UTOPIA ACCORDING TO: JONAS SALK OPRAH WINFREY KURTVONNEGUT ilil CATALOG WMMMIT AWISHBOOK coREnA scon KING FOR THE NEXT MAX HEADROOM CENTURY LINAWERTMULLER JESSE JACKSON EIGHT WAYS ROY ROGERS TO HAVE AN STEPHEN JAY GOULD OUT-OF-BODY AND MANY OTHERS onnrui

EDITOR IN CHIEF & DESIGN DIRECTOR: BOB GUCCIONE PRESIDENT: KATHY KEETON EDITOR: PATRICE ADCROFT GRAPHICS DIRECTOR: FRANK DEVINO EDITOR AT LARGE: DICK TERESI MANAGING EDITOR: STEVE FOX ART DIRECTOR: DWAYNE FLINCHUM

CONTENTS PAGE

FIRST WORD National Health Care Mary Slout 6

OMNIBUS Data Bank 10

COMMUNICATIONS Correspondence 11

FORUM In Search of Utopia Murray Cox 14

SPACE The Mind in Space Alcestis Oberg 18

BODY The Pasteur Institute ai 00 Judson Gooding 22

EARTH Reptiles that Heal R Edward McNeil 24

CONTINUUM What's Love Goi to Do With 11 27

PARADISE TOSSED Personal Utopias of Elie Wiesel. Tammy Faye Bakker, Ma/ Headroom, Hans Kuna. Coretia Scott King, Stephen Jay Gould, Jesse Jackson, Grace Slick, David Rockefeller. Kurl Vonnegut, and others

OMNI'S WHOLE UNIVERSE Artifacts, Technology, Lxe:;;ises. Pullout CATALOG and Fantasy Items for the Future; Out-oi-body Experiences,

A HANDFUL OF HORROR Fiction: Five Tales of Terror Edward Bryanl 44 Patricia Highsmith Dan Simmons Pat Cadigan Michael Swanwick

INTERVIEW R. D. Laing Anthony Livers dye 56

PORTS OF RECALL Unraveling the Mysteries of Bruce Schechter 64 Memory

ASTRAL ABSTRACTION Pictorial: Imaginary Galaxies Nina Guccione 77

FRAGMENTS OF PAPYRUS Fiction William Kotzwhkie 84 FROM THE TEMPLE OF THE OLDER GODS

ANTIMATTER Seven Ancient Aliens, etc. 91

STAR TECH The Consumer Electronics Show 116

GAMES Mr. Wizard Scot Morris 120

LAST WORD Humor: Telltale Appliances Joe Queenan 122

A crystalline globelet—

NYKXP =365 I , reminiscent of planet Earth— ' (ranges pmn MsBfiSns PosiOflieeBo*.30*i Had ' IA; Numtisi Cppyriom i 085 /--> lures a drop of water

:- II5.J ,;.,- : i l-i :-! from the depths of a stagnant by i CTCdilh/Rurdfl Corp nclri , i :., .'.il mountain reservoir i, West Dray Ion, Lon. .-Jl roar in this month's cover, an untitled illustration

i ...!',. US. ^FO ; dCi.-.^w :.ji:?nfonr: Si»! conceptualized by Japanese ::, i: .'?£!:Jl's I !-:i- I artist Motohisa leda. A OMNI :

Ame.fsca has boon struggling for decades aisle , afli n.h,. I came iore tnd to formulate aeationa health care pokey, more people are exhausting her' lilc

1. 1., . . !,.;, ^niortunaiely today's healln care system . ii vi

'''

i .' I'fl, tfiis : ' . Agamsl backdrop, ore asks

. w-ii i ' i : . . tor future rise 'rem p':ji ". i . : ! ! " n 'I i anyining the : -O; i! tl V gooc Decision Sciences, calls : a moss." Ameri- the ashes of today's health care mess.

can hee'fh care is darn ly mat a noitcy I believe changes etc bound to come, but

prepared for -he future. What we nave? ;f will oof fie an easy process.

instead is a patchwork of se'f-.eusiainc-d As we apptoa-ch the year 2000. i nave health cs'e delivery systems, duplicating nepo that we will beam the revitaiization the n necessary to cream a new health care - out sick I ' !'.": !,:'. n w.il properly care to; I! ; . that C'.l! :\. ! system , :i: !.':; ;.;:,;'. f fj capcai -mi. 1 in ! iang eded include a

ii-iio eocieiy of i-f.-e enterprise wrioro net'-,;

1 i i i I- 'I I 'I' heed hpSp . I !"i h':;: 06! S I

, delivery :, . .1; create system isim :: n: i r oiiOiOd [he would a common public a vaiioiy of hoaitn camoppuhunl- for pat'ent care, aeon m. out health ties, but I: has also Stimuiated costs arid a common strategy "ci all ' that most peoo : e simply cannot afford to care' needs.

pay. Vany oi these individuals end up i oe-eve we need a health: cere system

. : . :! : i , with impropoi care or no care a: all. con! n mu j: 1, i -isumers. wtlt tn interest of tne oubic It is a yisgraco when one of the wealth who act the est coanlncs in ins world, which spends rathe' than in the interest of she hosoltai %Suu billion :o $600 bilhfvi on health care corporations. The current trend calls

each yean allow;-; scores of peon'e r e for doctors to run 'he large health care '', . 1 1 1 ,. ; :: ," .w.\ : as wo as ,: i , i: nedcal .are Tr;:S figure exceeds by far tne momes sport by ears lot the sick making irv.-'.v rcsponsioe UUORD other Western countries or; their health ifies lar too compi-cared A consumer- care systems. rue hosp tat system womb take p-essute By Mary Stout A major cause of these high costs off the medmai -ield ano directly confront

'i,i, .: em i i.i i. eaioc purcn e;e oi the patients' needs.

:

, into; national ' of : , i - I development an - to- the national health care system i c r: : mmc ax:ai.tomiography {CAT) and magnetic network to cove global hea'th problems that 's controlled and Primarily i as i i , i i 1 i i

, , . ..:: m. ,,1 1. ano ; wee managed by consumers, wh choosi mi .ns o: lol if: eaei io ,;," ens toeewpt eooa : tacl c tending inousands of eeople m the inro will act in the who : "" iroataole loesses 1 tro suefi i World t 1 wuh those k c ' • u' use 1 v me •• interest of the public rather made m the miaest of tno public but as cholera. malana hepatite, and measles. the and Ihc glory of hospital Finally, we neec to tackle tee eternal in ths interest for power ^e than '! ','.,! !.;. ,i ! 1 :. , 1 :. itseif. A CAT scan, to; instance, may bo f hospital corporations' ofthe avaitanm a: ton hospitals in a smglo break tlvocgl community where in fat;; only one hospital science at such a rate that he hasn't needs to provided. stopped to property confront some of the ..: .... health Net c,r;fy is the nations health cam i ,w uov\ face ei the

policy i'anng as a whole, hut tno system ;s care t.elo' W ais thin the separate to transplant organs 'torn one human being institutions. Tiic Veterans Adm.inisfraeon to another ana soon we w:H have the abikty le seleo! the of out children , with a $10 billion sex ,,

1.1 .*. life. !." i Is veterans and observers, as a primary purpo cl il , Bet wh;C

\< :! , \rv \ wnogoi iivei trail in i ui, ...Mid Io* m h- . capabieef d.

slodonts- --not as a domain for iho care ct or wtio gels that heart'' is 1 et'h rta ft;

!,., .1 !,,. gins than cr vice versa? . relai es ih< v. ieeed more boyo. '; he tragic aspect' 0! this system of Arid how far uo the evolutionary scale : he" health oete. it has boon driven far afielri new possloio from; ."s oriyfna; mission. VVnen confronted \ believe 1 is to ceate a with combat related "^edtoal conditions. nee fh care dofvery svstee^ for ton cjrrow

si. the uffereo- luring the VI, nam that :s : ittegrated. effcrdable. interoepend- W= a, cannot ent, interactive, anci eternaticnaleed. A

even resurrect the tosatu! ona! memory oi cenirsfr/ed eernputer 1 now to deal wan these conditions, tot w'll Iretar-latioously provrtle tne avaiabl:- -1 a-one marshal t.ne necessary resources to i.ly of c ! ot :, "-os.

' .1' lllC! : |h: rncet the ctemanos. I MK.'t.i : MCll. C. Wnaf we have in the overall neaeh care made availafiie to es today wil; oe :!.; ..!: = 1, ;..- seecessajtiy applied

ct American man: beeaeuomb by scpcrsfais ct today's medicnc w : H give extraordinary waste, inoimttiency. and wa-j /en system

'-, '.; , .1 , ' :-v u :! . :u : r \ev- of and for ihe [et'tte e.CXD

= = 1 - : = i 1.1! . : : : misplaced orr riMe Marv no ss.-vec s We have a maze of confusion in wince rno-e and more people arc less and less — ——

CONTRIBUTOR! onnrui

PARADISE -OSsLLi

in vivid or ^% I here the cosmos could you dreams hallucinations, OBEs are look al the cre,:i; on of these Utopias, turn

' . I I get a piece of actual Skylab fascinating mental gymnastics. to Forum on page 14. fc» »» debris? Grow the ultimate While com.o ling the cala : og, Colligan Authors Edward Bryant, Pat Cadigan, crystal garden? Buy a personal cloning contacted numerous mail-order compa- Michael Swanwick, Dan Simmons, and kit? You could spend days seeking out nies and Iracked down leads furnished Patricia Highsmith conjure up their own mail-order houses, scouring advertising by Omni staff members, relatives, friends, oVstopias "dgcther their nightmarish flyers, and scanning reader services acquaintances, and probably even worlds make up 'A Handful of Horror." a in the backs ol obscure periodicals. Even strangers. In fact, that guy you saw collection of short stories that begins so, you might not find what you're looking rummaging through the garbage on the on page 44. "The stories range from high- for. Now you can refer to a single source street corner might have been Colligan teci [error :o he angsl of everyday Omni's Whole Universe Catalog, a unique who's become a mail-order catalog living." says fiction editor Ellen Datlow. directory overflowing with offbeat items, junkie. "It was i ke s'lopong without having who commissioned the works. And in fantastic artifacts, and super services. to buy anything," he says. "With all the "Fragments of Papyrus from the Temple "Everything in the catalog had to meet products that began arriving for our of the Older Gods" (page 84) William certain criteria," says senior editor consideration, my office began lo look Kotzwinkle offers a tale ol paradise lost Douglas Colligan, who coordinated the like a shipping dock." because the Pharaoh misses the boat. project. "Each item had to have an element Colligan has been associated with The pictorial "Astral Abstraction" (page ot Omni, whether it related to space, Omni since the magazine's inception 77) displays photographer Dean Himmel- astronomy, arlificial nelligence, science first as a freelance contributor and then as reich's world of "imaginary astronomy," fiction, or even UFOs." Some items, senior editor for the last six years. Now experimental art created on a whim. like the Sentry Robot, the Cockroach he's moving on, and we wish him well in his But what good is a vision of another world

Racetrack, and the U.S. Space Camp's future endeavors. As a result of his work if you can't remember it? Most of the space cuisine, feature comments or on The Whole Universe Catalog, of course. conundrums that inspire modern science. anecdotes from "the famous, semifamous, Colligan may have a budding career as from quarks lo quasars, lie outside every- or would-be famous, " editor. Colligan says. a catalog "In my personal Utopia I day experience. Memory is experience In addition to goods and services. The would probably be surrounded by mail- somehow saved from the ravages of time. Whole Universe Catalog includes a test order catalogs and have a charge card In "Ports of Recall: The Neurolink" (page lo determine whether you're left- or right- with an unlimited line of credit, " he 64) Bruce Schechter reveals the strides brained. And we supply details for comments. Sure, Doug. And in his Utopia, neurobiologists and other researchers are accumulating your own whole-brain tool actor Roy Rogers wanls to have a taking toward charting a memory map. kit with items like the Hemi-Phone, the raccoon in every backyard. As. scientists determine the circuits thai

Idea Generator, and Synchroenergizers. Rogers, Joseph Kennedy It. Coretia wind through the brain, coding information There's even a section on out-of-body Scott King, Eiie Wiesel. Harvey Fierstein, and storing memories, they will not only experiences (OBEs), with instructions for and numerous others— including our help those suffering from brain disorders inducing the journey of a lifetime without hero Max Headroom—share their dreams but might also be able to enhance the ever leaving your home. Wheiherthey of a Utopian world in "Paradise Tossed" abilities of the healthy. And that's not just prove the existence of the soul or are jusl (page 36). For a behind-the-scenes a Utopian dream. OQ 10 OMNI LETTERS _^_ cannn/iunjicATorus

Hail to the Chief of a troublesome problem. Plus, to

I had no idea the government was using someone who enjoys sick humor as much

it taxpayers' dollars to fund such studies as I do, was hilarious. Very low-key. as the effects of alcohol on sunfish or the Laid-back. Horrifying. Wonderful! study ot social relationships in Peruvian Suzanne LoGalbo whorehouses ["Fleece Chief," January Spring, TX 1988], With Senator William Proxmire out

of the critic's seat, I can jusl imagine Here Comes the Judge what fun-loving researchers will tackle In casting a panel of distinguished scien- next—the effect of nocturnal carousing on tists as high pnests offering their moral infertile cockroaches, no doubt. and legal opriors and calling that enter- Scott E. Docherty tainment "A Science Court" [January Mount Kisco, NY 1988]. Omni does the cause of democratic control of technology a disservice. An Inseparate Peace Writer Ed Regis acknowledges borrow- A.J.S. Rayl's article "The Peacemakers" ing i.ho idea from me and notes that the [January 1988] was enlightening. In a goal of the court "would be to make world that seems to be dropping into a public'the 'science' of a given issue," but dark age of repression in the name of he then proceeds to oo something quite selt-interest, it's good to hear that there dilferent. He asks his judges moral and are some people actively promoting legal questions. peace and understanding n the world. It is not quite correct that the science materialized. I have a question, though. Why did court never There have

Omni see fit to devote 18 inches to the been exercises at Dartmouth and Berkeley opinions of celebrities? True, these people that have helped h deveiooing proce- may be involved in the movement but dures. But the task is difficult partially no more so than many others with less- because some scientists prefer high famous names. priests' robes to lab coats and because Lamar Henderson some prefer not to stretch their minds Columbia, MO enough to deal with the moral and ethical problems posed by a science-based Badge of Courage technology that grows more powerful at Your January interview with Dr. Ian an exo.osive rate. Stevenson helped atone tor the shoddy Arthur Kantrowitz coverage that -lis reputable and important Thayer School ol Engineering work has received in slick magazines Dartmouth College elsewhere. If it attracts negative criticism, Hanover, NH it will come only from dead-end machin- ist-materialists who haven't examined Only in the cases relating to germ-line enough of his published work on lite after therapy and genetic engineering do we death to realize how careful and objective come back to the original question of his research has been. The article a courl deciding what science can do. showed great ed tonal "as'.e and courage, But this is a "genie" question. Like the and your handling of this controversial atom bomb, new ideas cannot be stuffed issue is a credit to your magazine. back into the bottle, and no court should John Koster be invented to make this attempt. Glen Rock, NJ Richard S. Blake East Falmouth, MA Head Trip

I was thrilled with the tiction/piciorial Trial in Error "Headset" [January 1988]. I'm a psychol- Regarding the January 1988 First Word, ogy major and thought it was an excellent the trial of Vickie Loren occurred in Arkan- forecast of. twentieth-century treatment sas, not Illinois. We regret this error.DO —— —

IN SEARCH OF UTOPIA FDRunn By Murray Cox

often go to a piano bar called the about Utopia once aoeui ,'v years ago medical care for all— no matter, as Michael

"if Duplex, a little place tucked away on The Sixties and Utopia. Why do I make Harrington says, (hey are lazy, promis- I the middle of Grove Street in Greenwich the connection? Because it's the closest cuous, irreverent, rotten people. No Village. Upstairs there's always a cabaret I've ever gotten to an ideal. The dawn one should have to go hungry or cold show; downstairs, people sing all sorts of of Aquarius. I was in Chicago, 1968. The scoundrel or not." Sounds like the Sixties to songs— numbers from musicals, Motown let offensive. King shot, Kennedy shot. me, that social justice stuff. Perhaps the

(Sunday night's the best for that), Fifties Prague Spring. Michigan Avenue, Chica- times are a-ehangin' again. "I miss the and Sixties pop charts. Joan Rivers did a go's Loop, looked like pictures Irom wonderful passer: |o f fie Sxties],"says

gig here many years ago; so, they say, Prague. Devoured Cleaver's Soul on Ice. I Linda Ellerbee, one of our Utopians,

ran from the I hopeful that in Nineties did Woody Allen and Sieve Martin. I go to Mace and billy clubs at the "but am the we unwind, I say. To meet friends, to talk Chicago Democratic convention. And will begin to see people remember that about everything and nothing, the big stud, I ran from the draft in the years that they are not alone in this world and turn the funny things: Nancy Reagan fell off followed, lived in a lot of places. Hardly around and care about each other." the podium today Cher was great in Utopian. In Greek, Utopia means "no Which means, of course, as you read

Moonstruck. That dirty, stupid little war in place." Maybe that's where I was: no place, these visions, you're going to be faced with decide who's Irying to live out ideals that couldn't be your biases and oe let systems. Nicaragua. You see, we . own talented and who's not; we decide what made real. Utopia. No more war, "What are Harrington must be a screwball, no? And should be done all over the globe. we fightin' for?" No more racism, sexism, FHerbee?We!l, who's she anyway?

One night I was sitting at the bar homophobia. "Wo shal not be moved." Marion Long, one of our contributing someone's singing Peter Pan's number "I Sing, sing, and dance. Join SDS. Really editors, overcame a number of obstacles won't grow up; I'll never grow up" laugh. Utopia. in the' course of populating Omni's

I and a friend, Bob Quinn, leans over. Later thai night, after Bob and I talked Utopia. Interviews were completed under know it's going to be one of those big Utopia, my boss, Patti Adcroft, stopped a variety of diilieull circumstances: from questions: "How come no one talks about by. Bob asked her the same question. She hospital bods (Jose.on Kennedy II), movie

Utopia anymore?" saw what I had missed. I knew when I locations (Lina Wertmuller), campaign

I I I I . As say, "Dunno," imagine — as often looked over at her had a project coming trails (Jesse Jackson), tour buses (Philip do when I sit there—that I'm in a cabaret my way: Find out people's Utopias, she Glass). People corn mum cared with us in Berlin, it's the late Thirties, pre-World said. Simple, eh? That was a year ago. You from Europe and South America. Mother

War II, a woman belts oul a torch song, can find Ihe blueprints on page 36: Teresa wrote her Utopia and mailed it cigarette smoke fills the room, couples "Paradise Tossed." from Calcutta the first week of January. snuggle, soldiers whisper, rumors of At first I was afraid we'd get abstract, Surface mail isn't, well. Utopian yet. It

:: war— now, that's reason to slip away to a ready stuff— everyone trying to make never reached us. "lf Mother's response dark dive and sing. A Utopia— of sorts? themselves look good, all sounding the does not arrive in time," said one serene

I hear Bob say, "Maybe no one believes same. After I received the first tive Missionaries of Charity Sister, "perhaps it

: in Utopia anymore." ran scripts. I knew we had something. is not the will of God."

"Maybe we're just loo selfish," I say It's People were serious, yes, but they were Nol everyone got the idea. Sam the late Eighties, a greedy era: BMWs. letting themselves go. They felt there Donaldson's initial rosnonso. contained in youth creams, second homes, the right was a great neec tor seread.ng some a note scrawled Ic h s secretary: "There

number of kids. Were a satisfied bunch. idealism about what could be. I have is no such thing as Utopia, and there " "So, Bob, do you believe in Utopia9 almost 300 nages ol Utopian visions. never will be, and these people are crazy

: He's quiet. "There are some givens," he To. learn peoo e s ideas ct .Jtopia is to if they think otherwise." says, "a world without hunger, sickness, find out a great deal about them: their For me the project is over. Now it's your

poverty. I want a world where children highest hopes and wildest dreams; their turn. I sit and hum an old tune: "The long can live, learn, grow, and be nourished in time and winding road that leads to your ..." an atmosphere that's fair, decent, and someone speaks adeul Utopia, it is a way door will never disappear. I hope good. Where people are more accepting of making commentary on the shorteom- you're as pleased with our Utopians of others, but more importantly of ngs ol Ihe prescnl Vlaybo what we as they were to participate. 1 am flattered," themselves. A place where people follow have here is a cultural index of our said Thomas Szasz, when he insisted their hearts as .veil as their heads. And unnape n'ess, our discontent with what is. on completing bus interview despite the oh, no politicians!" I hear— or do. I just want to hear? press of overseas work obi gations. An idealist. Uiooia's tarfeiched. Light the echo ol past days coming through "Surely," he added, "one who does nol talk, bar jabber, nothing serious. Really? those Utopias: justice, liberty, brotherhood keep one's prorn'sc cooc never be a part

Utopia's not serious? I was deadly serious for alj; food, clothing she:e' education of Utopia." DO 14 OMNI — " i —

COMRADERY

By Alcestis Oberg

^% hen Soviet cosmonaut Colonel only to brain-draining sensory dep r -va:ior Another problem for future space 1 1 I I Yuri Romanenko returned to but brain-enhancing capao i:ies usually travelers could be more dramatic misper- «v %m Earth after his record-breaking suppressed in ordinary life. The quality ceptions. People in isolated groups have 326-day stay aboard the space station of human relationships may change. been known to hallucinate. Naval clinical Mir, he surprised the world press by For example, most winier-over Antarctic psycho ogisl Benjamin Weybrew, a complaining publicly about one incident explorers (adventurers who spend at veteran of many pioneering submarine during the mission. Midway through least a year in that region) experience voyages, found that most hallucinations the flight, his crewmate and friend some degree of mental drift—reduced were auditory—some crew members Aleksandr Laveikin was ordered back to concentration, motivation, and energy swore they heard the sounds of malfunc- Earth because doctors had detected levels. Romanenko confirmed this for tioning equipment. A few, though, had " an irregular heartbeat. space explorers with his observation that visual ha l.c: nations: 'hey tnoughi they "Comrade Laveikin left the space "the most difficult thing in a [long] saw cracks in the hull," he says. station with hard feelings," Romanenko duration flight is to retain a high level of When real emergencies occur, the said. "It was difficult for me, too." Later in ability to work efficiently and to distribute response could be equally unreal. "In the the same interview, he said that Laveikin's all your forces from beginning to end Antarctic, people do not always take replacement was capable enough, but Less apparent but more insidious are appropriate action to a perceived danger," he hinted at other adjustment problems subtle changes in pattern recognition. notes Kirmach Natani, a physicist and when he noted cryptically: "We didn't When presented with a pattern of two lines psychologist. "Once there was a fire have very much in common as far as converging on a distant point, winter- inside a tunnel between buildings in the personal feelings were concerned." over subjects interpreted the lines not as Antarctic. The people inside had ignored Months before, while Romanenko was converging, as an adult normally would, safety equipment and hadn't bothered still orbiting overhead, an eclectic group out racl ating out from that point, as a to check out emergency evacuation of experts had come together to discuss three- year- old child woud. Subtle changes places," he recalls. "People ran inside some of the very problems he was in pattern recognition like this could that tunnel to fight the fire." experiencing. To try to anticipate what have profound implications for space At the same time, that reduced state of adjustment problems lie ahead for space travel, where being able to read technical alertness enhances other states of voyagers, NASA helped sponsor a graphs, diagrams, and charts is crucial, consciousness. Movies, dreams, and special meeting of people who have had daydreams become important; flashbacks similar psychological experiences on are vivid; a person's eyesight and sense Earth. Attending were Antarctic explorers, of smell may become more acute. For national-park rangers, and psychologists example, psychiatrists Areed and from NASA and the U.S. Navy. The group Marianne Barabasz noticed a dramatic probed the internal pioneering experi- increase in imaginative involvement in their ence, trying to detine the mental terrain Antarctic winter-over subjects. The space pioneers will have to tread. Barabaszes noted that some people got The logic behind the gathering was so absorbed in reading a book, Ihey simple. Studies of the internal problems felt they were living the experience of one people have had in stressful pioneering of the characters and had to be physi- experiences in this century— long cally shaken to break their concentration. submarine journeys or isolated stays in For others, fantasies became obses- wildernesses—may help those twenty-first- sions. One Antarctic veteran admitted century pioneers who will traverse lunar spending hours planning the demise of a craters or Martian mountain ranges in colleague in excruciating detail. "After search of knowledge and meaning. our talk, he told us he was glad to know What these experts have found is that he wasn't crazy," recalls Marianne in these frontiers of human experience, Barabasz. "He didn't understand why ordinary thought processes can change he'd gotten so engrossed in his fantasy." radically; perceptions of reality and danger Besides having a greater capacity can be altered; and episodes of confused for imaginative involvement, these people or altered states of consciousness seemed to become easier to hypnotize. shifting of cerebral processes—may all ' This was surprising, since hypnotizability be part of the space experience. Future the mind's ability to focus intensely, to space explorers may look forward riot i lie Mii: Ft.ends hi nigr\ places resii-, help. tune in or tune out external stimuli, includ-

18 OMNI CONTINUEOONPAGE1I4 —

PASTEUR'S PROGRE! BDDV By Judson Gooding

ne hundred years after opening committed to continuing its pivotal ual cells express diftereni characteristics."

its doors, the Pasteur Institute research on AIDS. In 1986 Montagnier Advances in developmental biology

in Paris is gearing up lor the and his colleagues isolated the second could result in significant progress in our twenty-first century and an attack on virus implicated in AIDS from West African ability to fight cancer. Biologists already medical mysteries still unsolved. Ongoing AIDS patients, HIV-2. They are now know that the uncontrolled proliferation of research on the AIDS virus— along with attempting to construct a "false" AIDS cells that cha-ac'.ei zos career results r trials of potential treatments for AIDS virus—one that is harmless but capable f om disturbances n the genetic materia! patients and the search for an AIDS of inducing protection against infection of the original cells. Pasteur researchers vaccine—commands perhaps the single for use in a vaccine. Pasteur officials are now studying the relationship between most concentrated effort at Pasteur emphasize that it is likely to be at least viruses and cancer. Gerard drift, head today. (In fact, HIV-1, the virus that actually several years before a vaccine is available of the institute's papilloma virus unit, causes AIDS, was first isolated at Pasteur for general use. In the meantime, other has spent 20 years investigating papillo- in 1983 by Dr. Luc Montagnier, who was microbiologists at Pasteur are trying mas—-viral infections that cause warts, subsequently named to the French Legion to determine why some people who test which sometimes turn into cancers. So far, of Honor in recognition of his work.) positive for AIDS antibodies develop Orth's team has isolated 50 different Founded in 1888 by Louis Pasteur, who the disease, while others stay healthy. strains of papilloma viruses affecting achieved instant stature as an interna- Developmental biology, an expanding humans. They're currently trying to identify tional hero with the introduction of his field, is expected to lead to a greater the mechanism by which the pathogens vaccine against rabies two years earlier, understanding of genetic diseases, afflic- cause normal cells to become malignant. the institute is one of the world's oldest tions of the nervous system, and cancer. Immunology is the third major focus and most revered medical research Dr. Maxime Schwartz, the institute's of research at Pasteur, with more IhanlOO facilities. Under the auspices of its Epide- deputy director, explains that develop- staff members devoted to cracking the miological Reference Center, Pasteur mental biology, or the biology of cellular complex codes of the human immune researchers monitor epidemics and help differentiation, is devoted to underslanding system. Officials say they want to devise control outbreaks of infection around how human beings develop from single a method of manipulating interactions the globe, working in close collaboration cells. 'All the cells carry the same genetic among antibodies. They believe such with both the World Health Organization information," Schwartz says. "But individ- interactions are one manifestation of an (WHO) and the Centers for Disease elaborate internal reconnaissance network

Control (CDC) in Atlanta. within the immune system. If they can Pasteur in 1988 is a private, nonprofit alter this program, they may be able to foundation receiving 47 percent of its encourage it to fight certain diseases. At funding from the French government. (The the same time, other immunologists are remainder comes from donations, licens- at work developing genetically engineered ing fees, and profits generated by the vaccines against such disparate illnesses institute's two commercial arms, Diagnos- as malaria—which continues to kill 2 tics Pasteur and Pasteur Vaccines, which million children each year—and AIDS. In market the products of the institute's 1986 Pasteur researchers conducted research.) Although the research in the first clinical trials of a safer, synthetic progress at Pasteur is varied, much of it vaccine against hepatitis B, which has falls into three major fields: microbiology, since been approved by the Food and developmental biology, and immunology. Drug Administration and introduced "Biology will develop in an almost explo- in the United States. sive way in the next hundred years," says Such challenges are representative ot Professor Raymond Dedonder, director those that researchers at Pasteur expect to of the institute since 1982. face in the next century. "Vaccines Microbiology, a field Louis Pasteur continue to be our hope for the future in helped found, is the most compelling area fighting disease," says Dr. Caroline Chaine, of research being conducted at the spokesperson for the institute. And institute today. Microbiologists working at Dedonder maintains that Pasteur scientists Pasteur have made important contribu- , will simply continue to do what they have tions to the understanding —and elimina- done since the instates inception: "We will tion — of diseases like typhus and plague. pursue our mission of conducting

In the same tradition, the institute is Pwiieur's legacy Vdooinos !o: modern ills. research to serve public health. "DO 22 OMNI .

ARMED AND AMPHIBIOUS EARTH By R. Edward McNeil

was a strange way io announce a ready to go to a commercial when Barker salamander on fhe show had done more Itscientific discovery. Johnny Carson was explained that the animal was just a damage than any snake could have. having a slow night, and knowing Mexican lungless salamander. America Was Johnny Carson, everyone's irreverent animals are always good tor a laugh he breathed a sigh of relief. late-night friend, guilty of starting a new

dragged herpetologisl David Barker "The interesting thing is that salaman- psychedelic-drug tad? If anyone was out of the greenroom. Barker is an attrac- ders are little," said Barker, "and a lot seriously worried, he needn't have been.

tive, personable guy wiih silver hair and of things would like io eat them. So they've The man who had done the "tail testing," matching beard who limited his reptile and become chemical-warfare experts. A Edmund D. Brodie, chairman ot biology at

amphibian guests to cute red tomato man that I work with studies salamander the University of Texas in Arlington, wasn't frogs from Madagascar and never-before- defense behaviors, and for a while he giving out details on this new herpetologi- seen lizards and salamanders from was lasting salamander tails. Some of them cal discovery. A guerrilla war in Guate-

Guatemala. Rumors around The Tonight taste like garlic, some of them taste like mala had made it impossible for Brodie to ." Show say fhat snakes are blacklisted onions, some taste like battery acid. . . continue his fieldwork; Unfortunately,

because Ed McMahon, that big lug of a "The man makes a living al this?" the salamander's habitat is the same as teddy bear, is afraid of them. Although Johnny asked. The audience roared. that of the leftist insurgents. And though

Barker left his snakes at home, McMahon "He tasted one of these things," Barker Brodie knows where the thing is and that wasn't around to take any chances. said, laughing along with the joke, and it has unusual defense mechanisms, There were none of his famous off-camera continued, referring to the salamander, not enough specimens have been guffaws when Barker lifted a four-inch "and was away in la-la land for hours." acquired for further siudies. salamander out of a transparenf-plastic "You mean that it was psychedelic?" Salamanders and frogs and newts and case with a pair of tweezers and held Johnny quizzed. toads, all members of the class it up for Johnny's approval. The salaman- "Oh, yeah. He said he saw colors. But I Amphibia, predate the dinosaurs. Their der's tiny legs were barely in focus when don't think fhere's going to be any big ancestors were creatures that evolved Johnny asked in that famous nervous trade," said Barker. "They have enough trom the fishes of the early Devonian Period stage voice that elicits laughter trom every toxins in their tails to kill fifty people." some 350 million years ago. Prolific corner of America, "I have no idea what Now the word was out. Suddenly it breeding practices and highly evolved that is. : . Whaf is that?" Johnny was seemed that having Ihis Mexican lungless defense mechanisms have kept fhese vulnerable lite forms from being dined on to extinction. In salamanders and many kinds of lizards, the tail breaks off from fhe body when the animal is faced with a

predator. A nerve in the tail can cause it fo wiggle about, distracting the predator and allowing the salamander (o crawl off unimpeded. To further help the animal escape, some species have acquired unappetizing tails, surviving because after one taste the predator was too revolted to go after the main course. By tasting the tails, Brodie might under- stand why a predator would allow this food source to go uneaten. As for the salamander, Brodie says the experience wasn't psychedelic. In fact, he hardly

remembers the experience at all.

