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Res Gestae Law School History and Publications
2009 Vol. 60, No. 1, September 17, 2009 University of Michigan Law School
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STUDENT NEWSPAPER oF THE UNIVERSITYOF MICHIGAN LAwScHOOL
September 17, 2009 Vol. 60 No.1
Happy Accident or Vast Conspiracy?
• • New ILs Have Some Unex ttes By Brett DeGroff
Brendon Olson did some intrigu st.? , 8 2�09 ing thingsbefore coming to the Univer sity of MichiganLaw School thisyear. L\aAAR'{ 1heonly thingis, he can'ttell you about v..W most of them.
For the past two years Olson worked for theNational Security Agen cyevaluating information gained from intercepting wire and radio signals. For five years before that he worked in Operations.
"I can't talk much about that," Olson said. 1Ls -already hard at work! For more on Service Day, see page 4. Put Olson in a room with 370 randomly selected people and no Law School randomly. And the mem ability rights backgrounds," Zearfoss one would have a story to match the bers of this year's crop of lLs have said. "We also had more people iden stuff Olson can tell you. But of course done some pretty fascinating things. tifying themselvesas serious political Assistant Dean for Admission Sarah Among them are a political analyst conservativesthan we normally do. Zearfoss doesn't admit people to the for the Israeli embassy, a NotreDame tight end,four Peace Corps volunteers, "It's nice to get a critical mass On The Inside: and a woman who had never been in viewpoint. It changes the dialogue a ·• Letter fromEd.: 60 years?!, p. 2 a motorized vehicle until she got on a bit." a e plane seeking politicalasylum. ����oi�!��'lb. There were also a couple trends :: ����!. �!i 3 That Zearfoss assembled an in pretty obviously attributable to recent � Pride and tDLA) Piper, p. 5 • Save Yourself: Get OutNow, p. 6 teresting group of people is nothing economic difficulties, with a spike of • This is Water: Calm Down, p. 7 new. She seems to do that every year. applicationsfrom people withjournal • When YotiWere Cooler: But, she has noticed a couple inter ism and finance backgrounds. Rock BandEdition, p. 8 esting trends this time around that she doesn't see as attributable to any Seventy percent of this year's lLs • Best of LawOpen: An E&E, p. 9 • Betweenthe Briefs:Real Sex, unifying factor. took at least a year off after earning Posner-style,p. 11 their undergraduate degrees and 12 • p. 16 "We have several people withdis- Grade Curves, CONTINUED on Page 15 · eph 17, 2009 ��� ------� �=2======�=.=·=· · =-=· ====�== s===�£s=f� �==·�== ===� � mh�er===��=� A Laurel, & HeartyHandshake
�.es (lf).esta.e Hey yall, our 60 year history is merely a click �nl fill, �0- 1 �iflersitllof .,1H!{icJrigan�cJrool lllit£u away. We'll be working with thefab Goodness but we're old. And no, library staff to make the RG online Editor-in-Chief I'm not talking about the Law School archive a reality, and hope to make Alysha Rooks itself, though the RG will be featuring great strides this year. In the interim, news items from the Susquetennial you stillcan find your favorite articles Managing Editor: eventsin our upcomingissue, 60.2. No, from this year and last online, as well Greg Lavigne I'm not even talking about theage, wis as become a fan of theRG on Facebook Executive Editor: dom, and questionablesagacity of the and follow us on Twitter. We feel Dave Heal 3L class (holla!). Nope, folks, thistime dreadfully unpopular right now, and it's theRes Gestaeitself, the august (and we'recounting on all of you to embrace Photo Editor: therest of the year) publication I have your inner nerd enoughto changethat. Matt Weiser thejoy of heading during this, its Dia (Ourmoms said we were a catch, but Web Editor: mond Anniversary. Yep, you read that now we don't know who to believe.) Tomek Koszylko correctly - sixty years of all the news that beat thepublication deadline. Another way you can help the Layout Editor: RG and other student orgs, 3Ls, is to GautamHans 1heRG has changeda lot over the support the Nannes challenge during decades, and, even as the woes of print theupcoming month. Yes, we realize Contributing Editors: media are repeatedly (and with ques that the legal employment market Patrick Barry, Sarah Alex Bennett, Brett tionableirony) rehashedad nauseum in currently bears a distinct resemblance DeGroff, Carla Lee, Erin Opperman, blogs, we've opted to celebrate MLaw's to Pompeii, what with the continual Ryan Particka, Tori Roth, Meredith Weill enduring and arguably beloved stu rain of crap as reported by Above 1he dent newspaper over thecourse of this Law freezing people's job prospectsin Res Gestae ispublished biweeklyduring the school entire year - call it a reflection of our positions of abject horror. year by studentsof1he Universityof MichiganLaw School. Opinions expressed in bylined articles continued evolution, bothas a student are 1hose of 1he au1hors and do not necessarily body and a student paper. We also have no shame. represent1he opinions of1he editorial staff.Articles withcontact informationin italicsat the end of1he Looking back by looking forward, As such, the RG is humbly re article or "submittedby" in 1hebyline are opinion pieces, not fa ctual news stories, and theopinions one example of history makingits pres questing that,if you do decideto do contained thereinare not necessarilyrtiflective of ence felt in theRG is the return of the nate(and you should!), pleaseearmark the opinions of the editorialst qff Articles may Question on the Quad, a wholly de at least a mere $5 of your donation to bereprinted wi1hout permission, provided 1hat1he lightfulexercise combining statistically your school paper. It's not a lot - over au1hor and Res Gestaeare credited and notified. Res Gestae welcomes submissions and letters to flawed survey methods, USA Today thecourse of threeyears, you canthink the editor. Submissions may be made via email, stylegraphics, and Onion-esquereport of it as 14 cents an issue, or less than a preferably as an MS Word attachment. Letters ing; our first tryhas already, thanks to dollar a grade curve, if you're one of to 1he editor must be clearly and unambiguosly the rabid LawOpen readership and our more periodic readers - but if all marked"Letter to 1heEditor." ResGestae reserves 1he right to edit all submissions andletters to 1he some very good sports down in the 200 participants did it, that'd be $2000 editor in 1heinterest of space. snackbar,been a startlingsuccess. (It's dollars (we think, we're not great at on p.l2, ifyou're interested.) We hope math) guaranteed to be reinvested 2009 Publication Schedule: thisis only one small way in whichthe in keeping folks' time at MLaw filled Issue 1: 9/17 Issue 4: 10/27 RG cancontinue to striveto be bothfun with awesome. Just think about it, Issue 2: 9/29 IssueS: 11/10 Issue 3: 10/13 Issue 6: 11/24 and relevant to you, our readership, by alright? I'll be reminding you later in not forgetting where we come from. theissue, regardless.
Mailing address: Res Gestae Looking forward by looking back, With that small, but heartfelt plea University ofMichigan Law School and all denigrations of e-media aside, in mind, welcome back, UMichigan 625 South State Street our website - theresgestae.com - had ders - old, ne""'and thosewho soundly AnnArbor, MI 48109 a great launch last year, thanks in no reject binary classification systems.
