Vol. CCLIII, Live Free! or Die No. 18 The New Hampshire Gazette First Class U.S. Postage Paid June 5, The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle Portsmouth, N.H., Permit No. 75 2009 PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com Address Service Requested

The Fortnightly Rant Worst Veep? Maybe Not As the nation observes the auditioning for Worst Vice Pres- 200th anniversary of the birth ident in American history. of Abraham Lincoln, our first While Cheney is clearly Republican president, the most among the strongest contenders, prominent representatives of his the competition is tougher than Grand Old Party are Michael one might think. Steele, the party’s chairman; In the firearms competition, Rush Limbaugh, a radio talk for example, Cheney comes out show host; and Richard “Still a poor second to Aaron Burr. Dick” Cheney, formerly the Vice While both men shot others, President, now a private citizen. Cheney merely winged his vic- Steele and Limbaugh both have tim accidentally, while somewhat ample talents for attracting pub- impaired due to liquid refresh- lic attention. Lately, though, Mr. ment. Burr, on the other hand, Cheney has been reaping the after Hamilton intentionally lion’s share of the headlines.* fired high, took deliberate aim This is odd for several reasons: with his dueling pistol and mor- his official duties ended nearly tally wounded Alexander Hamil- five months ago, his most popu- ton. That’s cold. lar official act was leaving of- Speaking of inebriation, was a kind of anti-Cheney. Ap- Greenhow, a Confederate spy, equivalent of a mass murderer fice, and much of his tenure was Cheney may have had a bit of a palled by the level of drunkeness may have given Gen. Pierre going down in history for speed- spent — like that of his bête noire buzz on when he shot his friend in the Senate, he changed the Beauregard the edge at the Battle ing tickets. Saddam Hussein — hiding in a Harry Whittington in the face, rules to prohibit the sale of liquor of Bull Run. The incident makes During the 1968 presiden- hole in the ground. but Daniel D. Tompkins, James in its restaurant. After losing the Cheney’s outing of Valerie Plame tial campaign, Richard Nixon’s Mr. Cheney has devoted most Monroe’s Vice President, was nomination for a second term, seem a minor faux pas. campaign pulled strings with the of his adult life to what he insists known to preside over the Sen- Hamlin reported for duty at Fort One of “Still Dick” Cheney’s South Vietnamese government on calling “public service.” His ate while thoroughly drunk. No McLary, in Kittery, fulfilling his chief rivals for the title of Worst to block peace talks in Paris. A alleged service began in 1969, contest. obligation as a private in the Vice President has to be John C. peace agreement might have put during the height of the Vietnam South Carolina’s John C. Cal- Maine Coast Guard by pulling Breckenridge. Another Kentuck- Hubert Humphrey in the White War — though not, of course, in houn (1825 — 1832) can actu- KP and guard duty from July to ian, he served under James Buch- House. Nixon’s ploy worked. Vietnam. At that time, he had ally give Cheney a run for his September of 1864. anan from March of 1857 until About half of America’s 58,159 “other priorities.” money in one of his strongest Andrew Johnson, who later March of 1861, when he began casualties in Vietnam occurred For the last eight years, Cheney categories: sheer moral repug- went on to become a bad presi- representing the Bluegrass State during his watch. That’s a hel- ran the office Finley Peter Dunne nance. Calhoun’s staunch defense dent, had an even worse start in the U.S. Senate. Later that lacious amount of blood to try once described as “not a crime of slavery, both as Vice President as Vice President. According to year, he became one of fourteen to wash off your hands. “Only” exactly … but … kind of a dis- and later in the Senate, can best most accounts, he was thorough- Senators expelled for supporting 4,308 Americans have died in grace … like writing anonymous be summed up by the title of a ly drunk when he took the oath. the Rebellion. Iraq — but of course Cheney’s letters,” in a way that made Tony speech he delivered: “Slavery a Not even Cheney’s harshest crit- He promptly committed trea- war is not over yet. Soprano’s operation look quaint. Positive Good.” ics would accuse him of that. son, becoming a Major General Now that we’ve been relieved of “Still Dick” Cheney has care- Schuyler Colfax, who served in the Confederate Army, lead- his governance, one might have fully nurtured a haughty disdain in the notoriously crooked Grant ing rebels in battle from Shiloh hoped — or fervently wished, for public opinion, but compared administration, may be Cheney’s in early 1862 to Saltville, late in or feverishly prayed — that he to Richard Mentor Johnson, strongest competitor when it 1864. Early in 1865 he became would retreat to some obscure Vice President under Martin comes to good old-fashioned the Confederacy’s fifth and final burrow in Wyoming, shut his Van Buren, he’s a rank amateur. graft and corruption. Colfax lost Secretary of War. On Decem- droning pie-hole, and leave the At his old Kentucky home, John- his office for accepting shares of ber 7, 1863, The New York Times world in peace. Instead, he con- son lived openly with his com- stock in railroads which had re- published a premature obitu- Chez Cheney tinues to force toxic advice on his mon law wife Julia Chinn, an ceived public money from Con- ary of Breckenridge, saying, “of victims. octoroon slave he inherited from gress. His role in the Crédit Mo- all the accursed traitors of the Like many another crank be- Perhaps we’re just suffering a his father. bilier scandal pales, though, next land there has been none more fore him, Cheney is “writing out relapse of the Cheney Derange- Millard Fillmore, on the other to Cheney’s Halliburton. heinously false than he — none his thoughts longhand in an of- ment Syndrome, but when the hand, presents no challenge to Colfax’s replacement was whose memory will live in darker fice above his garage,” according former Vice President launched Cheney at all. On April 17, 1850, Henry Wilson, a Farmington, ignominy.” to the May 22 New York Times. his attack on Barack Obama’s as Fillmore was presiding over New Hampshire, native. Wilson, The editors of the Times, of “A person familiar with discus- Guantanamo policies from be- the Senate, Henry Foote (D-MI) it was later revealed, had also ac- course, had no way of knowing sions Mr. Cheney has had with hind a podium at the American pulled a pistol on Thomas Hart cepted some railroad shares, but that one day Richard Milhous publishers said he was seeking Enterprise Institute on May 21, Benton (D-MO). Fillmore in- a Congressional investigation Nixon would lurch from the more than $2 million for his ad- we thought for a moment he was terceded, and had Foote’s pistol managed to clear him of wrong- Vice Presidency into the Oval vance.” Estimates of Cheney’s * The former President, meanwhile, was last locked in a drawer — clearly a doing. The stock kerfuffle was Office. Richard Nixon will be worth range from $60 to $100 heard from telling schoolchildren in Artesia, Democrat in Whig’s clothing. minor, though, compared to the forever associated in the public million. He can’t be doing it for New Mexico (population 10,692) that he’s content to be picking up that which his dog Abraham Lincoln’s first Vice possibility that Wilson’s close mind with the Watergate break- the money. Barney drops on his neighbor’s lawn. President, Hannibal Hamlin, friendship with Rose O’Neal in and cover-up. That’s the moral It must be for the infamy.

