Schedule Program Guide For GTV/GEM

Sun May 13, 2012

06:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

06:30 1946 Repeat PG

The Captive Heart When a Czech soldier is sent to a British POW camp, the other soldiers smell a rat and he must convince them otherwise.

Starring: Michael Redgrave, Mervyn Johns, Basil Radford, Gordon Jackson, Jack Warner, Jimmy Hanley

Cons.Advice: Mild Violence

08:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:00 Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Halloween Party Phoebe meets the friendly fiance of her flighty twin, Ursula - and is surprised to soon find herself attracted to him. Guest Stars Sean Penn.

Starring: , Matthew Perry, Courtney Cox Arquette, , Matt LeBlanc,

10:30 ROBIN AND THE 7 HOODS 1964 Repeat WS G

Robin And The 7 Hoods Two rival Chicago gangs fight for supremacy with the leader of one giving a large sum of money to an orphanage - becoming known as the Robin Hood of Chicago.

Starring: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Falk, Barbara Rush, Bing Crosby

13:00 THE GARDEN GURUS Repeat HD WS G

(*Series Return*) This week is another cracker for the Gurus team, well show you how to maintain a picture perfect lawn, get the most out of your natives and learn the secret to helping your garden reach its true potential.

13:30 GETAWAY Captioned Repeat WS PG

Dermott shows how to spend 48 hours in Hong Kong; Kate Ceberano takes a beautiful kayak trip on the Hawaiian island of Kauai; Jason takes a scenic flight over the Great Barrier Reef; Kelly is dog-sledding in Mt Hotham and Natalie visits NZs spectacular Lake Taupo.

14:00 SUNDAY FOOTY SHOW Live HD WS G Join Peter Sterling along with Andrew Johns and Brad Fittler as they review and preview all the NRL action from the as well as the boys for The Roast.

16:00 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL HD WS NA

Cronulla Sharks v Melbourne Storm Wide World Of Sports presents Cronulla Sharks v Melbourne Storm from Toyota Stadium, Cronulla. Join Ray Warren, Peter Sterling, Phil Gould and Brad Fittler for all the post-match interviews and analysis.

18:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Stain

Rachel is keen to find her own apartment, much to the pleasure and pain of Ross and Joey. Meanwhile, Monica is convinced that her new maid has stolen her jeans and will go to any lengths to prove it. Guest stars Sean Penn.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Matthew Perry, Courtney Cox Arquette, David Schwimmer, Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow 18:30 ANTIQUES ROADSHOW HD WS G

Blair Castle Fiona Bruce and the team head for Blair Castle, near Pitlochry in Scotland where the treasures include a chair once used by Einstein, a necklace made from stags' teeth and a rare and valuable watch with no hands.

19:30 SECRET DEALERS Repeat WS PG

Presented by Kate Bliss. The series sees two family homes visited by three antique dealers who are on the look-out for items they can sell. When the families return home they learn the valuations and cash offers that are being made for some of their most prized possessions. They then have to make the decision whether to sell their prized possessions.

20:30 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT 2000 Captioned Repeat WS M

Rules Of Engagement

Colonel Terry Childers is a patriot and war hero. But when a peacekeeping mission he leads in Yemen goes terribly wrong, he finds himself facing a court martial. Accused of breaking rules of engagement by killing unarmed civilians, Childers' only hope of vindication rests with a comrade-in-arms Hays Hodges, a military lawyer of questionable abilities. Together they face the battle of their lives.

Starring: Samuel.L. Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones, Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley, Blair Underwood, Anne Archer

Cons.Advice: Strong Violence, Frequent Very Coarse Language

23:15 BIRDS OF A FEATHER PG

Thirty Something Sharon is approaching her 30th birthday but is unable to see a bright future ahead of hermerely one which matches up to her past.

Starring: Peter Polycarpou, , , Lesley Joseph

00:00 ACCIDENT 1966 Repeat WS M

Accident

Two married Oxford professors become involved in the lives of two students - a young Englishman and a foreign female student. All three are attracted to the girl and one teacher has an affair with her before she becomes engaged to the student.

