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Volume 128, Number 10 Cambridge, Massachusetts 02139 Friday, March 7, 2008 Profs Debate Merits of Follett Is Fourth MIT Student Tasty Pancakes, Yummy To Star in ‘Beauty and the Geek’ By Ramya Sankar Pastries; No One Wins Staff Reporter Another “Beauty and the Geek” By Yuri Hanada The hamentash team won the coin season is about to begin, and another Staff Reporter toss (actually a ramen-noodle-package MIT contestant is ready to show off Mob psychology, a conversation toss) and charitably opted to let the latke his talents. with an intelligent computer, and audi- team speak first. Three MIT students have ap- ence participation all numbered among peared on the CW Television Net- the tactics used by six MIT professors Classical latke mechanics work reality show in the past, and Wednesday evening at MIT Hillel’s Dourmashkin opened by demon- Christopher L. Follett G will become Sixth Annual Latke vs. Hamentashen strating the sinking and floating prop- the fourth when the fifth season be- Debate. erties of the potato and latke, which he gins next Tuesday. Termed the “intellectual highlight kept in his shirt pocket. The differences “Beauty and the Geek,” allegedly of the MIT year” by moderator Jeremy between potato and latke properties the “ultimate social experiment,” Wolfe PhD ’81, Department of Brain were further exemplified by Galileo’s tries to play off the stereotypes of and Cognitive Sciences senior lecturer, breakthrough, where the scientist real- good-looking women and socially the heated debate pits two Jewish deli- ized that both fall to the ground at the inept men for audience laughs and a cacies against one another: the latke, a same rate. $250,000 prize. The show relies on fried potato pancake often served dur- Dourmashkin said that the phrase talent and knowledge contests that ing Hanukkah, and the hamentash, a “Your Latke,” often mistakenly pro- explore the audience’s preconceived, three-sided, fruit-filled cookie tradition- nounced as “Eureka,” is attributed negative notions of the labels “beau- ally eaten during Purim. falsely to Archimedes. Dourmashkin ty” and “geek.” Defending the latke were Peter concluded by explaining the associa- What makes a geek? The ste- A. Dourmashkin ’76, Department of tion of pi with latkes — and he added reotypical geek, as portrayed by the Physics senior lecturer, Stephen W. Van that the hamentash can only be associ- likes of Screech on the hit TV show Evera, Professor of Political Science, ated with the square root of three, “an “Saved by the Bell,” is usually a and Patrick H. Winston, Professor of ugly number.” gawkish intellectual. Follett begs to Electrical Engineering and Computer differ. He says he thinks of a “geek” Science. For the hamantash were Erik A project-based paradigm for as a person who is “really passionate D. Demaine, Associate Professor of pedagogy from pastries about math or science and is really Electrical Engineering and Computer Epstein spoke first for the hamen- good at it.” He finds it a compliment, Science, Ari W. Epstein PhD ’95, Terra- tash side with a presentation on “The and he says MIT is full of geeks. Eric Schmiedl—The Tech Christopher L. Follett G will appear on the fifth season of “Beauty and scope lecturer, and Hazel Sive, Profes- So how does a “geek” get on a the Geek” which premieres Tuesday, March 11 on the CW. sor of Biology. Latke-Hamentashen, Page 12 reality TV show? For Follett, it was a little arbitrary. He was approached by felt rewarded because he met new lightly.” one of the show’s casting staff after people. The show “has opened my Reactions from his friends and his performance in the MIT Gilbert mind towards a group of people I family have been positive, Follett and Sullivan Players’ HMS Pinafore. would normally never be in contact said. In fact, his girlfriend encour- A running joke among the musical’s with,” Follett said. aged him to accept an offer to appear cast had been that Follett should take Asked if he would do it again on the show. part in the reality TV show — and knowing what he knows now, he said Follett admitted to having he did, after an audition in Boston, a “I probably wouldn’t.” But, he add- watched “Beauty and the Geek” be- videotaped audition, and a Los An- ed, because of what the experience fore, season two to be exact. When geles visit. taught him about people, skipping it Follett was a prospective freshman, Although Follett said he thought would have been a mistake. he met Ankur M. Mehta ’03, who be- the show would just be a “light “Being on reality television is a came a contestant in season two, and amusing experience,” he soon found very cool experience,” Follett said as he watched Mehta on the show. it to be more intense than he had ex- advice to future “Geeks” out there. pected. Despite the surprise, he still “It will be intense. Don’t take it Follett, Page 10 In Short ¶¶Nobel laureate Carl E. Wieman Robert M. Wells ’08 ’73 will give a talk for MacVicar Day 2008 today in 32-123 from Robert M. Wells ’08 was sociable and per- 3:30–5 p.m. The 2008 MacVicar severant, always interested in making friends Faculty Fellows, honored for excel- and focusing his — and their — full efforts lence in teaching, will be announced into new things. at a faculty reception following the Wells, 22, who died of a fall this past Sat- talk. urday, “was a very likable guy,” remembered his advisor, Edward A. Gibson. ¶¶The food trucks near Bldg. 68 Naturally gregarious, Wells made friends will be unavailable today because easily among the Brain and Cognitive Sci- of the groundbreaking for the Koch ences department. “I feel like he could make Institute for Cancer Research. The friends with anyone,” said Abigail M. Clark trucks will return Monday. ’09. “I enjoyed being around him.” Wells brought candy to office hours and ¶¶Physical education registration “really tied the group together” when they collaborated, she said. One is now open. Register online at time, when a particularly tough statistics test was coming up, he helped a http://web.mit.edu/athletics/www/ group get through a marathon study session that lasted nearly 24 hours. physed/ before next Wednesday, “It’s such a cliche,” said former men’s water polo coach Felix Mer- March 12. Fourth quarter PE classes cado, “but everyone loves him.” “He had the best personality,” said Mer- begin April 2. cado, who coached the team in fall 2004 when Wells first came to MIT from the small town of Ballston Spa, New York. ¶¶Campus Preview Weekend is Wells hadn’t done water polo before college, but he gave it a shot join- Dhaval Adjodah April 10–13. Register an event or ing the varsity team two weeks before his first semester at the Institute. A latke mascot (Matthew S. Cons ’08) and a hamentashen mascot offer to host a prospective freshman (Lindsey A. Pete ’08) duke it out before Wednesday’s annual Latke- at http://web.mit.edu/admissions/ Wells, Page 10 Hamentashen Debate held in 26-100. mitcpw/.

It’s that time Comics Ar t s / Ca m p u s Li f e World & Nation ��2 again! Set your ‘Ask A TA’ gets an e-mail! Opinion ��4 clocks forward Page 5 Campus Life ��5 one hour for Jhumpa Lahiri’s latest book Un- Comics / Fun Pages ��6 DST this Sunday accustomed Earth is captivating Arts ��8 at 2 a.m. Page 6 Page 8 Sports ��16 Page 2 The Tech March 7, 2008 Wo r l d & Na t i o n Senate Votes to Strengthen Democrats Seek Compromise Product Safety Commission By Stephen Labaton The New York Times WASHINGTON To Seat Disputed Delegates Responding to a wave of defective toys and other goods, the Senate approved a measure on Thursday that would overhaul the country’s By John M. Broder caucuses of other states. The Clinton confidence after primary victories in consumer product laws and strengthen the beleaguered safety agency The New York Times campaign is hoping she can translate Ohio and Texas this week, signaled that oversees the marketplace. WASHINGTON her advantage in the popular vote in that they were open to a re-vote under Besides increasing the staff and budget of the Consumer Product With the two Democratic presi- Florida and Michigan into a big share certain conditions. Aides to Obama Safety Commission, the legislation would create a public database of dential candidates in near-deadlock of their combined 367 delegates. were a bit warier, sensing that the complaints about products and empower state prosecutors to act if they and battling for every delegate, party The fate of those disputed del- recent change in the electoral and think the federal government is not doing enough to protect consum- leaders and the rival campaigns started egates has emerged as a battleground psychological dynamic could work ers. searching in earnest on Thursday for a between them that could be as impor- against him in any new election in If the bill became law, it would be the first major consumer product way to seat delegations from Florida tant as their next big primary battle, those two states, Democrats said. legislation in 18 years, enacted as federal regulators struggle to cope and Michigan. But they remained in Pennsylvania in April. But though In the contests in January, Clinton with the explosive growth of foreign imports, particularly from coun- deeply divided over how to do so. the states, the party and the candidates prevailed in Florida by 50 to 33 per- tries with few significant safety standards. After weeks in which the issue have all suggested that they have no cent over Obama. In Michigan, where The Senate bill, which was supported by consumer groups, was hovered in the background, it shot to choice but to find a solution and that Obama’s name was not on the ballot, adopted 79-13. It now heads to a conference committee to be recon- the forefront of the Democratic race as they are open to another round of vot- Clinton took 55 percent of the vote ciled with a more modest measure that was endorsed by the White it became apparent that the delegates ing, much remains to be settled, includ- while “uncommitted” won 40 percent. House and major manufacturers and was unanimously passed in De- at stake could be vital in influencing ing what kind of contests to hold, when “We haven’t ruled out rerunning cember by the House. whether Sen. Barack Obama or Sen. to hold them, how to allocate the del- these contests,” said Harold Ickes, a Hillary Rodham Clinton wins the egates and, critically, who picks up the top adviser to Clinton and her chief nomination. multimillion-dollar tab in each state. delegate hunter. “We’ve said we think German Authorities Report Clinton won the most votes in pri- “I’ll leave it up to the Democratic it should be settled. We believe some maries held in Florida and Michigan in National Committee to make a deci- configuration could be devised that Problems With Blood Thinner January. But the states held their con- sion about how to resolve it,” Obama each party is not happy with but each By Gardiner Harris tests earlier than allowed by the Demo- told ABC News on Thursday night. party is willing to accept.” and Walt Bogdanich cratic National Committee’s rules, “But I certainly want to make sure Even if Florida and Michigan con- The New York Times WASHINGTON leading the party to strip them of their that we’ve got Michigan and Florida duct new elections, it is unlikely that Concerns about the safety of the blood thinner heparin spread to delegates to the nominating conven- delegates at the convention in some either candidate will have enough Germany on Thursday after drug authorities there received reports of tion. Neither candidate campaigned fashion.” pledged delegates to win the nomina- patients being sickened after getting the drug. actively in the two states, and Obama The campaigns are not negotiat- tion outright, advisers to both cam- Meanwhile, Food and Drug Administration officials announced was not on the ballot in Michigan. ing with each other, but are talking paigns say. But their relative strength that they were asking all companies in the United States that produce Obama has maintained a slim but through surrogates and party leaders in pledged delegates could affect their heparin to test it with two new procedures. steady lead over Clinton in delegates about a variety of options. ability to attract support from super- The complex tests, nuclear magnetic resonance spectroscopy and awarded by voting in the primaries and Aides to Clinton, brimming with delegates. capillary electrophoresis, are the only ones that can uncover whether the drug contains a possibly counterfeit ingredient. Dr. Janet Woodcock, deputy FDA commissioner, said that the agency would post instructions online for how to conduct the tests. Gunman Kills Eight in Attack on FDA officials said Wednesday that a possibly counterfeit ingredient had been found in certain batches of heparin linked to at least 19 deaths in the United States and more than 700 severe allergic reac- Famous Seminary in Jerusalem tions. Federal officials said they could not yet say that the contaminant, By Steven Erlanger It was the deadliest attack on situation for Palestinian President which mimics real heparin, caused the reactions. and Isabel Kershner Israeli civilians in nearly two years Mahmoud Abbas of Fatah. The New York Times and the first attack inside Jerusalem Abbas originally suspended con- JERUSALEM in four years. It occurred at the start tacts and peace talks with Israel in- GOP Has Edge in Fundraising A gunman entered a famous Jew- of the Hebrew month in which the definitely; after a plea from Secretary By Leslie Wayne ish seminary in the heart of Jerusa- Purim holiday occurs, and many of of State Condoleezza Rice to keep The New York Times WASHINGTON lem on Thursday night, killing at the witnesses said that at first they talking, he agreed on Wednesday to For all the success that Democratic presidential candidates have least eight students and wounding at thought the gunfire was firecrackers return to negotiations, but refused to had in raising money — taking in a combined total of more than $500 least nine others, three of them seri- in celebration. say when. million in the current race — the Republicans are beating them in ously, the Israeli police said. Only one gunman appeared to Abbas condemned Thursday’s one crucial area of fundraising: the money being raised by the parties In a scene of havoc and confusion be involved, and he was killed at the shootings. themselves. while the students prayed, the gun- scene by a part-time student and se- In Gaza, the radical Islamic The Democratic National Committee ended 2007 nearly flat broke, man killed two people at the entrance curity officers. movement Hamas did not take re- with cash of $2.9 million and debts of $2.2 million. Since then it has to the Mercaz Harav yeshiva and But the attack came at a time of sponsibility for Thursday’s attack in raised some money, paid down debt and managed to put $3.7 mil- then entered the first-floor library, increased Israeli-Palestinian tension, Jerusalem but praised it. In a text lion in its piggy bank. This compares, however, with $25 million that spraying Kalashnikov rifle fire into after a spate of violence in the Gaza message, Hamas said: “We bless the the Republican National Committee has in cash on hand, after having the students there, according to the Strip. Thursday’s killings drew criti- operation. It will not be the last.” raised $97 million since the beginning of 2007. Israeli police. cism from President Bush and the Mark Regev, spokesman for Ol- And with Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., now the presumptive Re- The gunman, who has not yet United Nations and are bound to put mert, said that “tonight’s massacre publican nominee, party officials started plotting with his campaign been identified, was thought to be ei- more pressure on Prime Minister in Jerusalem is a defining moment.” this week on deploying those resources against the well-financed ther a Palestinian or an Israeli Arab Ehud Olmert to respond with force. He said that “the same warped and Democratic candidacies of Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D- N.Y., living inside Jerusalem. The dead The violence Gaza has led to unrest extremist ideology behind tonight’s and Barack Obama, D-Ill. were thought to be mostly between in the occupied West Bank as well massacre is also behind the daily 20 and 30 years of age. and further complicated the political rocket barrages in the south.” We a t h e r Soggy Saturday Situation for Noon Eastern Standard Time, Friday, March 7, 2008

