The Best STRESS BUSTER By DAN HARRIS FIND YOUR PLACE

A Small Town’s INSPIRATION From the book IF YOU LIVED HERE

A New Way to SAY THANK YOU 20 By GINA HAMADEY PAINS Weird & to Never Wonderful Ignore INVENTIONS From THEHEALTHY.COM By ANDY SIMMONS ®

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FIND YOUR 64 84 HAPPY PLACE ... inspiration health & medicine We Moved to the 20 Pains to “Worst Place Never Ignore in America” When is a twinge no big It started out as some- deal, and when is it a thing of a joke. We’ve warning that something been living here for needs attention fast? four years now—and by jen babakhan and tracy middleton loving it. from thehealthy.com by chris ingraham from the book if you lived here you’d be home by now 100 life well lived On Dad’s Trail, Forever 74 He taught his son how fascinating facts to ride and all the rules Weird and Wonderful on the road of life. Inventions by taylor brown from From a bicycle that garden & gun rides on water to a Features pillow that stops all 106 snores, these 18 news- drama in real life s e 58 worthy gadgets will I Was Scammed by g a love & kindness make you smile in m My Best Friend i

y My Thank-You Year t appreciation—or She swindled him out of t e How writing 365 notes g utter disbelief. $92,000 and forced him / y t of appreciation recon- by andy simmons i into bankruptcy. But he r r nected the author to a finally got justice. g

e what’s important in life.

l by johnathan walton y

k by gina hamadey from huffpost.com Reader’s Digest Contents Departments

6 Dear Reader 8 Letters everyday heroes 10 The Serial Samaritan by genevieve looby 13 The TP Exchange by rob nikolewski and hayne palmour iv from the san diego union-tribune quotable quotes 14 Octavia Spencer, Kelly Clarkson, Hasan Minhaj i won! 16 The International Cherry Pit Spitting Championship everyday miracles 20 A Little Life Saved, a Big Friend Made by kristen warfield

On the Cover Photograph by Yasu + Junko

A Small Town’s Inspiration ...... A New Way to Say Thank You...... Weird & Wonderful Inventions ...... The Best Stress Buster...... 20 Pains to Never Ignore ......

2 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest Contents

how to 24 Find Peace 116 Anytime, Anyplace Humor by dan harris and jeffrey warren with carlye adler from 18 the book meditation All in a Day’s Work for fidgety skeptics 38 we found a fix Life in These 29 Fix Spotty Wi-Fi, United States and More 13 things 51 34 The Truth About Laugh Lines Wildfires 52 by elizabeth yuko Laughter, the Best the food on Medicine your plate 41 I Am Tuna 99 The Genius by kate lowenstein Humor in and daniel gritzer Uniform Section news from the world of medicine 116 Story Time Is for 46 Shifting Sleep Everyone by meghan cox Cycles, and More gurdon from the book the your true stories enchanted hour 115 Signs from Above 120 Brain Games ) k

and an Ode to Dad 38 122 Word Power s a m ( 128 Photo Finish s e g a m i

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matthew cohen fight back against a foe like this is for each of us to stay as positive as we can. Through the Depression, World War II, 9/11, and other times of great change, it has been the role of Reader’s Digest to help readers do that. Please allow PLEASE ALLOW THIS this issue to help you find that hap- pier, more optimistic place, if it can, ISSUE TO HELP YOU with its stories of gratitude and family FIND THAT HAPPIER and kindness, and of an even more re- PLACE, IF IT CAN. markable toilet paper exchange. “The spirit of this guy,” John recalls of his exchange, shaking his head. “He was just so sweet.” has been looking ...” he conceded. And please share stories of local John handed him several rolls from heroes and kindness from your own ) y his newly purchased stash. life. Across America, neighborhoods, e n

o “Thank you, thank you!” Alex ex- workplaces, hospitals, churches, com- m ( claimed, as if John were the hero. munity groups, and whole towns and s e g I write this column at a terribly un- cities are coming together to help a m i certain time. By the time you read it, others. Our annual Nicest Places y t t

e six weeks or more after the magazine search is a powerful way to put them g / r has gone to press, COVID-19 may have in lights. Now is when we rely on you e e t killed many more of my town’s resi- to go to rd.com/nicestplaces to tell the s i t r dents than the 12 it has so far—I can’t world about them. a

, )

t know. Our economy may be recover- Just write from the heart. It’s urgent e l l ing or in ruins—I can’t know. I can’t for us all to hear positive stories, now a w

( know how many of us will have been more than ever. d i

e brought low by this unprecedented

r Bruce Kelley,

y medical crisis. r editor-in-chief o g But there’s one thing I do know, e r g with no uncertainty. The best way to Write to me at [email protected].

rd.com 7 Reader’s Digest

April issue

(age 12) Tulsa, Oklahoma I await each Reader’s Digest issue with the anticipation of a child awaiting Christmas. The Food on Your Plate Seeing the April cover was tantamount to I have to tell you how getting everything one wants for Christmas. much I enjoy these arti- cles by Kate Lowenstein The unsolved murders article was great. and Daniel Gritzer. The detective work that goes into solving They are so cleverly crimes amazes me. written and informa- —Charles Dougherty Hicksville, New York tive. I love the recipes too. Please pass along my best wishes to How to Connect with Building bombing in those two talented Strangers Oklahoma City 25 years people and tell them As I worried about ago. I wondered if to keep up the good starting a 14-day quar- young victim Joseph work. I think, next to antine (my son might Webber survived the the jokes, their articles have been exposed to bombing, so I went on are my most favorite. COVID-19), I got a big the Internet and found —Kay Falerios laugh at this article. that he did indeed, and Santa Margarita, Thanks for always pull- he went on to attend California ing me out of my funk. university. He seems to —Mary Jensen have grown into a fine, Why Are Military Woodbury, Minnesota compassionate young Families on )

man. Knowing that Food Stamps? 2 (

o Heroes in the certainly made the I was shocked, dis- i d u

Heartland story all the more mayed, even angry to t s

o

Thank you for your inspiring. read that we don’t pay t o h

article on the Alfred —Marion Baldwin our soldiers enough p

d

P. Murrah Federal Winfield, Illinois to live on. This is r

8 june 2020 disgraceful! How can How I Know It’s Spring DELIGHTFULLY we ask them to risk My first sign of spring WACKY TEAM NAMES their lives but not pay is not the early blooms them enough to live of the crocuses or the ✦ As far as funny team decently? little snowdrops but the names go, here in Macon, —Wayne Guthrie beautiful bright yellow Georgia, we had a minor Collierville, Tennessee color of the forsythia league ice hockey team bush in full, glorious named the Macon Piece of Mind bloom. Whoopee. When I was supposed —C.D.M. via rd.com —Avery Oakes to be doing my home- duluth, georgia work, my father and A Very Special I often worked jigsaw Tax Break ✦ My basketball team puzzles. Now my hus- The story of Michael was named Tee and band and I have a Evans paying an elderly Cookies (Tee was our puzzle in process most woman’s real estate coach), but it took us of the time. I’m an art- taxes brought tears seven years to win a game. So I don’t think ist and my husband to my eyes. What a it has to do with the is an engineer, so we wonderful man. I wish names being offensive— approach it quite differ- there were more peo- our name was sweet, ently, but we get it ple like him in the but victory eluded us finished and have a world, now more than anyway. good time together. ever. —Mrs. Markell —Donnie Gene Woods —Evelyn Mitchell Raphaelson West Ridgecrest, California Fredericksburg, Virginia laurel, maryland

at a seriously creepy manor house

Select Editions, our curated reading

rd.com 9 Reader’s Digest EVERYDAY HEROES

An imperfect man finds the perfect way to give back The Serial Samaritan

By Genevieve Looby

ean-Paul “J.P.” LaPierre is no When he got sober, about two de- J stranger to long, strange trips. cades ago, LaPierre started running When he was young, he worked as in as many marathons as he could. To a master pastry chef, then as a real es- date, the 54-year-old storage facility tate agent. But at age 30, he discovered manager has crossed the finish line crack cocaine. Within months, he went 32 times. Without a doubt, his most from living in a penthouse to sleeping recent race was the most memorable. under a Massachusetts bridge, a bridge LaPierre had flown from Boston to that happened to be on the route of Chicago last fall, sleeping in O’Hare the Boston Marathon. LaPierre would Airport to save money. Early on the watch the runners speed past, long- morning of October 13, he boarded ing to take part, join the throngs, pull the city’s Blue Line L to head to the his life together. Marathons became a Chicago Marathon. The train was full symbol and an inspiration—surviving of energized marathoners. LaPierre for the long haul. took a seat next to a fellow runner

10 june 2020 | rd.com Photograph by Christopher Churchill “Sometimes in life you’re called upon, and you’ve got to act,” says Jean-Paul LaPierre. Reader’s Digest

and began chatting. Before long, The two men fought for the gun—and LaPierre noticed a man who seemed their lives. to be homeless moving from pas- “You don’t move!” LaPierre senger to passenger, asking for spare shouted, leaning into the armed man change. His demeanor struck LaPi- with his left side. The man tried shov- erre as “really weird,” especially the ing past him, but LaPierre muscled way he stared down anyone he felt him back against the door, grabbing hadn’t given him enough. the gun and handing it to a passenger, At the Cumberland station, several who quickly walked it off the train. stops before the one for the marathon, But LaPierre wasn’t in the clear. most of the passengers suddenly fled The man had accomplices who now the car. LaPierre, startled, rushed out surrounded LaPierre and began to to see what was going on, only to hear threaten him. His one chance to save panicked people shouting that the himself, he believed, was to be more menacing than the bad guys. Look- “YOU DON’T MOVE!” ing the original crook in the eye, he LAPIERRE SHOUTED, growled, “I’m a boxer. I’ll break your head in one punch!” LEANING INTO “Let me go!” the man begged. Then THE ARMED MAN. the police swarmed the train, and LaPierre let them take over. He had a marathon to run. man asking for money was, in fact, This was not the first time LaPierre armed and robbing people. has jumped into the fray. In 2015, he Just then, the armed man himself helped rescue a one-year-old and his exited the train car and hopped onto mother from a car wreck. Last sum- the next one. LaPierre followed him. mer, he volunteered to search for a “I could not walk away knowing there python that went missing from a back- were innocent children and people yard cage in Newton, Massachusetts. just trying to get to a race,” he says. (He found it.) And a few years back, The man was standing in the mid- he helped foil a CVS drugstore rob- dle of the car when he turned and saw bery. “I just happen to be at the right LaPierre, his head down, bull-rushing place at the right moment,” he says. him. LaPierre plowed into the far LaPierre knows there’s more to why larger and younger man, pinning him he’s become a serial good guy than against the closed doors. “Once I got a that. “I’ve lived a hard life,” he says. few feet from him, I knew he wouldn’t “But I believe change starts within be able to react fast enough to shoot yourself. For the last 25 years, I’ve tried me,” he told the Chicago Sun-Times. to make myself into a good man.” RD

12 june 2020 Everyday Heroes The TP Exchange

By Rob Nikolewski and Hayne Palmour IV from the san diego union-tribune

ack in March, when the B COVID-19 virus had just started its deadly trek across the coun- try and people were panicked about shortages of just about every staple Jonny Blue, above, said his sign made of daily life, Jonny Blue focused on drivers ask themselves why people were one particularly urgent need. Blue, hoarding toilet paper. a 33-year-old physical therapist and avid surfer from Encinitas, California, quickly, Blue handed them off in an saw reports of people hoarding toilet impromptu TP stock exchange. paper. He came up with a simple yet “This guy said he just ran out and brilliant solution. was going to a bunch of stores and s s One Saturday morning, Blue took a couldn’t find any,” Blue said as cars e r p

piece of cardboard, wrote “Share Your whizzed by. “Somebody had given a m Toilet Paper” on it in huge letters, me some, so I gave it to him. He was u z /

e and camped out on the corner of El stoked. He was like, ‘Do you want me n u Camino Real and Encinitas Boulevard. to pay you?’ I said, ‘No, man. Take it.’” b i r t “It just inspired me to remind peo- A moment later, a driver in a - n o ple, listen, if you have a lot of some- white pickup truck slowed down just i n u

thing, that probably means there are enough to toss out a roll to add to o g

e people who don’t have very much of it Blue’s burgeoning bundle. i d because you took it all,” Blue said. “So “People are loving it,” Blue said. n a s

/ sharing it is probably a good thing to “They’re honking, smiling, laughing. v i

r keep in mind.” It’s kind of a rough time right now. u o The response was immediate and People want a sense of community.” RD m l a

p positive, with motorists honking

san diego union-tribune (march 14, 2020), e copyright © 2020 by san diego union-tribune. n horns in support. Drivers stopped y reprinted by permission of zuma press, a h to drop off spare rolls, and, just as sandiegouniontribune.com.

rd.com 13 Reader’s Digest QUOTABLE QUOTES

A couple that golfs together stays together. Where else can I walk six miles and talk to my husband for four hours without distraction? —Norah O’Donnell, journalist

When I was younger, I had an ego. But it gets in the way. —Anthony Hopkins, actor

A party without cake is really just a meeting. —Julia Child, chef

They say every generation is defined by a great struggle. Our kids will never know there was a time you had to choose between being on the Internet or being on the phone. —Hasan Minhaj, comedian

The world is not yours for the taking, but for the trying. Try hard. —Scott Galloway, entrepreneur

o’donnell hopkins child minhaj My husband and I have both forgotten anniversaries. He was hunting, and I was, like, asleep. —Kelly Clarkson, singer and tv host

In a dream, Brad Pitt offered me a helicopter ride. But it didn’t have lights, so I had to shine a flashlight. I’m sure it means something! —Octavia Spencer, actor

You’re never too broken to be fixed. —Jonathan Van Ness, tv personality

POINT TO PONDER

Families are like pieces of art—you can make them from almost anything, any kind of material. Sometimes they look like you and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they come from your DNA and sometimes they don’t. The only ingredient you need to make a family is unconditional love. —Mitch Albom, author ) 7 ( s e g a m i y t t e g

clarkson albom spencer 15 Reader’s Digest

I WON!

The International CHERRY PIT SPITTING Championship

kevin bartz, age 53, Edwardsburg, Michigan

So what’s your trick? One of the keys is curl- ing your tongue, kind of some learned neuro- family interest and creating a tube to shoot muscular factors. would practice with the pit out of. A lot of us in the driveway on it is the trajectory, too, You sound like a high occasion. However, we so that when it hits the school biology teacher. couldn’t persuade her ground, it rolls. My per- I am a biology teacher to spit competitively in sonal record is 58 feet and a football coach. public with us. 10 inches. But pit spitting might be After all these years, do That’s so unfair! Not genetic, right? You come you still like cherries? everyone can roll their from a family of spitters. I love cherries, but the tongues, you know. I do, and all three of my official competition Approximately 75 per- children are spitters. My uses tart cherries, so cent of the human pop- daughter Chloe [shown they aren’t that good. RD ulation can roll their above, with her dad], tongues. It is thought who is in college, won that tongue rolling is last year. She’s been do- The International purely genetic, but that ing it since she was five. Cherry Pit Spitting is most likely not the Championship has been case. There are proba- Did your wife approve of held in Eau Claire, bly also environmental teaching the kids to spit? Michigan, every year influences as well as She liked the shared since 1974.

16 june 2020 | rd.com illustration by John Cuneo With 50% off , it’s even easier to stay connected!

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Tanned, relaxed, and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. As the cus- toms agent handed my passport back to me, she cheerily welcomed me home by declaring, “Back to reality for you!” —Bruce Neal “You can call me dude or keep the ponytail … pick one.” Colorado Springs, Colorado man: Uh, no, I wasn’t. The Customer Is (NOT) fd: I definitely know Always Right My friend’s dad, you. Are you in law? ✦ Customer’s child is a professor, travels a man: No, I’m not. doing a project on lot. Once, when return- fd: Well, I must have dinosaurs. Customer ing from a conference seen you at a confer- cannot believe our in Australia, he spotted ence somewhere. bookstore doesn’t have a familiar-looking man Which university are a single book with but didn’t know where you with? actual photographs of he knew him from. So man: I don’t work at a real dinosaurs. he confronted him. university. —@Waterstones friend’s dad: You look fd: Well, what’s your Picc familiar. Were you at name, at least? ✦ While I was working the conference this man: Matt Damon. at a gas station, a guy week for international —not_a_frog asked me for a refund trade law? on reddit.com on gas he just pumped

18 june 2020 Cartoon by Mike Shapiro Reader’s Digest

If you put away the clean laundry on the She answered angrily, same day that you wash it, I feel like that’s “I don’t know, there could be more.” what you should lead with on your résumé. —@PanickedIdiot —@abbyhasissues ✦ I watched a woman demand that my because he changed pick out toys and coworker give her a his mind. squeak them into the haircut. I work at —@ObscureAaron phone for him until he a bookstore. ✦ I work at a pet- heard the “right one.” —@lindseyfever supply store. A cus- —@kristinneuman tomer once called to ✦ When I worked at a set up a delivery. video store, a woman Anything funny Among the items he asked if we had a copy happen to you at work? wanted was a dog toy, of Three Dalmatians. It could be worth $$$.

