IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX This Week’S Issue
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www.felixonline.co.uk @felixImperial /FelixImperial [email protected] Keeping the cat free since 1949 Issue No. 1585 October 24th 2014 2 24.10.2014 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX This week’s issue... [email protected] Felix Editor Philippa Skett EDITORIAL TEAM CONTENTS Editor-In-Chief A poorly captioned photo of PHILIPPA SKETT News 3–6 Deputy Editor a man sweeping in Metric PHILIP KENT Comment 7–8 Treasurer THOMAS LIM Features 9–10 speaks a thousand words Technical Hero Science 11 LUKE GRANGER-BROWN ast week we ran two stories the night when the newspaper layout News Editors Technology 12 that we were worried (or did gets too much. If anyone needs any AEMUN REZA Lwe hope?) would cause a storm. post-it notes, give us a shout. CECILE BORKHATARIA Music 15 One was covering the amenities funds Finally, we saw the launch of our KUNAL WAGLE cut, and the other was looking at the amazing, brand new website last first non-alocoholic bar night ran by week. Personally, I was dozing in the Comment Editors Television 16–17 TESSA DAVEY Imperial College Union. Surprisingly, corner after a particularly stressful Film 22–23 the latter story is the one that is submission of the paper the night Technology Editors seemingly kicking up a storm. before, but I heard that it all went JAMIE DUTTON Arts 24–27 We are running a whole page this smoothly and was launched on time. OSAMA AWARA week dedicated to the news story that We are still uploading articles onto Science Editors Food 28–29 only warrented about 200 words in the site a few batches at a time. The LAUREN RATCLIFFE the first place, most of which were entire pdfs of each issue are still JAMES BEZER Travel 30–31 tounge in cheek. there to have a scroll through, in case Our journalistic prowess has come you want to relive the shadow-dick Games Editors under attack, with a lot of it to do THIS WEEK’S EDITORIAL phenomenon from Issue 1583. MAX EGGL Fashion 32 CALUM SKENE with the “illustrative” photo we used If you want to see it in all its glory Welfare 33 to accompany the article. Apparently too (the centrefold itself, not the Arts Editors our credit (or lack of, as it were, for the Office congratulating friends and actual penis shadow), come down FRED FYLES Hangman 34–35 the front page thumbnail version) trying to help my Section Editors at to the Office. You might as well ask KAMIL McCLELLAND was not enough to explain how the the same time. Credit to them, we us how you can get involved whilst Music Editors Puzzles 36–37 photo was not a completely correct actually managed to make this issue you're here. GRACE RAHMAN representation of the entirity of the with time to spare, a rare occurance PHILIPPA SKETT AMNA ASKARI Sports 38–40 night. in the production of the Felix FELIX EDITOR Honestly, I thought it was hilarious, newspaper. Television Editors and I am sure that at some point they In other news from the Felix Office, GIULIA GABRIELLI JOHN PARK What’s on this week: did indeed sweep Metric that night. we are so, so close to completion. We Let’s use this as the lesson that taught are just waiting for the infamous Film Editors us that photos may be louder than semi-circular desk to appear, which ELLEN MATHIESON ACC Night words, and also that we love to rub the should arrive Monday. We have a JACK STEADMAN JOHN PARK 20:00 - 02:00, Oct 29th, All Union up the wrong way every now dictophone now, so can start running and then. wire taps into the office of Chris Kaye, Union bars Book Editor As I actually graduated last year Deputy President (Betrayal). We also DIANA LUCACI With a theme of S&M and (picture related), this Wednesday I have lots of stationary that we have M&S, come dressed as an spent the day popping in and out of stolen from the Union in the dead of Fashion Editor old lady or bring your best CECILE BORKHATARIA ball gag. Or do both. I am Food Editors planning to turn up rocking CURRENT FELIX VACANCIES CAROL ANN CHEAH my whips and a zimmer We are looking for a new team of If you enjoy website management, Don’t know how computers work? MICHAEL CHUNG have used the internet before or just We don’t either, so don’t worry about frame. Web Editors, to manage online Coffee break Editors content, approve comments, keep our really want some free stationary, having any prior experience. TESSA DAVEY Tickets: £8.50 online, £9.50 on site in check and get everything onto come down to the Office or get in Email us if you are keen: ELLEN MATHIESON touch and we can show you the ropes. [email