ONE PER PERSON!

No. 786 Friday 27th November 1987 INSIDE

3 Housing Benefit What have we got Catnapping to expect after April FELIXs when she returned to the 1988. Students who paid 20p for a copy of FELIX when they were sold for Rag at the Smoking Concert must have felt very pleased with themselves on Huxley building to deliver some Friday morning. By that time the paper was in very short supply. Members additional copies. She was told by the of Guilds Union had stolen three thousand copies from the distribution Huxley messenger that the FELIXs 4 Union points. After tense discussions between FELIX Editor Judith Hackney, had been removed by two students. Guilds President David Tyler and Guilds Vice President Tanya Maule, Suspecting a Guilds Rag stunt, Miss all the FELIXs were returned to the usual sites. Hackney and FELIX staff member 5 Libel Adrian Bourne surreptitiously took Plus an extra special photographs of two Guilds students edition of The Baron. as they removed copies of the paper which had been left in the Department (This is, of course, of Electrical Engineering. When based on complete challenged over the disappearance of fiction and the FELIX, Mr Tyler admitted that characters areynot Guilds Union was responsible, but remotely connected said that the raid could not be with people alive or considered to be theft. He stressed dead.) that it was intended chiefly to avoid any detrimental publicity for Carnival. After stating his grievances, 6 Science Mr Tyler agreed to replace the missing copies of FELlX, on the condition that FELIX donated £20 to 9 Africa Rag. This request was refused, but all the missing copies of FELIX were comes to later returned on the instruction of Miss Maule. FELIX was in full Imperial , l_j i circulation by 11.00am. The removal of nearly an entire As the 'Real Sound Caught in the act Putting them back print run of FELIX has caused bad of Africa' play in the The 'raid' was organised by Mr attacked the organisation of Guilds feeling in the FELIX Office. Many Union Building. Tyler as a protest against material Carnival and carried advertising staff members had spent the whole of- published in last week's FELIX and which he thought would discourage Wednesday night working to get the in other recent editions. Mr Tyler felt students from attending. Mr Tyler felt edition ready for press. When FELIX 10 Previews & that some news stories concerning that this was in contravention of a is not distributed until after Friday Guilds Union had not been reported ICU Council ruling, which states that morning's lectures have begun, it has Reviews fairly. In his opinion, the story about Rag events should receive priority. generally been found that not all Cry Freedom. the theft of Dramsoc's ladder had The FELIX Editor is, however, students are able to collect copies. incorrectly implied that the ladder had entirely independent of Council. The situation appears to have been been stolen by Guilds. He was also Miss Hackney first noticed the upset that last Friday's FELIX had disappearance of most of last week's continued on back page, column 1 THE NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION printing difficulties throughout this Howgate yet—Bill Goodwin's term. It has been necessary to cut opinion article gave completely the down the number of pages to 20 from wrong impression—I have always 24. We had more than enough been talking to Ian. The 'Cold War' material to fill double that! If your has been created by certain Union article, letter or small ad has been Offficers who do not talk to FELIX. missed out or edited, I have to Why did I print the article? apologise, but some things just had Because I see no need to stifle to go to make room for the articles criticism, however misguided it is. we had to include. No doubt you will find articles in this issue which are far Survey less interesting that the one you I attribute the bad response to our submitted. I have to make decisions survey to three things: on number of pages, articles to I am saddened that Guilds Union of a page advert. I wanted people to The fact that it was not made clear include, where to put them, etc, on should have to get such bad press go to the Guilds Carnival so I wanted that A is to be answered by everyone, Monday afteroon. This is why there because of the actions of its President the publicity to be good. I am sorry B by males only and C by females is a deadline for any contribution on and other officers. To take FELIX that I included the snide comment at only. Congratulations if you filled in Monday lunchtime. If I don't know away from the distribution points is the bottom of the advert, but is that all sections. about your article before then, it unforgiveable, especially after so any reason to steal all the copies of That nobody know how to use the won't go in. Occasionally we may many people put so much effort into FELIX on Friday morning? internal mail system—just put your have a small space left by Tuesday getting the thing out on time in the Let's hope that the matter can now answers on a piece of paper, place the night or even Wednesday morning but first place. No matter how many be forgotten. I have apologised and paper in an envelope, put FELIX, this is a rare occurence. As a rule, if problems the Print Unit has gone Dave Tyler has apologised. I only Beit Quad on the envelope and give you don't want your article to be through, we have always got FELIX wish to add that if everything in it to the messenger (the guy who sits edited down it is best to edit it out to students on Friday morning, FELIX, not only the news, contained in the cubicle by the entrance to your yourself before you send it in. Try even if we have to go without sleep no opinion it would be very boring department). Voila. and keep reports down to 200 words to do it. The action by those people indeed. My editorial policy still Apathy, again. if possible. If you cannot hand in an was purely a crude act of censorship. remains: an entertaining newspaper article, eg Union Officer's report, by that contains an independent view on Thieves Having said this, I must apologise Monday lunchtime then please tell me events around College, independent We distribute FELIX free to all to Dave Osbourne and Murray and we can arrange a different but tongue-in-cheek news items and members of Imperial College Union Williamson for the advert I included deadline. I do not appreciate people informative articles. I'll let nobody on the understanding that each person last week. I genuinely thought that who ring on Wednesday afternoon change that policy. takes one copy only. We have very that advert was 100 times better than asking if they can have a report in little money so we can't produce the one which would have originally Friday's FELIX. gone in. They just submitted a few Deadlines enough copies for every member of words on a bit of paper for an eighth You have probably read of our College to have a copy. I frown on Next Week's FELIX departments who take copies of This is going to be mega! I've had to FELIX to give to sixth formers who tell so many people to bring their come for interviews—I know that this articles back next week that I'm going is happening as I've seen members of to have to start production today. staff taking 30 or 40 away at a time. Even if you've told me you intend to Some have the decency to come to the Dine in the write something, please tell me again Office and ask for copies. It's very so I can plan the issue this evening. flattering that College should want Monday's deadline is the last possible FELIX to use as a promotion for time to submit anything as we start College and the Union but it's just not Baron's Castle printing Tuesday morning. on. Each extra copy costs us 15p to produce, so please let the limited copies available go to those for whom Misunderstanding they are intended. So many people have come up to me and asked if I'm talking to Ian

Editor-in-chief Judith Hackney Business Manager Chris Martin News Editor Dave Burns Reviews Editor Ashley Niblock Features Editor Dave Burns Friday 4th December Clubs Editor Kamala Sen News Features Editor Bill Goodwin 7pm for 7.30pm Sports Editors Dominic Strowbridge 170 Queensgate and 'Hector' Sullivan Science Editor Steve Black ALL WELCOME Typesetting Rose Atkins Tickets £14.50 Printing Dean Vaughan Contributors: Ian Howgate, Andrew Waller, Dave Burns, from FELIX Linda Simmons, Chris Jones, Steve Black, lain More, Andy Bannister, Thomas Greig, Noel Curry, Chris Martin, Pippa Salmon, Kamala Sen, Martin Cole, John Denham, Al Birch, Dave Williams, Adrian Bourne, Rob Gee, Chas Jackson, Margaret Berry, Tanya Maule, Dave Jones, Dave Osbourne, FELIX DINNER John Noble, SLAGS, Bill Goodwin.

Friday November 27th 1987 FELIX News

allowed will be 80% of the eligible with the present rules on rates. There will be some adjustment Supplementary Benefit, any capital Housing Benefit after to allow for this in the amount of less than £3000 will be disregarded. Income Support, but for those The last time major changes to the receiving Housing Benefit alone, it Housing Benefit system were April 1988 will mean a reduction in allowable introduced was April 1983. The result rebate. was utter chaos in local authorities In April 1988 the Social rules is to 'unify' the way help is The amount deducted from the everywhere. This time, the changes given for housing costs for all eligible rent for students will also are in many ways even greater. Local Security Act 1986 will claimants. At present the rules for apply (currently £17.80 in London). authorities face an additional come into force, eligibility to Housing Benefit are In fact almost all the special rules workload and have little extra time to different for those claiming which relate to calculating student prepare for the changeover. It also introducing fundamental Supplementary Benefit and those who Housing Benefit will be carried over looks as if they will not be given changes to the whole claim Standard Housing Benefit from into the new Scheme (eg treatment of enough money to set up the new the appropriate local authority. Most grants and covenants, eligibility of system. It could well be that similar social security system, students are in the second category overseas students etc). problems as those experienced in including the Housing and claim during term time and short The table below gives some 1983 could be repeated, with massive vacations. examples of the possible effect. The delays and serious administrative Benefit on which students In April 1988 Supplementary figures are reproduced just as aerror s contributing to claimants' are so reliant. College Benefit will disappear, to be replaced guideline—the Government has not misery. by Income Support. The basis for yet announced the exact figures which So be on your guard if you claim Welfare Advisor Linda assessing the amount of Housing will apply in April 1988, only Housing Benefit after April 1988 and Simmons tries to explain... Benefit will be the same as that used suggested examples which have been don't receive when you expect them. for assessing Income Support. used in the calculations. Check at once with your local First the good news: there is at Therefore, as the rules for Income For the first time a capital cut-off authority or come and see me. The present no proposal to abolish Support treat under-25s less is going to be introduced to assess same applies if you are unsure about Housing Benefit for students. So most favourably than those over 25, most eligibility to Housing Beneift. Under anything to do with Housing Beneift people receiving benefit before April students will have housing bnefit the present scheme only interest or or any other benefit. 1988 will continue on benefit after assessed under these less favourable other income earned from savings is The system is horrendously April, but the amount paid will be rules. Another change is that a full taken into account. The capital cut- complex and I'll always do my best less. rate rebate will no longer be possible. off for Housing Benefit and Income to try to make the intricacies clearer. One of the purposes of the new Under the new rules the maximum Support will be £6000 with a I'm available at 15 Princes Gardens, reduction made to entitlement on any Monday to Friday, 10am to 2.30pm, capital between £3000 and £6000. As extention 3604.

UlUtravel 11 Estimated levels of Housing Benefit before and after lst April 1988

The calculations assume: A single student, under 25, with a standard grant and no other income. Three, ten-week terms and two, four-week short vacations. The level of Income Support for a single person under 25 to be set at £25 from lst April 1988. The student's eligible rent is not less than the rent element. The figures are for London only. All figures are weekly.

