The WALRUS The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. - Lewis Carroll

Vol LXIV, No. 6 St. Sebastian’s School April 2011 Senior Class Leaves Legacy

By Alex Spear ‘11 Avon, we lost Peter White to Catholic won’t be united by Seb’s or brought S E N I O R E D I T O R Memorial, and Wellesley High School together within the school’s walls lost Stu Porter for one year but then anymore—so it’s a good thing we’ve The Class of 2011 will, on June 9th, got him back. These are just a few come together as a class and are 2011, walk out of St. Bartholomew’s classmates that left and will be forev- friends now, knowing we’ll be life- Church as the most recent St. Sebas- er remembered as a part of our class, long friends forever. tian’s alumni to date. We will no lon- and there are more that I’m missing. This class will be remem- ger walk the Seb’s halls as students, We’ll always remember Gunnar for bered for its academic prowess. The we will no longer attend Corporate getting a D, Robbie for his unreal matriculation list, the GPA’s, SAT Chapels, and we will no longer be math skills, Nick Lee for getting into scores, and transcripts can attest to captains of sports teams or leaders arguments with Mr. Nunan about this. Mr. Nerbonne repeatedly tells of extracurricular school clubs. I can death, guns, and bullets…, Peter us how much we’ve boosted the promise you, though, that this class White for being hilarious all the time, school—but he never fails to remind that’s about to graduate will never and Stu Porter for scrapping Teddy us we’re idiotic for not going to Holy be forgotten and its presence will al- Downs about who knows what. Cross…I’m sure Mr. Cleary would ways be felt—this class is too unique, These kids that are gone will always agree. too diverse, too smart, too special, be a part of us. This class will be remem- too involved, and too loved to ever This class will be remem- bered for its athleticism. Every sports be forgotten. bered for being a class of separation season the senior involvement Before getting into any- but then unity. This class has always and impact on each team is signifi- thing else, this class’ legacy starts been comprised of different groups cant. This class is full of multi-sport with the idea that it’s one of the of friends. But that’s in the past—just athletes and multi-sport captains smallest graduating classes in St. this year, the seniors have figured with many athletes prepared to Seb’s history. With only fifty-five kids out a way to hangout all together play collegiate sports all across the graduating, the Class of 2011 has and put aside differences. Whether country. The entire school and Seb’s suffered the losses of many former we’re playing pond hockey, going to community will remember the effect Tom Keefe ‘11 blasts the audience with a jolt of melodious singing during the Admitted Student bash classmates just leaving Seb’s. Let’s someone’s house, playing pick-up the class of 2011 has had on St. Seb’s see…we lost Gunnar Hughes to basketball, or just hanging out doing athletics. Salisbury School, we lost Robbie nothing. We’ve realized that there There really is so much to Harwood (Sash) to Boston University really isn’t much time where we’ll all talk on top of the ones that have Admitted Student Tours, High, we lost Nick Lee to Loomis be together since we’ll all be head- left us, our unity, our impressive Chaffee, we lost Noah McMillan to ing off to our respective colleges. We Continued on Page 3 Reception Recruit New Arrows By Tom Hoff ‘11 Nick Coskren ’05 then came their families haven’t, so Mr. Burke to the podium. St. Sebastian’s per- will keep repeating it. It also didn’t SENIOR EDITOR fectly prepared him for Harvard and hurt that Mr. Burke mentioned his his first job. He reminisced about the new grandson, born to a teacher at On Thursday, April 7, St. fun times with his classmates, and, the school who just happens to have Sebastian’s opened its halls to the of course, the great lengths to which the last name “Burke.” The moms in admitted students for maybe the best teachers go for the students here. the audience loved that. By the way, reception of the year. The admitted His speech connected with me, be- congrats to the Burke family. students night is geared towards cause, as my time is winding down, I Everyone filed downstairs two groups of prospective students: realize what he’s saying. But it was a for some food in the dining hall that those who are still deciding whether gift that he was also able to connect they’d never serve during a regular or not to choose St. Seb’s, and those with the prospective students and day of lunch. The hungry 12-to-14- who have committed and would like their parents. Seb’s was happy to year-olds loved the shrimp, but the to become a bigger part of their new have him back to speak. cookies were the main attraction. school. This year, almost everybody Up next was Mr. Wilbur, the chair of There, charitable, volunteering, and had already accepted their invitations the science department and a phys- downright amazing students like to become arrows. I found this inter- ics teacher. He spoke about the ad- myself, as well as somewhat amazing esting because the admitted students vances that St. Seb’s has made in the teachers (if you don’t have a sense of night was what swung my decision science department specifically, with humor, that was a joke) spoke to the way back in sixth grade, which is why the robotics club and Rube Goldberg prospective students about either I feel a need to help at the April night. team being great examples. During the tough decision they’d have to To understand how long ago that was, my St. Seb’s career, I’ve definitely make, or the relief of knowing where both the Red Sox and Patriots were seen the great advances that he they’re going to school. Everyone defending champs, and the Bruins spoke of. Obviously, those advances who I talked to was committed, so I As the school contemplates the legacy of the Class of 2011, our beloved were mired in a lockout. Maybe they will only be aided by the new sci- just ended up asking them if they’d should be in a lockout right now. Wiliam Judge remains at the center of our hearts as we near graduation. ence center that will impress next take Spanish or Latin. Hopefully On these nights, at least two year’s admitted students even more. I was helpful in reminding them students, one former student, one Then Mrs. O’Malley, mother of Sean that Latin happens to be a dead parent, one teacher, and Mr. Burke ’09, Jake ’10, and Brian ’13 spoke. language, and that it’s much more St. Seb’s Honors Poetry Month speak. However, this year, we also had Her speech did a great job of easing helpful in life to know a second accomplishments of our fellow scrolls, and now we have Twitter!” By Kevin Patterson ‘13 entertainment from two seniors. Tom the parents’ worries and making language. Americans. Why, however, do we Every Monday morning in Corporate I think Marky Mark put it Keefe and Tom Nunan sung, while them more confident in their sons’ The only part of the night celebrate the poets and not, say, Chapel, two or three students will well when he said, “Yo, it’s about that Nunan also played the piano. While new school. Her best example was that surprised me was the lack of the filmmakers or the painters? We present, in front of the entire school time / to bring forth the rhythm and unexpected, this aspect of the night of Mr. Burke talking to her daughter accepted students who still had to acknowledge poetry because it is community, a poem they have the rhyme.” was an excellent addition to the re- by name, followed by the daughter make a decision. Again, that night universal. It requires no well-trained memorized. Though some may con- Yes, it’s April, and those ception. Then, Cedric Depestre, a new remarking that Mr. Burke had spent in April of 2005 was what convinced eye, no expensive machinery, nor sider this a fear-inspiring task, Tom familiar with the St. Sebastian’s eighth grader, spoke on his recent more time talking to her than her me to become an arrow. Now, the unusually large blocks of free time. Keefe, the first student to present calendar will recognize this month experiences at St. Seb’s. His speech own headmaster. Mrs. O’Malley night has mainly become a celebra- Anyone who is literate can read and this year, spoke in favor of the recita- as National Poetry Month. April is both assured the committed students showed no worries in how her sons tion of those who have accepted examine poetry; all that is required is tions. He memorized and recited when the walls of St. Bart’s are filled that they had made the right deci- were set up for college and life be- their application. It’s difficult to say a little motivation. “The Good-Morrow” by John Donne with the harmonious lines of accom- sion, and it was also aimed to show yond – definitely what the parents in why there are fewer students who At St. Sebastian’s, we are and found the experience to be an plished poets, when English teachers the few who were still making their the audience wanted to hear. have to make their choice, but I gifted to have an English depart- educational one. “When you just make the extra effort to teach the decision what they would be a part of Finally, Mr. Burke concluded definitely don’t think it’s a negative ment full of poetry enthusiasts. read a poem,” Keefe said, “you don’t understanding of the craft, when early in their St. Seb’s career. Next up as he always does. As I like to put representation of the admissions Perhaps no English teacher at Seb’s fully understand it right away. When students annually rediscover the art was senior Dillon Ecclesine. Usually, it, he did his best job of bragging program. If anything, it means that is a bigger lover of poetry than Mr. you memorize it, though, you learn of the verse. Sure, it’s nice to have the senior’s and the middle school about the school while still being more and more students can be Simoneau. A published poet him- its story and what it means. When some school tradition, but what’s so student’s speech differ because, while modest. Like Mr. Wilbur, Mr. Burke sure of their decision because of the self, Mr. Simoneau had a lot to say I was up there reciting ‘The Good- great about National Poetry Month? both are geared towards the prospec- talked about the strides that St. Seb’s greatness that the admissions pro- when I asked him what he thought Morrow’, I knew what everything Why this tradition? I think I know. tive students and their parents, the has made in his time, and, once gram has shown them. But, here’s of National Poetry Month. Although meant.” Memorization is a great way In my research, Mr. Chris Lynch senior’s puts slightly more weight into again, it didn’t hurt to mention the the one conclusion that I can defini- he would prefer to celebrate poetry to understand and appreciate po- pointed me toward a statement the parents. Why? Well, how many new science center that will double tively draw from the Thursday night year-round, he said, “It’s nice to etry, and, as one of the facets central released by the American Academy sixth graders are thinking of how well the size of the academic building. almost two weeks ago: Doesn’t it spend time reacquainting ourselves to our celebration of National Poetry of Poets. It reads, “National Poetry a school prepares you for college and I’m sure you’ve heard it, but it always say something that so many people with older art forms to celebrate the Month, it is important that as many Month brings together publishers, the real world? I know I wasn’t six helps to mention the 7:1 student to who had already accepted their history of the human race.” Because as possible participate in it. booksellers, literary organizations, years ago. But parents are, and Dillon faculty ratio, the average class size invitation were willing to show up of his strong love for poetry, he It has become a tradition libraries, schools, and poets around played into that emotion perfectly as of 11, Seb’s’ ability to teach Peter De- to a completely optional night? Un- welcomes the chance to present for a senior to face the daunting the country to celebrate poetry and he spoke of how much he has grown Matteo-like geniuses at a level way less they came for the free food, the new writers to his students; he likes task of memorizing and reciting its vital place in American culture.” and how well he is prepared for life above their own grade, the caring families simply wanted to enjoy their to keep them literarily well-rounded. Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. As Americans, we share heritage with after high school. Mr. Burke named faculty, the former students who edit sons’ new school for one more night When I asked about the effect tech- This year, Dillon Ecclesine’s perfor- many poetic geniuses, like Robert Dillon’s choice of colleges, which im- their roommates’ papers in college, than they needed to. That kind of nology has on poetry, Mr. Simoneau mance was flawless. The highlight of Frost, Henry Wadsworth Longfel- pressed the parents; but, through his the parents who show gratitude, and enthusiasm is the kid that makes Mr. thoughtfully responded, “Technol- the recitation was without a doubt low, and Langston Hughes, to name memories and display of gratitude for the overall growth of a St. Seb’s stu- Wishart really happy right now if he’s ogy is great to help transfer poetry. when Ecclesine deemed a perhaps a few. It seems quite fitting that St. Seb’s, Dillon connected well with dent. Again, I know you’ve heard all reading this article. First we had bards sing the poems, we should celebrate the amazing Continued on Page 3 the prospective students. that, but prospective students and then we shared them with papyrus NEWS SPORTS Greatest Debate Ever? Does Not Appear in Photo Spring Sports: Who’s The Better Coach in Film: Anyone on the Chicago Bulls except Baseball and Lacrosse start with Patches O’Houlihan or Phil Weston?... Page 6 Derrick Rose. winning records... Page 8 Page 2 THE WALRUS April 2011 Nunan: Some Senior Service QUOTES of the Guidelines to Follow By Tom Nunan ‘11 service into high gear instead of list off all of these tasks not to make having to juggle everything at once. senior service seem cumbersome or “Let’s start from the very You won’t know about any of this vexing, but rather to emphasize to beginning, a very good place to though, unless you examine all the you (and to myself) that if I had done start” (Oscar Hammerstein II). From weeks from mid-April to early June all of these things weeks before as I MONTH the time I was very young, when when Commencement takes place. could have, I would have been under spring rolled around each year, I My next error was that I significantly less pressure. “On the course evaluations, some of my seniors said that I would often observe my dad com- didn’t even bother to peruse the Thirdly, I would advise pleting many tasks in an effort to condensed directory of possible students to keep an open mind should try to be nicer. I responded, ‘I’ll try being nicer if you keep senior service running smooth- placements (all senior service docu- about their placement options. I had ly: stuffing envelopes to be mailed ments are posted on Edline) until af- essentially considered working only try being smarter.’” -- Mr. Nerbonne to the supervisors of the many sites; ter March break, and I didn’t lay eyes in a nursing home kind of setting making phone calls to supervisors to on the full directory until well into because I have always gotten along make sure everything was happen- April, when I was supposed to have very well with my grandparents, but ing according to plan; and of course, found a placement by April 1. This when that first placement seemed to “Eventually, a girl is going to say yes [to dancing with you], as Commencement really drew brings me to my second piece of fall through, I was forced to consider near, tracking down seniors who advice: Find a placement as soon as other options. I will now be working because no one is that ugly to get consistently rejected.” either had not attended enough you get your schedule. This warning at the Italian Home For Children in weekly discussion groups at school against procrastination sounds both Jamaica Plain, a place I liked so much -- Ike Okwerkwu ‘13 regarding their service, or who had trite and hypocritical—I know. I also when I visited it that I wish I had completed so few hours that their know that you will be hearing this considered it more seriously in the graduation was in jeopardy. from my dad and others at your class beginning. I realized quickly that the “Mr. Richter, you have no soul.” My dad helped to create meetings so frequently that you will Italian Home was a place where kids the senior service program many want them to go away and you will severely in need of help could go to -- Nick Chappel ‘11 years ago, so that seniors would wonder why they started telling you get that assistance, and that loving have an opportunity to put their about this so early. The fact is that and cutting-edge professionals were faith into action by finally doing securing your place of work far in working their absolute hardest to work that was not so academic yet advance is the best