"I took a droplet of the skin secretion,

and I don't remember much after that except that my students found me sifting on a rock a few hours later The

substance that causes this reaction is siill

unknown, but I would never categorize

it as psychedelic," he explains. Eventually, though, the different toxins coruTinjuunn

'HAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

0^k &^k y First year on the graduate admissions commil- to explore love in a way denied the casual observer. For example, 1 tee for Vale's psychology department, a col- in a study with Susan Grajek, then a graduate student in my

I league warned me, "You've got to look out for department, I found that men love and like their lovers more than ^^ I the people who want to go into psychology to they like their best male friends. Women, on the other hand, often solve their personal problems. Zap 'em, because they'll spend like their best girlfriends more than their lovers. It seems that their time here working out their problems instead ol doing re- nonsexual intimacy, providing comfort and nurtu ranee, is re- search." I smiled: Some people drink to deal with their problems; garded by both men and women as pretty much a female trait.

others take drugs; and others seek advice. I sfudy my problems Working with my administrative assistant, Sandi Wright, I also and even get paid for it— not a bad deal! discovered that what is considered important in close relation- Forexample, my first topic of research was human intelligence, ships alters profoundly overtime. For example, sharing of values asubject of interest to me because year after grade-school year (including religious beliefs) and the willingness to change, to tol-

I bombed out on intelligence tests. In sixth grade they even sent erate each other's flaws, all increase in importance. But it be- me back to a fifth-grade classroom to retake the earlier test. Years comes less important to listen closely to be sensitive to each later, at Yale, 1 started to wgnder why we kept getting students in other's, parents, or even in be interesting to each other. our program with fantastic test scores who, when they arrived, In another study, graduate student Michael Barnes and. I seemed either to have cheated on the test or to have had brain learned that lovers are as unhappy with too much love as with damage over the summer. Were the tests missing something? too little. In other words, we want what we want— nothing less Something crucial? Ultimately my research would reveal that but nothing more, either. Since no one person can ever know conventional intelligence tests tell us next to nothing' about in- precisely what another Is thinking and feeling, it is not surprising sight or creativity; nor do they tell us anything about a person's that we found the degree of happiness a person feels with a lover practical intelligence—what everyone except psychologists calls (or spouse) depends primarily on how he or she thinks the lover common sense. feels. In other words, the perception is what counts. We invent

My foray into, a second major research topic, love, has followed each other, just as in the first grade when a little girl and I turned a parallel path. For a while my personal life wasn't going really each other into a queen and a king. well, and I started to ask myself the question: What does it mean The work I've done in the field ol intelligence testing has led. to love someone and to be in love with someone? is there a me to a new general theory of intelligence and from ihere to a

difference, if is it? I and so, what Sure, read the literature on love, new and, I hope, fairer "I.Q." test. I don't know yet where- my but then I started reminiscing asking who my first love was. research on love will lead, though I'm interested in learning more

Was it my Brat-grade girlfriend together with whom I had formed about the way love and intelligence conspire and conflict in each plan king a modest to become and queen of the world? We were ol us. What I do know is that a life in science has been uniquely friends, there wasn't really good but much passion nor any long- satisfying for me because I can think of no better way to deal term commitment— even to monarchy. Perhaps my first love was with my problems than to study them and, ultimately, hope to girl the who sat in front of me during ienth-grade biology class. I understand them. "Know thyself" is the oldest piece of wisdom was smitten, but I never got to know her at all. Infatuation, sure, in the Western intellectual tradition And for me it makes the best but first love, probably not, Or was my first love Cindy, whom I beginning.— ROBERT J. STERNBERG met when I was sixteen and with whom I quickly became in-

volved? And what about them? Was I their first love? Their last? Robert J. Sternberg IBM oroieisoi o! piydiohqv and education at What were we looking for in other, each anyway? is, Vale University, the author ol Beyond I Q.: A Triarchic Theory ol Hu- Approaching these same guestions (or my preoccupations, man Intelligence, which won the 1987 Outstanding Book Award ot.the

which comes to the same thing) as a scientist, I have been able American Educai'On^l f?sc ai-zh Association. caruTinjuurui

GAMBLING HORMONE

Why can't a compulsive gambler, heavily In debt and on a losing streak, tear him- self away from a slot machine or the racetrack'' Psycholo- gist Peter Carlion bets that "a lowered level of the. neuro- transmitter serotonin" could be part of the answer. Carlton came up wifh his theory after studying 100 compulsive male gamblers for four years. Although he did not measure serotonin levels

in the brain directly, other evidence suggests the men have inadequate levels of the hormone. For example, he found thai electroencephalo- graphic (EEG) readings of Ihe gamblers' brain activity paralleled ihose of children with attention deficit disorder. "Children who suffer from hyperactivity may have lowered levels of serotonin, which has inhibitory effects," explains Carlton, who works

Johnson ter cherrus'iiy Araci'-hopri'jbdi:— i terrified of spiders—may at Robert Wood of brain f. are p ir.? .")' ji'/sr;, Medical School dues lewsr e . body ? 'lai-jiai ps >.han thos people who aren't afraid New Jersey:

If researchers can pinpoint ARACHNOPHOBES could have reduced endor- whether and how inadequate phin uptake by receptor cells."

amounts of serotonin contrib- tf Little Miss Muffef's brain Meriuzzi and psychiatrist ute to out- of- control gam- chemistry had been bal- Gunnar Gotesram plan to bling, Carlton foresees a day anced, a spider might never give some of their 170 spider- when compulsive gamblers have Inghlcned ner off her fearing volunteers the drug may be helped with brain- tuffet. At least, that's the naltrexone, which theoretically

chair stry-altering drugs. "I possibility being raised by blocks endorphin receptors; don't -.hink you will ever be researchers at Stanford others will receive placebos'. able to cure pathological University who are studying Then the arachnophobes gambling with a 'magic bullet,' arachnophobes— people will be exposed to spiders by like vol! can cure pneumonia who are terrified of spiders. gradual stages —first looking with an antibiotic," he empha- Psychologist Thomas across Ihe room at spiders sizes. "But there are certainly Meriuzzi explains that, fear in closed containers and drugs that will augment makes the body secrete eventually having spiders serotonin and may turnout to painkiters called endorphins: crawl on their arms. "We think be useful adjuncts to the "People who are. afraid of the people whose endor- recovery process and .with- spiders may produce fewer phins are blocked by the will fear," What does brain chemistry h, drawal from gambling." endorphins than people drug exhibit more (o do wilhgambling? —Sherry Baker who aren'l afraid-— or they says Meriuzzi. 2& OMNI —

Could (he (ear of spiders THE CASE OF THE tary College of Science, be entirely physical? "No," SUICIDAL SCIENTISTS killed himself with carbon emphasizes Merluzzi. "Bui monoxide. The next month, once learned, fear could Five British scientists, all David Sands, who worked on have an effect on the quantity involved in national-sec urity- air defense for a sister firm of endorphins produced." related research, have died of Marconi, packed his

Learning to. understand within the past year and ear with gas tanks and drove and treat arachnophobia can't a half in scenarios that seem straight into a vacant restau- come a minute too soon for taken frpm a spy thriller. rant— incinerating himself some people whose lives are First Vimal Dajibhai, an almost beyond recognition. constrained by their fear of ;do- "The Ministry of Defense, spiders. "One man told us he however, has not launched an doesn't go camping or even investigation into these sit on his terrace. He's afraid cases because there are no he's poisoning his family his body sprawled causal links, just coinci- with pesticides." Merluzzi beneath Clifton Bridge near dences, Involved.' says Martin comments, "but he doesn't Bristol, Two months later, Stott, assistant to defense care what he kills in the computer-systems analyst specialist and House of process, as long as he kills vapors from the eye. Ashad Sharif, another Marconi Commons member John the spiders thai terrify him." worker, was also found Cartwright. "We've had —Sherry Baker that measures their alcohol dead near Bristol. He had people come forth with all content. So far Giles has apparently tied a rope to a sorts of theories, including NEW DRUNK TEST tested the device on ten el- tree, looped the other end Soviet plots—but nothing derly alcoholic patients, around his throat, and driven hoids water." Stott points out The traditional nemesis of checking the Eyealyzer off in his car at high speed, that the real cause of the the drunk driver has been measurements against results strangling himself. scientists' deaths was proba- the "breathalyzer," the bal- from both breathalyzers The odd coincidences bly stress: "If you are. working

loon-powered device that and blood tests, Not only is continued to mount. In Janu- on a. project that falls. under measures the alcohol content the Eyealyzer "quite sensi- ary 1987 computer- design ihe Official Secrecy Acl

in a suspect's breath. But tive," Giles reports, it is also expert Richard Pugh was in Britain, you can't discuss the breathalyzer, ihough "a little more accurate" found dead in his. home; a your work with anyone accurate enough, has its than the standard balloon. few weeks later Peter Peapell. not your spouse, not a coun-

problems: It can't be used ef- Giles cautions-, however, it's a lecturer at the Royal Mili- selor."— Sherry Baker fectively on people with going to be quite awhile severe injuries or lung dis- before the Eyealyzer finds its ease, or, in the words of way ihto.the nation's cop chemist H. G. Giles, on those cars. "Most of the current who are simply "pissed out drunk-driving lawswere. of their minds"— in other wrilton specifically fcrrhe words; unconscious. breathalyzer," he explains. 'All Giles has a possible solu- those laws would have, to tion. Working at the Addiction be rewritten." If they are-, Research Foundation in though, Giles thinks that his Toronto, he has come up with invention could someday a gadget he calls the have a "significant impact,"

Eyealyzer. Basically, it's a bringing ever greater num- funnel that's placed over one bers- of drunk drivers to the ot the subject's eyes for 15 bar of justice—Bill Lawren seconds or so, during which

lime it gathers vapors emit- "Pessimists have already ted by the eye's lachrymal begun to worry about what is fluids. The vapors are then going to replace automation." passed to a gas sensor —John Tudor caruTiruuunn

GIANT ANTEATERS you were to find any bone PUTTING AIDS IN A IN NORTH AMERICA other than the skull of an COMPUTER

anteater," concludes Shaw, "I The giant anteater, a think this particular bone The current version of the creature up to seven feet would be the one to find. It common wisdom on AIDS long, had never been known really nails down the identifi- holds that only education and to live in North America. cation to a giant anteater." the practice of safe sex will Until now. A bone identical lo — Michael Dale slow the spread of the dis- the metacarpal of the mod- ease. But will these dual ern giant anteater, native "Each time we changed our prophylactics work? A new to South America, has been environment, our computer model developed discovered at a site in So- environment changed our at Trinity College in Hartford nora, Mexico. behavior, and our new suggests that the answer The sediments in which behavior demanded a new is a qualified yes. " the fossilized bone was environment. Working with a group of found are 700,000 to 1 million —Laurence J. Peter students, engineering and years old, according to computer science professor Christopher Shaw of the "For most people, watching David Ahlgren used STELLA, George C. Page Museum in teievision may be what a powerful computer model- Los Angeles. The bone, psychotherapists call the ing program, to predict says Shaw, actually was dis- 'presenting symptom,' the what impact safe sex prac- new partners, and increased covered about 15 years visible disturbance that tices, decreased promiscuity, testing could reduce the ago by a La Mesa, California, stands in lor a deeper and expanded testing pro- numbers of infected male couple, who only recently torment, li's possible that grams would have on the homosexuals by as much as decided to bring it to the no- many people, turn to television spread of AIDS. His test pop- 16 percent, and the number tice of a colleague of Shaw's no! in the hope of ulation of 100,000 sexually of deaths in that group by at the San Diego Natural entertainment but in despair, active New Yorkers included 12 percent. A combination of History Museum. after all else has failed." homosexuals and bisexuals, safe sex practices and an The discovery is signifi- —Anatole Broyard heterosexuals, and intrave- ultra-aggressive testing cant, according to Shaw, nous drug users. program (100 percent of the because it indicates that the "The totality is present even The results showed that by population would be tested climate in the Gult of Califor- h the broken pieces." 1996 a combination of safe on an annual basis for the nia (also known as the Sea —Aldous Huxley sex. a significant reduction in presence of AIDS antibodies) of Cortes) 1 million years ago would reduce the number was much more tropical of infected male heterosex- than it is today, And since uals by as much as 32 per- modern giant anteaters live cent. in various tropical climes, the Ahlgren is the first to. admit fossil discovery reveals that that even [his very sophisti- what is now a temperate cated computer model is desert in northern Mexico only as good as the informa- was once teeming with tion that feeds it. "We need vegetation, Shaw believes. more real data." he says, "There had been no evidence "from more real people." large of termite mounds or — Bill Lawren anthills being present" near the Sea of Cortes 1 million "/ believe now that we are all years ago, he says. psychic to some degree As for the fossil itself, Shaw but that some oi us welcome describes the two-and- these experiences, while one-half-inch-long middle others fear them and shut digit of the creature's digging them out." paw as a "neat bone." "If —Vanna White 30 OMNI of Michigan. Caseand Dale . McCullough, research direc- tor and wildlife biologist at the University of California, Berkeley, report that the average doe ate 235 fish during each of three daily trips to the beach. Bucks av- eraged 21.2 fish, The white-tailed deer, according to McCullough, were introduced to the island

in 1926. The first fish die-

offs, meanwhile, began in the late Fifties. Other wildlife biologists say they have never heard, of deer eating meat on a regular basis, although occasional occurrences have been reported. Some- one once spotted a deer eating a dead salmon in a spawning area. "There's even a case in which deer, on the basis of tracks-," explains McCullough, "were presumed to have eaten birds" from an ornithologist's net. He continues: "They

The Raiders in action; Do clothes make the athlete? When il comes know how to-do it [eat meat]: to penalties, black seems to live up to its reputation. They just don't get the oppor-

tunity to do it very often." BAD GUYS WEAR In studying penalty statis- CARN1VOROUS DEER -Michael Dale BLACK tics compiled from 1970 to 1985, the researchers Deer are confirmed vege- It's no wonder football's found five teams in each tarians, But you' would never

Los Angeles Raiders and sport 'with uniforms that were know it by watching the hockey's Philadelphia Flyers at least 50 percent black, white-tailed deer of North have such mean reputations. and all ten were penalty- fvlanitou Island in Lake Michi- They wear black. prone. The Raiders averaged gan each spring. In the first Cornell University psychol- more penalty yards per documented case of its kind, ogist Thomas Gilovich and game than any other NFL two wildlife biologists, writing doctoral candidate Mark team. The Pittsburgh Steelers in the Journal of Mammalogy, Frank have found that pro and Chicago Bears (whose report that deer have been football and hockey teams dark blue uniforms are gulping down alewives by the wearing black uniforms perceived as black) were hundreds as the small, are considered more aggres- among the top five penalized sardinelike fish, which die off sive and are penalized more teams. The Flyers, Pittsburgh each spring and summer, than other teams. In addition. Penguins, and Vancouver wash up on the beach. referees are more than likely Canucks, all black clad, were "I was just amazed." says to characterize aggressive hockey's three most penal- David Case, who first noticed plays as malicious when ized teams. Even more the phenomenon in 1980 players wear black. striking was the transforma- as a student ai the University cDaiTiruuunn

COLD CALCULATION asked to add up sets of j double-digit numbers printed

I One way io stop shivering on a card. "When they do

! on a'ctild winter day may mathematics, shivering shuts

I be to try balancing your off," Pozos says. After they

! checkbook in your head, completed the number

Following up earlier leads, crunching, or if they j were

; physiologists at the University given a blank card, their teeth

I of Minnesota School of clacked as vigorously as Medicine have found that ever. But math may be only

J mental computation consist part of the equation. | ently quells shivering, in sub- you calculate in j "When jects chilled to the bone. your head, you don't breathe

! Chattering teeth are fre- as much," remarks Pozos. quently. in i heard Robert But when shiverers were

. Pozos' hypothermia lab, asked to suck on empty bot- where he and graduate stu- ties to change their respira- j dent Cheryl Klenow are tion rate, the shaking did not studying the way low temper- leaving the mystery j stop,

atures trigger bodily oscilla- "intact. Pozos probably will J"'" I tions like tremors, shakes, have to chill a dorm's worth of

and shivers. Pozos pays students before learning if

students- $25 to dress in it is mind, breath, ora combi-

shorts (and a halter if appro-' nation oi the two that inhibits priate) and lie down on a shivering. — Ivan Amato table in a small, frigid room

:arly an hour, with "I have long considered it electrodes taped over the one of God's greatest various muscles known mercies .that the future is

to quake in the cold. hidden from us. If it were not, When the eight subjects in life would surely be one- recent experiment be- unbearable." MORE LEAN FOR PISA slant is variously blamed on gan to shiver, they were —Eugene Forsey a glacial effect, earthquakes The fabled Leaning Tower over the centuries, sandy of Pisa, which sank out of soil, and seeping water from plumb shortly after construc- the adjacent Arno River. tion was begun in 1172, is The marble tower is -180 now a! least 16 feei out ol the feet high, and the real prob- perpendicular; but no one lem, according to Ascani, in the Italian government is thai no one really knows seems unduly upset. much about the foundation,

"The health of the tower is which is only seven feet good," says Umberto Ascani, deep,. The latest plan is to director of the government sink an immense, stable tourist olfice in Pisa, "We concrete wall around the have more. than one hundred tower and connecf'the foun- years until we see the tower dation to.it by spokes, but really in danger." Nonetheless no one seems in any hurry to the government recently begirt the work. Meanwhile allocated $25 million to keep the tower continues to draw the lucrative tourist attraction as many as 1,000 visitors from tilting any farther. The daily.—George Nob be 32 OMNI — .

VERY OLD FROG

A miner who unearthed the intact remains of a 40-million- year-old Caribbean tree frog from the bowels of the - La Toca amber mines in the Dominican Republic may have unwittingly helped rewrite theories of how and when animal life arrived

in the Caribbean region, The frightening Rigiscan: in the i George 0. Poinar, an insect and apply a squeezing force eve pathologist, and David C. Cannatella, a vertebrate with eyes and some skin, is "axial rigidity"by recording. zoologist at the University of now in an-Ashford, Oregon, the amount of force required California, Berkeley, say bank vault,, valued at $25,000. to make the penis buckle. the inch-long frog with a bro- It will probably go into a While most men view the Next, a. microprocessor- ken hind teg apparently museum collection as the failure to get an erection controlled machine called the died some 20 million years oldest complete frog fossil as an embarrassment, Darrell Rigiscan measured circum- before massive land shifts ever dug up in the Ameri- A. Frohrib of the Mechanical ferential pressure—the formed the island now called cas. —George Nobbe Engineering Department internal pressure' thai keeps Hispaniola and shared by at the University of Minnesota the penis "inflated," some- the republic and Haiti. 'We seem to believe it is sees it as a provocative what like air inside a balloon. "At the same site, we found possible to ward off death by .engineering problem. The machine consists in three bones from another following rules of good . The bugaboo of impotence part of two loops that are " frog, some feathers, and grooming. research, says Frohrib, has slipped around the penile mammalian hair from a ratlike —Don DeLillo been inadequate measure- shaft. When the loops detect creature all embedded in ment of penile erection, a one-centimeter increase pieces of amber," says Poinar: "The trouble with the rat race The methods, used so far in girth, they apply ten ounces He theorizes the frog had is that even if you win, you're have quantified only girth, but of squeezing force every been caught by a bird and still a rat." Frohrib claims circumference ten seconds. The degree to either fell or was dropped Lily Tomiin itself is not the best indicator which the loops are able into the resin that eventually of erection: Rigidity is. to indent the shaft provides a fossilized it during the Eocene This is-where "nonlinear reliable measure of circum- Epoch. Sedimentary rock tissue constitutive" laws ferential rigidity. In this case dating and nuclear magnetic come into' play. In other an IBM PC provided graphic resonance tests- established words, a tumescent member representation of the data. the fossil's age. may look erect but not be Frohrib and his group

Whether ybu believe in the rigid. According to Frohrib, it's "want to-know more about theory of dispersal, which oniy in the last, almost- the tissue laws" that underlie holds that the frog swam to undetectabte. millimeter or erection and "the physical Hispaniola, or vicariance, two of lengthening that constants of. the actuaJ mem- which says it was carried internal penile pressure rises ber" in the hope that this along on the shifting land, it enough to cause stiffness. knowledge will eveniualiy appears that the Caribbean To demonstrate this, Frohrib contribute to the treatment of region had a diverse animal and his colleagues first impotence;— Paul McCarthy population far earlier than brought a subject's penis lo anyone suspected, says erection by infusion of drugs "The author of the Iliad is

Poinar, who admits, "We're and. saline solution. Then either Homer or. if not Homer, creating a lot of puzzles they carefully rammed a somebody else of the same for ourselves here." "buckling force gauge" name."

. — The amber frog, complete against it and measured Aldous Huxley 33 CDfiiTiaiuunn

PICKLED BRONZE AGE He adds that until now, most BUILDING knowledge of the period has been derived from exca-

Although ii lasted some vations of burial sites and 1,500 years, so little is known from studying outlines of about Britain's Bronze Age wooden building's left by that historians have dubbed it postholes — since wooden the black hole of British structures built thousands of history. Bui a recently discov- years ago normally have ered 3,000-year-old building long since disintegrated, from that era, found pickled Burns thinks the pickled in a peat bog near Peterbor- prehistoric building could add ough in eastern England, "a substantial amount of may soon help till in some of knowledge to the little bit of the historical gaps. data we have about the According to archaeologist domestic surroundings of the Francis Pryor, who led the British Bronze Age." excavation, the remains —Sherry Baker of the building were found 30 feet under a Roman road, "The world stands aside to let in waterlogged ground: "We anyone pass' who knows think it is potentially one of where he is going," the best-preserved prehistoric —David Starr Jordan finds in Europe," Pryor says. "To have wood survive three "Cynicism is an unpleasant thousand years is most way of saying the truth" unusual, and we estimate —Lillian Hellman that there-are about four million pieces of prehistoric "Behind every successful timber on the site." man is a surprised woman." So far, the remains of a —Maryon Pearson ioicgm'. building about 20 feet wide and 60 feet long, constructed PUSSYCAT WARRIORS lowing conclusion: Far from are on top and the United with heavy timbers laid being bloodthirsty psycho- States is the number-one across wooden posts, have Ever been to a Soldier of paths, many of these Rambo country in the world." been uncovered. The struc- Fortune convention? You'd clones are actually a bunch The rate of violence among ture was part of a settlement see a lot of apparently mean of fantasy-ridden pussycats, the Soldier of Fortune types, built on two acres of land. dudes in camouflage and Ear more interested in dress- Gibson says, is "probably Covering the floor ot the combat gear, swapping ing up to play war than in tiny." The real search, he building are objects— includ- stories about their latest mer- actually fighting one. thinks, is tor ersatz adventure: ing pottery, flint debris, cenary forays in Angola, in "These men," Gibson and lor the mock mercenar- seeds, pollen, and animal the meantime pumping explains, "see the warrior as ies, the real adventure is bones— that may help histo- themselves up for the next the epitome of manhood. in attending the conventions. rians piece together what war. Not exactly fertile ground So going to a Soldier of "What's ironic," he says, "is life was like in ancient Britain. lor academic analysis. Fortune convention is like a that the convention is really a

"We know relatively little Yet sociologist William true rite of passage for would- controlled environment, a about this period because Gibson of Soulhern Methodist be warriors." In a broader sort of package tour."

1 there is no literature from University has. been attend- sense Gibson sees all this —Bill Lawren Britain's Bronze Age, no writ- ing these shindigs" for three posturing as "a way of re- ten descriptions of what years, doing research for deeming the American defeat "We should distrust any life was like," notes Tom a book on the making of the in Vietnam and trying to enterprise that requires new Burns, professor of ancient paramilitary mind. And restore a mythic world order clothes," history at Emory University, Gibson has come to the fol- in which whites and males —Henry David Thoreau 34 OMNI IH HOB HHB I IHHflHHH HKb i^SaS^HH-B. 9££8l tights of fancy, leaps of faith,

PARADISE TOSSED what Oscar Wilde meant when he said, "A Max Headroom, mul- Utop a thai yo.i r e will ng :o share with us 9 map of the world that does not include timedia megastar: Max: For cenf.L, ries ocoplo -isve made per- Utopia is not worth glancing at." Elie Wie- Omni: How real is sonal pursuits for Utopia. Some thought

sel. Grace Slick, David Rockefeller— lo Utopia for you, Max? they'd found it after being invited on the name just a lew ol our Utopians are wildly Well, of course, — Max: Johnny Carson show. But I know that the diverse, yet they all possess certain com- in the end Utopia may cruel reality of life is that there is no Utopia,

mon characteristics. They know what it be just a dream, an ideal. Rather like seeing unless you're a Tibetan monk or you've means to strive tor ideals in their own lives. a gentle, soft female lead not played by been invited back on Johnny Carson. Their goals might have seemed impossi- Meryl Streep, or a Lotto commercial not The answer doesn't lie in computers or ble to them, but each has achieved a re- bellowed at you by Robin Leach." But in giving away all your money to a Chinese markable record of accomplishments. everyone should dream, and my Utopia guru in Gary, Indiana, and certainly not in Explore these imaginary common- would be full of love, peace, and the reality sending a check for five hundred dollars

wealths, enjoy the landscapes, ponder the that kids who appear in breakfast-cereal to a weeping televangelist. Utopia also is options. At least relax in paradise long commercials would be sent to special not a place, although that's something al- enough to envision your own perfect place. schools to become normal again. most impossible to explain to Calilornians! After all, the vision is first summoning the Omni: What changes would you make to I think Utopia may be a state of mind, and

step in bringing it to life. achieve your Utopia? it doesn't have io be unbalanced. Max: I'd get rid of most electric sockets I Coretta Scott King, (except one) so anything powered by Stephen Jay Gould, president and CEO of electricity, like yogurt makers, contact-lens pro lessor at Harvard IheMartinLutherKing sterilizers, Michael and Jackson, would be University: I want to be Center for Nonviolent useless. This may sound reactionary, but back six hundred mil-

Social Change: My I'm all in favor of returning lo the natural lion years ago. in the

I personal vision is a order of things—for example, being able midst of an episode moral vision tor Utopia. In his famous 1963 to buy a hit single without having to buy called the Cambrian explosion, an in- "I Have a Dream" speech, my husband, the whole album, or buy one item in a tensely interesting time when all the mod- Martin Luther King, Jr., awakened the supermarket and not have to stand in fine ern groups of organisms made their first slumbering conscience of America with his behind somebody purchasing a month's appearance' in the fossil record. I could of magnificent dream justice, equality, and provisions for an entire football team. happily spend the rest of my life studying brotherhood for all people. Omni: In Utopia, what capabilities would the world's first multicellular fauna.

As we move toward the new millennium, you have that you don't have now? If we really want to understand the evo- we must advocate a bold new vision of a Max: The ability to completely abolish pov- lution of cognition, of thinking, we need to world starvation where and hunger will not erty. I was also going to say the capability see people before us, talk to a Neander- be tolerated on any continent, a world of earning a little more money myself, but thal person —they're our closest collateral lives where no child in fear of a nuclear then I thought, How many more Mediter- cousins. Bring back Homo erectus and holocaust or suffers the ravages of war and ranean islands do I actually need? some of the australopilhecines. I'm sure you militarism. We must create a world where Omni: Do you see Luorjia simply as a place could talk to a Neanderthal. They probably valuable resources are no longer squan- lo seek fun and pleasure? would have very different capacities. They dered on the instruments of death but are Max: ll's a mistake to see Utopia as a sin had no arts as far as we know—no repre- creatively harnessed for economic devel- bin, a moral waste dump, a continuous orgy sentational art, despite the richness of the opment and opportunity. of indulgence. ancient thought The Romans later Cro-Magnon art. There's a lot I could In this beloved community racism and they had discovered that kind of Utopia, talk about, ask them, and tell them. So yes, sexism have consigned lo the refuse been look at the Italians I and now; a race of lu- know exactly what I would like to see in history, heaps of and every child of Earth natic drivers and butt pinchers. my Utopia. And you can throw in a tyran- is well nourished, well educated, and well Omni: So are you saying that you wouldn't nosaurus or two. loved. There is no ruthless exploitation of trust Italians in your Utopia? And because this is my Utopia, let me people or the environment. Freedom, hu- Max: I wouldn't trust them' in my backyard, bring back soirs histcica pe-'sons. I'd love rights, man and dignity are honored under but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have Ihern to have a long chat with Charles Darwin. all flags, all and people are free from the in my Utopia or that I don't like them. They I'd like to be in the same room when Frank- bondage of fear and hatred. have great warmth, energy, and charisma: lin and Jefferson discussed iberty; when If we sow the seeds of justice and equal- and as an internationalist Utopian I'd have Darwin, Lyell, Huxfey, and Hooker dis- ity, we will reap a bountiful harvest of world people along from every race. Even Bel- cussed biology; when Lenin and Trotsky peace. We will awaken to the dawning of a gians, who could learn a but! pinch or two discussed revolution. new day when poverty, racism, and vio- in the charisma department. I'd get rid of mosquitoes from the envi- lence no longer rule the earth. It will be a ronment—the world would do fine without glorious day for humankind. The morning "Is it altogether a Utopian dream that once them—and smog over Los Angeles, slush stars will sing together, and the children of in history a ruling class might be willing to in Boston, defecating dogs in cities. God will shout for joy. make the great surrender and permit so- What I would really like to change, if you

I know that some this cial change would say that Uto- to come about without hatred, allow me Utopia, is human misery— of pian vision of a caring and sharing world turmoil, and waste of human life?" which there is so much. I'd like to see men- community is unrealistic. But a few dec- —Upton Sinclair, The Way Out tal illnesses cured so people don't have to ades ago there were plenty of skeptics who suiter the miseries of depressions, schizo- scofled at the idea that man could plant the Omni: Would presence of computers phrenia. I would like to see cures for child- the tiniest genes on chromosomes or that be expanded in your Utopia? hood retardations and disabilities. I'd like man would venture into space. I believe Max: Yes. Making presents of computers to see painful disease controlled. that it we are willing to work and pray and is. something I'm all in favor of, and in fact And the most important aspect of my sacrifice enough, our moral development if they were a bit smaller they would make Utopia: decent lives for ordinary people. can catch up with our technological prog- very nice stocking stuffers. Of course, with That's all. Give me that. ress. With such 'a. commitment, I believe all the human inactivity that will result from My Utopian world would have absolute ' with all of my heart and soul that the be- computers, stockings will probably disap- respect for fact, and therefore science loved community is not only an achievable pear completely, along with legs. would have to have a very important goal but an inevitable one. Omni:. Do you have any other thoughts on place— but not for destructive ends. As 38 OMNI I

,: soon as I had instituted universal disar- waiting -or wo cl peace Tar would last uniil meaning peace h the world, brotherhood,

mament, I'd take all the money I'd saved the end of time. I'm satisfied if two people no more death, no more fear of death, no

from the military budget and use it for ed- are at peace for a day, a month. That is more hunger, no more slavery, almost no

ucation, food, shelter—to provide a de- miraculous. I might look for small miracles more work. In the Book of Isaiah we are cent life for everyone. in Utopia: Children would noi die of hun- told the lamb and wolf, the calf and young My world also would be more zealous ger: weak people would not become the lion, live together; justice and righteous-

about defending ecosystems and spe- victims of the strong, prisoners would no! ness prevail: the earth is full of the knowl- cies. I'd certainly not allow the clear-cut- be humiliated in official government pris- edge of the Lord.

ting of the Brazilian Amazon, ihat's for sure. ons, right-wing or left-wing. It's not too much in the Jewish tradition the emphasis is And I'd protect the gene pool. So give me to ask that the dignity of a human being on waiting for the Messiah. But the vision the Cambrian explosion, the tyrannosau- should be respected. of the coming Messiah also has a present

rus, the Neanderthals, and the Homo When we protest against injustice, by force: to bring people, even if it's only one erectus and the aust/alopithecines. Be- amplifying our moral comment and moral or two people, closer to that coming, to what yond that, give me the opportunity for commitment, we do help others, even if we you call Utopia. The suffering person, everyone to fulfill whatever they want to do, do not free a prisoner. At least they know plunged in misery and despair, suddenly a decent life for everyone, respect for fac- that they are not alone. Simply to know that finds consolation simply because another tual truth— nice world. we are not alone when we die or wait tor person looks at him or her and takes their death or punishment—that. is something, hand. That is something.

I Elie author. Wiesel, that is Utopia. But that's not big. I have said that a good Hasidic story is educator, philoso- The central vision, the most important not about miracles but about friendship and

pher, winner of the message I would communicate, is that we hope, the greatest miracles of all. They are are all I 1986 Nobel Peace princes. That comes from the Bible. almost interchangeable. There would be no Prize: In war years, We are all sovereign. friendship without hope, and no hope with-

I another piece of If there were to be required reading in out friendship. bread is Utopia. In war years, to sleep half my Utopia—beyond the religious texts— The sages, the rabbis, asked for a great an hour later is Utopia. In war years, not to would teach literature about children and deal at limes but always from the individual die is Utopia. Utopia is a vague concept. by children. Every single society boasts person. They did not have a grandiose vi-

By definition a Utopia cannot be imple- great works by and about children. I also sion of saving the whole world— south, mented. So why play around with it as a want Buddhists, Christians, and Jews to west, east, north. We are waiting. This is possibility? But more important, it's also come sit down and talk to one another. The not the same as dreaming about a Utopia. about asking for too much. People who ask main issue is tolerance. It requires a different, more balanced re- for too much— they try to save human- Utopia hasn't played a role in my lite. But sponse. While we wait for the Messiah, kind—forget individuals. the whole history, the whole story, the whole there are many things to do. And the bear- I'm a minimalist. I'm satisfied with small vision of my aspiration to messianism. that ing in mind that we are waiting changes miracles, with daily miracles. I'm no longer is realty what you would call Utopia— what we do now.

'asch the individuals listed in the left-hand

1, David Rockef

2. Michael Harrington sne would be mentally ill in myUti . involuntary psyciiain:: admission would be abolished,

• 3. Christina it Crawford . C. I'd .get rid of moslelectricsockets(ex one). Michael Jackson would be useless,

4. : Steve Wozniak ___ . D, Required reading in my Utopia would ude the class'cs. :he 3>o e. -J.':; of poetry, and my books.

5. Oprah Winfrey . E. I would forbid r;^ii is any candidate to buy Xe sion time. The ion,; re Ser,;-jle sn abomination. .

'6. Max Headroom . F. I'd show ladiei who don't know how to pul makeup on properly hew to look iheir prettiest.

" 7. Elie Wiesel G. Music moves _is reward Utopia, unless r inner Gere gels oui e.l (irss. I'd also like to save the pandas.

8. Grace Slick H. Each Student would start carryino, a lu'ieh-iiov-size computer.

9. Thomas- Szasz I. In war years any!!-.*-:, piece r/ ij-oaci is Utopia.

'. : .- 1 'iiv :::: ,1. 1 j r 10. Roy Rogers 1 „ rnmrnunity of responsible adu ts wouid raise the children.

11. Tammy Pays Bakker K. i;d like a Pope who'd deal wisely with birth control, the marriage or ones;?, and ordination of women.