Eligible Standard HB HB Weekly rent* up to 31.3.88 after 1.4.88 loss

£ £ £ £ 18 .20 Nil .20 20 2.20 Nil 2.20 Worldwide flights on quality airlines 22 4.20 Nil 4.20 Special fares for students and academics 24 6.20 Nil 6.20 European trains and short breaks 26 8.20 2.13 6.07 Overland tours and holidays 28 9.56 4.13 5.43 Group bookings 30 10.76 6.13 4.63 32 11.96 8.13 3.83 Unbeatable prices — unbeatable quality 34 Enquiries and Bookings: 13.16 10.13 3.03 European 01-581 8233 36 14.36 12.13 2.23 Intercontinental 01-581 1022 38 15.56 14.13 1.43 40 16.76 16.13 .63 ULU Travel A service of Sherfield Building Imperial College Prince Consort Road __1 NB Eligible Rent equals full rent paid minus rates elements (if not known London SW7. TheWoridbeaters 30% of total rent) minus amounts for any gas or electricity included in the I rent (maximum deductions approximately £7 per week).

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 3 mm Union mm in? PGs take note! Zany Welfare SLAGS Hon Sex

Hello, my name is Helen Fitzpatrick The Society for Lesbian & Gay UGMs and I am writing as this year's Students have noticed that most Sometime over the weekend, Postgraduate Affairs Officer article posters put up on the premises someone removed the election papers (PGAO). You may not be aware that advertising their meetings are for first year council reps from my IC has a Postgraduate group which invariably torn down. This, of course, noticeboard in the Union Building should: Have you been burgled recently? Last is a sign not only of intolerance, but Foyer. I would dearly like to have 1. Represent postgraduates within Monday (16th), at least forty-two also of extreme ignorance. these back before Monday so that I ICU and the College. people were. Fortunately it was only However, perhaps this desicration can run the election at the UGM. -2. Provide social activities for by the zany Welfare Team who were of posters is carried out mostly by Otherwise I will have to go through postgraduates in the College. going round IC halls and houses, those who feel rather guilty about the whole procedure again, wasting both my time and that of the 3. Provide finance for departmental trying the doors of all the rooms. their own sexuality! candidates. If they are returned to the postgraduate groups. The wardens were very enthusiastic xxxx, Union Office I will drop this matter. Presently the committee is two about the campaign, all being very Society for Lesbian & Gay Students members strong with both members keen to improve security. But we're from the same department. To all fighting a losing battle if people prevent the committee from allocating don't take responsibility for the safety the entire budget (your money) to our of their own belongings. Not only can CUT THE KRAP own department the vacant positions you not complain if someone takes on the committee must befilled. An y things from your unlocked room, one who is interested in becoming a you'll have difficulty getting any committee member, a departmental insurance on it. Never let anyone you Cut 'n'Blow Dry £5.00 representative, or even just lending an don't know into the building either occasional hand should drop me a and keep outside doors locked. Wednesday Warn onwards note. I'd like to thank all the wardens, All ideas or suggestions relating to subwardens, Geoff Reeves, 'burglers' in the Ents Room (above the postgraduates within Imperial, will be and residents very much for all their gratefully received. Send them to help. New FELIX Office) PGA AO, Union Office. Love, Pippa.

t

ICI Agrochemicals has a number of vacancies for those 30th November 1987 at 7.00 pm in the Courtfield Suite, who wish to use their technical skills in a commercial Gloucester Hotel, Harrington Garden';, London SW7 4LH. environment:- Refreshments will be available. - On ourTechno-Commercial Scheme, the successful Applications should be received by Wednesday 13th applicants will spend 1-3 years in research and January 1988. Preliminary interviews will be held at the development, followed by a transfer to a post in Gloucester Hotel on Thursday 21 st January 1988. international marketing. Those seeking appointments in 1988 should apply (using - On our UK Sales training scheme, the successful the Standard Application Form) to:- Ms D L Matthias, ICI applicants will (after training) take up a position in UK .Agrochemicals, Fernhurst, Haslemere, Surrey, GU27 3JE. Agrochemicals Sales. For further details, contact the University Careers Advisory Service. There will be a presentation for 1988 and 1989 (23| Agrochemicals graduates, and any interested postgraduates, on Monday

FELIX 4 Friday November 27th 1987 Libel

Is 2nd Lt Dave Tyler taking up a THE MORON A new hobby truly reflective of his mature outlook on life? "Tee hee hee", thought Dave Braincell to Spotted in the Guilds' office this himstlf as he sat with all his helpers in the week were the essential pieces of temple of the lumps of metal worshippers. equipment necessary for his latest "Tee hee hee", thought five thousand passion—a Subbuteo set and Dave's citizens to themselves as they searched for favourite team. Also spotted in the copies of that week's edition of PHALLIX. vicinity of the Guilds' store were two "What a complete lump of offal Dave new cars for the Motor Club's Braincell is". Scalextric Champio/iship (!). Isn't it amazing what a university education Safe sex has arrived at Norman's— It was one of those occasions when can do to your mental age? the Union Snack Bar with the sale of tempers were wearing a bit thin. Dave Richard Branson's condoms 'Mates'. Braincell had carried out what he thought The first packet were ostentatiously was a brilliantly conceived plan. (Anyone Ex RCSU hack Dai Head intended purchased on Monday lunchtime by else who had the intellectual capacity of a to take part in the RCS Motor Club's yuppie FELIX Reviews Editor Ashley hedgehog's testicles might just have agreed Godiva Run last weekend but was 'rank and filofax' Niblock. One time with him). Braincell and a group of lumps of sponsored £60 to keep his clothes on. pop star Ash said "I will be reviewing metal worshippers had followed PHALLIX editor Judith Largeamounts the full range in a future issue." around Cheapskate, sneakily collecting all the piles of PHALLIX as they were distributed. Unfortunately, Largeamounts and the PHALLIX staff were Is the cold war between the FELIX extremely cross when they found out what Braincell had done. and Union offices over? '*** *** Braincell', said Largeamounts. Highlight of the RCS Smoking '**** *** Braincell', said Cwis Media. concert was the special guest <*.« *** Brainceil', said Willhebe Goodforacolumninch. appearance by Ian Howgate in the 'Crumbs', said Pippa Trout. FELIX sketch, an episode of 'The It had been one of those weeks when most of the PHALLIX staff had Baron'. Seen for the first time by the lost a lot of sleep producing PHALLIX, and this probably made it difficult large audience were Ian's infamous for them to see the humour in a group of demented morons hiding every sequinned dress and his magic wand. copy and preventing all the citizens from reading it. Alan Rose and Chas Jackson also Braincell was very sensitive about his public image. He had been very featured in the sketch, although Chas upset by a story in PHALLIX. The story had said that Braincell and his didn't do much acting. followers had not organised enough publicity for their Rug party. Braincell knew that this was a load of rubbish: there were two posters prominently displayed behind Braincell's altar in the lumps of metal worshippers temple. r FELIX Clubs editor Kamala Sen Obviously anyone who came in to the temple and could put up with has started receiving dirty phone calls Braincell drivelling on about square bashing would know all about the Rug and was recently offered £5 for an party. Braincell was quite sure that PHALLIX was out to get him: every item of a very personal nature by a time he made a complete arsehole of himself, PHALLIX would print the /://:// mystery caller. same old drivel about what a complete arsehole he was. Ms Sen was taking telephone bids After a few hours the PHALLIX staff had calmed down enough to start for a pair of boxer shorts donated to work on the next week's issue of PHALLIX. Thinking that Braincell was 'Children in Need' by Childrens' feeling a little hard done by, they decided to print a special message just BBC TV presenter Philip Schofield for him: when one listener got slightly confused and was convinced that a jockstrap was up for grabs, much to THE BARON'S the amusement of fellow telephonists Judith Largeamounts and Pippa PRINTING SERVICES Trout. From the PHALLIX sweatshop, a service especially tailored to suit your needs. Yes, if your name is Dave Braincell then read on. You have an Since being featured in 'Eye Spy', N issue of Lumsofmetalsheet to get printed? Then we can certainly help! Yes, Mike 'What's a condom' has, if the with the 'Baron's printing service' your artwork will be prepared for the College Refectories Manager Rob small ads column is to be believed, presses as soon as it is delivered. After printing, folding and collating we Northey has purchased a washing had quite an eye opener of a weekend. can cut out the middle man and throw the whole lot straight into the bin! machine to clean the polystyrene Last week the female occupants of a Spare everyone the labour of stealing all the copies, and bypass the reader burger containers in the QT Snack nearby flat offered to show him what completely! Bar, it was announced on Monday. a condom was and this week there are The move comes as part of a College- two ads from Mike on the subject. We think you'll agree, it's unbeatable value. wide drive to increase conservation Will Mike be seen stocking up for this Issued on behalf of the 'Why should we bother' Commission. awareness amongst staff and students. weekend in Norman's at lunchtime? Rob Northey told FELIX that the The PHALLIX staff contented themselves with the thought that if machine will enable the containers to 'Interesting' Prof Haines of the Braincell ever tried the trick again he would be spending a few weeks be recycled, leading to a reduction in Department of Physics missed an in the slammer. the ozone layer damage caused by opportunity to raise over £50 for rag volatile fluorocarbons in new Why does Braincell wear a condom on his head? when he refused to allow the Guilds containers. He also pointed out that Hit Squad to flan him on behalf of his Who the hell voted for him anyway? the machine would save the 2nd year electro-magnetism class. refectories £100 per annum. 'It's a Whose genitals will be nailed to his forehead if he picks up more than Another Physics lecturer, Dr David jolly good idea' commented Dr Websdale, was much more sporting one copy of PHALLIX next week? Krippen of Physics 'this move will and agreed to a hit paid for by his 1st You shouldn't need to wait to find out in the next episode of 'the Baron reduce the ozone depletion rate by year Physics class. of Cheapskate'. 10"10 molecules per second'.

