ATTACKER GAVE Q , Grants to go after ME DRUGS KISS’“election Club victim’s By MATTHEW QENEVER FUTURE generations of students face having to cope without any financial support from the government hallucinations whoever wins the general election. The high-powered Dealing Committee, backed by both Labour and the Conservative after assault party, is set to recommend the phasing out of the student By LAURA DAVIS grant as soon as next summer. Tony Blair has said he is A TERRIFIED clubber committed to scrapping the student grant system and collapsed alter a man grabbed replacing it with a series of loans to be paid back over a her for a french kiss and forced 20-year period. And a source on the committee admitted: two LSD tablets down her throat. “Nobody is defending the The student was celebrating the end of maintenance grant You have to find ways of cutting costs in term in Majestyk when the stranger the system.” seized her and pushed the drugs into her mouth with his tongue. North-West: During the next 12 hours she suffered turn to pages 16-17 horrific hallucinations, believing she was being Simon Cafftey, President of attacked by six foot spiders. LMUSU, sits on the A friend who stayed with the student, who does not committee as a member of the wish to be named, throughout the night and said she was governance and structure sub­ intent on hurting herself: “She kept banging her head group. He said: “Higher against the wall and it didn’t seem to hurt her.” education should be free in The victim confronted the manager of Majestyk two days principle, but the fact is that later, but said although he expressed concern, he was unable to the money just isn’t there at the help. “They said I should have told them about it on the night,” moment I would just hope that she said. “But I didn't even know where I was!” the money saved will be put Conrad Nugent, the general manager of Majestyk, said he back into the universities, but I sympathised with the student: “It’s a very horrifying thing to can't see that happening.” happen to anybody. Obviously I feel very sorry for the girt but I Caffiey continued: don’t believe we have a problem here.” CORONATION SW EET: Vera Duckworth (Liz Dawn) was star attraction at a “Forcing students to pay for. A spokesperson from the National Drugs Helpline Passion for Leeds fashion show organised by Park Lane College and in aid tuition is wrong as most condemned the attack: “The effects of LSD have a lot to do of the Liz Dawn Breast Cancer Appeal. She was joined by fellow Corrie graduates will be in the upper with the user’s state of mind before taking it This student actresses Gaynor Faye and Debbie McAndrew. The clothes were supplied by income bracket and so will would’ve been scared even before it started to take effect” fashion Leeds stores and the models all appeared free of charge Pic: Piers Martin pay more taxes anyway.” INSIDE: News 1-11, Comment 6-9, Feature 12-13, Outlook 15-19, Sport 20-24. Plus 24-page juice magazine 2 LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25, 1997 f L E E D S H EXPOSED: SOMETHING INTERESTING AT NUS CONFERENCE S t u d e n t This week in Britain’s award-winning student newspaper of the year NEWS Housing hassle: The naked truth The downside of living in uni accommodation pages 4-5

E aster over, the of the body politic summer term FOR anyone suffering that pursues him. Kate can do. begins: fasten your election fatigue here’s a Woodhead enjoys shouting, Fortunately, the National seatbelts for the ride Darren Green likes being Executive Committee - way to make yourself jovial and Laurie Spieler resplendent as always sitting page 9 better: rip off all your absolutely relishes making high and proud upon the stage clothes, flaunt your speeches and darting about - didn’t want to run the risk of FEATURE wares before two with a mobile phone as if he’s a longer conference in case thousand people and secretly running the show. there was time to talk about What? Maggie’s not For once LUU, one of the issues they didn’t want to talk shimmy past the grasp biggest delegations at the about. With their well- running this time? of despairing entire event, hadn’t just come rehearsed when-I-scratch-my- What you don’t know policemen as you sprint along to make up the numbers. nose-it-means-vote- away into eternity. They had a cause to champion AGAINST technique they that would take the nation by about politics is One man tried it and it were therefore able to signal to storm. Conservatives stand for the political puppeteers up in revealed pafles12.13 worked. He burst robeless the great British nation, the conference balconies to across the floor of this Labour campaigns for social signal to their troops down on year’s National Union of justice for all, the Liberal the conference floor to vote Students Conference in Democrats pledge to resurrect against Hellawell and LUU. The Empire Blackpool, ducked and If this column has given the dived the shocked impression that NUS Strikes Back: onlookers and, for all one Conference is one long Travel to knows, headed for the sea charade of contrived votes and HACK foretold elections then well like Reggie Perrin to quit Hong Kong spotted. Groups such as this world forever. pages 18-19 at NUS Conference in Blackpool Labour Students and the (“It’s male... and it’s seen Union of Jewish Students its last politics for the day,” is education for our children. expend incredible amounts of SPORT how the late cricket LUU fights tooth and nail to time, energy and mobile phone commentator John Arlott BUSA latest, get NUS Conference extended batteries on getting their way < Illustration: Colin Hoginson would have put it.) by half a day. in even the most petty including triumph What could have driven a Normally, you see, it goes handbag fights. The deep man so far? The answer is on until Thursday lunch-time, tragedy, or comedy depending Labour. Will politics always title Dead Anoraks Society. ® ^ for the rugby politics. You might think you but this year it was scheduled which way you look at it, is be so predictable? And then the final glory: got enough this holiday just Hgjgx league stars of to close on Wednesday night, the sheer futility of it all in the But then, as the flame of the nude intruder made his seeking out ever/ dose of robbing us of crucial hours eyes of the real world. student radicalism threatened dramatic appearance and this LUU pages 22-23 election coverage as an excuse when we could be dissecting to flicker and then die, the elaborately staged Blairite for not starting that parts of parts of motions, Blairified fabled Phoenix began to rise. showpiece descended into dissertation. And it came from Leeds. farce. Who was the mystery voting for more Labour And the problem for the Princess Tiggy, genial Mat man? Could it be Bruce Anoraks Students wearing Blairite grins spectator is that New Labour Ray and the rest hadn’t carried Hartley, LUU’s Finance & to run NUS for another year are getting too good at it Last But some take it much bagfuls of flyers declaring Administration officer, and dodging the inevitable year they had to wheel every further. They play at politics “We will fight them on the protesting against the failure to barrage of stickers, flyers and deal and scratch every back on themselves. Every year a speeches,” all the way here not invite him? Or Robin Van Den documents that are more the way to finally throwing out weird band of ego-tripping to make a big fuss about the Hende, the trainspotterish unreadable than the Maastricht the old policy of ‘free’ . careerists and anorak-sporting burning why-is-conference- pundit keen to test whether the treaty. education and embracing the nerds gather for a pretend only-three-days issue. NUS constitution has any “We need a debate on why Blairified plan that students parliament all of their own, As the event neared its provision on how to handle its this conference has been should help pay their own firmly convinced that final hour LUU suddenly rose, delegates au naturell Or shortened by half a day!” way. It was an epic struggle everything they say is shaking climbing on chairs and making maybe it was just Chirpie after bawled Graham Hellawell of between Tony’s Empire and the planet to its core. University, really all kinds of noise. The rest of paying another visit to the bar. The Leeds delegations the Rebel Alliance of diehard the vast conference hall spun Conservative Central getting quite emotional. Trotskyites. So much for Star therefore naturally feel at round in disbelief. One day Office might have had its Intriguingly, Hellawell’s Wars, this year was more like home. Simon ‘Chirpie’ someone’ll turn it into a Blair-chasing chicken, but medicine for the lost debating Howard the Duck. The Trots Caffrey, President of LMUSU, movie, with stirring classical NUS now has the naked _ _ time was to spend even more rolled over and got squashed, delights in strutting around background music, the ape. Who said British time debating just why it had looking as dead and buried as trying to look important enchanted expression of Robin politics has gone to been lost in the first place. socialism, Clause IV, Arthur ON THE HORIZON ] despite the alcoholic odour Williams and the respectful What a university education Scargill and the rest of Old £ _ _ ) wHIi Stevie Sunshine Saturday. After a dry start, increasing cloud will bring outbreaks of rain. Max. temperature: 15C (60F). Sunday: Another dry start followed by LEEDS ARMY STANDS UP FOB LOST TIME light rain. Maximum temperature 15C ANGRY delegates from BY DAVID SMITH members,” said protester Mat Earlier, the conference (60F). Leeds caused mayhem by [ IN BLACKPOOL | Ray, Societies officer at LUU. agreed to emphasise student Outlook for the rest of the week: Cloud wrecking the biggest momentum and a streaker NUS leaders looked on choice when lobbying Sir Ron and rain at the start of the week will student conference of the dashed across the conference helplessly as other delegates Dealing’s review of education clear to a mainly dry week. year - because they said it floor. joined the protest and stormed funding, and to step up NUS’s wasn’t long enough. The delegates were the stage. “I don’t see the point campaign against fascism and \Weathercall Regional forecast 0891 500417 protesting against the of complaining about lost time racism. Representatives of LUU shortening of conference by by wasting even more,” a • A DELEGATE from stood on their chairs and half a day, a ruling on which spokeswoman said. LMUSU is believed to have chanted slogans to bring a they were not consulted. LUU was embroiled in run up a phone bill of standstill to the National Union “The issue might seem controversy two years ago around £300 in his of Students Conference in when it submitted a spoiled Blackpool hotel room. The Blackpool. small and insignificant but it is a classic example of how the ballot paper for a crucial vote union was then forced to foot Police arrived at the scene National Executive Committee on education funding at an the bill. as the demonstration gathered PROTEST: Tiggy Irish of LUU forces its own agenda onto the NUS Conference in . LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 THESPIANS SCOOP TOP AWARDS AT NATIONAL DRAMA FESTIVAL DRAMA t o John Donnelly speaks about sex, death and fame £ £ THE play came ■ ■ together during Euro ’96. We were TALENT watching the matches in a hall of residence and it was so intense. It was amazing to see the way people interacted and it just gave me the idea. Suddenly it was okay to call the other country names and the common room became male territory. I first directed the STEALS union’s Theatre Group doing the play and it was successful. I then rewrote the play over the holidays and it transferred to being an In Your Space production. They’re the touring branch of Theatre Group and they took it to Scarborough and then it’ll TOP TALENT: Student director John Donnelly whose play scooped be on it’s way to the SHOW four awards at the festival Pic: Sarah Davis Fringe but I’m BUDDING thespians was a great feeling.” “The Caretaker was a really Bretton Hall’s Head of still in the director’s seat Two of the plays actors, swept the board and competition judge Robert tight slick performance while Dance and Theatre, Paul which I enjoy doing. Hewison. John Hopkins and Jim Short Play completely blew us Cowen, said: “We’re delighted It’s fantastic that we scooping an amazing Gitsham, also won awards for won all the awards and my “The freshness and away. It took the audience by to see students receiving 11 awards at the their portrayal of the two surprise and they loved it.” recognition for the high award has given me the professionalism of its writer/ footie fanatics. John praised the other quality of their work.” courage to think I can Sunday Times director and the energy of the Meanwhile, fellow student groups’ plays, saying there Leeds University School of direct. The point's not that National Student two football crazy lads really Paul Cooke, from Bretton was no ill will in the English Chairman, David I get my name known but made this play stand out,” Hall, took the prestigious RSC competition between them. Lindley, commented: “It’s that I can get sponsorship Drama Festival. added Hewison. The students stole the Buzz Goodbody Student “We all liked what wonderful that the drama to carry on producing John won the Sunday Times Director Award for his everyone else was doing and facilities allow students from plays that I want to do and show with four stunning Playwriting Award and the production of Harold Pinter’s really wanted each other to do all courses to explore theatre. that people want to see. plays - two from Leeds Personal Managers’ The Caretaker. well.” We’re all really happy for Association Director/ Described by judges as “an For the present he is their successes.” University and two from Playwright Award. The latter 99 Bretton Hall - at the intelligent, professional and writing another play to be gives him the opportunity to fresh take,” both Paul and performed at the Studio week long festival in spend time with a professional John Donnelly were praised as Theatre in November. Scarborough. From 90 theatre company to gain “two very talented young entries only 16 were experience. directors.” Television chosen for performance. Nervous Steven Berkoff’s Decadence, performed by He has also been A Short Play about Sex “I was looking forward to approached by the Alomo TV an d Death, written and Kayla Fell - an English the week. I was a bit nervous student at Leeds University - company about writing for directed by second year but it was a great experience,” and Nathan Rimell won the television in the future. Leeds University English said John, “There was so much Ensemble acting award. But John maintains he still student John Donnelly, talent there it really made you Also commended were has his feet firmly on the took the audience by storm push yourself to do the very Andy Murton and Wendy ground: “It’s a bit of a come with its black comedy best you could.” Reed from Bretton Hall for down after the festival. You “The audience reaction their performance of Jim feel like the world’s your portrayal of football, oyster but then you suddenly sexism and, ultimately, sex made me realise why I’d Cartwright’s Two. written the play in the first “Leeds has certainly made realise that you've got an and death. place. That two hundred essay due in next week and it | “Its sheer energy was its mark,” said audience people were having a good member Will Wollen, a fourth brings you back to earth with a hugely enjoyable,” said TOASTING SUCCESS: Cast members of A Short Play About time because of our hard work year Leeds University student. bump! But I wouldn’t have Sunday Times theatre critic IRA chaosmissed it for the world.” marsSex and Death in a scene fromreturn the award winning drama THE bomb explosion at I By LAURA DAVIS | centre. There were no come forward. last As police battled to injuries. They are also in the week caused disarray for minimise disruption, Leeds All buildings within the process of viewing thousands scores of students University opened its doors to area were evacuated, causing of hours of video tape from disastrous losses for some of local security cameras, which returning after the Easter stranded businessmen, transforming the Parkinson the city’s stores. Mr Oliver, they hope will help them in holiday. their investigation to catch Building into a rest stop. manager of C&A, said: “We “It was a nightmare trying were closed for four hours, so the perpetrators. to get back,” said one student Alert we obviously suffered some caught in the drama. “All the loss of business. Havoc trains were cancelled and I The IRA bombing “Everyone stayed very Investigations are also didn’t know if I would make occurred in or near a signal calm, but people were underway into the alerts in it. box at the West end of Leeds confused and the information at the beginning of “I was very scared and City Railway Station, shortly from the police was sketchy.” the week which caused havoc worried. It’s horrible when after 9am on Friday, when Police put up over 700 in the city as most of the FRANTIC: Travellers are led to safety after a bomb alert at Leeds something like this happens police became aware of a posters on Tuesday, appealing capital ground to a standstill. City Station Pic: George Philipaa so close to home.” security alert in the city to the public for witnesses to 3 4 LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25, 1997 UNIVERSITY ACCOMMODATION TS Summoned and tear on

A COURT summons has By ANDY KELK redecorate two walls in the kitchen - that’s ridiculous - why not get been served against a court over the matter. STATUE-NAPPERS: LMUSU hockey players show off their unusual souvenir students to do it as a summer job student because of “I couldn’t believe that they’d and it keeps them occupied and minor damage to her gone that far. The letter told me to it’ll work out cheaper. The whole reply within but I couldn’t system just isn’t student friendly - accommodation. do that because it arrived while I we don’t have money to play Bonnie Powell, a second was away and by the time I got the with.” ■ year Fine Art student, was letter, the time limit had expired. IT’S A HOCKEY living at LM U ’s Sugarwell This is a university I’m dealing Harsh with and they don’t even Court in her first year and appreciate that students are not Simon Caffrey, President of on leaving cleaned up as going to be in Leeds during their LMUSU agreed that the fine was much as possible. “I got my holidays!” very harsh: “I see that the HORROR SHOWmum along to help me tidy Bonnie is outraged that the university needs to fine people for DRUNKEN hockey players caused By JAN HENEK university are charging so much damage to flats but this is just £2500 of damage when they stole a and we left it in almost for repairs which are very minor: general wear and tear and it isn’t valuable bronze statue from Keele to the statue - an 8 foot tall sculpture perfect condition.” “None of the damage was acceptable to fine people for that. university after a post match drinking by Diana Whelan called “The Flame”. At the start of this year she particularly serious - it’s just wear They should be more flexible and bout. They risk being kicked off their was shocked to find that the and tear. reasonable. David Cooper, Duncan Radley and courses should they get into any more university was demanding “A pen mark doesn’t stop “My advice to the student Graham Jonson had been playing in a trouble. £139 from her to cover damage curtains being useful. Doesn’t the concerned is to ask for evidence friendly against Keele men’s first XI Hockey club treasurer Chris Turner that repairs have been done and to to her room. She enquired £45 rent I pay cover reasonable for LMUSU. Afterwards they stole the said: “It's a tradition for players to get damage? They expect us to leave ask for the old curtains to be given £ 10,000 statue and carried it back to a team steal when they play away from about what the money was for the flats in perfect condition which to her as she has effectively paid the team minibus where they were home - though it’s usually something and was sent a breakdown. is impossible - we do have to live for them.” spending the night. smaller like a hockey ball or an there. LMU have refused to comment ashtray.” Astounding “They’re asking for £60 to on the situation. Pranksters “The break down was The theft was captured by a Valuable astounding - they were asking £10 security camera, although the He said that the team members to clean a light switch, £10 to pranksters had placed a large wheely- involved hadn’t realised how valuable remove stickers and £36 for a new YOU ARE HEREBY CHARGED bin in the way, so that passers-by could the statue was, and had always pair of curtains. I asked why they not see what they were doing. intended to give it back to the needed to buy a new pair of Bonnie’s bill is pretty hefty - here’s how LMU A Keele University spokesperson university. curtains and they told me it was described their actions as “a serious Ed White, sports and recreational because there was a pen mark on piece of vandalism.” Police were officer at LMU said: “I think a bit of them.” initially called in, but the statue has healthy pranksterism is alright, but this Bonnie was also being asked to •Cleaning one light switch, charge - £10 been returned and the students one just went too far.” pay £62.50 for a new vanity unit •Removing stickers, charge - £10 concerned have been disciplined One of the players involved in the top because the old one had a stain internally by LMU. incident commented “It’s only fair that on that she hadn’t even noticed. •O n e new vanity unit top, charge- £62.50 In a hearing last week they were we pay for what we’ve done. This is She was billed, along with her •O n e pair of new curtains, charge - £36 placed on a year’s probation and told one drunken, stupid thing that won’t be flatmates, for a missing kitchen they must foot the bill for repair work repeated.” chair which was actually in the flat •Redecorate two walls, charge - £60 next door. Bonnie and her mother both •O n e chair moved from next door, charge - £36 wrote to LMU to complain about the amount she was being forced to pay. When she got back from Grand Total: £214 -£75 deposit^ WHAT DO YOU her Easter holidays, she found a letter telling her she was due in final billot £139 DO WITH YOUR SPARE TIME? Club crash Britpopping the question A TOP Leeds nightclub has been closed indefinitely after ARE Blur trying to kill the whether is dead,” said Dr it was plunged into financial Frankenstein’s Monster of Britpop Steve Sweeney-Turner of the crisis, writes Naveed Raja. they were instrumental in creating? university’s Music department. The Pleasure Rooms has This is the kind of exam question He added: “Some of my cancelled all its events until students could soon be facing in colleagues were slightly bemused by Covance needs your help to test new medicines, and further notice amid rumours order to pass Oasis Studies or the choice of subject but they are you will be fully recompensed for the time you spend with us. of financial mismanagement. become a Bachelor of Blur, writes getting used to me. The department A spokesperson for the David Smith. is chuffed by the interest from troubled venue admitted the Call our Recruitment Department FREE on At least it seemed possible at the national newspapers and TV.” The closure was due to nation’s first conference devoted to event attracted a live broadcast from “management difficulties.” the Britpop phenomenon, held at BBC TV’s Breakfast News The club is host to nights Leeds University over the Easter programme. 0800 591 570 such as Back 2 Basics and Its holiday. Dr Sweeney-Turner argued that Obvious. More than 50 delegates from Britpop has become an important All studies comply with the Royal College of Physicians Guidelines The future of these popular around the country came for a series subject worthy of academic study. nights is uncertain, but next of lectures on subjects including “There’s a lot of complex stuff going week’s Juice has an in-depth Blur as the voice of post-Thatcherite on in there, relating to ethnic C O V A rH tjI> report on the latest working-class Britain and the alleged identity, gender and sexuality, THS DEVELOPMENT SERVICES COMPANY developments in the ongoing ‘death’ of Britpop. playfulness and irony. It is very Springfield House, Hyde Street, Leeds, LS2 9NG saga. “We couldn’t make up our mind postmodern.” 4 LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 | S UNDER ATTACK OVER ‘EXTORTIONATE’ CHARGES to court for wear Singing university flats success JARVIS Cocker impersonator Gareth Dickinson is all set to take part in the grand final of ITV’s Stars in Their Eyes ‘ PRICEY show, writes Ruth Young. Dickinson, a second year astrophysics student at Leeds PLACES University won a vote on the popular Saturday night ACCOMMODATION at programme. university has been He will go on to give a slammed by an NUS repeat performance of the survey for being too Pulp classic ‘Common expensive. People’ that won him his The study reveals that place in the final. there has been a massive Gareth said: ‘I am very expansion in the number much looking forward to the of rooms now being built final, especially with it being with en-suite rooms in the a live performance and I think hope that the buildings can I have a good chance of be used as hotel-style winning.’ accommodation during The success of his Stars in holidays. Their Eyes performance has The cost of building resulted in a lot of attention such luxury apartments for Gareth’s own band always filters back to the ‘Bingo’ which he is very students who live there pleased about. He is also still during term-time. considering fronting a Pulp Douglas Trainer, tribute band. president of NUS, The final will be a- live criticised universities: "It contest with the result decided seems the needs of the by a phone vote from viewers. students are increasingly It will be shown on the ITV down on the list of network on Saturday June 7th. priorities when it comes to accommodation. “Hall fees nationally are up 10 per cent, while the rise in rented From Leeds accommodation in the private sector is just half of one per cent.” w ith love The most expensive THE theme is Bond, James place to live was revealed, Bond, next month as the Leeds unsurprisingly, as London Royal Armouries i§ granted a costing more, on average licence to thrill, writes David than a student grant. Smith. St Andrew’s in ‘The World of 007: The came out as Official James Bond Exhibition’ cheapest but even uni to be staged at the museum will accommodation there cost be the world’s biggest ever shrine 56per cent of the full to the secret agent immortalised SUMMONED: Bonnie was alarmed to find out that she was due in court over a pen mark on a pair of curtains, an unnoticed stain and a student grant. by television holiday schedules. moved chair Pic: Caroline Penry Davey It will feature nine galleries of cars, guns, gadgets and girls, including the underwater Lotus Phone loviri criminal Warning of and Scaramanga’s legendary Dickie honoured golden gun. “Our concern here is arms and AMERICAN rap star Steve Simon Bell, Entertainments fake booze CRICKET legend Harold fresher, added: “I think its a armoury, and the exhibition will Borovoni was arrested by police Manager at LMUSU, said: “The ‘Dickie’ Bird is to scoop an token gesture to a Yorkshireman, put Bond in that context,” said just minutes after coming off stage gig here went very smoothly and DRINKERS are warned to be honorary degree from Leeds he shouldn’t get a degree.” Nicholas Boole, press officer for at a local students’ union, writes everybody seemed to enjoy it. on their guard as counterfeit University - to a mixed reception However, LUU backed the the . David Smith. Then the police came but the Vodka worth thousands of from local students, writes Oily university’s move. Sports The Fun Lovin’ Criminals band had already gone back to pounds is being distributed Tipper. Officer Leslie Jones said: “I drummer faced allegations of their hotel.” around West . Bird, a native Yorkshireman think he’s great, and the degree making obscene and threatening Andy Way, Regional Press Police and Trading and the sport’s most famous will be good publicity for the Phone moans phone calls to women in local Officer for the band, criticised Standards Officers seized umpire, will be presented with a university.” gyms. LMUSU’s reaction to the incident. almost two thousand bottles in a Doctor of Laws degree in July. Bird is among six people who IT’S good to talk - but not for too Police arrived too late to catch “Nobody was found guilty of raid on a business premises in But students were ambivalent are to receive honorary degrees long if BT are adding up your Borovoni after the packed gig at anything and the union was out of Modey. about the award. “The university this summer from the University phone bill, writes David Smith. LMUSU but made the arrest at his order to say they’d have pulled the “Had it been genuine it is giving away degrees too of Leeds. The work of an Rivals such as Bell hotel less than an hour later. gig if they’d known about the would have been worth cheaply,” said' J Hunter, a intemationally-renowned Indian Cabiemedia and Mercury consistently offer their customers The star spent the night in a allegations. It was not as serious as £20,000,” said Paul Cooper, student living in Barnsley. novelist, a former professor of local police station and was reports suggested.” Senior Principal Officer of the Broadcast journalism student English Literature, the Chairman cheaper deals, according to the questioned and cautioned. But Simon Caffrey, President of Trading Lucy Wright said: “It of Acas, a housing campaigner consumer magazine Which? Borovoni, 29, was released at LMUSU, responded: “We Standards Service. “We became undermines the work real and an American businessman Switching away from BT around 6.30pm, allowing the band would’ve looked at all the facts and aware of a problem last summer students do and makes our will also be recognised. could save students up to 20 per cent on payments, the study to keep a date at the Hacienda in spoken to their agent The same and know there is more illegal degrees look easy to get.” the same night rules go for any band.” stock out there.” Rachel Kelnar, a Politics shows. THE GENERAL ELECTION IS THE CURRENT MEDIA EPIC, BUT WILL IT AFFECT THE OUTCOME? ALEEDSHI S t u d e n t Leeds Student is an independent newspaper serving students at Leeds Metropolitan University, Leeds University and other colleges in and around Leeds. All our journalists abide by a code of conduct, but if you have any problems, please contact the Editor. Comments, contributions and helpful criticism are invited. Editor lim e to praise David Smith Deputy Editor Ben East SECTION EDITORS

Arts Clare Lister Justin Penrose Lauren Pushkin Books Spike the messenger Linden Thornton