By Cegeon J. Chan 130°W 125°W 120°W 115°W 110°W 105°W 100°W 95°W 90°W 85°W 80°W 75°W 70°W 65°W 60°W Staff Meteorologist 40°N There have been eight straight weekends in Boston with at least one drop of precipitation. This weekend will certainly be no exception. Although it is sunny during the daytime hours today, rain will be moving in later tonight. Not only will this possibly impact your Friday night plans, but due to the size of the precipitating region, this storm will also rain-in on your Saturday night 35°N activities as well. Most storms generally track west to east. However, this particular one starts out in Georgia and moves northward. With the storm aligned north- 1038 south, this sets us up for a prolonged rainstorm. Most computer models are predicting over 2.5 inches of rain. To put this in perspective, statistically, Bos- 30°N ton receives only about one storm a year with that amount or more. On the flip side, in one of the drier areas of the U.S., Yuma, AZ receives only a measly 3.2” for the entire year. After the storm moves out, Sunday will be sunny and 1000 definitely a better day to be outside. 25°N Extended Forecast Today: Mostly sunny in the afternoon, but partly sunny by evening. Highs in the mid 40s°F (8°C). Tonight: Rain with periods of heavy rain. Lows in the mid 30s°F (1°C). Northeast winds 15 to 20 mph. Tomorrow: Rain in the morning with intermittent showers in the afternoon. Highs in the lower 40s°F (6°C). Weather Systems Weather Fronts Precipitation Symbols Other Symbols Tomorrow night: Rain but even heavier. Low around 30°F (-1°C). Snow Rain Fog High Pressure Trough Sunday: Sunny and windy. Highs in the lower 40s°F (6°C). - - - Showers Thunderstorm

Q Q Q Q Warm Front Light Low Pressure Haze LLLLL Cold Front Moderate Compiled by MIT Hurricane Q Q Meteorology Staff L L Stationary Front Heavy and The Tech March 7, 2008 Wo r l d & Na t i o n The Tech Page 3