Office: 116 Legal Research small part to y all's stunning commit We're happy to have (and serve) you. Email: [email protected] ment to the Grade Curves.(1heyre on p.l6, since I know you're interested.) [heart], What you may not know is that we at Rooks theresgestae.com theRG have a dream, a dreamwherein Your Friendly Neighborhood EIC �s ®£sta£ ------�11 • �£pi:emh£r 17, 2009' �� 3 II Letter to the Editor: Hot for Tutors Dear Editor, Student Affairs has valid con to find people well suited to the cerns that prompted this change. task at hand. Last year FYI leaders Like many upperclassmen, I The largest is that those that they were surprised, and many not too was surprised to return this year believe need tutoring most are not pleased, to find themselves thrust to find that one of the best peer-to able to receive the individualized unexpectedly into the position of peer support services available to attention they need because of the teaching class preparation. Without 1 Ls has been so radically retooled number of students requesting tu even informing them, tutors were as to make it almost useless. Like tors. Rather than considering any spread evenly among the groups to the majority of lLs, last fall I took type of prioritization system, how aid Student Affairs in this flawed advantage of the tutoring service ever, the administration jumped method of getting academic aid to that has, for years, provided lLs straight to a hard GPA cap. This students. But even if this were not with a proactive way to quell their will attach a stigma to the program the case, the small number of FYI anxiety over classes, manage course that will be unacceptable to many leaders doing a few programs on loads, and keep study groups on that Dean Gregory is trying to help. a volunteer basis cannot match the track. Additionally, I got to meet People will be afraid to be associ helpfulness that tutors consistently and become friends with 2Ls and ated with a program that necessar provide in small group settings. 3Ls I probably never would have ily means that they have a below encountered otherwise. median GPA. This will also harm the quality of the tutors. Under the current The restructuring of the tutor Putting this restriction in place policy, only 40-50 1 Ls, summer start ing program actually began last completely undermines the idea ers, are eligible for tutoring, and fall. Dean Gregory implemented that Michigan is a collegial envi they are only taking three subjects. a policy that prevented requesting ronment that deemphasizes GPA. This means many tutors will only be a tutor until several weeks into This policy stresses GPA in a very able to begin in the winter semester, the term. This was a departure unhealthy way. Shouldn't the goal which will mean for many of them from years past when tutoring was of the Law School, and tutoring that a full year has passed since they available at the beginning of each as a program they implement, be dealt with the material and they will term. This term, with little fanfare, mastery of the material rather than have less experience tutoring. Student Affairs posted the next a high GPA? Putting a premium phase of the restructuring on their on past performance in unrelated The administration perceives a website. The new policy states that courses reveals a mindset that GPA shortage of resources in tutors and "services are limited to students is all that matters and that grasping this is their solution. They are truly with a cumulative grade point av the material is simply a means to throwing the baby out with the bath erage below 3.2 ... [,]students may that end. Further, it can be helpful water. This is only one troubling as not request a tutor until they have for students who are struggling to pect, however, of what appears to be completed one semester of study ... have students who have no trouble a flawed process of developing and [, and] students may request tutor grasping the material in their tutor modifying policies. It seems that a ing for a maximum of two courses ing groups, something the policy small number of administrators will in any one semester." explicitly forbids. perceive a problem, discuss it only amongst themselves, and imple I think most students who have It has become clear that it is the ment broad changes without notice utilized tutoring would agree that view of Student Affairs that tutor or public discussion. This leads to tutoring is most useful during your ing should be used as a remedial problems that cannot be foreseen first semester of lL. This is when measure and that the FYI program when there is absolutely no vetting anxiety about the unknown is at its is the way that students should get process. It will only be when the highest, and tutors are the best re initial help coping with classes. But administration becomes more open source lLs could have to battle back this is flawed in a couple of ways. and invites collaboration that we the stress that follows. Moreover, The first is that Student Affairs will get sound policies that move removing the program in such an damns the process from the begin the school forward. abrupt manner is unfair to those ning by recruiting students for FYI who were looking forward to hav as though it is what it used to be, Sincerely, ing this resource available to them an extended orientation program. Matthew Talley after being told about the program If you're not clear and honest in 2L by current students. your recruiting, you're not going � �s ®:esta:e • II 4 ��phmln�r 17, 2009 lt-1------lLS Start TheirPublic Interest Careers Early! By Hermine Wong work of Section F, the exhibit would not afford a college prep workshop. have languished in a basement. In During their "down time" the sec Each year our incoming 1 L and stead, before the group left they had tion also worked to weed the school's LLM classes participate in a law painted and drilled large pieces of the outdoor areas. FAIT member, Kellie school-sponsored Service Day as exhibit onto the walls of the center McEvoy, developed the program for part of the orientation program. At and jumpstarted a project that may theday. Professor Nicole Appleberry its best, some students have fun for a never have happened otherwise.Staff led the group with FAIT volunteers: couple of hours. More often than not, member n Arevalo led thegroup with Kellie McEvoy, Brittlynn Hall, and though,memories of previous Service APALSA volunteers Grace Wang and Pat Mobley. Days elicit eyerolls and a few cheap Travis Rimando. shots. ("Oh yeah ... Service Day ... GLEANERS CoMMUNITYF ooD BANK oF that's where the school puts you on DAWN FARM: Section M and LLM SoUTHEASTERNM.rancAN: a bus with 80 people, gets you lost in Section A worked alongside residents Sections K and L had been sched Detroit, tells you to tear down a house of this long-term residential care fa uled to work at one of the nation's first of asbestos, and the only equipment cility for individuals with substance food banks: Gleaners. But at 8 o'clock they give you is a box of latex gloves. abuse problems. The group helped the law school received a call that the Then after a couple of hours of stand garden, harvest, and maintain the food bank had to be closed for an emer ing around and getting stung by bees farm. Dean ChristineGregory led the gency. Sections K and L graciously you come back and pretend like you group with 2L volunteer Stephanie waited until the school worked out did somethingmean ingful and some Herschaft. alternate arrangements with the pre how bonded with all 79 other people, existing sites, and then they joined the right?") DETROIT CoMMUNITY lNrrrATIVE: Sec work of some of our other sections at tion I traveled to Detroit. They the Bryant Community Center and the Well, this year, Service Day got a worked to clean up a Detroit neigh Cedar Bend Nature Area. Dean David makeover. More sites, morespeakers, borhood and paint over graffiti with Baum and 2L student volunteer Ehsan more faculty and staff leaders, and a the Detroit Community Initiative. In Sanaie helped make the unexpected new twist: student org sponsorships! fact, they worked so hard they didn't transition runas smoothlyas possible. Without the contributions of the stu even have time to take pictures! Staff dent organizations this year, it would member Kathie Wilder led thegroup HURoNRivER C LEANUP: Section E and have been impossible to reachout to so with2L volunteer Daniel Korenstein. LLM Section B cleaned up an area of many differentprograms. Read about Detroit Deputy Mayor and Faculty theHuron River in Ypsilanti. This part all the different ways our incoming Fellow Saul Green visited the group of the river is popular with fishermen class contributed to our communities and led a lunch-time talk. and located across the street from a this year! Ford plant. Using waders, canoes, D-ToWN