) but he didn’t know To clarify, I asked, For details, go to page 4 p u rd.com/submit o which one. I had to “Three Dalmatians?” or . s ( s e g a m i y t t THE MILITARY-TO-ENGLISH DICTIONARY e g

/ We can thank soldiers and sailors for the words umpteen, o t o skedaddle, and raunchy. Here’s more military slang that h p i deserves widespread use in the civilian world. n e j

,

) Crumb catcher: Geardo: a soldier who d a

e mouth obsesses about gear r b (

s Five-sided puzzle Gofasters: sneakers e g a palace: the Pentagon Ink stick: pen m i

y Flight suit insert: pilot t

t Jesus slippers: military- e g Football bat: an odd way issued shower footwear / Soup sandwich: y r of doing something a Left-handed monkey a situation that has gone r b i

l horribly wrong

Fruit salad: ribbons wrench: a nonexistent o t and medals worn on item recruits are tricked o Voluntold: forcibly h p a uniform into looking for volunteered for an e c n Galloping dandruff: Oxygen thief: someone assignment e i c s lice who talks too much —military.com

rd.com 19 Reader’s Digest EVERYDAY MIRACLES

A Little Life Saved, a Big Friend Made

By Kristen Warfield

hen Mike Mushaw swabbed coach had encouraged him and his W his cheek to join the na- teammates to register. tional bone marrow registry “The odds are you’re just going to nearly three years ago, he never really sign up and probably be in it for the gave it a second thought. After all, he rest of your life,” Mushaw, a student at did it only because his college football Central Connecticut State University,

20 june 2020 Illustration by Gel Jamlang told NBC. “You probably won’t get from the transplant, enough to live a call.” a more normal life. Instead, after a About six months after the sign-up, few weeks, the doctors at Children’s he did get a call. The now 21-year-old National Hospital in Washington, linebacker’s bone marrow matched DC, came back with shocking news: a patient in Virginia. Mushaw had to Eleanor’s condition hadn’t just decide whether to go all in. It would improved—Mushaw’s bone marrow mean spending a night in the hospi- had cured her. tal and undergoing general anesthe- “She’s doing amazing,” Mushaw sia, which carries some risk. And he’d says. “Better than they ever expected likely never know whether his dona- her to be. It was a little surprising just tion worked. because of how serious her condition “Right away I said yes,” Mushaw was, but it was more of a relief and told WTNH. “Once they took 17 vials happy feeling than anything.” of blood, I was like, ‘All right, this is real. This is going to happen.’” “WHEN THEY TOLD Mushaw didn’t know it at the ME IT WAS A LITTLE time, but his donation would go to a five-month-old girl named Eleanor GIRL, I GOT A who was sick with a rare immuno- LITTLE CHOKED UP.” deficiency disease that was diagnosed when she was only three months old. Eleanor had rarely left her house Mushaw didn’t know any of this other than to travel to the hospital or until months after his donation. In the doctor. Her immune system was most cases, the donor and recipient far too weak to risk even the most ca- remain anonymous to each other. But sual human contact. As the days and about six months after the procedure, weeks passed, her condition had be- Eleanor’s parents sent him an e-mail come only more dire. to thank him for saving her life. “Eleanor was going to die without a “When they told me it was a little bone marrow transplant,” her mother, girl, I got a little choked up,” Mushaw Jessica, told NBC. “The options were says. “Just to hear that someone so to either get a transplant or face fatal- young has the odds stacked against ity in toddlerhood.” (The family has her and her only hope is in your bone chosen to withhold its surname to marrow is a heavy feeling.” maintain privacy.) But their surprising connec- Still, there was no guarantee of suc- tion was only beginning. Mushaw cess. Eleanor’s family had hoped that asked whether he and Eleanor could she would have some improvement FaceTime regularly so he could check

rd.com 21 Reader’s Digest Everyday Miracles

on her progress. “It was amazing to around and jumped for joy with her watch her and be a part of her life,” parents, pointing at the field as she he says. “It felt amazing and surreal watched Mushaw play. to see it all, just knowing her situa- “They sent me a picture during the tion. Now she’s a perfect, normal little game when she was watching and two-year-old.” pointing to me,” Mushaw says. “After- Eleanor kept tabs on him, too, by ward, when I saw my phone, I just watching his football games on TV. In couldn’t stop smiling at the picture. I August, about a year after Eleanor’s set it as my background.” life-changing transplant, Mushaw He wasn’t the only one smiling. invited her family to drive from Vir- “I had waited by that point well over ginia to Connecticut to meet at one a year to finally give a hug to this guy of his games. From the stands one who saved my daughter’s life,” Jessica weekend in November, little Eleanor says. “We felt like we were on cloud stood dressed in a royal blue jersey nine all weekend getting to spend with Mushaw’s number printed on the time with him and have him be with back. On the front of her jersey was Eleanor. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled “Be the Match,” the name of the orga- that much.” nization that facilitated the donation. In January, Mushaw reunited with Mushaw himself, by then a senior, Eleanor, this time in Virginia, to cele- was wearing his own special symbol brate her birthday. It will likely be the that day: a pair of cleats with Eleanor’s first of many celebrations together. “As name printed on them. a parent, it feels really great to watch Tiny shouts of “Mike! Mike!” could someone love your kid as much as you be heard from the stands as the little do,” Jessica says. “We were two com- girl cheered on her very own hero: a plete strangers, and now we’ve be- six-foot-two, 225-pound linebacker come such a big part of each other’s with a very generous heart. She ran lives.” RD

Mis-Nomenclature The funny bone isn’t a bone; it’s a nerve. Catgut isn’t made from cats; it’s made from sheep. French fries were invented not in France but in Belgium. Koala bears aren’t bears; they’re marsupials. A ten-gallon hat holds only about three quarts of liquid.

22 june 2020 | rd.com HOW TO Find Peace Anytime, Anyplace Meditation is simpler than it sounds. Follow these directions from a skeptic who tried and liked it. ) n g

By Dan Harris and Jeffrey Warren with Carlye Adler i s (

from the book meditation for fidgety skeptics s e g a m i

y t t e g / j i k a n a t a p l u k n a i s

a y a r e e w

, ) r i a h c (

s e g a m i

y t t e g / y e l e z a d

r e t e p

24 june 2020 Reader’s Digest

f you had told me as recently as a and anxiety. Studies also show medi- I few years ago that I would someday tation can reduce violence in prisons, become a traveling evangelist for increase productivity in the work- meditation, I would have coughed my place, and improve both the behavior beer up through my nose. and the grades of schoolchildren. In 2004, I had a panic attack at Things really get interesting when work. Unfortunately for me, that you look at the neuroscience. In re- meant in front of millions of people, cent years, researchers have been as I was delivering the news, live, on peering into the heads of meditators, ABC’s Good Morning America. In the and they’ve found that the practice can wake of my nationally televised freak- rewire key parts of the brain involved out, I learned that I had undiagnosed with self-awareness, compassion, and depression. For months, I’d been hav- resilience. One study from the Harvard ing trouble getting out of bed in the Gazette found that just eight weeks of morning and felt as if I had a perma- meditation resulted in measurable de- nent low-grade fever. creases in gray matter density in the The panic attack ultimately led area of the brain associated with stress. me to embrace a practice I had al- The second thing that changed ways dismissed as ridiculous. For my mind about meditation is that it most of my life, to the extent that I’d does not necessarily entail a lot of the ever even considered meditation, I “weird” stuff I feared it might. Contrary ranked it right alongside aura read- to popular belief, meditation does not ings and Enya. Further, I figured my have to involve folding yourself into racing type A mind was way too busy a pretzel, joining a group, or wearing to ever be able to commune with special outfits. The word meditation is the cosmos. And anyway, if I got too a little bit like the word sports; there happy, it would probably render me are hundreds of varieties. The type of completely ineffective at my hyper- meditation discussed here is called competitive job. mindfulness meditation, which is Two things changed my mind. The derived from Buddhism but does not first was the science. In recent years, require adopting a belief system or de- there has been an explosion of re- claring oneself to be a Buddhist. search into meditation, which has I began my practice slowly, with been shown to reduce blood pres- just five to ten minutes a day, which sure, boost recovery after your body is what I recommend everyone aim releases the stress hormone cortisol, for at the start. (Frankly, if you find strengthen the immune system, slow time for even one minute a day, you age-related atrophy of the brain, and can count that as a win.) mitigate the symptoms of depression The practice does get easier the

rd.com 25 Reader’s Digest

longer you keep at it, but even after Bring your full attention to the feel- ) n g

doing it for years, I get lost all the time. ing of your breath coming in and out. i s (

Here’s a random sample of my mental Pick a spot where it’s most prominent: s e g

chatter during a typical session: your chest, your belly, or your nostrils. a m i

In. You’re not thinking about your breath; y t t

Out. you’re just feeling the physical sensa- e g / j Man, I am feeling antsy. What’s the tions. To help maintain focus, make a i k a

Yiddish term my grandmother used to quiet mental note on each in breath n a t

use for that? Shpilkes. Right. and out breath, like “in” and “out.” a p l

Every time you catch yourself wan- u

Words that always make me giggle: k n a

ointment, pianist. dering, escort your attention back to i s

a

Wait, what? Come on, man. Back to the breath. This third step is the key. y a r

the breath. As soon as you try to focus on your e e w In. breath, you’ll start having all sorts of , ) r Out. random thoughts, such as: What’s for i a h c

Likes: baked goods. lunch? Do I need a haircut? What was (

s Dislikes: fedoras, dream sequences, Casper the Friendly Ghost before he e g a m

that part in techno songs where the died? Who was the Susan after whom i

y t

French accordion kicks in. they named the lazy Susan, and how t e g

Dude. Come. On. did she feel about it? This is totally nor- / y e

In. mal. The whole game is to notice when l e z

Out. you’re distracted and begin again. And a d

r

In. again. And again. It is like a biceps curl e t e

Alternative jobs: papal nuncio, in- for the brain. It is also a radical act: p terpretive dancer, working double time on the seduction line ... You get the idea. To give you a sense of exactly how simple it is, here are the three-step

Sit comfortably.

floor, go for it. If not, just sit in a chair, as I do. You can close your eyes or, if you prefer, leave them open and ad- just your gaze to a neutral point on the ground.

26 june 2020 | rd.com How to Find Peace Anytime, Anyplace

WHEN YOU’RE READY TO TAKE IT FURTHER ✦ Count your breaths any of the innumerable ✦ Give guided audio from one to ten, and ways the mind can cook meditations a shot. then start over. Breathe up that anything else Some people wrongly in, one, then out. is supposed to be assume that guided Breathe in, two, then happening—“just this meditations are a form of out, and so on. breath.” training wheels—or ✦ Some people like to ✦ Recruit an image. cheating. I disagree. In- recite a short phrase to Sometimes I imagine structions are quickly help them stay focused. the in breath as a gentle forgotten. Having some- “Just this breath” is a wave moving up the one in your ear can be good one. It reminds us beach, pshhhh, and on really helpful. My advice not to start anticipating the out breath, the wave is to experiment with the next breath, or to recedes, sssssshh. Back both audio and solo think about the last and forth. Find an im- meditations and see one, or to imagine in age that works for you. what works best.

You’re breaking a lifetime’s habit of head, the more you can make room walking around in a fog of rumination for entirely new thoughts and feelings and projection, and focusing on what’s to emerge. It has enabled me to take happening right now. even more delight in my work, my People assume they can never med- wife, and our son, Alexander, who itate because they can’t stop thinking. suffuses me with warmth whether I cannot say this enough: The goal is he’s offering me a chicken nugget not to clear your mind but to focus or wiping macerated muffin on my your mind—for a few nanoseconds at sleeve. I am less in thrall to my de- a time—and whenever you become sires and aversions, which has given distracted, just start again. Getting me a wider perspective and, at times, lost and starting over is not failing at a taste of a deep, ineffable unclench- meditation. It is succeeding. ing. In sum, meditation empowers I have been mediating for eight you to tap into what lies beneath or years, and I am still plenty ambitious. beyond the ego. Call it creativity. However, these days I’m not as sweaty, Call it your innate wis- s e STEP 3 g agitated, and unpleasant about it as I dom. Some people call it a

m RD You’re i

used to be. Meditation has helped me your heart. Ew. y t done! t sort out my useless rumination from adapted from the book meditation e

g for fidgety skeptics by dan harris / what I call constructive anguish. and jeffrey warren with carlye adler, o c published by spiegel & grau, an p I have learned that the less en- u imprint of penguin random house j l chanted you are by the voice in your llc. copyright © 2017 by dan harris. Reader’s Digest

WE FOUND A FIX 9 Tricks to Improve Your Life* 1 Give Broth to Your Thirsty Pet pets Some dogs and cats are too stubborn for their own good. If yours won’t stay hydrated, coax her to the water bowl by adding a teaspoon of low-sodium chicken or bone broth. Just be s e g a sure it’s free m i y

t of onions and t e g

/ garlic, and e n o change the g a m water daily.

*From RD.com and thehealthy.com rd.com | june 2020 29 Reader’s Digest We Found a Fix 2 4 Best Bleach Where Else Cleanliness Can Pay Practices money You can save the cost of replacing a burned-out home Many of us recently hair dryer by vacuuming the dust regularly from the rediscovered the versa- back vent. Over time, dust collects there and clogs it, tility of this old-time which in turn makes the motor work harder. That can disinfectant but might cause the blow-dryer to burn out faster. need a refresher on some basic dos and don’ts. Do dilute bleach with water before cleaning with it, but don’t keep 5 your solution in a plastic bottle for more than a Fix Spotty Wi-Fi Signals few days. The bleach can technology Electronic devices such as degrade some contain- radios, televisions, and even computer ers, and it can lose its potency when exposed to light. If your solution has no bleach “smell,” it’s time to toss it. s e g

3 a m i

y

Clean Bugs Off t t e

Your Car g / s

auto In the heat of e g summer, dead bugs can a m i

get stuck to a car’s paint a r t

job. Wax such as Rain-X e t will help keep those little pests from sticking. For those that hold on, try wiping them off with a fabric softener sheet dipped in water.

30 june 2020 | rd.com Having a plan, no matter what your plans are. That’s the Benefit of Blue.SM

Discover Medicare options that fit your budget and lifestyle. BenefitOfBlue.com

Blue Cross Blue Shield Companies are independent licensees of the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association Reader’s Digest We Found a Fix 6 8 Stop Your Garbage Chop Onions from Stinking Up Without Tearing Up the House cooking You may have home Summer heat seen Sunions in Costco, Whole Foods, or Price can sometimes cause Chopper and wondered, garbage cans to What are those? They give off an are a new onion cross- breed designed to unpleasant virtually eliminate the odor. Reader standard onion’s tear- Michael jerking ability. The good news is they are not Sienkowski genetically modified. of Norwich, But there is one potential Connecticut, drawback: Some culinary experts say that Sunions has a sugges- taste sweeter and tion: “If you grow milder than traditional mint, cut a fresh sprig yellow onions. and place it in the garbage can every day. It keeps the can smelling fresh all 9 season long.” Need a New TV? Now’s the Best Time to Buy money If you’ve been waiting to buy a new TV, now is the time. Early March through s

7 e May is when you’ll find g a

lots of closeouts on the m

Relieve an Eyestrain Headache i

y

health Try some acupressure on a pressure point prior year’s top-selling t t RD e known as Yu Yao. Using the tips of your fingers, press models. g / a

the middle of each eyebrow for a minute, then release. n y l This can also help alleviate the tension that builds up i r a

from blocked sinuses. m

32 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest 13 THINGS

The Truth About Wildfires

By Elizabeth Yuko

It may seem as wildfires have occurred Preventing for- 1 if wildfires have in the past ten years. 4 est fires (which, multiplied in recent The 2018 Camp Fire, like bushfires, are years, but that’s not the which claimed 85 lives a subset of wildfires) case. Since 2000, there in Northern California, first became a large- have been on average was the deadliest in a scale concern after 72,400 fires annually, century. the attack on Pearl according to the U.S. Harbor, as people wor- Forest Service. Last year Combating ried that our World saw 49,786 fires. In 2018, 3 large-scale fires War II enemies would there were 55,911. could prove more target the mainland. challenging than ever The Forest Service The real problem this year. To help teams enlisted an ingenious 2 is the intensity of of firefighters access not-so-secret agent: the blazes. In 2015, a blaze quickly, they Smokey Bear. The for the first time, fires often live together in Smokey Bear Wildfire burned more than “fire camps.” But health Prevention campaign is ten million acres na- officials fear that if still on the job; in fact, tionwide. It happened the COVID-19 virus it’s the longest-running again in 2017. In persists, that kind of public service advertis- California, eight of communal living will ing campaign in Ameri- the state’s 20 worst be dangerous. can history.

34 june 2020 Illustration by Serge Bloch The worst of wildfires is lightning. explosive substance 5 wildfire in terms According to the Natu- called Tannerite. The of lives lost was ral History Museum of explosion was rigged the 1871 Peshtigo Fire Utah, lightning strikes to produce the appro- in Wisconsin, in which the earth more than priately colored cloud at least 1,200 people 100,000 times a day. of smoke: pink or blue. died. Never heard of it? Anywhere from 10 to Instead, it touched off Perhaps that’s because 20 percent of those a fire that ultimately it was overshadowed by strikes cause fires. burned 47,000 acres of another terrible blaze the forest. that happened the One of the most same night: the Great 7 bizarre human- One of the many Chicago Fire. sourced wildfires 8challenges of occurred in Arizona’s dealing with wild- Humans still Coronado National For- fires is that they can 6 cause more than est, in 2017. It wasn’t overtake even a very four out of five a camping bonfire that fast human. According wildfires, through care- got out of control; it to National Geographic, lessly tossed cigarettes, was a gender-reveal the fires can travel up poorly extinguished party, CNN reported. to 14 miles per hour, or campfires, and arson. A man shot a rifle at about one mile every Another major sparker a target laced with an four minutes.

rd.com 35 Reader’s Digest 13 Things

Unlike people, and completing 40 sit- wildfire created up- 9 wildfires move ups in a minute. drafts and eddies that uphill much more changed the wind pat- quickly than downhill. Wildfires also terns more than a mile Fire needs air to burn, 11 burn money. In away. The blaze also and a steep hill allows 1991, the Forest caused the formation of more air to come from Service spent 13 per- dense clouds called below the blaze than cent of its budget on pyrocumulus clouds. from above it, which in “wildfire suppression.” turn encourages the fire By 2025, fires will eat Beetles of to climb. up two thirds of the 13 the genus agency’s money, at Melanophila It’s no won- an estimated cost of are actually attracted 10 der, then, $1.8 billion. to fires—they’re some- that to join times called fire chasers. a “hotshot” crew— If a wildfire They prefer to lay their a specially trained 12 gets large eggs in freshly burned team that travels to the enough, it can (or still-smoldering) most dangerous fires— actually affect the local wood, according to the firefighters have to meet weather. Researchers American Museum of certain physical re- who studied the July Natural History. It turns quirements. These in- 2014 El Portal Fire in out their eggs are safer clude running 1.5 miles Yosemite National from predators in a just- in 10.6 minutes or less Park learned that the burned landscape. RD

Working-from-Home Haiku Cherry blossoms fall And gently float downriver On my screen saver. Is it Thursday? Or Is it Friday? I don’t know. Everything’s a blur. Got a midday snack. It’s not fruit or healthy food. HoHos are my shame. john tomkiw

36 june 2020 | rd.com LIFE in these United States

I was perusing the shelves at a bookstore when a customer asked an employee where the birding section was. After pointing it out, the employee asked, “Is there anything specific you’re looking for?” “Yes,” said the cus- tomer. “My husband.” —A.H. via rd.com “I think we’re named after computer passwords.”