Blasts Kill at Least Fifty-Four U.S. Park Recreation Fees Rise To Cover Firefighting Costs In Baghdad Shopping District By Jim Robbins The New York Times HAMILTON, Mont. By Richard A. Oppel Jr. A shoe salesman who would bomb was hidden in a trash can. The Reeling from the high cost of fighting wildfires, federal land agen- and Mohammed Obaidi identify himself only by his first second explosion may have been cies have been imposing new fees and increasing existing ones at rec- The New York Times name, Hatam, said the first bomb from a vest worn by a suicide bomb- reation sites across the West in an effort to raise tens of millions of BAGHDAD slammed him to the ground. He got er, the U.S. military said. dollars. Two bombs struck a bustling up, looked behind him, and rushed One witness said a man on a mo- Additionally, hundreds of marginally profitable campsites and other shopping district in the heart of to aid a woman whose leg had been torcycle carried the bomb into the public facilities on federal lands have been closed, and thousands more, Baghdad on Thursday evening, ripped off by the blast. crowd. But other witnesses inter- from overlooks to picnic tables, are being considered for removal. turning display windows and cabi- “We managed to drag her away viewed later said the second bomb “As fire costs increase, I’ve got less and less money for other pro- nets and glass shelves into deadly from the spot, and then the police had been planted there previously. grams,” said Dave Bull, superintendent of the Bitterroot National For- shrapnel and killing 54 people and came really quickly, and they were In the chaos that followed the est here in Hamilton. The charge for access to Lake Como, a popular wounding 123 more, the Iraqi au- shouting at the people to move back attacks, Iraqi security forces fired boating destination in the national forest, will be increased this year to thorities said. because there might be another ex- Kalashnikov rifles in the air to $5 from $2. The attack, in the Karrada plosion,” he said. “But the people warn people away. But many people Last year, the Forest Service collected $60 million in fees nation- neighborhood, was the worst in the didn’t listen, and even some of the pushed forward anyway to search for wide, nearly double the $32 million in 2000. The Bureau of Land Man- capital since early February, when policemen who were already there family members feared dead. agement, the country’s biggest landlord, also doubled its revenues over bombings killed almost 100 people didn’t pay attention, and that is when The attack “was like an electric the same period, to more than $14 million from $7 million. The agency at two Baghdad pet markets, and it the second explosion happened.” shock, it happened so suddenly no- projects revenues from the fees will grow an additional $1 million this reinforced fears that insurgents can This time, Hatam said, he walked body could avoid it,” said Abu Ab- year. still carry out devastating attacks in away. “I couldn’t go back again,” he dullah, who operates a kebab stand Though the new and increased fees still account for a small portion well-guarded areas. While violence said. “The scene was so horrible, near the scene. “Some people were of the agencies’ overall budgets, they have riled elected officials and has fallen sharply from last year, and I lost the energy to see dead burning, and I saw some without environmental and recreation groups across the West. The critics com- bomb attacks in Baghdad have risen people.” legs.” plain that there has been insufficient public involvement in the changes in recent weeks. The explosions sprayed chunks Insurgents struck in the north this — imposed at hundreds of locations over the past three years or so — There were no immediate claims of human flesh for 50 yards. The week, Iraqi authorities in Mosul said and suggest they reflect a significant shift in federal policy to a market- of responsibility. But the attackers second bomb, about 10 minutes af- Thursday, attacking guards at Ba- based approach from one of managing sites for public benefit. used an old tactic to maximize cater the first, killed more people. A doosh Prison, killing one guard and sualties: detonating one bomb and number of Iraqi soldiers and police wounding another with an impro- then setting off a second blast to kill officers who rushed in after the first vised bomb as they patrolled nearby. ECB, Britain Hold Rates Steady passers-by and emergency services attack were among the dead and The bodies of four more guards who By David Jolly workers who rush to the scene to aid wounded. had been kidnapped the previous The New York Times the victims. Some witnesses said the first day were found Thursday. The European Central Bank and the Bank of England left their interest rates unchanged on Thursday, highlighting their differences with the Federal Reserve in the United States. The European Central Bank left its rate at 4 percent and the British Credit Crisis Grows As Investors central bank stood pat at 5.25 percent. Both moves had been widely expected. In contrast to the Fed, Jean-Claude Trichet, the president of the Eu- Become More Risk-Averse ropean Central Bank, and Mervyn King, the governor of the Bank of England, appear confident that growth is strong enough and inflation- By Floyd Norris was reported and two financial com- Charpin, a strategist at UBS, wrote ary pressures pressing enough to justify current policy. The New York Times panies that had relied on borrowed last week. The Bank of England kept rates steady because “growth is holding The credit markets came under money said they were unable to raise At the end of last year, Carlyle up,” said Dominic Bryant, senior European economist at BNP Paribas renewed stress on Thursday as in- the cash demanded by their lenders. Capital had $21.76 billion in assets, in London. The situation on the Continent is a little more complicated, vestors sought absolute safety and Both Carlyle Capital, a company of which $21.69 billion had been he said, because two euro-zone countries — Spain and Italy — were even moved away from debt issued sponsored by the Carlyle Group, pledged as collateral against loans. It sharply slowing. Nonetheless, he said, there is little chance that the by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, a major private equity fund, and had borrowed $31 for every dollar of ECB will lower rates before the second half of the year. the government-sponsored mortgage Thornburg Mortgage, the second- equity, and even a $150 million line Ben S. Bernanke PhD ’79, the chairman of the Fed, has declared lending enterprises. largest independent mortgage lender of credit from its parent, the Carlyle a weakening economy to be a greater threat than inflation. The Fed is The intensifying credit crisis in the United Statesafter Country- Group, was not enough to keep it out widely expected to cut rates by as much as three-quarters of a point at came as one regulator, Timothy F. wide, said they had been unable to of trouble as lenders demanded more its next meeting on March 18. Geithner, the president of the Federal meet the demands and had defaulted collateral to back up their loans. Reserve Bank of New York, said that on some obligations. Their stock Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, some banks had moved from being prices plunged. whose debt has been viewed as al- Under Power-Sharing Agreement, too willing to take on risks to being As the economy grew through most as safe as that of the govern- reluctant to take any chance of losing most of this decade, much of the ment itself, have played an essential Kenyan Parliament Convenes money, a move that was making the growth was fueled by borrowing, role in keeping the mortgage markets By Jeffrey Gettleman crisis worse. both by individuals taking out mort- functioning. That is because many The New York Times NAIROBI, Kenya “The rational actions taken by gages and by investors who sought mortgage companies have gone out The Kenyan Parliament met for the first time on Thursday since a even the strongest financial institu- high returns through highly lever- of business and investors have been power-sharing deal was struck to end a political crisis that had plunged tions to reduce exposure to future aged investments. Some of those unwilling to buy mortgage-backed the country into chaos. losses have caused significant col- investments are now unraveling be- securities unless the government, or Politicians from the ruling party and the opposition spoke sweet lateral damage to market function- cause lenders will not lend enough one of the enterprises, guaranteed words of unity — but the top leaders continued to sit apart from one ing,” Geithner said in a speech to the money to enable investors to hold on the mortgages. another in the chamber. Council of Foreign Relations. “This, to them. That reluctance forces the The difference between the yield “Honorable members, you must now become the ambassadors of in turn, has intensified the liquidity sale of investments, which lowers on long-term debt guaranteed by peace and reconciliation,” President Mwai Kibaki told the lawmakers. problems for a wide range of bank prices and makes lenders even less Fannie Mae and that of similar Trea- “Please forget the history of what has happened, not because you want and nonbank financial institutions.” willing to risk their capital. sury debt rose to its largest level in to put it aside, but because you want to do something much better.” Those liquidity problems intensi- “Leverage is acceptable in a more than 20 years, providing a new The lawmakers — who include 21 women, a record here — now fied Thursday as a new increase in stable economic environment, but sign of the nervousness that has af- begin the difficult work of executing the much-anticipated and possibly the number of mortgage foreclosures not in an economic crisis,” Geraud fected financial markets. awkward power-sharing deal. Under it, the top opposition leader, Raila Odinga, becomes prime minister and the ruling party and opposition divide the Cabinet posts. Notorious Russian Arms Dealer This was the deal to bring back peace to Kenya, which had been considered one of the most stable countries in Africa before the violence of recent months. On Thursday, Kibaki urged the Parliament to swiftly pass the legis- Arrested in American-Led Sting lation needed to turn the political agreement into law. Lawmakers on By David Johnston also arrested in Bangkok on Thurs- Thailand, said Police Col. Petcharat both sides have predicted more skirmishes over the next few weeks as and Seth Mydans day, to stand trial in the United States Sengchai of the Crime Suppression they negotiate how much power Odinga actually gets and how Cabinet The New York Times on a charge of conspiracy to provide Division in Bangkok, who led the positions are reassigned. WASHINGTON material support to a foreign terror- arresting team.A criminal complaint A Russian businessman regarded ist organization. Although American unsealed in Manhattan said the plans by the United States as one of the officials said Thailand appeared to for a meeting with Bout in Thailand Grand Canyon’s Age world’s most notorious arms dealers be eager to be rid of Bout, it was not had taken shape after earlier meet- was arrested in Thailand on Thurs- known when he would be brought to ings, most of them conducted by Placed at 17 Million Years day as part of an American-led sting the United States. Smulian, with informants posing as By John Noble Wilford operation. He was promptly charged Michael J. Garcia, the U.S. attor- FARC members in the Netherlands The New York Times in the United States with conspiracy ney for the Southern District of New Antilles, Denmark, and Romania. Coming upon the Grand Canyon long ago, an old prospector is sup- for attempting to smuggle missiles York, said that Bout “was appre- The conversations were secretly re- posed to have said in amazement, “Something awful happened here.” and rocket launchers to rebels in Co- hended in the final stages of arrang- corded by drug enforcement agents. The something appears to have started happening some 17 million lombia. ing the sale of millions of dollars of The actual size of the deal was not years ago, geologists concluded in a study reported in Friday’s issue of The businessman, Viktor Bout, high-powered weapons to people he made clear from the documents the journal Science. If correct, that is at least 11 million years earlier 41, is suspected of supplying weap- believed represent a known terrorist released by the government, but than previous estimates. ons to the Taliban and al-Qaida and organization, the FARC.” the complaint indicated that Bout By dating mineral deposits inside caves up and down the canyon of pouring huge arms shipments into The FARC is a leftist insurgency planned to charge a $5 million deliv- walls, the geologists said they determined the water levels over time, Africa’s civil wars with his own pri- that has been fighting Colombia’s ery fee to transport the surface-to-air as erosion carved out the mile-deep canyon as it is known today. They vate air fleet. He was arrested by the government for decades and is be- missiles and armor piercing rocket concluded that the canyon started from the west, then another formed Thai authorities at a hotel in Bangkok lieved to finance its activities in part launchers to South America. from the east, and the two broke through and met as a single majestic in an operation in which undercover through cocaine trafficking. The American officials have long rent in the Earth some 6 million years ago. investigators posing as rebels from FARC has been identified in the U.S. publicly identified Bout as a rogue Previous theories had posited 6 million years as the earliest age for the Revolutionary Armed Forces of criminal code as a foreign terrorist weapons smuggler who profited the beginning of the entire Grand Canyon of the Colorado River. Colombia, or FARC, sought to pur- group and aiding such a group is a mainly from arms dealing that fueled The new research was conducted by geologists at the University of chase millions of dollars in arms. crime. bloody conflicts in Africa. He was New Mexico, led by Victor Polyak. The researchers, supported by the Federal prosecutors in New York The arrest was set in motion by said to have built a shadowy network National Science Foundation, used an improved uranium-lead dating said they would seek the extradition the U.S. Drug Enforcement Admin- of air cargo companies in the Middle technique, which yields ages of mineral back tens to hundreds of mil- of Bout (pronounced boot) and an istration, which alerted the Thai au- East, Africa, Eastern Europe and the lion years. associate, Andrew Smulian, who was thorities that Bout was traveling to United States. Page 4 The Tech March 7, 2008 Op i n i o n Letters To The Editor natives in the meantime, thank you. erations. Chairman Decisions are Hard, Sarah C. Hopp ’08 Administrative inefficiency and incompeten- Benjamin P. Gleitzman ’09 Let’s Go to an All You cy have also led to many poor policy decisions. Editor in Chief Tech’s Suicide The 2007 Baker House Dining Report revealed a Nick Semenkovich ’09 remarkably unprofitable business that MIT Din- Can Eat Dining Hall ing claimed as a huge success. Why are we build- Business Manager This letter is in response to Kevin Wang’s Implications ing a new dining hall no more than 100 feet away Austin Chu ’08 March 4, 2008 column, “Not Even Fit For a from two other ones operating with $500,000 in Last Meal”: Inappropriate losses each year? Does anyone else wonder why Managing Editor After years of coddling and spoon-feeding The Tech should apologize for its blatant MIT Housing must continually raise rental rates Jessica Witchley ’10 by helicopter parents, it’s no great surprise that front-page suggestions that the death of Rob- even though they are not subject to property taxes Executive Editor MIT students are overwhelmed by their new- ert M. Wells ’08 was a suicide. With no evi- and are guaranteed a full set of residents? It must Michael McGraw-Herdeg ’08 found freedoms upon arriving in Cambridge. dence, they make implications that compound be the outrageous cable rates (without ESPN). All-you-can-eat dining halls seem like a the suffering of Mr. Wells’s friends and family. Isn’t it time that the administration operate under News Staff pretty sweet idea. As we all know, as the vol- The facts of such tragedies are determined by a meritocracy like the rest of MIT? Editor: Nick Bushak ’10; Associate Editors: ume of food increases, so does quality — or licensed professionals, and The Tech can report Most disenchanting is the MIT administra- JiHye Kim ’10, Arkajit Dey ’11, Jeff Guo ’11, maybe I have that backwards? I can’t seem on these facts when available. In the interim, tion’s propensity to disregard Student, Alumni, Ryan Ko ’11, Natasha Plotkin ’11, Emily Prentice to remember; perhaps I’ve been letting adults instead of wild speculations, they should stick and Faculty (SAF) input. Many administrative ’11; Staff: Waseem S. Daher G, Curt Fischer think for me too long. to publishing the facts and perhaps the thoughts decisions are dishonestly and arrogantly ex- G, Ray C. He G, John A. Hawkinson ’98, Jiao Man, its so hard when I have to make deci- of the people who actually knew Mr. Wells (all plained only after being made. MIT communi- Wang ’08, Daniela Cako ’09, Mei-Hsin Cheng sions about where to eat, especially lunch! It of whom seem to agree that this was an unfor- ty input is vital to the Institute’s well being and ’09, Diana Jue ’09, Ji Qi ’09, Kirtana Raja ’09, sucks that I might have to decide between Mid- tunate accident). is not something you can put a bandage on with Yiwei Zhang ’09, Yi Zhou ’09, Yuri Hanada ’10, Joyce Kwan ’10, Manisha Padi ’10, Joanne Y. dle-Eastern or Japanese cuisine, when at any Amal K. Dorai G an after-the-fact blue-ribbon committee. A lack Shih ’10, Yan Huang ’11, Elijah Jordan Turner other school I could just go get a plate full of Editor’s Note: After careful consideration, of input leads to the erosion of MIT’s culture. ’11, Lulu Wang ’11; Meteorologists: Cegeon the all-American meat and potatoes of the day. The Tech decided to investigate substantial Numerous articles have discussed the adminis- Chan G, Jon Moskaitis G, Michael J. Ring G, I would definitely sit down to eat a 6-course concerns, including some from Wells’s friends, tration’s hypocritical stance on hacking, prais- Roberto Rondanelli G, Scott Stransky G, Brian meal during my lunch break THAT DOESN’T that Wells’s death was a suicide. The Tech’s ing it as a defining piece of MIT culture, yet H. Tang G, John K. Williams G, Angela Zalucha EXIST. Huh, maybe all those options are scat- reporting balanced the thoughts of those who taking students to court for their involvement G, Garrett P. Marino ’08, Mike Yee ’08. tered around campus so I can grab food when knew Wells best — his friends and fraternity in hacks. The administration is able to get away Production Staff I can, instead of picking leaves off the trees brothers — with Wells’s own writings. with ludicrous polices because of student turn- in the Stata Amphitheater. It’s almost as if all over and lack of Institutional memory. I want Editor: Steve Howland ’11; Staff: K. Nichole Treadway ’10, Yue Li ’11, Mark Thompson ’11, those options are actually meant to cater to Calling for a to emphasize that this is alarmingly disrespect- Mark Yen ’11. busy student schedules! ful to students. After boasting that the world’s And dude, those kitchens are so annoy- future leaders are on MIT’s campus, to ignore Opinion Staff ing. I don’t use them, so clearly nobody else Technocracy their sentiments when making decisions that Editor: Aditya Kohli ’09; Staff: Josh Levinger does either. Oh, there are entire floor cultures Being a laissez-faire student activist for al- affect them is either extremely hypocritical or ’07, Ali S. Wyne ’08, Krishna Gupta ’09. based around cooking? That’s weird. Well, the most five years at MIT, I’ve come to notice a just plain dumb. Why would students join the fact that I could pay triple in an AYCE dining disturbing trend from the MIT administration. W1 committee when their votes will be out- Sports Staff hall what I would pay for ingredients myself This statement is nothing new to regular read- numbered by the committee’s administrators? Editor: Shreyes Seshasai ’08; Staff: James is clear proof that dining hall food is better, ers of The Tech, but the seriousness of the issue It’s time to start solving these problems with Zorich ’08, Albert Ni ’09. right? I really like waiting in line a half-hour calls for repetition. a community driven, 21st Century adaptation Arts Staff for a plate of heat-lamped pasta. It makes me It’s clear that MIT’s administration is operat- of democracy, or “technocracy.” Editors: Sarah Dupuis ’10, Praveen Rathinavelu hungrier and the food tastier, which is a good ing with unchecked authority. Senior adminis- There must be administrative transparency ’10; Staff: Bogdan Fedeles G, Andrew Lee ’07, thing, because it might not be edible I weren’t trators are able to create unwarranted flag poli- and metrics for success. All substantial admin- Alice Macdonald ’08, Tyson C. McNulty ’08, S. famished. And then there are those pesky de- cies that contradict existing fire codes, enforce istrative initiatives must have a clearly defined Balaji Mani ’10, Tina Ro ’10, Kevin Wang ’10. cisions I would have to make for myself, not mandatory meal plans for our dining halls, and objective, set of goals, measures for success, and to mention learning time management. It just evict students from graduate dorms on their own an estimated cost made public to the MIT com- Photography Staff doesn’t make sense that I have to prepare my- volition. More disturbing is the opacity of the munity. This will lead to well-reasoned, fairly- Editors: Perry Hung ’08, David M. Templeton self for the real world, when I plan on living administration. The Green Hall eviction came debated policy initiatives. Checks and balances ’08, Ricardo Ramirez ’09, Andrea Robles ’10; Staff: Alex H. Chan G, David Da He G, Dmitry with my parents forever. as a huge surprise to the residents who were must exist so that any proposition can be acted Kashlev G, Andrew T. Lukmann G, Ramya Perhaps some class in the distant future will suddenly forced to move into a more expensive upon by the administration if and only if it has Sankar G, Martin Segado G, Scott Johnston be able to enjoy having no choices, but for now, dorm, further away from campus, with smaller received majority support from affected con- ’03, Christina Kang ’08, Arthur Petron ’08, I’m happy with having diverse and disjointed rooms and hardly any common spaces. The ad- stituents; all SAF would have the opportunity to David Reshef ’08, Martha Angela Wilcox ’08, food options. So throw in a big centralized ministration is also reluctant and slow to release vote on a proposed action. Increasing SAF in- Ana Malagon ’09, Peter H. Rigano ’09, Eric D. AYCE dining hall, but don’t wipe out my alter- data to students investigating administrative op- volvement in the community would force the ad- Schmiedl ’09, Jerzy Szablowski ’09, Diana Ye ministration to abide by majority interests. SAF ’09, Daniel P. Beauboeuf ’10, Mindy Eng ’10, would also have the ability to petition the admin- Helen Hou ’10, Monica Kahn ’10, Samuel E. Kronick ’10, Diane Rak ’10, Aaron Sampson istration to revoke and revise policies. A public ’10, Jongu Shin ’10, William Yee ’10, Kari forum should be available for any member of the Williams ’11, Sherry Yan ’11. MIT community to voice their complaints, which administrators must respond to. There should be Campus Life Staff greater organizational clarity and accountability, Editor: Charles Lin G; Staff: Bruce Wu G, making MIT staff and administrators readily ac- Kailas Narendran ’01, Elizabeth Zakszewski cessible by SAF and ultimately responsible for ’06, James Scott Berdahl ’08, Michael T. Lin their actions. Finally, we should look within MIT ’11; Cartoonists: Scott Burdick G, Daniel Klein-Marcuschamer G, Roberto Perez-Franco for answers. Have classes focus on improving G, Emezie Okorafor ’03, Nancy Hua ’07, MIT society: creating the opportunity for student Jia Lou ’07, Ash Turza ’08, Danbee Kim ’09, involved policy analysis would be both educa- Roxana G. Safipour ’09. tionally and institutionally beneficial. This type of governance system could be Business Staff implemented with technological voting tools Operations Manager: Michael Kuo ’10; Staff: and the Internet, and set MIT apart from peer Jeffrey Chang ’08, Cokie Hu ’08, Tai Ho Kang institutions by giving students the ability to ’08, Neeharika Bhartiya ’10, Jennifer Chu ’10, actively participate in the way MIT is run. It Ritu Tandon ’10, Heymian Wong ’10. would increase community activism and help Technology Staff make effective, well-thought policy decisions Staff: Quentin Smith ’10. that everyone could understand. Alumni would have more pride, be more involved, and be Editors at Large more willing to donate to the Institute. MIT’s Contributing Editors: Rosa Cao G, Brian culture could be preserved and who better than Hemond G, Valery K. Brobbey ’08, Angeline MIT to technologically advance government? Wang ’09, Caroline Huang ’10; Senior Editors: Be proactive and experience technocracy at: Satwiksai Seshasai G, Jillian A. Berry ’08, http://technocracy.mit.edu/ Omari Stephens ’08. David Dryjanski G Advisory Board Paul E. Schindler, Jr. ’74, V. Michael Bove ’83, Barry S. Surman ’84, Robert E. Malchman property of The Tech, and will not be returned. Letters, columns, and ’85, Deborah A. Levinson ’91, Jonathan E. D. Opinion Policy cartoons may also be posted on The Tech’s Web site and/or printed Richmond PhD ’91, Karen Kaplan ’93, Saul Editorials are the official opinion of The Tech. They are written by or published in any other format or medium now known or later that Blumenthal ’98, Frank Dabek ’00, Daniel Ryan the editorial board, which consists of Chairman Benjamin P. Gleitzman, becomes known. The Tech makes no commitment to publish all the Bersak ’02, Eric J. Cholankeril ’02, Jordan Editor in Chief Nick Semenkovich, Managing Editor Jessica Witchley, letters received. Rubin ’02, Nathan Collins SM ’03, Keith J. Winstein ’03, Akshay R. Patil ’04, Tiffany Opinion Editor Aditya Kohli, and Contributing Editor Rosa Cao. Guest columns are opinion articles submitted by members of the Dohzen ’06, Beckett W. Sterner ’06, Marissa Dissents are the opinions of signed members of the editorial MIT or local community and have the author’s name in italics. Col- Vogt ’06, Zachary Ozer ’07, B. D. Colen. board choosing to publish their disagreement with the editorial. umns without italics are written by Tech staff. Letters to the editor, columns, and editorial cartoons are writ- Production Staff for This Issue ten by individuals and represent the opinion of the author, not neces- Editors: Austin Chu ’08, Jessica Witchley ’10; sarily that of the newspaper. Electronic submissions are encouraged To Reach Us Associate Editor: K. Nichole Treadway ’10; and should be sent to [email protected]. Hard copy submis- The Tech’s telephone number is (617) 253-1541. E-mail is the eas- Staff: Ricardo Ramirez ’09. sions should be addressed to The Tech, P.O. Box 397029, Cambridge, iest way to reach any member of our staff. If you are unsure whom

