CampusTHURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / VOLUME 142, ISSUE 7 Times SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873 / campustimes.org UR raises tuition rates for 2015-16 BY SAAD USMANI the same size as the Class of 2018.” SENIOR STAFF Senior Vice President for Administration and Finance and This past weekend, UR Chief Financial Officer Ronald J. administration announced the Paprocki was quick to point out that tuition, room and board rates for although this is an increase from the upcoming 2015-2016 year. the last year, it is one of the lowest Tuition for undergraduates will in years, and there are widespread increase approximately 2.8 percent efforts to control costs. to $47,450, room and board will “[The tuition increase] for rise by 4.8 percent to $14, 294, and undergraduates in Arts Sciences the overall cost of attendance will and Engineering is the lowest rise by approximately 3.3 percent. since 1973-74,” Paprocki noted. Tuition rates for the Eastman “In addition to the prioritization School of Music will also rise by and cost control activities in the approximately 3.5 percent. individual schools, there have been A committee of administrators University-wide efforts to control is responsible for decisions about costs. These include contract TREBELLIOUS PERFORMS IN WILSON COMMONS budget and tuition. revisions in purchasing that save Provost Peter Lennie stated, money on goods and services AARON RAYMOND / STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER “The budget planning begins in purchased by the University, Members of student vocal group Trebellious perform in Wilson Commons. Trebellious gained final recognition by the Students’ the schools. The budget proposals adjustments in health benefits Association Senate on at a meeting on Monday. from the schools, including programs for employees and recommendations about tuition, introduction of Wellness programs are discussed and reviewed by to control healthcare costs, energy UR seeks legal action against Yik President Seligman and other senior management programs that have administrators, and then the budget reduced the University’s utilities is submitted to the Board of Trustees costs, and refinancing of the Yak users following racist posts for approval.” University’s debt to reduce interest BY ANGELA REMUS Ep), more racist and derogatory otherwise have been self-censored To counter the increase and its costs.” PUBLISHER language began appearing on the “Whether it’s bullying, racism effect on students who receive Paprocki said that the additional app. [or] sexism, we do not tolerate [it],” grants or scholarships from the BY AARON SCHAFFER funds will go toward student Due to Yik Yak’s anonymous Yik Yak co-founder and CEO Tyler school, UR has also committed to services and programs as well as EDITOR-IN-CHIEF platform and geographic limitations, Droll said at the College Media an additional 5.9 percent increase upgrading facilities and establishing UR students rank among the the posts and their readers are largely Association Conference in New in financial aid for the students. new faculty. According to Lennie, most active users of Yik Yak, but in confined to the River Campus. York City in early March. “That’s Dean of Admissions and Financial some of the additional money will recent weeks the app’s reputation as “The big value of anonymity is nowhere close to the intention we Aid Jonathan Burdick noted, “As it be going toward funding academic a place for harmless puns and jokes that it levels the playing field so had when creating [the app].” happens, our spending on financial programs such as the planned Data was tarnished by posts containing the content is the most important As a result, the University has aid this year was a little more than Science major, new languages and derogatory slurs, personal threats thing—not social status, number had a challenging time responding 100 million, so the increase in the more research opportunities. Some and racist epitaphs. Sparked by of friends, public persona, etc,” Yik to posts that may have violated the aid budget for next year will be a of the money will be used in the Residential Life’s assignments of Yak Director of Communications student code of conduct. little more than six million. That forthcoming renovation of the Academic Living Centers to Drama Hilary McQuaide said in an email. “Maybe they wouldn’t constitute includes increased money for both Frederick Douglass Building. House, Douglass Leadership House However, anonymity can provide violations of the Code of Conduct current and new students; the plan is Usmani is a member of a platform for posts that might that the Class of 2019 will be about the class of 2017. (DLH) and Sigma Phi Epsilon (Sig SEE YIK YAK PAGE 5 SA adopts new bylaws % Increases in Tuition Arts, Sciences and Engineering BY JASON ALTABET changes originally began as an With the new bylaws, all SENIOR STAFF effort to improve the appeals senators are to be voted on by 9.0% process, Senate quickly expanded the entirety of the student body. 8.0% On March 19, SA Senate their effort into a full-fledged The top three vote-earning 7.0% passed new bylaws governing overhaul of student government sophomores, juniors and seniors 6.0% the Students’ Association. The bylaws. will receive positions, and the next 5.0% 4.0% 8.1% bylaws, which dictate everything SA President Antoinette Esce top five senators, no matter their 6.9% 5.9% 3.0% 5.3% from committee duties to election explained, “the old bylaws were class affiliation, will also serve. 4.3% 4.5% 2.0% 4.0% 4.0% 3.9% 3.5% 2.8% procedures, were the product of written a while ago, and not only Freshmen senators will continue 1.0% weeks of discussion and debate. were they messy, inconsistent and to be elected by the freshmen 0.0% The SA President, SA Vice incomplete, they didn’t reflect the class. “The change prevented the 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 President, heads of All Campus best practices of SA Government. constant problem we’d have of Fiscal Years Judicial Council and several For example, nowhere in the uneven races,” Esce explained. GRAPHIC COURTESY OF RONALD PAPROCKI1 senators drafted and revised the bylaws did it say what vote was “25 people would run in the The UR Board of Trustees approved tuition rates for the 2015-2016 school year at a 16-page document. While the needed to remove a senator.” SEE BYLAWS PAGE 4 meeting this month. Overall cost of attendance will rise by 3.3 per cent. SAE SCANDAL IN ADITI ANNIVERSARY EASTER FUNNY INSIDE OKLAHOMA THIS CT The pros and cons of college Student cultural club An open letter from the Easter traditions: Gracie Peters looks ADITI celebrates their 30th Bunny, responding to criticism at the Oklahoma University SAE anniversary on campus. of the holiday. fraternity scandal.

/ ILLUSTRATOR CHRISTIAN CIERI PAGE 7 OPINIONS PAGE 9 FEATURES PAGE 13 HUMOR PAGE 2 / campustimes.org NEWS / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 WEEKEND FORECAST COURTESY OF WEATHER.COM

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PUBLIC SAFETY UPDATE Students attempt to evade Public Safety

AARON RAYMOND / STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER BY ANGELA LAI were brought in to ventilate the NEWS EDITOR area, a cause was found for the BSU HOSTS BLACK WOMEN'S APPRECIATION DINNER smoke. A Heating, Ventilation and UR’s Black Students’ Union hosted the Black Women’s Appreciation Dinner with keynote speaker and Rochester Mayor 1. On Wednesday, March 18 Air Conditioning (HVAC) unit Lovely Warren in Douglass Dining Center on Sunday, March 22. at 12:51 a.m., DPS officers on the third floor was found to responded to a loud noise have a seized motor which caused complaint outside Lovejoy Hall the belt to burn up. Facilities was THIS WEEK ON CAMPUS facing the Residential Quadrangle. notified for repairs on the HVAC As officers approached, they unit. There were no injuries and THURSDAY observed six people talking loudly nothing was damaged besides the MARCH 26 outside of Lovejoy. When the HVAC unit, which needs repairs KOREAN-THEMED DINNER PAGE.STAGE.ENGAGE WITH GUANTE group observed the officers, they worth $1500. DANFORTH DINING CENTER, 5:00 P.M. - 9:00 P.M. WILSON COMMONS MAY ROOM, 7:00 P.M. - 8:30 P.M. quieted down and two left and The Korean American Students’ Association and Two-time National Poetry Slam champion, activist entered the building. As officers Students stay in Rush Rhees Dining Services will host their first Korean-themed and educator Guante will give a performance came closer to the group, the Library after closing dinner. All stations will be serving classic Korean exploring issues of identity, positionality and power. remaining four got up and entered dishes and Korean-inspired dishes. The event is free. the building. The officers yelled 3. Officers responded to intrusion for the group to stop, but they alarms for Rush Rhees two times FRIDAY over two days after the library was MARCH 27 kept walking. Officers followed the group inside and again closed. The first was on Saturday, ENGINEERING OLYMPICS COMPLEXITIES OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE advised them to stop, and three March 21 at 2 a.m. DPS officers GOERGEN HALL MUNNERLYN ATRIUM, 3:00 P.M. - 5:00 P.M. GOERGEN SLOAN AUDITORIUM, 3:00 P.M. - 4:00 P.M. of the four did. The fourth kept entered the building and started Tackle engineering challenges to score points and win This event will feature speakers discussing sexual walking and had to be told again checking the area. Officers saw prizes at the student-organized Engineering Olympics. violence, human trafficking, sexual assault, intimate to stop and talk to officers before an individual near the circulation All students, regardless of major, are welcome and partner violence within LGBTQ communities and encouraged to compete in teams in events like more using a TED talk format. Call (585) 275-8799 doing so. The group consisted of desk. The individual was rubber-band racing and bean bag launching. for more information. three undergraduates and one identified as an undergraduate. The student stated he thought SATURDAY visitor from another school. The MARCH 28 group was advised about the noise the library was open until 3 a.m complaint, and told that they and apparently missed the closing MORNING CHAMBER MUSIC KOREA NIGHT should stop and talk to officers announcements. The student was EASTMAN EAST HATCH HALL, 11:00 A.M. - 12:30 P.M. STRONG AUDITORIUM, 8:00 P.M. - 10:00 P.M. Morning Chamber Music is a series of hour-long This annual event features student-led and when they are advised to. The cooperative and escorted out of chamber music concerts. The series is directed community performances, a fashion show and group was sent on their way. the building. The second alarm by cellist Rosemary Elliott and features Eastman martial arts presentation. Tickets are $7 for UR was on Sunday, March 22 at collegiate faculty in varied programs. students and $10 for the general public. They will be Smoke but no fire in Schmitt 12:13 a.m. As officers approached This event is free and open to the public. sold at the Common Market in Wilson Commons. Organ Hall the building from the Eastman SUNDAY Quadrangle, they observed two MARCH 29 2. On Thursday, March 19 at individuals inside the building. VARSITY BASEBALL VS. BARD JAZZ COMBO CONCERT 11:11 p.m., Department of Public Officers entered and made contact TOWERS FIELD, NOON - 6:00 P.M. STRONG LOWER AUDITORIUM, 7:00 P.M. - 9:00 P.M. Safety (DPS) officers responded to with the two and identified them Come support our varsity baseball team as they play The River Campus Jazz Ensemble will play jazz the fire alarm in Eastman School as undergraduates. The two stated against Bard College. combos in a free and open concert. of Music’s Schmitt Organ Hall. As that they did not hear the closing officers approached the area, they announcement and were not observed thick smoke coming aware of the closing times. The from Schmitt Hall. Officers could two were cooperative and advised If you are sponsoring an event that you wish to submit for the calendar, not pinpoint where the smoke of the closing times and escorted please email [email protected] with a brief summary, including: the date, time, location and cost of admission. was coming from. The Rochester out of the building. Fire Department responded and Lai is a member of began checking the area as well. the class of 2018. Campus Times The smoke had stopped coming Information provided by SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873 in the room. While exhaust fans UR Public Safety. Wilson Commons 102 University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14627 Office: (585) 275-5942 / Fax: (585) 273-5303 Want to make the campustimes.org / [email protected] EDITOR-IN-CHIEF AARON SCHAFFER MANAGING EDITOR ADAM KADIR headlines? NEWS EDITORS ANGELA LAI HUMOR EDITORS CHRIS HORGAN SAM PASSANISI ERIK CHIODO FEATURES EDITORS RAAGA KANAKAM SPORTS EDITORS DANI DOUGLAS TANIMA PODDAR MAX EBER OPINIONS EDITOR JUSTIN TROMBLY PHOTO EDITORS PARSA LOTFI A&E EDITOR JEFFREY HOWARD RACHEL HAMMELMAN Join the Campus Times. COPY EDITORS SCOTT ABRAMS ILLUSTRATOR CHRISTIAN CIERI AUREK RANSOM ONLINE EDITOR JUSTIN FRAUMENI

BUSINESS MANAGER CAROL ROUHANA PUBLISHER ANGELA REMUS Contact Full responsibility for material appearing in this publication rests with the Editor-in-Chief. Opinions expressed in columns, letters or comics are not necessarily the views of the editors or the University of Rochester. Campus Times is printed weekly on Thursdays throughout the academic year, except around and during univer- sity holidays. All articles are free. Campus Times is published on the World Wide Web at www.campustimes.org and is updated Thursdays following publication. [email protected] Campus Times is SA funded. All materials herein are copyright © 2015 by Campus Times.

