NOVEMBER 2009 Volume 25, Issue 10 for WOMEN on the GO

Changing the Universe through women’s Stories ROSEMARy GUTTORMSSON ROSEMARy

Privilege, power Born Gender and the Talk, talk, talk ... and gym clothes powerful digital divide and listen

NOVEMBER 2009 Volume 25, Issue 10 www.womenspress.com FOR WOMEN ON THE GO.

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WOMEN’S HEALTH MATTERS Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 3

Changing the Universe through Women’s Stories 24 contactus 651-646-3968 • Fax: 651-646-2186 email: [email protected] www.womenspress.com send a letter to the editor [email protected] subscribe [email protected] advertise [email protected] suggest a story idea [email protected] send a calendar listing [email protected] 10 Join book activities [email protected] mWPstaFF 8 goseedo Publishers/editors coveRARTIST ...... 20 Kathy Magnuson, Norma Smith Olson Go with the [watercolor] flow contributors Jeanne Bain, Ginny Belden- Charles, Tami Mohamed Brown, eventsCALENDAR ...... 24 Delma Francis, Bernice Koehler Johnson, Michele St. Martin, Anne Noonan, FeatuRes “Women at War” and more Kathryn O’Connell, Verna Cornelia Price, thinKABOUTit ...... 6 Rebecca Surmont, Sun Yung Shin, Dear David Letterman: ReadeRs’WRite Mary Warpeha cover artist Rosemary Guttormsson youSAID ...... 5 educationFEATURE ...... 8 design Norma Smith Olson Got an opinion? advertising sales Susan Feehan, Michele Talk, talk, talk ... and listen Holzwarth,Jenny Offt, Kathy Magnuson youRTHOUGHTS ...... 5 PRoFILE ...... 10 accounting Kathy Malchow Rituals of Thanksgiving operations Faye Kommedahl, Kari Larson Privilege, power and gym clothes Founding Publishers Mollie Hoben, BooKSHELF ...... 13 Glenda Martin BooKTALK ...... 12 Compassionate adventurer Our mission is to tell women’s stories in Heated “Twilight” discussion ways that create community and encourage laughingMATTERS ...... 23 change. educationFEATURE ...... 14 Seamless bras are underrated Advertising is accepted at the discretion Gender and the digital divide of the publisher. Acceptance does not necessarily imply endorsement. Views expressed youRSTORY...... 27 are those of the writers or artists and do not WoRdsANDPictuRes ...... 16 necessarily reflect The Minnesota Women’s “She Just Wants” Stand up and say it Press policy or editorial stance. The Minnesota Women’s Press is distrib- onYOURmind ...... 30 uted free at more than 500 locations. To find columnists I don’t believe in bad luck one near you, visit www.womenspress.com and click “get a copy” or call 651-646-3968. WelcomeWORDS ...... 4 Subscriptions are available by First Class youRSTORY...... 32 We hear you mail: $52 for one-year Fan Community A running farewell membership (includes email updates, invitation to community gathering, free copy of sheSAID ...... 26 BookWomen magazine); $28 for a basic one- My own mini-disaster year subscription, $53 for two years. adveRtisingsections Printed on recycled paper at ECM, leadeRVOICE ...... 28 giRlFRiends’ a certified green printer. Please recycle. GUIDEtoGIVING ....18 ©2009 by Minnesota Women’s Press Inc. You were born powerful All rights reserved. ISSN #1085-2603. holiday GUIDE ...... 21 MINNESOTA WOMEN’S PRESS INC., actNOW ...... 38 771 RAYMOND AVE., ST. PAUL, MN 55114 Listen up classiFiedADS.. 35 4 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 WelcomeWoRds youRthoughts noRmasmitholson Rituals of thanksgiving Kathymagnuson Each month in the Women’s Press we ask for your thoughts on a topic. For November we asked the question: What have getting to know you you learned from Thanksgiving rituals? Here are thoughts The circle of women on the cover are getting to know each other, embark- from two MWP readers: ing on a shared journey to Iceland. Women sharing their stories in a circle. anjali’s turn Talking and listening. Over the last months, as we’ve listened to the national conversation about health care, we’ve been thinking about how we talk with each other, as individuals, as a nation, as a world. Power and talk. We’ve been asking questions about what effective communication is. How do you talk so people will listen? How do you listen to really be able to hear what others are saying? Many of the stories in this November issue of Minnesota Women’s Press get at answering these questions about communication. Ginny Belden- Charles writes about the practice of dialogue and why it matters. Kari Xiong coming up: asks tough questions about power and privilege and speaks to how we In December it’s our annual communicate through the layers of cultural differences. Mary Kirk writes Changemakers issue! about the gender divide in the world of information technology, illuminating What do you dream of changing elements of power and communication. In her ActNow for women or girls? Thanks to our readers column, Kathy explores the power in listening. Tell us. Send us a paragraph for giving us input Earlier this fall was our time to listen to you. Every or two. Deadline: Nov. 10. two years we conduct an extensive readers’ survey to Send to [email protected]. this fall in our readers’ learn about who YOU are and what you are thinking. December targeted guide: survey. Julie Weaver Thank you to everyone who participated in our survey! Holiday Guide. is the winner of the Your answers help shape our directions. Advertising deadline: Nov. 10. go with the flow gift certificate to Some of the things we saw in the survey: You are a group of smart and active women. You are involved in In January we’ll be writing the advertiser of her many causes and contribute your time and dollars to about women and humor. choice—the Animal issues you believe in. You’re politically active—96 per- Tell us something funny. Humane Society. cent of you voted in the last election. You are lifelong What makes you laugh? learners. Two-thirds of you are enrolled in a class of Send us a paragraph or two. She’s looking some kind at any given time. Over 3/4 of you have col- Deadline: Dec. 10. Send to forward to a new cat lege degrees, 1/3 have advanced degrees. In your spare [email protected]. companion in her life. time you love to read (big surprise!), be creative with January targeted guides: art or craft, travel, cook and work out. Your family and Education Guide and friends are important to you. You live all over the metro area. You are just as Camp and Activity Guide. likely to live in the suburbs as in St. Paul or Minneapolis. You are a range of Advertising deadline: Dec. 10. ages—from high school age to senior citizens. Over half of you have been reading MWP for over 10 years, and 64 percent refer our advertisers to others. (It’s advertising that makes this publication possible.) Thanks for your loyalty and support! Many of you think of MWP as YOUR publication. And you’re opinionated about it! You told us things like, “Your publication affirms and empowers women of all ages.” And, “the Women’s Press has always been my friend.” You also encouraged us to push more buttons and to make more noise. We hear you. We are practicing those listening skills. and Co-Publishers Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 5 WelcomeWoRds youRthoughts yousaid noRmasmitholson Rituals of thanksgiving great column! Kathymagnuson Each month in the Women’s Press we ask for your thoughts I’d add a book to the shelf [BookShelf, Get to Work!, 9/09 on a topic. For November we asked the question: What have MWP] that’s just out this October: “This is Not How I Thought you learned from Thanksgiving rituals? Here are thoughts It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood, To Get The Lives We from two MWP readers: Want Today,” by Kristin Maschka. It’s well researched, well written, and very timely. anjali’s turn Monica Gallagher, Lauderdale, Minn. My biggest lesson has been the power of sharing my grati- gotanoPinion? tude publicly with loved ones. Write to editor@womens press.com or send to 771 Raymond For the past few years, I have had the pleasure and honor Ave., St. Paul, MN 55114. Include your name, address and of celebrating Thanksgiving with both my husband’s and phone number for verification. Letters are assumed to be for my sides of the family. Before the feast begins, we share publication and may be edited for length and clarity. with one another our prayers of gratitude. In 2007, after my husband shared his prayers of thankgsiving, I thought it was my chance to respond. What I didn’t know was that our Coaching Makes a Mastel’s 10-month-old daughter, who was between us, actually was Difference! planning to share her prayers too. When I started to speak, coming up: Experience Health Foods she interrupted me with a few babbles and the entire group how coaching 10% Off Your In December it’s our annual erupted with laughter. My mom said, “It’s Anjali’s turn to expands your personal and Changemakers issue! speak.” And Anjali did and she shared, in her own language professional potential. Entire Order of sounds, her prayers of gratitude. Our coaching classes and certifications (Juicers, special offers What do you dream of changing provide innovative tools and techniques to Communal prayer is especially powerful in this context and any sale items for women or girls? generate positive lasting change for you and not included) because I shared what I am thankful for with my family and others. (CEUs and College Credit Available) Tell us. Send us a paragraph One coupon per customer I also learned about the cherished blessings in their lives. It Call us today to learn more. or two. Deadline: Nov. 10. has a beautiful multiplying effect and creates a broader and Learning Journeys Expires 11/30/09 Send to [email protected]. deeper sense of gratitude. International Center of Coaching 1526 St. Clair Ave., St. Paul December targeted guide: 651.402.2975 (2 blocks E. of Snelling) Many thanks. www.learningjourneys.net Holiday Guide. Piyali Nath Dalal, Minneapolis 651-690-1692 Advertising deadline: Nov. 10. go with the flow Free Lymphoma Workshop In January we’ll be writing Thanksgiving rituals have not changed. Most folks like for Patients, Survivors & Loved Ones about women and humor. a bite of turkey and the swarm of good company on the Loved Ones

