Some Fantastic
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SOME FANTASTIC Issue 1; Vol. 1, No. 1 $1.00 Fall, 2004 Welcome! Just for Fun: Star Trek vs. Star Wars With Wendy Stengel A little over a year ago, I at- tempted to start a sf-based, semi- professional critical magazine. Un- The October, 2003 issue (#86) of MacAddict magazine contains fortunately, despite setting guide- numerous comparisons between many different types of compet- lines that at the time seemed emi- ing software and computer services and makes recommendations nently reasonable, the idea was far as to which is the best buy for the reader. Because MacAddict has more ambitious than I had either always been a somewhat tongue-in-cheek publication, they also do the time or the money for. It cer- tainly didn’t help that my idea to a few more light-hearted comparisons: the American League vs. start the venture virtually coincided the National League, Bourbon vs. Scotch, Gummi Bear vs. Gummi with the birth of my son Brandon. It Worm, etc. However the one that caught our attention was the Star never saw the light of day Wars vs. Star Trek comparison. Here’s MacAddict’s list of 20 com- So, from the smallish collection parison points (forgive me for not having the page number, the of ashes from the ill-fated startup— issue has long since found its way into a recycling bin,) with our i.e., the few articles and reviews that I compiled—I decided to go picks and commentary. Note that MacAddict did not supply any the fanzine route, which my current commentary for their picks. resources more easily encompass. All those “ashes” are on display 1. Death Star vs. Borg Cube. within, and as a result this first is- MacAddict: Death Star. sue will have a decided critical- zine feel. Matthew: I concur. Yeah, the Borg Cube quickly self- In future issues, Some Fantastic regenerates and can go back in time, but their computer net- will certainly much more resemble work security leaves a lot to be desired (see the ST:TNG epi- an eclectic sounding board. While I sode “Best of Both Worlds, Part II” and Star Trek: Nemesis to intend to keep sf very much in the see what I’m talking about.) Furthermore, the Death Star can foreground, politics, humour (yes, flat-out destroy whole planets. spelled with a “u,” just be glad I won’t use “Meihem in Ce Klasrum” Wendy: I’m on the Borg Cube here, because, well, there was by Dolton Edwards as my spelling more than one. Death Star: Only one, and a rag tag fleet blew it guide moving forward,) social is- up. Borgs are so much more adaptable. sues and other pop culture phe- Winner: Death Star (SW). nomena will certainly find a place 2. Light saber vs. phaser. within. I also hope to print articles MacAddict: Light saber. by friends, acquaintances and any- one else who submits material. Wendy: CLEARLY PHASERS RULE. No contest. Feedback and letters are wel- Matthew: Wendy’s right. Kind of an unfair comparison though come as well. Contact information as these are not equivalent weapons. The Light saber looks is on page 2—just be aware that cool (especially the two-handed one Darth Maul used) and is a we don’t pay anyone for their sub- functional tool, but you really can’t do anything with it if your missions. This is a labor of love. enemy is more than 10 feet away. The phaser can stun, vapor- I hope that my fellow writers and I manage to entertain you! ize and in a pinch can be set to overload which makes it a very potent explosive device. For an analogy, think of the scene in — Matthew Raiders of the Lost Ark when the swordsmen block Indiana’s “If I sell two issues, I feel like John Grisham.” –Alyssa Jones, Chasing Amy path and he just shoots them. This analogy how clearly it’s written, it seems the penalty also gives me bonus geek points for cross- for breaking The Prime Directive is about as referencing another Harrison Ford-George serious as a ticket for a moving violation. Lucas flick. Lame. Winner: Phaser (ST) Winner: The Force (SW) 3. Millennium Falcon vs. Enterprise NCC-1701. 