12. LinaWertmulier _ L Successful, gi luld demand the s, :'are and energy <-i=. any successful bigness enterprise.

'

13. Mister Rogers _ M. I would be doing a talk d continuing my work as an actress.

14. Rita Mae Brown _ N, Homophobia wouldn't e 'ivy iji:j:..;e

15. .Linda -Elierbee _ Q, It's tun to envision Utopi nd I'd direct it, of course

16. HansKQng. _ .R I'd fike to ask the characters in th- ;ighborhood of make-believe about their vsior

17. Harvey Rerstein' .. Q. As o reoorter . el say, «a: si'ow your Utopia, and I'll lix ill"' = . = = l = 13 ANSWERS:1=L, 2 E,3 J, H, 5=M, S C, 7=1, 8=Q, 9=8, 1C \, 11 =E 12 = 0, -R 14 = D; 15 = 0, 16 = K. 1 a

raise the children in my Utopia. Kids would Rita Mae Brown, au- Mister Rogers, host of Neigh- grow up with a variety of ideas and per- thor: The Amish come Mister Rogers' sonalities but with a sense of stability and close to my idea of borhood: I think about

belonging to a basic unit. I would value Utopia, except for two Utopia in relation to kids. spontaneity, honesty, curiosity, and normal problems: the status ot how I feel about everyone exploration of boundaries. I women and the desire What does to think and ex- fee! loved and lovable. If we We would teach children to shut out the rest of the world. But their long for? To memorize; to un- live of somebody else, we'd plore ideas rather than to sense of community and productivity, of could inside We'd derstand themselves, their bodies, their sharing and caring for each other, are know that everyone wants to be loved. start from a place of com- im- also know what hampers other people, be- feelings, so they splendid models. I always have been their child- fort from within. pressed by their view that they shall not be cause we would know about they are In my society the most important pur- controlled by machines. hood, what made them the way will to is the accuser the pose of each person's life be de- have absolutely outland- today. 1 think the Devil — I want to some others without knowing velop himself or herself to the fullest extent ish and extravagant things in my Utopia: spirit that judges we possible. Utopia, for me, means a place to peace on Earth and goodwill to people. Is them is the real evil. For instance, since think of evolve, a place io find balance. We need I will never that really so extravagant or outlandish? worked in Moscow. validate both the masculine and the I think to to live forever. Russians in generalized terms again. Also I would like everyone in this Victor, Tatyana, Nona, and all the feminine. Masculine values dominate Life is exciting even when it's painful, and of Lucy, society— a society that is primarily run on leave the party. people who worked with us. I don't want to running into serious, if could have greed—and we are Political office would be based on a lot- It would be wonderful we signs are our eyes opened to deep and hidden lev- serious trouble. The danger tery. If your number is drawn to be mayor truth ourselves and about life everywhere—in trade, health, economics, for four years, you're the mayor. In my Uto- els of about able live inside the plight of the homeless, the proliferation pia the criminally insane, sociopaths, psy- itself. The idea of being to other—this is Utopia, so any- of nuclear weapons. chopathic liars, con people, mass murder- of each my would be revolutionary. We claim that we have values, but we ers, rapists, and thieves would be put on a thing is possible— though the values are part of else, I might don't act as I lived ot someone big island. Given all the tools necessary to If inside values, and that person is glum or why our lives. We in fact have other survive, they would have to create their own understand why all about power and money. The legalize drugs for that person rubs me the wrong way. That they are society. I also would to admit these would lead to peace. It cer- yuppies are the only ones people over eighteen, even though I de- understanding values. Now they are finding out thai power spise drugs and alcohol. Why should or- tainly would lead to coziness. and money hold enormous pitfalls, and the ganized crime make billions of dollars on only when burnout factor with some of these hotshots drugs and not pay taxes on them? My lib- "All the Utopias will come to pass have a productive life like to we grow wings and all people are con- is stupendous. They ertarian views are limited: I would up until about thirty-five years of age. What shoot any human being who sells dope to verted into angels." —Fyodor Dostoyevski (Diary) the hell is that? a person under the age of eighteen. It's beyond crime: It's a loathsome horror. Christina Crawford, David Rockefeller, it difficult as possible 1 would make as founder of the Survi- chairman of the board for people to get married— as difficult as it Network (a na- of the Rockefeller once was to get a divorce. And childhood vors tional organization for Group and the Rock- will be as long or short as the child wants. were efeller Brothers Fund: Latin would be mandatory in school. Re- adults who abused as children): I certainly do not have quired reading in my Utopia would be Ho- restored to any divine wisdom on how to create a Uto- mer, Aristophanes, the Bible. Shake- In my Utopia women would be position as community heal- pia. America is rich in natural resources, speare, lots of wonderful poetry from the their ancient our greatest natural re- until the Mid- but I am convinced ancient past and the present. ers, a position that existed up .would encouraged to source is our generosity of spirit and sub- Life otherwise would be very much like dle Ages. People be Americans are the most generous I'd participate in their own health care from stance. it is now— only I'd be rich, rich, rich. children. people on Earth. Thinking about Utopia is, truly holidays—any reason the time they were very little And make holidays each involved in the produc- to my mind, a unique opportunity for for celebration would do. Everyone would people would be every of us to explore and de- I also and one get one day a year to create their own hol- tion of at least a portion of their food. horses could not again velop this gift. iday and surprise their close friends and see no reason why toward more Utopian state catnip be a common mode of transportation. I To move a relatives. I would throw a glorious synthetic clothes. we would need increased creativity, better party for the cats of the world on my birth- would do away with the performing and vi- cooperation, sharper management, and a day, November twenty-eighth. Creativity in both sual arts would honored. But there public education campaign to increase In my Utopia spiritual values would be be Utopia be- citizen awareness of how important giving intensely personal, and people wouldn't would be no Hollywood in my doesn't embody any is and how much more is required. Truly inflict their ideas on each other. Emphati- cause "Hollywood Hollywood treats the indi- satisfying giving usually involves signifi- cally, no one would make money off of spir- Utopian ideal. with respect than any other sys- cant personal involvement, time, and ef- itual ideas. Piety is like garlic: A little goes vidual less except perhaps the mil- fort. And in a true Utopia successful giving a long way. The single facet of my own na- tem I can thinkof, the care, creativity, mem- itary. Hollywood is about power and would demand same ture that I would change is my good energy, and effort as does any successful to happiness is misplaced spirituality. You have to be ory. I think one of the keys somebody. Ac- business enterprise, a bad memory. greater than human to be

our nation must preserve and . tually it's a sad indication of how much we I think

if strengthen a policy framework that en- ". oi social justice need spiritual development, because . . the Utopian dreams respected for them- courages the generation of wealth, be- in which many contemporary socialists and each person were fewer who cause you can't give away what you don't anarchists indulge are analogous to the selves, there would be people to become a fantasy have—the first axiom of philanthropy. It is saint's- belief in an existent kingdom of thought that they had equally vital that our citizens maintain the heaven. They help to break the edge of the in order to be accepted. entrepreneurial spirit that has made Amer- general reign of hardness and are slow Because we have held on to the family " in reality ica great. A favorable climate for private leavens of a better order. in nostalgia— it doesn't exist — economic growth is key to our —William Jrirnes community of responsible adults would initiative and CON"INUL J ON PAGE 96 E N G L A KNOWN FOR ITS SENSE OF TRADITION

THE GIN OF ENGLAN6. AND THE WORLD. N'S OGORDON & CO. LTD., LONDON, ENGLAND LICENSE OF TANQUERAY PRODUCED IN USA UNDER """ 1D0» NEUTF-IA.. SPIRITS D;SliJFD=FDr,'CMA\ SO P=:C'OF GCRDCi-.' S

A HANDFUL OF HORROR

Guilt grips the human mind like a powerful vise.

It can turn even the simplest of dreams into a complex nightmare

AND BLOOD—By Edward Bryan! listened to the pipes cough, waited for the water to turn SKINHeinst Bremer levered his tired and aching old a temperature cooler than tepid. body up from the equally decrepit Barcalounger. As he filled the glass, he could feel the nerve endings his arms. He Tumbled for trie plastic vial ot nerve pills that tingling in his fingers, the palms of his hands, pill soon, the tingling customarily sat on the TV tray by Ihe chair's arm. It was He knew that if he didn't swallow a to searing pain. The dark in the living room, though the man knew that the sun would itch unbearably, then turn would generate agony. It had been this must still be high outside. Bremer habilually kept the slightest touch drapes drawn. He needed a lamp. The bulbs in the over- way for years. His doctor told him it would be this way medically. head fixture were always burning out, and Bremer no until he died. There was nothing to be done longer desired the risk of standing on a rickety kitchen The war. That was how he had laconically explained chair to replace them. He tound the container of pills be- the complaint to his doctor. The war. The doctor had nod- neath the chair The faded Burger King Bullwinkle glass ded sympathetically and probed no further. mouth, took a bit of was empty; he must have drunk all the water before fall- Bremer pul the nerve pill in his ing asleep. He turned toward the kitchen door and shuf- water, moistened Ihe pill, rolling it over with his tongue, Some- fled to the sink. He loathed being old and frail. He de- greedily sucked in more water, and swallowed. pill would hang up in his throat and lested the lack of control. It was not good being a retired day, he feared, the quickly, immigrant grocer in America. Bremer turned to the spigot, choke him. Not today The sticky lump went down

"PAINTING BY CHARLES PFAHL leaving a sweet residue on his tongue. The not, of course, lor the prisoners. beside the I V tray. I ho intruder was about

man waited a minute for the pill to take ef- Bremer devised the rules on the spot. All twelve, slender and clean-limbed, his skin fect, then turned and walked slowly back the cooks were handed razor-sharp bon- dark and glowing like polished hardwood. into the darkness of the living room. ing knives as the guards hefted their He was naked His wid hair was black and He found the lamp in a sidewalk sale Schmeissers significantly. Nonplayers curly. His eyes were equally dark as they outside the lanai apartment building in the would be shot on the spot. So would moth- scrutinized Bremer sharply. middle of the next block. He had been out ers who cried out or moved from where the "Do you remember me?" said the boy. walking in the bright California sunshine— guards had placed them by the tables. On "Or my mother?" his doctor's orders. Bremer searched des- command, the players, would start to re- Bremer said nothing,—staring. ultorily through the junk— broken tape move the skin from the flesh, and the flesh "I'd have expected " said the boy. His

players, warped albums, chipped mirrors. from the bones of the six children on the voice dropped off. "No matter I suppose

And then he saw the lamp. It was a some- tables. The a n both the corpses all looked alike to you after a what old-fashioned table lamp with an or- speed and style. They would receive bo- while. Even the ones skinned and dressed

nate, if tarnished, brass base. Fastened to nus points for the length of time their sub- like dead hares." the 'Single bulb with a tension clip was a jects lived. Winners would receive extra Bremer found his voice. "Who are you?" dark tan cylindrical shade. The leathery rations on Christmas. Losers would be ren- The boy shifted hs weight face solemn.

material had been laced to the wire frame dered incapable of enjoying the holiday at 'Just one of too many, I expect." with darker thongs. all. Bremer ordered the contest to begin. Bremer felt the telltale prickling starting

It will do, Bremer thought. "How much?" Soon the cries of some of the cooks were in his fingertips, the ominous feeling mov- he said to the dark, ancient woman scru- nearly as loud as those of the prisoners on ing up his arms toward his trunk. He started

tinizing the passersby with gimlet eyes. the tables. Fortunately the shed was far fumbling for the bottle of nerve pills. "I sup- "Five dollar," said the woman. Irorn the other quarters, and the night wind pose," said Bremer, "you are a Jew?"

"Too much. I'll give you two." swallowed up screams. Two ol the cooks "Hardly." The boy shook his head.

"Three dollar." She said it with obvious didn't last more than 'he 'irst minute. Each "You are a young recruit from Mossad?

boredom, as if her heart were not in the Your nudity is an odd uniform." bargaining game. "No."

"Two fifty." "Aren't you here with your Iriends to drag "Okay." The woman's lips showed the me in chains back to Israel for trial? Or will trace of a smile. you shoot me right here?" 4/-fe could feel the / jewed her down, Bremer thought. "I "Hush, old man," said the boy irritably. don'l suppose you would deliver this nerve endings tingling in his "Do I have to explain everything? Don't you lamp?" The woman looked at him as though recall the memory you just relived?" fingers, the palms of she had suddenly lost the gift of English. "I "The dream?" thought not," he said. Mongrel bitch. his hands, his arms. He knew "Mo dream. Unless you think it my night- He. gave her two tattered dollar bills and mare and that of my fellow prisoners and that if he didn't a pair of worn quarters. When he picked their mothers."_ swallow a pill soon, the tingling up the lamp by its shade and the base, it "This is craziness," said Bremer. He seemed to Bremer that the thing was far would itch unbearably, started to search tor the pill vial in earnest. hotter than even sitting in the San Fer- "That was craziness," said the boy. then turn to searing pain3 nando Valley sun warranted. "You are a Jew!" That night he sat in his lounger in the "Don't be a bore, old man. There were center of a pool of golden light cast by the twenty million of us, you know. Not just the new lamp. The bulb even worked. He six million Juden. The others are not my squinted through bifocals and could make concern. My grief is saved 'or the one mil- out the small print in the Herald-Examiner. was shot through the head. The young lion of my people."

When Bremerfinished the retrospective on prisoners on the tables screamed and . 'A mere million?" said Bremer. "I still don't the Klaus Barbie travesty in France, he dis- cried. Five of the mothers did likewise, and understand." gustedly set the paper down on his lap and died. One mother cursed. Silently. The "The Romany," said the boy. "You leaned back. Would there be no end of it? bright crimson of f layed Mesh and the gleam hounded us as doggedly as all the rest. People's memories were simply too long. of freshly exposed bone all shone moistly We ignored your rules, paid no attention to Then he fell asleep. He dreamed one of in the unshaded lights. your borders. You envied our freedom." the memories he had not dreamed in a long "Gypsies," said Bremer disdainfully. while. It was- what he had called the de- Heinst Bremer jerked awake, the long- "The People," said the boy. "Some of us boning contest on Christmas Eve, 1944. It ago night before Christmas Nlling his mind were doubly cursed." had been a bitterly cold Bavarian night, the with cries and blood. The living room was "I still don't understand this." Bremer tell evening of a day in which Berlin had in- dark now. It shouldn't be. Maybe the bulb panic beginning to creep through his brain. creased his load of paperwork by a quan- in the new lamp-had burned out. Perhaps Where were his pills7 He could feel the pain tum jump. Herr Dr. Bremer was out of sorts. the bulb was merely loose. starting :o stir jusi bene a in his skin. Holidays usually did this to him. He Fumbled in the darkness, reaching "You are looking for this?" said the boy.

Even after the incident happened, for the lamp, carefully trying to lind it with- Still naked, he seemed to be more hirsute Bremer was never quite sure why he had out knocking the damnable thing over. than a minute before. He held up the older drawn all the participants together. He re- He touched human skin, warm flesh, and man's vial of pills. membered going out to the frigid barracks jerked- his hand away breath expelling with "Yes!" Bremer lunged past the bare lamp, ?" with some of the rougher guards to pick a hiss from his lungs. "Who— atte'Tpr.ing to snatch the medicine. six children of approximately equal sizes There was a sharp click, and the lamp "No." The I I I i I jldinn the i and physiques, along with their mothers. came on. It was not the gentle golden ra- pills just in front of Bremer's lace. "Do you Then they had gone to the deserted stor- diance he recalled from earlier in the eve- know," he said, "that this is the night of the age shed and tied the child prisoners se- ning. This was a bright, unshaded glare, full moon? The harvest moon?" curely down, spread-eagled across the the illumination Throwing everything in the "Give me [he pills," said Bremer. heavy worktables. Other guards brought room into harsh relief. Bremer squinted, "No," the boy said again. "The reaping in six camp cooks, prisoners also. The willing his eyes to adjust. moon." Bremer saw that the other's fingers schnapps had flowed freely that night, but He saw a beautiful boy-child standing. had sprouted raggec n adei ke nails. The : boy's jaw was longer and narrower now, fondly before handing it over. Only the most in say ng thai he real. zed Ihc absurdity of wiih his sharp while teeth gleaming in the select of customers looked inside to see being self-obsessed, as he considered bare bulb's glare. :he ragged line ol small blue numbers tat- himself "an ordinary fellow." But what could

"Please," said Bremer tooed ,3 ! onc one neatly su;ched seam. he do about it? He woke up most mornings The boy just laughed, a barking, baying around five, and within seconds could be sound that spiraled upward like a howl. THE LEGLESS A in a sweat of fear. Fear of what? Of knowing "The time for mercy is long past," he said. By Patricia Highsmith or sensing too much about himself. Fear of 'Ask my friends and their mothers. No Richard Thurman realized that in the eyes death, of his end, of pain to come followed charity now. Only memory." of other people there was something the by nothingness, fear of the possible un- Bremer felt his nerve endings start to tin- matter with him. In his own eyes fie was reality of life and at the same lime fear of gle as though brushed w'ln electricity. He merely troubled, sometimes depressed. the reality of it. Was his a word problem? needed those pills. The boy closed his Other people, such as his wife. Barbara, Thurman asked, and the psychiatrist re- hand, and the vial with its contents crushed were worried about him because they plied. "No," calmly, as if he had the expla- into powder. "Now," he said, "a loving little couldn't understand what was wrong. What nation and would in time disclose it. Thur- 'bite, and then another, and a thousand to bothered him had to do with conscious- man went on to say that he had made a follow. As many as it takes. Perhaps twenty ness, Thurman said to his -wile Further than drawing, first with a ballpoint pen, then million." His eyes blazed like bare electric that it was difficult for Thurman to go, His more carefully wiih a pencil— of a form like lamps. Heinst Bremer turned and broke for sleep had become erratic, so Thurman a three-dimensional A, but without the bot- the door. But he was old and slow, and he agreed that he should see a doctor. tom legs or supports and with a triangular never made it. No one but the Gypsy boy A doctor tested his blood, heart, and so aperture as had the capital A. Thurman and he heard the twenty million screams. on and found nothing abnormal. His weight said that he had the feeling that this mas- was also normal. The doctor suggested a sive shape was himself, the image of him- There being no known next ot kin, Heinst psychiatrist. Thurman, forty-eight, a self just as much as, say. the picture of him- Bremer's worldly possessions were given graphics designer and earning nicely (with over to [he management of the apartment a twenty-year-old son at Yale who was also 'And what worries you so much about building and eventually found their way to doing well), and happily married, uttered this?" asked the psychiatrist, Dr. Murray. a sidewalk sale conducted by a small, dark, some five hundred words nonstop about Thurman took a few seconds before re- sad-eyed woman. his symptoms. The psychiatrist had his re- plying. "I worry because it's like something

On a brittle, cloudless day in December, cording machine on; otherwise he might I shouldn't know— like a secret— about

it very close to the Christian holiday, bargain not have caught all. The essence was myself. I wish I didn't know this." Thurman

r hunters had the opportunity to pick up and that Thurman felt obsessed and op- said this in a de'ibera elv I oht tone. examine an ornate brass table lamp. Some pressed by what he called "himself," or a "But then"— Dr. Murray, a man of about looked at it, but only one possessed the sense of the uniqueness of his personality sixty, of slow and thoughtful mien,— seemed curiosity to thoroughly examine the darkly or identity. Thurman admitted to being to be weighing his words now "what's so tanned shade. The old woman touched it bored with it and was glad to show humor depressing about your vision, or this im- age of the A?"

"I see it as all of my existence! It's also my death —all my little life, fifty, sixty years or what I'm due, plus my appearance and smell and stamina and fate — everything

particular to me. I sense all this at five in

the morning, for instance, and I get scared. That's why I'm here." As soon as Thurman had said this to the slowly scribbling Dr. Murray, he fell naive, even stupid, because he was paying a hundred and eighty dol- lars for this less- than -an- hour session, spilling his beans to this stranger, just be- cause the strangoi had a degree, an M.D. plus a psychiatry degree. How could an- other human, thanks to a few books which Thurman granted he may not have read himself, remark on what he was saying? What -was he saying? Thurman cleared his throat. He couldn't say ho wanted to get rid of his triangle or even of his thoughts on the subject, because that would be like saying that he wanted to get rid of himself. "I'd like to be no", so obsessed with this," Thurman said finally.

"If you really want that." said Dr. Murray, looking up with a friendly smile "you'll have

it. Whal's stopping you? This may be a temporary— image. Like a recurring

dream. You've had it about six months; well, a doctor's' just told you you're in good

health, You feel well, you said. It isn't even hampering your work." True, and Thurman had said that. "Try taking a lighter attitude," said Dr. Murray, "that this particular image is not going to harm you — just because it's you. 50 OMNI Remember, you're doing well in every de- but the black emptiness swirled and awkward smile and thrust the rest of his partment of your life!" throbbed, making him tense with fear. His paper money into the woman's hand. She Richard Thurman, sitting in a chair, heartbeats shook him, You will die, vanish, thanked him in Spanish. Thurman felt shifted his feet a little. He hadn't said that and there'll be nothing but blackness and slightly happier as he walked away from the legless A was going to harm him, silence. Snuffed out you'll be. Noteven the her and the child, as if he had made con- merely that it seemed ominous. "The tri- blackness, the ringing silence of now, will tact with the human race. angular shape, "Thurman began again, as exist for you Who are you, you ask? Many You are still you, condensed, heavy, like the time was running out, "is just a symbol, men before you have felt exactly the same an elixir. Neither good nor bad, merely

I realize, a shape I think of now and then. as you feel now. Who are you? This last commonplace, destined to sutler from the What troubles me is a much more frequent question seemed posed by a silent voice, usual—a few unhappy love affairs, tooth- awareness of my personality—or self." yet Thurman knew that it was an idea of his ache, flu, maybe prostate pains. And so

"But aren't we all aware of our person- own. What Thurman hated now was the your little life. . . The silent interior voice alities— pretty much?" thump of his heartbeat, which he could hear faded, stopped pushing its message into Pretty much? Thurman meant that he felt despite some early morning traffic noises Thurman's consciousness, and in its place a\vare of his own soul but didn't want to beyond the window. came the legless triangle of gray stone, use the word soul because it sounded re- Thurman got gently out of bed. dressed, heavy as a pyramid. Thurman shook his ligious, unrealistic. "Yes," Thurman con- and in about five minutes was out of the head with impatience, but the triangle did ceded. The psychiatrist and his wisdom house. He walked downtown. He was free not budge. Now he was looking out on a had collapsed like a balloon for Thurman, now, he told himself, of the thoughts which, cooler, broader scene: the East River from and he was bored and discouraged at the when he lay in bed, had made him feel so the Queensboro Bridge, little barges and end of the session. cramped and powerless—and frightened. tugs pushing purposefully through the gray

Thurman described the session to his Now he could lift his arms, jog a few steps, water, traffic buzzing behind him, noise, wife when he got home that evening. "He look around and see a variety of images: activity everywhere. With a slight jump and took an optimistic attitude. So I will, too. other people, windows, buildings, cars. Bui using both hands, Thurman cleared the rail,

Maybe there's nothing at all to worry about." found himself tottering on a projecting gir- Empty words, Thurman thought, but empty der, but why hesitate? He had a will made and polite words make the world go round. out; Barbara would have no problems, no Thurman loved his wife and didn't want to financial ohes, at least. These thoughts upset her. They were then drinking a pre- flashed through his mind and vanished. dinner tomato juice. Barbara was a secre- Q>ThB following Thurman jumped, again not making a tary in an insurance firm They both helped dawn, it came again. When clean leap, because one foot struck some- with household chores, shopping and such, thing else unseen, but then he was in the Thurman opened his though they had a cleaning woman once clear, falling. The impact of hitting the water a week. Their son Bill cost them something eyes it was dark. He knew knocked him out, but such was the speed at Yale, but they were making ends meet, without looking at the of things. He was aware for an instant of and Bill was in his third year They also deliberately-inhaling water— after all, that . clock it was just after five. owned a modest house in New Jersey, was his intention —and then it seemed that where they spent summers and most Maybe this time, the massive gray legless A pulled him down Christmases. Richard Thurman was think- lorever, accompanying him forever. he could handle it, keep cool3 ing, as he began on his lamb chops, that he had nothing to gripe about. He smiled HEAL at his pretty wife and tried to think of some- By Pat Cadigan thing to say to make the worry leave her "IN THE NAME OF JESUS!" the Reverend brow. "It'll pass," Thurman said. "I've been Jesse Rapture screamed, and slapped his taking myself too seriously." he was not free, and he realized that. He open palm down on the woman's lore-

Her frown did go away. "I think maybe could never be free. At nine-thirty he rang head. The crowd in the tent roared as she you have, dear." his office and got the young fellow called spasmed in her wheelchair.

The following dawn it came again. When Gil, who was always on time at nine, while Rapture began running both hands over

Thurman opened his eyes it was dark. the other three older fellows, himself in- the woman's pathetic, twisted body. "God- Barbara liked the curtains drawn at night. cluded, seldom turned up before ten. He Jesus-Jesus-oh-Christ, help me, help me

Thurman knew without looking at the ra- asked Gil to ask Bob Clark to telephone his rebuke this us, Jesus, I dium-dial clock near him that it was just wife and tell her that he had taken an early- cast it out, CAST IT OUT!" after five. "He closed his eyes and let it morning walk. Just that. Then Thurman The uniformed nurse who had come to come, thinking maybe this time, now that walked on, into Central Park. He did not the platform with the woman turned away, he'd aired the intangible phenomenon to want to speak with his wife. She wouldn't obviously repelled, as he straightened the another human, a shrink, someone apart understand. At close to noon he was sit- clawed fingers, the arms, the shoulders, from himself and Barbara, he could handle ting on a park bench when a shabbily working his way down the rest ol her body. it, keep cool about it. You are a single dressed man of about filly approached him 'Jesus-Jesus-Jesus-GOD-LORD-CHRIST- wretched individual, Thurman thought. timidly and asked for a dollar, please. ALMIGHTY!" he finished, and stepped

What's important about you, when the "Or just fitly cents — if you can." back to the other end of the plalform. chips are down? Nothing. You are weak, Thurman stood up and pulled his wallet "Now, daughter, I KNOW you can WALK scared, cowardly before the big facts of from the inside pocket of his summer jacket. without THAT CHAIR!" lite. You have been to college, so you can He had at least a hundred in cash and The woman looked at her hands incred- express yourself better than the majority, started to take it all out, then realized there ulously. "Praise Jesus!" but otherwise what is the difference be- might be another in equal need and pulled The crowd took it up as a chant. "Praise tween you and a man in the Third World out half the bank notes. "Here. No, take it; Jesus! Praise Jesus!" dying from malnutrition at thirty? take it!" He walked quickly away. "I COMMAND you to GET UP and WALK Nothing, Thurman thought to himself. Wo There was another human in need, an WITHOUT THAT CHAIR!" difference. He wasn't trying to make him-, obviously poor woman sitting on a bench "Praise Jesus and walk without that self special. On the contrary, he was in awe with a babe in arms, a shopping bag at her chair!" the crowd roared over and over of what he was experiencing and felt hum- feel. She looked up as he approached. again, until it seemed as though the com- ble. Thurman tried to relax, to sleep again; "Here. For you," Thurman said with an bined force of their voices lifted the woman 52 OMNI " " " " " "

out of the wheelchair and then sent her healing by—well, there was no telling. Jesus, help. God, police, SOMEBODY!" hobbling across the platform to collapse, Weeks, maybe even months. She had done The woman stared hard at him as he sobbing, In Rapture's arms-. something to the body, treated it with pushed himself against the wall, babbling. something to slow the deterioration, so that "Hey, wait a minute here. You're not lay- Counting the take back at the motel was the bullet hole over the left eye socket was ing your hands on him!" Rapture's favorite part, but as usual, a still fairly obvious. There were strange round "You're goddamn right I'm not!" Rapture quarrel broke out between Kitty and Sylvia things stuck all over the plastic that Rap- panted hoarsely. "I'm not touching that as to who should play the cripple at their ture realized, to his horror, were garbage thing. Now, you get out, get-out-GET-OUT!" next gig. Kitty was the better contortionist, pail deodorizers. The woman's eyes narrowed. "You mean there was no doubt about that, but Sylvia "It was an accident," the woman sairj. "1 you can't heal?" looked the part, thin as a stick no matter didn't mean to shoot him. Just that painted- — "No, no, I can't heal, I can't. I can't how much she ate. up whore he was with. " She kicked the door She reached under the plastic and came Tonight he was too tired to go through shut behind her and rolled the chair into up with a gun. A bit of something rotten any of that again, and he directed his as- the room near the foot of the bed. 'Just heal was stuck to the barrel. sistant Martin to get them out of his sight. him. You don't have to worry about hen" "No, wait, what are you doing''" Rapture "Buy them something to eat. to drive- — Go a "Oh, Jesus " he moaned, backing away screamed loudly. in and stay in the car. And bring me back from them. "You son-of-a-bitchin', no-good—" She something." He knew Martin didn't really "Yes. Jesus. Go on. He was a son-of-a- climbed onto the bed and came at him. like the idea of leaving him to count the bitchin', no-good lyin" tomcat, I but know "Drive all over this state with him in the back take alone, but Martin could lump it. They you'll heal him of that, too." She knelt of down the truck. I came two hundred miles from were all expendable, and they knew it. next to the wheelchair. the last one, two hundred miles, and what Ten minutes after they'd left, there was a "God-Jesus-Jesus-oh-Cft/vsr.'" Rapture do I find?" She shoved the pistol under his light tapping at the motel-room door. Rap- yelled, and the woman repeated it, word chin and thumbed back the hammer. "An- lure folded the coverlet around the cash for word, lifting her arms to heaven. other fucking fake." he'd been sorting on the bed and strode across the room to jerk the door open. THE OVERCOAT

"Dammit, I thought I to/rjyou— By Michael Swanwick "Reverend Rapture?" The woman Weed was hooked. He'd come to the Sal- standing outside was tall and well built, es- vation Army outlet on Pechin Street be- pecially in the places that counted. Plain in iThe woman was cause they were having a white-tag sale. the face, but Rapture wasn't too fussy about amazingly strong, far stronger It was the rump end of September, and the faces. "I in was the tent tonight, and I saw than he was plaid synthetic -fiber lumberjack coat he'd you. I've been traveling all over to every bought five years ago at K mart was rip- tent revival I find, could and now I know in his hysteria. She actually ping apart at the seams. He needed a new you're the man I've looking been for." ' managed to drag coat. He was zinging the coats down the "lrememberyou,"helied."Whatisitthat rod when he saw it: the beau ideal— no. you need my spiritual help with?" him, struggling and twisting, make that the Holy goddamn Grail—of She stepped inside and looked around. to the corpse. The overcoats. The ultimate trench coat, the 'Are you alone?" cocked head stared one Bogart wore in Casablanca. The stan- "I was just making my devotions to Je- at him3 dard emblem of manliness throughout the sus, yes." He glanced at the bed ner- world. The single best overcoat ever made. vously. He'd have to get her worked up so A Burberry. she wouldn't hear the coins clink when he He caught his breath. It was in mint con- took the coverlet off. Or maybe she'd settle dition—every D ring and epaulet intact, the for the floor. Plenty of them did. "Yes? Yes?" she said to Rapture. "Pray black-and-butterscotch liner unfaded. "My husband has need of your powers. more! Oh, Jim!" She embraced the corpse, worth at least five hundred dollars in any A small warning bell went off in Rap- jerking a fresh howl from Rapture. 'Jim, I vintage clothing store in town. And some ture's mind. Husbands could be problems. know you'll rise, I know it! And we'll make idiot had priced it at ten dollars! "Daughter, I'm awfully tired — this night a new start. I forgive you for what you did Hands trembling, he reached out and "But I have great faith. As well as two with that bitch." The corpse's head, pro- actually touched the cloth. It smelled hundred faintly dollars." truding from the plastic wrapping, dropped of mothballs. It must'have been in some- "That is great faith," Rapture said, think- bonelessly to one side, tearing the rotted body's attic for decades. A treasured re- ing of how the others would never have to flesh. The ghastly odor hit Rapture full in minder of younger, more adventurous days, know. will "But we have to pray an almighty the face for the first time, making him gag. locked away in a steamer trunk for decade prayer together— "Noooo! Noooo!" he howled. "Get him after decade. Then a final heart attack "I'll do anything." Her breathing quick- out, get him out!" when golfing, and after the funeral the fam- ened with desperation, and Rapture real- The woman got up and ran to him, seiz- ily gathered around to clean out Dad's stuff, ized that in spite of her composure, she ing his arms. "Lay your hands on him now, squabbling over this or that small me- was having a hard time containing herself. make him rise!" mento — and consigning the greater pile to "I don't know what Jesus may ask "Oh, Jesus, help me, HELP ME, no, the local Sally-Ann. "Whatever he wants, he can have. Just DON'T!" he screamed. The woman was He felt the surety of this flow through his heal my husband." amazingly strong, far stronger than he was fingertips as he folded back the collar. "if your faith is great, it will be done." in his hysteria. She managed to drag him, There was a white rectangle of cloth: "I'll get him. He's in the truck." She darted struggling and twisting, over to the corpse. S.K out. Rapture hurried to move the coverlet The cocked head stared at him eyelessly. PAELLA EXPEDITION from the bed to the small round table near "Say it now!" She gave him a mighty the window. shove, and he landed on the dead man Weed -frowned. He remembered that. "Reverend!" She was standing in the with a scream, feeling the rot under the Paella was a tiny island south of Tierra del doorway again with a wheelchair in front of plastic squash at the contact. "Say, 'I Fuego. know He'd read about it in an old Na- her. "My husband. Jim. Heal him." Vou can walk without that chair.' Say it!" tional Geographic. Hopkins had sent some Rapture never heard her. The plastic- Rapture scrambled onto the bed, wiping archaeologists there, right after the Sec- wrapped thing in the wheelchair was past desperately at himself. "Get him out of here, ond World War. They'd found a ring of 54 OMNI "It's not true that I have glorified madness or idealized schizophrenia. Most people who are really crazy and miserable are not good company. Nobody who's good company is ever put away. People like to have them around." inJTERV/IEUU

a" s,reet hits a phrenic, and suicidal. But she I f% I II catastrophic air impresses the court with her || \m vv pocket, and the lucidity and insight, and the megadip underlines the sheer judge orders her set tree. This irrationality of the yuppie era. case, which epitomizes a Barbra Streisand is a smash in major social dilemma, pivots the movie Nuts, battling to on the enigma Ronald David prove she's sane. New York City Laing has spent his life analyz- mayor Ed Koch orders ing; What is craziness, and homeless people hauled oif lo how should it be treated? Fear, mental hospitals. A middle- insanity, and healing— the aged woman who lived on a hot- themes of this psychiatrist, phi- air venl. tore up $100 bills, losopher, and poet—seem and also behaved.obscenely in to be everywhere. public is taken in. Four city "We are all afraid of each psychiatrists testify that she is other," says R. D. Laing in an psychotic, a paranoid schizo- address to a Manhattan