Clubs Sarah Monk HE defining Nick O’Meally moment of the T election Comment Sue Barnard campaign was John Kate Bingham Prescott’s admission Fashion that you can’t always Clare Edwards tell the truth in Jenni Jones Jenni Letts politics. So the Conservatives Features Emma Al-Jumaili triumphantly Chris Leadbeater announced at their Mike Pflanz press conference. Katy Regan No, the true defining Listings moment was the Joe Downie revelation that some Tory Music Ministers had ruled out a Owen Gibson single European currency Piers Martin in spite of the Chris Mooney Government’s official News line to ‘wait-and-see’. So Abbie Jones Tony Blair told the hordes Andy Kelk of journalists following Shiraz Lalani Naveed Raja the story. They were both wrong of Pictures course. If ever there was a Sarah Davis defining moment in this extraordinary campaign it Politics had to be the day the world’s Tina Burrett Jacob Hickey media descended on the not perfect but surely preferable innocent, unsuspecting town to no debate at all. Production o f Tatton. Hence Tony Blair’s Steve Cooper There the incumbent reluctance to take part, lest the Tony Keaveney Conservative MP, Neil media find him out the way it Oliver Quinn Hamilton, was facing pressure did Labour’s U-turns on to resign over allegations he privatisation or the Tories’ Science had tabled parliamentary divisions over Europe. No one David Adam questions in return for illicit can blame him. He has nothing Alex Kibble payments. Slowly we learned of to gain and everything to lose Barry McKeman tea-time fix in the build-up to a is not a player on the stage. The national treasures. Radio 4’s an ‘anti-sleaze’ challenger and final episode cliff-hanger. significance of ’s not Today programme and BBC2's and, given John Major’s superior performances under Sport then came the news it was to be Now, as every Guardian so-sudden declaration and Newsnight have excelled as Zoe Feller journalist Martin Bell - to the reader will know, it is assumed Martin Bell’s intervention have ever, while large sections of the the studio lights, he knows he Alex Gubbay surprise of Hamilton, the media that such media hi-jacking of been greatly exaggerated, but once true blue Tory press - * quite probably would. Paul Wilson and apparently Bell himself. the great British politic can the press has been instrumental uncertain which way to swing The more the media is Total Football Bell was perfectly cast, an only be a damaging thing, in pushing the indiscretions of this time - have consequently silenced or diverted by Kofi Ohene-Djan inscrutable, slightly weary ranking personalities before MPs like Hamilton and Piers focused on news and debate aberrations like Tatton, the interloper, the white-suited policies and soundbites above Merchant, alleged in The Sun to instead of propaganda. more it suits Tony Blair. So far Television stranger in town who would rid sense. This is the same be having an extra-marital A special mention too for ahead in the polls, he is Joe Downie it of the plague. From him our Guardian which - along with so affair, high up the campaign Radio 5 Live, the 24-hour news effectively the incumbent, and Ross Horsley televisions cut to Hamilton, many other self-appointed agenda. network with the time to cover media intrusion can only Matt James seemingly subdued, but then media watchdogs - spends so party press conferences and threaten to disturb the status Jenny Wood who wouldn’t be with the long pondering the editorial HY, however, should which has provided coverage quo. formidable Mrs Hamilton as an stance of The Sun or the this be cause to unprecedented in its He need not be so Travel W ally. And when we saw at their bulldog as election motif, that mourn? Imagine, for a comprehensiveness. concerned. The polls also show Tamsin Martin side Bill Roache, Coronation you could be forgiven for not what we know already: that the Jo Young moment, the alternative. That However apathetic and Street’s , reality remembering there are policies you be asked to vote for a ignorant many voters may be, it influence of the media on Video Games caved in and took at stake at all. candidate without any is worth remembering we are voting intentions is very Tim East over. The media is at its worst knowledge of their private still the best informed minimal indeed. Blair, The And that was the point: the when it becomes obsessed with misdeeds, to merely accept the electorate of all time, given Guardian and other doom- DEPARTMENT HEADS election has become the the negative effects of that most official version, cleansed of any infinitely more opportunities to mongers can sleep easy, as this greatest soap opera on earth. pernicious of forces, the media. trace of sleaze or hypocrisy. understand the personalities and most media-dominated of all Business Manager Like the Gulf war or world Once you swallow the facile For every one of its the policies than in the pre­ elections will not actually be Helen Whiteoak championship snooker, it has truth that journalism is indulgences - and the battle of media age. determined by it. been an epic television event, subjective, you can get down to the chickens springs to mind - I for one am sorry we will There has never been the transforming the mundane and Editorial hotline: the serious business of tuning there have been many class acts not witness the spectacle of a remotest shadow of doubt that the real into an ongoing story of into every twist and turn of the to celebrate in the ongoing leadership debate on TV. There Labour will win on Thursday (0113)243 4727 familiar faces, heroes and Advertising hotline: drama, realising that ITN News media circus. Jeremy Paxman’s are many scare stories about by a comfortable margin. Given villains, triumphs and disasters. at 5.40 is infinitely more incredulous sneers, Vincent how such occasions descend that we all know what happens call Helen Whiteoak on The storylines come and go but (0113)231 4251 or unpredictable than Neighbours Hanna’s cutting remarks, even into posturing and the swapping in the final episode, the media the characters and locations are 0850 488 543 on the opposite channel. David Dimbleby’s belligerent of soundbites, but with a firm has done a pretty good job of the same, providing a regular This is not to say the media probes - all these have become chairman a debate is a debate, cranking up the suspense. LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 EM ’S PEOPLE TheSLAV'S rules of living NEXT time you blu-tock Pulp Fiction posters to your wall just remember: you could end up in court. That has to be the startling conclusion of Bonnie Powell’s experience with university authorities. For offences as grave as keeping an unclean light switch, leaving a pen mark on curtains and moving her chair to the room next door, Bonnie is facing a legal battle in court. Thank goodness university officials are getting their priorities right. They could be spending the same time and effort tightening hall security, but of course that would be a waste. Instead they can act tough and clamp down on freshers who didn’t exist in a bubble all year but committed the offence of actually living in her room. It is the classic case of an institution bullying the individual without anything approaching a just ■■■ LETTERS TO TH E EDITOR — — cause. A bone to pick with heads of state or just disgruntled at the amount Sour Halls of residence are great hives of social of mozareiia on the refec pizza? As if MEDIA EXPOSURE w asn’t activity but the fun can turn sour in the face of petty rules and regulations. incentive enough, there’s a lottery-rivalling CASH P R IZ E for the best Students are, on occasion, treated like children, but Bonnie Powell is being treated like a criminal. letter this week and every week. Write to The Editor at Leeds Student, LUU, PO The court action is being brought for Box 157, Leeds LS1 1UH, fax (0113) 246 7953 or drop by the LMUSU office at City Site. meaningless ‘offences’ and a penalty of £139 - just where do LMU choose to draw the fine? Perhaps we can expect one day soon to see a fresher in the dock over a tell-tale fingerprint left on a door handle. Dear Editor, Dear Editor, And this at a time when hall security is under the spotlight after a spate of incidents. I AM a really sad lonely ol’ sole, community and would like to and my goldfish and I were thank the generous soul who I AM writing on behalf of one of the One doy the university interested in an idea of a student donated this delectable gift to university’s many impoverished sports lonely hearts column. Now do not us (must have been some teams - women’s basketball. This outhorities might even notice discard this idea straight away. curry) season, for the first time in the history Why not consider the pros of the Seriously though, I of the team, we reached the BUSA there ore bigger concerns then o idea? wonder if these people realise finals. In other words, we were among There are a lot of shy young that the teachers who let the top eight student basketball teams in grubby light switch. people out there who would like Dear Editor, them skive off school, the Britain - a reasonable achievement, we someone special to love and hold solicitors who represent them felt. close. Why not help these people I LIVE in a flat with other when they’ve nabbed a Unfortunately, the financial and get together? All it entails is a few students in a quiet area of rented TV and video, the organisational effort required to actually columns in the paper for the lonely Leeds (if there is such a doctors who save their lives get the team over to for Play the game hearts and an advert asking people thing!) in casualty when they’ve the competition rather took away from the event.. to write in. The other week, I heard overdosed on smack and THE Oscars it wasn’t, but the Sunday Times It is a crying shame that some of our I’m shy but I am sure that with that the local community has practically everyone who Student Drama Festival in Scarborough strong players had to forego the the right kind of enthusiasm other started a petition to prevent helps them out of their provided Leeds with a haul of awards to rival ‘’honour’ of representing their people like me will use this students from living in the (often) self-inflicted troubles The English Patient. university because of several such opportunity to meet new people - area. wouldn’t be here if they The unprecedented success came for both pressures. which in my book can only be I can’t think why, because hadn’t once been students. actors and the writer John Donnelly, whose Sex Surely our success should be good. Perhaps the worst that can we tend to keep our selves to Come to think of it, most and Death scooped him the prize of Young happen is that a person will not our selves and don’t make of the , shops, cafes and encouraged rather than frowned upon as an expensive inconvenience? Playwright of the Year. find that special person that too much noise or cause any restaurants in this area Leeds, then, is still best at something, and the Incidentally, we were narrowly everyone is looking for. trouble (honest). wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t players deserve wholehearted applause for their Please give this idea some This morning, I left our for students, and the place defeated in the final. We were pleased to finish as English champions and British achievement. consideration, after all if it does flat to find that someone had would be more of a scum- The triumph comes as a boost for student runners-up, even if support was lacking not work it is easy enough to get broken into the hallway and bucket petulant slag heap drama, not always given the highest priority elsewhere. rid of it. Thank you for your time. deposited a huge, steaming than it is at the moment. among student activities. heap of shit (human) on the The Cambridge are still talked of in Sarah Lock John Latimer floor. ANON (Pet Detective) hushed tones but now Leeds has proved it can live I take it that this was a Editor's reply: The gauntlet has been with the best of them. Editor’s reply: The damn thing welcoming gesture of Editor's reply: Pleased to see Anyone who attends productions by the LUU laid down. When will the fa t cats finally was launched and relaunched friendliness extended from you 're working so hard to theatre group will know that, while their quality is dip in their pockets? endless times last term. Glad the loving hand of the local mend those broken fences. variable, there are always some outstanding you 're such an avid reader. talents on display. If you enjoy theatre then you will find student drama worthy of support. Now you OWN GOAL: Prodigy's topping the tables. Turn to Sport - page 22 know you can find the best of it here, in Leeds. 7 GRADUATION BALL TICKETS

W ill be on sale 0 10am this Tuesday

29th April in the DOUBLES BAR @ LUU

and in the ENTS HALL 9 LMUSU. Finalists; bring your INVITES and your UNION CARD to buy your ticket. DO NOT WORRY IF YOU DO NOT HAVE AN INVITE, YOU CAN STILL BUT YOUR TICKET WITH YOUR UNION CARD CASH & CHEQUES OHLY AT THESE VEHUES. DEBIT AND CREDIT CARD SALES AT LUU CATS ONLY. TICKETS WILL BE AVAILABLE TO ALL OTHER STUPEHT3 FROM 30TH APRIL 1997 in tro w e e k 97

Keeping you in touch w ithout tin » s t s ■ n m Organiser IMO MONTHLY BILLS EVER £10,000 pro rata FREE CONNECTION V Fixed term contract NO CONTRACTS July 1st 1997 - October 3rd 1997 NATIONAL COVERAGE 98 % of UK Population I#* If you think you can co-ordinate and organise IMP Leeds University Unions Introweek programme over the summer then pick up an application form from the Porters Information Point and from £39.95 hand in to the Exec Office by 12pm on 6th May I 1997.

There are also positions available for 10, 6, 4 and 2 week organisers working up to and including Introweek. Applications for these positions will be available from the Porters on 6th May with the deadline at 12pm on the 14th May LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 Q

Politics sees a new challenger as Adam launches the Anti-Wasp party Write to David Adam, Leeds Student, LUU, PQ Box 157, Leeds LSI 1UH SWOT IN THE Take me down to SUN

S UMMER is coming and that the Emerald City means one thing: Wasps. I really, really / Z -'W'left my best bits in ‘your mate who won’t chat-up a girl hate the little bastards. I Argentina.” There, unless he’s pissed’, the man with no All my ecological courage, you all set off along the Yell- ^ .d o I get the -brick road in search of fun, principles go out of the hundred grand now? I frolics and a 2:1. window as they fly don’t, oh-weU more of the No, wait don’t touch those magic through it. poppy joints, you’ll lose all your same bollocks it is then. motivation, sense of purpose and your Their sole purpose in The Easter holiday is always a short term memory may suffer in later life is to piss us off and strange one. The Christmas life; too late, the skies grey over and make our lives a misery. the funny monkey things carry you There is only one thing break is quickly upon you and away to a third and a career in just as quickly passes in a blur McDonalds, (enough Oz metaphors worse than these stripy of parties, booze and nicked thankyou- Ed.) stings-on-wings and that’s pagan-festivities. Throw in New Leeds in the early summer months the drippy people who truly is a different place, but there is a refuse to join me in trying Year a mere week later and very real wicked witch on the horizon returning to Leeds evokes a real that dominates everyone’s thoughts at to wipe them out sense of freshness. You’ve had a this time of year. Returning after Easter proper break, it’s a new year, a always signifies the beginning of the The wasp: take o good took, its days new start and you really are exam countdown. are numbered going to do things differently. lgain, the semester system has Easter, however, just kind o f hits A diluted the impact the summer you in the face whilst you’re doing exams have, yet it is still the your dissertation and end of term time where students up and down the essays, then just trundles along country buy reams of paper, dividing with only a couple o f Bank cards, coloured pens and spend the next Holidays to signify any sense of six weeks locked in their bedrooms, working furiously to draw up a revision occasion worthy of missing a timetable. month’s Majestyks. The more complex and difficult the But when you do come back after better, and preferably every single Easter, the strangest thing has minute of the coming months should happened. Dull, black-and-white, have unreasonable and unbalanced grossly inflated when proudly boasting even developed a desire to regularly windy and miserable Kansas has been amounts of work allotted to it, in a vain to your housemate when they get in shake-n-vac the carpet rather than put replaced by Oz. The flowers are out, attempt to convince yourself you can • from the , yet shrink to ‘oh I themselves through another ten- the birds are singing and it doesn’t go get it all done in time. haven’t really started yet,’ when minutes with Martin Luther. dark at lunchtime anymore. People are Time may go more slowly in space encountering course-mates in the pub Dorothy slew the wicked witch and happy and even the bus-drivers whistle but it screws up completely when yourself. saved the world but was still desperate a merry tune to themselves as they roar revising. Work is measured in hours, Not only does time go haywire but to go back to the world of black-and- These are the people, who past your outstretched hand, tracing with work being defined as sitting boredom thresholds are lowered to white. Exams stuff it up a bit but this instead of wUdly flailing ‘surrender Dorothy’ in the sky with down with books open. Talking, dangerous levels. Anything at all term is still the best. Would you really their arms around, as every their exhaust fumes. daydreaming and watching telly all becomes more interesting than what swap it for November again? Repeat So with ‘Toto’ your faithful spider count whilst the books are open, but you are supposed to be doing. The after me, there’s no place like Leeds, normal person does, sit plant and your friends ‘Union security serenely attempting to immediately change to ‘having a washing-up is always done, sock there’s no place like Leeds...... chap’, the man with no brain; ‘Leslie break’, when the books are closed. drawer tidied and my housemates have ignore the blatant vision of Wagner’, the man with no heart and vindictiveness buzzing Total hours worked in one day are around their head: “Just leave it alone,” “it won’t do you any harm,” or most annoyingly “you’re only making it angry.” Grandstand loses possession Wasps suck, bees are cool. encounters and goal-line clearances I Bees make honey, wasps do ■ mOOR old Grandstand. With the gaping holes between him and nothing useful their whole lives. the videe-printer. accompanied only by still-shots of the l ^ t h e BBC being outbid for ‘exclusively live on SKY’ pictures is When a bee stings you it is a J L just about every sporting Netball, canoeing and even curling last desperate act of defiance, have been given prime-time slots tragic. for a wasp merely a two­ event not on the protected list, the recently and they had to resort to re­ When Channel Four’s sports coverage fingered salute to anyone scheduling of their flagship sports begins to seem attractive, the situation is daring to enjoy an ice-cream or showing a 17-year-old tennis match dire. But wait, what’s this? A popular and sugary drink outside. So, I programme is beginning to look when the Grand National was fast growing sport, largely ignored by beseech you, kill a wasp today about as sparse as the terraces at postponed. The fervour with which and join me in my crusade to Vale Park. Even sitting Gary mainstream audiences but with the potential wipe their buzzing faces from they built up the annual soporific non- to win back mass audiences, wipe the smile the face of the earth. History, Lineker in Darth Vader’s event that is the boat-race was plain off SKY’s face and reclaim the TV sporting glory and extinction await. meditation chamber made up to stupid and the sight of grown men crown for the BBC. Step forward frisbee look like a football, can’t disguise attempting to describe epic boxing club for your time is here.

9 10 LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 Car cops in dock DOCTOR IT’S A CLOSE SHAVE DECIBEL A SIREN invented by a team of top scientists from Leeds after crash University received a prestigious award last month, LEGAL action is being By KEVIN PETTMAN | writes Laura Davis taken after two students The two male officers got out of The new invention, which the car and attended to the two TRIAL BY guides people to emergency allege they were run over students. The area was sealed off exits, was given a Prince by a police car travelling and - diverted while the Charles award and featured on on the wrong side of the accident was investigated. TELLY BBC’s Tomorrow’s World. Both were taken to LGI and ANGRY adversaries are to be Dr Deborah Withington, road. treated for minor injuries and slight given airtime to battle out their leader of the team, said The incident occurred on concussions. grievances in a mock excitedly:“We were delighted March 11 at around 7pm on courtroom in a new TV series, that our achievements have Woodhouse Lane opposite Siren writes Abbie Jones. received such recognition. the Pack Horse pub. ‘Trial TV” is appealing for Everybody’s worked really The police car was not speeding people to appear on its new The Vauxhall Astra patrol car hard. It was a last minute but only had blue lights flashing show which will give them the decision to enter the siren and was responding to a 999 call in with the siren turned off because the opportunity to state their case we had no idea that we had won Grosvemor Road and failed to officers were nearly at their to a TV judge, presenter Paul until the announcement. see Chris Taylor and Sean destination. Bacon. “It was frustrating when we Walton, both 23-year-old A civil case is being taken by the Both parties in the disputes did find out as we couldn’t tell Philosophy finalists, crossing students against the driving officer, will have to appear and will who has not been named. anyone about our success for a the road. each receive five minutes in while as there was a total press Chris said “ the police were very which to air their views. embargo.” Oncoming co-operative and legal action has The first case to appear will The research team worked started. Although our injuries were be that of a group of closely with the ambulance “We crossed the first lane of cars not that serious we deserve Lancashire villagers service and fire brigade, before which were waiting at the traffic compensation. If the siren was on challenging a “men only” rule producing the winning design. lights and looking left for oncoming we would have heard the car.” at their local Conservative They have now signed an cars stepped in to the middle of the A spokesman from West club. exclusive agreement with a road. The police car came from the Yorkshire Police said: “We are HAIR WE GO: Protesters against the Bingley bypass held a Anyone who wants to Leeds company which already right and hit us,” said Chris. holding an enquiry which will appear can call assistant has a backlog of orders. The sponsored head shave to raise funds for their campaign. The “I was thrown into the air and decide whether the officer will face event, held at LMUSU, saw campaigner Mayatte having three years producer Bob Marsden on first production will be in June. Sean rolled across the bonnet and disciplinary action.” 01712932466. hair growth removed in three minutes. Pic: David Smith hit his head on the road.”

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Queens Arcade, Leeds LEEDS METROPOLITAN UNIVERSITY LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 1 1 1 Judge sentences exam hopeful to six month stretch M l? ® Falklands Frank

FED-UP floating voter Frank Byron is so sick of the election FIN ALIST JAILED that he has emigrated to the Falklands. Bank manager Frank has started a new life as a sheep farmer with his wife Rosie. He said: “I’m just sick of all the hot air. Down here I can just ignore it all”. ON DRUGS RAP Spice vour face A FINALIST found BY ABBIE JONES POP fan Mick Fahy is so obsessed with the Spice Girls guilty of using and hookah pipe. that he had had them tattooed on supplying cannabis He was then arrested and his Racers set for drive of their life his face! was sentenced to six home was raided by the police. Billericay boy Mick, 39, They found scales and £245 THE team of budding who is single, spent £800 to months imprisonment among small amounts of Damon Hills set to race in have the feisty fivesome painted despite pleas that it cannabis and he was also an American competition on his chheks and forehead. He would ruin his growing four cannabis plants. next month have finished said: “I just love them all. I In court Ben admitted the building their formula one don’t care if they split up, I’ll university career. drugs offences, saying he grew style car, writes Helen never forget them now - I see Electronic Engineering the plants two months earlier so Rodiss. them in the mirror every student Ben Roberts was he did not have to buy the drug The 23 mechanical morning. branded a “criminal” by which he sold mainly to friends. engineering students have Judge Michael Lightfoot been working on the car for Cutting criticism Appeal 2 years and are hoping to who labelled drugs “filthy A hairdresser has been The student is hoping the drive off with the prize named as Britain’s worst. and poison.” conviction will be overturned at money of $3,000. The unfortunate clipper has Ben, aged 20, has now the appeal and that he will be Andrew Deakin, the ruined three perms, left 20 people been released on bail able to sit his final exams. If the driving force behind the under the drier too long and pending an appeal but not sentence is not quashed he will concept and design, said injured another 56 customers. before spending one week at not be able to graduate. they are becoming more “I always wanted to be a ’s young Leeds University welcomed excited as the competition fighter pilot,” said 31 year old the appeal. A spokesperson said: draws closer. offender’s institute. As reported in Leeds Sharon Tinsdale. Handing out the sentence “We understand Ben may now be able to take his finals and we Student this will be the 15th Judge Lightfoot told Roberts: “I year of the competition but I have not only you to consider are glad he may now have the opportunity to complete his the first time a British but every other student as well. university has entered. The What is the message if you just course.” Students reacted with group will be up against 94 go away with a 150-hour seasoned racers but are community service order? astonishment to Ben’s sentencing. “Loads of students hoping, if not expecting to do well. Criminal use drugs occasionally without harming anyone,” said History “Obviously we want to “If anyone tells you that you finalist Helen Taylor. “I really win”, said Andrew, “but the are not a criminal, forget it. You think this sentence was over the most important thing is that we’ll be able to see and are a criminal. You supplied top because cannabis is a drive the finished product.” drugs to other young people and relatively harmless drug when Giri power The team will jet off to they may suffer incalculable you look at it.” Detroit in two weeks where POLICE in a Portugese town effects”. Matt Keenan, a second year the car will undergo have hit on a novel way of Ben was arrested by the Politics student, echoed her rigorous testing. Until then fighting crime - using tapes of the police in North Lane, views: “This must have wide it will be travelling round Spice Girls. Headingley, for being under the implications for most students. I on display. Every time they wish to break influence of drugs. can understand harsh up an angry or violent crowd, they He was found to be carrying punishments for something like simply play the girls’ Wannabe at a tin full of cannabis and also a Ecstasy but not cannabis.” full volume until the mob go home. Dodgy docs MAYDAY FOR POLICED TO MEET YOU Angry townsfolk in Orville Ohio have stormed the local hospital Spade attack after it was revealed that three of MAY BALL its ‘doctors’ were totally A MAY ball which was to be unqualified. A fourth was a vet held at Temple Newsham who had previously only operated park has been forced to cm hajnsters. at chip shop cancel, writes Naveed Raja. One of the pseudo-medics, The ball, which was to go Clive Roberts, a gardener by A MAN was battered with a |______BY BEH BROWN______| on until 6am, was objected to shovel by three attackers as trade, said: “I just made some Infirmary. His attackers are by local residents on grounds fancy certificates on my computer students stood just yards away, described as two men in their of noise and its location. and pretended to be Greek. They powerless to help. late twenties and another in his Disappointed organiser didn’t suspect a thing until I got A second year travel and late fifties, dressed as if they Sam Welply said: “We three of my buddies involved. It tourism student who wishes to were going to a funeral. changed the location but it was a blast.” remain anonymous witnessed was still debatable as to the assault at about 8pm last Stabbed whether we could have TVavelling trannv Thursday in Woodhouse. continued until 6am. “ There was a scuffle and a The attack has been linked TOURISTS in a remote japanese “I . can understand the lot of shouting and. then one of to a similar incident earlier in village got the shock of their lives residents concerns and as we the men ran in and hit him in the day when a teenager was when they met their tour guide. wanted to make it an annual the face with the end of a beaten and stabbed. The forward thinking holiday event we decided it was best shovel”, he said. There is speculation that company had hired an American to cancel the event." the two attacks were meant as transvestite more at home on the However Welply’s Student Blood retribution for the death of a stage than on the holiday coach. Ball Company are planning woman who was One visitor was heard to say: “I’m “ There was a loud clang as it to hold another ball before killed after being run over by worried about being underdressed hit him and he went down on the end of term at an joyriders. Her funeral took at dinner.” the ground. The two men kept alternative locations in place on the day of the attacks. Leeds. CAMPUS COPPER: PC Glen Brady is the new bobby on the on kicking him as he lay on the campus beat, likely to become a familiar figure across Leeds ground in a pool of blood.” The attacks have not been “We don’t want to Compiled by reported to the police. disappoint anyone so hope University. PC Brady, 29, will hold surgeries every Monday The victim is in a critical between 12 and 2pm in room G19 of the Mechanical Engineering Clare Burton condition in Leeds General this ball will come oft," he said. Building. “I’m here and available to help.” Pic: David Smith 11 12 LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997

ext Thursday sees Britain go to the polls but does anyone really tare? surfs the waves of indifference on campus and finds out that Thatcher was Labour, wasn't she? Changespotting graphics:

