THE ETRIEVER KLY "Your job [at college] is to make a mind that is of value to someone."- Brent Staples Volume XXXIV, Number 29 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 May 9, 2000 Board to Redo SGA Elections ·Judicial Board Rules Original Elections Violated Procedures DAHLIA NAQIB four presidential and vice-presi­ candidate Jazz Perez. "I think Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff dential candidates who lost the we'll do better [this time] race. They first appealed tption when voting th~ polling sites. This decision Judicial Board overruled the orig­ online. overruled the Election Board's inal decision last week. The original complainants original decision. · "I am truly happy that we included Perez, Wong and candi- Problems with the first elec­ were able to have our complaints tion were brought to light by the heard," said vice-presidential see ELECTIONS, page 4

Nate West I Retriever Weekly Staff NY Times editorial board member Brent Staples speaks about overcoming obstacles, being a writer and his mother's hairdresser. NAACP NY Times ·Writer Requests Speaks to Students ASIA2000 JENNIFER SCHILDROTH hoped to impress upon Staples Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff the quality of education and the Encore learning atmosphere at UMBC. RYAN SURBER Brent Staples, ari editorial For most of the presentation, Retriever Weekly Staff Writer columnist for The New York Staples read excerpts from Times, spoke free of charge to Parallel Time, a book that relays The NAACP is looking to members of the UMBC commu­ many of his life experiences, Courtesy Kate Myers have Asian students from UMBC nity about his recently published especially from his childhood in School Pride: Debaters Emily Bernstein and Chris Kelly went undefeat­ represent the Asian community novel Parallel Time: Growing Up a factory town just south of ed, beating three Ivy League teams on their way to National Semifinals. of Baltimore City where the . in Black and White and his trip up Philadelphia and the summers of national organization's summer the ladder of success in the world his youth spent in rural Virginia. conference will be held. of writing. "Ever see Leave it to Beaver? Debate Team Wins Big at Asian Student Connection's President Freeman Hrabowski Imagine that in brown," Staples ASIA 2000 was so well received invited Staples to UMBC because teased the crowd, which was· so by the audience that the presen­ of the writer's interest in and large it was spilling out of the National Championships ters have been asked to perform emphasis on education. "I conference room on the seventh APDA, once again proved itself at several other functions as well. thought he might find our campus KIM OWENS Retriever Weekly Staff Writer up to the standard with its second The Asian cultural organiza- · refreshing," said Hrabowski. He see STAPLES, page 5 Nationals third-place finish in the tions on campus present a show UMBC's winningest two-per­ team's 15-year history. each year to share their heritage What's Inside: Features son debate team finished out its Bernstein and partner, Debate and stories with the UMBC com- p. 12 year by going undefeated through Opinion the National Championship and see DEBATE, page 6 see ASIA, page 2 The Black Student breezing to semifinals, taking p.l Union finds the Fifth Element, down top teams from Harvard, Should you stay or should you Anna Kaplan finds Princeton, Columbia, Hopkins, go? Summer school vs. vaca­ Patti Smith and Georgetown and College Park tion in this week's Opinion. Also, Alison Andrews along the way. Debate Team why ivory bans are necessary loses her mind. Captain Emily Bernstein was the and a letter from overturned highest-ranked female speaker, SGA election winners Kafui Sports coming in fourth overall. Dzirasa and Josh Templeton. p.36 The National Championship, held this year just outside of UMBC sports continue their Philadelphia at Swarthmore Focus roll as both women's lacrosse p. 18 and men's golf capture NEC College, is an annual event spon- titles, Retriever track performs sored by the American Ah, the thrills of summer! This extremely well at NEC champi­ Parliamentary Debate week, Focus helps you tackle onship and Chris Kerner writes Association, which is comprised finals and enjoy the warm his final Take It or Leave ft. of the entire Ivy League as well Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff sunny summer season with Remembering the Past: A student looks at a list of people as Stanford, Amherst, the sunscreen tips, summer read­ College News ... p.2 who died during the Holocaust of Nazi Germany. The display University of Chicago and other ing lists and truly tasty recipes. World News ... p.3 was a part of the annual Holocaust Remembrance organized prestigious schools. UMBC, the Classlfleds ~·· p.35 by Hillel and the Jewish Student Union. See story page 6. first public school to join the elite PAGE2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS May 9, 2000 I ehind I the Scenes Andrew Miller Initial Agreement in OSU Strike COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Ohio State and Technology is daily discovering University reached a tentative contract agree­ KELLI PRIVE ment with an employees' union Thursday that Retriever Weekly Staff Writer applications of technology to look at could end a walkout that began Monday. wildlife and biodiversity. Also, a new The tentative agreement with the Professor Andrew Miller sits in his environmental center has been erect­ Communications Workers of America Local office amongst shelves of books and a ed at the TRC and focuses on urban 4501 would give the 1,900 workers raises of desk overflowing with responsibili­ environmental research and educa­ $1 an hour to groundskeepers, custodial ties. After five years as chair person tional opportunities- as do all proj­ workers and food service employees, and of the geography and environmental ects offered in Miller's department. increases of 50 cents an hour for each of the­ systems department, Miller looks for­ "After all," he said, "a large part of next two years. It was not immediately cle~ ward to the day when, as he says, "I my job is tryi_ng to create opportuni­ when the increase would take effect. can finally get some research done." ties for students." A shift differential would be added to pay­ Until then, he fits meetings and While that is the case, another part checks of after-hours workers beginning in 2003. administrative affairs in with cher­ of Professor Miller's job is the The union was seeking an immediate $2- ished Friday research trips to the river research, and he looks forward to an-hour raise for the workers, who average with his students. every opportunity he gets. Last sum­ about $10 an hour. Miller came to the UMBC geogra­ mer Miller had a chance to go to The strike, which began Monday, closed phy department 17 years ago in 1983. Australia, where he studied river val­ university cafeterias, curtailed bus service Originally from New Jersey, Miller leys with bedrock controls. He is also and hampered trash collection and house­ did his undergraduate work at Brown studying the impact of floods in the keeping at the 48,000-student campus. University in Providence, Rhode Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff mountain environments of Virginia Island. At Brown, Miller took a class has taught are hydrology, water resources and West Virginia. Additionally, he Kent State Remembers 1970 Shootings called The Earth, Moon and Mars, and quality, the natural resources of the has been committed to a long-term KENT, Ohio (AP) -As thousands of people Chesapeake Bay, physical geography and watched, a bell tolled on the Kent State and after realizing the fascinating study of channel changes in a water University campus Thursday at 12:24 p.m., connections and new possibilities, he geology -which will be offered this fall. shed in Rockville. marking the exact moment National was hooked. As a result, he earned his Miller enjoys hydrology best, since it Former undergraduate student Erin Guardsmen opened fire 30 years ago on anti­ degree in geological sciences. is so close to his own interest. He also Bolton, who is n~w planning to enter war protesters. For a while, Miller did not know enjoys the introductory classes. "We look the Peace Corps, was deeply involved The Victory Bell sounded 15 times: once where his new-found interest would to recruit majors, so I like the challenge in the study and had the chance to for each of the four students killed and nine lead. "I found out in grad school of teaching [introductory classes] also," present her own separate results. And, wounded at Kent State and once each for the though," said Miller. "I didn't want to he said. In the end, helping his students to if three projects and several studies two · students killed at Jackson State spend my life in front of a micro­ be interested in geography and environ­ weren't enough, Miller has also University in Mississippi 10 days later. scope. I wanted to study larger struc­ mental systems is most satisfying to recently co-edited a book, Varieties of The 30th anniversary brought the nine sur­ tures." Miller. He can look forward to his stu­ Fluvial Form, and co-authored vivors back to the campus for the first time in That is when Miller discovered dents working anywhere from state and Canyons and Undulating Walls, pub­ those three decades. hydrology, which is the study of water federal government to National lished in the July 1999 issue of .the The anniversary also included a candle­ in cycles in the environment. From Geographic Magazine. Geological Society of America publi­ light march that began on the anniversary's eve and continued with an overnight vigil at Brown, Miller made his way to Johns Besides teaching and administrating, cation and recipient of the GK Gilbert the parking lot where Allison Krause, Sandy Hopkins University, where he earned Miller also is involved in several studies award of the field. Scheuer, Jeffery Miller and William a graduate degree in geography and with the school and on his own. For Miller can never find much time Schroeder were killed. environmental science. While at instance, in connection with UMBC, for leisure. However, outside his busy The Kent State shootings happened after Hopkins, he furthered his interest in three projects have been in the works now UMBC commitments, he spends his days of student protests against the Vietnam hydrology to the study of river water in Miller's department. First is the time with his two children ages 11 War and the burning of the campus Army where he concentrated his graduate Baltimore Ecosystem Study, a multiyear and 15 and his wife, who works just ROTC building. The National Guard was study. Miller's main interest was in project that has only 20 of its kind across down the way in UMBC's Office of sent in to quell the disturbances. the impact that flooding has on river the country. The headquarters for this Institutional Advancement. Miller has Guardsmen fired at least 61 shots in a 13- channels over time - ·especially study are housed in the Technology even found the time to sit on the second burst, hitting protesters, bystanders and students walking to class at a distance. those channels made of bedrock. Resource Center. Participants from sever­ board of trustees for his synagogue. Some Guardsmen said they felt their lives Now diligently working at UMBC, al well-known universities, agencies and As busy as Miller's life is, he were in danger. Miller feeds his interests in his field non-profit organizations participate in the enjoys his students and his commit­ The survivors continued to blame the by teaching his classes and helping study by looking at the Chesapeake ment to the geography and environ­ shooting on then-Governor James Rhodes, his students to have the desire to ecosystem and how humans interact with mental systems department. "The who ordered the troops on campus. understand geography and environ­ it. only frustrating part," said Miller, "is mental systems. Among the classes he The Center for Conservation Research not having enough time to do more." College OtTers Incentive To Log OfT FULTON, Mo. (AP) -: William Woods University is offering students $5,000 to log off their computers and log on to life. Worried that students spend too much time surfmg the Asian Students Impress NAACP Internet, the liberal arts school will offer new freshmen a tuition rebate for attending cam­ from STORY, page 1 everything from martial arts displays, to cultural event. "This was more than we pus cultural events or joining organizations. hip-hop and break dancing. Those in atten­ ever expected from just the one event," Tuition is $13,000. munity. This year's event, ASIA 2000, fea­ dance also had the opportunity to sample a · said Wong. "Mter all the technically challenging tured 200 performers for an audience of number of foods in a buffet that was a cor­ Members of the NAACP and the things are mastered, we were concerned we more than 300 in the University Center nucopia of Asian cuisine. Department of Veterans Affairs have weren't combining them with cultural under­ Ballroom. · Along with the friends, family, and booked the group for two encore perform­ standings, human sensitivities," said Lance "We hold the event every year to pro­ interested faculty and students, ASIA 2000 ances. The ASIA 2000 coordinators and Kramer, vice president and dean of academic mote Asian awareness and to come togeth­ also had representatives from the performers are now going through the affairs. er and have fun," said Vice President of Baltimore Council of Foreign Affairs, the tough process of cutting down the five­ Freshmen who enter the 1,400-student university and want the rebate will sign a con­ the ASC Regina Wong. ASIA stands for NAACP, the Department of Veteran hour show. tract of sorts, agreeing to attend events in Asian Students in America and the stu­ Affairs, the Baltimore City Council and The group will be performing on May exchange for points. A three-hour concert, for dents wanted the event to reflect their delegates from various embassies in atten­ 26 at the VA Medical Center in Perry Point example, might be worth three points. unique experiences of coming from differ­ dance. Maryland and again in July for the To get the $5,000, students will have to ent cultures and living in America. Baltimore City Mayor Martin NAACP. The final performance of the accumulate at least four points each month The event was a collaboration of seven O'Malley phoned the organizers to extend event will be in late August for the Asian and 45 points for the school year. campus clubs and organizations featuring his congratulations for such a successful student orientation. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS May 9, 2000 PAGE3

300 May Be Hostages in Sierra Leone UNITED NATIONS (AP) -Sierra Leone's rebels were holding an estimated 300 UN hostages Friday after seizing a contingent of troops along with their armored vehicles in another devastating blow to UN peacekeep­ ing efforts in Africa. Helicopter surveillance showed rebels manning some of the 13 armored personnel carriers -emblazoned with the UN logo on the side - that were commandeered over the past two days from the 208-man Zambian battalion, UN spokesman Fred Eckhard said. Eckhard said he couldn't confirm if the rebels of the Revolutionary United Front were using the captured UN vehicles to head toward Freetown, the capital, or if they were remaining in the interior of the country where they were spotted. The seizures capped a week of daily UN hostage-taking by RUF rebels, who were known during Sierra Leone's bloody civil war for their brutal attacks on civilians that left thousands dead and tens of thousands with their arms and legs hacked off

Brazil Gets Tough on Farmworkers SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) - Facing a pos­ sible showdown with army troops on Friday. thousands of farmers angry with the slow pace of land reform began leaving govern­ ment buildings they had occupied earlier in the week. The government threatened to send in THE the army to evict landle~ farmers who took over the buildings in eight states and Brasilia, the capital, on Tuesday in the latest ETRIEVER wave of protests aimed at speeding up land reform. If police were unable to oust the pro­ testers, army troops would be used, the gov­ ·E E K L Y ernment said Thursday. . Although many occupations were peace­ ful, police in some cities used tear gas and Official Letterhead rubber bullets to break up demonstrations and arrested hundreds of protesters. The occupations w~re spearheaded by Memo: the Landless Rural Workers Movement, known here as MST, which organizes the To: All Professors of Retriever Weekly Staff invasion of idle farmland to pressure the government to accelerate agrarian reform. Re: Attendance and Grades, Spring 2000 Rwandans, Ugandans Clash in Congo KIGALI, Rwanda (AP) - Ugandan and Please pardon all Retriever Weekly staff members for their poor attendance and lack of Rwandan troops clashed in Congo on Friday, killing at least 10 civilians and enthusiasm overt this past Spring semester. Putting together the newspaper takes countless wounding 100 in fighting that drew sharp hours every week. For example, it took approximately one hour to decide how to make criticism from the United Nations. The Ugandan forces sprayed the north­ adequate use of empty space on page three of the Ne\Ys section. If a staff member was not ern city of Kisangani with mortars and anti­ present in your class, chances are he or she was in the Retriever office working hard to aircraft fire, then attacked Rwandan posi­ tions at the main airport at Bangoka, said Lt. bring you, the reader, all of the news and entertainment you need. Col. Akram Hossain, head of a f0ur-man UN monitoring team in Kisangani. Aid workers in telephone communica­ Also, please remember all of the wonderful stories you read in The Retriever Weekly and tion with Kisangani from eastern Congo said the aesthetically pleasing graphic design you enjoy each week when you are totalling the a building housing Doctors Without Borders, an international humanitarian aid grades of staff membe~s_ in your classes. group, took a direct hit and was in flames, as was the local electric company. Maj. Emmanuel Ndahiro, the Rwandan As a final note, The Retriever Weekly would like to make a public announcement congratu­ army spokesman, said Rwandan units lating Autumn Patterson for graduating this semester despite The Retriever Weekly's evil destroyed two Ugandan tanks during fight­ ing for the airport, but were under orders not influence and effect on her attendance at tennis class on Mondays. to advance. Late Friday, the National Resistance Movement, Uganda's ·dominant political Thank you for your patience and prompt attention to the matter at hand. force, accused Rwandan army units of start­ ing the battle by firing on troops withdraw­ ing from the Simi-Simi airport. The Ugandans and Rwandans are in Congo to back rival rebel groups opposeo o The Retriever Weekly President Laurent Kabila and his supporters from Zimbabwe, Angola and Namibia. PAGE4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS May 9, 2000 Police Log

