Lyrics as in Film 1

“” First Nighters But never like this! Max Chorus men Ahhhhh! We can do it, we can do it, Opening night... Max Bialystock has done it We can do it, me and you. again! We can do it, we can do it, Chorus women We can make our dreams Opening night... First Nighters come true. The songs were rotten, Chorus The book was stinkin', Max It's opening night! What he did to Everything you've ever Shakespeare, wanted Usherettes Booth did to Lincoln! Is just waiting to be had. It's Max Bialystock's latest Beautiful girls, wearing show, Workman nothing but pearls, Will it flop or will it go? We had this made up Caressing you, undressing The cast is taking its final special for Max you, bow, Bialystock… And driving you mad! Here comes the audience Ha, ha, ha. now! Leo The doors are open; First Nighters No! They're on their way... We couldn't leave faster... Let's hear what they have Max to say! Usherettes Bloom! Bloom, wait a What a disaster! minute now. Hear me out. Men First Nighters Just think about it. He's done it again, First Nighters We can do it, we can do it, He's done it again. We are still in shock, This is not the time to shirk. Who produced this We can do it, you won't rue Women First Nighters schlock? it, Max Bialystock has done it That slimy, sleazy Max Say goodbye to petty clerk. again! Bialystock! Hi, producer; yes, What a bum! producer, First Nighters I mean you, sir, go berserk! We can't believe it, We can do it, we can do it, You can't conceive it... “WE CAN DO IT” And I know it's gonna work! Whatta ya say, Bloom? Man First Nighter Max How'd he achieve it? What did Lewis say to Leo Clark What do I say? First Nighters When everything looked Finally a chance to be a It's the worst show in town! bleak? Broadway producer! We sat there sighing, What did Sir Edmund say What do I say? Groaning and crying, to Tenzing as Finally a chance to make There's no denying, They struggled towards my dreams come true, sir! It's the worst show in town! Everest's peak? What do I say, what do I What did Washington say say, All First Nighters to his troops Here's what I say to you, Oh, we wanted to stand up As they crossed the sir... and hiss… Delaware? I can't do it, I can't do it. I’m sure you're well I can't do it, that's not me. Men First Nighters aware... I’m a loser, I’m a coward, We've seen shit... I’m a chicken, don't you Leo see? What'd they say? THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 2

When it comes to wooing I can't do it! With a hit show on women, Max Broadway. There's a few things that I We can do it! Leo I wanna be a producer, lack. I can't do it! Lunch at Sardi's every day. Beautiful girls, wearing Max I wanna be a producer, nothing but pearls, We can! Sport a top hat and a cane. Chasing me, embracing I wanna be a producer me, Leo And drive those chorus I'd have an attack. Cannot, cannot, cannot, girls insane! cannot, Cabbie Cannot, cannot do it, Leo / Chorus Girls Where to? 'Cause I know it's gonna I wanna be a producer / fail. Ooh! Leo And sleep until half-past Central park… gotta two. breathe, gotta breathe. “I WANNA BE A PRODUCER” Chorus Girls Max / Leo Ooh! We can do it, / Mr. Accountants Bialystock, Unhappy...unhappy...very Leo / Chorus Girls We can do it... / Please unhappy. I wanna be a producer / stop , Unhappy...unhappy...very Ooh! We can / You've got me very very And say, "You, you, you... wrong, Very very very very Not you". Grab / I'll say "so long", unhappy... That / I’m not as strong Leo / Chorus Girls Holy grail! / A person as Leo & Accountants I wanna be a producer, / you think! Unhappy...unhappy... Ooh! We can do it, / Mr. Very very very very very Wear a tux on op'ning Bialystock, very night! We can do it.../ Just take a Very...unhappy. look, Leo / Chorus Girls Drink / I’m not a crook, Leo I wanna be a producer / Champagne / I’m just a I spend my life accounting, Aaaaaah! shnook, With figures and such. And see my name "Leo Not / The bottom line Bloom" in lights! Ginger ale! / Is that I stink. Accountants I...can't...do...it! Unhappy. Chorus Girls Come on, Leo, Aaaaaah! Can't you see-o... Leo He wants to be a producer To what is my life Of a great big Broadway Leo amounting? ! You see Rio, I see jail! It figures, not much. He wants to be a producer, Driver, stop! Ev'ry pocket stuffed with Here! Accountants cash! Unhappy. He wants to be a producer, Max Pinch our cheeks 'til we We can do it! Leo Leo cry. I can't do it! I have a secret desire Max Hiding deep in my soul. Chorus Girl #1 We can do it! Leo It sets my heart afire Ouch! I can't do it! To see me in this role... Max I wanna be a producer Chorus Girl #2 We can do it! Leo Eek! THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 3