Starring: Dirk Bogarde, Stanley Baker, Michael York, Jacqueline Sassard, Alexander Knox

Cons.Advice: Adult Themes

02:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

02:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:30 JOYCE MEYER, ENJOY EVERYDAY LIFE WS PG

Enjoying Everyday Life is a daily broadcast provided by Joyce Meyer Ministries.

05:00 ADVENTURES IN RAINBOW COUNTRY Repeat G

Dreamer's Rock

Follows the adventures of a teenager named Billy Williams and his friend Pete Gawa in northern Ontario.

05:30 TODAY Captioned HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle. Mon May 14, 2012

06:00 TODAY Captioned Live HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle.

09:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:30 ALIVE & COOKING Repeat HD WS G Alive and Cooking, 's hottest cooking show hosted by UK celebrity chef James Reeson. Filmed on location at some of the country's top food and wine regions as well as in James' kitchen.

11:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Joey's New Girlfriend Joey thinks that Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend - but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

11:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Dirty Girl

Ross' beautiful new girlfriend has a disgusting secret. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

12:00 WILL ANY GENTLEMAN? 1952 Repeat G

Will Any Gentleman?

A meek bank clerk is hypnotized and becomes a ladies man.

Starring: George Cole, Veronica Hurst, Heather Thatcher

13:55 GEM PRESENTS Repeat HD WS G

Sam Moran - Colour of Love

Music Special.

14:00 SECRET DEALERS Repeat WS PG

Presented by Kate Bliss. The series sees two family homes visited by three antique dealers who are on the look-out for items they can sell. When the families return home they learn the valuations and cash offers that are being made for some of their most prized possessions. They then have to make the decision whether to sell their prized possessions.

15:00 ANTIQUES ROADSHOW Repeat HD WS G

Blair Castle Fiona Bruce and the team head for Blair Castle, near Pitlochry in Scotland where the treasures include a chair once used by Einstein, a necklace made from stags' teeth and a rare and valuable watch with no hands.

16:00 THE BLOCK Captioned Repeat WS TB

Room Reveal The teams are racing to complete their second two room week and deliver their guest bedrooms and powder rooms. Its the closest judging so far and this time the all-important bonus points will come into play.

17:00 THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

Join Ellen DeGeneres as she hosts a unique mix of celebrity interviews, chart-topping and up-and-coming musical performances, audience participation games and segments spotlighting real life stories and amazing talents.

18:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One Where Chandler Crossed The Line Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe thinks.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc 18:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Chandler In A Box On Thanksgiving, Joey wants to punish Chandler for kissing Kathy. Monica gets a surprise when she visits and eye doctor.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

19:00 THE ZOO Repeat WS G The Zoo takes you behind the scenes at Auckland Zoo, bringing you great stories about the animals and their keepers.

19:30 ZOO JUNIORS WS G Animal babies are innocent, stir our hearts and awaken our protective instincts. We follow the zookeepers as they work to nurture the baby animals and chart their progress as they take their first steps in the Zoo.

20:00 ANNA'S WILD LIFE HD WS PG Anna and Colin attempt to reunite a water-loving tapir with a swimming pool, but it means moving some potentially dangerous camels from an enclosure first.

20:30 FROZEN PLANET Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

Autumn

Late summer is explored and its the last chance to feed up before the serious challenge of winter. Animals are on the move as the landscape changes and the ice returns. Only the hardy few stay put and hunker down as the ice returns and the door closes.

21:30 EMBARRASSING BODIES Captioned Repeat WS M

Rally Nothings too below the belt for this team when they visit the world rally championships in Wales. Also, Dr Pixie comes to the aid of a woman who needs to get to the bottom of a hairy problem.