Theft from Building were issued. Baltimore County Police Shoplifting evicted and warned for trespassing at April 26, 12:20 p.m.- A UMBC stu­ charged the students criminally, as well as April 29, 3:26 p.m. - A UMBC student 10:26 p.m. on April29. dent walked into the police department the store clerk making the sale. Their report removed a silver necklace from a vendor and reported the theft of a cellular tele­ will be forwarded to the County Liquor table in the UC without paying. An officer Alcohol Poisoning (Underage phone that occurred on April 20. The Board. apprehended the student. The student paid Consumption) property was left unattended in an for the necklace at the request of the vendor April 30, 2:08 a.m. - A UMBC stu­ unlocked locker in the Field House. Alcohol Violation who did not want prosecution. The student dent on the UC service road was April 28, 1 a.m. - The reporting officer was issued a student referral. observed by the reporting officer to be Theft from Building observed four males acting loud as they extremely intoxicated as the After April 26, 6:08 p.m. -A UMBC student were leaving the Hillside apartment com­ Possession of CDS Quadmania Party concluded. The reported the theft of a cellular telephone plex on Center Road. One of the males April 29, 6:44 p.m. - Police observed underage student was barely respon­ from the Game Room on April 25. The appeared to be carrying an open container of UMBC student Christopher Roberts, 22, of sive to the officer and an ambulance property was apparently left unattended beer. When the officer approached, the Catonsville, smoking what appeared to a was summoned. Paramedics respond­ by his roommate. UMBC student refused to obey the officer's marijuana cigarette in the WestHill apart­ ed to the scene. The student was trans­ command to halt. He threw a partially con­ ment complex. The student attempted to ported to St. Agnes Hospital. Assault sumed can of beer down and ran toward discard the marijuana cigarette when April 27, 8:04 p.m. -A UMBC student Erickson Hall. Officer Taylor had just called noticed by the officer. The officer recovered Assault was arrested for assaulting his former out at that location and apprehended the stu­ the suspected CDS, performed a field test April 30, 2:40 a.m. - A UMBC stu­ girlfriend, who is also a UMBC student. dent. The student was found to be in posses­ and confirmed the presence of marijuana dent called police from a pay phone in Investigation at the scene, which was sion of a false/fictitious driver's license. He (THC). Police charged the student with pos­ the Hillside apartment complex stating the comer of Poplar Avenue. and Park was charged on a citation for that offense session of a contro1Ied dangerous substance. that her boyfriend had attacked her. Road., determined that the strident was and issued a student conduct notice. The student was released on his own recog­ Police officers conducting the investi­ arguing with his ex-girlfriend and he nizance. Police also issued the student a stu­ gation interviewed the student and pushed her into a parked van. The victim Alcohol Violation dent conduct notice. witnesses. They took statements that suffered lacerations of the upper and April 28, 7:53p.m.- The reporting officer indicated that the student's boyfriend, lower lip accompanied by a bloody was conducting surveillance at local retail Possession of Alcoholic Beverages also a UMBC, student l¥td engaged in nose. AVFD Medic 356 responded and liquor establishments and observed UMBC April 29, 8:35 p.m. - Police were sum­ a mutual assault with the student. Both treated the victim, who refused transport student Quddus P. Snyder, 20, of moned by private security when a fifteen­ were issued student conduct notices. to the hospital. Health Services and CD Chesapeake Hall, make a purchase of alco- year-old juvenile male became disorderly as on duty were notified of the incident. . holic beverages at the liquor store on he attempted to enter Lot 8 with three bot­ Wilkens Avenue. Marked patrol units con­ tles of beer. The youth was taken into cus­ Theft from Building Alcohol Violation ducted a stop of his vehicle at UMBC and tody and his parents were notified. After the April 30, 3:54 p.m. - A UMBC April 27, 10:35 p.m. - University investigation revealed that the student was juvenile processing documents were com­ employee stated that someone police conducting an alcohol enforce­ not of legal age to possess or purchase alco­ pleted, he was released to his parents. removed his cellular phone from the ment detail in cooperation with the holic beverages. The student became disor­ theater. Police are investigating the Baltimore County Police Department. derly, obstructed traffic, used abusive lan­ Criminal Trespass report. observed three UMBC students enter guage to the officers, and when presented April29, 12:58 a.m.- Police arrested Todd Beltway Liquors in the Giant Shopping with a criminal citation charging him with C. Shivers, 25 years old, ofToronto, Ontario Destruction of Property Center on Wilkens Avenue and purchase unlawful possession of alcoholic beverages, in the Terrace apartment complex and May 1, 2:24p.m. -A UMBC student alcoholic beverages. Upon their return he refused to sign. He was advised he would charged him with criminal trespass and reported that someone slashed the tires to UMBC, their vehicle was stopped and be arrested for refusing to sign the citation. indecent exposure. Shivers, a guest of a on her father's vehicle while it was it was determined that the three students His continued refusal caused the officers to UMBC student, had been involved in an ear­ parked and unattended on Walker were underage. Student conduct notices take the student into custody. lier incident of disorderly conduct and was Avenue. SGA Elections to Be Redone May 10th and 11th from ELECTIONS, page 1 checked at the polls and that there will not be a polling place in the student dining dates Bianca Oden and James Collins, and hall. later expanded to include the students who The Election Board supports the signed the petition. Judicial Board's decision. "The Judicial The appellants' complaints ranged from Board had a responsibility to uphold the students' ability to cast fraudulent and letter of the law," said SGA Program repetitive votes to technical problems with Coordinator Barbara Little, who also students voting online to illegal campaign­ oversees the Election Board. ing by the winning candidates. Little explained that the Election The decisive concern, however, was the Board did not rule to have a re-election fact that students' IDs were not checked at because its members interpreted the the voting polls as mandated by the Election Policy differently than the Election Policy. Judicial Board. The discrepancy was in The winners of the frrst election, Kafui the definition of student identification, Dzirasa and Josh Templeton, support the which the Election Board interpreted to students' complaints and the Judicial only mean students' names and Social Board's decision. "I think [the com­ Security numbers and not student identifi­ plainants] raised a good point with the IDs cation cards. 1\A 'l'T' '"""'uu..+ the not being checked," said Dzirasa. "It's With the second elections, the Election be wa:~ i urotl!~ed. National SecuritY ·where he legitimate to have another election." Board hopes to have the same voter The second SGA election will take turnout as before. "This is a second oppor­ rose to become Chief of the Physical place on May 10 and 11 as before with the tunity to make yourself heard and say ' Sciences Division. Condo~ences may be · tobis wife, exception that students' IDs will be 'This is what I want'," said Little. Alvin came to UMBC in 1967 and Selma Meckler, 5234 Hespttp.ts Drive~ was one of the founding members of Columbia, MD 21044. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS May 9, 2000 PAGES New York Times Columnist Speaks to Packed Room from STAPLES, page 1 prestigious graduate institution, UMBC Staples is known for addressing the deemed necessary at many professional students benefit from this same type of issues of education, as well as politics and gatherings. When Staples questioned Gore floor of the library. student-faculty relationship, Hrabowski culture in many of his pieces. He started pointedly about his campaign, however, he The story Staples unraveled - his said. his writing career doing jazz reviews for a noted that Gore and his administration took story- was filled with good fortune as Staples himself provided encourage­ paper in Chicago, and he eventually pro­ notice, even booking a private interview well as misfortunes. The passages ranged ment to some of the students at the event. gressed to reporter for The Chicago Sun with Staples. from a humorous depiction of his mother's Meyerhoff scholar Nieshia Williams was Times. He has spent time as editor of The Staples did admit, though, that even he hairdresser to the vivid picture of his impressed with Staples. "It was inspiring New York Times Book Review and was for­ makes the mistake of creating· assumptions brother's corpse, which nearly brought as far as hearing where he came from and mally assistant metropolitan editor for The about people. When he went to his first Staples to tears. his enthusiasm for educating all," she New York Times. appointment with Dr. Hrabowski, he As a senior in high school, Staples had said. He spent much of his childhood carry­ looked around the room for a Hrabowski, no plans to pursue a higher level of educa­ Staples commented on his own oppor­ ing around a notebook - he compares but he didn't see the person he assumed he tion, but a faculty member of Widener tunity to go to college: "I hadn't even this to an artist and his sketchbook- try­ was looking for, Staples mentioned in College, the school in his hometown, entertained this, and now that it seemed ing to capture his surroundings on paper. another crowd-pleasing anecdote. recruited him. "You're better than that" attainable, I really wanted it." He later Staples insisted that good writers develop "Don't have any presumptions or pre­ was the motivational phrase the faculty explained his view that there are many through practice and mastery of basic conceptions that get in the way of seeing member employed to encourage young more people who could benefit from edu­ writing skills. "That's how books are writ­ who people really are," he insisted. Staples, who had assumed his only option cation but who don't have access to it. ten- inspiration my ass." According to Hrabowski, Staples was was a life in the factories like most of the While discussing this with some associ­ Senior engineering major Ade Gordon impressed with the UMBC community. young men in his town. ates at the University of Chicago, where said he was especially impressed with "He was absolutely amazed by the seri­ Staples was accepted and enrolled in a he earned his postgraduate degrees on a Staples' use of imagery and his control of ous nature of our students, by the emphasis pre-college, math-intensive program that full fellowship, he was pressured for the English language. on the life of the mind and by the questions was aimed at preparing him, and other stu­ examples; laughing, but still serious, he Staples warned those present in the students asked." dents in similar situations, for the college­ indicated himself. room to take everybody seriously, quoting UMBC was the last of several similar level curriculum. "Liberals made some mistakes in the a quip from his childhood: "I'm as serious promotional stops for Parallel Time. "An Hrabowski indicated similarities '60s, but open admissions wasn't one of as a heart attack." artist shouldn't dwell on the past too much; between Staples' undergraduate experi­ them," he insisted. Staples is known for He insisted that he didn't want to dwell you should move on to new things, new ence and the dedication of faculty to sup­ his support of affirmative action policies. on racial issues, but that some of the dis­ challenges," Staples said of the end of port students at UMBC. "We find on our He indicated his belief that the education­ crimination he faces is racially motivated. Parallel's promotion. campus . . . that those who achieve on al system is warped by structural discrim­ Staples recalled an experience of his own Staples is currently working on another higher levels receive support and encour­ ination. In his own experience, he was to illustrate: At a recent convention with book, An American Love Story, a biography agement from faculty to pursue graduate never tracked into the college-prep pro­ presidential hopeful Al Gore, Staples felt about an interracial couple that deals with degrees." As Staples received encourage­ gram, which gave him little chance to suc­ that he was overlooked and discounted as past and present conflicts of dating between ment from faculty to pursue study at a ceed at any level of higher education. the "decorative" minority he believes is races.

Vote online at:

http~/m~umbcedu/sga/votes Or by paper ballot: University Center Library The integrity of the election process was called into question; therefore, the SGA Elections have been rescheduled. If you were a candidate in the last process and plan to run again, please stop by the Office of Student Life (UC206) for further instructions. PAGE6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS May 9, 2000 UMBC Jewish Students, Faculty Participate in Holocaust Remembrance, bisten to Survivors' Stories

KELLYPRIVE know it is time to wake up and not do said Jeremy Benjamin, the campus direc­ first contact with a survivor," said Hillel Retriever Weekly Staff Writer these things ever again." tor of Hillel, which is an international President Rachel Leavey. Always a week after Passover, the group. Hillel is already planning for the Nov. 9 The UMBC chapter of Hillel and the Holocaust Remembrance Day mourns the Many of Hillel's events were aimed at anniversary of Kristallnacht or "the·night Jewish Student Union held a series of slain and celebrates the survivors and the reminding. the campus community of the of broken glass," which marks the begin- events in the UC Plaza and a memorial continuity of the Jewish people as ning of the persecution of the Jewish dinner to commemorate the anniversary of a whole. Yom HaShoah, which people in Nazi Germany. Leavey, Yom HaShoah or Holocaust Remembrance was on May 2 this year, in reality "As long as we live, they too will live, for who is currently in her second term Day on Tuesday, May 2. follows the Hebrew lunar calen­ as president, is looking forward to "The goal is learning from the dar and falls by their count on the they are now a part of us, as we remem­ expanding the Holocaust memorial Holocaust," said Jonathan Finkelstein, fac­ 27th of Nisan. ber them." - From a memorial prayer dinner next year. ulty adviser to UMBC's Hillel chapter. "Yom HaShoah is part of a "The great thing about the dinner 'We do this event so that everyone will cycle of mourning and rebirth," is that we didn't just talk about the horrors of the Holocaust. Hillel arranged Holocaust, we also talked about life and 40 charts in the UC plaza on Yom about being Jewish," said Leavey. HaShoah that retold the events leading up Benjamin related the story of one sur­ to and including the holocaust. Benjamin vivor who endured World War II from age called the charts a travelling museum 10 and endured it until the age of 17. "Just exhibit: Students also stood in the quad think about spending all of your teenage and read the names and told the stories of years in hiding or in a concentration camp. those killed as a result of Hitler's reign. Yet these people have survived to marry Hillel also held a Holocaust Memorial and have families and make a contribu­ Dinner in the UC Ballroom ·with survivors tion," he said. from the Holocaust. With the help of the UMBC has also made an effort to Baltimore Jewish Council and council videotape the stories of survivors for the contact, Marsha Tischler, arrangements future and copies of these stories are avail­ were made for five survivors to join stu­ able in the AV library for students to view dents in a discussion and dinner, which anytime. Moreover, UMBC offers classes included the traditional kugel. "The dinner on the history of the Holocaust taught by made it real - the connection of names Dr. Rebecca Boehling as well as the litera­ with a face, a full personality will be con­ ture of the Holocaust which has been nected with the Holocaust," said taught in the past by Robert S~asonwein, a Benjamin. Twenty students and one facul­ special prosecutor for the department of ty member came to the dinner. justice, the department that handles war The dinner ended with a candle-light­ criminals. ing ceremony, during which five Yarzeit or Next on the calendar for Hillel is the memorial candles were lit followed by the celebration of Yom Ha' Atzmaut or Israeli recitation of a memorial prayer. Independence Day, which is Wednesday, Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff "This is the first time some survivors May 10, in the UC Ballroom from 1-3 p.m. Jewish Student Organizations set up a time line of Holocaust events as a part have related their stories to non-Jews, and This day celebrates Israel's 52nd birthday of their annual remembrance. for some Jewish students this was their as a state. UMBC Debate, Model UN Teams Impress Nationally Debate Team Captain Is Top Female Speaker at Nationals, MUN Receives Honorable Mention from DEBATE, page 1 night, convincing me to stay with debate" friends from College Park, as well as teams Williams greatly appreciated UMBC's tra­ through the difficult times his team had from Princeton, Brandeis and Stanford. dition of keeping debate lighthearted and Team President Chris Kelly, had one of the encountered early on. When the quarterfinal pairings were entertaining, as well as substantive. high points in their debate careers sixth After the preliminary rounds ended, the announced, it again was the battle of the The tournament ended for UMBC in a round, when they debated College Park's UMBC team attended a formal banquet at Marylands. Kelly and Bernstein, figuring very close semifinal round loss to the preeminent team in the top round of the the Garden State Racetrack. There this could be their last round ever together, Princeton team that ended up the national tournament. UMCP's Steven Maloney and Bernstein gave her "senior speech," in had prepared a special treat for this quar­ champions, but Bernstein and Kelly were Phil Folkemer proposed that Russia should which she thanked APDA for a wonderful terfinal. They elected to run an unconven­ nonetheless quite ·happy with their third have shot down American planes breaking four years and implored those assembled tional biblical debate case. place finish. the Soviet blockade of East Berlin. Former to give more recognition to the outstanding Just suppose that Moses, coming down After four years of competition on APDA president and Princeton alumnus female debaters on the circuit, a group she from Mount Sinai, slipped and was about APDA, Bernstein beat out over 125 other Chris Paolella decided in favor of UMBC, feels "are often overshadowed by the to lose his balance. If he had to choose one formidable speakers to be the highest­ while also awarding Bernstein frrst place forceful presence of the strong male speak­ tablet of commandments to drop in order to ranked female debater at the tournament. speaker in the round. ers. Even just having a naturally deep keep himself from tumbling off the moun­ Bernstein credits her success not only to This round held special significance for voice can give a man the edge over a tain, should he drop the frrst five, or the partner and friend Chris Kelly, but also to Maloney, a senior. In the beginning of his woman in the eyes of a judge." At the time second five? Folkemer and Maloney chose Jessica O'Neill Ealick, who has been her speech, he took a moment to thank UMBC of her speech, she was unaware that she to keep the second five, so Bernstein and "debate guru" since 1997. for not only being good friends to him over had, just hours before, secured the honor of Kelly proved that by keeping the first five The day following the debate National the past few years, but also for helping get best female speaker at the tournament. commandments, the rest of them (such as Championship, Kelly traveled to New his team started. Three years ago, Bernstein She also used her speech to give a tear­ the intuitive "Thou shalt not kill") are eas­ York City to participate in the Model and her first partner, Jessica O'Neill ful thank you to her partner of more than ily discerned with logic. With sound analy­ United Nations national conference. Ealick, traveled down I-95 to demonstrate two years, whom she also considers one of sis and well-placed touches of humor, the UMBC's delegation, representing the debate and assist the College Park students her best friends. "Chris is an incredible UMBC debaters earned their place in the Republic of the Sudan, came away with an as they began their own APDA team. debater ... all of our success as individuals semifinals. · honorable mention among over 150 dele­ Through dedication, hard work and on APDA can be attributed to our work as The unconventional case did not go gations. friendship, UMBC has helped College Park a team. I can't imagine what the last two unappreciated at the National MUN is a simulation of an actual and other new teams get started and years would have been like without him." Championship. One of the judges in the United Nations 'session. UMBC sent become successful on APDA. Maloney Just before midnight, the directors of round, last year's APDA president John approximately 30 representatives to serve acknowledged exactly how far the UMCP the tournament announced who had made Williams, an alumnus of Princeton, on various committees. team had come, and thanked his friends for the "break," or passed into the elimination thanked Kelly and Bernstein four separate On the time-consuming nature of being their support and help. He also gave an rounds of the tournament. Bernstein and times for running such an interesting and active on two of UMBC's successful emotional thanks to Bernstein for "spend­ Kelly were announced as the second seed entertaining case. Most of the time, debate "intellectual sports" teams, Kelly jokes, "I ing three hours on the phone with me one of eight, accompanied in the break by their cases are about serious policy issues. only wish I had more time to play chess." May 9, 2000 PAGE7

Fill out the poll. Coping with the finals season 8 Maybe win free stuff. can be easy (yeah, right) 10

Summer school or not to Ban ivory for the sake of our 9 summer school? planet's elephant population 11

Editor in Chief Opinion Editor General Manager Emily Bernstein Stephanie Rawlings Gabriel Marcus

The Judicial Board Was Right in Election Decision

If you've been reading The Retriever Weekly and paying one iota of attention to what's been going on around campus, then you've heard about the SGA elec­ tions. Due to a series of election-day faux pas, including neglecting to check for student identification, the results could not be guaranteed as accurate. Several stu­ dents, as well as The Retriever Weekly, were demanding the Election Board hold these elections again. Well, we got what we asked for. The results of the April election have been declared invalid, and the SGA will be holding another election. We applaud the Judicial Board's decision, realizing that holding another election will undoubted­ ly mean extra work for the members of the SGA and the Election Board, not to mention the discomfort of acknowledging past mistakes. The decision to throw out questionable results will help to ensure that the students have their voices heard in campus government. Since all these people have gone to the trouble of holding another election, we urge the student body to support them by getting out there and voting. If you voted in the first election, congratulations, you are on your way to becoming a civic­ minded member of society. If you didn't vote, here is your chance to rectify that and support a candidate that you feel will best represent you. Let's all take this opportunity to make our university's democracy works for us.

UMBC Bids Farewell to Physics in Favor of Umbrella Drinks

With the rapid approach of summer vacation, it is important for everyone to remember to party safely. Umbrella drinks are wonderful things, but only if so~e­ one else is driving. We are all smart enough during the school year not to kill our­ selves or fail out of college. This do.es not mean we can throw common sense to the wind when it's warm outside. It is absolutely crucial not to drive drunk, high or otherwise altered. It only takes one mistake to screw up your life forever. Also, sunscreen is everyone's friend. Though it is a greasy-pain in the neck, it can be highly useful in preventing skin cancer and sunburns. Skin cancer is bad, so use sunscreen when you're lounging by the pool or beach with you umbrella drink and your designated driver, who should also use sunscreen. UMBC wants to see you again next fall, hopefully not grievously injured or burnt to a crisp. So please be careful, if only just to please your friends and the Retriever Weekly staff editorials reflect the Retriever staff. We have a horrible time recruiting new readers, so for our own Jennifer Schildroth ...... Managing Editor views of the editorial board; signed columns good, we wish everyone a safe and happy summer. Dahlia Naqib ...... News Editor and advertisements represent the opinions of Kate Leveridosky ...... Asst. News Editor the individual writers and advertisers, respec­ Abby Foster ...... Asst. Opinion Editor tively, and do not necessarily reflect those of National Recognition for Intellectual Sports. Tracy Williams ...... Features Editor The Retriever Weekly or the University of Anna Kaplan ...... Asst. Features Editor Maryland Baltimore County. Congratulations to the UMBC Debate and Model United Nations teams for Leanne Curtin ...... ;...... Focus Editor Letters to the Editor are printed verbatim, bringing even more prestige home to UMBC. Both of these so-called "intellectu­ Alyson Sprugas ...... Asst. Focus Editor although the editors reserve the right to edit al sports" teams have traditionally done very well in intercollegiate competition, Chris Kerner ...... Sports Editor any letter deemed lengthy, repetitive, libelous and their respective national tournaments were no exception. Pratik Shah ...... Asst. Sports Editor or otherwise in need of revision. The editors The debaters' success over the past year, with top 10 finishes at virtually all of Nathan West...... Photography Editor further reserve the right not to print any letter the 20 or so national and international tournaments they have attended since Andrew Dunmire . Asst. Photography Editor for any reason. Letters to the Editor must be September, culminated in their well-deserved semifinals finish at the National David Punzalan ...... Production Manager typed or written legibly and include the Championship. The team captain brought home the additional honor of being the Bernardo de los Reyes ... Production Asst. author's name and telephone num]?er. Letters top female speaker at the championship. By defeating the best teams from sever­ Autumn Patterson ...... Production Asst. must be received by 12 p.m. on Thursday and al Ivy League schools, both at their Nationals and in regular competition, the Jamie Peck ...... Production Asst. may not exceed 400 words. UMBC debaters have proven that this Honors University in Maryland is not a Diana Zeiger ...... Production Asst. The Retriever Weekly publishes weekly on presence that should be taken lightly. Andrew Evidente ...... Production Asst. Tuesdays during the regular school year. Debate and MUN (which received an honorable mention at its own national Ray Shaw ...... Technology Manager Editors can be reached at (410) 455-1260 conference) are giving our nationally recognized chess team a run for its money. Tracy Soltesz ...... Advertising Manager during normal business hours or at University John C. Smith ...... Circulation Manager Center 214; 1000 Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Christopher Corbett ...... Faculty Adviser Baltimore, MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is an equal opportunity employer. PAGES THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION May 9, 2000 Retriever Weekly Reader's Poll

This is the annual Retriever Weekly reader's poll. Your friendly editors at The Retriever Weekly are trying to get a handle on what you love about your paper, what you hate about your paper and what you'd like to change about your paper. The frrst 50 students and faculty to fill out the poll and return it to the offices of The Retriever Weekly in room 214 of the UC will receive free movie passes. You can also fill out the poll online at our Web site, trw.umbc.edu. One lucky entr.ant, randomly chosen by our highly advanced random-number gen­ erating program, will win $20.

For maximum enjoyment, the 2000 TRW poll comes equipped with an easy-to-use numerical rating system suitable for all ages and grade levels. A rating of 5 means that you love the fixture or section in question and wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you didn't get a chance to read it every week; a rating of 1 means that you loathe the fixture or section in question and avert your eyes in repulsed disgust whenever you're unlucky epough to open the paper to the page. that features it; a rating of 3 means that you're reinforcing the stereo­ type of an apathetic college student by not real~y giving a rip one way or the other.

Please take a minute to fill out the poll. We want to serve you with the best paper possible and we can't do it without your help.

The Editors

What is your class status? Astrology A Go-Go 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it

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How often do you read the paper? Second South 4 3 2 Don't read it Athlete of the Week 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it Every week Every now and then When I'm extremely bored Never Take It Or Leave It 5 4 3 2 Don't read it When you read the paper, how much of it do you read? More On That Later 5 4 3 2 Don't read it

The whole thing Most of it Half of it Just a couple of sections or so What would you like to see more of in the paper? How would you rate the content of the followin& sections?

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Features 5 4 3 2 Don't read it

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News Opinion Focus Features Sports

How would you rate the followin& fixtures of the paper? E-mail address (not required, but we need a way to get in touch with you should you Behind the Scenes 5 4 3 2 Don't read it win. Your name will not be added to any mailing lists.)

