©2008 Family Violence Prevention Fund. All rights reserved. Coaching Boys into MenSM is a service mark and the exclusive property of the Family Violence Prevention Fund. The contents of this publication may not be adapted or reprinted without the express written consent of the Family Violence Prevention Fund. Coaching Boys INTO MEN Playbook “I have always believed that a role model can be anyone. It’s important for people to realize that young people are always looking at them for guidance, whether that grown person is aware of it or not. ” — Dean Smith Hall of Fame Coach University of North Carolina The authors of the Playbook want Lupita Reyes, Verizon Foundation Pat Riley, Coach, Miami Heat the hundreds of coaches and athletes who helped to thank Dr. Scott Rodeo, Hospital for Special Surgery, NY in its development. Each day we were inspired by the deep and Sunny Schwartz, SF Sherriff’s Dept. meaningful relationships that coaches have with their players, Staci Slaughter, San Francisco Giants as well as by the relentless desire of the players themselves to Judy Stafford, Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention grow up to lead safe, healthy and productive lives. John Thompson, Jr.; and, John Thompson III We also drew inspiration and guidance from those already Cristina Torre working in the field of sports to teach and promote leadership. Peter Vitulli Much appreciation goes to leaders like Jackson Katz and Don Cindy Waitt, Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention McPherson for their pioneering work in schools and athletic Ted Waitt programs across the country. Lenny Wilkens, NBA Hall of Fame Player and Coach It is our hope that the Coaching Boys Into MenSM Playbook will add to and enhance the information available to coaches to help them guide the youth of today and tomorrow toward healthy, respectful, nonviolent relationships. Michael Carr and Lynne Lee Coaching Boys into Men Playbook Advisors Mark Abbott, Major League Soccer Larry Baer, San Francisco Giants Ron Benza Jeff Bleich, Munger, Tolles & Olson, LLP Pete Carroll, Head Coach, University of Southern California The Family Violence Prevention Fund works to prevent M.L. Carr, WARM2Kids violence within the home, and in the community, to help those Melody Carter, Verizon Foundation whose lives are devastated by violence, because everyone has Dick Galiette, IN MEMORIAM National High School Athletic Coaches Association the right to live free of violence. Don Garber, Major League Soccer www.endabuse.org Rich Garwood, Verizon Wireless Michael Goldberg, NBA Coaches Association Partners: Mary Lou Guy, Coach, Los Angeles, CA Dr. Alan Heisterkamp, Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention John Heubusch, Waitt Family Foundation Jackson Katz Gary Mackowicki, National High School Athletic Coaches Association The Macy’s West Fund of The Federated Foundation Don McPherson Northeastern University’s Center for the Study of Sport in Society/Mentors in Violence Prevention Gelaine Orvik, Executive Director, National High School Athletic Coaches Association/Executive Secretary, North Dakota High School Coaches Association Jim Rear, Coach, Salinas, CA 2 Coaching Boys into Men Playbook Visit www.coaches-corner.org Demeaning, disrespectful and Dear Coach: violent attitudes toward women are underlying causes of other Many people judge our athletic accomplishments major societal ills such as school by counting wins and losses, but to us, our legacies violence, community violence are much more personal. Our legacies are defined and crime. by the number of lives we are able to impact. This is not to say that athletes are more prone to Winning games is important to every coach. violence than nonathletes, but as powerful leaders However, it shouldn’t be our only goal. A big part in schools and society, athletes can help affect of the job is helping to develop solid, responsible change by understanding and representing core athletes who are able to become upstanding values of respect. citizens. When we, as coaches, can teach a group of individuals to care as much about each other as Every coach is in a position that allows him to they do about themselves, we have truly created directly influence the attitudes of his athletes a winning team. and to help eliminate disrespectful perceptions of women and girls that are at the heart of this Athletics has always been at the forefront of social tragic problem. The purpose of this Playbook is to change. Playing sports has helped our country provide you with coaching tips, advice and useful break down barriers of segregation and racism; anecdotes from great coaches and players to help it brings the world together during times of war you confront this issue head on. and provides inspiration and optimism when the public needs it most. Today, you are being called By coaching boys into men, you will help lay a upon to address a major problem: violence against solid foundation for your