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find the moisturizer that is right for your skin. Some Beauty Is Skin Deep If you feel like you have abso- Ask A TA lutely no time whatsoever to inte- Figuring Out Fashion including cream, acne-fighting, and foaming. grate cleansers, exfoliants, and moisturizers To [email protected]: The only way to choose is to stay focused on into your daily life, then at least try and add Why work so hard … trading time for By Manisha Padi and Ying Yang your own skin type. If your skin gets cracked one of the three. A very simple and cheap op- money. Spending more time at work, than A couple days after last week’s column and chapped in the winter, your skin is prob- tion is using the classic, St. Ives Apricot Scrub. with you family and kids … Life goes by too came out, we overheard a group of unsuspect- ably dry, while if it oozes oil even when you It works for almost all skin types and is very fast … It’s time for you to think … make a ing critics reading the article on Tech Shuttle are inactive, it’s probably oily. Simple. An inexpensive. wise decision. Why wait until one morning and comparing thoughts. We were confronted easy way to find the best cleanser for your As one last tip, an easy way to tell if your you wake up and kids are gone and you don’t with overheard questions like, “why would skin type is to head down to Sephora and ask products are too intense for your skin is if you even know them … It’s happening to most they include drinking a glass of water?” and them for some free samples of their most in- complete a routine and your skin feels tight American… working two jobs to barely pay “what the **** does exfoliating mean?” So, triguing formulas. on your face and has a matte tone to it. This bills. we duly apologize for not explaining ourselves 2. Exfoliants are products that have small is an indication that you think you’re oilier STOP THE INSANITY …. Visit … Work thoroughly and hope to do so this week. rough particles in them that are used to rub off then you are. Also, remember that time of year, Smart Not Hard (http://eromero.homestead. When we called our column Figuring out dried skin layers and reveal fresher skin below. diet, hydration level (hence the suggestion for com/) What do you have to loose?????? Fashion, it was under the broad definition of These are also often marketed as “scrubs,” drinking water), and amount of sleep, all have —Enrique Romero fashion that is truly applicable to any place, but it is best to check the consistency before a large impact on skin tone, so keep in touch even MIT. Fashion is the art of presenting buying. In general, these products aren’t very with yourself. Enrique, I’m touched. You’ve really nailed yourself to the best of your abilities, and we’re abrasive, and can sometimes be combined with We hope you’ve gotten some basic ideas of the consummate dilemma plaguing grad here to explore not only all the outward as- cleansers. These also work great on your body, how to take care of your skin from this week’s students these days and I think your well pects of fashion, but also the unexpected side but since they tend to dry out the skin, it’s best article, and that you were inspired to be a little reasoned inquiry deserves a thorough answer. effects that come from being self aware. From not to use them every day. We suggest exfoliat- more caring about the most important person Why do we work so hard, spending hour our own experiences, we never knew how ing moderately, at least once a week. in your life — you. upon hour in lab or staring at a computer self-conscious we could be about our senses 3. Moisturizers are absolutely essen- screen? Why are we trading time for money, of style until we realized that we weren’t even tial. We know from experience how when all of our peers from college have high following half the advice we wisely wrote in much of a turn off it is when paying consulting jobs? Life does go by too this column. a good looking, interest- fast. One day you’re a 1st year, being deluded There is much more to looking good than ing person reaches out by visions of grandeur, seduced by overtly clothes, especially since most of us don’t have to shake your hand complicated but ever so alluring experiments, the money, time, or tolerance to wear couture and their skin is and the next day, you wake up and you’re to class every day. Today we will explore the rough, ashy, a 4th year without a compelling data set. incredibly important question of how to feel and generally Perhaps it is time for us to think and make good on the inside, which is the only way the unpleasant. a wise decision. What are we doing here, outside will ever come together. We ourselves Moistur- conducting research and TAing undergrads are far from achieving this goal, but we know izers usu- who never write in or show up to recitations? that when we take care of our bodies and keep ally make We most certainly want to know our kids one our outlooks positive, we look amazing no use of fats, day and we want don’t want to say to them, matter what we wear. like oils yes Jimmy or Susan, your parents did spend So on to the more important question — and butters, the prime of their lives in lab. But you’re what does “exfoliating” mean? And what is to smooth right in raising the alarm. The cautionary tale an exfoliant? Well, an exfoliant is one of the over the sur- you describe in your missive may very well three main skincare products available for your face of the befall us all. beautification — cleanser, exfoliant, and mois- skin. There I know you want us to stop the insanity. turizer. Now, what do all these do? are some oil- The reasoning on your Web site suggests that 1. Cleansers do the work of soap. Soap it- free varieties we start, “capitalizing on the Home-Based self is usually good enough for the body, but a available for those Business craze and the Self-Development gentler and more specialized mixture is more prone to oily skin. boom,” but it’s just not that easy for us. We appropriate for the face since soap does dry Use moisturizer daily don’t understand any of these real word terms out the skin. Choose this product carefully. on your body and your face you bandy about. What’s a Home-Based There are many types of cleansers out there, and make sure to go out and Business Craze? What’s a Self-Development boom? Is that a conference we can go to? I’m sorry Enrique. I know you’re trying to help us, but you tempt us with a world we simply can’t Overheard imagine. Nonetheless, your case is strong. You say we simply have to e-mail you all of our At personal information and then we can be on our way to financial success. It is a sorely Drawing on the Radio’s Greatest Hits tempting proposition. And at the end of it all, Harvard you counter by asking us, “What do you have 1. The Modern Lovers, “I’m Straight” to loose??????” “I ordered a grilled Well Enrique, I’ll tell you. We have lots 2. The Mountain Goats, “Cubs In Five” cheese sandwich to loose. We have lots to loose because we’re 3. Nico, “These Days” and they didn’t even afraid. You see, there’s this thing called the real world out there. I’ve never experienced 4. Disco Doom, “Ultra Lord” have it on the menu. it, but from what I’ve been told, it’s inhabited 5. Stereo Total, “On Yeah” I feel so powerful.” by lawyers, accountants, and evil suit wearing monsters. It’s hell out there and we’re just not 6. The Band, “The Weight” —Unknown ready to toe the young professional waters of Harvard Student the River Styx. Your appeal to go out there and start a home business is alluring, but we all b know the reality that awaits us. If we go out there, it’s no free food, no seminar cookies, ird no nap time, no lab Frisbee, no pizza journal on club, no cheep beers and stimulating conver- Hear these hits and more during Drawing on the sation at the Muddy. If we go out there, we’re a Radio (myspace.com/drawingontheradio), Friday doomed. They’ll eat us alive. They’ll make us w pay bills, wear ties, act our age, get a 401k, evenings from 8–9 p.m. on WMBR 88.1 FM, attend leadership meetings and team build- a t ing exercises! TEAM BUILDING EXER- e r hosted by DJs Annatina Capresident, Matthew CISES!!!!! Masecretary, and Unjincided. Don’t you see? While there may be riches m e in that world out there, we just aren’t ready “We’ve been trying l o to abandon the paradise we’ve constructed all night to become for ourselves. You ever read that book, Lord n of the Flies? Well that’s what life is like in Facebook friends grad school. Out there in the real world, but it’s been really there are adults to bully us around, society to impose restrictions on us, but here in really difficult.” grad school, we’re kings of the island. We —Unknown make up our own rules and do as we please, Harvard Student with only the scary monsters in the woods (advisors) forcing us into irrational frenzies. Sure there are downsides. We wear rags and scavenge for food, whilst chasing the never-ending goal of “guaranteed funding”. But other than that, we have an enviable existence: no adults, no rules. Indeed, we have truly found paradise. And no Mean Milton Facebook or guide to home business success will ever fail take that away from us. —TA Charles Lin G March 7, 2008