Tell us something funny. infamous holiday. What makes you laugh? What has changed is how the rituals are celebrated. Our society is transient. Many loved ones are separated by Send us a paragraph or two. distance necessitating celebrating Thanksgiving with friends Deadline: Dec. 10. Send to instead of family. Sometimes the celebrating is done at a [email protected]. restaurant, unheard of in grandma’s day. MINNESOTA CHAPTER January targeted guides: My son, who lives in New York, would every year ﬁght Education Guide and the crowded insanity of LaGuardia airport to come home to We are collaborating with Camp and Activity Guide. Minnesota for Thanksgiving. It was his priority. He would Advertising deadline: Dec. 10. arrive stressed and exhausted. Finally, I said, “Please, don’t come home for Thanksgiving as long as you live in New York. I will miss you, but it has become a ridiculous situ- ation. Things have changed now that you are in the work world. Your vacation days are few and you need them to rest and experience new adventures. You need your time. It Sat., Nov. 14, 2009, 7:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. is my gift to you—a guilt-free relaxing holiday. But, please Hilton Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport call—no email.” I heard a sigh of relief at the end of the Mall of America Hotel phone line. 3800 American Boulevard East What I have learned from Thanksgiving rituals is that Bloomington, MN 55425 sometimes a tradition must endure interruptions due to Continental Breakfast and Lunch will be provided changing times and circumstances. One must go with the ﬂow, be sensible and let go without complaining and casting Register Today! guilt. Call 800-500-9976 Gwen Schock Cowherd, White Bear Lake Email: [email protected] www.lymphoma.org/MNworkshop2009 6 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 thinKaBoutit thinKaBoutitmore dear david letterman: iranian women receive courage award “If nightly adoration and huge paychecks aren’t enough for you, try sweat yoga or cold showers. Ask yourself: If you were just Joe Schmo and not in a position of power, would this woman be interested in you? Above all, ask yourself: If the staffer were my daughter, how would I want her boss to behave?” —Ellen Bravo, national expert on sexual harassment prevention and former director of 9to5, National Association of Working Women Source: womensmediacenter.com

you go, europe! Germany’s most popular women’s magazine, Brigitte, has decided to ban professional models from its pages in an effort to combat unrealistic social beauty standards. Editor- in-Chief Andreas Lebert said, “We will show women who have an identity—the 18-year-old student, the head of the board, the musician, the football player.” He said the move is a response to readers increasingly saying they are tired of seeing “protruding bones” from models who weigh far less than the average woman. mothers in mourning Source: www.reuters.com Meanwhile, in England, a UK size 12 model (size 6-8 U.S.), and two Mothers in Iran rally together in silent other “curvy” women appeared alongside stick-ﬁgure models in Mark public protest each Saturday evening Fast’s London Fashion Week show. Amanda May, Fast’s creative director, ‘don’t ask’ affects in Tehran’s Laleh Park. The Mourning said the designer ‘‘’wanted women to know they didn’t have to be a size women more Mothers of Iran, known locally as the than men zero to wear a Mark Mothers of Laleh, have become spokes- Fast dress.’’ Fast is women for human rights causes around also involved in the world. All Walks Beyond Like the Women in Black movement, The Catwalk, an which began in Jerusalem in 1988, and the initiative that uses Madres de la Plaza de Mayo in Argentina, models up to size the Iranian mothers use nonviolence to 16 and age 65. bring attention to the atrocities of their dead children, murdered in political wars. Source: “I urge all women to show their solidar- www.bust.com www.feministing.com ity with the Committee of Iranian Mothers in Mourning by assembling in parks, in Mark Fast their respective countries, every Saturday plus-sized between the hours of 7 to 8 p.m., wearing models black,” said Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Shirin Ebadi at an Iran pro-democracy rally this summer. Source: www.wunrn.com Source: www.twincities.com 

Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 7

 Be a Certified thinKaBoutit thinKaBoutitmore   Executive or iranian women receive   Life Coach courage award  Opportunity  A group of Iranian women risking imprisonment  offered in was given a courage award in London by Reach All  Minneapolis Women (RAW) in War, a human rights group that   Dec 12 & 13 focuses on stopping violence against women in war  situations.  Call Master Coach The award was presented to the women of the   Cathy at 843-209-2641 One Million Signatures campaign, launched in 2006  Messages 866-455-2155 in Iran. They aim to collect 1 million signatures to peti-   CertifiedCoachesFederation.com tion the Iranian parliament for revision and reform of current laws, which discriminate against women. The annual prize is given in memory of Russian journalist, Anna Politkovskaya, who was murdered in Moscow in 2006. did you know? “We gave them the award because they are an extremely The Nobel Peace Prize brave and courageous group committee was made of women and they are really up of four female and changing the society in Iran, which is extremely difficult,” one male Norwegian said RAW in War founder politicians. Maybe ADLER GRADUATE SCHOOL Mariana Katzarova. “They the women saw the live a life of courage in the A “Practical psychology, inspiring change.” value in President face of grave danger, just as Obama’s style of Anna did.” politics—dialog, Source: www.reuters.com collaboration and inclusion—compared ‘don’t ask’ affects to the stand-alone women more policies of the previous than men U.S. administration? Women are far more likely Source: www.twincities.com than men to be discharged from the military under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy Therapy. Coaching. Consulting. affecting gays. Women were 15 percent of all active- School Counseling Licensure. duty and reserve members of the military overall, but more than 33 percent of the 619 people discharged last Master’s Programs and Certificate year because of their sexual orientation. The disparity was especially striking in the Air Force, where women Tracks designed for working adults. represented 20 percent of all personnel but 61 percent Founded on the holistic principles of those expelled. Explanations for the gap, according to Nathaniel of Adlerian psychology. Frank, a researcher in this field, could be “lesbian bait- ing” rumors, or investigations that arise when women rebuff sexual advances from male colleagues or do not Located at Cedar & 494 in Richfield meet traditional notions of beauty. Phone: 612.861.7554 Source: www.twincities.com Email: [email protected] www.alfredadler.edu 8 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 educationFeatuRe

The 3 Ds: debate, discussion, dialogue As words swirl around health care, how do we effectively talk to each other, as individuals, as a nation? by Ginny Belden-Charles Fights recently broke out at several town-hall meetings on health-care reform, one-minute partisan speeches began each legislative day, and a congressman called the president a “liar” at a televised presi- dential address. As Americans, we don’t just disagree, we are polarized. We’re not listening to each other. Part of the confusion is that we have no common deﬁnition for how we talk about our differences. Public “debate,” “discussion” and “dialogue” are used interchangeably when they mean very different things.

3d definition each person equal opportunity to speak. listen and speak respectfully. Advice giv- Take debate. Remember the presiden- Instead of speaking for others, people are ing is not allowed in dialogue because tial candidate debates at election time? All encouraged to speak to their own experi- it shifts the group into problem solving, candidates presented their case and did ence, to speak into the center of the group explaining, justifying and defending. their best to poke holes in the opponents’ and to speak from the heart. When a com- None of these create a climate in which arguments. In debate, the goal is to win, to ment triggers an emotional reaction in people are willing to uncover and share at sway others to your point of view. you, the expectation in dialogue is that a deeper level. Discussion is defined as an “exchange you will internally identify and share Developing skills to listen, to self-reflect of ideas,” but generally is more like debate the assumption or belief you hold that is and to manage the discomfort of staying when differences are expressed. The same being challenged. Understanding grows in the “not knowing” for longer periods root word in “discussion” is in “percus- with increasing awareness and skill to Ginny Belden-Charles is a facilitator and consultant helping sion” and “concussion.” Discussion and communicate in this way. What dialogue groups reach common understanding and achieve common debate are conversations heavy on advo- Sarita Chawla, a wise teacher goals. She is a cofounder of the Center for Emerging Leadership cacy and critique. Listening happens of mine, describes dialogue as offers is an and its Women’s Leadership Community and adjunct faculty more like a “pause to reload” than a real like going to a potluck. At a member at St. Catherine University. attempt to understand what the other per- potluck, everyone brings opportunity a different dish. In a dia- son is saying. to sample In contrast, dialogue is a communica- logue, everyone brings tion process whose goal is to reach deeper different assumptions and a rich feast understanding. Dialogue comes from beliefs. At a potluck, you the Greek root words “dia” and “logos,” could eat only the dish you of different roughly translated to “meaning passing brought. The same is true in between.” Dialogue requires a special dialogue. You are not asked to perspectives give up your own beliefs. What kind of listening and speaking in which and worldviews. we suspend judgment to explore different dialogue offers is an opportunity to perspectives, beliefs and assumptions at a sample a rich feast of different perspec- deeper level. tives and worldviews. of time takes both patience and stamina. going deeper change the rules Three things must be present for suc- cessful dialogue: 1) a complex question Dialogue shows up in many forms and The skills needed for dialogue are not or issue to explore; 2) skills in and com- traditions, such as Native American coun- well developed in our culture that values mitment to the dialogue approach; and cil process or Quaker meetings, with simi- strong arguments and quick solutions. Too 3) time to explore without the need to get lar principles and practices. People speak often people show up locked and loaded quickly to action. one at a time. The pace of conversation is into position, ready for a good fight. Or Practice peacemaking slower, with moments of silence in which they don’t show up at all. people can get in touch with how they’re Certain conditions need to be in place Participating for 10 years in the Dialogue feeling and thinking. In dialogue, the to create a safe environment for dialogue Learning Group, which sponsored several playing field is equalized by setting aside (see dialogue guidelines in the box). These public dialogues and shared best prac- differences in roles or status, allowing guidelines encourage participants to Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 9 educationFeatuRe Metropolitan State University tices in facilitating dialogue, I learned fi rst hand how dialogue strengthens relationships. The more complex the issue and the further we are from having shared agreement about the issue, the more we need dialogue. Three degrees The value of dialogue is that it encourages greater understand- debate, discussion, dialogue ing and can help us fi nd the places where we may have common ground. Even more, dialogue can be a tool for peacemaking, of freedom. As words swirl around health care, how do we effectively talk transforming relationships across deep differences. The Public Conversations Project (PCP) between six prominent to each other, as individuals, as a nation? pro-life and pro-choice women leaders is a good example of public dialogue. The activists from MBA • MMIS • MPNA by Ginny Belden-Charles the two “embattled camps” Master of: Business Administration • Management Information Systems • guidelines for dialogue: began a private dialogue that Public and Nonprofit Administration continued over six years and • Listen for understanding resulted in a co-authored arti- • Respect the person, even Our graduate programs give you the freedom to cle about their experience. In if you disagree choose your style of learning—on campus, online, the end, neither side changed • Allow differences of or a combination of both—with our commitment to what it believed about abor- perspective tion. What changed was the the highest standards for all types of instruction. • Allow for silence capacity to hold the paradox The most affordable high quality masters 3d defi nition of irreconcilable worldviews • Refrain from advocacy programs in the Upper Midwest. while embracing the human- or advice-giving ity in one another. And that • Keep confi dentiality changed how the two groups did their work, decreasing infl ammatory rhetoric and the potential for violence. “We’ve experienced something radical and life-altering that we describe in nonpolitical terms: the mystery of love, holy ground, or simply, mysterious,” they wrote. They show us how dialogue might transform us to create a more compassionate and civil society. Ginny Belden-Charles is a facilitator and consultant helping What dialogue groups reach common understanding and achieve common goals. She is a cofounder of the Center for Emerging Leadership offers is an and its Women’s Leadership Community and adjunct faculty member at St. Catherine University. opportunity to sample ReadaBoutit FFi: a rich feast Dialogue: Rediscover the National Coalition on Transforming Power of Dialogue and Deliberation of different Conversation by Linda (NCDD): www.thataway. Ellinor and Glenna Gerard org, a community of prac- perspectives The Transformative Power titioners, organizations, and worldviews. of Dialogue, Volume 12 researchers, public offi cials, (Research in Public Policy activists, artists, students Analysis and Management), and others dedicated to by Nancy Roberts solving problems through College of Management change the rules honest talk, quality thinking going deeper “Talking With the Enemy” and collaborative action. www.metrostate.edu/com/wp Boston Globe, Sunday, January 28, 2001 AmericaSpeaks: 612.659.7290 www.americaspeaks.org AmericaSpeaks’ mission is to reinvigorate American Practice peacemaking Democracy by engaging citizens in the public decision-making that most impacts their lives. A member of the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities system 10 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 PRoFile