News Briefs: ately honor the circumstances work has appeared here before, final analysis, the best way to re- — whether they be honorable has been elected President of member both is to abolish this Memorial Day, 2009 or not — which demanded their Veterans for Peace. In honor of scourge of humanity.” Lest We Disremember program honoring those among sacrifice. Memorial Day, we pass along Veterans for Peace National It is an American traditional to our war dead who have already One need not delve into the these thoughts from him: Executive Director Michael T. set aside one day out of 365 — been recognized with the Medal distant past to find a time when “Veterans for Peace is here to McPhearson adds, “As veterans or a part of it — to acknowledge of Honor. And it was altogether our national leaders traded on the tell the nation that the number this day holds special meaning our debt to those whose lives fitting and proper that they did. reverence we rightly feel for those of innocent civilians who die in for us. Many of our members were taken so that we could go We have come to wonder, who would give their lives for us, war far outnumbers the combat- have seen their buddies die in on being who we are. though, whether heaping more only to use it against us, stifling ants. It would be immoral to only battle and we all know that only This year, on the eve of Memo- honor on those already con- widespread dissent against a war remember those who fought and rial Day, the only public televi- spicuously honored might not that need not have been fought. died in war and not pay respect News Briefs sion network we have broadcast a inadvertantly and inappropri- Our friend Mike Ferner, whose to those who are victims. In the to page two Page 2 - The New Hampshire Gazette - June 5, 2009

newspaper. Now that Bush is out today.az — your source for “All of office you have no one to at- News From Azerbaijan” — the tack. You don’t dare mention that current Chairman of the New Obama is keeping Bush’s military Hampshire Republican Party, operations in place and escalating John H. “Smartest Guy on the the war in Afghanistan after he Planet” Sununu, was in Gadabay, went into office and found that Azerbaijan on May 27, attending the intelligence reports required the inauguration ceremony of such actions. Change your motto a new gold and copper refinery to ‘No Balls.’ ” owned by Anglo Asian Mining We’re almost done with poli- PLC, of which he is a non-ex- tics here, we promise. After all, ecutive director. (We’re indebted therer is more to life than sturm to BlueHampshire.com for the und drang. But this next item is tip.) No doubt the highlight of too good to pass up. the ceremony was the speech by Sununu News Ilham Heydar oglu Aliyev, the Any list of Republican bigwigs President of Azerbaijan. who failed to attend Mr. Kim- By an odd coincidence, Mr. ball’s gathering would have to be Aliyev’s father Heydar was presi- a long one. (What’s the matter, dent before him. As elections News Briefs ing to an article by Geoff Cun- member. don’t they support our troops?) scheduled for October 2003 ap- from page one ningham Jr., in the May 21 issue “Vote for people who believe Included on it would be our for- proached, though, Heydar was in of Foster’s Daily Democrat. in our Republic,” Kimball says, mer Senator John E. Sununu and ill health. Naturally, he appointed luck or grace allows us to be here The city’s Memorial Day Pa- “and who reject this new concept his father, the former Governor. his son Ilham as his party’s sole today to remember the dead. We rade, conducted by the Central of the United States of Europe. We have no idea why young John candidate. Ilham went on to a also know our actions are re- Veterans Council, went off with- We’re the greatest country on E. wasn’t at the party, but it looks resounding victory, getting more sponsible for the enormous loss out a hitch earlier in the day, as the planet, and I for one am not like Pappy had a good excuse. than 75 percent of the votes cast. of life of innocent people simply did four or five other traditional going to hand it over to this ad- According to a report on www. Sadly, the triumphal event was trying to live their lives, who for remembrances. But Mr. Kim- ministration so he can recreate in no fault of their own were caught ball and his associates, includ- his image and likeness. Will you in the middle of madness. We ing Manchester Mayor Frank stand with me? Will you stand are haunted by their deaths and Guinta, who has announced his with me?” stand in respectful silence to re- intention to run against Rep. Along with the clip, we ran member them, those of us who Carol Shea-Porter for Congress this observation: did not live to be veterans and next year, appeared to think that “We could be wrong about this those veterans who are no longer more was needed. — Mr. Kimball will no doubt with us. We demand our govern- The organizers of the April 15 think so — but it appeared to ment and all the governments of Tea Party Rally managed to get us that his Rally wasn’t so much the world end this human made around the city’s “no amplifica- about Honoring the Fallen, plague called war. There is a bet- tion” rule for assemblies in front which was obviously being well ter way.” of the North Church by simply taken care of through more tra- Rally ’Round the Right showing up with the equipment ditional means, as it was about A different perspective on Me- and plugging it in. Mr. Kimball trying to build a political orga- morial Day was in evidence in followed up by essentially dar- nization to dissent against a duly Market Square between 5:30 and ing the city not to let him do the elected President. And Kimball 7:45 p.m. May 25. same. One can’t help but wonder is not alone in his determination Jack Kimball, the proprietor of what might have happened if a to misinterpret events. Former Great Bay Facility Services, Inc. “Free Speech for Muslims” orga- Vice President Dick Cheney, on the Route 1 Bypass and the nization had tried what the Tea whose record of being wrong organizer of Granite State Pa- Partyers did, and a “Legalize Pot” is unmatched, would no doubt triots (see GraniteStatePatriots. group tried Kimball’s trick. agree with Kimball.” org) conducted a rally “designed Our website has a brief video A visitor to the site, known to to honor the ‘fallen heroes’ from clip of Mr. Kimball address- us only as “Pruaba,” responded all of the military branches, with ing the crowd at the end of the with this: Market Square was the site of another amplified political rally on Memo- political speeches also being part event, at http://www.nhgazette. “This is such a sad little web- rial Day. This one was organized by Jack Kimball, the founder of Granite of the evening’s agenda,” accord- com/2009/05/26/lest-we-disre- site just as you have a sad little State Patriots. See the item at left, “Rally ‘Round the Right.”

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New Hampshire, Meet Your American Defenders by Erik Swanson wars going on. And America could really use some young able- Like baseball? Like our troops? bodied men to fight those wars. Like the flag? Well, you are going Ironically, most of the players on to love Nashua’s Can-Am league the American Defenders’ ros- baseball affiliate: The American ter have specifically chosen not Defenders of New Hampshire. to defend America. They would Yes, that’s their actual name: rather play baseball. How do you The American Defenders of New think they feel during the night- Hampshire. ly 9:11 “moment of reflection?” They wear desert camouflage Guilty? Embarrassed? Do they uniforms. Their hats and jerseys avert their eyes when real soldiers read, “USA.” The “S” forms a yel- look at them? low ribbon. Tickets cost $9.11 While I would never begrudge each. They even pause each game anyone’s choice to avoid fighting at 9:11 p.m. for a “moment of re- a war, wouldn’t it kind of sting if flection.” I’m not even kidding. you just got your stop-loss let- Why? Why would anyone ter? If you just got word that you want to militarize minor league had to go back to Iraq for your baseball? The American Defend- third, fourth, or fifth tour, and ers are the brainchild of you went to a baseball Retired Navy Lt. Com- game to cheer yourself mander Terry Allvord. up, and the team on the For the past several field was wearingcamou - years, Allvord has been flage uniforms with USA putting together barn- on the front and a yel- storming teams of mili- low ribbon for the “S?” marred by massive protests. Or- election excitement had quieted Seacoast Local Festival tary all-stars. As he puts A Defender Would you enjoy watch- der was re-established through down — and after Aliyev was Tomorrow! it, “the goal is to promote Catcher In ing these healthy young the usual means; i.e., the beating elected chairman of the ruling The fourth annual Seacoast awareness and support men who choose not to and/or imprisonment of hun- party in violation of the relevant Local Festival will be held tomor- for our troops and as- Camouflage serve? Would you feel, dreds of protestors and members election laws — he was George row, June 6, in the Bridge Street sist military or civilian you know, “supported?” of the opposition. W. Bush’s guest at the White Parking Lot at the intersection American Defenders after they It gets even more absurd In the spring of 2006, after the House. of Congress and Islington streets, have completed their service to when you consider the opposing across from the Portsmouth Dis- return to college or pursue a pro- teams. Are they anti-American? covery Center. Twenty-six non- fessional career.” How can the Brockton Rox or profits that benefit the commu- That makes sense, even if it’s Worcester Tornadoes claim to nity in a myriad of ways will be a bit jingoistic for my taste. The support the troops when they’re on hand. There will be games, live problem is that the military all- pummeling Defenders’ pitching? performances by local artists, a star concept doesn’t translate to Wouldn’t it be more patriotic to digital photo exhibit, and a com- a regular minor league baseball forfeit? Or at least surrender? munity art project. team. The American Defenders The American Defenders of Piscataqua Waterfront of New Hampshire baseball club New Hampshire are not Amer- Festival Tomorrow, Too! is not made up of former Ameri- ica’s Defenders. The real Ameri- Ever notice how sometimes can soldiers. While a couple of can Defenders are the men and everything wants to happen all the guys on the team are call-ups women who are in Iraq and Af- at the same time? We’d bet if the from the military all-stars, the ghanistan, fighting for their lives. winters were only half as long, vast majority of the players have They’re the people who keep get- that would only happen half as never worn a military uniform. A ting called to serve, again and The City of Portsmouth honored the nation’s losses in battle with a parade much. Be that as it may, tomor- few of them aren’t even Ameri- again, while the American De- on Memorial Day, Monday, May 25. For reasons we cannot explain, the can! fenders of New Hampshire hap- parade included at least ten motorcycles, the majority of which were ac- News Briefs Why does that matter? Well, pily play baseball in the summer tively violating the city’s noise ordinance. to page four you know, there are a couple of sun, pretending to be patriots. Page 4 - The New Hampshire Gazette - June 5, 2009

