Possible Additions To The Wedding Ceremony

Candle Lighting Prior to Ceremony:

______and ______want to thank you for sharing with them this special and joyous day. Those of you who have had the pleasure of spending some time with ______and ______have seen for yourselves they possess a very special love, which is full of wonder and excitement. We are here today to celebrate their love and participate in this very special occasion. Who supports ______to be married to ______? (______’s Mom and Dad/Parents/Mom/Dad: “We/I do”). To remind you the two lives we unite today were created by others, we ask your parents to come forward. (Parents arrive). ______, this candle represents you. We ask your parents to light your flame as they provided you the spark of life years ago. (parents light candle) ______, this candle represents you. We ask your parents to light your flame as they provided you the spark of life years ago (parents light candle). ______and ______, this candle represents your union from this day forward. If you are truly ready to merge your lives and your passion, we ask that you light this flame together (light candle using personal candles).

Breaking the Glass Ceremony:

The breaking of the glass at the end of a wedding ceremony serves to remind of two very important aspects of a marriage. ______and ______, and everyone, should consider these marriage vows as an irrevocable act, just as permanent and final as the breaking of this glass is unchangeable. But the breaking of the glass also is a warning of the frailty of a marriage. That sometimes a single thoughtless act, breach of trust, or infidelity can damage a marriage in ways that are very difficult to undo, just as it would be so difficult to undo the breaking of the glass. Knowing that this marriage is permanent, ______and ______will strive to show each other the love and respect befitting their spouse and love of their life. ______& ______: Break glass! (Couple presentation to follow)

Lock and Key Ceremony:

You all have just witnessed ______and ______pledge their lives, and exchange rings symbolizing the endless nature of their love. They wish to further symbolize the strength of their commitment with a Love Lock Ceremony. A lock and key can symbolize so much. For ______and ______it symbolizes the opening of their hearts to one another and the locking of the commitment that now binds them together. It’s important to understand that the key to love is the ability to comprehend not only the spoken word, but those unspoken gestures, the little things that say so much by themselves. It is giving, without thought of return, but with the hope of just a simple smile; and giving in but never giving up. The key to love is forgiveness, to accept one another’s faults and pardon their mistakes, it is sharing and facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together; conquering problems and forever searching for ways to intensify your mutual happiness. A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit your keys and keys to fit your locks. When you feel safe enough to open the locks, your truest selves step out and you can be completely and honestly who you are. No matter what goes on around you, with that one person you are safe in your mutual paradise. Your soul mate is someone who shares your deepest longings, your sense of direction. When you’re upholding one another, and moving upwards together, chances are you’ve found the right person. ______and ______, your hearts, bodies, and minds are joined together in a bond that constitutes the sanctity of marriage. This lock illustrates that you are forever joined together in a lifelong partnership and an abiding friendship, a promise between two people that you will forever be one, and that your oneness will complement and complete the two of you. This lock represents your recognition of the dedication and courage necessary for securing a strong and healthy marriage. And now as you join your separate lives into one, I invite you to lock your lock together as a symbol of your commitment to each other. As you do it, I remind you of the reason you are marrying one another: to be committed to each other as a couple forever, to keep each other safe in good times and in bad. Let this lock remind you that today you are joining your hearts and souls together for a lifetime. Remember your lock will be locked permanently because you have chosen to throw the keys to the lock into the ocean where they can never be found by anyone. This symbolizes your commitment to each other for an eternity. As these lock will be locked forever, so will your love and commitment to each other. The keys will no longer be of use because there is no need to undo the bond of your commitment made today. What your love has brought together cannot be broken, and if there is ever a time of struggle just remember this day and the promises you have made to each other.