tough questioner OF KARI XIONG COURTESy Privilege, power and gym clothes by Sun yung Shin Kari Xiong’s voice is clear and energetic. As one of 18 Student Learning Advocates (SLAs) in the Anoka-Hennepin public school district, she is passionate about helping students achieve their goals. And she asks tough questions. “What can we do to make sure you are turning in your algebra homework? How can we help you get to phy-ed class and make sure you have gym clothes?” are questions Xiong poses to students in their individual problem-solving needs. She also asks the tough, bigger-picture questions: “We need to ask how can we close the achievement gap between white students and students of color,” Xiong said. “Why are white students from lower Woman role model socioeconomic classes doing better, as a whole, than black students in the middle class?” The achievement gap persists in Minnesota and “in general, educators are not racist,” Xiong said, “but we all need to understand our biases and where they come from.” city girl leads sessions such as “Courageous After completing her undergradu- Conversations about Race.” ate degree in elementary educa- What does diversity mean? tion at Southwest Minnesota State “This is an opportunity for many I’ve been reminded repeat- University in Marshall, Xiong real- staff to think about their own racial “ ized she wanted to be in an urban identity and experiences,” Xiong edly that people don’t know setting working with students to said. She observed that many “white overcome barriers. She had grown families do not have discussions why Hmong people are here in up in St. Paul and attended Central about their own race on a regular High School. basis, but many students of color are Minnesota. I really try to speak Xiong, who has been in her cur- continuously asked to share their rent position since 2005, said that personal experiences about being up, not just about the Hmong, but many of the students she works with black, Asian, etc.” She would like struggle with obstacles that include to see the topic of “white privilege” about why West Africans are here, poverty, having difficulty with addressed—for white people to schoolwork and low expectations. have conversations and ask each In addition to assisting stu- other questions about what being about all people’s stories. dents in academic and attendance white means to them. Through ” improvement, she communicates honest discussions, “white people — Kari Xiong with administration and staff about can overcome the feelings of guilt student needs, works with peer of being a part of the white race and mediation, school/home relations, can be proactive in helping all races The profile appears in every issue of the identifies at-risk students, and helps be treated fairly,” Xiong said. Minnesota Women’s Press. It reflects our with K-12 teacher and staff train- With students, she teaches them to founding principle and guiding philosophy ing on multicultural, diversity and think critically, to demonstrate their that every woman has a story. Readers at-risk student issues. In her role of understanding of cause and effect, are welcome to submit suggestions for facilitating staff development, she and to have honest and respectful profile subjects. Email your ideas to conversations with each other, such [email protected]. Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 11 PRoFile Move Ahead in Your Career Earn a law degree through Hamline’s as whether or not they’re OK with the use of the “N” Part-time Weekend Program word within the African-American community. Xiong • Learn from nationally recognized faculty said she’s seen individual students change from, “I’m fine • Control your schedule with being called a ‘N-a’ by my friends,” to a year later • Grow personally and professionally telling her, “You know, it’s really not OK to use that word, it’s not respectful.” COURTESy OF KARI XIONG COURTESy “[Education has] gone from appreciating diversity to really asking what that means, … to pushing staff developments, to embracing cultural competency, to arriving at Open house: November 14 10am – noon a widespread understanding that equity is not the same Hamline University, East Hall Bldg., Room 106 as equality,” Xiong said. She explained that equality is RSVP: www.hamline.edu/law/visitus everyone getting precisely the same treatment without regard to individual differences. Equity means everyone gets the same quality of treatment that fits her or his individual needs, which includes race, socio-economic status, sex, etc. “For example,” Xiong said, “the teacher is treating everyone equally by having desks, pens, books, paper, etc. for all of her students. But, equity” she continued, “is when [the teacher] acknowledges that all her students learn differently; therefore, she will take the extra steps to consider and accommodate each child’s individual needs, and hold high expectations for all her students.” Woman role model “It has really benefited our girls to have a woman in this position that they can go to—whether they’re having problems related to their menstrual cycle to dealing with dating!” Xiong said of her SLA role. “Some of them do not have a mother figure or their mothers are working so hard at two or three jobs to make sure there’s food on the table. I’m trying to be that role [model], to advocate and to speak up for these girls. Flex “Being Hmong, I have been culturally raised to be more quiet, to observe, but I want these girls to embrace Dollars their voice,” she said. Xiong credits other women with inspiring her own strength. “I am the person I am today Use them or not because of one single woman but because of all the lose them women I choose to associate with—women who are strong, independent, who have traditions, women who are exceptional about balancing life.” Visit www.spectacleshoppe.biz to receive your $100 coupon. Xiong’s upbringing in the Hmong community remains a powerful influence. “I’ve been reminded repeatedly New Brighton, West St. Paul, Downtown St. Paul, Burnsville Center that people don’t know why Hmong people are here in Minnesota. I really try to speak up, not just about the Celebrating 20 years of Smiles Hmong, but about why West Africans are here, about all people’s stories. My parents, who came to Minnesota in CELEBRATING 1978 and who have eight children, have taught me very 20 YEARS OF SMILES AT well that family comes first, that listening and caring are core values.” Convincing students to believe in themselves is one of ADELE DELLA TORRE, DDS Xiong’s biggest challenges, but when she sees students who have doubted themselves graduating high school, ALICE M. OTTAVI, DDS “That’s my biggest joy,” she said. “They would say, ‘I ADT Dental offers rXXXBEUEFOUBMDPNcomprehensive dentistry don’t think I’m going to make it,’ and then they graduate provided by a caring)FOOFQJO"WF4 .JOOFBQPMJT ./ dedicated health team. with honors, go on to attend four-year institutions. 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What book are you currently discussion, even though it took club journal then passing it from reading? three months to convince the host to host. “Twilight” by A. “Beautiful Girls” by Beth Ann group we should try reading it. Q. What makes your group work? Stephanie Meyer Bauman We were, surprisingly, all caught A. We are a small group, and sparked a great Q. What book(s) by a female up in the love story and the we don’t put the pressure on if discussion for author has your group read that suspense of it all. It’s not often we haven’t read the book—we Cynthia Lunder’s you would most recommend to we discuss the book for more all recognize that life happens! Book group. other readers? Why? than 30-45 minutes, but we talked We read a variety of books: A. “Run” by Ann Patchett; about “Twilight” for two hours. fi ction, nonfi ction, mystery, What would your “The Thirteenth Tale” by Diane It brought up heated discussions ethical, historical pieces and yes, book group Setterfi eld; “I Was Told There’d about female heroines, feminism even sometimes the occasional recommend? Be Cake” by Sloane Crosley; and the role of females in books, romance. “The Monsters of Templeton” movies and life. It actually turned — Jeanne Bain by Lauren Groff; “The Vanishing into a rather deep discussion. Tell us about your book group! Act of Esme Lennox” by Maggie Q. What rituals or traditions does Write to [email protected] O’Farrell and “The Red Tent” by your group have? Anita Diamant. All these books

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BeRnice compassionate adventurer KoehleR Johnson I did not know if I wanted to be Tarzan or Jane. But I did know that I wanted to experience more than the farm I grew up on in northern Minnesota. I often climbed into the branches of the elm tree in front of our house. It was a perfect place to read Tarzan books I checked out from the bookcase in the one-room school I attended. At 8 or 9 years old I knew I wanted adventure—not knowing then that the word “adventure” would take on different meanings over time. When I was 58 years old, I left my the doctor Miss Lillian worked for pointed job at the Hennepin County Highway out that she had prolonged the woman’s Department and went back to school for misery did she realize her error. my master’s degree, tutoring English as a A compassionate adventurer. That was Second Language to pay my tuition. It felt what Lillian Carter was, and, having like an adventure to have students from descended from the branches of the elm China, Vietnam, Japan and Indonesia come tree, that is what I wanted to be. BooKshelF: to me for help with pronunciation and to I started teaching English in other For those of you who talk about their respective countries. After countries: Indonesia, Spain, Ecuador and might be interested completing the degree, I attended teachers’ Guatemala. At age 69, I answered an in a similar path, training in “English as Another Language” Internet ad to teach English in Thailand Bernice Koehler Johnson in Madrid. There, my to Shan refugees who had escaped from recommends the deﬁnition of adventure Burma. My decision had nothing to do following books: A compassionate changed as I walked with compassion—it was the adventure of Away from Home: adventurer. That through the aisles of the traveling to Thailand that I wanted. The Letters to My Family Prado on free Thursday compassion developed as I worked with was what Lillian by Lillian Carter afternoons. Not exactly Shan youth and grew to love them for the Carter was, and, Tarzan and Jane stuff, but way they rose above the trauma of refugee Twilight Over Burma, having descended my taste in books and life and dedicated themselves to helping My Life as a Shan heroes had changed. others. I think that I might now call myself Princess by Inge from the branches One of my heroes was a compassionate adventurer, not the likes Sargent of the elm tree, the mother of President of Miss Lillian, but a humbler version of Finding George Orwell t0CKFDUJWF QFSTPOBMJOWFTUNFOUBEWJDFBOEJimmy Carter, known that great lady. in Burma by Emma ĕOBODJBMQMBOOJOHPOBOIPVSMZCBTJTthat is what I affectionately as “Miss Larkin t5BYQSFQBSBUJPOGPSJOEJWJEVBMT USVTUTwanted to be. Lillian.” At the age of 68, Bernice Koehler Johnson has written about The White Umbrella by BOEFTUBUFT Miss Lillian joined the her experiences in Thailand in her recently Patricia Elliott Peace Corps and traveled t%JTDPWFSUIFQPTTJCJMJUJFTBOEPQQPSUVOJUJFT published book, “The Shan: Refugees to India to serve the poor as a nurse. In GPSSFBDIJOHZPVSMJGFHPBMT Without a Camp.” She lives in Minneapolis. 1977, Simon and Schuster published her www.BerniceJohnson.com letters homet in book form: “Away from Home: Letters to My Family.” Miss Lillian wrote about the shame she What’s on your bookshelf? felt when she received a jar of peanut but- Send us 450 words about your booklife, ter from home and hoarded it for herself, plus your list of five related books by and she wrote about a misguided effort at women authors. [email protected] charity, in which she gave a loaf of bread to a woman who for days had been in the process of dying on the street. Only when