protected] the door the website by Friday afternoon. Travel Editor Tickets include four beers or YUNG NAM CHEAH bombs Welfare Editors DIBA ESBATI CHANON WONGSATAYANONT SKETT’S BOX OF SHAME Clubs and Societies Editor Apologies for some mistakes in Issue BEN HOWITT 1584. These were: Sport Editor - Missing some copy editors off the KUNAL WAGLE roll call on the editorial page due to a formatting hitch COPY EDIT TEAM - The DramSoc advert, the iPOP advert and the photo in Televion Copy Chiefs STEPHEN BALL were of a terrible quality, due to ELLEN MATHIESON a technical diffi culty that occured as we sent the issue to print. We Copy Editors ANNINA SARTOR apologise. TOM RIVLIN - Losing the font for Diary of a BEN HOWITT Fresher and having to use one that JUNE GAN MICHAEL FAGGETTER is more akin to a secondary school MATTIN MIR-TAHMASEBI homework piece then a satire section JASPER MENKUS of a newspaper. CECILY JOHNSON FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 24.10.2014 3 News [email protected] News Editors Kunal Wagle & Carol Ann Cheah Imperial graduands flock to Royal Albert Hall for graduation Philippa Skett reports on the main events from Commemoration Day t was Imperial’s favourite day Medals for Outstanding off this week, as graduands came Contributions to Teaching Excellence Iback to touch the Gast hand and were presented to to Professor Mary finally graduate completely. More Morrell from Faculty of Medicine than 2200 undergraduates passed and Dr William Knottenbelt from through the Royal Albert Hall to the Department of Computing. Dr receive their degrees in three separate John Gibbons from the Department ceremonies that took part during of Mathematics and Dr Rudiger Commemoration Day. Woscholski from the Department of This was the first Commemoration Chemistry will both receive Medals day for Imperial’s new President, for Excellence in Pastoral Care. Professor Alice Gast, who told Medals for Supporting the Student students to “Take all that you have Experience were presented to Dr learned and put it to work,” during Maria Toro-Troconis, School of her speech. Medicine, and Mr Ian Gillett from “The demands of the world are the Safety Department. daunting. We need well-educated But why is it called leaders like you who can develop the Commemoration Day? The day new approaches, the clever solutions is named in honour of a visit to and the compelling ideas that will Imperial by King George VI and guide us in the future.” Queen Elizabeth in 1945, on the The ceremonies also included centenary of the foundation of the presentation of the Awards the Royal College of Chemistry, for Outstanding Achievement, Imperial’s oldest forerunner. which went to Caroline Wood Chris Kaye, Deputy President from the Department of Chemistry (Welfare), said he was impressed when (a former Felix editor) and they played God save the Queen, Alireza Tahmasebzadeh from the although he said he got emotional Department of Bioengineering. “due to a separate matter.” I know that this day happens every year, but for some reason it makes me all teary and proud. Photo: T. Lim A-level results can’t be finalised “until October” KUNAL WAGLE sure if the increases were as a result SECTION EDITOR of “fundamental weaknesses in marking”, but did point out that there is now a “lack of confidence in the exam system”. niversities have been told that Richard Harman, who is the they shouldn’t view exam Chairman of the Headmasters’ and Uresults as “finalised” until the Headmistresses’ Conference said that end of October. OCR, a leading exam “The college or university places of results board, added to the statement tens of thousands of students have saying that all results “remain been needlessly jeopardised this provisional” until all re-marks are autumn and the exam boards must be complete. Re-marks aren’t fully made to do much better.” finished until the end of October, UCAS, who run the admissions which is a month after most degree platform for most UK universities, courses start. released a statement in which it said, Universities don’t want to wait “We strongly advise students who until October to make their final have requested a remark to contact decisions, which means that many the university or college immediately students could miss out on their and explain their situation. university places due to human error “Institutions guarantee students in the marking of papers. who have requested a remark that The news comes as it emerged their offer remains open until 31 that more than 45,000 exam grades August. were changed this year on appeal, an “After this point universities will increase of 15%on last year.