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Pseudoscience by Daniel Klein-Marcuschamer “Words, Words, Words” by Philip Engel Solution on page 14

Across 50 Expectorate 23 Joint 1 “As You Like It” locale 51 Family of Herman, Lily 25 Once-popular song by Michael Ciuffo 5 Proscribe 53 Egg-shaped objects 27 Instruct Steal My Comic 9 DEA agent, slangily 57 Written eulogy 28 Conference call, e.g. 13 Phenomena 58 Complain 29 Tiny arachnid 15 Coarse cabbage 60 Comedian Murphy 30 Source of strength 16 Israeli airline 61 Stretch thin 34 Radio component 17 Indicator of 62 Container weight 35 Crossed (a river) exponentiation 63 Nice room 36 Like Canadian 18 Titles of 11 Down 64 FEMA’s medical doubles 19 ____ colada component 37 Perfect set of three 20 Board (for a journey) 65 Idiotic 39 National newspaper 22 2006 Aguilera album 66 Sharp cry 40 Jogging gait 24 London district 42 Clears (debt) 26 A menace Down 43 Establishes publicly 27 Painful dental 1 As a change of pace 44 Famous robot’s procedures 2 Dutch cheese nickname 31 Born 3 Croat’s neighbor 46 Be opposite to, as an 32 Interwoven strands 4 Betrayals angle 33 Electronic device 5 Eating utensils 47 Cation ending 35 Kind of sale 6 Spike 48 Wall hanging 38 Horse fodder 7 Greek epic 49 Low cry 39 Fey and Turner 8 Goes down 51 Garment of South Asia 40 Reverse 9 Ocean god 52 Lazy 41 Cultivated grass 10 Proof of innocence 54 Culinary herb 42 Contents of 1 Across 11 Indian princes 55 Ooze 43 Known in advance 12 Standard works of 56 Harmless 44 Before descent? literature 45 Re: 14 Labored Sum: 65 57 “____ gun!” 21 X (Cyrillic) Product: 159252480 The Daily Blunderbuss by Ben Peters Instructions: Fill in the grid so that each column, row, and 3 by 3 grid contains exactly one of each of the digits 1 through 9. Solutions, tips, and computer program at http:// www.sudoku.com; see also solution, page 12. March 7, 2008 The Tech Page 7