PHOTOGRAPHS BY BRIAN R, WOLFF conference on Buddhism and psychother- films ot Nazi experiments, in which Jewish apy. Like a slim, brown owl, he gazes re- prisoners were overdosed with X rays, as proachfully at his audience over glasses teaching materials. He explored for him- perched ai the end ot his nose. "We are an self the effects of hypnotism and the para- endangered species, the only species we normal, which he came to believe existed. know of that is an immediate danger to its He climbed mountains and buried himself own survival," he intones, his rich Scottish naked in [he snow to lest the limits of the

brogue wrapping his tongue around each senses. He failed his final exams at first syllable. Laing is giving a performance, one because one night, his tongue loosened of his "meditations." As he faces row's of by whiskey, he lectured the professors on therapists, social workers, and suppos- the defects of medicine. edly self-negating Buddhists, his charisma After graduation Laing took up neuro- is high voltage for a stage shared with surgery, joining the British Army's psychi- robed monks and abbots with beatific atric staff and then a Glasgow mental hos- smiles from Tibetan monasteries. To these pital. Typically on viewing an interview less-ihan-intrepid explorers of the Mew Age, between a psychiatrist and a patient, he the sixty-year-old philosopher of menial mistook the patient, who was less fidgety, distress from the Sixties is no remem- for a doctor. Many schizophrenics, he saw, brance of things a generation past. He riv- needed to act out a kind of theater, which ets them with his quirky, deft logic and his therapeutic intervention only blocked. Even sophisticated innocence. "A great deal of wild schizophrenics, he found, lived in an the practice of Western science, its actual intelligible world of their own, much like that practice," he says, "is through destroying of the artist. In 1960, after being rejected bOver the years the world as il is, in order to discover what by seven publishers, Laing published The it is supposed to be." He stands back Divided people have laid a whole lo Self, a study of schizoids "de- thunderous applause. signed to make madness and the process lot of stuff on me In two best sellers of the Sixties, The Di- of going mad comprehensible." about being a communist, vided Self and The Politics of Experience, Laing helped form the Philadelphia As- Laing challenged the psychiatric profes- sociation, a so-called antipsychiatry group an anarchist, an sion's eagerness to resort to drugs, elec- dedicated to reforming treatment of the

tric shock, insulin comas, and the scalpel ill, acidhead, and even mentally and set up Kingsley Hall, in a to banish the symptoms of mental disturb- house in East London, to put his ideas into an ambulatory ance. Both cause and cure, he insisted, practice. Patients and doctors lived to- were greatly influenced schizophrenic. The term by patients' rela- gether in equality, both groups being free tionships, especially with their families. He to paint the walls with feces, if they so maverick would even suggested that, functionally, schizo- chose. The staff and guests on occasion phrenia might be a self-induced "head trip" had candlelight be the very least of them3 dinners, with Laing ex- used to escape from, and heal, the emo- pounding a! length on medicine or mysti- tional conflicts imposed on the confused cism until the wee hours, after which free- by a partly insane society. form dancing to the Rolling Stones would Laing's skepticism, humaneness, and last until dawn. For a time Kingsley Hall was sympathy for different states of conscious- a magnet for artists, celebrities, and Lon- ness were in tune with the Sgt. Pepper era. don's counterculture dropouts; but after live and he attracted a large following on years the lease ran out, and the experi- American campuses. But his popularity ment dissolved. Similar sanctuaries were and what critics derided as his romantic started elsewhere, however, and today idealization of madness alienated many of there are at least four in England and one, his colleagues, who saw him as lost on a Burch House, in Litileton, New Hampshire. power trip. Few, however, deny Laing's Laing set up a private practice in Lon- brilliance, sensitivity, and originality. don and wrote several more books, includ- By his own accouni, his character was ing the autobiographical Wisdom, Mad- tempered by a studious, puritanical, and ness and Folly, published in 1985. Following lonely childhood in Scotland. Laing was an emotionally catastrophic divorce from born in Glasgow in 1927, much to the sur- his second wife, Juttah, with whom he had prise of his parents, who claimed they had four children, Laing closed up shop in Lon- given up sex by that time. His grammar don three years ago and began to travel (high) school was in the Gorbals. a noto- about to conferences and institutes with riously tough and depressed part of Glas- Marguerita. his third wife, mother of his tenth gow. But his family lived outside the area child. {His first wife, Ann, with whom he had and was respectably middle-class. Laing five children, lives in Glasgow.) displayed a talent tor piano, but a wrist in- While Laing guards his privacy offstage, jured from playing Rugby ruled out a con- under the spotlight he seems utterly pres- cert career. He finally decided to be a writer ent, inviting the listener to roam within his who would explore "why the human race mind. As a result he's a great victim of pro- is so unhappy." Medical school seemed jection, and his public persona is a light- the right route: "Within the warps of the ning rod for discontent. For 20 years ru-

brain, I might find the cause of the warps mors have circulated that he is a schizo- of the mind," he wrote. phrenic, an acidhead, an alcoholic. Some At the University of Glasgow Laing was of this may be due to his style of lecturing, disgusted by the way the teaching staff his free-form meditation on the themes that distanced themselves from patients. The preoccupy him— currently the pretenses anatomy department, for instance, used and lies of love, the subject of his new book. —

He is capable ol falling silent at the podium cerns without bothering others. A number glad to have a shelter. So let's provide manual called DSM-III, the Diagnostic and Laing: I'd be honored to give it myself. The Presented as a medical exercise, it is an long enough to make many in the audi- fall the wayside. by shelter. Let's encourage the private sector Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, third criteria in this manual are very useful for undercover operation. II is not brought to ence uneasy. On occasion, alter he's been What do the ongoing, taxpaying, coher- to go back to the idea of a Salvation Army, edition [published by the American Psy-' controlling the population because you can bear on Shirley MacLaine when she goes musing tor a while, an official has inter- ent, orderly, normal householders or peo- open-door situation for people who are chiatric Association]. Translated into eco- bring them to bear on practically anyone if out on a limb, or on any typical daughters rupted to ask if he's ill, drunk, or on drugs. ple with roots over themselves, who go to outside in the middle of winter. In London nomic and political terms, mental disorder the occasion seems to demand it. Look at of the establishment, Democratic or Re-

I interviewed Laing in a psychiatrist's restauranls, do about these other people? several thousand people hang out on means undesired mental states and atti- this: "Oppositional disorder" is a very good publican. It is held in reserve. apartment on the West Side of Manhattan. It is embarrassing to have to walk over Hampstead Heath and in other parts trom tudes and behavior. The criteria for mental one [Laing reads from DSM-III]: "The es- Omni: Well, what criteria would you like to Reclining nearly horizontally in an easy someone in the middle of winter, freezing spring to the late autumn and then migrate disorder in DSM-iil include any unusual sential feature is a pattern of disobedient see in DSM-III? chair, he smoked a pipe and drank coffee on the sidewalk. Still,.thereisaslrong leel- back into menial hospilas during the cold- perceptual experience, magical thinking, negativistic and provocative opposition to Laing: That's not the question The prob- and a ginseng soda. His speech ing that anyone in seemed their right mind wouldn't est months of the winter. clairvoyance, telepathy, sixth sense, sense authority figures. For example, if there is a lem is the whole situation of which DSM-III

as lethargic as his posture, and at first I in be that position, and if they have lost Omni: Is treatment ol the mentally dis- of a person not actually present. You're al- rule, it is usually violated. If a suggestion is is a necessary part. The medical model wasn't certain that he was entirely well. their mind, they wouldn't realize that they've turbed today more enlightened than it was? lowed to sense the presence of a dead rel- made, the individual is againsl it. If asked has fallen away trom the minds of many Soon it was clear, however, that the excru- lost it. they can't help So themselves, and Laing: The current situation is more com- ative for three weeks after their death. Alter to do something, the individual refuses or medical people who employ it. We're in- ciatingly long lime he took to ponder a re- they can't appeal for help to other people. plicated than twenty or thirty years ago. In that it becomes a criterion of mental dis- becomes argumentative. If asked to re- volved in a lot of mental distress, misery, sponse had nothing to do with alcohol. It decent thing The to do, then, is to help the late Sixties it became apparent to the order to have those feelings. frain from an act, the child or adolescent confusion, and deep unhappiness going simply reflected the sensibility with which them, even if they don't want it, elite with ii because responsibilities for "control of the I was brought over by the psychiatry de- feels obliged to carry out. The disorder around. This does not become a problem ," he is wonl to express himself, as if he were the fact that they are treatment resistant population" that the old idea of putting partment of Athens to Greece to debate generally causes more distress to those, . to anyone else as long as that person keeps thinking things out anew every time he might be one of the indexes Ihey are dis- people in the proverbial bin and keeping this with the editors of DSM-III because Omni: Well, that would certainly dispose of on functioning, and many people who are spoke. Anthony Liversidge — ordered. So the refusal of treatment, diag- them there for life —warehousing people DSM-III proposes itself as a system for third- any malcontents! deeply miserable go on living without bug- lost their nosed as having right minds, is wasn't cost-effective. The Reagan admin- party insurance payment all over the world. Laing: That is a criterion of mental disorder ging other people about it. It is only when Omni: How does the case of Brown, itself a iher Joyce fur criterion for presumptive fact istration in California was one of the first to The Greeks were very unhappy to incor- as well! other people lee! they have to do some- the New York street person, look to you? that they've lost it. realize this. So they had to rethink just what porate this in their psychiatric practice but Omni: Surely these criteria are all a matter thing about it that some sort ol procedures Laing: Quite a few people come to see me Do we have to that say someone is men- the name of the game was. That has led to couldn't do anything about it. Look at this! of degree? go into operation in our society Just go out who have trouble with that sort of thing, I tally disordered by the very fact that they a state of affairs now where there's a schism [Laing hands over a copy of DSM-III and Laing: Maybe, but these are not excep- on the street corner and keep on standing explain that whether it is it under some new cannot get together to have a roof over between what is said to the general public points to a lengthy exchange between a tional examples out of DSM-III. The overall there. After a while someone will feel that legislation or old, you can't that on the their do heads, or do they choose not to be- and what is practiced by the executive in patient and his psychiatric interviewer] The drift is what contemporary modern psy- it's time for you to move on. You might be sidewalk and expect to It. get away with A cause for some peculiar reasons of their control of mental health. The same prob- patient's speech is not entirely grammati- chiatry, epitomized by this DSM manual standing there as a matter of principle or lot of ordinary citizens are very frightened prefer own they to live outside of houses? lem prevails across Europe and the Third cal. But you use a tape recorder a lot. How translated into eighteen languages, is im- because you can't move or whatever. You of strange people who are homeless Is it look and possible to at that without medi- World as well. much Huff do you have to take out? This is posing all over the world — a mandate to are not necessarily causing an obstruc- might even if who be, not habitually violent, calizing it automatically from the begin- Omni: You believe that the motive for given as a paradigm of the depths of strip anyone of their civil liberties, of ha- tion. You are not breaking the law, as far as prepared to mug or attack. There has been ning? Very likely quite of a number those change was economic? schizophrenic mental disorder! beas corpus: and to apply involuntary in- I know. But given the circumstances of life custodial institutional a cutback on care of people are extremely confused and bewil- Laing: Economics controls politics, so the Omni: You feel that the patient has given a carceration, chemicalization of a person, in New York, there must be something the disturbed people — people not having the dered and helpless and disordered and pivotal issue is an economic one. To see perfectly good reply to the question, Why electric shocks, and noninjurious torture; matter with a person who keeps on stand- skills to keep themselves as ongoing con- don't like being there and would be very what is happening, look at the textbook or is it that people believe in God? to homogenize people who are out of line. ing indefinitely on a street corner. It's called

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. catatonic. I not saying Now, I am that in this have expressed a certain scorn and entry in DSM-III ior the insurance company city, being as it is, it's feasible to have peo- contempt at the way electric shocks are to. pay up. Hallucinations are supposed to ' ple that sort of thing do in public places. marketed. I do gel annoyed when a senior be suppressed in six days, schizophrenia am suggesting, though, that it would ease psychiatrist comes to see me who previ- supposedly cured or symptoms sup-

things tor if some people we allowed a bil ously has attacked me in public for, as he pressed by injection, which suppresses the

more of I what call experiential anarchy. put it, "talking like this in front of the chil- mental function;: r-Hoessaiy to generate the

I not I am preaching anarchy. am preach- dren," because "we are all on Ihe same aberralions which are rated as tokens ol ing law and order. side against suffering," and so on. It turns disorder and undesirable. Omni: You are no! talking about those peo- out he has a daughter of eighteen who is All psychiatrists with any experience ple who are demented, hurting thei blowing it, and he does not want her to fall know this is totally impossible. So when they selves, or beyond reach? into the hands of a policing psychiatrisl and get someone with symptoms like that, they

Laing: I am talking about them, too! 1 spent get electric shocks. So he asks. Would I diagnose them not as schizophrenic but a lot of time with really broken-down, crazy play a part in containing this situation so as chronic anxiety or whatever. So it is now

people, and I definitely think there could his beloved daughter doesn't get done in? impossible to do an epidemiological study be a serious modification of the training of If it was someone else's daughter, that's of the rate of recovery from schizophrenia. professionals at the best schools to ad- what would happen to her, but not to his The whole thing is to process through DSM- dress themselves to such people. Take the daughter. II you've got money and you don't III for insurance payments. Insurance sequence in which medical students go want these things to happen to your own companies are aware of this also, but pa- from college to medicine. First you train for family, still find you can places that cost a tients and relatives are not. It is a standoff. year in physics, botany, a and chemistry. lot ol money but where people will be taken Everyone is lying to everyone else, and Then you are confronted with dissecting care of and usually calmed down fine. The meanwhile real people in mental distress dead bodies in a year of anatomy and few places that do that service have to pay and misery are being mangled. physiology. Then M.D.'s these decant the local police m z^e someone runs away Omni: You feel that the average person is into the general themselves population to and the police won't bring them back. liable to be caught in the system'' discover what it is really like. number of Omni: You A don't view yourself as a member Laing: Anyone is liable to be if he's placed experts all over the world have thought of we the Establishment, do you? Why is there on the chessboard. It doesn't matter could reverse the process, and medical no room for you? whether you are a knight, pawn, or queen. students could be introduced to the way Laing: I forthright. am too "Ronald, we agree If it comes to-be your time and place to be people actually live in the firsl place and with you, but you shouldn't talk like this in taken out, you will be taken out. David Ro- fhen move back from there into the other front of the children, those outside the senhan of Stanford University did a classic studies. It might be worth trying. What dif- cloth." That's my main offense. One lead- study about twelve years ago. He got a ference would that make, to the ing anyway, psychiatrist in America, when I in- number of volunteers to present them- effective most maintenance of the soft- veighed against the DSM-lli last year, said selves to the psychiatric department of a ware of civilization? Look, I haven't got any that DSM-III is only a billing list for third- hospital and say they were hallucinating but revolutionary message in that respect. party., payments. You have got to have an otherwise behave normally. Every one was admitted righj away; a number were in- jected; all were diagnosed as schizo- phrenic. All were normal people.

Omni: II someone who is otherwise normal complains of hallucinations, don't you agree that a psychiatrist has to suspect some- Ihlny is wrong with him?

Laing: Oh, I don't have to. Until it was de- cided by dictate that you're nol allowed to see things other people don't see. hear things other people don't hear, or smell

things other people don't smell, we all didn't have to hear, smell, and see things the same way. This was never the case in the history of humanity. The ordinary human might, when depressed, see the sky be- come dark or the sun cloud over. The whole world was once part of man's psyche. But no longer. Everything now has got to be experienced all the lime in the same way as everyone else lixper/once has become homogenized. Omni: But how do we decide whether someone is wacko or merely eccentric? Or

who needs help when they don't want it? Laing: Has there got to be a codification? Michel Foucault in A History of Sexuality distinguishes between criteria of correct behavior and conduct, and the codifica- lion of what is proper. The Greeks, he ar- gues, had a sense of proprieiy, and they disapproved of certain conduct. Christian ethics brought in codification. They didn't

say this is not the correct regime for vir- tuous, proper, appropriate conduct— but lhat this is excommunicating, sinful, and you'll be toriured and burned if you do it. — — .

Euripides had a phrase in one of his frag- ple. They will take to be what is the case couple was given to practicing libetan ments saying that a slave is a man who is what you want (hem i.o oeneve is the case. Taniric mediiahon [spiriiu-ilhy emphasiz- not allowed to express his thoughts. In a so that they believe what you believe is ing the erotic side of the psyche]. free society one ought to be allowed to ex- good for them to believe. But the wife was completely bemused perience the world in any way whatsoever. So this situation sets up a politically, by him to the point of hypnotism. Most peo-

If someone is in a stale of distress and economically, as wei as passiona:ely and ple are, to a considerable degree, in a hyp- wants me to help Ihem out of their distress, sexually mendacious field, a field of lies; notic spell. The whole population comes influence ot I am at their service to do so. so lhal you are not lying, but you are living under the a Goebbels, a Rea- Omni: Is your new book. Lies o! Love, taken in a lying, false field, both at a macro- gan, a Nixon, and so forth. This stale of from material presented by your patients? scopic and microscopic lever. The contra- a' lairs is inducted in early childhood.

Laing: No. There are two sources of data dictor' between "Do I tie.ieve what I am Omni: Isn't lying in love primarily a defense

for talking about love and lies and sex: what told?" and "Do I believe my own senses?" against sexual jealousy, and wasn't the you read about in books, plays, and novels is what a lot of people crumble under and trend toward group sex an attempt to es-

or see on TV, and what you learn from other go crazy over. Literally psychotic. But I am cape that conflict? people and from one's own life. In this book not trying to focus in this book on the way Laing: That just reduces fucking to trivial-

it ity, I am quoting literature but mainly basing people are'driven crazy but on the prob- so it's got no meaning. You can erase on my own personal horizon of what goes lematic of a "noncompossible," or incon- significance from the act of putting a penis on in relationship to love. sistent, universe. Leibniz theorized that for into a vagina or taking a penis into a mouth

Omni: Was it inspired, then, by betrayal in any universe to exist among the infinite or an ass hole or an armpit. You can cancel your own marriage? number ol possible unvoises. one condi- meaning. But bring any sort of signifi-

Laing; That is a very delicate subject. I don't tion of a possible un verso existing is that cance to the union of bodies, to intimacy think I can say anything because it in- all of its elements must be compossifcsle, so that ils meaning is more lhan jus! the volves someone else. So for now I think meaning that all of its elements must be juxtaposition of two epidermises or mu- that has got to remain on a private shelf. able to exist at the same time. cosi—and you're into the realm of passion,

Bui it is difficult to avoid it in the course of and you do not abolish it just like that. ordinary life as lived, isn't it? Practically There have been orgies and indiscrimi- everybody gets burned sooner or later. nate sexuality in the Western world tor as Omni: What's the theme? long as we have records. From the begin- Laing: Well, take Freud's view of sexuality: ning of the Iliad and Homer and through '•Criteria for To be outrageously simplifying, he empha- Ovid and the Art ol Love, Ihere has always sized the conflict between sexual desire mental disorder include any been that indiscriminate, insignificant, itself limits meaningless mush; and at the same time which in raised no —and prohi- unusual perceptual bitions and taboos against its manifesta- it takes on specific significance, as it al- tion and fulfillment. Hence repression and experience, magical thinking, ways has done, with Paris and Helen and Agamemnon and Menelaus and Catullus. all the other mechanisms that curb, squash; clairvoyance, and tame sexual desire. That was his main Then it is lite and death. There is a tremen- telepathy, sixth sense, or vector. The discomforts of civilization had dous conservatism fiat oersists through all to do with the problematics of human im- presence of a dead sorts of socioeconomic structures. Plato's pulse. Instead of desire and passion meet- account, not of the heavenly Aphrodite but relative after three weeksV ing, (hey ran up against the prohibitions of the earthly Aphrodite, could come out ol necessary to maintain a civilized society. Penthouse magazine.

Liut isn l iy in- I am taking things in a way complemen- Omni: nc between ine sexes tary to that. There is also the problem ot evitable while there is jealousy and there- the relationship between the impulse to- fore conflict of interest?

lie; ward truth and truthfulness, toward open- When you have a o- deception, I hero's Laing: Until we build Jerusalem in Eng- ness and communion, on the one hand, a state of noncompossibihly—you- either laro's green and pleasant land, we shall and the absence and failure of truth and believe the lie or what is the case. If you have to live in the synagogue of Satan. But openness and truthfulness—and there- believe what's not the case, because you il is a valid lunction of any age and lime to fore dominion— on the other hand, So believe what you're told, then you have to try to see it clearly, expressing it and stat- we've got playoffs between truthfulness deny your own senses. If you credit your ing as best one can what there is, without and decepliveness, trustworthiness and own senses and so disbelieve what you're any missionary intent. I find reading Mon- untrustworthiness, and trust and mistrust. told, you have to deny the trust you place taigne or La Rochefoucauld a breath of Consider what is going on belween peo- in the authority. That's an agonizing con- fresh air, don't you? ple in a love affair or marriage involving the flict if you're faced with two equally credi- Omni: Why did you give up your clinic in eternal triangle. If A and B are lovers, and ble sources. There's a dynamics, a ge- London recently?

B and C are having a relationship, and it is ometry, or in-depth calculus of possibility Laing: I was certainly worn-out and burned-

As understanding that the relationship is and probability. Something can be abso- out. After about thirty years of that, I wanted between A and B, we have infidelity, be- lutely certain yet impossible. to have a rest. I felt I had been, as my col- trayal, and jealousy. I know a couple, two quite well-known leagues say, "in the front line" for long

One of the most upsetting things for people. One afternoon at half past four the enough. It's not true that I have glorified people is not the need to inhibit desire but woman came down from sleeping upstairs iradncss or dcalized schizoohrenia, I have the need to conceal what Ihey want, do,, and found her husband and his secretary just said that schizophrenics are simply as and imagine. A sort of crisis occurs in the lying there naked on the sofa. Stunned, she human as we are, just ordinary people who most extreme passionate and sensual re- asked, "What are you doing with that fall apart for one reason or another—maybe lationships, but in nonsexual relationships woman on my sola?" He looked up and genetically, maybe constitutionally, maybe it manifests itself in the experience of being said, "That's not a woman; that's a water- for other reasons. I never said that people deceived. In art dealing, for example, con- fajl." The wife says she felt dizzy giddy because they are crazy are more illumi- sider the outrage that is felt when a forger She thought she was going to faint. She nated or better than you and I. Most peo- gets away with a fake. That outrage at de- could not reconcile the statement he made ple who are really crazy and miserable are ception is not the same as jealousy, but it with what she saw. not good company. Anybody who is good

; is often confused with it. So there is a game Omni: A pretty wet excuse, surely! company to other people s never put away. going on—you alter reality for other peo- Laing: Well, ho was really putting it on. The Because peooe like them around. a

ARTICLE

Memories leave traces ol themselves in the brain, but learning how to find them is one of science's trickiest assignments

PORTS OF RECALL: THE NEUROLINK BY BRUCE SCHECHTER'

Picture this: The keynote aocom paries old age will no speaker, scheduled to deliver longer [rouble us. Mortimer an hour-long opening Mishkin, one ol the new address before a packed breed of brain researchers convention center and 30 studying the stuff of which million TV viewers, has memories are made, is bold suddenly taken ill. You are enough lo make this predic- given just two hours lo tion: "In two decades we memorize the text of his 25- may be able to enhance the page speech. You pop a power of memory through memory pill and give the drugs and manipulations speech a quick read through. such as brain transplants." Later at Ihe podium you Today scientists of the deliver the keynote address mind are mapping our neural in tetter-pertect fashion, pathways, trying to uncover without once having lo glance the mystery of how and down at Ihe notes. where memories are made This is the future of human and stored. To do this, they memory. Someday soon seek the elusive engram— we may be able to recall physical trace drawn in information as quickly and the brain lo mark Ihe accurately as the most existence of a memory. The powerful computer does. Wc engram, they say, is the may be able to remember evidence that an event has early childhood scenes that been recorded and is avail- we thought we'd forgotlen able tor replaying. Once II bng ago. Indeed researchers is tracked, we might learn how believe that memory disor- to enhance the memory ders such as amnesia, trace—and deepen it so that

Alzheimer's disease, and the it can never be forgotten. natural forget fulness that "Nobody has any idea of what

PAINTING BY STANISLAW FERNANDES —

people could be like if their brains were any of the hospital staff. In fact, his mem- eases that attack the brain.' Mishkin theo- fully used," says n euro biologist Norman ory of the past three years or so was patchy rizes. Alzheimer's disease and other tragic Weinberger of the Center for the Neuro- at best, He wasn't able to recall, for ex- disorders of the mind, which currently af- biology of Learning and Memory al the ample, that his uncle had died the previous flict some 2.5 million Americans, could be University of California at Irvine. year. Even worse, although his intelligence cured or perhaps even prevented. In the last 15 years startling advances was apparently unimpaired, he was totally Before any of this can happen, says have been made in the search for the en- unable to form new memories. Once an Mishkin, the complex procedure by which gram. Interestingly, the person who pro- event departed his attention, it quickly dis- a memory is encoded and then stored in vided this generation of investigators with solved from his memory, like a dream. He the brain must be fully understood. "You the biggest clues lo Ihe way memories are would reread the same newspapers and can't repair a car without first knowing how stored and recovered is a man who has magazines day after day and piece to- it works," he points out. lost forever the ability to remember. gether the same puzzles. When anyone Our mental machinery is, of course, far The man, known only as H.M., had suf- mentioned his uncle's death, the grief H.M. more complex than the fanciest of car en- fered severe epileptic seizures since the suffered would be fresh. H.M., poignantly gines. Housed in what looks like a lump of age of seven. By the time he was twenty- aware of his predicament, told a re- grayish-white jelly, the brain actually con- seven years old, H.M.'s raging electrical searcher, "Every day is alone in itself, sists of scores of interconnected struc- storms of the brain had become so intense whatever enjoyment I've had and whatever tures. Early neu roan atom ists had no idea and so frequenf that doctors decided his sorrow. At this moment everything looks what the various structures did, so they only hope of leading a normal life was to clear to me, but what happened just be- named them for what they resembled. The submit to a radical and as-yet-untried sur- fore? I just don't remember." hippocampus, which is an S-shaped gical procedure. H.M.'s unique memory loss served as structure located deep within both hemi- Tests showed thai H.M.'s seizures origi- an impetus to researchers like psychobiol- spheres of the brain, got its Greek appel- nated in two anatomical structures deep in ogist Mishkin because it demonstrated the lation from somebody who thought it looked the brain, the hippocampus and the amyg- vital roles of the hippocampus and amyg- like a sea horse. The amygdala, Greek for dala. William Scoville, the brain surgeon dala in the processing of memories. Un- almond, is indeed a liny, almond-shaped who had been treating H.M. for many years, derstanding the parts these structures structure located in front of the hippocam- reasoned that by removing these two within the brain play, says Mishkin, is the pus. Both are sections of the limbic sys- structures he would also remove the cause key to improving our ability to learn and tem, the most primitive part of the human of H.M.'s epilepsy. Scoville knew that peo- remember. The payoff for the years of hard brain. The limbic system is known to be ple had often lived normal or near-normal research ahead will be enormous, and he involved in emotion, but judging from H.M., lives after large parts of their brains were gets excited just thinking about it. whose hippocampus and amygdala were destroyed by accident or stroke. So on "To begin with, we will be able to treat removed, it must also play a major role in

September 1, 1953, H.M. was wheeled into congenital defects. We'll know how to pre- the formation of memories. the operating room for surgery. vent learning disabilities in children, bol- Mishkin's laboratory is housed in a small When H.M. awoke he didn't recognize ster low' I.Q.'s, and treat infectious dis- brick building amid the complex of build- ings that make up the National Institute of Mental Health'(NIMH) in Bethesda, Mary- land. At one time, an armed guard was sta- tioned outside his door: Mishkin's research subjects are rhesus monkeys; and once an antivivisectionist group broke into the laboratory to free the monkeys, which, like H.M., have had parts of their limbic sys- tems removed. Monkeys' brains are similar to those of humans, but they're only about one sixteenth as large. To explore how the rhesus monkey's and our own—memory works, Mishkin and his NIMH colleagues put an object within a test monkey's reach. Under the object the monkey finds a peanut or a banana pellet. Then, after a minute or two, the monkey is shown the same object along- side a new object, which now covers a new

food reward. If the monkey's memory is

working, Mishkin has found, it usually picks up the new object, hoping to uncover a fresh reward. But when both the amygdala and the hippocampus have been re-

moved, Mishkin discovered, the animal isn't

consistently able to find the reward. "It [this

condition] is as close to what H.M. has as we will get." says Mishkin. But the researchers found something that puzzled them. When they removed only the amygdala or only the hippocampus, the monkey seemed to learn and remember with only slight impairment. "You have to take out both to get this

devastating loss," Mishkin explains. "Yet it's

also clear that each of them alone is terri-

bly important. The question is, Why are — — '

I am m the middle of an essay for ment: I'm sitting dl the kitchen table write to, a compadre, a soul sibling, Interrtational Paper but thought I'd on a rainy Saturday morning. Every- then its like driving a car down a

drop you a line. Hi to your sweetie too one is gone ami the home is quiet. Let country road, you just get behind to write dash off a note to a pal. Envelopes, your simple description of the pres- the keyboard and press on the gas. How stamps, address book, everything ent moment lead to something Don't tear up the page and start in a drawer so you can write fast else, let the letter drift gently along. over when you write a bad line —

when the pen is hot. try to write your way out of it. 8" Take it easy personal letter A blank white x U" sheet Make mistakes and plunge on. Let a look as big if can as Montana the The toughest letter to crank the letter cook along and let your- pen's not so hot — try a smaller page out is one that is meant to impress, self be bold. Outrage, confusion,

and write boldly. Or use a note card as we all know from writing job love — whatever is in your mind,

with a piece of fine art on the front; applications; if it's hard work to slip let it find a way to the page. Writ-

by Garrison Keillor if your letter ain't good, at least off a letter to a friend, maybe you're ing is a means of discovery, always, they get the Matisse. a trying too hard and every time 1 do you lines to our dear Aunt Eleanor. We Get pen to be terrific. A let- and when you come to the end and that makes a sensuous line, is make me smiie. want to be known. We want her to get a ter only a report to someone who write Yours ever or Hugs atvl Kisses, typewriter, We need to write, know that we have fallen in love, comfortable a friendly already likes you for reasons other you'll know something you didn't word otherwise nobody that we quit our job, that we're processor — whichever feels than your brilliance. Tike it easy. when you wrote Dear Pal. will know who wc moving to New York, and wc want An object of art are. They will have to say a few things that might not only a vague impres- get said in casual conversation: Probably your friend will put sion of us as A Nice thank you fat what you've meant to your letter away, and it'll be read

Person, because me, I am very happy right now. again a few years from now — frankly, we don't and it will improve with age. shine at conversa- Skip the guilt And forty years' from now,

tion, we lack The first step in writing letters your friend's grandkids

the confidence to is to get over the guilt ofnot writ- will dig it out ofthe attic thrust our faces for- ing. You don't "owe" anybody a let- and read it, a sweet and

ward and say, "Hi, ter. Letters are a gift. The burning precious relic of the an- Heather Hooten, shame you feel when you see cient Eighties that gives "Qiamgc, let me tell you about unanswered mail makes it harder ro confi \nd, let it find a way to the page." them a sudden clear glimpse of you my week." Mostly we pick up a pen and makes for a and her and the world we old-timers say "Uh-huh" and cheerless letter when you finally do. easy to the hand. Don't worry- about form. It's not knew. You will then have created an Sit for "Oh really." People / jee! hd about not writing, but I've a few minutes with the a term paper. When you come to object of art. Your simple lines about blank sheet in front of you, and the end of one episode, just where IBBSP^ % smile and look over been so busy, etc. Skip this. Few start a you went, who you saw, what international PaCn'r . ufc\! Uuiiiv ;] k.'iIi'k. Liiitfiivr of ihe best-selling our shoulder, looking letters are obligators', and they arc meditate on the person you will new paragraph. You can go from a they said, will speak to those chil- .,.:,!.'.:, h.«-ki, ilappytoBe He: A ; 'aw, to tell you hmu write to, let lines for someone else to Tlianks for the wonderful gift and ! your friend come CO few about the sad state of rock dren and they will feel in their tnwritetileUerthu; wiUhrm^jin n\t,: !,vfe ..;/ :;i>me

I speak as one who loves to reach freely on the page —-to be close those promptly if you want to keep looked and what you said and what indebtedness to the kitchen sink piece of paper. for the phone, dial the number, despite distance. To escape from your friends. Don't worry about the perhaps was unsaid between you, and what's in it. The more you and talk. I say, "Big Bopper here anonymity and be our own sweet others, except love letters, of and when your friend becomes real write, the easier it gets, and when what's shakiri, babes?" The tele- selves and express the music of course. When your true love writes to you, start to write. you have a True True Friend to phone is to shyness what Hawaii is our souls. Dear Light of My Life, Joy of My Tell us what you're doing to February, it's a way out of the Same thing that moves a Heart, O Lovely Puhating Core Today, the printed word is more vital than ever. Now there is is Write the salutation woods, arid yet: a letter better. giant rock star to sing his of My Sensate Life, some Dear You more need than ever for all of us to read better, write better and heart out in front of 123,000 response is called for. — and take a deep breath and Such a sweet gift communicate better. International Paper offers this series in the people moves us to take ball- Some of the plunge in. A simple declarative sen- hope that, even in a small way, we can help. Such a sweet gift — a piece of point in hand and write a few „. best letters tence will do, followed by another We'll gladly send you a free reprint of this article. (We've handmade writing, in an envelope are tossed off and another and another. Tell us sent out over 30 million reprints of the series so far. ) Doubleday that is not a bill, sitting in our in a burst of what you're doing and tell it like has published 13 of the articles in a paperback: How to Use the friend's path when she midges inspiration, you were talking to us. Don't think Power of the Printed Word. For your copy, send a check, made out home from a long day spent among so keep your about grammar, don't think about to Doubleday for $795 (includes $2 for shipping), to: Interna- wahoos and savages, a day our writing stuff lit'ry style, don't try to write dramat- tional Paper, Dept 16X, PO. Box 954, Madison Sq. Sta., N.Y, words will help repair. They don't in one place ically, just give us your news. Where NY 10010. ^-^ need to be immortal, just sincere. where you can did you go, who did you see, what She can read them twice and again sit down for a did they say, what do you think? INTERNATIONAL^) PAPER If tomorrow: You're someone I care tew minutes you don't know where to '7/wtt Ifte to itvcii-v miifi ;ii rriiidi lis J it), here's one We believe in the power of the printed word. begin, start with the present mo- about, Ctmnne, and think of often infallible rule: Togxu hier. yo:t\cgt>t to send a letter." and Dear Roy, •\ VANTAGEQ\

