January 23, 2008 #928

Bear-In-Chief Meet President Buck Marshall from the new play Bear Force One inSIDE page 14 The writing’s on the TPAN takes it off at Chalkboard on Lincoln Hydrate page 12 page 16

out in the stars by Charlene Lichtenstein Make your personal mark on practice. to “do good” at any cost. Your the world as the Sun enters personal opinions have all the Aqueerius. It’s not enough to LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) subtly of a sledgehammer, but think about the “what ifs” of Sun in Aquarius accentuates what the heck; you are here to life. Start to think about the the importance of relation- make things happen any way January 23, 2008 “why nots?”. And full speed ships and what you can do to you can. Force ‘em to listen if #928 ahead! create and sustain one. Allow you have to. partners more latitude and JAN 25TH ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL breathing space than usual. CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. cover 20) Proud Rams are in har- You can’t expect absolute 20) Finances must be firmly CREW, NIGHTSPOTS, CHICAGOPRIDE.COM bear force mony with the greater group devotion simply because you set before you can proceed on & GOOSE ISLAND HONKERS PRESENT one effort. Change the direction of roar for it, proud Lion. more loftier goals. Pink Caps photo by the dynamic with the grace of should not be at the mercy of a diplomat. But don’t work from VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) others for financial security. Scott Williams selfish motives. Take a worthy Queer Virgins virtually dive Learn the nuts and bolts of scottwilliamsdesigns.com charitable effort one giant leap head first into their pile of investing. Then expect a surge '3"5#0: forward. Simon says no baby paperwork on the job. Tackle of self-confidence to get things INDEX steps. the most difficult projects with fiscally launched. that guy tour de force. Energy for even 6 TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY the most boring and detailed AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. '3*%": THE DJ, THE MUSIC 21) Queer Bulls take decisive project is high. Slice through 19) Aqueerians charm people & YOU action in professional matters. the clutter while you sizzle to their way of thinking (and 10 Grab the reins and ride the and cook. where charm leaves off, arm WHAT SHOULD WE DO corporate chariot to unparal- twisting comes in.) Keep in TONIGHT? leled success. Don’t accept LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) mind that in the long term, 12 excuses or promises; you’ve Gay Libras sure know how to nobody likes to get handled HOT JOCK CONTEST BEAR FORCE ONE been far too understanding for have a good time this week! and pushed into a corner. If 14 too long. It’s play or pay time, Avoid blithely wandering into things take longer to gel, just 1ST $300 CASH the spread buddy. the distance on time-wasting smile and say pretty please. 16-17 2ND $100 CASH tangents. Enjoy the creative PRETZEL LOGIC 18 GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE verve it brings however. It PISCES (FEB. 20 - MARCH 3RD $50 BAR TAB 21) You are charged with the proves useful. We all need 20) Sun in Aquarius sweeps $3 PINTS intermission no jock, no worries 22-23 task of spreading valuable artistic flair now and then. And out all the psychological debris GOOSE ISLAND WHERE MY BAR AT? information. (Does a per- more now than then. that holds you back from suc- we got ya covered! HONKERS DRAFTS 24 sonal blog count?) Become a cess. Don’t let gremlins rule WHAT’S UP? spokesperson for any personal SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. you, Guppie. This is the time to 25 pet cause, pink Twin. I expect 22) Do what needs to be give them a kick in the patoot WEEKLY CALENDAR you will do it with flair. Call it done on home-related issues once and for all. Be strong 26-27 as you see it. Wear glasses to whether redecorating projects and sweep out the garbage. January 26th 1-3:00pm from the booth maintain focus. around the house or any Breathe a sigh of relief. 28 ongoing, nagging family A Charity Chili Contest CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY matters. Don’t take no for an (c) 2008 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All 23) Lusty gay Crabs are sen- answer; repeat yes, yes, yes Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. sual and insatiable this week. like a mantra. There can be CREW’S 2ND ANNUAL But you may bite off more than no compromise on your life’s Can’t get enough? Join the blog: CUSTOMER CHILI COOK OFF you can chew (if that’s pos- direction. thestarryeye.typepad.com/queer sible). Maintain your balance Lichtenstein’s “HerScopes: A Guide $10 A PERSON and treat lovers as one would SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - To Astrology For Lesbians” is an LETS YOU SAMPLE 10 DIFFERENT CHILI’S AND treat fine china; show them off DEC. 22) Gay Archers are international sensation and has just THEN CAST YOUR BALLOT. and don’t use them for target great humanitarians and yearn “come out” in its 6th printing. Buy it WINNING CHILI RECIPE RECEIVES $100 CASH DOWNload: www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com OR WIN THE CHRISTOPHER LOWELL AWARD, January 23, 2008 #928 PUBLISHER Tracy Baim ASSISTANT PUBLISHER Terri Klinsky Managing Editor Kirk Williamson Photography Mel Ferrand, graysong, DJ A $50 BAR TAB FOR BEST PRESENTATION Greg Haus, Kirk, Kizzy, Ryan Kolodziej, Steve Starr CAST OF CHARACTERS Andrew Davis, Andrew Georgiou, graysong, Joan Jett-Blakk, Charlene Lichtenstein, David J. Magdziarz, Jennifer Parello, Randy Pubert ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Terri Klinsky, Suzanne Kraus, Kirk Williamson, Kathleen Ulm, Amy Matheny, Jerry Nunn, Cynthia Holmes, Terry Wiegel NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE RIVENDELL MEDIA (212) AND ALL MONEY RAISED WILL BE DONATED TO 242-6863 Promotions Kathleen Ulm DIRECTOR OF NEW MEDIA Jean Albright Office Cynthia Holmes, Robb Olson, Amy Wooten Calendar THE CARE FOR REAL CHARITY. Editor Amy Wooten

Copyright 2008 Windy City Media Group/Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved. Reprint by permission only. Back issues available for $3 per issue (postage included). Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights to letters, art and #2%7s."ROADWAY photos sent to Nightspots/Windy City Times will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such, subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots/Windy City Times. Publication of the name, photograph, or likeness of a person or organization in articles or advertising in Nightspots/Windy City Times is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization. While we encourage readers to support the advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots/Windy City Times cannot accept responsibility for advertising claims. WORLDSGREATESTBARCOM Bear-In-Chief nightspots 5443 n. broadway, #101, Chicago, IL 60640 Meet President Buck Marshall from the new play Bear Force One inSIDE page 14 773.871.7610, fax 773.871.7609 www.WindyCitymediagroup.com The writing’s on the TPAN takes it off at Chalkboard on Lincoln Hydrate [email protected] page 12 page 16 Make your personal mark on practice. to “do good” at any cost. Your the world as the Sun enters personal opinions have all the Aqueerius. It’s not enough to LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) subtly of a sledgehammer, but think about the “what ifs” of Sun in Aquarius accentuates what the heck; you are here to life. Start to think about the the importance of relation- make things happen any way “why nots?”. And full speed ships and what you can do to you can. Force ‘em to listen if ahead! create and sustain one. Allow you have to. partners more latitude and JAN 25TH ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL breathing space than usual. CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20) Proud Rams are in har- You can’t expect absolute 20) Finances must be firmly CREW, NIGHTSPOTS, CHICAGOPRIDE.COM mony with the greater group devotion simply because you set before you can proceed on & GOOSE ISLAND HONKERS PRESENT effort. Change the direction of roar for it, proud Lion. more loftier goals. Pink Caps the dynamic with the grace of should not be at the mercy of a diplomat. But don’t work from VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) others for financial security. selfish motives. Take a worthy Queer Virgins virtually dive Learn the nuts and bolts of charitable effort one giant leap head first into their pile of investing. Then expect a surge '3"5#0: forward. Simon says no baby paperwork on the job. Tackle of self-confidence to get things steps. the most difficult projects with fiscally launched. tour de force. Energy for even TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY the most boring and detailed AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. '3*%": 21) Queer Bulls take decisive project is high. Slice through 19) Aqueerians charm people action in professional matters. the clutter while you sizzle to their way of thinking (and Grab the reins and ride the and cook. where charm leaves off, arm corporate chariot to unparal- twisting comes in.) Keep in leled success. Don’t accept LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) mind that in the long term, excuses or promises; you’ve Gay Libras sure know how to nobody likes to get handled HOT JOCK CONTEST been far too understanding for have a good time this week! and pushed into a corner. If too long. It’s play or pay time, Avoid blithely wandering into things take longer to gel, just 1ST $300 CASH buddy. the distance on time-wasting smile and say pretty please. 2ND $100 CASH tangents. Enjoy the creative GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE verve it brings however. It PISCES (FEB. 20 - MARCH 3RD $50 BAR TAB 21) You are charged with the proves useful. We all need 20) Sun in Aquarius sweeps no jock, no worries $3 PINTS task of spreading valuable artistic flair now and then. And out all the psychological debris GOOSE ISLAND information. (Does a per- more now than then. that holds you back from suc- we got ya covered! HONKERS DRAFTS sonal blog count?) Become a cess. Don’t let gremlins rule spokesperson for any personal SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. you, Guppie. This is the time to pet cause, pink Twin. I expect 22) Do what needs to be give them a kick in the patoot you will do it with flair. Call it done on home-related issues once and for all. Be strong as you see it. Wear glasses to whether redecorating projects and sweep out the garbage. January 26th 1-3:00pm maintain focus. around the house or any Breathe a sigh of relief. ongoing, nagging family A Charity Chili Contest CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY matters. Don’t take no for an (c) 2008 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All 23) Lusty gay Crabs are sen- answer; repeat yes, yes, yes Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. sual and insatiable this week. like a mantra. There can be CREW’S 2ND ANNUAL But you may bite off more than no compromise on your life’s Can’t get enough? Join the blog: CUSTOMER CHILI COOK OFF you can chew (if that’s pos- direction. thestarryeye.typepad.com/queer sible). Maintain your balance Lichtenstein’s “HerScopes: A Guide $10 A PERSON and treat lovers as one would SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - To Astrology For Lesbians” is an LETS YOU SAMPLE 10 DIFFERENT CHILI’S AND treat fine china; show them off DEC. 22) Gay Archers are international sensation and has just THEN CAST YOUR BALLOT. and don’t use them for target great humanitarians and yearn “come out” in its 6th printing. Buy it WINNING CHILI RECIPE RECEIVES $100 CASH DOWNload: www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com OR WIN THE CHRISTOPHER LOWELL AWARD, A $50 BAR TAB FOR BEST PRESENTATION AND ALL MONEY RAISED WILL BE DONATED TO THE CARE FOR REAL CHARITY. #2%7s."ROADWAY WORLDSGREATESTBARCOM that guy by Kirk Williamson Have you recovered from the Blah, blah, blah.” But sparking a deep freeze yet? As I sit here square ain’t pretty in these frigid typing these words it’s a dread- times (and frigid atmosphere). ful -2° outside, which isn’t too Lucky to meet a nice guy at much warmer than it has been. Crew who made it a little warmer. Unfortunately, such bitter cold I asked if I could take his picture coldness can wreak havoc on and he would only do it if I gave an already sluggish time for bar him a cigarette. Tobacco has business. In that vein, I didn’t become a rare commodity. It’s really accomplish all that much like one big prison movie some in the way of covering the scene times. this past week. I will attempt to stretch it out a little, thus creat- Oh, Emmanuel! You are the ing the illusion that I put in a full master of the extended arm week. I seem to be quite good self-photography moment. That at doing that. I bet you didn’t picture of us at Cocktail is a know that I’m doing it right now. true treasure. Thank your friend What’s that you say? You picked for me for the intense politi- up on my not-so-clever little cal discussion. Nice to slip in scheme? Well aren’t you razor some seriousness amid all the sharp! Somebody needs to give stripperiness (take THAT, spell you a big, fat cookie. checker!).