Hung Parliament, you’re in the right place. “No, sorry, it’s gone.” very quiet about a slightly eccentric Leeds, you see, know t Same service provided in stabbings, Well we cross over to the Harvey Milk Bar Antipodean relation. Such matters as the vote, and know who th mutilation, and pushing off particularly tall Politics student Family. For a place in recent allegations concerning Neil Hamilton for. But know why the; buildings. Boom, and if you will, boom. Tony, tonight’s final, can you name three members hardly inspire confidence in the current way? Well that’s a diffi John and Paddy? Doesn’t that start with ‘Did of John Major’s cabinet? government, or indeed in a whole political suspender-clad MPs all you hear the one about the Englishman, the “Yes. Michael Heseltine. And, erm... this system that is supposed to ensure the election Edward Boyle library, Scotsman and the Irishman?’ is really embarrassing...Oh, what’s her of respected leaders. Is anybody out there hiding behind your des Or perhaps that’s a touch unfair. To the name?... I can do this... No, sorry. I used to really concerned about voting anymore? And to vote for your chosen Old Bar. You see, Leeds University Union’s know the members of the cabinet off by heart. does anybody actually care who wins? Back “I don’t agree w ith; most crowded watering hole doesn’t hold a They don’t teach us any contemporary to our group in the Old Bar: means, but I suppose it monopoly in the market place for blank politics on my degree.” “I don’t want the Conservatives to win. evils. I have no faith w expressions and embarrassed faces within a Looks like we’ll have to throw it open I don’t really mind who wins, as long as it’s of the other two parties Y ES, I’m going to five mile radius of the phrases ‘party politics,’ then. For tonight’s star prize, can anybody tell not the Conservatives.” successfully.” vote. I’ve read ‘national ballot’ and ‘election, you know, the me who David Blunkett is? Anybody... And you will be voting...? So no positive decla all the bloody General Election.’ Place yourself in anybody? “Labour,” “Labour” and “Labour.” This No fervent diatribe of p the LMU bar and you’ll get much the same Well, apparently not. Of those surveyed, turned out to be the most common response the knowing grin and o reaction. Or for that matter any of the libraries only 22 per cent knew that Blunkett is amongst those of our survey victims who said from the cynical hack.. manifestos. I’m on either campus. As the Industrial Studies Shadow Secretary of State for Education, and that yes, they would be voting, thanks very “I’d like to see Latx going to vote for the girl with finalist in the Brotherton remarked in that, should Labour win the election, he will much. But with Tony Blair having really know enough ai> response to the polite inquiry as to exactly be the minister in revolutionised Labour according to some, and to be too concerned.” the long brown hair... what’s her who Labour’s Deputy-Leader might watered it down “I don’t really unde name? Oh, you mean the be,’’Don’t know, don’t care.” according to others, do Labour’s policies, but) General Election?” Introducing election fever Leeds 'A member of the cabinet? our would be voters student living should bi Perhaps the question could have been campus style. Not a place for the faint know where the party the same, because it’s f hearted or the marginally seated. Ibis is really embarrassing. They now stands? In short, better phrased. Perhaps it could have can they name a ‘New nd there you ha\ been a touch more specific. And perhaps, ELCOM E back from the Labour’ policy? Go A it. You get the two days after the Prime Minister break. Here’s a starter for don't toach us any contemporary on. And don’t look so impression that announced that the date of the most ten to the Old Bar second incredulous. John Major were to go important election in this country for years Family: Your overdraft is pWitics on my degree/ “(Looks polls with the speech “r eighteen years would be May 1st, the beginning to make the Brazilian incredulous) Name a Conservative Party pra inquiry ‘Will you be voting in the national debt seem like ‘A tenner till New Labour policy?...(Giggle) I beer prices for students forthcoming election?’ should have Thursday, cheers mate.’ You blame the couldn’t name one policy full stop.” Planet Earth on Thursc needed no farther explanation. The minor Secretary of State for Education for the charge of the not inconsiderable task of “Erm, are they going to change the grant.” Blur are f**kin’ top. G reduction of your grant. But can you name implementing the government’s university (Adopt Paxman style voice.) Well Tony himself a couple of tho matter of the Union elections ballot box that particular minister? funding policy and, well, your grant basically. Blair has suggested the idea of a graduate tax, university town quicka being packed away some days previously I’ll have to hurry you. Congratulations to those of you who were but you’ll have to be more specific than that. “Don’t get your perm c should not even have needed mentioning. “Is it Mr Take All Your Money?” pre-empting this paragraph’s shock Let’s see if our finalists round the comer can Mr Blair.” Whatever hj Of course, such hopeful assumptions had I’m sorry, you lose a life. revelation, and were well aware that Blunkett do any better. Can you name a New Labour fervent student politics reckoned without the Old Bar factor. Or, if “Oh, she was on telly this morning... It’s a wasn’t a cousin of Dame Edna Everidge, or policy? rabid marches on Wes® you have a moment, Old Bar on a Wednesday woman, I’m sure... Is it Virginia Bottomley?” the man who operated Basil Brush. Your “Honestly? Oh, today’s a really dopey anybody really misses^ afternoon as the post exam crowds scurry in Close, but I’m afraid the answer you were reward, should you chose to accept it, is to day... Oh god, I can’t think.” days. Most of us, your ; to get comfortably, convincingly and looking forwas Gillian Shepard. You miss feel utterly smug until the end of the article. “Yeah, they’re going to have a windfall included, are far morei colossally wasted factor. Considered political out on the power drill. Over to the TV lounge Not that anybody really thought that tax.” what remains of our gn opinion? “Sorry mate, we sold out three hours third years Family. The big question: Can you Labour’s esteemed education secretary was Congratulations on answering the question buying paracetamol wi ago.” In depth political knowledge? “Hmmm, name your local MP? related to an Australian transvestite, or our survey revealed six out of ten victims not march on Westmin! sounds familiar. I’ll see what we’ve got out “My MP at home?... I can’t remember his messed around with foxes’ backsides for a prefer to leave blank. Yet it’s one thing to just and, erm, guard the bai the back... No, sorry, but I can do you a name... He’s Lib Dem though. I can see his living, although the current crop of political about be able to name a single party policy, government tries to clq decent deal on apathy.” This is not the place face. Not very nice.” scandals makes you think there could be an and another to vote that particular party in or they’ll believe that. to come looking for your government “Yeah, he’s a slimy little toad.” MP for Somewhere or Other who is keeping out of government. Some of the students of Yet fifteen or so yet majority, although if you are looking for a Interview special

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35 ARNDALE CENTRE, OTLE Tel: 0113 274 6746 Faxi [co n ten ts > Friday April 26 1997 Q9 affixi? ['©fijsoGfe fixsff f l s a M s dJufkss ffloBg w m sB s (2M3 asoofir 4-5 FJ

They might have been nin in by police after playing LMUSU, but they’re Fun Lovin’ Criminals till they die KHOOOR KHIR. 0 Khooor khir, the tough- breathing Lord of the Sith a is turning cinemagoers to the Dark Side of c lu b s schooldays nostalgia. • Return of the Jedi hits the big screen today - curse the We’ve seen the future and it’s dark. Unim ’n’ w Ewoks but prepare for the greatest climax of any bass as never before with DJ Ed Rush A movie ever. Enhanced, too.

•••••••••••••• • • • • • • •••••••• books 1 GOTCHA! The Currant Bun is backing our boys in I the election campaign by Agota Kristof and other bad ideas on how to telling the nation to vote I Labour. Okay, okay, so you take your mind off the dissertation blues don’t like Labour anymore, , but matches are always more exciting when you’ve got a side to cheer for. a r t s Maybe The Sun will be put 1 0 - 1 3 H back in LUU cm May 2. IWin Town is the Welsh Trainspotting - just don’t say that to the director. Justin Penrose did and fust survived NOT BECAUSE they I invoked the romantic hazy days of glorious FA I cup giant-killing, but for o giving the millionaires of 1 4 ( 3 r a d i a run for their money. Cheers to LSR is back on the airwaves. TUm to the Leicester too, and here’s hoping: two cup final indispensable guide to the latest sound burst defeats and relegation? 1 5 - 2 2 i n v i s i o n

IT’S THE one after Four on your TV. Could your The bit you were really waiting for, parents pick it up? No, mine neither. It seems your pull-out digest of the week’s arts Leeds 6 is the only reception area in the entire and entertainment. And it’s free country, a pity since everyone seems to have cable these days. As pointless as David James. 2 3 n t e l e v i s i o n

Juice cover: Revealed: the only reason why Channel 5 Oliver Quinn is worth twisting your telly aerial for ANNOYING AS hell if 1 you were trying to get back _ into Leeds by train last w Friday. Especially if you Juice’s weekly rant a! British culture missed your only chance 9 ever to get on telly. Still. i® M s ©[F^iMdln] :l^ S [n lI^ I shows what a telephone A can do if you’ve got a c ’ m o n I love in entirely predictable mentioned whereas the awfully age just to make his King Lear particularly unrevised-for ' situations, but I think The insipid English Patient swept all the more convincing? A gb exam the next morning... the board. Another travesty, plague on all our houses. Kenneth Branagh. Terminator has more to do another triumph for incredibly King Ken has proved time Then the backlash. with reality. Comedy? Don’t boring romances over the and again he is a man among Suddenly he couldn’t act, he make me laugh. world’s greatest playwright- boys, and should be knighted couldn’t direct he certainly Try Shakespeare. Branagh did, and did it brilliantly, his actor-director team. for leading the charge of couldn’t hold a candle to The backlash of the Shakespeare back to the big the grand old gents of HEROIN is bad banal has gone so far that screen. Hang ornate comedies- British theatre. Even 9 enough. Having to follow you couldn’t even get to of-manners, for gritty realism THE Great British tradition as Emma Thompson decided The Terminator has the Tories about distinctly see Hamlet anywhere in try Macbeth. sportsmen are wont to tell us is she’d be better going off A worse. But the cult Leeds on its release. It What could be worse than the backlash. Nobody lives and winning Oscars on author’s lowest ebb has to more to do with reality finally tiptoes onto the kicking Ken? Bullying the forever. If Labour wins by a her own instead. a be his switch from the stage at the Hyde Park in Bard, I guess. Cultural landslide, Tony Blair can The sheer injustice of second most unread paper late June. distinctions are collapsed, expect his honeymoon to last a it. Thompson’s smug Austen Henry V duffing up Olivier’s _ in Britain to the first The What sickness has struck EastEnders in and good two-and-a-half minutes. movie was as beautiful, gentle twice over. Now comes W Observer to The Indie on the heart of Britain that it can Shakespeare out this is the Spice Girls beware. and direfully dull as... an Hamlet, an epic rendition ^K^fSunday. At least he’s got turn so shamelessly on this nightmare vision of the future. Kenneth Branagh used to Austen novel. You might enjoy studded with some more cultish material national treasure? Are we People don’t really speak in be invincible. He was so damn a collection of toffs prancing actors. to wax on about.. determined to force Branagh iambic pentameters anyway, wonderful they started to call about with elegantly poised Oscars? Not on your life. all the way to madness in old do they? V T By David VLaurence Olivier the old handkerchiefs and falling in Hamlet was barely even 15 Friday February 28 1997

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LEE BRYER is summoned to London in order to cross- examine the self-styled Kings (Single of the W eek) of New THE CRIME: An irresistibly cool of record company PR on the band, and smooth sound, combining rock, it has become apparent that the entire JOCASTA-CHANGE ME funk and jazz, with just enough blues British music press has nothing bad (Epic) to give this eclectic collection a to say bout this three- ANOTHER fantastic pop-song-with- heart. piece. A band that gets no bad press. an-edge from a band deserving of far This has lead me to assume that wider recognition. Perhaps not their THE SUSPECTS (UNUSUAL): either they really are the Coolest strongest tune, I still think that Jocasta Three New York hoodlums; Huey, Band in the World or there is fear of rule and don’t care who knows it. So Steve and Fast, collectively known a Mafioso style reprisal, Huey and there. as the Fun Lovin’ Criminals. Fast have previously offered threats of “little packages.” After listening BIS - EVERYBODY THINKS THEY’RE THE SCENE: The Paradise Bar, to arguably the best debut of GOING TO GET THEIRS (WIIJa) North-west London. last year and reading so much hype, I’m even more determined to find a It is my sincerest hope that Bis gets t was that sort of early Spring rough edge to these diamonds. It’s a theirs, preferably starting with that I afternoon with that warm personal crusade... and anyway I irritating little **** (you know who I sunshine and a still breeze, where know my postman. mean). The complete ineptititude of silent streets are just waiting for The Paradise Bar is one of those this attempt at ska cannot be something to happen. In London this continental-style bars where, beer understated. Bis must die. doesn’t take too long. “Praise the comes in a half-pint glass and the Lord, not those Criminals... those customers think of themselves as BILLY BRAGG- THE BOY DONE lying Criminals... Praise the Lord,” clientele. As you could imagine, if GOOD (Cooking Vinyl) is the cry of one devout resident of you’ve ever seen the FLC, they don’t West Kilbum. If this is the general fit in. The place is bohemian to the Very Billy Bragg. The boy done good consensus it would seem that the point of being a geographical but he has done better. ‘Nuff sajd. streets of London are not quite as extremity of France, it’s too avant- ready for something this Fun Lovin’ garde, even for north-west London. SUBCIRCUS-YOU LOVE YOU and Criminal to happen, as those of The interview takes place in the (Eekii) New York, or this is going to be a first floor bar, which looks “Sad Loathin’ and Allowable” authentically French, but feels More pop musings from Subcircus, encounter. excessively thematic. The FLC are who never appear to stray from a path Since receiving a copy of the yet to arrive so use is made of the bar of crass mediocrity. Still containing FLC’s current album (Come Find tab and vegetarian buffet. When they traces of Radiohead, it would appear Yourself) and an inordinate amount do arrive I’m half way through plate that the title is aimed primarily at the band rather than the listener.

DAVID BOWIE - DEAD MAN WALKING (RCA)

Still experimenting and evolving, Bowie has this time gone for a more Y o u r - industrial approach, although the drum’n’bass element is still there. Surprisingly listenable, I think it’s you’d smoked enough about time that you made up your rags and put ‘em out to mind grandad. keep Marlboro afloat for the next ten years. GUN-CRAZY YOU (A&M) Then there was “Going I Out”, which was damn.fine “All tracks written by Gizzi, Gizzi, |(PARL0PH0NE) and reminded everyone of Rankin” - proof that it’s not just me Revolver-era Beatles. And but also their parents who hate them. I W "m emember then... nothing, not even a refuse to believe that anyone, for quirky, jokey summer song other than sarcastic reasons, could pay Supergrass? They for ’96. But nobody minded money for this. JLVlooked like monkeys, acted like too much because “Good monkeys and made Enough” was annoying Reviews by Nils music like extremely everyone instead, and as Eastwood rumour had it, Supergrass' talented monkeys. were doing new stuff which “Alright” was, well, was quite good. Even so, alright until you heard' surely even they didn’t for the 435th time, when realise just how good it really"

J Every Friday

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of fried lettuce and boiled tofu, and on much is fact. Their characteristics and the urban environment from which is fortunately for me, unfortunately for well as their cocktails, which leaves me my third bottle of Corona, which I’ve collective stories would read so well that was created just as their comic and you!), while Steve and Fast continually thinking that like any good film thriller found dulls the rubbery flavour of I’m left wondering whether I’m watching reserved personalities are suited to the play at being the drunken regulars... as there has to be a sequel, these characters reconstituted Soya to the point that I’m a film play its course... although, with men themselves. Like the music they you could imagine they fit into the roles must be coming back with sounds seeking inebriation. their names, mannerisms and choice of create, they have characteristics which with ease, and once again I’m left supremely slinky and swinging as what The band are lead in by the attire it’s perhaps more realistically a have to be found... and they give away watching the film... sorry, I should say they’ve left us with this time, I’ve no moustachioed Huey, who is holding onto cartoon: The Hair Bear Bunch meets nothing. the comedy capers of the Travis Bickle doubt about it. Until then check out their a carrier bag of Becks like his life Raymond Chandler... 70’s funk grooves The highlights of the night come by Beanie Bunch in an episode of Cheers... current single, “The King of New York”. depended on it. Steve and Fast follow with a SO’s plot, lots of sharp suits, black the way of pushing their answers to wondering just how much further they By the way I’ve not been blinded by the with Champagne, all wearing brand ties and 01^5an driven music. explanation. The FLC speak better with can blur fact and fiction. I just wished the hype, I’ve gone beyond their “cool” name beanies and puffa’s... they either In essence this press bun-fight is an actions than words, so instead of asking world could witness the outcome... a bar facade, and I’ve found their rough edge... feel the cold or are now displaying their attempt to provide the best PR for their about their life and work in the New full of journalists drinking... no, who would believe it but all three like new found wealth, the album has just razor sharp new single, “The King of York cocktail club circuit, it’s far more inebriated on “Liquid Crack” talking Chris Evans and think he’s a “funny been certified gold. Not bad considering New York” and subsequently their year intriguing to let them play it out. Huey about John Gotti, Howard Marks, Ritchie guy”. Their veiled hero worship is now success had never been an impetus for old album, which has been redefined by played the role of the barman and Blackmore and of all things, public and I’ve got their mob-cool rantings, and it’s obvious this surprisingly late media interest proceeded to make a concoction called censorship. It seems that to watch my from their reluctance to settle into the All the time I’m asking myself “Liquid Crack” (ingredients not back. Cut conversation that they’re a little can you sell something which to the perturbed by the “sudden” interest in sells itself? It’s obvious from chase... their background and lifestyles. the music and present record sales that this isn’t a band hen an album comes out of you can market, it’s a W nowhere and gets as many rave band you have reviews as Come Find Yourself to go out and did, it’s not long before people start find for looking beyond the music and getting a yourself. little bit more personal with the They’ve questions. As it goes the conversation is created their all question and answer stuff, it own niche in subsequently becomes clear that they the market value their personal privacy to the point with a totally of being silent, and it’s obvious if they individual don’t want to talk about something sound, and they’re not going to. Subjects broached done so well but not discussed include Quentin by word of Tarantino, Steve’s romance with mouth that Republica’s Saffron, Deep Purple’s they don’t “Smoke on the Water” and the US really need marines... make of it what you will, but someone else these are definitely shady characters. doing the The talk is mostly of drugs, drink, talking, even violence and their music, which has so if there is a far provided the soundtrack to theirfilm distinct lack of noir existence. Consequently it becomes it on their part. increasingly difficult to distinguish how Their music much of their talk is fiction and how agrees with Student Parties! The Stock Exchange. M o n e y Open Package Includes— Free ‘til FREE club hire* Prizes/ Mega drinks offers was. of their own identity. Every that Messrs. McCartney and 2am Drinks! The prodigious dope- single song screams at you to Townsend would be kicking smbkeirs that Supergrass are, sing along: “Sun Hits The off their sequined slippers and Budget buffets you’d have half expected a Sky”, “Tonight” and running round the house with Stone Roses or Massive “Cheapskate” are all fantastic, glee after one listen of In It Party/chart A dance music Attack-esque sojourn, cocksure rock songs, and on For The Money rather than whereupon they’d return in the other side of the coin, the recoiling in horror and FREE ticket service the year 2000 firmly stuck up smattering of slower tunes are embarrassment. their own arses. But no. It’s cooler, more contemplative Almost two years ago now, Open ‘til 2am been a fair few months, but and frankly, greater than we proclaimed how with In It For The Money, anything else around at the ridiculously easy it was to fall the wait has been more than moment. There’s no “Alright” in love with I Should Coco. In FREE case of beer for all party worth it. style song that’ll stick around It For The Money is similar organisers * over 100 people. With recent single “Richard at the top of the charts for love at first sight stuff, but III” a signal of intent, there’s ages, but maybe that’s a good with the songs this time around RING John to | Complete this booking form an energy and vitality thing. to make Supergrass a long to make your reservation by throughout the album which The wonderful thing, ’ lasting relationship rather than book your party In | hasn’t been captured on however, about this Oxford a brief fling. What with recent p o s t record by anybody since, trio is that fine, their' from The Chemical the diary! erm, I Should Coco, influences are there for all to Brothers, The Charlatans and i basically. see - the usual Beatles, Who Cast, Supergrass had some A d d re s s :- At the same time though, the etc., but unlike Ocean Colour competition, but it’s a measure (0113) songs on the new record are Scene, Kula Shaker and the of this great band that this far, far better - somehow rest of the dadrock clan album is the best of the crop by 2450536 T b L N o - they’ve managed to bury all Supergrass manage to craft a considerable margin. A truly 6 York Place the sickeningly twee bits of something so refreshing at the amazing record. Date of Partyi* Britpop without losing any same time. You get the feeling Ben East Leeds 1. s / The Stock Exchange In association with Planet Earth. 17 T h e

Across, I. Succccd, penning couple of 8s in bay before returning. (6) IffltGD 5. Beginning a 8 for 26. (8) 9. 23 fee. Stand made secure. (8) 10. The ultimate 26 has intelligence for flighty creature. (6) The first correct entry to the Juice crossword competition will I I. Arduous getting to one 8 that few 1. (8) scoop a crisp tenner. Bring your completed crossword to the Leeds 12. Indian fool gets 26 2 back with effortlessness, we hear. (8) Student office, either at LMUSU or LUU, and the cash prize could be 13. Put in water, simmer, boil, and eat first. (7) yours. The closing date for entries is Monday April 28 16. Set off charger? (7) 20. Endorsed dove in order to 1 a very quiet king. (8) 22. Absent bore excelled. (8) 23. A 8 for Curt, unfinished, emasculates. (6) 24. Classy one in Cannes 23 annoying situation. (24) 25. Very touched, ring Val and Edna initially to meet 7. (8) 26 & 2down. 23 for same start. One o f many among 18. (6,2,4)

Down. The ju ic e 2. See 26across. crossword is 3. 14 “Surrounding Age’ Able to read. (8) devised by Will 4. Still 2? (8) Wollen 5. Former queen accepts good man - experienced seaman. (7) 6. Ghostly highs oscillatc round headless soul. (8) 7. 5ac rcccivcs me right after firm beginner. (8) 8. Landlord gets 26, perhaps, printed address. (10) 12. A denizen of the deep on a venison producer, we hear, is enthusiast^ 10) 14. Give wrong name. Initially Len gets 21 after we hear “Overshot il!” (8) 15. Persuasive language 23 choristcr without point. (8) 17. 1 stop men drunkenly showing favour to relatives. (8) 18. Members of a university produce working animal - a non S.I. model. (8) 19. Perfect finish, perhaps? (7) 21. Start after 19 is actor’s sign to stop. (6)

NOT EVERYTHING IN BLACK AND WHITE MAKES SENSE. GUINNESS Recruitment Open Day - University of Leeds Tuesday 29th April 11.00am to 6.30pm SEASONAL VACANCIES - (SPRING/SUMMER) Have you been in a bookies recently? It’s a far cry from what you might expect. State of the art technology brings the World’s sporting events live to our shops and text screens transmit up to date results throughout the day. It’s a terrific team-based environment, especially on big race/sports days. Throughout the Spring/Summer (April to September) we open our doors CAN Y O U MAKE SENSE OF THIS? until late into the evenings, and on Sundays, to allow our customers to take IF SO THEN READ ON. advantage of the full sporting calendar. With over 40 shops in and the surrounding areas, we are able to offer part-time, temporary work to enthusiastic students, who are relatively flexible, and who can ARE OFFERING YOU commit themselves, initially to 16 hours per week, and more during our GUINNESS busiest periods, July and August. THE CHANCE TO BECOME A "STUDENT No experience is necessary, we'll provide you with all the training and OFFICER" AT THIS UNIVERSITY. | support you need to provide our customers with a level of service that is second to none. You will, however, need to be presentable, friendly and have a head for figures. i f y o u a r e RESILIENT, SOCIABLE f We can offer a rate of £3.67 per hour, £7.34 on Sundays, together with the AND HAVE A REAL EMPATHY FOR I range of benefits you would expect from a large organisation. Interested? If you are over-18, based in Leeds throughout the 9 THEN COLLECT I GUINNESS Spring/Summer period, and you would like to gain valuable work AN APPLICATION FORM FROM YOUR experience with a well-respected organisation, why not call into our CAREERS SERVICE, OR PHONE RUTH BEESLEY Recruitment Open Day on Tuesday 29th April between 11.00am and 6.30pm to find out more? AT GUINNESS BREWING ON I Venue: Committee Rooms A and B, 0181 - 965 7700 EXT. 3974 o Student Union Building (off Woodhouse Lane). Alternatively, ring 0113 244 2647 for CLOSING DATE 9TH MAY 97 & more information. INTERVIEWS WILL BE HELD NEAR YOUR CAMPUS DURING MAY ‘97 £ We’re in the people business The future is now; Ed Rush, Drum ’n’ Bass DJ and producer on the No-U-Turn label, talks to NICK O ’MEALLY about the darkside of the new millennium