Enthrall 'em, certified public asshole! Chorus Girl #3 Here’s my visor, my Dixon Ooh! Leo & Chorus Girls Ticonderoga number two Read my name in pencil… and my big finish! Chorus Girl #4 Winchell's column. I’m gonna be a producer! Oh! Leo Chorus Girls Chorus Girl #5 I wanna be a producer, He's gonna be a producer! Aah! 'Cause it's everything I’m not. Leo & Chorus Girls Chorus Girl #6 Look out Broadway... Yes! Accountants Unhappy...unhappy... Leo Chorus Girls 'Cause, here I come! He wants to be a producer Leo With a great big casting I wanna be a producer. couch! “DER GUTEN TAG HOP- Ooh! Accountants CLOP” Very, very, unhappy, Leo unhappy. Franz I wanna be... Eins, zwei, drei... Chorus Girls Leo Guten tag hop hop, He wants to I wanna be a produc… Guten tag clop clop, be... Ach du leiber Leo Leo / Accountants Und oh boy! I wanna be... Wait a minute, wait a Guten tag clap clap, Chorus Girls minute! / Very…very… Guten tag slap slap, He wants to Hold everything! / Ach du lieber be... Unhappy…unhappy… Vat a joy! Leo Hold everything! What am Oh, ve essen und fressen I wanna be the greatest, I doing here? Und tanzen und trinken, grandest, Tanzen und trinken And most fabulous Leo Until ve get stinkin'! producer in the world. Mr. Bialystock was right! Everybody! There is a lot more to me Chorus Girls than there is to me. Stop Franz, Max & Leo He's gotta dine with a the world, I wanna get on! Guten tag hop hop, duchess and a duke. Guten tag clop clop... Marks Leo What the hell is going on Franz I just gotta be a producer, here? Do I smell the Guten tag Drink champagne until I revolting stench of self- Mein liebe schatz. puke. esteem? Bloom, where do So ve hop our hops, you think you’re going? Und ve clop our clops, Chorus Girls You already had your toilet Und ve drink our schnapps Drink champagne 'til he break! 'Til ve plotz! pukes! Leo Pigeons (in background) Leo I’m not going into the toilet! Coo coo coo coo…. I wanna be a producer, I’m going into show Show the world just what business! Mr. Marks, I got Franz I've got. news for you: I quit! And Vunderbar! Gentlemen, I’m gonna put on shows you’re right about one you may produce my play. that will thing: you are a C.P.A. – a THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 4

Carmen Shirley ...if he winds up with mom! ...and tits! “KEEP IT GAY” Roger Carmen Max Keep it gay... And the rule is, when Then you'll do it? mounting a Carmen Play… Roger Keep it gay... Do it? Of course not. It’s Roger, Carmen, & Team not my kind of thing. I Roger & Carmen Keep it funny, keep it mean, Max, please World Keep it gay! sunny, keep War Two? Ooooh. Too It gay! dark, too depressing... Roger This is my set designer, Roger Roger Bryan. I see a line of beautiful girls The theatre's so obsessed Dressed as stormtroopers, With dramas so depressed, Bryan each one a gem. It's hard to sell a ticket on Hello. With leather boots and Broadway. Keep it mad, keep it glad, whips on their hips, Shows should be more keep it gay! It's risque, dare I say, S. pretty, And M.! Shows should be more Roger witty, Here's my costume Carmen & Team Shows should be more... designer, Kevin. Love it! What's the word? Kevin Roger Leo Hello. I see German soldiers Gay? Keep it happy, keep it dancing through France, snappy, keep it gay! Played by chorus boys in Roger very tight pants. Exactly! Bryan & Kevin And wait, there's more – No matter what you do on We're clever, creative, they’ll win the war! the stage It's our job to see And the dances they do will Keep it light, keep it bright, That ev'rything's perfect be daring and new, keep it gay! For Mr. DeBris Turn-turn-kick-turn, turn- Whether it's murder, turn-kick-turn, and mayhem or rage. Shirley One-two-three, kick-turn! Don't complain, it's a pain, Keep it gay, keep it gay, Keep it sassy, keep it keep it gay! keep it gay. classy, keep it...