Sad But True 5 4 3 2 Don't read it If you have any questions, complaints, insights or ideas involving the paper, please feel World News 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it free to e-mail us at [email protected] or stop by the office at any time. Thanks for your time. Police Log 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Staff Editorials 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • • Greenspace 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • Fill out this survey and • • Point/Counterpoint 5 4 3 2 Don't read it • • submit it to The Retriever • Quotes/Quad 5 . 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • • • office (UC 214) for • Insert Name Here 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it Weekly • • • Movie Reviews 5 4 3 2 Don't read it • an entry in the upcoming • Theater Reviews 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • • • prize drawing! • Persiflage 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • • • Prizes include movie passes, • 2 1 Don't read it • • The Fashion Plate 5 4 3 • • • free pizzas, a free punch at • Epicurean Adventure 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • • Information Overload 5 4 3 2 Don't read it • the editor of your choice and • • • Around Town 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • maybe even a new car. • Incidentally 5 4 3 2 1 Don't read it • • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION May 9, 2000 PAGE9

Summer School is Good - r-

• Abby Foster GFR or an elective that you wouldn't normally take because of the ominous Although finals week looms in the doom of work you call your major. not-so-distant future, remember that all You'll probably enjoy it, and spending is not lost because after the last final a few hours in class every week will be comes the single biggest release of the a nice release from the boring cashier whole year- summer! But here is my job where you'll spend the rest of your own special commercial, from me to waking hours. you, about why you shouldn't waste Your brain gets lonely. It wants you your summer lazing by the pool or flip­ to give it something to do. Oftentimes, Summer Session 1: May ao-July 'l ping burgers or pumping gas. It's all if you don't give your brain something Summer Session D: July 10-Aug,ust 18 well and good for a month, and then to think about, it will invent a topic for Registration begin-s April 3, 2000 summer becomes boring. itself. In most cases, this is not a very I know this is positive thing. In general, I don't a huge epiphany think college students need any­ • Earn up to 16 credits in 12 weeks thing else to obsess over. So take for the UMBC • lighten your fall course load community, but a class to keep your brain from • Pursue new interests & skills finding its own amusements. it's true. We get POINT • Accelerate your graduation date sick and tired of It's also important to stay listening to our inside some during the day in parents ask where we're going, when summertime. Skin cancer is bad, and we're coming back, why we avoid them the more time you spend in the careful­ Call or e-mail for a catalog like the plague and various other asi­ ly climate-controlled atmosphere of or visit our web site nine questions that our roommates at classrooms, the better for your skin. 410.455·2335 school don't ask. This is why we love Aside from the profusion of thank you [email protected] our roommates - they don't give a notes you will receive from your skin, www.continuinged.umbc.edu/summer rat's rear end about us at all. Parental summer classes can be academically existence is just one more reason sum­ advantageous in the long run. If you mer vacations are lame. take a few classes in summer and win­ Is there any possible solution to this ter sessions, you could even graduate a horrible, yet annual conundrum? Well, semester or two early! That's potential­ here's a new idea: Take classes! Join ly less total time you would be affiliat­ the ranks of students everywhere who ed with UMBC! Where is the downside hate summer and just never stop taking to that? classes so they can avoid hellish vaca­ Summer classes are easier and tions all together! No, summer school is shorter than regular classes. You can not free. But that doesn't stop you dur­ take a whole class and get it over with UMBC AN HONORS UNIVERSITY IN MARYLAND ing the school year, and if you weren't in six weeks without spending an entire taking a class, you'd probably squander semester with one more class to stress that money on something temporary over. Even if you take summer classes like clothes or beer or car repair. somewhere else, it will give you an •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Clothes wear out, beer is consumed advantage in the end, even if you GOING TO SUMMER SCHOOL? almost immediately and your car is would rather be at the pool instead of in only going to break again in a few class. months anyway. Use your hard-earned Check out The Retriever Weekly's two cash (or your parents' hard-earned Abby Foster is the assistant Opinion cash) on something permanent like editor of The Retri~ver Weekly. She rockin' summer issues! knowledge. can be reached by e-mail at Take something important like a [email protected]. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• School is Always here, Summer Comes But Once a Year

Stephanie Rawlings hear. attend NYU, and due to the exorbitant understanding of students' needs for My roommate donated the following tuition, they cannot actually afford to do frozen drinks and beer pong, even going as With finals coming up, most students theory, and I fmd it to be particularly valid. their volunteer work. Last I heard, Sara far as to stop classes for three months of are fast-forwarding past their macroeco­ She claims that UMBC students live the was trying to hock her remaining kidney glorious hedonism. This opportunity rarely nomics exams and concentrating on their lives of quasi-intellectuals nine months out for food. presents itself once you have a dog, your summer plans. The campus is full of people of the year. Her fear is that the own cubicle and 2.6 whose brains are already occupying lounge extra·.mental strain caused by "The extra mental strain caused by summer school kids. Besides, 40-year­ chairs up and down the East Coast. Being summer school would cause sev­ olds look really funny one of ~hem, I plan to take my umbrella eral students' heads to sponta­ would cause several students' heads to sponta­ when they enter wet T­ drink in hand and expound the virtues of neously explode, resulting in a neously explode, resulting in a serious problem for shirt contests. summer vacation. serious problem for on-campus on-campus maintenatfte workers." If this all sounds like I First, I'd like to point out that summer maintenance workers. Given that I' in advocating spending vacation isn't technically a vacation for logic, summer school is a far your summer hanging most students. Unless you are independent­ more serious health risk than any poolside The only real problem with summer out with your friends and wasting loads of ly wealthy, chances are good that you'll be melanoma you might pick up. vacation is the tendency to get bored. time, then you've gotten my point. There's spending a large portion of the summer Not only does summer vacation free up Endless sandy beaches and hard, bronzed nothing wrong with going out and having months replenishing monetary funds badly your time for merry- and money-making, it bodies get old after a while. That's when some fun; technically, that's what vacation depleted by the previous you hop in a friend's jeep and is for. So waste your time wisely. Follow semesters' countless take a road trip. When you aren't your favorite indie-pop goddess all over late-night beer runs. A busy fighting over his horren­ the country. Visit that really cool chick you lot of students save the dous CD selections, there is a lot met on the Internet. Fulfill your dream of money they earn over CIIHTERPIIHT to see. I suggest a scenic drive to becoming a pretty, pretty dancer. I prom­ the summer to make rent the lush hills of Pennsylvania, ise, academia will be waiting when you get during the semester. The sad fact of the enables students to donate their energy to especially if you're a big fan of cows. I also back. matter is that I myself am headed for a others. That's right, I'm talking about vol­ hear that Indiana is nice this time of year. nine-to-five job rather than the sunny unteer work. I have two friends who spend All of this aside, it really is a good idea Stephanie Rawlings is the Opinion editor beaches of Baja, something my new-elec­ their summers at a camp for underprivi­ to take advantage of summer vacation of The Retriever Weekly. She can be tricity-loving roommates were thrilled to leged children. Unfortunately, they both while you still can. College is terribly reached by e-mail at [email protected]. I PAGE 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION May 9, 2000

tn 1997, the UMBC chess club won the Pan-American Chess Championships. It was ·a truly excellent tournament, with good competition all around. However, th~f(rowning victory of the tournament was a triumphant win in the appendage category by UMBC's most famous chess club member, Thing. Thing defeated a very large toe in a grueling three-hour match near the end of the event. Thing is the first hand, and also the first brainless extremity, to earn such high academic achievement at UMBC. Congratulations, Thin9. We applaud you. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION May 9, 2000 PAGE 11

It is easy to say here that I am only on the rebound in their areas, and they relaxed, it opens the door to poaching, defending elephants because they are should be able to take advantage of the which occurs even now, when it is ille­ Abby Foster large, intelligent, noble animals on the population increase. gal to kill an elephant at all. There are endangered species list. I suppose this is I realize that these countries are in orphanages in Africa for baby ele­ This week, a United Nations con­ a valid point. However, nobody poaches dire financial straits. That does not make phants whose mothers have been ference in Nairobi will vote whether to killed by poachers. The babies are usu­ lift a ban on ivory in Kenya. This is an ally left unattended beside their moth­ absolutely unconscionable idea, both ers' corpses. because the elephants will be legally Some don't eat or play, even in an killed for their tusks and because there orphanage, where other young ele­ will be a corresponding increase in phants try to befriend them. One of the ivory poaching if it becomes easier to reasons there appear to be more ele­ do. phants in Kenya and other countries is I am against ivory in all its forms, that poachers have scared them out of including one that is very difficult for the national parks where they are pro­ me to disapprove of. I play the piano, tected. This gives the appearance that or I did at home where we had one, , the elephants are too numerous to fit in and both my parents and my grandpar­ the land allotted to them, when in fact, ents have very old pianos in excellent they have been effectively scared off condition. These, of course, have ivory of it. Some poachers trap elephants on keys. Anyone who has played on an the open savannahs, while others hunt ivory-keyed piano can explain how them in the protected sanctuaries they much better ivory keys are than plastic are beginning to fear. Legal or not, it is keys. They're smoother and cause less extremely unethical to kill an elephant friction between piano and fingers, for its tusks, just as it is unethical to which makes playing much smoother www.corbis.com kill a whale for its blubber or to catch and easier. As marvelous as ivory dolphins in a tuna net and not cut it to pianos are (I have an innate reverence endangered bugs to "There are orphanages in it right to hunt keep them from dying. of old pianos), I am happy that no make statues with, Africa for baby elephants the elephants The UN should not lift the ban on more elephants will be killed to either. down to the brink Mrican ivory, even slightly. Every ele­ improve anyone's piano playing. South Africa, whose mothers have been of extinction phant alive now because of the ban is That said, it is much easier for me Botswana, killed by poachers." again, just in danger if it is lifted, rendering the to denounce ivory jewelry and knick­ Namibia and because there has 11-year ban entirely futile. knacks. No, it is absolutely not worth Zimbabwe are asking the UN Convention been progress. Progress is good. an elephant's life for you to have a on International Trade in Endangered Progress is important. Progress is not Abby Foster is the assistant Opinion small ivory elephant on your desk. Species to relax the 1989 b~n allowing progress if you just go back to what you editor for The Retriever Weekly. She That we often carve elephants out of ivory sales under a quota system. These were doing. can be reached by e-mail at ivory is perverse, in a way. nations say that elephant populations are If ivory restrictions are lifted or [email protected].

..·.·.· . .·...... , .. _ I am a secondEyear resideit student,, n,ere···, atUN11:.1<::S,ri na,re ·s:ev~~nu 'believe should bebroughfto~ght reg~ll'QJ.ltg tlJte. blQU&l~optJtoruron curren~~Y living itt ~hesapeaJEtlllerQet connection again 1:1ext year; however, tb,e,other t:Wj[Jij.paJ:ttn1ent.,••CQ·fl1tlltuliti1es,~Yil1 the lu~ ofhig~;..speed Eth~fi!et qpnne§. :Q,QrlS, be ~ving in Westllill next year~ the orily . .. .esidlent..s. 15li0~. ,arn,pus~ wi1tl:ioiJttfli~ specialfeature. .. ···•··· · ·· · ..... ir I am aware of'fbefact tbcl!itcosts·~~emoney~takes tini~ t<>;install~:$tiiU, is no goodexcU&:ford~pp~i~~resj,~n,~;q,!his ~~~()(J~ti~~~~tis residential life ~fit to instan.Efhemetfor the Tettaee oomin~~ty and no1;W1e8tlm My three roommates and myself wanted,desperately>to Jive in Terrace, as did most the rest of the people ·who signed up for an apat'fn1:ent. By installing Ethern.et in the.·· ·•. Terrace apartme~ts~ residen~~ life gavtt ~ 9I1eq~ ~~vantage~ that connr!·~cy. • · Consequently>! feel cheated by residential life~ lam a good student With a 3.23 , GPA and 58 credits. I have never been in trouble either witbir1 or outside the universi.. ty. I have lived on campus for the past two years and end~ the occasio~.mj;slli.tl[>••• SUCh as having anon-functioning air. CO,tlditioning unit for the first semeSter · nt:~ ··l'M•I:id 1999-2000 year. I feel like I deserve to have an Ethernet conneetion ·at the very least I have never feltli.ke I was not getting my money~s worth out of my residential expe­ rience until now. UMBC should be ashamed to call itself a ••technologically 3;dvancedu ..... university when it cannot even spare the smalLexpense that other major universities spend willingly and graciously to afford their students a better housing experlence. I am personally asnamed to say that I go to a university that is so greedy it will build fancy new dorms to attract new students while putting its current students at a disa

Jennifer Pace PAGE 12 May 9, 2000

Diana Zeiger checks Information Overload 13 out a Gimmick and Fashion Plate 24

The BSU puts on Epicurean dines at 15 a sexy show the Black-Eyed Pea 25

Pnsert name here] b y t r a c y williams

nsert Name Here] is deeply come up with a decent excuse appreciative of the way for not having entered the con­ I that all of you worked test: together to forge a fitting Runner-up: finale to the contest. · A Haiku Not only did all but one of sorry no enter you withold entries, thus things suck, I hate my job lots satisifying the recurring theme no time to respond. of mass indifference to [Insert (Submitted by Jennifer Name Here]'s existence, but Siciliano) the single entrant was no~ne And the winner of the dis­ other than Jennifer Siciliano, carded Interpersonal Com­ she who originally spawned munication textbook entitled this dreaded scourge way the You're Speaking! Who's hell back in September 1998, Listening? that was found in thus bringing the whole epic a box labeled "Free books - full circle much like Return of PLEASE TAKE!!!": the Jedi or Super Mario Bros. Dearest [insert name here]: Jamie Peck I Retriever Weekly Staff 3 or Bat out of Hell II: Back I have not entered your Here to Stay: Steve Silver, Chipper, Jay T. and Frank D'Angelo, members of the acclaimed Harford Into Hell or Freddy's Dead: .contest all semester. I am an County-based rock band Brickfoot, pose post-Quadmania. The Final. Nightmare. 11-year-old boy from Actually, now that [Insert Batswana. My name is Name Here] thinks about it, Olfk!nuk, and I have a rare Brickfoot Spins Golden Newies it's probably most like thelast spleen disease that is unpro­ one. nouncable and deadly. Doctors JAMIE PECK acclaimed debut album and creat­ Brickfoot' s Quadmania set In any case, here are Ms. give me two more weeks to Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ed a vast amount of local buzz (D'Angelo, who alarmingly Sicilano's entries for Week 12, with a bouncy live show that sold resembles Chris Kattan from in which you were asked to see INSERT, page 24 Yearning for a sound that rolls out Baltimore's 8x10 Club and, Saturday Night Live, and Jay T. the classic past and contemporary ·last Saturday, energized an other- stayed on the fairgrounds to hang present into an irresistible amal­ wise catatonic audience at out with fans), Silver continues, gamation of old and new? Well, UMBC's Quadmania. "The reason why our band works search no further. Brickfoot is Ask the charismatic Silver - so [well] - and I know a lot of playing your song - literally. blessed with a rock-god name and bands say this - is because we The past year has been a a voice that would sound right at really are best friends. Every sin­ defining time ,for the Harford .home in the '60s pop scene that gle second we'Ie together is like a County-based rock band, which the band cites as a major creative slumber party. It's constant fun consists of lead singer/guitarist influence - to expound upon always, all the time - even when Steve Silver, 25~ lead Brickfoot's origins as if the quar­ it's serious, when it's hard work. guitarist/back-up vocalist Frank tet was the focus of an episode of It's never unenjoyable. We're like D'Angelo, 26; percussionist/ VH-1 's Behind the Music, and brothers." back-up vocalist Jay T., 24; and he's quick to respond, ''There'd The friendship Silver is bassist Chipper, 21. In the space be no break-up story." describing began in the Harford of a short 12 months, they've Unwinding backstage with the pooled their talents, released an soft-spoken Chipper after see BRICKFOOT, page 16

Marianne Hayden I Retriever Weekly Staff Celebratory Sonnets: Theater professors Wendy Salkind and There's Always.Room for Jello Sam McCready performed to commemorate Shakespeare. RYAN SURBER Sonnets, He Wrote Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Hot dogs, hamburgers, veggie MICHELLE JABES of the Albin 0. Kuhn Library and burgers, all of the appropriate fix­ Retrierer Weekly Staff Writer the Shakespeare Association of ings and approximately 350 gal­ America. It starred theater pro- lons of Jello were on the food On April 23, everyone's fessor and director Sam order for a charity cookout in the favorite wordsmith, William McCready and Theater West Hill community Saturday Shakespeare, turned 436 years Department Chair Wendy afternoon. This event featured an old. Not only is the man the most Salkind. Their performance was inflatable kiddie pool full of read and respected playwright in entitled "Sessions of Sweet Silent everyone's favorite jiggling red all of history, but he set a standard Thought." and green summertime treat, and a style for future playwrights, The sonnets were gathered along with the childhood classic novelists, artists and .moviemak­ and arranged by Salkind herself, Slip N' Slide and plenty of water ers everywhere. As a tribute and and divided into four distinct sec­ guns to go around, all sponsored belated birthday present for dear tions that each expressed a differ­ by Residential Life and the old Bill, a performance of ent mood between the two actors. Apartment Council. Shakespeare's sonnets was pre­ The poems were arranged in such The heavily-hyped main event sented on Tuesday, May 2 in the a way that when read, they gave of the afternoon was first-time AOK Library Gallery. the audience a feel of conversa­ Jello wrestler and full-time This event was sponsored by tion as opposed to recitation. This Hillside Community Director Nate West I Retriever Weekly Staff the UMBC Humanities Center, Ready to Rumble: Costas Kleopa and Stan Dura do battle in an the English department Friends see SONNETS, page 17 see JELLO, page 16 original fundraiser for House-of Ruth. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000 PAGE 13"

ing in her performance of this powerful One-Woman work. She mixes poetry with storytelling to create a unique, bold voice. As a performer, Orlandersmith is by turns bitter, funny, shy, Power Show angry and a myriad of other emotions. She Gimmick Captures truly becomes the character she is portray­ ing at that moment, her face and body lan­ the Pain of Strength guage transforming to become 10-year-old Jimmy buzzing around the room pretend­ DIANA ZIEGER ing to be Superman, or kindly librarian Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Miss' Ennis, the first real "Lady" that Alexis has ever known. Orlandersmith What enables a person to transcend the truly shines in her portrayal of Alexis, a circumstances into which he or she is born? painfully shy girl who uses a mask of What is it that allows someone to escape a bravado to shield herself from a world that world of poverty and abuse and to realize she knows will never understand her. his or her dreams? Is it courage, strength of The performance is complemented by character or maybe just plain luck? It is Scott Pask's minimalist set design, which these questions, and many more, that Dael allows Orlandersmith to roam freely about Orlandersmith addresses and attempts to the stage. Key concepts are highlighted by answer in her solo show, The Gimmick. words that are projected onto the screen at Center Stage Written and performed by Dael Orlandersmith puts on a mesmerizing one-woman show in The Gimmick. the back of the stage, a technique that serves Orlandersmith herself, The Gimmick is the to emphasize what's important but does not story of Alexis and Jimmy, two kids from takes refuge in the local library and is feels betrayed when Jimmy abandons her distract the viewer from the action onstage. Harlem. The story begins in 1968, when 8- befriended by Miss Ennis, who encourages for a white girl and for the seductive lure of The Gimmick is an extraordinarily pow­ year-old Alexis and 10-year-old Jimmy Alexis in her writing and introduces her to the art scene, as well as for the drugs and erful, moving work. The pain, as well as meet and instantly become friends. Alexis many authors, like James Baldwin. Alexis drinks freely dispensed at the home of the beauty that Dael Orlandersmith is a shy, overweight child who is constant­ idolizes Baldwin, who has managed to use Tootsie, their neighborhood prostitute. expresses in this play are truly universal. ly berated by her alcoholic mother, while his writing as a means of getting out of the "Ass, cash, money, dope" are "the total Anyone who has ever tried to escape harsh Jimmy must deal with a lecherous junkie of confines of Harlem, and it is Baldwin Gimmick" and are what Alexis is trying so and unsympathetic surroundings can relate a father. Both children are consumed with whom Alexis and Jimmy want to see when desperately to leave behind. But as she sees to these characters and their lives. the conflicting emotions of love and they get to Paris. Jimmy unable to pull away, Alexis is con­ embarrassment for their respective parents, Time passes, and when they reach their sumed by the fear of losing her friend and and they vow to flee their world and go to teens, Jimmy's art teacher at school recog­ rashly tries to live in the world of The Paris. nizes his talent and gives him the opportu­ Gimmick. This leads to a final apocalyptic Each seems to have found a means of nity to show his work. Many of Jimmy's conflict in which Alexis questions all her escape: Jimmy is a talented artist, a painter, works are portraits of Alexis. His work own beliefs, a conflict she must resolve in while Alexis finds her solace in words, makes her realize her own beauty - in his order to survive- never mind escape. both as a writer and an avid reader. Alexis eyes, she is a "Picasso woman." But Alexis Orlandersmith is nothing short of amaz-

The Learning Resources Center and The Student Support Services staffs recognize the following peer tutors and student office assistants for outstanding serv1ce for . Academic Year 1999 - 2000. We also send congratulations to our graduating students.

