You Will Always Be A Banger

2nd Quarter. July- September 2009

THE BIG CHAIR MY WHISTLE 4 Message from Tom Watters 14 Dave Smith explains the new ELV’s BANGER NEWS ODD RUGBY NEWS 5 Overview of club activity 15 Pub scrap at the Bath Rugby Club THE MOTS du CAPTAINE GEOFF THE CHEF 6 French speak from the club captain 16 Read the label COLT CAPPIE SWEET SPOT 7 Tates on the Banger Colts 18 A littel golf from “Soi Dog” BURGESS BANGER HOROSCOPE 9 The club coach writes - READ 20 Its in the Stars !!!!!!!

10 11

19 24

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

2 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger new MY OPENING SHOT

T HAS BEEN A BUSY QUARTER. Tours down to the eastern Iseaboard to the Chris Kays Memorial Tens and to the Overgaard International Tens in Phuket. In addition, there was a game against the Kriel Roosters from South Africa, just prior to the Phuket tournament. The Bangers now play in the Thai Rugby Union competition. Took some getting there. but we have arrived. The trick now is to put two competitive teams out each Saturday. A special thanks to the club photographers Johnn Jaspers and Robert Brewer. Like any rugby publication out there, the Banter is always looking for action shots. It not east to capture these and often in- volves hours on the sideline taking hundreds of shots just to get half a dozen good ones. Johnn and Robert always deliver. Thanks guys. Our club coach has also turned his hand to snapping the odd picture. He has submitted a couple of beauties. So thank you too Pete. We lost a Banger a couple of months ago. Pascal Leray. Pascal was popular player in the old boys squad and toured with the original Bangers to Limerick and to the Golden Oldies tournament in Bris- bane. An appropriate ceremony was held at Wall Street with large turnout of members present for proceedings. One of Pascal’s other interests was sailing. He was an active member of the Ocean Marina Yacht Club. The after training beer record has tumbled again. Amazing.... Just when you think the lads can’t better that, they go out and break it again with style, flair and panache. Maybe the wrong choice of words. Nobody has style, flair and panache after drinking 130 large bottles of Heineken !!! Chris Dunning has done a great job selling the sponsorship packages for the current season. Given the difficult economic times, this was not an easy ask. Hey, he is a Banger. He can do anything. Remember, the Banter is your newsletter. If you have anything you (Conditions Apply) ever want to add, please send your jottings to [email protected] Regards Mike

EDITORIAL : Tom Watters, Jean “ Jeff CONTRIBUTORS : Andy Raming, Stewart Gorman WEBMASTER : Jason Manning Francois Klentzi, Peter Burgess, Andy Campbell, : Johnn Jaspers, Robert Brewer Rick O”Shea, Andrew Tatam, Geoff McKenna, PHOTOGRAPHY Doug Ozzane, David Smith, Mike Laloli

The Banger Banter is published quarterly for the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club for members, sponsors and friends of the club and available through the website. Club members contribute all editorial and photography. The layout and design is provided by Ruck Graphics - a member of the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

3 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

THE BIG CHAIR

tour once again and very well organized by Foxy. S YOU READ THIS the Old Bangkok Bangers and the Each year gets better. The performances on the field A Colts will have participated were also commendable in what has become a very in the Thai Rugby Union League Programme for hard tournament indeed. We convincingly retained the very first time. This is a real milestone for the the Weasel Cup with a 36 to 0 drubbing of the Phuket club as it brings us further into the Thai rugby Viagrabonds. More of this will be inside the Banter. community. Let’s show the teams we play not only Once again we sponsored 4 kids schooling including our kills on the field of play but how real rugby one donated by Thomas from Chesa Restaurant who socializing should be. We have a game against has now become one of our sponsors. He did this as the Southerners on 27th June and we plan to host punishment for losing the Tour mascot, a sin of the a party afterwards at our new sponsor Bistro 33 highest order. restaurant on Soi 33. So the club marches on and we have a good On sponsorship, Cris Dunning has done a great programme of games and social events planned. Please job in very difficult times in raising some good keep an eye on the website and on the newsletter. sponsorship both in cash and in kind and I thank Mike Laloli is our media and communications him for that. I also thank all the sponsors who are manager and he will ensure (so he tells me) that our continuing to support the Old Bangkok Bangers. communications will continually improve. Please give your support to our sponsors as much as they support us. Aw ra best The annual tour to Phuket has come and gone as Hamish Watters has a few more brain cells of the tourists. Great Chairman