Our fourth grader “Jesus would heal him He shrugged. celebrated his birthday so he could carry his “I don’t remember the on crutches, so he own cupcakes.” name of the group.” couldn’t carry the —Rachel Nichols —Wade Hampton cupcakes into school Richmond, Missouri Martinsburg, without help. I asked West Virginia k

our sixth grader, Noah, I had a chance encoun- n a b

to help his brother ter with a pastor My 85-year-old n o o

carry them in. who told me about a grandfather was t r a

“I could,” he said, wonderful event held rushed to the hospital c

e

“but I’d prefer not to.” at his church. “We with a possible con- h t / z

Spotting a teaching had a singing group cussion. The doctor e e f

moment, my husband the other day that per- asked him a series of a h

asked Noah, “What formed without instru- questions: n a r

would Jesus do?” ments,” he said. “Do you know where m a a

Noah answered, “A cappella?” I asked. you are?” k

38 june 2020 Reader’s Digest

“I’m at Rex Hospital.” I would prefer that the sun die “What city are you forever than apply sunscreen to in?” “Raleigh.” my children one more time. “Do you know who I —@robcorddry am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse LAUGHTER IS and said, “I hope he GOOD MEDICINE! doesn’t ask me any More proof that more questions.” sometimes people “Why?” she asked. need a bit of humor “Because all of those to get through the answers were on his tough stuff: badge.” ✦ Somehow reassuring in the midst of coronavirus —Webb Smith shopping frenzy to know that people still have Marietta, Georgia the sense not to buy chocolate hummus and buffalo hummus. Concerned that he —@noahgo might have put on ✦ CDC: To prevent coronavirus, stay home, avoid a few pounds, my physical contact, and don’t go into large crowds. husband exited the Introverts: I’ve been preparing for this moment my bathroom and asked, entire life. “Do you think my chin —@CrowsFault is getting fat?” ✦ Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in I smiled lovingly and nine months and one day in 2033, we shall witness replied, “Which one?” the rise of the QUARANTEENS. —Julie Echelmeier —mustbethedragon on imgur.com

s Corder, Missouri ✦ e Due to local cases of #COVID-19, the Puyallup g a (Washington) Police Department is asking all m i

y criminal activities and nefarious behavior to t t Got a funny story e cease. We appreciate your cooperation in halting g / s about friends or crime & thank the criminals in advance. We will e p e family? It could be let you know when you can resume your normal y l o worth $$$. For details, behavior. Until then #washyourhands. r a rd.com/submit c go to . —@PuyallupPD

rd.com 39 Reader’s Digest

the FOOD ON YOUR PLATE

I Am Tuna ... Actually, King of the Sea

By Kate Lowenstein and Daniel Gritzer

ou may think of me as palat- Y able and bland, the sight of me packed into cans reminiscent of school lunches and childhood pic- nics. But here’s what they don’t tell the kids: There’s very little that’s tame about me. One of the ocean’s fastest fish, I can grow to be 1,500 pounds of pure muscle. I fetch millions at Japanese fish markets. Forget the “chicken of the sea” pabulum. I am the Schwarzenegger of the sea, super- lative and dominant. Consider my body: My slick skin defines hydrodynamic elegance, my half-moon-shaped tail resembles a dragster’s, and my dorsal fin collapses into a pocket on my back just like the

Photographs by Joleen Zubek rd.com | june 2020 41 Reader’s Digest

door handles on a Tesla. Given what a baller this all makes me, it should come as no surprise that I’m hon- ored in cave paintings dating back to 3000 BC. Phoenician coins from 2000 BC feature Hercules on one side and me on the other. Five years ago, modern Navy scientists pinpointed just how perfectly evolved I am for FOR GREAT NEW YORK efficient speed: They modeled their DELI–STYLE TUNA SALAD new underwater spy drone, the GhostSwimmer, on me. Maybe it’s In a medium mixing bowl, very finely time they renamed their vaunted flake 2 drained 5-ounce cans tuna SEALs the TUNAs. (water-packed is fine) using a fork. OK, you’re wondering how I can be Mix in 1 cup mayonnaise, ½ cup minced both such a ho-hum part of everyday white onion, ½ cup minced celery, life and so high-rolling. How is it that 3 tablespoons minced fresh dill, and a can of me costs a dollar while the ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons sweet same little puck-size quantity of my relish or dill pickle relish (or a combo!). raw meat could go for $100 in a dif- Season with salt and pepper. Makes ferent context? enough for at least 4 sandwiches. I’ll tell you how. The fish you collo- quially call tuna is actually seven spe- variety, easier to catch and can in bulk cies of fish. Bluefin is the largest, as and thus accounting for $18 billion of long as a BMW sedan and at the top of the $42 billion worth of me that gets the food chain. (A single bluefin sold sold hither and thither each year. for $3 million last year.) Along with No matter the species, I’m always the only slightly less prized bigeye lean and mean, with meat very high and yellowfin species (the ahi steak in protein and low in fat. That leaves popular in poke bowls and at the fish- human diners with two ways to go: monger’s), it is one of the three sushi- You can eat me raw or almost so, with worthy tunas. edges seared and the inside still red, On the other end of the spectrum or you can cook me through and ac- is the smaller albacore tuna, plus my cept that I’ll dry out quickly. Ameri- stepbrother, skipjack. Biologically cans in particular have devoured me speaking, skipjack is in a different cat- in the driest possible way: super- egory of tuna from the others, if you heated into shelf-stable cans. Until look solely at the evolutionary tree. But the ’90s, you ate more and more of commercially it’s my most important me every decade for 50 straight years!

42 june 2020 The Food on Your Plate

It’s true that I can be delicious “ventresca,” is silkiest of all. But if canned, provided you don’t go light mayo is going to be involved, none of on the mayo—or, for a more heart- that matters much. Mix me with on- healthy and deliciously fatty tuna ions, celery, capers, and the like (some salad, the olive oil. In terms of taste, of you add halved grapes for a sweet any old can from the supermarket will crunch), and you have a flavorful, do, whether skipjack (“light”), alba- high-protein filling for your sandwich. core (“white”), or yellowfin. When you do splurge on my high- If you want to do right by the ocean, end versions, either as sushi or by however, opt for troll-caught or pole- ordering that rosy-red ahi steak at and-line-caught tuna. These “one fish, your local fish joint, keep a few things one hook” methods nab me without in mind. Take a pause on eating my nearly as much bycatch. Longlines bluefin brothers for a while, because and purse seines, or huge nets, often they are in deep trouble. In the north- wipe out entire schools, including ern Pacific and in the Southern Hemi- tuna too young to have had a chance sphere, the current populations are to reproduce. And lately there’s re- estimated to be only 3 to 4 percent of newed concern about mercury levels what they were before you overfished in my meat (including in my steaks). us. If all you humans made that one For the record, since cans of “chunk sacrifice, we could recover pretty white” and “solid white” albacore have quickly. Don’t forget that getting rid nearly three times as much mercury of an apex predator like me has grim as canned “light” skipjack, it’s rec- repercussions all the way down the ommended that young children and food chain. RD women of childbearing age dine on me in that form no more than once a week. Kate Lowenstein is a health editor My tinned meat will be more fla- currently at Vice; Daniel Gritzer is vorful and less chalky if packed in oil, the culinary director of the cooking while my belly meat, in cans labeled site Serious Eats.

What’re the Odds ... … of finding a four-leaf clover? One in 10,000. … of seeing a black cat? One in three. According to the ASPCA, 33 percent of cats taken in by shelters are black. … that Friday will fall on the 13th? On average, a Friday the 13th occurs once every 212.35 days.

rd.com 43 Reader’s Digest

Stressed Out? News From the Fire Up a Game on WORLD OF Your Smartphone MEDICINE The Web is filled with programs designed to help ease your mind— mindfulness meditation apps, they’re called. But a British study suggests that playing an enjoy- able game on your phone will help relieve work-related stress just as well. Participants in the study spent ten minutes a day over five days with either a shape-fitting game (similar to Tetris) or a meditation app. Their recovery from work BREAST CANCER strain was measured by how relaxed, detached MORE DEADLY FOR MEN from work, capable, and THAN FOR WOMEN in control they felt. The meditation app pro- Of the approximately 279,000 breast cancer duced more relaxation diagnoses in the United States each year, on day one, but the fewer than 1 percent are in men. But in a game offered increas- study of more than 1.8 million subjects, male ing benefits over time, perhaps because play- patients had a 19 percent higher death rate ers were getting better than female patients. Researchers believe at it, which added to their enjoyment. So go that undertreatment of the disease in men, t s i

ahead and spend a o

along with differences in clinical character- n e

few minutes with your b

e

istics between male and female patients, r

favorite game—it’s i a l

accounted for the higher mortality rate. good for you! c

46 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’

their doctor. In an

in Colombia and

were added to the support team. Half ingested. Surprisingly, the patients received CYCLES plain water (still and traditional one-on-one sparkling) was near the care. For the other half, Night owls taking part bottom of the list. The doctors shared some in a trial published in winner: skim milk. Its tasks (e.g., counseling the journal Sleep Medi- sugar, protein, and fat patients, monitoring cine were able to adjust slow the emptying of treatments) with their cycles by an aver- fluid from the stomach, nonphysician health age of two hours within and its sodium acts workers. The research- three weeks. Each day, as a sponge, keeping ers also recruited they got up earlier than water in the body. Oral “treatment supporters”— usual, had breakfast, rehydration solutions, friends or relatives to took in as much out- such as Pedialyte, are accompany these door morning light as effective in keeping patients to health ap- possible, ate lunch at a water in the body as pointments and en- set time, avoided caf- well. Sodas and juices, courage them to take feine and napping from with their higher con- their medication and late afternoon onward, centration of sugars, follow lifestyle advice. ate dinner before 7 p.m., also empty more slowly s

After a year, the pa- limited light in the from the stomach than e g a

tients who worked evening, and went to water. However, the m i

y

with a team saw their bed early. This routine body pulls water into t t e

overall cardiovascular saw them performing the small intestine g / n

risk score decrease better and feeling less to dilute the sugars, a y o

almost twice as much sleepy, less stressed, making them less g a m as those who saw only and less depressed. hydrating. a n a

their doctor. A similar schedule can i t a

help avoid jet lag. t

48 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest News from the World of Medicine

ELECTRIC STIMULATION Faster Lyme TURNS BACK THE CLOCK Disease Diagnosis Early diagnosis and rom electroconvulsive therapy (often treatment of Lyme F called shock treatment) to deep brain stimula- disease gives sufferers tion, there is a long history of applying electrical a much better chance currents to the brain to treat neurological and mental of complete recovery. health issues. Now two studies suggest the benefits But symptoms of the of this type of therapy might be more widespread. disease can easily be In one experiment, researchers mistaken for those of used electrodes embedded in a other illnesses, and test skullcap to deliver alternating results can take up to current to certain regions of three weeks. Two new the brains of 42 adults ages 60 tests are being devel- to 76. Doctors know that brain oped to detect the dis- waves tend to fall out of sync ease more rapidly, one with one another as we age. by identifying its DNA They also theorize that this dis- and the other by testing connect is what slows the transfer of for a protein associated information from one part of the brain to another— with the bacteria that the areas controlling reasoning and memory, for cause Lyme disease. instance. To test this theory, the researchers tuned their electric currents to the natural oscillations of Testosterone each subject’s brain waves to help get them back in Therapy Risks sync. After the treatment, the older adults’ scores on tests of their working memory matched the scores A study of 15,401 men of a comparison group of 20-somethings. ages 45 and older found In another study, an electric current was used that those who used to stimulate the vagus nerve. As we get older, the testosterone replace- branch of the nervous system that controls fight-or- ment therapy (TRT) to flight impulses gets more active, while the branch improve their sex drive s

that affects “rest and digest” functions slows down. and energy levels had a e g a

Together, these changes make us more prone to a 21 percent greater risk m i

y

wide variety of diseases. Shocking the vagus nerve, of stroke or heart attack t t e

which helps control breathing, digestion, heart than nonusers. The risk g / e

rate, blood pressure, and other bodily functions, was highest in the first g a s

rebalanced study participants’ nervous systems, six months to two years a c

RD u helping them counteract the effects of aging. of TRT use. l

50 june 2020 Reader’s Digest LAUGH LINES

Anybody want Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty to buy some exercise stomach, and now I’m the equipment? proud owner of aisle seven. I’m having a going- —@DomesticGoddss out-of-fitness sale. —@JohnLyonTweets

One of the World’s Strongest Man My wife does events should be this cute thing “Pulling apart two now and then shopping carts that where she goes are stuck together.” out shopping for next year’s —@Cheeseboy22 yard sale items. —@cravin4

If I worked in a used- Two salespeople record store, I would s approached me at e

g tell every customer that a the furniture store. m

i “all sales are vinyl.” I’m following the y

t Going, t —@WoodyLuvsCoffee

e one who called me g /

e “miss.” The “Hello, t i Going, h ma’am” one should w

n take note. o

e Sold!  f — @AnniemuMary i l

rd.com 51 “Congratulations! You are the winner,” says LAUGHTER the emcee to the man. “Your prize is this $100 The best Medicine bill!” Still showing no emotion, the man re- plies, “Would you mind coming over here and putting it in my pocket?” —Submitted by José J. Zuluaga Canóvanas, Puerto Rico

Gimme the Scoop ✦ Just saw a guy walk- ing down the street eating a gallon of ice ) . c

cream right out of the n i

,

container. I hired him e t a c

as my life coach. i d

 n — @goldengate y s

s

blond r o

✦ t

My husband just a e r

bought ice cream with c

d

raisins. So, that was a n a

n fun marriage. i b u

 r

— @smerobin h

“You know, from this end, it really ✦ g I’m going to start i e l is remarkably relaxing.” eating clean. How do f o

you wash ice cream? n o i

 s At an event famous audience. If you think — @Jessiedoll22 s i m

for giving out awards you qualify, raise your r e p

in bizarre categories, hand.” Everyone raises I can give you the cause y b (

the emcee enthusiasti- their hands except a of anaphylactic shock n i b

cally announces, “The middle-aged man who in a nutshell. u r

next prize will go to the seems to show little —Gary Delaney, h g i e

laziest person in the interest. comedian l

52 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest

I was raised by my grandfather One of the shortest clock because my biological clock wills ever written: “Being of sound mind, was never there. I spent all the money.” —@Black__Elvis —Submitted by Arthur Bland A statistician’s wife “and we’ll baptize Sunrise, Florida gave birth to twins. them.” Shortly after, he rang “No,” replied the the minister, who was statistician. “Baptize Got a funny joke? delighted. one. We’ll keep the It could be worth $$$. “Bring them both other as a control.” For details, go to to church,” he said, —stats.stackexchange.com rd.com/submit.

NOT MAKING THE GRADE When you were in high school, did you feel as if your teachers failed to recognize your true talent and potential? This guy likely would have felt the same way.

Student: J. Christ Grade: 10 s e g a m i y t t e g / a h k a t h k g n s a r p The fi rst and only overactive bladder (OAB) treatment in its class.

IS YOUR BLADDER ALWAYS TAKING YOU ON A TRIP OF ITS OWN?