GARDENS: Section J gar and their hands, the students cleaned BRYANT CoMMUNITY CENTER: Section dened, harvested, and built scare up the riverbanks and fished out a ton N and LLM Section C painted the crows at the Detroit Black Commu of baffling items including a safe, a main room of a communitycenter that nity Food Security Network's D-Town cash register, and a bicycle. Professor provides recreational,educational, so Gardens. D-Town is a 2-acre model Andy Buchsbaum led the group with cial, and cultural enrichmentprograms urban farm in Northwestern Detroit ELS volunteers Bobby Mauger and to Ann Arbor residents, regardless of that provides produce to a commu Nate Gambill. Ann Arbor Township income level. Professor Kim Thomas nity where access to fresh produce is Supervisor Mike Moran visited the led the group with Wolverine Street scarce. It also sells its surplus produce group and led a lunchtime talk. Law student volunteers Te resa Lin, at local farmers' markets to subsidize Michael Adler, Stephen Rooke, and its work. Professor Nick Rine led the CEDAR BEND NA1URE AREA: Section Elizabeth Bell. group with BLSA volunteers Ashley G and LLM Section D stayed close to Washington and Quentin Smith. home. Cedar Bend Nature Area is a CHINESECoMMUNITY CENTER: Section Faculty fellow and Assistant U.S. At 19.5-acrepark, one of AnnArbor's old F traveled to the CCC in Madison torney Judith Levy visited the group est city parks, and bounded by North Heights to recreate the highly suc and led a lunch-time talk. Campus. At Cedar Bend, thesections cessful "Chinatown Exhibit'' thathad learnedto identify invading plantsand finished its runat the Detroit Historic SAT I ACT /COLLEGE WRITINGWORK then weed or hack them out as appro Museum. Without the supplies do SHOP: Section P went to YpsilantiHigh priate. Staff member AI Lagrone led nated by the law school and the hard School to tutor students who could CONTINUED on Page 14 �s For By Ryan Particka A lot of what Jake did on tour of all OJ competitions. Past final was pretty typical for a business ists at the DMC include the Beastie For those of you new to the like his: burning the COs, checking Boys' DJ, Kanye West's DJ, Beck's column, When You Were Cooler is on the robotics of their system, do OJ, and Madonna's OJ. a window into the way the cool kids ing quality control, and even some lived. Note that I said lived - here legal stuff, such as making sure that Even having gained quite the at WYWC we focus exclusively on contracts were signed by the right reputation from competing, he what your classmates did prior to people. The best part of his time may be more famous for being a losing their coolness by coming on tour was when he "got a chance member of the Tr ansplants, a punk here. To start the year off right, to line check David Lovering's superband consisting of Travis we have a double feature, paying (from the Pixies) drumset in front Barker from Blink 182 on drummer tribute to what was hopefully a of 50,000+ at the Reading Festival and Tim Armstrongfrom Rancid on summer full of live music (or at least near London." In his words, "I sort vocals I guitar. Travis was on their Pandora), eargasms, and crowd of played drums in front of 50,000 album and on stage in 2005 when surfing. Saying that, I'm fully aware people (though no one could really they were a headliner on Warped that very few of you have crowd hear me)." Tour. surfed. But I digress. There is some residual cool When asked why he OJ' d, Jake Walker ness to all of this though, as Jake Travis referred me to an article by has been invited to hang out with Professor Mark Katz in which he If you have ever been at a the Pixies and see them perform was quoted, saying "it was a way concert and thought to yourself this November, when the band for a 'shy, videogame-playing guy afterward, "Gee self, I really wish will again be touring in the United to kinda be at a party without being I could take home a copy of what States. As Jake said, when asked a wallflower. You were there, kinda I just heard," it must have been a why he decided to come to law commanding it."' Travis has even show that Jake Walker (3L) was not school, it "turns out thatyou can't spent some time in academia, co at. Shortly after undergrad, Jake make money in themusic business." founding a OJ academy and lectur and one of his classmates started a That may be true, but I wouldn't ing at Berkeley and UCLA. company and created technology argue with the perks. that allowed them to produce 1,000 A legal education may be more COs in 15 minutes. If that is not Travis Rimando practical for a OJ than most of us remarkable enough, they then took would realize, as Travis had an their business venture on the road While Jake Walker was hobnob interesting experience shortly after in a 26-foot trailer and sold copies bing with rockstars, Tr avis Rimando the DMC OJ Championship when of just-finished shows to satisfied (2L) was busy becoming one. Tra Disney offered him the chance to be concertgoers. vis, known to some as OJ Pone, the OJ on a Disney Channel show. began DJing during high school. He They faxed him a 15-page contract It turns out that all sorts of art was largely self-taught, practicing and gave him less than 24 hours ists liked the idea and contacted Jake as often as 6-10 hours a day by the to make a decision. Even prior to about going on tour with them. He time he was competing. coming to law school, he knew that "worked with the Pixies, Billy Idol, the terms were unlikely to be as Kenny Loggins, Dead Can Dance, Tr avis would classify himself favorable to him as they could be The Doors (of the 21st Century; primarily a turntablist/battle OJ. and Disney did not want to change you know - minus Morrison), and That is, instead of simply playing any of them - he likes to call that the Christian rock band The Newsboys, pre-recorded music, he manipulates "Day Mickey Tried to Pimp [Him]." among others." He toured with the it. He treats "the turntable as a mu He ultimately settled on law school Pixies for most of 2004 and 2005, sical instrument," imagining that he because it was a way to use most both with the original company and "would've taken to a 'real' musical of his skills and "somewhat stay then with a second company thathe instrument if ... exposed to one and involved in the entertainment busi also started. His stint with the Pix encouraged to learn as a kid." At ness or creative arts." ies "went all over Canada, America, the height of his competition career Europe and Japan." he was a US finalist in the DMC OJ Championship- the OJ competition CONTINUED on Page 9 �s (!ii.esta£ ------111 • J&£piemh£:r 17, 200fT Best of LawOpen: TheRules of Engagement: LawOpen Edition By .Jesse Taylor a dog.) my back right now. Those other peo The third rule is that you should ple are also attractiveand charismatic. LawOpen is a strange and awk be careful with the "Reply All" but ward beast, like walking into a shop ton. By "careful," I mean, "not using Fundamentally, LawOpen is a ping mall where one of the stores sells it." The additional benefit to this is place where manythings happen. We something that's really, incredibly that I don't have to sit at Dominick's sell football tickets. We buy football sexist. Itis, however, our strangeand and hear someone at a nearby table tickets. We realizewe forgot we have awkward beast, and so we must tend grouse about how boring LawOpen a wedding on theweekend where we to it lovingly and withcare, lest it turn is, and then hold up your e-mail on bought the football tickets, and try to on us in our sleep. their iPhone and say, "See?" re-sell the tickets, and then have the person who sold us the football tick There are a few basic rules that The fourth rule is don't be that ets ask us why we're trying to re-sell everyone should understand about guy, because really? Really?! You them,and thenwe tell themwhy, and LawOpen. Unfortunately, everyone have to interrupt this $28 pitcher of then we are friends. Every so often, doesn't. Well, everyone, timeto go to sangria that I'm trying to pretend is we sell study guides, too. And some church. The first ruleis that you don't affecting me to say that? times... sometimes, magic strikes. talk about LawOpen. At least with Above theLaw. We're a family here, The fifthrule is to condense, con And let's have some more magic. albeit one where every single person dense, and please, for the love of God, LawOpen isn't just a forum to get is stressed, and the topic of 90% of condense. Ifyou make a typo, and it rid of your humidifier. Why not talk our conversations is ourselves. Or needs to be corrected, use one more about why the most popu1ar books in wait, no, that just makes us a family. e-mail to correct it. It's not so much America seem to bewritten for teenag Keep our drama our drama, because that your