Our appetites are officially And Dcota, don’t think I didn’t whetted (and other stuff is wet, see that myspace bulletin in- as well) for this year’s Chicago spired by last week’s “cakes and Takes Off event on February pies” comment in my column. I 9. And how did we get so wet wonder if you’ll be so jolly when FROM TOP: TPAN’s (and whetted)? If you braved the you’re skinny. Rhett Lindsay (L) and Todd Kiech (R) at cold and made it to Hydrate last Hydrate; Thursday, you’d be just as wet Discounting, of course, Chester With Emmanuel Garcia as me. Hot bodies, gyrations, A. Arthur, Buck Marshall may be at Cocktail; all that good stuff... and all for our first bear president. Check Brandon and friend at a great cause. Thanks to Rhett, out page 14 for the skinny (or Mary’s Attic Keith and the whole TPAN bunch whatever the bear equivalent of for blazing a trail by showing us “skinny” would be... Dcota, I’m that you can have fun and raise looking at you on this one) on money at the same time. And if Bear Force One, the prescient you see the occasional nekkid tale of America’s first hirsute ass, so much the better. head of state and his struggle to defeat the Catholics and heal a Another woeful side-effect of the nation. I say hail to the chief! big chill is the massive incon- venience to smokers. I know, I [email protected] know. “I’m so happy I don’t have to smell other people’s smoke.

6 January 23, 2008 After only three primaries and three caucuses, the office of president is up in the air.

So Bush changed the name of the position to Supreme President for Life.

MON TUES TUES Champions Avenue Tavern Jackhammer FEBRUARY 4, 9:30pm-12:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 10pm-4am (773) 743-1797 (773) 975-7000 (773) 743-5772 TUES TUES WED WED Crew Gentry on State Victory Liquors The Copa 9pm-Midnight 9:30pm-1:30am 8:30pm-12:30am 9:30pm-1:30am (773) 784-CREW (312) 836-0933 (773) 348-5600 (312) 642-3449 WED WED WED THU Holiday Club Squeeze Inn @mosphere Four Farthings 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am March 26 - 8pm-12am 9:30pm-1:30am (773) 348-9600 5642 W. 65th St. (773) 784-1100 (773) 935-2060 THU THU FRI FRI The Closet Catcher’s Pap’s Tap Joe E’s Unforgettable 9:30pm-1:30am 8:30pm-12:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 11pm-3am (773) 477-8533 (773) 869-9411 5532 S. Narragansett (773)283-3422 NEW DAY FRI FRI SAT SAT Bobby Love’s Spyner’s Christina’s Squeeze Inn 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 10pm-2am 10pm-2am (773) 525-1200 (773) 784-8719 (773) 463-1768 (773) 585-6776 SAT SAT SAT SUN Cary’s Coppolino’s Spyner’s Star Gaze 10pm-2am 10:30pm-2:30am 9:30pm-2:30am 8pm-12am (773) 743-5737 (773) 735-8647 (773) 784-8719 (773) 561-7363 Be a friend... see myspace.com/creaoke for booking and hiring info: 773-539-5925 or [email protected] Rub one out with Lisa Lexus at

Cocktail photos by Kirk

Gettin’ a little on the side at

Sidetrack photos by Kirk

8 January 23, 2008 Gettin’ a little on the side at the dj, the music and you by DJ Res5 Resurrection: Sometimes it takes more than 3 days... Hey there tune-sters, I have a lot to tell and no time for repeating myself. Pay attention!

Peter Rauhofer has unleashed his remix to Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop the Music.” Given how late in the game this mix is coming out, it actually stunned me with its unparal- leled quality. It’s a little dubby, but with the melodrama he is serving, expect this song to stay around through the spring thaw.

Lindbergh Palace are no strangers to progressive, emotional affairs. I was re- cently gifted a copy of their mix to Good Charlotte’s “I Don’t Wanna Fall In Love,” and I recommend checking out the full version on their MySpace page. This hot mix is making the wait until Young Love’s next album just a bit more bearable.

A few months ago, “rockers” Radiohead made headlines with a choose-your-cost digital version of In Rainbows. Well, the physical CD is out--finally. Grab it and play it low during your next hip, young dinner party. It is a surpris- ingly chill affair. making heads or tails of the situation at

I just stumbled onto this great Jackhammer photos by Kirk alternative vocalist named Kate Nash. Her album, Made of Bricks, is heavenly. Kate’s vocal presence is somewhere between Natasha Bedingfield & Feist. However, she has more up-tempo goodness than the latter and isn’t as total a sell-out as the former. Check out the album stand-outs “Mouthwash,” “Mariella,” and the UK #1 track “Foundations” and you’ll be hooked!

Last words are on Duran Duran. “Nite-Runner” finally has a remix. Vibelicious has taken on the track and given it a solid, pop-vocal take similar to his work on Britney’s “Gimme More”.

Like what you’re hearing? Add me on MySpace http:// www.myspace.com/freemixshowman. 10 SMOKERS’ CORNER January 23, 2008 MARK YOUR CALENDAR: 2 EVENTS– ONE BIG DAY VOT TUESDAY ILLINO E! FEB. 5 T H IS PRI TUES, MARY FEB 5

THEN CELEBRATE AT Mardi

Á LA SGIDETrRaACsK N O C OV E R ! ! ! Inspired by the legendary stageshows of the Lido de Paris but with that Sidetrack edge!

S I D E T R AC K T H E V I D E O BA R 3 3 4 9 N . H A L ST E D, C H I CAG O VA L E T PA R K I N G AVA I L A B L E S I D E T R AC KC H I CAG O. C O M SMOKERS’ CORNER what do YOU

wannaNightspots’ do? Free Dating Advice (you’re welcome) by Michael Hampton

Here is an adventurous date which is not for the faint of heart.

Try Chalkboard in Lincoln Square at 4343 N. Lincoln Ave. From the outside, it looks like an easy-going café where the menu is written on a huge chalkboard that fills an entire wall.

The décor is a little Lillian Vernon, but the food was excellent. My date had fried chicken, which was literally half of a boneless chicken that was battered and deep-fried sitting on top of a bed of mashed potatoes. My fish dish was less spec- tacular, but pretty good.

My date happened to be wearing a baseball cap and rather than quietly ask him to take it off, the waiter pointed at him from across the room to get his attention and then mimed removing his Can you spot the guitar hero at hat in an exaggerated way. I didn’t notice until my date sheepishly removed his hat and sat as photos by Kirk if he had been scolded. Mary’s Attic

Around the corner is the Cornservatory The- atre who consistently put on wonderful musicals and satire shows. Or, there are a bevy of sports bars and nightspots within walking distance where you CAN wear a baseball cap.

Email questions or comments to [email protected].

12 January 23, 2008

March 19, 2010

My Fellow Americans,

I am writing to you from the bowels of Air Force One. This time yesterday, I was simply the Secretary of Agriculture for the United States of America. If it weren’t for the string of presidential assassinations, that’s where I still would be. But I’m not; now I’m the first Bear President of the United States. I must confess, I had foolishly planned on taking Air Force One to Ft. Lauderdale for Fur Fest with my family and my all-Bear Cabinet. I now realize that was an irresponsible choice and a gross misuse of my power.

Unfortunately, the situation here has gotten hairier: the radical Catholic Terrorist organization, the CCD has just hijacked Air Force One and taken all the passengers hostage, including the First Cub and our adopted daughter, India-China. These are the same monsters behind the as- sassinations of President Clinton, Vice President Obama and all the others. They are demand- ing that we release the tyrannical Pope Benedict XVI from Guantanamo Bay. I assure you that I will stick to my guns and stand by my statement that I, Buck Marshall, President of the Untied States, will NOT negotiate with terrorists and/or Catholics. I have full faith that my ex- wife and power lesbian, Dr. Madame Vice President Eloise Marshall-Foster will do anything and everything in her power to ensure that they don’t get away with this. With that being said, I have full faith in myself and my old army buddies, my chief of staff Chuck and Secretary of State Larry, that we can and will retake this plane, using the skills we learned when we were in the Army. That is of course before we were discharged under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. I know that I will get through this ordeal stronger then before.

Woof,

President Buck Marshall

To see if President Marshall defeats the evil Catholics/terrorists and restores peace and order with his all-bear cabinet, see Bear Force One at The Annoyance Theatre, 4830 N. Broadway. Special previews will run Friday, January 25 and Friday, February 1, the show officially opening Fri- day, February 8. For tickets and information, see theannoyance.com, or call 773-561-HONK (4665).

