I Survived Writing a Reality Television Piece

Posted by TBN On 07/07/2008

This is the first entry of what will be a weekly column by Kelly Martini about entertainment, electronics and just about anything else that suits her interests. To see more columns, check out theBAYNET.com's columnists.

Millions of viewers will tune in to ABC tonight to see if The Bachelorette, DeAnna Pappas, will choose Jason or Jesse (here’s hoping she chooses Jason). American Idol, whose eighth season is scheduled to begin in January 2009, has a loyal audience that comes back each year to choose the next big pop icon. And somehow, don’t ask me how, CBS’s Survivor, based on the Swedish television series, Expedition Robinson, will air its eighteenth season in the Spring of 2009.

So what is this great obsession with reality television that keeps these train wrecks on air? That’s just it. They’re train wrecks. There’s nothing we love more than seeing other people at their greatest moments of weakness, and nobody has mastered this art form better than our friends and allies from the East, the Japanese.

If you have cable, I’m sure you’ve flipped through the channels and stumbled across at least one episode of Ninja Warrior or MXC, short for Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.

MXC is an English-dubbed version of the Japanese show, Takeshi's Castle, that aired from 1986 to 1989. MXC now airs on Spike TV. The premise for the game is to get to the Castle and claim 1,000,000 yen. Of course, the closer you get to the castle, the more difficult the challenges and guards become. Challenges include events such as Ball Busters, wherein contestants try to get down the first base line without getting beaned by Donny ‘Big Hands’ Johnson, Chum in the Mouth, where contestants ride a foam board on a conveyor belt, dodging foam sharks to avoid being tossed into a pool of water, and Get Hard, where the competition gets a little stiffer as contestants crawl through quick drying cement.

At the end of each episode, MXC spotlights the ten most painful eliminations of the day, replaying in slow motion the contestants as they face plant into concrete, slip on balance beams and crush their unmentionables and in one instance that I can recall, even lose teeth.

The English commentary is obvious in its humor, dubbing conversations between field reporter Guy LeDouche (pronounced “gi”) and the contestants whom he attempts to hit on, male or female.

Ninja Warrior is a little less obvious in its humor. Again, an edited version of a Japanese sports entertainment show is screened in the United States by G4, and also in the United Kingdom by Challenge.

This show boasts participants from all walks of life, featuring national athletes and even pizza delivery drivers. Challengers must make their way through four stages to earn the title of Ninja Warrior.

In the first stage, 100 participants attempt to complete a series of obstacles in the allotted time. Typically, all but a handful of participants are eliminated in the first stage. In the most recent competition, the contestants faced the sextuple step, log grip, pole maze, jumping spider, half-pipe attack, warped wall, flying chute, tarzan rope and rope ladder in the first stage. They had to complete all of these obstacles in under two minutes. The second stage is another timed course, not all too different from the first. The third stage is more of a test of strength, with no time limit. In the final stage, contestants are expected to spider climb up a tower until reaching a rope, which they must climb to the top. Does this remind anyone of their high school gym class? In 20 seasons, and over 1,000 competitors, only two have ever achieved the glory of becoming a Ninja Warrior.

So how is this show funny and why

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