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 5 Small star UNDER THE Radiation fills a MICROSCOPE is worse than we hole by Steve Black

Astronomy is an inexact science. Theories are considered good if they get answers within an order of thought magnitude of observations. Factors of Editorial-science & values a hundred are considered worrysome. So astronomers have had a lot of trouble with the mass of the universe. There has been some criticism of last would still think that tobacco was OK Observations of the motion of stars week's comment on the state of things if there had not been honest Patent medicines containing and galaxies suggest that the mass of with Star Wars. It was a rather individuals who were willing to stand radioactive mixtures used to be the universe is about one hundred opinionated piece, and some people up against the huge industry and say popular (some of them glowed in the times larger than the mass of all the have argued that there is no place for that fags cause cancer. Where would dark). People simply did not know observed objects added up. such opinions in a page about science we be if rich companies could prevent the truth emerging by bribing the what exposure to ionising radiation Lots of theories have been proposed (please note that the article did contain experts? did to the body. Nowadays we know to explain the missing mass, though a lot of facts taken from the scientific just how nasty most forms of radiation none has suggested that it has been press; Woodruff's case has received Scientists increasingly have to make are. For example, when you have an stolen. Astronomers have been fond a large amount of publicity in Nature, more important judgements about the X-ray taken at a hospital, the of straying into particle physics to find for example). This objection seems to implications of their work. Scientists radiographer has to hide behind a lead their lost weight: massive neutrinos imply that the world of science stands who leave such questions for the shield. were one popular suggestion. But, entirely apart from the world of politicians are abdicating their Much of our information on just actual experiments have consistently values: that is, there is no place within responsibilities. They are the moral how nasty radiation can be, comes kept any mass hidden in the neutrino science for the discussion of the uses equivalents of the scientists who used from studies of the long term effects very small indeed. It would be better of science. I disagree, and it is worth concentration camp victims as of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Not if astronomers didn't have to appeal explaining why. convenient Guineapigs for horrendous everyone who was near the two to particle physics to solve their Perhaps the most important thing experiments. Scientists have to explosions has died yet, so we have problems (partially because it's a very connecting the world of morality and become more like Woodruff and start not yet obtained reliable information difficult subject and causes them the world of science is the challenging those who make on the long term effects of low doses enormous amounts of mental strain). requirement for truthfulness in misleading claims for their work. More than that they have to start of radiation. However, the latest Some recent observations seem to scientific work: unless scientists asking themselves if their work is results are disturbing since they be filling in the holes. A,n indirect report their results accurately science morally justified at all. Star Wars is suggest that previous estimates observation of the infrared radiation cannot continue. a good example. There are good seriously underestimated the long from the white dwarf star Giclas It is probably not surprising that, reasons for supposing it will upset the term dangers of radiation. 29-38 (this is the star's telephone in a society increasingly dominated by balance of power, making war more The National Radiological number) suggests it has a cold but the ethic of individualism and self- likely. There are even better reasons Protection Board has called for large companion. Theoretical advancement, scientific fraud is on the why it is unlikely to work at all. The dramatic reductions in the exposure estimates suggest that the companion increase. Several recent cases have scientists who know this but continue of workers to radiation. The amount has a temperature of about 1,200 K come to light (see Nature 329 p377). to take the (vast amounts of) money, of radiation exposure allowed is to be and is about 4 to 8 % the mass of the Most were caused because scientists are guilty of dereliction of their moral reduced soon by a factor of three in Sun. This puts it right on the are increasingly judged by how much duty. At the very least they are those working in nuclear plants. This borderline between stars and planets. work they produce, so the workers in wasting large amounts of public question improved their publication seems likely to cause major problems The observation is important for money that would be better spent record by inventing a few extra for the nuclear industry, which will various reasons. Brown dwarfs have elsewhere; worse they could be results. These cases have caused a have to spend vast sums of money been popular candidates for some of encouraging politicians to think that good deal of worry in the world of increasing protection for its workers the missing mass for some time, but war is fightable. It seems that the more wefind out they have never been observed science, because they diminish the about radiation the worse it gets before. They are objects just not quite trust that is necessary for science to Scientists who are not guided by Sooner or later the electricity industry big enough to get seriously into work. Policing the world of science any ethical considerations are bad for will have to ask whether atomic nuclear fusion. Theory is a bit poor is impossible, so we have to rely on science and dangerous to society. power is worth the trouble. It will do at predicting exactly what size they the honesty of individuals. They are not going to be taught ethics it sooner rather than later if the should be or exactly how many of The public and the state also rely at Imperial College, where Government privatises the nuclear them there should be. So, now that on the honesty of the experts who give conformism is the ideal. So this power stations with the rest of the we can see them if we know what to them advice. This trust is severely column will do its best to maintain industry. look for, astronomers can refine their damaged when scientists allow some sort of balance and, when theories with actual observations. If themselves to be bought by particular ethical issues arise, will not hesitate there are lots of them they may well interests. The interests of the food to discuss them. You are, of course, end up accounting for a lot of the industry are not always compatible entitled to disagree with my Complaints, news stories and unseen mass that so bedevels with our health, so we need honest conclusions, and their contrary features should be sent to the observational astronomy. (Nature 330 independent experts to oppose the opinions on any subject. FELIX Office or to me via Chem pl05) effects of junk food advertising. We PG letter racks or phone 4642

FELIX 6 Friday November 27th 1987 RSM Open Day 1987 INSEAD-Providing Thursday December 3rd 1987 square metres of the concrete Open day this year has been designed walkway outside and adjacent to the 'significant upward mobility' on a more lavish and hopefully more RSM and Electrical buildings. appealing scale. A more professional Particular effort has been devoted to and 'up market' approach is to be give this aspect of a professional INSEAD is the largest and the most first year out salary would just cover adopted in the overall presentation. atmosphere and will be open international of the European the fees. But unlike a lot of MBA The three departments of the throughout the day to visitors and to postgraduate business schools. programmes, eg London Business RSM—Geology, Materials and all students of Imperial College who Twenty-seven years old it is situated School, it is one year only. Banks are Mineral Resources Engineering—will wish to confer with the organisations in Fontainebleau just outside of Paris. willing too to finance students at very be open for sixth form students, present. Students come in two classes for the low interest rates. Why? INSEAD accompanying school staff and invited Visiting school staff and staff one year MBA—150 starting in graduates end up not only usually industrialists to tour undergraduate manning the main exhibition will be September and another 150 in with significant upward mobility in teaching areas. Over 500 visitors are invited to a buffet lunch hosted by January. The UK and France each career and change of direction if expected to attend and will be guided members of the academic staff of the provide about a quarter of the wanted, but along with that a sharp in small groups by undergraduate three departments. students, with another 25% from boost in salary. students through displays of In addition to the main exhibition other European countries, 12% from Engineers make up about 30% of undergraduate project work. area there will be two static exhibits Canada and the United States, with the recruitment so IC grads would not Admissions tutors, careers advisors, located in the roadway outside the the remainder from the rest of the feel alone. They would even find a and other academic staff will be entrance to the Royal School of Mines world. few IC people there—Ala available to discuss the different in Prince Consort Road. Volvo BM Entry is very competitive with an Sawistowska, BSc 1978, won a degree courses on offer and career (UK) will be providing a 30 tonne acceptance rate of about 1:6. French Cosmopolitan award to go to paths open to graduates. Rock Shovel and Mineral Contract is an entry and German an exit Fontainebleau last year. An integral part of the day will be Services will be providing a 25 tonne requirement although little teaching Because of the work experience an exhibition supported by 30 Dump Truck. These exhibits will be is done in the former and none in the requirement, INSEAD is not organisations who are associated with available throughout the day for latter. Work experience is virtually a immediately accessible to IC subject areas within the degree course visitors to examine. prerequisite with the average age undergrads. But it might be worth or who may be future employers. This All students are invited. Be there! being around 28. hearing on site about something for exhibition will be held within a large Peter G Darling, Mining III. It is private and seems initially the future. heated marquee covering over 400 expensive. The average IC student's

BUFFET BAR

BP EXPLORATION STAFF will talk informally about PETROLEUM ENGINEERING

and the openings in this field for Engineering, Mathematics & Physics graduates on Wednesday 2nd December 1987 at 5.30 p.m. in THE ANTE ROOM, SHERFIELD BUILDING

'Petroleum Engineers are concerned with a wide range of oilfield operations, from identifying and appraising new prospects to maximising the economic recovery of oil (or gas) from producing fields. Their work can range from practical operating methods to sophisticated software simulation.'

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 7 Imperial College Bookshop

Imperial College London SW7 2AZ (01) 589 5218 Hours: 9.00 - 5.00 Mon - Fri For all your recommended text books at under- graduate and post-graduate level.

Current best sellers in paper or hard back.

A comprehensive range of drawing and stationery items.

Any book or stationery item, technical or not, may be ordered through the bookshop or our mail order department if necessary for despatch anywhere in the world.

This is your bookshop. Use it.

Imperial College Union presents THE IAN HOWGATE EXPERIENCE

STARRING: Ian Howgate k Alan Rose WL Ian Howgate Chas Jackson JHklan Howgate **and a cast of thousands 'PLUS an extra special I by Ian Howgate Backing vocals and drill by Captain Braincell All over College /VOW/ See them all at the IC UGM in the JCR Tuesday 1st December 1987 a-r- II " Featu r Africa comes to Imperial

One of the best bands to appear at IC for many years is happening—that's the only way to describe it—on 3rd December as the main attraction of the Christmas Party. Read on for the low down on a group who are even now being plugged by no less a person than John Peel. If anyone out there thinks that thirteen is an unlucky number, they had better change their ideas a bit smartish, because the thirteen members of The Real Sounds Of Africa will have something to say about it. Originally from Zambia, and now based in Zimbabwe, this bands blend of infectious African energy with their own version of the latin polyrhythms of the rhumba has moved those other denizens of the music world, the Bhundu Boys to say: 'Real Sounds? They're better than us....' High praise indeed. This band is no newcomer to the musical scene, and can claim to have been around longer than, say, Dire Straits; they formed in Zambia in 1975, moving to Zimbabwe three years later, although their first LP, Harare, wasn't released until the group was celebrating its tenth anniversary. The basic musical form is that of the soukous, an African derivation of the rhumba which is thought to have been brought back from the Cuban end of the Carribean. That, and group member Jozos explanation, 'We are trying to play Zairean music with a Zimbabwean flavour', will probably leave you as much in the dark as it did me, but the success of the formula can easily be judged: The Real Sounds' residency, the Seven Miles Hotel in Harare seats 1000, and playing there three nights per week the band fill it to the top. into an exotic mix - the only people contortionists going. His inclusion in The Christmas Party starts at 9pm Every single night. For those of you who can resist dancing are those who the show isn't mere kitsch, either: one and there are free mince pies for the unlucky enough to miss them when are put off their stroke by the of the main pieces has as its focus the first hundred people. Tickets are £2 they appeared on last week's South refreshing lack of a heavy beatbox death of an entire village, and its in advance and can be purchased Bank Show, this is what they are bass. magical revival, and those who have from Norman's Snack Bar or the ICU about. Twelve musicians, playing So, that's twelve: how about the seen this live will tell you that it really Office. Alternatively, if you bring this sax, snare, lead and bass guitars and thirteenth? Bring on the Witch works. page along to the party, you can get tons of percussion, together with Doctor! No kidding, his name is All in all, an amazing concept, and in for only £2 on the door. (If you vocals which at first hearing seem Mashura Nzou, and in addition to his on top of that they are football crazy don't you'll be charged £2.50). simple, but soon reveal their subtle interest in alternative medicine he as well and they sing a song about and complex harmonies, all blended must be one of the most flexible it. Don't miss 'em.