14 January 23, 2008 by William Shakespeare Adapted & Directed by Charles Newell

A classic tale of jealousy and revenge transformed into a modern saga of privilege and entitlement. by Williamby ShakespeareWilliam Shakespeare Adapted Adapted & Directed & Directedby Charles byby Newell WilliamCharles NewellShakespeare Adapted & Directed by Charles Newell

A classicA classic tale of talejealousy of jealousy and and A classic tale of jealousy and revengerevenge transformed transformed into a moderninto a modern revenge transformed into a modern saga ofsaga privilege of privilege and entitlement. and entitlement. saga of privilege and entitlement.

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NOW PLAYING!NOW PLAYING! Court Theatre, Court Theatre, 5535 S. 5535 Ellis S.Ave., EllisNOW Ave., PLAYING! Court Theatre, 5535 S. Ellis Ave., the Universitythe of University Chicago of ChicagoFREE parkingFREE parking garage, garage, Group, Group,student,the University student, & ofsenior Chicago & discountsseniorFREE discounts parking garage, Group, student, & senior discounts (773)(773) 753-4472 753-4472 www.CourtTheatre.org www.CourtTheatre.org(773) 753-4472 www.CourtTheatre.org 0HOTOOF%LIZABETH,EDOAND4IMOTHY%DWARD+ANEBY-ICHAEL"ROSILOW0HOTOOF%LIZABETH,EDOAND4IMOTHY%DWARD+ANEBY-ICHAEL"ROSILOW0HOTOOF%LIZABETH,EDOAND4IMOTHY%DWARD+ANEBY-ICHAEL"ROSILOW photos by Kirk photos by Kirk they take a hands-on approach at @mosphere TPAN teases the takeoff at Hydrate

photos by Kirk rock out with your jock out at Crew

photos by Kirk midnight shots at Big Chicks

16 January 23, 2008 theSPREAD

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photos by Kirk TPAN teases the takeoff at Hydrate

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17 January 23, 2008 18 January 23,2008

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All fivewentbacktoHoly’s mutual friendwhowasalsoa the twocrankycopsthrougha bar nearhishouse,andmet and hisfriendhadgonetoa officers inHoly’s garage.Holy gunpoint bytwoDallaspolice and amalefriendwereheldat Country SingerSteveHoly Hol her faith.” standards inaccordancewith the highestmoralandethical who livesinaccordancewith tian withaspotlessreputation Spears isalsoadevoutChris had beenspeared,stating,“Ms. y Shit! y Porn,ButThat ys, Right y - me at757-622-PETA (7382). Cruise’s attorneys,pleasecall and letemknow. Ifyouare Tom at [email protected] my collums,youcane-mailme a typoorothererrorinoneof In theunlikelyeventyoufind mayke ittint5othsicollum. misteaks likethtevuragin too makshureknowsuchh now onitwillwerkreallhaard Please beassuredthatfrom Logic regretsitscarelessness. of Nightspotsintime.Pretzel corrected copytotheeditor unfortunately Ididnotgetthe use oftheword“politician,”but also tocorrectthemisplaced criminal thanacelebrity, and as he’s moreofasuspected ence ofhimaseparateitem that itemfirsttomakemyrefer Peterson. Idecidedtore-write That Happen To Everyone” ous Circumstances,Doesn’t Or MissingUnderMysteri Women And They End Up Dead to Drew“SoIMarry A LotOf the sameitemIhadareference “celebrity” inthatitem. Also, in change theword“politician”to ing andpastingtextIforgotto various celebrities.Whilecopy an itemaboutmywishlistfor In myNew Year’s columnIhad Kowrekshun homophobic.” bothered him.Hewasdefinitely the intermission.Itreally it. We hadtoleavebefore women, hecouldn’thandle as saying,“Mendressed (the date,not Tom) wasquoted gay themesintheshow. She was extremelyupsetbythe “La Cage Aux Folles,” Tommy to seetheBroadwaymusical related thatwhenhetookher when bothwereteenagers dated CreepyCruiseback Tom Cruise,onewomanwho Andrew Mortonbookabout - - - hydrate for more pageant information, see for more pageantinformation, missgayindianausofa.com encompassnightclub.com 2415 RushSt., LakeStation, IN encompassnightclub.com •3458 N.Halsted •www.HydrateChicago.com (35 min.SEofChicago) Miss GayIndianaUSofA2008 219-962-4640 February 9 Saturday THURSDAYS AT HYDRATE... DJ or Greg Drescher hosted by featuring MissGayUSofA $3 MGD&LiteBottles Asia Ohara $5 SpecialtyMartinis PRESENTED BY Teri Yaki 2007 ‘TENDER presents LOVE PROMALE! Live, One-On-One Leave and Listen to Messages

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20 January 23, 2008

Intermission

Got a site for the World Wide Weird? email [email protected]

Everyone should have a little captain in them www.youtube.com/profile?user=CaptainDisillusion Now here’s a Super Hero I can truly appreciate: Captain Disillusion. He has a YouTube channel where he fights ignorance and stupidity on the Intertubes by “debunking” amazing online videos. This way you can show that dumbass two cubes over that: no, they really didn’t do all those amazing sunglass face catches; and no, they really weren’t UFOs filmed over Haiti recently. Sadly though, 2 Girls 1 Cup is all real.

0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 Thanks for the mammaries www.empathybelly.org The empathy belly pregnancy simulator is designed to show the non- pregnant what it feels like to be pregnant. It can’t give you the joyous hormonal swings, but it can give you: 30 pounds of weight gain; simulated fetal kicks; shallow breathing and shortness of breath; increased pulse and body temperature; pressure on the bladder; low back pain; fatigue and irratibility; and a most fetching waddle. Maybe somebody should have strapped Jamie Lynn Spears into one of these puppies a year or so ago. 0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 288 rounds of pure latex justice disintegrator.co.uk This is the ultimate rubber band gun. This cannoned puppy has 24 revolving barrels, and can fire 40 rubber bands per second. That means it can fire off all 288 rounds it can be loaded with in just a scoche over seven seconds. Be the God Emperor of Cubicle Wars. All will bow before your wrath. And if they don’t you can unleash the screaming fury of the Disintegrator. It’s like attacking with a paintball gun, but a lot less messy.

0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 Tanks for the memories www.tankchair.com The tank chair was actually devised to allow wheelchair-bound people to be able to get out into more rugged terrain than they can normally access. However, I can’t help but think if you got a few of these, and strapped the Disintegrator rubber band gun onto them you’d have a bitching replacement for paintball, especially for slugs like myself who always use the elevator to go down one flight of stairs. 0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 22 January 23, 2008 nightSPOTSMAFIA We’ll tell ya what ta think Special Guest: ED of Nat’l Center for Lesbian Rights Kate Kendall

If he donates $370,000 back to Met an activist and legislator Weight loss commercials. - Kate foundations which focus on from Spain, who were key in Britney Spears news. - Andrew healthcare and education. securing GLBT marriage rights. Fucking debates. 10 more Got a site for the World Wide Weird? - Kate - Kate months of this shit? - Robb email [email protected] No, but it’d be the right amount Talked w/ Clive Barker. - Andrew Everyone complaining about for me. - Andrew Had an email conversation with 2007. - Pubert It’s the lowest Presidential wage one of my favorite authors. The cold... of course. - Kathleen in the history of the USA - Robb Winter. - Creaoke (considering inflation), so yeah. Interviewed a wannabe super- American Idol. - graysong - Robb model. - Pubert January. - Kirk How much money can you Had a political debate at a spend on impulse purchases y o u did l ast week poker table with redneck male of 7-11 bean burritos anyway? businessmen. - Kathleen - graysong Had a prostate exam. Didn’t ac- S omethin g interestin

Seems a bit low when biz execs “I t ’ s on ly J an u ar y and

tually do much for that, other I’ m a l read y sick o f...” are pulling down four times as y ear ly. I s this the ri g ht ? than bend over. - graysong much. - Kathleen Stayed in bed sick. - Creaoke Well, it has to be competitive with Bought a sweet new pair the other presidents. - Pubert of kicks (do kids still say T he P resident makes $400,000 That’s just his taxable income. “kicks”?). - Kirk - Creaoke Are you special enough? If you want to be included as a special guest in Nightspots MAFIA, send an email to [email protected] and plead your case.

MAIN: These two at Mary’s Attic... DETAIL: ...were quite EN- GAGING. Congrats, boys! Where are you registered?