eventual self-flagellationfor ers? Let's discuss why the Food Net not only does that make all the drama your profligateLawOpening won't be work no longer teaches people how a lot more fun, but it also means po entertaining... but we get it. And we to cook but instead breeds soulless tential employers won't be reading still love you. shilling machines. I've seen enough about the names you called someone laptop screens to know how many because they disagree with your take The fifthrule is that LawOpen is a people read The Superficial, yet not on Rick's. marketplace, by and large. Take note a single line about how much Dane of the prices. Use a basic economic Cook sucks? Because he's terrible. I The correct take, incidentally, is theory called "copying and pasting" mean, awful. Did you see Mr.Brooks? "cesspool of memories." That is the if need be to determine what to price Neither did anybody else. Sorry, only credited response. your item at. I say this only because Kevin Costnerand Demi Moore, your I feel terrible for the person selling an careers wou1d have been salvaged but The second rule of LawOpen is to E&E for $25 surrounded by people for that spastic mumblehouse. keep it entertaining. And that means selling thesame book for$10, offering entertaining for the entirereadership, Lawyers Club delivery and rubbing Discuss. not justyour one friend who you want to talk about that one thing that one timewith. Put a little bit of extra work Wait, I Can't Bring My into your e-mail. Take five minutes out of your day to find a relevant YouTu be clip or hell, just steal a Family Drum Kit to Civ Pro? Guy joke. It's not like any of us have actually seen a new episode in three CONTINUED from Page 8 In that vein, if you happen years. (For those of you wondering to know of someone who used to what's happened, it's usually hijinks Currently, Travis is trying to do be cool, feel free to pass along an interspersed with random references what he can to stay connected to his anonymous suggestion. I'm espe to things that are only entertaining to music, which includes booking a cially looking for 1Ls, and unless people born between 1972 and 1988, couple of house parties for the com I get tips, I have no one to write coupled withrandom intimationsthat ing semester. Keep your eyes and about. As always, feel free to send Stewie is gay. It's still not clear how ears open because you never know comments and suggestions to rg@ well people understand that Brian is who might be behind the turntables. umich.edu. = = -- - '' 10 ====�=· =· · · · · =· ==�== s® = £=sf=�= ==· ==�e= �=� ==er=17=,2 =00=9���� ------ServiceDay! �£5 �£sta.e ------ill • �:eptemh:er 17, 2009 We've been a pacesetting firm for more than 90 years running. Heidi Dare, Associate Attorney John Haugen, Associate Attorney Robert Summers, Associate Attorney What gives us the stamina to maintain our practice as a leading, pacesetting firm in intellectual property? Our attorneys. Varied in interests, diverse in backgrounds, Brinks' 180 attorneys and scientific advisors are a true team. The camaraderie is apparent, the informality real, and the peer support remarkable. Come, be yourself - and be your best - at a premier intellectual property law firm with big-name clients and exciting challenges. You'll find our shareholders' doors wide open and values such as balance and inclusiveness demonstrated at all times. Visit us at www.brinkshofer.com Being ourselves. That's our practice. BRINKS H 0 FER GILSON &LIONE ____@ Intellectual Property Law Worldwide �s &;.esfae 11-1------1112 � • ��jilimh:�r 17, 2009 QuestiOfl on the Quad: It's Back! It comes every year on LawOpen - someone's decided to take Administrative Law, and they want to know which prof is better. Wo uld you rather: A. Take Adril.in with Croley • B. Take Admin with Payton C. Be poked inthe eyewith a red hot poker twice a � for a semester D. Wait, people take Admin? On purpose? A. 24% B. lO% C. 35% Hermine Wong, 3L Nic Markman, 2L Professor Croley's (Option D - Research Assistant • People take A : A • (Option A-Croley) admin?) "I took it with Professor "Will it help me get a job?" Croley and I tell people to take it with him all the time. I loved it." Kevin Weber, lL Mandy Castle, 3L (Option D - People take "From the rumors admin?) • on the quad, there's A : "The only classes I know A . no good answer to anythingabout are thesix that question." courses we're required to take." Letter to an Erstwhile Valedictorian week. If you have to write it into concentration. And, if you are like CONTINUED from Page 7 your iCal in order to get it done, me, some days you won't be able to can be dull and all-consuming, but do it. do it. But on most days, if you're everybody here used to have inter conscious enough to give yourself ests and even passions that didn't And finally, and most impor a choice, you can choose to look involve Aspen Publishing. Keep tantly: differently at the guy or girl in your doing them or your soul will die a section that everybody dismissed as thousand deaths. 3. Give your classmates a break. a gunner on the first day. Some of Most people are kind of scared and those people may be assholes, but 2. Having more or less failed intimidated and self-conscious many of them are good and well at doing this during my lL year I about seeming smart. If on a daily meaning. Empathy isn't a skill that know it's difficult,but try to keep basis you can try and be self-aware is taught here, but if you can at least reading stuff for pleasure. Whether enough to acknowledge your own attempt to give people the benefitof it's fiction or non-fiction or the Su similar feelings, it'll be easier to the doubt,I've discovered they often perficialist,it will be good for both cut the kid in the front row some surprise you. your writing and your mental health slack for being a bit overeager and to think about other things for some obnoxious. This will probably take 1 Ls,I wish you [way more than] non-trivial amount of time every a substantial amount of effort and luck! �Res®cstae ------lll • �epumher 17, 2009 Betweenthe Brief s: 563 F. 3d. 1334 Posner Says Patent Law, I Hear Real Sex By Rooks reasons: 1) repeated use of the term typical (dare I say trademark?) Posner "hand blown," which is a colossally isms we've all come to know and ... Law schoolis tryingto killmy love above par and fantastically apt double something. Some soon-to-be classics for HBO On Demand. I'm sure of it. I entendre, given the subject matter of include: can't see Six Feet Under without con thesegment and the natureof theshow, templating trustsand estates, Cathouse and 2) I was, at the time, very freaked "A more perspicuous term is "sexual without thinking about feminist juris out but the thoughtthat the dildo could devices," by analogy to "medical devices. " prudence, Deadwood without hiding somehow break during over-vigorous Theanalogy lies in the fact that, likemany from the FCC, True Blood without the use. (It can't, but nothing sticks with medical devices (thermometers for exam 14thamen dment, or Carnivale without you quite like potential glass shar ds.) ple), what we are calling sexual devices are contemplating the religious, historical, intended to be inserted into bodily orifices, and yet strangely post-apocalyptic Ok, ok, I can't blame law school albeit for a different purpose. " mysticism of we, we happy few, we for ruining everything. In fact, it's band of schmoes whowilling decided only enriched my love of what I've or to put ourselves throughlaw school in taken to calling sex toy jurisprudence, thehope for something,anyth ing better. as y' all have, by this point, certainly "By "lubricious " -a word whose noticed. (There's still more out there primary meaning, appropriatefor a sexual And now, Real Sex. than you might think.) But therein device, is "lecherous" -the patent means lies the problem - this summer, my only "slippery, " which is the secondary More than any other late night past and present supercollided into meaning of the word. " HBO programming, and way before something way heavier than Element it became known as The Channel for 112 (zinc and lead officially had a baby or even quality uncensored television shows, thiss ummer, it' s newly registeredat the Real Sex was foundational to my, Periodic Table), like a fever dream writ "Nevertheless, though the plaintiffs' and many of my friends, evolution ten and directed by Richard Posner. invention is useful (setting aside any as sexual beings. It was one of the (His book Sex and Reason is betimes qualms that one might have about sexual first places where many people saw more than nightmarish enough for devices in general), it isnot patentable if it alternative expressions of sexuality y' all to hopefully get how thatcould would have been "obvious, " not of course to represented as valid