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

4 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger Banger News

PASCAL LERAY (1956 - 2009) EX BOKS TO SUPPORT BANGERS IN SA Pascal Leray, a member of The Banger Old Boys tour to Cape Town in 2010 is the club passed away recent- finding its legs. Support has now come from the South ly. The popular Frenchman, African Rugby community. The latest Banger signing is one of the original Bangers, Naas Botha, the former great Springbok pivot who has toured with the club to decided to play for the Bangers during the tournament. Limerick and to Brisbane. Ground support and assistance has also come from He will always be remem- another former Springbok Bobby Skinstead a popular bered for the eternal smile, visitor to Bangkok with the Jam Boys, who will be on that seem to light up a room. hand to welcome the boys to Cape Town. His other interest in life was BANGERS RAISE FUNS IN SWIMATHON sailing. As a member of the Ocean Marina Yacht Club in Jomtien he regularly The Bangers entered a team in Patana International sailed in the local and regional regattas. He sailing School Charity Swimathon. Twelve Bangers turned up strategy was, “start fast and accelerate”. Celebra- and the team came third in the competition. Scoring tion of life activities were held at Wall Street with points was not what it was all about. Raising funds for Banger RC members and at the Ocean Marina charity was the goal - 15.700 Baht. amongst the sailing fraternity and family who trav- BOTTLE RECORD SMASHED AGAIN elled from France. After cremation rites, Pascal’s The Banger after training drinking sessions are stuff of ashes were scattered on the Gulf of Siam. legions. In such pleasant surroundings it is easy to see COLTS TAKE BOWL N PATTAYA why. The Red & White restuarant is just a short canter The Banger Colts entered the annual Chris Kays from the training pitch. After a cold shower and change International Rugby 10’s with high aspirations. All you could have an ice cold Heinekin in your hand weekend they toiled on the paddock at Horseshoe in five minutes. The record now stands at 130 large Point however, were eliminated from in Cup com- bottles of Heineken. petition by a Thai composite side. the Thai Legends. RUGBY CELEBRITIES IN TOWN They regrouped as the Bangers do, to scoop the The recent Bangkok Lions Celebrity Dinner at the Cen- Bowl in a tough final against our cross city rivals tara Hotel was another success. Guest speakers: Spring- The British Club. More silverware on the bulging bok: Naas Botha, Wallaby: Owen Finnegan and Welsh- Wall Street trophy shelf. man: Mike Watkins entetained the audience with rugby SILVERTAILS KEEP WEASAL CUP stories from the distance pass. The Bangers present, The Banger Old Boys entered the Overgaard Phuket enjoyed the evening, with post dinner activity extend- Tens 2009 knowing a lot was expected of them. ing well past bed time. As would be expected ...... The first task was keeping the Weasel Cup in the OWEN FINNEGAN VISITS WALL STREET annual match against the Phuket Viagrabonds or put While in Bangkok, former Wallaby Owen Finnegan succinctly, keep the Weasel Cup bolted to the shelf one of the keynote speakers for Bangkok Lions Celeb- at Wall Street were it has gathered dust for the last rity Dinner, took time to visit Wall Street for a couple two years. Mission accomplished 36-0. The second of beers. He joins a long list rugby celebrities that have challenge was winning the Coffin Dodgers division made the effort to visit Wall Street while they are in of the competition, The silvertails won the their first town. They include; Eric Rush, Dean Richards, Glen game against the Cairns Old Crocs however, they Ella, Bobby Skinstad, Richard Loe, Steve Thompson, were eliminated in the second match, against a pol- John Mitchell, Bob Dwyer and Dilap Kumar. ished outfit from Singapore, the Wanderer Wrinkl- ies.

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

5 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

the mots du captiane COMME CHAQUE ANNEE OMME CHAQUE ANNEE, la troisieme edition de la Banter marque la fin d'un Ctrimestre tres rugbystique. En effet en l'espace d'un mois nous avons enchaine les tournois de Pattaya et de Phuket mais aussi accueuillis l'equipe Sud Africaine des Kriel Roaster. En terme de resultats on peut se vanter de n'etre jamais rentre bredouille. De Pattaya, nous avons ramener la Bowl Cup et de Phuket, le titre qui nous est le plus cher, la Weasel Cup. Phuket qui aura ete une nouvelle fois un tour exeptionnel, preparer et manager par le maitre Soi Dog, qui reussi a loger, deguiser et rassasier plus d'une trentaine de touristes... Du Grant Art !!!! Depuis il a fallu se remettre au travail et rechausser les crampons car pour la premiere fois dans l'histoire du club, nous participerons au T.R.U. Contrairement aux annees precedentes, cette competition se deroulera de mi Juin a mi Juillet, ce qui n'est pas fait pour nous avantager en raison des nombreux departs pour les vacances d'ete. Heureusement on va pouvoir compter ceux qui reste pour relever le defi. En conclusion, pour cet ete, je souhaite de bonnes vacances aux branleurs qui s'en vont et bon courage aux valeureux joueurs qui vont porter bien haut les couleurs des Old Bangkok Bangers. Jeff

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

6 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger Colt Cappie

COLTS CONTINUE TO PROGRESS AT FULL STEAM AHEAD!

HAT A BUSY FEW MONTHS we have the Red and White and Wall Street where we Whad with the Pattaya 10s, a visit from the definitely won the 5th quarter. Kriel Roosters from South Africa and the Phuket Phuket, Phuket or was that 10s. If you add in the preparation for our inaugural New York I forget.... We did run in the TRU league competition it really is verily go forth as a mixed bag of amazing that we can fulfill all of the games with our enthusiasm and age and the Old Bangers Band of Brothers. Boys did win a weasel but Well Pattaya first and a great weekend of Rugby the Colts did not bring played in festival style with the mighty Bangers back anything apart once again making it into the Cup Competition from stitches on this on the Sunday and after a million and one games occasion. A great finally winning the Bowl against our Bangkok tour which will neighbours the British Club. Another trophy but one be remembered cannot help but wish it was the Cup which one day for Committee will be ours! On a personal note this also coincided calamity, with my graduation from spotty youth to 35 and a Frenchness, true Old Boy Banger for which I was truly grateful Singing in the as were the other patrons who witnessed my rain, Bang-a- rainbow show on the Saturday night I am sure..... ho Indians and The Kriel Roosters were next in town on their carefree fun of way to Phuket. This South African team were here the finest vintage. We again made the last 8 out of 24 to win and wanted the opportunity of honing their teams by the way and then slid gracefully from view 10s skills against the best. Unfortunately they were on a balmy Sunday afternoon. busy so we played them. It was a big ask as we The TRU season will soon be upon us and then it will played them at 5pm on a Wednesday afternoon but have gone and we will still be here so come what may still managed to round up about 15 lazy half a day let’s do our best to stick it up em....whoever they may Bangers to give them a good run around eventually be! losing in a 4th quarter before entertaining them at

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

7 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger BURGESS Bangers Get A Reminder Call!

HAT DIFFERENCE IT makes having 15 players on the field! Back to real Rugby was the order last weekend for the Bangers, as we made our debut in the TRU. In what can only be described as a new & interesting chapter for Banger Rugby. Gone was the phonetic fast paced style of 7’s & 10’s to more stately style of 15’s. In the opening game, any chance of “free flowing” enterprising Rugby were dashed from the first whistle, as the referee felt the game was a stage were he could demonstrate his interpretation of the rules, which left many bewildered players & spectators. In both games frustration peaked to new levels as we adapted to 15’s again and struggled to come to grips with the local flavour (& the bias towards local teams). It is clear we must remain calm in the face of adverse decisions & continue to play our style of rugby regardless! Our next game against our old foes the Southerners promises to be an exciting encounter as we do battle for the 33 Challenge Cup currently held by the Bangers. I am confident our “shaky” start in the TRU & ill discipline are behind us as we go into our second game better prepared & tight lipped.