winwin Hooked on books? The Minnesota Women’s Press One-year subscription (6 issues): $30 also publishes the magazine BookWomen—A Readers’ BookWomen Community for Those Who Love Women’s Words. 771 Raymond Ave., St. Paul, MN 55114 For a free sample copy, email [email protected]. www.womenspress.com • 651-646-3968 14 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 educationFeatuRe Maryy and the digitalg divide Gender IT by Michele St. Martin & Ego and empowerment Writers are often advised to “write what they know,” and St. Paul educator Mary Kirk took this advice in spades when she wrote her first book, the textbook “Gender and Information Technology: Moving Beyond Access to Co-Create Global Partnership.” Kirk has worked in information technol- social systems perspective on institutions ogy and has a science background. She is to “explore how shifting from dominator also a feminist scholar, and as a result, her towards partnership systems might help book is more than a history of women in us move beyond simplistic notions of More books ahead information technology (IT); Kirk inter- access to co-create a real digital revolution weaves history with an exploration of why worldwide.” the IT explosion has benefited women Kirk had planned for her book to reach significantly less than men. a general audience. When the publisher As a woman in technology, Kirk saw suggested that she pen some discussion women disadvantaged not only as scien- questions for each chapter so that it could tists and developers, but as consumers. be used in teaching, she complied. But Because fewer women are involved as when the book was released with a $165

Shifting from dominator towards partnership systems might “ KIRK OF MARy COURTESy help us move beyond simplistic notions of access to *eY2__fR] co-create a real digital revolution worldwide.”—Mary Kirk #VXXde`Rde 4`]`^SZR_ developers and users, they have less input price tag—in other words, priced as a R^VcZTR_WcZVd :_UVaV_UV_TV5 Rj into the direction of digital developments. textbook—Kirk realized that, ironically, a 4V]VScReZ`_ Software is currently created to fit the book about access might be, well, inac- criteria of developers, not the needs of cessible to a major portion of its intended # *& ;f]j")$*a^ end users, Kirk said. The world of IT is audience. “I’m frustrated that the book is modeled on the widespread dominator classified as a reference book, that it has >`_URj7cZURj(*R^ culture theory developed by Riane Eisler. the price tag it does,” she admitted. EYRe¨d9fVg`d If the partnership model Eisler champions Journey to the classroom is adopted instead, Kirk believes the fields 7c`^R_2feYV_eZT It is fitting that the students she teaches of science and IT would be more woman- 4`]`^S Z R_7R^Z]j at Metropolitan State University are not friendly, and so would the resulting leaRnmoRe typical undergraduates (many are older, technology. “nontraditional” students), because Kirk Visit Mary Kirk’s website Writing the book herself is not your typical academic. at www.marykirk.net. “I wrote the book about seven or eight Although she is a professor and holds a The website has links to years after getting my Ph.D.,” Kirk said. Ph.D., she received her bachelor’s degree excerpts from the book. “[At first] I started writing a bit about in 1992 after years in the work force. She Any local bookstore Riane Eisler’s work, but it ended up being had gone to college right out of high can order “Gender and

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H`^V_ j H`^V_ j Ë Kirk applied Eisler’s belief that society science to literature to writing, dropped Ë e e HR_e \ HR_e \ K`d\j d K`d\j d to Co-Create Global f f needs to move from a dominator (male) out without her degree. D N D XN èe\jfkX èe\jfk system to a partnership (female) one to the But she eventually went back. “I was Partnership” (IGI Global, issue of access to technology. Her book, working as a technical writer,” Kirk said. 2009). she said recently, uses an interdisciplinary, She was working for IBM on a contract Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 15 basis, but she needed a bachelor’s degree to be learned as much from them as they did from educationFeatuRe hired permanently. her. She began to think about gender and race Dominator/ While pursuing that B.A., Kirk was exposed “in a way that brings everyone to the table to exceptional teachers who focused on rather than demonizing them.” And she used Partnership student-centered teaching. She decided to journaling to build trust. Theory pursue a career in education. After her B.A., Kirk requires most classes to journal. In “The Chalice and she earned an M.A. in women’s literature and “Students don’t know how powerful the the Blade” and her then a Ph.D. in women’s studies/women in experience is going to be,” she explained. “I computing. don’t criticize and critique, I’m affi rming and other books, Riane Eisler argues that for Ego and empowerment nurturing. Students come to trust that we’re in this together.” It is, she said, a “transforma- our society to become One of the tenets of Kirk’s philosophy of tive” experience for many. a peaceful and healthy student-centered teaching is that education The man who took the class to argue with students should be empowered to be on an one, we must move her is one of the many who was transformed. equal footing with their teachers. She admit- from a patriarchal He began, she said, to write about fairness on ted that “not bringing your ego into the class- a personal level. “He wrote [a very long] entry system, in which men room can be diffi cult.” about how he, himself, now recognized that strive to dominate A case in point is the male student who told he was failing at fairness in his marriage,” she both women and other the class he was there “… to argue with Mary said. for another quarter.” Kirk let other students men, to a partnership speak up in opposition to his views on the More books ahead system, in which the topic at hand, which was how schools cheat Kirk is currently working on a book about innate strengths of girls. teaching and spirituality, and she hopes to both women and men She had come a long way as a teacher from work out a way to develop a mass-market ver- are valued. The part- her fi rst women’s studies class, when she sion of “Gender and Information Technology.” nership model is one hoped no men would sign up. “I was afraid “I want to write for parents about making they’d be mean,” Kirk said candidly. technology more accessible for your child,” that values collabora- The men tended to dominate the classes she said. And she hopes that by getting more tion and relationships in the beginning—but they began to talk less women’s voices involved in that conversation, over wealth and power. and to listen more. Kirk explicitly talked about the digital divide will close. white privilege and male privilege. And she

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a life in music There’s really not much mystique in Miller’s road to composition. She began taking piano lessons at age 7. “It was part of growing up in a Danish-American community with nothing to do,” said Miller, a native of tiny Dagmar, Mont. Piano performance was a big part of Miller’s life. “I started playing for church ‘She when I was in eighth grade and paid my rent in college playing for church.” But it wasn’t until after she finished her Just master’s degree in piano and worked 8 to 5 as a computer programmer that she started composing. Until then, “I thought iFyougo: of composers as dead white guys from What: The Minnesota Philharmonic Orchestra will Europe,” Miller said. Wants’ perform The Feminine Mystique But the programming job stifled her artistic nature, demanding a creative out- Sarah Miller When: Sat., Nov. 14 at 7:30 p.m. The Minnesota let. “I was really unhappy there. I would Where: Sundin Music Hall, Hamline University, go home and start composing. I only tions and successes of Everywoman, and 1531 Hewitt Ave., St. Paul Schlefke was glad he stayed. stayed six months, then I started my doc- Tickets: $18 adult, $12 senior/student, $5 children, Philharmonic “I was immediately mesmerized by the torate in composition. I really enjoy taking ($16/$10 reserved in advance) an idea and having it grow into something piece as a whole—the performance of the FFI: 612-656-5676 or www.mnphil.org Orchestra gets bigger,” she said. Miller, 50, a piano and soloist who completely personalized the composition instructor and composition poetry and Sarah’s music. I told Sarah if in touch with its coordinator at MacPhail Center for Music, she ever wanted to expand it for orchestra has composed a lot, much of it for piano to contact me,” Schlefke said. and voice or one other instrument. Miller was delighted with the collabora- feminine side tion with Schfleke in fine-tuning the piece. composer on demand by Delma J. Francis “Joe got it,” she said. “He went over it with “What I usually write is whatever some- a fine-tooth comb.” And the result, includ- What began as a slim, vivid one asks me to write,” Miller said, including a few changes here and there, was aalie ing commissioned pieces and requests pleasing to her. pink volume of poetry by from friends. “She Just Beverly Rollwagen about the Wants” began as a piece arrae requested by soprano Mary angst of women, aptly titled, Rempalski Ohm, for piano It’s fun to play and conveys all the writer, “She Just Wants,” and voice. How it came to be her first arrangement for “ peacemaker, has grown to a full orchestra emotions, all the feelings women have in full standard orchestra is a auntie composition with voice. story in itself. Joe Schlefke, music their lives. You feel a connection with all the ... and MWP reader The composer: Sarah Miller director of the Minnesota of Minneapolis. Philharmonic Orchestra, movements of the piece. — Sarah Kempf She picks up her copy Miller’s work will be had gone to a program ” at the Golden Valley called Thursday Musical the Feminine mystique Library. premiered by the Minnesota at the Bloomington Center for the Arts. “I The MPO will also perform Philharmonic Orchestra went to hear something else,” and hadn’t planned to stay for the entire program, “Slipstream,” a commissioned piece by Click on “get a copy” at (MPO) as the centerpiece of its Schlefke said. Denise Broadhurst, another composer www.womenspress.com to nd with Minnesota ties, who died of breast But because he was seated in the middle a MWP distribution site in 17th season kickoff labeled cancer last year at 38. Other works, while of a row and didn’t want to disturb oth- your neighborhood. “The Feminine Mystique.” ers to get out—“I was a total Minnesotan composed by men, are inspired by women about it,”—he remained in his seat. Then of legend and folklore. Sarah and soprano Mary Ohm (who will “We have done a performance of just perform it with MPO) began to perform women composers,” Schfleke said, but “it’s the song cycle about the desires, frustra- a fine line” between honor and condescen- Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 17

