Sexual Identity and Lesbian Family Life

Gender, Sexualities and Culture in Asia

Series Editors Stevi Jackson Centre for Women’s Studies University of York York, United Kingdom

Olivia Khoo School of Media, Film and Journalism Monash University Melbourne, Australia

Denise Tse-Shang Tang Department of Sociology The University of Hong Kong, Hong Kong The Gender, Sexualities and Culture in Asia book series provides a wel- come new forum for monographs and anthologies focussing on the inter- sections between gender, sexuality and culture across Asia. Titles in the series include multi- and interdisciplinary research by scholars within Asia as well as in North American, European and Australian academic contexts. The series provides a distinctive space for the exploration of topics of growing academic concern, from non-normative cultures of sexuality in Asia, to studies of gendered identities cross the region. The series will expand the ﬁeld of Asian genders and sexualities by applying a cultural lens to current debates, including rural lives, migration patterns, religion, transgender identities, sex industry and family.

More information about this series at http://www.springer.com/series/15191 Iris Erh-Ya Pai Sexual Identity and Lesbian Family Life

Lesbianism, Patriarchalism and the Asian Family in Taiwan Iris Erh-Ya Pai York, United Kingdom

Gender, Sexualities and Culture in Asia ISBN 978-981-10-4004-7 ISBN 978-981-10-4005-4 (eBook) DOI 10.1007/978-981-10-4005-4

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017939142

© The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s) 2017 This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the Publisher, whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical way, and transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed. The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use. The publisher, the authors and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the authors or the editors give a warranty, express or implied, with respect to the material contained herein or for any errors or omissions that may have been made. The publisher remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institu- tional affiliations.

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This Palgrave Macmillan imprint is published by Springer Nature The registered company is Springer Nature Singapore Pte Ltd. The registered company address is: 152 Beach Road, #21-01/04 Gateway East, Singapore 189721, Singapore To Mama, Papa and Eunice PREFACE

In November 2016 Taiwanese LGBT people had never been so close to marriage equality under the law. The way this was being addressed was through amending Civil Code #972 to give non-heterosexual partners legal status as a spouse; a bill that would make Taiwan the first Asian country to legalise same-sex marriage. On 8 November the first reading of three draft amendments, proposed by the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP), the Kuomintang (KMT) and the New Power Party (NPP), were passed in the Legislative Yuan. Later, on 17 November, anti-marriage equality demonstrators, mostly Christians, dressed in white and gathered outside the Legislative Yuan, while inside the Judiciary and Organic Laws and Statutes Committee reviewed the proposals before a second and third reading. In the end, the further progress of the bill was stalled, with physical clashes breaking out within the Legislative Yuan between the DPP and the KMT. They finally agreed that two public hearings would be held on 24 (by KMT) and 28 (by DPP) November. Opponents from KMT originally demanded thirty hearings, before this was negotiated down to two. Holding public hearings is seen as a way to vent public anger from anti-marriage equality demonstrators. The ruling DPP, which controls Taiwan’s parliament and took power in 2016, was considered to be more LGBT-friendly than the KMT. In particular, president Tsai Ing-Wen had made campaign promises to realise marriage equality. There were some strong anti-gay elements in the DPP, however, who stalled the Civil Code amendments and turned to support- ing civil partnerships or nothing. Now it was time to see whether Tsai and her party would keep her promise or not.