Coach

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

8 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

OFF THE WIRE

LL BLACKS RUGBY LEGEND But after winning 63 caps for his country his top-flight Jonah Lomu is set to sign for career was cut short by a kidney illness that eventually French third division side required a transplant in July 2004. Marseille Vitrolles, the club Subsequently he played for Welsh side Cardiff in announced on its website. 2005/2006 but without any great success after which he “Marseille Vitrolles is on the returned home to play for North Harbour. point of finalising the transfer The Marseille Vitrolles website quoted Lomu as of the greatest legend in world saying: “I took a sabbatical year to be at my pregnant rugby,” a club statement said. partner’s side and to fully enjoy this important moment “Lomu in Marseille, it is the in any man’s life promise of a great story of “Everyone thought I had ended my playing career, but human interest that only rugby that was wrong. I still feel the desire to play and it will can produce and an exciting challenge be me alone who decides when to call it a day. for an exceptional player who has just one thing on “Marseille is the second biggest city in France and it his mind - to help his new club expand,” it added. deserves to have a top rugby side. The club now has The 34-year-old Lomu exploded onto the the means to meet its ambitions and promotion to the international stage at the 1995 World Cup in South second division is the priority for this year. Africa and he went on to become a global superstar “My ambition is to help a club like Marseille join the in the sport as it moved into the professional era. group of top clubs in France.”

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

9 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

Over A Hennie WITH Andy Raming

Editor : Hey Andy. Thought it back a Fairchild F-227 turboprop belonging to the US was about time we chat to one Air Force and carrying the Old Christians rugby team the growing band of Americans plus friends, relatives, and supporters from the States we now have on board, playing crashed near Nana Plaza. The pilot was off course and with the Bangers. the reported location was incorrect, making the task Andy : And there I was, of finding thinking 1 was the only one. the site that Editor : You come from St much more Louis I understand. The city difficult. isn’t exactly a rugby hotbed The survivors however you produce a good ice huddled hockey and baseball team. Any around the explanation for this? fuselage of the plane and Andy : St. Louis is not, not a hot bed for rugby. waited for the Editor : I understand you were not to happy about rescue team the NFL to arrive. Cardinals Night came moving South? and went Andy: I was with no sign of help. Another day came and went and two at the time still no rescuers. What little food aboard the plane was the Cardinals quickly consumed. re-located; Search and rescues teams were sent looking for the I wasn’t to missing plane but they looked along the path where broken up they expected the aircraft to have been, not knowing about it. I knew how badly off course it was when it went down at that time Weeks passed and still no rescue. On the 60th day of though that I would never become the Cardinals their ordeal, two of the stronger survivors decided to starting receiver (I guess I was a little crushed). make an attempt to hike out of Soi Nana to find help. Editor : How many rugby clubs are there in the city Their ordeal was made famous by the movie, The Nana of St Louis ? Conspiracy directed by the notable Thai film maker, Andy: There are currently 7 Clubs, 5 Collegiate Somchai Jones. I swear to you, that’s how I came to teams, and 7 High school teams, 15 Casino’s , and play with the Bangers.. more than 40 Strip Clubs. You tell me what the Editor : The lads will have to get there head around sporting intentions of the town are that yarn. (I report it as it is told me) Where was your Editor : You have been in Bangkok for a while now introduction to rugby in the US ? clearly you seem to be enjoying yourself here Andy: A friend of mine brought me out to one his Andy: So many libraries and fine art gallery’s. practices in High School. My school didn’t have a With all the cultural accoutrements in this city who rugby program. wouldn’t enjoy themselves Editor : What sports did you play at high school and Editor : How did you end in playing rugby with the university? Bangers? Andy : Apart from the casinos and strip clubs back Andy : Have you got a little time ??… A few years home a kid hasn’t much time for anything else. CONTINUE ON PAGE 13

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

10 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

MY SPORTING LIFE STEWART GORMAN : A RUGBY GYPSY

N A COLD February because of our East London roots and would return 1987 morning I headed there to finish off every Saturday night. The next off to watch my first ever person at Wanstead is Trevor Stadhart. Trevor was the rugby match. You could still first Wanstead captain (3rd team) to select me in 1987. stand in Twickenham’s North Trevor is Jamaican and a sign that in years to come Stand then. England versus Jamaica would feature in my rugby CV. France, England lost Last but not least is Micky Adams, an unmistakable something like 21-15 and I figure at Wanstead. Micky took me under his wing bought a £3.50 ticket for £20 when we were in charge of the second team and not pounds and life would never really knowing how to achieve what we set out to do. be the same. Unlike football Our policy of get ‘em drunk coupled with my inspiring my sport until then you could pre match team talk of “give 100% lads and enjoy have fun in defeat too. yourselves” was excellent but needed like minded Three months after attending my first rugby match people. I got a taste of playing. Someone who drank in my Every week we got 13 like minded players who local organized a mini tournament involving the fitted the criteria of no matter the result week in team I played football for and his rugby team. We week out enjoyment was the number one priority played rugby one week, football the next and had with no-one being criticized for any mistakes or cricket as a decider on the third week. This was a wrong decisions. We adhered to that for the two bad move for the football team because at the start full seasons I was captain except for one occasion of the next season six footballers were playing and I’m sorry to say it was me who broke that rugby for Wanstead and no rugby players had rule but that’s a story for another day. We had a switched to football. winning season and by November were the envy of I had a ball at Wanstead. The 2nd oldest rugby the rest of the club club in Essex with a tradition for being close knit. The Bangers were only a twinkle in Trevor Day’s eye Our Colts sent Damien Cronin to our close rivals at the time so I’ll admit to playing for the Southerners Ilford because we had enough second rows. He at outside centre when I first came to Bangkok in 1997. owes us big time as he went on from Ilford to play There are two other Bangers I remember from those for Scotland many times. I made great friends at days who played for the Southerners. The real highlight Wanstead and it’s impossible to mention them all though is not a rugby one but meeting my wife Jintana but three stand outs Martin Johnson, Jason Leonard through work at the Embassy. I never let her know and Lawrence Dallaglio that because she thinks my rugby is more important to I owe a great deal to Adam Stiff (Mada Ffits) for me and I make it a policy of never liking to prove her suggesting rugby to me in the first place. He was wrong! my captain of vice (in charge of the beer jug) when Returning to Wanstead in 1997 I became a regular we ran the second team for two seasons between second team flanker In those days we played left and 1992-1994 and was part of a small squad along right because no one was quick enough to play open with Trevor Burns that for more than a decade side in the seconds. I managed break into the first team made every Saturday night during the rugby twice in that position. season a memorable one. We were part of a group By the summer of 2000 I thought my playing days were affectionately known as the Brick Lane Mafia