thing to do. In provide the assistance. But, it took “Mike Petro is one of my favorite weird people.” very meaningful—more meaningful, the beginning I was considering only me longer to arrive at this under- it could be argued, than any other one place. I didn’t talk to the super- standing because the Italian Home -- Tom Murphy ‘11 kind of work to which they had been visor of that placement until March was rarely in my mind. Explore as accustomed in the past. This would 31, at which point she told me that many options as possible in dif- be a chance for seniors to go out two other students from St. Seb’s ferent settings, not just the areas into the world and help those most had already expressed their inter- which pop out at you first. Google “I wouldn’t mind if the Canadiens’ bus tipped over.” in need. They would form close per- est to her, and that she was worried placements about which you know sonal relationships with those they about having too many of us there or only partly know to find out more. -- Tom Hoff ‘11 encountered and would give their at the same time because the facility Make sure you choose a setting in best effort in an attempt to make life was not very big. I started to panic which you know you can be of help. better for the ones they served. at the thought that there might Finally, regard this opportu- “My life is over. Take me out to the stables and [end this].” Since I’ve been familiar not be enough to do at this place- nity for service as important. I know with the service program for almost ment, so I started to look for another that I’m seeing it as a way for me to -- Alex Hunnewell ‘11 forever, and since one of my parents one. Before I could confirm that the put my faith into action. No matter heads up the program, and since placement could take me, I had to how much I may disagree with the information about the program and call one supervisor in the directory Catholic Church on certain issues, the exhortation to find a placement and email another supervisor listed its commitment to helping those in “Harvard University Class of 2015!” are made clear to the senior class for that same placement. Neither of need may induce no dissent. As stu- WAY before the March break, you’d them responded for about a day, so dents of a Catholic school, we have -- Peter White, a former Arrow who think that I would have had all my I then made another phone call. I an opportunity to be part of the arrangements in place by the middle then set up a time to meet with one Church’s tradition of social justice, definitely isn’t going to Harvard. of March break at the latest, right? of the supervisors and to see the so it is our duty to put forth our best WRONG, of course. placement itself. I had to make sure effort in the spirit of love. Having The first thing I should have I met with her soon because the se- said that, the beauty of this program done was to get a feel for the end-of- niors had to submit a form regarding is that one certainly need not be the-year schedule right away. The their individual placements in only a Catholic, Christian, or religious in end of the school year for a senior few days (by April 8, and that was an order to appreciate it. At its core, can be tricky. For example, the last extension). I also had to make sure the senior service program is about day of non-AP courses for seniors that the meeting could fit into the helping others—an idea shared by is April 15. However, APs continue supervisor’s super-tight schedule. I all humanity regardless of religion. until the AP exams for those classes have been administered. This year AP exams take place the weeks of Monday, May 2 and Monday, May 9, so it would be foolish to think that seniors are “done” on April 15. The number of hours a senior must work decreases as his AP course load increases. Actually take the time to calculate how many total hours you must work. Figure out if it is worth it to start working before your AP classes are finished. This entails actually visiting the College Board’s Web site to view the exam schedule. If your exams are done relatively early, you may be able to take care of all of your classes and then kick your Read the Sign. Kenny Chen ‘13 Goes All-State By Thayer Wade ‘13 For stringed instruments, such as ture builds up the person’s journey the viola, they include musicianship, towards heaven, but just as soon as Over March vacation, which indicates overall maturity with he gets there, he is again thrust back The Walrus Kenny Chen ’13 was selected to the instrument, right and left hand towards ‘point A.’ So he starts from play the viola for the Massachusetts A St. Sebastian’s Publication technique, and many others. There hell again, but this time he makes it All-State Orchestra. After months of are 17 total places for violas in the all the way to heaven.” This journey is preparation and scrutinizing audi- orchestra, so only the musicians with created by very intense music. tions, Kenny performed with other Senior Editors: Edmund Murphy ‘11, Dillon Ecclesine ‘11, Tom Hoff ‘11, Tom the top 17 scores in the state are Mr. Grohmann, who, when talented musicians from all over Keefe ‘11, Alex Spear ‘11 selected for the orchestra. he was younger, was involved in Massachusetts in Symphony Hall on After succeeding in each the New Jersey Youth Symphony, Saturday, March 26. Apprentice Editors: Dobby the House Elf of these auditions, Kenny and the an organization similar to the New Since December, Kenny other musicians that were selected England Conservatory, can attest has been preparing for the audi- for the All-State Orchestra rehearsed to Kenny’s accomplishment. “It’s a Head Writers: Ryan Bacic ‘11, Nick Creegan ‘11, Nick Chappel ‘11, Andrew tions for the orchestra. The All- in the Boston World Trade Center on testimony to how hard he works States are run by the Massachusetts DeMatteo ‘11, Tom Murphy ‘11 the Thursday and Friday before the outside of school with music and his Music Educators’ Association, and performance. They stayed in hotels involvement with the New England they are separated into four groups: at the World Trade Center in order Conservatory,” Mr. Grohmann said. Orchestra, Concert Band, Chorus, CONTRIBUTORS: Mike Petro ‘13, Matt Fechtelkotter ‘12, Chris Picher ‘13, to have more time for rehearsal. “We “The time it takes to prepare for and Jazz Band. For the auditions, just practiced a ton each day,” Kenny these things is…countless hours.” Kevin Wolfe ‘12, Matt Donovan ‘13, Tom Nunan ‘11, Nick Cortese ‘11, Lou the state is split up into five districts. noted. “Probably around eight hours Mr. Grohmann also noted that Kenny Heck ‘11, John Donovan ‘12, Will Adams ‘11, Pat McGowan ‘14, Cam Kelly Kenny auditioned in the eastern or so, total, and you get a lunch is among the great musicians of St. district for the orchestra. In the ‘14, Julian Matra ‘13, Will Vietze ‘11, Peter DeMatteo ‘13, Ryan Wolfsberg ‘13, break and dinner break. You get a Sebastian’s. Brian Richter ’09 also district auditions, the musician Bobby Wright ‘12, Chris Stadtler ‘12, Peter Cimini ‘12, Sam Racine ‘11, Mi- little bit of free time on Friday Night, performed the cello in the All-States has to place in the top 50% of the but other than that, there was no as a senior, after two years of prepa- chael Hoff ‘13, Mickey Adams ‘13, John Barrack ‘11, Jared Chase ‘11, Kenny musicians based on a set scoring free time.” ration. “Kenny is ahead of the game,” Chen ‘13, Sean Frazzette ‘12, Kevin Patterson ‘13, Jack Goldman ‘14, Niko system, and then he can move on On Saturday, in Sym- Mr. Grohmann said. to audition for the All-States. There Fischer ‘14, Jay Daukas ‘14. phony Hall, the orchestra performed Kenny had a very positive are three parts to the audition for Mahler’s Symphony No. 1, Finale (IV), experience in performing in the the All-States: the musician has to Editors Emeritus: Brendan Ecclesine, Ned Kingsley, David Ruffolo which is also known as Titan. Mahler All-State Orchestra. “I got more out perform the piece that the All-State was a composer who had a misfortu- of it than I expected, because you Orchestra will play in Symphony Faculty Advisor: Mr. Dan Drummond nate childhood, as his father treated don’t have kids coming just from Hall, play two three-octave scales, him brutally and his mother died one conservatory. There are many and sight-read music. The musicians when he was young. Mahler, howev- conservatories in the Boston area The Walrus is the official student newspaper of St. Sebastian’s School. The Walrus can prepare by practicing the solo er, was very interested in nature, and and Massachusetts. You have kids of the piece and the scales on which seeks to provide news and entertainment for the St. Sebastian’s community, as well as nature inspired his music. It is for this coming from New England Con- they will be tested, and they can to provide an open forum for students to offer opinions on issues related to world, na- reason that Mahler is a universally servatory, Boston Youth Symphony bring the sheet music to the audi- recognized composer. The Finale Orchestra, and other conservatories, tional, and school affairs. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect opin- tion. However, the musicians are of Mahler’s First Symphony, the so it was a very good experience.” ions of the faculty advisors or senior editors of The Walrus or of St. Sebastian’s School. not told what they will need to play piece that Kenny and the All-State Congratulations to Kenny Chen for for sight-reading, and this requires Correspondence to The Walrus should be addressed to The Walrus, c/o St. Sebas- Orchestra performed, is a depiction his dedication and his tremendous tremendous musical experience in tian’s School, 1191 Greendale Avenue, Needham, MA, 02492. Senior Editors and produc- of going from hell to heaven. Kenny accomplishment in playing for the both reading the music and playing commented, “The way the entire All-State Orchestra. tion staff reserve the right to reject, edit, or admit any or all submissions. To submit an the instrument. In the auditions, the finale opens is with a lot of discord article, email it to [email protected]. musician’s score is determined by and chaos, and basically, the struc- separate scores for many categories. April 2011 THE WALRUS Page 3 Chappel’s Senior Forecasts By Nick Chappel ‘11 As the senior class approaches graduation, many of us have figured out where we are going to college. After college we will be on our own in the real world with jobs. Because of my ability to predict everything accurately (I had a perfect March Madness bracket, and also have predicted every Super Bowl correctly since 1993), I have come up with a list of what every senior will end up doing in his life.

Will Adams– He will become the swim coach for Dana Hall, but eventually will be fired for bullying teachers at the school over the internet and move back to Illinois, where he broke every swimming record because no one there knows how to swim. Dan Aisenberg– Professional photographer. Ryan Bacic– Bacic will be the best man at Callow’s wedding, and will move back to Norfolk to teach high school freshmen how to perform so badly at a freshman Semi-formal that your date ends up moving to Minnesota. John Barrack– After failing in the guitar industry, John will go on to Hollywood where he will make his way to the top, and cap off his career on Broadway, co-starring with the boy from the video, “Gingers have souls.” Des Bergin – In his senior year at Harvard, Des will be checked in a hockey game and say, “Ow!” breaking the 29-year streak of never saying a word. Get it? 29? Like, he’ll be old because he’s playing college hockey and average age of graduating of college hockey players is 43. Will Shakespeare would be proud of Patterson’s poem, which he likened to “a poore man’s sonnet”. Charlie Callanan – Charlie will become a bookie but eventually will be fired by everyone he works for. They’ll realize that all he actually wants to do is take their money. He will then try to rob a bank, be caught, and go to jail. Forever. Arrows begin Poetry Month Connor Callow – After marrying Alyssa, Callow will coach hockey for Braintree High School, though he wanted Poetry Month. Here goes nothing: to get a job at Thayer Academy, but was not quite a good enough coach. Continued from page 1 environment in which I find myself, James Cerra – James will write the hit song, “Seep”, on the guitar, and then teach AP Literature and AP Composi- unsuspecting Mr. Greg Lynch his one quite conducive to the explora- tion at Seb’s, and will be best friends with Mr. Simoneau. tion of poetry, I was inspired to find “son, [his] own Telemachus.” Recog- Indeed a poet I am surely not. Nick Chappel – Exiled to a foreign country because of these predictions. some old poems that I wrote, so I nizing an outstanding performance, So why, you ask, consider writing this? Jared Chase – Once Jared goes to Skidmore, no one will ever see him again. I think he gets lost in Saratoga. reviewed some of my old poetry that To honor poems past? It is a thought. the church erupted into thundering Charles Conigliaro – Charles will play in the Arena Football League, coaching high school robotics on the side. I wrote in Mr. Cressotti’s Freshman Perhaps it’s more that I’d achieve that applause after Ecclesine had con- James Connolly – James will be pulled over for going 103 miles per hour in a 45 miles per hour zone, but he will cluded. Writing Class, and I found these bliss not get a ticket because he will be so mean to the police officer to the extent that the police officer cries and This Monday, we heard Robert haiku: So often said that famous poets found quits his job. Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Contained within their daily thoughts Snowy Evening” from Mike Haley, and sight. Nick Cortese–Nick will end up working at Cha-Cha answering the most random questions that people have, but and Mike Petro shared Billy Collins’ Na na na na na Or do I yearn to find a peaceful sound will be fired because his boss will realize that Nick actually does not know anything, it just seems like he does “Introduction to Poetry”, and Chris Na na na na na na na That I created? Is this why I write? because he says everything in a weirdly confident manner. Picher boldly recited “Heavy Sum- Na na na Batman! Such reason, greatly flawed, I do not Wes Cosby – After the thirty-year reunion for our class, Wes and I will become friends on Facebook once again. I mer Rain” by Jane Kenyon. All three want, bet the pictures have changed since 8th grade! sophomores clearly expressed their The number eighteen: Yet still I thirst to fill this empty void. Nick Creegan – Nick will move to Spain and be the next star of Nacho Libre. (because he can speak Spanish love and understanding of poetry One bigger than seventeen I need no magnum opus which to AND wrestle!) through three eloquently delivered Nineteen minus one flaunt, Andrew DeMatteo – Andrew may not make it in the real world, but will dominate all others. poetic recitations. But just a poem, words I’ve placed, Dillon Ecclesine – Neither may Dillon… Just kidding, chalk another one up! Harvard is a great feather in the Surrounded by such inspiring po- employed. cap??!!? LOLOL!!!11!!!1! <3<3. etry, I found myself looking deeper Despite the fact that I’m no poetic And after all, ‘tis not the poem’s great, John Fee – Fee will never be good at FIFA and his only comeback to anyone ever will be “Yeah?” into some of the most well-known genius, but I thought I’d write a little John Fiore– John will join Charles in the AFL and also coach robotics with him. He will coach Nick Creegan in poems of all time. Because of the something in honor of National wrestling in Spain. Nick Franco – Nick will become a lawyer and will win every case he is ever presented because each opposing lawyer he ever faces will become too annoyed with him while trying to make an argument. Lou Heck – Lou will become very successful in life after four years at the University of Dallas. Tough Spring Stretch for Juniors Tom Hoff – Hoff will become an analyst on ESPN, but one day someone will question his views, and he and his brother will take it out on ESPN by beating all the others analysts… and by beating them at fantasy football. Kevin Wolfe ‘12 a rough estimation of 2 SAT Is, 3 spending absurd amounts of time subject tests, and 3 AP exams). The studying, completing assignments, Alex Hunnewell – Alex will be the star on a hit 2 PM soap opera. He will be the character crying and complain- hours only multiply as the students or taking on any task that will help ing about everything. Spring has arrived. For enter into senior year. Adding to that them raise their GPAs to the highest Tom Keefe – Tom and his brother James will resurrect the band TASTE, with their hit song titled, “We both teach most of the school community, that time and pressure is preparation. possible points. As our school presi- at St. Sebastian’s, and our souls don’t lie, and can you taste it, yeah?” means warm weather, sports on the For many, high scores on the SAT I, dent Patrick McLaughlin notes, high Dillon Kerr – Dillon will be the first Arrow to go to the MLS, but won’t ever show up to the games in uniform. turf and various outdoor venues, subject