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The anti-LGBT demonstrations spread false rumours and twisted the facts of the bill once Taiwan started to debate marriage equality. The opponents’ argument against legalising same-sex marriage was that such a move would lead to Taiwan becoming an ‘island of AIDS’, somehow harming the children of heterosexual couples by steering them towards sexual perversion, or otherwise offend God. In an anti-marriage equality protest on 3 December, seven LGBT activists were hurt when they showed up with rainbow flags. What worries me most is the hate speech and homophobic sentiments against LGBT sexuality and lifestyle choices. The uniform idea ‘only wife and husband, one mother and one father can form a family’ has made ‘family’ lose its colour and diversity. The existence of non-heterosexual families, lesbian families in this book, is a solid fact that proves them wrong. Protests against same-sex marriage outside the Legislative Yuan took place in November and early December and I believed there would be more during the process of legalising marriage equality. To show that they far outnumbered anti-marriage equality demonstrators, pro-marriage equality groups organised a demonstration on 28 November and mobi- lised about 30,000 participants on a weekday with little notice. It is believed it was the first large assembly on LGBT matters, if the annual LGBT pride parades are not counted. The next event for pro-marriage equality was a music festival, which took place at Ketagalan Boulevard on 10 December to coincide with World Human Rights Day. This event gathered up to 250,000 supporters and everyone hoped for the best as the Legislative Yuan had marked 26 December as the next date for reviewing the amendments. However, the future of marriage equality in Taiwan remains to be seen. Back in 2003 there were only 500 participants in the first Taiwan LGBT pride. On 29 October 2016 over 80,000 took to the street to call for marriage equality. I have been on marches for LGBT rights many times. Walking in the parades, I am always touched by LGBT people and their bravery. Each face represents a choice of lifestyle and family. They all have stories behind them. The unconventional lifestyle choices of the marchers motivated them to speak up. I started thinking about their stories, I mean, our stories. I realised that my story would contribute to the picture one day. Empirical study is one of the methods that can be used to approach these stories and I decided this might be a good starting place for me. So, I sought to talk to the lesbian couples around me. This way of gathering information led to my choice of a qualitative methodology and PREFACE ix in-depth interviews as my research method. I wished to collect lesbian life stories to illustrate their ways of making their own families. The aim was to document detailed narratives of lesbians in my generation; thus this study does not constitute a representative sample of the population. These methods are discussed in greater depth in Chapter 3. Before the analysis can begin, however, it is necessary to expand on the relevant literature. Besides Asian authors, I consulted western studies and found something ‘different’. The differences reflected specific cultural and social contexts. In the first chapter, through literature on social change in Taiwan and women’s stories in my own family, I present a picture to situate myself and to consider accounts of how women’s lives and family relationships have been changing, which help to explain women’s life experiences in Taiwan. Chapter 2 contextualises my research within western discussions and debates on same-sex intimacy. Chapter 3 concentrates on the analysis of interviews I conducted with 15 lesbian couples, sepa- rately and jointly. In Chapter 4 I discuss stories about the realisation of same-sex attraction and formations of lesbian identity, with data mostly from individual interviews. Chapter 5 deals with these women coming out and their relationships with their families of origin. I also explore their relationships with their partners’ families of origin and develop a new perspective on relationships outside the patriarchal family. Chapter 6 focuses on my participants’ relationship histories and their making of commitments, with data from both couple and individual interviews. Finally, in Chapter 7, I discuss these couples’ views on egalitarian relationships and how this may be reflected in their daily interactions. This research would not have been possible without these women’s support and knowledge, so firstly I would like to express my appreciation to all the women who participated in this research for their generosity in sharing stories. I also owe many thanks to my PhD supervisor, Stevi Jackson from the Centre for Women’s Studies at The University of York. My grateful thanks are also extended to women in my family and in my life. CONTENTS

1 Women in Taiwanese Families: A Personal History 1 Taiwanese Marriage and Family: The Past 1 Social Change in Taiwan (1970s-1990s) 10 Single Women and Lesbians in Taiwanese Families:The Present 30 References 42

2 Western Theories on Same-Sex Intimacies 45 Same-Sex Intimacies 46 Lesbian/Gay Normalisation and Egalitarian Lesbian Relationships 58 References 71

3 Methodology 73 Contacting Interviewees 74 Characteristics of Interviewees 79 Interviewing 83 Analysis of Data 94 Reﬂection on the Process 98 References 99

4 Individual Sexual Stories 101 Becoming a Lesbian 102 Lesbian Identity and Sexual Roles 124

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Conclusion 144 References 145

5 Lesbian Daughters in Their Families 147 Coming Out 148 Lesbian Daughters and Patriarchalism 156 Partners’ Families of Origin 166 Conclusion 174 References 175

6 Relationships Over Time 177 This Is How the Story Started ... 178 Tensions and Conﬂicts in Relationships 183 Commitment and Forms of Commitment 195 Conclusion 209 References 210

7 Egalitarian Lesbian Relationships? 211 Living Arrangements 211 Financial Arrangements 227 Division of Household Labour 244 Conclusion 261 References 262

8 Conclusion 265 References 274

Appendix Comparison in education between interviewees and parents 277

Glossary 279

Index 283 LIST OF FIGURES

Fig. 3.1 Recruitment network 76 Fig. 3.2 Interviewing locations 88

xiii LIST OF TABLES

Table 3.1 Snapshot of interviewees 81 Table 3.2 Couple interview questions 85 Table 3.3 Individual interview questions 86 Table 5.1 Disclosure to families of origin 150 Table 7.1 Cohabitation 213 Table 7.2 Financial arrangements 228

xv NOTE ON ROMANISATION

All the non-English phrases in this book are Mandarin Chinese unless otherwise stated. It uses the Hanyu Pinyin system of romanisation for Mandarin Chinese words and phrases, except when a different conven- tional or preferred spelling exists. All Mandarin authors’ surnames precede their first names. Whenever romanisation is used the first time, it is followed by Mandarin characters and an English translation in brackets, while specific terms will be in quotation marks; for example, Eu Yu Shou Chi (鱷魚手記, Notes of the Crocodile). All Mandarin Chinese characters cited in their romanised forms are listed in the Glossary.

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