£ C F T ! hese are angry rhythms of recent dark trackscks like Doc society we've got a lot of info to take talents talents ofof Fierce, Trace and Dom & getting our heads down to it and Scott's, "Shadow boxing". “Sector 3”, times.” The music "Sector 3", in. Our music reflects that". Roland) Roland) “I‘ was just this young kid getting in the zone, we just came with Ed’s latest release on No-U-Turn is a U-Turn is a Ed Rush started DJing seven years spending spending all of my money on records. I this simple basic step. I wouldn't say X says so as you frenzied fusion of base and sonic d sonic ago, "I was just a Hip-Hop head that's was was justjust ini a beat frenzy I had to have we were the first one to do it we just descend the steps into Mex for sounds. A sensory overload mirroring id mirroring all I listened two. My mates said we’re beats beats twentytwe four hours a day pumped took it in our own little direction”. the Dope Friday nighter. Over the pace of nineties culture.s- going to this rave. I'm like no man I into into mymy systems otherwise I'd go mad". The old cliche, art imitating life is the past year a deeper, darker ating life is can't be digging that fucking computer Ed Ed refutesref the charge that his tune ike fellow Jungalist's before him strain of D&B has edged its an apt description for “Bludclot Artattack”, Ed’s style and ^ y L the Ed Rush sound is in demand way to the forefront of y (more influenced around the world: “People are influences, “Working l wai JL than dark sci-fi) was progressive British breakbeat. for three or four years ‘I was just in a beat frenzyy I . feeling the same vibes from the music worldwide. At a Metalheadz nightuit In the Dope basement a driving a van stuck in ll£ )H responsible for the recent traffic Monday to M W W U I O U r tidal wave of tech step, the leisure lounge I can play exactly digital storm’s breaking over had to have beats twenty four the same set as I’d play in Iceland or Friday nine till six. "To be honest with you the dance floor, to the sound Dillinja was coming with New Zealand". Global stardom When it came to Friday Hhours O U r S a day pumped into my beckoning Ed still believes it’s the of industrial breaks. night and I got into the I l l y some of the early tech Run for cover or stand your studio I was feeling ._ . step also people like Doc smaller venues that are right for the future of D&B: “I like smaller clubs 1 ground, this isn’t for the faint angry... We’re reaching systemJJ 0 l v l otherwise I’d go mad]^ Q 9 Scott. ‘Bludclot', was like Dope. Up here people are less the new millennium, something that I felt I hearted.The person responsible is inhibited on the dance floor. No the cropped-haired kid behind the and iTs time for some could contribute to the Drum 'n' Bass scene. It disrespect to London people because new sounds. The music is a reflection mad music, I went down there had the decks. Ed Rush from London wasn't particularly futuristic or before I’m a Londoner myself, but the city of what we’re dealing with from day to time of my life that was it converted, Town, pioneer of the Tech step it’stim e it was just something I was breed of person is a different type of day. The planet's getting smaller as far switched". Restless and itching to style of Drum ’n’ Bass, and No-U- dealing with at the time. The real person. In the clubs it's all standing as technology goes. People are doing make music Ed hooked up with the Turn collaborator. switch came about with the Mutant around and that pallaver. Up here there more ridiculous and mad things than bloke across the road Nico Skyes, The Rush sound is hard and dark, a remix, (a remix of T -Power’s ‘Mutant in i t ... I like that”. they’ve ever done before. In todays (later to become the No-U-Turn departure from the clinical uncluttered Jazz”), Trace, Nico and I did. One collective including the darkcore night of smoking a lot of weed and ' Contributions: Jo Parkinson j i •' • •; ■' y •• . , • ' i a " m Monday Tuesday Wedsnesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday tmm I. J.;' ,. e The Miracle sTheM&M g Stephen E Spice of life sFresh&Funky sTheRude e Interstate « house .funk a disco « Mooch S Thome £ vinyl chaos « add jazz « Awakening « Gospel Show | Monday tfematiue ECracklin' oh § No Fiction | Biggin'in the | The Latin iDrban Hustle e Matt & Neil ® Apocalypse b GlOOVeS tunes o indie pop ® Crates rarities £ Section e jazzhop ® indie a hand info T s Monflay-Friday lunchtime Cafe sponsored by Cafe Junction. e Trainspotting . Bk e Sabotage N Music, Chat & Comedy Shorts, featuring daily guests, competitions a massive giveaways m sponsored by Exit § vinyl junkies r E PaUl sponsored by Ik e Daisy & Havoc E Illustrious e Cookin'Mo Jazz e Phil Smith E DJK rhyme e Sunday Joint b vague 3 house/soul/biphop b rhylri a reason “ ■ live jazz *Raynor“ a*ta"1* ...... ^Breaknlkiazi “ punka hardcore E Session 5 sCaHum e Red Eye Special E Asian e Mike Clarke e Chris Madden s Nicky § indie ^punk a Reggae § drama bass § Underground “ breakbeat hip hop m soundclash cm reggae

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20 Thus Stella is held at arms length and made to feel like a total outsider within her own THE ILLUSIONIST family. She is often hurt by her failure to cultivate a close JENNIFBI JOHNSTON. relationship with her daughter MINERVA E8.W who frequently informs against her and always takes Martyn’s side in arguments. Stella compensates by throwing tella, a successful herself into her writing, the novelist is preparing to stof Double Bill S success of which incurs further welcome home her hostility from Martyn who daughter after the death of craves fame and recognition fir Stella’s estranged husband for his spectacular illusions. upon the effects of the Second Martyn. The novel moves Now Stella must attempt to World War. It comes as smoothly between the present thaw her chilly relationship no surprise to situation and Stella’s with Robin by comforting her find that remembrances of her over the death of a man who Ms destructive, yet also strangely constitutes both a much Kristof intoxicating revered father was forced relationship and yet also a to flee her with a man for strangely homeland of whom she gives imperious T ^T eed a lighthearted escape Hungary up family, husband from stressful summer term after the friends and The Illusionist J L 1 deadlines? Then Agota failed career to live in offers a Kristof is absolutely the worst revolution of almost total compelling and possible choice of author you 1959. She’s isolation in the perceptive look clearly been countryside. could turn to. These books are at human among the most evocative and deeply affected by Despite these relations and her gruesome sacrifices their slow and beautifully written I have ever experiences and it Martyn, an painful read, but the stories they tell are all comes out in this illusionist by disintegration. ruthlessly depressing. book, where she trade, remains a It is told in an In Yesterday our anti-hero is Tobias - explores themes of the total enigma to elegant yet easy an unstable and lonely emigrant with a consequences of war his wife to read style by tenuous grip upon reality. He’s burdened upon human behaviour. throughout Johnston, now with the effects of a traumatic The insight displayed by their marriage. recognised as upbringing, and it all becomes too much these stories is He abhors her one of Ireland’s when a childhood acquaintance - who’s remarkable, and despite secrecy, yet finest writers. his sister - refuses to marry him. This the extreme nature of her and her individual approach to writing is tells her The reader is made to feel novella charts his doomed and tragic characters’ suffering it’s nothing short of a triumph. Reading nothing about himself, his Stella’s isolation and misery love affair but Kristof’s melancholy tale impossible not to empathise with them. both books in succession was a bit too work, or his past life. Indeed keenly as she struggles comes alive, even in translation from In some ways Kristof’s style is intense, but one in isolation is a deeply it is only after his death, in a unsuccessfully to both the original French, by virtue of a remarkably reminiscent of such moving and highly recommended surprising twist that his understand and be understood uniquely poetic style. Her writing is European emigrant writers as Kundera experience. And you never know - motivations in life are made by the two people who should sparing and understated, perfectly and Marquez, exploiting the effects of compared to the lives of these clear. Stella’s inability to be closest to her when in fact conveying Tobias’s repressed emotion magic realism to convey a sense that characters, you might be persuaded that understand her husband incurs they are poles apart. This is a and suffering - these are fairy tales their experiences are too intense for your revision-filled existence is a both the contempt of Martyn, truly heartrending tale that is without the happy ending, yet equally expression in traditional realist styles. thrilling and fun-packed one after all. and ultimately that of their compelling. Yet Kristof writes with an extreme well worth taking the time to Charlotte Heathcote young daughter Robin with read. The three stories in The Book Of Lies minimalism which creates a more whom Martyn frequently deal with similar material but focus forceful impact of shell-shock than her confides. Helen Morrissey

ultimately transient and abusive, and sex is perfunctory, reduced to Labour MP, a once influential Hell anyway; the fact that a mere “lips, tits, clit, in”. g g j g i m i feminist turned tabloid agony after leaving the Beatles, Chalfoun draws from her own aunt and the entrepreneurial Pete Best worked in Careers experiences travelling with a OFFICIAL AND DOUBTFUL owner of a high class restaurant. SWEET LIBERTY Advice in . ROUSTABOUT However, for a book of 350 circus to confirm the myths that Of course, as this is a JOSEPH O'CONNOR MICHELLE CHALFOUN have always surrounded it Yes, A JAY CLOSE thriller, there are deep, dark and pages the good jokes are the clown is a depressive and an PICADOR £5.99 spread a touch thin. FLAMINGO £5.99 MINERVA £8.09 terrible secrets a plenty, and alcoholic, and backstage because the novel veers towards While O’Connor’s enthusiasm is infectious at here’s a key scene towards backstabbing is pervasive, an rmed with a blackmail the everything-but-the-kitchen- /""Tweet Liberty is a the end of Roustabout, altogether more real game of sink school of writing, Nan has ^ travelling story with an first, you are left with the T note, three possible impression that he’s trying Chalfoun’s debut novel, in knife-thiowing. Her skill is to recipients her own LJ intriguing idea: an which Mat, the central eponymous transcend the stereotypes A mysterious and Irishman crossing America too hard to impress you. (all publicly Many of the incidents that roustabout of a travelling circus, uncompromisingly and vividly, known), and a murky past as to visit the nine Dublin's to looks on as an ex-lover dances the tightness of the writing making well. be found from New England he relates about hotels and down-to-earth public transport may be the tenderly with the unnerving despair of postal worker We are treated to to California to discover his new the circus troop’s lives all sex, politics, how much reality of heroine.Topped travelling in partner in a the more concentrated. off with an murder, all manner Irishness is downtown At once a caustic of amateur left there. It America but enthusing they don’t make bar to the intertwining of a recommendation psychological is a journey strains of community’s voices, a musing, more that takes particularly from John le great reading. Tom Waits’ kind of Neighbours for Carre Ajay murder, and find it O’Connor ‘Tom manic depressives if you all ties together from a porn O’Connor’s Close’s debut strength is that Traubert’s like, it is at the same time novel almost with the obligatory cinema to Blues”. a moving account of an unexpected twist discussions of he doesn’t screams “required patronize or talk Like Waits, adolescence destroyed, reading” at three quarters of Roman Chalfoun with the young Mat the way through. Catholicism, down to the anyone with even reader as can be scratches passed from one low-life a passing interest What saves this from away the to another to be novel from joining traditional the tendency for in the genre of the travellers. underbelly of manipulated. Like the psychological the massed ranks Irish singing America to character in the Waits of the faceless thriller is the to Elvis Rather than thriller. preach from the give voice to song, she bares her soul Nan Megrattaworks a flowing, descriptive prose style Presley. Your die openly, inadvertently of Ms. Close and an attention to enjoyment of pulpit, he tells mundane job in the Returned stories across dispossessed, begging people to wound Letters (official and doubtful) detail so acute that Sweet Liberty drawing out as a result the basic her. becomes a living, breathing city will largely the table with a department of the Glasgow Post Guinness in his hand and a humanity that exists even in the The world of the circus in all Office. The arrival on her desk within the novel’s pages. The depend upon how much you most desperate of circumstances. its cut-throat detail then, unfolding story develops at a cracking like the narrative figure of glint in his eye. of a perfectly legible blackmail However, at times you The insular world of the circus like a ringside performance, the letter in a perfectly illegible pace, and sets up so many O’Connor. Quite a few of allows her to consider the explosive ending a fitting and questions in its opening his anecdotes are amusing: may wish you were having envelope prompts Nan into an a drink with somebody else. pressures and constraints of co­ ultimately uplifting denouement attempt at locating the possible chapters that it is difficult to his theory about Catholics habiting with the same people leave the book unfinished. being more depraved sexual vietim. Three characters of Magnus night and day over several years. Robin Parker partners because they think dubious intention are so Buchanan introduced: a womanising Richard Auty that they’ll being going to Relationships are intense yet 21 1 0 J u i c e Friday April 25 1997 FROM EASTER" FACTORY INSPECTION CHICKS TO lain Banks’ The Wasp Factory has landed on the stage. SPIKE came back FEAST OF buzzing with excitement and stung a few cast members for their thoughts FLICKS senses. “Darkly, darkly funny” and “Bizarre, lot in life. These Although this was a preview there the most exciting piece of theatre to ruminations are The latest cinema were no discernible creases to iron do and rehearse” The rest of the cast excellent in print THE WASP FACTORY out. This was obviously something seem to share his enthusiasm and but how can they releases eggsplored WEST YORKSHIRE PLAYHOUSE new in terms of theatre for all the with this endorsement alone, punters be successfully by BEN COOK small cast to are in for a played? Director APRIL 18-MAY 17 wholeheartedly treat. Like the Malcolm throw their lot 'Gothic in the right book the play Sutherland told read The Wasp Factory into. Juice has chapter­ Juice that “a ROMEO & JOLIET about three years ago managed to like scenes monologue on thej Baz Luhrmann’s new take on and can’t remember catch a few sense' - David Gant that enable page is minutes with the world’s greatest love chunks of it but can still any Banks interesting. On David Gant who plays Frank’s father virgin to comprehend the impending stage it can be MP „ .. ^ story takes the present trend recallI the salient points and of placing Shakespeare in to great effect. Gant has just finished horror around the next corner. The difficult, so the Fa,her> Dav,d Gant the pervading horror within playing King Lear in Ireland and play is extremely faithful to the monologue needs to become a comtemporary times and goes its pages. though he speaks in a deep resonant original and here lies a potential dialogue”. This is achieved with a one step further - he makes Romeo and Juliet an action From Frank and his murderous voice, performs the high pitched problem in translating the piece to coup-like assurity and Frank is vocal acrobatics of the father’s part film with all the designer tendencies, his father’s anecdotes theatre. played by four different actors. It is superbly. In The Wasp Factory the main guns and customised cars and his brother Eric, driven mad an age old feature of the theatre to Speaking after the performance character Frank spends large have one actor play multiple roles that a boy could wish for. by his experiences as a trainee Gant explained that the play was amounts of time pondering about his but how can you have three Franks With a pulsating doctor, it was with these half on stage at one time?. This really soundtrack and imaginative images that I entered the West does work and perceptibly adds to techniques to bring a fuller Yorkshire Playhouse asking the tension, paranoia and neurosis of text to the screen, the whether it could be transplanted the whole play.lt is the complete Australian director turns to the stage? Beforehand and synchronicity which binds the two what could have been a complete mess into a possibly with some cynicism I main Franks together and their perfect timing which makes the play. triumph, celebrating both the would have said no it can’t be genius af Shakespeare and done, but with the team currently All the acting is accomplished and delivered clearly. Coupled with the wonders of modern doing this play I would say “Boy voice and soundtrack recordings and cinema. does this work or what !” over one hundred video screens, Leonardo DiCaprio and Half cinematic, half pure theatre the play incorporates the total Claire Danes are well and half (oh yes) internet/ spectrum of muti-media and extends matched lovers, but it is cyberspace/ beyond the hour an a half, no really the opposing couple of dance/ interval, show to a cybercafe in the drag queen Mercutio and puppetshow bar. DJs can be found playing in the devil prince Leguizamo who and TV this bar along with appearances from command the screen. is amazing. acrobats on ropes. All this makes for With links to other plays The stage set a thoroughly enjoyable experience. everywhere, and Art Deco is simple and If you’ve read the book the irony of scenery creating a base for simply the announcement that “hot dogs” fast zooms and edits, it is staggering are on sale in the restaurant at the almost an extended pop with end is even sweeter. Excellent. video, but as a whole it is a expressionist cinematic feast pushing back doors, Gothic The Wasp Factory is showing the boundaries of the Bard. symbolism Monday to Saturday 8pm and prices and lighting start full price from £7.50 and and sound to discount Monday to Thursday from METRO assault your Two Franks: Martin Freeman, left and Tom Smith £5. In the new action vehicle for Eddie Murphy, the main problem is that the leading man keeps turning into Axel Foley, the hero from Beverly Hills Cop. It is no-one’s fault, but whenever Murphy laughs, the notes of Harold LIAR LIAR THE CABLE GUV Faltermyer’s electronic theme immediately hit your child and is divorced from his wife. ears. This is quite a problem He lies for a living, and he’s very 5 S S D S for this serious and violent thriller about a hostage LIAR LIAR good at it, until one day his son THE CARLE GUY wishes that he would stop lying for negotiator. OIR: TOM SHADYAC just one day. Hilarity ensues, or at DIR: REN STILLER STARS: JIM CARREY least a few mild chuckles. STARS: JIM CARREY This plot is merely a device to get FEVER PITCH ■ im Carrey - comic genius or Carrey into various tight situations From the first scene of a I overpaid wanker? This is where lying would be the norm, T his new vehicle for school football team # W the question that plagues me and waiting for his face to do the Jim Carrey marks perfecting a replica Arsenal asT sit down for his new film, rest. He meets his bosses, insults a a departure from defence with arms aloft and Liar Liar. Ninety minutes later policeman, goes to court, then his other films and cries to the linesman to the the question remains the same prison, and the whole thing ends presents a worrying dark opening bars of “There She but now the possibility is that he with the most ludicrous chase Goes” by the La’s, Fever is in fact both. sequence in history, involving an side to the comic actor. Pitch hits all the right notes. The film is hugely funny in airplane and a set of motorised Carrey plays manic cable A lame phrase I know, but places, but so bland and slight in boarding steps. TV installer, Chip when a film about someone’s others that all comic momentum is But, by the end, Carrey has Douglous, who stalks his lost. The one liners, good as they become a great father,won back his clients and forces their love of the football team you hate makes your hair stand are, become lost in the sea of sugar- ex-wife and seen the error of his friendship with the threat on end, you realise the film­ sweetness which surround them. lying ways. It becomes a Jerry film Carrey is of violence. more akin to thriller chillers makers must have done This is not Carrey’s fault it must be Maguire for the Dumb & Dumber We soon learn that the characteristically wacky and such as Single White Female. said, but the writer’s insistence on generation, but worth sitting occasionally hilarious. As it something right. reason for his madness is due It is doubtful that Carrey fans The film focuses on just accompanying the comedy with a through for the out-takes at the end. progresses, however, the jokes to a neglected childhood in will be impressed. This film one season, and is all the schmaltzy story about family The film and the star are well become very thin on the which he spent most of his is strangely uncomfortable to better than the book for it. values and real happiness really matched, they are both one joke ground and his buffonary time in front of the television. watch, too wierd to be With this added to the detracts from the entertaining phenomenons. He gets paid £20 becomes tinged with a The moral being that it not enjoyable but should be fictional aspects that are comedy. million for his rubber body, and the lingering malevolence. only rots your brain but viewed for these vgry reasons. taken on, the film is wittier And so to the story - Carrey is a film makes millions more from its This is a far cry from severely perverts it. and fresher than the original hot shot fast talking lawyer (its a rubber joke. In the early stages of the Dumb and Dumber and is Chris Collett comedy, ok!) who neglects his Benjamin Cook text. j 22 WHATEVER DID HAPPEN TO THE STAR WARRIORS? MARK HAMILL (Luke) Hamill’s acting career didn’t really go far after Return o f the Jedi - he has a turn as a bad guy in the incredibly stoopid sci-fi flop, Slipstream, and recently turned up in John Carpenter’s Body Bags as a man with a Satanic Hand. You can’t really blame him, then, for keeping off the big screen and getting involved in other, lucrative ventures like CD-ROM games, cartoon voice-overs and comics writing. HARRISON FORD (Han Solo) The only actor to really make it big thanks to Star Wars, Ford is now worth $20 billion and is still getting major starring roles, appearing next with Brad Pitt in a thriller, The Devil’s Own. A list of all his films would be pointless, seeing as everybody knows what he’s been up to for the past 20 years. CARRIE FISHER (Princess Lola) Like Hamill, Fisher didn’t really stick with an acting career, although you’ll find her in When Harry Met Sally, Amazon Women on the Moon and, um, Drop Dead Fred. She instead focused on writing, and came up with the very successful-semi- autobiographical novel Postcards from the Edge (made into a film starring Meryl Streep). Breathtaking pace, eye-popping fantasy and DAVID PROWSE (Darth Vader) Prowse never really got over the stunning special effects... and that was just the hype. fact he wasn’t allowed to do the Dark Lord’s voice, or have his own face in the unmasking scene STEVE COOPER feels the Force of the Star Wars in Return o f the Jedi. Still, he stuck with the role of the Green Cross Code man, touring the country until 1990, and currently aving had The which fell to the cutting- room woven together by Lucas’ and events fall together runs his own health club in Star TOirs floor due to budget, time and filmschool mentor Irvin cataclysmically on Cloud City is London. .Trilogy special effects constraints. Here Kerschner. While Star Wars as spellbinding as ever, the intergalactic pirate is ended on an ultimately particularly now that the rather ANTHONY DANIELS (C-3P0) ‘Special Edition’ so “seamlessly” inserted using satisfactory note witnessing the plastic sets of yore have been Daniels stuck with the role of the shamelessly shoved modem computer trickery, which evil Empire apparently brought replaced using a thoroughly petulant robot for some years, down our throats by although failing to truly to its knees, its sequel sees more convincing and thanks to the awful Droids marketing men convince, is a satisfying and neither a happy ending nor any sophisticated palette. Vader’s cartoon series, but was glad to desperate to see us revealing episode nonetheless. meaningful resolutions. duel with Skywalker and Luke’s get out of one of the most l part with our cash Lucas was never intending to The Empire Strikes Back is own helplessness as he himself is uncomfortable costumes in I using virtually every subvert plotlines or brazenly seen by many purists as the best rescued by Leia in the escaping movie history. He still does I possible cheap show off his latest effects of the prilogy; as the fine Millennium Falcon, as it swoops voice-overs and a bit of acting, ■ opportunity, trick or wizardry, but merely to storytelling framework becomes and veers across the pink Bespin having appeared in Prime embroider and seamlessly unwound and loosened we skies are a truly fantastic, Suspect and such movie classics I gimmick known to contribute greater depth to the become more aware of the breathtaking window into the as I Bought a Vampire man, it seemed to Star Wars world and benefit the Motorcycle, in which he played a make some sense to, most from the cinema rerelease. drunk priest. like, actually go The classic Rebel attack on the Death With such gentleness, and see the movies sophistication and sobriety KENNY BAKER (R2-D2) themselves. Star is given a fresh paint job and duly entwined within the Empire Perhaps one of Britain’s most For it is on the big story, it seems hard to believe famous midget actors (thanks screen that the films Wormed into a white knuckle ride that its successor Return o f the mainly to his role as Fidget in were conceived and it Jedi could revert to such overt Terry Gilliam’s Time Bandits), is here that these commercialisation, crass Baker, now 62, apparently tours cinematic titans once already considerable realism of effects of the Force and the true exploitation and sickening with a ‘one man show’. again do battle. With the the Star Wars universe. Hence, extent of the power of Vader and fluffiness. Yet, before damning Presumably he doesn’t mention illustrious rerelease of the Star the classic Rebel attack on the the Empire. This seemed to hold the last part of the trilogy, it that he wallpapered the inside of H Wars Trilogy, creator George Death Star is given a fresh paint true at the Leeds Odeon as would be worth bearing in mind Artoo’s head with pom to make I Lucas has finally allowed us to job and duly transformed into a anticipatory cheers and applause that its own Special Edition life as a utility droid a little more I view these films in the way that white knuckle ride to exhilarate met the opening credits, yet opens this evening to allow one - shall we say - amusing. I they were originally intended, and satisfy even the most battle despite its many favourable last unfettered view into Lucas’ f Happily, restoration work has hardened teenagers of the ’90s. aspects, it is still a somewhat world before he delivers his TARIK THE BEAR (voice Of been largely bullshit- free; a If the faults of Star Wars were unsatisfying cinema experience. magnum opus; the opening Chewbacca) tweak here, a tinker there for the enough to cause Lucas to attempt The principal themes are perhaps trilogy of the immense Star Wars After providing the roars and sake of continuity, but these films a significant reworking, then its over emphasised and a little too saga. These films have been a grunts for Peter Mayhew’s remain largely similar to their sequel, The Empire Strikes Back, drawn out- despite all Yoda’s constant companion to me character, Tarik retired to San original vision and a continuing remains largely unchanged. immense wisdom, the lengthy throughout most of my life, this Jose’s Happy Hollow Zoo and, testimony to the longevity of Operating as a darker, sombre, Dagobah sequences seem to new temptation promises the sadly, died three years ago, of Lucas’ wisdom and vision. more morose tale than its show us little more than Luke Force will be with us for a long, old age. He was a good bear, a With Star Wars, predecessor, its unsatisfactory managing to levitate rocks with long while to come. kind bear, who never mauled Lucas was keen to conclusion is more than made up his mind. small children or shat in the reinsert the Han Solo and for by the richness of its However the dramatic Return of the Jedi opens tonight woods. Jabba The Hutt confrontation storytelling tapestry, seamlessly denouement, as all characters at local cinemas. J 23 Are they all Sheep shaggers or is there more to Wales than fields? JUSTIN PENROSE attempts an interview with the brothers whose names he just can’t pronounce