Cons.Advice: Medical Procedures, Nudity

22:30 TROUBLE IN PARADISE Captioned Repeat WS M

Australian's love to travel overseas, unfortunately sometimes we find ourselves in less than ideal situations. Trouble In Paradise tells their stories, tonight two Aussie surfers from Sydney, were meant to have the surfing trip of a lifetime in Mexico. However, they are suddenly stormed and arrested by armed police and drug lords.

23:30 LAW & ORDER HD WS M

Bad Girl The pursuit of the death penalty for a police officer's killer who found religion in prison becomes a political football for the DA's office, and Briscoe's daughter gets in trouble with the law.

Starring: Dennis Farina, Jesse L. Martin, Jerry Orbach

00:30 FOOTY CLASSIFIED Captioned Live WS M Football is set for a shake-up when the games biggest names and agenda-setters lock horns on Footy Classified for a provocative look at the AFL.

01:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One Where Chandler Crossed The Line Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe thinks.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

02:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

02:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme 04:30 JOYCE MEYER, ENJOY EVERYDAY LIFE WS PG

Enjoying Everyday Life is a daily broadcast provided by Joyce Meyer Ministries.

05:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Chandler In A Box On Thanksgiving, Joey wants to punish Chandler for kissing Kathy. Monica gets a surprise when she visits and eye doctor.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

05:30 TODAY Captioned HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle. Tue May 15, 2012

06:00 TODAY Captioned Live HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle.

09:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:30 ALIVE & COOKING Repeat HD WS G Alive and Cooking, Australia's hottest cooking show hosted by UK celebrity chef James Reeson. Filmed on location at some of the country's top food and wine regions as well as in James' kitchen.

11:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One Where Chandler Crossed The Line Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe thinks.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

11:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Chandler In A Box On Thanksgiving, Joey wants to punish Chandler for kissing Kathy. Monica gets a surprise when she visits and eye doctor.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

12:00 SOUTH OF ALGIERS 1954 Repeat G

South Of Algiers Set in Egypt, an archaeologist seeks an ancient tomb containing the Mask Of Moloch. Meanwhile, two criminals also seek the mask and a desert chase ensues.

Starring: Eric Portman, Wanda Hendrix

13:55 ZOO JUNIORS Repeat WS G Animal babies are innocent, stir our hearts and awaken our protective instincts. We follow the zookeepers as they work to nurture the baby animals and chart their progress as they take their first steps in the Zoo.

14:25 ANNA'S WILD LIFE Repeat HD WS PG Anna and Colin attempt to reunite a water-loving tapir with a swimming pool, but it means moving some potentially dangerous camels from an enclosure first.

14:55 FROZEN PLANET Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

Autumn

Late summer is explored and its the last chance to feed up before the serious challenge of winter. Animals are on the move as the landscape changes and the ice returns. Only the hardy few stay put and hunker down as the ice returns and the door closes.

15:55 BIRDS OF A FEATHER Repeat PG

Thirty Something Sharon is approaching her 30th birthday but is unable to see a bright future ahead of hermerely one which matches up to her past.

Starring: Peter Polycarpou, Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke, Lesley Joseph

16:30 THE BLOCK Captioned Repeat WS TB

Shelley Craft Challenge Challenge Master Shelley Craft goes green with a pedal-powered challenge. Each couple must generate their own electricity to make a DIY windmill but what starts out eco-friendly quickly goes downhill.

17:00 THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

Join Ellen DeGeneres as she hosts a unique mix of celebrity interviews, chart-topping and up-and-coming musical performances, audience participation games and segments spotlighting real life stories and amazing talents. 18:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One Where They Are Going To Party! The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

18:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Chandler tries to get a date for Rachel. Monica schemes to establish authority at her new restaurant job.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

19:00 THE ZOO Repeat HD WS G The Zoo takes you behind the scenes at Auckland Zoo, bringing you great stories about the animals and their keepers.

19:30 YES MINISTER Repeat WS G

The Quality Of Life Sir Humphrey uses Jim's promise to keep a popular city farm project open to get special permission for an additional nine floors on a proposed skyscraper.