tests, and even AP exams school is like a marathon. Whether or Paul Lee – Paul Lee will be kicked out of college because the teachers will not think that it is normal to pretend and the winding down of a long and are only possible through extensive not he takes part in that marathon you are asleep in class. arduous school year. For the junior and arduous review. Providing a does not make his adage any less David Leith – David will try to be a stand-up comedian, but after he realizes no one thinks he is funny, he will class, however, the new season number of hours that juniors spend pertinent. The long race is near the welcomes a daunting and harshly take up racecar driving, just like dad. prepping for College Board exams is finish line after the junior spring, and overwhelming level of pressure and DericMcCottrell–Deric will go ham in the NBA and be the fastest NBA player to ever reach 2000 points. He’ll nearly impossible, but for the many with the easily understood meta- stress. The combination of standard- then sign a marketing contract with Gummiworms. that do need to acquaint themselves phor one can only assume that the ized testing, AP exams, and the aca- GerardMcEleney – Gerard will have a job driving the Canton bus to Dexter School every day. with the unique questions asked by last leg of high school is the most demic workload may seem impossi- Donny McGuirl – Today, Donny said, “Hey, I really want to hang out with you in college.” Well that’s not in your the test makers the process can be unbearable. ble to overcome for the juniors. With future, my friend. like having a sixth academic class. With this article I hope to the fourth quarter already in session, Joe McIntyre – Joe won’t ever understand anything...except when he does. Several educational institutions have give no impressions of ungrateful- the final effort made by each junior Teddy Mead –Teddy will be the backup goalie for SMU soccer. even begun to overlook SAT I scores; ness or bitterness toward the educa- to maximize his transcript potential Edmund Murphy – After marrying Riley, Edmund will look forward to his sophomore year at Middlebury. After however, the majority of American tional system. I am extremely grate- will require the utmost determina- failing to go pro in baseball, Edmund will turn to writing, but no one will publish his work. Looks like the pub- universities and colleges look to ful to have the opportunity to study tion and discipline. the College Board to rigorously rate in such a challenging environment. lishers don’t care about all those A+’s on literary analysis papers, do they? I like to attribute much their candidates in academic ability. However, as a high school student, I Tom Murphy – When you want to know what Tom Brady’s completion percentage was in the last game he of the junior year induced stress to I do believe that setting a national naturally despise standardized test- played, turn to Murf, because that’s what statisticians do. the College Board and its monop- standard for colleges to judge is ing and those who create it. I only Lucas Mykulak – Lucas will skip class to go to the dentist. oly over standardized tests. While necessary for a fair and merit based wish with this article to highlight Tom Nunan–Tom will win the Nobel Peace Prize because he has literally never done anything belligerent in his standardized testing is important educational system, but having to and offer some inferences on the sit- life. in discerning the academic ability scrupulously assess every aspect of uation in which my classmates and I Jordan Perry– Jordan will come back to Seb’s to coach wrestling with Mr. Ryan. of a student, the College Board has a high school student’s academic re- are placed. Complaints aside, there is Corey Peters – According to Corey, he is going to do very well in life. Maybe a CEO? clearly overstepped its bounds in cord through exhausting and often much to be hopeful for in this season Sam Racine – Sam will be put in a mental institution because he will never say one thing that makes sense to this realm. Perhaps out of a desire superfluous examination is foul and and beyond. Standardized tests are to raise even more money for its anyone, and no one will ever see him not in a straitjacket again. wrong. Nevertheless, the hours of important, but they are by no means non-profit organization, or because J-Rod–Wherever J-Rod goes to college, he will be crowned most annoying-yet-endearing kid in the school. test taking vary amongst the student the deciding factor for one’s life after of an overly zealous passion for Scott Smith – While applying for jobs, Scott will remain undefeated with job acceptances. And everyone will body, but it is without a doubt that high school. Great scores should be academics, the board has created know about it. each junior at Sebs has felt and will celebrated, but if one struggles with an absurdity of tests ranging from Alex Spear – After marrying Jennie, Alex will play for the new baseball team, The Sand Bar Docks. He will be the feel a great load of stress with the the many tests, there is no need to the SAT I to some 50 combined President of SADD at Wake Forest. College Board craze in the spring. worry. As for academics, if one puts subject and AP tests. Not only is the Robbie Spencer – Robbie will do better in life than Connor Wiik, because he is clearly smarter than he is. The second factor in the all the needed time and effort forth, variety of testing intimidating, but Zane Stanton – Zane will be hired by comedians to sit in the crowds of their shows so they will be sure that at junior year spring stress festival is both teachers and colleges will the sheer length of each test is also least one person will laugh at every single joke they make. academics. Either because of the notice that. In my final words, I say obnoxious. For the elite high school Tim Stoddard – Tim will not be able to function in the real world because the only thing he understands is phys- College Board or the universities that the best option for juniors is to community, the universities and themselves, the best high schools in stay focused and put as much effort ics. Katie will have to do everything for him. colleges have accepted this mode the nation have no other option but forth as possible during this spring Brian Strachan – Brian will lose interest in football because of all the books he reads in his free time that he of testing, leaving juniors in the full to make their courses extremely rig- season. The schoolwork is painful would have never imagined reading as a child. wrath of the College Board mon- orous. As an example, Harvard would and the SATs and APs are heinous, Chris Sullivan – Chris and Sean Duffy will be the next two members of “The Sound a Gun Makes” Bros. ster. Those who take the SAT I and most likely not accept a student who but if one seizes the opportunity to Sean Sullivan – Sean will run cross-country for Georgetown and win the race where everyone has to literally run other AP exams spend up to 4 hours has spent four years in an easy aca- maximize one’s potential in all areas across the country. testing in each sitting. Depending demic environment. Consequently, of the high school rigor, there can be Phi Tran – Phi will set the record for shaking his head at people and saying “Wow.” He will never find out how he on how many AP, subject, and SAT I teachers demand the most out of no possible regrets in the future. So was accepted at Tufts yet wait-listed at Holy Cross. exams a student plans to sit, he may pupils in the year. With only a short to juniors: take the challenge day by Murph van der Velde – Murph will lead Harvard lacrosse in goals. spend over 20 hours testing dur- number of weeks left in the school day, set goals, and hold yourselves to ing his junior spring alone (I made Will Vietze – He will marry Lea and at their wedding will sing, “Lea, you are so special.” year, juniors may find themselves a high and ambitious standard. Patrick Wallace – Patrick may never graduate from high school, so my prediction is moot. Donovan Ward – DWard will major in Computer Science at UVM and sit back and chill all day every day forever. Chris Warner – Chris will be the third base coach for the Red Sox because he knows every secret signal every baseball player needs to know – Alex Spear let him in on all the little secrets. Connor Wiik–Wiik will move to England because there it is legal to drive on the left side of the road. Senior Class Legacy

Continued from Page 1 other up as we grieved together, felt So as we prepare to gradu- better together, and remembered ate and move on, we will hold Will academic status, and our top-notch our friend together. Through this Judge in our minds, hearts, and souls athleticism and leadership. horrific experience, we came closer forever. But there is one quality that together as a class, became a better, In essence, I think we will sets this class over the top, and it’s more caring, and closer class, and be remembered as the class that perseverance. we all know that the person who can endure anything, fight through As everyone knows, remem- brought us together and continues anything, and become better people bers, and will never forget, this class to bring us together is Will. We miss because of our adversity simply lost William Judge to an unexpected, him but we know he’s still with us— because we have each other. sudden death on the lacrosse field and will be with us forever. We are on a beautiful April 24th, 2007 all motivated by his family’s courage evening. With the coming days and and optimism since Will’s death— weeks following this terrible occur- we get our perseverance from their rence, we as classmates picked each perseverance. Page 4 THE WALRUS April 2011 Moot Court Nearing the Finals By Joe Dudley ‘12 standout in Mr. Jenkins’s English, his finals—their opponents Dudley and side will have a well-written speech, Fechtelkotter. This junior duo will This year’s moot court has but will they actually understand certainly have their work cut out for provided some intriguing cases the case well enough to answer Mr. them. and exciting matchups. The final Cleary’s questions? Will the Shake- The only team to have four has almost been set with only speare competition winner, Julian, won two matches is Joe Dudley one match remaining: Thai and simply sound so good that anything and Matt Fechtelkotter. Due to the O’Connor V. Matra and Petro. The he says will convince Mr. Cleary of bracketing, they got placed into the winner of this match will face Wal- his victory? Only time will tell. bracket in a sort of play-in situa- lace and Balboni in the final four. The case they must argue is Vernonia tion similar to the NCAA basketball The other two teams squaring off School District V. Acton. Acton is a tournament. They have beaten any are Keefe and Franco against Dudley seventh grader who plays football cupcakes either. In the first round, and Fechtelkotter. For those of you at Vernonia middle school, and he is Matt and Joe beat Kevin Looney and who do not know what moot court suing the school for forcing him to Alexander Moore, first time mooters. entails, I will give a brief overview. undergo drug tests that all athletes The following round brought Bobby Moot court is a mock trial, with in Vernonia are required to take. Wright and Lou Heck, and although each team first starting off with ten The classic argument of the fourth both first time moot court partici- McLaughlin notes the similary between the seals of St. Sebastian’s and the Seal of the Presidency of minutes to present their case. After and fourteenth amendment will pants, this team could have done the United States with unabashed glee and a self-aggrandizing laugh. the initial presentation, Mr. Cleary, take place on April 14th. With Acton damage to the bracket if given the the organizer and judge, along with winning twice by the sides of Franco chance. This experience against two his fellow judge either Mr. Dadigian and Keefe and Balboni and Wal- talented teams will work for Matt or Mr. Schell pepper each team with lace, and Vernonia winning once by and Joe’s, with two cases under their Exclusive Interview with questions to see how well each side Dudley and Fechtelkotter, it seems belt and experience from last year, can defend themselves. After the anything could happen. they certainly know the ropes. They round of questions, each team has As I mentioned earlier the can only hope that their experi- five minutes to conclude their case President McLaughlin three current final four teams are ence can prepare them for anything but cannot present any new infor- Franco and Keefe, Balboni and Wal- Keefe and Franco throw at them. By Jay Daukas ‘14 mation. Before I preview each of lace, and Dudley and Fechtelkotter. The last final four team is Aidan Q: What do you have planned for this year’s speech? the remaining teams, special thanks The favorite appears to be Franco Balboni and Patrick Wallace. Aidan A: As a true gentleman and scholar, I can’t reveal too much of what’s in my speech, but just like my weekly addresses should be given to Mr. Cleary, who and Keefe, as they went to the finals and Patrick beat the team of Kevin I’m hoping that everyone gets a laugh out of the funny stuff and takes to heart the serious stuff. picks the cases and deals with last year and have the only all senior Patterson and Chris Riley to make everyone’s busy schedule with team. No matter who wins the next it to the semi-finals. Both debate Q: How do you feel about your competition? understanding and flexibility. match, Franco, Keefe, and Wallace pros hope to bring their wide skill A: I know that there are kids who plan to run against me, and I respect them for that. It takes a lot of courage to get In the final quarterfinal are the only seniors remaining in the set to the Moot Court final and take up there in front of the whole school and deliver a speech in the hopes of taking out an incumbent. I have to ap- match, there are two untested competition. the championship while their at it. preciate that. On the other hand, I feel as though I care about student council and the position of president—some teams facing off. Neither teams Nick Franco and Tom Keefe Interestingly enough, Aidan and might say too much. And the commitment that I bring to the position and to my weekly speeches largely outweighs of Terry O’Connor and Ben Thai, have earned their spot with one Patrick are both varsity lacrosse my commitment to most of my other endeavors. I also feel as though all too often people decide to run for the juniors, nor Julian Matra and Mike victory over Frazzette and Cimini, ju- players. These two hope that they wrong reasons. Petro, sophomores, have ever moot- niors, who competed in moot court will be able to hoist not only an ISL I said it last year and I’ll say it again--this has never been about my transcript. Being in one club for two years, no mat- ed before. Will O’Connor’s and Thai’s for the first time. They fought val- championship but a moot court ter how important it is to me or any of you, is going to get me into a better school. I think that that sort of speaks to experience in the class room and iantly against Franco and Keefe, but championship as well. the honesty of what I’m trying to do here. I really cherish this opportunity that I’ve been given and I want so badly to better understanding of the United fell due to Franco and Keefe’s great As the final four draws ever nearer, return for a second term. So, I guess I would say to anyone planning to run against me: by all means go for it, compe- States constitution give them the teamwork. Last year’s runners up, the excitement also grows. One tition is the spirit behind so much of what we do, but do realize how much this means to me and how badly I want it. upper hand? Or will Matra’s and are thirsty for a championship and can only hope that these final four Have honest intentions going into the election and know that I’m not going down without a fight. Petro’s experience in public speak- will not be stopped easily. The only matches of Moot Court will be as ex- ing prove to be the deciding factor? thing that stands between Franco citing as the rounds which precede Q: Can we (the student body) expect your speech to be as funny as little Ike’s? It’s safe to say, with Terry being a and Keefe and another place in the them. A: First off, Ike’s speech was one of the Top 5 funniest things to ever happen at Seb’s during my time here. Props to him for that. I think that the best thing about it was the element of surprise. No one knew what to expect when he got up there and he just blew everyone away—It was brilliant. For me, the element of surprise is really never there. The pressure is on to be funny every week, and even funnier on election day. People expect me to be making jokes daily, and it’s pretty much sink-or-swim from there. Don’t get me wrong, I love the pressure, it keeps me on my toes, but it also all but eliminates this element of surprise. Don’t worry though. I’ve always got a few tricks up my sleeve. I wouldn’t try to outdo a performance like Ike’s, but you guys should know that I never disappoint. Or is it that I never fail to disappoint? Depends how you look at it....either/or, I guess.