Urgency

Frequency

Leakage

USE OF MYRBETRIQ (meer-BEH-trick) In clinical trials, those taking Myrbetriq Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) is a prescription made fewer trips to the bathroom and medicine for adults used to treat overactive had fewer leaks than those not taking bladder (OAB) with symptoms of urgency, Myrbetriq. Your results may vary. frequency and leakage. IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION Myrbetriq is not for everyone. Do not take TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron OAB SYMPTOMS BY TALKING or any ingredients in Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may cause your blood pressure to increase or make TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT your blood pressure worse if you have a history MYRBETRIQ TODAY. of high blood pressure. It is recommended that your doctor check your blood pressure while you are taking Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may increase your chances of not being able to empty your bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you have trouble emptying your bladder or you have a weak urine stream. Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc. All other trademarks or registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. ©2018 Astellas Pharma US, Inc. All rights reserved. 057-2985-PM IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION (continued) Myrbetriq may cause allergic reactions that increased blood pressure, common cold may be serious. If you experience swelling of symptoms (nasopharyngitis), dry mouth, fl u the face, lips, throat or tongue, with or without symptoms, urinary tract infection, back pain, diffi culty breathing, stop taking Myrbetriq and dizziness, joint pain, headache, constipation, tell your doctor right away. sinus irritation, and infl ammation of the bladder (cystitis). Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take including medications for overactive bladder or For further information, please talk to your other medicines such as thioridazine (Mellaril™ healthcare professional and see Brief and Mellaril-S™), fl ecainide (Tambocor®), Summary of Prescribing Information for propafenone (Rythmol®), digoxin (Lanoxin®) or Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) on the following solifenacin succinate (VESIcare®). Myrbetriq pages. may affect the way other medicines work, and You are encouraged to report negative side other medicines may affect how Myrbetriq effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. works. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch Before taking Myrbetriq, tell your doctor if or call 1-800-FDA-1088. you have liver or kidney problems. The most common side effects of Myrbetriq include Like us on Facebook and visit Myrbetriq.com Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) extended-release tablets 25 mg, 50 mg Brief Summary based on FDA-approved patient labeling Read the Patient Information that comes with Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) before you start taking place of talking with your doctor about your medical condition or treatment. What is Myrbetriq (meer-BEH-trick)? Myrbetriq is a prescription medication for adults used to treat the following symptoms due to a condition called overactive bladder: • Urge urinary incontinence: a strong need to urinate with leaking or wetting accidents • Urgency: a strong need to urinate right away • Frequency: urinating often It is not known if Myrbetriq is safe and effective in children. Who should not use Myrbetriq? Do not take Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron or any of the ingredients in Myrbetriq. See the end of this summary for a complete list of ingredients in Myrbetriq. What should I tell my doctor before taking Myrbetriq? Before you take Myrbetriq, tell your doctor about all of your medical conditions, including if you: • have liver problems or kidney problems • have very high uncontrolled blood pressure • have trouble emptying your bladder or you have a weak urine stream • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if Myrbetriq will harm your unborn baby. Talk to your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if Myrbetriq passes into your breast milk. Talk to your doctor about the best way to feed your baby if you take Myrbetriq. Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Myrbetriq may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how Myrbetriq works. Tell your doctor if you take: • thioridazine (Mellaril™ or Mellaril-S™) • ®) • propafenone (Rythmol®) • digoxin (Lanoxin®) • solifenacin succinate (VESIcare®) How should I take Myrbetriq? • Take Myrbetriq exactly as your doctor tells you to take it. • You should take 1 Myrbetriq tablet 1 time a day. • You should take Myrbetriq with water and swallow the tablet whole. • Do not chew, break, or crush the tablet. • You can take Myrbetriq with or without food. • If you miss a dose of Myrbetriq, begin taking Myrbetriq again the next day. Do not take 2 doses of Myrbetriq the same day. • If you take too much Myrbetriq, call your doctor or go to the nearest hospital emergency room right away. What are the possible side effects of Myrbetriq? Myrbetriq may cause serious side effects including: • increased blood pressure. Myrbetriq may cause your blood pressure to increase or make your blood pressure worse if you have a history of high blood pressure. It is recommended that your doctor check your blood pressure while you are taking Myrbetriq. • inability to empty your bladder (urinary retention). Myrbetriq may increase your chances of not being able to empty your bladder if you have bladder outlet obstruction or if you are taking other medicines to treat overactive bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you are unable to empty your bladder. • angioedema. Myrbetriq may cause an allergic reaction with swelling of the lips, face, tongue, q and tell your doctor right away. The most common side effects of Myrbetriq include:

• increased blood pressure • dizziness • common cold symptoms • joint pain (nasopharyngitis) • dry mouth • headache • constipation • urinary tract infection • sinus (sinus irritation) • back pain (cystitis) Tell your doctor if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away or if you have swelling of the face, lips, tongue, or throat, hives, skin rash or itching while taking Myrbetriq. These are not all the possible side effects of Myrbetriq. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to the FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088. How should I store Myrbetriq? • Store Myrbetriq between 59°F to 86°F (15°C to 30°C). Keep the bottle closed. • Safely throw away medicine that is out of date or no longer needed. Keep Myrbetriq and all medicines out of the reach of children. General information about the safe and effective use of Myrbetriq Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in the Patient Information ot prescribed. Do not give Myrbetriq to other people, even if they have the same symptoms you have. It may harm them. You can ask your doctor or pharmacist for information about Myrbetriq that is written for health professionals. For more information, visit www.Myrbetriq.com or call (800) 727-7003. What are the ingredients in Myrbetriq? Active ingredient: mirabegron Inactive ingredients: polyethylene oxide, polyethylene glycol, hydroxypropyl cellulose, butylated hydroxytoluene, magnesium stearate, hypromellose, yellow ferric oxide and red ferric oxide (25 mg Myrbetriq tablet only). What is overactive bladder? Overactive bladder occurs when you cannot control your bladder contractions. When these muscle contractions happen too often or cannot be controlled, you can get symptoms of overactive bladder, which are urinary frequency, urinary urgency, and urinary incontinence (leakage). Marketed and Distributed by: Astellas Pharma US, Inc. Northbrook, Illinois 60062

Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc. All other trademarks or registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. ©2012 - 2018 Astellas Pharma US, Inc. Revised: April 2018 206813-MRVS-BRFS 057-2652-PM Reader’s Digest

January 2018, I was commuting from Brooklyn to New Jersey. I have two little kids and a busy consult- ing business, so a quiet train ride felt like a mini vacation. Yet I found myself spending that precious time slack-jawed, scrolling through my social media feeds. One day, I put down my

phone and started writing thank-you Writing the notes wasn’t all that notes to people who had contributed time-consuming: Each was two or to a fundraiser I had organized. three sentences long, taking just a When I got off the train that day, I few minutes to compose. I focused was in a noticeably better mood. The on the person I was writing to and next day, I wrote more thank-yous— what I wanted to say, and the words and felt the same afterglow. When I came fairly easily. I quickly learned I finished writing the notes, I counted couldn’t do it while listening to a pod- them up. There were 31—one for ev- cast or toggling between articles. That ery day of the year so far. Something focus felt refreshing. It was good for clicked. What if I kept it up? my brain, which had been trained to I decided to write one thank-you wander, alighting on this feed or that note for every day of that year. I had e-mail, darting from app to app. It felt no shortage of people I was grateful meditative to look at a blank white for. So I picked out a different theme space with a pen in my hand, think- for each month to keep on task. Janu- ing about a person and the way he or ary was charity—and, thankfully, I she had helped me. had already completed that goal. While writing the notes, I eventually February would be dedicated to realized why this task was the perfect neighbors, I decided, and I thought antidote to my social feeds. What r o

of a dozen names right away. I re- was I actually doing when I scrolled d a m

membered when the owners of our through Facebook? Too often, I was a

a i

local bookstore let me and my five- spiraling into rage. Writing thank-you r a m year-old son, Henry, in before the notes was time spent on something y b

store opened and offered to play purely positive. What was I doing g n i

his favorite soundtrack (Mary Pop- when I scrolled through Instagram? r e t t

pins). I recalled when our 14-year- More often than not, I was admir- e l

old babysitter dropped off a bag of ing other people’s lives—their beach d n a

old board games for our kids to play. vacations, their chubby babies, their h

60 june 2020 Love & Kindness

I wrote each note by hand, with a pen, never on a computer, and mailed or hand- delivered them all. for me as I bolted down the street to catch his shuttle bus. There was the cash- ier at Trader Joe’s who chased me with a bag of groceries I’d left behind. On the day I de- livered that card to Trader Joe’s, my mother-in-law, Lou- ise, dropped off a week’s worth of din- ners. OK, I thought, Louise is not tech- nically a neighbor. But if I was going to thank grocer Pete for three minutes of his time, I needed to acknowledge Louise for hours of hers. organized kitchens. Writing thank-you It was important for these months notes was an act of noticing and hon- to be flexible, I decided. I would use oring my own life. each month’s theme as a starting After handing the first batch of point, but I’d also watch for anyone notes to my neighbors, I spent a few going above and beyond, regardless of days trying to remember times when whether he or she fit into the monthly other neighbors did something nice theme. for me. And funny enough, I started So in the ensuing months, as I noticing kindnesses that were hap- wrote to friends, doctors, career men- pening in real time. tors, and parenting role models, I also There was the driver who waited dashed off missives to my husband,

rd.com 61 Reader’s Digest

Jake, as well as my siblings, in-laws, Dear Julie, and parents. And I found that doing I’ve been finding myself missing Lit- so changed the fundamental dynam- tle Giant lately, as if it were a person. ics of these relationships in small but Thank you for creating such a warm impactful ways. I was smoothing out and special place, and for hosting me any prickly bumps and buffing them and cooking beautiful and thoughtful to a new shine. It is a powerful thing, food. I learned, to fully appreciate and feel The Little Giant menu has informed fully appreciated by the people clos- my cooking—I am always trying to est to you. re-create some of that magic. Jake By the time I got to July, my “food” and I will never forget when you sent month, I had become fairly adept at out biscuits shaped into the Roman retrieving memories and identifying numeral VI for our sixth anniversary. people to thank. Among that month’s We talk about it every year. recipients was a chef, Julie, who had Thank you. We miss Little Giant cooked at my favorite but now de- and you. funct restaurant. Here’s what I wrote Love, to her: Gina

he heart. speak from t e ✦ Do ractions. Turn buy expensiv ear away dist ’t bother to ✦ Do cl hone while ✦ Don V and your p . off the T cards nary ting. ake a prelimi you’re wri sy ✦ Don’t m akes out your mes fussy and t ✦ on’t fret ab outline—it’s D d if you make ndwriting, an oo long. ha it out. t te or two or, just cross spend a minu an err se—but ✦ Do ipient before pect a respon ng on the rec ✦ Don’t ex when focusi teful surprise t writing. enjoy a gra you star ing ne. y about craft you receive o ✦ Don’t worr s. fect sentence poetic or per Love & Kindness

I was delighted to receive a note with people like Julie—people on the back from her. Julie replied, “I don’t periphery of my life who nevertheless think I’ve ever received such a touch- made a lasting impact. And here’s an- ing letter before. Out of the blue and other huge bonus: I was reminded to incredibly thoughtful. And so needed acknowledge people in the moment, at a time when I’m struggling profes- too—to smile or say hello, or thanks, sionally. Your letter was a fabulous or “Here, let me help you with that.” reminder that looking back is a good I admit, I fell behind more than motivator for moving forward.” once during the year. But I completed my goal with hours to spare—writing I COMPLETED MY my last card (to Jake) on December 31. GOAL WITH HOURS TO That night, we hosted a big New Year’s Eve dinner, and I looked around SPARE, WRITING TO at my guests. There was Alonso from JAKE ON DECEMBER 31. Berlin, whom I’d written to in my “travel” month. There were Nick and Ro, in from Minneapolis, who’d It was one of many responses received cards in my “friends” and throughout the year that said some- “career mentors” months. There thing along the lines of, “I’m going was Mollie, who racked up notes through a tough time right now, and as a mentor, friend, and neighbor. this helped.” It turns out a lot of peo- There was Jake, of course. Henry ple are going through something a had fallen asleep on the couch; his lot of the time. And I wouldn’t have brother, Charlie, was upstairs in bed. known if I hadn’t reached out. I snapped a picture of the scene so I Part of the magic of what I am calling could remember the feeling welling my Thank-You Year was reconnecting up inside me. Gratitude. RD

A Low Point for Pizza Lovers Pie fans, let’s never go back to 2018. That’s the year emergency room visits for pizza-related injuries nationwide skyrocketed. Whether someone slashed a finger with a pizza cutter or tripped walking down some stairs during a delivery, this cheesy Italian meal proved to be a hazardous one. Other reported incidents include a man who poked the roof of his mouth with a fork while eating pizza and a woman who swallowed her tongue ring along with her slice. nypost.com

rd.com | june 2020 63 INSPIRATION

WE MOVED TO THE

IN

It started out as something of a joke—almost a dare. We’ve been living here for four years now.

By Christopher Ingraham from the book if you lived here you’d be home by now

64 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest

The author with his wife, Briana, and their children, William (far left), three, and twins Charles and Jack, six Reader’s Digest

Signal problems? Wet leaves? A body on the tracks? Whatever it was, the train was running late again. Which meant I’d be an hour, maybe two, maybe three, late to work again. Which meant I’d be staying late and not getting home until long after the kids had gone to bed. Again.

) g n i

I was well into my second year writ- project of the U.S. Department of r e t t

ing for the Washington Post, a dream Agriculture examining the physi- e l

job by any measure. Except for one cal characteristics that most people d n a h tiny problem. The Post is based in would agree make a place pleasant to d n

Washington, DC. My wife, Briana, and live in—things like hills, valleys, bod- a

p

I, along with our two-year-old twins, ies of water, nice weather. The project a m (

Jack and Charles, lived just outside of ranked America’s 3,000 counties from r o d

Baltimore. Between our home and the “ugliest” to the most scenic. a m a Post newsroom lay about 80 miles of Ventura County, California, came a i r

commute, 90 to 120 minutes by car, in at number one on the list—not sur- a m

.

train, subway, and foot. On a good day. prising, given the shore, the hills, and ) y l That damp August morning in 2015? the temperate climate. The county i m a f

that came in last was a little place (

Not shaping up to be a good day. m

But what choice did we have, given I’d never heard of called Red Lake a h a

that the median home value in Wash- County, in the northwest corner of r g n i

ington, DC, is somewhere north of Minnesota. It turns out Red Lake r e

half a million dollars, which was well County doesn’t have any actual lakes. h p o

out of the realm of affordability for Or any hills. The summers are hot, t s i Briana, who worked for the Social and the winters are brutally cold. You r h c

Security Administration, and me. We crunch all those numbers together on y s e knew we had to do something about a spreadsheet, and you wind up with t r u

our situation. But no matter how far “the worst place to live in America.” o c

:

outside the box we started to think, we My story went up on the Washing- d a e

couldn’t make the numbers add up. ton Post website at 9:27 on a Monday r p s

Then, later that summer, I wrote morning. By 9:32, the hate mail had g n i

an article that would change my life. started rolling in. By midmorning, n e p

I had stumbled across an obscure people had started sending me o

66 june 2020 Inspiration

photographs of golden wheat fields, to come visit Red Lake County.” It meandering rivers, and deep blue was from a guy named Jason Brum- prairie skies. “This is what the ‘worst well. His family, he wrote, owned a place in America to live in’ looks river tubing business based in Red t like in late summer,” one of them Lake Falls, the county seat, with a s o p said. The photographs eventually population of 1,427. “I would like to n o t morphed into a hashtag campaign, cordially and officially invite you to g n i #ShowMeYourUglyCounties. come and check out our little county, h s a In a lighthearted attempt at amends- which has now been dubbed ‘The w

e making, I rounded up a bunch of the Worst County in the United States,’” h t

/ best responses and published them in he said. “I would also like to reassure m a h a follow-up piece titled “Thick Coats, you that you would be given plenty of a r

g Thin Skins: Why Minnesotans Were good-natured ‘ribbing’ but would be n i

r Outraged by a Recent Washington Post greeted with open arms and a lot of e h

p Report.” Shortly after, I got an e-mail people showing you why they feel our o t s with the subject line “An invitation county is far from the worst.” i r h c

: c i h PREVALENCE OF NATURAL AMENITIES MAKING p a r EACH COUNTY A NICE PLACE TO LIVE g

. 5 1 0 2

,

4 LOW AVERAGE HIGH 1 t s u g u a

d Red Lake County, MN e h This county has extremely s i l low natural amenities. b u Rank: 3,111 out of 3,111 p

, counties e c i v r e s h c r a e s e r c i m

o Unsurprisingly, n o warm and sunny c e spots are the a d s nicest places to u

:

e live, according c r to the USDA’s u o s index.

rd.com 67 Reader’s Digest

A few days later, I was on a plane. was devoted to towns and residences. The closest “major” airport (with just It was home to approximately twice two gates) is in Grand Forks, North as many cows as people. A picture Dakota, 40 miles away. As I flew in, was starting to emerge in my head of the view outside the airplane window a place not unlike the hardscrabble was a rigid grid, straight roads stretch- farming communities that surrounded ing out to the horizon, interrupted Oneonta, New York, where Briana and only by other straight roads running I had grown up. perpendicularly. Everything was flat, Jason Brumwell had warned me to square. It certainly looked as if it prepare for “a huge helping of Minne- could be America’s worst place to live. sota nice.” At his suggestion, I took the I had done some reading to find out “back way” from Grand Forks to Red what kind of place I’d be parachuting Lake Falls. What struck me wasn’t the into. By most economic measures, flatness or the emptiness or the com- plete lack of people or cars; it was the sky. Unencumbered by hills and val- leys, the sky seemed impossibly vast to THE COUNTY my East Coast eyes, a clear blue dome WAS HOME TO dotted by poofy clouds straight out of a TWICE AS MANY children’s book. The horizon was truly infinite, the sense of scale and space COWS AS PEOPLE. and openness almost humbling. A large wooden sign proclaimed “Welcome to Red Lake Falls,” and the county seemed to be doing OK. there weren’t just a handful of peo- The unemployment rate that July was ple waiting to meet me, as Jason had 4.4 percent, well below the national suggested—there were dozens, in- average. The median household in- cluding four or five camera crews and come was $48,000—less than half the a color guard from the high school. ) 3 ( typical income in the Washington Jason and his dad, Dick Brumwell, m a

suburbs where I lived. The median found me, and after a quick press h a r

home value, on the other hand, was conference, they loaded me and a g n i

$89,000, or one fifth the typical home gaggle of reporters and local luminar- r e h

price in our area. ies onto a roofless red bus—one of the p o t

The county was home to just a fleet they used to ferry tubers to the s i r

hair over 4,000 people, 95 percent of river launch—and took us to a dairy h c

y

whom were white. The median age farm owned by brothers Carl and Joe s e t

was 42. The big business was farm- Schindler. Carl asked whether I wanted r u o

ing; just 1.6 percent of the land area to check out the inside of the barn, c

68 june 2020 Inspiration

and, yes, of course I did. I had some experience with dairy farms growing up. My dad was a large-animal veteri- narian, and in my childhood I would ride around to farms with him in lieu of day care or any other more struc- tured and costly activity. When we got to the farm, I bounded off the bus and made my way over to the calf pens. A newborn calf suckled my thumb as the Schindler brothers told me about life on the farm. A mem- ber of one of the camera crews tried to follow us into the barn but ended up retching, overcome by the smell. “Smells great to me,” I said. “Smells like home.” The next activity was a kayak ride down the Red Lake River. The river was tranquil, carving deep meanders through the landscape. Dusty cliffs rose up on one side and then the other, pocked with holes where swal- lows nested. Afterward I stopped by my motel room to get a shower before dinner at T&J’s, the local bar and grill. The folks at T&J’s were outgoing and eager to talk about what made their commu- nity so special. Al Buse, for instance, who at 101 was the oldest resident of Red Lake Falls—and “like everyone’s grandpa,” Jason told me. Al was the grandson of one of the town’s original founders, and he was, it seemed, the From top: Guitar-playing congressman living, breathing avatar of what made Collin Peterson; Carl Schindler with the town tick. Every morning when the son Isaac; the author (left) and county weather was nice, he would load his commissioner Chuck Simpson tools in the back of his bright yellow

rd.com 69 Reader’s Digest

golf cart and make his way through commissioner Chuck Simpson—who’d town, fixing things that needed fixing, said in response to my original story watering plants, generally doing what- that I could kiss his butt—showed me ever he could to keep the town tidy. around the shooting range. When I settled in for the night, I let Spend a little bit of time in Red Briana know I was safe, untarred and Lake County and you’ll notice that unfeathered. I had dozens of Facebook people here are highly invested in notifications, friend requests from their community. See that little park Minnesotans I had met earlier in the with the gazebo on Main Street? Dick day. Minnesota nice, indeed. Brumwell built it as a memorial to The next day, Jason showed up in his late wife. See the garden on the a bus with a sign reading “America’s hill across the street from the county Worst Tour” displayed above the courthouse? That’s a project of the lo- windshield. We visited a wheat farm cal Lions Club. And that train-shaped in Brooks (population 139), where light display on the old railroad trestle fourth-generation farmer Alex Yaggie during the holidays? That’s the brain- let me drive his combine. We stopped child of Jim Benoit, who thought at an asparagus farm and sampled people should have something nice from a jar of fiercely flavorful pickled to look at when they drive into town. asparagus. We stopped at the Plummer People rarely lock their doors in Area Sportsmen’s Club, where county Red Lake County, even when they’re