Northcountry Chronicle The Surplus Population by William Marvel England between the world wars room with gas lighting, which he ers, so those planters could easily imposed the same demands on surpassed anything endured by modifies to end his suffering. Al- pressure their laborers to accept American families as the wage- ometime last fall The New Kerouac and his dharma bums, though Sister Carrie was fiction, wages well below the level of slavery of 1865, forcing most Yorker ran a story about the or by Jack London. The noun and the middle-class Hurstwood subsistence. That forced every members of most families into literaryS debt Jack Kerouac owed version of “tramp” itself seems to created his own predicament, his family member to go into the the labor market, and that profu- to Jack London. London, who have originated with the Brits, fate reflected a real and common fields, and it kept any rebellious sion of workers further depresses spent eight months as a vaga- who insisted that their homeless fate for the human dross of in- freedmen in check. wages, creating a cycle of bare bond, published a book about citizens remain constantly peri- dustrialization. I ran up against the vestige of subsistence. An economic down- those experiences early in the patetic. Each county provided Notwithstanding the romance those statutory substitutes for turn therefore inevitably spawns 20th century, calling it The Road. spartan shelters for indigent associated with the roving life, slavery twice during my youth. hordes of homeless, car-less, and Fifty years later, Kerouac’s first wayfarers, but they were allowed society has never trusted the At the age of 16 I took an unau- penniless proletarians, many of account of his own experience only one night per month in any unemployed wanderer. A home, thorized vacation from parental whom turn up on park benches. as a vagrant appeared as On The one of those holes, on pain of a job, and the attendant respon- control that landed me and an They wander up this way, too, in Road. Literary theft was prob- ten days’ imprisonment if they sibilities serve to control the in- accomplice in jail as “tramps,” cultural descent from Frost’s mud- ably no big deal to Kerouac, who were found in the same bailiwick dividual — not to mention the or nonresident vagrants, but time tramps, except that the jobs seems to have been a lifelong again within that month. individual passions. Merciless va- the charge seems to have been they might seek are already taken moocher. Theodore Dreiser preceded all grancy laws followed the decline merely an excuse to hold us for by imported workers. I think I saw Another book about life as three of these authors, depict- of feudal systems in Europe, and parental pickup — and, in my such a wanderer the other day, a tramp appeared midway be- ing a more desperate form of the most conspicuous American case, for paternal retribution. A resting on an embankment with tween the London and Kerouac penury in his 1900 novel Sister prohibitions against the job- year later, though, around mid- an old canvas backpack beside memoirs. Eric Blair later became Carrie. George Hurstwood, who less appeared with the abolition July of 1967, a nasty and appar- him and a crimson complexion famous under the pen name of embezzles money and abandons of slavery. Southern states with ently dishonest cop in Ludowici, that betrayed either too much sun George Orwell, and he may have his home to elope with the title large populations of freed slaves Georgia, offered me the more or too much alcohol. He might invented that pseudonym be- character, ends up alone and imposed jail terms for those who serious alternative of a $10 “fine” have been the new Jack London cause of the seamier personal ex- broke on the streets of New York could not show “a visible means for hitchhiking or a ride to jail or Jack Kerouac, envisioning liter- periences he described in Down in the Gay Nineties. He endures of support” in the form of a labor for vagrancy. The lesson of that ary renown from the shade along And Out In Paris and London. slow starvation, frostbite, and contract. Jailed vagrants worked shakedown was that you had bet- Hitching Post Hill, or more likely Orwell’s account of the suf- abject humiliation before finally for nothing under county con- ter keep moving, boy. another George Hurstwood, pon- ferings of tramps in France and begging enough money to rent a tract with local plantation own- In recent decades inflation has dering his next meal.

More News Briefs an heirloom plant sale, and nu- the New Hampshire Humanities & Mash Notes department, ciation, among others. It put out from page three merous hands-on activities; and Council. Marjorie Gallace brought up the horror stories equating universal up to the newly-opened Moffatt- Ride Them Rails! apparently perennial problem health care with Communism. row is also the day for the Pis- Ladd Warehouse — one of only Kathi Kishkorn at the Maine of Members of Congress taking The AMA is now a shadow of cataqua Waterfront Festival, a a few 18th century commercial Narrow Gauge Railroad Co. & great pains to assure that those its former self. A majority of vot- joint production of the Moffatt- buildings to survive in the whole Museum at 58 Fore Street in most important to them — the ers and physicians favor a single- Ladd House and the non-profit Seacoast region. Portland informs us that daily corporate interests that fund their payer system. The voters elect Gundalow Company. This event is being made pos- train operations have begun. An- re-election campaigns — are not a Democratic Congress and a This event will run from 1:00 sible by the generous support of tique trains depart on the hour unduly embarrassed or, heaven Democratic president. And what to 4:45 p.m., and sprawl from the Piscataqua Savings Bank. It from the museum for tours of forfend, deprived of their right to do we get? the Ceres St. dock, where visitors will conclude with a free concert Casco Bay. According to their make boatloads of money off the We get a plan to make sure may tour the gundalow Captain by Jeff Warner in the Moffatt- website, some excursions are suffering of us mere voters. that the important patient — the Edward H. Adams; along Ceres Ladd Warehouse, beginning steam-powered! Call (207) 828- Harry Truman tried to estab- health insurance racket — stays Street, where an array of booths at 5:00 p.m. Jeff ’s program, 0814 for details. lish universal health care sixty healthy. will feature music, traditional “Songs of Old New Hampshire,” Subscriptions, Survival, &c. years ago. He was thwarted by The same pattern of govern- maritime artisan demonstrations, is funded through a grant from In this fortnight’s Hate Mail the American Medical Asso- mental failure to respond to