It is our policy to correct all erroneous information as quickly as possible. If you believe you have a correction, please email [email protected]. for details. THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / NEWS campustimes.org / PAGE 3 Fast-food workers’ Apple debuts Parkinson’s study speaking tour begins BY ANGELA LAI app in collaboration with URMC nationwide. Organizers NEWS EDITOR BY AUREK RANSOM anticipate that the rally will be COPY EDITOR the idea started with a Seattle-based non-profit Fast-food workers and UR a huge day for the movement. technology developed by research organization Sage students launched Metro Metro Justice council An app co-developed by Max Little, Ph.D., of Aston Bionetworks “built upon this Justice’s city-wide Fast Food member Jake Allen noted, “It’s URMC researchers was University in the UK. The concept to develop the mPower Worker Speaking Tour at not going to be just fast-food unveiled on March 9 at an technology “can detect app,” Michaud said. The study the University last Thursday, workers [...] The Fight for 15 Apple keynote event. The variations in recordings of a is funded by the Robert Wood March 19. Former fast-food provides an opportunity to app, dubbed mPower, is person’s voice,” said Michaud, Johnson Foundation. worker and current Metro galvanize a larger movement designed to collect real-time and can thus reveal the The app in its current form Justice union organizer Kim of low-wage workers” across data from those suffering severity of their Parkinson’s maintains the capability to Ramos, fast-food worker different industries. O’Malley from Parkinson’s disease. The symptoms. Little is currently detect voice variations. It will Emily Sullivan, Metro Justice and Allen also credited UR’s study is expected to gather a collaborator on the study, also be able to measure mobility organizing director Colin Students for a Democratic data from tens of thousands of along with Dr. Ray Dorsey and and balance through the use O’Malley and educational and Society (SDS) as one of the users and illuminate otherwise Dr. Karl Keiburtz, both based of the device’s accelerometer, political chair of Douglass local movement’s strongest unexplored facets of Parkinson’s at URMC. as well as measuring dexterity Leadership House Charlise supporters, with students disease, unobtainable through Little’s technology was first by testing how fast a user can Goodlet led the tour. They reaching out to fast-food traditional sampling. used in a study spearheaded tap the phone’s screen. These advocated for an industry-wide workers, participating in the According to study by URMC entitled “Thedata, which the app’s designers $15 per hour wage and the media committee and turning spokesperson Mark Michaud, Parkinson’s Voice Initiative.” right to unionize without fear out in large numbers to strikes. SEE APP PAGE 5 of employer retaliation. The movement argues that As part of the tour, workers since the fast-food industry are visiting churches and makes billions of dollars in North Korean refugee speaks at colleges in the Rochester area profits, it can and should to promote an upcoming rally increase its workers’ wages to where people will march from $15 an hour—a “living wage” LiNK event on campus UR’s Eastman Quadrangle at as opposed to current “poverty 5 p.m. on April 15 as part of wages.” The idea of a “poverty the nationwide Fight for $15 wage” is particularly relevant campaign. In doing so, they in Rochester, which the U.S. would join demonstrators Census ranked as the nation’s fighting for a $15 minimum 12th poorest city in 2013, with wage on April 15 in cities SEE FIGHT PAGE 4 Vandalism continues in Burton bathrooms BY SAM PASSANISI (ESW) to remove the vomit. As NEWS EDITOR the semester went on, vomit was Ongoing vandalism in the found in the showers at least once bathrooms of Burton Hall has every day and sometimes as often prompted an investigation by as four or five times a day. AARON RAYMOND / STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Public Safety and Residential At first, Bowden and her North Korean refugee and Rochester resident Justin Kim described his escape from his home country at an event on Tuesday. supervisors in ResLife were Life. Since the beginning of this BY RACHEL KAPLAN semester, vomit, feces and used concerned that the vomit might personal stories about his life. elementary school for only tampons have been left in the have been left by a resident STAFF WRITER LiNK is a non-political a few years, until he was second-floor Burton bathrooms suffering from bulimia. Bowden Liberty in North Korea international organization considered old enough to work on a near daily basis. Burton is an began reaching out to residents at (LiNK) hosted LiNK alumnus that seeks to rescue and help on the farm, cook meals in upperclassmen living hall, with hall meetings, offering help with and North Korean refugee the resettlement of North his home and take care of his 15 to 20 residents sharing four eating disorders for any students Justin Kim at an event on Korean refugees, as well as family. Kim recalled that he bathrooms on each floor. The who might be suffering. March 24, where he addressed to educate and gain support was not given the choice or residence hall is home to special “We involved UCC and LiNK members and other UR for humanitarian effortsthe opportunity to work or to interest living groups Greenspace, described the behaviors to them,” students. Kim spoke about under the oppressive North attend school. He was told that on Burton 1, and Tiernan Project, Director of Residential Life Laurel his experience growing up in Korean political system. UR’s he would not be entitled to a on Burton 2. Contomanolis said. Vomiting in oppressive North Korea, his LiNK chapter exists as a formal education, and that his The vandalism began during the shower is a known symptom attempts to flee the country subcommittee under Korean place was on the farm. the first days of the semester when of bulimia, as those suffering from and his resettlement in American Students’ Association “What I learned from my vomit was found in the shower the disorder often attempt to Rochester. Justin’s presentation (KASA), which is funded by childhood is to obey your stalls of the girls’ bathrooms. mask the sound of their vomiting. was followed by a question- the Students’ Association (SA). government and obey your Residents alerted Burton 2 RA However, it became clear that and-answer session by the During the event, Kim dictators,” Kim said. and sophomore Emma Bowden, a student with bulimia was not audience, during which discussed his childhood in Kim also discussed his who contacted ResLife and responsible. audience members were invited North Korea, growing up on multiple failed attempts Environmental Services Workers SEE BURTON PAGE 4 to ask Justin more details and a potato farm and attending SEE KIM PAGE 5 PAGE 4 / campustimes.org NEWS / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 Bylaws will reorganize Fight for $15 rally planned for April FIGHT FROM PAGE 3 U.S. studies on minimum wage minimum wage may affect large Senate committees an overall poverty rate of 35.4 found few effects on hiring. fast-food chains differently. percent. Even with these concerns, Regardless, Rochester fast BYLAWS FROM PAGE 1 those meetings is potentially Economists often question the two-year-old nationwide food workers feel the effects at-large race and only two in a problematic […] but they’re trying the benefits of a higherFight for $15 campaign has of low pay. Despite being an class race and we’d end up electing to take steps to make sure those minimum wage, as the increase already had an impact. Seattle, assistant manager at Wendy’s, people who received only 70 votes larger discussions don’t take place in pay needs to come from San Francisco and Oakland Sullivan explained that money from their class!” there.” somewhere, with potential side raised their minimum-wages is “super tight” and that her The other big change was the The express purpose of the effects including higher costs to $15, $12.25 and $12.25 an work schedule makes it difficult overhaul of roles in SA. “There’s executive branch will be to of food, lower incentives for hour respectively. However, the to spend quality time with her a much better idea now of who is implement all legislation and SA employers to hire more workers Institute for the Study of Labor kids. tasked with what,” senator Vanessa initiatives. Together, the directors and the decreased creation of found that each 10 percent hike SDS communications chair Sanchez said. “Legislative is really and aides will put together the new jobs. In response to these in the minimum wage led to one Jordan Polcyn-Evans added, “So in charge of having discussions, proposals that the legislative body arguments, O’Malley cited an to two percent drops in youth many people who are affected by making the decisions about what pass, with the entire process being estimate that the cost of items employment. Additionally, a this are our age and are trying to should happen, and tasking the overseen by the President and Vice on the McDonald’s dollar menu Forbes contributor noted that do the same things that a lot of executive with actually following President. There shall be Directors would increase by just a few Seattle restaurants were closing us, as students at the University through and doing it.” of Academics, Alumni and cents to compensate for the at higher rates than usual as of Rochester, have the privilege Each legislative committee will Advancement, Campus Services, increase in pay, and added that the implementation date of the of doing.” contain legislative advisors, at least Community Engagement, Public an Australian university found minimum wage approached. Lai is a member of two senators and a committee Relations and Student Life. These that the most comprehensive The effects of a higher the class of 2018. chair. The steering committee, directors shall be appointed by the which decides the agenda for each presidential team. week’s Senate meetings, will now Overall, Esce explains that SA be run by the Speaker, the chairs will function more efficiently in Person(s) lay waste to restrooms of all Senate committees, the achieving the goals of students. BURTON FROM PAGE 3 RAs from all buildings on the and permanently banned from President and Vice President of “These old (Senate) committees Other Burton residents began Residential Quad began making University housing, and that the SA, the Chief Justice and the were simultaneously trying to to find vomit left in bags in rounds of Burton 2, checking their ID card access to University Drama House, Douglass Leadership House and Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity retained their living spaces on the Fraternity Deputy Chief Justice of the All- perform both legislative and the hallways, or deposited in the bathrooms on an hourly buildings would likely be revoked Quad in a decision Friday from ResLife. Phi Kappa Tau and Delta Upsilon Fraternity were passed up for the opportunity. Campus Judicial Council. While executive functions and it was very trash cans in the floor lounge. basis in the weeks leading up to as well. The suspects would also senators are allowed to attend, the difficult. Now, the deliberative, Contomanolis also noted that spring break. Finally, beginning undergo a conduct investigation previously mentioned positions research and feedback work will some of the “vomit” may simply on March 6, Burton ID card and could be expelled for hazing, will be the only voting members. be under the Senate Committees have been food waste that was access was restricted to residents and would be expected to pay for Non-voting members can be and they’ll have partners in the dumped in the shower. of the building. Bowden said that all costs that ResLife has accrued expelled from the meeting if so Executive Directors, who will be Later in February, residents if it does not seem to help, the over the course of the semester. decided by the presiding members. official parts of the President’s of Burton 2 began to find used building might be reopened to all ESW workers have been called Vanessa Sanchez views this cabinet. Splitting up the role of tampons duct-taped to the students. several times after regular hours to exclusion of Senators voting as a the committees means more [… bathroom stalls. At this point, Bowden noted that there was deal with the biohazard caused by potential problem. “A lot of the ]effective output from passionate ResLife became certain that the no vandalism over spring break or feces or vomit in the bathrooms. time, big decisions are made at and specialized people.” vandalism was intentional. By until March 18th, when tampons “It’s been a terrible, terrible steering and I think excluding Altabet is a member of the end of February, the vomit were again found taped to the burden on [ESW workers],” Senators as voting members at the class of 2017. and tampons had disappeared bathroom stalls. On March 22 Bowden said, adding, “I think from the bathrooms and had and March 23, feces were found the most frustrating thing for my been replaced by feces left on the in the bathroom. residents is that it’s been going on Office of Admissions bathroom floor. When asked about the for so long.” As part of an effort to curtail the punishment for the culprits, Passanisi is a member Continuing Student Scholarships vandalism, ResLife organized 24- Contomanolis said that the of the class of 2017. hour patrols by RAs in Burton. culprits would be immediately

The Office of Admissions is proud to announce its annual scholarships for returning undergraduate students.

Continuing Student Scholarship for Undergraduates

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For deadlines, eligibility, and applications: http://bit.ly/1ATAb9r

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Great Summer Job! Call Alex 585 - 244 - 6360 THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / NEWS campustimes.org / PAGE 5 New app Yik Yak controversy continues Kim from YIK YAK FROM PAGE 1 had “demand[ed] that the posts be increasingly offensive and specific describes and warrant discipline, but they’re removed and that Yik Yak provide student names were called out, URMC the kind of things that don’t information to the University DLH members shared the posts constitute principles of fairness, about the posters.” Feldman with their advisors, who involved escape inclusion, and respect,” Dean of left a description of the posts DPS, Feldman and Dean of to collect the College Richard Feldman said. intentionally vague. Students Matthew Burns. In a The University has decided “I didn’t want to repeat them,” sign of solidarity with DLH, both from data on to pursue investigation into the Feldman said. “It seemed hurtful Burns and Feldman visited the offending posts, and has contacted to spread them even more widely.” house on March 6, and DPS has the District Attorney (DA)’s office. However, Feldman acknowledged been providing a steady presence DPRK Parkinson’s According to Department of the tradeoff that the lack of around the house to alleviate FROM PAGE 3 Public Safety (DPS) Director Mark specificity causes. student concerns for their safety. KIM disease Fischer, DPS is “working with the “One of the things I’ve learned In addition to threats to physical to escape North Korean DA’s office on the determination in talking to a few students about safety, however, DLH members oppression and flee to China, the APP FROM PAGE 3 of whether a crime has been it is that they didn’t realize the were disheartened by the Yik Yak first of which was in 2003. He and expect will be collected from committed.” On March 9, the kinds of things that were said and comments because of the way they friends were able to approach the more than 20,000 users, will University asked the DA’s office for just how awful they were,” he discredited the whole process of river that separates North Korea be aggregated as part of a a subpoena. said. “[Students] might have seen selecting ALCs. In addition to the from China, only to turn around longitudinal study conducted While McQuaide said that “Yik comments from me or others in the comments regarding race, other after seeing the state of the water. by Sage Bionetworks. Yak is about location first, anonymity administration as unduly criticizing comments were expressly directed After a few more attempts, Additionally, the app boasts second,” the company uses a host of and thinking you can’t say things at DLH’s ALC application. In an run-ins with police officials, and the capability to reveal real- provisions to protect the anonymity that are not so nice. And then they attempt to alleviate some of the jail time as punishment for his time health information of its users. Yik Yak releases non- find out what it really was and they commentary regarding the housing attempts to escape the country, selection, ResLife asked DLH and and feedback to its users. public user information only to ‘Yik Yak had in September 2005, Kim safely According to Michaud, the law enforcement officials who have the other ALCs to release their escaped to East China, where he app will simply collect data a subpoena, court order or search banned one user (for proposals. DLH declined to do so. lived for eight years until he could from its users and will not warrant. If officials have a court “Some people had the feeling that fly safely to John F. Kennedy recommend care or diagnose order, Yik Yak states that “certain threatening to burn [the request] undermined the whole airport in New York. From there, symptoms, which would non-content records associated with a structure in front process of picking the house,” DLH he told officials that he and his require FDA approval. a user’s account...includ[ing] the member Christopher Marsh said, “It is not hard to imagine that time and date when a message was of DLH), and [...] Yik adding, “It seemed like you have Kim made it to East in the near future,” he added, posted and the IP address associated to appease the attackers.”. China, where he lived “disease monitoring apps like with the message” will be released Yak is actively looking However, the posts went beyond this could be developed and to them. If they produce a search for ways to encourage the issues of housing and the ALC for eight years until warrant, Yik Yak is compelled “... selection process. used to supplement the care he could fly safely provided by a physician.” to disclose the contents of any more responsible use “The issue wasn’t about getting messages associated with a user’s the house back,” DLH President The app is designed to of the app.’ to John F. Kennedy collect data from users account.” Yik Yak also requires a Sade Richardson said. “This year is several times per day. Since search warrant for the release of say ‘Oh God, that’s over the line.’ It’s the year of inclusion, and I felt like airport in New York. symptoms of Parkinson’s GPS records. a hard call because [without quoting this was pretty much not inclusive.” can vary throughout the However, because of Yik Yak’s them,] some people might not have Meanwhile the University seeks family would “prefer to live day, this approach most anonymous nature, it is unclear understood how bad they were.” the identities of the offending somewhere cold,” so he was sent effectively captures reliable what records Yik Yak could release. Not all of UR’s demands to Yik users, and students are trying to to live in Rochester, where he data from its users. Variations According to Yik Yak’s legal policy, Yak have been met, but on March regain the forum that Yik Yak has resides today. could potentially arise in “Yik Yak’s records of ‘basic subscriber 13, in an email updating parents on the potential to be. SA Senator Kim described his first data collected before and information,’ if any, are likely to be the situation, Feldman informed and freshman Delvin Moody’s impression of the U.S. saying after taking medication or very limited.” them that “Yik Yak had banned “Take Back Yik Yak” initiative was he was amazed by the fact that exercising. “DPS has done some investigation, one user (for threatening to burn a presented at this week’s Senate “everyone was driving their own The free application is but now needs the identity of the structure in front of DLH), and […] meeting, and will hopefully be car, and no one was working in available exclusively through offending users in order to complete that Yik Yak is actively looking for one step towards reestablishing a the field.” the iPhone’s App Store. the process,” Senior Counsel for ways to encourage more responsible positive environment on Yik Yak. Reflecting back on his journey, Likewise, the software was River Campus Legal Issues Richard use of the app.” According to Fischer, the Kim encourages students to created by Sage Bionetworks Crummins said. “It’s disappointing to me that investigation “will not end until pursue hard work and courage in using Apple’s research The University informed the that’s part of the community,” Dean we exhaust every lead.” order to accomplish major feats. application development tool, student body, in an email sent of the College Richard Feldman Remus is a member of According to Kim, “Your heart ResearchKit. The mPowerMarch 8, that they had contacted said in reference to the racially the class of 2016. can change the world.” app was unveiled along with Yik Yak regarding the posts. The charged posts. Schaffer is a member of Kaplan is a member four others at the time of the email said that that the University As the comments grew the class of 2016. of the class of 2018. keynote event, each designed to track symptoms of breast cancer, asthma, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. In light of the 22,000 users garnered by the app designed to track symptoms of cardiovascular disease, the outlook is good for the mPower app. Sage Bionetworks is working jointly with organizations dedicated to studying Parkinson’s, such as the Michael J. Fox Foundation, to gain a large user base. The decision to design an app for the study of Parkinson’s is timely. Mobile technologies are increasingly prevalent in research, according to Michaud. “The Parkinson’s Voice Initiative … is an example, as is a project being developed by [UR] Professor Henry Kautz to help track Ebola in Africa,” Michaud said. “Employing mobile technologies to study diseases are an important part of the future of medicine.” Ransom is a member of the class of 2017. PAGE 6 / campustimes.org OPINIONS / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 OPINIONS EDITORIAL CARTOON EDITORIAL BOARD While costly, tuition changes are at least a step forward Last Thursday, UR doesn’t line up with the reality meeting on April 3 with Dean announced its tuition and room that most families in the United of Admissions and Financial and board rates for the 2015- States cannot simply part with Aid Jonathan Burdick to 16 academic year. Clocking tens of thousands of dollars discuss changes to the system. in at $47,450 for tuition and over the course of four years. We encourage both students $14,294 for room and board, President Seligman’s optimism and administrators to join UR remains no exception to is admirable, but perhaps nave. the larger conversation about the ever-increasing costs of Despite seeing an increase in UR’s financial aid system and American higher education. our costs, we must commend hope that the administration Many students probably the administration for at least will continue to reach out panicked at these figures, taking a step in the right to students to address their and understandably so—any direction; these new rates are concerns.