23 January 23, 2008 WHERE MY BAR AT? BOYSTOWN minibar/winebar Joie De Vine Prop House 3160 3341 N. Halsted St. 1744 W. Balmoral Ave. 1675 N. Elston Ave. 3160 N. Clark St. 773-871-MBAR 773-989-6846 773-486-2086 773-327-5969 www.minibarchicago.com Lost & Found The Southside www.Chicago3160.com North End 3058 W. Irving Park Rd. Chesterfield Club 3733 N. Halsted St. 773-463-7599 Berlin 1800 W. Pershing St. 773-477-7999 954 W. Belmont Ave. Man’s Country 773-376-9511 773-348-4975 Roscoe’s 5017 N. Clark St. (bath) www.clubchesterfield.net www.BerlinChicago.com 3356 N. Halsted St. 773-878-2069 Club Escape 773-281-3355 Bobby Love’s Scot’s 1530 E. 75th St. www.roscoes.com 3729 N. Halsted St. 1829 W. Montrose Ave. 773-667-6454 773-525-1200 Scarlet 773-528-3253 Escapades 3320 N. Halsted St. www.scotsbarchicago.com www.bobbyloves.com 6301 S. Harlem Ave. 773-348-1053 Bucks Saloon SoFo 773-229-0686 3439 N. Halsted St. Sidetrack 4923 N. Clark St. InnExile 3349 N. Halsted St. 773-784-7636 773-525-1125 5758 W. 65th St. 773-477-9189 Cell Block Spyners 773-582-3510 www.sidetrackchicago.com 3702 N. Halsted St. 4623 N. Western Ave. www.innexilechicago.com 773-665-8064 Spin 773-784-8719 Jeffery Pub 800 W. Belmont Ave. www.cellblock-chicago.com Star Gaze 7041 S. Jeffrey Ave. 773-327-7711 Charlie’s 5419 N. Clark St. 773-363-8555 3726 N. Broadway Ave. www.spin-nightclub.com 773-561-7363 773-871-8887 Steamworks (bath) www.stargazechicago.com The Burbs www.charliesonline.com 3248 N. Halsted St. T’s 773-929-6081 5025 N. Clark St. Club Krave Circuit 13126 S. Western Ave. 3641 N. Halsted St. 773-784-6000 Blue Island, IL 773-325-2233 www.tsbarchicago.com ANDERSONVILLE 708-597-8379 www.circuitclub.com @mosphere Touché Hideaway 5355 N. Clark St. 6412 N. Clark St. The Closet 7301 W. Roosevelt Rd. 3325 N Broadway Ave. 773-784-1100 773-465-7400 Forest Park, IL 773-477-8533 www.atmospherebar.com www.touchechicago.com 708-771-4459 www.theclosetbar.com The Anvil Wilde Pug www.hideawaynightclub.com COMING SOON!!! Cocktail 1137 W. Granville Ave. Hunters 3359 N. Halsted St. 773-973-0006 www.worldsgreatestbar.com 1932 E. Higgins Rd. 773-477-1420 Big Chicks Elk Grove Village, IL FireFly 5024 N. Sheridan Rd. DOWNTOWN 847-439-8840 3335 N. Halsted St. 773-728-5511 The Baton www.huntersnightclubs.com 773-525-2505 www.BigChicks.com 436 N. Clark St. John L’s Place Halsted’s Bar & Grill Crew 312-644-5269 335 154th Pl. 3441 N. Halsted St. 4804 N. Broadway Ave. www.thebatonshowlounge.com 708-862-2386 773-348-9696 773-784-CREW Club Reunion Maneuvers www.worldsgreatestbar.com Hydrate 811 W. Lake St. 118 E. Jefferson St. 3458 N. Halsted St. Eagle 312-943-5397 Joliet, IL 773-975-9244 5015 N. Clark St. Generator 815-727-7069 www.hydratechicago.com 773-728-0050 306 N. Halsted St. www.JolietManeuvers.com Kit Kat www.ChicagoEagle.com 773-738-9971 Heroes Entertainment 3700 N. Halsted St. El Gato Negro Gentry on State 481 N. Schuyler Ave. 773-525-1111 1461 Irving Park Rd. 440 N. State St. Kankakee, IL www.kitkatchicago.com 773-472-9353 312-836-0933 815-802-0437 Little Jim’s Hamburger Mary’s/ www.GentryofChicago.com indiana 3501 N. Halsted St. Mary’s Attic Second Story Bar Dick’s R U Crazee? 773-871-6116 5400 N. Clark St. 157 E. Ohio St. 1221 E.150th St. Lucky Horseshoe 773-784-6969 312-923-9356 Hammond, IN 3169 N. Halsted St. www.hamburgermaryschicago.com 708-868-6856 773-404-3169 Jackhammer Near North www.dicksrucrazee.com Manhandler 6406 N. Clark St. Crobar Encompass 1948 N. Halsted St. 773-743-5772 1543 N. Kingsbury St. 2415 Rush St. 773-871-3339 www.jackhammer-chicago.com 312-266-1900 Lake Station, IN 219-962-4640 24 www.encompassnightclub.com January 23, 2008 N. Broadway St., 773- Asian Invasion, with DJ tickets at 708-848- Wed Jan. 23 784-CREW, worldsgreat- Joe Gauthreaux, 3641 0273 or at door Center on Halsted The estbar.com N. Halsted St., Ride for AIDS Chicago Art and Science of Equality Illinois Meet Crew Second Annual Kickoff Brunch. 10 Negotiation. Develop and Greet with the Customer Chili Cookoff, a.m., Crew Bar and the skills you need candidates running in $10 to enter, proceeds Grill, 4804 N. Broad- to get ahead. Part of the Feb. 5 primary, co- to The Care For Real way, www.rideforaids. the Women’s Career sponsored by EI, Lake charity, 4804 N. Broad- org for more info Development Series. View Citizens Council way St., 773-784-CREW, Windy City Gay Natur- 6-8 p.m., $5 donation, and the Lesbian and worldsgreatestbar.com ists Paradise Lost? 3656 N. Halsted St., Gay Bar Association of Eagle Hanky Panky party, Found! An afternoon www.centeronhalsted. Chicago. Non-partisan free hanky for all, 5015 of steam, sauna, soak- org event; includes all cat- N. Clark St. ing in the hot tub or Chicago Prime Timers egories of candidates. Man’s Country Luciano just hanging out. 3 Book Group. The Short 6-8 p.m., Sidetrack, and Manuel, 5017 N. p.m., $18 fee at door, History of a Prince by 3349 N. Halsted St. Clark St. Paradise Spa, 2910 W. Jane Hamilton. 7:30-9 Homocore Chicago Services and Advocacy Montrose Ave. p.m., free, Center 40th Birthday Party for GLBT Elders Pizza Women of the Western on Halsted, 3656 N. Punk Show for Mark and a Movie: Lawrence Suburbs Monthly Halsted St. Freitas (a.k.a. Mark of Arabia. 6-10 p.m., meeting at member’s Danny’s Tavern Smiths Homocore). Featur- $3, Center on Halsted’s home. 2-5 p.m., email Night. Fourth Tuesday ing Vee Dee, Hot Lips John Baran Senior [email protected], of every month. 10 Messiah and Plasma Center, 3656 N. Halsted call 847-622-4327 p.m., no cover, 1931 W. Drive. 8 p.m.-midnight, St., www.centeronhalst- Dickens Jackhammer, 6406 N. ed.org, 773-472-6469, St. Clements Church The Clark St., no cover, ext. 444 Mon Jan. 28 church’s gay and lesbi- Center on Halsted Youth after party downstairs Hydrate Pop Jukebox! an network presents Dr. Program: Homeless at midnight at the with DJ Brett Locascio, Patricia Beattie Jung, Youth Art Show and Hole Bar no cover before mid- speaking on “Catholi- Performance. 7 p.m., Hydrate DJ Mark Picchi- night, $5 after, 3458 N. cism and Homosexual- 3656 N. Halsted St., otti, 3458 N. Halsted Halsted St., hydratechi- ity: Developments in www.centeronhalsted. St., hydratechicago. cago.com Twentieth Century com org Church Teachings.” 7 Man’s Country Alex, p.m., Fireside Hall, Kurtis, Christian and Sun Jan. 27 2524 N. Orchard Paris, 5017 N. Clark St. Berlin Prince Night, DJ Tue Jan. 29 Center on Halsted Youth Sidetrack Meet The Samnation, 954 W. Program: Find Free Candidates night, many Belmont Ave., 773-348- Thu Jan. 24 4975, berlinchicago. Money For College Women and Children local & statewide leg- com seminar. 5-8:30 p.m., First Elizabeth Gregory, islative candidates will Citizens for Deb Mell 3656 N. Halsted St., Ready: Why Women be in attendance, 6-8 Meet and greet with www.centeronhalsted. are Embracing the New p.m., 3349 N. Halsted Deb Mell. Appetizers, org Later Motherhood. 7:30 St., sidetrackchicago. wine and conversation Funky Buddha Lounge p.m., 5233 N. Clark St., com with the candidate. 3-7 Outdanced with E- 773-769-9299, www. p.m., 1449 W. Sum- snaxxx (live), and Eryka womenandchildrenfirst. merdale (Office). 10 p.m.-2 com Sat Jan. 26 Hydrate L Word at 8 a.m., 728 W. Grand Chicago Spirit Brigade p.m., followed by DJ Ave., www.funkybud- Fri Jan. 25 5th Anniversary Jeannette, 3458 N. dha.com Cake Chicago Purple Pas- Party and Fundraiser. Halsted St., hydratechi- POW-WOW Boi’s Will be sion theme featuring Doors open 8 p.m. for cago.com Boi’s featuring Terri Ripley Caine, The Addy cabaret style show, 9 Oak Park Area Lesbian Boi and others. Seating Janes and The Blissters. p.m. performance by and Gay Association 7:30, open mic begins 9 p.m., $5 cover, Red CSB, advance tickets and BUNGALO “Aren’t 8 p.m., $5, Lee’s Un- Line Tap, 7006 N. $15/$20 at door, You Glad the Holidays leaded Nightclub, 7401 Glenwood Circuit Nightclub, www. are Over” Brunch. 1-4 S. South Chicago, pow- Crew Fratboy Friday, with chicagospiritbrigade. p.m., $25 per person, wowchicago@yahoo. Hot Jock Contest, 1st org for info Trattoria 225, 255 com, www.myspace. prize $300 cash, 4804 Circuit Nitro presents Harrison St., Oak Park, com/powwowchicago