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

11 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

coming to an end as I was turning into the utility by far the best I have player every club needs but one I did not want. One seen. The training in the week full back for the fourths, next week first team lead up to matches is also 2nd row. the most enjoyable I’ve Fortunately my wander lust came true and in done. It was a surprise to October 2000 went to work in Jamaica. On arrival be named Banger of the my first achievement was to sign for the Jamaica Year but an honour that I Old Boys (the Old Crocs). A great bunch of blokes will always treasure. To who think like Kiwi refs in that there is no such paraphrase Hughie Green thing as a forward pass provided your intention was I mean this most sincerely to pass it back. Their club rule was no drinking a folks I’d like to thank beer from the bottle. If you committed this heinous every player I have played crime you paid the bill at the end of the night. A rugby with both team mates and opponents because if it was not for you guys my world would be less enjoyable and certainly less entertaining. I’ll finish with a true story that reflects the true nature of grass roots rugby. At Wanstead one of our number 8s was being singled out by a referee for various minor misdemeanours but by all accounts the ref himself was having a nightmare of a game and knew it. In the second half after another decision had gone against him our No. 8 said “Hey ref what would you do if I called you a ***!” The ref replied “I’d send you off of course”. Wanstead’s No. 8 persisted rule that anyone only broke once knowing the Old “What would you do if I thought you was a ***!” Crocs craving for a Red Stripe or two! We entered The referee paused a moment before saying “well an annual tournament in Cayman but Jamaica being there’s nothing I could do if you thought it” Jamaica were an amenable shambles. With a triumphant gleam in his eye the reply came I also put in the occasional guest appearance for the “Well in that case I think you are a ***!” Sharks (they now play Rugby League), local lads The referee saw the funny side. I don’t think anyone who trained with the Old Crocs and helped them knows the result of the game but that story is over win their RU league in 2001 by beating their nearest thirty years old and still running. rivals. I’ve got the medal to prove it. The Sharks had seen me train and had no doubts about my Rugby Playing & Drinking Career stamina because their captain’s invitation to play • 1987-96 Wanstead RFC - Fondest Memory - Jugs of lager and went something like this “Stewart would you turn bottles of Molson • 1996 - 97 Southerners RFC - Fondest Memory - Heineken and up for us on Saturday, we are short (in numbers and Jintana (the wife) height) but don’t worry we’ll do all your running” • 1997 - 2000 Wanstead RFC - Fondest Memory - Guinness and “After Jamaica I went to Angola where there bottles of port • 2000 - 03 Jamaica Old Boys - Fondest Memory - Red Stripe was no contact rugby. It took nine months to and Appleton’s Rum find some touch rugby. The French oil company • 2004 - 06 Luanda Barbarians - Fondest Memory - The flight Total managed to book a red ochre football pitch out for a couple of hours Wednesday nights. It might • 2007 - ???? Bangkok Bangers - Fondest Memory - Heineken not sound much but it was heaven at the time.” with more to come. And now here I am at my fifth club the Old Bangkok Bangers. The facilities this club has are

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

12 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

Editor : Your CONTINUE FROM PAGE 1O coach tells How am I suppose to interpret that? me you are Andy :THE COACH DOESN’T KNOW HIS ASS very strong FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND!!!! Who the defensively f#&% is Trevor? and have a Editor : Hit a nerve there!!!!. Lets change the high work subject matter. Do you have any plans to go back rate on the and live in States? paddock? Andy: One way, or another Mike. Andy : Much obliged Mike. Pete is a man of his words, who calls Editor : Andy, Thanks for your time. You have it like he see’s it. added a lot to the club since you been here. Now, how about a beer Editor : He also said you “had hands like Trevor” Andy : Good One

THE WALL OF KNOWLEDGE

COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO I passed by the • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not Wall of Knowledge on the way to the toilet walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not with the infamous spitting tap, There was the usual walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. gaggle of members, players, pretenders, interlopers • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a and know-it-alls gathered around the Wall with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre. Heineken securely in hand, • Never test the depth of the water with both feet. with the powerful motivation • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to to get the final word in on the serve as a warning to others. subject under discussion. The • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try Wall of Knowledge patrons missing a couple of credit card payments. Wall of Knowledge Members 1926 are not good listeners. • Before you criticise someone, you should walk a It was the weekend of the Super 14 final, so there mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise was a lot at stake, or so they thought. The issue was, them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes. whether the referee was going to have an impact • If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for on the game, a popular conversational point in you. rugby watering holes around the planet. Referees • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach these days are more visual than their peers from him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink yesteryear. Rugby has changed and it could be beer all day. argued that it is no longer sport but entertainment. • If you lend someone 500 baht, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. With all the wire hanging off a ref these days, • If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember Michael Jackson - RIP - would not have looked out anything. of place in the center with a whistle. • If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people. As we know the Bull thrashed the Chiefs. And • Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a the referee had a quiet day. The thrashing was lot of that comes from bad judgment. so comprehensive that the Wall of Knowledge • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it went quiet, until the next topic arose. About 20 in half and put it back in your pocket. seconds......