Abimbola Adedeji Elizabeth Fixsen Laura Massimini-Ashbaugh Alex Schill** Erica Ashton Steven Foster Christiana Metzger ' Jonathan Schultz Georgina Baez Craig Harvey German Milla Francesca Selmo** Michele Barrick Thane Harrison Paul Mintz Barbara Selvage* Katherine Beem Mark Headley Jelila Mohammed Virginia Shook Adele Bensur Tavon Hiltner Karina Molsing* Lisa Smith Oksana Black Elton Holmes Matthew Molter Barbara Smith Abena Boampong Grace Hong Nicole Mooney Ronald Smithberger* Susan Bresee Jean Huang Kerry Moroz** RahulSood Jennifer Byrd Charles Hudson Kien Nguyen John Spratt Cynthia Carr* JasonHumm Quan Nhu** Santosh Subaother Ameera Chakrava Donard Huynh Chika Nzelibe* El Hadj Sylla Chung Chang Kamella Issad* Ulunna Ofurum Anthony Tang Wen-Ling Chang Huguens Jean Michiko Ogata Jiyuan Tao Rithy Chhay Sijo Jose* Atinuke Ogunde My-Ling Thach Suyin Chi Karen Keen .Timothy Owolabi** Sharon Tseng Kevin Cho AsadKhwaja Joy Pansini Emma Tullberg* * Christine Chun Stephen Kline Jennifer Pierce Betina Turek** Stephen Clark Igor Kogan Kevin Penny Sandra Uter Mary Collins Caroline Koncilja** Amy Podder Jennifer Vann** Heidi Colville Rebecca Kraft Bindu Poulose Willie Vann Patrick Corkum Whitney Kurtz Thelma Purdie Kalavathy Vedhachalam Victoria Crane Daniel Lassahn * Nicolay Pruss Jacqueline V reatt* * Kevin Cunningham Michael Lautenschlager Ramya Ramakrishnan Carrie Ward George Curry Won Lee . Samantha Riley Leah Wellman Jonathan Desi Karin Lee* Marcelo Rocha Veronica White Ester Devadason * Haoxia Liu John Rollins Heather Williams Cathy Dineen* Mandana Logmanni Kevin Rose Christina Wong Behzad Farivar Ming Lu Nicole Ryan** Robin Zerbe Tresha Farrell Jayam Majethia Nicole Sallee* * Graduates Ana F emandez-Capella Tara Marshall Olga Scheffel-Lang ** Graduates Receiving the Excellt~nce In Tutoring Awards. PAGE 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000 Patti Smith Enchants the Capital

ANNA KAPLAN Patti Smith Group. The band was picked lions of people marching on Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff up by Arista records and released Horses, Washington and making a dif­ an album that gained Smith considerable ference. Seeing her perform If you bumped into Patti Smith on the recognition, in 1975. Several more albums in the nation's capital added street, you would probably walk away followed this release, all of them well an extra dimension to the thinking she was some insane old hippie received, but in 1980 she got married and experience because she woman who spends her days standing on moved to the Detroit suburbs to raise her expressed how special the city the comer muttering incoherently and ask­ two children. is to her. "This is our fucking ing passerbys for change. You would prob­ Patti Smith has seen it all. She played in city!" she screamed at the ably never imagine her on the stage, her New York's CBGB's, a club credited as the audience, riling them up to powerful voice captivating audiences old birthplace of the New York punk scene, march, protest, use their dem­ and young, putting on an incredibly spiritu­ before punk existed as a movement. She ocratic rights to influence the al, unforgettable show. lived through the drug haven of 1970s political situation. At the 9:30 Club in Washington DC last Greenwich Village. She led the protests Mixed in with her newer Friday, that's exactly what she did. The and lived the insanity, surviving to tell the songs and political messages stage was lined with rugs and tapestries, story. were some of her classic hits, candles burning atop amps and speakers, a In 1994, after the death of her husband, like "Because the Night," tom and ragged American flag hanging she once again sought solace in music. originally sung as a duet with over a plain white screen as the backdrop. Gung Ho, the album she is currently tour­ Bruce Springsteen in the late Smith came out in faded jeans, an equally ing to promote, is her third release since '70s, "Pissing in a River," as faded orange t-shirt, an old ragged black the end of a long sabbatical. Her fans are well as "Horses" and sports jacket, her long dark hair hanging still there, and her music is just as, if not "Gloria," which she sung as a down in unkempt strands over her thin more powerful and mesmerizing as ever. medley for an explosive face. Grinning, she looked around the All that she has been through has laid a encore. For the latter, inciden­ cheering audience, as if incredulous that all mark on her body, her voice, the soul that tally, her older son Jackson these people had come out to see her. flows through every note she sings and came out and played guitar She has nothing to be afraid of. After every move she makes. with the band. over 20 years of performing, her fans are Smith kicked off Saturday's show with One of the most spiritual not going anywhere. Smith started record­ several songs from Gung Ho. As she begun parts of the show was her ing in the mid '70s, after spending some to sing, an image was projected onto the reading of Allen Ginsberg's years living in New York City's Greenwich white screen behind her, and throughout classic poem ~'Howl." Smith www.postmodern.com Village, where she did performance art, the show these images changed from tribal was friends with the late Beat American Gothic: Singer Patti Smith showed her lived with artist Robert Mapplethorpe and and Indian designs to computer-generated poet, and was greatly influ- true colors at a DC concert last Friday. watched the hippie generation create waves animation to films to colorful trippy pat­ enced by his stream-of-con- that would forever change the face of terns, capturing the audience's eyes as sciousness style. The power and insistence the stage. She was impulsive, explosive, American society. Smith and her band took care of its ears of her deep voice seemed to increase dur­ beautiful, and her voice and personality In the early '70s, she began to collabo­ and souls. ing this reading, accompanied by heavy took the audience through the highest rate with guitarist Lenny Kaye, combining Smith demonstrated very well that you guitar riffs and drums, and pierce the hearts highs and the lowest lows of her long life her poetry, streams of consciousness can take a hippie out of the '60s, but not of the already enchanted audience. and lyrical magic. If you do not believe resembling magical chants and prayers, vice versa. Between songs, she encouraged Smith cursed, cracked jokes, poured that music can be a spiritual experience, with electric guitars and soon gathered an people to register to vote and use their water all over herself, kicked her shoes off, Patti Smith is the one performer who will entire band which would later be called The voices, talked about revolution and mil- spat every which way and crawled around put you on your knees in front of the stage.

Music Notes I New Album Reviews WRITE FOR FEATURES '• Swans Filth/Body to Body (Young God) intriguing band started out. -Mark This two-CD set, the latest in a series of Robinson WRITE FOR FEATURES • Swans reissues, documents the earliest ' period of this amazing band's diverse histo­ The Damage Manual, 1 (Invisible) ry. Over the more than 15 years of their 1 is the first release from the Damage WRITE FOR FEATURES • existence, the Swans explored a large vari­ Manual, a supergroup of sorts comprised of ' ety of musical styles. The material present­ Martin Atkins (Pigface, Public Image ed in this reissue (most of which has been Limited), Chris Connelly (Ministry, the out of print and unavailable for years) is Bells), Geordie Walker (Killing Joke) and WRITE FOR FEATURES • extremely harsh and visceral. Jah Wobble (Public Image Limited). Many ' Some may categorize this as punk or of these musicians have collaborated before early hardcore, but the Swans were never (in Murder Inc., PIL, and various incarna­ WRITE FOR FEATURES • really a part of either movement. In fact, tions of Pigface), but this is the first time ' most fans of hardcore and punk music they have all worked together. The result is would probably find this music to be too pretty close to what one would expect - slow and repetitive. electronically tinged rock and roll. WRITE FOR FEATURES • This is challenging music, but definitely The songs on this EP range from excep­ ' rewarding. Songs on Filth like "Stay Here," tionally good ("Sunset Gun") to mediocre "Power for Power" and ''Weakling" convey at best ("Scissor Quickstep"). In addition a deep sense of anger and desolation. The to the five new songs on this EP are two WRITE FOR FEATURES • Filth disc is definitely the more rewarding fairly good drum and bass remixes ' of the set, as the material on Body to Body ("Bagman Damage" and "M60 Dub"). consists mostly of studio demos, experi­ Also included on 1 is a bunch of multime­ WRITE FOR FEATURES • ments and live tracks (then again, to the dia content - behind the scenes studio ' collector, material like this is extremely footage, pictures, bios, lyrics and a music valuable). video for "Sunset Gun." As a bonus, a live show recorded from Although I dig most of the stuff on this lliJ:!,.. .~~•t~ ~r E }J'' ~) FE~ ,~uitl'!;S t I R 4 " 1982 is included in the set at the end of the album, the music never really seems to go Filth disc. This live material is even more anywhere or break new ground. What sep­ primeval and challenging than the studio arates this from what Pigface was doing 10 [J R versions, but it provides an excellent win­ years ago, Killing Joke was doing 15 years dow into the Swans past. Those wishing to ago, or Public Image Limited was doing 20 get into the Swans would probably be bet­ years ago? I'm not sure. Regardless, fans Whaddaya waiting for? ter off checking out their later material like of any of these bands should dig this EP. Call x1260 now! Various Failures or Soundtracks for the The Damage Manual plans on releasing a Blind, but this set is highly recommended full-length album later this year and will for Swans fans interested in how this embark on a US tour this summer. -MR THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATUR, E~ May 9, 2QOO PAGE 15 I

• PAGE 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000

foot. com] gets tens of thousands of hits." On a Fast The tune Silver's referring to is "Fast Forward," perhaps Brickfoot's most retro­ sounding Poly Carbon Lens cut, an up­ ForWard to tempo number that advises listeners to "enjoy your youth before you find it's passed you by." Its jangly beat and catchy Fame, Fun choruses render it an audience favorite whenever Brickfoot performs live (at from BRICKFOOT, page 12 Quadmania, ·it even inspired a group of teen punks to mosh) along with the simi­ neighborhood of Edgewood, where he, Jay larly paced and equally memorable "Used­ T. and Chipper grew up and attended the Up Has-Been," "Two-Week Notice" and same schools. Silver met Jay T. in the sixth "Bubble Boy." But slow, meditative grade, and their shared interest in music - Brickfoot is also good Brickfoot - their both boys played the drums - quickly hauntingly hypnotic "Vandyke Brown," made them inseparable. Following their with its layered verses contemplating death senior year of high school, during which and loss, stands out as well. Silver took up singing and taught himself "We're all going to kick the bucket one the guitar, they met D'Angelo in 1997 via a day, and this is what will be left, what I "chance encounter that worked out," and want people to remember us by," Silver then decided to form Brickfoot along with Jamie Peck I Retriever Weekly Staff says of the whole Brickfoot experience. a fourth acquaintance on bass guitar. Center Stage: Brickfoot boys Steve Silver, Jay T. and Chipper rock out while per­ "That's how we all feel. That's the thing Chipper, who entered the picture as a forming "Fast Forward" during their Quadmania set. that we focus on - trying to create some­ guitar techie for Brickfoot after his own thing that is special and that people will band broke up, describes the early that I never had a chance to really evolve . . . thought that we'd have no problem always have. That's a really big feeling. I Brickfoot sound as "a lot harder" than the ... because the line-up wasn't right. As being successful with it, and coming from a look more into the future than I do into the blistering, harmonic pop beats they pro­ soon as it was, everyone was on the same guy who's met so many unbelievable musi­ past." duce today. His instrumental know-how page." cians, I think that that's got to be the most That's why it's called "Fast Forward" unexpectedly paid off when, in late 1998, Falling on the "same page" led to a breathtaking moment." and not "Rewind." the group's original bass player departed myriad of accomplishments for Silver, Upon returning to their Harford home­ and, in January 1999, Chipper filled his D'"Angelo, Jay T. and Chipper. Since !hen, town, Silver and Jay T. dragged out their shoes suddenly and capably. Brickfoot has secured a manager (Paul collection of old Metallica videos in a "When we got with.Chipper, that's kind Manna of 24-7 Entertainment), developed pinch-us-so-we-know-we're-not-dream­ of when everything fell into place," Silver a loyal following affectionately dubbed ing moment. "They're sitting in the same says, referring to the different direction in "the Congregation," and released Poly exact seats in the same exact studio with which Brickfoot's music began moving. Carbon Lens, the group's debut album. Its the same exact guy," Silver remembers "We wrote a song called 'Used-Up Has­ premiere party in February attracted a excitedly. "It was unreal," Chipper chimes Been' and . . . [it] just paved the way. We crowd exceeding 550 to the Recher Theatre in. played it eight or nine times, and we were in Towson, and the CD has since garnered They've also won a mantelpiece of freaking out. At first, we were like, 'Is this raves from University Reporter and· The awards and honors, the pinnacle of which going to fit with our other stuff?' And then Washington Post. they consider their upcoming performance we wer~ like, 'Who cares? It's a great Chipper cites recording Poly Carbon at this month's HFStival, the exceedingly song."' Lens as "the most outstanding achieve­ popular spring music festival thrown by "The next song we wrote was 'Two­ ment" for Brickfoot. The quartet got to 99.1 WHFS._"From what I understand, we Week Notice' two days later, and it was travel to New York to master the album have a pretty good slot [11:20 a.m.-12 p.m. like, 'Alright. This is what we're going to with George Marino, a legendary producer on the Locals-Only Stage]," Silver enthus­ be doing.' So systematically, we started who's worked with quite .an imposing col­ es. "HFS has been amazing- one of the eliminating old songs every time we'd lection of musicians over the course of his top five radio stations in the entire country, write a new one. I found myself personally long career in the industry - Led Zepplin, and they've played our tune about a half­ bringing a lot of stuff to the band that I had Jimi Hendrix, Metallica, the Police, Billy dozen times. Every time they play it, we written over the past five years - whether Joel and John Lennon among them. Silver pick up more and more fans, e-mail rolls in, it be chord progressions or melody lines - agrees: "[Marino] got done listening and CD sales go up, our Web site [www.brick- Delicious ·Jello Smackdown Benefits the House of Ruth from JELLO, page 12 zone. The red and green Jello quickly in an all-out roommate grudge match. Council to transport it up the hill. turned to a purple mixture as the two men Costas drew on his previous experience in It was. most certainly a day for regres:­ Stan Dura vs. anyone who wanted a piece thrashed around, sending splashes of Jello the ring to subdue his opponent with hand­ sion and the only thing one needed to get in of the former US Marine in a no-holds­ hurtling through the air into the fascinated fuls of Jello to the head and in the hair. on the fun was a shoebox or some toiletry barred match-in the pit of quaking cold gel­ crowd. The two grappled back and forth There were several sloppy takedowns and items. This rather odd request was for mak­ atin. Medical personnel was on hand in and after several minutes the two emerged splashes sending waves over the side of the ing "good-stuff boxes" for the House of case of injury, and a referee watched to completely covered in red and weary from pool, but the match ended in a draw. Ruth, a charity in Baltimore which helps to keep the match as clean as possible. Of all the tiresome man-handling in such an The Jello was provided by the Wood protect battered women and children. of those in attendance, only one man was unpredictable terrain, Finally, the glisten­ Company, UMBC's sole food service "In March we had a clothing drive, so willing to step into the full foot of Jello to ing hunks of manhood chose to call it a provider and their initial quote was $1200 we decided as a group to try and help a dif­ face off, bare-chested, with the community draw. for the Jello sold by single serving. Luckily ferent charity organization this time," said director. As the ·men were hosed off, Stan they agreed to cut the Apartment Council a event organizer Monique Lawrence. The Senior Costas Kleopa slithered in, and, described his experience as "chillingly special deal for this charitable event. The Apartment Council also purchased toys for with both contestants on their knees, they exhilirating." The second and fmal match Jello was prepared in 40 gallon trash cans the young children. Monique added, faced off, starting from opposite sides of of the afternoon featured our friend Costas and wheeled out to the loading dock, but it "We're happy with our success and we the children's inflatable pool turned battle Kleopa once again vs. junior Steve Mason was up to the members of the Apartment hope to help more charities next year." 1 1 ~ t I( t 1 ., " "\ f ( 1 I '" t ' I • . t I • I •• l I . , 1. l. I I THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000 PAGE 17 Sonnets Performed to Celebrate Shakespeare's B-Day from SONNETS, page 12 of the presentation was called "The section, "For Thee and For Myself No beautiful lines of poetry were uttered. A Marriage of True Minds." These dealt with Quiet Find," dealt with more of a serious personal favorite was the conclusion to was a more casual and down-to-earth the true essence of love, and included subject matter. These sonnets spoke of Sonnet 109: "For nothing in this wide uni­ approach to Shakespeare, which was more famous poems such as Sonnet 18 with its longing, doubt and ultimately, faith. In the verse I call/Save thou, my rose; in it thou. appealing to rookies like myself. well-known line, "Shall I compare thee to silences during the breaks between these art my all." Spoken in the rich, well-versed The simplistic yet elegant set consisted a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and sections, both actors brought chuckles from tones of the two performers voices, the of a wooden table and chairs, with a vase more temperate." The emotion between the the audience with their silent glances and lines took on an enjoyable, song-like qual­ and two empty wine glasses. Entering to two performers was warm and lightheart­ shy smiles to each other. Acting or not, ity. quiet instrumental music, the two perform­ ed, and pretty hilarious to those of us who nothing is more amusing than seeing pro­ The final section, "All in War With ers carried in a bottle of red wine and a know them as teachers 364 days out of the lessors flirting! Time," concerned exactly what the title bouquet of pink roses to complete the year. It was a special treat for the theater "Kill Me With Spites" was a collection says. The sonnets in the section spoke of scene. majors to finally see their professors using of sonnets mostly comprised of unrequited the effect of time on our world and our­ Each of the titles were taken from a the craft themselves. love, or love despite hardships. Many an selves. We hear of the unavoidable demise integral line in one of the sonnets. Part one Following a music break, the second onlooker sighed in pleasure when certain of all we know under the power of time, and yet also how some things persevere, more specifically love and poetry. In the final line of the closing sonnet, we can hear Heavenly the wishes of Shakespeare himself in the words. "And yet to times in hope my verse shall stand/Praising thy worth, despite his Music cruel hand." To be perfectly honest, I am not an avid The UMBC Gospel Choir, lover of Shakespare. During the first few fresh from their set at sonnets I felt too enchanted by the sounds Quadmania, performed in of the words to really have time to try and the Fine Arts recital hall on comprehend them. And it's always the evening of May 6 under embarassing when others around you are the direction of Janice chuckling at some deep, philosophical joke Jackson. that you totally missed in the text. But after a little while I started to get the hang of the rhythm, and before I knew it, I was chuck­ ling along with the best of them. It was a simple yet effective way to present the sonnets to the public, and they were con­ veyed clearly enough that anyone could follow the text and get something mean­ ingful out of it. Krista Brocenos I Retriever Weekly Staff Happy birthday Bill, you old codger! Slamanomics Rocks Ratt IT's AN UPSCALE JOB ERIN LEATHERWOOD he graduated from Morgan State Retriever Weekly Staff Writer University in 1995. He got the idea from elementary schools he went to that focused ON A MISSION! WE ARE Last Wednesday, the Black Student on speech, art and music. From all of his Union, the Student Events Board and the surroundings Chase came up with what he Student Government Association spon­ calls "the spoken word." This is a kind of LOOKING FOR THE BEST STUDENTS sored a truly poetic event. These organiza­ performance poetry rather than writing. "I tions invited Derek Chase and five other have a catalogue of poetry in my memory, TO HELP US CARRY OUT OUR VISION acts to the Ratt in the Hillcrest building to based upon the audience response, and perform "Slamanomics." Slamanomics is a how I connect with the band bases what I type of spontaneous poetry. The performer perform," he explained about his perform­ improvises poetry on stage to background ances. music. As Aamir Nooruddin described it, The five acts that followed The Derek "Slamanomics is a kind of conscious rap Chase Band were equally interesting. They with a beat." consisted of Poemceees, Jahipster, The This is not the first time that Derek Chase Family, Rights of Passage and Tanya has performed at UMBC. Chase also per­ Matthews. Gerren Liles, who performed formed at Clash of Styles sponsored by SEB, with one of the groups, was drawn into the where his unaccompanied spoken-word per­ art of Slamanomics. He, like almost all of formance surprised a number of students the other f>erformers, resides in the who'd come out expecting to see a night full Baltimore/De area. Tanya Matthews, a of high-energy rock - and won a few new graduate student at Johns Hopkins, began fans in the process. Sheikha Kapoor came to performing the spoken word after meeting the Ratt to see him for the second time. She Chase. She re(erred to him as "the entre­ UMBC'S PHONATHON IS ONE said she'd been impressed by the way "he preneur of Baltimore poets." Tanya has OF THE HIGHEST PAYING [just] went up there with a mike and per­ been performing for about two and a half STUDENT JOBS ON CAMPUS. formed" at the Clash of Styles. She also com­ years. mented on his originality and she said that The immense amounts of creativity and she "wished more people had come." spirit led to an exciting night. The per­ $$WE HAVE FLEXIBLE HOURS Chase himself said he was thrilled to formers were wonderful with their poetry have come back to UMBC, saying he felt and audience communication skills. This is $$ REWARDING WORK INCENTIVES as though "UMBC appreciated diversity." a new art form that is growing more popu­ $$ CONVENIENTLY LOCATED ON CAMPUS Chase kicked off his performance by work­ lar every year. The Derek Chase Band per­ $$A RELAXED ATMOSPHERE ing around the crowd and asking everyone forms all over the nation in cities such as their names. His audience interaction was New York, Atlanta, and Washington DC. $$YOUR EVERYDAY GEAR ISN'T AN ISSUE wonderful and it was obvious he enjoyed They also have a CD available in record what he was doing on stage. Chase seemed stores in the Baltimore City area such as to be getting a feel for the audience and the Dimensions of Music and Sound Garden in INTERESTED STUDENTS PLEASE CALL x3878 audience was getting a feel for him. After Fells Point. To get. more information on OR STOP BY THE ALUMNI HOUSE TO SET UP this quick session he took a break before the Derek Chase Band and the other per­ AN INTERVIEW TODAY. IT'S AS EASY AS 3878!!! the rest of the show began. formers, or to purchase their CD, call (410) Chase first got into Slamanomics after 728-1403. PAGE 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS May 9, 2000