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 9 Br"— views JfAKE- The Phantasmagoria As is so often the case with for the interval a human gyroscope is contemporary dance, a production is brought on stage, although I must not so much a story as a series of admit to wondering how the man has sketches based on a theme. The going to stop spinning let alone get Phantasmagoria is no exception. out of the contraption which was Originally, The Phantasmagoria taking him round and round. was a form of entertainment using a The second half is in a slightly 'magic' lantern to produce illusions different vein, with song as well as and fantasies of the mind. The dance. The choreography seemed London Contemporary Dance theatre much more traditional and this was sets out to recreate some of this reflected in the confidence of the mysticism. The opening scene, dancers as they went through the Pandor's Box is a magical dance, lead routines. Again there are some lovely With Christmas not too distant, the 7.30pm, Saturday). Can anyone look by a two-faced creature well illusions, the music was more TV channels are obviously saving Marti Caine in the eye without portrayed by Anita Griffin, displaying flowing, and the tongue-in-cheek their best (?) for later. The BBC have, thinking about that cruel caricature on the 'freaks' of the circus at the turn humour which appeared in the first however, celebrated the departure of Spitting Image! Things don't improve of the 18th century. The effects are half continues. Michael Grade with four new series. much on Sunday unless of course the well produced and the atmosphere is All in all it is a very enjoyable Old Favourites, Kenny Everett (8pm, Royal Variety Performance is of built up immediately. The rest of the evening with the experimentation in Monday) Dallas (8pm, Wednesday) interest (ITV, 7.15pm), though the first half of this production continues choreography for the first half and A Question of Sport (8pm, Birdman of Alcatraz (BBC2, in much the same vein, creating contrasting the easiness of the second. Thursday) all return, with a new 10.15pm) is always worth seeing beautiful illusions. My particular The ability of the principal dancers three-part thriller series, The again. favourites were a glowing web with helped sometimes to pull together the Marksman starting at 9.30pm a week Monday sees another in the series a man trapped inside, a sketch with coordination of the others who did not on Friday. of Woody Allen films, Sleeper a man in a smouldering suit and a always seem as confident. However Blind Date (ITV, 8.15pm, (BBC2, 9pm). Allen wakes up in the visually delightful sketch using the quality of the dance is high and Saturday) with its rehearsed lines is year 2173, 200 years after going into mirrors to multiply the apparent throughout the performance you really becoming tedious, but last hospital for a routine ulcer operation number of people on stage. Just constantly find yourself marvelling at week's reached an all time low with (and you thought the NHS waiting before the safety curtain is lowered their combined elasticity and stength. OAPs joining in. It certainly looks lists were bad). M.B. like the programmes are encouraging On a more serious note First us to turn off our tellies 'and go and Tuesday (ITV, 10.30, Tuesday) do something less boring instead'. investigates racism in Alabama, 25 And true to form Ms Black is years after Martin Luther King spoke followed by Ms Caine and New Faces of his dream of racial harmony. of '87 Live Grand Finale (ITV. Relative Strangers Maureen Rissik (Penguin, £3.50) Relative Strangers by Maureen Rissik Maureen Rissik herself has spent is a book for rainy afternoons (not her life working in a publishers and advised for exam week since it is it comes as no surprise to find details Competition nearly impossible to put down). and phrases that could only have been Unlike many seemingly similar concocted by someone 'in the novels, it is well written, well business'. However, it is well organised and even contains a nearly explained and leaves you feeling a feasible storyline. little more learned in the world of The plot itself is somewhat flimsy: publishing. rich beautiful women meets rich, The book encapsulates many beautiful stranger (male) and the problems, but the key message is resulting relationship haunts the surely that it is possible to succeed as remainder of the book. She takes over a woman in a corrupt and ambitious the family publishing firm from her business (and world) consistently incompetent brother who then dominated by men. My feelings: disappears off to a drying-out clinic. interesting and very much alive, but Various characters find their way into not recommended to those who turn the story through the publishing to Tolstoy and Dickens for light world, or the stranger's shady relief! Despite the very cool ending, dealings. The whole thing concludes I enjoyed every minute of Relative with a grand finale of the ultimate Strangers. crime brought about by the ultimate T.G. abuse of power and the woman realises what sort of man this stranger really is: actually an incredibly, Margaret Berry unfulfilling and very predictable The winner of last week's competition was Alistair Seymour with this Noel Curry conclusion. wonderful little gem. Collect your t-shirt from the Office today. Special Thomas Greig merit awards go to Phil Adams, K Wiles and Neil Boxall.

10 Friday November 27th 1987 FELIX Cry Freedom There seems to be some unwritten law, which Richard Attenborough is a firm believer in, that a film must be at least two-and-a-half hours long if it is to be an epic. And although the two hours and forty minutes of Cry Freedom did not by any means drag, it could have profited well from some selective editing and restructuring. The film, which has been publicised as the biography of Steve Biko, is as much about the deceased black activist as it is about Donald Woods, the author of the two books Biko and Asking for Trouble, on which the film is based. The plot divides neatly into two halves, the first dealing with the friendship that develops between Biko and Woods, then the editor of a white liberal South African newspaper, and the second with how Woods slowly begins to appreciate the views of black consciousness. The second half deals with Woods' plight after Biko's death in prison and his subsequent bid to flee from the restraints and dangers of South Africa.

Attenborough would have done well to concentrate more on Biko's life and death, and less on Woods' attempt to flee South Africa. By comparison, the second half lacked any real tension anyway. The parallels with Ghandi are obvious and Attenborough is once again drawn to a character who seems to represent true goodness, hope and tolerance in the face of open bigotry, hatred and evil. However, the advantage Attenborough had with Ghandi was that he was re-animating a historical figure, who to a large extent had been forgotten, and also the audience was able to proudly condemn the terrible crimes of audiences now no longer fall for the ugliness of the blacks' situation. nastier a character was, the more another generation. Whereas now a heart-rendering departures; instead Denzil Washington has a difficult task pronounced their South African lot of the audience may be more they demand more realism. Although in creating the saintly character of accent. familiar with the case of Biko, and Attenborough's direction is somewhat Biko, one of the main black leaders Despite its faults, Cry Freedom came while condemning the visible evil in disjointed at times, there are some who pushed for peaceful through as a strong film and as one South Africa, must remember that scenes where his touch shines confrontation to apartheid, into a of the most important films of the they themselves live in a society that through, (primarily the brilliant believable human being, but he copes year. It deserves attention and should does nothing to prevent this, and opening scene of the raid of the illegal admirably. Kevin Kline is excellent be seen, for it raises issues which the indeed financially supports it. Some shantytown Crossroads and also the as Donald Woods, the liberal white, South African government has people may not like being reminded '77 disturbances in Soweto, during who discovers that the blacks don't managed to bury in the last year. how unconcerned and uncaring they which 700 people died) and the want to be 'let into' the white society; However, it should not be over-rated are. But it is for this very reason that, overall feeling of the film is right. The they want South Africa on their own just because of the worthy ideals it although Ghandi was a better film, film does become a political preacher terms. There is a strong British cast supports. Although this may be the Cry Freedom is a much more at times as Biko talks almost directly littered throughout the film including best role of Kline's career it is not his important one. to the camera, which is unnerving. Penelope Witton (as Woods' wife), best performance, as some have On a purely cinematical level, the (I'd rather be shown the truth than Timothy West, Ian Richardson, Alec suggested. It reaffirms the general standard of the film varies greatly told it.) Biko's story works much McCowen and most notably John condemnation of apartheid without from scene to scene. Attenborough better on a humanitarian level, with Thaw as the particularly nasty saying anything desperately new. On lets us down quite often with the the stunning photography (a lot of Kreuger, Head of Police. All have the other hand; apartheid is wrong— forced sentiment and cliched frames which was shot in Zimbabwe) varyingly successful South African what more is there to say? of a few scenes, but the prevailing bringing an added contrast between accents ranging from Scottish to N.C. emotions are real, and modern the beauty of the country and the Australian. It is notable that the

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 11 Evening Presentation for final year and postgraduate Biologists, Biochemists, Chemists, Microbiologists and related subjects.

BEECHAM PHARMACEUTICALS

a highly successful international pharmaceutical organisation is currently undertaking a major expansion programme and invites you to come and discuss the wide range of exciting career and research opportunities available in Research with Company representatives at the Main Teaching Room Southside Conference Suite (with light refreshments) at 7.00pm on Monday 30th November 1987