Carmen Roger Roger People want laughter when Now, they all just read I'll do it. I'll do it! they see a show, "Springtime...". What did Sabu, champagne! The last thing they're after's you think of it, fellas? a litany of woe. Carmen & Team Bryan Ah! Roger & Carmen It needs glamour... A happy ending will pep up Roger, Carmen & Team your play... Scott If at the end you want them ...and glitz! to cheer... Roger Keep it gay, keep it gay, Oedipus won't bomb... Kevin keep it gay. It needs sequins... Whether it's Hamlet, Othello or Lear... THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 5

Keep it gay, keep it gay, Keep it gay! Ulla keep it gay. Ven I was yust a little girl in Sveden, Carmen My thoughtful mother gave Comedy's joyous, a “WHEN YOU GOT IT, me this advice: constant delight, dramas FLAUNT IT” If nature blesses you from annoy us... top to bottom, Ulla Show that top to bottom, Roger & Carmen Ven you got it, flaunt it, Don't think twice...... and ruin our night. Step right up and strut your Now Ulla belt! stuff. Don't think twice...! Roger, Carmen & Team People tell you modesty's a Ven you got it, share it, So keep your strindbergs wirtue, Let the public feast upon and ibsens at bay... But in the theatre modesty your charms. can hurt you. People say that being prim Roger Ven you got it, flaunt it, is proper, I'll sign... Show your assets, let 'em But ev'ry showgirl knows know you're proud. that prim will stop her. Kevin Your goodies you must Ven you got it, give it, Sign... push, Don't be selfish, give it all Stick your chest out, shake a-vay. Scott your tush. Don't be shy, be bold 'n' Sign... Ven you got it, shout it out cute, loud! Show the boys your Bryan Now Ulla dance. birthday suit. Sign... Ven you got it, show it, Ven you got it, if you got it, Put your hidden treasures Once you got it, Shirley on display. Shout out hooray!!! Sign... Violinists love to play an e- string, Carmen But audiences really love a Sign... g-string. “WE CAN DO IT” Ven you got it, shout it, (Reprise) Max & Leo Let the whole vorld hear Sign! vat you're about. Max / Leo Clothes may make the We can do it, we can do it, Roger man, / I’m gonna be a Roger Elizabeth DeBris! All a girl needs is a tan. Say goodbye to woe and Ven you got it, let it hang gloom. / Producer! All out! With your brilliance, / I’m Keep it gay! Remember ven Ulla gonna be a dance? My resilience... / Producer! Carmen Conga! Max & Leo Max & Leo Yeah! Up together...we will zoom. All We can do it, we can do La la la la la Ulla it... La la la la la Ulla dance again! La la la la la Max La la la la la Max Every show I touch I doom! And so the rule is, Ulla dance again! When mounting a play, Max & Leo Keep it gay... We were fated, to be Keep it gay... mated, THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 6