and, well, Real. be problematic.) the average person but to a person having Itwas where many of us learned how the relevant technical skills. " other people have sex,whether or not Here's how it went - a good friend that subsequently informed how we came across a case on ATL (Above the You can probably tell, then, that had sex. Itwas late night, semi-covert Law,for the lLs-seeBest of Law Open, the actual case turned on the question consciousness-raising for millions of p. 9 for more on them) that she though of obviousness. Glass sex toys were teens and adults who, though poten I'd be interested in checking out. "It's once primarily made out of standard tially alone in their living rooms, were about sex toys!" she said. It doesn't soda-lime glass. Know Mind' s toys beginningto realize that theymight not really take much else to get me to click are made from borosilicate glass, aka be alone in the world. on a link. Pyrex, which, beyond the obvious benefit of being more slippery, is also And it was where I saw my first Oh, it was about sex toys alright. resistant to "heat, chemicals, electricity glass dildo. and bacterial absorptions," and they Turns out, the very company I'd patented them as such. Unfortunately, HBO seems to have seen featured on HBO's Real Sex seg decided to scrub its website of this ment on glass dildos so many moons Posner missed a couple of glass low-gloss televised sexual "magazine," ago, Know Mind Enterprises, had dildo highlights though, probably in despite the fact that they still regularly been, for years, embroiled in a patent the interest of efficiency. They're also air the show, so I can't tell you which infringement suit with another com dishwasher safe and can be frozen or episode, or even which season, but pany, Topco. Though the opinion's heated, just like your Pyrex cookware, it doesn't matter. I clearly remember a mere six pages long, it provides if you're the sort of person who likes seeing this particular episode for two ample opportunity for many of the CONTINUED on Page 15 · ------''�==14======�=· =· ·=··=· · =· ·= ===�====s ®=£= s=t=£a==·======�qd==£mh===£r=1=7,==2=00=9���� Service Day: New Students, Into the Wild CONTINUED from Page 4 sor Bridgette Carrled the group with to make new friends and contribute to the group with ELS volunteer Sarah WLSA member Mandy Castle. the local community... two birds with Bullard. ProfessorNeil Kagan visited one stone! Service Day definitely says the group and led a lunchtime talk. And did these changes make a dif- something about Michigan Law and ference? Here are what people are what it values in its student commu MICHIGANSEA GRANT: Section H spent saying now... nity, and I'm glad I could be a part of the firsthal£ of its day on a presentation that." Jennifer Hou, Section G. on marine debris and a guided canoe "I was cleaning invasive species in a trip to explore the coastal area with beautifulforest reserve, and by theend "I thought this year's service day Michigan Sea Grant researchers. The of the day, I felt like I had known the went off without a hitch in part be second half of their day was spent in sub-group of people that I was hack cause of the2 dynamic student coordi waders, cleaningup thebeach of what ing and pulling trees with forever!" nators who have definitely raised the seemed to be an endless accumulation Angbeen Mirza, LLM Section D. standard for Michigan Law's Service of plastic. Staffmembers Liz Seger and Day! My team of students certainly John Masson led the group with ELS "I thinkthe best part of Service Day thought outside the box and really volunteer Wayland Radin. this year was that it felt connected to helped to shape an exhibit from the the law school. It can be difficult to ground up. I can't think of any one SAFEHOUSEC ENrER: Section 0 went to understand the purpose of going to moment when we weren't laughing or this domestic violence and sexual as an arbitrary location and doing public thinking about thebest way to accom sault center to assemble back-to-school service when you do not have a larger plish out goal. Everyone played an supplies, disinfect the children's area, context in which to place that service. important part, from providing moral and weed. They ended up re-landscap Using existing groups to create the support after completing a their tasks ing much of the grounds! One of the sites providedthat context." Michael to adding a humorous tone, it was a staffmembers pointedout a dangerous Adle� Wolverine StreetLaw volunteer. complete group effort through and area of the property that unwelcome through." Juan J. Arevalo, Graduate people occasionally used to hide out. "AlthoughI hate having to wake up Admissions Coordinator. One of the students was a former so early (not a morningperson at all), it landscaper! What thestaff neverknew was definitelyworth it. I'm glad Michi Thanks to all the student, staff, and was thattheir problem could be solved gan makes Service Day mandatory faculty volunteers. And to all the 1Ls with some inventive landscaping and (all law schools should), and I think and LLMs: Welcome to Michigan, and really hard work Section 0 definitely everyone got a lot out of it. Service thanks for being a part of our commit made theirmark at SafeHouse. Profes- Day provides the perfect opportunity ment to service! Don't Forget: There's Life Outside Law School new novel Tricks, the stories of five CONTINUED from Page 6 Information Than You Require, at teens involved in prostitution for five Borders, 612 E. Liberty. Burns Park at the corner of We lls very different reasons, at Borders, and Baldwin. Call 973-2136 for more 3140 Lohr Road. Musical Events information. Thursday, October 22, 7 p.m., Friday, October 9, 12:30 p.m., Literary Events 2007 Nobel Peace Prize co-winner Howie Day will perform live Henry Pollack discusses his book A at Borders, 612 E. Liberty. He is Tuesday, September 22, 6 p.m., World Without Ice, a book about ice scheduled to meet with fans after the Michigan author Jon Scieszka as a force of nature and the potential performance. launches his new children's book consequences of a world without ice, Robot Zot!, thetale of a quixotic robot at Borders, 612 E. Liberty. Wednesday, October 28, 12:30 who wants to conquer the earth, at p.m., Ingrid Michaelsonwill perform Borders, 3140 Lohr Road. Tuesday, November 11, 7 p.m., from her new release, Everybody, New York Times bestseller, The Daily live at Borders, 612 E. Liberty. Wednesday, September 30, 7 Show's resident expert, and the PC p.m., New York Times bestselling in the Apple ads John Hodgman Go enjoy yourselves while you author Ellen Hopkins presents her introduces his new book, More still can. Winter is coming. �s @£sta.e ------111 • �£phmh£r 17, zuug �� lsll lLs: ThisTi me, With Pirates! Posner, Lube, CONTINUED from Page 1 Ranger working in Wyoming and Ari zona. He talked withhikers about low percent earned an advanced degree. impact camping and measured man's and Dildos Among that group is Jim Hunt, who effect on fragile ecosystems such as CONTINUED from Page 13 earned a Ph.D. in experimental par alpine meadows and lakes. to experiment with temperature (ice ticle physics from Cornell. His work cubes, that warming gel, etc.) in your Meanwhile, Nick Hurst served on included research with a particle ac sex life. You can also use any sorts celerator smashing together beams of an engine crew in California helping of lube with a glass dildo, free from fight forest fires. One of the first fires electronsand measuringwhat happens concerns of degrading the material. afterward. And what happens after Hurst responded to was being fueled However, I wouldn't recommend just ward is freaky. by Pacific Ocean-driven winds down throwing your glass sex toys into the a slope and toward a group of homes. wash ifyou have a roomie - though it's If you smash together two base not thatit's a somehowunsafe practice, "It was what you picture in a balls you mightexpect to findpieces of the decisionnot to hand wash could po two baseballs. Oryou might find two movie," Hurst said. tentially lead some awfully awkward complete baseballs. But if you smash conversations ...especially ifyou live are The group also comes from 144 together two electrons you likely in Phid House. to find six complete electrons. undergraduate institutions, 14 coun tries and ranges in ages from21 to 63. What the court did make abun What? Three percent are non-citizens. Eleven dantly clear was that, since borosilicate percent have two parents with no de glass has been in use for over a century, "It's like the atomic bomb in re gree beyond high school. Their GPA and glass dildos have been around for verse," Hunt explained. "You know;. and LSAT statistics are essentially un some time as well, simply coming up E=mc2?" changed fromlast year's, which were with the idea to make a glass sex toy an all-time high. out of a different, pre-existing, better An atomic bomb converts mass adapted to the knocking of boots kind into destructive energy in accordance But all of those distinctionspale in of glass isa common-sensical substitu comparison to the 1L who identified with Einstein's theory of relatively. tion. Since Know Mind didn't seem to Hunt's experiments observed energy himselfas a ''Booty Master." He turned appreciably alter the amount of "oxide out to be the treasurer of a pirate being converted into mass ... freak of boron" in their products from that ishly. themed a cappella group. Strangely commonly available to thepublic, their enough, he wasn't the only pirate a patent on borosilicate glass dildos just This year's class also hails from cappella singer Zearfoss admitted. doesn't make thegrade. 