W elsh films are not the national press as you just get asked these dick say about the people who live in the underbelly of exactly the most head questions. I can’t complain though, I mean society from a man who has croissant fights in fucking hell, it’s better than being down a mine Hampstead. All the characters are nihilistic, they’re all constantly there. Sheep-shaggers, miners, Tom Jooes, common commodity. isn’t it?” guilty, they’re all corrupted and they’re getting rugby, male voice choirs and Shirley Bassey. That is Indeed, for anything Indeed, it is perhaps easy to understand their nowhere. But I’m not saying this is Swansea or this is instead of The Manic Street Preachers, Super Furry ambivalence towards the media when from some the whole of society. It’s an aspect of society which Animals, Catatonia and two feature films this year, fl* to come out of that exists as part of a world within a world but it’s getting comers, Twin Town has been so harshly treated. stereotypes are there as bi-products of where we small backwater of a country and Alexander Walker claimed that if this is the future of more and more the case of the have’s and the have located the film. Those images of Welshness are all cause a stir is a tad rare to say the the British movie industry he’d rather see it die while not’s.” counterpoint to to what these two guys are about least. Yet, sitting in front of director The Sunday This seems to (points at the twins) and their deliberate attempt $ Times said ------■>. be the exercising those stupid images.” Kevin Allen and the brothers Ifans that it should fundamental Yet, whatever the images that are there at present (Evans), it’s easy to see the futility of come under point when it there seems to be a change in the air when it comes to the censor’s comes to films. youth culture in Wales at the moment To accompany Welsh stereotypes - especially if you’ve 'It's better They are just one seen their film, Twin Town. axe. A little the exciting Welsh music scene Twin Town pit«yk that draconian representation of talent onto the big screen. Indeed there appears to be a Allen sits quietly, looking tired as though perhaps, but one part of the growing confidence in this new era of Welshness Llyr travelling around the country with the ‘twins’ Rhys, who is world in which agrees: “In our generation there’s a confidence, but it’s has been a bit too much to handle. obviously we live in. a confidence that’s looking outwards from Wales, than being Unfortunately Meanwhile Rhys (Ifans) and Llyr (Evans) the whereas in the past Wales has been very inward spokesman for Allen and the looking, almost obsessed with pickling itself as a storm into the room and order a bottle of of the brother’s, culture.” wine. Allen looks as though he’d be happy to brothers, is criticisms of Furthermore it could be argued that Wales is never touch a drop again. The lads, needless quite down a mine their film is not undergoing, one might say, somewhat of a renaissance positive the only apparent at present “ I’d stamp on that straight away” pipes up to say, are still well up for it. Although, even ) annoyance sent for them all the attention can get a bit too about it all. V Rhys. “There’s no such thing as a renaissance. Once we “That V ------y to test them. The say there’s a renaissance that’ll be it We’ll be Brit much. article was great, constant reference popped out of existence. There’s certainly a confidence “It’s nice to have your face put about for a gold dust. If I’d read that article about a film I’d be to the similarities between this and an orange hued though, but it’s a cheeky one. We’re having a laugh you couple o f weeks but it can get a bit tedious” straight in the cinema. He hadn’t even seen the film so stormer of a British film has been a little grating. know, we’re not on some flag waving mission.” exclaims Rhys “Especially when you’re talking to that says it all. It’s not only sad but it’s also worrying “Welsh Trainspotting does my fucking head in” says Indeed, Twin Town may be set in Wales but that is that someone in a position of power like that can be an obviously irritated Rhys, “I think Trainspotting's a far from the most important factor for Allen. “We made so brazen with his criticism.” fantastic film and it’s nice to be associated with it but I it as a British film but we wanted it to sell all over the Rhys appears to feel strongly about the think it shows a narrow-mindedness on the critics world. I mean, the Japanese people ain’t interested in subject but Allen interrupts him just when he behalf that they can’t sit down and watch a film for Welsh issues. They are subconscious bi-products, seems to be in mid-flow. “The Sunday Times what it is, but have to tag it onto something else. I’m they’re just things that go in the authentic melting pot article was basically a piece of opportune sure if this film was set in London that tag wouldn’t Overall though the story is the most important thing, to scare mongering. You can’t take stuff like have been on it. Any London journo who sees anything deliver a universal story is the aim. Otherwise you’d that seriously. They didn’t even realise that from the provinces put them all in the same pile.” get bogged down with political issues. I’m not they were giving us more press by saying that Allen is more philosophical about it, perhaps interested in making films like that” journalistic junk.” realising that it was inevitable when the executive Indeed, this appears to be at the crux of the matter. producers were messers Boyle and MacDonald of Twin Town’s aim is not here to bring up issues forthe tabelievably the criticisms do not end Trainspotting fame. Yet he doesn’t blame them in the cinema going public of Britain, it’s here because it’s a T Tnthere. From some comers it has been least: “It’s not their fault, they never wanted that. I great story. It provides escapism which is all that any IV_ r/ suggested si that the film is a bad mean, it’s all down to marketing and that’s out of our audience can feasibly ask for from a film. As Rhys influence on the poor impressionable youth of hands. If they want to get bums on seats by calling it says: “It’s a damn good script. Pissing on a girl in a society. Yeah we’ve had that as well states Rhys the Welsh Trainspotting it’s up to them. It’s just a karaoke club is going to be funny wherever you doit" shrugging his shoulders. “Some government shame that Twin Town is now being judged in that Whether a film makes you laugh, cringe, or ciy, it on psychologist, God bless her soul, said the film light” only be judged on how it makes you feel. To asses it in encourages teenage delinquency. I know for a fact The fact that it is set in Wales certainly raises the any other way would do Twin Town no justice at al that what encourages teenage delinquency is Tory novelty value of the film. “It’s just a bit shocking as Party policies. It’s being bored and unemployed and nothing ever comes out of Wales” argues Allen, “If it fucked off on-a housing estate. The film shows what’s was set in Manchester it there anyway, it hasn’t invented delinquency.” wouldn’t have been Fair enough one would have to say but not all the ‘Have you seen this press are that mean and nasty are they? Allen puts the thing about Manchester, record straight when he argues: “The patterns of it’s outrageous!’ We’re reviews shows a generation of critique that is very just not used to it and it identifiable. The younger reviewers don’t have the comes as a bit of a moral code, the moral ambivalence. They see it as a shock.” story and a film, whereas the old gits can’t.” Setting the film in After all, it seems ludicrous to blame society * Wales also gave Allen changing for the worst on the film industry. the chance to discuss Indeed, the film is more of an indictment of some of the popular society itself, not the cause of society’s ills. The stereotypes that dog the characters are perhaps a perfect representation country’s, let’s face it, of that. not too great an image. It Allen agrees: “It’s a rotten cliche but they also gave him the are victims of their own society but that’s opportunity to show the the bottom line. Derek Malcolm said ‘If other side. “The this is youth culture perhaps an stereotypes are their appropriate nemesis would be an deliberately as it’s an earthquake.’ Mmm, nice thing to image of Wales that is 'Welsh Trainspotting does my fucking head in | N — j j g — ------R d c & w

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n yer face Brit flicks seem to becoming an marketing stakes, Allen’s film is gritty The plot unfolds as the boy’s DIY dad (Huw amusement, leaving the viewer unsure of whether integral part of the ever growing film enough and ugiv enoogh to be judged on its Ceredig) falls off a ladder whilst working for the they should be laughing at all. But isn’t that what own merits. local Mr Big, Bryn Cartwright (William Thomas), ' blade humour is supposed to do to you? That industry of this small island. But to himself embroiled in narcotic deals with Terry and dilemma is what makes this and other members of its Icompare the two contenders for the most The ever stretching web of mendacity and genre so watchable. The script, littered with F-words, corruptness centres the twins of the tide. Close his side-kick partner Greyo (Dorien Thomas). When kick ass prize for shock ‘n’ roll is perhaps he refuses to give (he twins compensation for their is the key to the film’s success, while the characters brothers they may b e, but strictly speaking twins futile. To get things straight from the start father's fall, the lads go in search of a more satisfying are all so loathsome that you just can’t help liking a they are not They might as well be though as they few of them. Although it might make a few enemies Twin Town is not the Welsh Trainspotting. share everything from baths to freshly stolen retribution than ready cash. Drugs, sex and some hilarious Mack humour, As the revenge sequence ensues the humour on the way, Twin Town is likely to be a hit with those automobiles. Indeed, it is in one of these merry jaunts that enjoy films that make you wince and laugh all at yes, but there endeth the similarities. And that the problems begin. Owing to their decided lack becomes darkly fimny, and while you may not be while having the locomotive voyeur’s duo of able to believe in the way they go about it, you can’t once. It’s brutal, it’s gritty and it will surprise even of due care and attention the dodgy duo hit the the most astute cinema goer. Go on, give it a try, you vehicle of the even dodgier cop Terry (Scott), sowing help being impressed by it all Danny Boyle and Andrew MacDonald as might even enjoy it the seeds .for future hassles. Not a film for the faint of heart, Twin Town does executive producers may have helped in the contain unpleasant moments mixed in with the Justin Penrose 25 14 y j IraQlo^ / lire ny ruin LSR is back: A progressive music policy is promised, and a schedule that hopes to ‘KISS' goodbye to the opposition. Is ‘student-friendly’ radio any good, or will we turn on, tune in, turn off?

ACK FOR programming behind; bringing The Orbit, Funky Mule, Magic, round your bedroom if you want GOOD? you everything from Drum and and LYL to host shows this to get a signal. Having said this, Bass, Indie, Jazz, Hip Hop, month. The station has struck it’s worth finding the right spot, Despite having a Electro, alternative and a lucky in another respect too; as LSR really has come a long lavish launch event sprinkling of Northern Soul. As whilst The Pleasure Rooms is way in the last four years. washed out by the first well as providing a good mix of closed, 107.8 FM is also the Having the confidence to raise music styles, the station's Hog only place to hear sets from the two fingers to the almighty KISS rain in ages, LSR leapt Roast comedy show is well DJs at Back To Basics and It’s FM is commendable (if a little worth a listen, as is The back onto the airwaves Obvious. over-enthusiastic) and even if Grapevine, an up-to-the-minute they do make the odd mistake on Monday for its reviews, previews, news and ROLL W ITH IT Indie from time to time, the DJs can seventh FM broadcast, views slot. and alternative music are count on the ropey reception to with a new look image, represented on the Brighton make sure no one notices. EVERY LOSER WINS This Beach show, as well as having and a schedule packed broadcast sees an almost home grown spots with the Louise Burgess with the cream of obscene amount of competitions excellent No Fiction, Session 5, student and clubland and giveaways. Prizes up for and Matt and Neil’s Bedroom grabs include tickets to DJs. amongst others. If you like a Amsterdam, a trip to Paris on decent bit of soul, the Move On The station is now , hordes of Cds and Up club show hits the spot, as vinyl, a crate of beer every day extending its reach do The Happening, Illustrious and a substantial number of beyond campus, targeting and Alva Park. If, however, jazz the entire Leeds area with bottles of wine. No one ever is more your cup of tea, it’s seems to enter these worth listening to The Sunday impressive sounding line­ competitions, so it may be worth up; part of the station’s Joint, The Cooker and a ringing up if you fancy a free cracking live set from the bid to finally be awarded a night out. , legendary Yardbird Suite. full time license. BLOCK ROCKIN’ BEATS 24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH In trying to shake off their There is, in fact, only one major This time around, LSR aims to “poncey-media-crazed-students- problem with LSR - you have to leave the mainstream and ‘safe’ dabbling-in-radio” image, LSR fiddle for hours with the aerial, has recruited local clubs Dope, and shift your stereo halfway nLiners

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ratawEsicgm FILMS ON THE BOX SHOWING THIS WEEK

Addams Family Values ituiHay, 8.10 Four Weddings and n Funeral t’s getting out of control. Rs of modem moviedom: ’60s series has become even speech. And, yes, it’s oh so blockbuster. Fuck the ethics CM , Monday, 9pm I Val Kilmer is currently Recycle, Regurgitate and reep more enjoyably warped and funny when Hugh Grant says of spending 100 million disgracing our multiplexes the profits. fiendish in its “fuck” lots. dollars on a movie; this isn’t as The Saint Gary Oldman is Still, it’s not all been as Holywoodization. God. The problem with Waterworld- you can actually to star in Hollywood’s take on bad as Mission:Impossible Above all else, the casting this film is that its just see what it was spent on the M n a t n r 2: Judgement Day Lost in Space and it is and The Beverly Hillbillies. is spot on - Angelica Huston’s so...so.... so bloody nice. I small screen six years later, rumoured that we can expect The Hollywood formula does Morticia is a truly exquisite just cant hate it. I try-1 really and it still can’t fail to blow BBC1, Friday, to see a live action Scooby not always transform its test- corpse Raul Julia mutates' do, but I can’t . Even the you away. Doo film on the big screen in subjects into glossy, hollow Gomez from being little more unspeakable horror of Andie Of course, if you do need • the not -too-distant future mannequins. Take Barry than a spooky spive into a McDowell’s huge, twisted, proof that crazy amounts of (rikes raggy!). The trend for Sonnefield’s Addams Family darkly Flamboyant anti - toothy maw guming all over money can be used in good big movie remakes of little Values (BBC1, Saturday, Errol Flyn, and Christina the place doesn’t totally film making , then check out Hawk the Slayer TV hits has taken hold and its 8.10pm), the (slightly Ricci is illegally perfect as dissipate the all pervasive Hawk the Slayer (BBC1, tightening grip seems to be ' . inferior) follow-up to The the sociopathic schoolgirl, pleasantness. One question, Monday 12:30pm). Starring m, 12:30pm throttling the creativity out of Addams Family. As both Wednesday. though: Why does Hugh John Terry (who?) and Jack cinema. Its all down to three movies prove, the original As with the first film, the Grant turn down Kristina Palance (why?) .this is a plot serves little other Scott Thomas - the chick classic example of those purpose than to showcase a from fox heaven- for tooth sword and sorcery B-movies series of delightfully sick demon MacDowell? What’s you could always find in a gags, with the Addams wrong with the man? dodgy video rental van some children trying to devise a where near the end of you’re way of murdering their t’s far more easy to accept, drive during the early ’80s . moustachioed baby brother. I say, the promise of James In a land where silly string EVERY NIGHT FRI - THU In reaction to this homicidal Cameron’s action- effects passes as magic and ex-Carry sibling rivalry, Mom and Dad spectacular Terminator 2: On members wanders the hire a nanny who, sure Judgement Day (BBC1, damp English countryside enough, turns out to be a Friday 10pm). You know, boy wielding Polystyrene war The Funeral7pm The Addiction 9pm„ grade A wacko serial killer. and killer cyborg and boy’s hammers, the heroic Hawk This is unhealthy stuff for gun-freak mother prevent the (Terry) takes on the forces of Jim Jarmusch's cult road movie unhealthy minds - perfect apocalypse. And this type of evil (Palance) in a slightly Saturday night entertainment. thing involves much less tiring struggle for mastery of If pet disembodied hands niceness - even if the killer a legendary flying sword. Fri D o w n B y L a w n:ispm and jokes about scabs aren’t cyborg does deliver such Perhaps their should be a Special Preview really your thing, there’s cringe-worthy lines as: “What Hollywood adaptation of this always the more wholesome is wrong with you’re eyes?” sort of film. Throw a lot of MANDELA comedy of Four Weddings when boy is crying (killer money at it, or it could be Son off Africa, Father of a Nation and a Funeral (, cyborgs have feelings too, transformed into a mega­ SJkT - 3 pm Monday 9pm), although apparently). successful effects-laden epic, you’ve probably already seen Big guns, syringes full of starring, say, Val Kilmer. Oh i t . Around six times, and I industrial cleaner, helicopter hang on George Lucas Things^Do in Denver Corto*c A I i o e bet you went out and bought a chases and computer­ already tried that, and we when you're Dead OuQlulb Of L lu b copy of W H Auden’s love generated effects can never ended up with disastrous poems because you were so really go amiss in a huge, Willow. No wonder they stuck SAT - 1 1: 15pm SUM - 3 pm touched by that funeral criminally expensive to crappy TV remakes. 27 april 25 Flavour of the Day Brighton Rock, C4,12.15am Richard Attenborough stars in this film send shivers down your spine. If you’ve read adaptation of the Graham Greene novel the book then you’ll be interested to see how which is still regarded a classic by those who the film manages to handle the deep mystery know these things. The film tells the story of contained in the characters, despite the fact Pinkie, a boy who wasn’t just bad - he that this is no conventional mystery story. Hyde Park Picture House (tel. Showcase (tel. 01924 420622) worshiped in the temple of evil. Crime, in No Miss Marple or Jessica Fletcher to work 2752045) Return of the Jedi, Eddie, Twin Town, The Funeral; 7.00 The Saint, Biassed Off, Empire Strikes his dark mind, was a release so deep and out who-dunnit here, I’m afraid. The Addiction; 9,00 Back, Metro, Star Wars, Dante’s Peak, satisfying that he had no need for drink, or If this all sounds a little intense, then check Down By Law; 11.15 People V’s Larry Hint, Fever Pitch, women, or love. He is an astoundingly Romeo and Juliet, Space Jam, Jerry This kid is EVIL, so watch out out Terminator 2: Judgement Day, ABC (teL 2452665) Maguire, English Patient sinister character, and this film is bound to (BBC1,10pm) for a few light laughs. Return of the Jedi; 1.30,5,15.8.10 The Saint; 12.45,3 15,5.45,8.15 Odeon (tel. 2436230) The Empire Strikes Bade; 12.55,5.45 Return of the Jedi; 11.20,2.10,5.00, Twin Town; 3.30,8.30 8.05 The Empire Strikes Back: 11.40,2.25, BBC 2 ITV Channel 4 Lounge (teL 2751061) 5.15 Romeo and Juliet (phone for times) Romeo and Juliet; 12.10,2.45,5.20, 8.15 Cottage Road (tel. 2751606) Star Wars; 1.40 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See Hear 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Chain Letters; 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Big Return of the iedi (phone for times) Metro; 8.20 BBC Breakfast News; 9.05 Breakfast News; 7.30 Teenage Mutant Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.30 FILM Hero Turtles; 7.55 50/50; 8.20 The 9.55 Calendar News And Election Call; 10.00 Style The Ghost Of St Michael’s (1942); Garden Fairies; 8,25 Tales Of The Weather; 10.00 The Time... The Challenge; 10.30 Can’t Cook, 11.00 Survivors Of The Rainforest; Tooth Fairies; 8.35 The Racoons; 9.00 Place; 10.30 This Morning; 12.20 Won’t Cook; 11.00 News; 11.05 12.00 The Lost Gardens Of Heligan; French Experience; 9.15 French Calendar News; 12.30 ITN The Really Useful Show; 11.35 12.30 Light Lunch; 1.30 Australia Wild; Collection; 9.45 Watch; 10.00 News; 12.55 Home And Away; Snooker; 12.35 Good Living; 1.00 Teletubbies; 10.30 Watch Out; 10.45 2.00 Channel 4 Racing from Sandown 1.25 ; 1.55 A Country One O ’Clock News; 1.30 Pathways Of Belief; 11.00 Look And Park; 4.00 Fifteen To One; 4.30 Club Mex UUt} Harvey Milk Bar Practice; 2.25 High Road; 2.55 Regional News; 1.45 Neighbours; Read; 11.20 Belief File; 11.40 Countdown; 5.00 Ricki Lake; 5.30 Pet io .p .e ., slantin' drum & base tonight Spice, tequila night playing mainstream Mathsphere Special; 12.00 English Shortland Street; 3.20 ITN News Rescue; 6.00 TFI Friday; witn Andy C, plus residents Marcus, motown, 70s disco plus the best of 2.10 World Championship Ricky Blaze and MCs Ash and Verse, contemporary pop. File; 12.30 Working Lunch; 1.00 Job Headlines; 3.25 Calendar News 7.00 Channel 4 News Snooker; 3.30 Mouse And Mole; plus Audio Traffic, Our Man Flint and Free before II pm. Bank; 1.10 Job Bank; 1.20 Developing And Weather; 3.30 Rosie And 7.50 Power And The People Rob Puisey in the funk department. 3.35 Noddy; 3.55 Bodger And World; 1.45 Words And Pictures; 2.00 10pm-3am,£6/£7 Nato Jim; 3.40 Warner Brothers 8.00 Garden Party Badger; 4.00 Ace Ventura: Pet Adventures Of The Garden Fairies; 8.30 Casino, playing garage, funky house Cartoon; 3.55 Zzzap; 4.15 Brookside. The Cockpit and disco. Detective 2.05 Tooth Fairies; 2.10 Alias Smith 9.00 Caroline In The City. Brighton Beach,, U«*60s Modernism meets 10pm-3am, £7 members, £9 guests. 4.25 Clarissa Explains It All And Jones; 3.00 News; 3.05 Phil Where’s Wally?; 4.40 Crazy 9.30 Spin City the best of the 90s with live band Silvers; 3.30 Snooker; 5.15 Racing Hurricane No. 1. Watch out for their Planet Earth 4.50 Newsround Cottage; 5.10 Home And Away; 10.00 Frasier From Ascot; 6.45 Snooker radio show on hr. Plus scratchy garage Pop Goes The Planet, two rooms of 5.40 ITN News; 5.55 Calendar 10.30 Phil Kay Feels... and sweet soul in the little room. 5.10 Blue Peter 8.00 A Golfer's Travels With Peter pop and dance. 9pm-2am £2 with flyer 11.05 1 lpm-4am, £5 before 11.15pm, £3.50 after 5.35 Neighbours Alliss News And Weather; 6.30 Party Election Broadcast: 6.00 Six O’Clock News: 8.30 Gardeners' World. Alan Tonight; 6.55 Party Election Conservative The Dry Dock Town and Country Club TFI Friday Uplifting house with DJ John Lee. Weather Titchmarsh has advice for Broadcast By The Conservative 11.10 Love Train, Legendary 70s disco, with 12.10 Party Election Broadcast Pius, this place accepts Switch with Brutus Gold. 10pm-2..1()am. £6 6.30 Regional News growing fruit in a small garden, Party Cash-back as well, so there’s no excuse plus tips on how to deal with 7.00 Lucky Numbers 12.15 FILM: Brighton Rock (1947). not to get pissed. The Underground Magazines See today’s Fla vo u r o f the Day. The Cooker, Funky beatz & breaks. the delicate problem of cats in 7.30 . Will 6.55 Party Election Broadcast flowerbeds. 2.00 FILM: Dead End (1937). The Hyde Park Club, Ash Grove. 10pm-2am, £5, tel. 2302113 for more W herelt’sAt, nice and cheap place to info. 7.00 Watchdog. 9.00 Have I Got News For You. Terry fall into Jack’s trap? 3.40 FILM: The Crimes Of o before you hit the town. Anne Robinson and the 9.30 Sunnyside Farm. Sitcom Kevin’s new boss is intent Stephen Hawke (1936). t - 11pm, £1 membership The Warehouse about two brothers scraping a on improving relations in 4.55 FILM: Paradise Canyon Up Yer Ronson, with Jeremy Healv and team find the worst venues Le Phonographique guests, 9.30pm-3am, £8 / £10 in Britain and fly to rescue living on Sunnyside Farm, the workplace. (1935). The Beaumul Ones, indie night, where life is bleak until the 8.00 The Bill. playing alTyou’re favoured tunes. Free a family from holiday hell. arrival of beautiful new bottle of Pils before 11pm. 7.30 Top Of The Pops. This neighbour Wendy. 8.30 Reduce Speed Now. 10pm-2am.£3/£4 week's best-selling singles, 10.00 Rab C Nesbitt. With Gregor 9.00 The Grand. Period drama Channel 5 LMUSU live performances and pre­ Fisher. Mary's anglophile series about a luxury hotel. Stomp, Indie, & grunge-fest, plus cousin Shug returns to Govan retro sounds in the room they call Cafe chart exclusives. 10.00 News At Ten: Weekend Pop. £3/£3.50 8.00 Porridge. Fletcher is determined to improve the Weather 6.00 News eating habits of the locals. 7.30 Havakazoo incensed when a third 10.30 Party Election Broadcast By 10.35 Calendar News: Weather cellmate arrives, and to 10.40 FILM: Burglar (1987). 8.00 Adventures on Bush Control The Conservative Party 8.30 Wideworld add insult to injury, he turns 10.35 Newsnight 12.35 Bonkers! 9.00 Espresso out to be one of his old 11.30 Party Election Broadcast 1.35 Club Nation 10.0 Exclusive enemies. 11.35 Championship Snooker 2.35 Cyber.Cafe T in Cockpit 12.15 This Life. 10.30 Nancy Lam The Men on the Moon 8.30 A Question Of Sport Hurricane No. 1; Andy Bell (ex of 1.05 FILM: Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde 3.05 Dating The Enemy 11.0 Leeza 9.00 Nine O’Clock News: 4.05 Stand And Deliver Ride) With his ace new band, in support Joseph’s Well (1932). 11.50 Double Espresso of new single Step Into My World. Astralux + Floozy + Bra Regional News: Weather 2.40 Close 5.00 ITV Sport Classics 12.0 The Bold and the Beautiful Doors from 11pm, £5. 9.50 Party Election Broadcast 5.30 ITN Morning News 12.30 Family Affairs Packhorse By The Conservative 1.00 News Duchess The Valve Party Bis; the backlash against the backlash I.05 Sunset Beach starts tonight! 10.00 FILM: Terminator 2: ISR 107.8 FM 2.00 5’s Company Feast & Firkin Judgement Day (1991). 3.30 FILM: Irreconcilable Amie returns to the screen 8am The Bode Awakening 6.20pm irsObvtoos the anMrt warns Differences as the near-invincible tBam The tatlOSeCttOO salsa, samba, you ip for the weekend. WthDfs Crash & 5.25 P.E.B. cyborg from a nightmare soca&bocgaloowih guest Dfs Bun 5.30 100 % future Earth, but is he still 8pm Casino soUdsco and fu* 6.00 Whittle; with Tim Vine! bent on bringing byCateJinctjon 6.30 Family Affairs West Yorkshire Playhouse £3.50 9pm BenUe rs Friday Hardstan Back 7.00 Exclusive 1 .The Wasp Factory; ground-breaking Late Night Cabaret from 10pm. For destruction to humanity? tBm PhttSmith he's doing his own thing toBasiscs' <&un & bass resident sals I out multi-media production of the cult more information, call 01484 430528 Starring Arnold 7.30 Wildlife SOS classic novel by Iain Banks IpmMtte ClUfll hphop& breakbeats ffPB ThOCtBiu ice & techno wih Leeds' 8.00 Attractions Schwarzenegger and Linda ounMegxbg 2. As You Like It Alhambra 6pm ClOB SOdOdarve muse magazine 8.30 News Hamilton. A Chorus Line; Broadway musical featuring dub previews and tut Isings 2am Ban muersoaha^ houses, 9.00 FILM: Separated by Murder Huddersfield Lawrence Batley with Adam Faith 12.20 FILM: Young Billy Young dun & bass 10.50 Exclusive Extra Incredible Moving Parts Festival 1997; festival of puppetiy and animation. (1969). 4amBeccaaSarafisouiazz 11.00 The Jack Docherty Show 1.45 Weather Tonight Faulty Optic present Shot At II.40 Club Class The Troff at 8pm. Tickets £5.50 / 1.50 Close 12.10 News; Sport