When he got out from behind his computer and visited the “worst place to live in America,” Ingraham discovered plenty of amenities the USDA index had missed. m a h a r g n i

r e h p o t s i r h c

y s e t r u o c Inspiration not home. People trust each other so spaces of possibility, with room to much that they often leave their cars breathe. I wanted what the people in running with the keys in the ignition Red Lake County seemed to have. when they run into Brent’s to pick up One weekend, my mom and stepdad some groceries. Kids often run around flew in from Tampa to visit. The boys unsupervised well into the evening were in bed, and the four adults were hours—not a problem when you trust unwinding in our tiny living room. the folks in your neighborhood to Briana and I were talking through all keep an eye out for any trouble. these issues—the boys, the house, When I returned home, Briana the jobs, the commutes, and how we noticed that I wouldn’t stop talking couldn’t find a way out of any of it. about how great the people were. Their warmth, their friendliness, their determination to make their commu- nity better. Jammed into a hot, over- THE PEOPLE OF crowded train, I thought of the guy RED LAKE FALLS who complained about how getting BRING WARMTH stuck behind a tractor could add five minutes to his 15-minute commute. TO THE COLD. When I’d told people in Red Lake Falls that sometimes I spent five hours a day commuting to and from work, My mom said, “Well, what if you their jaws had dropped. moved to that nice little Minnesota They had their own trials and head- town Chris visited over the summer?” aches, of course. Downtown wasn’t We all laughed. what it once had been. Affordable “No, really,” she said. health care was a challenge. The sher- The room went quiet. iff’s office had the occasional speeder For me, in that moment, suddenly or shoplifter to deal with. But the peo- all the pieces fell into place. One of ple were rising up to meet their chal- us would work from home. The other lenges. When the town pool needed would take a break from working to be work, they held a carnival and other with the kids, which we could afford events to pull together $70,000. given the low cost of living. Once I was back at the grind in DC, Over the next few days, a plan gradu- my days in Red Lake County took on ally came into focus. Once my bosses a positively Norman Rockwellian cast. approved my request to work remotely, The pressures of modern life seemed it was official. We sat down with the manageable there. I wanted to take boys, then two and a half, and said, my family to a place with wide-open “We’re going to live in Minnesota.”

rd.com | june 2020 71 “Minsota,” they said. They had It was an auspicious beginning, and no idea what it meant, but the word our family quickly acclimated to small- soon became a universal totem of an- town life. Briana volunteered for the ticipation in the house, encompassing Civic and Commerce Committee and all our hopes, dreams, anxieties, our was persuaded to run for city council, struggle for a better life. Minnesota. an election she handily won. The boys The following May we moved to Red soon thrived under the personal atten- Lake Falls. Our family—me; Briana; tion at J. A. Hughes Elementary—even Jack; Charles; Tiber, our 70-pound Charlie, who was diagnosed with au-

beagle-basset mix; and Ivy, our tism and might’ve gotten lost in the ) 2 (

12-year-old cat—arrived on a Sun- crowd in a larger public school, like r e t

day. The closing on the house was the one we had left in Maryland. s i l a

scheduled for the following day, but Most of the things we missed, in- c m

the previous owners, the Kleins, told cluding curry paste, sparkling wine, n a d

us they’d leave the door open and the and books the tiny library doesn’t of- r o j

keys on the kitchen counter. We hadn’t fer, we were able to order online or ask . d l

even gotten the kids out of their car local proprietors to stock for us. We a r e h

seats before we were enthusiastically found plenty of culture and diversity, e e

greeted by our new neighbor, who although we had to actively seek it out l k o

wanted to know whether we played rather than experiencing the world y s e

any instruments because there was a simply by walking down the street, the t r u

great little community band and they way you can in a big city. The twins, o c /

were always looking for new players. now six, have spent more birthdays in e t o c

The Brumwells and the Kleins came Minnesota than they did in Maryland. y

over to help us get all our stuff out of And we have another son, William, n n o b

the moving van. A few neighbors wan- who is three. I can honestly say that : t f

dered over to pitch in as well, and there would have been no William e l

with their help, we wrapped up the had we not moved to Red Lake Falls. m o r

job in just a couple of hours. It is my job to write about data. I’m f

72 june 2020 Inspiration Reader’s Digest

The beauty in Red Lake County, both natural and man-made, is abundant, including veterans’ ceremonies, sunflower fields, and the majestic county courthouse. a big believer in its power. But our by building igloos and sledding down relocation has been a humbling re- the town hill. Or how the vast winter minder of the limitations of numbers. night sky shines with the light of thou- It has opened my eyes to all the things sands of stars that people who live in that get lost when you abstract people, cities will never know. It doesn’t tell places, and points in time down to a you about the heat put off by a big number on a computer screen. roaring fire in a park at the darkest Yes, the government’s natural- time of the year, how the glow dances amenities index accurately captures on the faces of those gathered around. the flatness of midwestern farm The people of Red Lake Falls bring country. The summer heat. The bit- light to the darkness and warmth to ter winter cold. But it misses so much the cold. Glancing around the bonfire about that landscape: the sound of the at last winter’s train-lighting ceremony, breeze rustling the grain or the way the when everyone clapped and cheered, I wheat catches the light, the dry-sweet felt certain: We were home. RD smell of a field of sunflowers. It doesn’t excerpted from the book if you lived here you’d be tell you how a family can keep itself home by now by christopher ingraham, copyright © 2019 by christopher ingraham. reprinted with warm through the coldest of winters permission of harpercollins publishers.

Blue Moon NASA was so concerned that Apollo 12 astronaut Charles “Pete” Conrad would start cussing during the live transmission from the moon that they hypnotized him—without telling him. In transcripts from that voyage (which occurred 50 years ago last November), Conrad is humming “dum de dum dum dum” when his brain really wanted to say “%@*^*&!!” smithsonian

rd.com 73 FASCINATING FACTS

Motion Pillow

iFetch

Weird and Wonderful From a bicycle that rides on water to a pillow that stops you from snoring,

74 june 2020 Reader’s Digest

ProFlight Panthera Cat Toy Drone

Ruggie

By Andy Simmons

Inventions Illustrations by Louise Pomeroy these 18 innovations will blow your mind—and a hole in your wallet

rd.com 75 Reader’s Digest Fascinating Facts

For Kernza years, Donna had been desperate to get a good night’s sleep. The problem: her husband. He snored. Like a freight train. Donna tried the standard fixes: earplugs for her (uncomfortable and ineffective), mouth guards and nose gizmos for him (ditto), and shoving him (again, ditto). Then she heard about a really out-there solution called the Motion Pillow. Made by Korean company TenMinds, the pillow has four pres- sure-sensing airbags that connect to sounds just so the pillow will take his an outside microphone on a night- head on a roller-coaster ride. stand. Once the mic detects her hubby These days, her husband’s snoring shaking the shingles, it automatically no longer wakes Donna up—some inflates the airbags, which gently re- strange woman does: “Morning, position his head until he stops saw- Champ! Remember, all our dreams ing logs. Donna doesn’t always go for can come true if we have the cour- the expensive gadgets—inexpensive age to pursue them!” Who is this ri- ones are another matter—but when diculously peppy morning person? she heard that the Motion Pillow won It’s Donna’s new alarm clock. Bitten an Innovations Award 2020 from the by the gadget bug, Donna bought the Consumer Technology Association, Ruggie for $69. It’s the only clock that she decided to take the $378 plunge. gets her out of bed—quite literally. And it works! In fact, when she’s mad First, it rouses her using music, those at her husband, she makes snoring perky words of affirmation, or an alarm

76 june 2020 Bacon Patch Air-Ink

that can hit 120 decibels—a din real. But all the devices she akin to a pneumatic drill. When encounters in this story are. Donna reaches for the snooze A few are still in the develop- button, she is confronted by ment stage, but most are avail- the fact that the Ruggie doesn’t able right now. They might not have one. To make it stop, she change the world or your life, has to haul herself out of bed Aside from but they are delightful in their and stand on a foam mat— cereal, own quirky ways. Even if you the “rug” in Ruggie—for up to Kernza wouldn’t benefit from owning, 30 seconds. At that point, she is (above say, a robot designed to help left) has soundly awake. out in the bathroom (more on also been Now that you know all about used in that below), it’s awfully fun to Donna’s sleeping habits, here’s bread and read about the weird things something else you should snacks— that marketers and inventors know about her: She’s not and beer. are coming up with.

rd.com 77 Rollbot

Which brings us back Donna’s actual healthy break- to Donna. As it happens, she fast is a non-earth-shattering has high cholesterol, and her bowl of Honey Toasted Kernza weakness for bacon doesn’t Cereal from Cascadian Farm. help. Fortunately, a professor Developed by Kansas’s non- at England’s hallowed Univer- profit Land Institute, Kernza sity of Oxford is developing the is a new grain that has been Bacon Patch. It’s a nicotine- touted as a possible savior for style patch you wear on your our warming planet. Because arm; scratch it, and it releases it’s a perennial—unlike wheat, an aroma redolent of fatty, ba- oats, and barley—it sucks cony goodness. “Studies have greenhouse gases from the shown that scent can reduce air and traps them in its roots, food cravings,” insists its cre- much like a tree. It also soaks The Adapt ator, Charles Spence. Really? up nitrogen, a fertilizer ingre- BB 2.0 That smells fishy to some skep- dient that has been blamed for sneakers tics. “If I can smell bacon,” one polluting streams and rivers. (right) sitting atop feral bacon eater told the Tele- (Not a cereal person? Patagonia their graph when it reported on the Provisions makes beer with charging faux-porcine product, “I’ll want Kernza. Talk about the breakfast pad. to eat bacon.” of champions.)

78 june 2020 Fascinating Facts Reader’s Digest

Alas, Kernza is high in fiber, so off Grizzlies wore them). All Donna need to the bathroom Donna goes. “Poop do is insert her foot into the sneaker, anxiety is real,” a spokesperson for and digital sensors inside the sole do Charmin, the toilet paper brand, told the rest by deducing her foot size and CNN. And Donna agrees, especially automatically closing around it. when, after conducting her business, she realizes she’s out of toilet pa- per. She calls to her husband, but of “Pollution is bad, course he’s still asleep. So she fires up but it happens to be the Charmin app on her phone, and a good raw material the Rollbot comes to the rescue. Using to make inks.” infrared sensors, the self-balancing robot emblazoned with a teddy bear face arrives bearing a precious roll of Donna may be in good shape, preloaded toilet paper. (Alas, Charmin but her pudgy pets could use some has made only one Rollbot so far.) help. For her dog, she bought the Saved by the robot, Donna contin- iFetch ($115), a small blue-and-white ues to get ready for her day. She opens machine that sits on the floor and au- her dresser drawer and pulls out a tomatically launches a tennis ball up pair of Sensoria Smart Socks. The to 30 feet. The dog retrieves the ball socks ($199—OMG!) have a dock for and drops it into the hole at the top, a microelectronic chip that wirelessly and the iFetch launches it again. relays data about cadence, pace, heart When cats dream, they envision rate, and more to an app on Donna’s themselves prowling the Seren- phone. You can’t wear low-tech shoes geti stalking wildebeests. So Donna with high-tech socks, so Donna also bought Kitty the ProFlight Panthera bought a $400 pair of self-lacing Cat Toy Drone. As its name implies, sneakers, the Adapt BB 2.0, which it’s a drone, but this $100 novelty were created by Nike for athletes flies around the room dangling a (NBA star Ja Morant of the Memphis small toy for the cat to chase. It even has a built-in camera so Donna can Adapt BB 2.0 watch Kitty from her phone. Donna’s not concerned about the damage a drone might cause indoors because certapet.com assured her that “the safety features, including a collision avoidance system and auto altitude, help protect you from flying the drone into your cat or surroundings.”

rd.com 79 Reader’s Digest Fascinating Facts

Before leaving the house, Donna Because “the technology fades away stops to write a note for her hubby. when you want to focus on the world She reaches for a pad and her favor- around you,” says Mojo Vision CEO ite pen ever, the Air-Ink from Graviky. Drew Perkins (the lens hides whatever The pen (available only as a proto- was being displayed), it makes walk- type) literally writes with polluted air ing the busy streets safe, unlike when from captured carbon emissions. A you’re looking at your smartphone. cylindrical device called KAALINK fits Which, luckily, Donna doesn’t happen around a car’s tailpipe and captures to be doing at the moment—or else she up to 99 percent of its black particu- would have been clipped by a speeding late matter, which in turn is converted suitcase gunning for her at six mph. into inks and paints. “Pollution is That’s right: Created by a Chinese company called ForwardX Robotics, the Ovis Suitcase ($640) is a self- Users can scroll propelled carry-on that uses cam- through text or watch eras, facial-recognition technology, videos on a smart and a tracking algorithm to travel contact lens. hands-free with its owner, avoiding collisions as it wends its way through crowds. “Essentially,” says Nicolas bad,” Graviky cofounder Anirudh Chee, founder and CEO of ForwardX, Sharma told Time magazine. “But pol- “we’ve given the Ovis Suitcase a pair lution happens to be a really good raw of eyes and a brain.” material to make inks.” It’s like luggage and a pet all in one, Donna opens the door to a beauti- but you don’t have to pick up after the ful day. If she were wearing the Mojo suitcase. Lens, a smart augmented reality (AR) contact lens from Mojo Vision, she’d The Ovis does a U-turn and know it was 72 degrees outside be- returns to Donna, this time accompa- cause the lens would tell her. Donna nied by its owner, a German tourist. He has been coveting one for a while, holds two Ambassador earpieces, au- though it’s not for sale yet. The lens is dio devices with built-in microphones activated by eye movement and pow- that translate on the spot. He puts one ered by a minuscule battery that lives earpiece over his ear, and Donna does on the lens itself. Microelectronics are the same with the other. He asks in used to project images on the tiniest German how to get to the train sta- of built-in displays. Users can call up tion, but Donna hears the question in information, scroll through text, and English. She responds in English, and even watch videos. he nods, understanding everything

80 june 2020 Ovis Suitcase

since her words are relayed in Those stylish sunglasses German. The two could have carry a camera and video- spoken in Japanese, Mandarin, processing unit (VPU). Im- or Hebrew—the Ambassador planted in the visual cortex translates 20 languages and of Elaine’s brain is a tiny chip 42 dialects. Donna bids the containing 60 electrodes. The tourist and his Ovis auf Wieder- wireless VPU converts images sehen, then walks to her favorite from the camera into electrical restaurant and grabs a table. pulses, which are transmitted to Minutes later, her friend en- the electrodes on Elaine’s brain, ters the eatery wearing stylish which then figures out what she sunglasses. “Elaine!” Donna is looking at. People and objects calls out. Elaine slowly walks The Ovis appear as dots of light. “You over and takes a seat without Suitcase’s don’t even need to have eyes assistance, remarkable because battery for the device to work,” says allows it she is blind. Since she was fit- Nader Pouratian, MD, PhD, a to faithfully ted with the Orion Visual Cor- follow neurosurgeon at Ronald Rea- tical Prosthesis System from its owner gan UCLA Medical Center who California-based Second Sight, for up to has implanted the device in pa- she has led a more active life. 13 miles. tients. Elaine was sold when she

rd.com 81 Reader’s Digest Fascinating Facts

learned from onezero.medium.com After lunch, Donna leaves that a participant in a clinical trial was Elaine to run an errand. As she’s able “to see his birthday candles for the crossing the street, she gets a text from first time in more than seven years.” her husband: “How do I turn off the @$%^ iFetch?!” With her head bur- Orion Visual ied in her phone, she texts back, “I’m Cortical coming home!!” Donna’s an irreform- Prosthesis System able “twalker,” someone who texts while walking, and this time it’s not a suitcase but a car that almost gets her. She knows she has a danger- ous habit—pedestrian deaths are climbing—but is happy about the pro- tection on the way. Fred Jiang, assis- tant professor of electrical engineering at Columbia University, is working out the kinks on his Smart Headphones. The waitress comes by, and Elaine When they’re perfected, four minia- orders an Impossible Burger. Tempted ture microphones will “differentiate by a bacon cheeseburger at the next car sounds from background noise,” table, Donna wishes again that she had says mashable.com, and work with an that Bacon Patch. Instead, she orders app to calculate the distance and po- a salad, and the two chat away. Elaine sition of cars in order to alert wearers brags about the vacation her son took: when they are in danger of being run He rode a bicycle across a lake. over. That sounds wonderful to Donna. Well, not exactly. He rode a Back home, she switches off the Manta5 Hydrofoiler XE-1 Bike, which iFetch and joins her frazzled husband digitaltrends.com calls “the unholy on the couch to watch TV. But the offspring of a boat, an airplane, and screen is nowhere in sight. Donna taps an e-bike.” (It also has an unholy a button on a remote, and a 65-inch price tag: $8,990.) Instead of wheels, screen unfurls from a rectangular box the Manta5 is “equipped with a set of sitting on a stand, “emerging gloriously hydrofoils, which essentially function like an entertainment cobra from a like wings in the water. As you pedal basket,” says cnet.com. It’s an early and propel the bike forward, water version of the not-yet-available LG Sig- passes over these wings and creates nature OLED TV R9. Kept erect by nu- lift, much like airplane wings create merous thin horizontal bars and a pair lift.” One customer review swears, “It of riser arms on its back, the screen really is like flying on water!” can be raised some 50,000 times before

82 june 2020 Manta5 Hydrofoiler XE-1 Bike

potentially breaking down from this piece of “digital armor,” wear, according to LG. as the New York Times calls it, Donna’s husband puts an arm “will jam the Echo or any other around her. Overcome with love microphones in the vicinity for him, snoring and all, she from listening in on the wear- wants to tell him how she feels. er’s conversations.” Not yet on But their smart speakers and sale, the large, clunky plastic virtual assistants, such as Ama- cuff is dotted with 24 small zon Echo and Google Home, speakers that emit impercep- may be listening, so she opens tible ultrasonic signals to jam a coffee table drawer, pulls out prying microphones. The the Bracelet of Silence, and After whispering sweet noth- Manta5 slips it on her wrist. ings into her husband’s ear, water bike can slice The brainchild of Ben Zhao Donna calls up Amazon Prime through and Heather Zheng, married Video and orders a classic, water at computer science professors Casablanca. Sometimes the old 13 mph. at the University of Chicago, stuff is still the good stuff. RD

rd.com 83 HEALTH & MEDICINE 20 PAINS TO NEVER IGNORE

We all feel a twinge once in a while. When is it no big deal, and when is it a warning sign that something needs attention—now?