25 January 23, 2008 Bucks $2.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $2 Bucks $2 Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Circuit 1st week-Girlbar lesbian night, 2nd Crew Miller Lite pitchers $9, Beergarita/ Sangria/ Jäger, $5 Long Islands WEDNESDAY Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, DJ Hale week-Circuit All-Stars show, hosted by Miss Monsoon pitchers $12, Sam Adams and Sam Hunters Karaoke with DJ Glen, $2 Bud, $4 @mosphere $12 Stoli pitchers, $3 Bud Light Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, all well and Circuit 1st week-Versage Productions’ female Foozie, DJ Teri Bristol, 3rd week-Amigo Lt bottles $3.75, Pasta & Meatballs w/soup or Absolut Martinis drafts pints of Miller Lite draft $1.50, DJ Hale drag show, 2nd week-Lipstick and Lace party, with DJ Markski & Roei Rodriguez, salad $10, Open for brunch 11 a.m. ‘til 1pm. Hydrate $1 drinks all night, no cover before Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30p.m., 12:30 a.m. Spyner’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. - 1:30 women’s hip-hop night, 3rd week-Chix Mix stage performances and hot dancers, 4th VJ Ven from 3 - 9:30p.m., VJ Bobby Marley 10 p.m. Berlin “Just Let Go...”, DJ Larissa, hosted by a.m. women’s dance parties, Last week-Urbano week-Nitro monthly theme parties, DJs and 9:30 p.m. InnExile VJ Brad Shayna X, $3.25 Coronas. Circuit La Noche Loca w/ DJ Fast Freddy & DJ hip hop party theatrical performances Eagle Big screen movie 9 p.m. and midnight, $2 Jackhammer $2.50 well drinks Big Chicks Euchre Club 7:30 p.m., $4 Stoli Rock-O-Mix, Miss Ketty’s show at 10 p.m. Club Krave $12 oversized Long Island, Blue Club Krave $6 flavored Martinis, DJ Pervy house shots Kitty Moon Dyke Dive, featuring performances Martini, $6 Leinie Pitchers, $5 Quesadilla Club Krave Latin night with DJ Saul, Corona Island, Vodka Lemonade/Cranberry Pitchers, Cocktail Spank - go-go boys, DJ Dhanna at Encompass Night Of Stars drag show 9:45 p.m. by local artists from 7 to 10 p.m., dancing and night (Chicken or Veggie) buckets & Tequila specials DJ Rockin’ RC 10 p.m. Gentry Becky Menzie open mike 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. drinks by DJ PJ and Lucky Kleen. $2 PBR, $3 Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic, $1 Pucker, $3 Cocktail Spank--go-go boys at 10 p.m., DJ Cocktail Spank--gorgeous go-go boys, DJ Fred- Crew Shiner Bock pitchers $12, Buckets of Bud Hamburger Mary’s Brunch till 3 p.m., $2 Mimo- Domestics, $4 Well. Jäger shots Timmy Loop, hostess Lisa Lexus die Bain, hosted by Chicago’s very own Cher Select 5/$12, Crew Weiner w/choice of side sas, $5 Slushies & Beer-O-Day special Maneuvers Karaoke Mondays w/ Miss Bobbi Bucks $2.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $2 Crew Labatt Blue bottles $3.75, Goose Island Crew Crew Happy Hour 1/2 priced appetizers $6.75, Open for brunch 11:00 a.m. til 1 p.m., Hideaway Latin/Hip-Hop Nite w/ DJ Ruthless Mary’s Attic Live soap opera “The Ville” at 8 Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots 312 pints $3.50, Buffalo Chicken Salad Po’ 4-6 p.m. (dine-in only), DJ Kris V at 8 p.m. VJ Ven spinning from 6 - 10 p.m. VJ Bobby and dancers by Chicago Beef upstairs, Bar p.m., $10 Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, All import Boy w/choice of side $8, 3rd Thursday of the P.B.R. Cans $2.00, Goose Island Honkers Marley 10 p.m. Bitch Bingo 1st & 3rd Sundays 4 - 8 p.m. minibar Monday Munchies - food provided by beers (bottles & drafts) $3.50 month - God Save The Queen - English pints $3.50, Fish Tacos w/choice of side Eagle $2 house shots, caged dancers, club downstairs, $1 Kool-Aid shots, $5 Jäger, $5 Fire Fly all night after 7:30 pm sponsored by Club Krave $5 Bombs, Starfinder karaoke rock music, half off all English beer, Fourth $9.50, 4th Friday-Frat Boy Friday, w/ Hot room open at 12 a.m. w/Tim Long Islands Ketel One and Red Bull Cocktail $6 Cosmopolitans Thursday of the month - Women Wanna Play Jock Contest at 11:30 p.m., $300 first place Encompass Resident DJ Tiff 11 p.m. Hunters Karaoke 7-11 p.m., Boys Night 11 p.m., Roscoe’s Music Showcase 9 p.m., Lotto Kara- Crew Open for lunch 11:30a.m., Rolling Rock - Berghoff bottles $2.50 prize, Goose Honkers pints $3, sponsored by Hamburger Mary’s Serving Brunch till 3 p.m., $1 drafts, $4 Martinis, DJ Lawrence K oke with cash and prizes 9:30 p.m., $12 Stoli bottles $2.75, Blue Moon pints $3.50, Philly Eagle $2 house shots, cigar smoker—free cigar Nightspots Magazine $2 Mimosas, $5 slushies & Beer-O-Day Hydrate Desperate Housewives at 8 p.m., DJ pink lemonade pitchers, $3 Bud & Bud Light Cheese Steak w/turkey and choice of side w/ 1st drink, club room open 11 p.m. w/Chaz Eagle $2 house shots, caged dancers, club special, kitchen open till midnight Chris Eterno 11:30 p.m. - 4 a.m. bottles, $11 domestic pitchers, $13 import $8.75 Encompass Salsa Night—nacho bar all-you- room open at 11 p.m. w/Chaz Hideaway 34 drink specials (one for every year InnExile Karaoke by Mariah Productions pitchers, $5 frozen drinks Eagle $2 house shots, free pool, alternative can-eat $3.95, Bacardi Mojitos Encompass Karaoke, $4 24 oz. Big Boy Lites they’ve been open!) Jackhammer $2 Bud, Bud Light Scot’s $2.75 all domestic bottles music w/ Dan Gentry Live cabaret Hamburger Mary’s $5 Fruit-Punch Teasers & Hunters Ascent Saturdays with DJ Laura B., Jeffrey Pub Ol’ Skool dance party, no cover Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Encompass All domestic bottled brews $1 Hamburger Mary’s $5 Typhoon Mary teasers & Beer-O-Day special, kitchen open till midnight. $3.50 Bacardi mixers, $4 cover Manhandler Complementary buffet, 6 p.m. Showtunes, 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Hamburger Mary’s $5 Pear-A-Dise teasers & Beer-O-Day specials, kitchen open til 11 p.m. Hideaway Karaoke w/ Jason 8-11 p.m. Hydrate DJ Ralphi Rosario 11 p.m. - 5 a.m. Mary’s Attic Weird Sisters cabaret, 7 p.m., Touché Barstool Jocks - WWF wrestling & Beer-O-Day specials, kitchen open til 11 p.m. Hideaway Male dancers from Chicago Beef downstairs, Male dancers from Chicago Beef InnExile VJ Brad Erickson $10, then Bingo Karaoke at 9 p.m., $3 well sports at 8 p.m., free pizza Hideaway $2 Domestic bottles, $1 Kool-Aid upstairs 11 p.m. - 1 a.m., $10 Martinis - upstairs 11 p.m. - 1 a.m., $1 Kool-Aid shots, Jackhammer Chicago Beef dancers 1-3 a.m. drinks & Lite drafts, $1 off slushies, no cover, shots, $5 Jäger, $5 Long Islands, Movie Nite bartender’s choice $5 Jäger, $5 Long Islands Jeffrey Pub Girls All Night Out dance party, $3 sponsored by Nightspots Magazine downstairs Hunters Hunters Hunks 10:30 p.m., $2 import Hunters Video Dance Party, $2 Miller, $4 cover, cover, show with host Indigo Blue Roscoe’s Male Call hosted by Miss Foozie 5 Hunters $3.50 Smirnoff Martinis, $2 well, $1 bottles, DJ Laura B DJ Dan Manhandler Saturday afternoon movie p.m., Long Island Iced Tea Pitchers for $12, @mosphere $1 well and Bud Light drafts drafts, $4.50 beeer pitchers, DJ Ron G Hydrate Hot Hydrate dancers, sponsored by Hydrate TPAN’s Positively Aware party 8-11 Man’s Country Live nude male stripper show $11 domestic beer pitchers, $13 import Berlin Cheap Trix, hosted by Jay Jay, with DJ Hydrate 1/2 price Martinis, Hy-Drag Review 9:30 Nightspots Magazine, DJ Greg Drescher, $4 p.m. on 2nd Friday of the month, Weekly DJs Maneuvers DJ Sit-n-Spin, dancing, Jello shots Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Chester, $1 well and PBR p.m., also DJ Laura B Finlandia cocktails, $7 Cosmos til 4 a.m., no cover til midnight Mary’s Attic DJ Plez at 9 p.m., $2 house shots, Showtunes 4-9 p.m., best of the 60s-80s, 9 Big Chicks $5.50 Golden Margaritas, $4 Mar- Jackhammer $1 well drinks, $5 cover, DJ Jackhammer Buck Night—Domestic bottles $1 InnExile Here’s the Beef male dancers 11 p.m. no cover p.m.-2 a.m. garitas, $5 Chicken burger night, $3 Meatball Oskar, 3rd week-Destination DJ, choose Jeffrey Pub No cover, free entry pass to first 35 Jackhammer Chicago Beef dancers 1-3 a.m., Rails Salvation Saturdays, Club XL, 766 W Star Gaze All sports shown on 6 ft. projection Sandwiches (dine-in only) Chicago’s next top DJ, $8 cover, $1 well guests to be used Friday or Saturday 4th Fri.-The Flesh Hungry Dog Show, $2 Jackson, 10 p.m. - 3 a.m., 708-802-1705 screen, Karaoke w/ Creagh 7-11 p.m. Bobby Love’s $2 domestic, draft and well Jeffrey Pub Game night—Bid Whist, spades, Maneuvers Thirsty Thursdays w/ DJ Tipsy import bottles Roscoe’s No cover before 10 p.m., $5 cover 3160 Marilyn B. performs drinks. dominoes, darts, drink tickets for every Kid, dancing and half price well, wine and Jeffrey Pub Guys All Night Out dance party, after 10 p.m., $12 Stoli lemonade pitchers, Touché Open at noon, beer bust with Eio, free Bucks $2.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $2 winning hand schnapps, free anonymous HIV testing 9 $3 cover $11 domestic draft pitchers, $13 import red hots, $1.50 Bud & Bud Light drafts, movie Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Mary’s Attic “Maryoke”, $3 well drinks and Miller p.m. - midnight Man’s Country Live nude male stripper show Sidetrack Sidetrack Classics 3 - 9 p.m., Best of night in club room at 10 p.m. Club Krave $1 drafts, $4 draft pitchers, $1 well Lite draft. 8 p.m. door, no cover Man’s Country Special Night, single room $12, Maneuvers DJ Sit-n-Spin, dancing, Jello shots, Sidetrack 9 p.m. - 3 am Cocktail Spank--go-go boys at 10 p.m., DJ Pie Hole All-You-Can-Shove night, $9.99 for locker $8/8 hrs. free anonymous HIV testing 9 p.m. - midnight Star Gaze DJ plays all mixes starting at 10 p.m. Michael Serafini, Hostess Miss Foozie all-you-can-eat slices and a soda Mary’s Attic Amy Armstrong’s “The Fu** It” Mary’s Attic DJ Shoshana at 9 p.m., $2 house 3160 Join Luther & Will for Sexy Senior Satur- Crew Miller High Life bottles $2.75, Rogue Dead Roscoe’s Whatever Wednesdays, $12 Cuervo show, 7 & 8:30 p.m., Terrible Muriel’s comedy shots, no cover days, 8 p.m. - 2 a.m. The Anvil $1.50 drinks all day Guy Ale pints $3.50, BBQ Meatball Sandwich Margarita pitchers, $3 Bud & Bud Light improv at 10 p.m. Rails Dance and drama each Fri. at The Prop Touché Open 3 p.m., 1st week-Great Lakes Berlin D.I.Y.: Make requests from Berlin’s w/choice of side $8.25, Man The Mic Karaoke bottles, $11 domestic draft pitchers, $13 North End Pulse: space for Chgo’s HIV com- House Bears, Weekly fetish parties @ 10 p.m. Club iPod or bring in your own, $2 PBRs, $3.25 with Adam Leblanc from the band Sixteen import pitchers, $5 frozen drinks, free pool munity to relax and meet, in the back bar, Roscoe’s $12 Stoli pink lemonade, Martinis, Room open Heinekens Candles 9 p.m., raffles all day sponsored by TPAN, 6-10 p.m.. Manhattans, $11 domestic draft pitchers, Big Chicks $2 off all pitchers, $3.50 Mandarin Eagle $1 all top shelf cocktails and draft beers, Scot’s $2 off all Cosmos Roscoe’s BINGO with Frida Lay & Honey $13 import Crushes, $1 1/4lb burgers, $5 Veggie Burgers club room open at 11p.m. w/Jim Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Classic West, $3 bottles of Miller Lite and MGD, $11 Sidetrack Showtunes 5-9 p.m., Best of Side- (dine-in only) Encompass Karaoke, $4 24 oz. Big Boy Lites Sidetrack, 8 p.m.