Q: How do you compare your campaign for president to Obama’s campaign? A: I try not to align myself with specific politicians or political issues, especially during such volatile times in United States government. With that in mind, I’m lucky to be competing for a position in which I don’t have to play dirty politics or pander to voters of a certain political background. I can just be myself and hope for the best. Now, having said that, I think the position of Student Council president demands quite a bit more than the position of President of the United States. Even still, they don’t give me so much as my own semi-to-very luxurious office, let alone an entire house. Barack gets the better end of the deal on this one. Keeping that in mind, it seems as though Obama’s campaign was successful thanks in large part to his powerful public speaking skills and promises of hope. These tactics helped him woo voters across the political spectrum. If you look closely, for the most part I’m promising the same thing. After a year of Monday morning chapels I feel at home up on the podium. I’m now as comfortable ad- dressing the entire school as I am speaking with you one-on-one. Also, my message this year is definitely one of hope. Last year I became just the second junior in recent memory to be elected president. Even though the odds were stacked against me, I didn’t back down. I knew I wanted it so I went for it. Becoming Student Council President has always been a dream of mine, and realizing that dream was an indescribable thrill for me. This year I’m coming back to complete my goal and finish the job that I started last year. I feel as though just by doing this I’m showing people that if you set the bar high for yourself and you’re really willing to work for it, you can achieve whatever you set out to do.

Q: Any thing special planned for next year if you get re-elected? We all hope this year’s Moot Court finals will be as stimulating and entertaining as last year’s bonanza. A: As of today I’ve already begun work on several big projects to be completed by the end of this year and the begin- ning of next year. I hope to be re-elected in part to see these projects through to the end. And also, of course, I have a plethora of phenomenal ideas on deck that I hope will make an impact on our everyday lives next year. While I Int. Club Closing A Busy Year came up with a good chunk of these ideas myself, I think it’s a beautiful thing that many of these ideas have come from fellow students. I’ve always been committed to allowing every opinion and every voice of the Student Body to By Niko Fischer ‘14 in Germany, during World War II. He of views”. In addition to new movies, be heard. Thanks to everyone welcoming that idea, I’ve been able to get tremendous input from kids in every grade. I think I’ve dragged this interview out long enough, my sincere apologies, but if I could make one final closing state- The International Club employed Jews in his factory and new exhibits, and new fundraising, ment to my people: Who values the position of president over his own safety and reputation? Who is there bringing has been busy this semester, and labeled them essential workers to “the international club continues to the heat every Monday, whether something big is going on that week or not? Who can make everything he bakes elections have been held for next make sure that they wouldn’t be sent donate to our child in Bolivia,” Mrs. satisfying and delicious? Who loves you? year’s officers. The new leaders will to the camps. In addition, the club Schwimmer informed me. Fund- If you can answer these questions and be 100% sure, if you can make your choice on election day with clear eyes, be incoming president Brendan made a trip along with the MPA to raising efforts have been put in and love in your heart, with joy in your heart...If you can do that gentleman - you’re perfect. Dunphy, vice president Peter Cimini, the Museum of Science to view Race: place to aid victims of the Japanese and secretary Curtis Yandow. The Are We So Different?. This exhibit tsunami and earthquake. Stay tuned International Club also cosponsored starts by disproving any scientific for announcements in the coming the showing of the movie Schindler’s basis for race, arguing that race is an days for donation opportunities to invention of society. According to ‘70’s Dance Superb As Always List with the History Club. Schindler’s the Japanese Red Cross. The Interna- Mrs. Schwimmer, the exhibit goes on list is a true story of a business- tional Club will end the year with its By Tom Keefe ‘11 School musical, a scene in which a blue top hat, fro wig, gold vest, to explore the history of race and its man from the Czech Republic who annual banquet. The club will dine Patty Mac pictured an N’sync music yellow sport coat with yellow short- affects on society, considering “bio- SENIOR EDITOR saved over 1,000 Jews from a certain at a restaurant, possible Fire & Ice in video remake, and a David Leith shorts, and bright red knee socks. logical, cultural, and historical point The 70s began in 1997, death at the concentration camps, Cambridge, to close out the success- rendition of the Rick Roll. The best The judges must not have seen me, when the school president of St. ful year. segments included Leith’s mysteri- or must have disapproved of my Sebastian’s School, Johnny Keefe, ous floating head trick, Lou Heck’s modern shutter-shades, because the decided to make a dance that paid dance moves, and Jordan Perry’s named the winner of the costume tribute to the disco age. Fourteen facial expressions. All in all, a great contest Ike Okwerku ‘13, who made Sebs Breaks Ground on New Building years later, the dance is still alive, piece of work. an absolutely hilarious speech at cor- To begin with some basic what he calls “Petro Rules” to prevent with many of the same decorations By Mike Petro ‘13 Now let’s move on to the porate chapel where he presented facts, the building should be finished fidgety students from destroying lab that have been brought out year On the first day of our actual dance. When I arrived on the the award to Mr. Burke. by the end of March Break next year, equipment. I guess I’m not alone? after year. Each year, the 70s dance return from March break, I walked scene at about 8:00 o’clock, I made All in all, this year’s 70s with eight brand new labs (two for Even though we are getting compels the students of Sebs to in to Room 107 for Precalc and took a few quick observations. First, I dance was a major success. It each branch of science taught here), new science equipment, Mr. Wilbur rummage through their attics, hope my normal seat, positioned next to noticed that Security Guard Rob was produced numerous moments that loads more storage, and an expanded was quick to remind me that although chests, and the racks of Savers in the windows to provide maximum on the scene. Good. Things could have become a part of Sebs lore. Mr. math wing. We discussed what his “science is great”, the new building order to get the esteemed costume daydr –– I mean ventilation. Yet, as get really dangerous around here Wilbur admitting his affinity for boo- favorite aspects of the new building will also pay homage to the spiritual contest prize. The outfits are absurd, I tried to focus on my mathematics, real fast. And if anyone could lay gieing, getting RickRoll’d by David will be and Mr. Wilbur gave me aspect of our existence, likely through the dance moves are retro, and the I found my eyes wandering to the the smack down on a rowdy crop of Leith, and Little Ike’s speech are clas- three great new pieces to the project: the thematic power of the awesome excitement for the big day mounts strange sight outside as tons of over-energetic freshmen, Rob can. sic moments that will last through lab space, project rooms for Rube rotunda with balconies connected to to an all-time high right around powerful machinery picks up massive (In fact, when I saw him, he cordially the ages. That is why St. Sebs is such Goldberg and Robotics, as well as physics labs for drop experiments. 2:30PM. loads of dirt and then deposits them... offered me some of his pepperoni a special place – moments like these. one that most students wouldn’t think Although he can’t confirm it, Mr. Why 2:30 PM? The 70s somewhere else. Yes, something is pizza – but, it being a Friday in Lent, The dance itself? Nothing special, of – storage. Wilbur believes that the room will dance video of course, another Sebs definitely happening in our backyard. I was obliged to refuse.) Second, I in fact a bit boring. Perhaps student “I don’t want to sound have some obvious tribute to the tradition that is a short movie that Even though I’m sure we observed the life-sized cardboard council and St. Sebs as a whole selfish, but it will be great to have cooperation of Science and Religion, serves as a sort of commercial for the all know what is happening behind cut-out of Austin Powers. Perfect. needs to take a look in the way my own classroom/lab again.” that the school wants to explore. epic dance. While last year’s video the math wing, for those of you who That legend’s presence will certainly dances are done. Could have used a One problem that faces our science In a Facebook chat, Paul was a recycled, unoriginal, let-down, don’t, let me explain: New Science add some funk to the scene. little more – I dunno – dancing. All faculty is the necessity of sharing Lee told me that he was “sad that this year’s video resurrected the Sebs and Math Building. I figured the Finally, I witnessed the the things surrounding the dance? labs with one to three other teachers, [he] won’t be able to be there” but tradition in a huge way. Senior David head of the science department number of absurd high school Classic. At no other place would you meaning that they can’t set up long that he “really likes that it’s being Leith led the effort, showcasing a hi- would know more about this project, students garbed in disco gear. They get the 70s dance video, an absurd term projects or leave out equipment. built”. Students not so geeky are also larious skit involving Patty Mac and so I decided to get the scoop from were literally all over the place. Some amount of hilarious costumes, or a As for current storage, Mr. Wilbur excited: “I think its gonna be sick,” Mr. Wilbur. The plot revolved around the great Mr. Wilbur. I found him highlights were David Leith ‘11 and speech quite as original or hilarious spoke of times when the science said one junior (who also admitted the idea of doing a dance based on drumming a fancy beat on his desk, Dillon Kerr ‘11 in vibrant purple and as Little Ike’s. Kudos to all in involved department had to decide against he doesn’t think about it that often.) another decade besides the 70s. This and timidly interrupted the school’s yellow suits and fro wigs as well as in the 70’s Dance, especially the sev- buying equipment simply because Still, we should all get excited for involved a scene in which Mr. Wilbur resident martial arts master to ask a Brian O’Malley ’13 ’s fur vest. As for enth graders managing the bever- there wasn’t adequate space. Then this amazing change to the school admitted his obsession with High few questions. He complied. me, I brought all my 70s ammo with age stand. Thanks for the free water. there’s the problem of having to make grounds. February 2011 THE WALRUS Page 5 Seb’s Hosts Three Impressive Guests for Poetry Month By Christian Kelly ‘14 one we saw a year ago, which was Davidson College, where he be- It’s National Poetry month. Students a mix of music and poetry. Gibson came a Full Professor in 1979, and are reciting poems in corporate is widely published in anthologies, then served as head of the English chapel, Freshmen are working on magazines, and journals. He has Department from 1989 to 1996. His sonnets in writing class, and soon also taught, lectured, and facilitated first volume of poems, The Girl in the enough a few poets will be visiting numerous workshops for colleges Yellow Raincoat (1989), was nomi- Sebs to share their work, speak, and and universities throughout the nated for the Pulitzer Prize. Abbott run writing workshops. country. Reggie has performed on published four more volumes of On April 19th, a Tuesday, Major Jack- stages such as Chicago’s Museum poetry: A Small Thing Like a Breath son will be visiting us. The author of of Contemporary Art, Hothouse, (1993), The Search For Wonder in three collections of poetry, Leav- and Chicago Cultural Center. Reggie the Cradle of the World (2000), The ing Saturn (2002), Hoops (2006), acted as co-producer for the work Man Who (2005), and New and and Holding Company (2010), The Mystery of Fire Bread and, while Selected; Poems 1989-2009 (2009). Jackson is a Richard Dennis Green in Europe, he performed with the His fourth collection, The Man Who, and Gold Professor at University of Sharnier Theater in the cities of won the Oscar Arnold Young Award Vermont, has served as a creative Hanover, Frankfurt, Berlin and also in 2005. In addition to poetry, he has arts fellow at the Radcliffe Institute at the LiteraturHaus in Hamburg, also published two novels: Leaving for Advanced Study at Harvard Germany. Named best Hip Hop Poet Maggie Hope (2003), which won the University, and has been a Jack by the Cambridge Poetry Awards Novello Award and the Gold Award Kerouac Writer-in-Residence at the two years in a row, Marlon Carey has from ForeWord Magazine, and its se- University of Massachusetts-Lowell. been the Boston Cantab Lounge’s quel, The Three Great Secret Things You should join both Ryan Bacic and Mr. Drummond and watch this show on NBC Thursdays. His first collection, Leaving Saturn, “Grand Slam Champion” and per- (2007). Anthony Abbott’s poems won the Cave Canem Poetry Prize formed with the Jeff Robinson Trio. have appeared in several magazines and was a finalist for a National Marlon has published three books: and literary journals, including the Book Critics Circle Award. Hoops, Giraffe Theory (2000), Prolegomenon New England Review, Southern Bacic’s Review of Community his second collection, was a finalist (2003) and Lazarus (2007). Poetry Review, St. Andrews Review, for the NAACP Image Award in the Later, on Wednesday, April 27th, Pembroke, Tar River Poetry, Theology By Ryan Bacic ‘11 The show’s central char- The ensemble cast gives category of Outstanding Literature Anthony Abbott will visit. Abbott, Today, and The Anglican Theological acter, smooth slacker Jeff Winger, is the show a flavor somewhat remi- – Poetry. Major Jackson is also a born in San Diego, attended the Fay Review. If you’re not watching NBC’s played by Joel McHale (of E!’s The niscent of the excellent How I Met recipient of a Whiting Writers’ Award School, in Southborough, Massa- As mentioned before, Major Jackson, Community, you’re missing out. Soup, which is actually pretty funny, Your Mother but with two more and has been honored by the Pew chusetts and later went to the Kent Reggie Gibson, Marlon Carey, and Now nearing the end of its second despite its channel) and is a guy on main characters and fewer seri- Fellowship in the Arts and the Witter School, in Kent, Connecticut. He Anthony Abbott will all be visiting season, this hysterical sitcom centers whom no epithet short of “legend” ous undertones. Combined with Bynner Foundation in conjunction then earned his A.B. from Princeton Sebs and will hold writing work- around a group of friends at the may adequately be bestowed. the fact that the episodes are only with the Library of Congress. University, and then his A.M. and shops during their visit. Jackson fictional Greendale Community Col- After it is discovered that he got his loosely connected and can more or Then, on Thursday, April 21st, Reg- Ph.D. from Harvard University. Abbot will be sharing his work with us in lege in Greendale, Colorado, and the bachelor’s degree in Colombia rather less stand on their own, this gives gie Gibson and Marlon Carey will