20:00 ALLO ALLO Repeat WS PG

Six Big Boobies

Herr Flick now has not only The Fallen Madonna, but two forged copies as well. René thinks that things around the café are returning to what passes for normal when the escaping British airmen turn up again, this time disguised as nuns.

20:40 THE CLOSER Captioned Repeat HD WS M

Aftertaste Brenda cooks up an investigation when a woman is found murdered at a ritzy eatery, with the prime suspects being an unsavoury investor and a driven chef.

Starring: Kyra Sedgwick, J.K. Simmons, Corey Reynolds,

21:40 THE CLOSER Captioned Repeat HD WS M

To Serve And Protect Provenza and Flynn discover a corpse in Provenza's garage as they prepare to leave for a Dodgers baseball game. The investigation is then thrown a curve when the body vanishes.

Starring: Kyra Sedgwick, J.K. Simmons, Corey Reynolds, Jon Tenney

22:40 RIZZOLI & ISLES Repeat HD WS M

My Own Worst Enemy A mugging seemingly goes awry, resulting in a man's death. Meanwhile, an enigmatic paramour from Maura's past arrives, only to stir up tension between Maura and Jane.

Starring: Angie Harmon, Sasha Alexander, Lorraine Bracco, Lee Thompson Young

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

23:35 LAW & ORDER HD WS M

Damaged While Jack prosecutes three teenage boys for raping a mentally retarded girl in a high school, Lennie's daughter testifies in a drug trial.

Starring: Dennis Farina, Jesse L. Martin, Jerry Orbach

00:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One Where They Are Going To Party! The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

01:00 DANGERMAN Repeat PG

The Professionals

Patrick McGoohan stars as a private investigator involved in espionage work in various countries. 02:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

02:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:30 JOYCE MEYER, ENJOY EVERYDAY LIFE WS PG

Enjoying Everyday Life is a daily broadcast provided by Joyce Meyer Ministries.

05:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Chandler tries to get a date for Rachel. Monica schemes to establish authority at her new restaurant job.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

05:30 TODAY Captioned HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle. Wed May 16, 2012

06:00 TODAY Captioned Live HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle.

09:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:30 ALIVE & COOKING Repeat HD WS G Alive and Cooking, Australia's hottest cooking show hosted by UK celebrity chef James Reeson. Filmed on location at some of the country's top food and wine regions as well as in James' kitchen.

11:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One Where They Are Going To Party! The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

11:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Chandler tries to get a date for Rachel. Monica schemes to establish authority at her new restaurant job.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

12:00 1950 Repeat PG

The Blue Lamp

Following a post-war crime wave, a copper sets out to avenge the wrongful death of his partner.

Starring: Dirk Bogarde, Jack Warner, Jimmy Hanley, Peggy Evans, Tessie O'Shea

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

13:50 GEM PRESENTS Repeat HD WS PG

Adam Harvey: Falling into Place

Music Special.

14:00 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Captioned Repeat HD WS PG Before the farmers can make their final decisions they will need to visit each of their potential loves in their home cities, which means meeting the parents and families.

15:00 THE ZOO Repeat HD WS G The Zoo takes you behind the scenes at Auckland Zoo, bringing you great stories about the animals and their keepers.

15:30 YES MINISTER Repeat WS G

The Quality Of Life Sir Humphrey uses Jim's promise to keep a popular city farm project open to get special permission for an additional nine floors on a proposed skyscraper.

16:00 THE BLOCK Captioned Repeat WS TB

Its bathroom week on The Block and everyone is having issues with their renovations. Dan and Dani have spent $5000 on a bath but then discover it wont fit. One team breaks the noise restriction rules and the others are not happy about it.

17:00 THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

Join Ellen DeGeneres as she hosts a unique mix of celebrity interviews, chart-topping and up-and-coming musical performances, audience participation games and segments spotlighting real life stories and amazing talents.

18:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc 18:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Embryos Phoebe discovers whether or not she is pregnant. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and women.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

19:00 THE ZOO Repeat HD WS G The Zoo takes you behind the scenes at Auckland Zoo, bringing you great stories about the animals and their keepers.