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these two different structures important for ith. Take the sense of sight, for Nerve impulses, which are basically gically removed bits of their brains, rea- very simple learned skill. Running a maze located somewhere along the neural path- the same thing?" instance. Images travel from the retina to electrical pulses, do not pass directly from soning that after he had excised the por- required too many different brain func- way. After locating the circuit, he sends an Mishkin and his colleagues think they an area on the surface of the brain known one neuron to the next. The neurons are tion of brain that held the memory engram, tions. A far simpler skill might make a mark electric current through the electrode, de- have the answer. "The functions of these as the visual cortex— a system of stations, separated by a narrow gap known as a the rats would forget their training and get in only one small area of the brain and thus stroying the neurons at its tip. Finally, he two structures," he says, "are really quite each with a constellation ot brain active synapse. When a nerve impulse arrives at lost in the maze. be easier to detect. After about 20 years of dissects the rabbit's brain and records the different, but they share a common theme." cells, or neurons, which fires to create our one side of the synaptic gap, it causes a But it didn't work out that way. Lashley experimenting with this idea, Thompson is precise location of Ihe electrode. That common theme, he says, is "asso- vision of the world- chemical —a neurotransmitter—to be re- found that no matter where in a rat's brain now ready to claim success. Using this and similar techniques, ciation." Memories are evoked in many After exiting the visual system, nerve im- leased. The neurotransmitter floats across he removed tissue, the damage to the an- Thompson's office is done up in a rabbit Thompson labored on for years. His re- ways. A sound can evoke an image: A pulses activate the limbic system specif- the to the other — gap side, where it fits, much imal's memory was about the same. The motif. It is littered with rabbit-shaped cof- ward; being able to trace, for (he first time friend's voice on the telephone, for in- ically the hippocampus and the amygdala. like a key in a lock, into a molecule on the memory engram, it seemed, wasn't any- fee mugs, stuffed rabbits, ceramic rabbits. ever, every link— from ear to eye— in the stance, can flash a mental picture of his Without the limbic system, the vision of a neuron's called membrane a receptor. where; it was everywhere. His attachment to this animal isn't hard to circuitry of a learned behavior and, at ils face through your mind. You can also as- pretty face, for instance, would vanish the When a sufficient number of these neuro- Then in 1949 Donald 0. Hebb, a Cana- figure out: In the past 15 years he has end. the elusive memory engram. He dis- sociate one visual memory with another: moment the image left the retina. Out of transmitters have fit into receptors, the dian neurophysiologist, published a thin trained thousands ol rabbits to perform one covered that the engram of an eye blink is Think of your car keys, and you may also sight, out of mind. Similarly, the remem- nerve fires, carrying another nerve im- monograph called The Organization o! incredibly simple trick. First fie plays a beep contained in a few cubic millimeters of the picture where you left them. Mishkin now brance of the aroma of freshly baked bread, pulse across another synapse. Behavior. In it he argued that basic behav- on a loudspeaker, then he blows a tiny puff cerebellum, the cauliflower-shaped struc- believes that the amygdala and the hip- processed in the cortex's olfactory region, The work of Mishkin clearly shows that iors and memories consist of groups of cells of air at the rabbit's eyes, and the rabbit ture localed near Ihe base of the brain. pocampus are each responsible for mem- or the sound of W. A. Mozart's Twenty-first the limbic system is essential to the act of built up over time. As the organism devel- blinks reflexively. After repeating this sim- Because the cerebellum has long been ory association: The amygdala connects Piano Concerto, which travels through the making and storing memories. But it is also ops, more complex memories are formed. ple sequence a lew times, beep, puff, blink! known to be associated with the control of one sense with another—such as hearing auditory cortex, would vanish. clear that memories actually reside else- Hebb called these assemblies of cells becomes beep, blink! The rabbit learns to movement, Thompson thinks that he and with sight. The hippocampus associates By tracing some of the brain's circuitry, where. With a portion of his limbic system phase sequences. These, he posited, ex- associate the neutral beep with the irritat- his co-workers may have, as he puts it. the spatial location of one object with an- Mishkin believes he has found evidence removed, H.M. still remembered much of ist throughout the nervous system and ing putf. Somewhere in the rabbit's brain, "stumbled upon the storage site of all other. Alone, either structure can create a that the limbic system exerts control over what happened before his operation; he contain alternate pathways, so that even if a memory has formed. Thompson wants learned-skill movements—from walking to memory. But these memories can be another system that releases a class of just couldn't form new memories. some cells are destroyed, others can carry to find out where. talking to any kind of athletic or perform- evoked only directly: The smell of an or- chemicals known as neurotransmitters on in their stead. The reason that Lashley He surgically implants a very fine elec- ance skill, from playing Ihe piano to riding ange can't bring to mind the memory of the throughout the brain. The release of neu- The search for the memory archive in was unable to cut away his rats' ability to trode in the rabbit's brain, in a region along a bicycle." he comments. "We think that the fruit's shape or color without help from the rotransmitters, which come in many vari- our brains was first undertaken run this skill by Harvard a maze was that was too com- a neural circuit. The rabbit is placed in a memory engrams for that whole class of . amygdala, nor can it recall the orange's lo- eties, might result in "fixing" the connec- psychologist Karl Lashley. Back in the plex. Cell assemblies throughout the brain small Plexiglas box inside a soundproof learned-skill movements are located within cation without the hippocampus. tions between neurons that with visual so Twenties, Lashley began experimenting were able to step in and pick up the slack booth. Then tiny puffs ot nitrogen gas are Ihe cerebellum." If what the amygdala and hippocampus memories, for instance, the cells that were with rats, searching for the circuitry re- from the excised bit of brain. directed at one of the rabbit's eyes, and Thompson has uncovered which cells do is becoming clearer to scientists, how active when an image appeared on the sponsible for the ability to learn a simple Using this research, Richard Thomp- electronic beeps are played in one of its change when a simple motor skill is these structures- dp it is still hazy. Simple retina would be linked into an assembly of task, such as running a maze. He figured son, professor of psychology and biologi- ears. The experimenter looks for a pattern learned. But he still doesn't know exactly memories are believed to be processed cells. This assembly might compose the that somewhere among the tangled neu- cal sciences at the University of Southern of nerve activity that matches the pattern how a simple nerve cell changes when a site in and stored at a the cerebral cortex physical trace or engram that means a rons in the brain existed the engram. After California in Los Angeles, reasoned that it of the learned behavior. When he finds it, memory forms. Other scientists, most no- corresponding to the sense they are as- memory has been stored. training his rats to run a maze, Lashley sur- might be easier to locate the engram of a he knows the tip of the electrode must be tably Eric Kandel of Columbia University 70 OMNI —

and Daniel Alkon of the National Institutes a 1974exporimer: British researcher Tim- Once turned on, this special receptor of Health, have sought to unravel this mys- othy Bliss stimulated a bundle of neurons seems to open channels that allow cal- tery. To do so, they have experimented with in the hippocampus with a single electrical cium to flow into Ihe receiving cell. Cal- the sea snail known as Aplysta, which pos- pulse and Ihen measured the resulting cium appears to trigger an array of bio- sesses an extremely simple nervous sys- current. By stimulating the neural pathway chemical reactors increasing the volume tem. In Kahdel's experiment, he would with high-frequency pulses, Bliss found he of the synapse and strengthening the con- touch it the snail's spout, and would with- could make the chain fire off nerve im- nections between neurons, The connec- draw its gill. if But Kandel kept tapping, the pulses with only the slightest provocation tions form a memory trace, and learning, reflex would slowly weaken, and the snail from neighboring cells. When an electrical at its simplest level, takes place. would begin to ignore the stimulus. Why injected pulse was into the circuit of neu- This may be how a single memory is did this happen? rons, it would respond. The response was made. Researchers must solve many more Kandel hypothesizes that this simple then locked in: Weeks later the circuit would puzzles, such as why some memories tade form of learning, known as habituation, re- respond to that electrical pulse in the exact immediately while others last tor years. And sults from a change in the memory trace. way. same The phenomenon looked an what genetic imprint allows some of us to The sensory neurons learn through expe- awful lot like memory: A brief event caused possess finer, deeper memory banks than rience to release less neurotransmitter into a change that lasted a very long time. Two others do? Once we unravel these myster- the synaptic gap. The result: sig- Weaker questions remained, however: In what way ies, says Mishkin, we'll be on our way to nals are sent across the synaptic gap, did the neurons change during LTP; and is understanding Ihe human intellect. causing a weaker response to stimulation. this phenomenon, viewed only in a petri 'Absolutely everything we do is based The opposite reaction can also be in- dish, relevant to the behavior of living, on what we learn and retain," Mishkin ex- duced. Kandel has found that snail learning when a animals? plains. "This research could lead to a whole is given an electric it shock, becomes hy- Lynch thinks so. He theorizes lhat elec- realm of things we can't imagine, new and persensitive to tapping, withdrawing its gill trical stimulation causes the formation of wondrous paths never even dreamed of. at Ihe slightest tap. Neurons can change new synapses between neurons. LTP also All we know for sure is that understanding so that more not less of the neuro- — — seems to strengthen the existing syn- Ihe memory mechanism will help us find transmitter is released into the synaptic apses. Lynch believes that LTP—and thus the reason for our individual differences and gap. In essence, the neurons learn to as- learning — occurs when a special type of the defects that can occur." sociate the electrical shock with the tap receptor is activated by Ihe neurotransmit- And once-we understand the workings and is a memory born. ter known as glutamate. In addition to the of the memory machine, we may know how Gary Lynch of the University of Califor- release of glutamate, Lynch theorizes, an to enhance it. "We may be able to increase nia at Irvine has sought to discover the electrical pulse {such as the nerve im- the amount of memory the brain can store," mechanisms by which synapses change pulses that fire within the brain) Ihrobs says Mishkin. Today drug companies are in a rat's brain when learning takes place. across the neuron's membrane. The volt- busily experimenting with secret com- of Much the work centers on a phenome- age cocks the trigger, so to speak, which pounds that could conceivably help us di- non called long-lerm potentiation (LTP). In is pulled by Ihe arrival of the glutamate. gest and memorize information — Iikea25- page speech—more rapidly. Mishkin also predicts that improved training proce- dures — learning the best time and place for making and storing memories—-could

vastly improve our learning ability. For in- stance; knowledge of our circadian rhythms and the effect they have on our brain cells may give us clues to the best time of day in which to learn. Even brain transplants to enhance .memory and intelligence could be in our future. Right now, Mishkin says, a form of brain transplant is being attempted on vic- tims of Parkinson's disease, a disorder that impairs motor function. The adrenal hor- mone dopamine has been shown to im- prove that motor function. "There's an idea that similar transplants of neurons synthe- sizing other transmitters, like acetylcholine, may also reverse memory loss someday." Evolution, says Mishkin, has left its mark on our nervous systems by wiring them up so that we do certain things instinctively. "Our hearts beat; we breathe. We're born doing Ihese things," he says. "But every-

thing else has to be learned. Memory is absolutely basic to intelligence and every- thing else that we do, that we think aboul, that we know." The work of Mishkin and other researchers of the mind's memory bank is exciting but still has a long way to go before practical cures for memory dis- orders can be implemented. "This science is still in its infancy," Mishkin admits. "Yet "It's pretty dop/m-una: Wilco.x: 24.312 dead it's clear that we're on the threshold of guinea pigs and still not a clue as to why we killed them." learning one of the most important things man has ever sought."OQ ward, I wasn't ever seriously beaten black-

IRJTERY/IEUll and-blue. I was never beaten except for what was regarded as an infringement of

the rules, I wasn't put in an impossible sit- Omni: Do you still believe in Kingsley Hall- uation that I couldn't do the right thing. It type asylums, patients are largely where was always quite clear what was the right freed from control by ttje staff? and the wrong thing. And the punishment Laing: Kingsley Hall was started because was always the infliction of intentional pain

I persuaded the owner it would be a good for doing what you weren't supposed to do. idea lo have a shot at harmlessness. in re- That might be very constrictive but it lationship to people in states of confusion doesn't drive you crazy, because it was and mental distress. No one knew what Ihey quite clear. I was not to eat sugar or to eat were like outside mental hospitals. Be- jam. and if I put on the wrong face I would cause as soon as you got into that sort of get slapped and told to take it off and put state, either you were chained up in the on the right face. That was quite normal in back room or a shed, or you went to a my pari of Glasgow.

mental hospital. I said, What would it be H Omni: So they weren't cruel parents? like if we simply lived together in compan- Laing: No, they didn't pursue me beyond H ionship, reestablishing the broken con- that. Having tea with my grandma I didn't nectedness between them and the rest of lounge as I am doing now, but I sat in an us? That might be the name of the game, upright chair with no side arms, with my l . if that could happen without medication. back straight and my foot on the ground, No one would ever know unless a we had I and would have the heel on one side and £ v', go at it. we were given this building to So point the toes in the other direction. Lift a use for five years. cup with your thumb and first finger. Don't setting The possibility of up small-scale do this or that—or you're in trouble! places— places of refuge for people who Omni: Your father beat you up quite often? are terribly frightened— is still very much You have reported an occasion when he of an option nowadays. You could even call thrashed you within an inch of your life? them sanctuaries, like bird sanctuaries, for Laing: That was his expression, and it was human wildlife, people whose social pro- far from within of an inch my life. When I gramming conditioning and has broken was eight, at school the teacher asked for down, so that ihey are in this wild state. The a show of hands by those whose fathers halfway-house idea has become embed- hit them. Practically the whole class, it ded in the thinking of most countries, but turned out. You didn't bring up any boy this was a whole-way house. properly unless you punished him for Before tranquilizers, electric shocks, and breaches of discipline. My father would be lobotomies ever came in, of the people who regarded in some company today as harsh broke down, got diagnosed psychotic, as but not at all in those days, especially in and were admitted to mental hospitals. that part of Scotland. He probably gave about a third had a tendency to get them- me a good thrashing seven to eight times. selves together again and be out in three Omni: Didn't your mother disapprove of months, without any of the treatments that your being a psychiatrist? are given almost immediately. now As far Laing: She called psychiatry a filthy idea, as I know, the only scientific survey which If I was going into medicine I could at least compares so-called untreated people in a become a surgeon —something clean, not decent context with treated people in a crawling around the gutter of people's filth I clinical context that shows people who get Why would anyone want to do that? no psychiatric treatment whatever tend to About ten years ago my mother and I do better than people who are given the were standing beside each other at my fa- thorough most treatment in a psychiatric ther's funeral, His earthly remains were context. There is not the slightest evidence about to chug along a mechanical track that they do worse. I have been invited to with the coffin on it into the crematorium. I a number of psychiatric contexts in Amer- had decided on this occasion I would be- ica to clinical do demonstrations with have impeccably. I'd give her a present of schizophrenia. I said I would interview a my father's funeral. When ihe minister schizophrenic if they could present one pressed the button to start the coffin going who wasn't on medication. You scour the off into the flames, I felt some waves of length and breadth of this country to find emotion in me, and I turned to her and said any diagnosed schizophrenic under psy- in a low voice, "Don't you find this rather chiatric care who isn't the run and also on moving?" She turned and said to me, isn't on medication. A generation of psy- "Ronald, think of something else!" chiatrists don't know what such people are Omni: So did your childhood motivate you like if they are not medicated. to pursue the work you have done? Omni: Your childhood like night- sounds a Laing: Yes, but not particularly because of of mare middle-class repression. Is this why its strictness. It just was my life that I got you feel such empathy for the insane as up in winter, threw myself into a cold bath, victims of oppression? dressed, had an apple, banana, plate of Laing: Everyone's view is like of the world porridge, went to school, came back, did organic plant which from an grows one's homework, had tea, practiced piano, did beginnings. childhood My was quite ex- more homework, looked at the fire for half plicitly strict but comparatively straightfor- an hour, and then went to bed. That was it. I a lonely childhood. I don't f.rst glass had remember of wine she had ever drunk in proach it this way and that way and slop a single friend of my mother or lather com- her life! She liked it. and go back and come from another an- ing round to the house ever! They didn't Ompi: Do you feel people project a lot of gle. It both frightens them and they also

have any— except for musicians, who expectations onto you and expect you to think it is incoherent. A lot of people have came quite often because my father was be an exemplary figure? got their pads and their pencils out and a singer and played music and sang, it was Laing: Oh, absolutely! A lot of people don't want to take notes, and some can't take

I I very rare for to ever into anyone's realize that fa't! innk I me go hoy get as far as I notes. Quite a few phrases are seeded into

I till house, even boys at school. never did probably breathe! And I must shil! Ha-ha! it which they can write downfrom memory,

I was fourteen. I have no idea al all what people's expec- but it's not listed "heading." then "para-

So when I got into psychiatry tations are. Ural book. The Divided and came My Self graph," paragraph, eic. I can do that sort across frantic, people in sold in broken-down sixteen hundred copies four years, of thing, bul I am not choosing to do il. psychiatric units of mental hospitals, my during which time I wrote another two Omni: Do you want people to understand awareness was that I really knew very little books. Then in 1967 the Poiitics of Experi- what you're. saying? about how other people actually lived, nor ence came out in this country and became Laing: Yes, yes. but the message, manner,

, did any of my psychiatric colleagues ever over a period of years, without me knowing form of presentation is part of the medium,

to seriously thought it, very influential have about I seem how a book among students. am experimenting, I want to get this to- they got themselves into psychiatric units books My to into I seem divide people two gether so that can hold more people. I in the first place. Sometimes patients would camps. Some say they can't uncicsland don't like people walking olI in the middle, get themselves together and go out of the them, that they are boring, and others say even though the majority may say thai's

hospital for then they'd they are I a few months, and dangerous. had a lot of stuff laid great. I would like, ideally to give the sort be back again. It began to occurto me that on me about being a communist, an an- of talk where everyone would be spell- maybe what went outside the psychi- archist, on an acidhead, an alcoholic, an am- bound. If I can't, I might revert to a more atric setting might be relevant to how peo- bulatory schizophrenic. The term maver- blah-blah-blah -o ah bah tyoe of delivery.

ple got into that setting patienis. Also, I as ick would be the least of them. I did Omni: Have you ever been in a menial never met a single member of the other hospital at all? sex of my age until I was seventeen except Laing: No, no, no. All these rumors about extreme glancingly. So I didn't take for meditation, drugs, and suffering from a granted that people need people and all mental disorder are attempts to account that sort of thing. I always looking with was I for the way come across. I have asked •/ suggesting eyes of wonder at the way people carried am people what gives them such an impres- on with each other. When I was about four- that it would ease things sion. Apparently my movements on the teen, on a Sunday afternoon I would si! on stage are unusual and provoke some peo- tor some people top of a tramcar and all go round Glasgow ple to the idea I must be suffering from a and look at other people, just as other peo- it we allowed a bit more ot catatonic or ataxic disorder of the motor ple go to a zoo to look at chimpanzees. system, and that this can be for what I call accounted Omni: You give a shocking account in The by organic psychosis or functional psy- Facts of Life of your father beating your experiential anarchy. I'm up chosis or toxic psychosis. I am doing it in grandfather, dumping him in the bath and not preaching terms of very fine nuances. If I had to, I pouring cold water on him, and then throw- anarchy but law and orderl coufo give a lecture ike a Swiss professor. ing him out all wet and bloody into the Omni: Why do you think people get so wor- street, and when he walked away, saying, ried ii there is a long pause? "He held himself up very well. You've got Laing: They're le-Tfied o' sience. They think to hand it to him." you will never be able to think again, talk

Laing: That was a story I was brought up again, or it's the funny farm, or you've got on. I did not see that. A family saga, a story. experiment wi;h all suns o" states o- con- Alzheimer's because you are in (he middle

It was true. My grandfather lived around sciousness, but when these drugs were il- ol a sentence and you have forgotten what the corner, never and he set foot in our legal, I used LSD as 'part of my clinical you have said al Ihe beginning of it. For house again, and my father only went round practice, fully medical official. years I was absolutely lemhed I would for- there a year for sherry at Year. once New Well, from the Seventies I to about- now get what I was going to say. I wouldn't be Omni: So it was a pretty tough childhood, have people in become someone America able to read what I had written. My legs pretty wild? think of when they have to think of a Euro- would start to tremble. I'd piss myself, mighl

Laing: Well, I never had to take my trousers pean intellectual, like Sartre or Camus, and shit myself, might develop an attack ol down and bend down and gel caned on they can't think of anyone. This sort of stuff asthma in the middle ol the stage. A num- my naked flesh in an English public school.l began to focus to some' extent on me or ber of years ago at the New York Academy It was literally the case that my father and rather not on me but on R, D. Laing as a of Medicine, belore about a thousand peo- slept togoTier. mother never yes. I hope, a figure, possible shared ple, I a guide, a sort of gave a talk on a theme I had been my mother's bedroom, which to guru figure. used be Western Then when they ex- thinking about for years. ! was so concen- their bedroom, and my father had another perience I like giving what am a lecture, trated on what I was saying thai at one point room we always called the kennel. don't it dog they like at all. thing I As one occurs became aware that I couldn't see my own

Neither of could I them make out how to me, another will, I came and will voice that; and body. I could see the hall and the podium. along. always it Mother swore was an an- the connection may not to I lalking listening be so obvious was and to myself, and I swer to a prayer she put up! I like that idea, thern as it is to me. But if you think of what was talking very well, better than usual. A but I have a birthmark here on my knee you are listening to still as something like a number of people remember it. I was that's the same as my lather's. canvas, if il rather was n space than sound, continuing to talk, and I didn't know where father My anything. I I never drank don't ihen sort'of painting I I am on a canvas. was or who was. and I couldn't even see think he was ever in his life. drunk When A number of people have got up and myself. I thought, Well! Better keep on lis-

over I I mofher was eighty, I my went round walked out. think they do because they tening carelully to what I am saying. In due to her house on her birthday with a bottle are getting style a of thinking thai is pro- course I looked down, and my body was ol rose to have glass of wine with her. She a grammed out.of many people. They have there again, and I just went on Ihrough it. by then suffered from hypothermia, certain and to ol digital I have a :ype comput- But am not expecting any mercy. I prob- after just a couple Of sips of this wine she erized thinking. They don't think at all. They ably do that lor my own reasons of taking completely flushed up. She said it was the don't go round about something and ap- it right to the limit or beyond the limit.DO 76 OMNI V6T*

Man's bursts of ere.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY DEAN HIMMELR „.., a,apheroftt works, was not expecting the aee

; "imaginary astronomy" by photographing colored inks along with solid objects. He ' his camera for a long re to give the illusion of

i and the swirling

- 1 to the i act photograph on 77, the one above distinctly resembles a galactic body— the Ring nebula, with its luminous gas streaks and its sprinkling of suns. At left. r i

corona glowing behind Ihe wrrn pitch-black moon and, on a minding gases, inviting them to enter the sphere's eous eruption blazing into view. orbit. —Nina Guccione DO m%M What was intriguing: Zasloff had per- western Colombia for hundreds of years formed a routine operation to remove the as the source of their blowgun dart poison, EARTH frog's ovaries for a genetics research proj- Phyllobates terribiUs was first written about CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2t ect; and although the frog was exposed to in the Thirties by Swedish anthropologist salamanders harbor may help scientists a cornucopia of infeclious agents in the Henry Wassen. Though unable to secure further explore those parts of the brain that tank, the wound was healing perfectly. By a specimen for examination, Wassen did neurotoxins (poisons that stop the brain all accounts the frog should have been acquire darts purportedly dipped in the

from sending out instructions) affecl, teeming with infection. frog's poison. It wasn't until 40 years later, thereby leading to the discovery of how and Armed with enthusiasm and curiosity, based on Wassen's research 'on a similar why the brain transmits these messages to Zasloff spent months 'trying to find an- ex- species, Phyllobates aurotaenia. that the body in the first place. planation. He found in the frog an unknown Charles Myers, a herpetologist from the

It isn't just herpetologists who are delv- family of antibiotics that kill off bacteria, American Museum of Natural History, con- ing into these mysteries; people like Dr. Mi- fungi, and parasites and that might work firmed the existence of this lethal creature. chael Zasloff of the National Institutes of on viruses and cancers. Zasloff called As Myers, along with chemist John Daly Health (NIH) combine intellect and expe- these new antibiotics "magainins," from the and ethnozoologist Borys Malkin, wrote in rience with imagination. Hebrew word for shield. their monograph for the American Mu- Zasloff, chief of human genetics at the "It is the first time a chemical defense seum of Natural History Bulletin: "The new NIH. has come into national prominence system separate from the immune system species proved to be much more toxic than these days because of the African clawed has been discovered in vertebrate ani- could have been predicted from our pre- frog, or Xenopus laevis. This particularly mals," Zasloff explained. While the doctor vious experience wilh other poison-dart hearty frog has been used for years in uni- is optimistic that magainins will help to cure frogs, and we heeded the advice of our versities, hospitals, and research centers, diseases that suppress immunity, he Indian friends, and handled it with appro- due to ils resilient and adaptable nature. doesn't want to raise any false hopes. Yet priate caution, especially after acciden- The African clawed frog thrives on benign some of his colleagues are comparing Zas- tally killing a few of their domestic animals neglect—the term Barker used on The To- loff's finding to the discovery ot penicillin. that got into our contaminated garbage." night Show to describe how he cares for Clues to neurophysiology may be unrav- What makes these bright golden-yellow his animals at home. Because of benign eled thanks to a second species of frog, amphibians, which resemble small tree neglect one of the great medical discov- called Phyllobates terribilis, which is frogs, so dangerous? They secrete a com- eries of our lime came about. Zasloff was thought to be one of the most poisonous bination of alkaloids not previously identi- daydreaming in his laboratory in the sum- animals known to man. It is believed that fied, called batratoxin and homobatrach- mer of 1986 when he noticed one of his just one specimen can secrete enough otoxin. The molecules of these poisons are African clawed frogs swimming through a toxins to kill at least 20,000 mice; less than so small that they can enter the human stagnant, bacteria-filled tank. Frogs are al- .006 ounce can kill a 150-pound human. body through hair follicles. ways swimming through stagnant ponds, And there is no known antidote. Sitting on every lab table in the herpe- so there was nothing unusual about that. Used' by the Embera Indians in norlh- tplogy department of the American Mu- seum of Natural History are terrariums housing the only live collection of Phyllo-

hatu:, terribihs : n the United States. "In this.particular group of frogs, their skin secretions contain alkaloids," Myers says as several of the frogs stare out from their glass terrariums. "For some years we have

been surveying this family, which is con- fined to the tropics, and we've been trying to sample all the brightly colored species .we think to be toxic and sample their skin secretions." When asked what benefits frog secretions have to offer medical science,

Myers explains that his collaborator Daly is trying to isolate the alkaloids to determine their structure. "Some of these compounds do odd things to muscle/nerve interac- tions, and so they're useful primarily as molecular probes in neurophysiological

research." Myers says. To put it simply, the

problem is that you have nerves that are no bigger than a hair, and the electrical event that occurs there is over almost as

soon as it happens; and the only tools a neurophysiologist has are the various sub- stances that interfere with that electrical

message, in some way.

It may appear to be mad-scientist stuff or fodder for Johnny's jokes, but in the long run our so-called slimy friends might just hold trie key to our future. Already doctors at the NIH are experimenting with ways

magainins can be used to treat cystic fi- brosis; and as Brodie and Myers continue

to classify the alkaloids of all the world's amphibians, other cures may be waiting there, under the rain forest canopy.DQ 82 OMNI SOME PEOPLE BUILD THEIR CASTLES IN THE AIR...

OMNI MAGAZINE IS THEIR BLUEPRINT

There is an architecture to the human spirit. A superstructure deep in the heart of some people that inspires and encourages them on to greatness. They exact perfection. Seek invention. And they find it in the pages of OMNI Magazine OMNI readers insist on the best. They index 76% higher than the national average in reaching professional/managerial status, and 67%

higher when it comes to purchasing Luxury/Quality it They're building the future both in thoughts and in deec you con reach over four million of them in the pages of OMNI Magazine. Dnnrui INGENUITY BY DESIGN FRACMENTS OF PAPYRUS FROM THE TEMPLE OF THE OLDER CODS

Even the mighty Pharaoh can find himself up the creek without a paddle. A

measure of his power—what he does about it BY WILLIAM KOTZWINKLE

IA\nd how long will you be stay- ing in our Tomb City, Maiesty?" asked the Chief Architect. "We must leave tomorrow," said Pharaoh, sucking spiced beer through a straw. 'A thousand tasks await me." The Pharaoh's Chief Praiser hiccuped silently, then spoke from his place at the banquet table. "His Majesty's work is never done, his works are many and profound. This is our Leader, our Chief, without defect, sublime in his intent—" The Chief Preiser's solemn incantation ceased as Ihe danc- ing giris entered the party room and began their Moon Config- urations, each girl representing one phase of ihe night-jewel. Punctuating the sound of their ankle bells came the distant sound of the whip, cracking even in the night, over the heads of the slave workers toiling in the City of Pharaoh's Tomb. "We've made great progress since your last visit, sire," said the Chief Architect, nodding toward the whip sounds. "He has given us slaves," chanted the Chief Praiser. "Thou- sands has he smote and put in chains. This is our ruler, pro- vided with flames, far-reaching of hand, generous, astute, wise PAINTING BY GILBERT WILLIAMS " " " — as the sun, purified in his nest slightly drunk ana 'eeling ihe winds of in- who spoke to no one. who placed a cup to "Purified in my nest?" Pharaoh lifted his spiration whirling him upward. Attempiing his lips. eyebrow. to forge one of the great chains of praise, "Which man. Your Majesty?" "It is an accepted laudation. Your Maj- he waved his arms outward over Phar- "There, he turns toward me. He wears a esty," said the Chief Praiser, putting on ". a aoh's head. . .Lord of Ihe Solar Barque, red stone at his throat." wounded expression. a cloud of divinity, a never-setting star who The Chiei Architect cast his gaze where Pharaoh shook his head, indicating never sinned, the bull of terror to his foe, Pharaoh's finger pointed. "But I see no such wonder, but' the Chief Praiser was allowed who possesses all things, quicker than the man, Majesty." to continue. greyhound, soul of mankind, who rescued "He carries a papyrus roll. How strange His chanting was drowned out, how- our kingdom in times of violence, who has his skin is— he's been burned at the neck. ever, the cackling laughter ." by of . Pharaoh's destroyed evil, who. Observe. Architect, if you have eyes in your dwarf, who ran among the dancing girls, The Chief Praiser fell into a fatal pause head, his skin is like a reptile's." swinging a toy at the end of mummy a string but started up again ". . is quickly. .who the "Sire. . ."The Chief Architect's face tilled and making lewd comments. The delicate double Lion God. who throws excrement with concern. He signaled the Fan Bearers Moon Configurations were spoiled, the in the face of his enemies, who never stole to increase the air current about the Phar- dancing girls tripping and squealing as milk from a child— aoh's brow. they were struck by the mummy. "That will do for now, Chief Praiser. Rest "You don't see the noble lord approach- "What a disgusting little man," said the yourself." Pharaoh turned to the Chief Ar- ing me?" asked Pharaoh, staring straight

Chief Architect's wife. "If I may say so, Your chitect and said quietly, "He's good tor at the man, who was now standing but a Majesty. about an hour of solid praise, and then he tew feel from the banquet table, a faint smile "Oh, yes, quite," said Pharaoh. "Quite starts grasping at straws." Pharaoh on his lips. disgusiing." Pharaoh sat back in his seat, reached for his beer, and the pain in his "No, sire." his shoulder stiff from bow practice. He right arm struck again, down the length of Pharaoh looked quickly to his dwarf, who

rubbed it gingerly, and the Chief Praiser, it and across his chest. stood mouth open, eyes wide in terror, his seeing the soreness, rushed to incorpo- 'Are you ill, sire?" gaze where Pharaohs was.

rate if in his litany. "No, I am not but tell me, who is that guest "What do you see?" snapped the ruler. "Master of the bow, compound suffering over there? I do not recognize him from my "A shadow," answered the dwarf. He to learn all martial arts in the protection of own ranks." turned abruptly, running away on his de- ." his people. . Pharaoh pointed lo a tall man in a formed legs, dragging his little toy mummy The Chief Praiser rose from his seat, white robe, whose manners were perfect, behind him. Anewconcept In wordprocessing unfolds.