was a professor at Bates College chapel, and Gibson and Carey will producers cleverly play off of this by than at Columbia, Jeff has to go Community the advantage of being visit us again and will throw on from 1961 to 1964, when he left conduct a performance for us in stylizing the title of each episode as back to school before he can return an easy show to jump into and start another performance similar to the to join the English Department at Ward Hall at the end of the day. a college class relating to the events that take place (“Early 21st Century to life as an attorney again. Though watching without getting caught up Romanticism,” “Advanced Dungeons he treats Greendale as the joke that beforehand. Because Hulu currently & Dragons,” etc.). While this might it is, he ends up growing unexpect- is only showing three episodes at a at first look to be a fairly mundane edly close with six of his classmates time (and only one more is available Freshmen Playing Varsity? through a Spanish study group they On-Demand), this feature is conve- setting, the show’s amazing writers AC: How much do freshmen affect most popular sports at St. Sebs, are able to artfully transform it into formed during their first semester. nient, to be sure. By Andrew Corcoran ‘14 the varsity soccer team? some believe that freshmen have an a place where great stories abound. The crew may be rightly described Community really hit its Mr. L: It varies, [Dillon] Kerr and advantage in varsity tryouts. One of The first season’s “Contemporary as “motley”—which it seems is the stride, according to most critics, At St. Sebastian’s, the [Zane] Stanton contributed a lot. those is John O’Leary, a freshman on American Poultry” is a perfect ex- only real way to describe a crew with the Season 1 episode “Mod- coaches of six most popular sports George Price scored a number of the varsity Lacrosse team. ample of this skill in action, as in this these days—ranging from the ern Warfare,” which won “Comedy (Football, Soccer, Hockey, Basketball, goals as a freshman. Ben Piersiak AC: Is being a freshman an advan- episode the group’s complaint over young and driven Annie to the much Episode of the Year” for its depiction Baseball, and Lacrosse) have handed didn’t play much freshman year, but tage or disadvantage at tryouts? a dearth of the delicious chicken older and unapologetically offensive of a campus-wide paintball game out or will hand out only eight Var- got much better and started as a JO: Physically it is discouraging fingers in the dining hall leads to Pierce, played by a still-hilarious devolving into a brilliant parody of sity letters to freshmen by the end of sophomore.” because everyone is bigger than you the uncovering of some serious Chevy Chase. The slightly unstable clichéd guns-blazing action movies. the spring season. Having only eight AC: Would freshmen not being able and probably older. However, no fowl play. (Admit it—you liked that.) and film-obsessed Abed, his best Two critics named it the “Best Show letters may seem small; however, in to play varsity soccer affect the one knows your game, meaning that Similarly creative premises include friend and former football star Troy, of 2010,” and acclaim has continued many local public schools, if they are team? And should freshmen be al- you have the mental edge on other an intense and outrageous debate single mom Shirley, and super lib to follow it well into this season, lucky a student athlete will receive lowed to play varsity soccer? opponents. against a rival community college Brita round out the group. Playing a which currently holds an 88/100 one a varsity letter for the entire aca- Mr. L: It would definitely affect us. AC: Would freshmen not being able in “The Art of Discourse” and the larger role in Season 2 is Ken Jeong rating on Metacritic. A show beloved demic year. Upperclassmen fill the Some kids are ready to play as fresh- to play varsity lacrosse have an ef- creation of a school-wide fort out of (perhaps most easily recognized as by Mr. Drummond and one that Nick roster of public school varsity teams, men. fect? sheets and blankets in “Conspiracy the flamboyant gangster from The Chappel says “reinvented funny,” and play almost every shift, play, Unlike many public high JO: Not really; I mean, I do not con- Theories and Interior Design.” Week Hangover), who starts off as the Community is must-watch TV. With or possession. Despite the public schools, Mr. Lynch chooses fresh- tribute to the team during games. in and week out, Community never school’s Spanish teacher—“Señor four episodes left this season and schools rarely playing freshmen in men to play on the varsity team, and AC: At your public school, would you fails to deliver, getting an uncanny Chang”—but eventually goes back with the series renewed for a third their most popular varsity sports, St. often the freshmen play major time. contribute to the varsity lacrosse number of miles out of its subject to school and ends up as a desperate go-round, there’s still plenty of time Sebastian’s teams send out freshmen In his mind freshmen add a key mix team as a freshman? matter. study group wannabe. for newbies to start their addictions. on their varsity teams, and many of to in the ultimate recipe for a great JO: Due to the lack of lacrosse play- them contribute largely to the team’s team. Despite Mr. Lynch’s support ers in Westwood, I would contribute success. For example, Corey Ronan, a of freshmen playing varsity sports, more at Westwood high than I cur- freshman, scored the game-winning many do not think it should not rently do for Sebs. goal against Nobles, in a highly an- happen. Upperclassmen have been AC: Would being a freshman hinder Classics Day: Great Time at HC ticipated contest between a couple around the teams and programs your chances of playing a varsity of the ISL’s top teams. Not only did longer; therefore, a freshman should sport at Westwood High School? By Peter DeMatteo ‘13 Bobby Wright and (I can’t remember sion, where the four person team Corey help the hockey team, but also not just be allowed to snag a spot JO: Not if I had the talent. Any good the other kid…sorry!) from behaving of Kevin Patterson, Teddy O’Hara, Connor Strachan started at middle from them. When a new freshman coach has the ability to recognize tal- On Thursday, April 14, the badly. In order to help them, they Caleb Aldrich, and Chris Rodiwitz line backer for the football team. walks onto the court, field, or rink for ent, which doesn’t concern the age Latin Club rode up to Holy Cross for bring in motivational orator Matt had made the finals. After starting With freshmen contributing in a tryouts, some upper classmen see of the player. one of the greatest experiences of Foley, played by Patrick McLaughlin, slowly, this team overcame the other the year, Classics Day. Both students who went on an extended, hilarious large manner to St. Sebastian’s most kids that feel like they are entitled to As John O’Leary put it, two schools, including a lumberjack and faculty, especially Mr. Albertson, speech telling the Roman “children” popular sports, naturally, freshmen a spot on the varsity team, due to the any player with the talent to play kid from Newman who was full of wanted to repeat in taking the Triple to shape up. This speech culminated should be able to play varsity sports. select team that they play on. Most a varsity sport should. Talent has sass, attempting to draw attention Crown, which means victories in the with Matt Foley jumping on and of these talented freshmen have nothing to do with a player’s age. At. to himself the entire time. After this Some say believe this statement to costume contest, the chariot race, crushing a cardboard table, set up by not gone through the struggles that St. Sebastian’s, we have the perfect victory, in the advanced division the be truth. One who believes this state- and the Certamen competition, a Chris Riley. ment to be true is the varsity soccer some of the upper classmen went system, if talented enough, a fresh- team of Dillon Ecclesine, Dillon Kerr, contest kind of like Latin trivia. Sebs Tom Keefe, and Tom Nunan made coach, Mr. C. Lynch. through to be on the team that they man should play a varsity sport. After the best performance of the had prepared for this event two the finals and quickly took the lead AC: Do you have a prejudged notion play on now. For example, on the Even though most public schools do day by far concluded, everyone ran days before with Certamen Night, over the other two teams, never against freshmen playing varsity football team, rarely does a freshman not follow the same rules we follow, out to the chariot race, arguably the where the teams participating in the looking back before winning their soccer? start for the varsity. Connor Strachan freshmen, as members of the High most anticipated event of the day, Certamen contest would be decided round as well. Mr.L: No, not at all, we have had a this year was the first in a very long School, are just as entitled to play a upon. Many teams competed for one that Sebs had dominated for a time to start as a freshman. Although number of freshmen play varsity soc- varsity sport as anyone. these spots in both the upper and while with a streak of four consecu- After the Certamen concluded, cer. Usually there is one every year. not many freshmen play the six lower divisions. After the first round tive victories (yes, a four-peat). This members of the Holy Cross began which took place in classrooms, the year, the chariot, a trash barrel on the award ceremony. As was already top three teams in each division wheels painted red and black, was known, Sebs took first in the Chariot Celebrity Look-Alike mounted the stage in Ward Hall for being pulled by Brian Strachan and Race, as well as both Certamen com- the final round, complete with an Charles Conigliaro, the chief engi- petitions. However, the costume electronic buzz-in system. Here, the neer was Doug Kinsley, and riding contest team was snubbed, instead two teams for each division were de- inside was Justin Lee (not to be con- given third place. What was clearly cided, while everybody else feasted fused with Paul “E-Jounghoon” Lee). the best skit from any view lost to a on delicious dessert made by Joe. The Sebs chariot defeated chariot strange and boring Roman fashion after chariot, including the trash talk- show skit, and a musical skit no one Two days later, over a hun- ing Worcester Academy, speeding had any idea was about since the dred Arrows arrived at Holy Cross for down the track lined with raucous actors spoke in inaudible voices and Classics Day, unloading from a pair fans, drowning out all sounds of did not really do any acting either. of buses, and filling up the seats in other schools and storming the track Despite this one set back, Sebs a large auditorium, where students whenever there was a Sebs victory. owned classics day in an unheard of from the about twenty other schools As Strachan and Conigliaro pulled fashion. Besting the Triple Crown, began to mutter in an intimidated the Sebs chariot along, a record Sebs took home the Quadruple manner, listening to a number of number of accidents took place, Crown, taking home a trophy in loud chants. The students on the ranging from having the chariot fall every event, while according to one Certamen teams went off into forward and the rider land on his college kid running it “having the classrooms again for the first round face to wheels falling off, sending perfect blend of energy and talent.” of competition, while the rest stayed the rider flying, to a time when the When the day concluded, every- in the ballroom-like hall, watching a chariot actually caught up with one one went back on the buses and number of extremely pathetic skits runner, knocking him to the pave- returned to Sebs for sports and other for the first event of the day, the ment. Luckily no one was hurt (NB: activities. In conclusion, I would like Scott Smith Napoleon costume contest. Most of perfor- one kid may or may not have been to thank Mr. Albertson, Mr. Ferguson, mances consisted of kids coming up concussed). In the finals, the Sebs Stefan Cressotti, Mr. Lynch, and Mr. dressed in Toga’s and stating how chariot again won easily, and the Nerbonne for organizing and mak- Scott may or may not have been the leader of France. they were some sort of God, lasting fans rushed the track to celebrate ing possible this great day, as well as about three seconds. After a mul- the victory, as once again Sebs had Certamen Night. But there are other similarities between the two, titude of poorly put together skits dominated the competition. and the three second monologues, as one can see here in these ‘separated at birth’ photos. it was time for Sebs to show them After lunch, everyone walked back all up. The skit consisted of a Roman to the original hall to watch both mom and Dad, Lou Heck and Sean the novice and advanced Certamen Frazzette, trying to stop their kids, finals. First was the novice divi- Page 6 THE WALRUS April 2011 POINT and COUNTERPOINT Patches O’Houlihan Phil Weston Dodgeball Kicking and Screaming

By John Donovan ‘12 aggressively plotting plays and between their legs like frightened schemes to overcome the enemy, By Bobby Wright ‘12 puppies. Without Patches no such finer points of his coaching great- Italy, these two are natural born Patches keeps his players on their improvement could have been ness. soccer players. It was this decision “Leadership is getting someone to do toes constantly, never afraid to hurl Phil Weston, a well to do, made. Despite the wrench tossing, The most important part of which launches Phil into the greatest something they don’t want to do, to a wrench at an inattentive player. respectful member of society, who the traffic dodging, and the groin Phil’s plan is his self-awareness. Phil heights of the coaching heavens. achieve what they want to achieve” – In doing so, despite exhausting drives a Toyota Prius and runs a local whacking, which he certainly did is certainly aware of his mediocrity With Mike Ditka by his side, and the Tom Landry, Head Coach of the Dallas practices and desires to throw in the vitamin and supplement store, is a not enjoy, Gordon achieved a new on and off the field, and is not afraid two Italians dominating on the field, Cowboys towel, he keeps his team alert and dweeb. Being pushed around by ag- respect for himself and also fulfilled to admit. That is why he does what Phil ruthlessly takes the league by Patches O’Houlihan, a man focused on the $50,000 prize ahead. gressive soccer moms in Hummers, his dream of winning the dodge ball all great head coaches do: find an storm, stomping on the faces of all in born to Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Finally, Patches takes his catchphrase as well being subject to constant title, thanks to Patches. experienced assistant coach. That is his path. well…Dodge, is that leader Tom to the next level, saying, “If you can ridicule from the snobby towns Ultimately, after dealing why Phil Weston enlists the help of However, before the cham- Landry speaks of. His aggressive and dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.” people, Phil just can’t catch a break. with Patches and his coaching style, God. O wait, did I say God? I meant pionship game, a commotion arises domineering presence transcends He brings the simple game of dodge Buck Weston, Phil’s father and local the players were left with more than Chicago Bear legend Mike Ditka. amongst the players. His squad is his physical limitations and apparent ball into the real world, a life or sports legend, used to encourage his dead urine soaked booze bag Yea, that’s right, Mike Ditka is Phil unhappy at their lack of playing delirium, establishing him as a force death situation. Although his players Phil’s success in his social life as well body and the $50,000 cash prize. Weston’s ASSISSTANT coach. Sure, time, and their obvious inferiority on the dodge