to please everyone this summer in Get Festive This Summer: weather. It means evenings watch­ the Baltimore/Washington area. ing television or hanging out with If you are just staying home and . friends in the warm breeze and hanging out, try a summer recipe. Ladyfest, Vans and Ozzy setting sun. Feeling freshly cut The instructions for making frothy grass on bare feet is an unparal­ shakes and veggie pizza nachos If metal's more your thing, satisfy those leled experience when reminiscing are included, so you can cook and ALYSON SPURGAS Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff overpowering urges to headbang with about the summers of childhood. enjoy. They will be done before The some Ozzfest. This summer, Pantera, Some people will work during Simpsons even starts. And speak­ You can't wait until your last final is Godsmack, Incubus, Ministry, Kittie and the summer, others will continue ing of preparing food, read about over so you can really start to revel in that many others will grace amphitheaters taking classes. all the bad things summer can do joyous season we call summer. It will soon across the nation as part of this two-month Some of us will travel to near or to your health, then go cower in a be· the time when the drudgery of writing tour. After it made its debut in 1996, distant places, seeking excitement dark corner of your air-conditioned papers and cramming for exams will no Ozzy's dreamchild became the most­ or just a relaxing break. Focus room for three months. Don't really longer plague your life. For a glorious attended, longest-running package tour of offers you insights to cheap vaca­ do that; if you do, you won't be able three months, you can spend all that extra the year, and four years later, it was called tion options, saving you the dough to enjoy fully the benefits of this time you would have spent studying bask­ the most successful rock tour of 1999. The you will end up spending on text­ final Focus of the year. ing in the sun, skinny-dipping at three closest locations for this event are the books in the fall. Unfortun-ately, before the party o'clock in the morning and going to really Nissan Pavillion in DC on July 14 and at Whether you'll be at the beach starts, the exams are given out. awesome music festivals like the Vans the Entertainment Center in Philadelphia or lying by the pool, Focus offers See our final exam tips to wade Warped Tour '00, Ozzfest 2000 and on July 22. some good books for you to check through the tribulations that exams Olympia's Ladyfest. Like the Warped Tour, tickets for out while you're saving money on bring you. Enjoy this issue, and use The Warped Tour always provides a Ozzfest are distributed through your vacation. Books are even it wisely. Or don't. We don't really well-rounded melange of great bands - Ticketmaster, but the show in Detroit is cheaper than movies, and you can care; it's the last issue before sum­ not to mention already sold out, so enjoy them outdoors! If you don't mer. Mentally, we are already plenty of get them while you want to read, and you have some basking in the summer sun with renowned skate­ "Don't just sit around wasting can! Ozzy's put an money to spare, go to a musical cold drinks in our hands reading boarders, interest­ expensive little Web event. There's sure to be something away the long, hot days this ing people and site together for his sticker and pam­ summer; go to a music festival festival this year, phlet-laden tables and culture yourself in the and . you can visit it and booths. at www.oz:ifest.com. Books: Time Fillers and This year's ways of skateboarding, necro­ This is where you line-up consists of mancy and feminism." can watch the genres from mul­ Official Trailer Mind Improvements tiple realms of the music world, from hip­ Documentary and buy at-shirt, collector's hop to hardcore. The ticket boasts punk magazine or even an Ozzy action figure! LEANNE CURTIN magazine or Playboy (Read? Yeah, sure rock favorites Anti-Flag, Avail, Good If you make it out to the West Coast this Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff you get it for the articles), but if you r~ad a Riddance, NOFX, The Lunachicks and s~mmer, be sure to check out Ladyfest book, maybe you will learn a fabulous new many more. From the hardcore camp will 2000, the festival sponsored by under­ Summer implies that, one way or anoth­ word you can flaunt to all your friends and be 6 Feet Under, Vision of Disorder and ground punk label Kill Rock Stars. '{his er, you will have some time to kill. While family. Or, if you are like me, you have to Snapcase. Jurassic 5 and Dil~ted Peoples conglomeration of music, art, spoken-word sunbathing at the beach or in your back work all summer. Well, don't waste that will represent the hip-hop division. poetry and film is designed by and for yard, what will you do before you fall time in the carpool or on the metro. Read a Tickets for the Warped Tour are on sale women to showcase the artistic, organiza­ asleep? Sure, you could read some beauty newspaper, or better yet; pick up a good in most places now, and you can get them tional and political work of women. book. You will look well­ at any Ticketmaster outlet, online or over Featured bands include Sleater-Kinney, educated to all around you, the phone. The closest East Coast stops are Gene Defcon, Bangs, The Butchies, Cat and depending on the author in DC at the Nissan Pavillion on July 25 Power, The Gossip and The Need. and title chosen, you may and in Philly at the Blockbuster-Sony Legendary and now-defunct riot-grrl trio spark a worthwhile conversa­ Entertainment Center on July 14. The tick­ Bratmobile will be making an appearance, tion or two. ets for the DC show go on sale June 3 and as well as ex-Autoclave and present No matter what the sea­ are available at Nation Nightclub in the Helium member, Mary Timony. son, Kurt Vonnegut Jr. has southeast section of the city at no service Along with spreading the sweet sounds the novel. Breakfast of charge. You can get tickets for the Philly of great pro-female bands? Ladyfest will Champions (Goodbye Blue show sans service charge at the Electric boast a children's art show, a fabric and Monday) is a good choice for Factory in the City of Brotherly Love. For apparel show featuring the works oLStella summer; it's a light-hearted more information, check out the Web site at Marrs, Becca Albee and Nikki McClure, tale of a car salesman who www. warpedtour.com. There you will find, and two photography shows featuring the goes mad and an author' who or should soon be able to find, "up to the work of Tammy Rae Carland and DC's finally gets the recognition minute tour news," samples of the bands' Cynthia Connelly. Don't just sit around he deserves. Vonnegut's music, and videos ~md instructions on how wasting away the long, hot days this sum­ Nate West/Retriever Weekly Staff works tend to be autobio- to enter a contest and become the "Cotton mer; go to a music festival and culture Reading: So many titles to choose from, only three Candy Kid" (whatever the hell that is) for yourself in the ways of skateboarding, months of break. see BOOKS, page 20 your town. necromancy and feminism. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS May 9, 2000 PAGE 19 Useful Info for a Much Less-Irritating Summer

LEANNE CURTIN Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff know if you are allergic. Moving away is woods. The places they really love are tion factor of at least 15. Make sure the still suggested if you are not allergic, unless warm and dark, like armpits, scalps and lotion protects against both UVA and UVB People look forward to summer, but not stinging sensations are your thing. Spider behind the ears. Insect repellent is useful if rays. If outside for a while, reapply every to food poisoning, bug bites, sunburn or bites are a little less common, but many you are going to be outside near wooded two hours. You will still get brown if you dehydration. Unfortunately, as the weather people have a more serious reaction to areas. Off makes a lotion that is not oily stay out all day, but at least you will have is right for you to enjoy activities in and out them. and doesn't have an incredibly unpleasant some protection. If you don't plan on being of the sun, it is also right for a myriad of · With bites and stings, antihistamines smell. When going through the woods, try outside much, a moisturizer with sunscreen health dilemmas. like Benadryl will ease the swelling and to stay as covered as possible and tuck is a must. The sun is strongest between 10 Food poisoning is a problem that occurs itching. Any pain reliever will also help everything in, including tucking pant legs a.m. and 4 p.m.; it is best to limit sun expo­ more often in the summer than any other reduce swelling. into socks if possible. This also helps to sure during this time. time of the year. Grilled meats from barbe- Ticks are one reason to be cautious prevent contact with poison ivy and other Sunglasses with ultraviolet radiation cues can be undercooked and harbor bacte- when taking jaunts through the woods in skin-irritating plants. Stay away from any protection are helpful to keep your eyesight ria. Using the same spatulas, forks and other spring and summer. Deer ticks are incredi- bee or wasp nests you see, unless you want intact and. minimize eye damage. Hats with utensils on the cooked and uncooked meats bly small - the size of a freckle, and in multiple stings. Spiders like woodpiles and bills or brims are good when combined can spread the bacteria. this region, they can easily carry Lyme dis- undisturbed places outside, in garages and with sunscreen to keep the sun off your Food that exhibits an unusual odor, has ease. Dog ticks in sheds. Be face, ears and scalp. Note that tanning beds visible slime, is soft and moldy and canned are the larger o b s e r v a n t are even worse for your skin than the sun foods with off odors, color or texture should ones that you when you han- itself. While some only emit UVA rays, all be thrown out. Don't let your pets get to find on pets. dle things that they are emitted at a concentration five these either. Perishable food needs to be They get larger are not often times stronger than by the sun. stored below 40 degrees or above 140 as they fill with m o v e d Another concern that goes with being degrees, if the temperature is between these blood. Yes, they around. out in the sun is dehydration. We are not two for over three hou~. it is not safe. are gross, but at T h e camels, and while our bodies are about 80 Your hands and kitchen surfaces should least they don?t sun is stronger percent water, they need to be replenished be washed well and often while preparing carry Lyme dis- in the summer, often. Strenuous exercise outside leads to food. Counters that come in contact with ease. They don't and you are lots of sweating, and that lost water needs r~w meats need to be scrubbed with soap, usually attack more likely to to be replaced. Dehydration is not very water and a water-bleach mixture. Just so humans either. If be out in it. severe in adults, unless it is coupled with you don't throw away food unnecessarily, you find a tick Remember the stomach flu or vomiting from alcohol Nate West/Retriever Weekly Staff the dates on non-perishable foods are for on yourself, Sunblock: U$ing this stuff will prevent burns wrinkled old intake. Diets that make you lose water quality only. That means if the date on the your cat or your and future medical problems. neighbor in weight can also cause dehydration. package is up, your Lucky Charms won't dog, use tweezers T h e r e ' . s Dehydration makes you feel fatigued, poison you, but they may be a bit stale. to pull it out of the skin by its head. Douse Something About Mary? Oh boy did she dizzy and light-headed. Once you experi­ Warm weather also means the insect the area with alcohol to loosen the tick's love the sun. If she were a real person, she ence this, you need to drink water. People population will wake up and multiply. Even grip. Then clean the area and put some dis- would probably have had skin cancer by can live longer without food than without if you hardly spenq any time at all outside infectant on it. Lyme disease is treatable the time she reached 50. Two types of radi- water. Though dehydration is not usually this summer, you will most likely get at but can still be quite unpleasant. If you sus- ation pummel your skin while you're life-threatening, make sure you drink water least a mosquito bite. Mosquitoes are gen- pect you may have it-especially if an enjoying yourself in the sun. A tan may outside to keep up your energy level and erally nothing to worry about, just try not to unidentifiable ring-shaped rash appears on look nice, but so does a golden brown cool you down. scratch the bite - it could leave a scar. Bees your skin-see a doctor immediately. turkey, and for the same reason. A tan is After all this lecturing about health and are a little more serious. If you have never Avoid garbage and stagnant water, mos- proof of occurring skin damage. You safety, try to enjoy the summer and use a been stung, be cautious when you see bees. quitoes like to nest in these warm, still, wouldn't say your bloody cut looks beauti- little of the new knowledge about you and Try to move away from where they are. If smelly places. Check yourself for ticks ful, so why pride yourself OJ:} your tan? your surroundings to improve your season­ r.------,you have been stung before, you at least often if you are out in the country or Wear sun tan lotion with a sun protec- al habits. 1 Tasty Seasonal Recipes . 1 Tips for Taking and Doing I LEANNE CURTIN Veg~tarian Pizza Nachos (makes four I '.T II F • I E Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff servings). . I , ' e 0 n Ina xams I 24 Tnscuzt wafers . I Why not try something new this sum- 213 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella I ALYSON SPURGAS the day, like when you are in the shower or mer? The two recipes below are light and cheese Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff walking across campus. Make sure yo~ I healthy and don't take a long time to pre- 1/3 cup shredded zucchini (or another vary what you study. Instead of doing two pare. The ingredients are reasonably veggie) Eagerly awaiting the time when you can sciences in a row, follow a science with a I priced and yield a delicious result. 2 tablespoons chopped green catch up on all that rest and relaxation language. Only study with friends who real- bell pepper you've been lacking since the beginning of ly want to work-don't turn study time into 1 Watermelon Froth (four servings) 1/2 cup prepared chunky-style the semester? Well, don't pull out the lawn- social hour. spaghetti or pizza sauce chair just yet; you still have one more bur- I one envelope unflavored gelatin 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese dle to cross before you can put the school Make Relaxation a Part of Your Schedule. I one cup skim milk 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano leaves year behind you - final exams. Don't Be good to yourself and don't get too three cups watermelon chunks worry, as long as you remember these help- stressed out. Make sure you eat healthy I (remove the seeds) Arrange the wafers on a 12-inch pizza ful hints as the end of the semester foods and get plenty of exercise and sleep. one cup frozen vanilla lowfat yogurt pan, overlapping them a little and leaving a approaches, you'll be able to stay afloat in Plan rewards for yourself throughout the I two tablespoons powdered sugar three-inch border. Layer the 1/3 cup moz- the murky and relentless sea of classes that week, such as a movie or a game of soccer six ice cubes (about one cup) zarella cheese, zucchini and pepper on the just don't end soon enough. after each study session, and give yourself I wafers. Top with the sauce, remaining a big one, like a trip to your favorite store Sprinkle the gelatin over one cup mozzarella, Parmesan cheese and oregano. Don't Procrastinate. Cramming is not the or club, after your last final. Look at this I skim milk in a small saucepan; let it Broil it for two or three minutes, until the answer to learning the material you should time of the year with a more positive 1 stand for one minute. Stir the mixture cheese melts, then serve. have learned in a semester's worth of approach - don't see taking tests as a over low heat until the gelatin com- Since the watermelon froth drink called missed classes, and the short-term memory threat. I pletely dissolves - that's about three for gelatin, I compromised and this obvi- is not big enough to store all of that infer- minutes. Blend the watermelon, skim ously is a vegetarian meal. mation. Never start studying material the Don't Use Stimulants or Other Drugs to I milk, frozen yogurt and powdered sugar For meat eaters, you can load the night before an exam. Start studying now, Stay Awake. Natural stimulants are okay in a blender at high speed until it's wafers and cheese with pepperoni and and break your sessions into chunks. A week sometimes, such as light doses of caffeine in . I smooth, then add the gelatin mixture. sausage if you like. Note that instead of before the exam, do an initial overview to coffee or cola, but don't use caffeine pills Now add the ice cubes and blend at high broiling, you can microwave on high for help familiarize yourself with the volume of like No-Doz. These harsh amphetamines I speed until it's all smooth and frothy, one minute, turn the pan 1/2 turn, then material and where the difficult spots are. can allow you to stay up longer, possibly 1 then serve. This recipe only has one cook for 10 to 20 seconds, until the covering more information, but you will end gram of fat and 136 calories per serv- cheese melts. The vegetarian version has Develop and Follow a Plan. Set aside large up retaining less of what you cover. I ing. 10 grams of fat and 239 calories. blocks of time - like a few hours - each ._I Source: ______KNOX Gelatin Source: Triscuit wafers _.J day for studying. Then do short mental . Don't Worry. They'll be over soon eno4gh. reviews at different intervals throughout Then you can kick back and relax! • • • t 1 r ' I I ' I • • .. I ' t J • • ' • PA E 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS May 9, 2000 Summer Vacation Spots for ''AS HOT AS EVER! the Financially Challenged STOMP HAS A BEAT THAT JUST WON'T QUm" - San Franciaco Chronicle

MATTHEW MCDONALD even allow pets. For more information on Retriever Weekly Staff Writer these vacation spots, you can contact the I Bethany Beach, Fenwick Island, Lewes and I As most college students already know, Rehoboth Beach areas' campgrounds. finding a place at the beach during the sum­ If you are looking for a more scenic spot i mer months can be rather costly. Maybe to experience the summer, then you might you can crash at a friend's place in Ocean want to try the Outer Banks. Located on the City, or perhaps your parents will let you southern half of the breathtaking North stay in their bungalow at Daytona Beach. Carolina coast, the Outer Banks are less However, these situations are few and far commercial-driven beaches. They consist between. Most of us cannot afford the lux­ of small communities run around a general ury of a hotel or an apartment for a day - store and a few diners. The larger attrac­ let alone a couple of weeks. tions include Cape Hatteras and the Campgrounds are perfectly suitable Ocracoke Islands. One can attribute their places to reside while you are at the beach, popularity in part to their exquisite light­ and camping is a cheap and fun way to houses. Aside from their historical value, spend a week or two at the shore. Here in both Cape Hatteras and Ocracoke still offer Maryland that same we have small-town Ocean City, "Campgrounds are perfectly suitable feel. The a haven for locals are inebriated places to reside while you are at the really nice senior­ beach, and camping is a cheap and fun and hos­ week grad­ way to spend a week or two at the shore." pitable. THE SMASH HIT RETURNS/ uates with Other WwYI.stomponline.com deep pock- _ towns like ets. The campgrounds in Ocean City offer Frisco and Bodie may lack the same popu­ that same feeling you got when you gradu­ larity as the previous two, but they are still ated and dumped all your money in a one­ remarkable in their own right. They consist May 16 • 20 t·:-t·1·t·cl \ p I h \ . II ' l l ... I room dive for you and thirteen of your of parks made to house families and not closest friends. The restaurants, shops and rowdy teenagers, so it's much easier to go 6 Performances Onlyl even the infamous Ocean City Boardwalk there and chill for a week if that's your are all within walking distance. There is a thing. CALL NUW! 410-494-2712 bus system as well for those who tire of All of the campgrounds charge basical­ Pl"iority tickd ...,alt.·s only ~nailahk at tht· Bo'\ oiTit.T

CAPSULE REVIMS OF MOVIES UJ CUIIIE.tJT ALSO IN THEATERS RElUSE BY JAMIE PECK Erin Brockovich dier who may or may not have wrongly opened *** 1h out of four fire on a crowd during a civilian seige on the Julia Roberts' star power goes supernova in American Embassy in Yemen; Jones plays his this fact-based account of a no-experience legal army-vet lawyer. The two actors are as watch­ secretary who comes to the aid of a small able as ever, but the less-than-engaging Rules California town unknowingly poisoned by a suffers from serious plot holes, goofy dramatics gas-and-electric giant, and Albert Finney, as her and at least one scene (involving a little girl and occasionally bullied boss, marvelously reacts to a gun) that's thoroughly distasteful for what it her intimidating demeanor. Non-mainstream suggests. director Steven Soderbergh (The Limey) seems like an odd choice to helm this crowd-pleasing 28Days material, but be's actually perfect for it. His ** refusal to oversentimentalize the sad story or America's cinematic sweetheart as a life-of- lighten Roberts' hard-edged character make the-party lush? Sandra Bullock capably plays an Erin Brockovich more powerful and pleasing aloof alcoholic whose bad behavior lands her at than it has any right to be. the Serenity Glen rehab center, the actress' soft Minnie-Mouse cuteness a sharp contrast to the Final Destination character's belligerent streak. Predictably, she's *** suiTounded by a supporting cast of goofballs so Death takes a holiday to stalk a group of cartoonish they should be given their own show teenagers who were supposed to die on a field­ on Saturday mornings, and predictably, she trip flight but evacuated the plane at the last awakens to cold, hard reality. Strong perform­ minute. Great concept, and Final Destination ances by Bullock and Dominic West (as her more or less runs with it, providing some solid Universal Pictures enabler boyfriend) can't mask drama that fails jolts and genuinely disturbing murder Troubled Waters: Naval officer Matthew McConaughey, center, and his crew take to resonate and comedy that isn't particularly sequences along the way. At first nightmarishly a ride to sabatoge an enemy U-boat in the WWII thriller U-571. funny. realistic with a fine attention to eeri~ detail, the movie grows increasingly cartoonis~ and tacks gal (Jenna Elfman). This romantic comedy is Assante) may border on unmemorable, but its U-571 on an unsatisfying ending. But lead Devon overlong, predictable and nothing you haven't story about two Spanish Inquisition-era con *** Sawa, who was slumming in the flaccid horror seen before. But the cast charms, the humor artists (Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh) who Navy officer Matthew McConaughey and his show Idle Hands a year ago, is a well-spooked clicks and Norton, in his directing debut, trans­ stumble onto a treasure map that leads them to crew hit the water during World War ll to strip a gore guide even when the going gets rough. forms what could've been a one-joke priest­ the titular lost city of gold should entertain kids disabled German U-boat of the coveted Enigma rabbi joke into two hours well-spent. and adults more or less equally. A mute but device. U-571's as shamelessly patriotic as it Keeping the Faith expressive horse named Altivo steals the show. sounds; little American flags should be distrib­ *** The Road to ElDorado uted to viewers so they can wave them around Anybody familiar with the assorted miscreants *** Rules of Engagment during the more overbearing moments (gotta Edward Norton has fashioned a wonderful Though it's not as subversive as Antz or as ** love that bombastic musical score). But it's also career out of playing is going to sustain at least visually powerful as The Prince of Egypt, this Samuel L. Jackson turned a paint-by-num- a well-crafted and rather nifty thriller, thanks to a little shock while they watch Keeping the third animated effort from DreamWorks SKG is bers thriller plot into something to see in The the skilled technical hand of director/co-writer Faith. He plays an affable priest who spats with fun, lively and colorful. El Dorado's songs (by Negotiator.' But here, a paint-by-numbers Jonathan Mostow (Breakdown), who rolls out his rabbi buddy (Ben Stiller) when an old The Lion King's Elton John and Tim Rice) and thriller plot gets the better of Jackson- and co­ enough tense situations to keep you perspiring as tomboy friend reenters their life as a sexy career villain (a sinister high priest voiced by Armand star Tommy Lee Jones, too. Jackson plays a sol- much as his sweaty, all-male cast.