WoRdsandPictuRes Together we bring good health sion. “Historically, women have been in the gross minority among composers, but they have made great strides, and we to life using the deep and want to put them on equal footing with men,” mainstreaming gentle healing of homeopathy. them, he said. Call for an appointment As for women in the orchestra and on the board of directors, Kim Lane, MD “We thought it was just time [for “The Feminine Mystique”], said Sarah Kempf, 29, an MPO violinist and member of the tt board of directors. She has nothing but praise for Miller’s www.wellnesslane.org composition. “It’s fun to play and conveys all the emotions, all the feel- LLC ings women have in their lives. You feel a connection with all the movements of the piece,” Kempf said. $MBTTJDBM)PNFPQBUIZBOE8FMMOFTT$POTVMUBUJPOt4IPSFWJFX Unlike a composition for one or two instruments or even a small ensemble, it’s often awhile before a composer hears her symphonic work. “I’m excited to hear it,” Miller said.

iFyougo: What: The Minnesota Philharmonic Orchestra will www.stthomas.edu perform The Feminine Mystique When: Sat., Nov. 14 at 7:30 p.m. Where: Sundin Music Hall, Hamline University, 1531 Hewitt Ave., St. Paul Tickets: $18 adult, $12 senior/student, $5 children, ($16/$10 reserved in advance) FFI: 612-656-5676 or www.mnphil.org

aalie arrae writer, peacemaker, auntie ... and MWP reader — Sarah Kempf She picks up her copy at the Golden Valley Library.

Click on “get a copy” at www.womenspress.com to nd a MWP distribution site in your neighborhood. Graduate Studies at St. Thomas Art History � Business � Catholic Studies � Education � Engineering English � Law � Music � Professional Psychology � Social Work 18 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009

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Center for Somali Health To learn more and to donate, visit www.mihv.org. 20 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 coveRaRtist Go with the flow Cover artist Rosemary Guttormsson reflects on her watercolor lessons by Norma Smith Olson Twenty years ago, after attending a watercolor exhibit, Rosemary Lange Guttormsson picked up her paint- brushes. She has been painting and studying color, theory and technique in classes and workshops ever since. “I’m not trained as an artist, didn’t go to art school, didn’t study it in college. I’ve kind of learned along the way,” she said. “I’m still learning.” Taking a Break in Reykjavik Practical before painting been talking for years about traveling together to Even as she tended toward the creative, Iceland, the Guttormsson family country of origin. Guttormsson was raised to be practical. “I had A year earlier, Guttormsson had been diagnosed as always done art,” she said of her childhood in having breast cancer. She went through rounds of Dubuque, Iowa, but being “raised by depression- chemotherapy and radiation and as part of a study, era parents, it didn’t even occur to me back in the received weekly infusions of the experimental drug ’60s that I could have been an art major. I went to Herceptin for a year. school for a more practical aspect.” She graduated “Maybe [the trip] was a reaction to my cancer,” with a biology degree from Gustavus Adolphus Guttormsson said, but she told her sisters-in-law College, St. Peter, Minn., in 1969, went to work in “we need to do this now. We can’t just put this off. It medical technology, and painted with acrylic and was a trip to celebrate our family, a sister trip.” And, oils as a side interest. “Then when I had children a trip to celebrate her own recovery from cancer. I put all of that away,” she said of her paints and The scene of the painting is a coffee shop in brushes. Reykjavik. The six travelers—three sisters, two Rosemary Guttormsson Color crayons and magic markers had become artist friends of Guttormsson’s, and their travel her artistic tools as she encouraged creativity in her agent—had jet lag and decided to sit down, have a three sons. Guttormsson and her husband, Steve, cup of coffee and get to know each other. The sev- enth traveler, Guttormsson, snapped their photo. I’m kind of raised their family in Duluth. In 1989, when her sons were in their teens, she Later, after looking at the photo that captured this a“ control freak in attended that watercolor exhibit and thought to special moment in time, she decided to paint it. herself, “I’ve never done that, but it looks like some- let it flow my personal life, thing I could paint at the kitchen table and then pack Working with watercolor causes Guttormsson to it up and put it away when it was dinnertime,” she but watercolor reﬂect on her life. “I’m kind of a control freak in my said. That was her start in watercolors. personal life,” she said, “but watercolor just does just does its own She describes herself as a color person: “I like its own thing. You work with what it gives you,” bright colors. I’ve never been a photo-realistic she said. “You learn how to let it go; that’s part of thing. You work painter. [My paintings] tend to look a little more it, letting it go.” impressionistic.” These days she is trying to learn As Guttormsson explained about her ongoing with what it gives how to be a bit more abstract in her art process, travel as a student of art, she continued: “It’s kind you. You learn combining watercolors with other paints and mixed of getting into the abstract, I need to let myself go media. a little more in that direction. I’m on a journey. I how to let it go; Break time started out being a ‘ﬂower painter.’ I’m on a journey She describes her painting, shown on the cover to take myself as a serious painter.” that’s part of it, of this month’s Minnesota Women’s Press, “Taking In 2002, watercolor painters Rosemary Guttormsson and letting it go. a Break in Reykjavik” as having a lot of collage in it. “It’s more abstract,” she said compared to her ear- Susan Bolos started an art gallery called “Just for the — Rosemary” Season.” In 2006, the gallery expanded to year round and lier artwork. Guttormsson The inspiration for the painting was a 2006 represents 50 regional artists. It is open Tuesday through trip to Iceland—travel is another passion for Saturday in the Holiday Center in downtown Duluth. Guttormsson. She and her three sisters-in-law had FFI: www.mnartists.org Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 21 coveRaRtist Holiday Traditions. Holiday Fun. Go with the fl ow Holiday These women-friendly businesses open their doors to Cover artist Rosemary Guttormsson you with a special invitation this holiday season. refl ects on her watercolor lessons Visit them, create new traditions and by Norma Smith Olson support women-friendly businesses. Guide See more great advertisers on the next two pages!

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251 Snelling Ave S, St. Paul 651-695-5559 peapods.com www.goldengirlhomes.us Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 23 laughingmatteRs older, wiser annenoonan I’m now 40. I thought I would know more about big topics like world history, the charac- ters in Greek mythology, or the implications of space travel. But instead I’ve learned things like this: 1. If, the fi rst time you wear new shoes, they cut up your feet and make you bleed, they will do the same thing the second time. You don’t need to repeat the process to fi nd out. 2. If you say you’re going to show up, show up. 3. Always ask how much your haircut costs before you get your hair cut. 4. If you know anyone who consistently makes you laugh, make sure this person stays in your life. 5. Personal projects are often least appreciated by the people you think will appreciate them the most. 6. Always carry some cash. 7. Baths are the cheapest form of relaxation. 8. Traveling is expensive and eats up your vacation. Only do it with people you are certain will be enjoyable company. 9. Seamless bras are underrated. 10. The term “BYOB” should no longer be in your vocabulary. 11. Forgiving yourself for the embarrassing things you did when you were younger—and then letting the memories go—is OK. 12. If the man working at the makeup counter looks prettier than you do, move on to a different makeup counter. 13. Keeping a deck of cards in your purse is surprisingly useful. 14. A full-body massage means just that. You will need to specify if you want sections to be off-limits. 15. Cropped pants are not fl attering. 16. If timeworn photos and mementos make you feel bad every time you look at them, chuck ’em. 17. If you fi nd a lipstick you love, buy 10. You never know when it will be discontinued. 18. Venting to friends is helpful; pure gossiping makes you feel rotten. 19. Make your bedtime reading lighthearted. 20. Always fi le your nails before putting on nylons. Anne Noonan is a graduate of Gustavus Adolphus College and works as a copywriter in the Twin Cities. She lives in Orono, Minn.

LAUGHINGMATTERS: You bet it does! Who said feminists can’t be funny? 450 words maximum. Email to editor@womenspress. com or to see complete guidelines for reader submissions go to www.womenspress.com and click on “About us.” 24 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 goseedo www.womenspress.com goseedo ongoing thRough 11/28 ongoing thRough 12/18 11/9 monday ‘What’s up?’ global women’s health Lucia Hwang’s exhibit, “What’s Up,” shows her mixed media art, including Louis Chicken shown here. Free. Gage Family Art Gallery, Augsburg College, 22nd Ave. S. at Riverside Ave., Minneapolis. FFI: 612-330-1524 or www.augsburg. edu/galleries

‘hold Push’ 11/5 thuRsday 11/11 Wednesday Local woodcut artist Susan Andre exhibits ‘Qualities of light’ indigenous thinking on sustainability a new collection of large woodcut prints, showing her love of nature and the female Mary Carroll Moore introduces her ﬁrst novel, ﬁgure. The FrameWorks, 2022A Ford Pkwy., “Qualities of Light,” a coming-of-age, coming-out St. Paul. FFI: 651-698-3372. story about an adolescent girl’s confrontation with her own qualities of light and darkness. Set in summer in See more calendar listings online the Adirondacks. 7 p.m., free. The Loft Literary Center, at www.womenspress.com. 1011 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. FFI: www.loft.org