CHRISTIAN CIERI / ILLUSTRATOR increase in attendance costs the lowest increases in tuition Similarly, we encourage can threaten a student’s ability and total costs in the last 40 students to attend President EDITORIAL OBSERVER to continue their education at years. Seligman’s semesterly town hall UR. And, looking at the trend meeting at 7 p.m. on March 31 Straight outta Many UR students are across recent years, it appears in the Gowen Room in Wilson strapped for cash, burdened by that UR is only going to Commons. the current economic climate. continue to slow the rate of Everyone who cares about Eastman The prospect of spending tuition increases. the cost of their education aren’t just words being spoken— the foreseeable future in the In another highly should attend and contribute they are delivered with rhythmic clutches of debt certainly can’t commendable move, the to the conversation. Hopefully, patterns in mind. They flow be appealing, either. College chose to increase increased student pressure and and follow meters. Second, to And, while President its commitment to student dialogue will help decrease discard drum machines, samplers, Seligman says that the financial aid by 5.9 percent. future student costs and will be production software and the like administration is committed We are happy to see that the a step toward making college as “fake instruments” is to restrict to “keep[ing] the...Rochester school is prepared to improve affordable for everyone. the definition of instruments. education accessible and its aid capabilities in light of Students and administrators BY JUSTIN TROMBLY This viewpoint is completely affordable,” we think it is a the increased costs. alike are committed to OPINIONS EDITOR ignorant of the evolution of bit of a stretch to call our As part of the Peaceful bettering the university; all we I used to hate rap music. I still music and a trade just as skillful education either of those Protest of U of R’s FA System can ask for is the good work to remember sitting in a study hall, as playing an acoustic instrument. things. To call UR’s education movement, which began last continue. hearing my friends chatter about I can understand the gridlock of accessible and affordable year, reform leaders will be the latest rap album and, in my tradition, but that doesn’t imply 7th grade squeak, crying out, “Rap inauthenticity. If something can is garbage! It’s all, ‘do drugs, shoot be learned to be played and used people; I’m so cool!’” to create music, why shouldn’t it be Yik Yak: a tough situation, At the time, my disgust with considered an instrument? rap music made sense. Neither of Often, I’ve found that rap takes handled with care my parents liked the genre, and I’d the best of its influences and grown up in a home soundtracked packages them with its own flairs. Recently, UR made headlines receiving complaints from news or word of mouth, would solely by classic rock. There’s something for everyone. by asking Yik Yak to reveal the high school administrators have been more transparent and Things changed the following For the hyper-literate, the sheer identities of the individuals about individuals using the perhaps stemmed the growth of year. Usually, I sat with the same volume of rhymes will entertain behind the slew of racist, app to cyberbully others. The rumors and hearsay. kid on the bus ride to school; he for hours; wordplay, poetic devices threatening posts that appeared administration could have The student body’s role in was a year older than me and and both complex and simple on the app several weeks ago. chosen to request the geo- this situation also cannot be had a monopoly on the music in rhyme schemes are abundant. The aftermath of this leaves us fencing of the campus, but ignored. First, we praise the the back of the bus. He shared It appeals to the scholar and the with a few thoughts. they did not, showing a respect efforts of individuals in SA his music with me, splitting his schoolboy, the party-goer and the We commend the actions for its students’ fundamental Senate to condemn the use of earbuds between us. You can activist. With social justice issues of the administration in these freedom of speech. threatening language on Yik probably guess what type of music closer to the core of rap music than troubling times. With racial Similarly, when the idea Yak and encourage the spread filled his library. any other genre, there are scores of issues and controversies so to simply block the app of positive messages in its place. Though rap wasn’t my cup of tea, artists for those seeking socially- prevalent in the national on school Wi-Fi came up A draft resolution to do so was I’d take anything over the sounds conscious music. With roots in atmosphere, it is laudable during deliberations, many written by SA Senators Delvin of the bus—little kids babbling block parties and clubs, there’s that UR is standing up for administrators advocated Moody and Sequoia Kemp, and bus gears grinding. At first, plenty for the casual listener as well. civil rights. In doing so, the against the measure, correctly and we encourage the Senate listening to rap for half an hour Even linguistics-heads can revel in administration is not only judging the (in)effectiveness of to continue on the path of each day was exhausting. But I the often ear-bending enunciations looking out for the interests the solution and the possible putting these plans into action. began to warm up to certain songs. used to make words rhyme. of its own students, but also issues with student freedom Second, we must remind the I’d find a rhythm catchy, a rhyme Many criticisms of rap revolve those of all those subjugated and privacy. We are glad to student body that it is a part entertaining. There was something around content—the stereotype to discrimination in today’s see that the administration has of this campus community and there, though I wasn’t sure what. I held as a 7th grader—that their world. And, after speaking with reacted reasonably. thus must work to contribute Everything clicked the day I lyrics only deal with money, members of the administration, Our only request is that positively to it. By attending heard the song “Thugz Mansion” drugs, sex and violence. This we are certain that UR is the administration improve this university, students by 2Pac. It captivated me. I demonstrates a mere cursory committed to ensuring the its communication with the pledge to abide by the Code remember racing home after knowledge of the genre and is also safety and comfortability of all student body regarding this of Conduct, and threatening school that day, hopping on our a flawed viewpoint. Many rappers of its students. issue. After being notified by to burn structures in front desktop computer and pulling up who discuss these topics do so as We also applaud the Yik Yak that the company would of buildings certainly isn’t a the song on YouTube. My career as an expression and reflection of administration’s restraint and not disclose the names of any covered or acceptable activity. a rap enthusiast had begun. their environments. As they say, sensitivity in this situation. In posters without legal reason, And, though UR’s Communal Rap music is often victim to art imitates life. And even if songs the past, when issues with the UR sought a subpoena from Principles aren’t binding in criticism. Some even claim that it glorify this type of lifestyle, who’s way the app was being used the Monroe County District the same way as the Code of isn’t “real music.” This is not only to say that’s a bad thing? Why not arose in high schools, Yik Yak Attorney’s office. However, the Conduct, as members of the narrow-minded and arrogant—it expose ourselves to things that opted to “geo-fence” the sites school made no direct effort University community, we is disgusting. make us uncomfortable? Why not of concern—block off access to let its students know about should all strive to respect and These claims can really be boiled explore the darkness in the world? within the area. Notably, the this decision. Informing the adhere to them. down to two points: one, rapping If rap isn’t for you, that’s fine. company did this with the student body of this, instead of We look forward to a more isn’t musical, and two, rap songs But please, don’t discard the genre entire city of Chicago after letting people find out via the positive and productive future. aren’t made with “real instruments.” as worthless. The above editorials are published with the consent of a majority of the editorial board: Aaron Schaffer (Editor-in- Both are ridiculous. First, the art of Trombly is a member of Chief), Adam Kadir (Managing Editor), Justin Trombly (Opinions Editor), Jeff Howard (A&E Editor) and Aurek Ransom (Copy Editor). The Editor-in-Chief and the Editorial Board make themselves available to the UR community’s ideas rapping is inherently musical; raps the class of 2018. and concerns. Email [email protected]. THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / OPINIONS campustimes.org / PAGE 7 Some traditions are good, but many are awful

BY GRACIE PETERS a racist chant. The words and inappropriate—but the accepting things as they are video and shut down the they cheered flowed all too student with the camera because “that’s how it’s always SAE chapter almost instantly. radition. Ritual. easily off of their lips. One of continued to film. been.” Of course, officials believe Habit. Institution. the ringleaders raised his fist, By now, this event is common Of course, this is not that such obtrusive racism T All of these words grinning eerily, and chanted knowledge. The young men always the case. Over the is unacceptable, but these are synonymous, for the most in this video were not born actions will not cause the part. Yet, each has its own No one is born with racist. No one is born with There is no vaccine racist students to get rid of connotation dependent on bigotry flowing through their their xenophobic thoughts— the words that complement it: bigotry flowing veins. Hatred, chauvinism, for bigotry. All we it is already too late for them. “The Institution of Slavery” through his or sexism and homophobia are all can do is change the The only way to eradicate and “Bad Habit” are examples. taught and passed down from something is to stop it before There are also good traditions. her veins. Hatred, generations. People adopt culture and educate it starts. There is no vaccine These could include giving prejudices against people who younger generations. for bigotry. All we can do someone a toast, volunteering chauvinism, sexism are different from them. Simply is change the culture and at a food bank on Thanksgiving and homophobia put, narrow-mindedness is educate younger generations. or giving gifts to someone on tradition—a bad tradition. A past eight months or so, Here is my advice. If you are his or her birthday. Religious are all taught and bad habit. young people have stood in a situation where you are and spiritual holidays built passed down from I have drawn the conclusion up and protested against told to do something because on honorable values are good that the young men of Sigma police brutality, spawning “everyone else has to do it,” and rituals. generations. Alpha Epsilon at Oklahoma the “#BlackLivesMatter” it makes you uncomfortable, But there are also bad were comfortable singing movement to break down racial then say something about traditions. Many traditions are the lyrics to the song with the racist chant because they barriers. This is progress, but it. Just because events are bad traditions. Terrible ones. pride: “There will never be a considered it “traditional.” it is not progressive enough. considered “ritualistic” or Upsetting ones. Bad habits. n****r in SAE/You can hang And this mindset doesn’t hit so We need to take preventive “traditional” doesn’t mean Earlier this month, a short him from a tree/but he can far from home. measures. At Oklahoma, that they’re right. video caused an uproar in never sign with me…” This concerns me. This university officials condemned Use good judgement. Speak the media. The footage One student tried to push should concern all of us. I the actions of the local Sigma up. Enough with the bad showed Sigma Alpha Epsilon the video camera away— find it increasingly difficult to Alpha Epsilon chapter. The habits. Fraternity members at he knew that the whole believe that, as a generation, school expelled the two most Peters is a member of Oklahoma University singing situation was unsettling we are fine with simply prominent figures in the the class of 2018. Obama should moderate his response to Netanyahu BY ZACHARY TAYLOR According to one narrative, Abbas was the one obstructing connected better with Israel’s On the other hand, anything this was a disaster for liberal peace negotiations, even after Jewish minorities who resent as drastic as a complete about- he newest season of Zionism and a potential turning Netanyahu spent political the Ashkenazi elite. Eventually, face at the UN would trigger “House of Cards” point in Israel’s already perilous capital negotiating a settlement though, his luck might run out. a backlash and vindicate revolved around an international relations. UN freeze and other unrequited Thus, if this election represents Netanyahu’s own warnings TAmerican attempt to broker peace watchers know that Israel is concessions.) Now that Palestine a turning point, it will come to voters. According to the between Israel and Palestine. It is the General Assembly’s favorite has been recognized by the from the United States’ reaction Israeli right, Jews have been on fitting, then, that Israeli Prime human-rights punching bag. their own for 3,000 years, and Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Israel makes a convenient international condemnation won a surprise reelection with scapegoat for the world’s is inevitable regardless of what antics so shameless that Frank dictators and genocidal Israel does. So, the best response Underwood would blush while regimes, many of which are is to hold firm. President breaking the fourth wall. anti-Western, and many of Obama is less popular in Israel One day before last week’s whom have seats on the UN than any other American election, Netanyahu shocked Human Rights Council in president and must make the world by declaring a given year. (Notoriously, Netanyahu look unambiguously unambiguously that there would Libya was a member responsible for any diplomatic never be a Palestinian state on until the 2011 uprising. spat. (Fortunately, Netanyahu’s his watch. The day of the vote, Current members include Congressional speech stunt he rallied his voters with good Russia, Pakistan, Cuba and helps Obama’s case.) Moreover, old-fashioned race-baiting, Saudi Arabia, which has substantive actions taken at the warning that Arab voters were been reappointed almost UN would be impossible to coming to the polls “in droves.” continuously since 2007. reverse. Obama told Netanyahu (As a matter of fact, Israel’s Arab Sudan was nominated and he needs to “re-assess our parties did have a historically nearly appointed nine years options” and refused to rule out into the Darfur genocide.) supporting full UN recognition Netanyahu’s Yet, the Israeli occupation is of Palestine. Unfortunately, the just bad enough to put Israel traditional argument against this election antics in the sights of legitimate is still valid: the Palestinian played with fire. human rights advocates and Authority is equally guilty in to make defending Israel obstructing peace negotiations. And Israel may an unpopular proposition Recognition would reward outside of American domestic Abbas, giving him less reason still get burned, as politics. Israel is also subject International Criminal Court, CHRISTIAN CIERI / ILLUSTRATOR to take the risks associated with President Obama... to disproportionate attention the stakes are higher than ever. to Israel, not from the Israeli peace. It is self-defeating to apply because larger human rights Netanyahu’s election antics electorate itself. On the one pressure to one side in ways that does not believe abuses usually involve countries played with fire. And Israel may hand, it is in America’s interest to take pressure off of the other Netanyahu’s that are unstable or autocratic still get burned, as President push Israel and the Palestinians side. A better alternative would and thus presumably less Obama has personally stated he toward peace, and this is one be to back a UN resolution retraction. susceptible to pressure. does not believe Netanyahu’s area where moral and strategic establishing a timeline for the International recognition of retraction. logic coincide. America’s UN establishment of a demilitarized good showing, having finally Palestine and pressure on Israel However, it is important not veto and $3 billion in annual Palestinian state. Such proposals decided to run with, instead of has grown during Netanyahu’s to mischaracterize the elections. aid entitle Obama to meddle in have been tabled by France against, each other.) administration, held at bay only Netanyahu personally won, but Israeli politics, as George H.W. and other nations. If Palestine Two days after the election, by the United States’ Security he did so by poaching seats from Bush did when Prime Minister backed out, the US could give Netanyahu backtracked. He Council veto, which, in turn, is parties even farther to the right Yitzhak Shamir refused to freeze Israel cover to back out. If Israel claimed to have never revoked based on the premise that Israel than his own. Moreover, the net settlement construction. (Israel doesn’t follow through, the US his support for a demilitarized supports a two-state solution size of the Israeli right actually needed loans to absorb a wave could support harsher measures. Palestinian state and that he only and that unilateral actions at the shrank from 61 to 57 seats out of of immigrants from the USSR’s The Obama Doctrine is, in the meant that conditions were not UN reward Palestine for failing 120. This comes despite the fact decomposing corpse; Papa Bush President’s own words, “don’t yet right for an agreement. (He to come to the negotiating that the center-left was plagued suspended these loans; voters do stupid stuff.” Hopefully, he also gave a mediocre apology for table. (This premise is not as by uninspired leadership. Having nixed Shamir.) Unfortunately will live by that wisdom while his racial comments, which was absurd as it sounds; several failed to build a successful peace for Obama, there is no way revisiting US policy. then rejected by the Arab Joint years ago, president of the platform, it tried to run an Congress will let him near the Taylor is a member of List.) Palestinian Authority Mahmoud economic campaign. Netanyahu purse strings. the class of 2015. PAGE 8 / campustimes.org OPINIONS / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 Israel: ‘a beacon of progressivism’ BY RACHEL GOLDBERG AND and Tel Aviv, Israel’s largest and one of America’s closest also provide free medical care between these two democracies REBEKAH PASTER city, was recently named the allies. to Palestinians in both the West continues to strengthen with world’s top gay destination by In the proud tradition of Bank and Gaza, as well as to bipartisan support. Israel is the n today’s world of a 24 gaycities.com. On March 17, Israel’s successful peace deals victims of the Syrian Civil War. only Middle Eastern nation -hour news cycle, Twitter Israeli voters elected a record with Egypt and Jordan, Israel Even the daughter o f that protects the freedoms I and other social media number of minority citizens to remains committed to peace Ismail Haniyeh, and rights of all of its citizens, platforms, misinformation serve in the Israeli parliment, with its Palestinian neighbors, the Hamas leader regardless of gender, religion and half-truths have the the Knesset, in an election hoping to one day live side-by- who has or ethnicity. While Israel— ability to spread around the administered by the Justice side in peace with a Palestinian like the United States or any world faster than ever before. state. Toward this goal, the other democracy—has its Lately, we have been troubled ...Israel shares the Israeli government has time flaws and makes its fair share by the spreading of inaccurate and time again offered of mistakes, our community information about Israel. As same values of countless concessions should celebrate Israel as a proud advocates for social freedom, inclusion for peace and continues beacon of progressivism. The justice, we can say that Israel to support an immediate nation is a dedicated ally of shares the same values of and respect that our return to negotiations the United States as well as a freedom, inclusion and respect campus community without preconditions. support of the efforts of those that our campus community Alongside Israel’s and only those who seek to rise regards so highly. regards so highly. government, the Israeli people repeatedly above divisive rhetoric to bring According to Freedom continue to build bridges with CHRISTIANcalled CIERI / ILLUSTRATOR for the about a sustainable peace for House, a U.S.-based non- of Israel’s Supreme Court, their Palestinian neighbors annihilation of all people in the Middle East. governmental organization who is an Arab Christian. in hopes of bringing about a Israel and all its citizens, Goldberg is a member of that conducts research on These are just some of the sustainable peace. For example, received life-saving the class of 2015. democracy, Israel is one of countless reasons given by the Israeli non-profit Save medical treatment last Paster is a member of the only two free countries in the Senator Elizabeth Warren, a a Child’s Heart, regularly October. class of 2016. Middle East and North Africa. progressive icon, who praises provides free, life-saving heart In 1948, the United States Goldberg and Paster are Israel has the best record on Israel for being the only liberal surgeries to Palestinian children. was the first nation to recognize members of gay rights in the Middle East, democracy in the Middle East Hospitals throughout Israel Israel, and the relationship UR Israel Council. Got an opinion?