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eseget"1 @u m bc.ed u By Eric Segerson <> C RAZY www.a. t-t-ive.a.t/ e17 ~------~ AFT[R A LONG AND HARD S£M£ST£R, AR£ YOU GUYS A OUJ[T CLOS£ TO A GREAT S£M£ST[R, KAST£R AND JACK KICK BACK AND R£LAX R£ADY FOR ~&\b \../HAT'S IN STORE FOR 5POCK J[NJ FINALS? 0 OMIGOSH, KA5T[R AND JACK? 'w'ILL KASTER AND ANOTHER I FORGOT! J£N BECOME 'AN IT£M?" VIILL JACK MARGA Rl TTA? [V£R SOB£A UP? SPOCK- WH0'5 THAT, I FIND .OUT WHEN YOU MUST 8£ CRAZY RETURNS NEXT FALL, UNTIL TH[N, YOU CAN READ. PAST ISSU£5 OF YM8C AND OTHER COMIC STRIPS l'V£ DRAWN AT www.arrive.at/el7 (AR£ YOU WRITING THIS DO'wN?) SEE YOU NEXT FALL!

Thanks to the Retriever Weekly Staff, especially Autumn Patterson for dealing so expertly with my demands. Special thanks to Bryan "the Ace" Louie for his advice and help, and all my loyal readers. Peace! ~

-+ THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000 PAGE 23

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PREPAYMENT REQUIRED ·~~ ; fe .· 'To rl' Fea : t ~· r e ~ . For more information visit E ~ r n c , ~ , 1.d , ,,,, h c, r d ; · c a.s h _,· " http:/lbookstore.umbc.edu/textbooks :• C•a l ./1 \, x,., ·1 2(6 0 ,•: .::~ t PAGE 24 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000

{ The Fashion Plate } The Catonsville Fashion Bug

ERICAJANIAWASHINGTON dents alike sported last year~s styles and that dudes sport on shirts and sometimes ley or gingham or even polka dots. Retriever Weekly StaffWriter nothing daring. The most stylish person even shorts. These. were safe articles of Tank tops were even in their tradition­ was the smooth performer Me'Shell clothing that were $een a lot last summer al straps instead of raccrback or back­ If you were one of the 9840 stu­ NdegeOcello, who played it safe with a and S¢etn to be appearing on the racks less. I did not even see a ruffled skirt. dents who missed Quadmania, then black turtleneck and antique-washed again. There were also a lot of cargo pants; Quadmania was, among other things, a you have no idea,what the students at denim. Her instruments were the perfect shorts, and skirts. Safe and expected very disappointing .show of fashion Catonsville Middle School were wear­ accessories and, as you may have noted, because "cargo" seems like it is going to be that is truly not representative of ing, but I was there and very disap­ worn one at a time. She must have read my in style forever. UMBC's sense of style. pointed. The biggest school event of column last week. The latter is OK, but so many new styles Since that one depressing Saturday, the year and the first nice day of spring Unfortunately many of the styles at and patterns are appearing this summer, I have seen many improvements in -calls for a fashion display, a live fash­ Quadmania were either outdated or safe. and Lsaw very few of these on Quadmania every facet. of fashion. Therefore, it is ion show of everyone's newest spring Very few people took tisks .. I saw a camou­ 'saturday. Perhaps because I honestly was safe to assume. that Quadmania was so clothes. flage tank top and also a pair of camou­ observing a younger and less fashion-con­ ..last season" because the vast majority I expected to see exciting perform­ flage shorts. I bad tbought.,that everyone scious crowd. I saw very few capri pants. of the crQwd-was super underaged and ances and updated fashion, yet saw nei­ knew camouflage was over. Another com­ whether chino or denim. I also saw so not old enough to read last month's ther. Middle school and college stu- mon pattern was the floral/tropical design much plaid that.~ete was no room for pais- Cosmo. r------~ [insert name here]

o finals are finally here, and all that you can repeatedly punch until they are from INSERT, page 12 Now that we've reached the blessed procrastination and the hours purple, or blow their limbs off into obliv­ end of the semester, let's take a short Syou've spent aimlessly clicking ion. Overall, a wonderful way to let off live, unless I have a spleen transplant. I gander at the [Insert Name Here] score­ your brain away under the guidance of some steam or constructively spend an must raise $7.3 million by next Tuesday, board. Out of 13 contests, flve were fuformation Overload are catching up to afternoon, a week, whatever. Come on, or the dioctors [sic] will just kill me, as entered by only one person and two you. How are you ever going to catch up don't pretend you've never wanted to the very sight of me makes the doctors were not entered at all - and out of the with all the work and pass your classes? play drinking games with a Teletubby. feel worthless and small. We can't have eleven contests that were entered, only Well, that's up to you; you won't flnd the that. Additionally, my 53 brothers and 2 two of them were won by people who answer to that one in The Retriever The Online Pregnancy Test (www. sisters are starving, and as the oldest, I weren't already acquaintances of [Insert Weekly, that's for sure. But you will in fact fosml.com/pregnant) Yes, you read right, am the breadwinner. With no breadwin­ Name Here]. (Thanks, Theresa and find more ways to waste time by surfing it's an online pregnancy test. All the ner to win bread for them, they too will Cathy, whoever the hell you are.) the Web. accuracy of a doctot' s office is as far die within a week. Furthermore, we are So what did we learn this semester, There is no theme this week, other away as your PC! Just click a button, attempting to flnd Jesus and can't very kids? One: Aalgar, who submitted a than the random mish-mash of ideas that and little magical physics gnomes use well do that if I am dead. If you send this number of very funny entries in the frrst is the. Internet, and probably your brain their powers to analyze the blood pres­ e-mail to 19 of your friends, and they tell few weeks of the contest and then disap­ after finals. Enjoy, and good luck on those sure in the tips of your fingers and tell their friends, and so on, and so on, you peared altogether, has apparently died. tests and papers, Information Overload is you whether you are destined to be a will see something on your screen that is All mourn Aalgar. Two: Jennifer laughing heartily at your expense because proud parent, as well as the gender of the FUNNIEST THING YOU HAVE Siciliano is [Insert Name Here]'s if you keep on reading this and following the offspring and who the father is. Keep EVER SEEN! And voila, I might very favorite contestant because her entries the advice offered herein nothing will get in mind that magical physics gnomes do well be cured. Or not. But you'll still get tend to be long and hence cut down on done! Ha ha ha! not like it when you inquire of the ori­ to see that cool thing, even if I die. So the the amount of material that [Insert Name gins of their powers, so don't even both­ point is that I haven't had time to enter, Here] has to come up with on its own. New Grounds (www.newgrounds. er wondering and take their words as what with fmding a cure for my unpro­ Three: Columbine is funny. Four: The com) All the good said about this site can truth. nounceable spleen ailment, and the writers of The Washington Post's Style ever be enough. Someone ought to build search for Jesus. (Submitted by Jennifer Invitational are much better at this kind a statue to the guy who made it as he Blow the Dot Out Your Ass (www. Siciliano) of thing. Five: If Adam Craigmiles ever would· surely appreciate some good blowthedotoutyourass.com) You heard And so Ms. Siciliano adds You're asks you to take over anything, run recognition after being sued by the BBC light, so do it now, blow the damn dot Speaking! Whos Listening? to her grow­ screaming. Six: Noah Clungston­ for copyright infringement of the out your ass and leave all the ridiculous­ ing [Insert Name Here] trophy case, Lowery, who on at least six different Teletubbies logo. New Grounds is a ness of the Internet behind you, you which currently contains the "Ask Me occasions held forth on how much he fantabulously dynamite parody/sadistic damn Web junkie. This site has a large About Breast Feeding" button she won enjoyed [Insert Name Here] and prom­ fun site where you can kill annoying collection of fake addresses that you can the last time she was the sole entrant in ised that he was soon going to enter, is a celebrities, watch Teletubbies smoke print onto sticker sheets and put in what­ the contest. Not to imply, of course, that fme poet but a bald-faced liar. And last­ weed and sodomize farm animals, club ever inappropriate places your heart the lack of competition was a major fac­ ly, we repeatedly learned that The seals on the head or watch some fairly desires. There are such wonderful titles tor in her victory. Because it wasn't. Retriever Weekly's office sure is a lonely sick cartoons about anal sex. You can also here as HairyDrunkenLactatingSpotted Because that Jen, she's a funny one, she place at four o' clock on a Monday go. through a middle school and shoot Monkeys.com, PenisEnlargementGift is. morning. Enjoy your summer, kids. things, all to an intense hard techno Certificates .com, AnalPasteDeli vered Actually, Aalgar isn't dead; [Insert Name Here] knows this because he's still doing his thrice-weekly col­ soundtrack. Assassin, the feature where WithinAnHour.com, GetTheSkidmarks umn at his site www.sarcasm.org, a place which all 11 [Insert Name Here] fans should visit to satisfy their you get to kill celebrities, has such char­ OffYourUnderwear.com and Giant unquenchable thirsts for disillusioned twentysomething males doing quasi-subversive humor heavy on sar­ acters as Marilyn Manson, Hanson, Bill FlamingDonkeyBalls.com. Ah, the won­ casm and irony. Cause there's just not enough of that kind of stuff around these days, don't'cha know. By Gates and the Olsen twins, whose faces ders of the Internet. -Anna Kaplan the way, [Insert Name Here] ran into Week Seven's prize, the striking Michelle Li. at a bar in Fells Point over the weekend. where she introduced it to her new boyfriend, who looked very happy to be her new boyfriend. That coulda been YOU, if you'd gotten off your dead asses and submitted some entries that week. Don't come crying to [Insert Name Herel about your sad love life, chum; it tried to help. Ms. Li was new & 'net looking so striking that evening, in fact, that the (female) bartender attempted to pick her up, which isn't something you see often outside of Coconuts. YQJ.J go, Michelle. [Insert Name Here] would like to con­ cut & paste on your desktop gratulate our resident astrologist Alison Andrews on her imminent graduation. and hopes to follow sutt someday. And finally, this exceptionally self-indulgent edition of the fine print wouldn't be complete with­ out a special thank you to President Hrabowski for taking time out of his busy schedule to read The You should come work for The Retriever Weekly. No, Retriever Weekly's theatre reviews. We love feedback. Keep it coming. really. You should. We'd give you reasons, but it does­ n't seem kosher, you know? Like the people that should be working at The Retriever Weekly shouldn't have to trw. edu be provided with reasons why they should work at The mbc • Retriever Weekly. They should just know already that they were destined for greatness. Or whatever. So call (41 0) 455-1260 if you want. No pressure. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000 PAGE 25

.yersiflage by erica -smith . Black-Eyed Pea, Glen Bu~ The rest of the meal was brought out This week my trusty fOOd partner in, a very , timely manner. First, our ell well well~ here we are I mean, wby sbonld I :eat Goldfish and I visited The Black-Eyed Pea in mushrooms, which were basically again. ·I don't feel like a par~ crackers if your mom says they're Glen Bumie. It is a chain restaurant chicken-fried button mushrooms, and W ticularly verbose introduction OK?" -David _ claiming Southern-style home-cqoking out salads. ,Both were fresh and the· today, so I'll just cut to the chase. If David~ my'' mother is the absolute sort of fooo. The decor is kitSch, with tnushiooms were especially juicy. Then you~ve got a query for me, drop a line at authority on what is "OK"" and what is light WoOd paneled walls and the oblig- the entrees came very hot, the platter esmithl 0~ gl.umbc.edu. "not OK. •• You should respect her judg~ atory bull's head on the wall, as well as siZed chicken-fried steak slathered with ment, especially concerning such impur~ a mural ofAnne Arundel. Upon entering white gravy. My veggie platter, consist- tant things as snack: foodS. Here's a run­ we were prompted for a name and told it · ing of pea pods~ corn and mashed pota- down on those things my mom labels would be 20 minl1~es~ despite Overall: 415 toes with brown gravy, was "OK••: Goldfish crackers, Oklahoma, the fact that tt was a Atmosphere: 3/5 huge. I have never been so suntan lotion~ Billy Joel. tea, Salvador Wednesday night and there . Service: 415 full on just vegetables. The Dali. cats and Wmdex. were many empty and dirty Cost: 515 brown gravy was somewhat Here are some things that my mom tables. Mter waiting for 15 _Originality: 215 bland} but the potatoes were has decided ar~ ''Not OK?': polki:l. Tom minutes awongst screaming Web savvy: 015 haJ!d~mashed and had bits of Gre~n~ thqse little can~¥ buttons that children (a family res~urapt tasey- 'pcel and lumps. come on strips of paper~ Potted Meat for sure) we were ushered to a long, rus* After our giant meal, dessert was out Food Product and the Bolshevik tic booth. of the question, but the cobbler deliv- Revolution. I hope you think about this. We decided to try the Market eied to t~e next table was tempting. The . Now go to your room and stay there 'til Mushrooms with ranch dipping sauce as bill came to a college-friendly $25~ and I tell you otherwise."' · an appetizer and I opted for the All-Star would have been equally stuffing and Veggie platter. My partner chose the .. only $20 without an appetizer. Overall, "Is there any truth to the rumor Texaswsized chick~n::-fried steak; dinner. a good cheap dinner date for the hungry, that $ied by tas:fY rolls .a.S··•. the' rom~~}).y has no Web site. ~ ······ and combl!ead •. both very warm and ten- , "Rosemary Aquino

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410-296-7328 • 800-879-7328 • www.secumd.org f('lt tl~ so rwi ... -~ ~ Sifte!ft of~~ UM ~udents, alumm and ~aft can join State Employees Credit Umon of Md., Inc.; C=l hu. t:~ ,pl~ lhe ~ _)l.) to talk ads .. PAGE 26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000 Is Anybody Out There? Nonprofit Project Searches for Signals

LEANNE CURTIN become available. Even if we hear a mes­ Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff sage, it's not certain we will be able to understand it. In 1977 the ''Wow" signal Most of us saw ET, and many of us was found at the Ohio St.ate Radio believe there are aliens, that there have to Observatory. The team working there was be, considering the vastness of the uni­ not able to look for it, confmn it and veri­ verse. But are there really? What is being fy it right away, but it was one of the Excellence done to fmd out? The US Air Force inves­ strongest signals ever detected. The lack of tigated Unidentified Flying Objects more readings of this signal suggests that it Ranked in the Top Ten. Nationwide (UFO's) from 1947 to 1969, and then was not extraterrestrial, because ~t was NASA was asked to analyze the possibility only recorded once. More likely, it was a Education of resuming these investigations in 1977. terrestrial signal bouncing off space debris. Bachelor of Science in Nursing Traditional and Second-Degree Programs In 1992, Congress directed NASA to begin The SETI program does not broadcast searching for artificial radio signals from into space, nor is it very interested in the space un~er the project name Towards prospect. The incredible distances the radio Baccalaureate-prepared nurses guide and implement many of the ongoing efforts to Other Planetary Systems (TOPS)/High waves have to travel would make any mes­ improve quality and delivery of health care. If you are looking for a rewarding Resolution Microwave Survey (HRMS). In sage and reply exchange span over decades career, consider the Traditional or Second - Degree programs in nursing at the 1993, NASA had to end this effort because and require much time and dedication. University of Maryland School of Nursing. of "pressures on the US Federal budget." There is a proposed agreement of an Before the government wiped its hands International SETI Protection Protocol, of everything alien, a nonprofit organiza­ where all nations would decide together For the Traditional BSN- 59 semester hours of transfer credit, with competitive tion called the Search for Extraterrestrial whether to respond and how. The program GPA, from a qualified, accredited college or university, including appropriate pre­ Intelligence Institute (SETI) was set up in does not look for or investigate UFOs, nursmg courses. 1984. NASA awarded SETI its first either. There is no scientific evidence to research grant in 1985. All research as of prove aliens have visited Earth, and even 1994 has been funded privately by corpo­ for advanced civilizations, twenty-four tril­ For the Second- Degree BSN- Competitive cumulative GPA from a completed rations and philanthropic groups such as lion miles minimum to travel is a major baccalaureate degree obtained through an accredited college or university ~d Hewlett Packard and the National Science dilemma for any engineer. completion of appropriate pre-nursing courses. Foundation. Project Phoenix continues the SETI at Home is an opportunity for Targeted Search, where it carefully exam­ companies and PC owners to help analyze ines the area around 1,000 nearby sun-like data from Project SERENDIP. The free stars . .The world's largest antennas have downloadable program takes advantage of committed observing times for this endeav­ unused computer cycles while a computer or. The philosophy behind Project Phoenix is idle by downloading a 300-kilobyte is that "the successful attainment of an elu­ chunk of data collected by the SERENDIP sive goal requires nothing less than a sys­ team. The program analyzes the data and tematic and thorough effort." sends it back to the SERENDIP servers. Radio signals that are only one spot on The program can also be set to run contin­ the dial, or between 1,000 and 3,000 MHz, uously in the background while you use are where intelligent transmissions would your computer. Only 2.5 MHz portions of most likely be found, sent by a purposely­ collected data are analyzed by SETI at UJC Baltimore Fellows built transmitter. Radio is believed to be the Home and any interesting signals would best possible chance of communicating have to be followed up on at a later time. through space. Any potentially extraterres-. But the advantages are that it looks for a Wanted ..... trial signals observed by Project Phoenix variety of signal types that the SERENDIP are checked out within twenty minutes of processing cannot uncover, plus it increas­ · Hillel of Greater Baltimore is looking for their discovery using a radio telescope in es interest in the search endeavor and Jodrell Bank, England. Radio waves travel allows people to participate. As of DYNAMICJEWISH STUDENT LEADERS!! at 300,000 kilometers per second, the February 2000, SETI at Home had 1.6 mil­ speed of light, and the fastest possible lion participants in 224 countries. Since velocity. Unintentional transmissions given May 1999, the contributed computing time off by high frequency radio, radar and TV .is equal to 165,000 years, and is the largest are known as "leakage." Earth has been computation ever done. To become transmitting leakage into space for over 50 involved in the search and contribute to years. current efforts visit SERENDIP's down­ If we .were to receive a confirmed sig­ load page at setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/ nal, the modulation of a message would be download.html. No signals or messages drowned out; we would have to build much have been found yet, but a lack of evidence larger instruments to understand it. But if a does not mean extraterrestrial life doesn't Because no one need wait a single moment to be detection is made, it's likely the money will exist. changing the world.... -Anne Frank We are looking for students interested in changing the world. As a UJC Baltimore Fellow YOU will be leading your <;amp us in social action pro­ F1ey! Yotfre 1ookin' gramming. Responsibilities include: • Organize a year long Social Justice/Awareness campaign • Attend the UJC Leadership Conference pi;eti}(good.. How • Attend the UJC Institute in Israel and Easter Europe (upon acceptance) • Have the opportunity to network with professionals across the ~ ~,about· you buy country United jewish Communities represents and serves 189 Jewish federations and an ad? 400 independent Jewish Communities across North America. It reflects the val­ ues of social justice and human rights that define the Jewish people. UJC is ded­ ica~2d to seizing this opportunity to improve people's lives- around the cor- The Retriever: Weekly. Contact Beth Gansky for more information: We compliment you even An Agency of HI Ltl Phone: (410) 653-2265 ext. 15 before you patronize us. 9fG~h11R Fax: (410) 653-7809 E-mail: Bt\LTIM