5. The Rebellion vs. The Federation. MacAddict: Millennium Falcon. MacAddict: The Rebellion. Matthew: I concur. However, the hand is Matthew: Tie. Both are noble groups that rep- stacked in the favor of Star Wars; notice that resent all that is good in sentient species. I the comparison wasn’t with the Enterprise can’t really pick a winner. NCC-1701D or even with the Reliant from Wendy: The Feds, baby. Noble, yes, but with ST:DS9. I’d take either of them over the Falcon some rot at the core. Far more interesting. in a heartbeat. Winner: Tie. (none) Wendy: Millennium Falcon, but that would 6. The Gungan vs. The Ferengi. change if I ever saw the MF being held in the MacAddict: The Ferengi. hand of a godling. I suspect it wouldn’t han- Wendy: Ferengi are funny, and so detailed in dle the pressure. their characterizations! Love ‘em. Winner: Millennium Falcon (SW) Matthew: I whole-heartedly agree. This one is 4. The Force vs. The Prime Directive. not even close. In fact, there are 285 reasons MacAddict: The Force. (i.e., the Rules of Acquisition) why the Ferengi Wendy: The Prime Directive. Eh, I’m weak on win easily. this. If you’d asked me BEFORE the more re- Winner: The Ferengi (ST) cent additions to Star Wars, the Force would 7. Ewoks vs. Tribbles. have won, hands down. But now? It’s some MacAddict: Tribbles. crappy biological determinism. Screw that. Matthew: I agree. Tribbles make a nice, sooth- Matthew: The Force. Despite the laughable ing noise when you stroke them and can warn midi-chlorians business (it makes it sound like you when there’s a Klingon in disguise. Yeah, being strong in The Force is like coming down the Ewoks helped win a rebellion, but they’re with the flu, and that a shot of antibiotics will just too nauseatingly cute and they reek of clear it away,) The Force just kicks ass. Despite merchandising opportunities to small chil- dren. Blech. Some Fantastic is fanzine edited and published by Matthew Wendy: Tribbles, but I loved the Ewoks. I did. I Appleton. Although it is a quarterly publication, special, even had a button with two baby Ewoks on it. unscheduled issues may appear. All submissions are wel- come via snail mail or email at: Yes. I did. I bought it. I admit it… Winner: Tribbles (ST) Some Fantastic c/o Matthew Appleton 8. C-3PO vs. Spock. 4656 Southland Avenue MacAddict: Spock. Alexandria, VA 22312 [email protected] Wendy: Spock. Um... Okay, C3PO has a cute, cute accent. But, he’s too friggin’ limited. When making your submission, please make sure to in- clude both your snail mail and email addresses. Print cop- Spock, Spock has dimensions. And, he’s a ies of are mailed to all those whose work (regardless of mental rapist, which was such an interesting length) appears in the given issue. place to put that character, and you could tell Distribution is primarily via PDF and is free. However, if you Nemoy was having a hard time with that wish to have a copy mailed to you, please mail a check for $1.00 to the address above. Payment can also be made via scene, and it’s just heart-rending to watch. PayPal to the email address above. Donations are welcome. Matthew: At least we’re unanimous, but what All contents are © 2004 by Matthew Appleton, except where the hell? This is a crummy comparison—you authorship is otherwise noted. Bylined articles are the compare C-3PO with Data, not Spock. Either copyright of the credited author(s). way the Star Trek universe wins, but at least Some Fantastic 2 Fall, 2004 the comparison is more apt. ous subtexts, I’d rather it be brother-sister Winner: Spock (ST) than mother-daughter. 9. R2-D2 vs. Data. Winner: Leia (SW) MacAddict: R2-D2. 12. Emperor Palpatine vs. Borg Queen. Matthew: What drugs are the MacAddict staff MacAddict: Borg Queen. taking? There’s really no comparison for R2- Wendy: I’m with MacAddict here. Borg! Queen! D2 in the Trek universe. Still, I’d take Data She is SEXY. She gets Data to SERIOUSLY over R2-D2 any day. Ignoring events in Star question allegiances. Brent Spiner’s Wars: Attack of the Clones, R2-D2 is about as pained/delighted look when she blows on his mobile as a Dalek and the only true compari- new skin and gives him goosebumps? GEN- son to it is Twikki from Buck Rogers. Double- IUS. Best Data moment. Plus, her head de- blech, but I get double bonus points for refer- tached. The Emperor is just creepy and so un- encing two more sci-fi universes. sexy. Wendy: Data. R2 is a trashcan that beeps. Matthew: I respectfully disagree. Yeah, the Winner: Data (ST) Borg Queen is a major babe, but she was un- 10. Chewbacca vs. Montgomery Scott. able to properly seduce Picard, Data or Jane- MacAddict: Chewbacca. way. I mean, what good is it if you can’t use Wendy: No! Frickin! Contest! Scottie all the what cyber-engineering gave you? Palpatine, way. Esp. because he KNOWS he’s inflating on the other hand, seduced Anakin to the his estimates. And, could Chewie figure out Dark Side and managed to turn a Galactic how to keep himself alive in a pattern buffer Federation into an Empire.