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

13 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

LET ME EXPLAIN THE NEW ELV’s

I, AND WELCOME TO the 3rd edition of rolling substitutions at defined levels of the Game, HMy Whistle for 2009. There has been so much another bonus for our more senior or rugby played since I last put pen to paper! larger players! And finally, a Union By the time you read this, the Pattaya and Phuket may implement the Under 19 International 10’s will have been and gone, the Scrum Law Variation at a defined Bangers first forray into the TRU competition will level of the Game under its have taken place, the British and Irish Lions 2009 jurisdiction. Tour to South Africa will have been won and lost So there you have it, the ELV’s (don’t know by who at the time of writing), plus are not dead (apart from 3), but numerous other internationals all over the globe are now fully implemented into the will have taken place. You might have thought that Law. This whole process started all this rugby would have been played under those way back in 2004 would you dreaded ELV’s and of course you’d be wrong! believe! Finally on 23 May 09, the IRB ratified the Has it made rugby recommendations made by the IRB Rugby better? I’m sure you’ll Committee and approved 10 of the 13 global all have your differing views. Whatever they may be, ELV’s for adoption into the Laws of the Game. it’s something to fuel debate over a couple of beers The recommendations were unanimously approved and that has to be a good thing! and the integrated set of Laws was implemented The following ELVs are to be adopted into Law: globally from May 23, or from the start of the next Law 6 – Assistant Referees able to assist Referees in domestic season where competitions transcend the any way the Referee requires implementation date. Law 19 – If a team puts the ball back in their own 22 So what does that mean for us grass roots type and the ball is subsequently kicked directly into touch clubs, players and supporters?.....oh and refs! there is no gain in ground Well, for those playing in the TRU competition Law 19 – A quick throw may be thrown in straight or which has just started, you should all be playing towards the throwing team’s goal line to the 10 ELV’s that have been implemented with Law 19 – The receiver at the lineout must be two metres effect from 23 May 09. Any other games should be back away from the lineout played under the full set of ELV’s until the start of Law 19 – The player who is in opposition to the player the next season. However I think in reality all that throwing in the ball must stand in the area between the the Bangers are involved in will be played under five metre line and touch line and must be two metres the newly implemented Laws. from the line of touch and at least two metres from the In addition to the suite of global ELVs, three lineout Union-specific ELVs were also approved for Law 19 – Lineout players may pre-grip a jumper before integration into Law. These include the ability the ball is thrown in for a Union to implement a maximum 15-minute Law 19 – The lifting of lineout jumpers is permitted half time in matches under its jurisdiction. Quite Law 20 – Introduction of an offside line five metres handy in the temperatures we often need to play in, behind the hindmost feet of the Scrum in Bangkok! This does not apply to international Law 20 – Scrum half offside line at the Scrum matches however. Unions may implement Law 20 – The corner posts are no longer considered to be touch in goal except when the ball is grounded

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

14 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

against the post 2. No pulling down of the maul anymore! Note I said So that’s what is in, anyone out there workout ‘pulling down’ and not ‘collapsing’. Collapsing was what’s out? OK, Let me help. actually illegal even under the ELV’s! But never mind, 1. We are back to the throwing in team determining you can forget all of that now, both pulling down and the numbers of players in the line out and the non- collapsing the Maul, is not allowed. throwing in team being given a reasonable amount 3. The final ELV that is didn’t get implemented into of time to comply. Which means us poor refs are the Law is the reference to do with joining a maul with back to counting numbers at the line out and we your shoulders lower than your hips. A bizzare position return to the endless shouts of “Numbers ref!” Even to get into, but there you go, don’t do it (even if you if it would actually be to your advantage to shut up could!). and let us award you the free-kick!

RUGBY NEWS

BATH TRIO RESIGN OVER BAR BRAWL SCANDAL

ATH RUGBY PLAYERS Michael Lipman, before the hearing could take place. Alex Crockett and Andrew Higgins resigned England flanker Lipman, 29, and Crockett, 27, were from the club with immediate effect on Monday Bath’s joint captains. after a probe into an alleged bar brawl. Australia’s Bob Calleja, the club’s CEO, said in a statement: Bath lock Justin Harrison, another who had been “Michael Lipman, Alex Crockett and Andrew Higgins alleged to be involved in the disturbance, has since had been required to appear at an internal disciplinary announced his retirement from rugby. hearing today to address the failure on three occasions Reports last month claimed that several Bath to take a drugs test following allegations surrounding players had been involved in a fight with rival player conduct on Sunday May 10. players from Harlequins at a Fulham pub in London “Immediately before the hearings were due to on May 10, just 24 hours after both sides had been take place the players resigned from the club with eliminated from the Premiership play-offs. immediate effect. The lurid stories also suggested there had been “The club regards this as an internal matter and intends drug-taking at the end of season party. to make no further comment.” Bath launched an immediate investigation and Bath have been hit by a recent drugs scandal after Lipman, Crockett and Higgins were due to appear England international prop Matt Stevens received a at a hearing into the incident, but all three quit two-year ban following a positive test earlier in the season.

THAI RUGBY YOUTH PROGRAM THAI YOUTH RUGBY PROGRAM

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

15 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

Banger Resident Chef and Food Technologist TASTE IS OK BUT…ERRR!