Thesday, May 9 category demanding, humorless Wheelchair Tennis Clinic peers. Their music is a hybrid of Atari We're assuming this one is pretty self­ driven Industrial, New Wave, Soul, expianatory. It's free, so if you're a Jungle, Hip Hop and Punk." If that wheelchair-rider, and need some help intrigues you, go check them out at on your tennis game, and don't have DC's Black Cat tonight. Oh, and if anything else to do at 6:30 P.M. on a this whole press release thing bugs Tuesday, roll on down to the Locust you, remember- at least you didn't Point Rec Center for some pointers. spend any money on this paper. (41 0)3-96-1550. Friday, May 12 Hit the Road The Artist and the Process From the City Paper (the newspaper A new exhibition opens today at the that lives in the city so YOU don't Howard County .Center for the Arts in have to): "Curious about how a band Ellicott City, continuing through June with influences as eclectic as ZZ Top, 23rd and featuring a rare and unique the Ramones, Johnny Cash, and Beck look "behind the scenes" at the stages might sound? Take a trip down to of the artists' work in progress. Northern Virginia and check out the During the opening reception today Road Kings. The road brings them to from 6-8:30 p.m., some of the Iota tonight.... Songs such as the Center's resident artists will have Tejano-tinged "Boystown (Nuevo their studios open to the public and Laredo)" and the Nobody Hurts Me will conduct demonstrations of their Like My Baby" (inspired by a blind technique and working process. For date with a dominatrix), the Texas trio directions .or further information, call mixes blues, rockabilly, punk, and (410) 313-2787. country... " $7. (703)522-8340. Saturday, May 13 Wednesday, May 10 Enhancing Retention, Learning RHCP w/ Foo Fighters Transfer The Red Hot Chili Peppers have been That's what teachers are doing when, around so long, they're edging into after it seems like they've changed classic rock territory (seriously, J. the subject, they suddenly bring you Geils Band songs are. already Golden back to information you learned Oldies on most radio stations). On the twenty minutes ago, in a slightly dif- other hand, they were just on the Jerent form, to see if you can recall it cover of Rolling Stone, so you know and apply it to a new situation. So they must still be at least as important here goes: l'in about to start talking a~d influential as previous issue's about a band again, so that means a) · cover Lolita Britney Spears. Check I've heard this band before and hope 'em out tonight at the Baltimore you enjoy them as much as I did; b) Arena. Only $35.50- independent some of my friends are big fans and rock in the truest sense of the word. so I'm passing along the opinicns of Visit www.ticketmaster.com for ticket people I trust; or, c) I'm mouthing-the info. words of some guy in a suit who · work~ for some corporation owned Thursday, May 11 by another corporation owned by Mindless Self Indulgence another corporation owned by either That's what we think of this column Walt Disney or Westinghouse whose as, so when we found a band with that interest in your reaction to and rela- · name we felt we had to plug them. tionship with this band doesn't Here's how it works: I look through a extend any further than a graph bunch of press releases the bands send labeled "Marginal Propensity To out, which I can quote VERBATIM if Consume." Anyway, the band is the I want (they love it when I do). I take Push Stars, and you may have heard their words and change them a little their music featured in There's so it sounds more like the sage and Something About Mary, or caught knowing Around Town you've grown them on The Jenn.v Jones Show (no, to love, then put my name on it so that not that episode), and "in a perfect you keep on thinking that I know world, there would be world peace, a everything about every band in the cure for cancer, and the Push Stars world. So, here's what the PR flacks would be on top of the record charts." at Elektra want me to say: "Mindless Wow, that IS high praise, especially Self Indulgence is what you will be coming from ... the guys who stand to called when the music that you make profit... if you go to this show .... Well, has no chance of getting you laid, or never mind; Fletcher's. ( 41 0) 558- of making you seem cool in the eyes 1889. -Sutton Stokes of your p.c.-restrained, cookie-cutter PAGE 28 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES May 9, 2000

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astrolog~ a -go-go If your birthday is this week: Have you noticed that in that new Eminem song, MTV censors the word "clitoris?" Does this seem odd to you? It is the actual term for the body part, after all, and it's not being used in a particularly salacious man­ ner, so what the hell is up with that? Where is Eve Ensler when you need her?

Aries (March 21-Apri119): So you say that your new boyfriend 1) rarely wants to spend the night with you, 2) is the first guy you've dated who 1ikes to go shopping with you, and 3) loves the Pet Shop Boys. It doesn't take a freaking Meyerhoff scholar to unravel this mystery.

Taurus (April20-May 20): I understand that the unseasonably hot weather makes you do things you wouldn't normally do, but I have a feeling the prosecution is Baltimore classes are starting soon! going to be much less forgiving. I have a shovel if you want to borrow it, but I still think you're better off dropping the body in the Chesapeake.

Gemini (May 21-June 22): Tell somebody how you really feel about them. Take care to make sure this person does not have the power to frre you, arrest you, expel you or excommunicate you. With 60 years of proven success getting students into Cancer (June 23-July 22): Even though it was only for a second, and even though the schools of their choice, we're the chosen leader in you felt terribly guilty afterwards, and even though you didn't tell anybody, God knows that you felt a momentary twinge of pleasure at the news that ~ew York test prep. lust ask the millions who've taken Kaplan. Mayor Rudy Guiliani has prostate cancer. That is why you are going to Hell.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Cheer up! It's not that bad. Oh, wait, it is. Never mind.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your psyche will suffer a devastating blow when you realize that, contrary to what you've always believed, the great majority of the peo­ Call today to reserve your seat! ple who don't like you have a valid reason for their feelings.

Libra (Sept. 23-0ct. 23): Oh, there's nowhere to run. No one can save me, the dam­ age is done. Shot through the heart, and you're to blame - darling, you give love a bad name. I play my part, you play your game. You give love a bad name. Bad name. KAPLAN ~

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): I realize that you probably don't care about this, but do you have any idea how hard.it is to do the goth look in the summer? A full-length 1-800-KAP· TEST black lace dress with long sleeves just isn't quite as sexy when it's totally soaked www.kaplan.com through with sweat. This is why I plan to stay indoors till October. Air conditioning, it turns out, is very goth. •Test names are registered trademarks of their respective owners.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You'll fmd yourself grappling with some serious issues soon. You'd be surprised at the insights that a little LSD can provide. Note I said a little. Try not to go through acid the same way you go through marijuana, or you'll find yourself right back in that psyche ward, mister.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Tell somebody you love them. Try to pick somebody you actually do love, though, because if you just tell some random person, that could really end badly. And try to pick somebody who loves you back in the same way, because it really kind of sucks when somebody you're in love with tells you she loves you, kisses you on the cheek, ~nd then runs upstairs to boink her boyfriend.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take it from your resident astrologist: Don't go hi. Yeah, it's hip and all, and guys tend to be impressed, but it's not worth it. In addi­ tion to it being an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, its primary effect is to dou..: ble the amount of heartbreak and disappointment in your life.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Exam time helpful hint: Throw away the stress ball. Studies show that when it comes to reducing dangerous high levels of stress, few . things are as effective as bludgeoning helpless beings with weighty objects. Kidnap ... a small child from an elementary school, chain him to a bedpost, grab the old Louisville Slugger, and voila! Inner peace! Don't forget the all-important ball gag, . as piercing cries of agony tend to disturb the calm you've worked so hard to achieve.*

*Miss Andrews' views, which are likely shaped by the extreme stress of her upcom­ ing finals week and turbulent love life, are solely her own. The Retriever Weekly in no way advocates the abduction and subsequent beating of small children with base­ . . ;; . ; returri~;iur- . ball bafs. -ed. · ;"i'pg tbOse :.; ~teamy sutmnef months , = .to pubLish a pair of Rretriever:s.

Look for them on campus newsstands in late Ju ..ne

e ::. .. ···: ... ~; : ~ T;~r.:;~:~:~~:=:::: .. · d.];~rty'Ai1)Ust. .. PA E 30 May 9, 2000

Dawgs' Lacrosse Ends Season on Losing Note

CHRIS KERNER forUMBC. Retriever Weekly Editoridl Staff It was all downhill from there for the Retrievers, however, as the In its final game of the 2000 Terps ran off nine consecutive season, the UMBC men's lacrosse goals to take a commanding 12-5 team played its way to a very lead into the fourth quarter. uninspired 15-7 loss at the hands UMBC would finally score for of the Maryland Terrapins on the first time since early in the Saturday at UMBC Stadium. The second period when, at the 4:51 defeat dropped the Retrievers' mark of the fourth, senior Dan record back to .500 at 7-7 and Marohl fed fellow senior Jeff concluded a disappointing season Ratcliffe in front of the net, and for a team that went to the NCAA Ratcliffe rocketed a shot past the tournament the past two years. College Park goalie to make the Included in UMBC's past two score 12-6. successful campaigns were two The Terps would score two wins over highly-ranked College more times before UMBC junior Park, but this year it was not to be Chris Ogle notched the final tally for the Dawgs. It did not start out of the Retrievers' season at the that way, however, as the 10:00 mark. When all was said Retrievers jumped on the Terps and done, the Retrievers had lost early by taking a 5-3 lead midway their seventh game of the season through the second quarter. After as well as their chance to redeem sophomore Collin Meerholz tied something from their disappoint­ the game at 3-3 with an extra man ing 2000 campaign. goal just 12 seconds into the sec­ This game was not the only ond quarter, juniors Josh Hahn thing that the UMBC lacrosse squad lost on Saturday; they also Marianne Hayden I Retriever Weekly Staff and Charlie Gibson notched goals Shell-shocked: For the first time in three years, the Terps beat the Retrievers, concluding UMBC's of their own in the next six min­ season at 7-7. utes to build a two-goal advantage see MEN, page 33 Men's Track Places Third, Women Fourth At NEC's JENNIFER SCHILDROTH .72 seconds, brought the team six with a time of 1 minute, 50:88 the NEC record set by Mount St. coming from the field . Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff points with his third-place finish. seconds. Jonathon Briggs, one of Mary's Bernard Kitur in 1994. In the women's competition, Gerima also earned three senior-year point-scorers for Although UMBC came up however, the field events weighed The UMBC men's track and points in teh 110-mete high hur­ UMBC, finished almost seven short in the 400-meter relay, the the Retrievers down. Before field team shattered three NEC dles by finishing second, just .15 seconds behind Bare for a sixth­ Retrievers finished third in the adding the field scores to the final records but placed a distant third seconds behind Robert Morris place run. 1600-meter team race. FDU took tally, UMBC held a . nine-point in the Northeast Conference senior Jim Baughman. Monmouth The 1500-meter race went to the title in the 1600, as they would lead over St. Francis (PA) and Tournament held at Mount St. had its first of many inulti-scoring Knight senior Stephen Ondieki, again in the 3200-meter relay. only trailed three points behind Mary's over the weekend. The eventswith three runners earning who just barely edged in on the UMBC wouldn't have the same first-place Monmouth. In the end, women came in fourth, with J en points for the Hawks. NEC record by .54 seconds. FDU luck in the 3200-meter race as in though, the Lady Retrievers came Ecker and Cleopatra Borel both Farleigh Dickinson's Rohan captured second place as well, the 1600; the relay team barely up 11 points short for a fourth­ earning NEC ·records. Williams captured the title for the- though Ondieki' s sophomore hung on to a point-scoring posi­ place finish behind St. Fancis The men fought an all-around 400-meter run, but UMBC wasn't teammate Aidan Walsh came in a tion in eighth place. (PA). battle, fmding success both on the far behind. Amos Akasa pulled in full 5 .48 seconds behind the Junior Balvin Brown, the top The Retrievers started out track and in the field, but it was a yet another Retriever second­ champ. UMBC trailed again as scorer for the Retrievers, came slow on the track, with Crystal not enough to overcome the place finish. junior -Eric Benjamin moved up through for UMBC in the field Jackson earning seventh place in favorite Robert Morris. The Robert Morris topped off the from seventh in the prelims to fm­ events. Earning high points in the the 100-meter dash. Her time of Colonials knocked consecutive 400-meter hurdles, claiming both ish fifth. hammer throw and shot put, 14.31 seconds fell over two sec­ two-time champion Monmouth first and second places. Ondieki' s strength was seen Brown's crowning moment came onds short of Central Connecticut into second with a mere four-and­ Newcomer Justin Calvin couldn't again in the 5000-meter competi­ when he crushed the NEC record State junior Stacy Clarke's win­ a-half point lead, but UMBC catch teammate Baughman, tion with yet another first-place in the discus throw and won the ning time. came up 30.5 points short of the though he made a valiant effort, run. This time around, though, he event. UMBC fell through again in victory. earning the second-place title. But had two teammates hot on his trail Brown's effort was one of six the 100-meter hurdles as none of Freshman Aaron C. Johnson, Baughman was untouchable as he as FDU captured all three of the NEC record-shattering events in the Retrievers qualified for the one of many underclassman lead­ raced into the NEC record books top slots. St. Francis also had the field competition. Joseph final heat, but junior Orinthia ers at Morgan Field over the .11 seconds ahead of the previ- three team members earn points Madden of Monmouth defeated Jones found her way to third weekend, found victory in the .. ously-held record and 2.19 sec­ capturing fourth, sixth and sev­ the record in the hammer throw; place, up from sixth in the pre­ 100- and 200-meter dashes, set­ onds ahead of his teammate. enth places. Benjamin came St. Francis (PA) freshman Peter lims, in the 200-meter race. ting NEC records in both eyents. Again, Monmouth showed up on through again for UMBC at fifth Alouise in the javelin throw; Jones came through again for Johnson was not the only young­ the scoreboard three times with place. Monmouth again iri shot put with the Retrievers as the champ in the ster to score in the 100-meter · runners coming in third, sixth and UMBC freshman Ben Werbos Jonathon Kalnas; Colonial victory 400-meter run, finishing more competition; the five freshmen seventh. UMBC, however, sat out garnered only one point with an came in the form of J arrad Peneck than a second faster than second­ who placed in the top eight prom­ the race as the Retrievers' only eighth-place run in the 3000- in the long jump; and Monmouth place Michelle Higginbottom of ise to provide the NEC with heat­ runner, sophomore Theo meter steeplechase, while St. finished its sweep with Matt Mount St. Mary's. Junior ed competition for the next three Demetrades, didn't qualify for the Francis again captured multiple Stafford's pole vault. Melanece Moore faced some dis­ years. final heat. titles with the top two scorers. Mike Harte, Marc Haskins, appointment in the race however, Johnson was joined by team­ Fairleigh Dickinson captured Fairleigh Dickinson came Huguens Jean and Edward as she dropped from third place in mate Negasi Gerima in the 200; NEC records in the next two through once more in the 10000- Warner all brought in points for while Johnson's record-breaking events- the 800- and 1500-meter meter with sophomore Frances UMBC in the field events, but time of 21.03 seconds earned him races. In the 800, FDU sopho­ Kipkuna, but none of the con­ Robert Morris dominated with the title, Gerima, trailing by only more James Bare earned the title tenders came close to breaking over half of the Colonial's points see TRACK, page 31 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS May 9, 2000 PAGE 31

Softball Looks to NEC Tournament one, Jackie Ruffin suffered the loss strik­ Monmouth this past week, the UMBC five runs, including a three-run homer by after 3-3 Week ing out seven, despite allowing nine runs. baseball team locked up the #1 seed in the Jason Jubak. UMBC would then win the Crystal Ray continued to be a force at the upcoming NEC tournament. Last season, game in the eleventh as Andy Zielinski's The UMBC softball team split its six plate with a 2-3 day including a homerun. the Retrievers failed to even qualify for two-out double scored Brad Glascock to contests last week, finishing with a 3-3 The second game wrote the same story as the postseason, but now they have won give the Retrievers a 8-7 advantage. Ira record. The Retrievers began their week Angie Amedro suffered the loss allowing the Southern Division of the conference Carlson pitched five scoreless innings to with a doubleheader with Sacred Heart. 10 runs on 10 Pirate hits. Despite Ray's 3- with a 16-6 mark. secure the win and to go 5-2 on the season. UMBC lost the first game 5-4, but suf­ 3 game at the plate with 2 RBis, UMBC In order to capture the division, the UMBC finishes the regular season with fered an even greater loss after junior was unable to get enough run support off Retrievers had to win both of their con­ an impressive 29-18-1 record overall and Crystal Ray was with under her eye with a Pirate starter Laurie Davidson, who shut ference games this week. After taking 16-6 in the NEC following their 1999 line drive. Luckily for UMBC, Ray's down the Retrievers for six solid innings care of Wagner on Saturday, UMBC trav­ campaign in which they were less than injury would only sideline her for three in the 10-3 defeat. eled to New Jersey to take on the spectacular. They will most likely play games. Freshman pitcher Angie Amedro Monmouth Hawks on Sunday. The against Wagner in their first round match­ picked up the win in the second game in a Men to Face Illinois, Women to Face Retrievers were trailing 7-2 entering the up this weekend at The Sandcastle in 5-2 victory over the Pioneers. USC in Tennis NCAA's ninth inning, but they would rally to score Atlantic City, New Jersey. Playing without Ray, UMBC sweeped its doubleheader versus Mount St. Mary's For the frrst time ever for the men and to raise its NEC record to 13-7. Once for the second straight year for the again, Angie Amedro picked up a win in women, UMBC tennis will begin competi­ the first half of the doubleheader, 6-2. The tion in the NCAA Tournament next week. Retrievers jumped out to an early 5-0 lead The men, after sweeping Robert Morris 4- after two Mount errors in the third inning 0 in the finals of last week's NEC led to four runs. The Mountaineers would Tournament, will travel to Champaign, finally get to Amedro in the fifth, tallying Illinois on May 13. The Fighting Illini two runs. Jackie Ruffin then came in to earned the number six seed in the round of pitch the seventh, shutting down the 64, despite holding the number five rank­ Mount to end the game. In game two, ing in the country. After the women's team Ruffin led the way for the Retrievers, defeated Quinnipiac 5-0 in the finals of shutting down the Mount to open up an the NBC's, it earned the right to play USC early 7-1 lead. The key contributor on on May 12. The Retrievers will travel to offense for the Retrievers was Jessica Los Angeles and face a tough task defeat­ Graziano who totaled five hits in just ing the Trojans who are currently ranked seven at-bats. number 12 in the country. With Ray back in the lineup for a dou­ bleheader versus East Carolina, the Baseball to Enter NEC Tournament as Retrievers hoped to battle versus a tough Top Seed Pirates squad, which has been ranked in File Photo the top 25 all season long. However, With its doubleheader win over Turnaround Season: UMBC's much-improved baseball team earned the #1 seed UMBC's inability to score runs led the Fairleigh Dickinson on April 30 and their in this week's NEC tournament by amassing a strong 16-6 conference record. Retrievers to two straight defeats. In game two road wins against Wagner and

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from TRACK, page 30 to third. Freshman Sherita Baker also season, and her 10000-meter victory throw, with Vicki Giacone bringing in dropped, though more drastically than earned 10 points for the lagging UMBC's only points with yet another the first heat to seventh in the finals. McNair, from fifth to eighth. Both Retrievers. eighth:.place finish. Though UMBC didn't field a runner Retrievers still managed to earn points, UMBC faired decently in the relay Borel helped turn the Retrievers in the 400-meter hurdles, this was the however. Patterson again pushed up the events, capturing eighth in the 400, third around when she captured the NEC title first woman's event to see an NEC record board on Sunday, jumping from 1Oth to in the 1600 and fifth in the 3200, bring­ in shot put. Her title-winning victory broken. Genita Dickey, a junior at Robert third, pushing Retriever Mary Beth ing in 12 points for the Retrievers. earned 10 points for UMBC, as did Morris, squeeked past the existing record Rollins from fourth down to fifth. In the field events, the story didn't Giacone's first-place finish in the discus by .26 seconds. Sophomore Hannah Benjamin improve much for the Retrievers. UMBC throw. Disappointment continued to plague attempted to compensate for the loss by entered four competitors in the hammer Melanece Moore earned points for the Retrievers in the next two events as placing third in the 3000-meter run and throw, but only junior Cleopatra Borel UMBC in the long jump and the triple placings in the finals fell from prelimi­ fourth in the 5000-meter. Sophomore Jen scored any points with her eighth-place jump. The Mount dominated in the long nary standings. Sakinah Patterson of Ecker did her one better, though, by plac­ standing. In UMBC's tough competition, jump, though, capturing second, third Long Island University had a shocking ing third in the 5000-meter and breaking Nicole Hollman of St. Francis (PA) and fourth. jump from seventh on Saturday to first in one of two NEC records in women's track claimed the NEC crown with a record­ UMBC's fourth-place overall finish the finals Sunday in the 800-meter run, competition over the weekend in the breaking 5.58-meter lead over her closest was contributed to by several of the pushing UMBC sophomore Startisha 10000-meter race. Ecker was second in competition, Monmouth's Lacy Johnson. team members, with Ecker and Jones McNair from her second-place standing the NEC in both events after the regular UMBC's fate continued in the javelin leading the pack at 16 points apiece.