Dilbert® by Scott Adams

ACROSS 40 Poet Van 63 Perry or repeats? 37 Final authority 1 Witticism Duyn Havelock 11 Intimidate 40 E. Lansing 5 Lacks 41 Oh yeah, __ 64 Part of B&O 12 Host sch. 10 Brainstorm who? 65 Young men 13 Son of Jacob 42 Small dam 14 Citrus hybrid 42 Hit by 66 Arrests 21 Invented facts 43 “__ la Douce” 15 Really detest Aerosmith 67 President 22 Precipitate 44 Chopper 16 Skye caps 44 Ball favorite Polk’s middle 23 Puppeteer enthusiasts 17 Hired thug 45 Spoils name Shari 46 Very 18 Use a loom 46 Computer 24 Use a disturbing 19 The like language std. DOWN soapbox 47 Spicy sauce 20 Hit by the 49 Actor Neill 1 Little pitcher 28 Planetarium 48 Supplied Left Banke 51 Fairness-in- 2 Self-image vista hints 23 First gear hiring letters 3 Ballroom 29 Vampire killer 49 Get into your 25 Philosophical 52 Hit by the dance 30 Once, once birthday suit? ending Everly 4 Singer Turner 31 Justice Bader 50 Chasm Solution, page 12 26 Change Brothers 5 Peddles Ginsburg 53 Mid-month 27 Obliterate 57 Ventilation 6 Crosswise, 33 Spoken time 29 Letter flourish duct nautically 34 Former 54 Gold-coated 32 Hit by the 58 Daily record 7 “Pygmalion” Steelers 55 Ring around Ventures 59 Like playwright coach Chuck the moon 35 Again, in community 8 Classic Chevy 35 Baseball 56 Pan handler? music property 9 Low card commission- 60 __ de la Plata 38 __-bitty 62 Friendly 10 What history er, 1969-84 61 Red or White 39 Swelter leader? often 36 Asinine team Crossword Puzzle Crossword Page 8 The Tech March 7, 2008 Ar t s CD REVIEW SM & Jicks Make Art Out of ‘Trash’ The Clown Prince Returns Magnificently on Guitar-Centric New Release By Sarah Dupuis downright skill. letting his guitar speak for him now. Malkmus pleads, “Strike me square / Into the Arts Editor MILFs get old, however, and unless you’re Lucky for him (and us), his axe is a great arms of the air.” Real Emotional Trash really into the May-December thing, they orator. One benefit of age is Malkmus’ in- Another standout, “Cold Son” progresses Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks lose their appeal. But Malkmus, now settled creasingly Guitar Hero-worthy ability on his through a fun, synth-filled verse into a gor- down at forty-one with two young children of instrument. This skill is especially apparent geous ballad of a chorus. “Who was it that ’m a fanatical appreciator of absolutely his own, is far from exhausting his internal on “Hopscotch Willie” (the strange, trippy said the world is my oyster? / I feel like a nym- everything Stephen Malkmus has ever think-tank. His fourth tale of a man falsely pho stuck in a cloister,” he proclaims before created, but such laudatory devotion post-Pavement re- convicted of mur- degenerating into noisy fade-out nonsense. I should not be taken as accepting pas- lease, Real Emotional Lucky for him (and us), his axe der, who pants “like “Baltimore” has too many catchy sections to sivity on my behalf. I like his past efforts in Trash, offers up genius a pit bull / minus the count, while rollicking strummer “Gardenia” very different ways. Pavement, the band with songs, filled with tast- is a great orator. One benefit of mean”) and “Elmo will surely do well on college radio stations. which Malkmus attained the status of “Clown ily feral guitar solos Delmo,” a medieval The only song that seems out of place is the Prince of Indie Rock,” seems (analogously, of and grounded by Mal- age is Malkmus’ increasingly jam reminiscent of Pig far-too-long title track; “Real Emotional course) like a silly but sexy teenage girl next kmus’ vocals, which Lib’s “Witch Moun- Trash” clocks in at over ten minutes and gets door. Malkmus’ literary and sardonic ram- have only grown Guitar Hero-worthy ability on tain Bridge.” lost in noodling, but this misstep can be for- blings, inextricably combined with the expert smoother and cooler his instrument. The Jicks’ updated given by the time-warp two-chord rock sec- sloppiness of the rest of the group, shouted, with age. lineup certainly adds tion that comes in around six minutes. “We don’t give a fuck, and we’re damn good “Of all my stoned to the pure goodness of Filled with untouchable guitar solos, well- anyway.” digressions, some have mutated into the RET. New recruit Janet Weiss (who’s played crafted melodies, and memorably strange lyr- His solo efforts (backed by the transient truth,” Malkmus slurs at the start of appropri- for Quasi, Elliott Smith and Sleater-Kinney, ics, RET sits pretty in the Malkmus catalogue. and talented Jicks) are more like that teen- ately buzzy opener “Dragonfly Pie,” on which to name a few) not only hits her drums with It’s distinct from past releases, but it’s not out ager’s hot mother. The Jicks are no minivan- the guitars seem to impersonate the titular in- grooving fury, but also contributes pure, play- of the ballpark. It’s not a terribly surprising piloting soccer mom, however; they’re a sect. This album’s lyrical content is filled with ful harmonies to several of the album’s tracks. album, but it’s also quite unlike what you’ve MILF, calculatedly beautiful with hints of just those kinds of digressions, and, as Malk- She sounds especially good on standout and heard from him before. For all these reasons, past wildness, and the insight of maturation mus has emphasized in interviews, words just closer “Wicked Wanda,” which moves from it’ll dwell in your Discman for months. Way to combine intelligence and restraint with don’t matter as much to him anymore. He’s slow rock pop into pure distorted pleasure as to go, SM & Co.! Book reading Sharp and Familiar Ethnic Experiences Jhumpa Lahiri Reads From Her Latest Book By Praveen Rathinavelu This was Lahiri’s third time coming to ence of being in the first generation of one’s example of the delicacy and generosity with arts editor MIT for a reading, corresponding to her third family raised in America to the experience of which her stories treat the cultural clashes that Unaccustomed Earth book: a collection of 8 short stories titled Un- then “raising [one’s own] children in this coun- fill her writing. Lahiri withholds judgement of Reading by Author Jhumpa Lahiri accustomed Earth that is a follow-up to The try.” The narrator of Hell-Heaven is a Bengali any of the characters in her story and as a re- March 4, 2007 Namesake (recently made into a movie) and woman who is looking back on a period of her sult, none of them seem flat or lifeless. It is also 32-123 the Pulitzer-Prize winning Interpreter of Mala- youth, but more specifically, at her mother in the reason we can look past the Indian-Amer- dies. Before reading, Lahiri expressed how that period. Lahiri has a terrific ability to create ican context in her stories and start to explore humpa Lahiri isn’t the sort of writer who “MIT endures in [her] a complex and nuanced something broader in her writing. Initially, the shies away from her heritage. Her writ- family’s mythology” relationship between narrator’s mother leads a drab, almost ascetic ing is replete with details of the Indian- because it is where her Lahiri withholds judgement of the narrator and her existence as if she seems to give herself en- J American experience, peppered with father had his first job mother without saying tirely to the people around her; it might be so references to Raj Kapoor and salwar kameez, in the US in 1969. As any of the characters in her story much explicitly. She she can forget about herself. But she eventually because she writes about what she knows. But a result MIT seems to subtly draws a divide finds solace with her husband and herself, and to say that her stories are primarily about an “always make an ap- and as a result, none of them between the narra- her progression is that of a person creating a ethnic-American experience seems to severely pearance” in Lahiri’s seem flat or lifeless. tor in her present state life for herself — even if it comes later than limit the scope of Lahiri’s writing. Her stories writing. Fittingly, La- and her younger coun- one would expect. In her introduction, Lahiri’s aren’t about immigrant families, but families in hiri read a story from terpart; we are able to writing was described as being a kind of varia- general. On March 4th, in front of a crowd that her latest book called Hell-Heaven, which glean the narrator’s growth and increased un- tion of the American Dream and by the end of was spilling out of 32-123, Lahiri reinforced focused on a Bengali family living in Central derstanding of her mother through her retelling the story, as the characters have grown and set- this resistance to the labels that frequently Square and their relationship with a young of the past. tled into a kind of equilibrium with each other, hamper writers such as her. She offered the au- MIT graduate student from India. The richest characters in Hell-Heaven are the description begins to seem apt. dience a writing style that is crisp, discerning, After the reading, Lahiri told the audience the narrator’s parents; they are somber and Unaccustomed Earth will be on shelves and instantly recognizable to anyone who has that her stories in Unaccustomed Earth largely reserved but also capable of a tremendous April 4, 2008. There will be a release event struggled to reconcile generations and cultures, focus on “Children who are now adults, strad- amount of understated emotion that is the best with Ms. Lahiri on April 3 at Brookline Book- but also, parents and children. dling a divide.” Her stories relate the experi- display of Lahiri’s subtle hand. It is also a good smith, where copies will be available. Roadkill Buffet Runs Over Audience With Laughter Roadkill Buffet, MIT’s improv comedy troupe, pates in a dating show game. performed their monthly show in 6-120 last Fri- (right) Adam C. Love ’07 and Benjamin M. Park day, Feb. 29. ’10 open the show with the improvisational (below) John U. Gardner G, an alum of Season game ‘Freeze.’ 4 of The CW’s “Beauty and the Geek,” partici- Photography by Monica Kahn March 7, 2008 パンThe Tech熊 Page猫パン猫パ 9 ダ熊猫パンダダ熊猫パ THE熊猫パンンダ

Omari Stephens—The Tech ンダ Don Contois of the Steelco Fence company helps install a fence in preparation for the construction of MIT building 76, which is scheduled to open in 2010. The new building, which will house the David H. Koch Institute for Integrative Cancer Research, will be constructed along Main St. between the Stata Center (Building 32) and the Koch Biology Building (Building 68; also named for David H. Koch ’62). 熊猫JOINパン The Council for the Arts at MIT and the MIT Graduate Student Life Grants present: 熊猫パンダ熊猫パンダ A special Boston Modern Orchestra Project concert for MIT graduate students and alumni/ae Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 7:00pm Moonshine Room at the Club Café, 301 Columbus Ave, Boston Doors open at 6:00pm. ダ熊猫パン

Bringing new music to uncommon places. Experience brand new music in a back room setting, headlined by BMOP musicians.

Lisa Bielawa “’Synopsis #3: I think We Should Tell Her’ for solo flute” (2006) William Norine “3 Fugues for Drumset” (1979) Jacob Ter Veldhuis “Lipstick” for flute, alto flute, and boombox (1998) Steve Reich “New York Counterpoint” for clarinet and tape (1985) Mario Davidovsky “Synchronism No. 9” for violin and electronic sound (1988) Eric Moe “SuperHero” (2006) ダ熊猫パ Gabriela Diaz, violin David Russell, cello Sarah Brady, flute @熊猫パン Michael Norsworthy, clarinet Robert Schulz, percussion Sarah Bob, piano Gil Rose, conductor TECH熊 Hosted by Lisa Bielawa, Composer in Residence

$10 for MIT graduate students and guests ンダ $25 for MIT Club of Boston members Ticket prices include buffet dinner

For tickets and more information, please contact: Susan Cohen (617) 253-4005 / [email protected] 熊猫ダ熊 BMOP is Boston’s only orchestra dedicated exclusively to new music. Since 1996, BMOP has championed composers whose careers span eight decades of modern orchestral music. Program notes: http://www.bmop.org/season/concert_detail.aspx?cid=129 Page 10 The Tech March 7, 2008 Made possible by the Council for the Arts at MIT Follett’s Reality TV FREE tickets for MIT students! Experience Was Fun BOSTON SECESSION Handel in the Strand Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 8:00 p.m. Mixed With Intensity First Church in Cambridge, Congregational Follett, from Page 1 an early age, Follett wanted to be an 11 Garden Street, Harvard Square, Cambridge oceanographer, a passion he picked But he said he had not kept in up after many sailing outings with Closest T-Stop: Harvard Square, Red Line touch with Mehta, nor had he been his grandparents. in contact with previous MIT contes- Follett will be at a party to watch In the Baroque period, J.S. Bach beetled away in Germany as the introverted, provincial genius while tants — and so he really had no idea the “Beauty and the Geek” season George Frideric Handel took London by storm, becoming the era’s extroverted, cosmopolitan superstar. what to expect. His labmates advised five premiere on Tuesday night at 8 him to be himself and relax, which p.m. in Room 4-237. A German who wrote in the Italian style in England, Handel was wildly popular in his day—and it is his he admitted is easier said than done. While the goal of the show is to musical style that has left an indelible mark on nearly all the greatest composers after his death in 1759. Follett graduated from MIT in win the cash prize, Follett’s said he This concert traces the musical inheritance of Handel’s heirs—from the 18th century to today. 2007 with a bachelor’s degree in was also motivated by a belief that physics and is currently pursuing a “people are too quick to say no to re- PhD with the joint program in Ocean- ally cool opportunities.” http://www.bostonsecession.org ography between MIT and Woods “When you get an opportunity, Hole Oceanographic Institute. From you take it when you can,” he said. BOSTON MODERN ORCHESTRA PROJECT Double Entendre: Premieres from inspired collaborations Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 8:00pm Wells Remembered As Jordan Hall, 30 Gainsborough Street, Boston Gil Rose, conductor An Outgoing Classmate, Lisa Bielawa: Double Violin Concerto World Premiere Colin Jacobsen, violin An Inspirational Friend Carla Kihlstedt, violin Wells, from Page 1 his lab partner this semester in Labo- ratory in Higher Cognition (9.61). “Rob wasn’t afraid to try anything,” He never let things faze him, always Ken Ueno: On a Sufficient Condition for the Existence of Most Specific Hypothesis World Premiere Mercado said, and “he wanted to do saying to himself “Oh, yeah, that test Ken Ueno, throat singer everything one hundred percent.” wasn’t great … but I’m going to enjoy In water polo, Wells worked hard, myself,” said Ragsdale. and met the friends who would be- Well’s advisor also thought of him Alejandro Rutty: The Conscious Sleepwalker Loops World Premiere come his fellow brothers when they as confident, with an endearingly fun- pledged at Delta Upsilon. “His frater- ny demeanor: “He always wore Yan- nity brothers were probably his saving kees gear … He really enjoyed having Derek Hurst: Clades World Premiere grace,” said Mercado. people be annoyed with him for being Firebird Ensemble Even after a serious shoulder in- a Yankees fan,” said Gibson. jury, Wells kept fighting to play, only But Wells was also a serious stu- giving up the sport once it became dent with a passion for psychology. Tickets available at the MIT Office of the Arts (E15-205) Monday - Friday, physically impossible to keep at it. He liked cognitive psychology, espe- 10am - 4pm in person, first-come, first-served only. 2 tickets per MIT student ID In the next fall, Wells started to cially behavioral research that figures play varsity football, where coach out why people do what they do, Gib- Dwight E. Smith remembered him son said. http://web.mit.edu/arts/see/freetickets/index.html for his “passion for just wanting to “He was a very lively presence,” get out there and do it again.” Wells said Rebecca Blevins Faery, director played as backup quarterback until of first-year writing, who taught Wells midway through the season, when in his freshman year. “He always had a series of injuries left him unable something to say. He would make fun- to walk. Smith remembered that he ny comments quite often,” but “he was pushed hard because of his dedication serious also.” to the team: “He just didn’t want to Faery said that Wells was a learner: quit. He just didn’t want to stop do- he was “really open to learning things, ing it.” or changing positions that he held.” Others might have abandoned Four years later, this hadn’t physical exertion after these experi- changed. Heather A. Paxson, who ences, but Wells went right back at it. taught Wells in Understanding Culture He liked working out and staying fit, (21A.109) this semester, wrote in an and he played intramural sports with e-mail that “Rob demonstrated sharp his fraternity. insight and a passion for justice. He “I have never seen anyone be so demonstrated deeply felt respect for excited about IM sports,” said Quinn perspectives radically different from M. Scripter ’08, a DU brother who met his own.” Wells in his freshman year. “Any IM Wells was also genuinely honest. sport that DU played, Rob was there.” “He wasn’t afraid to admit his weak- Wells especially loved IM hockey, and nesses or his shortcomings,” Mercado he was competing on DU’s hockey said. He was someone “that you use as team this spring. an example … of no matter how tough At his fraternity, Wells brought a it is, no excuses. You figure it out.” contagious enthusiasm to IM sports “I really miss him,” Clark said. He — he motivated all his friends there was “sort of a different person for our to join up. “He was great at rallying major. That’s why he really stood out, people around his cause,” Scripter being that outgoing.” said. Wells is survived by his parents In school, Wells was the one who Michael and Laura; his sister Kayla; organized people, who assembled his maternal grandparents John and study groups, and made e-mail lists Phyllis Dumollin, Sr., of Londonderry, to help people work together. He was N.H.; several aunts, uncles, cousins, also outspoken, using a keen sense of fraternity brothers, and friends; and offbeat humor to keep people enter- his girlfriend Billie Briones. tained during classes that might other- A funeral will be held at St. Mary’s wise have been boring. Church in Ballston Spa, New York to- Wells was confident and helpful, morrow at 9:30 a.m. A memorial ser- said Tracey M. Ragsdale ’08, who was vice will be held at MIT next week.