19:30 DOG RESCUE WS PG At the Manchester and Cheshire Dogs Home, actor Sherrie Hewson judges a canine fancy-dress show, while centre manager Colin hopes to rehome an animal on an idyllic island.

20:00 REMARKABLE VETS WS PG Follows Geoff Woodhouse on his daily rounds as a mixed practice vet in the beautiful Wakatipu basin in New Zealand. JO FROST: EXTREME PARENTAL 20:30 GUIDANCE WS PG

Rio, Regan & Bronwyn

Jo shares her no-nonsense advice with more parents than ever before through her first ever roadshow. She's ready to tackle all the most persistent parenting problems - this time she deals with sore losers, fears and phobias, and how to handle attention-seeking behaviour.

Cons.Advice: Mild Coarse Language, Mild Violence

21:30 EMBARRASSING BODIES Repeat WS M

Cardiff

The doctors from Embarrassing Illnesses are back and have taken their clinic to the people.

Cons.Advice: Medical Procedures, Nudity

22:30 HOW CLEAN IS YOUR HOUSE Repeat WS PG Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie clean up homes that havent been cleaned for years - going through layers of grime and muck.

23:00 HOW CLEAN IS YOUR HOUSE Repeat WS PG Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie clean up homes that havent been cleaned for years - going through layers of grime and muck.

23:30 CONAN Repeat WS M

Every Kiss Begins With Kay, But Everything Else Begins With K-Y Conan O'Brien hosts an hour of laughs with some of the biggest names in entertainment and music, with regular funny segments and musical acts.

00:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

01:00 SEAWAY WS PG

Hot Line

Action adventure series on the St. Lawrence Seaway.

Starring: Stephen Young, Austin Willis

02:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

02:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme 04:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:30 JOYCE MEYER, ENJOY EVERYDAY LIFE WS PG

Enjoying Everyday Life is a daily broadcast provided by Joyce Meyer Ministries.

05:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Embryos Phoebe discovers whether or not she is pregnant. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and women.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

05:30 TODAY Captioned HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle. Thu May 17, 2012

06:00 TODAY Captioned Live HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle.

09:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:30 ALIVE & COOKING Repeat HD WS G Alive and Cooking, Australia's hottest cooking show hosted by UK celebrity chef James Reeson. Filmed on location at some of the country's top food and wine regions as well as in James' kitchen.

11:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

11:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Embryos Phoebe discovers whether or not she is pregnant. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and women.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

12:00 HENRY POOLE IS HERE 2008 Repeat HD WS PG

Henry Poole Is Here

Henry Poole moves into a house in his old neighbourhood, to spend what he believes are his remaining days alone. However, the discovery of a "miracle" by a nosy neighbour ruptures his solitude and restores his faith in life.

Starring: Luke Wilson, Radha Mitchell, Adriana Barraza, George Lopez, Cheryl Hines

Cons.Advice: Adult Themes, Mild Coarse Language

14:00 DOG RESCUE Repeat WS PG At the Manchester and Cheshire Dogs Home, actor Sherrie Hewson judges a canine fancy-dress show, while centre manager Colin hopes to rehome an animal on an idyllic island.

14:30 REMARKABLE VETS Repeat WS PG Follows Geoff Woodhouse on his daily rounds as a mixed practice vet in the beautiful Wakatipu basin in New Zealand.

15:00 JO FROST: EXTREME PARENTAL Repeat WS PG GUIDANCE

Rio, Regan & Bronwyn

Jo shares her no-nonsense advice with more parents than ever before through her first ever roadshow. She's ready to tackle all the most persistent parenting problems - this time she deals with sore losers, fears and phobias, and how to handle attention-seeking behaviour.

Cons.Advice: Mild Coarse Language, Mild Violence

16:00 THE BLOCK Captioned Repeat WS TB

Scottys Workshop Challenge Host has set the couples a mind-bending challenge when he presents them with the worlds hardest flat-pack. There are bonus points on the line if they can complete it and a hidden message from the judges.