38 states, Wa shington D.C., Guam, Sadly,the other bilge rat didn't end up Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. coming here. Like I said, it's a super short opin That geographically diverse group ion, so I recommend taking a gander if included two people working for the "We could have cornered the you're interested, but some part of me Forest Service, in two different states, market on pirate a cappella singers," yet mournsthat instead of being about doing two completely different things. Zearfoss lamented. sexual discovery, Real Sex is now going to forever be linked in my head with Maybe next year. Sam Brown was a Wilderness patent claims (and likeness rights - re member those streetinterviews?). Sure, there'reupsides -maybe next year SFF can even offer a screening of Real Sex WE WANT YO U segments relevant to his jurisprudence and scholastic endeavors with Judge 1:0 Posner himself -but one thing I know JOIN THE RES GESTAE for sure ...it just won't be the same. Got questions or suggestions fo r the RG's WRITERS • EDITbRS • PHOTOGRAPHERS • ARTISTS award-winning sex columnist? Email her at betweenthebriejs @gmail.com or pendaf EMAIL [email protected] lex them in the dead of night - don't worry, she won't judge. == s=�£sta£ · �=£=¢=£mh£=r=1=7=,=20=0=9 ���------�� � 16======�==�=·=· ··=· =· ·====�======� 1hey're Just Grades: Curves andAll We at theRG are essentiallyconvinced musings, so feel freeto skip to theapplicable no matter how much we wish it would. you don't read this, and just skip straight section if you, you know, hate funny. (Ok, Giminy Cricket is going to need way more down to The Curves without payingus any ok, if you hate marginally amusing. We stars.) So while you're being a wholly neverntind. Well guess what folks - the have no delusions of grandeur.) consensual audience, Ym going to call your curve is still 3.14, the drop/add period is attention to the RG' s five - five dollar - five over, and you already have your grades, 3Ls: You reallynave no excuse. You're dollar funding campaign for Nannes this so hang withus for a sec. We promise The almost outta here - in fact, a full fourth year. Please earmark a small sum ($5, or, Curves willstill be therewhen we're done. of you will never even select law school you know, more, but we're not greedy) to classes again. If you have a job, you're the completely-free-to-you school paper; We've decided this go 'round to be a a lucky so-and-so. If you don't, nothing it's the gift that keeps on giving. And bit more year specific in our grade curve in The Curves is going to change that, CONTINUED on Page 19 Grade Summary - Part 1 Winter 2009 Number receiving each grade Course/ 4.3 4.0 3.7 3.3 3.0 2.7 2.3 2.0 1.7 1.3 1.0 0.0 Class Section Professor Course Name M A � M B � G C G � D E p s Size 510/001 Cooper,Edward H Civil Procedure 14 20 22 11 2 87 5!0/002 Chon,Margaret Civil Procedure 13 26 22 9 2 88 520/001,002 Radin,Margaret Jane Contracts 19 26 58 40 19 4 2 178 530/00 1 Moran,David A Criminal Law 6 15 26 22 2 90 530/002 Primus,Eve Brcnsike Criminal Law 13 12 25 25 10 2 91 530/003 West,Mark D Criminal Law 6 22 27 24 91 540/001 Halberstam,Daniel H Intra to Constitutional Law 13 14 28 21 92 560/00 1 Schneider,Carl E Property 2 10 12 25 25 4 88 580/00 1 Clark,Sherman J Torts 6 12 29 27 11 91 6011001 Payton ,Sallyanne Administrative Law 2 16 29 604/001 Cemak,Steven J Advanced Antitrust 2 1 10 606/001 Hakimi,Monica Transnational Law 41 70 606/002 Rcimann,Mathias W Transnational Law 16 20 10 59 120 608/001 l.eary,Margaret A Advanced Legal Research 13 20 8 41 609/001 Prescott,Jamcs Jondall Employment Law 8 11 22 17 2 81 612/001,002 Kantor,Ailyn David Alt Dispute Resolution 10 17 13 8 50 616/001 Miller, Wi lliam I B1oodfeuds 5 18 18 18 23 90 621/001 Avi- Yon ah,Reuven S, Tax, Trade, Invest and Finance 2 2 26 625/001 Schneider, Carl E Law and Bioethics 2 1 3 17 630/001,002 Simma,Bruno Eckard Public International. Law 2 2 6 25 633/00 1 Litman,Jessica D Copyright 17 12 13 65 635/00 1 Beny,Laura Nyantung Corporate Finance 15 48 636/00 1 Laycock,Doug1as Religious Liberty 4 4 4 25 637/001 Pottow,John A B Bankruptcy 4 15 6 10 48 640/001 Jones,Martha S Critical Rare Theory 8 2 25 643/001 Larsen,Joan L Crim Pro:Bail to Post Con Rev 4 11 22 5 14 68 645/001 Gross,Sarnuel R Criminal Procedure Survey 10 14 12 19 66 650/001 Mukhetjee,Rahul Corporate Finance Tutorial 1 23 652/001 Wbite,Jarnes J Secured Transactions 11 10 44 82 657/001 Davis,Alicia J Enterpri se Organization 2 7 22 57 657/002 Howson,Nicholas Calcina Enterprise Organization 11 17 54 658/001 Hertz,Howard Entertainment Law 2 ll 11 51 659/001 Castilla,Rafael The Law of Managing Money 2 4 25 660/00 1 Vandervort,Frank B Juvenile Justice 4 4 22 664/001,002 Bamard,Catherine Sarah European Legal Order 5 8 6 4 39 667/001 Rothchi1d,John A Cyberlaw I 13 668/001 Kornfield,Susan M Adv Copyright Practice 2 2 7 669/001 Niehoff,Leonard Marvin Evidence 12 21 17 30 102 671/001 Routcl,Colette Natural Resources Law 4 5 10 4 30 672/001 Payton,Sallyanne Health Law: Regulation 2 673/001 Kochcn,Madeline Sara Fami1yLaw 11 4 36 678/001,002 Barr,Michael S, Beny,Laura International Finance 8 4 34 680/00 1 Govender,Karthigasen Constitutionalism in S Africa 18 36 681/001 Herzog, Don FirstAmendment 11 10 2 13 60 682/001 Anton,Don K Int'l Environment Law & Policy 687/001 Wicks,Michael lmmigrstion and Nationality 2 23 690/00 1 Chon,Margaret Int'l Intellectual Property 16 4 33 691/001 Avi- Yonah,Reuven S International Tax 14 28 693/001 Scinfeld,Gil Jurisdiction and Choice Of Law 13 17 35 29 19 130 695/001 Regan,Donald H International Trade Law 2 4 3 15 2 38 705/00 1 Davis,Alicia J Mergers and Acquisitions 10 4 39 708/001 Bart,Susan T Estate Planning 10 710/001 Stumpff,Andrew Employee Benefits & Exec Comp 20 �s ®£stae ------111 • �£pumh£r 17, 2009 Course/ 4.3 4.0 3.7 3.3 3.0 2.7 2.3 2.0 1.7 1.3 1.0 0.0 Class Section Professor Course Name A+ A A- B+ B B- C+ C C- D+ D E p s Size 7I2/00I Parson,Edward A Negotiation 13 11 40 725/00I Novak,Barbara Griffin Securities Reg Practil.'UID 4 9 726/00I Kahn,Douglas A Partnership Tax 16 728/00I O'Neili,Judy A Bankruptcy Pra.cticum 4 4 8 730/00I Rosenbaum,Mark D Adv Appellate Advocacy 73I/OOI Niehoff,Leonard Marvin Legal Ethics & Prof Resp 13 II 34 75 737/00 1 Bemard,Jack Higher Education Law 2 16 20 14 2 57 743/001 Khanna, Vtkramad itya S Securities Regulation 2 9 16 29 I1 25 101 745/001 MacKinnon,Catharine A Sex Equality l 31 43 18 6 113 746/001 Garlock,David C, Keinan,Yorarn Tax of financial Instruments s 2 I2 747/00 1 Kahn,Douglas A Taxation of Individual Income 23 53 749/00I Adams,J Phillip Corporate Taxation 13 751/00I Desimpelare,James Mark Accounting for Lawyers IO 18 10 I6 71 755/001 Waggouer,Lawrence W Trusts and Estates I 4 7 8 4 11 43 758/00I Schneider,Cari E Law, Medicine and Society 12 761/00I Haii,Noah Devan Water Law 22 763/001 Cardenas,Emilio Jorge Law oflnt'l Peace & Security 18 764/001 Baer,Susanne Katharina Ursula Const & Fund Rgts/Comp Persp 13 771/00I Van Putten,Mark Clinton How to Save the Planet I8 35 772100 1 Smith,Bruce P Crim Jury Trial: Hist&Altern 12 28 776/00I Gould,Dean J Real Estate Finance Law 4 4 28 777/001 Rine,Nichoias J Law and Development I 23 27 778/00I,002 Rine,Nicholas J Law and Development Research 23 28 780/00I Bennoune,Karima Evan Protect Hum Rgts in lnt'l Law 2 14 781/00I Eisenberg,Rebecca S FDA Law 2 I6 I2 33 788/001 Primus,Eve Brensike Habeas Corpus 2 3 3 13 790/001 Lyon,Andrea D Criminal Trial Advocacy 2 11 791/001 Uhlmann,David M Environmental Crimes 10 9 36 792i001 Clark,Sherman J Sports Law 9 2I I3 66 793/001 Katz.Ellen D Voting Rights I Election Law 24 23 4 I9 85 794/001 Frost,Philip M Senior Judge Seminar II 14 14 794/002 Parson,Edward A Senior Judge Seminar II 4 4 795/00 I Gross,Samuel R,Possley,Maurice J Innocent Defendants 23 2 28 797/00 1 K:inami,Atsushi Reading Japanese Law 3 s 80I/OOI Adams,J Phillip Tax Plan for Bus Trans 6 IS 805/00 1 Gosman,Sara Rotlet Enviromnental Justice IS 806/001 Howson,Nicholas Calcina The Chinese Corporation 