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Moving Pictures Up by Rodman Philbrick by grownups who happen to have Enter Russell, age nine, proud Ten minutes into Up, you’ll vivid memories of what it’s like Wilderness Scout looking to as- believe that Russell and Mr. Director: Peter Docter, Bob to be nine years old, and to view sist the elderly in exchange for a Fredricksen are not only real if Peterson; Screenplay: Bob Pe- life in those precious few years merit badge. The boy can barely somewhat odd looking people, terson; Voices of: Edward As- before ironic detachment sets in stand upright, given the weight but that they could easily live ner, Jordan Nagai, Christopher like adolescent acne, scarring the of his over-loaded backpack, down the street. And when Mr. Plummer, Delroy Lindo; Ani- post-modern soul. but he’s determined to get that Fredricksen, a retired vendor of mation by: Pixar Studios; Rat- The story opens with a brilliant badge because this time his dad balloons, uses a few thousand of ing: [PG] depiction of Carl Fredricksen’s might actually show up to pin it them to lift his little house from hind them as if it’s weighted with childhood in the 1930’s. We see on his chest. Russell has courage its foundations, and set off on the memories of a lifetime (as in- ast year, Wall-E set the new young Carl entranced by visions of and fortitude, and a very gener- the last (and first) great adven- deed it is), Mr. Fredricksen and standard for computer-gen- intrepid explorer Charles Muntz, ous heart, but he’s totally lacking ture of his life, you’ll be happy his credulous young companion Lerated animation, envisioning a as shown in the movie newsreels in guile. Which is exactly what to be along for the ride. Happier, head for the fabled Paradise Falls, future when the human race is of the day. Exposed as a fraud, makes him the most convinc- perhaps, than poor little Russell, and into the adventure of two no longer present on the barren Muntz is last seen aboard his ing kid to hit the big screen in who blunders along by mistake, lifetimes. They will be helped and wastelands of Earth. This yearUp giant explorer’s zeppelin, head- many years, despite (and possi- and who slowly worms his way hindered along the way by Dug, is about to float into the public ing for South America, vowing bly because of ) the fact that he’s into the regard of his elderly the doggiest dog ever to sport a consciousness as a message from to clear his name. Young Carl is animated. He’s about as far from guide by being, well, a real kid. talking collar, Kevin the rarest your own very personal future — determined to follow in the great the snarky, all-knowing, eye- The kind of kid who won’t hate of flightless birds, a pack of very the one where you’re a lonely old man’s footsteps, but life somehow rolling kids of sitcoms as is (very) you even though you meanly sent scary pit bulls trained to run down man, raging against the world, intervenes. Life in the person of humanly possible. Director Pete him on a snipe hunt, just to be intruders (or squirrels, whichever lost in a thousand regrets for a gap-toothed girl named Ellie, Docter had a moment of pure ge- rid of him. come first) and by the nefarious, what might have been, ready for who invites him into her own nius when he cast eight-year-old When his floating house (hey, totally unreliable Charles Muntz an exit that will lift you up and personal explorer’s club by pin- Jordan Nagai to voice the char- the whole thing isn’t that much himself. Who looks suspiciously out of your misery. ning a grape soda bottle cap to acter of Russell. Nagai is totally bigger than those real life lawn like a silver haired Kirk Douglas, If you don’t think that sounds his heart. It’s love at first sight, a there, speaking without artifice, chair contraptions that have even as he speaks with the silken like a premise for a children’s fulsome, self-sustaining love that and it comes through in every flown to such amazing heights) voice of Christopher Plummer, cartoon — no fairy princess, no carries Carl through most of the beautifully written scene. As to gets driven south by a powerful inflating his own hovering diri- cute mermaid — you’d be cor- years of his life, only to dump the amazing skills of the anima- weather system, Mr. Fredricksen gible with pure, unrestrained ego. rect. Kids are gonna love Up, him suddenly and unceremoni- tors, Russell’s moonlike face reg- finds himself deep in the same Peril ahead. Thrills guaranteed. but that’s because they probably ously on the doorstep of cranky isters subtleties of emotion very South American jungle where Animation that will blow your won’t twig to the fact that this is old age, a widower marking time few child actors (let alone adults) his hero went missing all those little mind. an adult film, written for adults even as he vents spleen. can project on camera. years ago. Towing the house be- All aboard? Going Up. constituents’ interests, while ca- “Everybody knows” their generous support, that a p Important Literary Event P tering assiduously to corporate — Leonard Cohen, Everybody larger task may await us if we can Mike Dater’s interests, is so common that to Knows run this rig in a more organized much anticipated merely bring it up is to solicit the The corporate media are the and effective way. The Sun Also Sets response, “Well, duh.” club the powerful have been us- Bill C., “over in Dover” spon- “Everybody knows that the dice ing to keep us confused and di- taneously hit on the idea of dou- Vol. 2, The Last Gasp Years are loaded vided. What has been missing is bling the rate on his Supporting The sequel to the much-ballyhooed “Everybody rolls with their fin- any kind of effective antidote. Subscription. Bob Nilson topped George W, The Son King gers crossed Is there any reason why a non- that by paying in arrears for all written by The Gazette’s very own inhouse scribe, doodler and “Everybody knows that the war corporate media could not be the years he’s been reading the all-around mischief-maker is over that antidote? Is there any chance paper. That’s gratifying as all hell, Now available “Everybody knows the good guys anything else could be? Nobody and more than a little humbling. in Portsmouth at: lost knows — and we we never will If other readers keep that up, RiverRun Books “Everybody knows the fight was know unless and until we try. we’ll have to try to earn it. South Street & Vine The Levy Art Gallery fixed We continue to take great plea- That box at the lower right “The poor stay poor, the rich get sure in cranking out our cranky corner of this page is your ticket and via the Intertubes at: rich little paper. But a couple of peo- to test us. Go ahead — put us to www.MikeDater.com. “That’s how it goes ple have reminded us, through the test. $11.95 (both volumes as a set, $24)