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Shoot us your ideas at [email protected] THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / FEATURES campustimes.org / PAGE 9 FEATURES ADITI celebrates its 30th anniversary

BY TANIMA PODDAR in representing my nation events such as going to eat and co-sponsoring many other debate with UR Debate Union FEATURES EDITOR through a wonderful avenue Indian food together, watching events with organizations on last November titled, “Should such as ADITI,” he adds. movies together.” campus. Arranged Marriages Be Banned The Association for the ADITI provided a way to For Harleen Girgla, a “For Mela and every other in South Asia,” which proved Development of Interest in the channel the homesickness of senior who joined ADITI as event that we have had this to be extremely successful. Indian Subcontinent (ADITI) these international students in a freshman and is currently year, this executive board has With fundraisers for a 2013 is celebrating its 30th year on a positive direction. serving as the president of breathed and lived ADITI,” Bangladeshi factory collapse campus this year. and floods in Kashmir in 2014, In 1985, it was founded with senior and co-publicity chair the purpose of “promo[ting] Lydia Berman, who joined the and express[ing] the cultural organization in her freshmen and ethnic diversity of the year and has served on the Indian Subcontinent and South ADITI executive board for the Asia.” past three years, feels that “[it’s] Over the years, the club great when ADITI [comes] has produced, sponsored and together with students and participated in various artistic, other campus organizations to academic and social events. plan fundraisers.” However, what makes the club “[T]hese unique fundraisers so special is the enthusiasm and have allowed us to expand hard work of its members. and enrich our cultural Sophomore James Tobias said programming as well as [to] that he joined ADITI this past strengthen our relationship on September “just for something campus and in the Rochester to do,” but “[he] quickly community,” she said. saw how great it is and how According to Tobias, his awesome all its members are… favorite memory in the club then [he] was hooked.” was “tunnel painting for [the Junior and current ADITI South Asian] Expo at 2:00 in Vice President Akanksha Executive board and Junior executive board members of ADITI at the South Asian PHOTO COURTESY OF ADITI the morning”. Varma said it was the need to Senior Ashok Kamani, the stay connected and spread the With numerous events to the club, some of her favorite sophomore and co-cultural business manager, said his culture she was so proud of. plan each year, the club depends experiences have been “during chair Trisha Arora said. “I joke “favorite event was the South “I am an international student heavily on the cooperation and the clean-ups for our events all the time that I have failed Asian Expo because this entails from Mumbai, and I love my coordination of its members.” with our members.” numerous exams just because so many different performances culture. ADITI was, and still With an executive board “[W]e always play some of all the work I have put in,” in a very amiable environment, is, my outlet for expressing of ten members, five to seven Bollywood music, get together she adds. and it is very similar.” that culture on campus and active junior executive board and clean together—it actually Arora sincerely believes that Still celebrating their latest spreading awareness about it,” members and 150 general joining ADITI’s E-board has success, “Mela 2015,” which she said. members, what makes the been “one of the best decisions” was held on March 21 in The similar passion to stay club unique from other she has made since coming to Upper Strong, Mehta said that connected with one’s culture organizations on campus is UR. “singing and emceeing my way after coming to a foreign land the amount of teamwork it Apart from these two major through Mela, I couldn’t have could be seen in several others displays. events, ADITI is also renowned asked for a more fun-loving of its members as well. Tobias correctly sums up for organizing a formal dinner experience this entire semester.” “I joined ADITI to buttress the closeness of the club by every spring with fun themes Berman admits that “planning and expand the social recognizing “the intimate such as “Bollywood Bash” and Mela this year was exciting, but awareness for my South Asian sense of community among it’s “Royal Rath.” also very nerve-wracking.” community,” sophomore members.” They perform “Garba,” a But, then again, according Vitraag Mehta said. The sense of bonding and popular Indian dance, with to Girgla, “working with “Considering myself to be family is something that is Raas, a South-Asian dance people who are dedicated and patriotic and determined of my thriving in the club because group on campus, to celebrate passionate about South Asian community, ADITI facilitated of its members. “We are a very Navratri, a well known Indian culture makes it all worth it.” me to reconnect with my close-knit group,” sophomore PHOTO COURTESY OF ADITI festival. Moving forward, Varma adds community in a faraway and ADITI technical director ends up being a lot of fun and “Be The Change Day” is that “the hope for the club is to distant land. I believe that Yashika Patil said. we even dance!” she added. ADITI’s annual community be able to continue the great in a foreign nation, it’s your Sophomore and co-cultural ADITI’s two major events— service event, which was momentum and energy we had duty and privilege to represent chair Parakh Patel adds, “I South Asian Expo in the fall and organized with Delta Phi so far.” yourself as a brand ambassador would call the executive board Mela in the spring—keeßßp its Omega and Sigma Beta Rho. Poddar is a member of of your nation that your roots my second family. We hang members occupied throughout Apart from these events, the Class of 2018. come from, and I take pride out and have a lot of bonding the year along with sponsoring ADITI co-sponsored a public

UR OPINION “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MISS THE BY TANIMA PODDAR & PARSA LOTFI MOST ABOUT WINTER?” FEATURES EDITOR & PHOTO EDITOR

NATALIE SANTACESARIA LEAH SCHWARTZ ‘17 MICHAEL MYERS ‘16 JORDAN SNAJCZUK ‘15 MANAN HORA ‘18 NICK WACHTER ‘17 ‘16

“Nothing, I hate winter.” “Boots and sweaters.” “Skiing.” “Look of the frozen “Snow falling.” “Not feeling guilty about Genesee.” taking the tunnels.” PAGE 10 / campustimes.org FEATURES / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 Crossword Jodi Says: Come again? BY JOSEPH LINDEN ‘17 DIFFICULTY HARD BY JODI ARMSTRONG orgasms will require a solid Women can ejaculate without STAFF WRITER foundation of understanding. squirting, and when they do, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 A normal, single orgasm has it’s not much. The trick to Multiple orgasms? That’s not a certain pattern: first steeply 12 13 14 multiple orgasms, for most even real: the female orgasm increasing arousal, then a people, is to orgasm without isn’t even a real thing, just a 15 16 17 plateau, followed by orgasm, ejaculation. You can imagine myth! ending with a retreat towards how this bypasses the refractory 18 19 20 Just kidding, that’s not true resting arousal levels. In the case period issue. at all. of multiple orgasms, that retreat In order to orgasm again, the 21 22 Of course, having multiple is interrupted by continued body doesn’t have to prepare orgasms is a pretty rare stimulation. more fluid, it only has to 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 phenomenon, experienced more Arousal stays at its plateau get ready for another spasm, often by women than by men. 30 31 32 33 level, and orgasm can be reached seriously cutting down the It’s a common misconception again, and again, and again… refractory period. 34 35 36 37 that only women can have So how can you separate your multiple orgasms, even though the orgasm from ejaculation? The 38 39 it’s accurate that women are “ answer is kegels. Sex/life hint: much more likely to. Sex & ” the answer is always kegels. 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 But men, don’t go off LET SEX & THE CT HELPCT YOU Practicing kegels regularly thinking we with lady parts are THROUGH YOUR MOST 47 48 49 will strengthen your pelvic floor off living the orgasmic dream— AWKWARD SEXUAL YEARS. muscles and help you control 50 51 52 one in three of us has trouble them better. orgasming altogether. And also, So, how do you avoid that Then, if you want to have 53 54 55 don’t feel left out, because men post-orgasm drop off? What multiple orgasms, when your can have multiple orgasms too! about the refractory period? first orgasm rolls around, Multiple orgasms can seem Across Down For this part, it’s crucial to squeeze those pelvic floor like a phenomenon that you 1 March is in like a ____ 1 Undead spellcaster recognize the difference between muscles like the dickens. may or may not be lucky 5 Not near 2 Traditional Japanese case for orgasm and ejaculation. Orgasm With practice, this can allow enough to experience, but, in 9 Cut (off a head) holding small objects describes the height of sexual you to prevent yourself from fact, it can be a skill. This is 12 Inwardly 3 Variety act pleasure, marked by rhythmic ejaculating while you orgasm. the point where all of your ears 13 Uncontrollable slide 4 Alternative to Pupal muscular spasms. Orgasms That way you can ride the should perk up and all your eyes 14 ___ got a secret 5 What’s left after a fire are most often accompanied orgasm and then just keep widen. 15 A festival of races 6 Showy by ejaculation, but they can going. Yes, you can learn how to 16 With all speed 7 Astralian happen independently. Of course, multiple orgasms have multiple orgasms; male or 18 A basketball court without 8 Measurement of the resistance Ejaculation is the actual are rare. Maybe they would be female, it’s possible. Of course, nets is ______to evaporative heat loss process of expelling a fluid. For more common if more people I imagine it’s a lot like learning 20 Minor, as in a god 9 ___, the universe, and men it’s semen, for women it’s knew how to try for them, but optics—I’m sure it’s possible, 21 A Cannabis product everything. something else science hasn’t who knows. It’s an art, not a but come on, can a mere mortal 23 ____ Technologies produces 10 Egg settled on a name for yet. science, so treat it as such. It’s do it? It’s worth a shot. Like semiconductors 11 Brazilian football player (best To be clear, I’m not necessarily all about the journey! learning the science of optics, 26 To date of all time?) referring to squirting when Armstrong is a member of learning to have multiple 27 Natural gas advocators for 17 100 card Magic format I refer to female ejaculation. the class of 2016. the US 19 Top-half woman, bottom half 30 The province of a governor in snake the Ottoman Empire 22 Small pigpen 32 π is the ____ for 3.141… 23 Blood grouping system 34 Poem 24 Place you sleep 35 US bookkeeping org. 25 What you see out of 37 Trait dogs are prized for 27 Starwars equivalent to A.C.E. 38 Large hardwood evergreen 28 State in West India tree 29 Every 40 Ancient Roman/Greek 31 Mild performance buidings 33 Single strand of fiber 43 Elephent-like creature 36 Inability to walk 47 Where first drafts of stories 38 Give money go. 39 Deposit of a meltwater stream 49 Pufferfish, in Japan running under a glacier 50 Suffixeferring r to molecules 40 Research center for steel with -C-C- applications 51 Amazon River Dolphin 41 ____ nobis, pacem pacem… 52 Islamic leadership position 42 Dueling sword 53 Oklahoma frat in recent news 44 Assemblies for Czar Nicholas 54 Celestial point sources of light II 55 March is out like a ____ 45 Irish script 46 Painless 48 City that encompasses the sixth through the ninth circles.

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MAYBE. ©2015 Frontier Communications Corporation. THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / FEATURES campustimes.org / PAGE 11 Mela showcases a fashion medley BY HIBA IQBAL Freshman Poonam Brar a eye-catching. It takes a lot of work According to junior Bollywood- eyeliner and cherry red lipstick. CONTRIBUTING WRITER member of the Bhangra Team and experience to tie the fabric style dancer Sukanya Roy, her Half of their hair was swept up in explained that “Bhangra is a into the correct pattern and make lengthy sequined skirt was flowing braided buns encircled by rings of BY CARINA WONG high-energy dance that is used it stay stiff so that the turlas are “so that with every spin it [would] white and red flowers. The white CONTRIBUTING WRITER take up the stage and [exaggerate] jasmine flowers are a trademark This past weekend, ADITI held the subtle hip movements.” hair accessory in India due to their its annual cultural celebration The glittering chains around sweet fragrance. Elaborate gold event, “Mela.” This year’s event her waist created the same effect. jewelry was the finishing touch. was of special importance Strapped to her ankles were a thin According to senior and because it marks ADITI’s 30th string of bells that are “usually Bharatanatyam dancer Amita anniversary. worn for classical dancing, meant Sampath, the “makeup is very The melodious live music, to add to the beat of the music so strong because there are a lot carried largely by the singers’ that people can hear you coming.” of [facial] expressions, and we masterful command of tone, was a welcome departure from the dominant voices we are so accustomed to in American music. The dancing was bold and powerful. Each dance had its own charm; some focused on subtly intricate hand movements while Raas members get ready for Mela. PHOTO COURTESY OF MARISA CAIOLA others were more energetic and full of motion. to celebrate the harvest and not flopping around on stage. All of the performances had happiness.” When it comes to how During backstage preparation, vibrant colors infused into the the dance is mainly structured, all the male Bhangra dancers were costumes, from scarlet and deep she says that “each person has a sitting with several people buzzing azure to sunny yellow and royal partner with a matching color around their heads, fussing with called ‘jodi,’ who you interact and the fabric. According to Brar, the purple. Bharatanatyam dancers wear anklets with bells. PHOTO COURTESY OF MARISA CAIOLA Different forms of dance flirt with.” tool of choice is hairspray “so that incorporate this plethora of High energy is no exaggeration it stays better.” The stiff turla in During the performances, these want those expressions to be vivid colors for several reasons. , seeing as how the dancers turn allows for the characteristic usages were immediately evident emphasized on stage.” According to sophomore squatted and jumped across the “head twitches to be more as the light constantly flickered off This year, the 30th MELA Priyanka Patel, captain of the stage an innumerable number of emphasized.” the dancers’ clothing, amplifying celebration did not fall short Raas Team, the lively costumes times. Though the performanceevery movement and giving them of its esteemed reputation, mirror the happiness stemming If the dancing were not taxing attire for each style of dance was greater command of the stage. offering an abundance of culture from the celebration of Navaratri, enough, the Bhangra dancers also unique, there was a key element Of course, no look is through dynamic, eye-catching “a festival of nine days and nine have their fair share of accessories that united them all. Many of the complete without makeup. The performances. nights” that honors all nine forms to handle during their difficult performers donned flowing fabric Bharatanatyam dancers were Iqbal is a member of of Hindu goddess Shakti, one for steps. strewn with sequins that helped sporting the heaviest look of the the class of 2017. each day. The men’s large intricate head emphasize the large sweeping event with a bindi on the center of Wong is a member of pieces, called turlas, are especially movements of their dances. their foreheads, dramatic cat-eye the class of 2017.