Explore your career interests to the fullest. PASSION Flexibility. Balance. Growth. Solutions. Learn more – contact Argosy University. MASTER’S | DOCTORATE Business | Education | Psychology Argosy University, Twin Cities 1.877.897.7119 WWW.ARGOSYTODAY.COM 1515 Central Pkwy. | Eagan, MN 55121 Financial Aid is available to those who qualify Argosy University is accredited by the Higher Learning Commission and a member of the North Central Association (30 North LaSalle Street, Suite 2400, Chicago, IL 60602, 1.800.621.7440, www.ncahlc.org) Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 25 goseedo www.womenspress.com goseedo ongoing thRough 12/18 11/9 monday 11/11 Wednesday & 11/13 FRiday ‘What’s up?’ global women’s health ‘Women at War’ Anika Rahman, attorney, First-time presentation of the late Fran Ford’s women’s rights advocate play depicting violence against women in the and president of Americans military. Ford, a well-known actor in the Twin for UNFPA (United Nations Cities, died of cancer in 2008, shortly after Population Fund), discusses ﬁ nishing this play. Produced by the nonproﬁ t action steps, globally and group she founded, called War Plays Project, domestically, to ensure the and directed by Esther Ouray, staff mem- health and rights of women ber at In the Heart of the Beast Puppet and by 2015. Noon, $35, Intelligent Mask Theater. Free. 7 p.m. Wed., Sundin Hall, Nutrients, 983 E. Hennepin Ave., Hamline University, St. Paul; 7 p.m. Fri., Chapel, Mpls. FFI: 646-649-9100 or Macalester College, St. Paul. FFI: 612-229-1641. www.americansforunfpa.com

11/11 Wednesday indigenous thinking on sustainability Winona LaDuke gives a talk called “Beyond Conquest: Indigenous Thinking on Sustainability,” in celebration of Native American Heritage Month. LaDuke is a member of the White Earth Band of Anishinaabeg and director of the White Earth Land Recovery Project. 5:30 p.m., free, but online registration required. William Mitchell College of Law, 875 Summit Ave., St. Paul. FFI: 651-290-6370 or www.wmitchell.edu

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612-343-1623 30 East 10th Street, St. Paul 651-292-4323 www.historytheatre.com www.seedsofmindfulness.com formerly Sagaris RECEIVE $2 OFF WHEN YOU MENTION THIS AD! 26 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 shesaid youRstoRy tami mohamed autumn ritual heart in my voice BRoWn It’s the end of a long evening as I settle into the early dark that marks the autumn season, deliberating whether to carry on with what has become a yearly tradition. When fall temperatures drop, instead of relying on the Farmer’s Almanac to forecast the weather, I count on those good and dependable folks at WCCO to give me the information I need to extend the life of the tiny patch of green that lies just outside my window. I start what has become a time-honored but time- consuming practice of covering the summer plants that live on my second- ﬂoor balcony, each night, with bed sheets.

I sometimes doubt whether the energy that My husband will become irritated at the this annual ritual requires is time put to good amount of space the plants occupy, the way they I will continue to use; after all, the plants are not a necessity. They disrupt our normal routine. aren’t something I depend on to feed and sus- I, too, will become tired of the effort and cover the plants tain my family, or something I invest my time organization this temporary living arrangement every evening and energy into to earn a living, but instead, requires, the messiness it causes in my other- something I enjoy, a luxury that I allow myself. wise neatly paced life. The cats will dig in the with the sheets, My attention to them has been admittedly containers, ripping the plants out by their roots later in the season sporadic. There have been summers where I and dragging their sad remains into corners and smother them with my interest, picking dead under chairs, leaving strings of dirt and leaves graduating to the leaves and insects from the blooms and feed- across the carpet that will need to be cleaned up heavier weights of ing them on a diet of privileged concentration each morning. We will have bugs in the house. with daily watering and natural fertilizer, taking I end up creating my own mini-disaster, an towels and dou- delight in the way they ﬂourish. There have attempt at a salvation, my husband tells me, bling them over been summers, too, where I forget about the that I’m not really meant to give. for warmth and plants, too busy with my own self-important But as I write from my autumn balcony, I comings and goings to remember that there are disagree. I don’t see this yearly undertaking as protection. living things that exist just beyond the glass of a frantic attempt to extend the nature of things, the sliding door in the living room. but rather an observance of change and the sea- Their yearly existence is solely dependent on sons, an active, different way of paying atten- my attitude, subject to my whims and the time I tion to the world around me, messy as it may decide to devote to their care, the attention that I be. As with any ritual, or tradition, it is some- choose to give them. thing I’m invested in, important as its practice My summer plants will not make it through allows it to be. the fall. If still alive through October, certainly I snap the sheet over the edge of the balcony, the arrival of November will undoubtedly kill watching it ﬂoat out towards the nearly bare them. It always does. branches of the oak tree and fall over the bal- Still, I will continue to cover the plants every cony railing. The good and dependable people evening with the sheets, later in the season of WCCO have mentioned only a trace of frost graduating to the heavier weights of towels and in the metro area overnight with a warmer fore- doubling them over for warmth and protection. cast for tomorrow. When this no longer works, I will bring them For this, I’m grateful. into the house each night, letting them take Tami Mohamed Brown lives in Bloomington with over my family’s small living space, the plants her family. occupying the kitchen counter and the piano bench, the top of the already-too-large-for-the- room coffee table, places not meant to be taken up by huge potted containers of dirt stuffed with impatiens and begonias and tall ornamen- Mary Warpeha is an adjunct professor of American culture and tal grasses. language for the China Center at the University of Minnesota and co-president of the Minnesota Chapter of US-China Peoples Friendship Association. She lives in New Brighton. Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 27 shesaid youRstoRy heart in my voice Asked to recall a time when I maRy spoke out with a strong voice, WaRPeha my thoughts went vividly to Resources for the Washington Seminar of older adults U.S.-China Peoples Friendship and families Fresh Gourmet Coffee & Sandwiches Daily! Association I attended in 2006. 651-455-1560 Always Fresh Meat & Bread & Produce! www.darts1.org The speaker was a man from the U.S. State Department during the Bush administration discussing his depart- JOIN THE ONGOING ment views on Chinese relations. He used insulting rhetoric regarding the BOOK AT current government of the People’s MWP! Republic of China. At the end of the GROUPS speech to a group called a “Friendship ooer rop Reading prize- Association” he asked for questions There was a winners, th Thurs., 6 p.m. and comments. The room was quiet. standing ovation ooes rop Reading sci-fi/ Then a polite question or two was from the audience. fantasy, rd Wed. 6:0:0 p.m. asked. The room was quiet. oos oo Combine reading I pulled myself together. I seldom I had said what & hiking, rd Sat. a.m.-noon, make comments in a group. I raised they had wanted to May-October my hand and quoted his negative na oeer A reading insulting words exactly. I said his say but could not. community, groups, rd Sun. :0 a.m.-noon words were not diplomatic; they were not conducive to seeking working relationships; they were oels ew in aperac rd Sun. 2 p.m. not even respectful of people running a nation, which had so recently separated itself from a dysfunctional system. I sug- Groups are facilitated. There is a fee for participation. gested that if there is to be harmony in this world, people in or more inormation his position could be wiser in their choice of words. Call 651-646-3968 x303 I took a deep breath to give my heart time to get back into [email protected] rhythm. He looked at me and said in a truly heartfelt way, www.womenspress.com “Thanks for sharing this with me. You have made me aware MINNESOTA WOMEN’S PRESS, INC. of my words and their potential impact.” 771 Raymond Ave., St. Paul I sat down. Then there was a standing ovation from the audience. I had said what they had wanted to say but could not. Nearly every person in that audience thanked me during the seminar. How did I feel? Angry at his words. Self-righteous about my beliefs. Scared to make a comment—being a people pleaser. Trembled all the while I spoke. Pleased that I had the capability to present a comment in a respectful way that apparently was not threatening to the speaker and was very Waiting in Joyful Hope. touching to the audience. Capable. Global sensitive. Proud Advent Featuring seasonal readings, silence and music with local musicians. to have developed myself to be in a position to have insight Evening into two of the world’s most impressive cultures. Glad it was November 30, December 7, 14, 21 over. (This is the kind of stuff that gives me heart attacks.) Prayer Time: 7-8 p.m. Did it matter? It always matters. It may take a long time All are welcome. Registration is not required. for it to matter, but it always matters. Nothing we do in goodness is ever without effect. Mary Warpeha is an adjunct professor of American culture and Sabbath House language for the China Center at the University of Minnesota 3228 Portland Ave S Minneapolis, MN 55407 and co-president of the Minnesota Chapter of US-China Mondays of Advent 612-822-2623 Peoples Friendship Association. She lives in New Brighton. tTBCCBUIIPVTF!GTMGPSH 28 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 leadeRvoice veRna coRneliaPRice the power of personal leadership At what point did I know that I was born to lead? When did I know that women were natural leaders with leadership running through their veins? Did someone in my family tell me that women can lead? Was it a part of my K-12 educational curriculum? Was it even a part of my undergraduate studies?