17:00 THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

Join Ellen DeGeneres as she hosts a unique mix of celebrity interviews, chart-topping and up-and-coming musical performances, audience participation games and segments spotlighting real life stories and amazing talents. 18:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Rachel's Crush Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

18:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Joey's Dirty Day Charlton Heston (himself) finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favour.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

19:00 THE ZOO Repeat HD WS G The Zoo takes you behind the scenes at Auckland Zoo, bringing you great stories about the animals and their keepers.

19:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With All The Rugby

Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily - with painful results.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

20:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Fake Party Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

20:30 MY STRANGE ADDICTION HD WS M

Still Addicted?

My Strange Addiction goes back to season 1 and 2 to see if the most compelling addictions still have a stronghold. Addicts include Keisha the toilet paper eater, Samantha the sun tanner and Adele, a woman addicted to eating couches.

Cons.Advice: Adult Themes

21:30 HOARDING: BURIED ALIVE WS PG

No One Would Choose This Two hoarders who collect a wide range of items face eviction and alienation unless they agree to change their ways.

22:30 WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Captioned WS M

Using hidden cameras, host John Quiñones observes and comments on how ordinary people behave when they are confronted with a dilemma that requires them to either take action or walk by and mind their own business.

23:30 CONAN WS M Conan O'Brien hosts an hour of laughs with some of the biggest names in entertainment and music, with regular funny segments and musical acts.

00:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Rachel's Crush Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

01:00 SEAWAY Repeat WS PG

Billy The Kid

Action adventure series on the St. Lawrence Seaway.

Starring: Stephen Young, Austin Willis

02:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

02:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme 03:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

03:30 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:00 HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme

04:30 JOYCE MEYER, ENJOY EVERYDAY LIFE WS PG

Enjoying Everyday Life is a daily broadcast provided by Joyce Meyer Ministries.

05:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Joey's Dirty Day Charlton Heston (himself) finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favour.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

05:30 TODAY Captioned HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle. Fri May 18, 2012

06:00 TODAY Captioned Live HD WS NA Join Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson as they bring you the latest in news, current affairs, sport, politics, entertainment, fashion, health and lifestyle.

09:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

10:30 ALIVE & COOKING Repeat HD WS G Alive and Cooking, Australia's hottest cooking show hosted by UK celebrity chef James Reeson. Filmed on location at some of the country's top food and wine regions as well as in James' kitchen.

11:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Rachel's Crush Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

11:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Joey's Dirty Day Charlton Heston (himself) finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favour.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

12:00 VALLEY OF THE KINGS 1954 Repeat PG

Valley Of The Kings

Hard-boiled archaeologist Mark Brandon is searching for ancient tombs in Egypt when he is approached by beautiful Ann Mercedes, who convinces him to help her fulfil her deceased father's life's ambition - to provide solid proof of the biblical Joseph's travels in ancient Egypt.

Starring: Robert Taylor, Eleanor Parker, Victor Jory, Kurt Kasznar

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

13:50 BIRDS OF A FEATHER PG

Love On The Run Darryl has been taken to hospital with appendicitis, and plans to escape and spend the night with his wife. Meanwhile, Sharon sees this as an opportunity to do some entertaining of her own.

Starring: Peter Polycarpou, Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke, Lesley Joseph

14:25 BIRDS OF A FEATHER PG

Old Friends

Sharon fears that blood is truly thicker than water.

Starring: Peter Polycarpou, Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke, Lesley Joseph

15:00 HOARDING: BURIED ALIVE Repeat WS PG

No One Would Choose This Two hoarders who collect a wide range of items face eviction and alienation unless they agree to change their ways.

16:00 THE BLOCK Captioned Repeat WS TB The issue of noise restrictions is a hot topic and now Dan is upset at Dale about breaking the rules. Scott Cam and Shelley Craft review progress as the couples struggle to complete their bathrooms.