ball court and as a most likely have great qualms about as, more importantly, his success on Each received a little nugget of in- Mike Ditka knows nothing about to the Italians. It is now where we commanding instructor. His undying bounding into the oncoming rush the athletic field, ever since his son’s sight into himself/herself, whether it soccer, maybe even less than Phil see the small, flickering flame of dedication to the team, his master- hour traffic, they by now have faith early days of infancy. But, lacking any was Gordon, unlocked his potential himself, but ¬¬¬what a genius compassion which resides within ful comprehension of dodge ball in Patches. They realize that he might athletic prowess whatsoever, Buck or Steve the Pirate who realized that coaching move? Who would want to the cold, stern heart of Phil Weston, dynamics and stratagems, his unique be a psychopath and the drills might gave up on his son. Being a disap- he wasn’t a Pirate. Through Patches’ mess with Mike Ditka’s head coach? and great coaches alike. Come personality, and his zeal for victory all be ludicrous, but ultimately all their pointment not only to his commu- leadership they were able to achieve I have an answer for ya, Bab, no one. game time, he sits the two Italians, a push the Average Joe’s team to new efforts will pay off in sweet victory. nity, but to his family as well, Phil has what seemed impossible at the That’s who. In the cut throat realm horrible, tactical error in the eyes of lengths, stretching their abilities and Gordon, a squat and sweaty proven himself to be one mediocre embarkation of their journey to the of youth soccer, intimidation is the many, including several parents of capacities to the max. In his role as middle-aged man, who lacks all human being. But, when Phil throws dodge ball championship. name of the game, and Phil Weston the team. But, to everyone’s surprise, Coach, Patches amped up the inten- confidence in himself, is affected on that blue and black, tiger striped Now, let’s have a small is a saber tooth tiger amongst a sea the misfits of the Tigers band to- sity to level 11 in his drills, compelling the most by Patches’ peculiar but jacket and watches as his youth discussion about Phil Weston. of weak, starving, antelopes. gether, and make their coach proud. his players to undergo grueling and powerful influence. He is weak and soccer team takes the field, he’s no 1. Phil Weston runs a vitamin But that’s not all, when it Because of the incredible foresight, terrifyingly painful tasks, which are spineless, and Patches sure lets him “disappointment” or “mediocre hu- store, he is not a professional athlete comes to his team’s success, Phil compassion, and patience of Phil most likely highly illegal, so that they know it, singling him out and debas- man”. No, he’s a champion. and has no business pretending to will not stop until he gets results. Weston, he is able to hone his coach- might achieve their overall goal of ing him on a regular basis. Often You see, Phil Weston is a know anything about the game of It didn’t take long for Phil to realize ing skills and lead his team to an in saving Average Joe’s. times he degrades him with phrases man of strategy. This is the key to his soccer. the dismal ability of his athletes, house, soccer championshp. With The Average Joe’s team such as “Gordon, you wouldn’t hit success. Without strategy, the Tigers 2. He is so poor a coach so he did his best to discover an the help and support of his family, wasn’t prepared for Patches’ insane water if you fell out of a boat!” or would still be in last place, and Phil that he had to employ Mike Dikta, untapped source of talent. And boy God a.k.a. Ditka, and the enthusiasm teachings; however, they all benefit “They’re too good, and you s**k would still be a blubbering slob, famous coach of the Chicago Bears, did he succeed. After a lot of debate of his team, Phil Weston stands as an personally from his wisdom. Under something awful” and then couples perpetually subject to the jeers and to help manage a team of ten year and discussion with a local butcher, indomitable force amongst legends. his tutelage the team quickly learned his remarks with either a swift chop stabs of his peers. But, you see, Phil olds. We must remember that Dikta Umberto, Phil convinced the humble Only the finest, natural born coaches that his methods weren’t exactly to the groin or a wrench to the face. is a man with a plan. From the start, only agrees to spite Phil’s father, not meat salesman to allow his two would be able to pull something like “necessary” much like his tendency Although these tactics might seem Phil knew what he had to do in order because he actually cares about the son’s, Massimo and GianPiero, to this off, and Phil Weston is one of to drink his own urine, which he does insane, demeaning, infinitely inap- to launch the tigers into first place. team or Phil. participate on the Tigers. Being from them. because it happened to be sterile and propriate, and somewhat dangerous, 3. Dikta recruits two star Ital- Take a journey with me as I detail the he likes the taste. On Day 1 of train- Patches has a method to his mad- ian soccer players to join the team. ing, eyes pop, as Patches empties a ness. An experienced athlete and Now all Phil has to say is: “Pass to dirty rucksack filled with various sizes gifted coach, Patches realizes that for the Italians” and the game is won. of wrenches, and the team stares some pushover players like Gordon, There two fundamental flaws with wide mouthed at his unabashed anger is the only recipe for success. this coaching style. 1. Phil should vulgarity and insane first words: “If Unrelenting humiliation is Patches’ know that coaching and strategizing you can dodge a wrench, you can way of unlocking the Pandora’s is an art that relies heavily on deep dodge a ball.” He then proceeds to box of Gordon’s athletic potential. thought and mental concentration. clock one of the team’s weakest links Patches’ work with Gordon paid off By choosing to pass only to the Ital- in the face with one of his steel tools, in a big way come the semi-finals at ians, his game becomes weak and dropping him to the floor, groan- the Las Vegas tournament. After the predictable. 2. No one has fun when ing, moaning, and in agony. Staring whole team, save Gordon, has been the stars get all the glory. Then you at Patches with bewildered faces, knocked out, Patches calls timeout, have mutiny on your hands. Way to they realize that they are in for more and he grabs Gordon by the shirt go, Phil! than they bargained. In the training and pulls him in close, and says to 4. Coffee on the bench. I don’t sequences throughout the movie, him, “Our only shot is for you to get think so…Try Gatoraid or Water, ya Patches is often pictured demean- angry!” As Gordon shuffles nervously Nimrod! ing his players while hurling dodge onto the court, Patches’ taunting 5. One-piece jumpsuits are a balls and wrenches at high velocities, voice echoes in his thoughts, and no go. often aiming for either the head or he surveys the stands only to see his 6. Why is his tiger suit blue? groin with a 95% accuracy rating. mail order wife flirting with an- Are Tigers Blue? No. The answer is, For instance, while the team condi- other man, and his two children so No. They are not blue. Look it up, I tions, running half-court sprints, in innocent and pathetic sitting right dare you. between throws, Patches often calls there. Anger boils with in him, and 7. Could Phil Weston have out axioms such as: “Come on! I got his teeth menace and gnash, as his shown up in his own handkerchief to better runs in my shorts!” This simple whole face becomes beat red. Veins coach Peter to victory? According to John Donovan, the Blue Tiger Suit makes Phil Weston put down pushes the team to work popping left and right, Gordon is de- a much less appealing and entertaining coach than Patches O’Houlihan harder, knowing that such struggles voured by fury, and no foe shall stay are necessary to overcome for his might. He proceeds to crush a ultimate triumph. Similarly, Patches seemingly invincible collegiate level employs his drill-sergeant style of dodge ball team, leaving the oppos- New Orleans Students Aid Church, City coaching in the classroom. While ing players with their tails wagging By Peter Cimini ‘12 decided to come to Boston to visit the Arrows to meet and work for in a restaurant so they can find a job us. This night marked the beginning people who were directly affected in a hotel or restaurant. It was great This past March break, 20 of a long week of work. by the Hurricane. These people to see Mr. Emond again, but it was juniors, 4 seniors, and 6 faculty mem- On Monday we began included Joe, Bill, and Mr. Raymond. better to see the great work that bers went to New Orleans, Louisiana working in various parts of New Each person very interesting stories he is doing in the New Orleans era. to help in the rebuilding process Orleans such as in the Lower Ninth to tell about how they survived the Also, we got to see former Arrows from Hurricane Katrina. This was the Ward, the section affected worst by Hurricane. These jobs were often the Jimmy Elcock and Charlie Jacob who 5th trip St. Sebastian’s has taken to the storm. We worked in the Ninth favorite between the students be- helped us work one of the days. It New Orleans, and, of course, all of Ward 4 out of the 5 days we worked. cause they got to interact and help was during these moments where them have been memorable. Even Every day different rotations of stu- a person that was directly impacted the phrase “once an Arrow always an six years after Katrina there was still a dents and faculty went there to clear by the storm, and consequently feel Arrow” rang true. lot of work to do in the New Orleans empty lots in order to make room for more responsible for directly helping Another memorable en- area. Along with several alumni and new homes. This arduous work con- someone rebuild. counter was when we were graced New Orleans residents, the students sisted of cutting down trees, clearing It didn’t matter which job with the opportunity to celebrate and faculty worked in various job brush, picking up trash/debris, and site it was, everyone was dedicated mass with former Archbishop of New sites clearing mini-forests, paint- various other manual labor jobs. It to finishing the job. Although some- Orleans Bishop Hughes, who came ing, helping at ARISE Academy, and was in this site where we understood what grueling, the five days of work to our house and said mass for us. various other small jobs. The trip how devastated the city was. De- were never a chore as the teamwork During dinner, Bishop Hughes told was very successful in helping the stroyed and abandoned houses that and perseverance allowed us to suc- us his story of Katrina and how he people of New Orleans and was a have yet to be touched since Katrina ceed and enjoy every moment of re- worked to help the people of New life-changing experience for every surrounded the empty lots that we building. The time spent away from Orleans. junior and senior who went. cleared. It was a humbling experi- working was also very beneficial as it On our final day, we took On the first Sunday that we ence for us all and we were moti- allowed us to reflect on our experi- a tour of New Orleans, seeing two were there we were graced with the vated by it. The lady in charge of the ences and become more closely places where the levees broke opportunity to celebrate Mass with entire operation in the Lower Ninth acquainted with each other. Each as well as the first house that St. the parishioners of Corpus Christi – Ward told us that we were one of the night at the evening prayer service Sebastian’s ever worked on. After Epiphany Parish. During the mass, hardest working groups that she has we reflected on our day and shared the tour we set off to the airport and Mr. Nunan presented the parish with ever worked with, a small deed that our thoughts with one another. Also, began our trip home. It was a suc- a donation for the parish, from the we could give to the people of New during various games of basketball, cessful and memorable trip and the money that we raised, to help their Orleans. Mafia, Scrabble, and Frisbee we were members of the trip would like to efforts in rebuilding the parish. After Another memorable place able to learn to know everyone on thank everyone who helped the trip the mass, we went to the French that we worked was at ARISE Acad- the trip better than we would have by either donating or praying. Hope- Quarter for lunch. That evening emy, a charter school for under- at school. fully whoever goes on the trip in the members of the parish’s youth privileged students. At this school, Another interesting aspect future will feel the same we felt and group, Ms. Monique, Ms. Sheryl, and we helped tutor various different of the trip was the opportunity to succeed as much as we did. It will be Ms. Shannon came to the house students. This experience helped us interact with different alumni that an experience that we never forget. we were staying in and joined us see how privileged we were to at- live in New Orleans. One day we for dinner. The kids not only helped tend St. Sebastian’s and how hard it went to Café Reconcile for lunch, the prepare the meal, but also sacrificed is to excel academically in a situation restaurant where former Head of Ad- You didn’t think we’d go an entire year without their Sunday night to join us. In May such as this. The rest of the jobs were missions Mr. Emond works. At Café various yard-work/ painting jobs to Reconcile, they take in High School Patches O’Houlihan, did you? this year the youth group is mak- ing their yearly trip and they have help parishioners of Corpus Christi – dropouts, help turn their life around, “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” Epiphany rebuild. These jobs allowed and teach them the art of working April 2011 THE WALRUS Page 7 Why the slow start for the Sox? Bruins, Celtics Playoff Previews By Mickey Adams ‘13 this ties them for the second worst the win was the fact that it only took major weakness that the Canadiens start in franchise history. On Open- the Red Sox two days to pick up a On March 31, Red Sox stars could exploit. Thomas finished last ing Day for the Red Sox, the Rang- second W, also over the Yankees. In Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and in Rebound Percentage, a statistic ers used 3 homeruns to overpower front of the Fenway Faithful for the Clay Bucholz highlighted the Boston that measures the percentage of Boston, 9-5. The next day, the bats first time in the young season, the Herald cover page in an edition that rebounds a goalie gives up per num- stayed hot for the Rangers, who Red Sox came alive at the plate, a dubbed the Red Sox as the “Best ber of shots on goal. Thomas gave quickly dismantled John Lackey, fitting occurrence considering that Team Ever”. A few days later, on up rebounds on 27.78 percent of his knocking another 4 out of the park famous Red Sox slugger Carl Yastr- April 7, the Sox dropped their sixth shots, worst in the league by 1.69 en route to a 12-5 victory. In the se- zemski threw out the ceremonial straight game, remaining winless as percent. If the Canadiens can put ries finale, the Sox lineup managed first pitch before the game. Boston they were shut out by the Cleveland a lot of shots on goal and suck the only one run, while the pitching staff jumped out on Phil Hughes en route Indians, a team that only mustered Bruins into their chippy style of play, allowed another four homeruns in to nine runs on twelve hits in a 9-6 a weak 69-93 record in the 2010 the Bruins might not have a chance a 5-1 letdown. After being swept victory. As the day of game two of regular season. The once promis- to make that elusive cup run. by Texas, Boston headed to Cleve- the series rolled around, the Sox ing season had quickly fallen to Similar to last season, land in hopes of regaining some of seemed to be a new team. The day shambles. the Celtics enter the playoffs with their confidence against a sub-par before, the bats had come alive, they The expectations were question marks surrounding their ballclub. The bats went silent for the had won their first game all season high for the Sox, but for good rea- ability to ‘flip the switch.’ Last year’s Red Sox again in Cleveland, as the against their rivals, and they were at son. The front office splurged in the team was able to turn it on, mak- seemingly daunting offense once the time riding their longest winning off-season, spending huge money ing a run all the way to game seven again only managed to cross the streak of the season. Despite all to acquire All-Stars Adrian Gonzalez Hopefully the Celtics can bring their fans this kind of joy. of the NBA Finals. Although many plate once in a 5-1 loss. The situa- of this, the 0-6 Red Sox showed up (1B) and Carl Crawford (OF). These And hopefully the Bruins can give the Canadiens’ fans pain. pointed to age as the factor for last tion kept getting worse for Boston, in the second game, as the pitch- two, coupled with other big bats year’s poor second half, the ques- who were once again humiliated on ing staff was once again embar- By Michael Hoff ‘13 such as Dustin Pedroia (2B), David tions about this year’s team center the road as the Sox hitters struck out rassed, the offense couldn’t provide Ortiz (DH), and Kevin Youkilis (3B) After last year’s scarring ful not to look past their first round around the controversial trade of eleven times in an 8-4 defeat. With- substantial run support, and Boston had the lineup looking like a power collapse to the Flyers, many Bruins opponent, the archrival Canadiens. Kendrick Perkins. Perkins was noted out any of their pre-season swagger, fell to 1-7 on the season with a 9-4 to be feared by opposing pitchers fans will accept nothing less than to The Bruins finished with a plus-51 for his defensive toughness, and the Red Sox limped into the series throttling at the hands of New York. around the league. The pitching advance to the Eastern Conference goal differential on the season, good after losses to Eastern Conference finale where, despite a strong out- In the series finale, the Red Sox were rotation was also looking stellar as Finals, having been dealt crushing for the second-best in the NHL. The contenders Chicago and Miami, ing from Jon Lester on the mound, saved by the masterful performance Cy Young candidates such as Clay Game Seven losses the past two Canadiens were only average in this his absence was blamed for the were held scoreless and lost 1-0 to of Josh Beckett, who tossed eight Bucholz and Jon Lester planned to seasons in the Eastern Conference category, posting only an average Celtics slump. However, the Celtics drop their sixth straight game, this scoreless innings in a 4-0 victory, and spearhead the attack while veter- Semifinals. The timing could not plus-seven rating. During the sea- defense has not been the problem one also at the hands of the Indians. more importantly, a sign of hope for ans Josh Beckett and John Lackey have been better, as the path to son series however, the Canadiens of late. In the last eighteen games, Nothing to this point in the season the Sox. looked to regain their stellar form of the Eastern Conference Finals looks took four out of six from Boston, the Celtics have averaged a measly had gone according to plan. “It As of April 15, the Red Sox years past. Finally, a deep bullpen clearer than in recent years. All of including all three in Montreal. 101.6 points per 100 possessions, can’t get any worse than this,” Kevin are 2-10 (with three recent losses to of Jonathan Papelbon, Bobby Jenks, the Eastern Conference contenders The Canadiens success against the while only giving up 97.7 points per Youkilis said after his team fell to 0-6. the Tampa Bay Rays and the Toronto Daniel Bard, and Dan Wheeler had possess possible fatal flaws, as the Bruins this season is largely due to 100 possessions, an elite number. “There’s only one way to go.” The Blue Jays), and last in the A.L. East Red Sox fans dreaming about Flyers’ injuries, the Capitals’ goalten- their only decided advantage over Perkins’ replacement could be a big only bad news for the Red Sox was standings. Just about everything another World Series ring. The Red ding, and Penguins lack of scoring the Bruins: Special Teams. During factor in deciding how far the Celtics that their path to get back on track possible has gone wrong for the Sox, under the leadership of man- without Sidney Crosby could open five-on-five play, the Bruins were the go in the playoffs though. 39-year- went right through their rivals, the Sox this year, but after all, it is a 162 ager Terry Francona, were expected the door for a deep Boston run. Phil- best in the NHL with a 1.40 goals for old center Shaquille O’Neal is out New York Yankees, who would have game season, so a slow start isn’t to steam roll the rest of the MLB, but adelphia faces off against a hot Buf- /goals against ratio. The Canadiens indefinitely, but his return could be no qualms about dropping the Six to the end of the world. According the unfortunately, the players did not falo Sabers team, whom have won posted a markedly average 1.01 GF/ the difference between a second- 0-9. Elias Sports Bureau, only six teams receive this memo. eight out of their last ten. The Flyers’ GA ratio. But on the man-advantage, round flameout and a champion- Unfortunately, the Red in the history of baseball have ever Despite a team of stars top defenseman, Chris Pronger, has the Canadiens were elite, while the ship. Of all of the five man units Sox will not go 0-162, a feat that made the playoffs after starting the rarely seen outside of the world of not practiced and his status for play- Bruins were merely mediocre. On played by all NBA teams this season, would have humored the entire season 2-9 like the Red Sox. Hope- video games, the Red Sox dropped offs is still unclear. Without Pronger, the power-play, Montreal scored the Rondo-Allen-Pierce-Garnett- world outside of Massachusetts, as fully the Red Sox can turn their their first six games, being swept a Stanley Cup run would be highly 19.7 percent of the time, good for O’Neal combination was the second they finally picked up a win in their season around, or else it could be by the Texas Rangers and Cleveland difficult for the Flyers, as Pronger is 7th, while the Bruins came in 20th at most effective unit in the league. home opener over the rival New York the Revolution that New England Indians. Their 0-6 was the worst the team’s defensive backbone and 16.2 percent. The Canadiens were The group posted a robust 115.1 Yankees. Even more surprising than fans are watching come October. since 1945, when they went 0-8, and also runs the point on Power Plays. also seventh on the penalty-kill with offensive efficiency rating, while Pronger’s injury coupled with ques- a 84.4 percent rating. The Bruins only surrendering a 96.1 defensive tionable goaltending , which consists were slightly better in this category, efficiency rating. This 19.1 efficiency of career backup Brian Boucher and ranking in 16th at 82.6. Additionally, differential was only surpassed by a Russian League castoff Sergei Bo- Boston must be sure not to become Dallas grouping of Kidd-Stevenson- brovsky, could make for a compelling bogged down with the Candiens Butler-Nowitzki-Chandler, which first round series, as the less skilled weasely play. The Frenchmen are has a plus 24.6 efficiency rating. In Sabres possess a clear advantage in known for their flopping to draw comparison, when the Celtics four net with Ryan Miller. Number one penalties, and the Bruins must not all-stars were paired with Kendrick seed Washington also has a tough become frustrated. To win the series, Perkins, that group only posted a first round, facing a Rangers team the Bruins must maintain their physi- plus 12.6 efficiency rating. Also, that snuck in to the playoffs on the cal style of play while not succumb- when the Big Four were paired with last day of the regular season. Simi- ing to the Canadiens tomfoolery. For Glen Davis, that group had a plus lar to the Philadelphia series though, the Canadiens to win, they must take 17.0 efficiency rating. So for all the New York has the vastly superior advantage of their special-teams fretting over the Perkins trade, if goalie, as all world netminder Henrik advantage. Another key for the Shaquille O’Neal can heal, or even Lundquvist has a definite advantage Canadiens is to get as many shots on if the Celtics merely shorten their over journeyman Michal Neuvirth. Bruins goalie Tim Thomas. Thomas bench, the Celtics could be primed Although the East looks set an NHL record this year with a for another Finals run. wide open, the Bruins must be care- .938 save percentage, but he has a Golf Team Wants More Success By Dillon Ecclesine‘11 Posting several low rounds during and defend its crown. SENIOR EDITOR tryouts, the coaches were certainly Another strong team this impressed. These three players will year will be Belmont Hill. They are Though it is one of the likely close out the top six, which is led by several very talented seniors, smallest teams at St. Sebastian’s, the a huge step forward for the team. as well as a few underclassmen. They golf team has had an enormous im- Others on this year’s squad, among have been in the hunt over the last few years, and things will likely be no Although the Boston Red Sox had the preseason expectation of shut-down pitching and an pact across the ISL over the past two others, include Gerard McEleney ’11 seasons, and we expect this year’s different this year. Nobles is also go- explosive offense, where are the wins and where are the hits? and Kevin Ginns ’13. The golf team season to be no different. The last expects these players to contrib- ing to be a competitor; they picked two seasons for the golf teams have ute heavily this year, which is vital up a new golfer who supposedly can had immense success: undefeated considering how strong some of the post some very low scores. BB&N (in both years), with two match play competition is going to be. and Middlesex also could certainly How My Dog Picked a make a run at the title. league titles, and two ISL tourna- Thayer’s team has been in- ment victories. In other words, the credibly competitive during each of Overall, the golf team is golf team won everything that could the last two years. They came in sec- very excited for this year’s competi- Winning NCAA Bracket be won. This year, however, only ond place to the Arrows in both the tion. Every single match will be a very close one, which always makes this reason at all times Finnegan would my dog picked in the first place, I have three of the ten players would be 2009 and 2010 seasons, in both the things interesting. No team will By Tom Murphy ‘11 pick a team with a dog mascot to win, an exceptionally intelligent dog, so for returning: Matt Michaud ’14, Charlie match play title and the ISL champi- dominate any other team: it will such as huskies, bulldogs, or terriers, this reason, Finnegan would almost al- Callanan ’11, and Captain Dillon onship tournament. Needless to say, Now that March has ended and would pick cat teams to lose, like ways choose the team that was seeded Ecclesine ’11. Clearly, there was a gap they have a certain “grudge” against come down to the final matches, to and we are in the midst of April we can wildcats, panthers, lions, or tigers. higher. The only somewhat exception to be filled. And, to no one’s surprise, Sebs, who they would be thrilled to the final hole, and likely to the final finally take a moment to step back and Now, because of this, some of the picks that Finnegan made was when in his that gap has certainly been filled. putt. Under the leadership of Mr. look upon the previous month. Most conquer. Only losing one player for that Finnegan made were outlandish. bracket the sixth seeded Georgetown Tommy Kelley ’13, Connor Jim Sullivan and Mr. McArthur, the importantly, we can look back upon this year’s season, they will certainly For example, he had the Boston Uni- Hoyas, with Jack the bulldog as their McGuirk ’13, and Alejandro Soto golf team will compete nobly on the the NCAA basketball tournament, in be a dominant force in the league. versity Terriers, a sixteen seed, make mascot, faced the sixteenth seeded ’16 were the first three players to course, and, no matter what hap- which almost all of us made a bracket, However, let it be known that Sebs it all the way to the final four. He also Boston University Terriers. Finnegan pens, will make St. Sebastian’s proud. expecting to dominate in our various claim open spots on this year’s team. is more than ready to answer the call had the Pittsburgh Panthers lose in the chose BU because, although Jack the pools, but were in fact left feeling very first round to the UNC Asheville bulldog may be partly Georgetown’s stupid. Only two people on all of Bulldogs. Although it is obvious that (whose mascot, a Hoya, is a what (yes, ESPN had all the final four teams, and my dog would love dog mascots and a what, because the slogan “Hoya Saxa” the person who won for best bracket hate cat ones, there was many a game is supposed to be “What Rocks”)), and didn’t even have all four final four and many an issue as to what he Finn realized that he would just pee teams correct. So to this, you may be should pick concerning two mascots on a rock, he wouldn’t become close thinking that we shouldn’t feel so bad that had nothing to do with either friends with it like he would a Terrier. about how poor our brackets were. I of the two. For this, the general rule So finally after hours of picking and mean, honestly, who possibly could was Finnegan would pick the team second guessing himself, Finnegan have predicted a Butler vs. UConn whose mascot would scare him less, had his bracket, and he was eventually final? Well sorry to say that this will and would generally pick teams with met with incredible amounts of suc- probably make you feel even worse, humans for mascots, because next to cess. as my dog, yes you read that correctly, dogs humans are his favorite animals. The only problem is that now MY DOG, Finnegan Murphy, correctly So for this reason, he made some after Finnegan picked so well, he has got the final and won every single picks that other people may say a dog been strutting around the house like pool that he was entered into. would not pick. Well, maybe your dog you wouldn’t believe, he is constantly On ESPN, Finnegan topped isn’t petrified of spiders, but mine is. telling us about how good he is at more than 99.6% of the entire country But yours didn’t predict the finals, so picking brackets, and even claimed that filled out their brackets. How did HA HA! he would have gotten the hockey he do this, you may ask? There were The next question that many champion correct, because they are many factors, and although Finnegan people posed was how does Finnegan the Minnesota-Duluth bull dogs. It has came out as a genius with picking pick when either two dog teams play gotten out of hand. So my advice is the final correctly he also made many each other, or when two cat teams for next year don’t let your pets fill out picks that would make many scratch play each other? The answer was brackets, because if they beat you not their head and wonder why. Finnegan simple, with only a few exceptions. As only is it embarrassing, but they will made his selections strictly based you could probably tell by how well never cease bragging about it. upon the mascots of the teams. For ARROWS SPORTS