The answer is a resounding NO! I was never a leader because in her soul she understood a taught directly that women can or should lead. deep-rooted revelation about her very essence I was well into my adult life before I heard any- and humanity. one even talk about women as leaders. So how It took me well into my adult life to under- did I learn that I was born to lead? How did I stand the power that my grandmother held as come to a place of embracing my own leader- a leader in her community. She understood that ship? leadership was about who you are in your soul Growing up on Cat Island, a small island in and spirit. Leadership was what you were born A true leader is a the Bahamas, I was surrounded by amazing to do and be. She understood that we were born personal leader who and powerful women leaders who saw to it to be powerful leaders. Why? Because a true that every aspect of our society was run efﬁ- leader is a personal leader who knows and trusts knows and trusts ciently, effectively and lovingly. Even though the power she was born with. She knew, as I the power she was no one spoke directly about “taking leadership have come to learn, that leaders are people who or being a leader” it was evident through their embrace the FACT that they have the power to born with. words, actions and interactions that leadership not only change their life but also to change their was a natural part of life and living. I witnessed world. my grandmother, Annie Nora Stuart, raise 13 I am humbled by the notion that if you are grandchildren, including me, using what I now truly a leader, you don’t have to talk about it, or understand to be highly sophisticated leadership prove it to anyone. You simply have to embrace strategies: strength-based, visionary, team and your personal power and begin every day to ask transformational leadership. yourself the question, “What can I do today to My grandmother was the leader that our positively change my life and my world?” Then church community turned to when the circuit start! Why? Because you were born powerful pastor, a male, ordained Methodist minister and born to lead. who served churches on various islands, could Verna Cornelia Price is a motivational speaker, not make it to the island due to weather or leadership and management consultant and other duties. She was the one who organized author of several books, including “The Power of the Red Cross supplies that were shipped to People: Four Kinds of People Who Can Change us after our seasonal hurricanes. She was the Your Life.” She is also the founder of Girls in wise woman sought out by the community for Action™. She lives in Robbinsdale. advice and wisdom on how to solve life’s issues www.drvernaprice.com and dilemmas. She had no title, credentials or degrees. But she walked, talked and lived like

The Friends of the Saint Paul Public Library and The Advocates for Human Rights present an ongoing series of films and discussions focusing on global issues of women’s human rights: Tuesday, November 10, 7 p.m. La Americana

Call The Friends at Riverview Branch Library, 1 East George St., St. Paul 651-222-3242 for more information Don’t miss this intimate documentary following an undocumented or visit us online at immigrant's journey from Bolivia to New York City and back, as she struggles www.thefriends.org to save the life of her ailing daughter. Her unforgettable story is woven into for a complete lineup the current immigration crisis in the United States, putting a human face on of FREE events. this timely and controversial issue. Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 29 leadeRvoice the power of personal leadership tell us your story! Entertain More Than Ideas Get inspired at the Twin Cities’ We’re always interested to hear from premier entertaining event. readers who want to write for us. Some Sample, shop and explore everything “Home Entertaining.” Multiple Stages, of the most articulate writing we’ve sampling of luxury food, wine and published comes from women who don’t chocolate, learn the latest fashion trends for home & host and fantastic consider themselves writers. If you feel finds for all your gift giving. strongly about your work, an issue, or a Saturday & Sunday November 7-8 10am-6pm at the Minneapolis life experience, please tell us about it. Convention Center and Hotel IVY

onyourmind: This is the place to share Purchase tickets at theaffairmpls.com or Kowalski's Markets, Panera Bread your strong opinion about an issue. and Gaviidae Common 450 word maximum. $25/$30 at the door yourstory: Tell us about an experience you’ve had that might strike a chord with other women. 450 word maximum. laughingmatters: You bet it does! Who said feminists can’t be funny? 450 words maximum. Bookshelf: Books on a theme and five that you’d recommend? 500 words maximum + book list.

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Changing the Universe through women’s Stories color Page 30 30 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 onyouRmind Web 2, Plate 3 ReBecca suRmont tilling the job fields A little hope and humor helps in the furrows of job loss The season has shifted, harvest time is here: gathering, storing, diligent preparation and anticipation of gestation over a long winter. Many of us, including me, are eagerly awaiting the fruits of our job searches. We are pondering what our personal “crop yields” will be after a long season of planting, watering and waiting. While I know few people who were adequately Somewhere under all the dirt is a place to take prepared for job loss, I find there is growing hope root and I’m rather looking forward to it. I trust within the gap, the furrows of this time with- the harvest is coming and it will be bounteous. out employment. Although it’s easy to become Don’t get me wrong. I’m not peaches about Rebecca Surmont is a training and development professional dismayed, one cannot ignore the encouragement being “in transition” or as the Brits say, “Work with a background in marketing, business development, com- stemming from renewed human connection— shifting.” (I prefer the word “consulting.” It While a job is the munications and coaching. She has also been a professional phone calls that are suddenly more personal, sounds important.) And I do expect results but I actor and physical theater artist for over 15 years. She lives ultimate goal and exchanges amongst strangers that penetrate a bit realize it’s not all on my timeline. In the mean- with her two dogs in southwest Minneapolis. a necessity, I know more below the surface because we are finally time I’m grateful for the host of people making riches lie where we starting to come to terms with impermanence and calls or connections on my behalf. interdependence. In talking with others in my field, there seems least expect to find It is not easy. There are no guarantees, but I am to be a rise in the hope for humanity, a demand What’sonyouRmind? them, between the ever amazed at how much longer some helping for greater authenticity, wiser leadership, and hands have become; how many more hours there coloring outside the lines. That and a having a Write to us. Commentary submissions must be 450 words coffee meetings and are for the still-employed to conduct informa- sense of humor wherever one can get it. Let’s or less. Email [email protected]. phone calls. tional interviews with job seekers. face it; we’re all just one bad day away from

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฀฀฀฀฀฀฀฀฀[email protected] Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 31 losing everything. So, attitude is everything. Well, almost onyouRmind everything. Having a phone and a computer sure is helpful. Discover New Ways to Create Change in Your Life There’s nothing like a bit of uncertainty to make one more self-aware, creative and just a little nicer to others. tilling the job fi elds If there is suffering in unemployment, I say, suffer with TransitionsWeathering — MovingChange On!

dignity and humor. Be bold. You’ve already lost your job. A little hope and humor helps in the furrows of job loss Now is the time to exercise greater potential and exert inﬂ u- November 4, 2009 ence in ways we couldn’t before. It’s a time to reach further December 2, 2009, 1-4 p.m. 1 – 4 pm

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MILDRED S. HANSON MD, PA Specializing in We can help you Women’s Health and Reproductive Choice find affordable: for more than 35 years Medical Care ฀฀฀ Dental Care ฀ ฀฀฀฀ Mental Health ฀ ฀฀ Coverage ฀฀฀ ฀฀ Health Coverage Assistance ฀฀฀฀฀฀ ฀ ฀฀฀ 651-489-CARE ฀฀฀฀ ฀฀ Or Toll Free: ฀ 866-489-4899 Call for appointments Operated by: 612-870-1334 710 E. 24th St., #403 Mpls, MN 55404 ฀฀฀฀฀฀฀฀฀ www.PorticoHealthnet.org 25-8 cra base, resized 32 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 youRstoRy KathRyn o’connell an alternative farewell Ironically, I had been out drinking champagne with some friends that night. When I got home, I received a message to call my mother. My grandfather had been admitted to the hospital and the doctors there were under the impression that he would never leave. Apparently, he had fallen without telling anyone. He had developed a severe case of pneumonia due to breaking three ribs.

My instant response to the news was that I me a while to fi gure out what to do with the wanted to see him immediately. Even though money. There was no way it would be spent visiting hours were certainly over by 10 p.m., on something basic like groceries. I decided to I wanted to march right over to fi nd him. use my birthday money in a way that would Because she has proven to be a stable voice help me deal with his death. I signed up for a of reason for me over the years, I listened to 10K race. Along with my registration fee, I got Kathryn O’Connell is a psychological practitioner. She my mom when she suggested waiting until a new pair of running shoes. lives in Minneapolis. Running in morning to visit. It took me several hours to Due to a prior knee injury and two recent honor of my fall asleep. In fact, I was up pacing around pregnancies, it had been many years since I gotastoRy? the house until after midnight. Early the next had run an extended distance. It took eight grandfather day, we found out that my dear grandpa had weeks to train. The experience proved to be We’d like to hear it. Some of the best writing we publish defi nitely gave passed away in the middle of the night. I cathartic. At times, I found myself running in comes from readers. For writers’ quidelines, go to www. me strength never got to say goodbye to him. tears thinking about my grandfather. He was womenspress.com and click on “About us.” Email your 450 True to his character, my grandpa spe- often very silly, alternately could ruffl e my personal essay to [email protected] or mail to that day. cifi cally requested that we not arrange a feathers. He absolutely had a heart of gold. I YourStory, Minnesota Women’s Press, 771 Raymond Ave., funeral for him. Later that week, I received pictured the way he would smile, shrug his St. Paul, MN 55114.

my would-be birthday gift from him. It took shoulders and shake his jazz hands. I thought

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H`^V_ j Peace? Troy DeSmet Ë e ...... HR_e \ d K`d\j f B.A., HVPM I&II D N `ee\jfkX STRONG Are you ready to take the 5 pm COMMUNITY BANK! n kitchens n bathrooms steps to live the life of your Sunday n restoration n room additions greatest dreams? n remodeling n storage Nov. 8 Terri Fleming The Reliable Remodeler Call me today for a free session: Keep your money working locally Sr. Vice President www.rrrconstruction.com 612-839-5587 at our growing community bank. [email protected] [email protected] w/Lori Dokken State License #6955 • RESPONSIBLE LENDING Thank you. on Piano • SAFE CAPITAL RATIOS Terri Banaszewski … at the Parkway Plaza • STRONG EARNINGS Vice President Kevin Dutcher/Guitar 4721 Hiawatha Ave. S., Mpls. Make the safe choice. Come to WoNews Free-will offering Get straighter, Park Midway Bank! Kathy Bjerke whiter teeth Vice President Receive St. Paul’s painlessly UNITED CHURCH Get Lumineers MWP’s twice-a-month OF CHRIST Park Midway Bank e-letter! 900 Summit Ave. 612-721-3012 2300 Como Avenue • 2171 University Avenue • St. Paul (651) 523-7800 www.parkmidwaybank.com Member FDIC Sign up today @ St. Paul, MN 55105 www.jakubasdental.com 3822 East Lake Street 651/224-5809 www.womenspress.com Minneapolis (612) 721-9230 spofﬁ[email protected] “We cater to cowards.” www.saint-pauls.com CALL US FOR YOUR SMALL BUSINESS BANKING NEEDS Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 33

about how much he loved the cat I gave him late in his Saint Clair Sunday Evenings, 2009-10 Theme: life, how he often built strange contraptions, the sound of youRstoRy God’s Ancient Etudes: his voice when he was about to eat Thanksgiving dinner, Canticum Novum and the fact he would sometimes cry when I gave him a This hug. Celtic Contemplative Communion  When the day of the big race arrived, I tucked a picture Pilgrim Nov. 8, 6:51 p.m. - silence will be falling into that silence  of him into my pocket. Running in honor of my grand- Lutheran Nordic Contemplative Evening Prayer Church

father deﬁ nitely gave me strength that day. It had been Nov. 22, 6:51 p.m. - I Know How to Abound

raining the night before, which made the course more A Home for 2nd Annual Celtic Christmas Eve Service Hungry Minds & Souls beautiful. There was a crisp chill in the air. It did not December 24, 6:51 p.m.