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Mash Notes, Hate Mail, enlist in the Army, and rose from After Algiers, the war took private to captain during the war. Gale first to the island of Sar- Later in life he was a strong sup- dinia and then to the south of porter of Sen. Joseph McCarthy (R- France. He never revealed his in- WI). According to Wikipedia, his jury or sought the Purple Heart “association with the Ku Klux Klan as a result of being disabled in also cost him support in liberal Re- action. publican circles.” Now, in the twilight years of his Baxter had raised the money life, Gale at last applied for the for the monument, and had checks Purple Heart as a memento for The Lie of a made out to Paeff, but placed them his family members. All his ef- Democratic Congress in a state safe. Brewster, who took forts to cut through government To the Editor: office two months after the 1924 red tape came to nothing. At last, This month local newspapers dedication, balked at paying. Gale turned to Congresswoman reported a man from South “Sacrifices of War,” a bronze bas-relief sculture by Bashka Paeff, and the The November, 1924 Union arti- Carol Shea-Porter. Shea-Porter Thomaston had been arrested at heart of the Maine Sailors and Soldiers Memorial in John Paul Jones Park. cle describes a completed monument. worked through government a Senate hearing in Washing- See the letter, “Our Mysterious Memorial” for more about this controver- It explicitly refers to “a “bronze bas channels to verify his eligibility ton, for protesting against drug sial sculture. relief, nine feet high and 11 feet in for the award, and presented it to and insurance company lobbyists length. The monument on which it him on April 6. “She was won- being invited to speak but not Kittery’s Moving and Will: reposes is of blue-white granite.” derful,” said Gale’s daughter, Pat people who favor a single-payer Intriguing War Memorial Thanks very much for sending a Yet an article from the Ports- LeBlanc. health care system. While cheer- To the Editor: Xerox© of that article. The Kittery mouth Herald, posted on Dennis Gale doesn’t consider himself ing him for daring to speak out I just found an old newspa- Memorial and the Vietnam Veter- Robinson’s SeacoastNH.com and to be a hero. “I am nothing,” he and booing chairman Max Bau- per, The Manchester Union (Nov. ans Memorial in Washington, DC, dated August 25, 1925, says “a said. His attitude is typical of our cus for trying to muzzle debate, I 12/1924) that contained a short are probably the most powerful war month or two ago [Paeff ] finally military members. They put their was also reminded of a Decem- article on the dedication of the memorials in the country. The more completed the clay model from lives on the line for the rest of us, ber 2007 hearing in the House of Sailors and Soldiers Memorial in we learn about it, the better we which the bronze was to be cast.” yet consider themselves nothing Representatives. Kittery, just north of the Memo- honor the men who died in the War And the Maine Department of special for having done so. Thank Its chairman Thomas Lantos rial Bridge. to End All Wars. Conservation says the sculpture you, John Gale for having served had invited two touts for Israel to The headline reads: “Maine The detail of Bashka Paeff ’s was installed in 1926. your nation so well. speak but refused people who had Dignitaries Meet to Dedicate bronze bas-relief in the photo above The pieces don’t add up. We’ll try Bob Bridgham just been to Palestine and could State Memorial to Dead World shows a woman cradling an infant, to get to the bottom of it. But at this State Rep., Carroll #2 tell what they had seen firsthand. War Heroes.” The subtitle read: and observing in horror as a line of point, we’re wondering whether Eaton, NH The Lantos hearing was set up so “Thousands Present At New men march into battle. Though not the original, dedicated by Baxter, 4 David Wurmser could rant about Bridge In Kittery As Governor seen here, at her feet flanking her, was removed and replaced with What a Great Newspaper making the world safe for Israel Denounces War and Terms Tab- are the upper torsos of two dead a modified design more suitable to To the Editor: by attacking Iran, and Dennis let Protest Against It.” men. It is strange indeed that any Brewster. I live in Gila County Arizona Ross chant to absolve Israel in “Governor Baxter declared the sitting governor would — or could The Editor where the motto is “Leave your its grinding occupation of Pales- memorial, not for the glorifica- — preside over the dedication of 4 civil and constitutional rights at tine. Hearings that hear only one tion of war but in protest against such a graphic denunciation of war. Better Late Than Never the county line … human rights side prove it’s a lie that there’s a war. He said that war in the future But the story becomes stranger still. To the Editor: to follow.” The local Sheriff keeps democratic Congress. is less probable, and that even the Other contemporary articles about I was touched by a recent news- getting re-elected, just barely, Marjorie Gallace profiteers would hesitate again the monument describe a conflict paper article about World War II and brags about his ability to Camden, ME before plunging the world into between two Maine governors over veteran, John Gale. Gale, 93 years munipulate or ignore the law at Marjorie: its horror. He said the old-time the details of the sculpture. Baxter’s old, is a former resident of Plais- his discretion. His deputies are Until we somehow achieve effec- chivalry had departed from war remarks, as quoted in your letter tow who now lives in a senior liv- constantly falsifying arrest re- tive campaign finance reform, and and that now it is cruel and un- and in the Manchester Union arti- ing center. During an air attack cords, illegal stops, searches and develop effective news media that necessary.” cle, make it clear he was unequivo- on his gun position in Algiers, he such and these repeat offenders aren’t afraid to confront these and Peace, cally opposed to war. His successor, suffered a loss of hearing. While often don’t even get a slap on the other contradictions built into our Will Thomas Owen Brewster, was Baxter’s an- he might have used the problem wrist. system, we’re doomed to more of the Auburn, NH tithesis. Brewster, though nearly to avoid combat, Gale didn’t say I never dreamed that places like same. Coordinator, New Hampshire thirty at the time, resigned from the anything because “I didn’t want this still existed. County govern- The Editor Veterans for Peace Maine House of Representatives to to be a second-rate soldier.” ment has run amok. We are taxed