Rose Ceremony:

In the Rose Ceremony, the Bride and Groom/spouses/partners give each other a Rose. Two roses are all that is necessary. The Rose Ceremony is placed at the end of the ceremony just before being pronounced husband and wife. It goes like this: A single red rose always means "I love you". Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings, which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other. Now for your first gift as husband and wife/life long partners/spouses I want you now to give each other the rose you hold (Exchange Roses). ______and ______, I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future, whether it be a large and elegant home, or a small and graceful one, that you both pick one very special location in your home for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion of your marriage, you both may take a rose to that special spot in your home, both as a recommitment to your marriage, and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love. And try to remember this: In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It might be difficult some time to say "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply cannot find these words to express what you really feel, go to that spot that you both have selected and there leave a rose. That rose placed in that special location can say what matters most of all. The rose you place there will say the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today. ______and ______, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, remember this, it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure. Adding a part for children: If a couple is adding the Rose Ceremony, they may have a rose for any children of the couple. After exchanging roses, the couple will then give each child a rose, a hug, and whisper, "I love you." Not only are _____ and ______creating a marriage today, but they also are forming a family with (child/children's name(s)). Just as it is appropriate for ______and ______to declare their love for each other in the gift of a rose, they also wish to show you (to the children) how much they love you with the gift of a rose.

Rose Ceremony #2:

The love you share has blossomed with time and comes to full bloom this day. In recognition of this process, _____ and ______will now perform a rose ceremony. ______(handing ______a white rose): ______, take this rose as a symbol of my love. It began as a tiny bud and blossomed, just as my love for you has grown and blossomed. ______(placing rose into a vase filled with water): I take this rose, a symbol of your love, and I place it into water, a symbol of life. For just as this rose cannot survive without water, I cannot survive without you. ______: In remembrance of this day, I will give you a white rose each year on our anniversary, as a reaffirmation of my love and the vows we will speak here today. ______: And I will refill this vase with water each year, ready to receive your gift, in reaffirmation of my love and the vows we will speak here today.

Unity Candle Ceremony:

______and ______the two-lighted candles symbolize your separate lives, your separate families and your separate set of friends. I ask that you each take one candle and that together you light the center candle. The individual candles represent your individual lives before today. Lighting the center candle represents that your two lives are now joined to one light, and represents the joining together of your two families and sets of friends to one.

Memorial Candle:

While _____ and ______'s wedding day is supposed to be a joyous occasion, there are times when the loss of a loved one may weigh heavy on their hearts. We expect everyone they love and care about to be a part of their wedding, and with the loss of ______’s ______, (name(s) and date(s) of deceased), I am sure that their absence during the wedding ceremony may be felt. It has become a very common practice during wedding ceremonies to light a memorial candle to honour those who have passed on and are unable to be with us during this wedding ceremony. With that in mind, I am going to ask ______and ______to light the memorial candle and then we are going to have a moment of silence (this can be followed by a song or reading). The candle will burn during the ceremony and will be extinguished following the signing of the documents. This brief moment of acknowledgement of _____’s ______who are no longer with us is a very important part of their wedding ceremony. Sand Blending Ceremony:

______and ______may your love always be as constant as the never ending waves, flowing endlessly from the depths of the sea. Just as the waters touch and nourish the many shores of the earth, may your love be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Just as there will never be a morning without the ocean’s flow, there will never be a day without your love for each other. You have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings. This beautiful union is symbolized through the combining of these two individual shells of sand. The first shell represents you ______, in all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other shell represents you ______, in all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without need of anything else. However when these two are blended together they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. Please pour the sand into this common container to symbolize the union of your two lives. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be a melding of two individual personalities, bonded together forming one heart, one love. The life that each of you experienced now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one. The first spouse will commence by pouring a portion of the coloured sand into the central glass vase. The second spouse will follow by pouring a portion of a different coloured sand also into the central vase creating a layered effect. To complete the ceremony, the couple will simultaneously pour the balance of their sand into the central container. To make this process a little easier, create a funnel using decorative paper. Personalize the funnel by including names, date or even poetry that holds a special meaning for the couple. (The central vase can be engraved with the couples monogram). The co-mingling of the coloured sand represent the joining of the couple. Following the wedding, the two outside vases can be used to display fresh flowers while the central vase will remain a cherished keepsake of your wedding day.