-2 am domestic draft pitchers, $13 import track 9 p.m. - 2 a.m. @mosphere Supper and strippers—light buffet Bucks $2.50 domestics drafts & bottles, $2 Gentry Musician showcase w/Beckie Menzie Spin What the Fuck Wednesdays, $1 well Scot’s $3.75 all drafts Spin Shower Contest at midnight from 6-8 p.m., hot male dancers 10 p.m. Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Hamburger Mary’s $5 Pretty-in-Pink Teasers & drinks, $5 cover Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3 - 8 Spyner’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. - 1:30 Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m., Charlie’s Bitch Bingo with Frida & Lauren, Beer-O-Day special, kitchen open till 11pm Star Gaze Pool Nite, $1 off imported beers p.m.,Comedy Night videos 8 p.m. - 2 a.m. a.m. 2 for 1 admission with coupon available at 11:30 p.m. Hideaway Stoli S’Tuesdays­­­­—$3 shots, $4 3160 Paul Marinaro & Judy Roberts 9:30 p.m. Star Gaze Cheap Booze Night — $2 well, Star Gaze Free salsa lessons with Angel from www.thebatonshowlounge.com. Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, $1 off Bud/Bud mixed any flavor, $1 Kool-Aid shots, $5 Jäger, Touché Bijou Night featuring hot classics and $2 domestic bottles 9:30-10:30 p.m., DJ plays salsa at 10:30 p.m. Berlin MODifyd, DJ Chester mixes alternative Light bottles, free pizza, raffles $5 Long Islands latest XXX videos, drawings for passes to 3160 Jen Porter, 9:30 p.m. Touché 1st week - MAFIA, 2nd week - Porn and pop. $2 Lites $3.25 Heinekens. 1st Sun- Circuit Mondays with Mz. Ruff-n-Stuff & the Hunters Retro Re-wind—$2 Miller bottles, $2 Bijou Theater, $2 Rolling Rock bottles Touché Handballers Night—Club Room open at Star poker party, 3rd week - Hot Ash Smoker / day: Madonnarama w/ DJ Riley, Last Sunday: Rocketts, DJ Stoney Mike’s Hard Lemonade, DJ Brad 10 p.m., midnight drawing for Slam Dunk lube ONYX Club night, Club Room open at 10 p.m. Prince Nation w/ DJ Samnation Cocktail Cocktails with bartenders Michael Hydrate Retro Flashback—$15 for an Absolut THURSDAY Big Chicks Free BBQ/inside picnic at 4:30 p.m., and Dion Martini and a manicure or tarot reading, $4 FRIDAY SATURDAY $2.50 vodka lemonades Crew Berghoff bottles $2.50, Stella Artois pints Absolut cocktails, $3 Bud bottles, retro with @mosphere “Hot Mess” Thursdays with male Bobby Love’s Open at noon with Connie $3.75 Half Price Chicken Wings six $2.50/ DJ Laura B dancers, $7 Bud Light pitchers, $5 martinis @mosphere Hot male dancers at 10:30 p.m., @mosphere Hot male dancers at 10:30 p.m., Bucks Sunday cookout, $2 Schnapps and twelve $4.00, open for lunch 11:30am., 1/2 InnExile VJ Brad Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. DJ Eric Hall DJ Timmy Loop, DJ Juno, hostess Anique Kool-Aid shots priced wings 5 p.m. ‘til close. Jackhammer Karaoke with Creagh 10 p.m., Berlin Elevated, DJ Heather Doble spins under- Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. Cell Block Open 2 p.m., $1.50 pints Miller Lite Dick’s RU Crazee? Free pool $2.50 well drinks ground, tech-house, & electro-house. Special Berlin Cosmix: DJ Greg Haus, electro, progres- Berlin Twisted w/ DJ’s Chester & Larissa, $5 all day and night, DJs Freddie Bain and Chris Encompass Call cocktail party—$2.50 select Mary’s Attic Retro Rewind ‘80s night, half-price guest DJ feature sets every week, $2 sive, and alternative music & video, $5 after after 11:00 p.m. / $7 after 1 a.m. Spinazzola call drinks drinks PBRs, $3 cover after 11:00 p.m. 11:00 p.m. Big Chicks Euchre Club 6 p.m., DJ and dancing Circuit Noché Latina w/ DJ Fast Freddy & DJ Gentry Cabaret Scot’s $2 off all Martinis Big Chicks $10 Pitchers of Blue Moon, $2.75 Big Chicks DJ and dancing 10 p.m., no 10 p.m., no cover Alex Perez, Veronica Zaid’s show at 9 p.m., Green Dolphin Street Boom Boom Room, Sidetrack Retro videos 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Rolling Rock, $4 Cosmos, Chicken specials cover, 1/3 lb cheeseburger $5, $3 basket of Bobby Love’s Featured artist nite, trivia shots & 1st week-Noche Vaquera, free entry for Monday’s hottest house since forever, 9 p.m. - Star Gaze Dart nite, free pool night—$5 wing basket, $6 Chicken breast appetizers (zucchini, mushroom, onion rings, giveaways w/ DJ Tim cowboy attire 4 a.m., $5 after 11 p.m. 3160 Geoffery Cuellar performs sandwich $5 chickenburger poppers) Bucks $2 Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Club Krave $2 drafts & $5 draft pitchers , House Hamburger Mary’s $5 Mango-Tango Teasers & Touché Hard Core Tuesdays, club room open Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic & draft, $1 Bobby Love’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. Cell Block Open 2 p.m. w/ Scott, DJ Earl Mama’s Bingo at 7 p.m., followed by karaoke Beer-O-Day special, kitchen open ‘til 11 p.m. at 10 p.m. Pucker - 1:30 a.m. Pleasure Cocktail DJ Pete Augusta, go-go boys at 9 p.m. Hideaway Womyn’s Nite, $1 Kool-Aid shots, $5 26 January 23, 2008 Bucks $2.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $2 Bucks $2 Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Circuit 1st week-Girlbar lesbian night, 2nd Crew Miller Lite pitchers $9, Beergarita/ Sangria/ Jäger, $5 Long Islands Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, DJ Hale week-Circuit All-Stars show, hosted by Miss Monsoon pitchers $12, Sam Adams and Sam Hunters Karaoke with DJ Glen, $2 Bud, $4 @mosphere $12 Stoli pitchers, $3 Bud Light Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, all well and Circuit 1st week-Versage Productions’ female Foozie, DJ Teri Bristol, 3rd week-Amigo Lt bottles $3.75, Pasta & Meatballs w/soup or Absolut Martinis drafts pints of Miller Lite draft $1.50, DJ Hale drag show, 2nd week-Lipstick and Lace party, with DJ Markski & Roei Rodriguez, salad $10, Open for brunch 11 a.m. ‘til 1pm. Hydrate $1 drinks all night, no cover before Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30p.m., 12:30 a.m. Spyner’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. - 1:30 women’s hip-hop night, 3rd week-Chix Mix stage performances and hot dancers, 4th VJ Ven from 3 - 9:30p.m., VJ Bobby Marley 10 p.m. Berlin “Just Let Go...”, DJ Larissa, hosted by a.m. women’s dance parties, Last week-Urbano week-Nitro monthly theme parties, DJs and 9:30 p.m. InnExile VJ Brad Shayna X, $3.25 Coronas. Circuit La Noche Loca w/ DJ Fast Freddy & DJ hip hop party theatrical performances Eagle Big screen movie 9 p.m. and midnight, $2 Jackhammer $2.50 well drinks Big Chicks Euchre Club 7:30 p.m., $4 Stoli Rock-O-Mix, Miss Ketty’s show at 10 p.m. Club Krave $12 oversized Long Island, Blue Club Krave $6 flavored Martinis, DJ Pervy house shots Kitty Moon Dyke Dive, featuring performances Martini, $6 Leinie Pitchers, $5 Quesadilla Club Krave Latin night with DJ Saul, Corona Island, Vodka Lemonade/Cranberry Pitchers, Cocktail Spank - go-go boys, DJ Dhanna at Encompass Night Of Stars drag show 9:45 p.m. by local artists from 7 to 10 p.m., dancing and night (Chicken or Veggie) buckets & Tequila specials DJ Rockin’ RC 10 p.m. Gentry Becky Menzie open mike 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. drinks by DJ PJ and Lucky Kleen. $2 PBR, $3 Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic, $1 Pucker, $3 Cocktail Spank--go-go boys at 10 p.m., DJ Cocktail Spank--gorgeous go-go boys, DJ Fred- Crew Shiner Bock pitchers $12, Buckets of Bud Hamburger Mary’s Brunch till 3 p.m., $2 Mimo- Domestics, $4 Well. Jäger shots Timmy Loop, hostess Lisa Lexus die Bain, hosted by Chicago’s very own Cher Select 5/$12, Crew Weiner w/choice of side sas, $5 Slushies & Beer-O-Day special Maneuvers Karaoke Mondays w/ Miss Bobbi Bucks $2.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $2 Crew Labatt Blue bottles $3.75, Goose Island Crew Crew Happy Hour 1/2 priced appetizers $6.75, Open for brunch 11:00 a.m. til 1 p.m., Hideaway Latin/Hip-Hop Nite w/ DJ Ruthless Mary’s Attic Live soap opera “The Ville” at 8 Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots 312 pints $3.50, Buffalo Chicken Salad Po’ 4-6 p.m. (dine-in only), DJ Kris V at 8 p.m. VJ Ven spinning from 6 - 10 p.m. VJ Bobby and dancers by Chicago Beef upstairs, Bar p.m., $10 Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, All import Boy w/choice of side $8, 3rd Thursday of the P.B.R. Cans $2.00, Goose Island Honkers Marley 10 p.m. Bitch Bingo 1st & 3rd Sundays 4 - 8 p.m. minibar Monday Munchies - food provided by beers (bottles & drafts) $3.50 month - God Save The Queen - English pints $3.50, Fish Tacos w/choice of side Eagle $2 house shots, caged dancers, club downstairs, $1 Kool-Aid shots, $5 Jäger, $5 Fire Fly all night after 7:30 pm sponsored by Club Krave $5 Bombs, Starfinder karaoke rock music, half off all English beer, Fourth $9.50, 4th Friday-Frat Boy Friday, w/ Hot room open at 12 a.m. w/Tim Long Islands Ketel One and Red Bull Cocktail $6 Cosmopolitans Thursday of the month - Women Wanna Play Jock Contest at 11:30 p.m., $300 first place Encompass Resident DJ Tiff 11 p.m. Hunters Karaoke 7-11 p.m., Boys Night 11 p.m., Roscoe’s Music Showcase 9 p.m., Lotto Kara- Crew Open for lunch 11:30a.m., Rolling Rock - Berghoff bottles $2.50 prize, Goose Honkers pints $3, sponsored by Hamburger Mary’s Serving Brunch till 3 p.m., $1 drafts, $4 Martinis, DJ Lawrence K oke with cash and prizes 9:30 p.m., $12 Stoli bottles $2.75, Blue Moon pints $3.50, Philly Eagle $2 house shots, cigar smoker—free cigar Nightspots Magazine $2 Mimosas, $5 slushies & Beer-O-Day Hydrate Desperate Housewives at 8 p.m., DJ pink lemonade pitchers, $3 Bud & Bud Light Cheese Steak w/turkey and choice of side w/ 1st drink, club room open 11 p.m. w/Chaz Eagle $2 house shots, caged dancers, club special, kitchen open till midnight Chris Eterno 11:30 p.m. - 4 a.m. bottles, $11 domestic pitchers, $13 import $8.75 Encompass Salsa Night—nacho bar all-you- room open at 11 p.m. w/Chaz Hideaway 34 drink specials (one for every year InnExile Karaoke by Mariah Productions pitchers, $5 frozen drinks Eagle $2 house shots, free pool, alternative can-eat $3.95, Bacardi Mojitos Encompass Karaoke, $4 24 oz. Big Boy Lites they’ve been open!) Jackhammer $2 Bud, Bud Light Scot’s $2.75 all domestic bottles music w/ Dan Gentry Live cabaret Hamburger Mary’s $5 Fruit-Punch Teasers & Hunters Ascent Saturdays with DJ Laura B., Jeffrey Pub Ol’ Skool dance party, no cover Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Encompass