ARIES: Pining will do you no Capricorn: Put your Pisces: It is time to IO : What goes good. Your feelings may be stronger money back in your pocket You settle yourself. Too much aroundcomes around and (A 5 - than you are willing to admit, but c,an’t possibly afford to make "li moving around will have don’t you forget it. Nasty (ft don’t be pressurised into saying those dreams come true at the unbalanced all your natural deeds will come back to 3 moment Concentrate on the o anything for the sake of it. A harmonies. It may be that haunt you. Come out in the ST 3 nagging feeling of loss will here and now, for you cannot r » CD possible predict what future will you need to secure a firm open and you will earn far a* disappear around the 30th. hold. Leave that to the experts. basis for the future, be it a more respect. literal word to heart. You will become an Tauius: wut. will ensure a hectic (ft 5*i Venus moving into | lifestyle, but may leave you a> o ' obsessive lunatic. Work becomes a priority, Q . 3 but don’t forget to keep in touch with those your sign, love I utterly exhausted. Take care (ft j to look after yourself O near and dear to your heart. Neglect is a opportunities seem to be on hand. However * properly. o 3 3 TA R S IG N S horrid thing. Blissful highlights on nothing will fall into 3 Managing life, Wednesday night. O Scorpio: Libra: your lap. Get out there and be seen. Dress to O C Feeling lonely, pressurise, alone is good for the spirit impress and grab life by the bollocks. It will lead «* to much good. ■«k stressed. Don’t despair, planetary this week. Old company . Frolicking around is all very well, CO (A may bore you and fresh Gemini aspects will shift, and you will hot now is the time for work You have missed out K) at faces will only abound later soon be back to your normal self. on too much and may start to tag behind unless you LE O : It finally seems as if your ■u 0) Lucky opportunities which have in the month. Build up on put in extra effort.; llry refraining froin afctmty with .: CO

LEEDS METROPOLITAN UNIVERSITY STUDENTS UNION ^ -^ g S p V pinflager/bitter/cide r ^ __ 9pm - 2am £ 2.50 N .U .S / E 4.50 Guests £1.85 treble vodka/& draught mixer HAPPY FIRST HOUR 2 rooms of music • Main Hall • Pop & Danced Back Room • Indie & Retro t M I ajjMK BITTER, LAGER, CIDER 95p A PINT Admission only £1.50 B4 10.30pm, £2.50 after QUEUE EARLY!!! Avoid the queue!! Priority Tickets £2 from City Site & Becketts Park m a y 1 Flavour of the Day guide Party Politics @ The Warehouse juice After one of the longest election the Legalize Everything Party, and Delta campaigns in British history finally comes Nine for the Out There Party. There will to an end, The Warehouse celebrate with a also be a Swingometer, and Cash for suitably topical club night special. In The Questions Projections. By the time you Lower House (The Commons) will be stagger home there will be a new LUU Film Society Showcase (tel. 01924 420622) techno acid house for the lost generation, government in power (perhaps), and you The Sheltering Sky. Starts 7pm Return of the Jedi, Eddie, Twin Town, with James Holroyd DJing on behalf of can start partying all over again. The Saint, Brassed Off, Empire Strikes Hyde Park Picture House (tel. Back, Metro, Star Wars, Dante’s Peak, the Raving Loony Party. In The Upper If you feel that the results are to important 2752045) People V’s Larry Flint, Fever Pitch, House (The Lords) will be playing drum to miss, then let Jeremy Paxman steer you The Funeral; 7.00 Romeo and Juliet, Space Jam, Jerry Paxman the anchorman and bass and break-beat with Simon Mu, through the unfolding excitement (BBC1, The Addiction; 9.00 Maguire, English Patient for the Legalize It party, Templehead for from 9.55pm). ABC

34 f j

A weekly runaround It’s the satellite channel for people who don’t have satellite, a station named after the of last week’s TV number of people who actually watch it. JENNY WOOD picks up the signals comings and goings | hannel 5 Britain in harder than shutting decent stuff on if you search 66 will be a Chris Evans up for good. The for it. Old favourites such as oap opera Channel 5 query line is no Twin Peaks (see our review S c ’Modern help either- a patronising below) are worth catching if weddings. Don’t Mainstream channel ‘trendy’ voice you missed out first time you just love ’em? for viewers who unsympathetically states that around, as are some of the It’s been quite a while bad reception must be the fault films lined up - the list so far enjoy programmes of your aerial, and you are includes Speed, Chaplin, now since Kylie and Jason that surprise and responsible for getting it fixed. Monty Python and The Holy captured the hearts of My advice? Don’t bother. The Grail and Stand By Me. New grannies all over the stimulate through fact is, that at present, the programmes worth having a country, and once again it their quality and Channel 5 transmission plan peek at include Tumstyle; a was ‘aaahhs’ all round as content. has been devised to achieve before-and-after sports show It will not be bound to 74% population coverage, so with new presenter Gail Eastenders (BBC1) saw some people won’t be able to McKenna, and Xena: Warrior Ricky and Bianca take the traditions of tune in at all. Princess, an action adventure their marriage vows last yesterday, but will look The media whizzkids series that’s so cheesy it defies week. at life for today and behind the new channel hope belief. tomorrow, bringing that people will begin to tune The usual ‘get me to the in to Channel S regardless of n the flip side, the list church on time’ chaos quality entertainment what programme is on, simply O of disastrous and accompanied this blessed with contemporary because it is Channel 5. The downright dodgy union of souls, and the plot values”. Or so the huge marketing barrage has programmes on Channel 5 is progressed in true soap opera prelaunch publicity adopted the technique of longer than the list of blokes style. Predictable perhaps, but ‘branding’ in an attempt to who want to shag Pamela would have had us brainwash the British public Anderson. The supposedly this was nevertheless well believe. written feel-good TV. into mindlessly watching revolutionary news bulletins Now that Channel 5 has television just for the sake of (with ‘Key Anchor’ Kirsty The night before the morning leapt (or should that be after was an illuminating insight it. Channel 5 will be the first Young, who runs around ‘limped’?) onto our screens, terrestrial channel to have its looking like a drugged-up into the art of the ‘big night out’. the viewing public has the Piling down the motorway in a logo permanently placed in the rabbit) have adopted The chance to judge the marketing comer of the screen. It is Word’s studio, and borrowed dodgy transit van were a motley campaign of the decade for worth mentioning however, their format, sans irony, from collection of Albert Square’s themselves. To be brutally finest specimens of manhood... that several thousand The Day Today. There is a honest, the verdict so far isn’t flood of all-american sitcoms, and Roy. Even the market- complaints have been logged all good. about the logo during the first and even Family Affairs , the inspector was temporarily one of The problems with Channel week of transmission alone. token British soap created for the boys. 5 start before you even begin At least its making an Channel 5 is a poor effort - to watch any of the “massive impression... imagine Hollyoaks with older, have its teething problems. seem to have been right. choice and diversity” of So what are you getting for even less attractive characters. With an annual budget only Number five may be alive, but programmes on offer. I’m that extra column in your TV Sports coverage is also weak one eighth the size of the the only just; the current message talking about getting a decent listings guide? despite the hype, with BBC’s £800 million, and a for viewers of ‘modem picture in the first place. Here Despite protestations by one basketball taking up a huge nightmare transmission mainstream’ television being in Leeds we’re fortunate that journalist that Channel 5 will chunk of Sunday nighttime problem, the critics have been “switch off your TV set and go reception, on the whole, is provide programmes for “the viewing. relishing tearing it to pieces do something less boring pretty decent, but trying to get under-forties, both in years To be fair though, any new for the last twelve months. Its instead.” a picture in many places in and IQ”, there is some half venture of this size is bound to just a shame that so far they

The target venue; one of Phil and Grant’s old stamping grounds, and a veritable dicer’s paradise. Armwrestling, copious amounts of alcohol, and the prerequisite strip club were to be the night’s entertainment...these Welcome back to the weird and wonderful world of Twin Peaks, tigers were most definitely on the prowl. David Lynch’s disturbing portrait of small-town America. DIANE The girls settled for a hen CHANNEL 5 party in the Queen Vic; big and LEEMING watches the mystery unravel for a second time brassy were the keywords here. SUNDAY 10pm Pat proceeded to ‘large U ntil last legitimate question and, Peaks you must never judge a it’ on the dancefloor, literally, weekend, I although I’ve seen the book by its cover, however while unfortunate friends had to attractive that cover may be! concentrate kids, or you’ll get was only entire series before, I’m The second great thing dodge the dangerous trajectory of buggered if I can left behind. her pendulous earrings. watching about Twin Peaks is that you So now our Sunday nights The conclusion; while Bianca Channel 5 remember the answer. don’t turn into a stick of are sorted out, and pubs across retired early to get her beauty For me, there are three broccoli whist watching it. The the land will empty half an sleep, Ricky was destined to because the great things about Twin Peaks, only thing we. know for certain hour early as we all rush home awake with mild amnesia in the rubbish on there two of which probably haven’t is that Laura Palmer is dead. If to grab the best seat on the middle of a country field, still had novelty escaped the attention of the you’ve seen the series before, sofa. Well, if you don’t, I will, muttering darkly about the best appealingly unconventional you will also know that this is because the third great thing laid plans of mice and men. value. But now Agent Dale Cooper. probably the most normal about Twin Peaks is that, every But all’s well that ends well, Twin Peaks has Firstly, not only is the thing that happens. From here time Agent Cooper talks into and, well, this ended well. Hard made its long- cherry pie “damn fine” in the on, it just gets weirder, with his dictaphone, I imagine he’s the heart that wouldn’t smile at kooky little town, but there is bizarre creations like the log talking to me: “Diane, there is such youthful exuberance. From awaited return to also an abundance of “damn lady and a dwarf who talks this great little diner I’ve found soap opera to Shakespearean terrestrial fine” totty to be found. If you backwards playing their part in which serves damn fine drama on a Sunday afternoon; for television. want your lust objects to be the increasingly surreal coffee...” Well then, I’ll have one balmy hour Eastenders had it more interesting than the blow­ proceedings. Once the plot two sugars please Agent all. “Who killed Laura up kind, then you’ve come to gets going, it is harder to get Cooper, and I’ll see you on Matt James Palmer?” is once again a the right place. A word of hold of than an oiled snake on Sunday! warning though - in Twin a very wet day in Leeds; so 35 Want a weekend down London to go Travel to London on these Travelling in comfort, in reserved seats, clubbing, or taking your mates back home | M idland M ainline trains only enjoying free tea and coffee, you can really to see the folks (shock, horror)? Depart Leeds: make the most of your trip to London. Then 's got just the At only £29 total for 2 to 4 people to ticket...4-Sight. Mon-Fri . . . .0635 & 0725 Saturday . . .0635, 0754, 0836 & 1836 London and back, this must be the best One ticket will take 2, 3* or 4 of you from invitation to party you've ever had. Sunday . . . .1037, 1219, 1524 & 1840 Leeds to London St Pancras, and back, for Book your 4-Sight ticket at Leeds station one total price of just £29. Arrive London St Pancras: or any Rail Appointed Travel Agent at least Unbelievable? Fact! This amazing offer is Mon-Fri . . ;. .1028 & 1048 3 days before you travel. available on selected trains in standard Saturday . . .1003, 1113, 1225 & 2210 Alternatively, call 0345 125 678 at accommodation - just check the chart in Sunday . . .1450, 1625, 1858 & 2220 least 5 days in advance for credit/debit card this ad, then make your move. ------bookings.

^Lr^ETHER GREAT MIDLAND MAINLINE LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 13

1. Are you actuary bothered who wwis the election?

7 6 % | l b

are going to political voice was still a loud one. As any I 2. Can you name a tie w Labour* poSctf? re going to vote Tory backbencher might say, how did we get tell it. And even in the most yellow and bendy going to vote that from one state of affairs to the other? of banana republics, four-year-olds are seen t brothel full of as a touch too inexperienced for the weighty I nifck. m ifSfo ther. Over to the 4 4 T T TILSON? Don’t know... Sorry, matter of electing a government, tdn-pot or , yes you sir, \/V/ it’s all a bit misty, pre-Mrs T.” not. Five years on from the last General 3 . Who is Deputy Loader of the Labour party? /hy are you going T T It was not, all things Election, this all means that not only has I ty? considered, an unreasonable question. Yet Britain’s undergraduate population never heir policies by any ‘Who was the last Labour Prime Minister?’ voted a political party into power, but that 148%fc f llt h i W ^52% le lesser of three was an inquiry that proved to be most popular effectively it has never witnessed a different loever in the ability in the embarrassed silence stakes. Not that party taking over in government. Still 4. MtwfctteStewtoyqfShtefcrfit o f t B ? govern the country suggesting it was Harold Wilson, the longest surprised by the apathy? Back to another | serving Labour Prime Minister since the War interviewee in the Edward Boyle. Will you be ion of support then? was an unreasonable answer either, (Wilson voting? 32% i|5%] y belief to knock proved to be the most common answer, at 28 “No, there are no good choices.” i priced dictaphone per cent) but it proved that James Callaghan’s Don’t know, don’t care indeed. 5. Who was the last Labour Prime Mnster? iv about you, sir? three-year residency in Downing Street as get in, but I don’t Wilson’s successor (April 1976-May 1979) 4 4 " \ TO TIN G ? Probably not. Because any of the parties largely passed the current \/ voting without information is as V much a waste of time as not voting at all.” Pessimistic? I’ve heard more positive views. Cynical? On a par with anything a 'Can I name a New student newspaper of the particularly over-sarcastic variety could come up with. Most realistic viewpoint we policy?... I couldn't i heard all day? Right up there in the Gritty School of Real Life Prospectus one policy foil stop.' with your bank manager’s reply to your 6. Can you name nrafr/nfcyiftwffVparfrandpasftfan? last request for an overdraft extension. Yet e reduced come May 1st, a large percentage of this i free entry to country’s electorate will vote on the flimsiest # >iTfftF'iiiinn Ttiriinfwy J Oh yeah, and students of Leeds by. OK, that isn’t perhaps of pretexts, and student voters will be just as rs,” he would gain the most earth-shattering of revelations guilty of this. The truth is out there. It’s just nd votes in every considering that the current incumbents of that nobody knows where to find it. I in you could say Leeds’ campuses were mere toddlers when Not that every student in Leeds or ht in that landslide, Thatcher came to power, but the fact that otherwise doesn’t have a clue about the 7 . Can you name tome members of the Cabinet? :ned to the days of most of us were regularly losing control of political scene. Oh no. I confidently predict mpaigning and our bodily functions on a voluntary basis that if elected, Mr Blair will appoint Paddy [ 6 4 % | ster? Not that rather than post pub-crawl the last time there Ashdown as Chancellor, Michael Heseltine as jpinionated old was a Labour Prime Minister may well Health Secretary, and give Geri Spice Girl the I ible correspondent proffer a reason for the current student apathy keys to the Home Office. Or was that the 8 . DoyouthinkOte standard ofskidontM ngwiK improkm :emed with putting and ignorance concerning politics in this other way round? Hang on. Now where did I put my ‘Absolute Idiots Guide To Politics.’ I o liquid use, and country. 1 If Labour ate elected? te change. Better You see, even the most over-experienced swore I wasn’t going to make any really ■ we’lPstay here and overdrawn fourth year was only four embarrassing factual errors. It was here last ase the years old when Labour lost power. Four is a time I looked... Give me five minutes... I *3%fc Ob < I Donlknow 416% down. Yeah, difficult age in the political world, - too old for baby lassing antics and too young for a ;o, the student half-truth to be worth half the effort it takes to | l

Jo BbM

37 14 LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997

^ Write in to Leeds Student Personals, PO Box 157, Leeds University Union, Leeds, LS1 1UH. Alternatively, hand your message don't get mod, get personal to the porters at LUU

...tell that bloke from OTT that you just you and me for a whole weekend fancy his pants... tell your flatmate you’ll see. Love ya, see you at 5pm. that his feet stink...t ell that Noel Ilona. NIGHTLINE Gallagher lookalike that he’s sad... To the LSR collective. Get some tell the whole world what you think sleep folks. Get a life and go home, UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE of your best friend... ask for a love Amy.xxxx date... arrange a rendez-vous... Susie, Happy 21st birthday! Put away The qualifying round is ready NIGHTLINE LISTENING have a love affair in print... ask for those glitery boobs, you gothic 243 9997 things you want or need... tell wannabe big-haired cheesy rocker! for blast off. To take part, just anyone anything, but do it here and The homy men can’t take it. Steer do it now. Personals are FREE so clear of blue pants, beige trousers and go along to the Exec office at NIGHTLINE INFO LINE use & abuse them. Ring 231 4251 action man genitals. Love and trumps 243 9998 anytime day or night & leave a Laura and Jenny. LUU and ask Gary Bouch for message on the answerphone or 4 bottles of Pils and 2 double hand your message into the porters vodkas for £5.00. Mon-Thursday at an entry form. The deadline is 8PM - 8AM at LUU. Get writing...get a life...get Strawbs Bar. (Doubles £1.10 every lucky...get revenge...get evening) the end of next week. EVERY NIGHT OF passionate...get personal. Sincere heartfelt thanks to the To the lady who threw the flowers on anonymouse mailer who sent my TERM stage during the satanic death wallet to my Kent home. You know J generator gig - ‘And I’m waiting’. who you are. Thank you. From The Last Magicians. 3 bottles of alcoholic lemonade and Spike, thanks Dortmund for being 2 double vodkas for £5. Monday to IS YOUR SOCIETY twinned with Leeds and also Thursday at Strawberryfields Bar. beating Man United. Good Luck in (Doubles £1.10 every evening) ADVERTISED HERE? the final. Lifted. Uplifting House and Gospel Qureshi. The man who picks his Garage featuring Russell Smith and WELL IT SHOULD BE. moments with the same skill that R2- DJ Cloud. Mon 28th April 10-2am @ Siroco - live and sexy at The VCALL HELEN ON 231 4251J D2 picks fruit. HQ Bar, NATO. £2.50 door, £2 adv. Dutchess. Tuesday 29th April. computers go a lot Feller. Remember that if the world (226 2916) A big hand for the depleted crew this faster. Can did come to an end, there would Set 3 course meal - special price week. Another stunning performance. anyone out A still be the rest of the universe. £6.50 at Strawberryfields bistro. Good splash News and out by 3am! there help? Paul, just to let you know that I love Jen, Hope you have a hip and groovy All we need now is some upgraded You could be writing for you so and on Friday we go, away for birthday. Good to have you back system software - that would make a while, so cheer up and smile as its home. this paper next week... To advertise in this space call r FOR ALL YOUR To get involved in Leeds 231 4251 BIG BALL NEEDS Student, simply call THE FINAL CURTAIN STUDENTS! - DISCOUNT RATES: 243 4727 or drop in at our Ball gowns from £15 office in LMUSU Tuxedos from £20 CVS, DISSERTATIONS, open Monday - Saturday WORD PROCESSING etc

12-6pm Work Carried out By Appointment to meet 17 Headingley Lane, Hyde Park Corner your deadlines 2x Pro 150 Stanton carts, mixer, headphones, all leads Contact Toni on (0113) 230 4156 (24 hour answerphone available) supplied. D R E S S F O R L E S S % AT (HEADINGLEY- based.) THE SALVATION ARMY Package: £320 (as new) CHARITY SHOP 175 MEANWOOD ROAD, LEEDS 7. ALSO FURNITURE, BOOKS, BRIC-A-BRAC Phone John on 2345 400 RECORDS, TAPES. V OPEN MON, TUES, THURS, SAT J 9.30AM - 4.00PM FRI - 9.30AM - 12.30PM Do you drink LOTS OF V ______CLOSED W EDS______J 'DIET' DRINKS?

Volunteers are needed to The French Society Presents ^ ) a body piercing studio with a different attitude complete a few short Desire ) piercings by Doug & Jeannine A comedy in 3 acts to be ) full friendly advice - all piercing concepts discussed questionnaires on eating and performed in French. Friday ) 100% hygienic and sterile studio drinking behaviours. ) extensive stock of jewellery 25th-Saturday 26th April. ) fast custom jewellery service Interested? Please contact: Raven Theatre - Leeds Katherine Appleton. University Union. £2.00 7pm TURNING BODY PIERCING INTO AN ART Dept, of Psychology, University Tickets available from the 12A Cliff Mount, Woodhouse, Leeds, LS6 2HP of Leeds French Dept. l-2pm 0113 225 0405 tel: 233 6682 y.___ [email protected] email: [email protected] inside: politics 16-17 trauel 18-19 Friday April 25, 1997

-W -W TE’VE aU felt i t V V The night before ▼ T a major exam, that sinking feeling of panic in the pit of your stomach when you suddenly realise how pitifully unprepared you are. In desperation you guzzle litres of black coffee and pop enough pro-plus to prop up even the heaviest eyelids. Yes, it’s times like these, with 24 hours to go, when selective revision techniques really come into their own. The lack-of-revision panic is quickly replaced by the what-if- my-question-doesn’t-come-up type fears. But, according to international brain experts, in just five years time this could be nothing more than a dim and distant recollection. Forget pro- plus, all of us could soon be popping a pill that could actually increase the brain’s ability to form memories. Animal studies have It’s life Jim ... suggested the key to underpinning our flagging memories is to reinforce the Remember the claims of life on Mars that abounded last junctions across which nerve cells communicate, through repeated stimulation. ___ year? BARRY McKERNAN looks at the fossilised evidence for Mice given these memory- enhancing drugs have been shown to remember simple scienceJ Martian beings and brings you the latest alien life update. tasks more than 48 hours after having learned them, while Mankind's reach is not far at finishing her thesis. their counterparts with no drug M odern you’ll have witnessed the However, in the last month or The explanation was far treatment have forgotten within furore last year when NASA so, scientists working on the present. We've only visited our popular from mundane in any case. It a couple of hours. scientists raised the possibility Mars rocks have concluded that satellite, the Moon and we've turned out that the signals came More than two hundred culture seems of life once existing on Mars. these fossils were too small to samples of rock from only one from small, very dense neutron chemicals are currently being Television pictures of contain DNA; the very essence other planet in our solar to have a thing about stars that rotated incredibly developed by pharmaceutical micro-fossils in Mars rocks of life system. aliens at the moment. However, our telescopes quickly. companies all over the world, flashed around the world. To NASA, however, is not It may be that primitive life primarily to aimed at treating There's a surfeit of the scientists they looked like despairing. They’ve planned a probe far into space, seeing is quite common in the the memory defects observed in science fiction the remains of primitive mission to Titan, the moon of things that we may never reach. The Search for Extraterrestrial universe. We have no people with Alzheimers bacteria that flourished on Mars Saturn which they theorise may programmes on Intelligence programme uses information concerning disease. around four billion years ago. have oceans rich with life television and there’s radiotelescopes to analyse intelligent life save that about But by increasing the nerve The findings prompted beneath its icy outer crust. been a plethora of alien —= « = radiowaves from ourselves. junction sensitivity they are some scientists . ------— other star systems So we can only guess at the also likely to have wide appeal invasion type films. to speculate There are those who that life here on ... Bell wondered why aliens in our galaxy. conditions for the evolution of in a competitive commercial Their intelligent life. We can assume world. These drugs would work discount this alien fetish as Earth might scientists look for it requires a water-rich planet by improving memory millenarian hype; post cold have originated had to get in touch just when evidence of with a significant oxygen processing at the time the war American angst, with on Mars. Their theory was that artificial signals component of the atmosphere, information is acquired, the US a source of so much or codes that lying reasonably close to a enhancing the transition from a high energy of our popular culture. she was finishing her thesis.. could represent medium sized stable sun. Such short to long term memory. meteorite They've lost their Eastern evidence of alien planets may not be that A quick read through your impact on the = bloc foes, so the reasoning Red planet could have blown It’s long been known that communications. uncommon, considering that lecture notes the night before goes. As the sole superpower, So far nothing’s turned up. there are millions of such an exam would ensure total bacteria laden rocks out into the dust in between the stars the theory is they still need an contains amino acids which are There have been a few false medium sized stable suns in our information recollection, with space, some of which then adversary, resulting in their gradually fell to Earth. the precursors of protein; vital . alarms, most notably in the galaxy alone. no loss of valuable beauty search into outer space. early sixties, when Jocelyn Some astronomers have sleep. Another interesting for Earth-like life. However, this in no way However, judging from the Bell, a final year research made conservative estimates of Perfect. As pro-plus shares observation was that these discounts the phenomenal ubiquity of programmes like student at Cambridge picked up the possible number of fall through the floor, students entities appeared to have lived success of alien books, films The X-Files and their spin-offs, very regular pulsed signals. intelligent civilisations in our all over the world rejoice at the in a watery environment, and TV shows outside the US. most people are far more The signals were so regular galaxy, indeed the average thought of a stress free meaning that water is vital for It seems that us humans are life as we know it. interested in intelligent alien that it was thought likely that number they arrive at is university career full of first intrigued by the possibilities of they were artificial. Bell between five and 10. class exam results. Now, where If life could exist on Mars, life than the primitive life alien life. which may have existed on wondered why aliens had to get So, we are not alone... I put those pills...? then our galaxy may be Unless you were on Mars, teeming with lifeforms. Mars. in touch just as she was probably. iQut/oofcm i'.nn IN

May Day, May Day... a week from now the election race will be over. The main candidates for Leeds North-West, the key student constituency, try to woo JACOB HICKEY to vote their way

LEEDS NORTH-WEST CONSTITUENCY Harold Best, Labour Daniel Stuart Duffy, Ronnie The Rhino Party Sean Nicholas Emmett, Referendum Party Keith Hampson, Conservative Roger Lamb, Socialist Labour Party Barbara Anne Pearce, Liberal Democrat politics Robert Francis Toone, Profile Alliance Party THE LARGEST STUDENT DRINKING SOCIETY IN THE COUNTRY IS... Coc E LEEDS

S o c i e t y ) REVISION CAN WAIT!! 'cos the first event of the term is on... YOUR FIRST PAIR OF GLASSES MONDAY APRIL 28th COMPLETE WITH LENSES FIRST FRAME OVER £ 10 FREE LENSES MUST BE SINGLE VISION AND TO DOORS OPEN AT 7.00pm THE SAME PRESCRIPTION AS THE FIRST PAIR. ARRIVE EARLY TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT UNIVERSITY £1 MEMBERS £3 NON-MEMBERS S I O N 50p a Cocktail ¥ 0 P TI I C I A N S DIET COC-SOC! Lower Ground Floor, Union Buildings, Leeds University 'PuKbofcilliH