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300 Jay Street • Brooklyn, NY 11201 877.NYC.TECH WWW.CITYTECH.CUNY.EDU PAGE 12 / campustimes.org FEATURES / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 UR Tech: Solved Games BY LUCIAN COPELAND in very different ways. Given the strict conditions for the years, the repertoire of these a technology such as quantum STAFF WRITER Ultra-weak solutions each solution type, it’s been hotly games should not indicate that computing will be required determine whether a game will debated as to whether a solved the solving process is easy. before the game can ever be If you sit down and play a result in a win, loss, or tie given game can apply to systems that While a game of tic-tac-toe approached, although, he was virtual game of checkers on perfect play from both sides— contain a random element. can be solved on the playground, quick to note that if there was your computer, there’s a good contrary to the name, many Many solved games adhere even the weak solution to one thing he learned from his chance it’ll let you win. After mathematicians feel this is the to Zermelo’s theorem, which checkers took almost 17 years of work on checkers, it was “never all, computers aren’t very sore purest form of proof, given the states that any two-person turn continuous computing power to underestimate the advances in losers, and for poor hal9000- conceptual and algorithmic based game without chance or determine. technology.” light sitting on your desktop, the understanding they require to a tie condition must contain It has been speculated that Ultimately, chess may join more fun you have, the better it’s solve. a perfect strategy. But some some games will never be the ranks of tic-tac-toe in games performed. On the other hand, weak research teams have challenged solved simply due to their that have been predicted inside But it certainly didn’t need to solutions are defined for games that definition by claiming a overwhelming number of and out, never to be played lose. in which only one player makes statistical game can be solved possible moves—in the case of originally again. In fact, for some computers, they could make it impossible for you ever to win. No matter how many long years you devoted to the game, how many strategies you tried, you could even practice for centuries and still not win. In fact, it’s irrelevant how good you are; beating a sufficiently sophisticated computer at checkers has become mathematically impossible. Checkers was added in 2007 as the latest of a long series of “solved games.” These are games for which every possible game has been calculated until there are none left, and a conclusive way to either win or tie has been found for every scenario. The most simple example of a solved game is tic-tac-toe; you may have figured this out in your late childhood, as the appeal of the simple cross of Xs and Os disappeared once you figured out how to make every game a tie. Computers can do the same thing, but of course at many CHRISTIAN CIERI / ILLUSTRATOR billions of times the speed and thus have achieved the solutions perfect plays for every turn. simply through overcoming chess, while certain endgames But, in the meantime, you of games as comparatively Strong solutions include a the human element–a poker of seven pieces or less have been can take heart in the thought complex as Connect Four, Hex winning strategy for any stage robot named Cepheus has been solved, it’s possible that a strong that maybe, just maybe, the and Nine Men’s Morris. of the game regardless of prior claimed to have “essentially solution for the full game will next game you start will be one There are several hierarchies mistakes. weakly solved” Texas Hold ‘em, be impossible to achieve given that even the most powerful to solving games, however, that These latter solutions typically as opposing strategies have a the game’s 10^120 possible computers in the world have not segregate the form and method have no pure mathematical statistically negligible chance of variations in play. forseen. of the solution. Ultra-weak, solution and must be solved succeeding. Jonathan Schaeffer, who leads Copeland is a member of weak and strong solutions are all through the brute force of But despite the increasing the checkers project, predicted the class of 2015. very distinct and are approached computing power. number of solved systems over that a massive breakthrough in

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Email [email protected] for more information. THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / HUMOR campustimes.org / PAGE 13 HUMOR A letter from the Easter Bunny On cheesecake BY CHRIS HORGAN me some slack, it isn’t easy being the unhealthy chocolate into the eggs. “Bunny.” Would you like to guess Someone even suggested I put fruit, BY ERIK CHIODO good cheesecake. I don’t snack or HUMOR EDITOR how many horrible houses I had to like apples, in the eggs instead. That HUMOR EDITOR eat dessert often, but when I do, I With Easter quickly approaching, hide eggs in? To this day, I am still would be great if I had an infinite like to regret it. If I’m going to eat it’s that time of year again. traumatized by this one house that amount of apples. Apples don’t grow I’ve been thinking about unhealthily, I’m going to consume Recently, I have gotten some had two pet hawks. No matter how on trees, you know. Just be thankful I something lately…what is so a lot at one time. Cheesecake is accusations that I am, in fact, a fraud. well I sold the idea of a Twix or a Kit fill every egg with chocolate. Maybe funny about cheesecake? Nothing, heavy and filling. What makes They say that there’s a conflict of -Kat bar, I was the only thing they this year I’ll put out empty ones just really. I didn’t know what to write cheesecake great is that it is multi- interest in me delivering chocolate were willing to bite. And the crazy to teach everyone not to count their about for this week’s article, so faceted. Dealing with a breakup? to every house because I sold my soul chocolates before their eggs hatch. I asked for a random word. Eat cheesecake. Failed a test? Grab to the corporate market by allowing The rabbit pranks back. But I won’t, Sophomore Dani Douglas said, a slice of cheesecake. Passed a test? myself to be the poster-bunny for because I don’t want a bunch of hate “Cheesecake.” So, that is what Celebrate with some cheesecake. Hershey’s. The accusation being that mail like last year. I’m going to write about. I always There are so many situations where I’m not scientifically possible. As of I am still recovering from this found it odd how cheesecake cheesecake is relevant. Whether late, people have even criticized my scathing letter I got from a family came about. Many people believe you are sad, mad, happy or glad, performance, going as far as taunting complaining that I forgot their that for most new things that are cheesecake is there. Whether you me. You know how people leave house. There’s a good explanation created, they happen as a result are mourning the death of your carrots and cookies for Santa and his for that. I was strolling through the of minor, seemingly insignificant gerbil or commemorating George reindeer? A couple of wise-crackers woods when Yogi Bear stole my errors. I wonder how cheesecake Bush’s contributions to the World left me Trix cereal. That stuff’s for supplies. I apologize, you were the was invented. A typical cheesecake Peace Movement, cheesecake. kids. I’m a grown bunny. Maybe last home I had to visit. It was a life consists of cheese, eggs and sugar What else can I say about you could leave cat repellant or a lesson learned. Now I’ll never put with a base made from either cheesecake? Glad you asked. pastry or sponge cake. As far as Remember in health class when couple more baskets. Nevertheless, LIZ BESON / SENIOR STAFF all of my eggs in one basket. I’m not a fraud, and I think I should So, please take a leap of faith the toppings, the possibilities are your teacher would show you be treated just as nicely as Santa and people. I can’t take the crazy people, without jumping too far to a endless. Fruit, whipped cream, the food pyramid? I’ve always his reindeer, so let’s hop right to it. like Elmer Fudd for example. Elmer conclusion. I’m the Easter Bunny, I nuts, chocolate syrup you name thought that it was extremely Sure, last year was a tough year. Fudd moves to a different house do exist and I’m not going anywhere it. Just put it on cheesecake, and flawed. How do you expect I’m a bunny, we have our ups every year, then sits and waits in anytime soon, except on Easter, odds are it’s going to taste amazing. people to constantly maintain and downs; that’s how we move. his living room for me. Then there’s to every house in the world. And But, back to my original thought. I those suggested proportions? There was about a foot of snow on the people who try to take my foot even if I wanted to quit my day could see the first cheesecake being Depending on the situation, the the ground last time, and people and make it into a necklace for good job, I couldn’t. I do all of my work made as a practical joke. pyramid should be able to change. requested afterwards that I should luck. They got my great grandpa’s at night; and I wouldn’t mind Imagine, a guy has the urge to For example, you break up with have just brought hot cocoa instead. foot a couple of decades ago. I’ll tell being rewarded here and there. play a prank on his friend. His your girlfriend or boyfriend and They say hindsight is 20/20, but I you what, my great grandpa would Hopefully, your compassion will friend loves cake. So, he decides are a complete mess. You’re telling don’t even have foresight. I only have have been much luckier if he had help you understand my struggles. to bake a cake where the filling me that I have to make sure to eat peripheral vision. Did you know that foot while trying to hobble way And from this new understanding, is made of cheese instead of the my veggies and fruits for that day? that I have to stand sideways when from Elmer Fudd. And cats always I would really appreciate some signs typical vanilla sponge. Everybody Forget that! I would rather binge- arguing with someone just so that lock their teeth into my feet. I hate of gratification…or at least a few in on the prank is sitting at a eat some freakin’ cheesecake, we can see eye to eye? that. I may be a magical creature, but fewer complaints. table, or wherever people back in watch “Project Runway” and feel So yes, I’ll admit it, I could have I can’t just pull myself out of a cat. Horgan is a member of the day ate their cakes, and they better, than eat fruits and veggies done a better job last year. But cut I was also criticized for putting the class of 2017. present him the cake. He takes and sit in a corner bawling my eyes a bite and looks up in shock. out. The choice is obvious. I guess Everybody looks at him awaiting what I’m trying to get at is that the his response. He exclaims, “this food pyramid recommended by Ficticious letter from stranded man is the best thing I have ever the government does not account tasted.” Everybody proceeds to for people’s emotional states. I BY CHRIS HORGAN water. Go back to sleep. know that being stranded in the take bites of this creation. The personally believe that, in times HUMOR EDITOR Wednesday-Saturday: Wake up. middle of the Atlantic is terrible. prank backfired, but an amazing of crisis and struggle, cheesecake Look at the water. Go back to sleep. It’s hard to believe that just a year thing was created in the process. should represent at least 70% of Dear anyone who can help me, I actually don’t know what day ago my friend asked me to watch Honestly, who thinks to mix people’s diets. For those of you who read my it is or even the time. Some people “Twilight,” and I responded by cheese, eggs and sugar together With the knowledge that I’ve last letter, this week marks the first look at the sun and can tell that saying that I’d rather be lost at sea. and then bake it in an oven? As generously bestowed upon you year since someone replied to it. it’s noon, or a quarter past three; I guess the biggest concern I have an editor for the humor section, while you read this, the only Thank you to the one person who I look up at it, and all I get is that out here by myself is dying. To we are required to make sure the natural thing to do is find your responded by putting a response it’s daytime. keep my hopes up, I like to think pages are filled, so please excuse nearest cheesecake provider and back into the bottle and throwing I saw Chris Pratt yesterday. Chris of myself as a protagonist in a great me for the incoherent babble that grab a slice. it into the ocean with the hope Evans too. They looked really nice literary classic. Like John Proctor is about to ensue. Chiodo is a member of that it would float to me. It did. in the GQ magazine I found in in “The Crucible,” or Lennie from I’m the type of guy that likes a the class of 2017. So,thank you. For the past year, I’ve my supplies backpack. My stupid “Of Mice and Men,” or even managed to write a few thoughts iPod’s been stuck on “Float On” by Hamlet from...I can’t remember down on this piece of paper, which Modest Mouse for the past week. the play. will eventually land on shore in the I have started to lose my mind. I am sorry to say that I have On squirrels bottle that I placed it in. I asked a salmon for dinner about completely lost faith. Faith was BY ERIK CHIODO process of squirrels. I’d like to begin by filling you a month ago, and it declined. a little goldfish that I caught but HUMOR EDITOR The first time I saw a squirrel, I in on what I’ve been doing for the And you know what, I didn’t somehow dropped off the side of thought it was a type of dog. My past year while being stranded in care. There are tons of other fish my boat. I’d say I was innocent, but While walking to class, have parents would freak out when I tried the Atlantic. My schedule looks in the sea. Being by yourself for I don’t have any ground to stand on. you ever noticed the squirrels to pet squirrels. There was this one something like this: an extended period of time has Sincerely, meandering around? Since I was a squirrel in particular that I tried to Monday: Wake up. Look at the taught me one lesson. That being Herman little kid, I have also wondered what befriend as a young kid. water. Go back to sleep. said, I didn’t need to be stranded Horgan is a member of it would like to be a squirrel. How It was the summer of ’99. I was six Tuesday: Wake up. Look at the in the middle of the Atlantic to the class of 2017. do they communicate? Where do years old. I had no friends. I decided squirrels live? Do they have small to make some friends. One day, I bartering economies where they was walking to my neighbor’s house Business ideas that didn’t work trade nuts for sticks or vice versa? down the street when something Squirrels always look like they are caught my eye: a squirrel staring BY CHRIS HORGAN 4. Brutus attempted to open a eventually lost her head. up to no good. Whenever you walk straight at me. Naturally, I tried to HUMOR EDITOR massage therapy center. His fatal 7. Elvis Presley went on some near them, they stare at you and engage in a conversation with the mistake? Advertising it with the dangerous missions as a CIA agent remain as still as possible. Once they little critter. He didn’t respond. I 1. Andrew Carnegie planned slogan, “I’ve got your back.” but could never escape because his are under the impression that you’ve pulled some goldfish snacks out of to come out with a steel-themed 5. Sticking with the Romans, departure was always announced. acknowledged their presence, they my pocket and extended my hand monopoly game but just decided Julius Caesar attempted to start 10. Charles Darwin created a run away. Where do they go when toward him. He accepted the offer. to do it in real life instead. a home development business similar game to Pokémon in which winter rolls around? Do they burrow I named him Goldfish. Everyday 2. A kissing booth featuring but lost all of his clients after the trainer could evolve too, just to underground? Do they hide in the for the rest of the summer, I walked Judas. they realized he couldn’t build it keep things consistent. However, trees? How do they divvy up the down the street to feed Goldfish 3. Shaquille O’Neal opened up in one day. this idea never took off. labor? I feel as though we are closer goldfish. a photography studio but could 6. Marie Antoinette tried Horgan is a member of to understanding extraterrestrial life Chiodo is a member of never take a good shot. running her own bakery, but she the class of 2017. than understanding the thought- the class of 2017. PAGE 14 / campustimes.org HUMOR / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 Poking fun at the news Dear Chris:Common problems solved BY CHRIS HORGAN But, sadly for them, not edible BY CHRIS HORGAN I am afraid not. But, you should Chris: This is a tricky scenario, so I HUMOR EDITOR ones. HUMOR EDITOR see this skill as a gift. You should actually had to do some research on 6. Director of Google’s self- try golf. this one. As it turns out, according 1. A Nevada bill that would driving car project Chris Urmson Dear Chris: I spend all day doing Dear Chris: There’s a “Dear Chris” to a few reports, attending RIT allow sick pets to use medical is ensuring that self-driving cars work and, every night when I get column in my school’s paper, and, would significantly reduce your marijuana is being introduced will be on roads by 2020. into my bed, right as I close my no offense, Chris gives terrible, chances of graduating from UR. in the state legislature. This comes much sooner than eyes, I can’t help but hear a rhythmic useless and unusable advice. Can If you are really 50-50, you could Said one contemplative pet Earth’s goal to have self-dependent pounding coming from the room I fix this? always try flipping a coin. Heads chicken to another, “Well, we’re humans by 2045. above me. I hear grunts, and for -Please help, Flustered you attend UR; tails you don’t gonna be baked anyways.” 7. Last week, America the life of me I can’t figure out what Chris: I think the first thing you attend RIT. Also, one thing that 2. A man in Pennsylvania celebrated St. Patrick’s Day, they’re doing or how to stop it. should do for this writer, Chris, is makes UR different from a lot of attempted rolling in dog waste where millions of Americans, -From, Restless to try to get in touch with him. schools is its Rochester location, so to avoid arrest. no matter their background, Chris: Ah! They’re probably just This could be with an email, a you should take this into account The plan failed. relieve the stress of life by coming dribbling a basketball around or letter or even confronting Chris in when picking between the two 3. A new study predicts that together and getting wasted at practicing their tennis grunts. his column. I think if you pointed schools. the maximum life expectancy for bars. Basketball and tennis are things out his inadequacy in the form of a Dear Chris: I found someone’s life on Earth is 7.5 billion years. Less commonly referred to as that young adults do, so don’t question, there would be absolutely wallet full of money and a driver’s Or at least until Netflix shuts “college.” be frustrated. However, playing no chance he could overlook or license on the ground today, what 8. A group of scientists tennis indoors could get dangerous. misinterpret your criticism, unless should I do with it? observed deer consuming other Maybe slip an informational he is a completely incompetent -Sincerely, Huckle Buckle Beanstalk deer. pamphlet about the game of tennis fool. Chris: For one, don’t message them Finally, giving deer a taste of to ensure the people in the room Dear Chris: I am a senior in high on Facebook or email them, that’ll their own venison. above you practice safe sets. school, and currently my choices be what they’re expecting. It’s too 9. A toddler in Pennsylvania Dear Chris: Tests always remind for schools have been narrowed predictable. Right now, you have was revived in a near-drowning me that no matter what I do, I get down to UR and RIT. I envision the upper hand, and you don’t experience after an hour and the lowest result. Is there anything completing my undergrad at UR, want to lose it. forty-one minutes of CPR. I can do to change this? but RIT seems to be just as enticing. Horgan is a member of After 100 minutes of intense -Yours truly, Hopeless -Thank you, Unsure the class of 2017. stress, doctors and the toddler