17:00 THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

Join Ellen DeGeneres as she hosts a unique mix of celebrity interviews, chart-topping and up-and-coming musical performances, audience participation games and segments spotlighting real life stories and amazing talents. 18:00 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With The Free Porn

Monica helps Ross tell his girlfriend that he loves her. Pheobe gets some surprising news about her pregnancy.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

18:30 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With Rachel's New Dress Ross and his ex-wife become jealous when their lovers go to England together. Rachel's plans to seduce her boyfriend go awry.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

19:00 THE ZOO Repeat HD WS G The Zoo takes you behind the scenes at Auckland Zoo, bringing you great stories about the animals and their keepers.

19:30 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Captioned Live HD WS NA

Wests Tigers v Warriors Wide World Of Sports presents Wests Tigers v Warriors live from Leichhardt Oval. Join Ray Warren, Phil Gould, Wally Lewis, Andrew Johns and Peter Sterling for all the action, post match interviews & analysis.

21:45 THE CLOSER Captioned Repeat HD WS M

Standards and Practices

Brenda and her team investigate the murder of an esteemed Hollywood producer.

Starring: Kyra Sedgwick, J.K. Simmons

22:40 RIZZOLI & ISLES Repeat HD WS M

My Own Worst Enemy A mugging seemingly goes awry, resulting in a man's death. Meanwhile, an enigmatic paramour from Maura's past arrives, only to stir up tension between Maura and Jane.

Starring: Angie Harmon, Sasha Alexander, Lorraine Bracco, Lee Thompson Young

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

23:30 CONAN WS M Conan O'Brien hosts an hour of laughs with some of the biggest names in entertainment and music, with regular funny segments and musical acts.

23:35 CONAN WS M Conan O'Brien hosts an hour of laughs with some of the biggest names in entertainment and music, with regular funny segments and musical acts.

00:30 PSYCHIC TV Live WS PG Connect with Australia's expert mediums, psychics and clairvoyants - live and interactive. Our team of specialist, hand selected psychics are ready and waiting for your call!

02:00 1945 Repeat WS M

Dead Of Night An architect senses impending doom as his half-remembered recurring dream turns into reality. The guests at the country house encourage him to stay as they take turns telling supernatural tales.

Starring: , Robert Hamer, Charles Crichton, Googie Withers, Michael Redgrave, Mervyn Johns

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

04:00 DANGERMAN Repeat PG

Don't Nail Him Yet

Patrick McGoohan stars as a private investigator involved in espionage work in various countries.

05:00 BIRDS OF A FEATHER Repeat PG

Love On The Run Darryl has been taken to hospital with appendicitis, and plans to escape and spend the night with his wife. Meanwhile, Sharon sees this as an opportunity to do some entertaining of her own.

Starring: Peter Polycarpou, Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke, Lesley Joseph 05:30 BIRDS OF A FEATHER Repeat PG

Old Friends

Sharon fears that blood is truly thicker than water.

Starring: Peter Polycarpou, Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke, Lesley Joseph Sat May 19, 2012

06:00 VALLEY OF THE KINGS 1954 Repeat PG

Valley Of The Kings

Hard-boiled archaeologist Mark Brandon is searching for ancient tombs in Egypt when he is approached by beautiful Ann Mercedes, who convinces him to help her fulfil her deceased father's life's ambition - to provide solid proof of the biblical Joseph's travels in ancient Egypt.

Starring: Robert Taylor, Eleanor Parker, Victor Jory, Kurt Kasznar

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

07:50 GEM PRESENTS Repeat WS G

John Farnham - The Acoustic Chapel Sessions

Music Special.

08:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

08:30 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:00 TV SHOP - HOME SHOPPING WS G

Home shopping programme.

09:30 CARRY ON SPYING 1964 Repeat G

Carry On Spying Misadventures of a group of inept trainee spies, scurrying through Europe and North Africa on the trail of a secret formula, taken by a subversive organization known as STENCH.