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And Other Correspondence Well, I guess it does every year around this time come to think The Music Hall of it … to the limit. We even pay a tax Wayne: Thank you for the reminder. Be that goes to Phoenix. State in- Well, it could be worse. You could glad you have someone who reads JUNE 7,8,9 @ 7:30 Renowned English video artist Steve McQueen's come tax also. Most of the indus- be living in Phoenix and have Joe your paper. It is delightful. (Faint feature film debut brings a visceral intensity to his try here is based on copper min- Arpaio to worry about. Glad you praise.) Please I want to re-up for retelling of the hunger strike instigated by Bobby ing which historically has its ups like the paper. Say “Hi” to your wife two more hitches. Finding paper Sands and several other detained Irish Republican and downs. We just landed in the for us. worthy of clipping ain’t getting Army members in the 1980s. (NR, 96 mins, UK, 2009) basement and have the second The Editor easier. highest unemployment in the 4 [Written under the Expiration MUST be seen country. Funny thing is, when Now The Wife Weighs In notice: “Good God man don’t JUNE 10 @ 7 on the BIG screen the economy tanks here, local To the Editor: scare me like that!”] Natalie Wood, George Chakiris, Rita Moreno and and state governments continue The wife says Hi back ! We got Gary Durheim, their military personnel and the Richard Beymer. Ten Academy Awards including Best to expand. The largest employer the new AZ license plates the Cannon Beach, OR likely, even more brutal response Picture and Best Director. Leonard Bernstein’s score. that these atrocities will elicit Stephen Sondheim’s lyrics. A 1950s Romeo in this county and the state is the other day, I almost bawled. The Gary: and Juliet. (NR, 152 mins, US, 1961) government. first 3 letters of the license plate No need to apologize. And we’ll from the other side. It seems to Thu 6/11 Live Event The culture here has basically are AEH. My daughter loves it never mistake you for a Marlene. me that we will all be soon han- RAIN: A Tribute to the Beatles given over its right of self deter- here so much she decided that it We find it heartening that our read- kering back to the halcyon days mination and the county has a meant “An Eternal Hell”. Please ers read our paper so closely. You no of the “Cold War.” Perhaps we should be bracing ourselves for JUNE 12,13 @ 7:30 strangle hold on it. keep your paper going to keep doubt noticed that David Severn World-premiere at Sundance, 2009. An epic The other predominant cultur- people informed. Ignorance is beat you to the punch in pointing the surprises still to come. dramatic thriller written and directed by Student al oddity here is the local people’s not bliss. When I finally get to go out our error. Don’t let that deter Atilla Levay Academy Award winner Cary Fukunaga in his feature need to know everything about home to New Hampshire, I want you in future. Zsambek, Hungary debut about the promise of life in America. Subtitled. your life and family. If they don’t to be going home to people who The Editor 4 (R, 96 mins, Mex, 2009) Sun 6/14@3 start a conversation by requesting still think for themselves, not to 4 In Arrears No Longer Wildcard Movie: Ocean Voyagers your biography they begin to tell sheep waiting for someone to Torture Photos Show To the Editor: you about how they know every- tell them what to think, when to Rape and Assault For many years I have been a one and everything about any think it and how to think it. I am An Open Letter to President happy subscriber to your paper, JUNE 14,15,16 @ 7:30 your views and your policies. I Acclaimed documentarian Sergey Dvortsevoy's debut particular individual. a Yankee. I work hard for a living Obama: narrative feature, Tulpan is a work of extraordinary It almost cost me my mar- everyday and am proud of that. I What can you, the President have been a “supporting sub- filmmaking, an exhilaratingly alive and riage when I moved the wife deserve to be treated decently by of the United States, or for that scriber,” at least to the extent that sweet-natured fairytale set in the barren landscape down here after being promoted my government. Amen. matter anyone else say now? I picked up my copies of The New of a Kazakh steppe. Subtitled. (NR, 100 mins, Ger, 2008) and transferred from the Pacific Janice Cook Surely you don’t expect anybody Hampshire Gazette at The Dol- Show and Tell Follows JUNE 16 Screening Northwest. My wife is a flag Gila Co., AZ to believe that these brutal atroc- phin Striker. You may rest assured waving girl from New Hamshire 4 ities could have taken place in that you’ve wasted no money on MUST be seen JUNE 17 @ 6:30 on the BIG screen and damn proud of it. That’s the Sorry … secret, without anyone else apart postage on my account. Abel Gance's monumental tribute to the French New Hampshire flag of course. To the Editor: from the perpetrators and vic- There is of course the matter of leader is a genre-defining breakthrough in cinematic Having come from New I get no pleasure in this. I am tims knowing about them. the never-paid cost of a subscrip- history and a landmark of technical and artistic invention, featuring a final reel in 3-screen Polyvision, Hampshire, she is very intolerant a friend. I am no Marlene Rich- Is there still any doubt in your tion. It is time to pay up. Check a precursor to Cinerama. (NR, 235 mins, Fr, 1927) of governments run amok, such ardson of Texas, but when you mind, as to who is going to be enclosed. as the one where we currently re- make up information about one the loser in the end in this war All the best to you and your side. She still harbors the notion person — who is to believe what of attrition? fine paper. that where she comes from it’s you write about others? Here is a Perhaps you should recall what Bob Nilson JUNE 18,19 @ 7:30 Portsmouth, NH When Gabriel and Emilie meet by chance, he offers rude to invade one’s privacy. specific! No lie! Talleyrand said in a somewhat her a ride and they spend the evening talking, I can see why she loves your May 8, 2009 Piscataqua Tidal similar situation, to Napoleon Bob: laughing and getting along famously. A part of the country so much and Guide: about 200 years ago: “Sire! It was We can’t thank you enough. Our contemporary meditation on the myriad implications also why she is so displeased with “May 11, 1960—In Buenos more than a crime, it was a mis- faithful Business (Such as it Is) of a simple kiss. Subtitled. (NR, 96 mins, Fr, 2007) my decision to move us to ....well, Aries, Mossad agents snatch take.” Manager likes to remind us on oc- Fri 6/20 Live Event Portsmouth Peace Treaty Concert this place. Adolf Eichmann.” We are on the slippery slope casion that our continued existence 28 Chestnut Street, Portsmouth God Bless you all in New “May 23, 1963—Mossad cascading towards a world ruled hangs in the balance. If a fraction themusichall.org Film Hotline: 603.436.9900 Hampshire. agents kidnap Adolph Eichmann mostly by brutal insanity and of our unpaid Supporting Subscrib- Long Live Self Determina- in Argentina.” nothing else. Surely the powers ers were to do as you just did, our tion. This, in Red Ink on the front that be in the United States and future would be assured. (See page Wayne Cook page of the same issue: “Your Great Britain must have known five for the form.) Gila Co., AZ Subscription is EXPIRING!” about the atrocities performed by The Editor

427-2919 The Fortnightly Quote, from A Reader: “Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. no parting words One hopes it is the same half.” Gore Vidal (1925 - ?) “We’re worth the trip.” how fast, how full this spring day the Piscataqua

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Portsmouth is bounded on the caused by the moon. The other major trucks.) Bay. This spectacle can best be seen when Piscataqua earns its title for xth fastest bobbing around in the current. That buoy oil, and salt generally do so at high tide, north and east by the Piscataqua River. player is a vast sunken valley, about ten The moon’s meddling creates a roving the chart below shows the tide rising. current. A good place to observe this is weighs several tons, is nine feet wide, for maximum clearance under their keels. Depending on which tour boat captain miles upriver. Twice a day, the moon hydraulic conflict as incoming sea and A good place to watch is the little deck from Bow Street, up by St. John’s church. and it bobs and bounces in the current When they leave empty, riding high in you believe, it’s the second, the third, or drags roughly seventeen billion gallons outgoing river collide. The skirmish line near the sterns of the tugboats, off Ceres Look up the river, from one of the little like a cork! The river also has its placid the water, they tend to go at low tide, the fourth fastest-flowing navigable river of salt water from the ocean, up the moves from the mouth of the river, past Street. Twice a day, too, the moon lets parking lots between the buildings. moments, around high and low tides. for maximum clearance under Memorial in the country. river, into Great Bay. (If the moon ever New Castle, around the bend by the old all that water go. All the salt water that (Don’t try to drive or park there, that Often when the river rests, its tugboats Bridge. The Piscataqua’s remarkable current stopped moving that water for us, it Naval Prison, under Memorial Bridge, just fought its way upstream goes back won’t work.) You’ll see a red buoy, at and drawbridges work their hardest. is caused by the tide which, in turn is could be replaced with 2,125,000 tanker past the tugboats, and on towards Great to rejoin the ocean. This is when the the upstream end of Badger’s Island, Ships coming in heavily laden with coal,

Sunday, June 7 Monday, June 8 Tuesday, June 9 Wednesday, June 10 Thursday, June 11 Friday, June 12 Saturday, June 13