players’ lives that will be women. Nearly one third of the women in this remembered far longer than any win in any column. country will experience physical or sexual abuse in their lifetimes. One in five teenage girls admits to Sincerely, having experienced dating violence. Domestic and Joe Torre M.L. Carr Pete Carroll sexual violence is a pervasive problem affecting Manager, Former Coach Head Coach, your athletes, as well as people in all of society. Los Angeles and NBA World University of Dodgers Champion, Southern California Boston Celtics 4 Coaching Boys into Men Playbook Visit www.coaches-corner.org “We teach players that honor and respect are keys to a team playing a game. How can we not teach them that honor and respect are even more important in their lives? — Tubby Smith Head Coach, University” of Minnesota INTRODUCTION TABLE OF CONTENTS Boys need role models; they need mentors, Section Page(s) teachers and coaches to 1. Playbook Guide p. 8 give them guidance that 2. Playing Field and Pledge p. 12 will help them grow into 3. Teachable Moments p. 22 healthy young men. 4. Overtime p. 36 They need to know that, in the long run, who they are in society is more important than who they are as a player. Resources p. 40 Michael Jordan has described coach Dean Smith as a “second father” and long-time coach Phil Jackson as his friend. Jordan is just one of countless athletes whose life has been changed forever by contact with great coaches. Whether it’s in speeches to the team, practice sessions or simply casual conversation, coaches have many opportu- nities to impart their philosophies to athletes. It doesn’t matter if you’re coaching basketball or golf, your players look to you for leadership, guidance and instruction. 1 in 5 teenage girls say Coaches have a truly unique platform for delivering a they have experienced message. dating violence Great coaches teach integrity, self-respect, discipline, teamwork and respect for others. These are all traits and skills that are just as important in life as they are on the field. Hundreds of coaches designed the Coaching Boys into MenSM Playbook to help you extend your valuable teaching to include a healthy respect for women and the values present in strong, nonviolent relationships. 6 Coaching Boys into Men Playbook Visit www.coaches-corner.org “Coaches are masters of communication. It’s our responsibility to lead, instruct and inspire young athletes.” — Dick Vitale Sports Commentator and Former Coach, Detroit Pistons PLAYBOOK GUIDEPLAYBOOK Section 1 PLAYBOOK GUIDE The Coaching Boys into MenSM Playbook is divided into the following sections: Playbook Guide Define the Playing Field and Take The Pledge w Informs you about the disrespectful attitudes and abusive behaviors that can lead to violence against Winning at sports requires women and provides a preseason game plan for addressing these issues with your team. force, aggressiveness and, GUIDEPLAYBOOK w Affirms your team’s commitment to ending at times intimidation. violence against women by pledging to end it. Unfortunately, a lot of young men don’t realize that game strategies THIS SEASON COMMUNICATE THAT YOUR PLAYERS’ GOALS WILL INCLUDE: don’t necessarily 1) Learning to treat women with honor translate in real life. and respect By teaching your 2) Understanding that violence never equals strength athletes that young 3) Using this knowledge to become women deserve to role models be treated with honor and respect and that Capitalize on Teachable Moments violence does not equal w Provides realistic scenarios designed to help you plan ahead for incidents when you find yourself strength or manliness, needing to mentor and guide your players. Each Teachable Moment explains how to Make a you will help your young Defensive Play by addressing the immediate situation; it also shows how to Design Your men draw these important Offense, using the situation to deliver a broader distinctions between games team-wide message about the positive values and behaviors that can stop violence before it begins. and life. Go into Overtime w Suggests team activities that express the team’s commitment to preventing violence against women and builds awareness of the issue in the school and the community at large. 11 Coaching Boys into Men Playbook Visit www.coaches-corner.org “In sport and in life values and attitudes are as important to winning as are strength and endurance..” — John Thompson III Head Coach, Georgetown University Section 2 PLAYING FIELD PLAYING FIELD You may want to include Playing Field the following in your own preseason speech: Athletes will tell you that COACH: in football the playing field is 120 yards by 53.3 Hey guys …. you know I care yards. In baseball, there is an infield, outfield about how you play on the field, but, and a diamond of four bases. When it comes to violence against women, the playing field I also care about how you act off consists of attitudes and behaviors that may, on of it, too.