Starring: Kenneth Williams, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Cribbins, Charles Hawtrey, Eric Barker

11:25 FRIENDS Captioned Repeat HD WS PG

The One With All The Rugby

Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily - with painful results.

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc

11:50 THE YOUNG ONES 1961 Repeat WS G

The Young Ones Nicky the leader of a Youth Club which makes its headquarters in a ramshackle hut in a shabby London neighbourhood stages a show to save the club from his father, a property tycoon.

Starring: Cliff Richard, Robert Morley, Carole Gray, Teddy Green

14:05 A SUMMER PLACE 1959 Repeat PG

A Summer Place

Having squandered the family fortune, Bart Hunter converts his summer mansion into an inn which he runs with his wife Sylvia and their son Johnny. Mutual friends Ken and Helen Jorgenson, with their daughter Molly, come to the inn for a holiday. Following the divorces of their parents, Molly and Johnny fall in love and complications follow.

Starring: Richard Egan, Dorothy McGuire, Sandra Dee, Arthur Kennedy, Constance Ford

Cons.Advice: Adult Themes

16:45 THE BLOCK Captioned Repeat WS TB

The Block Unlocked The Block's judges, Neale Whitaker, Shaynna Blaze and John McGrath review their decision about the teams guest rooms and powder rooms and the couples give their views of their neighbours efforts.

17:15 CHANCES ARE 1989 Repeat HD WS PG

Chances Are Alex is in for the surprise of his life when he is reincarnated as Louie, Corinne's husband, who died twenty-five years ago.

Starring: Cybill Shepherd, Robert Downey Jnr, Ryan O'Neal, Mary S. Masterson, Christopher McDonald

Cons.Advice: Adult Themes, Sexual References 19:30 ANTIQUES ROADSHOW Captioned Repeat WS G

Sheffield Viewers from all corners bring their items to be appraised by the show's antiques experts. Are they valuable, priceless items, or will they go home disappointed?

20:30 CSI: NY Captioned Repeat HD WS M

The Thing About Heroes

While in Chicago Mac uncovers more clues about his stalker and reveals his troubled past. Meanwhile in New York the rest of the team is in danger. The hunt is on to figure out the identity of the 333 stalker before time runs out.

Starring: Gary Sinise, Anna Belknap, Eddie Cahill

21:30 CSI: MIAMI Captioned Repeat HD WS M

Dead On Arrival

When a reality star is murdered, the CSI team delve into the scandalous, sexy world of a TV dating show.

Starring: David Caruso, Emily Procter, Adam Rodriguez, Jonathan Togo, Teri Polo

22:30 CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION Captioned Repeat HD WS M

The Gone Dead Train An unexplained illness that is affecting random citizens of Las Vegas baffles the CSIs. Meanwhile, a friendly bikini contest rivalry takes a deadly turn.

Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Marg Helgenberger, William Petersen, George Eads

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

23:25 CONAN Repeat WS M Conan O'Brien hosts an hour of laughs with some of the biggest names in entertainment and music, with regular funny segments and musical acts.

00:20 PSYCHIC TV Live WS PG Connect with Australia's expert mediums, psychics and clairvoyants - live and interactive. Our team of specialist, hand selected psychics are ready and waiting for your call!

01:50 PICCADILLY INCIDENT 1946 Repeat G

Piccadilly Incident

During World War II, a girl believed drowned, returns from the frontline to find her husband remarried.

Starring: Anna Neagle, Michael Wilding, Michael Laurence, Reginald Owen

03:50 CAGE OF GOLD 1950 Repeat PG

Cage Of Gold

A girl's philandering ex-husband comes back into her life and is murdered.

Starring: Jean Simmons, , James Donald, Herbert Lom,

Cons.Advice: Some Violence

05:30 DISCOVER DOWNUNDER Repeat WS G

Killarney And Stanthorpe, QLD

Stanthorpe is famous for its apples, but as Brooke Hanson and Tim Smith discover, thats just the start of whats on offer in Queenslands Granite Belt. Four wheel driving, a thriving wine industry, mighty fine food - and some top tourist parks