1997—Activists are arrested for 2003—Condi Rice admits G.W. 1989—James Watt, Ronald Rea- 1990—British Airways Captain 2002—A GAO report makes clear 2003—George W. Bush finds a 2003—“His [ Joe Wilson’s] wife is passing out copies of the Bill of Bush’s State of the Union claim gan’s Secretary of the Interior, ad- Tim Lancaster is sucked half- that GOP accusations about Dem- way to fall off a Segway. in the [Central Intelligence] Agen- Rights outside the pro-nuclear Saddam tried to buy uranium from mits to a House investigating com- way out of Flight 5390 when his ocratic vandalism of the White 2000—The Energy Department cy and is a WMD analyst,” Dep. Bradbury Science Museum in Los Niger was wrong. mittee that he was paid $400,000 windshield blows out 17,000 feet House are mostly bunk. admits two hard drives holding Sec. of State Richard Armitage Alamos. 1998—General Sani Abacha, de for making a few phone calls on a over Oxfordshire. The plane lands 1995—In Claremont, NH, Bill top secret data on disarming and tells Bob Woodward. “How about 1996—The Clinton Administra- facto President of Nigeria, dies in topic he knew nothing about. safely. Lancaster recovers and later Clinton and Newt Gingrich shake dismantling nuclear weapons have that s__t?” tion calls its perusal of the FBI the company of two prostitutes, of 1978—The Mormon Church drops resumes flying. hands and pledge to reform lobby- been missing for over a month. 1989—President George Herbert files of Republicans “an innocent a heart attack allegedly caused by its policy of excluding black men 1988—A bicycle messenger is de- ing and campaign financing. 1999—George W. Bush announces [Hoover] Walker Bush vetos a raise bureaucratic mistake.” an overdose of Viagra. from the priesthood. nied entrance to the Justice De- 1991—Mount Pinatubo erupts, he’ll run for President. in the minimum wage. 1969—In Vietnam, Marine PFC 1971—Being interviewed on tape 1958—British writer Auberon partment because he’s wearing a becoming the first act of nature to 1979—Bryan Allen crosses the 1983—Pioneer 10 becomes the first Dan Bullock, 15, becomes the for “The Dick Cavett Show,” health Waugh, aboard an armored car in T-shirt that says, “Experts agree: close a U.S. military base. English Channel at an altitude of 5 man-made thing to leave the solar youngest American soldier to die in expert J.I. Rodale says “I never felt Cyprus, shakes the barrel of a mal- Meese is a pig.” 1984—The Supreme Court says il- feet aboard the Gossamer Albatross. system. combat since the First World War. better in my life!” Minutes later he’s functioning machine gun, acciden- 1975—Rockefeller Commission legally obtained evidence is OK if He is the pilot, the sole passenger, 1971—Publication of The Pentagon 1960—An A-bomb is incinerated dead of a heart attack. tally shooting himself in the chest says the CIA’s Operation CHAOS prosecutors can prove that it would and the engine. Papers begins. in a anti-aircraft missile fire 20 1967—Israeli aircraft and boats at- several times. spied on 300,000 Americans and have been discovered legally. 1972—Radical labor organizer 1968—In a misunderstanding, a miles from Trenton, NJ. tack the unarmed spy ship U.S.S. 1958—Jerry Lee Lewis takes out a infiltrated political movements. 1981—Major League Baseball Saul Alinsky dies in California. U.S. helicopter crew blasts a Viet- 1924—George Mallory disappears Liberty with rockets, machine guns, full page ad in Billboard to explain 1964—The U.S. Senate votes (tm) players go on strike. 1970—Pittsburgh Pirate Dock El- namese command post, killing near the summit of Mt. Everest. and napalm, killing 34 sailors and his 2nd divorce and 3rd marriage, to end the filibuster of the Civil 1981—Issei Sagawa, a Japanese lis pitches a no-hitter against the Saigon’s Police Chief. 1917—On the Western Front, wounding 171. to his 14 year old cousin Myra. Rights Act of 1964. student at the Sorbonne, kills fel- San Diego Padres — while trip- 1967—Thurgood Marshall is British engineers detonate 19 1966—At NYU, 270 walk out on 1954—Joseph Welch asks Joseph 1958—A House subcommittee low student René Hartevelt, and ping on LSD, he later reveals. named to the Supreme Court. huge mines whose explosion can Robert Strange McNamara’s com- McCarthy, “Have you no sense of hears that Boston industrialist eats parts of her body. Found too 1967—The Supreme Court OK’s 1966—The Supreme Court issues be heard in Dublin. Ten thousand mencement speech. decency, sir?” Bernard Goldfine gave Ike’s Chief insane for trial by French authori- interracial marriages. its Miranda decision. Germans and the town of Messines 1959—John Penton leaves New 1953—In Worcester, Mass, a tor- of Staff (and ex-NH Governor) ties he is deported to Japan for in- 1963—Medgar Evers is shot and 1960—As SDS meets in Port Hu- are destroyed. York City for Los Angeles on a nado kills 94 and injures 1,306. Sherman Adams a fancy coat in stitutionalization. Fifteen months killed in Mississippi; his murderer ron and the civil rights movement 1862—William B. Mumford, a BMW R69S motorcycle. He ar- 1946—Ted Williams hits a ball exchange for favors from the SEC. later he is allowed to go free. is convicted 31 years later. heats up, Newsweek reports that disabled Mexican War veteran, is rives there 52 hours later. that lands in the 37th row of Fen- 1944—Pitching in the ninth for 1971—Nineteen month Native 1961—U.S. Army Major Gen. students are “apathetic.” hanged in New Orleans for trea- 1952—“I would never send troops way’s bleachers, over 500 feet away. the Cincinnati Reds, Joe Nuxhall American occupation of Alcatraz Edwin Walker is disciplined for 1944—News reports say Rep. Fran- son, to wit: desecration of the U.S. [to Vietnam],” says Pres. Dwight 1946—Mel Ott becomes the first gives up five runs. He’s 15. Island ends. indoctrinating his troops with John cis E. Walter (D-PA) gave FDR a flag, under orders from Deerfield, D. Eisenhower. baseball manager to be ejected from 1940—Black nationalist Marcus 1963—Thich Quang Duc immo- Birch Society propaganda. letter-opener made from the arm NH-born Gen. Benjamin “The 1944—FDR signs the GI Bill. The both games of a double header. Garvey dies of a stroke after read- lates himself in front of the U.S. 1957—“We have exactly 342 men,” bone of a dead Japanese soldier. Beast” Butler. president of the U. of Chicago, 1909—Alice Huyler Ramsay de- ing a mistaken obituary of himself Embassy in Saigon. says General Samuel T. Williams, 1944—German V-1 “buzz-bomb” 1775—Former colonies change warns that “colleges would become parts New York for San Francisco in the Chicago Defender. 1963—George Wallace stands in head of the U.S. MAAG, Vietnam, attacks on England start. their name to the United States. educational hobo jungles.” in a Maxwell automobile. 1772—Rhode Islanders burn the the schoolhouse door to prevent “the number allowed by the Gene- 1942—The German sub U-202 1692—Port Royal, Jamaica—“the 1909—At East Orange, NJ, police 1893—As Edwin Booth, John British revenue cutter Gaspee. desegregation in Alabama. va Armistice Conference. It would lands eight Nazi saboteurs at wickedest city in the world”—is bar Emma Goldman from a meet- Wilkes’ brother, is being buried in 1248—The bulk of Bergen, Nor- 1962—Frank Morris, John An- be a breeze if we had more.” Amagansett, on Long Island. destroyed by an earthquake and ing commemorating Tom Paine’s Boston, the floors collapse at Ford’s way burns. glin, and John’s brother Clarence 1920—Serge Voronoff performs 1920—The U.S. Post Office rules subsequent tsunami. Thousands of death. She delivers her speech in Theatre in Washington, DC, killing 1194—A large part of Chartres is escape from Alcatraz, but probably the first transplant of monkey tes- that children may no longer be whores and pirates perish. a barn. 22 people. destroyed by fire. drown. ticle tissue into a human. shipped by Parcel Post. 12:05 12:06 12:46 12:46 1:26 1:25 2:04 2:03 2:43 2:42 3:22 3:23 4:02