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"So," said Pharaoh, rising to receive the gold with a fringe of emerald green. "Your mouth is closed up, Majesty? But honored guest. Entering the captain's cabin he found it of course, of course. Sire, please let me "I must touch you, Your Majesty," said luxuriously appointed it but deserted. The open for you. I tound the instrument our the guest. ship nonetheless kept a straight course first night onboard." Pharaoh extended his hand, and the over the dark waters. As the furnishings of The Chief Praiser went to the corner of guest's leathery finger touched him lightly. the boat were first-class, he felt that all was the galley and brought forth a piece of An enormous stone fell from the firma- proceeding according to divine plan and wood shaped into a ram's head, crowned ment, and Pharaoh felt its cold edge that he. as the Son ol Heaven, ." would soon by a snake. "II you'll allow me. sire. . crushing his chest. The banquet room reach his eternal home. He relaxed upon The Chief Praiser placed the snake's dimmed. His doctors were surrounding a soft white couch and watched the-dark head on the lips of Pharaoh and pried them him. The honored guest was leaving, shore flow by. open, along with his teeth. through a rear door, past the spear-hold- To his surprise, another craft appeared "There you are, Highness. The dead shall ing guards. out of the darkness — a tiny canoe, primi- speak, as the saying goes, only a matter A second slab of granite fell, filling the tive in the extreme. of finding the right tool." ppres of Pharaoh's body with stone, and What was such a vulgar vessel doing on "How came you to be aboard my soiar the banquet room was no longer visible. the divine waterway? Pharaoh walked out craft?" asked Pharaoh, not unkindly, for he Instead Pharaoh dimly beheld the inte- on deck to investigate. Leaning against the was grateful to the Chief Praiser for that rior of his great tomb and saw his gathered rail, he peered out across the water and little trick of opening the mouth. people heard and his final praises being discovered that it was his dwarf in the "Your craft, Majesty?" The Chief Praiser ". sung. . .this was our Great King, the Per- canoe, furiously paddling. looked puzzled fect Cleansed One, who has gone to his Pharaoh attempted a greeting and found "Yes," said Pharaoh. "I'm merely curi- ." horizon, , . that his mouth was closed tight. strained He ous, Chief Praiser. Believe me when I say The Chief Praiser spoke, and the two to open it but found he could not. He waved I'm happy to have you and your wife on- lands were filled with crying. his arms, trying to attract the dwarf's atten- board my eternal ship." "He goes up the smoke of the great ex- "Your Majesty is joking, as always," said halation. Mighty in life, he is thousandfold the Chief Praiser. "Your tongue is subtle, mighty in death. Discernment is placed at swift, speaks in riddling wonders, has a his — feet. He has captured the horizon. We. thousand currents, is never tired his wilting servants, go with him, into dark- "Chief Praiser. an answer, please." ness, with tive Chief Praiser's the prayer that we may join him "Majesty, there is some small misunder- on his voyage upon the Solar Barque." chanting was drowned out by standing— mine, of course. I cannot follow Pharaoh saw his dwarf being dragged the cackling your lightning-fast implications, cannot to the lomb, filthy little heels digging in discern the delicacy of your reasoning. I against the sand, but the dwarf was no laughter of Pharaoh's dwarf, can only say that this humble craft is the match for the soldiers, and they hurled him spiritual property of who ran among my wife and I. There, into the crypt. as you can see, upon the walls is written Chief Praiser the Chief Praiser's the dancing girls, swinging a The and the history of our life. You'll find it upon this wife entered of their own accord, and then toy mummy on a string wall and all the walls. This poor ship bears third a slab of stone came down on Phar- all the traces of our time on Earth, Majesty, aoh's and making lewd comments.^ soul, settling into place with a sound where we served humbly in your magnifi- that reverberated endlessly, a thousand cent court." thunders echoing across the sky. The Chief Praiser scraped, bowed a lit- Pharaoh was entombed. tle, and concluded; "In no way could this simple ship be called your Solar Barque, of Out the dark density of the night-stone, tion, lor fhe little fellow would be amusing Majesty. Such a thing is laughable. Your he perceived of light a ray growing ever to have onboard. solar craft is made of blinding light, is filled

brighter and more It splendid. dissolved The dwarf saw the signal, stopped pad- with magical garlands, is attended by the hard edges of the stone, turning the dling for a moment, and stared at Pharaoh. countless goddesses. stone to dark water. The heaviness that had Pharaoh gave another commanding wave. "Isis and Nephthys salute thee, they sing surrounded and crushed him became a The dwarf answered with an obscene unto thee in thy boat hymns of joy. You are warm bath. gesture and resumed paddling, off down the ruler of the god;.. Maje^!y and your boat He stood upon the shore of a black Nile. a dark, silent tributary. is beyond description." The Chief Praiser There was no palace, no houses, no Pharaoh stood dumbfounded at the rail. rapped his hand against the cupboard of fields of waving grain. There was a black I gave him the fines! tomb in the world, the galley. "We have here a sturdy vessel, Nile and a ship. golden The ship came and he gives me insult. Should we meet a good little craft, but a Solar Barque? slowly over the water; strange and beauti- again in this dark world. I'll pay the pygmy Never. Majesty, never." ful lights emanated from the hull, sweeping back, or I'm not the All Gracious One. Pharaoh reflected in himself over this the surface of the black Nile. Pharaoh, still puzzling about the ingrati- peculiar turn of events, then turned to the Pharaoh waited on the shore as the ship tude of slaves, found a flight of stairs lead- walls of the galley where the inscriptions near, came and all was in stillness except ing to a galley of the boat. He descended were written in glowing azure letters. In- for the lapping of the black waves. The ship them, attracted by the aroma of cooking deed they did describe the life of the Chief sent forth a white beam of light that crossed soup. Following his nose, he opened a door Praiser and his wife. So must the inscrip- the water and touched the shore at his feet. and was astounded to see the Chief Praiser tions on deck, which he'd seen on first He stepped upon it and' found it firm and his wife inside, at the stove, cooking boarding but hadn't bothered to read, for enough to hold his spirit body. supper, he was accustomed to thinking that all such ship The was deserted, moving under a "Your Majesty, howwonderfultoseeyou inscriptions naturally referred to his own

mysterious and silent power. Pharaoh again! " The Chief Praiser leapt up, praising glorious self. wandered the decks, which were made of and bowing. "We're honored, honored. Where, then, he asked himself quietly, is a finely woven- substance, luminous and Please be seated, O ruler of nations. O my boar? Did I miss if> _ pulsating. While studying its peculiarities, sanctified dispenser of happiness." He turned to the Chief Praiser, he discovered that his own body was made' Pharaoh pointed to his mouth, which he "Yes, of course, Chief Praiser, as you say, of the same substance— a dancing light of could. not open. your boat indeed. And a fine boat it is. I 88 OMNI " —

: wanted to extend my blessing to it, wanted 'Actually," said Pharaoh nervously, "I fire, the celeslia- radiance: o the spiritual to sanctify it with my presence, in gratitude prefer the simple fare of your boat." sun. toward which many craft were sailing, for the wonderful service you gave me all • "You are a man ol the people, Majesty. It to Judgment Day. in the Hall of Truth.

through life." is your greatness and your glory. I shall "They weigh one's heart in the scale," "I'm deeply touched. Majesfy," said the praise this aspect of your nature through- said the Chief Praiser. "But of course that's Chief Praise', fawnirg slightly as he laid out out eternity." just a mere formalify for— you. As for her" two golden soup bowls. "We have here a Pharaoh signaled an end to the discus- he pointed at his,wife "I don't know. She soup of some delicacy, if you would care sion, for references to the Solar Barque put frequently lapsed into inattentiveness when

to join me." the All Gracious One on edge. It wouldn't I practiced my praising." "Happy to, Chief Praiser. happy," said do for the Chief Praiser to know that his His wife's mute face grew fearful. She Pharaoh, who, now that reached into her robe FOR A MOMENT, NO CeO tf.'O?;. NO ZHEEkS, NOTHING BETWEEN YOU his mouth was open, and brought out her AND THE PURE 10Y OF VICTOR) O.Mi'G/,. fOR AU'fOUR SIGNIFICANT .VOVENT;: saw no reason not to fill heart— a tiny red vase, it. He sat down at the which she held up to emerald table and them, The Chief Praiser tucked a napkin under laughed scornfully, his chin. "You didn't 1 reached into his own happen to actually . . . robe, and came out with see the Solar Barque a denied coin, which he around anywhere, did held up to the spiritual you?" he asked. sun. "Catches the light

"No, Majesty, I didn't." nicely, don't you think? The Chief Praiser la- ii Well, in any case, our dled out the soup with hearts don't matter. Your a golden spoon. Majesty, for we are "There's no trouble with merely part of your en- it, is there, sire?" tourage. Your great and

"No, no, certainly not. glorious heart will gain

I was just wondering— us our admittance." what you thought of it, "Yes, certainly," said how you liked the style. Pharaoh, "To be sure." She's a magnificent S '"'* The sovereign excused boat, makes wonderful himself then, explaining

time. I sent it on ahead that he wanted to take when I saw your boat. I H^fe^S one last walk around the said to Isis, There's the deck before they Chief Praiser's boat, -^ reached port. and I wish to travel in it, When he was out of for the Chief Praiser is r sight behind the wheel- the finest of men.' ~ house, he reached in- K ^ ,A/| "Majesty, there are side his robe. His hand tears of joy in my eyes passed through layers and in those of my wife." ; of golden weave, which The Chief Praiser's kept parting before him, wife lowered her head, L_ ever opening. He rum- her eyes appearing to maged around, fished be filled not with joy but and searched, then tore with hunger. the robe ofl and shook

"Your wife is very si- it. "There must be some ." lent, Chief Praiser. Is sort of mistake. . . there some trouble?" *» He turned the robe f out. The Chief Praiser a inside held it up to spooned soup to his the light, examined the lips. "She's still upset OMEGA sleeves, the cuffs, the over being suffocated lining, OMEGA. OFFICIAL TIMEKEEPER OF THE OLYMPIC GAMES, CAtGAHyAND SEOUL 198S. But he found no

in your tomb, and as I heart. Thus prepared would rather not listen to for judgment, he her complaints, Your SH R E VE 3 CO. watched somewhat

Majesty. I have not uneasily as fhe boat opened her mouth. If docked and a croco- *m*mwrmmm mw>m COMPANY Of FINEJEHUU you know what's good dile-headed god mo-

1 "! for you, sire, I would advise you to allow sovereign was not rig bul a stowaway. tioned him down the gangplank. DO the situation to remain so." This entire affair, reflected Pharaoh, is typical of the oversight one encounters at William Koizwmkie lias written a number Of Pharaoh spent the remainder of the voy- the higher levels of government. When he map: lanlasy novels, including Doctor Rat, which won :!>e Work: ran:n:,y Award. is age walking on deck with the Chief Praiser met with the Divine hierarchy, he'd set some He also the author of the novel E.T —The Extratenes- or snoozing in the empty guest room. The heads rolling. Inal His other novels include Superman III. The heavenly, soup was continually replen- Fan Man. trouble m Bjglarc a.id The Exile. ished in a mysterious way. Thus did they sail on, until one day they Kolzv.'inKilr ,!> ii I WC, urns rSCiplCni O' the p'OS- "One of the features spiritual in on a boat," discerned a light the distance, growing ligious National Magazine Award lor Fiction said the Praiser. "I suppose Ihey do il much slowly brighter as 'hoy a nor cached. The and was bom in Scranton. Pennsylvania.. He more grandly on the Solar Barque." entire river was finally lit with its majestic cannot be reached by telephone. i/da's alien wanted to talk to me, so she offered

to channel him. I accepted witt

Aliens made all the chif.ehal adoul our headlines lhai week. names, he asked il I But they were Mexi- had any questions

I I did. though felt cans. I was after aliens quite silly asking them. of another sort— i he nonhuman kind. A Where do UFOs come

from? I Began He ex- good place to start. I thought, would be a plained that they conference of con- come from different taclees and abduct- planets, from mtercli- ees held at Ihe Uni- versity of Wyoming. well as from Earth. The latter are "pseudo- So I packeda taps re- corder and an open UFOs." he said. They mind and headed off are manufactured in Brazil for Laramie by German refugee's and are I. was not disap- pointed. The highlighl manned by depraved power-hungry came in the course of and introductions, when alien renegades who several pe have mlerbred.with

sisted I should talk to Ida Kannenberg. We Should we tear Ihe had something in space people'' He re- common, they said plied' "Some of the

is : space people are So 1 met Ida. Ida a UPD/nTE UFD lor their pleasant, somewhai here more serious elderly woman who claims to have met the aliens in own purposes and interests than they are to help Earth peo 1940 on Highway 10, near Desert Center. California. Later. pie They are more clinically ahd scientilically minded They under regressive hypnosis, she learned that two-beings had do not have. Ihe compassion and emotions ol Earth people come to her car and guided her to a "round cabin" Implants They are Iherelore ruthless m their abductions and exami- were placed in her nose, ears, and brain to let "them" hear nations. Bui mostly you have lo fear people of Ihe earth and see through her. For eight years Ida has been in con- I asked haw to contact the space people, forgetting that

i call stant telepathic contact with one of those aliens. he was one of Ihem He didn t catch the slip "Don us. myself to Ida, startled The we'll call you. You are acceptable You will be contacted, 'he When I Introduced she was last replied. Thanks is such a flattering woid reason? Her alien and I had strikingly similar names. Mv Acceptable

I question the government know about name is Huyghe His name is Hweig I was born with mine had one last Does He had made up his from random letters Ida then told me you'' "We have worked with the U S. government since 1926 her alien would be interested in talking to me. and she of- in various ways They don't knowallaboutus—no n to give information but newer fered to channel him for me. I accepted without hesitation We have had occasions them will war tare' ] that, to weapons So it was thai at 11.45 on the night of July 12 1987. wem information lead or to"too.m 1720 of Ihe Wyo Motel in Laramie and conversed, Al lire end. Hweig said we would meet again Late' Ida through Ida. with an alien with a name like mine. Huyghe lold me more about Hweig He looks like we do. she said. meets Hweig. His first word. "Hello, was spoken in a voice and for good reason Hweig is halt human His mother is more measured and slightly deeper than Idas Following Russian ano he was born on Earth PATRICK HUYGHE masses. "Essentially Keely developed the field of applied quantum acoustics, which we're just beginning to un- derstand," says Pond "Quan- tum mechanics says matter is simply vibrating energy. Keely said the same thing, and that by manipulating vibrations according to musi-

cal theory, you could in turn manipulate matter. By apply- ing the right frequencies

In the right order, Keely could dissociate, then reas- semble specific molecules. Clean nuclear energy, in other words." Even some of his critics agree that Keely was a master machinist whose mo- tors were the engineering marvels of their day. Unfortu- nately, to be set in motion many of his inventions de- pended on musical harmo- nies only Keely understood. What is knownis that Keely coined his own epitaph. 'Just call me the greatest humbug of the nineteenth century," he said. Whether he wrote the music for his own

funeral is still up in the air, — Dennis Stacy

air. Under the lab's floor- himself did not completely boards they reportedly found understand what he was Following the death of a sphere containing plasma doing. "You have to remem- Philadelphia inventor John gas that enabled the inven- ber," explains Dale Pond, Worrell Keely in 1898, the tor 10 start and slop a series a Colorado Springs computer disgruntled Investigators who of seemingly enigmatic consultant, "that John Keely tore up his two-story labora- engines. His reputation sub- was a pioneer who made tory uncovered evidence sequently evaporated, along up his own vocabulary as he of apparent massive fraud. with the $6 million raised went along," Keely claimed to have dis- by Keely Motor Company Pond, who edits and covered a new "force" with stockholders. publishes the Journal of which he could dissociate But Keely 's adherents Sympathetic Vibratory Phys- water molecules, generating contend he was simply mis- ics, joined 50 faithful follow-

stupendous pressure in understood. If he engaged ers in Dallas last summer the process. in a few innocent fund- for the First International Keely Critics charged that Keely raising hoaxes along the way. Symposium, aimed at ex- was dissociating only hoi it was only because Keely plaining the master to the 92 OMNI "

beards was also accurate. "There is a widespread tradition of a tall white man The number 7 pops up with a long white beard and lepeatedly in cultures all over flowing robe who came to the planet, trom Snow White Earth, taught Ihe people, and & the Seven Dwarfs to the returned to the sky." Seven Wonders of the World. But historian William Stieb-

This is more than coinci- ing of the University of New dence, says Leonard Farra in Orleans remains unconvinced his book Genesis Seven that extraterrestrials may

(Vantage Press); it is the leg- have once paid a visit to acy of seven extraterrestrial Earth "Although it's theoreti- spaceships that visited Earth cally possible, we have around 5,000 years ago. absolutely no archaeological Farra, an accountant in Es- or historical evidence that sex, England, claims he this ever happened came up with this theory such symptoms. Says Brod, (hanks to information that was "We are seeing a generation provided by a long-dead He became interested in of kids growing up who American Indian by the name computers at the age of are losing access to human of Quatal. Speaking through eight and by age eighteen emotions. They develop medium Gerry Shemck in he was suffering from what machine standards for them- 1979, Quatal related, "I was

. at the doctors call computer syn- selves, and I for one feel on your Earth plane drome. In tact, a paper in the that this does not portend Well time when strange men Danish Weekly Journal for for their healthy develop- came down from the heavens Doctors says the- boy was so ment."— Rick Doling to visit Earth." The spirit obsessed with computers went on to describe seven that he acquired a "mechani- "As far as the laws ot flying craft that each carried cal, disillusioned mentality." mathematics refer to reality, seven men. which inhibited his emotional they are not certain; and Intrigued. Farra began development and caused as far as they are certain, they researching Quatal's tale, "I " him to think and dream do not refer to reality. found that stones of seven in computer language. —Albert Einstein men from the heavens go "For example," the boy back thousands of years and all Then is the number 7 said, "I could wake up in the are found over the world." why night and think: Line 10, For example, Farra says, so popular? "No one knows," " answers Stiebmg. "And there's go to the bathroom The the Mayans believed they young man was so came from seven caves, no way to prove it's not disoriented that he lost his which were linked to seven simply because people have propensity for choosing', ability to tolerate the ambigu- gods, and Tibetan traditions a seven as a holy number or a ity of normal human interac- maintain that mankind's tions, instead requiring spiritual teachers were seven lucky one,"— Sherry Baker precise and literal instruc- kings from seven stars. "In tions—much like computer all the Middle Eastern reli- "In each of seven nouses are seven cats, each commands— in order to gions the seven archangels there complete simple tasks: are linked with seven heav- cat kills seven mice, each Craig Brod, a practicing ens," he adds, mouse would have eaten psychologist and author Farra insists that Quatal's seven hekat of gram. How of the book Tecnnosfress, description of the ancient much grain is saved by says that computer-obsessed aliens as tall white men who cats?" and —Ahmose the Scribe kids and adults often suffer wore ! lowing robes 33 — " .

enon and making hoax films then you can bet [his is In Twenty Thousand another one." Leagues under the Sea, Beckjord checks tor clues Captain Nemo played haunt- to authenticity by enlarging ing music on an organ as small pictures and comparing his submarine cruised near them with other pholos or the ocean floor. Bur what films of the same phenome- would an organ sound like il non For example, he re- the ocean itself could play it? cently enlarged a 1977 film ot Thanks ro an invention Nessie, which he says clearly by a local artist, Ihe answer shows a head and neck can be found in San Francis- sticking out of the Loch Ness. co's Wave Organ. The device "It shows very full chipmunk' does not look like much cheeks, a big mouth, and just a collection of 25 pipes a flat, broad triangular area and tubes that jut out of going to the top of Ihe head,"

San Francisco Bay. But what he notes "I compared this

It lacks in beauty it makes with other photos taken up for in whimsy and fun. the same year by another "I'd been working with nat- person and found the same ural phenomena for years," details— the same reptilian, says arfist Peter Richards of dinosaurlike head " The his creation. "But it wasn't people who shot the film, and until 1979. when I heard of the pipe, pitch vanes Ihe man who took the photo- some beautiful noises made according to wave action graphs do not know one by a floating dock in Aus- and tide level. 'The best time Most scientists say [here's another, says Beckiord, so he tralia, that I knew what I to listen is'ort a calm day," no conclusive evidence rules out a hoax wanted to do" Finally in 1985 says Richaids. "In a slorm. that the Abominable Snow- Not everyone who has another local landmark, there's teo much turbulence. man, Loch Ness Monster, and seen Beckprd's photos thinks The Exploratorium. raised You can'l hear anything dinosaurlike Mokele M bembe they are authentic, however. most of the £120,000 needed with the waves crashing and really exist But according to "He submitted a photo to our to build the musical ocean Ihe wind howling," Jon Erik Beckjord, who publication that he took in instrument, which was com- When former San Fran- heads the Cryptozooiogy the Pacific Northwest. He said pleted in 1986, cisco Chronicle music critic Museum In Malibu. California, it showed a family of Big- Much or the money was for Heuwell Tircui! reviewed these creatures and others foots," notes Ken Frazier, edi- stonemason George Gonza- the organ's tunes, fie said have been filmed, photo- tor of The Skeptical Inquirer lez, who gathered head- they resembled "gasps graphed, and tape-recorded "It ., was clear that he was stones, cemetery monu- or death rattles" In fact, fhere is so much imagining what he wanted to ments, and curbstones on Richards does not agree: documentation on these see; shadows and light which visitors could sir and "It's a serious work," he ex- strange beasts, he claims, spots in tuzzy black-and- watch the water play a mel- plains. "But trying to listen to that a cryptozooiogy museum white photos are not proof of ancholy gurgling tune. the Wave Organ is like going photo library is being cre- aBigfool monster at all." How does the Wave Organ into a very dim room. At ated to provide the press with —Sherry Baker ? work According to Rich- first you can't discern much, photos and films for a fee. ards, the movement of water but as you get used ro it, How does Beck|or.d know "They are getting bolder in of and out the pipes makes your ears pick up more and whether a picture he's offer- They 're testing us gel a better the air columns inside them more."—Gary Hanauer ing to a publication is legiti- look at them than ever before, resonate. "It's like an echo mate or fake? "We look at and t think it's because chamber." he says. "Such a tunny, sporty, savvy, whom we are dealing with. they want us to know they The air columns resonate testy, hbky-poky tad is Ihe he answers. "If someone exist" at different frequencies, ocean, oh!" has a history of taking pic- Donald Keyhoe, author ot depending upon the length —Herman Melville lures of this kind of phenom- Ahenslrom Space 94 OMNI — —

Utopian society we would get rid of our in the world. It's just a necessary evil, and present models and work PARADISE together—male you don't have to have all of it. In my Utopia and female, CONTINUED FHOMPJ gay and straight—and share we would pay more attention to the spiri- responsibility for children. tual side of our lives. Personally, I believe

well-being, it 'and without private philan- If homophobia did not exist, gay people in Christianity, People believe differently, but

thropy cannot exist. I believe we must come would close down every orphanage in this what's important is the way you think, as close as possible to encourage the country, take the unwanted children. That Christianity keeps me on a more level keel, private sector and to lessen the role of scares people so much. For some bizarre Families would be closer than they are government. To reduce taxes is fully con- reason people think it's much better to keep today. So many things are tearing the fam- sistent with such a program. physically and mentally handicapped chil- ily apart today. I'd like to see parents want In my ideal society certain values would dren in cages than allow them the love of to love their kids and spend time with them be held deeply: the interdependence of a gay couple or a gay single person. and raise them right. In my ideal plan, mom mankind as John said, — Donne "No man My Utopia would be natural. I would pro- and dad are the ones who would be there is island, entire an unto itself." The worth ot tect the environment. I don't believe in God; when the children needed them.

the individual and the worth of the I believe in nature com- —dust to dust. Religion I wish everyone could be aware of how munity are one and the same. One is not in my Utopia would be natural—the whiter important a person's childhood is; we re- viable without the other. witch religions. I would rather be a piece member events, and they have an influ-

I would certainly hope to see an ever- of nature than a piece of man because na- ence on us. And some of the fondest mem- growing number of highly successful pub- ture gives you a hell of a lot more. I live on ories we have are of the pets we had, of lic-private partnerships, which character- top of this mountain, in a hermitlike way, nature and the outdoors. I'd like to see ize nonprofit institutions many in our soci- and I like it. every child have a little pet of some kind.

ety. 1 also would want to I never see a new thought I'd live in the country. I A dog and a horse are two great animals emphasis placed on management and can't say, that though, everyone in my Uto- and maybe even a raccoon. As I envision

controls in these institutions. And I would pia would have a country home—that's too Utopia, the child would ride the horse, and want to see a development of joint ven- bourgeois for words. Someday soon, be- the little dog would follow behind. tures among many institutions with similar cause of telecommunications, nobody will rales that for years have engaged in friendly have to go to an office, which is great by Grace Slick, singer, or not-so-friendly competition. me. Oh, please, if I never had to to go LA. songwriter: When I It is very important, perhaps above all, again, I'd be the happiest person in the saw your interview re- that even in an ideal world giving remain a world the land of the living — dead! The quest I said, "Oh, spontaneous, vibrant, and dynamic ac- world would be a better place without great! They want to tion. Giving, it real when has meaning and LA.—even people in LA. know that. No know about Utopia. I"' is truly fun, is largely a question of spirit, LA. in my Utopia. No, I am happy living in Esolve that." In the Sixties, with whatever and as the Taoist adage goes, that which the woods, just me and my two dogs, my drugs were available, we'd talk forever— can be learned is not worth teaching. deer, thousands of rabbits, quail, squirrels, .and solve everything. When you're twenty

chipmunks, slugs. I have thousands of you think you know what ought to be going

I Harvey Fierstein, ac- rabbits. I love bunny rabbits. You know, on. Today if I create Utopia it must be prac- tor, playwright: All rabbit is unkosher. The old religious books tical, something that actually might be J right, I'll tell you. If you say if you ate rabbit, you started dressing accomplished, an idea with lasting effect. want my real Utopian like woman with | a and sleeping men! So, let's begin with a world government. world, it's to have an There's a reason for everything, The United States and the Soviet Union 3 apartment that is cooperate and spend money on joint proj- completely tiled, with a big drain in the "To arrest a downward movement is the ut- ects instead of spending money going for center of the room. All your artwork is en- most to which a Utopia can aspire, since each other's throats. cased in glass, and your furniture is cov- Utopias seldom begin to be written in any In my Utopia we will organize ourselves ered in plastic. Just take out a hose, and society until after its members have lost with computers that will map out the ge-

it hose down every now and then. I guess the expectation and ambition of making ography of Utopia: How much food must that's the Jewish mother's perfect world further progress. ..." be produced in one area to feed the peo- hose everything down. —Arnold J. Toynbee, A Study of History ple of that area? The data will be compiled.

Actually, even a short time ago, if I had monitored, continually updated. Then we thought about Utopia, I would have asked Roy Rogers, actor: can focus on action—on efficient distri- for everything. Now in my Utopia I would The only Utopia I've bution of food, money, clothes, medical aid, like just a- few real, everyday problems ever seen is Shangri- whatever. I'd use our genius, technology, solved. It's just, you know, people are la, when I saw that in a pic- and natural resources from all over the dying of AIDS on an hourly basis, you feel ture once. But I'd set world. God, luck, nature, genetics, or who- you shouldn't ask for heaven but just for a I my personal Utopia in ever gave us brains —why not use them? little piece of heaven — especially when the place where I live, up here in the high As a child in' my Utopia you would learn racism, sexism, and homophobia are desert, in Appie Valley, California— about your own language and a global language. coming back in such nice I'd a big fashion. ninety-eight miles I from Los Angeles. love But I am very attached to the idea of di- like to things slipping see stop backward Apple Valley. We've got everything. The sun versity. People's individuality will not be start and moving forward again. shines most of the time; it's windy and cool taken away. In the Sixties everybody When it comes to my Utopia I'd like to at night. We have wonderful people and dressed and acted out their fantasies— pi- see a normal world. There's always pain, wonderful weather and clear air, and I just rates, sea nymphs, outlaws. Today the sit-

that's all right. not i and But I this tragedy, love it here. But don't want anything that's uation is so snotty, It's not just that the yup- wouldn't have lost all the people I've lost in completely perfect or indestructible. Even pies don't like the rock-and-roll people. The the last couple of years in a Utopian world. in a Utopian world people will have good heavy-metal people look down on the New I'm on my third address book in about a times and bad times. Every person will have Wave- people from England, and every-

year I couldn't because stand seeing all to strive to live a decent life and help as body is very arrogant and snobbish about the crossed- out names. many people as. he or she can. If nothing it rather than saying, "Ha, go for it." If you cut the gay people out of the so-' bad ever happens to you, it's tough to ap- True spirituality, rather than religion, ciety, as would like, fall some society would preciate what you have. would be the way to go in my Utopia. Dis- apart. are the worker We ants. In a "more In Utopia you don't need all the money solve all denominations, and teach and 96 OMNI —a

practice a more general spirituality. Live out real. I want the miraculousnessof the mind clare many occasions international holi- the simple creed at the core of most reli- to be revered. days—many occasions, don't even ask

gions: "Do unto others as you would have I will place great emphasis — a high cul- how many. I would ensure that love and them do unto you." tural value—on the "hacker ethic" in my anarchy (a title of one of my films) played In addition, in my Utopia each person Utopia: openness, accessibility, the shar- large roles in my Utopia. Love is funda- would have a task, a single task. We are ing of information and resources, and the mental, essential— a motor of our being. In bombarded with so much information to- search for the unexpected way of doing my Utopia the single most startling differ- day that most people say "The hell with it." things. One of our modern myths is thai ence in the relationships' between men and Instead of people being frustrated hackers are threat to vital by so a and valuable women would be love. As for anarchy, I un- things that many have to be done, they will information. When we feel we've got to derstand it in the sense of a profound re- select one area that is close to their hearts protect every little thing — our bodies, our spect for the development of every per- or their abilities and go for that. money, our jobs, our prestige—we be- sonality in the human community. Pandas just knock out, rip me just me come frightened and often give up so much I would direct and distribute so many

apart. I wrote to the Wildlife World Fund good for such tiny, tiny gains. films in my Utopia. I can think of at least

and offered to lick stamps, address enve- I'd give anything to have a chance to talk thirty films I'd want to direct. Utopian scene: lopes, do commercials. Well, I haven't with Isaac Newton. And with Bob Dylan, On a summer evening, a voice—perhaps heard anything. Maybe some zoologist will too, as long as I'm wishing. Not necessarily a woman's voice or even a whistle—comes read this and say, "Yeah, we can use her together, though they might get along fine. from behind a corner, which hides a per- to floor at mop the the panda house." In my Utopia people would more or less fumed garden. It is in just such an image

There would, of course, lols of give It be music up on politics. won't be so important that I find the harmonious spirit of my Uto- in my Utopia. It would be a personal to take positions, make judgments, find pia. And I'd like people to live in a place choice— rhythm and blues, classical, fault. We will be concerned about tasks. where superior values are nurtured; where

atonal electric synthesizers. I know what Problems will be defined and solutions creativity, art, and science flourish. appeals to me: Spanish music classical — planned. The process will be more objec- In Utopia I would like to live in the Italy of acoustical guitar, flamenco always just tive, almost methodical, — a computerized the Thirties, when I was born. In spite of knocks me right out. It just kills me, like the process. We'll have guidelines, constitu- the destruction caused by Fascism, Italy pandas. Music, thank God, moves us to- tions, laws, less bias, and no weight at- was still the beautiful Italy of the "Grand ward Utopia. tached to parties. Tour." The goal would be to salvage the

I would definitely want humor to play a image of all that was splendorous and to "7b the classical Utopists freedom was rel- larger part in the general scheme of eradicate the damage of the past. atively trivial. Clearly they vir- things considered just lot fun. I — a more humor, smiles am by nature a practical joker, and I tue and happiness as entirely separable with everyday life. I think psychohistorians would like for my Utopia to have something from liberty and as being altogether more sjiould take charge of the future, write the of a spirit of fun, laughter, lightheaded- important things." programs, help people decide what as- ness, and the unexpected—to enjoy every —H, G. Wells, A Modern Utopia pects of their psychology to emphasize moment of marvel. Humor is one of those things that exposes

Steve Wozniak, chair- unconscious defenses within us. It's the Thomas Szasz, pro- man of the board of cornerstone of understanding ourselves. fessor of psychiatry at CL 9; inventor, Apple the Stale University of

". if Computer: The first . . we could have devised an arrange- New York Health Sci- thing I'd in Uto- for providing do my ment everybody with music ence Center: I envi- I pia is change the in their homes, perfect in quality, unlimited sion Utopia as a soci- myths about how the world works, Today in quantity, suited to every mood ... we ety in which people struggle ceaselessly we always look for cause and effect. We should have considered the limit of human to achieve and preserve autonomy, self- ." to believe that if want we do this, that will felicity already attained. . respect, and respect for others. Social or- happen; The most deceptive word in the —Edward Bellamy, from Looking Back- der would be maintained by maximizing English language is significant. As con- ward, Two Thousand to Eighteen Eighty- individual self-control and minimizing ex-

trolled experiments use the word, it simply Seven, an 1888 Utopian novel ternal coercion. My personal Utopia, how- means "we. detect it." It might be a tiny ef- ever, is not a place of perfection, because fect, so tiny that it scarcely exists. But the Lina Wertmuller, film human beings are by nature imperfect.

experts are sure, they're confident, that tiny director: It is very dif- There is no public education, and no one findings will a major impact. have ficult to imagine a is "mentally" ill in my Utopia. For a long How our bodies work, our minds how Utopian society— time I have maintained that there is no such

work—that sort of knowledge comes from society that truly sus- thing as mental illness. It's a metaphor. intuition and observation, analysis and ex- tains a fair and liber- People use the term to refer to behavior perience, exploration and imagination. In ating way of life for the entire human com- they dislike or disapprove of. my Utopia children will be taught to apply munity; a place where values like justice. In I my Utopia am free to choose what I critical judgment to what they see and are peace, purity, the love of nature are believe, read, ingest, inhale, and inject into told, and they'll be taught to value their own prized—where each human being is con- my body. Involuntary psychiatric admis- imaginations, creativity, and intelligence. sidered worthy. But there cannot be a Uto- sions and idleness in penal servitude would Intellectual intensity and creativity will be pian society without limiting the number of be abolished. Criminal sanctions would valued and kept alive in my Utopia by en- people on this planet. It overpopulation is consist of restitutive fines and labor. If a couraging people to find out what's inside dealt with, then man, in his liberty, regal- person were incarcerated, he or she would the closed door, to ask questions: "How ity— in his pure and clean animal spirit work for the community. can I get from here to there by a route that can live in harmony with others and in har- I see human life, even in my Utopia, as doesn't 9 seem possible Can I make con- mony with the environment. Social justice competitive, beset by human conflict, sub- nections that aren't obvious?" In Utopia you becomes a possibility In smaller commu- ject to' disappointment, disease, and dis- will be allowed to pursue the ideas that in- nities. Without the crush of humanity and ability. Not everyone would be, or could be, trigue you, to try and make them work. No industry, individuality emerges: the innate a winner; but the losers might, , depending one will scorn this kind of work or play, sweetness in man's character comes out. on their behavior, still have a decent life. In my Utopia adults will learn that chil- The form of government for my Utopia Nor would everyone be physically dren's dreams and fantasies may become would be a Greek democracy. I would de- healthy; but the sick would receive treat- 98 OMNI ment and be free like everyone else to medicate themselves as they see fit. Everyone would have- the right to decide when and how he wants to die: that is, whether he wants to die as a result of dis- WHOLE-BRAIN ease, unsuccessful treatment of disease, bodily deterioraic~i due to aging, or his own ^rmm ^J^C^C the John ~ decision—now called "suicide" but in my U JF^^ David Learning Institute's Utopia renamed "death control" or "self- mi ^^ latest discoveries in neuroscience. determined death." • Increased memory and concentration skills • Multiplied reading and retention rates Hans Kiing, Roman Catholic theologian: Elevated self-esteem from eliminating self-sabotage For me the road to Utopia lies in waiting for Major breakthroughs are taking place in the field of neuroscience. God or waiting for Godot, and I have great is Ph.D., founder of Whole-Brain hope that religion will again show another Leading the way John-David, 7 Learning ". nature. The diagnosis that God is dead, made by the great minds of the modern John-David's discovery of sound patterns (certain tones and sounds age — Feuerbach, Marx, Nietzsche, played at different frequencies! sent to pre-designated areas of the

Freud — did not come to fruition. But if our brairrmind, may help you achieve quantum leaps in accelerated learning. present "logic" continues, it is the death of You can experience these discoveries in John-David's the human race that will take place, not the state-of-the-art audio/video tape courses, seminars and death of God. It is much more our ratiocen- Brain/Mind Salons.® tric unbelief rather than the belief in God that is in crisis. For information and free catalog call

If you view the present so-called alter- Nat'l 1-800-437-5646 native movements as a whole, not just as separate trends, you can see the comple- Ca 1-800-624-9779 mentary dimensions of a Utopia that could be a real Utopia, notjustanillusionaryone.

in I am not interested a fantasy Utopia but John-David only in a real one. Learning Institute In my Utopian vision, we must create an 2443 Impala Drive ethically responsible science—in nuclear physics, genetics, and other fields; we must move from the threat of technocracy, which dominates all areas of life and is destroy- ing much of our environment, to an indus- trialism that preserves the environment and marriage of priests; the equality of women that our grandmothers and grandfathers human nature; we must move from a for- in the Church, from the appointment of al- and greal-great-grandmothers and great- malistic, liberal democracy to a true social tar girls to the ordination of women. After great-grandfathers had—back to the Ten democracy in which individual freedoms all the religious hot and cold wars, aggres- Commandments. In my Utopia no one and social justice are reconciled. sion and hatred, we will achieve commu- would ever tell a lie, and people would not other. truly The educational system should play a nion among all the world religions. I myself be jealous of each People would part in helping students find a balance be- work day and night for this consummation love one another. I would go back to the tween ignorant rationalism and hyper- because there will be no Utopia, no peace days when a handshake was as good as emotional irralionalism, between supersti- among the nations, until there is peace a signed contract; when importance was tious faith in science and fearful demoni- among the religions; placed on family life; and when commit- zation of science. There has to be a way ment meant something—when you got between technological euphoria and blan- "I am also fond of saying that a war of light- married, you stayed married. I would do ket hostility toward technology, between ing is like a dance because it is all going away with divorce so that every child would

I the mere formalists democracy and totalitar- forward and back. . . . That is the reason have two parents. would go back to ian popular democracy. that revolutions and Utopias are consid- days when a Iriend was a friend, when a We need a transformation of old values ered too difficult; they are up and down friend believed the best of you at all times. and norms—based exclusively on mate- and not forward and back." I would go back to the days when there rialistic needs for security, career success, —Gertude Stem were just plain, old-fashioned good man- and consumption —to the development of Everybody's Autobiography ners. I like good manners, and I'm not talk- "postmaterialistic" desires; a deeper inter- ing table manners. I'm talking deep-down kind est in expanded personal experience and Tammy Faye Bakker, televangelist: I have good manners where people are to realization of the self rather than just the been to many places, but if my Utopia each other.

it half typical extroverted interests in popular en- could look any way I wanted to look. I'd I would cut television in and news

I well tertainment and sports; a heightened sen- like it to look like Disneyland. love Disney- broadcasts—good news as as bad sibility and desire for vulnerable personal land, and if I could, I'd have the whole world news—down to a quarter of what we watch fog- relations; an increased social perceptive- look like Disneyland. The first time I walked today. We look at too much TV— it's

I dulling brains. ness and concern; a sharpened desire to into Disneyland I was so overwhelmed ging our minds and our

I less protect and care for our natural and histor- started to cry. [ mean, I just couldn't be- In my ideal world would be quick

ical environments. lieve thai there was any place as wonder- to judge. I have changed in this last year,

In my Utopia my church, the Catholic ful as Disneyland; wonderful houses, ar- and I don't want to judge people on what I

Church, will be renewed. We are at an im- chitecture, and bright colors. It's such a hear about them. I want to give everyone passe today.-Eventually someone—a Pope happy, sunshiny place. the benefit of the doubt.