We're Bialystock & Bloom! We were drinking, The need to breed can Then along came Bialy! make a man a drone. Chorus We must be on alert with Aah! our defenses. Max For every skirt will test Who’s your daddy? Testosterone. So knowing this I severed “ALONG CAME BIALY” Little Old Ladies all connection So romantic, With any creature sporting Max We were frantic, silk or lace. The time has come Then our prayers were I was firmly headed in the To be a lover from the Heard up above! right direction Argentine, It's Bialy, When suddenly I stumbled To slick my hair down with Hail, Bialy! on... Brilliantine, He's the culmination, That face... And gargle heavily with The restoration, That face, that face, that Listerine. The consummation, dangerous face, Wow! The titillation, I mustn't be unwise. It's time for Max Ejaculation... Those lips, that nose, those To put his backers on their eyes backs, Max Could lead to my demise. And thrill them with Oy! That face, that face, that amazing acts, marvelous face, Those aging Little Old Ladies I never should begin, nymphomaniacs... He's the celebration of Those cheeks, that neck, Ah-ah-ah! love... that chin They were helpless, Eeee, ohhhh, uuuuuu. Will surely do me in. They were hopeless, I must be smart, Then along came Bialy! Max And hide my heart, They were joyless, Ha, ha, ha, ha. Thank you! If she's within a mile. They were boyless, Bloom! If I don't duck, Then along came Bialy! I’m out of luck, They're my angels, Chorus She'd kill me with her I’m their devil, (singing to "Springtime for smile. And I keep those embers Hitler") That face, that face, that aglow. Ah-ah, ah, ah-ah fabulous face, When I woo's 'em, Ah, ah-ah-aah! It's clear I must beware. I can't lose 'em, I’m certain if I fall in love, 'Cause I cast my spell 'n Max & Leo I’m lost without a trace, They start yellin' We can't miss! But it's worth it...for that "Fire down below!" face. So romantic, Chorus They were frantic, (singing to "Springtime for Ulla Then their prayers Hitler") That face, that face, that Were heard up above. Ahhhhh! lovable face, Heaven sent them It melts my Svedish heart. Their Bialy! I’m the celebration of love! Leo “THAT FACE” I’m certain if I fall in love, Little Old Ladies I’m lost without a trace... We were listing, Leo We were sinking, The urge to merge can rob Leo & Ulla Then along came Bialy! us of our senses. But it's worth it for...that We were desp'rate, face. THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 7

Haben sie gehört das Max deutsche band... Good luck, good luck, good Mit a zetz, mit a zap, mit a luck. “A WANDERING zing! MINSTREL, I” It's the only kind of musik Late Actresses That ve huns und our Aah! Jack honeys love to sing! Aaaaaa, wandering Franz minstrel, i, Max It's verboten vishing "luck" A thing of shreds and... That’s our Hitler! on opening night, Take advice, don't think Roger twice, Thank you! Or your show will surely “YOU NEVER SAY GOOD end Jack LUCK ON OPENING Up in the scheiss! ...patches! NIGHT” Carmen Roger At the famous la Scala in Mr. Bloom hasn’t anyone Milan “HABEN SIE GEHÖRT ever told you, On opening night it's a rule. DAS DEUTSCHE BAND” It's bad luck to say "good "In boca lupa" they say with luck" on opening night. elan, Franz If you do, I tell you, And just for luck they all Haben sie gehört das It is certain by the curtain shout... deutsche band, You are through! Mit a bang, mit a boom, Roger, Carmen & Franz Mit a bing-bang bing-bang Max "Bah fongool!" boom! Good luck! Ooh, haben sie gehört das Leo deutsche band, Carmen I got it! Mit a bang, mit a boom, It's bad luck to say "good Now I'll never say "good Mit a bing-bang bing-bang luck" on opening night. luck" on opening night, boom! Once it's said, you are That's the rule, I’m no fool! Russian folksongs dead. What do I say, I beg? Und french oo-la-la You will get the worst Can't compare with that reviews Roger, Carmen & Franz German You've ever read! What you say is "break a Oom-pah-pah! leg!" Ve're sayin'... Max Haben sie gehört das Good luck! Leo deutsche band, Break a leg? Mit a zetz, mit a zap, mit a Roger zing! Even at the comedie Roger, Carmen & Franz Polish polkas, they're francais, Yeah, break a leg! stupid und On the opening night they They're rotten! are scared. Leo, Roger, Carmen & It don't mean a thing if it "Bon chance", mes amis, Franz ain't got no one says, If you're clever... That shweigen-reigen- The only word you'll ever schone-schutzen- hear is... Max schmutzen sauerbraten! Good luck! Key change! Roger, Carmen & Franz Ve're sayin'... Merde!

THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 8

Leo, Roger, Carmen & / Franz aaaahh! Roger You'll endeavor... If you're looking for a war, To never, never, never, Tenor / Chorus Here's World War Two! never, ever, ever, ever, Springtime for Hitler and Heil myself, Say... Germany! Raise your beer! (the black cat screeches.) ...on opening night!! Chorus Chorus Springtime! Springtime! Javohl! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Roger “SPRINGTIME FOR Springtime! Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi HITLER – PART I” stand and cheer! Tenor Chorus Come on, Germans, Chorus Germany was having Go into your dance! Hurray! trouble, Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi... What a sad, sad story. Storm Trooper "Rolf" Needed a new leader to Heil Hitler! Roger restore Heil myself! Its former glory. Storm Trooper "Mel" Where, oh, where was he? Heil Hitler! Chorus Where could that man be? Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi... We looked around and Storm Troopers "Mel" & then we found, "Rolf" & Tenor Roger The man for you and me! Heil Hitler! Heil myself!

Tenor Tenor Chorus And now it's... Springtime for Hitler and Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi... Springtime for Hitler and Germany! Germany, Roger Deutchland is happy and Chorus ...stand and cheer! gay! Heil Hitler! We're marching to a... Chorus / Roger ...faster pace. He’s so cute, / hi-hay-dee, Look out, here comes the... Let’s give a salute. / hi-dee, ...master race! “HEIL MYSELF” And heil! / ho-dee! Springtime for Hitler and Germany, Roger Roger & Chorus Rhineland's a fine land Heil myself, Heil myself! once more! Heil to me, Springtime for Hitler and I’m the kraut who's out to Germany! change Watch out, Europe, Our history! “SPRINGTIME FOR We're going on tour! Heil myself, HITLER – PART II” Springtime for Hitler and Raise your hand, Germany, There's no greater dictator Roger in I was just a paper hanger, Chorus The land! No one more obscurer. Look, it's springtime! Everything I do, I do for Got a phone call from the you! Reichstag, Tenor / Chorus Told me I was fuhrer. Winter for Poland and Chorus Germany was blue, France. / ooohh! Yes, you do! THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 9

Oh, oh, what, oh, what to Chorus I should have known to do? Soon we'll be goin'... watch my ass! Hitched up my pants I feel like Othello, And conquered france. Roger Ev'rything is lost. Now Deutschland's smiling We've got to be goin'... Leo is Iago, through! Max is double-crossed! Oh, it ain't no myst'ry, Chorus I’m so dismayed, If it's politics or hist'ry. You know we'll be goin'... Did I mention I’m The thing you gotta know betrayed?! is, Roger Now I’m about to go to jail, Ev'rything is show biz. You bet we'll be goin'... There's no one who will Heil myself, Chorus pay my bail, Watch my show. You know we'll be going to I have no one who I can cry I’m the German Ethel war!!! to, Merman Aah!!! No one I can say goodbye Doncha know! to. We are crossing borders, My past's a dying ember, The new world order is But wait...now I remember. here. “RIO” How did it begin? Make a great big smile, He walked into my office Ev'ryone sieg heil to me, Members of the Hotel with his cockamamie Wonderful me! Band scheme. And now it's... You'll find your hap-pi-ness in Rio, (Imitating Leo) Chorus / Roger The beaches there are You can make more money Springtime for Hitler and / strewn with pearls, with a flop than with a hit. springtime… The tropic breezes always Germany! / blow there, (As Himself) And, so we hear, do the "We can do it, we can do Chorus / Roger girls! it!" Goose-step’s the new step / goose-step… (As Leo) Today! "I can't do it!" “BETRAYED” Chorus Men (As Himself) Bombs falling from the Max "We can do it!" skies again. Just like Cain and Abel, You pulled a sneak attack. (As Leo) Chorus I thought that we were "I can't do it!!" Goodbye, Deutschland is on the rise brothers, Max! again. Then you stabbed me in the back! (As Himself) Roger, Ulla & Chorus Betrayed! Lord, I want that money! Springtime for Hitler and Oh, boy, I’m so betrayed! Germany, Like Samson and Delilah, (As Leo) U-Boats are sailing once Your love began to fade. I’m back, Max! more. I’m crying in the hoosegow, Springtime for Hitler and You're in Rio getting laid! (As Himself) Germany! Betrayed! "Come on, Leo, we can do Let's face it, I’m betrayed! it!" Roger Boy, have I been taken, Step one, find the play!! Means that... Oy, I’m so forsaken! See it, smell it, touch it, I should have seen what kiss it, came to pass, Hello, Mister Liebkind. THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 10