A Reconciling in Christ

bother me to see other runners passing by. It occurred to Congregation me that each one of us had a purpose in being there. The Rev. Carol Tomer, Lead Pastor A Congregation Caring 1935 St. Clair Avenue at Prior, St. Paul spirit of the race itself was motivating in that sense. for Creation www.pilgrimstpaul.org ~ 651-699-6886 As I made my way through the home stretch, the pain Sunday Worship 8:30 a.m. & 11 a.m.~ Forum 9:45 a.m. in my knee seemed to disappear. Suddenly, I felt like I

could take ﬂ ight. With my chin up and eyes toward the sky, my body soared across the ﬁ nish line. I will always  love you, Papa.  Kathryn O’Connell is a psychological practitioner. She  lives in Minneapolis. 



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We’d like to hear it. Some of the best writing we publish comes from readers. For writers’ quidelines, go to www.

womenspress.com and click on “About us.” Email your

450 personal essay to [email protected] or mail www.healinginsights.net to YourStory, Minnesota Women’s Press, 771 Raymond Ave., St. Paul, MN 55114. Katie Murphy Bloomington: 952.886.4325 Clinic Director Woodbury: 651.222.4325

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Ë e HR_e \ d K`d\j f D N `ee\jfkX Call us when you need a Our kids can’t wait for STRONG better schools! COMMUNITY BANK! for Terri Fleming Keep your money working locally Sr. Vice President Saint Paul School Board at our growing community bank. Jean O’Connell reading to kindergarten students at • RESPONSIBLE LENDING Como Park Elementary • SAFE CAPITAL RATIOS Terri Banaszewski • Experienced: 34 years at 3M • STRONG EARNINGS Vice President managing people, budgets and teams • Committed to Community: Make the safe choice. Come to Served on and led committees to advise Park Midway Bank! the school board and superintendent on Kathy Bjerke key issues. Facilitated district strategic Vice President planning efforts for the St. Paul schools • Endorsed by: St. Paul Federation of Teachers St. Paul Area Chamber Park Midway Bank of Commerce 2300 Como Avenue • 2171 University Avenue • St. Paul Jean O’Connell — Lifetime St. Paul resident, married, lives in Como Park. Graduate of Central High School. (651) 523-7800 www.parkmidwaybank.com Member FDIC Teaching degree from U of MN-Duluth. Two daughters, graduates of Central and C r e t i n - D e r h a m H a l l . www.oconnellforstpaulkids.com Vote for Jean on Tuesday, November 3rd! CALL US FOR YOUR SMALL BUSINESS BANKING NEEDS Prepared and paid for by the O’Connell for School Board Committee, George Latimer, Chair; Amy Filice, Treasurer, 416 Mount Curve Blvd, St. Paul, MN 55116 ฀ Display • Employment • Classiﬁed Display Phone (651) 646-3968 • Fax (651) 646-2186

34 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 Minnesota Women’s Press November 2009 35

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“LAUGH 02” BY KRISTIN HELLE What agle woman maryBeth Support women’s voices! Women garrigan FEBRUARY 2009 jÍËÖÄËj¬ËßÖË¬ÖÍËË Volume 25, Issue 1 Want! innesota omens Press www.womenspress. ÍjË¬jWjÄËÍ~jÍjÁ± com APRIL 2009 readers reveal their favorites In addition to receiving each issue in the mail, when you become a Volume 25, Issue 3 www.womenspress. C com hanging the Universe through women’s Stori C “fan” you can look forward to: hanging the Universe through women’s Stories es n Email updates with an early scoop on stories and requests aË?ËW?ÁjjÁËßÖ¾ËÜjËË counseling rop tenders ÍÁÖ~ËjjËÍjÄÍ~ËË for your input on future topics. ive airy diva and die ?aËW?ÁjjÁËWÖÄj~± from undas green É¤ÔÉÔy¤y¤Ë n An invitation to an annual gathering to connect with other all me o ummy om ummy sometimes ÝÝÝ±¬ÄßW±Ö±jaÖÊ¬Äß?MÄÊÜ?WË like-minded women in conversation, collaboration & community. bama Guerrilla works 7W?Í?ËÄÄjÄÄjÍË W gardeners like a n A free copy of BookWomen magazine. woman : 1 5: .. ance riends with with great Patsy n The satisfaction of knowing that you are supporting women’s grandma line classiFied PRicing: IRIN EBADI BY HEBA AMIN uslim women alking in honored

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A member of electrical. the Minnesota State Colleges and PCL Construction Services, Inc., Attn: Chris Hauck Let our advertisers know o place or nex a call phone 651-646-3968 you saw their ad in the Universities System. Minnesota State 12200 Nicollet Avenue South, Burnsville, Minnesota 55337 Mankato is an Affirmative Action/ To place your ad call 952-882-9600 FAX: 952-882-9900 email adswomenspress.com innesoa omens ress 6516463968 Equal Opportunity University. 6516463968 303 An Equal Opportunity Employer M/F/V/H 38 Minnesota Women’s Press, November 2009 actnow Kathy are you listening? magnuson niting omen lobally to hrive in ur orld To speak up and speak out boldly, to have an opinion and voice it—isn’t that what strong women do? As women, we strive to find and use our voices, our power. If you feel the call to gather, as women, to connect, honor each other and ultimately But, what about listening? It’s the other part of the conversation. Is there power in change our world, we invite you to join us in onoring omen orldwide. listening? Where is it? I’ve participated in several dialogue circles “I see how it looks so different if I want the Our mission is to mobilize women across the globe to honor, recognize and celebrate the contributions of recently where participants speak to the cen- conversation to be for them to see it my way, women, and to leverage their untapped leadership capabilities to positively change our world to enable ter of the circle. You boldly speak with your or if I want the conversation to be a mutual women to thrive. HWW is a multicultural, multigenerational and multifaceted organization. own confident voice while others listen. There exploration. Of course the latter, when truly is no feedback given, no advice, no value held, opens my heart and ears to what is being judgments, either good or bad. It’s the kind said.”—Marcia Hyatt of dialogue that Ginny Belden Charles writes about in her story on page 8. The “whole” of “As a community organizer, I practice listening nearly all the time. I see it as leading through Where do you see this dialogue exchange is powerful—both the STEVEN SOR following. The wisdom is in the room and it is women connecting speaking AND the listening. powerful when it is a collection of ideas. Seems and making change in As we live in a continually polarized world, like there is a time for everything. A time to your world? what if we took the principles of dialogue into speak and a time to listen.”—Rhonda DeBough our everyday lives? What if the Send me your story, magnuson@womens How would our principles of dialogue—respect- “I remember clearly how I felt when I started fully speaking and listening to press.com conversations be bringing full attention to another’s words with- each other—could be effectively out simultaneously preparing my own response. different if we used in town-hall meetings about It was sitting on the couch at my friend Jan’s valued each health care to gain understand- house. I listened, said nothing and gave her a “go ing of differing points of view on.” The “wow” look on her face was priceless. voice equally? instead of yelling at each other? I can’t say that she found a solution to untangle /'%'#$- What if we used these principles her thoughts, but I clearly found the power of The room was full of energy as women in communicating in our families, our work- listening.”—Mimi Jennings /-$%) '((- places, our neighborhoods? gathered at Hamline University on oin us ov. , a.m.noon How would our conversations be different The tagline of the Minnesota Women’s Press Sept. 26 for the Honoring Women if we valued each voice equally? What if we is “Changing the Universe Through Women’s Worldwide event: Shifting Our Paradigms, Honoring Women, Thriving vs. Surviving didn’t speak for our children or partners, but Stories.” That means both telling the stories /%$%' $ '"( let them have their own voices? What if we and hearing the stories. That means speaking Women Leading for a Change. Where: Metropolitan State University, Founders all / "%( $ gave less advice and asked more questions? AND listening. It reminds me that changing Panelists and organizational leaders I asked a few women to share their thoughts the universe can happen in big actions as well Save the ate ec. , a.m. p.m. and experiences of intentionally speaking and as in something as common as how we listen Jamice Obianyo, Cecily Sommers, Debra listening. Here are some of their responses. to each others’ stories. Paterson and Cheryl Persigehl engaged Honoring Celebrating Our Community the audience through their discussion, Where: Azia Restaurant, 550 Nicollet Ave., Minneapolis sharing stories of personal paradigm o register onine or onoring Women Worie events Condo Boards, Apartment Owners and Retail Investors: shifts they’ve encountered throughout or to earn more aout this nami an groing organiation their careers. 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If you feel the call to gather, as women, to connect, honor each other and ultimately change our world, we invite you to join us in onoring omen orldwide. Our mission is to mobilize women across the globe to honor, recognize and celebrate the contributions of women, and to leverage their untapped leadership capabilities to positively change our world to enable women to thrive. HWW is a multicultural, multigenerational and multifaceted organization. STEVEN SOR

/'%'#$- The room was full of energy as women /-$%) '((-gathered at Hamline University on oin us ov. , a.m.noon Sept. 26 for the Honoring Women Honoring Women, Thriving vs. Surviving Worldwide/%$%' event: $ Shifting '"( Our Paradigms, Women Leading for a Change. Where: Metropolitan State University, Founders all / "%( $ Panelists and organizational leaders Save the ate ec. , a.m. p.m. Jamice Obianyo, Cecily Sommers, Debra Paterson and Cheryl Persigehl engaged Honoring Celebrating Our Community the audience through their discussion, Where: Azia Restaurant, 550 Nicollet Ave., Minneapolis sharing stories of personal paradigm o register onine or onoring Women Worie events shifts they’ve encountered throughout or to earn more aout this nami an groing organiation their careers. Each told stories of how or honoringomenorieorg positive> thinking, risk taking, and doing >,%2+-2+3967)0:)783the “tough stuff” got them through. >') "()&(83%%6-2+'3231-'7

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