John XXIV— overnight will deal wisely'with I've always been a dreamer, so it's fun In my Utopia, I would love to see Jesus

issues such as birth control; theadmission to dream about an ideal world. I would take face-to-face. And someday I'm going to; of divorced people to the sacraments; the us backward to the oid-tashioned values I'm going to. But I would like to be able to .

Streisand is one ot the- greatest, I believe,

one of the greatest singers cf all lime. And

I really loved the girl who died of anorexia [Karen Carpenter]. She was one of my very WHOLE-BRAIN favorite singers. But Nat King Cole was my tavorite of fa-

vorites, myfavo'item 'he world, and I would have given anything to have sung with Nat SEMINARS King Cole. And Mahalia Jackson would have been a real tun lady to have sung Are you willing to achiev ; major breakthroughs in your ability to learr with. I sang with Johnny Cash the other day, expand your memory and and that was one of the most fun things I've

Major breakthroughs are taking place in the field of neuroscience. ever done in my singing career. He called

Leading the way is John-David founder of Whole-Brain Learning."" me up out of the studio audience, and I got right up there. The musicians pitched the John-David's discovery of sound patterns (certain tones and sounds key two notes lower than I've ever sung in played at different frequencies) sent to pre-designated areas of the life, my but I sang it anyway. I was ready to brain/mind may help you achieve quantum leaps in accelerated learning. go. He's a nice, nice man. And Ray Charles!

You can experience these discoveries in a 5-Day Total Ray Charles, Ray Charles. I love Ray

Immersion Intensive™ Seminar (24-hours-a-day, even Charles. I would gvc anything lo sing with while sleeping) and state-of-the-art audio/video Ray Charles. Isn't he the blind man? Isn't

cassettes and Brain/Mind Salons.® that Ray Charles? Yes, I would love to sing with Ray Charles. He is so great. • New York Boston • Denver

As I Ihink about dreams for myself, I'm

thinking I never wanted a yacht, never

wanted to go to Europe. I literally am in love

For information and free cataiog ca!i with the United States of America, and I

would like make it more ideal, more Nat'l 1-800-437-5646 to a Ca 1-800-624-9779 wonderlul place to live. I'd also like to in- clude in my ideal world the gentleness of

Hawaii and the sunshine of California. I like John-David Learning Institute the gentle Hawaiian people and the gentle

2443 Impala Drive, Bldg. B Hawaiian music. I love the ocean; I love to

V\ Carlsbad, California 92008 stand by it and listen to it. When I was in Hawaii, life seemed more gentle, and that V (619} 931-0456 was very nice.

I I can't live w:;hout laugh'er. love to laugh.

see Jesus right now because I have lois of the summer. It can be one hundred and And I'd die it I didn't have laughter in my

lit questions I would like to ask God, to ask five degrees outside and my fireplace is life. In my ideal world people would laugh

I Jesus; Why are people so mean to each and my candles are burning. I am totally a a lot tend to take myself much too seri- other? Why is there all this hurt in the world? romantic. So my romantic view of a man ously sometimes, and when I do, I say, Why are there poor people? Why are there and woman is that they would be able to "Lighten up. Tammy! Lighten up!" Nothing rich people? Why is there so much jeal- live in an atmosphere of romance, in just a is really that traumatic — short of Ihe death ousy? Why can't we just all be happy to- world of romance. of a loved one. gether? Why did He make me only lour feet One of the nicest things my husband I think the motto lor my Utopia would be eleven inches tall? If He could have made does for me is when I get tired, he'll tuck Romans 8:28, my favorite Scripture verse; me five foot six or something, life would me in bed and say, "Now. you slay there. "And we know that all things work together have been so much easier! Tammy, and you rest." He'll close the blinds for good to them that love God, to them

I know just what my own life would be and fix the room the way I like it. Or he'll go who are called according to his purpose." like in this perfect world. My life, if it were pour me a bath and say. "Here, take a nice There's no doubt that Heaven is the ulti- the perfeci life I'd choose, migh! surprise bath. Tammy," and then he'll kiss me and mate Utopia: gates of pearls, streets ot you. I have always wanted to be a doctor tuck me in bed. These things make mar- gold, and mansions. The light will be as or a nurse. Always. All of my life. In my ideal riages so much easier for women. The Bi- precious and clear as crystal, and the city world I would spend my life serving peo- ble says, "Give and if shall be given to you." will be' pure gold. The walls will be gar- ple. I want to help make people more That works in relationships, too. nished with precious stones; emeralds, beautiful, to train women to reach their best The greatest personal dream I'd have for sapphires, topaz, amethyst. The glory of potential. I would like to show ladies who my Utopia, the'mos": outlandish thing, is that God will be Ihe light tor Ihe place, and the

don'f I I know now to put makeup on how to wish, wish that I never had to ever worry gates will not be shut at any time. There put it on to make them look their prettiest about money again. We do. If you never will be no night— that's my idea of a really and make them feel better. I would really had to worry about money, you could do perfect place. like to help ladies look their best. I would Ihe types of things you really wanted to do.

like I if to show them how to be really smart always thought I didn't ever have to worry "Golden was that flrsl age, which, with no

it shoppers, because I'm a bargain hunter, about money, you know, I would just give one to compel, without a law, ofits own will,

I and would love to show fhem all my spe- away. Boy, would I give it away! I could kept faith and did Ihe right. There was no cial bargain places and share all of those give people money and gifts. lear of punishment, no threatening words

I kinds of things with them. would just like Just for myself, it would be a lot of fun to were .to be, read on brazen tablets. . . to share with people how lo make their lives have the chance to sing with certain peo- There was no need at all of armed men. . .

better. I Women would feel totally different ple. really enjoy country music; it's real The Earth herself . . . gave alt things need-

if about themselves the world were the way fun music. And l really like black music a ful. Streams of milk and streams of sweet

it. I'd imagine lot. I really enjoy the b:ack cu-lure, you know. nectar flowed, and yellow honey was dis- " You know, I'm a totally romantic person. I'd love to sing with Dolly Parton and Barb tilled from the verdant oak.

I mean, I light a fireplace in the middle of Streisand. Dolly's such a fun lady, and Barb —Ovid. The fv'el^morph.oses, Book I 100 OMNI —

Jose Miguez-Bonino, vice p'csidcnl of the World Council of Churches; Places and mo.menis of history become Utopian models only when [hey are re-created by ihe imagination: the stories of independ- BRAIN-MIND ence and of the "founding fathers" in al- Take advantage of the John- most all countries or David's kingdom in David Learning Institute's later biblical literature, for example. But the latest discoveries in neuroscier re-crealions themselves would not be pos- SALONS incentration, creativity, sible if the histcrica- "crnerts on which they Persons :ed "progrs were based were— not perceived as—and peak per mory skill actually were "Utopian moments" em- PROGRAMS INCLUDE bodying a iundamental human quest lor Mind/Body Chair: Dynamically plac s sound back into the body, freedom, peace, national identity, justice. slowly relaxing your brain/mind into alphaa phase. The memory of these strong, Utopian mo- Brain Sync Machines: Energize ain. Relaxing, synchronized j ments becomes a symbol, projected to the intensities of light and sound whic v movement from beta to future as a way to unify and mobilize peo- theta, your ideal learning state. ple around a common goal. Dome Room: A John-David exclusive - total sound immersion. A I can remember, for instance, marches revolving platform in a geodesic dome of 32 speakers which send for human rights in my country. Argentina, custom-mixed sound to predesignated areas of mind/body. during the military dictatorship from 1980 Residential programs available. * San Diego • Denver/Boulder • Paris, France to 1983, and moments of community prayer and singing. In these moments we are ad- Call for rates and appointments - Nat'l - 1 -800-437-5646 mitted into the presence of Utopia, and the 1 -800-624-9779 Experience these Ca memory of such "visits" nourishes hope and breakthroughs in: gives strength to the quest. Brain/Mind Salons® Utopian words always catch the mean- ing of these events and inspire Utopian Cassettes • Seminars ideals: justice, liberation, redemption. For Certification me the most meaningful Utopian force is Free Catalog shalom, or peace. It becomes a true Uto- John-David pian model because it brings together in concrete images the wholeness of human Learning Institute 2443lmpalaDr.,Bldg.i life: material, cultural, and spiritual; per- sonal, communal, and social; memory, ac- Carlsbad, CA 92008 tion, and hope. (619) 931-0456 In Latin America the classic images ol Jesus are the "conquered" Christ—suffer- The two most beautiful places in the spect. But perhaps there isn't any com- loneliness of ing and passive—and the "celestial mon- world are Texas and Alaska. I want the sky plete solution to the old age arch"— the Almighty, assimilated to ihe of Texas in my Utopia. There is more sky in not even in Utopia. conquistador. The conquered and the ce- Texas than there is in other places. And Time travel seems like the most wonder- lestial monarch are both faces of oppres- Alaska is just physically stunning— noth- ful notion in the whole world — it would def-

sion: the resignation of the conquered and ing wishy-washy about Alaska or Texas. initely be a part of my Utopia. Of course I the confidence of unchallengeable power. In 1969 I went to live in a commune in would love to have more than one lifetime.

Nobody expects anything from these Alaska. We were trying out our Utopia. And if I could pick other lives, I would wanl Christs; The conquered Christ is power- Certain people did the work, carrying the a lifetime as Jim Henson or Garry Trudeau less; the celestial Christ is approachable wafer from the well: and certain people sat or Stephen Sondheim or Barbara Jordan only through intermediaries. But in recent on the couch saying, "Far-out!" I might still or Robin Williams. I admire their inventive- images, songs, and new creedal expres- be there had I not been one of the ones ness, the agility ol their minds; they have a sions, Jesus is seen in the poor, op- carrying the water. In Utopia you want bigness of spir !: (hoy write with a great deal pressed, and marginalized of Latin Amer- everybody carrying the water; then every- ol skill and emotion. But I would not want ica, not simply as the passive sufferer but body can sit on the sofa and say. "Far-out!" to come back as Ronald Reagan. George as the active subject of transformation. Je- We are by nature a tribal people. Utopia Steinbrenner, Billy Martin, or Ollie North. sus is the God who suffers with the poor would work best if we organized into small In my Utopia I'm not sure we would have and the God who struggles to change the tribes— but not warring tribes. And women television news at all probably not even condition of poverty, inviting us to follow would run the tribes. That would be a nice any television reporters. We would have him in this task. The triumph of the new switch. It would be interesting to see if we radio — a lot of National Public Radio And

humanity, the coming of the universal have learned anything about power other I would delay the newspapers a day.

it shalom becomes the Utopia that inspires than to imitate how has been used and I very much want the quest for justice

historical undertakings. misused in the past. I might not like the and the passion that were a part of the Six-

answer to that one, but I'd like to give if a ties to characterize my Utopia. I miss the

Linda Ellerbee, broadcast |ournalist; All .try and take my chances. wonderful passion. I don't see if right now,

I right, I'm king, can do anything, right? First, Certainly in my Utopia there would be but I am hopeful that in the Nineties we will

I would banish all private schools in my equality between the sexes and a good begin to see people remember that they Utopia. We would then improve the public child-care policy. All children would have are not alone in this world and turn around schools, no question about it. Also, in my little, trucks to play with, and all children and care about each other. It's true that the Utopia teachers would have the status of would have dolls to play with. And old peo- Sixties were lots ot colored lights, a circus merchant-princes in terms of earned sal- ple would depend on young people to take atmosphere. But the Sixties truly were aries and respect. In my Utopia there care of them' when they're old. With my tribal about social change— the civil-rights probably would be no football— football system we would have large, extended movement is the lasting movement of that ought to be as separate from education as families, and the dcio-ly would assume their decade, not the flower children. church is from state. place in them, positions of dignity and re- I believe in truth, justice, rock and roll. © ART CUMINGS

More t^yarrefs are caused by pride- "bhan any other reason

J- . —

and the American way. I'm just a patriot. Of

course I can't even imagine a Utopia with- out rock and roll. In my Utopia there always will be a place of honor for Bruce Springs- teen; Crosby, Stills, and Nash: James Tay- lor; Bob Dylan; Mick Jagger; and Chuck

Berry. How could you even call it Utopia if there were no Chuck Berry? But you would not find Madonna.

"Govern the people by regulations . . . and

they will flee from you. . . Govern them by

moral force . . . and they will keep their self- respect and come to you ot their own ac- cord."—Confucius. Analecls, 11.3

Michael Harrington, social activist, co- chairman of the Democratic Socialists of America: My ideas ot Utopia come from the most misunderstood single thinker in the history of human thought, Karl Marx. Most people—even Marxists—have mis- taken views of Marx. In a brief document written in the 1870's Marx asked, "Is the ideal of communism complete equality? In no way," he answered. Egalitarianism, basically a bourgeois notion, assumes everybody will be treated as if they were equal. Marx said —and I totally agree with him—that to treat everybody equally sup- presses the differences in human beings. The ideal, the radical notion, is to break the link between income and work that ex- ists in capitalist societies—to break the idea that what you receive is proportional to what you provide or give. In Utopia, what you receive is what you need, and what you give is what you can give. The basic necessities of life— food, shelter, clothing, education, medical care

if are met in my Utopia. I don't care they are lazy, promiscuous, irreverent, rotten people. No one should have to go hungry or cold—scoundrel or not. And in my Uto- pia I wouldn't change a single facet of hu- man nature as we now know it. The most important Utopian task: rede- fining work. We should move, right now, to the thirty-two-hour workweek, and then hopefully people will have the brains to go for the twenty-four-hour workweek. We are moving toward the point at which, for the first time in human history, people will spend more time engaged in free time than in work. In my Utopia everyone would have the right to sabbaticals.

I also would include the Bill of Rights, one of the most precious acquisitions of the human spirit. And I would democratize

CREDITS THE WHOLE UNIVERSE CATALOG Cover, Wiche Schuster page Snb^geTbottom page 6, Viicr Sih.CarnD.page

(.-' ,i , v, .,,!. nage 15,

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:-- communications so thai the right to gain Oprah Winfrey, talk-show host, ac'ress: only in our actions but in our thoughts and access to television not restricted I was to believe thai a!, people create their own intentions as well. those with hundreds of millions of dollars. reality- to, including, —up and, who knows, Let me give you an example: My suit-

I would forbid any candidate to^buy tele- perhaps even beyond Utopia. If you can case carrying my jewelry and clolhes was

vision time. It free I would be a service. think a b '; ik-ii <.: i, and you lost on a Might last year. And let me tell you, the private funding PACs [political action can that idea. achieve The boundaries and il was some jewelry I'd packed in that Louis committees] and the millionaire limitations Senate are that prevent us from living our Vuitton it bag! When didn't arrive I blamed abominations. Utopia are those we have created in our the airline and everyone around me. After

own mind and have, made part of our I a cooled down I realized I'd had ii coming.

"in communis! society . . . society regu- own reality. For two days I had been an absolute bitch lates the general production I and thus feel as though 1 am living in Utopia right and had made everyone around me mis- it makes possible for me to do one thing now. It is not ol a matter having achieved erable. It was a revelation to me, and while today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the certain goals or calling to mind particular I miss those gold earrings, I should have morning, fish in the afternoon, rear cattle I moments that could call Utopia. My entire seen it coming. in- the evening, criticize after dinner. ..." life is Utopian! In my Utopia I would keep the physical —Karl Marx In Utopia my life would be exactly the world exactly the same. I can't believe I'm

it same as is right now. I would be doing a saying this. Do you realize how cold it gets Jesse Jackson, Democralic presidential talk show because it makes a positive dif- in Chicago in the winter? Wind-chill read- candidate: My new world order recog- ference in people's lives. I also would con- ings of seventeen below zero. Would I nizes that most people in the world are nei- tinue my work as an actress because that change thai 7 Absolutely not. Nature is per- ther white, Christian, English speaking, nor is what I was born to do. I'm telling fect, in you its own lorm—even if a human being rich. I start with a simple premise: human there would be no difference because I freezes in ten seconds in February. Even rights for human beings— truly not superior believe you can have it all— and all in with hurricanes, tornadoes, snowstorms rights for some and inferior rights for others one lifetime. there is something uniquely godlike and but equal rights for all. Justice must be perfect operating beneath Ihe surface of measured by one yardstick. Simple justice nature. I wouldn't tamper with nature. I is a threat to the hardened arteries of the wouldn't think of ticking off God by sug- status quo, which clings to the past through gesting any 'such change. habit, ignorance, superstition, and eco- nomic exploitation. 4/ start "For some, the shortcut to Utopia is military Human rights for ali human beings is the with a simple premise: conquest . .for others it is armed revolu- rallying cry. Our goal must be to fight for tion and the human rights for dictatorship of a particular total human liberation. must We feed the class. There are others, on the contrary, who hungry, educate more people, provide de- human beings. Not superior believe that no desirable 'change of heart' cent and safe housing for all of our people. rights for some can be brought about without supernat- must We beat our swords into plowshares. ural aid. "—Aldous Huxley people Inferior rights We gain life when we give life. . and The Western world must do something for others, Jonas Salk, winner of the Nobel prize in it has not had to do in the last four hundred medicine for developing the polio vaccine: but equal rights for all'3 years: Think in new, creative ways; use in- In my Utopia humankind will become genuity; be patient; respect nonwhite peo- deeply and creatively engaged in the ple; and operate with moral authority, not process of evolution. First, we will under- merely with military power. stand the nature of our minds; and second, We can bring and economic educa- the evolutionary purpose they serve. This tional equity into the world if we maintain a The crucial element lacking in today's development will require a change in per- sense of passion for knowledge, science. society, the thing that works so powerfully ception, a transition from Ihe present par- religion, and human values. We have nat- in holding Utopias back from coming into adigms to a belief in conscious creative ural resources, a growing body of human being is failure or a — a refusal— by some evolution as the process by which the fu- knowledge,- and the technological know- members ol society to take responsibility ture of mankind w'll be determined. how to achieve goals beyond the wildest for their own actions. If people want to solve In the new reality I believe we must pre- dreams of any generation that ever lived. their problems they must sooner or later pare for, there will be more dynamic equi- The principle of service is the founda- reach inward to bring about a positive dif- librium in the world and more balance in tion, the starting point upon which every- ference in their lives. In my Utopia there will the minds and lives of individuals. The thing else is built. Service is structured into be change, yes, but more important, rec- number-ol people on the earth will be sta- the very nature of reality itself. There is real ognition that change must start within the bilized. There will be more political and so- power in service. Many people believe that individual person. cioeconomic equilibrium than exisls at the power is the result of taking, but that's not The educational system in my Utopia present time. The mind of an individual who true. The highest and purest form of power would center on Ihe principle oi taking re- has reached the stage of evolutionary is in giving. Power taken always will sponsibility for be one's own actions and a re- equilibrium would be in harmonious bal- laken again by someone else. Power that newed in interest reading and in develop- ance with the activities ascribed to each results from service cannot be lost and can ing the imagination. Children in my Utopia hemisphere of Ihe fully developed and only empower and enrich both the giver will be respected. iunclioning brain. We need to correct the and the receiver. OrTe governing principle in my Utopia accumulation of those errors that inhibit The spirit that we need for this task can would be the law of divine reciprocity: evolution: the unbalanced growth of pop- be found in the words of a song that black Whatever good" you pul out in the universe ulalion; excessive preparation for war; ex- children were singing in Crossroads, South wpuld come back, and whatever bad you cessive utilization of energy; excesses Africa. In the very pit of exploilation —no put out would come back as well. This law leading' to crime, violence, and terrorism; bathroom, no running water, no right to vote, would 'have to be in effect even in a Uto- and excesses that have led to economic no political protection, no judicial regard, pian society, since it is that law that holds imbalance. with nothing bul their hope and faith in us accountable for our own actions. And it There is a qualitative difference in all as-

God— I heard them sing, "Let us remain is that that. verysame law teaches us for pects of this Utopia. It is a new beginning. alive and alert as a nation." belter or worse lo seek out the good, not The characteristic of this new species is toe OMNI Amazing high tech discoveries made daily.

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not one of political or economic power. It States. Compassion is our hope for the fu- styles of the Rich and Famous, in which

is one that possesses evolutionary quali- ture. Simple acts of caring are the foun- certainly everyone should be able to go ties of insight, foresight, and creativity. In dation upon which a Utopia can be built. swimming in an ocean every day. And the the course of time the ignorant and the But large segments of our population are Bill of Rights to the U.S. Constitution—we greedy who have assumed positions of shut off from opportunity. Today in this rich have that, and that's Utopian, and that's power will be removed, and hopelully we and powerful nation twenty-five percent ol wonderful. Music is good right now, too;

will have the wit and the wisdom to fill these our children grow up in poverty. An esti- music is great right now. In my Utopia there positions with architects for the better fu- mated thirty-five million Americans have no would be plenty of music, all kinds. The ture. Utopia—human evolutionary poten- health insurance. The horror of homeless- insane would be treated better. And it's tial—will only be realized as man recog- ness now grips children as frequently as clear that the population has to be limited nizes that he is one with evolution. adults. Dropout rates in inner-ctfy high in some way; otherwise we simply will suf- schools are hitting fifty percent. focate under a glacier of meat. Living meat. Philip Glass, musician, composer: This With necessities such as food, housing, The Pope is a nitwit for imagining South may not sound like what you'd expect, but health care, and education provided, each America can continue to produce at its my Utopian place is modeled after the next citizen can develop his or her own creativ- present rale.

evolution of Ihe city: the big cities of the ity. Competition in business can be struc- Even though I'm an atheist, I wouldn't south, intensely dense cities like Sao Paulo tured so that building new homes doesn't mind helpful, comforting superstitions

I . or Mexico City— the megacities with pop- cause homelessness; new health-care being a part of my Utopia. would elimi- ulations of more than twenty-five million plans don't shut out the poor; production nate destructive, vicious superstitions. people. When enough people get to- of food doesn't impoverish the producers People would not find justification for rac- gether, something happens; the city is or contaminate the soil. When greed is ism or war in the Bible. Only benign super- suddenly a different place—a completely supplemented by caring, our society will stitions would have their place.

different animal —with a different center, a move toward its full potential, to a more In my Utopia I would certainly dero-

different vibrancy, a different soul. ideal society. manticize guns and killing. I don't have a

Cities like Sao Paulo become so in- gun, and I don't care. I'm not interested in

tensely dense with humanity that a new or- any of thai, and I don't chew tobacco as a ganic form seems to develop. And cer- substitute. The impulse is taught by TV, by

tainly the problems are enormous. Some the President of the United States. I wouldn't

Utopia, huh? No clean water, clean air, sell weapons. I wouldn't sell anything that 4/W is what clean sewage, just the same old junk—and is bad for somebody else. If the banning of leaves void, of at a more intense level yet. Is it Utopia? keeps us really sane: It's war and weapons a some Probably But a new social order is the energy can go into building people up, not. not only good evolving there. These cities are the twenty- feeding and housing them. Or into sleep-

first century. and Utopian, it is crucial. ing. Don't have to charge around all Ihe

it's time, you know. When 1 talk about my vision of Utopia Without art and

no! that different from the world I am al- music we would be much Donald Trump, real estate developer and ready living in. I see continuity between the problems in Beirut and the violence in the madder and president of the Trump Organization: When

streets of New York. In my mind, Utopia is I picture my Utopia, I envision a cily—which more unhappy than we are.^ understanding that continuity. I suppose is appropriate. But it would be a In my idyllic society, music is free of the different kind of city. It would be a big city,

influences that go against its natural ide- and I would be in charge. The people would

alism. When music is natural and sponta- be active, creative, hardworking, positive, self-reliant. healthy neous it has a spiritual content, but it's not They would possess a confined to any school or composer. With- Kurt Vonnegut, author: Iceland— not your self-respect and self-esteem and would out art-we probably would be much mad- typical paradise — is very close to my idea feel gratified by their accomplishments and der and much more unhappy than we are. of Utopia. No joke. It has a lousy climate their association with the city.

Art is what keeps us really sane: It's not and is pretty horrible physically: a big lump As head of this imaginary city, I would all levels, only good and Utopian, it is crucial. With- of lava with steam squirting out of the make sure that government, on out art and music we don't have a life of cracks. Practically nothing grows there- budgeted much more money for educa- any kind at all. trie biggest trees are about two feet tall. tion and Iranspoi ration than is budgeted in Self-awareness—that is what we've really But it's the right size—a nation on a human present-day cities. A city depends on its been talking about. To me Utopia is know- scale with a strong sense of family. The workforce. Mass iransporalion must be a ing where we are and what we're doing and same number of people live in Rochester, priority. In my city there will be no delays, who we are. That's the big difference be- New York, as live in Iceland. In my Utopian fear, breakdowns. A safe and clean mass- tween my Utopian society and today's so- scheme, people will rescue themselves and transit system would improve our quality of

ciety, and that's probably the only differ- make themselves stronger by forming ex- life — financially and, I believe, spiritually. ence. All we can change is what we know, tended families. Teachers would be paid more, schools that it's safe, classes how we perceive it. I want to Balkanize the world so would be kept clean and divided up into manageable little states. would be smaller, waste would be dramat- would "Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not dis- Whether we'd have regional governments, ically lessened, and discipline be

I parents franchised. No barrier of the senses shuts I don't know. Regional families are what enforced. For children, teachers, me out from the sweet, gracious discourse want because people stick together for — for everyone involved -- pride would of my book friends. many years and look out for each other. replace inerlia.

I that —Helen Keller, The Story of My Life Within Ihese family structures, I would have Beyond my city, would have to add

no rules except that everyone knows he I am concerned aboul Ihe prospect of a clearly Joseph Kennedy II, congressman (D- 'belongs to a family. nuclear holocaust. In my ideal world, Ihis considered a pos- Massachusetts): The seeds of a Utopian I Want- an extremely rich culture in my would not even be

sibility. of ideal, I would like to society—the-embodiment of our forefa- Utopia, I would encourage people to be- Short this thers' vision of America as a land of op- come artists as a way to enjoy life. It'sgreat negotiate arms-con; rol agreements with the

portunity, a land of compassion— already fun to make pictures and to sing songs and Soviet Union. Negotiation is an art, and I

lie within the social fabric of the "United to dance. I would h\e to havn a kind ot Life- have a gilt lor it.CO 108 OMNI FROM THE SPACEAGE... TO THE NEWAGE

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alure ofCaidtralder £S sfleT Shipping 8 ng $3.95 &VW*"*- l :^^ : ^%^^ For 24 Hour/Toll-Free Service Call Now! 1 -800-338-771 him— his agony didr I cany uphill and over there it had stayed for over forty years, im-

the tracks, where the houses were. No- prisoned in alien form, and hungering.

HORROR came. in It body The thing his pocket was was working on Weed's upper arm warm' and moist, with -teeth thai dug into when he finally, mercifully lost conscious- crude monolilhs, the only remnants of a h's flesh like s ivers of "reshly oroken glass. ness. Things went much faster then. Me-

vanished people. All very mysterious, Weed yanked frantically at his arm, trying thodically it ground up and digested him.

He lifted the homemade tag , and under- to pull free, but whatever was in there was First the arm, and then the shoulder itself—

neath it was the original label. On it was strong. Inhumanly strong. First il chewed maceraled and squeezed like toothpaste the size; 42. His size. up his fingers. That was the easy part. By through the armnoie His head flopped over

It was fate! He scooped it up. thetimeithadgot;on nail way up his hand. as the chest was eaten away underneath

The woman at the register had a face Weed could no longer scream. His vocal it. Then- it, too. was chewed in, chin first, like chipped flint. She sniffed, started to chords had locked in hysteric paroxysm. and then the rest. The eyes fluttered open ring up the coat, then stopped and glared He fell to the ground. Agonized, he just before they were sucked down the at isn't right." him.— "This grabbed a slone and smashed it against sleeve. But the light in them was dull and "I "Weed felt a wash of panic. She was the pocket with all n;s strength. idiotic, no longer aware. False _ dawn had

going to take it away Irom him! He tensed, The thing chucklec; Desperately Weed just touched the: sky .v--ien the : ast of Weed's preparing to grab the coat and run. Slammed.his pocket until his thigh hurt as right foot was pulled through the overcoat "It's a while tag. That'll be five dollars. badly as his hand, and the rock fell from arm and into the pocket. There was a final

Thirty cents tax." Weed scrabbled out the nerveless fingers. It had not the ieast effect crunch of bone, and then silence. money so fast he spilled his change across on the creature in the overcoat. The jogger liked to put in a good five

the counter and had to chase after it. Then The horrible thme was that despile his miles every morning before breakfast. He he snatched the coal and fled. pain, he could still think. By the time the came pounding up the boardwalk, lifting

"Don't you want a bag?" the woman thing had reached his wrist, he realized that his knees high and b.-ea:hing deep. It was

called after him. as long as he pulled his arm away, it could a beautiful morning, and he was making But he was already outside, tearing off good time. He stopped when he saw the his cruddy old K mart special and drop- overcoat lying ir a puddle by the path, and

ping it disdainfully on the sidewalk. He stooped curiously lo touch it. Then he re- struggled inlo his Burberry. alized that the dark liquid he'd mistaken tor

It felt great. The moment he had it on, his water was nothing of the kind. The police, <»There something frantic walk slowed to a determined stride. was he thought wre'ly. Somebody had to go for His back straightened. The very cutof the in the left-hand pocket. Now the police. All that blood. The trees were Burberry put him in control. He fell sure, suddenly cia'k and sinister The body might he could feel it shift determined—a man of destiny. But as he be hidden under them, mere feet away. Or walked downhill, he realized that some- slightly with each step he took, the murderer! He turned and ran. thing was subtly out of kilter about the coat. didn't like a pocket He see the Burberry burp. It didn't quite hang right. He walked along. flask full listening, feeling. Just past Ihe chocolate not quite of mercury. TWO MINUTES FORTY-FIVE SECONDS factory, he realized that it was hanging a Sometimes it jumped By Dan Simmons smidge low on the lefl side. Roger Colvin closed 'lis eyes and the steel a little, as if it were alive^ There was something in the left-hand bar clamped dow.n acoss his ap, and they pocket. Something heavy. Now that he was began the steep climb. He could hear the

paying attention, he could feel it shift slightly rattle of the heavy chain and the creak of with each step he took, like a pocket flask steel wheels on steel rails as they clanked not quite full of mercury. Sometimes it up the first hill of the roller coaster. Some- jumped a little at the peak of his stride, as make no further progress Rut the instant one behind him laughed nervously. Terri- if alive. What could it be? He lifted open he eased up, however slightly, il leaped fied o' heights, heart pounding painfully the pocket. It was dark down there. He forward to sink its teeth slightly higher up against his ribs, Colvin peeked out from imagined he could :eel a slight susurration his arm. He resisted as bes; he could, but between so^eaci ; ngers. of warm air from Ihe pockel, the faintest the pain was unimaginable. Like s'ioking The metal rafs and white wooden frame hint of something sma'i and alive and feral your hand inside a oarbage disposal and rose steeply ahead of him. Colvin was in lurking within. Twin pinpricks of yellow light turning: it on? No, worse than that, he the first car. He lowered both hands and winked al him and were gone. Eyes? Could thought hysterically, Much worse. lightly gripped the metal restraining bar. they be eyes, he wondered? Surely not By the time it reached his elbow, Weed Someone giggled in Ihe ear behind him. eyes. But still he fell an odd disquiet. was no longer human. He was a whimper- He turned his heac only tar enough to peer He cut through the new vest-pocket park ing, sobbing thngtha: wrirhedwetly on the over the side ol the rails. to the canal. That was where he always ground, His arm was so far gone that he They were very high and still rising. The went to fhink. The boardwalk thumped re- was bent in an arc lo accommodate the midway and par- ng lots grew smaller, in- assuringly underfoot. The crumbling fac- beast. The trench coat s arm was bunched dividuals growing too tiny to be seen and tory buildings tvsr& gray paper silhouettes up around the pocket. He had a single aw- the crowds becoming mere carpets of in the fading lignl The oily brown water of ful flash of lucidity as he sank beneath Ihe color, fading into a larger mosaic of geom- the canal shimmered with insects feeding. animal level ol pain. He realized that there etries of streets and lights as the enlire city Beyond the boardwalk he followed the was no creature in the pocket, only a mouth became. visible, then the entire county. They towpath into the scrub trees thai hid Ihe and teeth. That the Burberry itscll was [he clanked higher. The sky darkened lo a ruins of ihe locks. This was ridiculous. He creature, or rather an adaptive morph il had deeper blue. Colvin could see Ihe curve of

couldn't go for the rest ol his life not daring taken on. Heimag rod 1 ho beast cunningly the earth in the haze blued dhilanco 1 le to look in his own pocket. Wood took. a deep taking the place of the original coat. Wail- realized that they were hv cut ewer the edge breath. He stuck in his hand. ing for the owner to carelessly slip a hand of a lake now as he caught the glimmer of And screamed. Whatever was in the in the pocket ir search ei a pencil or a pack light on wave tops m iles oelow through the pocket, it hadn't eaten in over four dec- of Luckies' wooden lies. Colvin closed his eyes as they ades. And il was hungry. Very hungry. But that had been :ho explorer's last day brefiypassed through the cold breath of Weed fell to the ground, his scream a in Paella.. The overcoat had been folded a cloud, then snapped them open again high, ululating cry. But the trees muffled away in a trunk before it. could feed, and :as the pilch of chain rumble changed, as 110 OMNI . .