UST ABOUT EVERY DAY we have Doctors, Imagine 94 ingredients laid out on a table in front of Dieticians and anybody who thinks they have you…and its only a can of soup for crying out loud!! an inkling about food tell us that we need to eat Even the humble can of Spaghetti in Tomato Sauce has more healthy foods. This is all very good but not been spared the bucket chemistry mentality with unfortunately its easier said than done. For a list of twenty five bits and pieces thrown together example; as I write this column of enlightenment, I inside the can. am happily munching away on a chocolate bar. It is Enough of reading can labels, I figured that you can’t a very popular brand of chocolate bar but I’m not do much to stuff up natural, uncooked frozen food, so, sure if it fits into the healthy category. Browsing into the freezer I went and picked up a slab of pre- through the ingredient list on the side of the packet packed meat. I looked at the ingredient list, which was there are no less than twenty ingredients listed, of basically a bunch of numbers situated in a very small which emulsifiers and stabilizers account for eight space on the side of the pack and…HOLY SH@$%.! of them…so, my thinking is that maybe it doesn’t The numbers sound harmless enough, as they would, but the following list translates what these numbers mean in plain language – (if you can guess what this lump of meat is before you get to the end of the list I will be most impressed.!) Meat (61%); Water; Salt; Maltodextrin; Mineral Salts [451-Sodium Tripolyphosphate, 450-Disodium Diphosphate, 452-Potassium Polyphosphate]; Soy Protein; Sugar; Starch; Acidity Regulator [500-Sodium Sesquicarbonate]; Antioxidants [316-Sodium Erythorbate, 331-Sodium Citrate]; Stabilizers [412-Guar Gum, 415-Xanthan Gum]; Preservative [250-Sodium quite fit into the healthy category. Nitrite]; Color [124-Ponceau 4R]. (By the way, Having aroused my curiosity, I wandered into the Ponceau 4R is an illegal additive in the United States). kitchen to browse the labels of some of the canned Would you believe that this lump of meat was actually foods I keep on hand for those occasions when labeled as CORNED BEEF. Its a terrible thought that I’m too bloody lazy to cook something decent. we pay top dollar in Thailand for imported goods, Well, I didn’t have to look far, in front of me was which in this instance, contains 39% rubbish. It should a can of famous brand soup. The label tells me be no surprise that the taste and texture of this lump of its Baked Potato with Cheddar and Bacon Bits meat-like substance was as appalling which sounds bloody fantastic. I turned the can So, to all you Bangers, if you are on a health kick, it is around to the ingredient list and all of a sudden I a good idea to read the ingredient list before you buy wondered whatever possessed me to buy this crap. anything, otherwise, my advice to you for you to be It is quite unbelievable, The main ingredients and able to enjoy your next pre-packaged food item… ingredients that contain traces of other ingredients is a staggering Ninety Four…yes, 94 ingredients.! DON’T READ THE LABEL.!

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

16 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

Phuket International Ten’s 2010 The Old Boys and Colts at the the recent rugby tournament in Phuket. One of the tour highlights of the Banger year. The Thai children the Old Bangkok Bangers sponsor through the Asia Centre Foundation. were at the stadium over the weekend.

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

17 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

SWEeT SPOT Clubhouse Foxy - The Banger Golf Facilitator Rick O’Shea

LANNING IS UNDERWAY organising ALL STREET WAS visited by the Kriel Pthe next Banger Golf Tournament. Expect WRoosters team from South Africa. Sometimes something different this year. A Magical Mystery you wonder what these boys eat. Some massive guys Tour springs to mind. More about this shortly, One there. The Bangers played them in a friendly for a thing I can guarantee there will be a few suprises. warm up match for the Pattaya 10’s The yarpies ran Old Bangkok Bangers just love suprises...... out winners in the last quarter. The Lions hosted their • A recently retired Banger bought a set of golf celebrity dinner on the 6th June. The Clubrooms had clubs Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the a visit from Owen Finnegan, ex Wallaby enforcer. He local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew was a guest speaker at the dinner. Rather a pussy off the nothing whatever of the game. field but would hate to meet him on the field. He had The pro showed him the stance and swing, then a few “encounters” with Jerry Collins in his playing said, “Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first days. The Bangers have entered for the tour to Cape green.” Town next year for the Vintage Rugby Tournament. The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight Anybody interested in this trip of a lifetime please see down the fairway and onto the green, where it me. After years of negotiating to get a team in the Thai stopped inches from the hole. “Now what ?” the Rugby Union competition, the Bangers suddenly end fellow asked the speechless pro. up with two teams in the competition. “Uh... you’re supposed to hit the ball into the cup.” The Bazil and Boris Riding Academy now use Wall the pro finally said, after he was able to speak Street as their clubrooms. Their big Anzac week ride again. went exceptionally well with no incidents throughout “Oh great ! so NOW you tell me.” said the the trip. The HD’s managed to.keep up with the Jap beginner in a disgusted tone boys. A HOG trip is planned in October.

• After a bad round of golf, Robert decided not to go into the clubhouse and go straight home. As he was walking to the car park to get his Range Rover, a policeman stopped him and asked’, Did you tee off on the seventeenth hole about twenty minutes ago?’ ‘Yes’, Robert answered ‘Did you happen to slice your ball so that it went over the trees and out of bounds and completely off the golf course?’ ‘Yes, I did. How did you know?’ Robert questioned. ‘Well’, said the policeman gravely’, Your golf ball flew out onto the main road and smashed he windscreen of a BMW. The car driver lost control and crashed into six other cars and a fire engine. The fire engine was unable to reach the fire in time and the building burned down. Now, what do you intend to do about it?’ Robert thought carefully and responded’, I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.’

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

18 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

Chris Kays Memorial Rugby Tens The Colts travelled down to the Pattaya for this popular seaside Rugby Tens. The lads brought back silverware and found time to party big time in the traditional Banger style

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

19 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

T IS AN ESTABLISHED fact that the positions of the planets at one’s birth control and guide one’s destiny. The following will assist you in understanding and accepting your heaven-decreed I personality and your rugby playing traits. Bangers, your game is in the stars! Read on......

Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 20): A disciplinarian, the typical reality, Leos won’t play in a match because they are Aries personality comes to the fore during practice, little cowards who can’t hack it. When referees, Leos and when made a team captain he wears down all insist on being addressed as “sir” and demand plaques, the forwards with continuous sprinting exercises. cups and other awards and presentations. The player who constantly shouts is undoubtedly Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sep. 22): Virgo the Virgin; this is the an Aries. Other signs hope the Aries voice gives out sign of the prissy, goody two-shoes fuss bag who but it never does. (And if it does he has a whistle objects to swearing, smoking and any lineout contact to carry on.) Aries natives usually get their heads whatsoever. Needless to say, they couldn’t tackle to stamped on in rucks. save their lives. The Virgo player is therefore usually Taurus (Apr. 21 - May 20): The sign of the prop found playing back positions - usually fly-half or forward. Stubborn, bullish and forceful, the typical fullback. (But Virgo natives born under less than Taurean would butt his way through a thick oaken auspicious planetary positions often become hookers.) door to get to a beer. People born under this sign Natives of this sign iron creases in their shorts and usually smell like animals, challenging the ability wear hair gel during matches. Percy Montgomery is a of the second row to bind into the scrum without Virgo. keeling over from the fumes. Taureans may be Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): The sign of gender benders playing in other positions, but they belong in the - that player in the women’s XV who looks and acts front row. With rings in their noses. Os du Randt is suspiciously like a man is no doubt a Libra. And that a Taurus. effete guy in the men’s club who spends a lot of time in the showers is probably a Libra, too. Do you tackle Gemini (May 21 - June 20): The sign of the second row; two gallant players who must bind together them or not? Do you want to get in a scrum with one, to provide the awesome pushing power that is the let alone hoist one by the shorts in a line out? Players engine room of the scrum. Gemini natives are ideal born under this sign cause a lot of confusion in the players, and impress others with their manliness, game. Homeric size and all-around sociability in the after- Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22): In many ways the worst match parties. Gemini is obviously the best zodiac of the lot. Scorpio natives are control fanatics and sign for rugby just as second row is obviously the are usually found barking orders to other players all best position in rugby. during the game, whether they are team captains or not. Persons under this sign are often found in the smoke- Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Cancer is the sign of the crab. Therefore, Cancerians should always filled, dimly-lit headquarters of regional, national and bring talcum powder to matches to avoid crotch international rugby football unions, raising club dues itch, otherwise their constant scratching makes and issuing ultimatums about player certifications. The them look just like chimpanzees. Cancers usually guy who introduced professionalism to the game of complain a lot and leave practice early, to the relief rugby was undoubtedly a Scorpio. of others. Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21): People born under this sign think themselves versatile but are really a pain. Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Napoleon was a Leo, and those born under this sign think they have his Sometimes they’re flankers, sometimes centers. It goes military skills and charisma. They therefore become without saying they do neither especially well. (The referees, coaches and blustering Old Boys. In only thing keeping them from playing prop is fear

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

20 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

and panic.) They feel no sense of club solidarity, either, and are often found at matches offering their dubious service as rugby whores. The Sagittarius A HEALTHY BANGER rarely wears the same club jersey twice in a row, and must be able to memorize many sets of lineout ABY BOOMERS and rugby players have codes. something in common: Pain. If you can’t play in pain,B you can’t be a member of either team. Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): The sign of the goat, Capricorns are filthy and disgusting. The typical I don’t know about anyone else, but I am getting to the habitat of this type is the muddy patch invariably point where I have at least one thing bothering me at all found in front of the goalposts, or in the very center times. of the pitch. During the after-match parties, the Feeling my pain? Have you gotten to native of this sign can be found sitting by himself where, if there isn’t something wrong in a booth with spilled food strewn all around. with you when you wake up in the Capricorns always have stains on their jerseys. If morning you feel like you see a player walk over to the edge of the pitch something’s wrong with during a lull in the game, belch, pass gas and hoik you? Join the club. snot out of his nose while wives, sweethearts and I wish I could say my children look on, you’ve found a Capricorn. injuries were the result of Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 19): The water bearer; most manly man pursuits, rugby Aquarians are utterly useless on the pitch and fit or drinking a lot of beer. I can’t. only to fetch the water during half-time. This is Which is not to say I don’t have manly the sign of the career field officer. If you see a guy man injuries. spending a lot of time fetching things like cones and For example, last year I had a line-making equipment but never ever playing in shoulder injury rotator-cuff problem. an actual match, chances are he’s an Aquarius. The Unfortunately, the similarity ends there. While most the Aquarius native is also skilled at walking into the rugby injuries stem from athletic competition, I hurt my goal posts and stumbling into others during practice. shoulder at what you might call athletic competition at These people are why liability insurance is so the lowest level ... sleeping. important in rugby. I’m not kidding. I slept on my shoulder the wrong way Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20): Since this is the sign of one night and woke up unable to lift my arm over my the fish, Pisces natives always reek after matches. head. I’m out of pain now, but it took six months. But due to a misplaced sense of rugged manliness I also tore cartilage in my knee jogging on a grass - or the fact that they cannot convince women to track. Oh, and check this one out, I once developed marry them, let alone do their laundry - they refuse tendinitis in my thumb trying to watch too many things to properly wash their kits and therefore smell all on television at the same time. the time. They usually insist on hanging around Additionally, I have been injured sneezing and getting and talking extensively to any good-looking babes up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. who have wandered by to watch the match, causing Now, I don’t know about women, but if you are a man, women to avoid games altogether. Nobody wants to there is no way you can explain how a typical baby be in a maul or a scrum with a Piscean. boomer injury occurred and still retain a modicum of self-respect. Seriously, you’re going to tell the lads that you pulled a hamstring taking out the rubbish? I don’t think so. It’s more likely you’re going to say it happened during an ultimate fighting match, or sking down Mount Everest or engaging in tantric sex. When you get to be a baby boomer, even the truth hurts.

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

21 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

Contact Cris Dunning for Further Details

The Sideline Eye

HERE ARE TIMES when we need to sit back sit in our drinking establishment of choice, and become Tand take stock of where we are and where we critical of a teams performance. are headed. Sometimes we leave it to No one likes a politician and everyone thinks they chance or sometimes we strive to could do better. Being a critic is very different than make it happen. Either way we being critical. Enough said. never know the outcome and are Remember the Sideline Eye is always watching. often surprised by the result. Sitting on the rugby sidelines can be just as exhausting as actually playing, Sure, your not taking the hits, but you can always see what could and should have been. If GIFT VOUCHER only he would have passed, kicked, taken the tackle, set the ball up. I think we are all experts when it comes to commenting on the game What I don't agree with, is the abusive way some of us vent our frustrations on the team, the coach and of course the referee.YOU FU%$KING IDIOT, WHAT A DICK HEAD etc etc The players and others, that bring to us the action should be respected for

putting up with our scrutiny week in week out by the CHRIS HARTLEY armchair critics. We are never viewed by millions on TV, written Player of the Tournament about in the judgemental media. All we do is simply International/Seafood Buffet for Two