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Join The Tech! [email protected] [email protected] Page 12 The Tech March 7, 2008 Nader Loses Audience Vote at Latke vs. Hamentashen Debate Latke-Hamentashen, from Page 1 connected the hamentash to “all things posedly passed the Turing Test, which bad,” such as Osama bin Laden and tests whether a machine is intelligent hamentash: an ideal model of project- al-Qaeda, and he encouraged the audi- by measuring its capability to converse based learning.” ence to start referring to the cookie as with a human. The following conversa- The traditional learning model, or the freedomtash. Van Evera then roused tion ensued: “firehose” method of learning, ulti- the audience into a mob-like chant of, Winston: Do you like latke? mately hurts the students’ educational “USA! USA! Latkes, latkes USA!” Computer: I eat them often, how about experience, Epstein said, illustrating Van Evera concluded that latke you? his point by showing pictures of un- cooking oil is a matter of national se- W: They say the chancellor eats hamen- fortunate students with latkes. Epstein curity because it can be used to fry al- tashen frequently. proposed a “constructivist” method of Qaeda invaders. C: He must be very reckless. learning that bases the experience on W: They say they eat hamentashen at students’ own interests. An undesirable mutation TEAL. Hamentashen offer students end- Sive argued the hamentash side C: TEAL must be a place where fun less dough and filing possibilities, from from a systems biology approach. Cit- goes to die. apricot to tuna, Epstein said — while ing Scientist H. A. Men, a researcher W: Which team will be ready to go on latkes only let students choose between based on the Stata Center, Sive argued day one? potato and sweet potato. that to determine what genetic networks C: The hamentashen team has no expe- He had the audience participate to build the h. tashen (the hamentash’s true rience. try to prove his point: half the audience, scientific name), a mutant screening ap- W: What would you want to eat if the the hamentash side, could decorate proach must be taken. The results of a red phone rings at 3am? their paper-plate “hamentashen” with mutant screen were fascinating, she C: Latke without any doubt. stickers and decide on a unique fold. said, as three main phenotypes were The latke side was left with plain paper observed — too much filling, too many Circles or triangles? plates. tails, and arrested development, which Demaine, who like Winston is a UROP students named, “latke.” computer scientist, took a stance based Politics, psychology, and pancakes Sive continued by applying the mu- on folding. Latkes naturally want to Back on the latke side, Van Evera tant screen results to broader genetic fold up into triangles, Demaine said, but called on audience members to “let the networks, which brought scientists to hamentashen are happy the way they

Omari Stephens—The Tech inner Karl Rove out” in his presentation conclude that wild-type h. tashen is a are, since triangles cannot be folded Terrascope lecturer Ari W. Epstein PhD ’95 presents different top- on “Latkes rule, hamentashen drool: complex, important life form compared into circles. pings that one can eat with hamentashen. The annual Latke vs. the case for latkes as American political with the rudimentary latke, whose ge- Obviously, he said, a bigger ques- Hamentashen Debate took place this past Wednesday evening in a campaign consultants would make it.” netic network consists of only a straight tion of triangle versus circles emerges packed 26-100. Using the time-honored “prove-it- line. — one cannot fold a triangle to a circle, isn’t-so” rhetorical strategy, Van Evera and perfect circles don’t exist (even on The intelligent machine prefers latkes the internet). Since no perfect circles Winston presented the audience exist, there can be no perfect latke, De- with a computer program that has sup- maine argued. Demaine said he spent a lot of time looking at pictures of lat- Solution to Crossword kes on the Internet, but even “the most from page 7 beautiful latke that he could find” was unsatisfactory. Demaine further argued that because circles cannot tile a plane, frying latkes is a waste of space and energy. Wasting energy, he says, contributes to global warming. After each team presented 5 min- ute rebuttals, Wolfe ran an “election,” where audience members chose among the latke, the hamentash, and Ralph Na- der. The debate ended in a tie, so Wolfe determined that it would need to hap- pen again next year. Sponsored by MIT Hillel, this year’s Solution to Sudoku debate was organized by Matthew Cons from page 6 ’08, Benjamin Epstein ’10, and Mish Madsen ’09. “The debate demonstrates what MIT Hillel strives to do: bring together a community,” said Cons. “We run the debate purely for the entertainment,” added Epstein. “After all, there’s really nothing funnier than listening to your physics professor passionately try to convince you that Gauss’ Law is actually a latke-lovers’ conspiracy.” Asked whether he really does prefer the latke, Dourmashkin replied, “I never have hamentashen.” Contra, Israeli, and International Folk Dancing for PE credit Live folk music at contra dances!

Attend 5 dances, 8:00 – 9:30 pm: Sunday April 6 Int’l Folk Dance in the Sala Tuesday April 8 Contra Dance in Lobdell Wednesday April 9 Israeli Dance in W20-491 Tuesday April 15 Contra Dance in W20-407 Tuesday April 29 Contra Dance in W20-407 Sunday May 4 Int’l Folk Dance in Lobdell Tuesday May 13 Contra Dance in W20-407

No partner or experience necessary. All are welcome, whether taking the class or not. FREE for MIT students. Register in the PE lottery, or at the dance. MIT Folk Dance Club http://mit.edu/fdc March 7, 2008 The Tech Page 13

The MIT Hippocratic Society Presents

Climate Change and Health: A Medical Perspective on Global Warming

Friday, March 7: 7-10 PM Screening of Leonard DiCaprio’s “The 11th Hour” Free for registered attendees

Saturday, March 8: 10AM - 3PM Arrive at 9:30AM for breakfast. Lunch will also be provided

Room: 34-101

Made possible with funding from: UA Finboard, the Departnments of Biology, HST, STS and the Center for Environmental Health Sciences

Would you like to participate in a research study that involves only blood testing?

All donors are prescreened for diseases and compensated $25. Those who are eligible will receive $50 for each blood draw.

to see if you qualify to participate and set up an appointment and interview. . Page 14 The Tech March 7, 2008 American Universities Create

Up to Partnerships in Saudi Arabia SPERM DONORS By Tamar Lewin ing infrastructure,” Albert Pisano, the personal freedom head-on. NEEDED $1100 a month! The New York Times chairman of Berkeley’s mechanical “We are working with a university Three prominent American univer- engineering department, which he said that has guaranteed nondiscrimination Healthy MEN in college or with a college degree wanted for our sities the University of Texas at Austin, had voted 34-2 to proceed with the on the basis of race, religion or gen- sperm donor program. the University of California, Berkeley, agreement. “We’re going to work on der,” said Peter Glynn, director of the and Stanford University — are start- projects that are good for the Middle Stanford institute. “We recognize that Minimal time commitment ing five-year partnerships, worth $25 East and for California, like energy this university operates in Saudi Ara- Help people fulfill their dreams of starting a family. million or more, with King Abdullah sources beyond petroleum, improved bia. Having said that, this university Receive free health and genetic screenings. University of Science and Technology, water desalination, and solar energy in recognizes that if it wants to be world- a graduate-level research university the desert.” class, it has to be able to freely attract APPLY ONLINE: being built in Saudi Arabia. Despite its enormous oil wealth, the best students and faculty from Under the agreements, the me- Saudi Arabia lacks world-class re- around the world.” www.SPERMBANK.com chanical engineering department at search universities. In the last few He acknowledged that the issue Berkeley, the computer-science de- years, as the Persian Gulf nations could be sticky. “We have several Is- partment and Institute for Computa- have begun to worry about the even- raeli faculty involved with this, but to tional and Mathematical Engineering tual need to convert from an oil-based be honest, there’s very little of what at Stanford, and the Institute for Com- economy to a knowledge-based econ- Stanford will be doing that will in- putational Engineering and Sciences omy, they have started offering lavish volve travel to Saudi Arabia,” he said. at the University of Texas will help inducements to American universities He added that Stanford’s main role pick the faculty and develop the cur- to bring their expertise to the region. would be designing the curriculum riculum for the new university, known Although men and women will and recruiting initial faculty, from by the acronym KAUST, which is be able to mingle freely at the new around the world. “We believe this scheduled to open next year with a university, faculty at the American university can have a major impact in $10 billion endowment. institutions said they were concerned Saudi Arabia and in the region, and Over the five years, each univer- about the possible pitfalls of work- that’s why we’re doing this.” sity will receive a $10 million gift, ing in a society where women cannot KAUST has already announced $10 million for research on their home drive, gay rights do not exist and Israe- partnerships with the Woods Hole campus, $5 million for research at lis are not welcome. Oceanographic Institution in Mas- KAUST, plus administrative costs. The agreements do contain an exit sachusetts, the Institut Francais du “The agreement will allow us to clause. “We have a 30-day cancella- Petrole, National University of Sin- improve our facilities here in Cali- tion provision, allowing us to leave the gapore, the American University of fornia, and fund a stream of graduate agreement with no penalty if at any Cairo and Indian Institute of Technol- students, without taxing our exist- time we are dissatisfied,” Pisano said. ogy in Bombay, the Hong Kong Uni- University officials said they had versity of Science and Technology, Solution to Words... addressed the issues of academic and and others. from page 6