TK

LIGHT-YEARS

GROWING PLANTS PYEAP(|NlMETRlf

In a laboratory at a majcr university under federal license, Jeffery E sMarco, prf and founder of Pyraponic Indi istries, dev| ' the dicrete base concept. This concept methodology used is callec growing

Pyraponimetrically . This make > the Photoi only closed system in the woi d.

To employ the discrete bas| ; concept, two soil samples must be remg red from! of the Phototron. The first is rejnoved on and the second on Day 90 of: plant gro1

A soil analysis for nutrient { levels is thi formed at Pyraponic Laboratc ries, to de' standard pattern for the depletion rat©: plants in your Phototron. For ea :rmple, Pyrl Laboratories start your plants at 400 p< million (ppm) of nitrate nitroger] on Day 1 45, the soil analysis shows oriti 200 ppm li would mean that your plants f ave absorf other 200 ppm. There is no leaching of because the closed base has|io drainqs nitrate nitrogen can not leave the system; be found in the plants. Nutriemt depletioi are critical, but not the type qf plant.

Chemical levels in your sail are mairxH§ c;: by Pyraponic Laboratories through an up z\.:j~-\ computer controlled nutrient supply, sent to you after each soil analysis. The chemicals ..< ed are nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, o: - magnesium, sodium, chloride, sulphur iron TfcSS manganese, boron, molbderium, solubn' and Ph. Wind velocity, carbon dioxide satuf relative humidity, and temperature aie controll- ed by the design of the Phototron; pumps a are not needed. Vertical lights six (6)inr-e:

.-..: mean that no plant is farther thpn three (3) i r from any of three (3) different light sources i:c reflecting from all interior panels of the Phi super-saturates every leaf topfcrnd bottorr ing each a photosynthetic faojory. Plants do not rn have to stretch toward their light source k>- the light source is coming to^ie plants from ait angles. This will reduce the ^stance oe 3 budding and fruiting locations,. »:,:

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PYRAPONIC INDUSTRIES, INC A P.O. EOX 1071, MELROSE PARK, IL 60160 1-312-544-2837 OVEP the steep gradient lessened, as they smash him. Colvin screaks arc the spit- flown out to Bor-g Son Vafey near the coast reached the top. tle floats in the air in front of him. falling at to see why a shipment of standard C-4 And went over. the same velocity, hanging mere The lights plastic explosives was not detonating for There was nothing beyond. The two rails rush past. The blue square grows. an ARVN unit when ihe Jesus nut came off curved out and down and ended in air, Colvin took a drink, placed the glass in their Huey, and the helicopter fell, rotor- Colvin gripped '.he restraining bar as the the circle set in the wide arm of his chair, less, two hundred eighty feet into the jun- car pitched forward and over. He opened and tapped away at nis caiculator. gle, tore through almosi a hundred feet of his mouth to scream. The tall began. Falling objects in a gravity field follow thick vegetation, and came to'a stop, up- "Hey, Ihe worst part's over." Colvin precise mathematics, rules, as precise as side down, in vines ten feet above the hacl opened his eyes to see Bill Montgomery the force vectors and bum rates in' the ground. The ploi been neatly impaled handing him a drink. The sound of the shaped charges and solid fuels Colvin had by a limb that smashed up through the floor Gulfstream's jet engines was a dull rumble designed for twenty years, but just as ox- of the Huey. The copilot's skull had under the gentle hissing of air from the ygen al facts combustion rales, so air con- smashed through the windshield, The overhead ventilator nozzle. Colvin took the trols the speed ol a falling body. Terminal gunner was thrown out, breaking his neck drink, turned down the flow of air, and velocity depends upon atmospheric pres- and back, and died ihe next day. Colvin glanced out the window. Logan Interna- sure, mass distribution, and surlace area walked away with a sprained ankle. tional was already out of sight behind them, as much as upon gravity. Colvin looked down as they crossed altitude al and Colvin could make out Nantasket Colvin lowered his eye'icis as if to doze, Nantucket. He estimated their Beach below, a score of small white trian- and saw what he saw every night when he eighteen thousand feet and climbing steadily. altitude, gles of sail in ihcj expanse of bay and ocean pretended to sleep; the billowing white Their cruising he knew, feet. beyond. They were still climbing. cloud, expanding oUward like a time-lapse was to be thirty-two thousand Much "Damn, we're glad you decided to come film of a slanting, lilting stratocumulus lower than forty-six thousand, especially with us this time, Roger," Montgomery said blossoming against a dark blue sky; the lacking the vertical thrust vector, but so interior of nitrogen lelrox- much dependec upon surface area. to Colvin. "It's gaoo having I he whole team reddish-brown together again. Like the old days." Mont- When Colvin was a boy in the 1950's, he

: gomery smiled. The three other men in the saw a photograph in the "old" National En- cabin raised their glasses. Colvin played qwerof a woman who had jumped off the with the calculator in his lap and sipped his Empire State Building and landed on ihe vodka. He look a breath and closed his roof of a car. Her legs were crossed almost ^Afraid of heights. eyes. Afraid of heights. Always afraid. Six casually at the ankles; there was a hole in of her nylon stockings. years old and in the barn, tumbling from Always afraid. He was six the toe of one The folded in- loft, the fall seemingly endless, time roof of the car was tlattened, the years oid and in the stretching out, the sharp tines of the pitch- ward, almost like a arge goose-down mat- fork rising toward him. Landing, wind barn, tumbiing from the ioft, tress, molding itself to ihe weight of a sleeping person. The woman's head looked knocked out of him, cheek and right eye the fali seemingiy against the straw, three inches from the as if it were sunk deep in a soft pillow. endless, time stretching, the steel points of Ihe pitchfork. Colvin tapped al his calculator. A woman "The company's ready to see better sharp tines of the stepping oft the Empire State Building Larry Miller. "Two and a half would fall for almost fourteen seconds be- days," said pitchfork rising toward him$ street. falling in a years of bad press is certainly enough. It fore hiiting the Someone feel will be good to see the launch tomorrow. metal box Irom forty-six thousand Get things started again." would fall for two minutes and forty-five hi: water. "Hear, hear," said Tom Weiscott. It was seconds before ling hie What did not yet noon but Tom had already had too she ihink about? What did fhey think about? much to drink. ide flame; and— just visible below the :wo Most popular songs and rock videos are Colvin opened his eyes and smiled. emerging, mindless contrails of the SRBs— about three minutes long, thought Colvin. Counting himself, there were four corpo- the tumbling, luzzy square of the forward It is a good length of time: not so long one rate vice presidents in the plane. Weiscott luselage, flight deck included. Even the gets bored, long enough to tell a story. Bill was sfill a project manager. Colvin put his most amplified images had not shown him "We're damned glad you're with us," cheek to the window and watched Cape the closer details — the intact pressure Montgomery said again. s Cod Bay pass below. He guessed their al- vessel that was the crew comparlrnent. "God damn it," Bill Montgomery had. titude to be eleven or twelve thousand feet scorched on the right side where the run- whispered to Colvin outside the telecon- and climbing. away SRB had played its flame upon it, ference room twenty-seven months earlier. Colvin imagined a building nine miles tumbling, falling free, trailing wires and ca- 'Are you with us or against us on this?" high. From the hall of the top tloor he would bles and shreds of fuselage behind it like A teleconference was much like a se- step into the elevator. The floor of the ele- an umbilical and afterbirth. The earlier im- ance. The group sal in semidarkened vator would be made of glass. The elevator ages had not shown these details, but Col- rooms hundreds or thousands of miles shaft drops -away forty-six hundred floors vin had seen them, touched them, after the apart and communed with voices which beneath him, each floor marked with hal- fracturing impact with ihe merciless blue came from nowhere. ogen lights, the parallel lights drawing sea. There were layers of- tiny barnacles "Well, that's ihe weather situation here," closer in the nine miles of black air beneath growing on the ruptured skin. Colvin imag- came the voice from KSC. "What's it to be?" him until they merged in a blur below. ined the darkness and cold waiting at the "We've seen your lelefaxed stuff," said He would look up in time to see the ca- end- of that fall, small fish feeding. the voice from Marshall, "but still don't un- ble snap, separate He falls', clutching fu- "Roger," said/Steve Cahill, "where'd you derstand why we should consider scrub- tilely at the inside walls of the elevator, walls get your fear of flying?" bing based on an anomaly that small. You which have grown as slippery as the clear- Colvin shrugged linisned his vodka. "I assured us that this stuff was so fail-safe glass floor. Lights rush by, but already the don't know." that you could kick it around ihe block if concrete floor of the shaft is visible miles In Vietnam— not "Nam" or "in-coun- you wanted to." below—a tinyblue concrete square, grow-^ try"— a place Colvin still wanted to think of Phil McGuire. ihe chief engineer on Col- ing as the elevator car plummets. He knows' as a place raiher than a condition, he had vin's project team, squirmed in his seat and that he has almost three minutes to watch flown. Already -an expert on shaped spoke too loudly. The teleconference that blue square come closer, rise up to charges and propellants, Colvin was being phones had speakers by each chair and 112 OMNI SPLIT WORLD

JOHN PITRE LITHOGRAPH

' In .an age when the chasm between developed and underdeveloped nations of the world appears to be widening, "Split World", acclaimed as one of the finest examples of John Pitre's work, depicts a timely dramatization of the ongoing 'conflict between

the industrial world of high technology and its rural underdeveloped counterpart.

"Split World" is a fine art limited edition print executed on archival, acid-free paper at Atelier Bertohni, New York, under the direct supervision of /ohn Pitre. Each print has

been hand signed and numbered and is accompanied by a Certificate of Authenticity.

Offered exclusively from: GENESIS INTERNATIONAL,aLTD. You are invited 32 FIELD POINT ROAD to write or telephone GREENWICH, CT 06830 for additional information. TELEPHONE: (203) 629-3355 i.ur !. nil could pick up the softest tones. "You don't Co'vr ad as I Montgom- understand, do you?" McGuire almost ery called from his side of Ihe cabin, "Hey,

shouted. "It's (he combination of cold tem- I think .1 see Long Island." ..;'' I v -T1FROM peratures and the likelihood of electrical "Bill," said Colvin, "approximately how activity in that cloud layer that causes the much did the company make this year on ing pain— is usually stable over a lifetime. problems. In the past live flights there'vs the C-12B redesign?" The Barabas/os agree thai altered states

been three transient everts \r the leads that Montgomery took a orin.< and stretched of mind, like hypnotizab'iity in wilderness

run from SRB linear-shaped charges to the his legs in the roomy interior of the Gulf- environments m-ghl have some practical

Range Safety command antennas." stream. "About four hundred million, I think, value. "The enhanced hypnosis capacity "Transient events," said Ihe voice from Rog. Why?" can be used in many ways: to ncease ob KSC, "but they are within flight certification "And did the agency ever seriously con- performance, decrease anxiety, relax, en-

sider going lo someone else alter. . .after?" hance imagination, go to sleep, or in-

"Well . . . yes," said McGuire, He "Shit," said Tom Weiscott, "where else crease vigilance at peak times—all with- sounded close to tears. "But it's within pa- could they go? We got them by the short out using drugs and at no cost," says

rameters because we keep signing waiv- hairs. They thought aboul il for a few months Marianne Barabasz. ers and rewriting the goddamn parame- and then came cawing back. You know Having the right person along might be ters. We just don't know why the C-12B you're the best designer ot shaped range ihe perfect anlidele ;o so-T; o" the stresses shaped range safety charges on the SRBs safety devices and solid hypergolics in the of long-term space iravel. Supporting Ro- and ET record a transient current flow when country, Rog." manenko's complaints, psychologist no enable functions have been transmit- Colvin nodded. wo-Ked with his calcu- Donna Oliver, a veteran of a long Antarctic ted. Roger thinks that maybe the LSC en- lator a minute and closed his eyes, The stay, stresses the importance of having a able leads or the C-12 compound itself can steel bar clamped down across his lap, and psychological "buddy" in ihe wilderness, accidentally allow the static discharge lo the car he rode in clanked higher .and someone to whom one can confide deep

simulate a command signal. . . . Oh, hell, higher. The air grew thin and cold, ihe fears and who can help a person stay on

re// them, Roger." screech of wheel on rail dwindling into a track mentally. "In the Antarctic there was "Mr. Colvin?" thin scream as ihe roller coaster lumbered more honesty, more accountability, since Colvin cleared his throat. "We've been above the six-mile mark. our survival depended on assuming per- watching that tor some time. Preliminary In case of toss of cabin pressure, oxy sonal responsibiliiy for the whole group."

data suggests temperatures below twenty- gen masks will descend from the ceiling Ultimately all these strange and worri- eighl degrees Fahrenheit allow the zinc Please fasten them securely over your some mental states might never be a seri-

oxide residue in the C-12B stacks to con- mouth and nose and breathe normally. ous problem. Humans may once again

duct a false signal ... if there's enough Colvin peeked ahead, up the terrible in prove themselves eminently adaptable lo ." static discharge . . . theoretically . . ciine of the roller coaster, sensing the sum- the role of the lonely voyager. The wilder- "But no solid database on this yet?" said mit of the climb ahead and the emptiness ness experience has to be seen in a larger the voice from Marshall. beyond that point. frame of reference. "These exposures to "No," said Colvin. The tiny air-tank-and-mask combina- extreme and unusual environments are all

: "And you did sign the Crilicality One tions were called PEAPs— Personal Egress just part of a total ii: e experience." explains waiver certifying hchl re.-: dress on the last Air Packs. PEAPs from four of the five crew psychologist Peter Suedfeld, dean of three flights?" memoes were recovered from the ocean graduate studies at the Un versify of British "Yes," said Colvin. bottom. All had been activated. Two min- Columbia. "Peoo'e ere shaped by them in "Well," said the voice from KSC, "we've utes and forty-five seconds of each five- differeni ways. Some prisoners of war, for heard from the engineers at Beunet-HCS. minute air supply had been used up. instance, sulfer stress of almost psycholic What do you say we have recommenda- Colvin watched the summit of the roller severity; others find the experience tions from management there?" coaster's first hill arrive. strengthens them and gives their life Bill Montgomery had called a five-min- There was a raw metallic noise and a meaning. Of [he people who went lo the ute break, and the management team met lurch as the roller coaster went over the lop moon, one subsequently became a mis-

in the half "God damn it, Roger, are you and off the rails. People in the cars behind sionary in search of Noah's ark, another

with us or against us on this one?" Colvin screamed and kepi on screaming. became involved in ESP If we look at space Colvin had looked away. Colvin lurched forward and grabbed the iravel in terms of a total life experience, "I'm serious," snapped Montgomery. restraining bar as the roller coaster plum- space may be a oeak exper ic-nce lor some,

"The LCS division has brought this com- meted into nine miles o~ nothingness. He or for others it may be an anticlimax. "DO pany two hundred and fifteen million dol- opened his eyes. A single glimpse out the lars in profit this year, and your work has Gullsheam window told him that the thin CREDITS been an important part of that success, lines of shaped charge he had placed there Roger. Now you seem ready to flush that had removed all of Ihe port wing cleanly, away on some goddamn transient telem- surgically. The limbic- rale suggesled lhat etry readings that don't mean anything enough of a stub of the starboa'd wing was when compared to the work we've done as left to provide ihe surface area needed to

a team. There's a vice presidency opening keep the tormina, velocity a little lower than in a few months, Roger. Don't screw your maximum. Two minutes and forty-five sec- chances by losing your head like that hys- onds, plus or minus four seconds.

teric McGuire." Colvin reached for his calculator, but it "Ready?" said the voice from KSC when had -flown free in the cabin, colliding with five minutes had passed. hurtling boitles, glasses, cushions, and "Go," said Vice President Montgomery. bodies ihat had not been securely

' "Go," said Vice President Miller. strapped in. The screaming was very loud. "Go," said Vice President Cahill. ' Two minutes and forty-five seconds. "Go," said Project Manager Weiscott. Time to think of many things Arc perhaps, "Go," said Project Manager Colvin. just perhaps, after two and a half years of

"Fine;" said KSC. "I'll pass along the rec-' no sleep without dreams, perhaps it would ommendation. Sorry you gentlemen won't be time enough for a short nap with no

be here to watch the liftoff tomorrow." dreams ai all. Colvin closed his eyes. DO

Ill OMNI STAR TECH

ACCESSING THE FUTURE

HIGH-TECH AFFAIR

Each January about

check out the latest high-tech devices at the annual Winter Consumer Electronics Shaw (WCES). This month's Star Tech is devoted to some ol the a novel products presented at the 1988 WCES, as reported by PROTECT AND SAVE EAnnES

1. STRINGS. II you pull slowly, the upper

part of the string wil break iirst because it must support the weight of the rock in ad- dition to your pull. When you yank the lower part suddenly, the inertia of the rock allows the force of your pull lo act on the lower

portion ol string, which wi I break first. 2. SOAR Soap weakens the surface ten- sion of the water inside the loop. Outside

it, the surface tension remains strong and

.pulls the thread outward, equally in all di- rections, to form a circle. 3. WEIGH. Glass B goes down, raising Automatic Motion-Sensitive glass A. When you put your finger in ihe SECURITY LIGHTS wafer, you increase the volume by an amount equal to the volume of your finger. Outdoor Governance! Now when you It's as if you had added that much more enter your driveway, or walk the yard at water to the glass, so it becomes heavier. night. ..an adjustable sensor detects move- ment of people or objects and turns Hood- 4. COMB. Take a plastic comb and lights on automatically! Take advantage charge it with static elecf-c ty by rubbing

of the LOW liquidation price. Order today! it with fur or wool. Then bring it close to the • Passive Controlled Sensor Detects salt and pepper. The lighter bits of pepper Movement ot Persons or Objects Near will jump up to the comb, leaving only the Health Home or Business. Helps Ward Oft salt Tech. Inc. behind. :,; '. '.- ij : i/! 'il ! '« . i. ' Intruders. I ft i 5. STORM. One mile. Sound travels a • Solid State Circuit Activates Outdoor mile in approximately five seconds. The Floodlights to Turn on Automatically. • Lights Can be Adjusted to Stay on from general rule is to count Ihe seconds be- 10 Sec. to 15 Min. with Auto Shutoff. tween seeircj Ihe lightning aid hearing the • Adjustable Aiming Capability. Day/Night thunder, then divide by five to determine Sensor Assures Only Night Operation. the distance in miles. • Minimum Range: 40'L x 60'W. Handles 6. CUBE. Lay the wet string on top of the Two, 1S0W Floodlights (not included). ice cube and sprinkle salt on it. Extracting • Uses Existing Wiring. U.L. Listed. Size: 8Vfe"H x 11"W x 10"D. heat from the string's water, the salt melts the surface of the ice. The string then One-Year Ltd. Vendor Warranty. freezes on the cube.

ust .*99.00 7. STRAW. Bend the end ol the straw and $ slip it into the bottle, wedging the end 49 against the inside of Ihe bottle. The straw Item H-3466-7127-897 S/H: $5.00 ea. is strong enough to withstand a push (on Set of 2 Flood Lights: the shorter section inside Ihe bottle) and a s pull (on the longer section you're holding), List 198.00 so you can lift [he bottle by the straw. Liquidation i^-^ REACH FOR $89 8. LEVITATION. ! Item H-3466-7286-586 S/H: $6.S0/set Put glass num- THE STARS ber five in the Blue Angel has the largest selection Credit card customers can order by center to sup- of pyrotechnic items all phone, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. port the knives At Wholesale Prices! Toil-Free: 1-800-328-0609 as you arrange them, overlapping their tips. As you slip the

HCdluE] Authorized Liquidator fourth knife into position, raise the other ABSOLUTELY FREE 1405 Xenium Lar« N/MUfK polia, MN 56441- three with your finger. The tips of all four knives end up slightly above the center Blue Angel color catalog! -3466- 71 27-397 al glass, which you can then remove and 1-800/BLU-ANGEL (USA) place of knives. 1-800/258-2643 (USA) Send Set erf 2 Security Lightf Kern H-3466^a6-$e6 on top the 9. RULER. Your fingers will meet in the middle, at the 18-inch mark. When the yardstick is unbalanced, the longer end ,_._ exerts more friction, so the finger under that ; D end doesn't move while the finger of the other hand moves inward. When the fric- tion is equal on both ends, the ends alter- nate in sliding by small amounts until your ingers moot at the center. For more science fun with everyday ob- jects, see Mr. Wizard's 400 Experiments in Science (Book Lab, 1983) and Mr. Wiz- ard's Supermarket Science (Random House, 1980). DO :

Off to see the Wizard: Making complicated science seem like comon sense

By Scot Morris

For many of us who grew up in the Fifties early Six- and toothpick What will lies, Don Herbert was the happen? Why? science teacher we wished . .3. WATER WEIGH-. we'd had. television's As class ol water rests or i-acf- avuncular, soft-spoken Mr. end of a ruler balance d-":.-' Wizard, Herbert brought on a pencil. Glass A if fust science out of the classroom stig'ntiy heavier than ql, into the kitchen. and B. What will happen v len The weekly Watch Mr. Hl/i n you put a finger m gia •22 Wizard premiered on NBC in 'B? Explain. 1951, and for [he next 15 . 4 COMB- TRICK So years- ^. countless kids learned pep pens-sprinkled o ^ how to make vinegar-and- top of.apile-of salt He mm MSB baking-soda- powered rack- carryou 'use a pocket ets, write secret messages WIZ QUIZ in lemon juice, and rub a balloon in their hair and stick Try these ten classic '5.STORMFORMUL

it to the wall. Of course, with the show from Mr Wizard r„ Pe'lore and five seconds ajr filmed live, kids shared 1 TWO STRINGS. A - you hear a thundercla the occasional mishaps as rock hangs. Iron n---' '} Apfjroximaioty hew far ,1 fll:l ' well. Once, for example, by a- thin string, and away, in miles, did :he their cer "Or, a.- shown How Herbert tried to use an elec- ' . ike? it another piece o the same Iiahlninn ball sir ' is- "don tric coil to light a candle siring hangs be 6 CUBE LIFT. Try lit mg- 9RU inside a bottle. section QrString m ce cubewith a six

During time the wick : show -,:.;firslif you.piJll th inch '-'lglhor.slring. It' wouldn't light, the ceil and a]:s!owly or b)c s-ic-»: to Knot around if just got hotter and hotter, Explain.: cube. What kitchen su pply V. anr

producing air : a mixture of ;,2-:.SOAPLOC do you .need to accorr under if ich mark. vaporized paraffin. and : • v-i; endS-Of a Six-in plrsh the leal? Wfial wi i ir. en if you The result was an explosion form a loop F : . 7, STRAW HOIST. T that rocketed ihe bottle out of challenge. here >s \o '..»< 'wha^maS

: the closeup shot. -' : Touch the inside ari'eiTiDlysoda bor.l? "Fortunately, no one was with a drinking .straw,-. hurt," Herbert says. "But at that fime we were doing ihe show live on tape, and it Ihese segments quickly accoss'bo was the only time that the About. . ., recently shared became dated. The best paratus die Mr. Wizard show was edited. the prestigious Westing-

It wasn't to remove the inci- house-AAAS award for dis- dent— I just explained that I rng.jiancd science reporting must have inadvertently And Mr. Wizard's World, cotten the wick wet. What loarured on ihe cabie channc-: was edited out was Ihe sound Nickelodeon, revives the aooroaci -o sconce was of the stage crew laughing cj-fj 'ormat of kids dropping born of necessity. "We Herbert has always be. after the explosion." by his "kilchen." couldn't afford beakers and able to present just Ihe Today, wiih filmed retakes Early World .episodes Bunscn burners, so we had to 'ight analogy or ample (H and editing, such incidents included demonstrations of use je'.-y iars and candles," are nevefseen by his televi- lasers, holograms, com- says Herbert, who al seventy s on audiences. His syndi- puters, and robots, Because has noplans.to retire Mr. cated series of 90-second technology changes so Wizard. "The ordinary props onsiral'on of air pressure. science updates lor local rapid : y nowever. many of made ihe lessons more Herbert used a peeled, hard- 120 OMNI boiled egg and a milk bottle. Pressing on the stopper the show in him to select one. The challenge: Get the egg increased the internal water 1958, when he was only ten Tell him to stare at his inlo the bottle. pressure The water level years old. He's now a senior selected optical illusion. The solution was to drop a in the dropper rose, com- investigator at the National Meanwhile you scoop up the piece of burning paper into pressing the air above it. This Institutes ol Healih in Be- cards and secretly turn the Ihe bottle and then set the decreased the dropper's thesda, Maryland. "I viewed pack around so that the egg on top. The hot air buoyancy, making it sink. Mr. Wizard more as a televi- words on the back pattern at the far end. expanded, pushing out past "The minute I saw a naif- sion personality than as a are now the egg, which served as gallon plastic soda bottle scientist, but watching him Have your victim return his excellent intro- card to the pack, sliding it a one-way valve. I thought, My God, that would provided an When the fire went out, the be perfect for the Cartesian duction to the scientific in so lhat its back pattern is air and gases inside the diver demonstration" Her- method," Dr. Fox- says. "He facing the opposite direction bottle cooled and contracted, bert recalls. "AH you have to made it all understandable, from the rest of the cards. making a partial vacuum. do is cap the bottle and interesting, and exciting." Shuffle the deck with shuffle. This will Atmospheric pressure then squeeze it lo get the effect Fox's younger brother, an overhand pushed the egg into the Now observers don't know Steve, moreover, developed not disturb the way the ends bottle with a loud plop what's making the dropper go an interest in science journal- of the back pattern are The demise ol the milk up and down." ism and is now managing 'pointed. Call this maneuver bottle endangered this classic The plastic bottle makes eoiior of Omni. "randomizing Ihe designs."

experiment less mislead- Hold the deck as if dealing, demonstration. Some nursing the PENN& TELLER'S you can clearly see the bottles and apple juice ing as well as more mysteri- LOW-DOWN PSEUDO- so backs while your victim sees bottles have the right-size ous. By pressing on a rubber PSYCHOLOGICAL SCAM openings—just smaller than stopper, you might think only the faces. the average egg— but they that the downward push on Magicians Penn and Teller Show him the designs on vary in size and aren't widely the water-causes the reaction. adapted the following trick the cards one at a time. Tell ihere will notice- available. So Herbert came Intact, it doesn't matter for Omni, using the Visual him be a up with a substitute egg: whether the pressure is ex- Illusion Cards described on able change in the size of a balloon filled with water. erted from the top, the bot- page 9 of this month's Whole his pupils when he sees Because the balloon can be tom, or the sides. Universe Catalog. a familiar illusion design. Ask Set up the deck with the him to try lo keep his eyes four or five times the size ALUMNI WHIZZES of the bottle's mouth, the back designs of the. cards all unchanged as you show him demonstration is now much "It's so much fun watching facing the same direction the different pictures. more dramatic. kids get excited about sci- (lor example, with the words As you show him each Herbert, who has al the near end). Put them card, stare at his eyes. When DROPPERS AND STOPPERS ence." says kepi in contact with a few of in the box. you hold up the selected Herbert has also adapted the Watch Mr. Wizard alumni. Lie: Tell your victim that card, of course, you will the Cartesian diver demon- Former Mr. Wizard kids experiments in perception instantly see that its back stration ol atmospheric include the head of promotion have demonstrated that pattern is reversed. Stop pressure. In the original ex- and publicity for a television people's eyes have different suddenly, but continue staring periment, named after phi- station, a playwright, a col- reactions to familiar and .at his eyes. Act uncertain. losopher Rene Descartes, umnist lor Parents magazine, unfamiliar patterns. Tell your victim that by the

Herbert filled a medicine a Speech therapist, and Show him the box of play- change in his eyes you think dropper with just enough several actresses. ing cards and describe this is the design he viewed. water to make it float upright. As far as Herbert knows, the contents. Tell him that you If he's amazed, offer to

Then he placed it in a glass none of the show's children want him to look at only one teach him everything he bottle filled to the brim with became scientists. "They of the patterns. needs to know to do the- slunt water and covered the bottle's were chosen for the show Take out the spiral-pattern on his own—for a fee. Tell mouth with a rubber stopper. because they weren't science card. Have him stare at it him the skill is not difficult and When he pressed down on buffs, io better represent lo "clear his field of vision." will also help him tell when the top, the dropper would the average child." he' says. (This is bunk.) someone is lying. sink to Ihe bottom; when We know of at least one Take the rest of the deck Take the victim's money.

- he let go, it would rise to Ihe exception, however: Phil Fox, out of the box, and spread the Teach him the trick. top again. a red-haired boy who first cards facedown. Then ask Run away. DO 121 :

From the moment that household appli- tor the death ot President Kennedy. Now ances arrived on the scene in the Twenties, those many years later an investigator eiectrdlinguist's have contended thai mealed that r'ght next ic lite window [hose strange whirring sounds made by from which Lee Harvey Oswald fired the

refrigerators, ioasters, and washing fatal shots was a little refrigerator where machines were no! really response? to She kiiter stored his Coke. The 'eirigerator fluciual ons in \hq level of eeeific curreni had been sole off years- before for spare but were an parts. But the blood hounds'.were -loosed, which appliances communicated with one and in one of the most relentless

i i another Furthermore, investigations ii in. || . ; .; :.., . i ' conducted at the Federal Bureau of the [- Or< hed the: tor piece by. piece.

'''. "' when people were having arguments, the;," Tne coor was discovered 'as part.ofa appliances invariably became very conceptual artwork hanging in the

quiet almost as .i iiiey were listening in. .Museum of Modern Art. The wiring was- Federal anthropologists were convinced retrieved from a.niS&M.clubin Venice, '.

that if man could learn to speak with his California: the Fmon pump, from an appliances, he could obtain a remarkably A;r Patagonia 7A1 Eveulually investigators'

' .,' .-':.:!:: ' intimate oral history of the lives of out 01. Wl I h !•-. . :f\ fore ; !. ...m .,i in Mow

Thus it was a cause tor jubilation when York City. On Christmas Day they found It

bur i in tne East River, caked with cement, announcer; that his agency had cracked smashed, and waterlogged beyond alj

the secret language of appliances by repair With it died the last hope oi unrav- establishing communication with a Mary 5tt?ry of v-K's assassination.

l s old and a Frankly, not many people cared about

i !' ' - i i ;= : . .!' ;, 1937 Sea-'s washer-dryer. "i- I,, ! .VI, .

ii . ii'-.; ii . 'in' !'. i in. . ULORD The lv!3;y Proctor toaster hacilived i e ii' through the Great Crash and the Thirties, nation was coming to a boil. Unfaithful

; By J,oe Queenan .. watching all \2 members of the family it spouses chucked their toasters into tne belonged to die of malnutrition. The tragic river. Laundromats began to do a booming

of a portable space heater, late i easier was subsequently made and dryers into nastily excavated into a best -setling book. A Toaster's Oral abysses.. Dishwashers suspected of three alarm clocks, History ot the Depression, which itself being stoolies were abducted ano lynched ,and a coffee-cup warmer, was made into a very popular television by angry mobs. Transistor radios were the government was movie. Burn JoO. fit-sned down to.iets wasn't nearly AI shits point social - The washer-dryer as engineers stepped'. : to hail such underworld able hub wish .-:. IS'.KI kingpins as Irish Mike of American socialise was alter at: the to drape appliances in Ihiek crepe so kitchen, not the basement: yo! i: had seen that, they couldn't see anything (An Oak ;: "The Greek'' Siementowski* plenty. It had witnessed the meter man Park Illinois, firm even came out with and Mrs. Dingle, 'he lady of tne house, a highy successful device—-appl.ance

lockeo in frequent embrace. Ditto with the blinders.) Another was to move all house- : maHrnan, the milkman, ano the gas man. hold appliances to the attic

; if had heard the footsteos of the angered But it was i saved the

lord of the manor upstairs. I; had neard day when it hey.introduced- the Bozcns.

: ii i -I . -i, i the shouts and re-crim nations, witnessed i nodsohi I .Hi' whose

the struggle in tne rec room soon the ^microprocessing -units -had : been

poker 'all. And It knew where the body was programmed to behave like bozos. buried under the Ping- Pong. table On Because tne testimony oi mental defec- the basis of its testimony plus what the tives could not oe used In court the police found in the basement Garrison entire nation went ou : and bought $256 rife billion rjf them one Saturday, further had run off with a bowling-bail repairman, harming Americas balance ot trade. was condemned to the electric chair Today a nation of proud, happy, secure The case hat; a far-reaching impact on Americans live in harmony with millions tne American judicial system win of unintelligent appt-ances in an unusual thousands of pocket cald ;ia1ois, transistor but mutually satisfying alliance Only

radios, and car ste;cos being rounded lime can tell whether this is good or bad. up interrogated, and used to convict but one thing is certain: With Dumbo known mobsters. On the testimony of three the dishwasher unable to make heads or alarm decks, a portable space heater, fails of what anyone's saying its tesii- and an elecmc coiteo-cup warmer, mor d hubby to the government was ad-e to nai: such the slammer, Kimberty to the drug rehab undetvvoric: kingpins as Vic "I he Cmcken center, or the attorney general to. Leaven-'

Man" Bardclmo Sat "The Other Chicken worth. And for the. if 'or nothing 0;se

1 " Man Valpoiicelia, and Irish Mike The all Americans can -say, "Now we can ail '.. Greek" Siementdwski. have a nice day."DQ' ' Ai id then ihere was "he J! K case. For decades, historians had been attempting to find out who was really responsible 122 OMNI