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

22 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

BANGER Humour

A WELSH LAD once. A Welsh lad came home from school and told his The lawyer asked, “What’s the problem Dick. Why are mother he had been given a part in the school play. in so much hurry?” ‘Wonderful, ‘replies his mother, ‘what part is it?’ Dick: “I want to hit that adulterant bitch for breach of The boy says, ‘I play the part of the Welsh contract,” husband.’ The lawyer: “I don’t know if that will be OK,” “I mean The mother scowls and says, ‘Go back and tell your wife isn’t a piece of property, you don’t own her!” your teacher you want a speaking part.’ Dick: “You right advocate, but I had expected exclusive drilling rights A REALLY BAD DAY There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his STAGES OF DRUNKENESS drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. 0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps bayonet. next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just 1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The well-being. truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. 2 - Beer warming up head. Finger food ordered. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse. to see a man cry.” 3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while “No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my blanks are filled with random letters and numbers. life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. 4 - Barmaid complimented again. Try to instigate My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the conversation. Order more finger food. building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The 5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left out the British Irish Lions defense problems. my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver 6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on just drives away.” napkin. “I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife 7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out and send message to this bar. And just when I was thinking about napkins to lady. Boyfriend asks you outside. putting an end to my life, you show up and drink 8 - Some slurring. Offer to shout a round. Fall over. my poison.” Get up. 9 - Head-ache kicks in. Think about popping a couple THE CARBURETTOR of asprin “The car won’t start,” aid a wife to her husband. “I 10 - Some doubling of vision. Fall over. Get up. Fall think there’s water in the carburettor.” over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice “How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. oozing head wound. “You don’t even know what the carburettor is.” Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage “I’m telling you,” repeated the wife, “I’m sure 11 - to find the door. Sit and take stock. Realize you have there’s water in the carburettor.” taken the wrong door and you are out in the back alley “We’ll see,” mocked the husband. “Let me check it 12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. out. Where’s the car?” Taken home. Can’t get key in door. Realize you’ve “In the swimming pool.” given the wrong address. Generally pleased at way DRILLING RIGHTS evening has gone. Pass out Dick Graham, an oil businessman, went to the chamber of a reputed lawyer. He wanted divorce proceedings against his young bride to begin at

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

23 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY

THE GREAT COMEBACK

HIS COULD BE BASED on the Lions’ courage in the previous two Tests and that they played by far the better rugby, but sport pays no attention to sentiment and you cannot say the Springboks did not deserve their victories because they summoned the will and found the way to win. The reason the Lions deserved this win was that, unlike in the second Test, they refused to allow their opponents back into the game after they started with far more cohesion and purpose. Had they not been able to subsume their bitter disappointments and failed again they would have deserved nothing; not for all their undoubted bravery and commitment. IRB must act on armband protest Those who shouted loudest the previous weekend, that any most joy. It is unlikely that we will see again the centre adverse comment after defeat was whinging, have partnership of Brian O’Driscoll and Jamie Roberts. been quickest to claim the Lions beat a Springbok It goes now into legend; joining other temporary second XV. They forget their pre-match supremacist combinations such as Fran Cotton, Bobby Windsor boasting that their reserves were better than the and Graham Price. The sweetness of their fleeting best the northern hemisphere could offer. Also, brilliance may be heightened by brevity, but its passing that many knowledgeable South African observers is inevitably tinged with regret. thought the multiple changes strengthened their team, particularly in the centres where the Lions Cold analysis of the Lions concept must conclude had unarguably been superior. that the strictures of the professional era make accomplishment more difficult. It was hugely Unfortunately for the Lions’ players and entourage, important for the Lions to end a run of seven defeats, they are aware that within their own hands lay to demonstrate that these difficulties are capable of the outcome of all three Tests; it will haunt them being surmounted. No sporting entity can survive for many years and some will say it would have where there is no possibility of it beating its opponent; been preferable to have had no chance of a victory. the taking part is not enough. Therein is demonstrated the difference between the participant and the spectator. The benefits gained by the players as a result of being part of a Lions tour are real. These mean not only the The latter would not swap the thrills of the last individuals private memories, they will return better three weeks for any other form of loss. The former sportsmen. The four home unions must find a way will take little from the remarkable tension and through the tortuous corridors of conflicting interest to excitement, for their loss is personal, not vicarious. give the maximum possible time and hence chance, for The Lions’ players know that their results are now future Lions teams to succeed. part of the Lions’ story; to be compared with those preceding and succeeding. More than anything, this tour has reasserted traditional Lions values and ways. It should have conclusively The greatest sadness of a Lions tour comes buried the aberrations that made up the dreadful 2005 paradoxically from the things which produce the New Zealand tour and we should all be grateful for that

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

24 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009 You Will Always Be A Banger

A RUGBY YARN

fashion the tour headed for its club house away from T WAS TIME AGAIN to take the annual home. The evening was spent quietly discussing line Ipilgrimage to Phuket. This year being older and out calls and miss moves in preparation for the next wiser we decided to send a reconnaissance party days clash with the mighty Viagrabonds. All to soon it ahead of the main group was 9.45 and time for the team to head for home for a to find suitable training well deserved slumber. facilities for the team and organize tours of the local Up with the lark the next morning for the normal pre Wats as a cultural pick breakfast training session followed by a light breakfast me up. Time spend in of musli and carrot juice .Then off to the stadium. reconnaissance is seldom Game faces on we arrived to the raptures of the sell out wasted and the four strong crowd. Time to defend the Weasle Cup. recon party soon had Straight from the opening kick off the finely tuned everything in hand and athletics thundered down the pitch to retrieve the ball, a suitable sites observed. couple of re cycles later and the opening score was had. The same result was achieved after the second kick off The main party led by and the boys had their tails up. the unflappable Soi Dog arrived at the hotel in fine After such a opening salvo the Viagrabonds where form on the Thursday evening suitable attired in clearly shell shocked so the Bangers brought on touring shirt and “chang “hat. To keep fitness up the secret weapon our 60 year old chairmen just aerobics took part on the bus from the airport thanks to dishearten the opposition. The scoring went on to the efforts of DJ Eric. relentlessly and by the final whistle the total was 36 to Having sorted rooms out and unpacked in orderly a valiant 0.The Weasle Cup was safely retained.

The Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club Are Sponsored By The Following Fine Companies

25 Banger Banter JULY - SEPTEMBER 2009

THANK THE FOLLOWING SPONSORS FOR THEIR SUPPORT

SUPPORT YOUR CLUB SPONSORS