8 809/001 Adehnan,Barry Alan Anatomy of a Deal 6 4 20 811/00I Niehuss,John Marvin International Project Finance 2 11 I9 8I2!001 Jackson,ShermanA Islamic Law 11 4 31 813/001 Whitman,Christina L B Supreme Court Litigation 4 11 IS 814/001 Mathew,Penelope Comparative Asylum Law 1 817/001 Roberts, Victoria A Fed Sentencing: Evol&Dynamics 4 15 8181001 Miller, William ! Faking It 7 2 14 819/00I Khanna,Vlkramadi tya S Corp Gov & Stk MktDevelop IO 4 20 821/001 Laycock,Douglas Restitution &Unjust Enrichment I4 822/00 1 Baer,Susanne Katharina Ursula Law and Inequalities 8 823/00 1 MacKinnon,Catbarine A Gender and Conflict 825/00 I Rosenbaum,Mark D Public Interest Advocacy I7 17 826/00 I Green, Saul Adair, Levy,Judith E Fair Housing Law & Policy 4 6 17 833/00I Avi- Yonah,Reuven S Tax Policy Workshop 2 10 4 16 834/001 Primus,Richard A Problems in Const'l Theory 12 835/00I Khanna,Vtkramaditya S Law & Econ Development: India II I9 837/001 Cooper,Edward H Making/Remaking the Civ Rules 2 13 840/001,002 Uhhnann,David M Advanced Environ Law 9 7 22 84I/001 Green, Thomas A Idea of Equality 2 15 I8 843/001 Hegarty,Kathleen Q U.S. Asylum Workshop 2 7 844/001 Rosenbaum,Mark D Pub Int Leg Thry : Education 6 11 845/00I Mathew,Penelope Refugee Rights Workshop I 846/00I Horwitz,JiH R Nonprofit Law and Policy 4 2 12 848/001 Duquettc,Donald N, Children & the Law Wrkshp 18 850/001 Herzog,Don Defamation IS 863/00I Green, Thnmas A History of Criminal Justice IS 20 865/001,002 Seinfeld,Gil Selec Tpcs in Fed Jurisdiction 2 2 IS 866/001 Cardenas .Emilio Jorge Infl Arbitration 2 6 3 I6 882/00I Bennmme)Cari.ma Evan Women 's Human Rights IO 886/00 I Sinnna,Bruno Ecksrd Impact of Hum Rts on Int Law 893/00 I Larsen,Joan L Presidential Power 4 IS 899/001 Moscow,C'yril Shareholder Litigation 8 4 13 927/00I Newman,Valerie R, Van Crim Appellate Practice 4 12 928/00I Newman, Va lerie R,Van Criminal Appel Pract Field 4 I2 930/00I Kagan,Neil S Enviromnental Law Clinic 9 10 Total 123 709 856 904 609 209 86 41 2I 185 6I3 10 4486 ------�' '=1===8 ===�=· ===· =· �= · ====�== 5=�==£s=t�===·=====�==��==�mh==�r==17=,=2=00=9� ��� Grade Curves: Deviations Winter 2009 Course/ No. Mean Within Deviation fro m Grade Guidelines Section Professor Course Name Graded C.>! ade Range? A+ A A· B+ B B- C+ C C- 510/002 Chon ,Margaret Civil Procedure 88 3.25 -I 510/001 Cooper,Edward H Civil Procedure 85 3.18 -2 520/001 ,002 Radin,Margaret Jane Contracts 176 3.21 -3 530/001 Moran,David A Criminal Law 90 3.20 530/002 Primus,Eve Brensike Criminal Lew 91 3.25 -2 530/003 West,Mark D Criminal Law 90 3.25 -3 540/00 1 Halberstam,Daniel H fntto to Constirutional Law 92 3.25 560/00 1 Schocider,Carl E Property 88 3.24 -3 580/00 1 Clark,Shennan J Torts 90 3.20 I 601/001 Payton,SaUyannc Administrative Law 12 3.50 high 4 -I -2 604/001 Cemak,Steven 1 Advanced Antitrust 9 3.48 high 606/001 Hakimi,Monica Transnational Law 28 3.30 high -5 606/002 Reimann,Mathias W Transnational Law 59 3.39 high -2 -4 -3 608/001 Leary,Margaret A Advanced Legal Research 41 3.72 high 13 -3 -9 -3 -2 609/001 Prescott,James Jomlall Employment Law 72 3.22 612/001 ,002 Kantor,AUyn David Alt Dispute Resolution 50 3.83 high II -5 -8 -4 -2 616/001 Miller, William I Bloodfeeds 66 3.31 high -2 621/001 Avi-Yonah,Reuven S, Tax, Trade, Invest and Finance 15 3.78 high -2 -2 -1 -1 625/001 Schneider,Carl E Law and Bloethics 12 3.69 high -I -1 -1 -1 630/001,002 Simma,Brnno Eckard Public International Law 8 3.46 high -1 633/001 Litman,Jessica D Copyright 51 3.34 high -1 -3 635/00 1 Beny,Laura Nyantung Corporate Finance 33 3.26 high -2 -2 636/001 Laycock,Douglas Religious Liberty 20 3.40 high -1 -I 637/00 1 Pottow,Joho A E Bankmptcy 36 3.38 high -1 3 -2 -2 -1 640/001 Jones,Martha S Critical Race Theory 23 3.63 high -2 -3 -1 -1 643/00 1 Larscn,Joan L Crim Pro:Bail to Post Con Rev 53 3.23 4 -6 645/001 Gtoss,Samuel R Criminal Procedure Survey 47 3.25 2 -4 650/00 1 Mukheijee,Rahul Corporate Finance Tutorial 16 3.76 high 4 -3 -2 -I -1 652/001 White,) ames J Secured Transactions 38 3.46 high -2 -2 657/002 Howson,Nicholas Calcina Enterprise Organization 37 3.26 high -I 657/00 1 Davis,Alicia J Enterprise Organization 33 3.37 high -2 -I 658/00 1 Hertz,Howard Entertainment Law 47 3.23 2 -7 659/00 1 Castilla, Rafael The Law of Managing Money IS 3.28 high -1 660/00 1 Van dervort,Frank E Juvenile Justice 21 3.29 high -1 -1 664/00 I ,002 Barnard,Catherine Sarah European Legal Order 22 3.62 high -3 -2 -1 667/001 Rothchild,Jobn A Cyberlaw 12 3.73 high 6 � � � I � 668/001 Komfield,Susan M Adv Copyright Practice 7 3.96 high -2 -1 -1 669/001 Nichoff,Leonard Marvio Evidence 71 3.22 -II 671/001 Routel,Colette Natural Resources Law 25 3.30 high -I -2 - 672/00 1 Payton,SaUyannc Health Law: Regulation 2 3.65 high 673/001 Kochen,Madeline Sara Family Law 31 3.63 high -2 -2 -2 -2 678/001,002 Barr,Michacl S, Beny,Laura International Finance 21 3.75 high -I -4 -2 -1 680/00 1 Govender,Karthigasen Constirutionalism in S Africa 35 3.37 high -1 -2 -2 681/001 Hcrzog,Don First Amendment 46 3.23 -I -1 682/001 Anton,Don K lnt'l Environment Law & Policy 7 3.94 high -1 -I -1 687/00 1 Wicks ,Michael Immigration and Nationality 16 3.58 high -1 -1 690/001 Chon,Margaret lnt'l Intellectual Property 29 3.63 high 13 I -7 -4 -1 691/001 Avi-Yonah,Rcuvcn S International Tax Law 26 3.84 high II 4 -4 -5 -2 -1 693/00 1 Seinfeld,Gil Jurisdiction and Choice Of Ill 3.24 -2 -1 695/00 1 Rcgan,Donald H International Trade Law 18 3.24 -1 -1 -I 705/00 1 Davis,Alicia 1 Mergers and Acquisitions 33 3.38 high -3 708/001 Bart,Susan T Estate Planning 3.10 low -2 -1 -1 710/00 1 Stumpff,Andrew Employee Benefits & Exec Comp 14 3.53 high -3 -1 712/00 1 Parson,Edward A Negotiation 34 3.57 high -4 -3 -2 725/001 Novak,Barbara Griffin Securities Reg Practicum 9 3.78 high 2 -2 -1 726/001 Kaho,DouglasA Partncrahip Tax 13 3.42 high 2 2 -1 -1 -1 728/001 O'Neili,Judy A Bankmptcy Practicurn 3.85 high -2 -2 -1 730/00 1 Roscnbaum,Mark D Adv Appellate Advocacy 3.78 high -2 -2 -I 731/001 Niehoff,Leonard Marvin Legal Ethics & Prof Resp 40 3.16 -I -I 737/00 1 Bernard,Jack Higher Education Law 55 3.66 high 10 II -10 -3 -3 743/00 1 Khanna,Vlkramad itya S Securities Regulation 74 3.37 high 3 -5 -3 -1 745/001 MacKinnon,Catharine A Sex Equality 103 3.43 high 13 -4 -7 -5 746/001 Garlock,David C, Keinan,Yoram Tax of Financial Instruments 9 3.64 high -1 -1 -1 747/001 Kaho,Douglas A Taxation of Individual Income 29 3.32 high 2 -1 -I 749/001 Adams,] Phillip Corporate Taxation 7 3.33 high -I 751/001 Desimpclare,James Mark Accounting for Lawyers 53 3.31 high -1 -1 755/00 1 Waggoner,Lawrence W Trusts and Estates I 31 3.27 high -1 -I 758/00 1 Schoeidcr,Carl E Law, Medicine and Society 9 3.96 high -1 -2 -1 761/001 Hall,Noah Devan Water Law 21 3.59 high -I -2 -I 763/001 Cardcnas,Emilio Jorge Law oflnt'l Peace & Security 3.53 high -1 -2 -1 764/001 Baer,Susanne Katharina Ursula Const & Fund Rgts/Comp Persp 10 3.63 high -I -2 -1 771/001 Van Putten,Mark Clinton How to Save the Planet 34 3.84 high 14 -5 -{; -3 -2 �5 (!i}£sta:.e ------111 • �£ptemh£r 17, 2009 �·� They're Still Just Grades: Deviations! CONTINUED from Page 16 song that never ends, 2Ls, and we want (on paper). We're all 3D people and, speaking of, you have our permission to you to break the cycle. Besides, you now transcripts notwithstanding, you'd be just use The Curves as a back up plate for know from experience thatnothing below surprised how many legal organizations your $1 grilled cheese - they don't have is going to change your grade, which was realize that fact; after all, they were once deals like that out in the cold, cruel world. probably 60% random chance and 40% law students too. But since we cannot stop winds of fate anyway. Maybe now's the you from snuggling The Curves under 2Ls - Don't you have enough to time to turn the pages before you have to your pillow to dream on Book Awards stressabout already? What withcallbacks put your head back between your knees. from Primus, we'd like to refer you to the and basement group participation and "Letter to a Erstwhile Valedictorian" (p. hyperventilating about your resume and lLs - We know we can't stop you 7) for another takeon getting through this all the Important! Classes! you've now from obsessing over these. Let's just say, thingcalled law school. Itmay be an(other) already missed weeks of due to, well, see then, that it's ok that you'll soon likely no electric phrase, but thankfully, it's truly thebe ginningof thissentence? It's like the longer be a unique and special snowflake not forever. Course/ 4.3 4.0 3.7 3.3 3.0 2.7 2.3 2.0 L7 1.3 1.0 0.0 Section Professor Course Name A+ A A- B+ B B- C+ C C· D+ D E p s 772/001 Smith,Bruce P CrimJury Trial: Hist&Altem 25 3.74 high -3 -3 -2 ·I 776/001 Gould, Dean J Real Estate Finance Law 21 3.26 high -I -1 777/00 1 Rine,Nicho1as J Law and Development 3 3.57 high ·I 