"Guten tag hop hop, Would turn out to be my Max Guten tag clop clop!" Judas! Never met a man i ever Adolf Elizabeth Hitler? I’m so dismayed, trusted, "Guten tag hop hop, Is this how I’m repaid, Always dealt with shysters Guten tag clop clop!" To be... in the past. Step two, hire the director. Betrayed!! Now I’m well adjusted, "Keep it gay, keep it gay, Betrayed!! 'Cause I've got a friend at keep it..." last. Two-three, kick, turn, turn, turn, Little Old Ladies Kick, turn. “’TIL HIM” Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh Ulla! ahh ahh Ooo wah-wah-wah-wow Leo Ahh ahh ahh ahh! wow wowee! No one ever made me feel Step three, raise the like someone... Max money. 'Til him. Always playing singles, "Along came Bialy!" Life was really nothing but Never doubles... Step four, hire all the a glum one... 'Til him. actors. 'Til him. "A wandering minstrel I, My existence bordered on Little Old Ladies A thing of shreds and... the tragic, Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo! "Next! The little wooden Always timid, never took a boy. chance, Max Next! That's our Hitler! Then I felt his magic Never had a pal Break a leg! I broke my And my heart began to To share my troubles... leg! dance. 'Til him. "Springtime for Hitler and I was always frightened, Germany!" fraught with worry... Little Old Ladies A surprise smash! 'Til him. Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo! "Springtime for Hitler and I was going nowhere in a Germany!" hurry... Leo / Little Old Ladies It'll run for years! 'Til him. He filled up my empty life, / "Where did we go right, He filled up my empty life, Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh Where did we go right?" Filled it to the brim. ahh ahh! Gimme those books, There could never ever be Fat, fat, fatty! Another one...like him. Max & Leo Gimme those books, Filled it to the brim. Fat, fat, fatty! Max Books, fat, No one ever ever really Leo Books, fat, knew me... There could never ever be Books, fat, ...'til him. Another one...like him. Books, fat! Lousy fruit, Little Old Ladies Kill the actors, Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh! You ever eat with one?! “PRISONERS OF LOVE” Then you ran to Rio Max (Sing Sing & Broadway) And you're safely out of Everyone was always out reach, to screw me... Convict #1 I’m behind these bars, 'Til him. Gotta sing...sing! You're banging Ulla on the beach! Little Old Ladies Convict #2 Just like Julius Caesar Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh! Gotta sing...sing! Was betrayed by Brutus, Who'd think an accountant Franz THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 11

Oh you can lock us up und Blue skies above... / Let Roger, Ulla & All lose the key, ‘em hear you in solitary. Prisoners But hearts in love are Prisoners of love, always free, Leo & Convicts / Max Blue skies above, Come on boys! 'Cause we're still prisoners, 'Cause we're still / Take it home, boys! Prisoners... Convicts We're still prisoners We're still Prisoners of love, blue We're still prisoners of / We Prisoners... skies above open in Leavenworth We're still ‘cause we’re still prisoners on Prisoners of love! of love. Love!! / Saturday night! Love, love, love, Love, love, love, Leo Convicts Love, love, love, Congratulations, you now But hearts in love are Love, love, love! Love!!! own forty five percent of always free! “Prisoners of Love.” Next! (Beginning of “prisoners of Max love” (Broadway) scene.) How much have you sold so far? Ulla Gotta sing sing! “PRISONERS OF LOVE” Leo Sing sing! (Leo & Max) Six hundred percent. Ulla & Girl Prisoners Leo & Max Max, Franz & Convicts Prisoners of love, Leo and Max Prisoners of love, Blue skies above, Up off our backs, Blue skies above, Can't keep our hearts in Back on Can't keep our hearts in jail! The great white way! jail! Leo and Max Roger Back on our tracks, Convicts / Max Can't keep our hearts in We're back Prisoners of love, / That’s jail! On top to stay! it! So when we take your Our turtle doves / Okay, Ulla & Girl Prisoners money, just the murderers. Prisoners of love, Never fear, Soon coming ‘round with Our turtle doves... We'll knock Broadway bail! Right on its ear! Roger The cast is great, Guard / Max & Convicts Soon coming 'round with The script is swell, Hey, you, the warden / Oh, bail! But this we're tellin' you, you can lock us up, sirs, Wants to get in on this Ulla & Girl Prisoners It's just no go, you got no thing. / And lose the key. Tote that bale! show, Without the producers! Leo / Max & Convicts Roger & Male Prisoners We'll never quit, Tell the warden he now Oh, you can lock us up, Hit after hit... owns / But hearts in love And lose the key, 100% of "Prisoners of Chorus Love"! / Are always free! All The producers, But hearts in love Leo & Max! Max & Convicts / Leo Are always free! Ahh... Prisoners of love, / Sing on, fellas.

THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 12

“THERE’S NOTHING And when you reach the Guten tag clop clop, LIKE A SHOW ON bathroom Ach du leiber BROADWAY” The line is five miles long Und oh boy! Guten tag clap clap, Leo Leo Guten tag slap slap, The overture is over But still … Ach du lieber The curtain starts to rise There’s nothing like a show Vat a joy! You’re suddenly in clover Ve essen und fressen You can’t believe your eyes Leo & Max Und tanzen und trinken, You’re sitting on the aisle There’s nothing like a Tanzen und trinken You break into a smile Broadway show Until ve get stinkin'! Why this magic feeling? So ve hop our hops, Then you realize Max Und ve clop our clops, That there is nothing like a You swear you’ll never go Und ve drink our schnapps show on Broadway again 'Til ve plotz! Nothing like a Broadway It’s simply not worthwhile Ve drink our schnapps show 'Til ve plotz! Hearts will skip a beat on Leo Ach du lieber Broadway You make that vow Vat a joy! If you’re feeling blue And then somehow Ve essen und fressen I’m telling you Und tanzen und trinken, That’s the place to go Leo & Max Tanzen und trinken Movies drag, their endings You’re back there on the Until ve get stinkin'! sag aisle Stinkin'! Stinkin'! TV’s just a bore That’s why there’s Guten tag hop hop, So hit the street Nothing like a show on Guten tag clop clop, And move your feet Broadway Guten tag (*my lieben To the place we all adore shots), Because there’s nothing Leo So ve hop our hops, like a show on Broadway There’s nothing like a Und ve clop our clops, There’s nothing like a Broadway show Und ve drink our schnapps Broadway show 'Til ve plotz! Max Ve drink our schnapps Max ‘Til you’re in movies 'Til ve plotz! It’s often been said Oooooo… The theatre is dead Leo The critics repeat it en There’s nothing like a Don’t forget to buy Mein masse Broadway show Kampf in paperback. But the theatre’s alive Available near you at It’s gonna survive Max Barnes and Noble, Borders Although it’s a pain in the And though it is expensive Books und Amazon dot ass at a hundred bucks a throw com. You waited forever And finally got tickets Leo & Max Guten tag… To get your seat, you gotta There’s nothing like a “GOODBYE!” cross pickets Broadway show! The guy to your right Leo Is frightfully tight Thanks for coming to see The guy to your left our show! appears to have rickets “THE HOP-CLOP GOES The music’s yuck ON” Ulla The lyrics suck Sad to tell you we got to The casting is all wrong Franz go. Guten tag hop hop, THE PRODUCERS Lyrics as in Film 13

Franz Grab your hat und head for the door.

Roger & Carmen In case you didn't notice, There ain't anymore!

Team & Sabu If you like our show, Tell everyone, but,

Max If you think it stinks, Keep your big mouth shut!

Accountants We're glad you came, But we have to shout,

Members of the Hotel Band Adios!

Bum & Bag Lady Au revoir!

Franz, Prison Trustee & Convicts Wiedersehen!

Storm Troopers Ta-ta-ta!

Marks Goodbye!

Hold Me-Touch Me, Kiss Me-Feel Me, & Lick Me- Bite Me Get lost!

Mel Brooks Get out! It’s over.