T tw i m id i fo

% r " \ f f ■ \

KEITH HAMPSON HAROLD BEST BARBARA PEARCE CONSERVATIVE MP LABOUR LIBERAL DEMOCRATS

Education: Education: Education: “APART from a smattering of students, nobody believes that you OR in Harold Best’s words “Education, education, “THE thing that I cannot stand is that there should be poverty can return to the full grant days of pre-1979.” education.” This he believes is his, and his party’s number for students and people forced to look for part time work Hampson, an Opposition Higher Education Spokesman during one priority. because they cannot support themselves.” the 1970s believes the only way the present Conservative On the subject of student funding, Best says he is Barbara Pearce says that the Liberal Democrats would not government has been able to increase the numbers of young people saddened by the changes but admits that it is no longer introduce top-up fees, a pledge she says separates herself and attending our universities, from one in eight to one in three, has been possible to have a full grant system but guarantees that re­ her party from both the Conservative Government and the through the Conservative Party’s shift towards the loan system. payment of loans will only begin when the graduate is Labour party. This provision in his view which should be further increased. He “earning sufficiently.” She admits, however, that there can be no return to the full believes that if students need extra money they should find part time Refusing to name exact figures for spending, the lifelong grant system. A penny on income tax would help pay for a £200 work. resident of Leeds compared Labour’s current position with million spending commitment to higher education in the first Mrs Thatcher’s 1979 opposition party which refused to state year of government. Crime: any budget proposals in advance. “A MAGNET for villains from all over the city,” is how Hampson Best dismisses the Liberal Democrat plans to put a penny Crime: describes ‘Studentland’. He admits that we in LS6 have a “huge on income tax as having “no relevance to the question of PEARCE attacks what she calls John Major’s broken promise problem” but that the general trend is one of improvement, indicated ensuring that the number one priority is education.’’ Best over bobbies on the beat, claiming there are now over 900 fewer by recent overall fall in crime figures throughout West Yorkshire. fully backs his Party’s plans to increase the number of police on pur streets. The Liberal Democrats “would make As the Prime Minister promises 5^000 mote police officers for graduates further, and reduce class sizes for 7-year-olds to policing more visible and put 3,000 more bobbies on the beat”. the nation by 1999, Hampson believes that extra police both oh foot 30 or fewer. Pearce believes that the current method of tackling crime is and in cars throughout Headingley is already.helping. failing. “We abhor many of the things the Home Secretary is Figures show crimeJhaS more than doubled during the Crime: putting through - not everything is answered by putting people Conservatives’ time in office. ‘Statistics, bad statistics and damn lies’ AS chairman of the Headingley Network which works in prisons.” is how Hampson views this one: “The notion that somehow-me rate with residents and the local community, Harold Best She Suggests the focus should be on the causes of crime and of crime and Conservative Government are related is absolutely argues he is best equippedJt.0 5.deal,with the acute problem blames much on “the malaise that sets in when there are no daft.” What are the answers then? Not rehaMtatidn schemes which, of crime in LS 6 . jobs”. Pearce says she is committed to setting up a Youth according to Hampson, “do not work.” A keen advocate of tougher Best believes that “in a culture led by sleazy and get rich Council and meeting with the students’ unions to discuss crime sentencing, he sees this as the only real way qf-dealirig-with quick people it is not surprising that.some will follow down problems and organising Sessions between students ted persistent offenders and acting as a deterrent for others. this road also”. residents to discuss the issues of crime.” While calling for “suitable treatment” for persistent Homeless\ Housing: offenders, Best statesjhat the causes of crime are the Homeless/ Housing: WHILE many of us testify to evidence, of a homeless problem fundamental issue, agd blames “unemployment and a state “I’M appalled that in*| civilised society we are prepared to put throughout Leeds, Keith Hampson is adamant that the issue is of cultural hopelessness” for many of the problems. up with ho.melessnesS.” Pearce believes the beggars are now a '■‘greatly exaggerated”. Despite this be is kee*i to promote one of the Best backs Labour’s plans for a complete handgun ban in “matter of daily life” and that this means “we are not working as Conservatives’ trump cards concerning ttferomeless. the wake of the Dunblane, and plans for more police on the a civilised society”. The ‘Rough Sleepers M ti^ v e ’ has cut the number of homeless beat. She believes practical action is the best solution, and the in London and other cities. He argues that the Labour Council Liberal Democrats have led the way in organising fundraising underspends on housing and disqpUsesfheir claim that central Homeless/ Housing: events for charities such as Shelter. government is to blame. Local government, Hampson says, “can use “LEEDS distfict council is spending a further £100,000 on its money in any way it wants, and housing is an area it should improvingjjbusing” and if re-elected, Best says Labour will Health: concentrate more upon”. help homeless people by setting up private tenancies AS a member of the Leeds Community Health Council, Pearce through self funding rent deposit schemes. believes that she has a great insight into the City’s problems. She Health: Best argues that beggars on our streets are a serious attacks the shortage of intensive car beds in the hospitals and HAMPSON points to the £133 million that has been spent during problem but suggests they are a product of 18 years of compares the general organisation at present to a “Mad Hatter’s the last decade on health provision in Leeds. He believes that Conservative government. Tea Party.” despite bad press over intensive car beds, technological She states the Liberal Democrats will move to more developments and re-organisation means that more specialist Quotes o f the Campaign: preventative medicine, re-introducing free eye and dental check treatment is available to more patients. The idea of a crisis in the “IT is essential that we remove the existing Conservative ups and putting a halt to the “rotting of the nation’s eyes and health service he says is “rubbish.” He fully supports his Party’s aim MP from office, he is a true reflection of this appalling teeth.” These provisions would be paid for by an extra 5p tax on to increase spending above inflation year on year on the NHS. government.” cigarettes and tightening up of the so-called NHS bureaucracy. “Labour is the only party which has proved it can beat the Quotes o f the Campaign: Tories in Leeds North West.” Quotes o f the campaign: THE Conservative Party is the party of enterprise, opportunity “We have the best policies, more radical and far reaching, we and young people.” would ask people to pay more to ensure high quality services.” ‘Why put everything at risk, your vote this time is more NEXT WEEK IN LEEDS STUDENT: “Only Barbara Pearce and the Liberal Democrats can stop the important than ever.” FULL RESULTS AND ANALYSIS Conservatives in Leeds North West.” V J v : J V J

HOW LEEDS CONQUERED m f t SIMON JEFFERY

£^EVERALyearsagoI received a birthday card. W_/Two bulls are sat in a travel agent’s deciding where to go on holiday. The man behind the desk says “Personally I wouldn’t recommend Spain”. Not bad advice at all. Spain, if you’re a bull, is completely out of the question. There are people who want to kill you and thousands more who want to watch. The bullfighting season started a few weeks ago: another summer of this bloodthirsty and, to be quite honest, quite tedious display. Once you’ve seen one bull die, you’ve seen them all. In Hong Kong, the countdown to June 30th has Even my initial enthusiasm soured to boredom and disgust The corrida - the bullfight’s well and truly begun. MATTHEW BOOTH gives a correct name - is a six-bull afternoon, one after the other. Each animal faces the horse- mounted picador’s lance, the personal perspective on life in Hong Kong and the effect banderillos’ barbed darts and finally die matador’s cape and sword. Then it dies and is the handover will have on the large expatriate community dragged around die zing by trauel horses. It is, or peihaps was, Spain’s H o n g k o n g . It’s a beautiful city, Hong Kong has more not half as profitable, so most have moved back to Britain, most endunng image (daring, The pearl of perhaps one of the most McDonalds per square mile of the crime that does take as I have, to University, and foolishly heroic and slightly beautiful in the world with than anywhere else in the place is below board and are unsure of what answer to insane etc.) and finds its way into the Orient, its hundreds of majestic world. Our TV stations unseen by most people. give when the question, language, culture and art Picasso the Asian New York, glass towers rising out of a broadcast almost totally Perhaps the most “where are you from?” is painted die bulls - most famously American programming and interesting and topical thing asked. Do they mean where I the most prominent forest of people and traffic. we succumb to American about Hong Kong is it’s near was bom? Oh, Consett, in Guemica, his powerful civil We know it’s the city war protest example of the fashions more readily than future, which is really why I County Durham (and have where West meets, and gets European. am writing this article. never been there since). Or Die-hard aficionados, the true economic miracle on quite well with East. It is a supporters, would toy to sell you One thing we have not After gaining Hong Kong do they mean “where is that has swept over city of great diversity with adopted from the U.S is their through a variety of sordid home?”. Home is, of course, the corrida itself as high art - sleepy beaches and leafy equivalent to opera, classical Asia in the last thirty crime statistics. Hong Kong and rather despicable Hong Kong, but soon I will vistas on its south side, while is disturbingly safe. For some methods, Britain is handing need a visa to visit. music and theatre. As far as I years, and also my on the north side of the Island know they aren’t joking. They reason violent crime is not back perhaps her most To be plain, Britain really home town. you can feel the adrenaline commonplace. It isn’t successful colony (apologies has no business in that area of really mean it pulsing through the streets as But its hardly a sport. Not I moved to Hong because 2we all have a fair to the Falkland Islanders). the world. We grabbed it Kong sixteen years ago millions of people participate and decent welfare system For us expatriates this causes when we could get away with able to fill the usual “Can you in the great Hong Kong sport bet on it?” criteria (you wouldn’t after my dad tired of that ensures equal treatment something of an identity it and when nobody else of moving really quickly to no for all; on the contrary, we crisis. seemed to mind. Hong Kong get good odds, it’s not an equal building post offices for purpose. It’s a city of contest) the corrida has become a have no welfare system at all is not a part of Britain and Newcastle city council enormous contrasts, of and the gap between rich and PENDING the majority never could be. However, and profit-hungry business. fantastic vitality and The top matador’s managers and decided to seek his poor is obvious on every S of one’s life in a place here is where the problem lies unimaginable excitement. street. The Triads (Chinese- and then to be told that - Hong Kong is not a part of often breed the bulls themselves fortune in the Orient, as Even though it’s closest and areproducing safer, fess his grandfather had done style Mafia) run the crime in you don’t have any right to be China either. Geographically neighbour is China, there are Hong Kong and they tend to there any more is somewhat it is, but you could say the ferocious animals - giving the in India 100 years a multitude of other strong Uhision of a more accenijjlMied keep things under control of a bitch. We’re not really same to a before. Thus I became influences on Hong Kong more than anything else. Any English, we’re not Chinese, Belgian performance from the matador culture. Obviously there is and a higher fee for the manager an expatriate, but not disorganised crime is not and ‘Hong Kongers’ don’t about the British influence but even permitted and exist anymore, so you can see from the next fight. any expatriate, oh no, a more strongly noticeable is Horn shaving, another bull our problem. Many of my Hong Konger through the onslaught of Coca- friends tampering abuse, disorientates colonialism, or the bull, upsets its balance and and through. What can I say about •American crucially, makes it less likely to [culture. chaige in the final stages of the Hong Kong that hasn’t fight, letting the matador show been said already? off his most skillful moves against a crippled animal. The 1997 season was almost cancelled because of such allegations. The European Parliament foreign animal rights groups and others have all tried to ban or amend the corrida. Opposition within Spain is, however, often unacknowledged and underrated. Not everyone is a fan: football and basketball are better supported. The Canary Islands banned the bulls in 1991 and with the closure of one of Barcelona’s two rings soon after, it is possible the corrida will retreat to its Madrid and Andalucian heartlands next century. Still, to any bulls out there - I’m i s i a s sure some of you read this column - 1 would like to reiterate the earlier advice. Stay away. | f § i I ■■ JO utfoolrlFiFiH l

"\ A ll about. mm

- Return flights to Hong Kong cost c. £470 depending on the season. Kai Tak International airport is on Kowloon, a 5-minute ferry ride away from the island. - Accommodation on Hong Kong is expensive and budget hotels are hard to come by. Hotels range from the Peninsula (unbelievable 5 star luxury) to Chongking Mansions, which is a hellhole of winding corridors, rats and fire hazard stair wells. - Hong Kong in the summer months is hot, humid and oppressive. The best time to go is in the winter months when the weather is a little cooler and you can move without feeling exhausted. - The food in Hong Kong is fantastic. As with everything, if you can’t find it in Hong Kong, you won’t find it anywhere. Mexican, Indian, French and Chinese a-plenty, and anything else you can think of are all available. The water almost everywhere on the island is fine to drink and shouldn’t cause too much stomach trouble! • Hong Kongers are hardworking, hardplaying and fastliving. Flash cars are everywhere and the main streets boast Chanel, Dior and Gucci. To a visitor, the atmosphere may seem fake and impersonal but get to know the place a bit and you’ll discover a fantastic city to party in!

For more practical information about Hong Kong (if we have so effectively inspired you) several travel guides are available. This really is one of the best times to be visiting Hong Kong, so be The build-up to the handover has fuelled aware that air travel around the handover date is much speculation about exactly what the becoming increasingly harder to come by. repercussions of Communist leadership France and they would be the many drawbacks of being used to it, and prosper from it,. of a distinctly Capitalist society might be. THE ROUGH GUIDE to Hong Kong and V. Macau is one o f the most comprehensive guides as upset about it as it is possile annexed by a Communist just like all the other crisis that There are signs of hope for the future in superpower. have hit Hong Kong in the available; however they also have a new title out for a Belgian to be. Hong the development programme currently in The people there are fairly past. progress & there is still some confidence this year on China which now incorporates both Kong is not like China at all positive about the future. As for us expats, we’ll pack Hong Kong and Macau in reasonable depth. I f and the differences between that Hong Kong as we know it will still They do look forward to their up our cricket stumps, fold survive in the burgeoning economy of you are thinking o f visiting Hong Kong as part o f the two cultures is obvious. reunification and the end of away our parasols, have a final southeastern China. a longer trip, this could be a really useful buy. Nevertheless, the people of colonialism, but in a forced pink gin at the club and leave. Hong Kong will adapt and kind of way. A typical Hong We know when we’re not J become even more successful Kong kind of way. wanted. Hey, isn’t Bermuda than they are already, despite They will deal with it, get still a colony....? when yOU Timage History of i colony is important NE of the most seemed the only option at the The British however, were successfully time for reversing the trade intent on pursuing free trade imbalance, and so was in China, aggressively if A g fa has avoided topics aggressively pursued by the necessary. An expeditionary of the handover foreigners. Opium was sold force was sent to Hong Kong Odiscussions which haveillegally to corrupt Chinese in 1840, demanding been aired of late is, merchants and officials in compensation for the opium answers. exchange for goods, and and an apology from the the curiously, how on earth despite its illegality, soon Chinese. These events are Britain came to prospered. referred to as the First Opium Transparencies. Photographic acquire Hong Kong in Soon enough, the most War. prints. Printed imagery. Digital Agfa e-Photo Digital Camera the first place. successful names of the time photos. Whatever your input, were those connected with the ost importantly, the Download to MAC6 or PC no film or Unsurprisingly, you need detail and colour that processing. Better looking photos at a opium trade and who had no British demanded a base considering their form M are true to the originals. And very low price. Comes complete with moral doubts about this on the Chinese coast from that's what you get with Agfa user-friendly software. elsewhere in the world, the dubious business. which they could open up the tactics used by the Brits By the 1830s, the opium country to free trade. They digital cameras and scanners. So were somewhat dubious. smuggling operation had attacked the forts guarding that's w hy your images always Western countries were become enormous, with over Canton and sent ships all the meet the highest production- SnapScan allowed to establish trading 40,000 chests of the drug way up the Chinese coast, quality standards. . One pass scanning, push-button ease, operations in Canton in the being delivered every year blockading and firing on ports 300 x 600 dpi resolution. Software for After all, it's your input. Your ' Mac* or PC Agfa Scanner CO with early part of the 18th century. into the Pearl River Estuary. and cities all the way. vision. We’re just here to help The British, Dutch, FotoLook" and FotoSnap” (scanner That is a hell of a lot of Eventually the Chinese were you make the most of it. driver software), FotoFlavor" (selective Americans and the French opium. Eventually the forced to negotiate. colour correction software), SOFT were all there in a bid to cash Chinese Emperor noticed The British once again copy". in on this jewel of what was going on, and attacked Canton and the flag Agfa e-Photo and Agfa SnapScan come opportunity. became concerned with the was raised on January 26th complete with appropriate software. Agfa-Gevaert Ltd„ Graphic Systems, The British thrived under effect which the drug was 1841. The Chinese were 27 Great West Road, Brentford. what were actually quite having on his peoples’ health forced to pay an indemnity to Middx. TW89AX restrictive conditions of the on a national scale. In 1839 he the British, but most Tel: Graphic Into Centre 01812314200, Chinese, the British East India appointed one of th trade’s importantly, Hong Kong Fax: 01812314957. Company being one of the opponents Lin Tse-Hsu to island was conceded to the www.agfahome.com principle companies involved. attempt to end the illegal British “in perpetuity”. Their problem was that the import of the drug into So that, boys and girls, is trading terms were more Canton. He promptly had the how Hong Kong came to be a W H AT DO favourable for the Chinese, foreigners opium chests British colony. Not a pretty YOU SEE ? A G F A ^ until the beginning of the now destroyed and forced the story and one which hardly infamous trade in opium... traders to retreat to nearby fills anyone with pride, but The complete picture. It was this trade which Macau. there you are. WILL CHAPS BE CHAMPS? THE REFEREE

C LIVE Barrett, the outstanding manager of last ■ TITLE CHASERS term, has managed to A haul enough points 1 CLIVE BARRETT CHAPLAIN’S CHAPS 281 over the Easter period 2 RAJINDER BHARIJ THE GANJA GURUS 277 to maintain his lead in 3 KEVIN DUFFY BLUE MOON 266 the Total Football begun to recapture his 4 SIMON BENT WATFORD RULE 265 Newcastle form, scoring and 5 CHRIS BIRKENSHAW PEDALO ALBINSON 263 League. setting up goals for Manchester 6 GLEN DICKIN GLEN’S HOTSHOTS 258 Along with Rajinder United. 7 JAMES FEARN HOT PANT HEROES 250 Bharij’s Ganga Gurus, the Back in the frame after long 8 RICHARD GRAY BOB * 247 injury setbacks, Kevin Gallacher 9= JONATHAN TOBIAS SPORTING SIDEBURNS 246 Chaplains Chaps have IAN PICKERING GREAT CORNHOLIO FC 246 (below) has been scoring JON BEZIQUE broken away from the rest regularly for Blackburn Rovers HOLLAND BANKCHEQUE 246 of the pack. 12 MARK WOODROW THE WOODIES 242 and managed to get a call-up 13 SARAH FITCH PANTS 241 The Gurus have been into the Scotland squad for 14 PENNY HAWKINS MUSTANG SALLY 239 lying in second place for World Cup games. 15 PAUL JENNINGS • JENNING’S GIANTS 238 some time and will Despite being far from the 16= PAUL THOMAS BORNOFPELE 237 best choice for defensive TF JIM COWAN THE MILK HUSTLERS 237 probably make the final players, Chelsea team members 18= BEN SHOTTON BENZINHO’S DRIBBLERS 236 run-in a close one. are scoring freely putting in ROBIN HEAD A.F.C. LINCHPINS 236 20= JIM STEWART STEWART’S STUNNERS 235 Important factors to note three, four, or even six goals as INDERJIT SINGH WHAT’S YER PROBLEM? 235 *are that high scoring players they did against over DAVE BUTLER DJ FOOTBALL 235 such as Robbie Fowler will Easter. 23= PETER DAWSON BURNING AT BOTH ENDS 234 play no further part in JUNINHO has proved to be too mobile for many defences KEITH BARDSLEY MARK CATER SCORES 234 the Premiership this Miserly to clearing their own lines have break. The craftsmanship has 25 BENJAMINE EVANS I LOVE MY CHICKENS 232 been knocking them in. Gary 26= MATT WHITCOMBE MATT’S (FOOD) MIX 231 season, due to Leeds and Arsenal both - come from Juninho who has JONATHAN STOKES Pallister of Manchester United WEST PARK WANDERERS 231 suspension. associated with George Graham lead many a merry dance and 28= ANDY SHEEN DUNC SINGS THE BLUES 230 and his miserly if boring bagged a brace last weekend, scored several times over the ANDREW HOLLAND ROVERS - GOING DOWN 230 Ole while Aston Villa’s Steve defensive tactics - have out- ' last few weeks. REBECCA MITCHELL MUM PICKED THESE 230 Gunnar Staunton, Sheffield 1 Solskjear, a relative performed all other defences One player that always scores DOMINIC SCOTT MUZZY IZZET, YEH 230 Wednesday’s Orlando Trustfull JANUS MOORHOUSE bargain may be kept who have been much more several is TF’s top scoring HORNETS GOLD 230 and Newcastle’s Robbie Elliot 33=ADAM POWELL generous and allowed most player with 63 points, Alan DIAMOND WALNUTS 229 at bay, while his have all netted recently. ADRIAN KEELER BDBMFK WMHSF 229 colleague Andy Premiership teams to score Shearer . He has done little to The spectacle of free-flowing Cole, spumed by goals. disappoint anyone who splashed and fluid samba skills have been many TF managers, has Even those more accustomed out £10 million to sign him for most impressive over the Easter their team. T FASTER BREAK PLAYERS SCORES: Are you a title chaser or an also-ran?