LIZ BESON / SENIOR STAFF were finally able to stop holding down. their breath. 4. Due to dried-up wells, a 10. During the SXSW festival man in California has looked in Austin, Texas, “Ex Machina” into developing his own system movie marketers created a fake, in which he just manually fills robot Tinder profile with the 3,000 gallon tanks with water name of a woman named Ava, from a spout. causing many users to swipe Whether or not people like it, right. he’s going to get the benefit of “I guess I got suspicious when the spout. she told me that her celebrity crush 5. A new study suggests that was the Iron Man costume, not children who lead inactive lives Robert Downey Jr.,” said one user. are likely to become middle-aged Horgan is a member of couch potatoes. the class of 2017. Declaring your major BY NATE KUHRT who make decisions in cartoons STAFF WRITER haven’t appeared yet, so tough decisions are a predicament. With It’s that time of year again. that in mind, if you are between The squirrels are frolicking, two majors, I like to think that the brown water of our lovely the angel will at least have the Genesee is flowing in full force, power to make a coin land on the the Quidditch team has returned correct side. I personally guarantee to practice during normally that this method will set you on inconvenient hours for everyone the right path 100% of 50% of else in Fauver; oh, and the the time! school is hounding freshmen A second strategy is to consider and sophomores to declare what the jokes on the department t-shirts they will pursue for the rest of or within the field as a whole. their college careers. For some of Although most of us will probably you (the ones who have their life work in a field somewhat different JUSTIN FRAUMENI / ONLINE EDITOR figured out), these next 10 days than our major, you still have, at prior to declaring one’s major minimum, two years to capitalize OVERLOADING will be a relaxing time in between on the same pun with every new You’re gonna need that Tuesday/Thursday Yoga. midterms and finals where spring face you meet. I’ve been wearing and the balmy 50 degree weather my, “Never trust an atom, they can be enjoyed to its fullest with make up everything!” t-shirt for more studying, but this time, on years, and every new person I meet Humor editor intervention: the porch of Rush Rhees. Others, finds it funny for at least the first on the other hand, are rather two days I wear it. Horgan needs to contribute unsure. They typically answer A third and final strategy is to every question from parents delay the inevitable and push it BY CHRIS HORGAN Chiodo turned to the use of statistics get published; humor holds a higher about the topic with a swift, “I back another semester. I heard the NON-CONTRIBUTING EDITOR and logic to further develop his standard than that.” just don’t know what to declare, school might buzz a bit about it and argument, saying, “if you disregard Both humor editors, despite Mom and Dad! UR has too many send you some emails that can sting, This past Monday, humor editor and don’t count all of the articles recent lame-duck accusations, opportunities, and I feel like but, if it’s the option for you, no one and sophomore Erik Chiodo [Horgan’s] written in the past, then continue to defend their tactics, declaring too early, like when you will blame you. They may change ‘17 sat down with fellow humor it is clear that [Horgan] does not regardless of their criticisms of are supposed to, would limit me!” your years to a grade below but who editor Chris Horgan ‘17 to hold an contribute.” themselves. After all, it is this A similar response coincides knows? Maybe the younger year intervention. During the meeting, Horgan then responded by resilience that has solidified the when asked about why I don’t is a bit slower to claiming the free Chiodo didn’t hold any feelings back, claiming that he can’t brainstorm editors’ section as one of the best have a girlfriend, but I think they t-shirts that I always arrive late to. immediately accusing Horgan of anything, to which Chiodo in the paper. figured out that one is a lie. Either Good luck with this possibly “not writing enough for the section.” suggested writing an article about “We worked diligently to be way, here are a few strategies to crucial decision, and I hope to see “I like to think that I’m one with the intervention and the lack of one of the top six sections in the figure out how to declare your you with those stickers that I think the student body, so if any students contributions. paper and the top humor section; major. the school tries to use to encourage contribute, I am contributing too, “Writing an article about the rankings speak for themselves,” First off, flipping a coin never us to declare. in a sense,” Horgan stated. the intervention or the lack of Horgan concluded. hurts. If you are like me, the angel Kuhrt is a member of After Horgan seemed to contributions would be a dumb Horgan is a member of and the devil on your shoulder the class of 2017. misinterpret Chiodo’s intent, idea,” Horgan noted. “It wouldn’t the class of 2017. THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / A&E campustimes.org / PAGE 15 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT One-Act Play Festival showcases diverse talent

