Torn: the story of a Lithuanian migrant By Grazina Pranauskas MA, Faculty of Arts, Deakin University, Geelong. BA (Hons), Faculty of Arts, Deakin University, Geelong. BA, Major Studies in Journalism Studies and Literary Studies, Faculty of Arts, Deakin University, Geelong. BMus. in Choral Conducting, Conservatorium of Music, Vilnius, Lithuania. Submitted in fulfillment of the requirements for the Doctor of Philosophy, College of Arts, Victoria University, Melbourne, 24 November 2014. Abstract This doctorate consists of two parts: a novel Torn and the exegesis: Writing the migrant story: nostalgia, identity and belonging. The novel and theoretical exegesis are intended to complement each other in capturing the 20th century Lithuanian historical and political circumstances that led to Lithuanian emigration to Australia. In my novel and exegesis, my intention has been to explore how the experiences of Lithuanian refugees and migrants differ, especially in relation to nostalgia, identity and belonging, depending on the time and circumstances of their arrival in Australia. Lithuanians came to Australia from the same place geographically, but from a different place in terms of history and politics. My novel is a creative representation of the Lithuanian migrants’ experience in the diaspora. It is set in the 1980s and 90s when the political, socio-economic and cultural environment radically shifted under Mikhail Gorbachev’s policy of perestroika (restructure). Daina, a theatre producer from Soviet Lithuania, comes to Australia to look after her great-uncle, Algis. As a postwar Lithuanian refugee, settled here since the 1940s, Algis has strong views about his Soviet-occupied homeland and its people. He lets Daina know that he hates anything associated with Russia and Russians who, in his opinion, were responsible for killings and deportations of Lithuanians during the war. Daina keeps her diary and writes short stories to escape her uninviting surroundings and the postwar Lithuanian characters’ suspicion of why did she come. She struggles to accept loss of her professional status and fractured relationships with men. This, together with her realisation that she is not being accepted in the Australian-Lithuanian community, shatters her sense of belonging and intensifies her nostalgia for homeland. After six years, she returns to Lithuania to discover that the “home” she yearned for all that time is no longer there. Torn is the story of a Soviet Lithuanian citizen’s life in Australia, it is a story that has not been previously told in fiction. In the exegesis, my aim has been to reflect on the diversity of genres dealing with nostalgia, identity and belonging, that range from historical sources to autobiographical 2 and journalistic accounts, to the novel writing. This helped me to develop a dialogue between the non-fictional to fictional genres, and to contribute to creative scholarship. In this doctorate, my aim has been to capture the significance of leaving a homeland for another country, the way this interrupts the familiarity of identity and fractures sense of belonging that does not allow migrants to reconcile with their past. 3 Declaration I, Grazina Pranauskas, declare that the PhD thesis entitled Torn: the story of a Lithuanian migrant is no more than 100,000 words in length including quotes and excluding bibliography, references and footnotes. This thesis contains no material that has been submitted previously, in whole or in part, for the award of any other academic degree or diploma. Except where otherwise indicated, this thesis is my own work. Signature Date: 24 November 2014 4 Acknowledgements I wish to thank my supervisor, Dr Enza Gandolfo of Victoria University, Melbourne, for her patience and ongoing support throughout the writing process of my novel. I am grateful to my second supervisor, Dr Karina Smith of Victoria University, Melbourne, for her encouragement and guidance through the writing of the exegesis. I also wish to thank both Enza and Karina for our combined meetings that helped me to integrate the creative and theoretical parts of my novel in the most engaging way. I am also grateful to Prof Ron Adams for his ongoing moral support and encouragement. I wish to thank my work colleagues Nimity James, Catherine Malcolm and Jane Berkley for reading and providing valuable comments on earlier drafts of the novel. Without the assistance and guidance of everyone who helped me, from correcting to providing constructive criticism and advice, this thesis could not have been completed. Many thanks to each and everyone. Finally, I am grateful to Peter, my husband, for his patience, understanding and moral support throughout the preparation, research, writing and completion of the thesis process. Grazina Pranauskas 5 Table of contents Abstract 2 Declaration 4 Acknowledgements 5 Torn: the story of a Lithuanian migrant, novel 7 Writing the migrant story: nostalgia, identity and belonging, exegesis 209 Introduction Constructing my PhD novel 210 Chapter 1 Politicised identities in twentieth-century Lithuania 225 Chapter 2 Writing Torn – the migrant writer 243 Chapter 3 Migrant women’s voices in Australia 256 Chapter 4 Writing about history and place 267 Conclusion 279 Bibliography 284 6 Torn: the story of a Lithuanian migrant Novel 7 1986 Daina had been walking towards the departure gates when she bumped into Toivo. ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked. ‘Came to say goodbye,’ he replied. Daina blushed. ‘I wish I was going with you, keeping you company. It’s such a long journey.’ ‘I’ll be fine,’ Daina said. ‘I’m worried you’ll never return,’ he said, looking into the distance, his hands tightly squeezed into his pockets. ‘I wonder why that would worry you. You’ll have plenty of fun without me,’ she said in one breath, trying to catch the expression in his light green eyes partly hidden behind his spectacles. Toivo took her hand and kissed her fingertips; she felt his soft moustache against her skin. Daina withdrew her hand and adjusted her unruly, ash-blond hair. He spoke in Russian with an Estonian accent. She didn’t understand Estonian and he didn’t speak Lithuanian. Russian was the only language they had in common. ‘I have nothing to hide.’ ‘Who was the girl you were with yesterday then? I saw you!’ ‘When? How?’ ‘Simple. I went to the university to look for you. I wanted to surprise you, and to say goodbye. But you were busy...’ ‘You didn’t tell me you were coming. I thought you were arriving by plane from Vilnius this morning.’ ‘I changed my mind and caught the train,’ she said, trying to suppress her anger, biting her lip. ‘Who is she?’ ‘Believe me, Daina, it was nothing. She is a good friend, a fellow student.’ ‘What’s her name?’ ‘Larisa, but let’s not talk about it, please. She’s not important.’ ‘How old is she?’ ‘Twenty-four, like you and I. Please don’t mention her. You are leaving soon and there is so much to say.’ ‘In two hours I will board the plane,’ Daina said. 8 ‘You know I only have eyes for you. You were my Altay Mountain companion and I’ll never forget you,’ he said. ‘Please write to me.’ ‘I’ll think about it,’ she replied, feeling more relaxed, but still curious about his relationship with Larisa. ‘And don’t stay too long, please.’ ‘Sure. Just six months with my great-uncle or even less if I don’t like it.’ ‘How can you not like Australia? I have heard people there keep kangaroos and koalas as pets, and rosellas wake them up in the morning.’ ‘And they have fruit we can’t get here, like fresh mangos and figs,’ she added. ‘And you may eat marzipan,’ he teased her. ‘Yes, marzipan. I’ve never tasted it – only heard of it in my mother’s lullabies.’ They sat for a while in silence, observing the passers-by. ‘I don’t know if I can trust you,’ Daina said. ‘Don’t worry. You are my girl, and that’s all that matters.’ ‘I mean, I don’t know if I can trust you with my secret.’ ‘What’s on your mind, my dearest?’ ‘I am going to see my great-uncle and look after him because he wants me to. He is very rich and after he dies our family will inherit everything he has, because he lives alone and has no one in Australia. We are his closest relatives.’ ‘Looking after someone is a big job,’ Toivo said, adjusting his glasses. ‘Is he old?’ ‘Yes, nearly eighty, but don’t worry: things are different in Australia. Looking after him will be easy. He’s got everything he needs. You can get whatever you want over there, even a nurse that comes morning and night. So, she can look after his needs. To me, going to Australia is the greatest adventure. I’m going to enjoy the fruits of nature, the different cities, and travelling wherever I can get to.’ ‘I’m glad you are thinking that way,’ Toivo replied quietly, looking at his shoes. ‘Good luck with your plans anyway. You do whatever you need to do, as long as you come back, that’s all I’m asking.’ He took her hand into his and spoke about his plans to settle in Lithuania after completing his degree. ‘I need you back. Otherwise what would I do living in Lithuania without you?’ 9 ‘You can live in Tallinn. Why don’t you? It’s your home.’ ‘I know but still I’d like to live in Lithuania.’ When it was time to leave, Toivo walked with her to the departure gates, gently embraced her and gave her a kiss. She hesitantly kissed him back. At the gate she turned around for the last time, and saw him adjusting his glasses, and staring at her with a serious expression on his face.