778/001,002 Rine,Nicholas J Law and Development Research 3.57 high ·1 780/001 Bcnnoune,Karima Evan Protect Hum Rgts inInt'l Law 12 3.64 high 2 ·2 .J -1 781/001 Eisenberg,Rebecca S FDA Law 30 3.56 high 11 -6 -2 -2 788/00 1 Primus.Eve Brcnsike Habeas Corpus 12 3.61 high 2 ·2 -1 790/00 1 Lyon,Andrea D Criminal Trial Advocacy II 3.49 high -1 -1 -1 791/001 Ublmann,David M Environmental Crimes 34 3.48 high 4 -2 -2 792/001 C!Mk,Sherman J Sports Law 49 3.33 high 4 -3 -2 793/001 Katz,Ellcn D Voting Rights I Election Law 63 3.40 high 13 2 ·8 -1 ·3 794/002 Parson,Edward A Senior Judge Seminar II 4 4.00 high ·I ·1 -1 794/001 Fros4Philip M Senior Judge Seminar II 14 4.00 high 12 ·2 -4 -3 ·I ·I 795/001 Gross,Sarnuel R, Innocent Defendants 28 3.70 high 18 -5 -6 -2 -1 797/001 Kinarni,Atsushi Reading Japanese Law 3.78 high ·I ·I 801/001 Adams,J Phillip Tax Plan for Bus Trans 13 3.86 nla n!a nla nia nla n!af nlaf niaf n!af nlaf 805/001 Gosman,Sara Rollet Environmental Justice 15 3.83 nla nla n!a nla nla n!af nlaf n!af n!af n!af 806/001 Howson,Nicholas Calcina The Chinese Corporation 8 3.29 nla n!a n!a n!a nia n!af n/af n!af nlaf n!af 809/001 Adclman,Barry Alan Anatomy of a Deal 20 3.54 nla n!a nla n!a n!a nlaf nlaf nlaf n!af n!af Sll/001 Niehuss,John Marvin International Project Finance 8 3.60 n/a n/a nla n!a n/a n/af n/af nlaf olaf n!af 812/001 Jackson,Shcrman A Islamic Law 31 3.53 n/a n/a ola n!a n!a n!af nlaf n!af n!af n!af 813/00 1 Whitman,Christina L B Supreme Court Litigation IS 4.08 nla n/a n/a n!a n!a n/af n/af n!af n/af n!af 814/001 Mathew,Penelope Comparative Asyhun Law 3.88 nla n!a n!a n!a n!a n/af n!af n!af n!af n!af 817/001 Roberts, Victoria A Fed Sentencing: Evol&Dynamics 14 3.86 n/a n!a nla nia n/a n/af n/af n/af n/af nlaf 818/001 Miller, Wi lliam I Faking It 14 3.68 nla n/a n/a n/a n/a n/af n/af n/af n/af n/af 819/001 Khanna,Vikramaditya S Corp Gov & Stk Mkt Develop 19 3.77 nla n/a n/a nla n/a nlaf nlaf nlaf n/af n!af 821/001 Laycock,Douglas Restitution &Unjust Enrichment II 3.91 nla n/a n/a n/a nla n/af n!af nlaf nlaf nlaf 822/001 Baer,Susanne Katharina Ursula Law and Inequalities 6 3.88 n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/af nlaf n/af n/af n!af 823/00 1 MacKinnon, Catharine A Gender and Conflict 3.65 n!a n/a n/a n/a n/a n!af n/a/ nlaf nlaf nlaf 825/00 1 Rosenbaum,Mark D Public Interest Advocacy 17 4.00 nla n/a n/a n/a n/a n!af n/af n/af n/af nlaf 826/001 Grcco,Saul Adair, Lcvy,Juditb E Fair Housing Law & Policy 17 3.91 nla n/a nla n/a n/a n/af n/af n/af nlaf nlaf 833/001 Avi- Yon ah,Reuven S Tax Policy Workshop 16 3.96 n/a nla nla n/a nla n/af nlaf n/af nlaf nlaf 834/001 Primns,Richard A Problems in Const'l Theory 10 3.74 nla n/a n/a n/a n/a n/af nlaf nlaf nlaf n/af 835/001 Khanna, Vikramaditya S Law & Econ Development: India 19 3.77 n!a n/a n/a n!a n/a n/af n!af n/af n/af n/af 837/001 Coopcr,Edward H Making/Remaking the Civ Rules 9 3.93 n!a n/a n!a n!a n!a n!af n/af n!af n/af n!af 840/001,002 Uhlmann,David M Advanced Environ Law 17 3.84 n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/af n/af n/af n/af n/af 841/001 Green, Thomas A Idea of Equality 2 4.00 nla n/a n/a n/a n/a n/af n/af n/af n/af n/af 843/001 Hegarty,Kathleen Q U.S. Asylum Workshop 3.79 nia n/a n/a n/a n/a n/af niaf nlaf n/af n/af 844/001 Rosenbaum.Mark D Pub lnt Leg Thry: Education II 3.84 nla n/a nla n/a n/a n/af n/af n!af n/af niaf 845/00 1 Mathew, Penelope Refugee Rights Workshop 6 3.78 nla n/a nla nia n/a n/af n/af niaf n/af n/af 846/001 Horwitz,Jill R Nonprofit Law and Policy 3.82 n!a nla n/a n/a n/a n!af n/af n!af n!af n/af 848/001 Duquene,Donald N, Children & the Law Wrkshp 16 3.74 nla n!a n!a n/a nla niaf niaf n/af n!af n!af 850/001 Herzog,Don Defamation 13 3.83 n/a n!a n!a n/a n!a n/af n!af niaf n!af n!af 863/001 Green,Thomas A History of C..'riminal Justice 4.00 nla n/a n/a n!a n/a n/af n/a! n/af n/af n/af 865/001,002 Seinfcld,Gil Selcc Tpcs in Fed Jmisdiction 12 3.81 nla n!a n!a n/a n/a n!af n!af n!af n!af n!af 866/001 Cardenas,Emilio Jorge lnt'l Arbitration 11 3.86 n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/af n/af n/af n!af n/af 882/001 Bennounc,Karima Evan Women's Human Rights 3.82 nla n/a n/a nla n/a n!af nlaf nlaf n/af n/af 886/001 Simma,Bnmo Eckard Impact of Hum Rts on lnt Law 2 3.85 n/a n/a nia nia n/a n/af n/af nlaf n/af n/af 893/001 Larscn,Joan L Presidential Power 4 3.70 n/a n/a n/a n!a n/a n/af n/af n/af nlaf n/af 899/001 Moscow,Cyri1 Shareholder Litigation 13 3.60 n!a n/a ola n/a n/a n/af n/af olaf nlaf n!af 927/001 Newman,Valerie R.Van Crim Appellate Practice 12 3.80 n!a n/a n!a n/a n!a n!af n!af n!af n!af n!af 928/001 Newman,Valerie R,Van Criminal Appel Pract Field 12 3.80 n/a n!a n/a n/a n/a n/af n/af n/af n/af n/af 930/001 Kagan,Nei!S Environmental Law Clinic 10 3.97 n/a n!a n!a nla wa n/af n/af nlaf n!af nlaf �£pumh.er 17, 2009 lit------ Thursday, Sept. 1'1 Michigan Law Review). Online ha kovsky at [email protected] if you rassment of women exemplifies are interested. Constitution Day Breakfast (ACS) twenty-first century behavior that Kick offConstitution Day with coffee profoundly harms women yet too Monday, Oct. 12 and donuts! 7:30-11 AM; 100HH often remains overlooked and even trivialized. The refusal to recognize Inspiring Paths Series: Ben Berk Domestic Violence 101 Tr aining harms that uniquely impact women man, '05 (MHLO & the UM's Center (FLP) -Join us for trainingin order to has an important social meaning-it for Ethics in Public Life) - Mr. Berk participate in the Family Law Project. conveys the message that abusive be man, deputy director of the National 6-8:30 PM; 250HH. havior towards women is acceptable Human Genome Research Institute and should be tolerated. 12:15-1:15 Bioethics Core at NIH, will discuss Friday, Sept. 18 PM; 150HH. how he got started in his career, what experiences he undertook while in Election Petitions (LSSS) - Petitions Thursday, Sept. 24 law school to prepare for his current to runin the Law School Student Sen work, and advice for law students ate fall elections due at 5 PM. Email Mentorship Bonfire Kickoff (OPIS) who want to do Health Law and talleymj®umich.edu withquesti ons. - Come celebrate OPIS mentorships. Bioethics work. Lunch provided. Contact Michael Adler (mjadler@ 12:15-1:15 PM; 138HH . Monday, Sept. 21-'IUesd:ay, Sept. 22 umich.edu) or Matt Budow (mbu [email protected]) for more informa Friday, Oct. 23-Sunday, Oct. 25 Coffee and Donuts (SFF) -Student tion. 6:30-8:30 PM. Funded Fellowships will be serving Equal Justice Works Fair (OPIS) - free coffee and donuts to students Bach's Lunch (CMS) - Take a step Group trip to Washington D.C. Con participatingin L-Star this year. 8-10 back from law school and listen to tact Michael Adler (mjadler®umich. AM; Table outside 100HH. live music, a quartet performance, edu) or Matt Budow (mbudow@ withthe new Classical Music Society. umich.edu) for more information. 1\tesday, Sept. 22-Wednesday, Sept. 23 12:15-1 PM; Hutchins Courtyard. Wednesday, Oct. 28 Senate Elections (LSSS) - Vo te on Tuesday, Sept. 29 line for Law School Student Senate Professor Ray DeVr ies (MHLO) Elections at vote.umich.edu. Votes Office Hours (OPIS) - Come learn - The rights and wrongs of Dwarf collected all day. more about OPIS. 12:20-1:20 PM; Tossing are discussed. The topic illu 118HH. minates themes centralto the fieldof Wednesday, Sept. 23 bioethics, such as the issues of human Progressive Pub Trivia - Come joina dignity, autonom)" and the protection A Career as a Federal Prosecutor coalitionof progressive organizations of vulnerable persons. Lunch Pro (ACS) - Barbara McQuade, Michigan at MLaw, including ACS, ACLU, ELS, vided. 12:15-1:15 PM; 138HH. Law graduate and an assistant US OPIS, LSRJ, Outlaws, and NLG, for attorney, talks about her career as a a night of trivia and fun at Conor Thursday, Nov. 16 federal prosecutor. Last June, she was O'Neill's. 7 PM-9 PM. recommended for the US attorney's The Loss of Law as a Profession post in the EasternDistrict of Michi Wednesday, Sept. 30 (ACS) - David Nacht '92, thefounder gan by Senators Levin and Stabenow. of Nacht & Associates in AnnArbor , Lunch will be served. 12:20-1:10 PM; Lunch with Professor Scott Hersho will talk about how law has grown 218 HH. vitz (ACS) - Five lucky members of into a business and why the typical ACS Nationalwill lunch withProfes law school graduate ends up less Author Ta lk with Danielle Citron sor Hershovitz and ACS will pick up like Atticus Finch and instead more (MLR and WLSA) - Professor Citron the bill. This opportunityis available like Gordon Gekko, the investment discusses her essay "Law's Expres on a first-come, first-served basis to banker from the movie Wall Street. sive Value in Combating Gender students who have registered with Lunch will be served. 12:20-1:10 PM; Harassment" (forthcoming in the ACS National. ContactJane Khodar- 138HH.