By Jen Babakhan and Tracy Middleton from thehealthy.com

Photographs by Hannah Whitaker rd.com 85 n o s r e h

what they had suspected. The welcome result: After p c a m a proper diagnosis, they each got the treatment they e k o

needed. Consider their journeys to be a guide for all of us. o r b

n o s i l ABDOMINAL PAIN must be an ulcer, so I changed my diet l a

:

to bland foods,” she recalls. Then she p u e

began losing weight rapidly. k a

“The Burning m

Further googling showed that her , . c n

abdominal pain and weight loss were i Sensation Turned y

both classic signs of colorectal can- e s a c Out to Be cer (often called colon cancer), but y d

Driben-Salcedo dismissed the pos- u j

Colon Cancer.” r

sibility because she felt she was too o f

a

When Amy Driben-Salcedo felt a young. By the time she made it to k i m

burning sensation in her abdomen in a doctor’s office, she had dropped a

g n

the summer of 2017, she ignored it for 25 pounds. Her gastroenterologist did i s u four or five months. “I have three kids blood work and X-rays, but everything n e

and was just busy with life,” says the came back normal. He prescribed r r a

high school guidance counselor, who medication for irritable bowel syn- w

l u

was 47 at the time. drome. After taking it for a few weeks a p

:

After the pain moved to her back, “I with no relief, Driben-Salcedo called r i a

googled my symptoms and decided it the doctor again. “On the way to the h

86 june 2020 Health & Medicine Reader’s Digest

COLORECTAL CANCER Most cases affect those over 50, but it is increasingly appearing in younger people.

rd.com 87 Reader’s Digest Health & Medicine

CT scan he ordered, I told my hus- MOUTH PROBLEMS band, ‘This must be what cancer feels like. I’m in so much pain.’” The scan “My Insatiable showed a shadow on her liver. A follow-up colonoscopy revealed Thirst Turned Out the truth—she did indeed have colorectal cancer. Driben-Salcedo to Be Diabetes.” had three days of chemotherapy every Carol Gee stood at the car-rental other week for a year. The treatment desk at Rapid City Regional Airport caused brutal side effects, including in South Dakota and began to tell the sleepless nights and weakness and agent her last name. That’s when she numbness in her hands and feet. But noticed her mouth had gone com- it was worth it; the treatment wiped pletely dry. Finding it hard to speak, out her tumor. she finished the paperwork and Unfortunately, Driben-Salcedo is handed her husband the keys. now battling a new tumor in her liver. Gee, 59 at the time, says she tried not Still, having beat cancer once, she is to panic. “It was the weirdest feeling optimistic that she can do it again— I’ve ever had. There was no moisture in and she says, “I’m now vigilant about my mouth whatsoever.” She attributed listening to my body and taking care it to the city’s elevation and the long of myself.” flight she had just taken, though the dry mouth became a feeling of endless WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? thirst. “Water wasn’t helping at all. I We all have tummy troubles now and drank and drank. That led to me using again, but belly pains sometimes sig- the restroom constantly. I was miser- nal serious conditions. A sharp pain able the whole day.” in the lower right side of the abdo- A few months earlier, she’d had a men could spell appendicitis; in the checkup with her doctor, who had lower left, diverticulitis; in the middle noted that Gee’s blood glucose level to upper right, gallstones; and closer was higher than usual. Says Gee, to the pelvis, ovarian cysts or a uri- “Since she didn’t offer medication, I nary tract infection. Dull or burn- assumed it wasn’t a big deal.” ing pain or cramping is sometimes Though she did her best to enjoy caused by an ulcer, irritable bowel her stay, Gee remembers the fatigue syndrome (IBS), or an inflamma- that hit her on the way home. “Walk- tory bowel disease such as Crohn’s ing from the airport to our car, it or ulcerative colitis. Stomachaches took every bit of strength I had to roll accompanied by fever could be viral my carry-on luggage. It was so hard gastroenteritis. to put one foot in front of the other.”

88 june 2020 Now 70, Gee says she’s obses- sive about tak- ing her insulin and testing her blood. “I wish I had been more proactive and asked my doc- tor about my high glucose level when she first found it. I would have said no to that cake, my blood sugar never would have gotten that high, and this all wouldn’t have been such a sur- DIABETES prise,” she says. It is estimated that 7.3 million Americans have WHAT ELSE undiagnosed diabetes. COULD IT BE? Smell something funky when you The next day, she called her doc- open your mouth? If you also have tor, who recommended a trip to the white spots on your tongue, it could emergency room. “When they tested be an oral yeast infection—or a my blood glucose, the doctor said, tumor. If your breath smells like sour ‘You have type 2 diabetes, and you’re milk, you might be lactose intolerant; in bad shape. Your glucose level is like nail polish remover, you’re prob- so high, it’s a wonder you’re not in a ably eating too much protein. Red diabetic coma or worse.’ That’s when lesions on the tongue, loose teeth, it hit me how serious it was.” When canker sores, or red or white patches Gee was admitted, her blood glucose inside the mouth that last longer was 900 mg/dl, a long way from a than two weeks could signal cancer. normal result of less than 140 mg/dl. White, yellow, or brown spots on your

rd.com 89 COUGHING Coughing accounts for more than 30 million doctor visits a year. Health & Medicine Reader’s Digest teeth might indicate celiac disease. A COVID-19. His was one of the first glossy red tongue is a sign of a pos- cases diagnosed in Minnesota. “It was sible vitamin B12 deficiency. shocking because it was still relatively new. It still seemed like a foreign is- COUGHING sue,” he says. By Sunday, his sore throat had worsened considerably, his “My Cold violent coughs would not stop, and his fever spiked to 103 degrees. “The body Turned Out to aches were unlike anything I’ve expe- rienced. I could barely move.” Be COVID-19.” Among the most disturbing symp- Earlier this year, 20-year-old Jonah toms was his lack of taste and smell. Stillman, an author and a public “I couldn’t differentiate between cake speaker, traveled to Thailand, South and pizza. The texture was the same, Korea, Australia, and England. On the and there was absolutely no taste. I flight home to Minneapolis, he says, “I had to force myself to eat because my had a minor sore throat and cough.” gag reflex was so strong. I didn’t attri- News about the spread of COVID-19 bute this to COVID-19 originally, but was just breaking then, but at the time now I see that it’s one of the defining it seemed to be affecting mostly older symptoms,” Stillman says. people, so he didn’t think that could His recovery took two full weeks, be what he had. “I don’t get sick often, and Stillman started to tell his story I work out six days a week, and I have as a way of urging other young people a very clean diet,” he explains. Still, to take the disease and social distanc- because he has family members with ing seriously. “Even if you don’t have underlying conditions that he’d heard symptoms, this impacts other families could raise the risk of complications and individuals,” he says now. or death from the virus, he called his doctor the next day. WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? “Once they heard all of the places I Coughs can linger a long time, but had been,” Stillman says, the doctors if yours persists without other cold “definitely wanted to test me. They symptoms, you might have acid met me at the back door of the office reflux, chronic bronchitis, heart in full personal protective equipment failure, pneumonia, or lung or throat and led me to a room. The entire pro- cancer. ACE inhibitors and beta- cess took about 15 minutes. That was blockers taken for high blood pressure on a Wednesday.” can also cause a cough. Generally, if That Saturday, he received the you’re coughing up blood or green or news that he had tested positive for yellow phlegm, let your doctor know.

rd.com | june 2020 91 Reader’s Digest Health & Medicine

NUMBNESS AND TINGLING After a neurologist ordered a spi- nal tap, a CT scan, and an MRI, she “My Numb Feet finally discovered what plagued her: multiple sclerosis (MS), a disease of Turned Out to the central nervous system that dis- rupts the flow of information to the Be MS.” brain. Chester had endured five years Cathy Chester was fresh out of col- of numbness, weakness, and fatigue. lege and making a name for herself in Still, she says, “I was one of the lucky Manhattan. When she noticed numb- ones who got an immediate diagnosis ness and tingling in her feet, she at- from the scans. My test results were tributed it to stress and walking long very clear. That brought a sense of re- city blocks in cold weather. “I chose to lief because I finally knew what to do ignore the symptoms, and they grew to help myself.” incrementally worse,” she says. When Today, Chester, 61, says, “I never the numbness began to move up to got the feeling back in my right leg, her lower legs, Chester decided to get even after therapy, and the fatigue some medical advice. The doctor told is awful—I have to take a nap every her that her shoes were too tight. day at two, no matter what.” Chester, She bought larger shoes, but deep now a health advocate, looks to the down she knew that he was wrong. future with hope. “It’s my mission to The numbness progressed toward educate, inspire, and bring awareness her knees and thighs, causing her to about MS. For so long, none of us had stumble. A few times she was even a voice.” accused of being drunk. Along with weakness, fatigue often overtook her. WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? “I figured I was exhausted from living A pins-and-needles or numb feel- on my own and trying to keep up in ing is often just a sign that a part of a competitive job market. It felt like your body has “gone to sleep.” But if I had the flu, but a thousand times the feeling lingers, it could be a blood worse,” recalls Chester, who was work- clot, a pinched nerve, or peripheral ing as a copywriter at the time. neuropathy (itself often caused by One evening when on her way diabetes). If you also have trouble to catch the bus home, she says, “I seeing, speaking, or understanding looked down and saw that one of my words, you may be having a stroke. A high heels had come off ten feet be- feeling of numbness in the chest that hind me. I didn’t even notice it be- has lasted longer than 30 minutes cause my feet were so numb. That was could be a heart attack, especially if a real wake-up call.” accompanied by dizziness or nausea.

92 june 2020 | rd.com MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS MS is most commonly diagnosed in people between ages 20 and 50. Women com- prise 75 percent of patients. Reader’s Digest

HEADACHES assumed that her busy schedule and long hours working as an assistant principal of an elementary school “My Nagging were just taking their toll. Headache The aching persisted for several weeks and was often so bad that Turned Out to Jones had to hold her head when she coughed or sneezed. One afternoon, Be a Stroke.” the pain suddenly intensified. “I felt In 2013, Latarsha Jones got a doozy of like everything was going in slow mo- a headache. Jones, a mother of three, tion. I couldn’t get words out, and my

STROKE A stroke cuts off blood to just part of the brain, so symptoms often appear on only one side of the body. Health & Medicine speech slurred. I was numb on the left side.” When first responders arrived, Jones was unable to lift her left arm or say her ABCs, two tests used to deter- mine whether a patient has suffered a stroke. At the hospital, an MRI re- vealed she had indeed experienced an ischemic stroke, which occurs when 15 More a vessel supplying blood to the brain becomes blocked. Symptoms to “Doctors are still looking into fac- Get Checked tors that may have caused it, because my blood pressure was not extremely MUSCLE PAIN high and the other tests were border- Muscle soreness is likely normal if you line. I believe my obesity was the main can pinpoint the reason and it dissi- factor,” Jones says. pates over time. If it doesn’t, ask your In response to her terrifying or- doctor whether it could be arthritis, deal, Jones has stepped up her activ- influenza, Lyme disease, lupus, ity and cleaned up her diet. Today, fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumat- the 47-year-old is an American Heart ica, or rhabdomyolysis. Some medi- Association Go Red for Women Real cations can also cause muscle pain. Women volunteer. She is still recover- ing from her stroke and takes medica- BREATHING PROBLEMS tion daily to prevent another. When you just can’t get enough air, the reason could be a bacterial in- WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? fection, chronic obstructive pulmo- Nearly everyone gets skull-throbbers. nary disease (COPD), lung cancer, Dehydration, poor posture, certain or COVID-19. Call your doctor if your foods, and stress are common causes, breathing troubles come on suddenly but some head pain indicates a big- or worsen after 30 minutes of rest. ger issue. If a headache wakes you up in the morning or doesn’t get better BRAIN FOG with medication, it might be a brain Dementia, fibromyalgia, multiple tumor. And if it’s coupled with a high sclerosis, menopause, or an under- fever and a stiff neck, you might have active thyroid can all cause changes meningitis. Headache accompanied in concentration and memory. Some by blurry vision or trouble focusing medications, such as beta-blockers could be an aneurysm. and statins, can also be the culprit.

rd.com | june 2020 95 BACK PAIN Dehydration, stress, HERNIATED inactivity, a poor DISK diet, or the wrong Herniated disks wardrobe (high are twice as heels or too-tight common in men outfits) could be as in women. to blame for back- aches. If your back hurts when you first get out of bed in the morning, the pain may be from osteo- arthritis. Pain in the lower and upper back, on your side, or in your groin can be a sign of a uri- nary tract infection that has spread to the kidneys. A her- niated disk can hit the nerves in your spinal cord, caus- ing pain.

CHEST PAIN Chest pain can be a scary red flag for a heart attack—and you should call 911 when you take a deep breath, you may if you think you’re in cardiac arrest have costochondritis. or if you also experience shortness of breath, cold sweats, nausea, light- FATIGUE headedness, overwhelming fatigue, You might blame your exhaustion and/or a feeling of doom. But those on an insanely busy schedule or just pangs in your chest could also be a feeling lazier than usual. But anemia, sign of anemia, shingles, pancreati- depression, diabetes, heart disease, tis, a stomach ulcer, a panic attack, and sleep apnea are other possible or lung cancer. If the pain gets worse causes.

96 june 2020 Health & Medicine Reader’s Digest

FEVER women. If your nausea is accompa- A body temperature of 100.4 degrees F nied by pain in the upper right side or above is normally a sign that your of the abdomen, you may have had a immune system is working to fight gallbladder attack. If you have back off an infection, such as strep throat, pain and a fever along with nausea, influenza, or COVID-19. But if you also chances are a urinary tract infection have abdominal pain, you might have has morphed into a full-blown kidney appendicitis; tenderness and swell- infection. Stomach ulcers and pan- ing in your legs, deep vein thrombo- creatic cancer can also cause nausea. sis; skin that is red and painful to the touch, cellulitis; a cough or shortness RASH OR HIVES of breath, pneumonia; or bloody urine An intensely itchy, blistering rash can or pain when you urinate, a urinary signal celiac disease, while dark skin tract infection. patches called acanthosis nigricans are often a sign of diabetes. A red, an- HEARING PROBLEMS gry rash can be a symptom of leuke- If you didn’t spend last night at a mia. A painful rash that appears in a rock concert and your ears are sore, strip on one side of the face or body is it could be an ear infection, referred characteristic of shingles. And if pain from an infection in your teeth you’ve recently been hiking, you may or jaw, or temporomandibular joint have Lyme disease or Rocky Moun- (TMJ) syndrome. If you’re experienc- tain spotted fever. ing hearing loss on one side or a con- stant ringing sensation (tinnitus), you ACNE might have a tumor in the temporal Although most acne can be attrib- lobe, the part of the brain responsible uted to clogged pores or fluctuating for processing sounds and language. hormones, blemishes can also indi- Some diuretics for heart disease, cate leaky gut syndrome, polycystic chemotherapies, and antibiotics can ovary syndrome (PCOS), or stress. damage your ears, as can type 1 and type 2 diabetes. BREAST PAIN “The vast majority of women who NAUSEA AND VOMITING come in with breast pain do not have Feeling queasy is often a side effect cancer,” says Diana Ramos, MD, co- of motion sickness, pregnancy, or chair of the National Preconception gastroenteritis. But heart attack Health and Health Care Initiative. symptoms can also mimic stomach Other culprits could be pregnancy or problems such as nausea, vomiting, an infection. Men who feel breast pain or overall GI upset—especially in might have testicular cancer.

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CONSTIPATION AND DIARRHEA Going to the bathroom too much—or too little—can be a sign of celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, irritable bowel syn- drome (IBS), leaky gut syn- drome, depression, or too much protein. If constipation becomes severe and persistent, it could indicate colorectal cancer. Con- KIDNEY stipation or diarrhea accompa- DISEASE nied by bloating or needing to In one study, urinate often might mean ovar- 36 percent of patients ian cancer. NSAID pain relievers, with chronic kidney magnesium-containing ant- disease had half-white, acids, and proton pump inhibi- half-brown nails. tors can cause the runs, while narcotics, diuretics, iron supple- ments, and antacids can stop you up. can signal that you’re not making enough stomach acid. NAIL PROBLEMS When your nail bed is concave, or VISION AND OTHER EYE PROBLEMS spoon-shaped, you have a condi- Blurred vision that worsens over time tion known as koilonychia, which is may be cataracts or glaucoma. Bleed- usually caused by anemia. Suddenly ing in the retina may signal diabetes. swollen skin near the cuticles with Antihistamines, sleeping pills, anti- nails that are bulbous can be a sign of anxiety pills, and some pain reliev- lung disease. Tiny little dents along ers cause eye dryness and redness by the surface of the nail are associated reducing tear secretion. And cancers with psoriasis or alopecia areata. that start in the brain or spinal cord Nails that are white with a pink or can affect vision, while those that start brown band at the tip are associated in the pancreas can cause jaundice— with kidney, liver, or heart prob- yellowing of the whites of the eyes. RD lems. Melanoma can appear under your nails as a black spot on the nail With additional reporting by Charlotte bed or a dark-colored line. Brittle nails Hilton Andersen, Alyssa Jung, that peel or split can be caused by an Marissa Laliberte, Karyn Repinski, underactive thyroid. Ridges in nails Jenn Sinrich, and Lindsay Tigar

98 june 2020 Reader’s Digest

“It’s the officer’s foxhole.”