5:48 5:47 6:29 6:28 7:09 7:07 7:47 7:47 8:25 8:28 9:03 9:10 9:43 9:56 Sunday, June 14 Monday, June 15 Tuesday, June 16 Wednesday, June 17 Thursday, June 18 Friday, June 19 Saturday, June 20 12:00 1996—The FBI reveals that the 2006—The Supreme Court rules 2002—Bill Maher’s TV show “Po- 2005—Dennis Koslowski is con- 1989—RIP I.F. Stone, who said 2002—Sen. Richard Shelby (R- 2005—Veep Dick “Dick” Cheney Clinton White House has obtained that evidence seized by cops violat- litically Incorrect” is cancelled for victed of looting NH-based Tyco. “Every government is run by liars AL) leaks classified NSA inter- tells Larry King the insurgency in files on 408 people without proper ing “no knock” rules can be used as living up to its name. 1982—“God’s banker” Roberto and nothing they say should be cepts to Fox News’s Carl Cameron Iraq is “in the last throes.” justification. evidence. Souter says “No.” 2000—The Department of En- Calvi is found hanging under a believed.” and CNN’s Dana Bash. 1973—An American F-14 Tomcat 1982—Argentina surrenders to 2002—Accounting firm Arthur ergy finds two missing top secret London bridge. 1967—On stage at Monterey, CA, 1969—The dying town of Tobar, shoots itself down with a Sparrow Britain. Anderson is convicted of obstruct- computer hard drives in a location 1972—Richard Nixon’s thugs break Jimi Hendrix sets his guitar on fire. Nevada—named for a sign point- air-to-air missile. 1954—D. Eisenhower signs a bill ing justice by impeding an investi- which had already been searched into Democratic HQ at the Water- 1961—Eddie Gaedel, only midget ing to a saloon—is dealt a death 1972—“Sinister forces” erase 18.5 adding “under God” to the Pledge gation into G.W. Bush’s top finan- twice. gate. They’re caught thanks to an to get a base on balls in major blow by an exploding railroad car min. of Oval Office tape. of Allegiance. cial contributor, Enron. 1992—Ronald Regan’s Secretary alert black Vietnam vet working as league play, dies at 36 of a heart at- full of bombs en route to Vietnam. 1965—Navy Lts. Clinton B. John- 1951—Senator Joe McCarthy (R- 1992—Vice President Dan Quayle of Defense Caspar Weinberger is a security guard. tack after a mugging. 1967—Muhammad Ali is con- son and Charles Hartman, flying Wisc.) accuses Pres. Eisenhower ensures his rightful place in his- indicted for lying to Congress. 1958—New Hampshire’s own 1959—Louisiana Gov. Earl Long, victed of refusing induction into prop-driven Douglas A-1 Skyraid- and Gen. George Marshall of al- tory by advising a spelling bee 1991—Atlanta’s Otis Nixon steals Sherman Adams, Ike’s Chief of though committed to a mental the U.S. Army. ers, down a MiG 17 jet fighter over ways serving the policies of the contestant to add a superfluous ‘e’ six bases in one day. Staff, admits he accepted a vicuna hospital, continues to govern. 1954—Warned by Sen. Styles Vietnam. Kremlin. to ‘potato.’ 1972—Peace activists encircle the coat from Boston industrialist Ber- 1954—Vietnamese Emperor Bao Bridges (R-NH) that his son’s ho- 1963—A “Hot Line” is established 1951—UNIVAC, the first com- 1967—Calif. Gov. Reagan signs a Pentagon. nard Goldfine. Dai names Dgo Dinh Diem Prime mosexuality would be exposed if he between the White House and the mercial computer, is unveiled. bill liberalizing abortion laws. 1959—George “Superman” Reeves 1954—The government of Gua- Minister. did not resign, Sen. Lester C. Hunt Kremlin. 1943—The Supreme Court rules 1940—France surrenders to Ger- dies of a gunshot wound to the temala is overthrown in a CIA- 1954—In Alabama, Albert Fuller (D-WY) shoots himself dead in his 1962—For the second time in that children cannot be forced to many. head. supported coup, leading to decades murders Alfred Patterson. Pat- Senate office. about two weeks, a Thor rocket salute the flag if it offends their re- 1920—Three black men are 1944—South Carolina electrocutes of civil war. terson, Democratic candidate for 1953—Julius and Ethel Rosen- malfunctions and drops an A- ligious beliefs. lynched in Duluth, MN. George J. Stinney Jr., for a double 1939—In Paris, Eugene Weidmann State Attorney, had vowed to rid berg become the first native-born bomb into the South Pacific. 1942—The bazooka goes into pro- 1917—Emma Goldman and Al- murder. He is 14. becomes the last public victim of Phoenix City of vice, apparently Americans to be executed for es- 1953—A U.S. military mission ar- duction in Bridgeport, Conn. exander Berkman are charged with 1943—Charlie Chaplin, 54, mar- France’s guillotine. Watching from alarming Fuller, a former sheriff. pionage. rives in Saigon. 1928—Ernesto “Che” Guevara is conspiring to “induce persons not ries Oona O’Neill, 18. a nearby window is future horror 1916—In Australia, 6,000 rally 1898—The U.S.S. Charleston shells 1943—KKK and pals attack strik- born in Argentina. to register” for the draft. 1932—In an early demonstration of movie star Christopher Lee. against conscription. Guam. The island’s Spanish gov- ing African-American auto work- 1924—In San Pedro, Calif., the 1913—At Bud Bagsak in the Phil- its self-destructive tendencies, the 1933—Four G-men and one hood 1898—The New York Times’ critic ernor, unaware that he’s at war, ers in Detroit; 34 die, 1,300 are IWW labor hall is raided; children ippines, gun designer John Brown- GOP nominates Herbert Hoover die in the Kansas City Massacre, says George Bernard Shaw’s career apologizes for having insufficient arrested. are scalded and the hall demol- ing tests his new .45 caliber pistol for a second term as Preident. three of shotgun wounds; lawmen has no promise. powder to return the salute. 1941—The recently refurbished ished. on Moro rebels. 1918—Eugene V. Debs delivers a carried the only shotguns present. 1880—Mrs. Shakuneala Devi mul- 1879—General William Tecumseh sub U.S.S. 0-9 sinks east of the Isles 1919—Alcock and Brown leave 1904—The side-wheeler General rousing anti-war speech in Canton, 1932—Thousands of disgruntled tiplies two 13-digit numbers in her Sherman, at the Michigan Military of Shoals, with 33 aboard. Newfoundland for the first suc- Slocum burns to the waterline dur- OH, for which he will later be ar- WW I vets mass in front of the head in 28 seconds. Academy, tells his audience, “There 1923—Pancho Villa dies, saying, cessful flight across the Atlantic. ing an excursion on the East River. rested U.S. Capitol as the Senate votes 1869—Henry J. Raymond, founder is many a boy here today who looks “Don’t let it end like this. Tell them 1905—Russian sailors aboard the Of the 1,300 aboard, more than 1904—In Dublin, James Joyce not to pay their bonuses. of The New York Times, expires at 49 on war as all glory, but, boys, it is I said something.” battleship Potemkin mutiny. 1,000 die. meets Nora Barnacle; they go for 1775—The Battle of Bunker Hill after suffering a stroke while enter- all hell.” 1893—Lizzie Borden beats a dou- 1897—The five year-old immigra- 1859—On San Juan Island, Amer- a walk. is fought on Breed’s Hill with New taining his mistress. 1865—More than two years after ble-murder rap. tion station on Ellis Island, built of ican Lyman Cutlar shoots a pig 1882—In Dubuque, Iowa, a 1.75 Hampshire men under Gen. John 1746—Samuel Johnson agrees to the Emancipation Proclamation 1868—Algernon Charles Swin- pine, burns to the ground taking 42 belonging to Charlies Griffin, an lb. hailstone falls. Stark, using powder pilfered from produce an English dictionary for went into effect, slaves in Texas are burne offers a reward for the re- years worth of records with it. Irishman, causing a U.S./British 1873—Susan B. Anthony is ar- Portsmouth’s Fort William and a group of London booksellers. His freed. The day is now observed as turn of his manuscript of Bothwell, 1893—First observed Flag Day. military standoff lasting 12 years. rested for voting. Mary. fee: £1,575. “Juneteenth.” which he’d left in a cab. 4:07 4:45 4:54 5:30 5:46 6:18 6:42 7:09 7:39 8:01 8:37 8:54 9:34 9:47

10:25 10:44 11:09 11:36 11:56 12:31 12:45 1:27 1:38 2:24 2:31 3:19 3:25

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