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Ep #39: Friday Coach Like Full Episode Ep #39: Friday Coach Like Full Episode Transcript With Your Host Brooke Castillo The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo Welcome to The Life Coach School podcast where it's all about real clients, real problems and real coaching. Now, your host, master coach instructor, Brooke Castillo. Hi everyone. Welcome to 2015. You may be listening to this in 2016 because once you put a podcast out there, it's out there forever. For those of you who listen to this real time, every Thursday, some of you have told me that you're always excited to get the next episode on Thursday so for those of you who have been waiting for this episode welcome to 2015. I am thrilled that we are starting a brand new year. I love a fresh start, new goals, new excitement and that's totally where I am. I think 2015 is going to be epic. I have decided to do something a little bit different with this episode because it's the first time I'm recording in 2015. One of the things that I do for everybody who's on my list is I send out an email every Friday called, "Friday Coach Like," and it's basically just a little summary of a coaching idea or of a thought. Or of a concept and it's just a little snack. A little bite-size morsel. Sometimes it's about something that's going on at the school but most of the time it's just a little bit of insight for you to take throughout your week into your weekend. What I've decided to do is go through and read some of the 2014 Friday Coach Likes. You have them in one place and you have them, a lot of people have told me that you like having the audio version and that you listen to this many times over and so I want to share those with you. A lot of you loved me reading some of my blog posts and you thought that was great and so I want to offer this as another way to take the concepts in. I know many of you are already on my list and you may have already read these but hearing them a second time in a different way may be even more powerful. If you're not on my list...What the heck is happening? You need to get on there right away. Go to thelifecoashschool.com and it says, "Join the List," right on the front. You just put your email address and then The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo you, too, will be getting an email from me every Friday. You never know what time on Friday but you will get it every single Friday. Let's get started. Number one. Instant results are awesome. Winning the lottery? Super fun. Meeting the love of your life and knowing it? Brilliant. Opening a present and it being just what you wanted? Magic. Hard work that takes a while is also awesome. I have a weight loss client that took a year to lose fifty pounds. An average of one pound a week is slow when you are used to instant results. Now she's done and she's very proud. Eating less, moving more and figuring out why you overeat works. Period. But it's not instant. As coaches it is our job to help our clients stay with themselves long enough to get the result they want. Instant results are easy. Quitting is easy. Neither will ever make you proud. Attention. Our attention is sacred. What we pay attention to is what triggers our thinking and creates our emotions. If we pay attention to what we don't want we feel icky and we get more of it. Often we let our attention get stolen away from what matters. If I want to focus on my dreams and goals I have to consciously direct my attentions there. If I want to feel abundant I need to focus my attention on what I want that I already have. In all the world I can control very little but my attention is something I have full control over. So do you. So do your clients. What deserves your attention? What doesn't? One of the most heartbreaking things is when I coach a client who has stopped wanting. As kids we want like crazy. We want everything. For some, wanting becomes painful as we get older and so they stop wanting. They start ignoring their wants and therefore, themselves. They have lost the magic of following desire. One of the first and best questions to ask your clients is what they want. See how they feel about what they want. See if they even know. Start there. The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo Because what they want matters. A lot. Whatever you want you must believe in it relentlessly. Relentlessly. One of the most exciting parts of being a coach is showing clients how powerful their thoughts are. Most clients will come to you having no idea why they felt the way they do. They won't understand why they aren't getting the results they want. I teach my clients to metaphorically take the thought which is just a sentence out of their mind and hold it in their hand. The thought, "I'm not good enough," is harmless when we look at it objectively. It's when we aren't aware we're thinking a thought that it causes pain. It's when we believe a thought that it affects our results. When we look at single thought with curiosity and wonder not judgement, it can create intimacy and self-knowledge. Look into your mind and pull out a thought. Hold it as a sentence in your hand. Gently. There's no such thing as a rough day or a hard day, or a bad day. There are only days when we have crappy thoughts and days when we have amazing thoughts. I can describe the exact same day in two different ways. One would make it a great day. The other would make it not so great. When we act like our days happen to us or like we are the victim of a day we lose all of our power. You can decide at the beginning of the day that it's a good day and you can make many decisions during the day to make it so. What happens in the day does not determine how I feel. I do. And today I feel great. It's a great day. That was a decision. People tell me they want things all the time. They want a thriving practice. I want an amazing relationship. I want a thin body. But they don't. If they really wanted those things they would prove it to themselves. They would do everything they could do to get it. The truth is they kind of want it. They hope they get it. They aren't committed. If you really want something give it to yourself. Get it for The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo yourself. Don't let anything stand in your way, then look at yourself and say, "I got this for you." Sometimes poisonous thoughts seem very innocent. They sound pretty and lovely but if you pay close attention you'll see they cause negative emotion. One such thought is, "I already know that." I noticed this for myself when I was taking a class, recently. I was tuning out and distracting myself from what was being taught because I was thinking, "I already know that." That little thought cost me. Wait, what? What did I miss? I didn't fully learn what I was being taught. My friends in the class started using what they were learning and getting great results. Wait, what? What did I miss? I could have known if I'd been paying attention. You can tell the effect a thought is going to have by how it feels. "I already know that," created a feeling of apathy and indifference. Not ideal feelings for me. Keep an eye out for these types of thoughts and make sure you're choosing what you want to think consciously. When I am coaching new clients they all seem to have one thing in common. They're in a hurry. As soon as we discover a thought feeling pattern they want to change it immediately. Ew, how can I feel better now? I always want to slow them down. All feelings can be felt and the more we feel them the better. First because when you truly feel a feeling without resisting it it doesn't last very long. Second, when you know you can feel any feeling without added suffering you aren't so afraid. Usually the worst that can happen is a feeling and if you know you're capable of feeling it the risk doesn't seem so terrifying. I can and am willing to feel humiliation, terror and even jealousy. It's just a vibration in my body. Don't be in such a hurry to get away from your feelings. Find what they have to offer. I'm currently in Napa Valley California with a group of Life Coach School, certified coaches. We are working on classes and offerings The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo for the next year. My favorite question to ask about everything we do is, "How can we make it even better?" It's a great question for business but it's also great for daily life.
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