BY JEFF HOWARD strange to downright horrifying A&E EDITOR as cattle prods, chainsaws and blood-curdling screams entered From Friday, March 20 a scenario which was all too real to Sunday March 22, Todd to be a nightmare. Union’s annual one-act play Arguably one of the highlights showcase featured four short of the night was the play plays, each directed and written “Buyer,” directed by sophomore by UR students. Aishwarya Krishnamoorthy and The plays ranged fromwritten by graduate student comical to poignant to Karl Smith. The play focused downright disturbing, bringing on “The Buyer,” a devil figure out the best of UR student played by senior Leah Mould. actors and writers. “The Buyer” saw clients and The first play, “Oneoffered to solve any problem CHI HUANG / STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Night Stand,” followed the they had—for a price. The UR CELTIC CELEBRATES ST. PATRICK'S DAY WITH DANCE interactions between a guy and main focus of the play was on On Saturday, March 21, UR Celtic put on its annual St. Patrick’s Day Show in the May Room. a girl who met at a college party two of “The Buyer”’s particular The show featured traditional irish dance. and ended up sleeping together. clients–a lost girl who just The play, directed by sophomore wanted to help others, and Simranjit Kaur Grewal and a devoted mother who just written by freshman Emily lost her son in a motorcycle ‘I’ll Be Your Pilot Today:’ Scarpulla, was creative and accident. The Buyer followed engaging. Junior Lena Jenny through on her promise to and sophomore Edwin Aguila make her client’s problems go ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ played the consciences of Janie, away–but she created newfound played by sophomore Emma suffering in the process. Just like lodging with a gay street performer have yet to show an ounce of BY SAM GILBOARD Walsh, and Nate, played by Sidney captured lunacy, “The named Titus Andromedon, individualism from his nitwit alter senior Michael Mayor. While Buyer “captured pure evil with STAFF WRITER played with strangely intriguing ego, Charlie, on “Always Sunny.” at times the expletive-heavy her cackling laugh and knack frustration by Tituss Burgess. Still, like her curious secretary on dialogue felt like a corny over- for persuasion. Remember when Ellie Kemper Titus, who had his dreams of “The Office,” Kemper’s Kimmy is simplification of how college The last play of the night, played mousy, naïve Erin Hannon performing on Broadway crushed painfully optimistic. One cannot kids speak, the play grippingly “The Misery of Time’s Will,” on “The Office?” Having when he arrived in the Big Apple, help but laugh, however, at the portrayed the confusion and was the most serious of the succumbed to the terrible plague now resides in the basement of reactions Kimmy has to everyday heartbreak of young love. four. Directed by sophomore of typecasting, Kemper now an apartment building and faces things. She marvels at her new In addition, the play used Murie Gillett and written plays the exact same mousy, naïve eviction. Together, the unlikely bedroom, essentially a closet, its minimal stage props to by sophomore Saad Usmani, woman as the titular character in duo attempt to keep a roof over because all she has ever known effectively recreate the feeling the play followed the story of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.” their heads, is the compartmentalized life of being at a college party. As Farah, played by senior Gouri Despite being a product of of a bunker. Still, observational it began the lights dimmed a Mahadwar and her son Ali, Tina Fey, whose previous show, comedy of this sort has a life purple glow, Flo-Rida bumped played by sophomore Rahul “30 Rock,” seems destined to expectancy rate far shorter than in the background and the Manay. be her greatest achievement, the thirteen-episode season, actors held on to their red solo In Roshni’s world, her son “Unbreakable Kimmy which means Kimmy’s eventual cups. When the play ended and had died in a Taliban raid. Schmidt” is rough around adjustment to her new Nate woke up in bed alone, However, in reality Ali was the edges in the pilot. world will surely slash melancholy pop music played captured by the Taliban and What can you expect the laughs in half. him out as he bent over with turned into one of their soldiers. though when the Set aside the weight of a broken heart. The play offered a humanizing show is only the comedic He didn’t say a word from this and heartbreaking perspective available for shortcomings and point on, but he didn’t have to: on how Muslim youth turn to streaming you still have a the audience felt his pain. religious extremism. The most on Netflix powerful social The next play, “Sweet,” took poignant part of the play was amidst the commentary. a turn for the weird. The act, its climax, where Ali was shot ranks of The “moledirected by sophomore Jordan by a police officer in his own “House of women” Polycn-Evans and written by home, with his mother by his Cards” and have been junior Jahnavi Iyer, followed side. As Ali lay in his mother’s the hotly subjugated to a Reese, played by freshman Ari arms, Roshni was faced with the anticipated life of guilt and Geller. Reese was prepared immense grief and conflict of “Bloodline”? subservience. for a normal date at the home being reunited with a son who The pilot Upon their of his love Alex, played by has turned to darkness, but she episode begins rescue, they sophomore Julianne McAdams. was unquivering in her love for in a bomb are paid off by However, the situation quickly her son. In a time where the shelter where four the government became unsettling as Reese was media is saturated with news of women, Kemper to return to their held hostage in Alex’s house by terrorist extremism, “Misery” included, have been normal lives. Kimmy is an escaped mental patient and challenged its audience to stashed away by their the anomaly who decides his psychotic sidekick. While it view the issue from a different cult leader for fifteen years. to catch up on the last fifteen wasn’t a very surreal show, it was perspective. They have been conditioned years without the support of the certainly uncomfortable. Senior Overall, the one-act plays to believe that the world has only family she can remember. Rachael O’Neil, played Sidney, were tremendously diverse, erupted into madness, and that CHRISTIAN CIERI / ILLUSTRATOR She’s been battered, and she’s held one of Reese’s captors, and did engaging and well-thought out. humanity “caused it with [their] as well as money in their pockets. some seriously gross rodents by an excellent job of acting like a TOOP’s next production, dumbness.” Upon their rescue, Poor Ms. Kemper now finds the neck, but she is unbreakable. convincing psychopath. Each “Blithe Spirit,” premieres at the “mole women” are thrown herself in that lucrative yet Given the rise of strong female time Sidney’s smile got tighter Drama House Thursday, March into the national spotlight. After eternally underdeveloped pool of leads in the media today, Kimmy and tighter, and she yelled at 26 at 8 p.m. If the one-act plays a heartless interview with Matt talent that continuously returns to Schmidt may not break the mold, Reese not to swear, she felt less were any indication, it’s going Lauer on “The Today Show,” the the same roles. Charlie Day of “It’s but she fits right in. like a character and more like to be one hell of a show. pilot’s funniest moment, Kimmy Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Gilboard is a member of a genuine crazy person. As a Howard is a member of (Kemper), decides to remain in fame can be the first to illustrate the class of 2015. whole though, things went from the class of 2017. New York City. Kimmy finds its effects. His characters in film PAGE 16 / campustimes.org A&E / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 On ‘To Pimp a Butterfly,’ Kendrick Lamar stomps out the ‘sophomore slump’ BY JUSTIN TROMBLY to date as well as a versatility his abilities. Laced with internal it panicked at least a few fans perspective, he’s answered only OPINIONS EDITOR unmatched by any popular rhyme and enjambment, the still holding out hope that Los with silence. “Pac? Pac? Pac?!” rapper in recent memory. song sees Kendrick taking Angeles’ finest might return he cries. It’s a powerful ending On the evening of March “For Free?” finds K. Dot on yet another inflection, from the grave. to an album that provokes more 15, a friend from high school spitting like an auctioneer sounding like a humbled Kendrick lays out his vision questions than it answers. messaged me on Facebook. hyped up on amphetamines teen. The coming-home vibe at the end of this conversation, “To Pimp a Butterfly” is “Justin.” over a chaotic jazz orchestra, is furthered by the drums on sharing another poem with sweeping. It is sonically and “Jake.” punctuating his rapid-fire,this track, which, with their his idol. With an extended thematically rich, revealing “To Pimp a Butterfly.” scatty rhymes with the ever- clangy, metallic feel, sound like metaphor about the “caterpillar” new ideas and details with each Suddenly, my plans to get entertaining “this dick ain’t a toddler banging on pots and and the “butterfly,” Kendrick listen. While it has and certainly to sleep early that night didn’t freee!” It’s hilarious and topical, pans in the kitchen. explains his project’s title as well will continue to polarize fans, matter. I had been waiting for moving from addressing “Butterfly” also features a as its overarching message—of I have no doubt that this will this moment for nearly two relationship woes to invoking host of heavy themes, primarily being blind, breaking free of go down as one of the most and a half years. The release of themes of commercial dealing with being black in the prison of circumstance, significant and visionary rap Kendrick Lamar’s follow-up corruption and race. America. Its method of in(tro) recognizing the greatness within albums in history. In a word, it to 2012’s “good kid, m.A.A.d On “u,” the counterpoint to spection relies on framing issues us all and showing others the is a masterpiece. city,” hip-hop’s last classic the pre-released single about faced by blacks, both in and path to enlightenment. But Trombly is a member of album, had come. “To Pimp a self-love “i,” we find Kendrick outside of their communities, when Kendrick asks 2Pac for his the class of 2018. Butterfly” was here. screaming, locked in a hotel by looking at Kendrick himself. What ensued was an all- room, crying out “loving you In his narrative of dealing with night affair: the download, the is complicated” before tearing fame and its consequences, wait and, at last, the listen. himself apart. His voice is we’re able to gain insights on And what a listen it was. pained, cracking at times, and some of the most profound but At first, I didn’t know how the self-hatred is even more overlooked issues of our time: to react to this album. It was palpable when coupled with the hypocrisy in both governments dense. It was layered. It was dark, bass-heavy instrumental. and ghettos, institutionalized overwhelming. It was unlike The song takes a turn for the racism, police violence, gang anything I’d ever heard Lamar worse with a beat change. violence and exploitation. do before. I tried taking notes; We hear a maid knocking at Kendrick’s black culture tried reading along with the Kendrick’s door as airy vocals manifesto—his celebrations lyrics. But, at a certain point, creep in the background. The and condemnations—reveals I couldn’t keep up. I had to transition between the two itself in full on the album’s let the music take control. halves, in which the beat cuts in final track, “Mortal Man.” And with Kendrick behind and out and shifts from ear to After comparing himself to the wheel, any doubts that I ear, is unsettling, but nothing legendary social leaders, the might’ve had about how he compared to Kendrick’s second- song ends, and Kendrick reads could top his last album were half delivery. Here, backed by in full a spoken-word poem left crawling around on the melancholy horns, he sobs, that had been delivered in bits pavement, dying in his tire his voice raw and wallowing. throughout the album. Affixed tracks. “You even Facetimed instead to the end of almost every song Peace Corps “To Pimp a Butterfly” is a of a hospital visit...Then he on the album is Kendrick’s Visits University of Rochester grandiose exercise in music; died, God himself will say poem; with each song comes while Kendrick is a rapper ‘you fucking failed,’” he weeps, the addition of new lines, each Stories from the Field by trade—or a “writer,” as blaming himself for neglecting foreshadowing the themes of he calls himself—this album his friends and family. And the next. The poem tells the Choose where you want to go. Apply in one hour. transcends typical hip-hop when he interrupts his tirade story of his transformation. It’s Make a difference overseas as a Peace Corps Volunteer. trends. “Butterfly” is a lush, to take a gulp from a liquor a unique element that helps seamless collage, taking cues bottle, the sounds of the liquid bring an edge of cohesion to Thursday, April 2 | 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. from funk, soul and jazz, swishing and the glass clinking what is often a manic album. Goergen 108 stirring them up into a sonic cutting into the beat, the song What follows next is a fusion all tied together by is all the more potent. conversation with none other hip-hop. This isn’t to say that “Momma,” a song about than 2Pac. It sounds organic, Peace Corps returning home to find solace, and, given the relative obscurity this type of thing hasn’t been peacecorps.gov - 855.855.1961 done before; hip-hop has a sticks out as another example of of the source audio, I’m sure history of being influenced by these genres. But this album completely eschews every recent sound in rap music: there are no glistening DJ Mustard hits, no club “bangers.” Instead, Kendrick offers us a soundscape reminiscent of an older age of music to complement his rhymes. Horns flare. Basslines bubble. Saxes, synths and snares pull together sounds ranging from G-funk First four-week session: May 18 - June 15 CHOOSE FROM With four different sessions and over to free jazz. “King Kunta” is First six-week session: May 18 - June 26 100 classes to choose from, you can a foot-tapping, head bobbing Second four-week session: June 29 - July 27 earn up to 12 credits over the summer. funk anthem; “The Blacker the Second six-week session: June 29 - August 7 Take advantage of summer’s small Berry” features a brutal boom- four class sizes while enjoying more one- bap beat; “Institutionalized” is on-one time with faculty, all at a a spacey, jazzy affair. Despite If you need help determining which courses are discounted tuition rate. right for you please contact the Office of Summer SesSions its classic influences, it still Programs and Part-Time Studies at osp@ to fit any schedule! sounds fresh, mostly because rochester.edu or call (585) 275-2345. To set up of Kendrick’s elastic voice, an appointment to speak with an advisor, please various characters, insightful contact the Center for Advising Services at (585) #rochestersummer storytelling, provocative 275-2354. themes and arsenal of flows. Sign-up for the Summer Sessions On this album, Kendrick’s To view the most up-to-date course list and CONNECT newsletter for up-to-date information capabilities as an emcee to learn how to register please visit us at: on summer opportunities, course are unrivaled by his www.rochester.edu/college/osp/summer/ offerings, events and activities at registration. rochester.edu/summer contemporaries. While he’s WITH US always been known as a top- tier rapper, he is at his artistic best on "Butterfly," displaying his sharpest technical skills WWW.ROCHESTER.EDU/SUMMER THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / A&E campustimes.org / PAGE 17 CT write about art and/or entertainment. RECOMMENDS join the campus times. 2994 – “CTCAR” BY JEFF HOWARD email [email protected] A&E EDITOR 2994 is the first band from the future. According to the 5 Reasons Why You group’s tumblr page, they traveled back in time from the year 2994, wanted to live in 2004, but got stuck in 2015. Now, Should Store With they need our help. 2994 is composed of three rappers— Temet Nosce, Shyboy and Catullus++. Only two of the band’s three members are people—Catullus++ is a Toshiba laptop. This is all a little outlandish, but not so far fetched for internet culture these days. Internet artists such as Nok from the Future and Blank Banshee are hiding their faces behind metallic masks and riding on catch phrases like “I quit real life.” All things considered, 2994 isn’t making headlines with its quirk, especially considering the band has just one song and Rochester College it’s not on Souncloud. This is unfortunate, because 2994’s one song is really, really good. STORAGE The band’s lone track, cryptically titled “CTCAR”, has just over 1,000 views on YouTube. Its music video is a cyber-collage WWW.ROCHESTERCOLLEGESTORAGE.COM of crumbling colisea, AIM windows and Google Image results for the phrase “concept car,” over which Temet Nosce and Shyboy joyride through the city on a golf cart. While the video draws from the Yung Lean and Sadboys aesthetic (see Yung • Free dorm pickup and delivery Lean’s “Hurt” music video), 2994’s sound taps into something new and remarkably poignant. On “CTCAR”, Temet and Shyboy rap over a brittle trap beat with celestial synth chords. • Boxes, tape, and packing materials included While the beat sounds like it was made on Fruity Loops, Temet and Shyboy are a different story—their voices are autotuned to the point of sounding alien, making it hard to make out • Only pay for the items that you store most of what they’re saying. It doesn’t matter, though—their grotesque voices drip with the sorrow of two acid-drenched humanoid souls, and through the quasi-incoherence they say • One time payment - no monthly fees what words can’t. When the group’s words can be deciphered, they’re puzzling—take Shyboy’s line “I don’t smoke / I don’t • Your parents will appreciate you more! fuck / I don’t drunk / I don’t move”—and they surely hurt. To listen to “CTCAR,” look up “2994 band” on YouTube. Howard is a member of the class of 2017. Reserve today before it’s too late! Sign up by April 15th and get 5% off! Use promo code AD15 WWW.ROCHESTERCOLLEGESTORAGE.COM CATERING! Step into Summer PARTY PLATTERS @ BOX LUNCHES Lots of Online choices! Accounting Human Services PARTY SUBS Art Information Literacy Biology Math • Accelerate your degree. Business Music • Fullfill a requirement. Chemistry Police Basic Training • Lighten your Fall course load. Communications Psychology Criminal Justice Sign Language Two Convenient & Affordable Earth Science Sociology Summer Sessions: Economics Spanish Education Theater May 18 - June 29 English Veterinary Technology French ... and many Internship July 6 - August 13 Geology opportunities SERIOUS DELIVERY!TM History ★ ★ JIMMYJOHNS.COM It’s Easy to Register now! 1-800-724-0833 x 5075 TO FIND THE LOCATION NEAREST [email protected] YOU VISIT JIMMYJOHNS.COM Only $159 per credit Visa, Mastercard and Discover accepted. sunyulster.edu/summer ©2014 JIMMY JOHN’S FRANCHISE, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

U of Rochester 6.06” x 7” PAGE 18 / campustimes.org SPORTS / THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 March Madness: Breaking down the Sweet Sixteen BY JESSE BERNSTEIN remaining in the does not appear to be messing Mike Brey is going to have to STAFF WRITER field. However, around. If this team can use work hard to hide this team’s they’ve beaten their superior athleticism to its defensive shortcomings, though. March Madness is in full swing, Dayton and advantage, it’ll be a good game, 4. Arizona—They can go people. One-seeds and two-seeds Albany—not but if Wisconsin can use that pound-for-pound with the blue have gone down, controversial exactly what advantage against the Tar Heels (as bloods, talent wise, but I just calls have been made and “One you would call they’re wont to do), it’s going to think this team has a tendency to Shining Moment” is shaping “powerhouses.” be a long day for North Carolina. choke. Sean Miller is one of the up to be as wonderful as ever. This team7. Wichita State—I make a best coaches in the country, but In the meantime, let’s take a remains solemn oath to you, readers, not his teams have had tendencies look at the sixteen remaining a bit of a to make a single “shocker” pun to underachieve. We shall see. teams and reseed them. question mark. here. Truthfully, I don’t think one 3.Wisconsin—Frank Kaminsky 16. UCLA—Everyone in 10. Utah— even needs to be made—this team might be the best player in the Westwood should be thanking This team will was great last year, and most of the tournament, and Bo Ryan might their lucky stars that they’re still CHRISIAN CIERI / ILLUSTRATOR live and die by core came back. Tekele Cotton, be the best coach. That’s a good in the tournament. After sneaking Delon Wright, Fred Van Fleet, Ron Baker—this is combination, and they’ve been into the tournament, UCLA got who has really separated a strong, strong team, and, if they annihilating teams left and right, a questionable goaltending call about it for the Musketeers, and himself from the pack as one of can stay consistent, they might be but if Traveon Jackson isn’t at in their favor on a last-second I don’t really see them advancing the best guards in the country. looking at another Final Four run. full capacity, it leaves some big Bryce Alford three-pointer, and, past Arizona this weekend. The Ute’s defense is positively 6. Gonzaga—Kyle Wiltjer question marks for this team. after shellacking 14-seed UAB 13. West Virginia—Bob stingy, but if Wright isn’t on, might be one of the best players 2. Duke—This. Team. Is. in the second round, the not- Huggins’ squad beat out a the offense struggles. If he in whole tournament, and this Insane. Jahlil Okafor, Tyus Jones, supposed-to-be-here Bruins strong Maryland team this past stays hot, this is another team is a damn strong team, but they Justise Winslow, Quinn Cook… find themselves in the Sweet 16. weekend, but, unfortunately, that could make a serious run. haven’t faced a really tough even Grayson Allen got in on the 15. Louisville—After barely they now face the Kentucky 9. Michigan State—Every year, competitor just yet. I don’t think action against San Diego State. squeaking by UC Irvine, Rick Wildcats. As talented as this there’s one thing that we have they’ll have too much trouble Mike Krzyzewski has done more Pitino’s squad drew a great team is, they’re nowhere near to be reminded: Tom Izzo is a with UCLA, but if they draw with less talented teams, and the matchup in Northern Iowa, that level. It’s been fun, guys. magician. In beating a very strong and beat Duke, then we’ll know Blue Devils could very well find and Montrezl Harrel and Co. 12. NC State—I have a lot Virginia team for the second year if they can really win this thing. themselves in the Final Four. responded accordingly. However, of faith in this team. They’ve in a row—behind a masterful 5. Notre Dame—First of all, 1. Kentucky—Let’s get this I’m not convinced this team beaten both Duke and Villanova performance from Travis this is the best offense Notre straight. Kentucky is going to win can play at the requisite high- this season, and they seem to Trice—the Spartans proved to Dame has had in years. Jerian this tournament. This team is too level needed for the rest of be peaking at just the right everyone once again that they’re Grant is an absolute stud, talented, too big and too strong for tournament, largely owing to time. A date with Louisville absolutely a threat and are likely and if he’s on, this team looks anybody to beat it. Hate on them the dismissal of Chris Jones. looms, but I think they’ve got to make it out of their region. absolutely unstoppable. Though all you want, but they are headed 14. Xavier—This is athe right stuff to make a run. 8. North Carolina—Paige, their tournament competition straight for an undefeated season tough, tough team, and 11.Oklahoma—Buddy Hield Tokoto, Williams are a formidable hasn’t been super strong, they and a national championship. they’re consistently solid. is a special player, and Oklahoma trio, but this team has looked were one of the best teams in the Bernstein is a member of Unfortunately, I think that’s is one of the best defensive teams shaky as of late, and Wisconsin country during the regular season. the class of 2018. Swimming and Diving excel at championships Neu competed in the 3-meter diving competition, Leonardo placing 21st overall. On Thursday, the ‘Jackets over lunch earned their second 10th place finish of the meet, this time in a team event. In the 200-yard freestyle relay, the powerful performance in the preliminary race earned the foursome of Western Art History 1 & 2 Bailey, Simpson, Simon and Luan spots in the finals, where they (ART 103 & 104) clocked in with a time of 1:35.23. Bailey and Neu hit the water PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS A member of the UR Swim team once more during Friday’s events, dives off the block to start the race. with Neu competing in the 1-meter diving event and Bailey competing BY KARLI KOZEN in the 200-butterfly event. STAFF WRITER Both athletes narrowly missed moving beyond the preliminary The University of Rochester’s rounds in their respective events. Women’s Swimming and Diving The ‘Jackets’ final chance to score team competed in the NCAA points came on Saturday, March 21. E • ON SITE • ON YOU NLIN R WA Division III Championships Here, once again, Simpson, O Y held in Shenandoah, Bailey, Simon and Luan teamed Texas this past weekend. up for a freestyle relay, but this The team was represented in the time the 400-yard freestyle. Convenience without compromise. meet by five exemplary athletes: In the preliminary round, Knock-off electives–accelerate to graduation senior swimmer Lauren Bailey, the girls had a strong swim, Transferable SUNY credits junior swimmer Vicky Luan, demolishing the previous school sophomore diver Danielle Neu record and clocking in with a Affordable tuition and sophomore swimmers Emily time of 3:28.01, which earned GCC offers 170 summer courses Simon and Khamai Simpson. them a place in the finals. • more than 50 online! Together, the ‘Jackets earned a In the 400-yard freestyle total of 24.5 points and placed 28th relay finals, UR finished 15th out of the 46 competing teams. with a time of 3:28.52 and On the first day of competition, winning the ‘Jackets’ four points. Wednesday, Mar. 18, Luan came This action-packed meet ONLINE & AT 7 CAMPUS LOCATIONS | WWW.GENESEE.EDU | 866-CALL-GCC out strong with a time of 23.52 concluded the season for the in the 50-free, breaking her own UR Women’s Swimming and previously held school record Diving team. With a record of Are you mad for March Madness? and earning her a spot in the 6-3 for the year, the team hopes consolation final. Luan tied for to build upon this winning Crazy for cricket? Write for Sports! 10th overall in this event, earning record for the to next season. UR’s first points of the meet. Kozen is a member of The same day of competition, the class of 2015. [email protected] THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / SPORTS campustimes.org / PAGE 19 ATHLETE OF THE WEEK Assisting legend Steve Nash retires Kayla Kibling - Softball BY JESSE BERNSTEIN years. Most impressively, Nash “When I think of my career, I BY DANI DOUGLAS win and host the Liberty League STAFF WRITER won back-to-back MVP awards can’t help but think of the kid SPORTS EDITOR tournament and go to Nationals in the ’04-’05 and ’05-’06 seasons. with his ball, falling in love. That’s again this season. Individually, I This past weekend, the NBA Although Nash was experiencing still what I identify with and did 1. When did you start hope to play the best that I can to waved goodbye to one of its truly his best years in his 30s, the Suns so throughout my entire story.” playing softball? help my team achieve our main goals. unique players as virtuoso point could never make it out of the Bernstein is a member of I started playing softball in fourth 5. What was the biggest guard Steve Nash announced stacked Western Conference, the class of 2018. grade, and before that, I had played take away from the team’s his retirement after 18 seasons. engaging in some memorable little league baseball since second spring break trip to Florida? Drafted by the Phoenix Suns tangles with San Antonio and grade. Even before organized I think we gained some confidence out of West Coast Conference Los Angeles in the playoffs. baseball, my siblings and I learned and experience playing in Florida. (WCC), from Santa Clara, Nash After a few down years, Nash was the game from playing catch and We played against some very talented played sparingly his first few traded to the Los Angeles Lakers, hitting in the yard with our dad. teams during the UAA tournament seasons before being traded to where he spent a few injury- 2. What do you consider to be and from that we learned which the Dallas Mavericks. After a few plagued years playing for some your greatest strength as a player? areas of the game we need to work years, Nash and fellow Maverick disappointing teams. He wasn’t I think my greatest strength is on individually and as a team. Dirk Nowitzki became one of even able to step on the court my determination to always get This will help us to be successful the most formidable shooting season, before retiring last Saturday. better. There’s always going to be throughout the rest of our season. duos in the league, and, at this Nash has compiled an impressive some aspect of the game I need 6. Who would you consider point, Nash regularly appeared on list of philanthropic projects, to work on, and I’m willing to your biggest competition? the All-Star and All-NBA roster. donating funds and time to causes listen to my coaches and make Your biggest competition is After the ’03-’04 season, in Uganda, Paraguay, Phoenix the needed adjustments because yourself. Your coaches, teammates Nash returned to Phoenix, and his home country, Canada. I want to continue to get better. and opponents can push you and where he paired with Mike In 2007, Nash received the 3. How will being recognized as challenge you to succeed, but D’Antoni, Amar’e Stoudemire highest honor a Canadian Liberty League Athlete of the Week ultimately you can only accomplish and Shawn Marion to form one citizen can receive, the Order so early in the season impact you? your goals if you believe in yourself. of the most fluid, potent offenses of Canada, for his contributions It will definitely motivate me 7. Would you rather in the history of the sport. in British Columbia. to consistently play at a high level go parasailing with Jon Nash’s skills as a passer and as a “At the heart of this letter, I’m while continually working to get Stewart or Conan O’Brien? shooter were on full display every speaking to kids everywhere who better throughout the season. I think I would go with Jon Stewart. night for those Phoenix squads, have no idea what the future holds 4. What do you most hope to His show is hilarious, and he was in and put up four 40/50/90 seasons or how to take charge of their accomplish this season, both “Big Daddy,” which is a great movie. while also leading the league in place in it,” Nash wrote in an as a team and individually? Douglas is a member of assists per game five times in seven essay for The Player’s Tribune. CHRISIAN CIERI / ILLUSTRATOR Our ultimate team goal is to the class of 2017. LAST WEEK'S SCORES In nail-biter women’s SATURDAY, MAR. 21 lacrosse falls to Geneseo • Women’s Lacrosse vs Nazareth L 8-9 TUESDAY, MAR. 24 • Softball vs Finlandia University W 10-0 • Women’s Lacrosse vs SUNY Geneseo L 9-10 WEDNESDAY, MAR. 25 • Baseball vs SUNY Cortland L 11-15 • Women’s Tennis vs. William Smith College W 6-3

PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS UR goalkeeper, Maire Prosak, staunchly defends the net against Geneseo. THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE BY EMILY LEWIS all 60 minutes, making four STAFF WRITER saves and allowing ten goals. THURSDAY, MAR. 26 For Geneseo, Liz Felix and • Men’s Tennis vs William Smith College - 4:00 PM* The University of Rochester Katey Hart led the Knights with Women’s Lacrosse team lost five and four goals, respectively. FRIDAY, MAR. 27 by one goal to the #16-ranked Karen Boronczyk scored the • Women’s Lacrosse vs St. Lawrence University - 4:00 - PM Geneseo Knights, with a score other goal for Geneseo and Tara SATURDAY, MAR. 28 of 10-9. The Knights will Basile tacked on two assists. move to a record of 5-0 overall, This is the ‘Jackets’ second • Men’s Track at University of Maryland Invitational - College Park, Maryland - 10:00 AM while the ‘Jackets move to 4-3. consecutive one-goal loss. • Women’s Track at University of Maryland Invitational - College Park, Maryland - 10:00 AM With a number of players Although they didn’t come • Men’s Tennis vs New York University - New York, New York - 11:00 AM delivering for the ‘Jackets, the out on top, Rochester still had game was very much a balanced much to gain from both games. • Women’s Tennis vs New York University - New York, New York - 11:00 AM team effort. Emily Watson, Lauren “There’s a lot to be proud of and • Baseball vs Bard College - 1:00 PM, 3:30 PM Basil, Maddy Levy and Jamie a lot to look forward to going into • Women’s Lacrosse vs Clarkson University - 2:00 PM Wallisch each chipped in two conference play,” sophomore Mara goals apiece, with Levy scoring Karpp said. “One-goal losses are • Baseball vs Bard College - 3:30 PM in the last minute of play. Cassie definitely motivating, and I think SATURDAY, MAR. 28 Maher also added one goal for UR. that the game yesterday [Geneseo] “This game represented the put us in a great position going • Women’s Tennis vs The College of New Jersey - Ewing Township, New Jersey - 11:00 AM team working together and into conference play this weekend.” • Women’s Rowing vs William Smith College/St. Lawrence University/St. John Fisher College - 11:00 AM* believing in each other’s abilities Looking forward, the ‘Jackets • Baseball vs Bard College - 12:00 PM to succeed,” sophomore Jamie are very confident in their ability Wallisch said. “I’m so proud to win games. “Geneseo is a • Men’s Tennis vs The College of New Jersey - Ewing Township, New Jersey - 1:00 PM of our team and am looking ranked team, which proves to • Baseball vs Bard College - 2:30 PM forward to the game ahead.” The me that our team can play at the overwhelming support the ‘Jackets highest level against the best teams • Women’s Lacrosse vs Clarkson University - 2:00 PM have for one another will only lead in the country,” Karpp added. TUESDAY, MAR. 31 to further success in the future. The ‘Jackets will take on St. • Baseball vs Keuka College - 4:00 PM Wallish picked up three ground Lawrence University this Friday. balls in addition to the one at 4:00 p.m. at Fauver Stadium to WEDNESDAY, APR. 1 ground ball from Watson, four kick off their conference schedule, • Softballl vs SUNY Geneseo - 3:00 PM from Danielle Diacovo and three and will play Clarkson University at • Baseball vs St. John Fisher College - 4:00 PM from Charlotte Berg. Watson home at 2:00 p.m. the following day. also had eight draw controls. Lewis is a member of • Softballl vs SUNY Geneseo - 5:00 PM Maire Prosak played in goal the class of 2016. *DENOTES HOME GAME PAGE 20 / campustimes.org THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2015 / SPORTS SPORTS UR varsity, club sports head to warmer climates around the nation and the world BY JACKIE POWELL losses were to eigth-ranked Emory, Ithaca College, UR Women’s STAFF WRITER allowing for the Lady ‘Jackets to Lacrosse also traveled to Florida, finish third at the championships. but this time to Clearwater. Two weeks ago, UR students had This top-three finish came after The team played two games the pleasure to pause our studies sweeping Brandeis and NYU against Lynchburg College / ILLUSTRATOR for a week of sleep, relaxation and and splitting match ups against and Swathmore College, and CHRISTIAN CIERI family: Spring Break had arrived. Washington University in St. returned from their spring play Yet many athletes—both varsity Louis and Case Western Reserve. reenergized after turning their and club—used their time off as Junior shortstop Kayla Kibling 0-1 record into a 2-1 record. Quarter—and saw season kick-starters and season- had an exceptional performance, Sophomore Jamie Wallisch an F.C. Barcelona enders. Thankful to be out of putting up a .512 batting average continued the momentum game at Camp Nou. Sophomore Ryosei Kobayashi stretches to save a ball. the freezing weather for a week, along with six doubles and 12 she gained last season, with a The soccer team then UR athletes ventured from the runs. Additionally, senior Brittany combined nine-goal performance continued their Spanish colder climates of Rochester, NY Grage batted five home runs in Clearwater. Along with adventures with some time to locations like Florida, North and drove in 19 RBIs along with Wallisch, junior Elizabeth at the Picasso Museum Carolina, France and Spain. striking out 25 batters throughout Watson and sophomore Mara followed by their first ­match The baseball and softball squads the Lady ‘Jacket’s run in Florida. Karpp scored two apiece. against a team from San took their talents to the middle of The men’s baseball team also Freshman defender/midfielder Andreas. The competitive the Sunshine State, as the men’s finished the UAA championships Madeline Mullholand commented against the Spanish team squad began their season with the in third and went 4-4 throughout on the two away games, stating was intense, as freshman University Athletic Association the tournament. They are now that playing in Florida enabled midfielder Hayley Orciuch (UAA) championships in Sanford, tied with Case Western Reserve the Lady ‘Jackets to “experiment scored to end the match in a tie. and the Lady Yellowjackets as they share the third place with [our] lines and rotations to The Rochester women had their played some neutral exhibitions mark within the UAA standings. see what chemistry would develop second match in France against in Clermont against Bethany Although the ‘Jackets didn’t on the field.” She continued to continued OFC Nice, which also resulted College, Salve Regina University finish the tournament above .500, say that being in Florida wasn’t to reflect in a draw of 3-3. Not only and Finlandia University. they ended their UAA play with a only a “great opportunity on upon the season for the did the lady ‘Jackets immerse After starting out the season very convincing 12-0 over NYU. the field” but allowed the team women’s squad and said how themselves in diverse culture, 2-1 at home, the Lady ‘Jackets Difference-makers who emerged “to grow off the field as well.” they have been “plagued by but they learned a great deal continued their Floridian tour from their opening contests The men’s and women’s ultimate injuries” and a change in coaching, about how the sport they love with the women’s softball UAA consisted of junior Nolan Schultz frisbee teams took their spring but she is proud of the way in her is portrayed and practiced around championships held in Altamonte and senior Josh Ludwig. Schultz break to Myrtle Beach, South her teammates have stepped up. the world, according to journal Springs. Sophomore Tiffanyaccumulated two home runs Carolina for the High Tide While the above teams all took entries posted to the UR Athletics White said her teammates “play and ten hits during the Sanford Tournament. The women’s team their spring break excursions in website by members of the team. best when [they] are having stay, while Ludwig put up five tied for third place while the the beginning and/or middle of Spring break was a time for the fun and relaxed,” and the warm doubles and drove in nine runs. men’s squad won the consolation their seasons, the UR women’s ‘Jackets to either begin or end Florida environment change The ‘Jackets also saw“Chumpionship” Bracket. Soccer team took their talents their seasons with pride. Their “was a good way to bond [and] impressive pitching performances Junior Nina Fogel expressed to Barcelona, Spain and Nice, spring break trips allowed the enjoy the beautiful sunshine that from senior Josh Schulman, the importance of this France for some sight-seeing athletes to refuel their drive to [will] be nonexistent in Rochester junior Michael Mondon and tournament for both squads. and offseason international play. keep up their intensity in both for awhile upon our return.” freshman John Ghyzel, who “This tournament enabled us to Their adventures began in training and competition, whether UR Softball won six out of together achieved 28 strike-outs try out new things” and allowed Barcelona as they were introduced their seasons are underway

ten of their contests within the throughout the championships. for “our younger members to take to Spanish foods, traveled to or come closer to beginning. AARON RAYMOND / STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER championships. Two of those After a tough opening loss to leadership on the field.” Fogel the El Barri Gotic—the Gothic Powell is a member of the class of 2018. Leslie named All-American and Division III Rookie of the Year understand the scale of it—my second highest on the team, a to be putting more pressure on big games and plan to carry that coaches had to tell me what it meant.” notable feat, considering that ourselves because we now know momentum into next season.” The award is the latest in a she took almost three times how good we can be,” Leslie said. Shapiro is a member of number of honors Leslie has as many foul shots—148— “I think we only just scraped the the class of 2016. received following her standout as the next closest player. surface [of our potential] at the end Douglas is a member of first season as a Yellowjacket. “It’s definitely going to be of this season: we were winning the class of 2017. Impressively, she was also named different next year,” Leslie said. “I

PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS UAA Rookie of the Year, First think it’s going to be better for our Team All-UAA and was the only team overall because [other] teams freshman in the country to an All- are going to focus a lot more on American Honorable Mention by me and double me—and maybe the Women’s Basketball Coaches even triple me—which is going BY BEN SHAPIRO Association. Additionally, she to open up everyone else on the SENIOR STAFF has become the first freshman team and bring a lot more evenly BY DANI DOUGLAS and only the eleventh player distributed scoring...that will in Rochester history to be allow my teammates to shine.” SPORTS EDITOR named to the All-American This season, the ‘Jackets had seven Although the UR Women’s team for women’s basketball. freshmen on the roster, replacing Basketball season concluded “It’s the most insane feeling: only four seniors from the previous almost a month ago, freshman it’s always been my dream since I season and growing the team Alexandra Leslie has still was a kid to be an All-American, larger than it has ever been before. continued to rack up awards. and I wasn’t expecting it at all Despite only being a freshman, Last week, the Lancaster, PA when I got the award,” Leslie Leslie’s hard work and consistency native was named the Division said. “I was just shocked.” earned her considerable playing III Rookie of the Year by As a major contributor for time, starting every game and d3hoops.com. Out of about UR this season, leading the team averaging 27.2 minutes-per-game 5,000 Division III female with 15.2 points-per-game, Leslie for the ‘Jackets, who finished the basketball players in the was the only player averaging season as the fourth-ranked team country, Leslie was the only double figures. She also led in the UAA with a record of 15-10. individual chosen for the award. the team in a number of other Leslie believes that next season, “When I got the award, I categories, including total points her coaches will be expecting more really couldn’t believe it,” Leslie and rebounds. Her free throw from her as an individual, and PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS said. I was so excited and didn’t shooting percentage of .831 was the team as a whole. “We’re going Freshman Alexandra Leslie demonstrates her presence in the paint.