Humor in “Without a letter of mine losing it over from public affairs, the railing alongside UNIFORM we’ll have to take your several other soldiers. camera.” “I never knew I did the only thing you had such a weak Anyone wanting to I could do: I pulled a stomach,” I said. take pictures on our notepad and pen from “It’s not weak,” he base’s airfield needs a my bag and wrote a replied. “I’m throwing letter from public letter giving myself per- up just as far as the affairs, which happens mission to take photos. rest of these guys.” to be me. One day, The MPs read the letter, —George Mahathy while out snapping saluted, and left. Franklin, Tennessee photos, I was stopped —Joe Macri by the military police, Winchester, Virginia who asked for my let- Your funny military ter from public affairs. Aboard a troop carrier story could be worth “But I am public crossing the Atlantic, $$$. For details, go to affairs,” I said. I noticed a seasick pal rd.com/submit.

Cartoon by Bill Thomas rd.com 99 LIFE WELL LIVED On Dad’s Trail, Forever

He taught me how to ride and all the rules of the road

By Taylor Brown from garden & gun

rowing up in St. Peters- burg, Florida, my dad G had a paper route on his bicycle and then his scooter—perhaps discover- ing then his love of two wheels. I picture him as a teenager on his Vespa, sky blue with bloody clouds of rust, crackling and

100 june 2020 Reader’s Digest

illustrations by Armando Veve rd.com 101 Reader’s Digest

smoking across the bridges of Pinellas and we were on country roads south County. The evening papers, hot from of the Florida line. When we stopped the press, are rolled like warm loaves for gas, I pulled up next to him, overly in his leather satchel. His taillight is a excited, and my foot slipped in a patch red ruby in the falling darkness. of gravel. Almost in slow motion, I Fifty-six years later, in the fall of dropped the bike, 600 pounds of Mil- 2017, I left my home in Wilmington, waukee iron. I could see the pain and North Carolina, on Blitzen, my 1989 frustration in his face. But instead of Harley-Davidson Sportster—a bike my lashing out, he gritted his teeth and dad and I had built together—bound brought his emotions to heel, even for New Orleans. My route would take me down the old coastal highway, FOR ME, THERE’S U.S. 17, stopping overnight at my par- NOTHING AS ents’ house south of Savannah, where I grew up, before heading across the THERAPEUTIC Gulf Coast to New Orleans. My longest AS A LONG RIDE. solo ride yet. I wasn’t even out of town before the bike gave me trouble, a slight misfire. I as he thumbed the new dents and called my old man. We usually spoke scratches in his once-perfect machine. a few times a week. I’d been riding “Happens to the best of us,” he on the back of his Harley since I was told me. True, everyone who rides a in grade school. When I was in my motorcycle will drop one sooner or teens, we’d hunted the back roads of later. Still, how easy to forget in the South Georgia for places to ride our heat of the moment. Rick Brown—my dirt bikes. Now, with me in my thir- dad—didn’t. I believe that’s one of the ties, we were becoming closer friends great lessons I learned from him: that than we’d ever been. We’d worked character often requires us to place side by side on Blitzen with hardly a what is right over what is easy. tiff—no small feat when wrenching Back in Wilmington, after a few on a 30-year-old motorcycle. What’s minutes on the phone, we decided more, we’d begun to share a love of that Blitzen’s misfire was only a fleck riding like never before. I still remem- of rust or debris that made it through ber the knowing light in his eyes when the fuel filter—the engine was throb- I described the feeling of my first long bing low and steady now, like a me- solo ride. chanical heart. I’ll never forget the first time he let I hit the road. me ride his prized 90th Anniversary On rides like these, I always avoid Harley-Davidson Wide Glide. I was 16, the interstates, just as he taught me.

102 june 2020 Life Well Lived

There’s so much more to see on the marshes and blackwater rivers, bound back roads and byways. The roadside for Georgia. My old man met me in produce stands and junk shops, the downtown Savannah. We ate lunch Pentecostal churches and mom-and- and went to a bookstore and sat at one pop restaurants and gas stations that of the hotel bars high over the water, serve coffee in tiny Styrofoam cups— watching the river traffic chug past. It the best coffee in the world when was an unexpectedly special day. A gift. you’re just off your motorcycle, rain- The next night, we sat side by side at soaked and shivering. the kitchen counter while we planned For me, there’s nothing as thera- the next legs of my trip. I made note peutic as a long ride on the back cards as he traced his fingers across roads. It feels like the wind gradually the worn atlases he’d used time and blows away the nests of doubt and again. I was taking many of the same anxiety that gather inside us. I think roads he’d ridden in times past, fol- on motorcycles we are uniquely vul- lowing his path across the Gulf Coast. nerable. We are, perhaps, closer to There are sons who want to be like death, and that puts the lesser worries their fathers and sons who don’t. I’ve of everyday life back in their place. never doubted which I am. After spending the night in Charles- When I slung my leg over Blitzen ton, I took off early the next morning, the next morning, our note cards were riding south over the green-brown safe in my front pocket, in a plastic sandwich bag to protect them from the elements. It was October 16, two days before my 35th birth- day. In a photo taken that morn- ing, I’m wearing my secondhand black leather n w o r b r o l Dad and me in y a t

2016, suited up y s

e for a fundraiser, t r the Distinguished u o c Gentleman’s Ride

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jacket and my red backpack, and my dad’s old weatherproof duffel is tied over the back of my saddle. The weather was foggy. I rode over the bridges and causeways of the Georgia coast, where the water looked pale beneath the mist, almost white, winding through the darkened cordgrass of the falltime marsh. I rode down Highway 17 through a string of small towns, skirting the Okefenokee Swamp and the Osceola National For- est, making my way to the Panhandle. When I got the call from my mom, I still have the note cards that tell I was at the lodge in Wakulla Springs, me the towns—Folkston, Macclenny, south of Tallahassee. I’d just arrived. I Sanderson, Lake City, Branford— knew from the sound of her voice that along with the trip checklist my father something had happened, though de- gave me, listing such necessities as tails were scarce. There had been an “Tire patch kit/pump” and “Duct/elec- accident. A concrete truck had pulled trical tape” and “Cigars/lighter/cutter.” out in front of my dad on his way Around lunchtime, I stopped in home from lunch, on Highway 17 just Mayo, Florida, where I took photos north of the Florida line—the same of the Udder Delight ice cream shop. highway I’d ridden that morning. I texted with my old man. He’d rid- I was at the local airport, about to den to a diner called Steffens near the rent a car for the drive home, when Georgia-Florida border for lunch and Mom called to tell me he was gone. I sent me a photo of a die-cast 1940 Ford found myself standing in the parking coupe sitting on a shelf there—a model lot, staring up at the sky. It was sun- like the bootlegging car from my novel set, and the sky was almost the color Gods of Howl Mountain, which we’d of fire. I thought how many times Dad “researched” together at vintage car had ridden south to watch this same shows and moonshine festivals. sky turn to flame. He told me he’d checked the I started out early the next morn- weather and the heavier rain was ing in the rental car, leaving Blitzen staying north of my route. He said under a cover in the parking lot. My Wakulla County, Florida—my night’s sister took the red-eye from San Fran- destination—was partly cloudy and cisco, and I picked her up at the air- 88 degrees. I didn’t reply. I was al- port on my way home. When we got ready back on the road. there, Mom had a big manila envelope

104 june 2020 Life Well Lived labeled with a single word: IF. Inside the axle bolt free with an ancient cres- were letters addressed to each of us. cent wrench when a man appeared. I Here is a little of mine: followed him to his rusted-out Ford, and he produced a fancy Snap-on Taylor, ratchet set. He went inside for break- If you are reading this, something fast, where there weren’t even any has happened to me. I assume it was windows to make sure I didn’t run off sudden and I didn’t have the chance with his tools, and told me to come to say goodbye and for that I am truly find him when I was done. I can’t tell sorry ... you how much that meant to me. I know this is a difficult time but The next day, I made it to my aunt’s remember the good times we share— in New Orleans, where my dad always Sun & Fun, Sturgis, dirt bikes, Moon- shiners’ Festival, Blitzen, Austin, and I THINK OF MY DAD on and on. I have truly enjoyed all EVERY TIME the time we spent together throughout your life (other than a couple of times I THROW MY LEG playing golf :) ) ... OVER THE SADDLE. What I want to stress in this letter is how much I love you and how proud that I am and always will be ... stopped on his long rides, and Blitzen broke down right in her driveway, as I don’t need to tell you that it takes if the machine knew just how much it a special kind of man to write letters meant to me to finish the ride for him. like that. Though he shied away from He may have left the world too speaking of it, his relationship with early for us, but I take some comfort his own father had been fraught with in knowing he would have wanted to difficulty and pain. How easy it would go too soon rather than too late. Rick have been for him to follow that same Brown would have wanted to die with pattern with his own children. In- his boots on, and he did. He died doing stead, he went against the grain. what he loved, and that is rare indeed. A week after the accident, one of These days, I’m more vigilant than my closest childhood friends drove ever on the bike. But there’s no place me back to Wakulla Springs. I needed I feel closer to my dad. I think of him to finish the ride. every time I throw my leg over the sad- I left early the next morning for New dle. I think how much I learned from Orleans. I stopped at a gas station and him, how lucky I am to be his son. RD realized my chain was loose. I was sit- garden & gun (june/july 2019), copyright © 2019 ting in the parking lot trying to break by taylor brown, gardenandgun.com.

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Photograph by Joleen Zubek DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

I WAS SCAMMED BY MY BEST FRIEND

She swindled me out of $92,000, forcing me into bankruptcy and destroying my once sunny outlook. But I finally got justice.

By Johnathan Walton from huffpost.com

rd.com | june 2020 107 ReIader’s Digest fell hard for one of the oldest cons in the book. But this scheme wasn’t cooked up by some fictional Nigerian prince soliciting me through a sketchy e-mail. I fell under the spell of an im- mensely lovable woman who inserted herself into my life and became my best friend. She was also an interna- tional con artist on the run. She snared me in an age-old con called the Inheritance Scam, ultimately bilking me out of nearly $100,000. She m

simultaneously destroyed my sense of Today, she’s in jail, probably won- o c .

self and darkened my once joyful out- dering how on earth she became the n o t l

look. As she was ruining my life, she victim of one of her own victims. a w

was also scamming dozens of others Allow me to explain. n a h t

around the world by impersonating She introduced herself to me as a n

psychics, mortgage brokers, psycholo- Mair Smyth in May 2013, when she h o j

gists, lawyers, and travel agents and joined a group of angry neighbors in y s e t

even pretending to be a cancer victim. my living room to discuss what to do r u

She was a true queen of the con, about losing access to our building’s o c

: using disguises and plastic surgery to swimming pool because of a legal spat e g a p alter her appearance. I was a reality with a neighboring building. s i h

TV producer, working on shows such “I can help,” she told us. “My boy- t

d

as American Ninja Warrior and Shark friend is a lawyer who can get the pool n a

)

Tank, and I never saw through her back!” t e s n

masterful performances. She might I liked her immediately. We all did. i (

d

have gotten away with cheating many She was brash. Funny. Intelligent and a e r

more people if she hadn’t turned me outspoken. Ironically, for someone p s

s

into a vigilante. I started my own in- who turned out to be a liar and a con u o i

vestigation, uncovered other victims, artist, she came across as a woman v e r

and helped bring her to justice. who would always “tell it like it is.” p

108 june 2020 Drama in Real Life

Soon Mair became more than just a neighbor or even a close friend. She and my husband (right) and I were family.

Constitution,” she said. “See that sig- nature at the bottom? That’s my great- uncle’s.” I had no idea that, like her shoes, that tale was fake. Mair brought me Irish tea and pas- tries and regaled me with stories of how when she was a young girl, her OVER SEVERAL MONTHS, I LENT MAIR $15,000. I WASN’T WORRIED. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

She also came across as extremely grandmother, who was supposedly wealthy. She wore expensive Jimmy in the Irish Republican Army, would Choo shoes and once showed me her take her to the top of a bridge and closet filled with more than 250 pairs. teach her how to hurl Molotov cock- I later discovered they were all fake. tails down on British soldiers. I was After our initial meeting in my captivated and horrified. apartment that night, Mair invited When I tearfully confided in her my husband, Pablito, and me to din- that part of my family had disowned ner. Over the next year, she frequently me for being gay, she pounced. “My wined and dined us at fancy restau- family disowned me, too!” she said as rants and always insisted on picking she fought back tears. “They’re trying up the bill. “I have a lot of money—let to get me disinherited.” me pay!” she’d plead convincingly. Mair told me that an uncle, the pa- We’d hang out almost every evening triarch of her family, had recently died, in our barbecue area, exchanging in- and her cousins were dividing up an timacies under the cool Los Angeles estate worth 25 million euros (about sky. Mair told us she was originally $32 million). She said she was sup- from Ireland. One night she pointed posed to receive 5 million euros as her to a framed document hanging in share of the inheritance and showed her living room. “This is the Irish me angry text messages and e-mails

rd.com 109 Reader’s Digest

from her cousins threatening that she person would forfeit his or her share. wouldn’t get a dime. “You’d better be careful!” I cau- Mair told me she had taken a lot of tioned her. “One of your disgruntled family money with her when she left cousins might try and set you up!” Ireland many years ago, so she never Many of her family members certainly needed to work. But she claimed she appeared to hate her. Why wouldn’t enjoyed working, so she got hired at a they set her up? I thought. travel agency where her family did a On July 8, 2014, my phone rang. lot of business. “You have a collect call from an in- Fourteen months into our friend- mate at the Century Regional Deten- ship, Mair and I were like sister and tion Facility. Press one to accept,” the m o

brother, even ending our phone calls computerized voice instructed me. c . n

with “I love you.” She told me that her It was Mair. I quickly pressed one. o t l barristers (I had to look up the word “You were right!” she sobbed. “I was a w n

to learn that it means “lawyers”) were arrested today. My family set me up to a h t

having trouble trying to secure her make it look like I stole $200,000 from a n h

inheritance and that they had warned my job.” o j

y

her about a clause in her uncle’s “I told you this would happen!” s e t

will stating that if any family mem- I yelled. I was distraught. I found a r u o

ber were convicted of a felony, the bail bondsman and paid him $4,200 c

110 june 2020 Drama in Real Life

A queen of the con, Mair took on dozens of personas, using disguises and even plastic surgery to change her look.

immediately paid back the $4,200 I used to bail her out of jail, so I felt confi- dent she’d pay me back any other money I loaned her. But that’s the thing: The term con artist is short for confidence artist because these individuals are skilled at gaining your confidence and then using it to scam you out of your money. Over the course of sev- eral months, I lent Mair to get her out of jail. That’s when I nearly $15,000. You’d think I’d be first learned that her legal name was worried about giving her that much Marianne Smyth, not Mair Smyth. But money, but I wasn’t. Not only was she she paid me back the next day, when my best friend, but she also claimed she was released from jail. Or, rather, she was about to inherit millions of the married man she was dating at the dollars. I never even considered that time paid me back. Little did I (or he) anything sinister could be taking know she was scamming him too. place. As the months passed, Mair showed One day, Mair called me and said me e-mails from her lawyers assuring the DA was demanding $50,000 to her that the case against her was fall- dismiss the case against her. I didn’t ing apart. I had no idea those e-mails have $50,000 in cash. But I did have were from fake accounts she had cre- an 840 credit score. So I let her charge ated herself, just like the messages she the $50,000 on my credit cards to get claimed were from her cousins. the criminal case against her dropped. Then, almost three years into our A few months later, Mair was arrested friendship, she told me that the dis- again. She said the judge had charged trict attorney prosecuting her case her with money laundering, some- had frozen her bank accounts. So I thing to do with her using my credit started lending her money. She had cards, and punished her with 30 days

rd.com 111 Reader’s Digest

I was a TV producer, not a detective. But I was determined to get justice.

in jail—a “slap on the wrist.” She assured me, once again, that as soon as she got out and re- ceived her inheritance, she would pay me back. Mair called me col- lect from jail every day. When I said I wanted to come visit her, she begged me not to. “I don’t want you Her bank accounts had never been to see me like this,” she said. But I in- frozen. There was no wealthy Irish sisted. So I logged on to the jail’s web- family or inheritance. She’s not even site to schedule a visit. That’s when Irish! Those were all lies she used to the true devastation she had wrought entrap me. on my life started to reveal itself. I went home and collapsed in my The website showed that Mair was husband’s arms. “How could I let this serving time for felony grand theft. happen to us?” I sobbed. This was no slap on the wrist. Eventually, my pain was replaced I took the day off and rushed to a by breathtaking anger and the deter- Los Angeles courthouse. With trem- mination to do something. bling hands, I reviewed every record I The day Mair was released from could find from Mair’s case. I discov- jail, I confronted her in the parking lot ered she had lied to me about every- outside our apartment building. She thing. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. denied everything. “That’s not true, I learned that the $50,000 I let her Johnathan! That’s not true!” she pro- charge on my credit cards had gone tested as tears streamed down her face. to pay $40,000 as part of a plea agree- But I was done believing anything ment to a felony grand theft charge she she had to say. I balled up my fists, faced for stealing more than $200,000 clenched my jaw, and walked away. from the travel agency she worked for. We never spoke again. n o