Beecham Pharmaceuticals Diary

Socialist Society Meeting Shotokan Karate 7.00pm. Caving Club Meeting 7.00pm. 12.45pm. What's On Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. £1. Southside Upper Lounge. Brown Committee Room. All welcome. Contact Adrian Grainger (Maths 3). Beginners Ballroom 8.00pm. Advanced Ballroom 7.00pm. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club Ski Club 12.45pm. FRIDAY Above Southside Bar. Sign up for lessons, OpSoc Rehearsal 7.30pm. Tang Soo Do 9.00pm. racing team and the holiday at Christmas, Southside Gym. Instructor P W Yap (4th 53 Princes Gate. See OpSoc. Circuit Training 12.30pm. dan black belt). Beginners welcome. £1.00 Microclub Talk 1.00pm. Beginners Ballroom 8.00pm. Union Gym with Cross Country and members. 'Alice'—Imperial College's Parallel JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. Athletics Club. Everyone welcome. Processing Project. Physics LT1. Free to Guilds & RCS Radioshow 9.00pm. Dai Rocking 9.00pm. members. Orienteering 12.30pm. Prizes, good music and all the latest gossip! IC Radio (999kHz). The best in hard rock Brown/Green Committee Room (top floor of Amnesty Talk 1.00pm. and not so hard rock music including the Union Lower Lounge. Helen Bamber from Union Building). Arrangements for following featured album every week with David Medical Foundation for the Rehabilitation of Sunday's event. Williams. TUESDAY Torture Victims. Free. Third World First 1.00pm. Christian Union 8.15am. 139 Huxley. Dr Chaplin Isanad. ind Soc Presents 1.00pm. Chemistry 231. See Steve Clark, Christian WEDNESDAY Chem Eng'LTl. Stoy Hayward talks to the GLC Meeting 1.00pm. Union. society about 'Sources of Venture Capital', SCR (above.Norman's). Sign up for next Guiness & Gossip 12.30pm. Sailing 12.30pm. week's events and have a cup of coffee. SFSOC Libary Meeting 1.00pm. Meet outside Southside. Sailing Club meeting above Stan's. Green Committee Room, Union Building. Friday Prayer 1.00pm. IC CathSoc Mass 12.30pm. Explanation of Holy Qur'an ...... 1.00pm. Borrow, books from our vast library, help The Union Building. See Islamic Society. - Chemistry 231, Quiet and contemplation 9 Prince's Gardens. Talk given by Dr Darsh. plan future events. Members only. See Islamic Society. between lectures or exams. Food provided Lunch-Hour Concert 1.30pm. (50p). All welcome. SATURDAY Industrial Soc Visit afternoon. The Fairfield Quartet, The Music Room, 53 Boardsailing 12.30pm. To British Gas Research Station. Lunch, Princes Gate, presentation and tour. Send £3 deposit Guilds Motor Club 8.00am. Regular meeting in Southside Lounge to Arabic Classes 1.30pm. cheque to C Keener, Chem Eng III. Goodwood Race Circuit. Scrutineering starts organise trips. Prayer Room. See Islamic Society. at 8am at the circuit. All drivers and cars BUNAC 12.30pm. IC Gay Okay 12.30pm. please be there on time. Gliding Club Meeting 5.30pm. Green Committee Room, Top Floor of the If you would like to work in the USA or Aero 254. Arrange trial flights, lifts to Union Building. Shotokan Karate 10.00am. Canada then come and see IC's Lasham, talks and then to the bar. representative of BUNAC in the JCR. Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. £1. Ski Club 12.30pm. Orienteering Training 5.30pm. Above Southside Bar. Meet for trip to dry Tang Soodo 4.00pm. Ski Club 12.45pm. Union Gym. Social meeting held from ski slope for lessons and recreational skiing. Union Gym. Instructor P W Yap (4th dan Above Southside Bar, sign up for lessons 6.30pm onwards. black belt) beginners welcome. £1 and recreational skiing. Bring gloves and thick socks. members. Academic Seminar S.OOpm. Golf Meeting 1.00pm. IC UGM 1.00pm. Huxley 341. All AC reps from Chem Eng, Sudbury. Regular weekly meeting. JCR. Come and debate to your hearts Physics and Material should attend. content. Caving Club Meeting 1.00pm. SUNDAY Judo 6.30pm. Union Snack Bar. Concert 1.00pm. Union Gym. Next beginners' Wargames Meeting Mech Eng Foyer. Lunchtime concert by IC 1.00pm. Wargames Meeting 1.00pm. course-January. | Senior Common Room. Concert Band. Senior Common Room. Film 7.00pm. Industrial Soc Presents 1.00pm. Beginners Rock n Roll 2.00pm. Mech Eng 220. 'FX-Murder by Illusion'. Chem Eng LT1. Mr John Banham, Director UDH. 80p. See Dance Club. 50p to members, £1 others (membership MONDAY General of the CBI. As seen on TV. available). Shotokan Karate 3.00pm. Rock Soc Meeting 12.30pm. Speaker Meeting 1.15pm. Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. £1. Gay/Lesbian Group 7.30pm, Southside Upper Lounge. Interested in any Read Theatre, Sherfield Building. 'The ULU Building, Malet Street. Mens group Advanced Rock n Roll 3.00pm. form of rock? Come along! origins of the architecture of Imperial room 3a, womens group room 2e. Meet College: the scientific and technological UDH. 80p. See Dance Club. Curry Soc 12.30pm. weekly for speakers and booze. buildings of London' by Frank James. Weekly meeting. Southside Upper Lounge. Soul Express 9.00pm. Holy Qur'an Recitation 1.30pm. Huxley (ly^f ^ [>j j q q ^ Ijng, Artsoc Meeting 12.30pm. IC Radio. Danny & Ken present the best in Prayer Room. See Islamic Society. Maths aMMWMpMlMlMi SCR Union. Come to sign up and pay your soul, dance and house. ULU Meditation Group money for tickets for forth-coming events, Islamic Circle 5.30pm. 7.00pm. Ents Present 9.00pm. Room 3A, University of London Union, eat biscuits and drink coffee. Free to Prayer Room. See Islamic Society. 'Real Sounds of Africa' in the Union. £2.50 members (membership £1.50). Malet Street. Traditional breathing Amnesty Meeting 5.30pm. (on the door), £2 (adv), £1 (Ents). meditation. Everyone welcome. No charge. QT Soc EGM 12.45pm. Brown Committee Room. Everyone ICCAG Soup Run 9.15pm. ICSO Rehearsal 7.00pm. S/Side Upper Lounge. Bye Bye, Howgate!! welcome. Weeks Hall Basement. See Imperial College New members always welcome. Great Hall. It's the last one, so be there. AcademspHggttMHnnn.&OOp/n, Community Action Group (ICCAG). Recitation of Holy Qur'an 1.00pm. UDH. A[*fjl |)[HJHJ Ijistry Audio Soc afternoon. 9 Prince's Gardens. See Islamic Society. should SflmPBB"^^^^^~ Union SCR. Cheap records & CDs, HELP NEEDED Golf Practice 5.30pm. Sherry Tasting 6.00pm. Crisis at Christmas is from Union Gym. See Golf Club. Union SCR. A tasting of fine sherries by a 23rd to 29th December but master of wine (MW). £2. THURSDAY Concert Band Rehearsal 5.45pm. help is needed before and Great Hall. Concert tomorrow-all players Judo 6.30pm. Meth Soc " '. 12.30pm. please. Union Gym. Next beginners' Huxley 413. Someone interesting will be after. For details and/or course-January. talking about something interesting. application forms see Films 7.00pm. ME220. ICSF/WellSoc/RCS Ents present: Film 7.00pm. AudioSoc 12.30pm. ALISTAIR GOODALL by 'Highlander' and 'Fright Night'. Mech Eng 220. 'Pink Floyd-The Wall'. Cheap records & CDs in the Union SCR. 12th November on 373 Specially beefed-up sound system for the Intermediate BaUroom... ~...7.0Qpm. ICYHA Meeting 12.30pm. 1736 (flat 6) or Computing occasion. 50p to members, £1 others. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. Southside Upper Lounge. 1.

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 13 Which Bright Students wili see the world with £1000 this year?

International Paint Travel Awards

If you are entering your final year in Autumn 1988 | as an undergraduate or postgraduate you are eligible for these awards.

More information and application form from the Careers office or write to: Richard Hirst Deadline: 15 January 1988 International Paint Stoneygate Lane K Internation^aint Felling, Gateshead Tyne&WearNE10 0JY Courtaulds Group TcFEy Rage

IRISH GREATER LONDON QT WINDSURFING Collecting Good times Freak Shaky start

The Greater London Club was started Two members of IC Windsurfing We are currently collecting names in this term with the intent of showing It is the dawn of time. Earth has just Club competed in this week's race in the hope that it will lead to the students how to have a good time in been created. A freak cosmic ray the Carlsberg Cooler series. This was formation of an Irish Society. The London without necessarily becoming bonds some atoms together which held at Datchet Water on Saturday general aim will be to bring together victims of the city's expense. We try spontaneously evolve into the Kama- 21st November. anyone with an interest in Ireland to maintain a balance between serious Sutra, the Chaircreature of what is After numerous detours including although our precise aims have been and not-so-serious events, and now now QT Soc. Comprehending the an unintentional circular tour of the left open. As such, we are open to have over 120 members. effect of its existence on humanity (on reservoir the club captain found the constructive suggestions. If you are The events we have lined up for the the off-chance that it too would come entrance and was rigged in time for interested in a traditional Irish rest of this term and the next include into being) it hid under a rock for the first race. Being faced with 132 barnight or something more a tour round the BBC TV Centre, millions of years, reproducing by competitors including some of the intellectual, please contact one of us visits to the City of London and a binary fission and watching furry, country's top semi-professional via the appropriate pigeonhole. national newspaper, and an evening banana-eating, tree-dwelling creatures sailors the two members got off to a shaky start, both lying between 25 and S Murray, ME I at a greyhound race meeting as well evolve into almost hairless, bipedal 30. The best three results from the D O'Kane, Physics I as several bands and cabaret/fringe animals whose idea of fun was getting day's four races were taken. Despite C Robinson, EE1 theatre venues. We are aiming at 2 pissed at parties. the light and variable wind, least Anna Marie Boston, Mat Sci I events per week until Easter, and Continued next week... always arrange for concessions and/or We meet at 1300 hrs every Tuesday favourable to the equipment used, CHINESE CHESS provide club subsidies. in Southside Upper Lounge or Club Captain Robert Kent finished 15th and Mark Gilanze finished We do not profess to know Belushi's depending on how hungry 31st—especially good considering he everything that is going on and I am. Everybody is welcome, Be was using unfamiliar kit. welcome suggestions from all our there!!! members. We have an informal Wanted FILM meeting every Friday at lpm in the KARATE Senior Common Room (above Chinese Chess Soc is looking to put Norman's) but can also be contacted together two teams of five or six via Phil Adams or Rob Conn (both players to play Go and Hsiangchi Chem Eng IV). Fighting spirit Brilliant against other London Colleges in the near future. We would like to hear AUDIO IC Film Society are showing Pink from players of all shapes, sizes and On Saturday 21st November the '17th Floyd—The Wall on Tuesday standards who would be interested in Portsmouth Invitation Karate December 1 (Mech Eng 220, 7pm). taking part in such matches. For more Tournament' was held at the Naturally the wattage will be details come along to a Club meeting Good deals Mountbatten Centre, Portsmouth. appropriately massive for this brilliant on Tuesday or Thursday lunchtime in There were 500-600 competitors, and film, and its even more brilliant Elec Eng 4036. IC was represented by a 13-strong soundtrack. If you're just about to buy a new hi- team, trained and coached by Ceasar Then, on Thursday December 3 fi system or records, or even Andrews (3rd Dan). Together the (Mech Eng 220, 7pm), we have our SF, WELLS, RCS EN fS computer hardware or software, come team won ten trophies. regular Inursaay film, FX—Murder and see Audio Soc first. The competition involved kumite by Illusion. A movie special-effects Firstly, Audio Soc can get you (sparring) and kata (fixed forms) and man is asked by the American police major discounts on a wide range of there were creditable performances all to fake a murder to protect a witness. Double bill equipment and music 'software', round. The ladies stole the day with He does so and is plungec into a web joods are generally ordered on Maiken Engelstad coming first in the of intrigue and violence. Highlander and Fright Night Tuesday lunchtimes and collected and kata competition with a spectacular 50p to members, £1 to others Monday 30th November, paid for the following Thursday execution of 'seienshin' and being (membership available on the door). 7pm, ME 220 lunchtime. asked to demonstrate her kata again We have here a vastiferous double- Secondly, all the Audio Soc after the finals. Kate Taylor came CONCERT BAND bill for your delight. First, the famous committee are hi-fi buffs and will third, and both ladies came joint third Highlander, concerning a group of gladly give you the benefit of their in the kurnite. In the men's kata men who would live forever if they knowledge and point you in the competition Paul Potter came a Free didn't insi >t n cutting each others' direction of a good hi-fi dealer. respectable third with 'sochin' and the heads off—but it's good because it's Finally we organise visits to and men's team (P Potter, Kenrick Sayers Don't miss another FREE lunchtime got Sean Connery in it. Then we show from some of these wonderful and Oday Abbosh) achieved fourth concert brought to you exclusively by Fright Night, the excellent film about manufacturers. We had a successful place. In the junior individual men's kind permission of the Mech Eng the teenager who is convinced his day out at Nairn Audio last week, and kumite Paul Urbonas and Michael Department. IC's greatest Concert beautiful neighbour is a vampire and have had FREE demonstrations from James came joint third. Recognition Band is performing for one lunchtime manages to persuade a TV horror famous British firms such as Linn, must be given to those who didn't only in the Mech Eng Foyer at lpm show presenter to go with him on a Wharfedale and Celestion. reach the final but fought strongly and on Tuesday December 1. with good spirit. The men's kumite terrifying journey—next door. Come and see us one Tuesday or The programme will be: team A reached the quarter-finals As usual, when the last person to Thursday lunchtime in the Union SCR Slava! —Leonard Bernstein where after a hard struggle they were turn up before 7pm is seated—we or UDH. Or come along to our next Ballad for Band—Gordon Jacob defeated. start! So don't be late. demonstration from loudspeaker An Ellington Portrait £1 to ICSF/WellSoc/RCS members maker KEF on Tuesday December 1 In closing I wish to thank all those —Duke Ellington (please bring ID) and £1.50 to the rest at 7.30pm in the Holland Club who took part for their dedication, Le Carnaval Romain of the world. Function Room. and Ceasar Andrews for his guidance. —Hector Berlioz