Vol LXIV, No. 6 St. Sebastian’s School April 2011 Lax Has Promising Start a few more practices, the Arrows After last year’s unfortunate loss, By Matt Fechtelkotter ‘12 traveled up to Exeter, New Hamp- Sebs wanted to get back at Nobles. shire, to take on a mature Phillips Nobles did that themselves though, Snow, rain, wind, or sun- Exeter team. Throughout the first when a large part of their team was shine, the varsity lacrosse team has half, the two teams traded goals and suspended. The Arrows still played been out on the turf, getting better went into half time tied. The second the game as if they were playing the and ready for a few huge games half started in the same manner. regular starters. The lack of experi- during what is shaping up to be a However, Phillips Exeter began to ence of many of the players on No- huge season. The season began, win the majority of the groundballs bles was quickly visible as the arrows during the week before march and eventually built up a four goal went up 7-0 by halftime. From that break with tryouts. During these lead. Sebs began to crawl back into point on, Coach Stanton began to tryouts, the talent of this year’s the game. However, there wasn’t rotate more players in. Including “the team was clearly evident, not only enough time and Sebs suffered its doctor” Alex Calabro who scored his in the players who would make first loss of the season. first career varsity goal. When all was the team but he players who were The arrows used this said and done, the arrows had pulled very good but didn’t make the final game as a learning experience and off a 12-5 win. cut. But, the team can only take so began to prepare for their next There still a lot of the sea- many players and going in doubles game against the Rhode Island state son left though. Big games like the over March break would be 29 champs, Moses Brown. The team Middlesex game, and the Governors students. went into the game ready though game, which is Home on May 14. After a week off, the team and started off strong. Jack Connolly These two games are huge and gathered on Monday morning of won the opening faceoff and went could decide the winner of the ISL. Alex Spear ‘11 slaps a single to right field against Tabor during the Arrows’ tough 7-4 victory. the second week of break in the on to score 7 seconds into the game. However, that is way off in the future small gym. After stretching out the From that point on, Sebs domi- so Sebs needs to focus on the up- team took to the field to practice. nated the game, getting goals from coming games against Tabor, Groton What started off as nice weather Sophmore Connor Hilton, Gordon and St. Georges. The Groton game is soon turned very poor as snow Baseball Moving On Up Donnelly and many others. After the a home game I would highly recom- a seven-four lead. Three of those scoring one of his own, and stealing began to fall and cover the field. final horn went off, the game ended mend to anyone who likes to watch By Sean Frazzette ‘12 runs he drove in himself, going deep a base. In his first career start, the The team continued to practice with a 10-4 win by the Arrows. sports to come out and support their (and hitting a three-run homer) young Daly showed potential for though. The team didn’t bask in the lacrosse team. You will definitely After a strong season last year, in the fourth inning in front of the Seb’s baseball’s future. Peter Cimini As the week went on, win too much though, for they had enjoy it. Arrows baseball is back and better one and only Brianna Bristol. Then, also shined in the game, flashing his the team, along with the weather to prepare for their rivals, Nobles. than ever. Returning all but four slowly got better. This was espe- seniors from last year while also add- for the final two innings, Edmund leather in a series of good plays in cially visible with the differences ing future stars, the Seb’s baseball Murphy shut down the opposition the outfield. between the scrimmages towards team looks to be the first to capture with two strong innings. Seb’s ended This game increased the the end of the week. The first of the ISL title since 2007. Led by senior up winning the contest eleven to team’s record to three and one, and these scrimmages was against captains Donny McGuirl ’11 and Alex three, sending a strong message to the schedule now rises to a higher Aidan Balboni and Patrick Wallaces Spear ‘11, along with fellow senior the rest of the ISL. In his first career difficulty level. With an end of the hometown of Winchester. The and future Middlebury star Edmund start, Peter Cimini recorded a triple, month stretch of games against game was a little rough as both Murphy ‘11, this year’s squad is a and three-hitter Andrew Vandini had defending-ISL champs BB&N, long teams were still getting used to veteran group with experience, am- a big game at the plate, going three time rival Belmont Hill, and annoy- their offense and defense. Sebs bition, and talent. The team’s pitch- for four and driving in two runs. ing, pretentious kids from Roxbury however looked significantly bet- ing is as deep as any other team’s in Bellinger also came to play, big hit- Latin, the baseball team sees a tough ter though. The team followed up the ISL, with starters including BC ting two homeruns, nearly injuring a stretch ahead of them. Furthermore, with another scrimmage against prospect John Nicklas ’12, Edmund small child of about two on the sec- the team has to end the season with the town where it is always sunny, Murphy, and future something Jared ond one. If the star freshman keeps five straight road games, including a Walpole. Walpole was definitely a “Jagger Diaz” Clement ’12. In the up his current pace, he will have hit tough game against Dexter the last more talented team than Win- bullpen, the team features closer sixty-three homeruns by graduation, game of the season. Nevertheless, chester. However, Sebs once again Mark “Ham” Cunningham ‘12, as which translates to sixty-three senior with talent that equals any team the proved to be the dominant team. well as Connor Callow ’11 and Lucas stakes, as Joe the cook promised. Arrows will face, along with ambition On the Saturday before Mykulak ’11. While the pitching of While the statistics certainly jump for an ISL crown, nothing can stop school started up once again, Sebs the team is strong, the most potent off the page for the ISL opener, the this train but themselves. Although took on a solid team from Welles- aspect is the hitting. The middle of team’s morale and bench antics they will face two first-to-second ley. It started off as a close game. the order, led by Andrew “The Great show the true camaraderie. Whether round major-league prospect The arrows, however, slowly wore Bondini” Vandini ‘12, Connor Reen- it be Lucas shouting “Not his best” pitchers in Tyler Beede of Lawrence down the Raiders and showed that stierna ’12, John Nicklas, and Alex at opposing pitchers, the group Academy and Johnny Magliozzi of they were the better team. Vanditti ‘12, has shown to be clutch grunting noises after every play, or Dexter, this team’s bats, pitching, From that point on, Sebs bats in the lineup over the first few Murph’s praising the “All-powerful and will-power will undoubtedly needed to be at its best for the games, batting .490 as a group, Soldie,” the team shows a relaxed lead them great places. regular season had started. After while driving in twenty of the team’s and energetic side along with their With the last bit of space I forty runs. Behind the plate, direct- passion for the game. With an easy have left, I would like to issue a plea ing the whole crew, is Chris Nadeau win, the Arrows felt confident going to all Arrows to try and make some ’12. Finally, Austin Franchi ’12 returns into their next game against Tabor. games this year. In past years, the V. Sailing: A Crowded House to the team this year looking to Tabor made the trip down crowd attendance has been reduced from the Cape to face Seb’s on a to Mr. Nicklas, Mr. Bellinger, Mrs. success in the 2011 sailing season. and Father Arens, have been dedi- make an impact, while filling in the By Tyler Sweeney ‘12 warm Saturday afternoon. Jag- Venditti hiding in tree a mile away, Other returning sailors include cated to building the program over big shoes of Christian Venditti ’10. With the winter season ger Diaz pitched a complete game and Brianna Bristol. The baseball pro- Donovan Ward ’11, Robbie Spencer the past couple years. To have the Though the majority of the team is finished, signs of spring mark the against the strong opposing squad gram may not see higher chances of ’11, Bob Wright ’12, and Mike Petro program grow to be this popular is a returnees, a few newcomers have St. Sebastian’s campus; flowers are for the Arrows in his first pitching winning the ISL than this year. With ’13. On April 13th, the team raced testament to their hard work. made impacts. The most notable is budding as the weather becomes performance back from tonsillitis. the support of the student body in their second fleet. The experi- As for the season ahead, Justin Bellinger ’14, a freshman with warmer. In the St. Sebastian’s com- Over seven innings, Jagger allowed behind them, the group of eighteen ence showed as the returning sailors the sailing team has high hopes and a bat even bigger than his ego. The munity, the varsity sailing team wel- only five scattered hits and three will not disappoint. While I will not performed well so far. According to expectations. However, the begin- freshman starts at first base, as well comes the warm weather, so they earned runs. While Vandini, going go as far as guaranteeing anything, Alex Morin, junior captain, “The team ning of the season has proved to be as being a spot starter/middle relief can take to the ocean and begin three for three, and Alex Spear, who as I have no right as the manager to was looking strong on the water.” demanding. Primarily, the boat- guy in the pen. Other newcomers to their season. scored three runs, had big games do that, I will say this team has great- As impressive as the house has been under renovations. the team are Peter Cimini ’12, Chris The sailing team is led by a for Seb’s in the tough seven-four ness running through their veins. experience on the team is the surge According to Bob Wright ’11, “The Barletta ’12, Brendan Daly ’13, and core group of sailors this year. The triumph, the biggest story of the The coaching staff of Mr. Schell, Mr. in participation this spring. This renovations of the boat-house has Ryan Wolfsberg ’13. team has several seniors on the day came from Brendan Daly. The McCann, and Soldie has prepared year’s team had the largest turnout made the beginning of the season The team started the team with much experience. The young sophomore finally left Pierce’s this team to be great, and such an for first time sailors. Consequently, hard on us because we don’t have season with a bang, defeating a experienced sailors bring promis- shadow behind him, and had a achievement must be witnessed and the squad consists of twenty-eight access to all our boats, but with all perennial EIL contender Portsmouth ing expectations for this spring. two for three day, driving in a run, aided by other Arrows. Father Arens, one of the coaches of members now. The depth should of our boats we should do very well.” Abbey 13-1. Fueled by the dominant the sailing team, exclaimed, “We’ve also be promising. Coach Father Furthermore, the weather of early pitching performance of Edmund got some really good sailors with Arens is excited about the oppor- spring has proved to be a challenge. Murphy, the team easily defeated much experience, so we should do tunity to coach the new sailors: For their second fleet of the year, the solid foe, ending the game by Varsity very well this year.” Three return- “Sailing for the first time is exciting the team had to manage with the mercy rule in the fifth inning. The ing members, Chris Warner ’11, and it’s exciting for me to pass sail- April showers. The entire squad is senior pitcher went five strong, not Alex Morin ’12, and Will Barnard ing on to them.” With Father Arens’ excited for the warmer weather and giving up a single earned run, al- ’12, have been the elected captains experience, the first time sailors will for having a successful season. With lowing only one hit, and striking out Results of this year’s squad. Their experi- certainly be able to learn their way the largest team in the history of the five. On the offensive side, the bats ence earned them the honors as around the water. program, the varsity sailing team has of John Nicklas and Justin Bellinger Varsity Baseball: captains and should bring much The coaches, Ms. Rynne the largest expectations for success. dominated the inferior Portsmouth Abbey pitching, with both hitting homeruns and driving in a com- Vs. P. Abbey 13-1 W Rugged Varsity Tennis Posts Early 2-1 Record bined six runs. Overall, the Arrow’s Vs. Worcester 9-12 L opening day performance showed this year and I think we can all step up has a strong team this year.” By Brendan Dunphy ‘12 exactly how dominant the team into our new roles and hopefully get a Tennis is one of the most looks to be. Vs. Nobles 11-3 W The Varsity Tennis Team is couple more wins this year.” Haughey competitive sports in the Indepen- The second game, the team always a hardworking group of guys has been on the team for 6 years and dent school league. Many teams have hit a road bump. Despite homeruns Vs. Tabor 7-4 W who are on the courts constantly is looking to lead the team to victory players with high New England USTA by Reenstierna, Venditti, and Nicklas, trying to get better. Having lost their as the first seeded player. rankings. The team was 4-11 last year Worcester Academy defeated the Vs. Lawrence 1-5 L second and third seeded singles The team has practiced long and finished twelfth in the league, one Arrows 12-9. Bellinger and Cunning- players the team is looking for new this year. It is coached by Mr. Richter place better than the previous year. ham put up valiant pitching efforts, players to step into those roles. who was frequent USTA, (United Isltennis.com said this about the Saint Vs. Groton 18-5 W but thanks to the efforts of a left The team led by Captain States Tennis Association) tournament Sebastian’s team, “St. Seb’s returns a fielder named Portugal, Worcester’s Conor Haughey won four matches player and played singles and doubles bunch of strong players next year and Varsity Lacrosse: high-powered offense prevailed. last year and are looking to improve at The University of the South. hopefully they’ll continue to improve. The team’s minor set back upon their record. So far the Tennis “We lost 10-5 to Nobles, Conor Haughey ‘12 had a very strong against the non-conference team Vs. Exeter 8-10 L Team has had one match against a while we were missing our second season at 1st singles.” Haughey was did not deter them from prepar- good Nobles squad and lost 10-5, seeded singles player, John Cheever, also awarded an All-ISL award. ing for their next game. On a sunny Vs. Moses Brown 10-4 W though the matches were certainly to illness, which slid everyone up one If you want to watch some of Friday afternoon, Nobles made the close and competitive. spot on the ladder. Having said that, the best players in the area go down trip down to Seb’s, opening up the When asked how the Tennis some of the sets were still very close to the tennis courts and watch our Vs. Nobles 12-5 W ISL season for both teams. John team will do this year, Captain, Conor and could have gone either way. With team. The team looks strong as ever, Nicklas took the mound to start for Haughey, said this. “That’s a great both John’s sickness and that hav- and they are a fun team to watch. Ten- Seb’s and he came out firing. Strik- Vs. Tabor 8-5 W question. We had four wins last year, ing been our first match, things look nis’ next home match is on Wednes- ing out ten in the first five innings, and we lost our 2nd and 3rd singles promising for the rest of the season, as day, April 20th, when they play St. while only giving up two runs on Vs. Groton 8-5 W player, but everyone has improved we held our own against Nobles, who George’s. five hits, Nicklas left the game with