Had she not been able to come up I went to the police days later, in s r e t

with that $40,000, she would have re- March 2017, and filed a report. The of- e p

y

ceived a five-year jail sentence, not the ficer interviewing me seemed skepti- l l a

measly 30 days she actually served. cal that there was anything they could s

112 june 2020 Drama in Real Life do. “Don’t give strangers your money” She used this particular scam a lot. were his parting words. So I started A police detective in Northern Ire- my own investigation. land told me that authorities in Belfast I dug up Mair Smyth’s high school had been looking for Marianne Smyth yearbook and learned that she was for years. The detective said she had born Marianne Andle in Maine and worked as a mortgage broker in 2008 graduated from Bangor High in 1987. and had scammed many people and She later moved to Tennessee, where, then vanished. according to estranged family mem- All in all, Mair Smyth used at least bers I spoke with, she claimed she had 23 different aliases and has been breast cancer and allegedly scammed charged with fraud and grand theft in friends and neighbors out of thou- Florida and Tennessee. sands for “treatments.” They told me I was determined to get justice and Mair was oddly obsessed with wanting called the Los Angeles Police Depart- to be Irish. In 2000, she went to Ire- ment every day. land on vacation. She ended up mar- rying a local and stayed for nine years. THE PROSECUTOR WENT In the same way that wooden stakes OVER IN EXTREME DETAIL kill vampires and silver bullets kill werewolves, publicity kills con art- EVERY DOLLAR MAIR HAD ists. I began turning my pain into a SCAMMED FROM ME. profound sense of purpose. I started a blog, johnathanwalton.com, detail- ing how Mair had scammed me. Soon, A year after I’d last seen her, Mair other victims of hers from all over the was arrested and charged with grand world started reaching out. theft for scamming me. She was re- I heard from one who claimed Mair leased on her own recognizance. I had scammed her out of $10,000 by never went near her, but one month impersonating a psychologist. She before trial, Mair filed for a restraining allegedly tricked our landlord out of order against me, asserting that I was $12,000 in rent by pretending to have threatening her with violence. It cost cancer. Mair had iron-deficiency ane- me $1,500 to hire an attorney to fight mia and would purposely avoid iron- her bogus claim. “If a judge grants rich foods so she could get admitted the restraining order, you would be into hospitals for iron infusions. prevented from testifying against While sitting in a hospital bed, she’d her at her criminal trial,” my lawyer ask a nurse to take her picture and explained. then e-mail that photo to her vic- Could this be her checkmate move? tims to better sell her cancer story. I wondered. I was apoplectic.

rd.com 113 Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life

Thankfully, the judge refused to bankruptcy because of what she had grant the restraining order, and Mair’s done to me. And the 24 court appear- trial proceeded. The prosecution pre- ances I made even before the trial— sented a mountain of irrefutable evi- for continuances, pretrial motions, dence. Though she was charged with and hearings—meant I missed a lot of scamming only me, the judge allowed work and lost even more money. Not testimony from three other victims to to mention the cost of hiring private demonstrate a pattern. investigators in multiple states and Mair did not testify in her own de- countries to ferret out all her scams. fense. As witnesses described how she But it was worth it. had scammed them, she just sat there On January 9, 2019, Marianne with an emotionless look on her face. Smyth was found guilty of conning That was probably her biggest tell to me out of $91,784—the money she the jury. She was a brilliant actress had borrowed plus thousands of dol- while she was conning people, but lars of interest that had accrued on my remarkably, she didn’t know how to credit cards. She was sentenced to five act innocent. years behind bars. The only defense her attorney had Besides me, only two of Mair’s other was that I was making the whole story marks reported her to the police. That up. Supposedly I had persuaded all of enabled her to continue scamming the other witnesses—people I didn’t people for years. Most of her victims, even know before Mair scammed like most victims of any con artist, me—to lie under oath. He was terrify- were too ashamed to tell anyone what ingly convincing. had happened to them. The prosecutor went over in ex- I am now suspicious of everyone treme detail each dollar Mair had and everything. Making new friends is scammed from me. Reliving that not something I’m good at anymore. experience in front of a roomful of And I’m ashamed too. But my desire strangers ignited fury and embarrass- to stop her from hurting other people ment and regret in a new, painful way. is much stronger than my shame. RD I spent two years pursuing huffpost.com (august 16, 2019), copyright © 2019 Marianne Smyth. I had to file for by johnathan walter.

The Fast and the Furious The speed limit is the maximum speed you can go by law and also basically the minimum speed you can go without ticking everybody else off. lordpounce on reddit.com

114 june 2020 Reader’s Digest

A Little Bird Told Me YOUR On a self-imposed COVID-19 isolation, I felt increasingly depressed from living alone. TRUE After a long, spiritless walk, I remembered to STORIES feed the birds before settling in for the eve- in 100 Words ning. Loading the feeder, I noticed a chicka- dee (my favorite bird) alighting on a nearby branch. As I stepped away, the bird flew An Ode to Dad to the feeder, pausing on a perch. Looking When I was a little girl, my father always let me help me straight in the eye, it sang a high-pitched him with car and home re- “cheep, cheep,” then grabbed a seed and pairs. Afterward, he used flew off—a thank-you I’ll never forget! Tears to say, “I couldn’t have done it without you!” If he welling up, I knew God had not forgotten me. deemed a job too danger- His little messenger reminded me of that. ous, he would seat me out —David Gregorski Coventry, Connecticut of harm’s way and have him. He insisted this

— litchfield, ohio

To read more true

indiana

Illustration by Hallie Bateman rd.com 115 STORY TIME IS FOR EVERYONE Reading aloud, even to other adults, yields surprising rewards

By Meghan Cox Gurdon from the book the enchanted hour

ot long ago, Linda Khan brought as gifts. Her father had always was sitting by a hospital been a reader, but lately he didn’t bed in Houston, feeling have the energy or focus. She picked N ill at ease. Beside her lay up Young Titan, Michael Shelden’s her 88-year-old father. His biography of Winston Churchill, and heart was faltering. He needed surgery. started to read it out loud. What troubled her almost as much “Right away it changed the mood as his health was the fact that all day and atmosphere,” she says. That after- the two of them had engaged in noth- noon, Khan read to her father for an ing but depressing small talk. She hour. It was a relief and a pleasure for and her father had always had good both of them. Reading gave the daugh- conversations, but now he seemed ter a way to connect with her father and )

4 to be sunk in querulous contempla- help him in a situation that was other- ( s e tion of his predicament. He talked wise out of her hands. Listening al- g a

m about the lousy hospital food, the lowed the father to travel on the sound i y t tests, the doctors, the diagnosis, the of his daughter’s voice, up and out of t e g

potential outcomes. The scope of his the solipsism of illness and back into , ) l

o once wide-ranging interests seemed the realm of mature, intellectual en- o t s to have shrunk to the size of the room. gagement, where he felt himself again. n o

“It is really hard to sit with a person “He’s in and out of the hospital a lot n a in a hospital,” Khan says. “It feels like now,” Khan says, “and I always read to m (

k there’s nothing to talk about except him.” e b u their medical situation.” That may be just what the doctor or- z n e That day in the hospital, her eye fell dered. In a 2010 survey in the United e l o

j on a stack of books that people had Kingdom, elderly adults who joined

rd.com 117 Reader’s Digest weekly read-aloud groups reported why, since 2014, volunteers at the better concentration, less agitation, American Society for the Prevention and an improved ability to socialize. of Cruelty to Animals have read to the The survey authors attributed these animals under the group’s care. improvements in large part to the “Ten or fifteen years ago, I was es- “rich, varied, nonprescriptive diet of sentially the only person who worked serious literature” that group members with the neglect and abuse cases,” consumed, with fiction encouraging says Victoria Wells, the organization’s feelings of relaxation and calm, poetry senior manager for behavior and fostering focused concentration, and training. “I used to sit with them, in narratives of all sorts giving rise to front of their kennels, and play guitar thoughts, feelings, and memories. and sing. I used to play the Beatles. The second-century Greek doctor I noticed that the dogs who were Antyllus even prescribed daily recita- very fearful, in the back of their ken- tion to his patients, recommending it nels shivering and cowering, would as a kind of health-giving tonic and slowly creep forward to the front. declaring that “epic verse is the best They would appear to be listening, for one’s health.” and they would become very relaxed.” An epic poem might be a tall order, The dogs’ response to music led in but in truth almost any kind of read- a natural way to the idea of reading ing to another person can be benefi- aloud. It was a practical means of al- cial. That seems to be especially true lowing a larger number of volunteers for Alzheimer’s patients, according to to minister to recovering animals. a 2017 University of Liverpool study Some volunteers keep the animals of 800,000 men and women with de- apprised of current events by reading mentia. “Reading a literary text to- the newspaper, some choose chil- gether not only harnesses dren’s books, and others the power of reading as prefer adult fiction. On a cognitive process; it the day I stopped by, acts as a powerful so- a retired opera singer cially coalescing presence, was reading the sci-fi s

allowing readers a sense of thriller Logan’s Run to e g subjective and shared ex- half a dozen dogs. a m i

“The dogs really en- y perience at the same time,” t t e

the study’s authors wrote. joy the reading,” Wells g / s

We are not the only spe- says. “The fact that it’s e g a

cies to benefit from this not threatening but it’s m i

a

kind of oral medicine. attention all the same is r t e

Dogs do, too, which is what’s most beneficial. t

118 june 2020 The Genius Section

We noticed that it really does assist that right before she started to read in the standard behavior treatment. the Churchill biography to her fa- The dogs are much more receptive to ther, she was tempted to put the book us, and they seem more comfortable down. It felt odd and even improper in their kennels in general ... I think to presume to read to a man who, for it’s that soothing, even tone of voice her entire life, had always been strong and the presence of somebody to keep and independent. She didn’t want them company that really, really ben- him to feel patronized. Her fear was efits them.” misplaced; they both ended up loving Readers get rewards too. For Neil the experience. Like so many others Bush, the late-life hospitalizations of who brave the momentary weirdness his famous parents, George H. W. and of reading to another adult, they were, Barbara Bush, became opportunities to borrow a phrase from Wordsworth, surprised by the joy of it. WE ARE NOT THE ONLY Who wouldn’t want that? One night years ago, a friend of mine wandered SPECIES TO BENEFIT into his family’s living room after sup- FROM THIS KIND per and picked up a copy of Michael OF ORAL MEDICINE. Shaara’s Civil War novel The Killer Angels. Without thinking much about it, he started to read the preface out to repay a debt of gratitude. “When I loud. Immediately, he was joined was a kid, [my mother] would read to by his eldest son, who was about 12 me and my siblings,” he told a reporter at the time. A moment later, his wife in the spring of 2018. With his parents came in, followed by the couple’s two in and out of care, he said, “we’ve young daughters, who at six and eight been reading books about Dad’s for- were not perhaps the target audience eign policy and, more recently, Mom’s for an introduction to Robert E. Lee memoir.” and Joshua Chamberlain but wanted Bush went on, his voice thick with to be part of a family moment. Within emotion: “And to read the story of a few minutes, everyone seemed so their amazing life together has been comfy and engaged that my friend a remarkable blessing to me, person- kept reading. It went on for an hour ally, as their son.” that night. He picked the book up Reading to a spouse, sibling, or again after dinner the next night, and parent might seem so far outside the the next, until he had finished it. RD normal range of most people’s regu- excerpted from the book the enchanted hour by lar activities as to be eccentric and meghan cox gurdon, copyright © 2019 by meghan cox gurdon. reprinted with permission of a little peculiar. Linda Khan told me harpercollins publishers.

rd.com 119 Reader’s Digest

BRAIN GAMES

Quick Crossword easy It’s beach weather, 12 so place these waterside retreats in the grid. 34 MYRTLE 56 ORANGE 7 CHIMNEY PISMO CRANE 8 MIAMI OCRACOKE LANIKAI 9 KALALOCH BRIGHTON 10

Summer Camp medium Abigail, Oliver, Rosa, and Blake all attend the same summer camp, where they can cook, kayak, rock climb, and zip-line. Each child has a different favorite activity. Can you figure out who likes what best based on the following clues?

✦ Abigail’s favorite activity isn’t rock climbing. ✦ Oliver is afraid of heights. ✦ Rosa can’t do her ) 4

favorite activity (

r

without a harness. o d a

✦ m

Blake likes to keep a

a his feet on the i r a

ground at all times. m

120 june 2020 The Genius Section

Full Circle easy What number should appear in place of the question mark?

1432 2143 3214 ?

Shorthanded Double Trouble difficult Which cards are missing in the third and medium Rephrase each fourth hands? item below as a pair of rhyming words. Hint: A phrase’s number is also

) the number of syllables in e l

b each word in the answer. u o r t

e 1. A purse from northern l b u Europe o d ( 2. A manly tortilla chip n a

m covered in cheese d o o 3. An eatery with a blasé g y l attitude i m e

. 4. A docile teenager ) d e d 5. An association special- n a

h izing in spontaneity t r o h s

, e l c r i c l l For more Brain Games, u f

( rd.com/ go to i s e crosswords

n . a d l e c r a m For answers, turn to page 126.

rd.com 121 Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

9. kalimba n. WORD POWER (kuh-'lim-buh) a tea service. b thumb piano. c motor scooter. What do an academic, a debacle, and a 10. blackball v. Miami Beach clambake have in common? ('blak-ball) They are words spelled with letters from only a exclude socially. the first half of the alphabet, a to m—like all b demand money. c cancel without notice. those in this quiz. (Answers on page 124.) 11. ebb v. Next issue: the second half of the alphabet. (eb) a rise slowly. By Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon b decrease. c encourage. 1. affable adj. 5. malleable adj. 12. jackal n. ('af-uh-bull) ('mal-ee-uh-bull) ('jak-uhl) a easygoing. a cruel. a wild dog. b humorless. b sickly. b trickster. c qualified. c pliable. c thatched hut. 2. filial adj. 6. Gallic adj. 13. addled adj. ('fih-lee-uhl) ('gal-ik) ('ad-uhld) a ornamental. a Scottish. a egg-shaped. b of sons and daughters. b French. b confused. c on horseback. c Roman. c extra. 3. edifice n. 7. allege v. 14. imam n. ('eh-duh-fiss) (uh-'lej) (ih-'mom) a steep cliff. a compare and contrast. a electronic message. b inspiration. b approach cautiously. b atomic particle. c large building. c assert without proof. c Muslim prayer leader. 4. calcified adj. 8. fallible adj. 15. fiddlehead n. ('kal-sih-fyd) ('fal-uh-bull) ('fih-duhl-hed) a hardened. a autumnal. a edible fern. b wasted away. b fertile. b large crab. c rusted through. c imperfect. c violinist.

To play an interactive version of Word Power on your iPad, download the Reader’s Digest app.

122 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

Half-Time Notes Three different prefixes can signal a half: There’s semi- (as in semicircle), hemi- (hemisphere), and demi- (demigod). As it happens, all three prefixes occur in music—and in one case, in the same word. A hemidemisemiquaver is a 64th note, or a half of a half of a half of an eighth note, which is called a quaver. The shorter the note, the longer the name!

Word Power 6. Gallic (b) French. 12. jackal (a) wild dog. ANSWERS Crepes are a classic What is the mayor’s Gallic dish. office going to do about the pack of jackals on 1. affable (a) easygoing. 7. allege (c) assert the loose in our town? Guillermo is always without proof. At the time affable, even when facing you allege my dog dug 13. addled (b) confused. big deadlines at work. up your azaleas, he was Uncle Paul can get addled actually at the vet. when he doesn’t take his 2. filial (b) of sons and medications. daughters. “Is some 8. fallible (c) imperfect. filial respect too much The captain may think 14. imam (c) Muslim to ask around here?” he’s always right, but prayer leader. Local Mom joked. even his judgment is imams, rabbis, and fallible sometimes! priests formed a task 3. edifice (c) large force to promote building. The Gothic 9. kalimba (b) thumb religious tolerance. edifice will be restored piano. My niece taught by a team of experts. herself to play Mozart 15. fiddlehead (a) sonatas on the kalimba. edible fern. We’re serving 4. calcified (a) hardened. salmon on a bed of Mary’s political opinions 10. blackball (a) exclude sautéed fiddleheads s only calcified as she grew socially. E.J. was black- for lunch. e g older. balled from the garden- a m i

y

ing club after she missed t t 5. malleable (c) pliable. four meetings in a row. e g /

After her first yoga class, s o i

Emily found that her 11. ebb (b) decrease. d u t s muscles weren’t all that Tamika’s enthusiasm for Vocabulary Ratings d e malleable. knitting began to ebb 9 & below: blah r a

10–12: mild u

after she made a few mis- q s

shapen scarves. 13–15: ideal c

124 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest The Genius Section make BRAIN GAMES us ANSWERS laugh! See page 120. Quick Crossword across down 5. myrtle 1. pismo 7. lanikai 2. miami 8. crane 3. brighton 9. ocracoke 4. orange 10. chimney 6. kalaloch Summer Camp Abigail likes to zip-line, Oliver likes to kayak, Rosa likes to rock climb, and Blake likes to cook. Full Circle 4321. Moving right, the last digit in the circle be- comes the first digit in the next. The other three dig- its stay in the same order. Caption Contest What’s your clever description for this Shorthanded 8 picture? Submit your funniest line at

Third: Fourth: RD.COM/CAPTIONCONTEST. Winners will 8 Each hand has all four appear in a future Photo Finish (PAGE 128). suits. The number on the fourth card in each hand is the sum of the numbers Reader’s Digest (ISSN 0034-0375) (USPS 865-820), (CPM Agreement# 40031457), Vol. 195, No. on the first and third 1161, June 2020. © 2020. Published monthly, except bimonthly in July/August and December/ k January (subject to change without notice), by Trusted Media Brands, Inc., 44 South Broadway, c o cards, and the number on White Plains, New York 10601. Periodicals postage paid at White Plains, New York, and at t s

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126 june 2020 | rd.com Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

PHOTO FINISH Your Funniest captions

Winner “Yes, dear, we’ll visit your mother as soon as I finish cutting the grass.” —Ron Haney Milton-Freewater, Oregon Runners-Up “After you’re done mowing the lawn, you can get the toothbrush k

and sweep the driveway.” c o t s

—Susan Grannell Dunedin, Florida r e t t u h

First day of basic training at barber college. s / r

—Barry Caulfield Little Silver, New Jersey e k o r b e g a m To enter an upcoming caption contest, see the photo on page 126. i

128 june 2020 | rd.com