Goalkeepers EastTot 059 HARTE LEE 0 5 105 DUBERRY CHE 0 5 165 PLATT ARS 9 16 060 MCATEER LIV 229 STAMP MID 1 -7 289 NDLOVU COV 6 7 0 14 106 SINCLAIR CHE -7-10 166 PARLOUR ARS 0 3 230 ROBSON 001 SEAMAN 061 BJORNEBYE LIV -3 19 107 LEE MID 0 0 290 STURRIDGE DER 11 26 ARS 5 18 CHE 0 4 167 HELDER ARS 0 0 231 BEARDSLEY NEW 6 28 002 BARTRAM ARS 0 0 062 R JONES LIV 0 0 108 DAISH 291 GABBIADINI DER 0 -1 COV 0 10 168 VIEIRA ARS 2 14 232 GINOLA NEW 2 13 292 WARD 003 BOSNICH AST 6 17 063 IRWIN MAU 6 11 109 SHAW COV -6 7 DER 8 24 169 DRAPER AST 3 9 233 LEE NEW 10 34 293 WILLEMS DER 0 3 004 OAKES AST 2 12 064 G NEVILLE MAU -4 5 110 STIMAC DER 0 -7 170 CURCIC AST 0 0 005 065 P NEVILLE 234 GILLESPIE NEW 2 13 294 FERGUSON EVE 3 15 FLOWERS BLA -1 17 MAU 0 -5 111 LAURSEN DER -2 -9 171 TOWNSEND AST 0 6 235 CLARK NEW 0 7 006 GIVEN BLA 066 COX MID 2-13 112 UNSWORTH 295 STUART EVE -1 13 0 3 EVE -4 -2 172 TAYLOR AST 0 9 236 BATTY NEW 7 12 296 RIDEOUT 007 KHARINE CHE 0 0 067 FLEMING MID 6 3 113 WATSON EVE 4 5 EVE •1 -1 173 FARRELLY AST 1 2 237 WOAN NOF -1 -8 297 BRANCH EVE 4 6 WHERE AM I? 008 HITCHCOCK CHE 0 -3 068 BRANCO MID 0 0 114 SHORT EVE -1 6 174 DONIS 069 WATSON BLA •1 4 238 STONE NOF 0 0 298 YEBOAH LEE 0 -2 009 OGRIZOVIC COV -6 6 NEW 7 13 115 PALMER LEE 0 -9 175 BOHINEN BLA 0 4 239 GEMMILL 010 FILAN 070 ELLIOTT NEW 11 7 116 WETHERALL NOF -2-10 299 RUSH LEE 0 11 COV 0 0 LEE 5 22 176 WILCOX BLA -2 6 240 BART-WILLIAMS NOF 0 3 300 DEANE 011 HOULT DER -2 -6 071 BARTON NEW 3 3 117 JOBSON LEE 0 LEE 3 15 0 177 SHERWOOD BLA -3 7 241 PHILLIPS NOF -2 -2 301 WALLACE LEE 3 11 012 SOUTHALL EVE 118 RADEBE LEE -1 19 178 TOWNSEND BLA 0 0 242 BLINKER 013 GERRARD SWY 1 2 302 CLARIDGE LEI 5 27 EVE 119 PEMBERTON LEE 0 0 179 WARHURST BLA 2 2 243 PEMBRIDGE SWY 1 17 014 MARTYN LEE 120 WALSH 303 HESKEY LEI 3 15 LEI -2 7 180 DI MATTEO CHE 2 12 244 SHERIDAN SWY 0 0 304 MARSHALL LEI 4 17 Place Pts. 015 BEENEY LEE 121 WATTS LEI -2 0 181 WISE CHE 2 6 245 HYDE 016 KELLER SWY 0 4 305 FOWLER LIV 1 42 LEI 122 PRIOR LEI -4 -8 182 PEACOCK CHE 0 0 246 OAKES SWY 0 5 306 BERGER 017 POOLE LEI 123 WRIGHT LIV Lrv 0 6 -3 12 183 MORRIS CHE -4 -4 247 COLLINS SWY -1 3 307 COLLYMORE LIV 2 30 018 JAMES 124 BABB LIV 0 6 184 BURLEY CHE 7 6 248 LE TISSIER 1 #19 WARNER SOT 0 20 308 L JONES LIV 0 0 125 MATTEO LIV -2 9 185 MCALLISTER COV -2 1 249 MAGILTON 309 CANTONA 2 2 2 020 SCHMEICHEL 126 SCALES LIV MAU 11 36 50 3 6 186 JESS COV -3 -7 250 HEANEY 310 SOLSKJAER MAU 9 38 021 VAN DER GOUW 127 RUDDOCK LIV 0 14 187 O’NEILL COV 0 0 251 SLATER SOT -1 -4 022 MILLER 128 PALLISTER 311 SCHOLES MAU 3 14 MAU 12 12 188 RICHARDSON COV -4 -4 252 OAKLEY SOT 0 8 312 COLE MAU 13 24 1 0 0 023 WALSH 1 129 MAY MAU 5 18 189 TELFER COV -5-10 253 GRAY SUN -1 -4 207 024 SRNICEK 130 JOHNSEN 313 RAVANELLI MID 2 25 MAU -2 9 190 WILLIAMS COV 3 -4 254 AGNEW SUN 0 2 314 BARMBY MID 1 17 a 131 PEARSON MID 0 -3 191 ASANOVIC DER 1 9 255 RAE 026 CROSSLEY 072 BERESFORD NEW 2 SUN 1 -7 315 FJORTOFT MID 0 2 150 197 NOF -2 0 6 132 VICKERS MID 3-14 192 SIMPSON DER 0 -1 256 BRACEWELL 027 073 PEARCE NOF 1 SUN -4-13 316 SHEARER NEW 12 63 FETTIS NOF 0 0 4 133 WHYTE MID 0 -9 193 VAN DER LAAN DER 5 1 257 ANDERTON TOT 1 5 317 FERDINAND 028 PRESSMAN SWY 074 LYTTLE NOF 1 1 134 WHELAN NEW 8 40 2 0 0 -2 13 MID 0 -2 194 POWELL DER 1 -8 258 FOX TOT -1 -3 318 ASPRILLA NEW 8 18 187 029 BEASANT SOT 0 -4 075 HAALAND NOF 5 11 135 ALBERT NEW 2 14 195 DAILLY 076 DER 0 -8 259 HOWELLS TOT 0 -1 319 KITSON NEW 11 16 030 COTON SUN 0 -1 NOLAN SWY -2 12 136 HOWEY NEW 0 0 196 ROWETT DER 5 -7 260 DOZZELL TOT 2 2 031 WALKER 077 ATHERTON SWY 3 14 320 ROY NOF 0 5 TOT 2 6 137 PEACOCK NEW 3 12 197 KANCHELSKIS EVE 0 13 261 NIELSEN TOT 0 10 321 CAMPBELL NOF 0 4 250 179 032 MIKLOSKO WHA 0 3 078 NICOL SWY -1 7 138 COOPER NOF -2 -4 198 SPEED EVE -1 20 079 DODD 262 SINTON TOT -2 2 322 SAUNDERS NOF 0 6 033 SULLIVAN WIM -1 3 SOT -1 -5 139 CHETTLE NOF -2 0 199 EBBRELL EVE 0 -2 263 DUMITRESCU WHA 0 0 034 HEALD 080 BENALI SOT -4 -4 323 LEE NOF 0 -1 WIM ■1 -1 140 JERKAN NOF 0 -3 200 PARKINSON EVE -3 -2 264 BISHOP WHA-1 -2 324 HUMPHREYS SWY 0 4 300 174 081 KUBICKI SUN -6 -5 141 STEFANOVIC SWY 1 8 201 LIMPAR EVE 0 0 082 SCOTT 265 HUGHES WHA i -5 325 BOOTH SWY 8 26 SUN 0 -8 142 WALKER * SWY -2 17 202 SAMWAYS EVE 0 0 266 MONCUR WHA 0 -2 Wing-backs 083 AUSTIN TOT 0 2 326 HIRST SWY 4 19 350 143 TRUSTFULL SWY 8 20 203 SHARPE LEE 3 13 267 LAZARIDES WHA 2 -1 327 WHITTINGHAM SWY 0 4 168 084 WILSON TOT 0 3 144 NEWSOME SWY -1 6 204 BOWYER LEE 0 4 268 WILLIAMSON 035 DIXON ARS 4 27 085 EDINBURGH TOT WHA 2 -1 328 BRIGHT SWY 0 0 036 WINTERBURN 1 4 145 MONKOU SOT -1-10 205 GRAY LEE 0 0 269 EARLE WIM 0 11 329 SHIPPERLEY ARS 7 23 086 DICKS WHA 5 17 146 VENISON SOT 0 4 400 162 037 STAUNTON AST 7 30 SOT 0 0 206 FORD LEE 0 2 270 LEONHARDSEN WIM 1 14 330 WATSON SOT 0 2 087 BREACKER WHA 1 0 147 NEILSON SOT 2 4 207 COUZENS LEE 0 -2 038 WRIGHT AST 6 29 088 BOWEN WHA 271 GAYLE WIM 1 23 331 OSTENSTADT SOT 8 36 039 CHARLES 0 -1 148 DRYDEN SOT 2 •1 208 PARKER LEI -1 0 272 JONES WIM 1 16 332 QUINN T AST 0 0 089 THATCHER WIM 0 SUN 0 0 450 155 040 NELSON AST 8 29 1 149 LUNDEKVAM SOT 1 -7 209 IZZET LEI -2 2 273 ARDLEY WIM •2 3 333 STEWART SUN 3 4 041 LESAUX 090 CUNNINGHAM WIM 1 2 150 MELVILLE SUN -5 -2 210 LENNON LEI -4 2 334 RUSSELL BLA •1 18 091 PERRY WIM 0 6 151 ORD SUN 0 13 042 KENNA BLA -1 19 SUN -3 1 211 TAYLOR LEI -1 -1 Strikers 335 KELLY SUN 0 3 500 150 043 CROFT BLA o .] 152 BALL SUN 6 3 212 LAWRENCE LEI -1 -3 336 SHERINGHAM TOT 1 18 153 CAMPBELL TOT 2 5 213 MCMANAMAN LIV •2 16 044 PETRESCU CHE -1 -2 Centre-backs 274 WRIGHT ARS 6 39 337 ARMSTRONG TOT 0 7 045 CLARKE CHE -7- 14 154 CALDERWOOD TOT -1 2 214 REDKNAPP LIV 1 11 338 ALLEN TOT 0 2 550 146 046 092 155 NETHERCOTT TOT 0 -1 215 BARNES LIV 1 14 275 BERGKAMP ARS 5 29 PHELAN CHE 2 0 ADAMS ARS 9 31 276 HARTSON ARS 4 7 339 RADUCIOIU WHA 0 6 047 MINTO CHE -6 -3 093 BOULD ARS 6 19 156 MABBUTT TOT 0 0 216 THOMAS LIV -2 6 340 FUTRE WHA 0 0 048 094 157 BILIC WHA 3 0 217 KENNEDY LIV 0 0 277 YORKE AST 10 41 600 140 BORROWS COV -4 -7 KEOWN ARS 8 25 278 MILOSEVIC AST 3 19 341 PORFIRIO WHA 0 3 049 BURROWS COV -1 -3 095 LINIGHAN ARS 0 -1 158 RIEPER WHA 2 7 218 GIGGS MAU 0 20 342 COTTEE WHA 0 0 159 POTTS WHA 2 -1 219 BECKHAM 1 22 279 JOHNSON AST 3 6 050 HALL COV -4 2 096 SOUTHGATE AST 5 12 MAU 280 JOACHIM 343 DOWIE WHA 2 4 650 134 160 HALL WHA 0 0 220 POBORSKY MAU 3 9 AST 2 2 051 GENAUX COV 0 0 097 EHIOGU AST 8 32 281 GALLACHER BLA 14 31 344 HOLDSWORTH WIM 3 7 052 POWELL DER -4 -9 098 MCGRATH AST -6 -9 161 MCALLISTER WIM 1 1 221 CRUYFF MAU 0 -3 345 EKOKU WIM 2 25 053 099 162 FITZGERALD WIM 0 0 222 KEANE MAU 1 2 282 SUTTON BLA 2 25 PARKER DER 0 0 HENDRY BLA -4 22 283 FENTON BLA 0 -1 . 346 GOODMAN WIM 2 2 700 126 054 BARRETT EVE 2 5 100 BERG BLA -1 22 163 KIMBLE WIM •2 -4 223 BUTT MAU 1 2 347 CLARKE WIM 0 0 101 224 EMERSON MID 2 2 284 VIALLI CHE 5 16 055 HOTTIGER EVE -2 -5 COLEMAN BLA 0 0 285 HUGHES CHE :11 29 056 HINCHCLIFFE 102 LEBOEUF 225 JUNINHO MID 111 19 750 118 EVE 0 8 CHE -5 -7 rs 286 SPENCER CHE 0 -1 057 KELLY LEE 5 30 103 GULLIT CHE 0 1 226 HIGNETT MID 2 11 227 MOORE MID ■2 -1 287 WHELAN COV 9 13 058 DORIGO LEE 1 7 104 JOHNSEN CHE -4 -8 164 MERSON ARS A 288 DUBLIN COV 8 28 The referee - Kofi Ohene-Djan 228 MUSTOE MID •■1 -3 Devised by - Matt Roper & Alex Gubbay:> LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25,1997 2T

HEAD TO HEAD BUSA NEWS o r g e t aii the pomp of light blue RUGBY UNION* versus dark, or that IN A disappointing match, seminalF sporting occasion LUU beat their local rivals known as the Boat Race. from LMUSU 27-20. For top varsity action, the Neither side was pleased place to be is Headingley with their performance stadium on Tuesday night for after a lacklustre match the clash between LMUSU played on a hard pitch. Jackie Lacey and Roland and Bradford for the Majestyk White both scored tries. But the Trophy. only man to be satisfied with his On what promises to be a game was LUU’s Ben Crosby- fiercely contested and highly Ross who converted all the tries enjoyable night of rugby, proceeds and scored all the penalties with from ticket sales will go to Oxfam a fine kicking display. while the Leeds Rhinos have Both teams will be hoping to kindly donated the use of the fine lift their game for the end of stadium for free. Sponsorship has season matches. come from both Majestyk and The Student Ball Company. Bradford are taking the place GYMNASTICS of LUU who pulled out of the BEFORE the Easter break, match on two separate occasions. LMUSU Gymnastics Club Such varsity matches have been picked up two medals in an taking place up and down the important national country raising thousands of pounds for Oxfam, and the competition. Abi Hagley and Lucy Francis organisers predict that Tuesday’s took gold while Catherine Jeffries showdown will be one of the and Gaetanne Deschenes picked biggest and best yet. up the bronze in the National Also hoping for big things on Student Acrobatics Competition.- the night are LMUSU’s James at De Montfort University'S Goodwin and Nick Rose, pictured Bedford. here learning one of the first iron The inexperienced men’s rules of the game - hanging on to pairings performed admirably in the ball. one of their first national outings.

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35 Rrndale Centre, Otley Road, Headingley, Leeds LS6 2UE Tel: 0113 2746746 Fan: 0113 2780841 or check out our web site at: http://uiww.interpages.co.uk/mark pickering

45 1 2 LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 25, 1997 Two tries for Graeme Sarjeant as LUU romp to INALEAGUE QQQ

y ■ IQ HEY really are getting he possesses the ability to laugh younger. It’s not just at himself. While millions of us getting older. . viewers thought he was about to J R . Yesterday 12-year-old screw it up, he looked as cool as Katy Parker became the if he were about to break in a pub youngest English athlete to game. With every shot, the play in a world championship. nation held its breath waiting for 12 years old! She makes the black to stop just short of the Jennifer Capriati’s debut at pocket. But Ronnie knew. Wimbledon when she was 14 Ronnie was confident - once the seem positively late in life. reds were gone, he attacked the It leads to all the obvious rest of the table with a questions of bum out, nonchalance reserved for experienced by the hustlers. aforementioned Capriati who This time last year he was the also ended up in a drying out enemy of the establishment after clinic. But Stephen Hendry is a he took a shot with his left hand. prime example of what else can It’s all part of the same attitude happen - no burn out, just though - he sees himself as a ridiculous amounts of success! performer, and he enjoys He won his first World showing off, whether it be with a Championship at 17 in 1986 147 break or an joke shot. That is and is still going strong. what sport should be about. It’s » Footballers are also getting not about the posing and the "younger. Paul Allen was the psychology, it’s about youngest ever man to play in enjoyment. the FA Cup final, back in 1980 There aren’t many sportsmen when he played for West Ham or women who play their game against Arsenal at just 16. That with a smile on their face. made headline news back in Ronnie is one of an elite group. 1980, but players are making John Duncan is also a member. their first team debuts when Anyone who saw Chesterfield’s they are younger and younger. FA Cup semi final against When talking about child Middlesbrough will remember prodigies, you can’t omit Tiger the lower league team manager’s Woods. At 21 he has just won reaction to their last minute his first Masters at Augusta. equaliser. The famous “We’ve More importantly he also has a scored, have my glasses, $40 million contract with Nike. someone catch them please,” That would pay off a few routine will be etched on the student loans or overdrafts. memory forever. But the money is not the point These stars are very ^ ~V N E man who Is talented and incredibly I ■definitely not enjoying dedicated, they deserve to be his sport at the moment rewarded. What is hard to take is David James. The man has is that they are our age. We lost form, no one is denying have to realise that we really that Neither is anyone denying are not going to make it if we that maybe he wasn’t that haven’t been discovered by good in the first place. But he is now. That dream of becoming not personally responsible for a professional footballer handing Manchester United recedes with the realisation the Premiership title for third that it really is just that, a consecutive year, as at least HEAD AND SHOULDERS ABOVE THE REST: Jubilant captain Danny McCormack is carried to the dressing room clutching the dream. Centre court at broadsheet suggested this latest addition to LUU rugby league’s trophy cabinet, the impressive BUSA cup. Pic: Rugby Leaguer Wimbledon is never going to week. happen, well not when we’re Give the bloke a chance. He awake anyway. Scoring the is only one man in a team of 11 winning goal, try or run for players. And against Man Utd England - we’ve just got to the midfield of Barnes, admit that we’re not going to Thomas and Redknapp was do it It’s a hard pill to swallow never going to create enough and 12-year-old world for lone striker Fowler. The AND THE WINNER IS competitors don’t make it only orthodox right-sided It’s your chance to vote for qualified for BUSA any easier. player in the team, the LMUSU Sports Awards championship McAteer, was taken off to be presented at the ball to PERSONALITIES onnie when the manager be held at Road on O’Sullivan realised he needed Mike Trenell - Rugby Union JL V w ill get more forward power. Wednesday 7th May. Sam James - Rugby Union £147,000 for his j It was front page, Prizes will be awarded in the Scott Fenton - Football 147 break at the headline news when following categories: Jerome Jeans - Surfing/ Gymnastics 1

OF THEIR OWN Friday April 26 NDER the interval, the game was finely N ationw ide League poised and if the old adage of Division One floodlights Match report by ‘the best time to score is just Bolton v Charlton at St Helens’ before half-time’ is anything to Norwich v Manchester City Knowsley ______PAUL WILSON go by, Warrington will have Portsmouth v Ipswich been as pleased with their Road,u LUU went one Warrington Collegiate Institute 19 comeback as Leeds were Saturday April 27 step further than last with their opening burst. N ationw ide League year and stormed to a Leeds University Union 33 The second half promised Division One to be as close as-the scores Barnsley v Bradford against the proverbial first points on the board. 33-19 victory in the suggested, and the opening v Oxford ‘unknown quantity’, Wibberly BUSA Cup Final. Good work from Willy ten minutes were exactly that. Queens Park Rangers v had the non-too-common Wright and Danny McCormack Elliot Lorimar was felled by trophy: Tranmere In beating Warrington coaches’ luxury of a full and put hooker Graham Sarjeant in Collegiate Institute, a high tackle after only four “All credit Reading v Oldham injury-free squad to pick from: for the opening try after 13 minutes, and Armitage made no Sheffield Utd v Stoke Leeds finally laid to rest “This is the best team we’ve minutes which full-back to them,” he said, “they proved mistake with the penalty, but tonight that they are no Second Southend v Huddersfield got and exactly who we would Richard Armitage converted. the ghost of defeat by Eddie Bannon answered Division side and if they come Swindon v Crystal Palace Liverpool John Moores have picked on the first day of The lead was doubled immediately for Warrington West Bromwich Albion v the season.” up next year they’ll be our within three minutes, Saijeant with a superb drop goal from hardest game.” Grimsby University in the Warrington also came into touching down again after the halfway line. The performance his side corresponding fixture last the game with high hopes, gathering a kick which left It was from now until the put in was not lost on him N ationw ide League season and showed having won the North Division Warrington’s line flat-footed. finish, however, that Leeds either. of the SRL, setting themselves Armitage again obliged with Division Two themselves to be the stepped up a gear and began to “We were magnificent for up for a play-off with the the conversion and it looked as Blackpool v Bristol Rovers leading student Rugby dominate in all areas, taking the the first 20 minutes, we got a bit Bournemouth v Wrexham champions of the and though Leeds had made the game to their opponents as complacent and let them back League side in the South for the right to challenge ideal platform from which to Bristol City v effectively as they soaked up in but what can I say? Second Crewe v Chesterfield country. Leeds in next season’s National control the match. anything Warrington could half, nothing but effort. But This victory comes on Millwall v Gillingham offer in reply. that’s the double, we’ll be the back of National League Notts Co v Matt Pennington’s clever chasing the Premiership now.” victory for the second Peterborouh v Luton Winning this match showed dummy flick sent Raoul Simons On the evidence of their successive year and the v York over in the left comer in the Final victory, the treble - and much-publicised Challenge Shrewsbury v Preston 11th minute. Nine minutes later, Challenge Cup entry via Cup run back in January. Stockport v Wycombe Leeds to be the leading it was in the other comer where Premiership success - is a likely For those with short Walsall v Brentford Nick Diamond scored Leeds’ outcome. Watford v Bury memories, LUU became the student side in the country fourth try after a Warrington first university side to win a fumble was recovered in the Challenge Cup match when LUU: R Armitage, W Wright, J Nationwide League midfield, and Armitage was Limb, N Rayer, D Ogilvie, M Division Three they beat Hemel Hempsted in League. If successful, they will successful with his kick. look to reproduce their cup Pennington, D McCormack, E Brighton v Doncaster the First Round and narrowly ut Warrington rallied Wright then got on the Lorimar, G Sarjeant, N missed out on a clash with form, having beaten Bradford, magnificently to level Cardiff v scoresheet with a darting try on Diamond, R Simons, C Rigg, J • Colchester v Northampton professional outfit Workington LMUSU and Cardiff en route B things by the break. A the back of quick work from the Moran, Subs: M Collins, M when they lost 26-24 to to the final - three current top­ loose ball on the left was Amos, D Penney, S Robinson v back line. Fulham v Hull amateur giants Thatto Heath in flight teams. Several hundred recovered by Iain Hannon at Warrington managed to pull a thrilling match at . WCI: I Hannon, A Wickman Hartlepool v Barnet supporters who had made the full-back, play was rapidly one back through a well- A Barker, W Farr, P Pitter, E Knowing then, what it’s like short journey up the M6 from switched across the park and Leyton Orient v Hereford worked try from the impressive Bannon, L Bailey, A Penny, C Mansfield v to lose out on the big occasions, Warrington were confident of Andy Potter cut in from the Hannon which Bannon Evans, A Jude, S Norman, A Leeds faced up to the challenge adding a fourth name to that wing to touch down in the Doughty, P Mahoney, R Smith, Rochdale v Cambridge converted in off the post. Scarborough v Lincoln of this match in determined list, but right from the kick-off comer. Chris Evans missed a Four minutes from time, Subs: J Clare, A Smith, M mood. Being in awe of their LUU stamped their authority tricky kick but quickly made Morrison, T Bancroft Scunthorpe v Swansea substitute Si Robinson sealed Torquay v Wigan (12.15) opponents was never an option on the game and dictated the amends with a well-struck victory for Leeds with a tty set anyway since the two sides had early exchanges in an penalty IS yards out and a up by Wright’s powerful run. never met before this match. impressive first 20 minutes. conversion two minutes from LUU WCI “I know absolutely nothing Leeds half-time after a rather fortunate here was just enough time Tries Sarjeant (2) Potter about Warrington,” confessed skipper Neil Rayer missed an try. for a further score, Simons Smith honest coach Mel Wibberly ambitious 40 yard penalty in An attempted kick into the McCormack dropping a Diamond Hannon before the game, “apart from the fourth minute and comer struck a Leeds shirt and T goal from front and centre Wright the fact that they have beaten Warrington swiftly countered ballooned back into the grateful before the final whistle and Robinson M'O'Thtfdl, some good sides in their cup with a sweeping move that grasp of charging substitute scenes of jubilation for LUU. I Goals Armitage (4) Evans (3) run along with some very second row Andy Doughty Richard Smith who bundled the He was quick to praise ordinary league results.” fumbled on the line, but it was ball over the line. Warrington after receiving the No. 35: Truly Bulnar Coupled with the match-up the Yorkshire side who put the With the scores tied at the DG McCormack Bannon By Chris Leadbeater On the night when Graham Taylor’s foul long ball game punted its last hopeful punt, an even bigger shock took place in Paris. France also decided that they ‘couldn’t be arsed with a summer Ins and outs for cricketers in America either. No, honest...” ICTORY was The final against Cardiff lived Wayward bowling and sloppy Their failure was truly agonisingly snatched up to pre-match expectations, and fielding handed the next game to astonishing. Needing only a point from LUU’s hands in LUU looked to have done enough Manchester who posted an from their last two home games Vthe National Indoor Cricket to win the title. But in a thrilling imposing total of 212 for 6. LUU against Israel and Bulgaria, the finale Cardiff scrambled a victory got off to a great start in reply, French contrived to let the Israelis finals. Cardiff won the with only one ball of the final over thanks to a fine 62 from Rich score twice in the last five BUSA trophy with the remaining. Stephenson. But after losing two minutes for a 3-2 win, leaving penultimate ball of the final, Meanwhile the early season wickets in two balls the pressure them with the tricky Bulgaria after LUU had clocked up a Christie Cup fixtures saw mixed mounted and LUU fell some way game. respectable 118. success for LUU’s cricket teams. short of the target, being bowled Cantona put them ahead but Salford were their first The first team beat Liverpool, but out for 137. then les bleus let Emil victims,and inspired by excellent suffered a defeat at the hands of The second team were more Kostadinov score twice, the spells of bowling from Ed Griffin old rivals Manchester. successful, continuing last second being a top comer and skipper Sam Clulow the Chasing 130 to win against season’s fine form with two screamer in injury time to send opposition were skittled out for Liverpool, Leeds made a good comfortable victories. Dan Lee Bulgaria to America. Eric only 73. start but then lost three quick and Tom Barwick both notched returned to Manchester and took A decisive, unbeaten 36 by wickets and fell behind the asking up centuries on their debuts in the out his frustrations on the Rob Shah and another brilliant rate. But a great unbeaten 42 from victory over Liverpool. Mike Premiership. Still, the seagulls fielding performance swung the Ali McLeod-Smith supported by Harrison took 6 for 36 in a keenly behind the trawler laughed their game Leeds’ way in the second Griffin’s 30 was enough to see fought victory over Manchester. feathery arses off when they qualifier against Oxford. Leeds home. ON FORM: LUU are hoping for great things this coming season heard that result. 47 Union jump in to save Met keep-fit from the axe

Special Report By Alex Gubbay UNION officials at LMU are dipping into their own coffers to re­ open a sports facility controversially closed six months ago by the university’s sports department. They will shell out almost £1,000 of their own money in order to continue the aerobic and step fitness classes that the university shut down Im last October on health and safety grounds. Insurance By employing the instructors themselves, LMUSU will be able to provide liability insurance in tbe face of claims by the First BUSA triumph university that the skytrekker students’ union gymnasium surface was U .l Airpass for Students £ Young Traw fltn unsuitable for the classes and there was too high a for vollevhall champs risk of serious injury. Plan your skytrek “The university simply WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL But the TASC Beavers were to a tense, deciding fifth set. overruled the health and around the U.K unable to build on their early TASC 3 - 2 C’CESTER Superb play from Yamada, safety investigation that we for less than £30* success, despite good work from Ashton and Morris took them carried out ourselves last per flight! By Zoe Feller Sharon Morris and captain Carol into the change of ends in the year,” explained Simon Story.They struggled to keep up stronger position. But the Caffrey, President of A STUNNING and looked unconvincing, visitors would not give up and LMUSU. flig h ts Chichester eventually taking the came back to within one point, “After carefully analysing fightback from the set 15-7. (m in im u m ) setting up a nervous last few the surface and the likelihood women’s volleyball Even the introduction of the moments. o f injury, we considered the £89 team won the first ever promising Emma Bulge was not A concerted final effort from facility to be safe. Sample R o u te s enough to prevent the loss of the TASC, however, won them the BUSA trophy for “You have to remember flights third set last set, the match and the BUSA that in more than 10 years, we Trinity and All Saints Plate. Coach Devine was have only had three or four £139 College. Crucial delighted with his team’s victory. minor injuries, sprained The fourth set became a “It was a cracking ankles at worst.” A gripping final saw the performance, and the girls were crucial one that the home side Leeds team take the first outstanding. They really hav - flights could not lose, and coach David Resumption done good?” set, but then slip back Devine made some quick k O £189 Club chairman Wilson The university’s sports against a talented changes in an attempt to halt his echoed his sentiments, adding department refused to Skytrekker Atrpasses are available from team’s slide. Chichester side before jokingly: comment on the resumption Campus Travel, YHA Adventure Shop. The tactics worked and storming back to take the “Being Scottish I’m not o f classes which will begin 117-121 Vicar Lane, Leeds LSI 6PJ TASC seemed far more positive really used to winning anything, next Monday at 12pm in the 0113 246 tfSS and fourth and final sets. and confident with the ball. so it came as quite a surprise to -MUSU health and fitness Ultra Travel, University of Leeds, Union Building, Georgina Ashton’s Sandrine Fuentes and Clare me. s lite. PO Box 157, Leeds LSI 1UH powerful spiking off Yumiko Wilson were the main reasons 0113 231 4213 “But I had no doubt in my All sports pass holders will Yamada’s setting helped win for earning TASC a comfortable be allowed free access as part the first set 15-10. set win and the match was forced mind that we were capable of something like this.” of the university’s normal service, but classes will be [TOTAL FOOTBALL: WAS IT A HAPPY EASTER? - page 20 rest) cted to a maximum of 50 students. Z~~~l