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 15 Rugby's Angels Lucky Linstead IC lsts—30 Linstead Hall—18 FOOTBALL Kent lsts—8 Tizard Hall-3 IC lsts rounded off their successful The after-match performance of the Linstead retained their 100% record goals in the second half, they were UAU campaign with their 5th straight team was a credit to the Club, with a devastating performance completely overshadowed by the 12 victory. Despite being 8-6 down at However, most of the boys were against Tizard Hall. The game was goals scored by Linstead. The best of half-time, due more to complacency shocked by the Kent team's sexist and evenly balanced until the second which was a superb effort by Richard than Kent's prowess. lC's pack, foul-mouthed behaviour in the bar minute when Linstead went ahead Harris, who, having received the ball produced a rousing second half after the game. This did not detract with a goal from Nick Tumman. The from the kick off, greedily ran display to keep Kent pinned in their too much from the team's enjoyment rest of the half saw Linstead do most through the opposition on his own to own half and without a scoring and indeed Canterbury proved to be of the attacking resulting in a further blast the ball past the keeper. This just chance. so attractive that a few members of 5 goals in their favour. about made up for his earlier misses Two pushover tries from the IC the squad managed to secure their Although Tizard rallied with 3 that had to be seen to be believed. pack only in the second half put the transfers to the Kent Club and game beyond doubt. 'Young' Rob declined the bus journey home. That Hargrove managed to score both of is on explanation. The other is that these tries. Unfortunately, however, Messrs T Brown, T Paul, R Dark Ship shape it looks like we may now lose his (non-member) and others services as he has been reduced to unaccounted for, fell madly in love Sailing riding a tricycle to rest his poor with 'something' in the pub. This week we sailed at the Welsh sailed to lst, 2nd and 3rd places, to ankles. On a more serious note IC now earn Harp against the University of Kent. lead the match 3-1 before the final Kent's performance was nothing if a well deserved rest from the UAU IC won the first race by gaining lst race. Kent decided that IC had faster not spirited but accurate place-kicking competition and can sit back to see and 2nd places, despite the boats, so after swapping one of the from the 'cool-headed' IC outside half who their opponents will be in the last Commodore's reluctance to join in. boats, the final race was sailed with made sure of a well deserved victory. 16. which takes place in late January. Kent came back to win race 2 to keep IC completing another whitewash, the match level before lunch. gaining lst, 2nd and 3rd places, to In the first race after lunch, IC win the match 4-1. Exciting Debutantes On Grass Winners ic iv-5 FOOTBALL FOOTBALL MORE FOOTBALL Westfield College—3 ball into the far side of the goal IC II—5 IC (lst team)—2 Fresher Derek Robinson's first goal through a crowded goal mouth, New College II—1 UC (lst team)—0 for IC came in a hat-trick as the IVs However, we were not yet done, With the IC team containing 6 The game was dominated by the twice came from behind to beat and struck again, with a half-volley players, either making their debut, or windy conditions preventing either Westfield College. from the edge of the box, and the having only played 1 game for the team from playing entertaining But his first goal was the one score stood at 3-2 with 20 minutes to 2nds, it may have looked a difficult football. IC started in a sluggish dividend of IC's complete dominance go. game on paper, to the ordinary fan. manner, giving UC a lot of time on of the first half. Derek taking Alan IC's spirit did not break, Eddie But, with an inspirational team talk the ball and letting them dominate the Sinclair's cross on his knee before McCann moving forward to help IC by captain for the day, Russ Dark, game. Gradually IC got back into the driving the ball past the advancing regain total control of midfield, and and the fact that we play on grass, game creating a few chances. A keeper. The best of the many other the forward runs of Talib Araim and caused IC to play like a team sloopy back pass from one of UC's chances fell to Sean Elliott, who shot Hides Tekano were much more possessed. After early pressure, defenders left Nigel Collier with just narrowly over after breaking through. threatening. The pressure paid off Graham Day was in the right place the goalie to beat which he did to put The IC defence held firm throughout with Derek completing his hat-trick at the right time, to give IC the lead. IC into the lead. and goalkeeper Mike Harper was .with two similar goals, slipping past New College put pressure on IC for IC continued to battle against the complaining of being cold at hesitant defenders and clinically the equaliser, but a hasty clearence elements in the second half. IC's half-time. finishing to turn the game. was headed through by Talib Araim, defence were having one of their best Things soon warmed up for him as Now Westfield were done and their who had the vision to see Guy Phiri games of the season not allowing UC we started the second half in a higher misery complete when a defender, running through. Guy doesn't miss to break through. gear and were rewarded with goals under a little pressure turned in a them, so IC went 2 goals up. Shortly In the 70th minute IC were awarded from a dubious penalty decision and cross after a piercing run from Mark after good work by Guy in the right, a penalty when Paul was brought an own goal by B**** D*****. Prior. the ball was crossed, and some how, down inside the box. Phil Ewart took IC were soon hitting back, Tony Tony and Sean made good debut Neil Vanden Begin converted a the penalty and scored only for the Goodwin's run and shot, in particular, performances and the defence deserve difficult volley, to put IC 3 up. referee to disallow it because someone coming very close, and, from a a special mention for thier solid work, The second half was going to be entered the penalty box before the ball corner, the Westfield defence failed but after writing this report, I can't tough, against the wind, and this was was kicked. Phil Ewart retook the to clear, and Sean Coolly placed the be bothered to make one. shown when New College got a goal penalty and scored. The final score back. However, IC's character was 2-0. It was IC's first clean sheet showed through, and shortly after, of the season. Judith says 'this is the worse paste-up Guy Phiri scored the goal of the she's ever seen' (Judith is 28). match. Having beaten two players on Editors comment: Thanks to the edge of the box, he cut inside, beat TRIBOLOGY DEPT Mech Eng; two more, rounded the keeper, and please can we have some hockey OTHER SOCCER RESULTS blasted IC into a 4-1 lead. Then, reports? Big Sue's coming home; and Kent II-1 IC III—2 Graham Day popped up again to Kiki says hello to Mr Brush. IC II-O Kent III—3 round off a fine IC display, keeping IC II at the top of the league.

16 Friday November 27th 1987 FELIX Sllill|||l?i:: Should Woadwunners C&G Success be fun Welay C&G Rugby have been playing in the break we changed up a gear as the Orienteering Cross-Country UAU as an IC 3rd XV this term. The opposition crumbled and a further 4 Last Sunday's event was at the Forest Last weekend saw us at the Warwick first part of the UAU was a league tries were scored. We ended the of Dean in Bristol. Despite rain on the Woadwunners Welay. The course competition in which C&G finished match with an injury to our vice- journey there and a torrential storm was a tight and fairly flat circuit of top of their league, not losing a game, captain Steve Holden with damaged the forest remained dry and orienteers 2.2 miles on the roads around the with wins over Surrey (4-18), Brunei ribs, he has been unable to play since. were able to complete their courses campus. A below par team did well (24-0) and Kent (12-16). Our third and final game in the in comparatively fast times. Men ran to finish 7th in a small field of 12 The first match against Surrey saw league was against Kent, this game the blue course with 350m of climb teams. The race was won by Leicester the loss of our scrum half Graig kicked off at 12.30pm, too early for and ladies the green course. When the only one second ahead of the team Allery with a broken wrist. The game some! After a period of prolonged results come through, positions within from Warwick. An enjoyable day started slowly with us taking most of pressure against Kent in the first half the Club will be able to be calculated nonetheless, made even more so by the first half to assert our authority, we scored 2 tries and then relaxed. for those competitive orienteers. the fact that Stuart finally got to use after which we stormed away to put At the beginning of the second half Next weekend there is a night event his umbrella! Thanks Stuart. 18 points on our opponents. our over-confident attitude allowed us on Saturday; followed by a badge Our next race is at Reading where Our second match was against to concede two very dubious tries, event in Nottingham and a colour- we take part in the White Knights Brunei, this game was played in this managed to motivate the team coded event in Ashridge on the Relays followed by the University of appalling weather conditions. In the into action again to reply by scoring Sunday. Anyone interested in coming London Championships at Alexandra first quarter of the game, we were twice in as many minutes. The game along should come to training on Palace. C'mon everyone let's have a kept behind our own 22 yard line, and ended with Kent squeezing in with a Thursday this week at 6.30pm in the good turnout for the UL champs all credit to the team for preventing last minute try. Union Foyer for an 'O' sprint around (especially the girls!). Brunei from scoring at this crucial My congratulations go out to all the College—should be fun! point in the game. When we finally C&G lst XV players, who have managed to make headway against the played well and made these results gale force wind, we scored two tries possible, taking us into the last 16 before half-time, and then after the teams in the UAU. Jonnie Rotten (Football!?)