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CALL: ( 6 1 7 ) 7 3 2 - 5 9 6 9 E-MAIL: [email protected] VISIT: www.TheHealthStudy.com March 7, 2008 The Tech Page 15 The Plasma Griznade

always run towards your enemy

We have Halo 3 and a 50” HDTV [email protected] Page 16 The Tech March 7, 2008 Sp o r t s Synchronized Swimming Places Division Champions Seventh at East Regional Champ Face Off in Finals of By Anna J. Simon Team Member The Synchronized Swimming Club took seventh place at the East NECHA Tournament Collegiate Regional Championships with a combined score By Jeff Lemieux five minutes later, again receiving of 41.5 points last DAPER Staff an assist from Earle, this time along weekend at Canisius The University of Connecticut with John Stockler. It became 3-0 to College in Buffalo, used a late six-goal outburst to over- the Huskies with 2:27 remaining in New York. Canisius power MIT and claim a 6-1 victory the second period, as Hawvermale College’s varsity team, in the NorthEast Col- along with Charlie Luther assisted which has regularly placed high na- legiate Hockey As- Stockler for the their third goal. tionally, finished first with a score sociation Conference Any thoughts of a third period of 100 points. Keuka College placed A Championship on comeback for MIT were dashed just second with a score of 80 points, fol- Sunday afternoon at 37 seconds after the break, as Ryan lowed by Wheaton College’s varsity the Conway Arena in McLaughlin took a feed from T.J. team (77) and Boston University’s Nashua, N.H. The Engineers’ bid Seifert and scored to make it 4-0 in club team (57). to attain the conference crown was favor of UConn. MIT was represented by swim- thwarted for a second straight sea- Stockler added a fifth, unassisted mers in both the “C” (intermediate) son, as MIT fell to Bryant University goal at the 10:14 mark, before Kevin

and “D” (novice) divisions of the Adele A. Schwab in the title game last year. Donovan rounded out the Huskies’ technical element competition. In Karen L. Chu ’08, Lucia T. Tian ’08, and Anna J. Simon ’10 (clockwise The Engineers, the NECHA scoring with 5:55 on the clock. Assists the intermediate competition, Anna from left) of the MIT synchronized swimming team compete in the Conference A East Division regular on Donovan’s goal were credited to J. Simon ’10 placed 9th with a score 2008 East Zone Regionals held last weekend at Canisius College in season champions, finished with an Brendan Stanley and Matt Nardone. of 60.000, short of the 66.727 points Buffalo, New York. impressive overall record of 14-5-1. The Engineers did receive a con- scored by top intermediate swimmer The Huskies, who won the NECHA solation strike late in the third pe- Sonvje Ryen from Wheaton College Rodriguez-Noyola placed 9th with a Pennsylvania. Andrea J. Hawksley Conference A West Division regular riod from Ryan W. Ballentine ’09, in Norton, Mass. score of 66.333 in the solo competi- G also swam the routine during this season title, went 16-7-1 over the who scored with help from Nick R. In the novice competition, the tion, followed by Schwab at 10th with season. course of the season. LaBounty ’09 and Nicholas J. Mai- Engineers had a particularly consis- a score of 57.177. In the duet com- The team’s routine, featuring The beginning of the champion- etta G. tent competition, averaging over 50 petition, Ackley and Eng performed members Chu, Rodriguez-Noyola, ship game was close, as neither team Ballentine (14 goals, 27 assists) points. Karen L. Chu ’08 earned 13th a piece choreographed by Alyse Tian, Schwab, Ackley, Eng, and Si- managed to find the back of the net and LaBounty (23 goals, 18 assists) place with a score of 53.289, followed Wu ’08, placing 9th with a score of mon edged out Pennsylvania State in the first period. tied for the team lead in points with by teammates Joanna Rodriguez- 63.500. Rachel B. Licht ’10 and Irene University’s B Team for 8th place UConn then broke the deadlock 41, which was a career-high for both. Noyola ’09 (15th), Lucia T. Tian ’08 M. Kaplow ’10 have also competed with a score of 66.250, barely falling early in the second period and nev- Goaltender Stephen L. Yablonski (16th), Adele A. Schwab ’08 (19th), in the duet competition this season behind the University of Pennsylva- er looked back, scoring six straight ’11 played the entire game in net for Sarah F. Ackley ’08 (25th), and Min- but were unable to attend this meet. nia’s score of 67.000. goals over the ensuing 30 minutes. MIT, taking the first playoff loss of dy Eng ’10 (27th). Michelle Juarbe In the trio competition, Tian, Chu, The club, which welcomes new Jake Hawvermale opened the flood- his young intercollegiate career after of Canisius College won the novice and Simon earned a score of 55.667 members who have good basic gates at the 15:55 mark, finishing earning the wins in both the quar- competition with a score of 61.855. in a routine choreographed by Tenley swimming skills, is planning an ex- with help from Chris Earle and Dan terfinals and semifinals. He finishes MIT also performed well in the D. McHarg ’04 to tie for sixth place hibition with Boston University later Roche. Hawvermale then scored his his rookie season with an impressive routine portion of the competition. with a trio from the University of this spring. second on the power-play just over goals-against average of 2.33.

Women’s Water Polo Opens Season Figure Skating Club Finishes Seventh Undefeated By Analiese DiConti As Brown Skates to Bronze in Dance Team Member By Diana Cheng to “Tara’s Theme” from “Gone 10th out of ten skaters, respectively. The women’s water polo club opened their season last weekend at Team Member with the Wind” featured a waltz- In the Low Team Maneuvers, the Bates College, going 4-0 in a tournament that featured North Atlan- The MIT Figure Skating Club salchow-toe loop jump sequence, team placed fifth overall out of five tic Division rivals. The Engineers defeated Wellesley College (10-8), placed seventh out of thirteen com- a spiral sequence, and a back spin. teams. Brown performed a circular Bates College (13-4), Boston University (10-4), and petitors at an intercollegiate figure Kristina K. Brown ’10 placed 7th step sequence and camel-sit spin, Bowdoin College (13-3). skating competition in the Pre-juvenile level out of nine Fakhraldeen did a waltz-toe jump Despite splitting her time in goal and in the field, held at the University of skaters. combination, Gosselin did a scratch rookie Caroline A. DeBoer ’11 led the team with nine Delaware last weekend. In the Juvenile ice dance, Brown spin, and Tang contributed a Sal- goals over the course of the weekend. Captain Analiese Saja A. Fakhraldeen earned a bronze medal out of five chow jump. M. DiConti ’10 had her debut in goal, allowing only ’09, Kachina C. Gos- skaters with her swing dance. The club continues its season three goals in her six quarters in the cage and tallying eight goals on selin ’10, and Jingyi Fakhraldeen, Tang, and Gosselin next weekend by hosting its annual offense. “Cynthia” Tang ’09 placed 4th, 6th, skated the Dutch Waltz in Prelimi- exhibition on Saturday, March 15th Set defenders Kristen L. Cook G and Kellie S. Young ’11 proved and 7th respectively out of eight skat- nary dance and placed 7th, 9th, and at 6 p.m. to be tremendous, keeping the opponents’ hole sets almost scoreless ers at the Preliminary Freestyle level. throughout the weekend. Cook and Young also scored eight and six Fakhraldeen’s program to music goals of their own, respectively. from “Little Children” featured a Blair K. Brettmann G outswam the opponents throughout the week- waltz jump-toe loop combination, a Up c o m i n g Ho m e Ev e n t s end, taking advantage of many opportunities�� in � ��front of� � the�� cage�� to ��one-foot�� upright�� spin,�� and�� a salchow.�� score eight times. Lisa C. Tacoronte�� ’10�� also�� scored� �!"#$" six%##& times, and It was choreographed by captain Au- Friday, March 7, 2008 Rachel E. Price ’10 scored her second goal as an Engineer. brey L. Samost ’10. Men’s Track and Field, ECAC Championship Next, MIT faces Boston College on Thursday at 6 p.m. in the Zesi- Gosselin’s program to the Celtic 11 a.m., Johnson Athletic Center ger Center for rights to the top seed'( in�)� the�� North�� Atlantic�� Division�� of ��music�� of “The�� Butterfly”�� *�featured�� a �� Women’s�� Track�� and+�� Field,� �� ECAC�� Championship�� the Collegiate Water Polo Association. The EngineersHenisi. are three-time Pat, cor sumloop-loop nos doloreet jump combination, elesseq uatuera lay- esectem doloboreet, con heniscidunt11 a.m., Johnson at, Athleticquat dolobore Center diam, veliquisl el ut adip eraesto duis dolor sum ex exeros ea faci ea amcommo lorper adit nullaor at, commy nosto odolenim nostrud et laore feu facidunt alit lutetue modolor accum ea am, quamcon sequat wisl ullam, consequat. Iquat. Ut el iure feugait elit, quis adionsectet ex endre facip er accum zzrit lor sustis aut verit, sed modolor eraessim et dolore duis nisis ad minit in vendrem quatums andigna feuissed enim zzriusci tem nos dipsusto od magniat wismod tat, voluptat. Ut amcon volesequisl iure deliscillam quatetum dolorpe riusto del eriusto core facilit, qui tem nonsenim zzriustrud dolore conse molestrud modolore corpercilla feu faccum quisci blan volut iustrud minim ipsum ad magnibh esequatem qui bla con volor sectem zzrit eum nonum ese dolortisis amconullaore vulla feu feu feu feum duipsus tionsectem erci tet aci endreet lor si. �� ,�-�.��/0�0��/��12&2342&5%6� defending champions of the North Atlantic Division.Magnim do doloreet,back conulput to back spin, wisi and ex a ex straight eu facincilit alit iustissed eugue vel dolore vent 1��!4#34#&6 line step sequence. Tang’s program Saturday, March 8, 2008 Men’s Track and Field, ECAC Championship 11 a.m., Johnson Athletic Center LEGAL COUNSEL �� Women’s Track and Field, ECAC Championship MIT students, family, employers and '(�)��*�� 11 a.m., Johnson Athletic Center start-ups seeking U.S. legal counsel, ��+�� Men’s Ice Hockey vs. Alumni 12:15 p.m., Johnson Ice Arena campus or oﬃce consultation. Call: ��,��-�� Women’s Ice Hockey vs. Alumnae 12:15 p.m., Johnson Ice Arena Men’s Tennis vs. Endicott College 2 p.m., duPont Tennis Courts James Dennis Leary, Esq. �� 321-544-0012 Monday, March 10, 2008 Men’s Tennis vs. Gordon College 4 p.m., duPont Tennis Courts '7��)��++�� 8�� ,�9�:( ��0�4.��/�12&$$425%26� 1��!4224#&6 Sc o r e b o a r d �� Men’s Tennis '7��)��++�� Wednesday, March 5, 2008 �� 8�� Salem State College (0-1) 0 �� ,��9�� MIT (4-1) 9 ��

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