All domestic bottled brews $1 Hamburger Mary’s $5 Typhoon Mary teasers & Beer-O-Day special, kitchen open till midnight. $3.50 Bacardi mixers, $4 cover Manhandler Complementary buffet, 6 p.m. Showtunes, 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Hamburger Mary’s $5 Pear-A-Dise teasers & Beer-O-Day specials, kitchen open til 11 p.m. Hideaway Karaoke w/ Jason 8-11 p.m. Hydrate DJ Ralphi Rosario 11 p.m. - 5 a.m. Mary’s Attic Weird Sisters cabaret, 7 p.m., Touché Barstool Jocks - WWF wrestling & Beer-O-Day specials, kitchen open til 11 p.m. Hideaway Male dancers from Chicago Beef downstairs, Male dancers from Chicago Beef InnExile VJ Brad Erickson $10, then Bingo Karaoke at 9 p.m., $3 well sports at 8 p.m., free pizza Hideaway $2 Domestic bottles, $1 Kool-Aid upstairs 11 p.m. - 1 a.m., $10 Martinis - upstairs 11 p.m. - 1 a.m., $1 Kool-Aid shots, Jackhammer Chicago Beef dancers 1-3 a.m. drinks & Lite drafts, $1 off slushies, no cover, shots, $5 Jäger, $5 Long Islands, Movie Nite bartender’s choice $5 Jäger, $5 Long Islands Jeffrey Pub Girls All Night Out dance party, $3 sponsored by Nightspots Magazine downstairs Hunters Hunters Hunks 10:30 p.m., $2 import Hunters Video Dance Party, $2 Miller, $4 cover, cover, show with host Indigo Blue Roscoe’s Male Call hosted by Miss Foozie 5 TUESDAY Hunters $3.50 Smirnoff Martinis, $2 well, $1 bottles, DJ Laura B DJ Dan Manhandler Saturday afternoon movie p.m., Long Island Iced Tea Pitchers for $12, @mosphere $1 well and Bud Light drafts drafts, $4.50 beeer pitchers, DJ Ron G Hydrate Hot Hydrate dancers, sponsored by Hydrate TPAN’s Positively Aware party 8-11 Man’s Country Live nude male stripper show $11 domestic beer pitchers, $13 import Berlin Cheap Trix, hosted by Jay Jay, with DJ Hydrate 1/2 price Martinis, Hy-Drag Review 9:30 Nightspots Magazine, DJ Greg Drescher, $4 p.m. on 2nd Friday of the month, Weekly DJs Maneuvers DJ Sit-n-Spin, dancing, Jello shots Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Chester, $1 well and PBR p.m., also DJ Laura B Finlandia cocktails, $7 Cosmos til 4 a.m., no cover til midnight Mary’s Attic DJ Plez at 9 p.m., $2 house shots, Showtunes 4-9 p.m., best of the 60s-80s, 9 Big Chicks $5.50 Golden Margaritas, $4 Mar- Jackhammer $1 well drinks, $5 cover, DJ Jackhammer Buck Night—Domestic bottles $1 InnExile Here’s the Beef male dancers 11 p.m. no cover p.m.-2 a.m. garitas, $5 Chicken burger night, $3 Meatball Oskar, 3rd week-Destination DJ, choose Jeffrey Pub No cover, free entry pass to first 35 Jackhammer Chicago Beef dancers 1-3 a.m., Rails Salvation Saturdays, Club XL, 766 W Star Gaze All sports shown on 6 ft. projection Sandwiches (dine-in only) Chicago’s next top DJ, $8 cover, $1 well guests to be used Friday or Saturday 4th Fri.-The Flesh Hungry Dog Show, $2 Jackson, 10 p.m. - 3 a.m., 708-802-1705 screen, Karaoke w/ Creagh 7-11 p.m. Bobby Love’s $2 domestic, draft and well Jeffrey Pub Game night—Bid Whist, spades, Maneuvers Thirsty Thursdays w/ DJ Tipsy import bottles Roscoe’s No cover before 10 p.m., $5 cover 3160 Marilyn B. performs drinks. dominoes, darts, drink tickets for every Kid, dancing and half price well, wine and Jeffrey Pub Guys All Night Out dance party, after 10 p.m., $12 Stoli lemonade pitchers, Touché Open at noon, beer bust with Eio, free Bucks $2.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $2 winning hand schnapps, free anonymous HIV testing 9 $3 cover $11 domestic draft pitchers, $13 import red hots, $1.50 Bud & Bud Light drafts, movie Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Mary’s Attic “Maryoke”, $3 well drinks and Miller p.m. - midnight Man’s Country Live nude male stripper show Sidetrack Sidetrack Classics 3 - 9 p.m., Best of night in club room at 10 p.m. Club Krave $1 drafts, $4 draft pitchers, $1 well Lite draft. 8 p.m. door, no cover Man’s Country Special Night, single room $12, Maneuvers DJ Sit-n-Spin, dancing, Jello shots, Sidetrack 9 p.m. - 3 am Cocktail Spank--go-go boys at 10 p.m., DJ Pie Hole All-You-Can-Shove night, $9.99 for locker $8/8 hrs. free anonymous HIV testing 9 p.m. - midnight Star Gaze DJ plays all mixes starting at 10 p.m. Michael Serafini, Hostess Miss Foozie all-you-can-eat slices and a soda Mary’s Attic Amy Armstrong’s “The Fu** It” Mary’s Attic DJ Shoshana at 9 p.m., $2 house 3160 Join Luther & Will for Sexy Senior Satur- MONDAY Crew Miller High Life bottles $2.75, Rogue Dead Roscoe’s Whatever Wednesdays, $12 Cuervo show, 7 & 8:30 p.m., Terrible Muriel’s comedy shots, no cover days, 8 p.m. - 2 a.m. The Anvil $1.50 drinks all day Guy Ale pints $3.50, BBQ Meatball Sandwich Margarita pitchers, $3 Bud & Bud Light improv at 10 p.m. Rails Dance and drama each Fri. at The Prop Touché Open 3 p.m., 1st week-Great Lakes Berlin D.I.Y.: Make requests from Berlin’s w/choice of side $8.25, Man The Mic Karaoke bottles, $11 domestic draft pitchers, $13 North End Pulse: space for Chgo’s HIV com- House Bears, Weekly fetish parties @ 10 p.m. Club iPod or bring in your own, $2 PBRs, $3.25 with Adam Leblanc from the band Sixteen import pitchers, $5 frozen drinks, free pool munity to relax and meet, in the back bar, Roscoe’s $12 Stoli pink lemonade, Martinis, Room open Heinekens Candles 9 p.m., raffles all day sponsored by TPAN, 6-10 p.m.. Manhattans, $11 domestic draft pitchers, Big Chicks $2 off all pitchers, $3.50 Mandarin Eagle $1 all top shelf cocktails and draft beers, Scot’s $2 off all Cosmos Roscoe’s BINGO with Frida Lay & Honey $13 import SUNDAY Crushes, $1 1/4lb burgers, $5 Veggie Burgers club room open at 11p.m. w/Jim Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Classic West, $3 bottles of Miller Lite and MGD, $11 Sidetrack Showtunes 5-9 p.m., Best of Side- (dine-in only) Encompass Karaoke, $4 24 oz. Big Boy Lites Sidetrack, 8 p.m.-2 am domestic draft pitchers, $13 import track 9 p.m. - 2 a.m. @mosphere Supper and strippers—light buffet Bucks $2.50 domestics drafts & bottles, $2 Gentry Musician showcase w/Beckie Menzie Spin What the Fuck Wednesdays, $1 well Scot’s $3.75 all drafts Spin Shower Contest at midnight from 6-8 p.m., hot male dancers 10 p.m. Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Hamburger Mary’s $5 Pretty-in-Pink Teasers & drinks, $5 cover Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3 - 8 Spyner’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. - 1:30 Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m., Charlie’s Bitch Bingo with Frida & Lauren, Beer-O-Day special, kitchen open till 11pm Star Gaze Pool Nite, $1 off imported beers p.m.,Comedy Night videos 8 p.m. - 2 a.m. a.m. 2 for 1 admission with coupon available at 11:30 p.m. Hideaway Stoli S’Tuesdays­­­­—$3 shots, $4 3160 Paul Marinaro & Judy Roberts 9:30 p.m. Star Gaze Cheap Booze Night — $2 well, Star Gaze Free salsa lessons with Angel from www.thebatonshowlounge.com. Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, $1 off Bud/Bud mixed any flavor, $1 Kool-Aid shots, $5 Jäger, Touché Bijou Night featuring hot classics and $2 domestic bottles 9:30-10:30 p.m., DJ plays salsa at 10:30 p.m. Berlin MODifyd, DJ Chester mixes alternative Light bottles, free pizza, raffles $5 Long Islands latest XXX videos, drawings for passes to 3160 Jen Porter, 9:30 p.m. Touché 1st week - MAFIA, 2nd week - Porn and pop. $2 Lites $3.25 Heinekens. 1st Sun- Circuit Mondays with Mz. Ruff-n-Stuff & the Hunters Retro Re-wind—$2 Miller bottles, $2 Bijou Theater, $2 Rolling Rock bottles Touché Handballers Night—Club Room open at Star poker party, 3rd week - Hot Ash Smoker / day: Madonnarama w/ DJ Riley, Last Sunday: Rocketts, DJ Stoney Mike’s Hard Lemonade, DJ Brad 10 p.m., midnight drawing for Slam Dunk lube ONYX Club night, Club Room open at 10 p.m. Prince Nation w/ DJ Samnation Cocktail Cocktails with bartenders Michael Hydrate Retro Flashback—$15 for an Absolut Big Chicks Free BBQ/inside picnic at 4:30 p.m., and Dion Martini and a manicure or tarot reading, $4 $2.50 vodka lemonades Crew Berghoff bottles $2.50, Stella Artois pints Absolut cocktails, $3 Bud bottles, retro with @mosphere “Hot Mess” Thursdays with male Bobby Love’s Open at noon with Connie $3.75 Half Price Chicken Wings six $2.50/ DJ Laura B dancers, $7 Bud Light pitchers, $5 martinis @mosphere Hot male dancers at 10:30 p.m., @mosphere Hot male dancers at 10:30 p.m., Bucks Sunday cookout, $2 Schnapps and twelve $4.00, open for lunch 11:30am., 1/2 InnExile VJ Brad Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. DJ Eric Hall DJ Timmy Loop, DJ Juno, hostess Anique Kool-Aid shots priced wings 5 p.m. ‘til close. Jackhammer Karaoke with Creagh 10 p.m., Berlin Elevated, DJ Heather Doble spins under- Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. Cell Block Open 2 p.m., $1.50 pints Miller Lite Dick’s RU Crazee? Free pool $2.50 well drinks ground, tech-house, & electro-house. Special Berlin Cosmix: DJ Greg Haus, electro, progres- Berlin Twisted w/ DJ’s Chester & Larissa, $5 all day and night, DJs Freddie Bain and Chris Encompass Call cocktail party—$2.50 select Mary’s Attic Retro Rewind ‘80s night, half-price guest DJ feature sets every week, $2 sive, and alternative music & video, $5 after after 11:00 p.m. / $7 after 1 a.m. Spinazzola call drinks drinks PBRs, $3 cover after 11:00 p.m. 11:00 p.m. Big Chicks Euchre Club 6 p.m., DJ and dancing Circuit Noché Latina w/ DJ Fast Freddy & DJ Gentry Cabaret Scot’s $2 off all Martinis Big Chicks $10 Pitchers of Blue Moon, $2.75 Big Chicks DJ and dancing 10 p.m., no 10 p.m., no cover Alex Perez, Veronica Zaid’s show at 9 p.m., Green Dolphin Street Boom Boom Room, Sidetrack Retro videos 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Rolling Rock, $4 Cosmos, Chicken specials cover, 1/3 lb cheeseburger $5, $3 basket of Bobby Love’s Featured artist nite, trivia shots & 1st week-Noche Vaquera, free entry for Monday’s hottest house since forever, 9 p.m. - Star Gaze Dart nite, free pool night—$5 wing basket, $6 Chicken breast appetizers (zucchini, mushroom, onion rings, giveaways w/ DJ Tim cowboy attire 4 a.m., $5 after 11 p.m. 3160 Geoffery Cuellar performs sandwich $5 chickenburger poppers) Bucks $2 Schnapps and Kool-Aid shots Club Krave $2 drafts & $5 draft pitchers , House Hamburger Mary’s $5 Mango-Tango Teasers & Touché Hard Core Tuesdays, club room open Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic & draft, $1 Bobby Love’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. Cell Block Open 2 p.m. w/ Scott, DJ Earl Mama’s Bingo at 7 p.m., followed by karaoke Beer-O-Day special, kitchen open ‘til 11 p.m. at 10 p.m. Pucker - 1:30 a.m. Pleasure Cocktail DJ Pete Augusta, go-go boys at 9 p.m. Hideaway Womyn’s Nite, $1 Kool-Aid shots, $5 27 January 23, 2008 from the booth by Randy Pubert & Dick Groeper Packin’ Papi from Pitbull Productions starring Dillon, Da Bomb and Onyx