It was Wednesday the 18th. Jonnie a kick-about, we amused ourselves by Ladies Foiled Again! Turner was feeling proud of himself. watching Bah dribbling with an Fencing He looked in the mirror and saw his imaginary ball for half an hour. Last Saturday saw the debut of the impressive since he was still rugged handsome features staring After wasting early chances, Bas ladies fencing team against Kings recovering from a heavy dose of back at him. Yes, he was certainly managed to put IC in the lead after College. It is the first time we've been cocktails from the Guilds Carnival. losing his hair, but then again, four 25 minutes. From then on IC just sat able to raise a ladies team for a few The most embarrassing incident of years of Mech Eng would do the same back and soaked up the pressure as years. We were very pleased with the the day saw one member of the ladies' to anyone. He picked up the newly flood after flood of attack was thrown results especially against Kings who team having to be prized out of her washed kit, re-checked his receding at them. (By the way, we were have always been very tough electric jacket by two fencers having hairline and headed towards Beit playing Charing Cross Hospital III). opponents. The results for the day are broken the zip. She then discovered Quad. Jonnie was ready to take the At right back, Mike was brilliant. as follows: that her body wire (which goes up one IC fifths to Wembley. Pete and Jon were great at the centre Ladies' Foil IC 4-5 Kings sleeve of the jacket and down the It was now 12.43pm and slowly the of defence and at left back Glen was Men's Sabre IC 3—6 Kings back) was broken. One bright spark team drifted towards the noticeboard. solid and often sensational. In goal, Men's Epee IC 9—0 Kings of a fancer decided to tie a second They always enjoyed their days out Steve just sort of floated around really Men's Foil IC 9-0 Kings body wire to the first and pull it in the country with Jonnie or doing pretty much nothing (no, he Everyone put up a really good fight through. Of course, it got stuck half 'Grandpa' as they had fondly didn't tip the penalty onto the bar) on both sides. Adam Sadler, who way! The next five minutes saw the nicknamed him. He would take them looking very lost. A solid midfield of recently achieved 4th place in the highly embarrassed lady in question on all sorts of trains, to places where Dave, Lee, Tan, and Ean (well, let's National U20 Epee Competition, won sorrounded by six eager lads all trying no man had been before, to meet face it, neither Tan nor Ean are very all his 6 fights for the foil and epee to rectify the situation. Needless to people who no man would want to solid at all), and a stupendous attack teams as did Peter Cripwell. Adam's say she still went on to fence a very have met before. But these days were of Bas and Bah, who between them performance was particularly good match! always full of fun because Grandpa had three shots on goal. Meanwhile Jonnie would always find himself in Steve was still wearing his newly trouble for one reason or another. washed green jersey (I don't know Today, Jonnie lent his rail card to why we bother, it's never muddy). Belle Vue Cycling Glen so that Glen could swindle 70p Two minutes before the end, the off his ticket (stingy git). What Jonnie cheats hand-balled the ball and Cycling produced a sound 32-minute run, for forgot was that Glen didn't look scored. So, we had penalties, as it was The annual Belle Vue C.C. cross- 32nd place in a strong field of 108 anything like Jonnie's photo. For a pitch dark. So dark, that we couldn't country running race for cyclists took finishers. Recent IC graduate Scott start Glen was not bald, did not have even see Bah, except when he smiled. place on Sunday in cold, windy Heyhow achieved a creditable 33-50 a six inch nose and most importantly Dave and Bas scored, quite clinically, conditions. The South London (43rd place) running for his new club, was not an old age pensioner! and at 2-2, Mike went up and just as Harriers' tough, hilly course always C.C. Woking. International triathlete Eventually Jonnie got slapped wrists clinically missed. Jonnie was crying. attracts a quality field of both cyclists Peter Moysey faild to start, and the and got his senior citizens' card back. The Harlem Globe Trotters then and triathletes. overall winner was ex-professional missed twice (no, Steve didn't even Heavy rainfall the previous night cyclist Pete Sanders with an 2.30pm. Cobham town (where?). touch the ball. They hit the bar quite made for extremely muddy astounding 26-51. The whole team felt like a right bunch easily without his help.) Glenn and conditions, and turned the event into of Richard Heads because we'd Forthcoming events include an Lee scored. We'd won 5-3. We were a severe test of strength and stamina. turned up at the match without a ball. eleven mile walking race and a on our way to Wembley. Sole IC entrant Andy Major 25-mile time-trial in December. So, whilst the other side were having

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 17 Letters J4j

would have had to have gone back to International Hall to get showered and change my clothes. Small Ads Flanning someone who has not personally been warned Indigestion by the flanners beforehand and given the opportunity to say no is unacceptable, and very selfish of the flanners who only think of the laugh they will get out of it, rather ANNOUNCEMENTS than the problems it might cause to the victim. Dear Judith, Wanted: Union van drivers for the Soup Just a quick note, having read the Handbook this year, I went to the C&G Union Office the following Friday Run. See Liz Warren, Chem Eng II. and also last week's copy of FELIX. An article on the to complain about this. Some people there, but not the Burnard Sunley House Christmas Fancy back page of the said FELIX, entitled 'Yummie!', goes president, were courteous and apologised about the Dress Party on Sat Dec 5th in Union Lounge, incident, although I disagree with their excuse for the on about Mr Jardine's new 'adventurous' menu, forgetting 7pm to 12 midnight. Disco, live band and late the fact that such food was on sale all summer, at my own flanning. The excuse was that as much publicity about the bar. Tickets £1 from Union Foyer, Mon to Fri suggestion and instigation. Rag Week was displayed as possible and that it was my lunchtimes 12.30pm to 1.30pm. The Handbook article about the Snack Bar reads like responsibility to find out about it. This excuse is as Deadline for retrieving belongings from the libretto of an oratorio, singing Mr Jardine's praises ridiculous and unacceptable as that of a motorist who says Linstead Hall is December 2nd. as if he were some kind of culinary god! he is not responsible for running down someone who was Whilst not berating Mr Jardine's efforts on the catering in his way, because he told the public beforehand that he Basement sale Linstead Hall, 5th/6th front, I do feel that the hard-working casual, temporary was not responsible for running down people who got in December, 2pm. Buy all the things you've always wanted. and full-time staff deserve to be given a few words of his way, and that it was up to the unfortunate person to praise now and again. find out about this. The people in the office said that it ACCOMMODATION The friendliness and usual promptitude of the service, would be too much effort to inform everyone, personally, as well as the laughs it affords to many customers, rather beforehand about the flanning. It is hardly any extra effort, 1 Male required for flat of 4 girls and 1 fella than the boring impersonal service available in other on the part of the flanners, to ask their victim before he in Fulham. £23 p/w (£33 without rebate). College outlets, is due exclusively to these staff, without is flanned whether or not he can cope with it. This might Washing machine phone, TV, etc. Phone 731 1753 (evenings) or contact A M Taylor, Mech whom the place would never survive and would be a lot save a lot of ill-feeling. Eng II. less interesting. So less about Mr Jardine and his pedestal The C&G Union president was very discourteous to me, and more about the dedicated staff, who are, after all, just saying 'I don't have time to talk to people like you.. .leave FOR SALE & WANTED students like you and are hopelessly underpaid. this office.. .turn your back around and walk through the Bicycle: Olympus, 5 gears, £30. Contact Yours sincerely, slit in the wall". He did not apologise for the incident. Amin Khataee, 5916, Materials. Pete Hartley, ex-Snack Bar casual, ex-Temporary His behaviour did not befit that of a union president. He Catering Supervisor, Union Barman, ICU. should be setting an example of courteous behaviour to Renault 12TS 1974. Tax and MOT, many all students. Is C&G Union becoming a fascist organisation new parts, very cheap and reliable Offers which will not hear people complaining, without being around £300. Contact Stephen on 969 8402 told to leave the office? What may be a joke for a person with healthy eyes may have a frightening effect on PERSONAL Selfish and someone who has already experienced encroaching Fun loving male seeks difficult problem blindness and is concerned about protecting his eyes. sheets. The harder the better. Apply Paul Yours, Murray, Flat 9, 81 Lexham. Igor N Dyson, Mech Eng I. Baa said Neil. No, this is how it's done, said stupid flanning Paul: Bleuuuuugh!! Kebabs are such wonderful things-even worth getting left in Kent for, eh Rob? Dear Judith, I write to protest about being flanned without warning, Do you like enjoying yourself? No? Well Paul on the Thursday of the Rag Week, just before going into Biased attitude is looking for company to do his work with an afternoon laboratory session and also about the him, apply Flat 9, 81 Lexham. Dear Judith, behaviour of the C&G Union president towards me the Keep your hankies at the read, Stu's following day. I was unaware that flanning was going on I am writing to point out what seems to be a rather sniffing. that week, and that one could buy one's way out of being curious statement by Bill Goodwin in his article 'Is FELIX Special offer: unused twelve pack for sale flanned, or get a protective badge if one wore contact biased?'. Earlier this week, Bill telephoned me and asked Too much, to be sure, to be sure, to be sure lenses. I don't know who paid for me to be flanned, or if Ian Howgate had been quoted out of context concerning who actually carried it out. the Freshers' Week entertainments. I told him that I was To all Guildspeople: Don't you wish you'd I fully support charity activities which do not involve not prepared to offer an opinion, but that he was welcome elected somebody else as President? to come and listen to the tapes. As far as I have been able the risk of someone being harmed but a person might be Levels 1,2,3,4,5,6,9,10,11,12 your time will unable to cope with being flanned for any number of to ascertain, he has not listened to any tapes at IC Radio, come reasons. He might have ear trouble for example, a friend and certainly not to the tapes that were broadcast, as only Hvftie etage-zut alors! of mine told me that if he were flanned, his nose would I know where these are kept. In the light of this, phrases bleed very badly, since it bleeds when under the slightest such as 'In fact, listening to the tape' seem rather peculiar. Ottavo piano-che cazzi! pressure. Fortunately, my eyes were not harmed by the The two tapes that made up the interview were broadcast Beware the banana spirit, he's after you! flanning, but for all I knew at the time, they could have in the first weeks of term, and have not been put out since. been. I had major surgery done on my eyes this year. I Without going into details of whether or not Ian was quoted Edna oh Edna, oh oh uhh Edna oh uh Edna always treat any substance which might come into contact out of context, it seems to me that a conscious effort has oh oh oh Ednaaaa... with the eyes with caution, just in case it causes irritations been made to show that FELIX is biased. Surely this shows For one month only at Edna's Sauna Club, which might hinder the recovery of my eyes. I wear plastic rather a biased attitude on the part of Bill Goodwin? Had wet kipper and baby oil rub down only £100. lens glasses which are very easily scratched. They are Bill contacted me in person, I would have been more than 12 burley firemen (I?) get the photos (or the delicate and expensive. The flanning could have meant happy to let him hear the broadcast tapes; all the News negs) from the RCS Office buying new glasses or repairing the present ones. For a Department interviews are kept, and anyone is free to short-sighted person, to have one's glasses smeared up come and listen to them after they have been broadcast. Is Cosmic a nancy boy? I hope that this letter will clear up any confusion that may is in itself a traumatic experience. Walking to a place to The caped Avenger would like to point out wash glasses might in itself be difficult. Also, if I had have arisen as a result of Bill's article. that he requires budget cape cleaning services, had to play in a concert that day, it would have been very Yours sincerely, although Bridget is quite welcome to come inconvenient having shaving cream all over my head. I Nigel Whitfield, News Editor, Imperial College Radio round. The Caped Avenger.