Jumping the Broom:

Jumping the Broom is a symbol of sweeping away the old and welcoming the new, or a symbol of new beginnings. Call your guests to gather around you and your new spouse. Jumping the Broom stems back to the time when slaves were prevented from marrying. They developed this ritual as a way to unite in ceremony. ______and ______are recreating this ceremony as a way to represent the joining together of their two lives and the need for support of the marriage from the entire community. Hold the broom with your spouse. This broom ceremony represents the joining of two families, it's showing respect and pays homage to those who came before you and paved the way. Therefore it should be practiced with honour for your ancestors and the beauty of your rich heritage. During the slave transitions you were not allowed to practice many of the traditional rituals of your past therefore, much of your heritage was lost during this time. However, a few were considered harmless and allowed. Today "Broom Jumping" is a ritual, handed down from generation to generation to remind us of a time when your vows were not legally sanctioned. During slavery, your ancestors sought the legitimacy of marriage by jumping over the broom and into the bonds of domesticity. For your ancestors, this small ritual was a legal and bonding act connecting them with the heritage of the home land and giving legitimacy, dignity, and strength to their unions. In there eyes this union was now sanctioned by the Almighty. It is said that broom jumping comes from an African Tribal Marriage Ritual of placing sticks on the ground representing the couple's new home together, I have also heard it said that the spray of the broom represents all of you scattered and the handle represents the Almighty who holds you together. You decide. Place the broom on the floor and hold hands with your spouse. Ask the guests to count out loud to three. Jump over the broom together.

Wine Ceremony:

The rose is the symbol of love, and the blending of the red and white wine creates a light pink rose wine, celebrating the love of the new couple. Before the wedding begins, red wine and white wine, each in a small carafe, are placed next to a larger empty carafe with one or two wineglasses on a small table near the couple. The center carafe, called the "Marriage Carafe" is usually a bit larger than the two outside "individual" carafes. The Wine ceremony usually takes place after the ring exchange. Music during the wine ceremony can add a nice touch, but is always optional. The officiant will state: “To symbolize and celebrate the blending of your two lives into one, I invite you to perform the Wine Ceremony”. The couple proceeds to the table and each takes an individual carafe and pours some wine into the larger carafe. The first spouse then takes the larger filled carafe with the combined wine and pours some in a glass for the second spouse. The second spouse then takes the larger carafe with the combined wines and pours some into a glass for the first spouse. First spouse may now toast the second spouse with, "Now our lives are one" or "To our lives together” or “To us” and drinks from the glass. The second spouse then toasts the first spouse with the same. They place the wine glasses back and turn back to the officiant, who states: "This ceremony represents your two individual lives, combined like the two wines into one single life. The drinking of the combined wine signifies the commitment you now make to live your lives as one family. May you remember this day of commitment you have sealed with drinking of the new wine joining your lives as one."

Love Letter & Wine Box Ceremony:

______and ______have chosen as a couple to perform a Love Letter & Wine Box ceremony. This box contains a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a love letter from each to the other. The letters describe the good qualities they find in one another, the reasons they fell in love, and their reasons for choosing to marry. The letters are sealed in individual envelopes and they have not seen what the other has written. You have created your very own “romantic” time capsule to be opened on your 5th (you can chose any anniversary you like) wedding anniversary. I recommend that you keep the box in a place of honour, prominently displayed in your home as a constant reminder of your commitment to each other. ______and ______should you ever find your marriage enduring insurmountable hardships, you are, as a couple, to open this box, sit and drink the wine together, then separate and read the letters you wrote to one another when you were united as a couple in marriage. By reading these love letters you will reflect upon the reasons you fell in love and chose to marry each other here today. The hope is; however, that you will never have a reason to open this box. And if this is the case, you are to open this box to share and enjoy on your 5th (or other) year wedding anniversary! ______and ______, you may now seal the box. Officiant drives the first nail, then each spouse takes a turn to nail the box shut. You can also have each member of your wedding party step up, drive in one nail to help nail the box shut if you wish.