r PAGE 32 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS May 9, 2000 TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT BY CHRIS KERNER UMBC Set to Win Second Consecutive NEC Commisioner's Cup The Northeast Conference did not favored to win from the beginning and it squads is the NCAA Tournament where retired after this issue. So if I offended know what its was getting into when was only a matter of time before that pre­ the men will face lllinois-Champaign in you- too bad! That's just how I felt. they agreed to accept UMBC into its diction came to fruition. There is no NEC the first round and the women will play the If you enjoyed reading - what are family prior to the 1998-1999 sports championship on the men's side, but the University of Southern California in their you, freaking crazy! All in all, it was a year. That first year, the Retrievers UMBC men would have been victorious secon<:J straight tournament appearance. good experience; except for all of the dominated and now, in their second either way. After all, they took the ECACs Less than 48 hours after the tennis groupies. It was really quite frustrating year, they are showing a repeat per­ by over 250 points to the next closest team wins, the UMBC golf team earned its sec­ to have all of these women waiting formance. From the unbelievable while dominating nearly every, individual ond straight NEC title. In the tournament outside the newspaper office just to get accomplishments of the men's soccer and relay event. at Scotch Valley Country Club in a glimpse of my face or other parts of team to the women's swimming domi­ The men's basketball teaiiL did not Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania, the my body, if you know what I'n:i sayin'. nation of the pool to the women~s come through as expected, however, leav­ Retrievers won by six strokes and placed Every time 1 try and sit down to a nice lacrosse three-peat to the men's golf ing much turmoil in its wake. Tom two individuals in the top 10, including peaceful dinner at the Pub, I am imme­ repeat. The amazing tennis teams' Sullivan's defending regular sea.Son Mike Ball, who finished frrst while setting diately surrounded by hot chicks. sweeps, the 1999-2000 campaign-has champs struggled following the loss of a tournament record with his two-day total Ahhhh, but I digress. been no different. several key players, including an integral of -4,140 (70-70). I am sure that there are those of you The amazing year in sports began in link in junior guard Tim Hyland just two Adding to UMBC's overall destruction out there who believe that you could the fall as Head Men's Soccer Coach games into the season. The Retrievers of NBC competition was the women's do a better job than me. You know who Pete Caringi and his squad came played out the rest of the season with only lacrosse team's third consecutive confer­ you are. Those of you who wait fever­ together to provide the most excite­ three guards on their roster, and the loss of ence title this past Saturday. The 13-12 ishly by the paper bins on Tuesday ment that any UMBC team has gener­ Hyland visibly hurt the squad. Sullivan has win over Monmouth marked the team~s mornings just to read my column and ated since I came here in 1996. That regrouped, however, and signed four very 21st straight win in the conference against let me know how bad it was or how team smoked 19 consecutive oppo­ promising recruits for next season that will no losses~ an amazing achievement to say stupid I am. To all of you l say~ screw nents, including all of its NEC opposi­ surely improve t.hls team's outlook. the least. you. If you didn't like it, then you tion and even winning major tourna­ In the spring. the Retrievers' command If you are wondering what this all should have done something about it. ments across the country like the over the NEC rose to a new leveL Four dif- means, it's quite simple: UMBC's sports Anyway, seeing as how this will be UNLV Tournament. They were ranked the final Take It or Leave It that I will as high as 11 111 in Soccer America and ever write, I would just like to say that as high as 13th in the NSCAA/Adidas I hope someone out there got some poll, and Caringi was named the South "Jf you are wondering what this all m.eans it's quite simple: enjoyment or took something away Atlantic Regional Coach of the Year. UMBC's sports teams are damn good. Students and faculty from one of these articles that I have To go along with the team awards, alike need to support their teams and their school more by com­ written. It was my wish when I began there were six individual Retrievers this column oYer two years ago that it named to the All-Conference teams in ing to games and showing interest in these sports." would atleast stir up some emotion in the NBC. people, whether that was anger, agree­ Their dominance continued in the ment or bewilderment, I didn't really postseason as they won a hardfought 6- ferent teams have already captured confer­ teams are damn good. Students and facul­ care. 5 four overtime. shootout over ence titles while two others still have a ty alike need to support their teams and It wasn't intended as an ego thing, Lafayette in an NCAA play-in game. chance to do so. These performances have their school more by coming to games and where I thought my opinion was more Once they made the tournament, the been so impressive that they have literaily showing interest in these .sports. These important than anyone else's. It was Retrievers were slated to take on the left other schools in the dust. Prior to the people workhard so that they canperfomi simply my venue to express my opin­ number-one team in the nation, the spring, it appeared as though UMBC ~t their best to .represent our school, and ion each: week. about the thing I love Duke Blue Devils, in a game that no would not have•.• muc~ of a, chanc~ ,. at .the they do a hell of a job. It's ah9ut time some most in .lify: sports. So I hope .that one gave them a chance to ~in. Just Commissioner's Cup. ·but following itsre.;. pf . you people . came out and actually some of you were able to get some­ like they had done all season, however, cent &howirigs~ · UMBC has the award showed that their bard work.means some­ thing out of it: I know that I sure have. the team continued to amaze as it built locked up. thihg. It doesn'ttake mucJ:l'to pick:one or For the last time ever, it is I, a 3-1 lead late in the second half. Itall began with UMBClennis. under two games a season when your schedule is Christopher Kerner, · saying that ·this Although it would eventually succumb the master tea<:;hings ofKeith Puryear, who lighter an.d go take in a ballgame. Besides, has been my opinion and you can just to puke in overtime, Caringi's crew was recently named the NBC Coach of the it doesn't cost anything to get in anyway. shove it up your ass ... errrrrr, I meanJ deserves to be recognize<:I for .its Year for the second. cons~utive year. Bottom line:.Go to the games, you have no take it or leave it. tremendous achievements as well as Puryear's teams cruised tlu'ough the NEC ;excuse not to! Wait, there is just one more thing. being commen

UMBC Golf Off To NCAA's Following NEC Victory from GOLF, page 36 men, Mike Ball and Dan Repath," helped er from last year's squad," said Repath. be highly rewarding under Kotten's leader­ the team considerably, said Kotten. ''The " ...But we came together and got good ship. Thomas Klimek, Will Repath's classmate, juniors have been consistent all year with scores and now we're going to the region­ "Going to the NCAA's is a dream come shared 16th place at 156 (79-77) with three their play (Will Repath, Thomas Klimek and als." true. Being able to compete for a national other players from St. Francis (PA), Mt. St. Dan Davey) and will always put their best "We knew that we could win the title, championship and represent the school is a Mary's and CCSU. UMBC junior Dan out on the course. With Dan Repath and particularly after our showing at the great honor. It also says something very pos­ Davey finished at 24th with a total of 158 Mike Ball making the adjustment to life at Princeton tourney, if we played well. And itive about the [UMBC] men's golf team­ (77-81), placing even with James Stefanik of UMBC [and] the fact there are few, if any, that's exactly what they did-they played that they could raise the level of their play­ ccsu. home matches, and just playing college golf their best golf of the year." Kotten com­ ing to make this a reality shows the kind of Ball and Dan Repath received All-NEC can take a year or so. That [Mike Ball and mented. - determination they have." said Kotten. honors for finishing in the top 10 of the indi­ Dan Repath] did so is a testament to their The Retrievers' '99-' 00 campaign is not "I'm very proud of these young men and viduals and were recognized at the awards hard work." Kotten continued. over yet, as their success in the NEC will what they have accomplished and look for­ ceremony after the tournament. "[The] "It was good that we were able to defend take them into their fust ever NCAA tour­ ward to seeing what they can do at the determination and maturation of the fresh- the title [even] with only one returning play- nament appearance which should prove to regionals," he added. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS May 9, 2000 PAGE 33 Club Sports UMBC Wins Gold at St. Mary's and place. last place, but they came away knowing a-Thon event, held in the UC Plaza. Performs in the UC The next race pitted the varsity men's that they had proven that they could do Rowers and coaches could be found, four, made up of coxswain llse Schweitzer, what rowers do every day. sweaty and grunting, rowing their hearts Last Saturday, May 29, the UMBC crew stroke Scott Riley, three-seat Gary Flester, UMBC's greatest victory on 'Saturday out on ergometers for all of UMBC to see. team traveled to beautiful St. Mary's two-seat Alfredo Calderon, and bowman occurred during the women's varsity four The torture didn't end there-for $1, County to take part in the St. Mary's Matt Brundage, against Catholic race, in which coxswain Pat Marron, stroke onlookers could force a rower to do a Seahawk Sprint, a 1600-meter crew race University and St. Mary's College. After a Natasha Davis, three-seat Jackie "power ten," a series of ten strokes done as sponsored by the college. Present at the hotly-contested race, the men emerged on Zimmermann, two-seat Melissa Kramer, hard as the rower can manage. After a half­ race were rowing teams from UMBC, top, taking first place in that particular heat. and bow-woman Lisa DeLucia raced hour of solid rowing, just one power ten is Catholic University, Towson University, Overall, the men took second to Annapolis against Catholic and a mixed enough to cause intense pain. Not surpris­ Annapolis Rowing Club, College Park and Rowing Club, which rowed in a later heat. Towson/College Park boat. Having already ingly, faculty advisor Dr. Lou Cantori St. Mary's College. Even after this dignified finish, the varsity earned bronze and silver medals in other showed up with hands full of money, UMBC enjoyed several incredible per­ and novice men took to the water again in races this year, the women earned the ulti­ determined to make his voice heard formances at the race, beginning with the a varsity eight race against Catholic, in mate honor of finishing in first place and throughout the Plaza, as he counted off 10 novice men's race, in which the lineup of which UMBC placed second. Perhaps the winning gold medals. After they received strokes for each dollar that he contributed. coxswain Pat Marron, stroke Julius Knapp, day's funniest moments came during the these awards, they seized coxswain Pat The crew team's season is near over, three-seat Dennis Strassmann, two-seat mixed eight race, in which UMBC spon­ Marron and ceremonially threw him irito with boats scheduled to race last Sunday, Josh Overmiller and bowman Rob Thomas sored a boat of eight coxswains from the the water. Quickly hopping out, Marron May 7 in the Mid-Atlantic Collegiate won second place. Similar results were various schools at the race. Unlike many of proceeded to chase his crew around the Crew Championships in Occoquan, seen in the women's novice four category, the athletes there that day, the coxswains launch area until he had given each of them Virginia, to be followed by the as coxswain Jason Gembicki, stroke Cathy had little or no rowing experience, and a wet hug. Philadelphia Dad Vail Regatta on May 11 Madryzkowski, three-seat Brigid Hagerty, many rowers _traded jokes about whether Last week's crew activities did not end and 12. For more information about crew two-seat Nina Annab, and bow-woman the coxswains·· boat would cross the finish there, however, as this past Thursday, the or to join our team next season, email llse Jessie Merchant also finished in second line in one piece. The coxswains finished in entire team participated in the annual Row- at [email protected].

Monmouth Succumbs For Third Straight Year from WOMEN, page 36 The Pioneers battled back with two straight goals of their own. Pioneer Monmouth would strike right back with a attacker Keri Remington cut the Retriever goal at the 1:15 mark after a misplay from lead to one after her goal at 18:13 and goalie Amy Jagoda to tie the score once teammate Laura Mack tied the contest again at 11-11. with just r'tlnder 17 minutes remaining in With just 40 seconds remaining, the half, beating UMBC goalie Amy Miller set up Gerhart's .third goal of the Jagoda. Remington would lead the contest, but the lead would only last 20 Pioneers with four goals on the day while seconds after Hawk attacker Sherry Mack totaled two. Brooks squared up the match 12-12, set­ Tied 4-4 at intermission, the ting the stage for Tirocchi's game-win­ Retrievers opened the second half on fire, ning goal. Tirocchi, who earlier in the scoring three straight goals, including one week was named to the NBC's First Team each from Miller, Staines and Gerhart. Marianne Hayden I Retriever Weekly Staff All-Conference, along with the sopho­ Just like the first half, the Pioneers Turtle Waxed: The Terps dominated the Retrievers 15-7, including a 9-0 run in more duo of Ashley Staines and Gerhart answered right back with three straight the second and third quarters. and junior defenseman Michelle Clancy, goals of their own. Michelle Bruckner tal­ took on her opponent one-on-one. lied her first goal at 17:06 and Remington Tir~cchi's shot with just 12 seconds added another two to square the match, 7- Marohl, Ratcliffe remaining beat the Monmouth netminder, 7. Stacy Makris, in the upper left comer of Sacred Heart was unable to ever take the net to seal the Hawks fate, 13-12. the lead, however, as the Retrievers fin­ Conclude Their Careers NEC Player of the Year Heather Bryan ished the contest on a 7-1 run. Staines was led the Hawks, tallying four goals in once again the catalyst to the run, netting defeat. Miller, Gerhart and Gallup each four more goals to set the tournament In Disappointing Fashion totaled three goals while Staines added record and earn a spot for her team in the two in the victory. The game marked the finals versus Monmouth. Despite beating third consecutive year that UMBC has the Piorteers by six goals, the Retrievers from MEN, page 30 leaping past Marohl in the goal-scoring faced the Hawks in the championship sloppy play showed as they committed 14 category in the UMBC record books dur­ match of the NEC tournament. more turnovers than Sacred Heart. lost six seniors, including key contribu­ ing Saturday's game against the Terps. Getting the opportunity to play in the UMBC also lost the groundball advantage tors like Marohl, Ratcliffe, defenseman Overall, the Retrievers finished 7-7 fmal was no guarantee, however, as in the 18-15, while also losing draw controls, Zack Burke, and midfielders Dan Barger and 4-2 in the newly-formed Eastern semifinal contest versus Sacred Heart, 14-7. Luckily for the Retrievers, that and Mike Hicks. Collegiate Athletic Conference. They UMBC needed a great second half to pull sloppy play did not carry over to In their stellar careers, both Marohl competed well against top-ten teams like off the 14-8 victory. Sophomore Ashley Sunday's amazing performance. and Ratcliffe scored more than I 00 goals Georgetown (11-10 loss) and Duke (13- Staines proved to be the difference, scor­ The Retrievers concluded their season and contributed a great deal to the emer­ 10 loss), but losses to Bucknell and Navy ing a tournament record eight goals. amassing a 10-7 overall mark, but contin­ gence of UMBC lacrosse on a national really hurt. The Retrievers did have a ros­ UMBC got off to a fast start following ue to hold on to their conference-winning level. Marohl leaves the program ranked ter with 26 of their 38 players being two early goals from Staines to take the streak, stretching the mark to 21. With third all-time in assists (he added three underclassmen, so they gained some valu­ lead 2-0. Junior Loree Miller assisted on just four seniors on the roster, the more to his total on Saturday) and as able experience for next year. All in all, Staines' first goal at the 22-minute mark Retrievers will bring back almost all of being named to the All-American team as the 2000 version of the men's lacrosse and just 50 seconds later, sophomore their talent in their quest for a fourth a junior. Ratcliffe exits with a combined team underachieved, but the future looks Jamie Gerhart would assist on her second. straight title next season. total of 129 points in his career, including bright for this young squad. TRW.UMBC.EDU. PAGE 34 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS May 9, 2000

·· fiJ'ef!Retrlever ~ ~f!Bklis. Funfest this . · Wed.nesday on . the UC Plaza to pic~ up

-. ~our p.a.ss They took a bite out ·(good for of criine two to a spedal advance . screening of SMALL TIME CROOKS

,( ·· .· ...~ .: on the evening of Tuesday, May 16 at Loews

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Classified Classified I II I Club Notices Lost & Found Advertising Display I ~ . r I~ I I ~ \' I ~ I~ UMBC student clubs A free service offered may make announce­ to UMBC students, Advertising R \\' I ~ L IZ L )' $6.00 per 30 words . ments only in this faculty and staff. section. Five lines are Limit 5 lines. $0.50 per bold word' $20 per column inch Un1vers1ty Cer1ter 214 free, each additional $20 for advertise­ 1000 Hilltop Circle Does not include: ments under 20 col­ Balt1rnore. MD 21250 line costs $1.50. Personals PERSONALS, LOST umn inches (410) 455-1260 The cost is $1.00 for a & FOUND, CLUB ( 41 0) 455-1265 (FAX) Thrift Shop four-line ad and 25 . NOTICES or All classified display Mor1.-Fn. 9 a.rn. to 5 p.rn. A service for current cents for each addi­ THRIFT SHOP. advertisements UMBC students pro­ tional line. Ads in all See separate rate under $30 must CldSSificcJs e1re due at 4:30 prn viding three free capital letters or schedules on this be prepaid on the TtHJrsday preceedlflg the lines of advertising including bold lines page for more before insertion in 1ssue and rnay be placed in for any item for sale cost an additional 50 information. The Retriever Weekly. person. mailed in or faxed. under $50. cents.

HELP WANTED: 2926. Fax resumes to (610) 940-1520 SATION FOR A 2-WEEK, PART­ CLUB NOTICES: (attn: HR Director) or apply TIME COMMITMENT. CONFI­ Doctor/chiropractic assistant ChildCare Worker needed for online at DENTIALITY AT ALL TIMES. The Sociology Department is Great job, salary. bonus and bene­ Sunday mornings at local www.aroundcampus. com/jobs. CALL FAMILY BUILDING seeking student representatives fits, F/f-P/f, Towson and Federal Presbyterian Church, 10 minutes CENTER, INC. (410) 494-8113, for next year! If you are a Hill areas. Fax resumes to (410) from campus, 10:30-12:15, . TIRED OF DORM ROOM LIV­ TOWSON. · Sociology Major (or know one) 837-1595 $7 .50/hour. Background check lNG? Let the Courts at Nunnery looking for leadership opportuni­ required. Call (410) 566-2926. Lane provide you with Fraternities * Sororities * Clubs * ties this is it! E-mail: ATTN: MAY GRADUATES. Affordable off campus living. 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Zimmerman's troops Both track teams excel 3 0 30 fall hard against Terps at NEC Championship in season finale in Emmitsburg

Tirocchi's Late Tally·Lifts UMBC Women's Lacrosse to Third Straight Northeast Conference Title Sophomore Ashley Staines Named Tournment MVP After Scoring Ten Goals in Two Games

PRATIK S. SHAH play. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff The Hawks jumped out to an early lead on UMBC, taking a 7-3 The UMBC women's lacrosse advantage with 25 minutes team achieved the unthinkable remaining. Coach Monica Yeakel, this past Sunday by pulling off a who earlier in the week was thrilling, come-from-behind vic­ named NBC Coach of the Year, tory over Monmouth, 13-12 at rallied her troops to tally three Wagner College Stadium in straight goals. Tirocchi, junior Staten Island, New York, to win attacker Loree Miller and sopho­ its third consecutive NBC title. more attacker Shannon Gallup Junior Renee Tirocchi proved to each netted a goal to reduce the be the hero after scoring the go­ Monmouth lead to one, 7-6. The ahead goal with just five seconds Hawks responded by scoring two remaining to raise the Retrievers goals of their own with six min­ to their third conference champi­ utes remaining to take a 10-8 onship in as many years and help­ advantage. ing to lift UMBC's NBC-record Gallup and sophomore mid­ winning streak to 21 games. fielder Jamie Gerhart tallied two The finals pitted the top-seed­ goals just seconds apart to knot ed Retreievers against the second­ the score at 10-10. Gerhart would seeded Monmouth Hawks, a team then ·set up -Gallup for her third UMBC had previously defeated goal of the day with just 2:56 in the regular season. 17-11. The remaining to give the Retrievers File Photo Retrievers trailed for most of the their first lead at 11-10. Victorious, Again: For the third consecutive year, the UMBC women's Iacross squad captured the contest, but would finally gain the NEC crown. lead with under three minutes to see WOMEN, page 33 Men's Golf D.efends NEC Crown As Ball Sets Record

DAVE CHEN Scotch Valley Country Club in UMBC freshman Mike Ball ment, Walko also carted a 140 tied for fourth at 151 (77-74) with Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania. placed first overall in the individ­ over two days, but the course was three other players from Wagner Runner-up Central Connecticut ual category with two consecutive a par 71 rather than a par 72. andCCSU. The Retriever men's golf State finished six strokes behind two-under par 70s over the two­ Runner-up Jared LaMothe of UMBC junior Will Repath team, led by Head Coach Pat (606, 311-295). Wagner College day tournament and finished at CCSU finished three strokes placed 12th at 155 (79-76) with Kotten (lOth year), battled for the (619), along with host school St. 140, setting a new tournament behind Ball and completed the three other player from Mount '99-'00 NBC title against 10 other Francis (PA) (620) and Robert record. Ironically, ~all's new tournament at 143 (71-72). Saint Mary's College, St. Francis NBC schools and emerged victo­ Morris College (621) filled out mark broke the old record set by Coming in third was St. Francis (PA) and Monmouth University rious with a two-day total of 600 the remaining spots in the top UMBC's Tim Walko in last year's (PA) senior John Handrigan with who also had totals of 155. (303-297) over May 1-2, 2000 at five. NBC tournament. In that tourna- a 149 (76-73) card score. Dan Repath, Ball's fellow classmate, see GOLF, page 32

~ UMBC ~ Softball

Friday 5/12 - Sunday 5114 Friday 5/12 - Sunday 5/14 NEG Tournament NEC Tournament at Long Island University at the Sandcastle Brooklyn, New York Atlantic City, New Jersey

Women's Men's Tennis Tennis

Saturday 5/13 Sunday 5114 UMBC @ #5 Illinois UMBC @ #12 USC

www.geocities.com/cplnym/mroster.html Superior Links: Freshman Mike Ball (top row, second from left) and his teammates earned a six stroke victory over the next closest competition in the NEC championships.