18 Friday November 27th 1987 FELIX homosexuality he took the least sympathetic and by tendentious misquotation made out the whole chaplaincy MC Enterprises present: 'Gift of the Gab' to be predjudiced against homosexuals. Anyone who read with new no added subtlety. the newsletter will know there is a range of views on this You don't want it said but we'll say it STOIC reply matter within the chaplaincy, and a vigorous debate going anyway. Money back under no circumstances! on while people make up their mind, and in some cases ICSF members in the end, there can be Dear Judith change their mind on the issue. only one. In last week's FELIX (Fri Nov 20) a letter appeared I happen not to agree with Dave Thomas that people who are homosexual can and should be converted to The Kurgen likes necking-love Connor, none too complementary about Dave Tyler. The manner in which it was written was due soley to the author, heterosexuality by the laying on of hands with prayer, but Would-be Highlanders-mind your heads. Charles Robin, and not to STOIC in general. For this he I do defend his right to express his sincere convictions Dai Williams: Your membership application apologises. as part of the debate without being subjected to is being considered pending review of your However, what follows is a statement endorsed by a misrepresentation and villification. residential status. The Penthouse Club committee meeting of STOIC. The Archbishop of Canterbury (one of the contributors Committee 1. At Friday lunchtime the only Guilds publicity in the to our newsletter) said 'the Church should listen carefully to what homosexuals are saying about long term stable What were you on last night, Mike? entire Union Building was outside the Arch, and consisted of four identical 'Carnival Today' posters stuck together. relationships.' I hope that people who are homosexual will Dear Girls, thanks for the lessons, Mike We feel that this lack of publicity is more to blame for also listen carefully to what the Church and the Chaplaincy Why did Mike have a cheesy grin all last any alledged low attendance at the Carnival than any as a whole is saying, and not take offence where week? Flat 129. broadcast made by STOIC. This lack of publicity is also understanding and acceptance are being offered. totally contrary to a statement that Mr Tyler made in a Yours sincerely, Fortify yourself-a tasting of fine sherries. If recorded interview with STOIC in which he said: 'You you thought that sherry finished with Bristol David Ashforth, College Chaplain. Cream, think again. 6pm, Union SCR, Tuesday. will not be able to move around College without knowing that the Guilds Carnival is on.' Sean's been jilted. 2. We would have been very willing to accommodate Rag Quiz scores: Nigel 15, Sean 19, Chas Guilds' requests regarding the time of our transmission 22, Colin 26, Laura 41!! had they approached us in a civilised manner. Respect & 1c Soup Run, super fun. Warra naff pun. 3. Mr Tyler threatened that damage would come to Basement, Weeks Hall, Thursday, 9.15pm, STOIC if our broadcast went ahead. Dear Judith, ICCAG. 4. Mr Tyler also threatened STOIC just before the start I was saddened to read Al's article in last week's FELIX of this term when due to a breakdown in our equipment because he had to resort to publicly vilifying me, my Rock Soc: Interested in any form of rock the Guilds' introductory video for Freshers was in danger beliefs and the chaplaincy when a more constructive music? Then come along to Southside Upper approach would have been to have written a constructive Lounge, Monday, lunchtime of not being completed. Mr Tyler said that he would see to it that STOIC received zero funding from the Union reply to Chi Rho disagreeing with my views. The basis WG-Thanks for the article Cheque's in the if his video was not delivered. of our country is freedom of speech and slagging-off post-IH. 5. We did in fact publicise very extensively the Guilds people for their views will decrease this freedom. We are Fashion boutique opening on Level 7. All Carnival on our Friday programme whilst it was actually all people to be loved and accepted as we are and then the latest dust bin liners in stock now. in progress, giving people information on its location and if necessary for change to occur depending upon our beliefs. New! Andy-proof vans, seat 4. Apply any content. Royal Ordnance Factory Tanks Division. 6. STOIC attempts to provide a service for the students I hope that from this brief episode of my article and of IC. A lot of work goes into our programmes, both Al's letter people will learn that the essence of society I know how to put one on myself, thank 'Newsbreak' and 'Into the Night', and we feel that the is to respect others' views whether or not one can agree you very much. Mike programmes are appreciated by the members of ICU. with them and that with issues such as homosexuality even Cosmic's a nancy boy! 7. We feel that students have a right to choose what more respect and love is needed and I am sorry that Al did not see this aspect of my article. I unreservedly It's difficult to do your piano marathon they want to do when they want to do it. Does Mr Tyler apologise for any offence caused by my article but still when your helpers are making love 2 feet then propose to limit the options presented to students? away! 8. STOIC members were harrassed when they attempted stand firm by the views expressed in it because I sincerely to gain access to the Union Building studio in preparation believe in them. I hope people who disagree with these The Caped Avenger wouldn't know what a for the 'Into the Night' broadcast. The lift was turned off, views can still respect them just as I sincerely respect the killer was if one murdered him. Mad Dan. and the stairs were blocked by tables and chairs, which views of homosexuals who believe their homosexuality This one's for John: Don't forget the Plants is surely a fire hazard? to be correct but don't agree with me and want to live rehearsal on Wednesday, love Kim. their lives as homosexuals. Does Mr Tyler have something against STOIC? He will Looking for that hunk of a woman? Trying get very willing co-operation regarding publicity and Yours sincerely, to find that wimpy guy? Let Andy fix it (!) for coverage of Guilds future events whenever possible, if Dave Thomas, Life Sci III. you. Free estimates given. the request is termed reasonably, and not as a threat. Laddered stockings? Let us fix you up ID, Charles Robin, STOIC Hon Sec. on Level 7. Luxurious surroundings. Guild's Carnival: Sorry! Transport home arranged for women. Can you miss it? Dear Judith, Misquotation I am sorry for 'pissing' on Broadsheet (FELIX 784). What's big and exciting? Guild's Carnival. I did not realise 'Bullsheet' (to use its less polite title) took Congratulations S&C. Lots of luv, M. Dear Judith, itself so seriously. I'll be honest. I love Broadsheet. With Don't forget to take the braces off in bed! Jesus Condones Adultery editorials from Smedders and side-splitting humour from In John's Gospel chapter 8, verse 10 Jesus says to a Wharfdale who couldn't? Wanted one braincell to replace one that woman taken in adultery, 'Neither do I condemn you, go It has been suggested that next time I wish to moan I was stolen over a week ago-2ndLtT and sin.' This remarkable reversal of the usually held view should Gestetner complaint sheets. But to gain access to Fashionable 2nd year Physicist requires one is achieved by the trick of incomplete quotation, the a Gestetner I'd have to be a hack thus defeating my rich and single 3rd year Physicist with a full complete verse reads: 'Neither do I condemn you, go and purpose, QED write to FELIX. set of EM lecture notes. sin no more.' The West London Chaplaincy's newsletter Yours apologetically and highly polyunsaturatedly Kissums kissums? Dvar yec min gart. got that kind of treatment from Al Roberts last week. From (great pun Dave), an issue which contained five articles on the morality of Simon Cholerton, Physics II

FELIX Friday November 27th 1987 19 continued from front page Gawd me nuts please, Money for improving this week. In a letter to Publications Board Chair Chris! Martin, Mr Tyler apologised for the old Rag removal of FELIX, but was adamant John! that he had been right to make a Last week's Rag Week raised a record protest. At the ICU Exec meeting on £10,840 for the five Rag charities. Wednesday, Mr Tyler proposed that Rag Chairman, Nigel Baker was 'well all the students involved, including chuffed' with the amount raised. He himself, should pay a fine. They have confidently expects last year's Rag agreed to give up time to collect for total to be exceeded by Christmas. Rag. Later, Miss Hackney received The Beer Festival raised the highest a large bunch of flowers from Mr individual total with £2,100 spent on Tyler. Unfortunately, this arrived beer and glasses, £800 on Rag Mags, after page 5 had gone to press (See £95 on Scout and Guide Burgers and Libel). £40 from Chap:, curries. Mr Tyler said yesterday: T feel it Chas Brereton's Piano Marathon achieved what was necessary, raised a provisional £1,500 and the although we all wish we had had an Hypnosis Lecture £960. Other totals alternative method of achieving it'. include the Guilds Slave Auction The last time FELIX was stolen (£610), Dirty Disco (£500), Smoking was in 1981, when nearly all copies Concert (£400), Carnival (£800) and of Steve Marshall's end of year issue Rag & Drag (£230). disappeared. The culprit was never brought to justice (but it was either the ICU President of the day, John The 'Godiva' Run, made by members of the RCSU Motor Club last Passmore, or a member of the weekend, raised around £350. IC on film Masons).

The first showing of the film Not Just Another University, made about the No more tenure for staff PG halls University of London, is to be shown on Saturday December 5 at 6.32pm on Channel Four. The film will Education Secretary Kenneth Baker universities in Great Britain. The Bill Postgraduate halls will be discussed include Imperial College. Make sure has announced in his Education provides for the establishment of a at Tuesday's UGM, following the you get your family to video it for Reform Bill that newly appointed Universities Funding Council (UFC) final meeting of the Union you. University staff will no longer be to replace the non-statutory Accommodation Committee last given tenure. This means that there University Grants Committee. The Tuesday. Postgrads in residence will will no longer be special protection UFC will have 15 members to be be asked whether they would have against dismissal on grounds of appointed by the Secretary of State. preferred to have a place in postgraduate only or mixed We have the redundancy or financial exigency. Six to nine members will come from The Bill provides that staff currently higher education and the remainder accommodation. The results will be in posts that have tenure will retain will come from other backgrounds. taken to an extraordinary meeting of it as long as they continue in their This special council will administer the Committee on Monday evening technology present appointments. This means that all funds provided by the Government prior to the UGM the next day. Another bit has fallen off the Print staff will lose tenure when they are for universities but the Secretary of Other subjects discussed at the Unit's printing press. Fortunately promoted and tenure will be phased State has the power to attach terms Committee included a new College Financial Advisor, a general survey 'Hector' Sullivan, who is currently of students and the temperature of reading Mechanical Engineering, was Linstead Hall showers. in the FELIX Office and was able to temporarily repair it. This house A ....coffee believes...

The third Union General Meeting of please Norm the Imperial College Union will take place next Tuesday in the JCR. Two Mates, the new range of condom, motions have already been submitted have gone on sale in Norman's.. n .ck Bar and the Union Office tf ..-k. out as quickly as possible. and conditions to the funds he for debate. One is to promote the He also announced that he wishes rovides. The UFC will, however, be rights of Palestinian students at the They come in "bur varieties anuardt, to establish new arrangements for independent of Government and have Bethlehem Univers;ty and the other ribbed, coirui id and strong. liiey are central government funding for the a powe: to appoint its own staff. is a motion on postgraduate halls. being sola at £1 for six.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB (Tel 01-589 5111 ext 3515). Editor: Judith Hackney. Business Manager: Chris Martin. Copyright FELIX 1987 ISSN 1040-0711.

20 Friday November 27th 1987 FELIX