At da’ crib two men on the down low watch G: Ready for action. porn and get heated. P: The other guy looks like my friend Oscar. G: He has that thug’s arms behind his back JUDGING P: I like the style of this one. and he’s riding him like a snow sled. A PORN G: The sound quality is a little low. P: A perfect video for the winter! BY ITS P: Well, they are keeping it down low; they G: They are going for a trip around the COVER don’t want the neighbors to hear. world. G: There is no foreplay with this scene. P: Wait a minute. The bottom is chewing Pubert: This is P: He didn’t even suck his dick. They just gum. That’s a big no-no for the camera. the Platinum skipped that and went to fucking him on a G: Well, it is amateur, remember? series, watch couch! P: But where is the director? This is against for some bling! G: The Puerto Rican guy just looked at the everything I was taught about filming a Groeper: Time camera. movie. to step it up P: You know it’s an amateur video when for the New they do that. And Dillon is in the last scene at home in his Year. Get some G: The quality is not bad for this type of flick. kitchen with a new homie. different eth- P: Wow, he’s giving it to him. nicities in your G: That’s our cover boy. P: Something is cooking in that kitchen. articles. P: Well, the bottom looks like he is enjoying G: He pulled his head down with his dish P: You know it. towel. it, Homeslice. How can I top G: The lighting is too bright. I guess it’s bet- P: Dillon is in three scenes in this video. a quote like, ter than it being too dark. Seems like overkill by most porn standards. “Nuttin’ all P: I like Papi’s cross necklace. G: They moved into the living room. We get night” on the G: He has a huge scar on his face. a tour of his place. back cover? P: I think he got knifed. P: And all that clutter--where is Nate Berkus when you need him?!? Next scene begins with a young stud teach- G: Dillon is all about the ass slapping. ing another piano lessons. He wants to play P: Yeah, and the “bend me over the couch” Snoop Dogg but when he can’t they find position. other things to do. G: Ended with a facial. Creamy! P: You have to really like the main star Dil- P: This Papi ain’t packin’! lon to purchase or rent this video. G: No, he isn’t. He looks small. G: This video you can really judge by the P: But it looks like his snake is growing. cover then. G: It’s like a snake that keeps getting longer. It’s a creeper. Pubert: Thumbs up the butt. P: Hey, that futon just flips down into a bed. Groeper: Thumbs down the throat. How convenient. If you would like Papi to bring you a pack- After that, our number one Papi is back with age order it from www.thugmart.com or call a new friend. toll free 877-thugporn. For comments or concerns write jerry@ G: It’s Ol’ Scarface again! windycitymediagroup.com and thanks for P: He just did a somersault into the bed. the fan letter, Randy! 28 January 23, 2008

6 legs, 6 arms, various bits of flesh and no faces during the Chicago Takes Off teaser show at Hydrate

photo by Kirk 30 January 23, 2008 6 legs, 6 arms, various bits of flesh and no faces during the Chicago Takes Off teaser show at Hydrate