Hash House Harriets News Letter The Harriets Committee Members Grand Mistress Lorena Ferreira Wet Brazilian [email protected] Hareline Jennifer Dale Posh Nash [email protected] Hash Brew Melanie R Smith Zipp [email protected] On Sec Chris Newling Wet & Wild [email protected] Asst On Sec Jennie Lim Suzee Wong Hash Cash Donna Smith Lost Marbles [email protected] Asst Hash Cash Patricia Boo Quickie Haberdash Lee McLaughlin Pubic Zipp Committee Fiona Smith Stiffener Committee Chris Binding Loose Change

Next Run Run Report # 2074 Run:2075 The ‘Forced Kan Kan’ Run. 06/3/2013 When: Wednesday 13th March 2013. What time The ‘It Pays to do a Recee before does a 6 o’clock run start? (6.10 these days) you Announce the Run Site’ Run Where: Riverside Park. Hares: Posh Nash, Wet Brazilian. Where: Durian Seller’s car park facing Napier Rd, Dempsey – Hares: Kannot Kan, Kan the Kobra, Forced Entry. Harding Lane, car park behind St On On: The usual Coffee Shop nearby (and it is George’s Church. good) On On: Samy’s Curry

Map: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

AGM May 1st: Stand up and be counted ladies. You will get your name at the front of every highly respected run report for 12 months. (Associate Members - sit down and drink beer–let’s hope for a long meeting with a swimming pool venue). More information to follow.

The Run: After deciding their original run site was not a wise option (as it no longer exists), the Hares opted for Harding Lane behind St.George’s Church. However, the local authorities had decided that this car park was not of a satisfactory standard to accommodate the Hash, and decided to upgrade it. And to keep out any riff raff in the meantime, they had barricaded the entrance. Thankfully, Hooray had a cunning plan, and with Herculean strength he pushed the barricades aside, allowing us in.

1 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

Singapore Hash House Harriets News Letter Perhaps the GM had word that the run was a bit short, as the run did not start until 6.10. Apart from Hooray, who started at 6.01. Or was the GM too busy distracted moaning about the $3 pair of genuine Thai Oakley sunnies she had lost setting the run? Off towards the Embassies around Tanglin, on what would become basically become a clockwise loop, apart from a section that doubled back anti clockwise for a bit and led Comes Quietly astray. He is not the first male to be led astray by searching for a bit. Gypsy, having managed to escape the clutches of the Kiwi walk and talk machine, decided to follow Phony Dick in the direction of Orchard. Only thing was, it was a phony trail – he wasn’t on paper. A tour of how the other half live in Ridley Park saw Give Way in front at least 3 times as she reached trotting speed. Along some sort of a pipeline and we ended up on the soccer fields for the final stretch home. Well done Hares, good work.

The Circle: Wet Brazilian, hands on hip, is accused by Stiffy of stealing Saliva’s run she is setting next Friday. It is a brave person to mess with Saliva. Posh Nash was not happy with her run; it made her so sick she had to go home. Interesting facts: 1. Totally Unacceptable has 5 hamstring muscles – 3 in one leg and 2 in the other. 2. Samys Curry is spelt with only one ‘m’.

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too sick, too punctual. Good run.

Tell us about your On On: Samy’s Curry. $12

Next week’s run: Sengkang Riverside Park.

Visitors / Returnees: Phony Dick, Tore, Dead Fish, Totally Unacceptable, Gary.

Virgins: Deb and Bruce. G’day Bruce.

New Member: Nope.

Lipstick: Hooray for starting 9 minutes before everyone else, Boo (look alike Posh Duck), Comes Quietly, Whales Vagina (who did not even do the run) and Gypsy, who was hiding somewhere.

Tits: Missing – last week Stiffy accepted them on behalf of Gypsy. Hope Stiffy didn’t leave them hanging around. 2 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

Singapore Hash House Harriets News Letter

Dick: Sneaky, who received the Dick last week for getting himself a seat in the middle of the English rugby supporters, with a complimentary British Lions scarf, is chasing terrorists in the Philippines. [

Awards – nope

AOB:  Wet Pet noticed a bit of wife swapping – seems like Kannot Kan and Not Tonight were seen in an embrace. In comes the other 2 partners, Kan the Kobra and Stiffy. But Kan the Kobra decides on a 3some cuddle with her husband and Not Tonight, leaving Stiffy standing alone looking slightly puzzled and dejected.  Slowcum noticed Loose Change doing her own thing on the run, but still managed to find the GM’s sunnies. But wait a minute – she was not on trail, the glasses are not Oakley and they are not even sunnies. ‘But they are grey,’ she announced proudly. Guess it’s the thought that counts.  Big Head was reminded of the story of Creation, and how Adam and Eve were tempted into sin. Not Tonight kept insisting that Big Head pick the apples from the tree along the trail, ‘Go on, take one, there are many.’ said the evil temptress. But Big Head resisted the temptation. Good gal, may you go to heaven with an endless supply of apples.  Mother’s Tongue was impressed by Not Good Enough being a real gentleman and helping the ladies over a small stream. Not Good Enough is all smiles at this stage, basking in the glory of being classed as a gentleman, as opposed to the rest of the male riff raff. Mother’s Tongue tells us that he commented something about ‘Well, someone has to help the ugly women.’ You Bastard!  Not Good Enough tries to tell us it was a true story. Brionic in fact. (It is not the policy of this scribe to publish anything that resembles the truth – I take no responsibility for any articles bearing resemblance to the truth appearing –CR). Apparently Not Good Enough was suffering from palpitations, causing him to suffer sweaty palms, (amongst other sweaty body parts) from helping so many women. But at least he helped, not like the other bastard men who ran on. Bastards he says. Bastards. Yes, the scribe got that. BASTARDS.  Kamala complains that if Not Good Enough is such a gentleman, he should have wiped his hands after helping each lady. (Yes, you don’t know where there’ve been). No pleasing some people.  Kannot Kan and Lost Marbles husband, Gary, are charged by Kamala for flirting with Committee members. Are the ladies attracted by their similar blue checked shirts? After several more comments from 3 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

Singapore Hash House Harriets News Letter Kamala that were beyond the capabilities of my scribing skills, Kamala suddenly stopped and turning to the Circle with a totally vacant look, asked ‘Now what is my f#*king charge?’ (this is what I ask myself every week trying to scribe a Kamala charge –CR)  Stiffy thinks that the runs are getting shorter, and starting later, thus enabling some uneducated souls to do a warm up. Deb, the virgin, was seen sprinting past St George’s Church at 5.45 and into the car park. Tiger Lily apprentice?  Slocum gets into Whales Vagina, who is leaving Singapore for Texas. (Hope he does not get harpooned by the Japanese whalers on the way). When he was charged earlier, he complained to the Hash Brew, Zipp, that she gave him too much head. Head? Who said head? I’ll have some of that.  It is Croc Hunter’s Birthday and he is brought in for a celebration. Wonder how much head he got from the Hash Brew? He seemed happy anyway.

So on that happy ending, it’s On On to the On On. Scribed by Cock Radio.

And remember; Inside every older person is a younger person wondering ‘What the f#*k happened?’

4 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

Singapore Hash House Harriets News Letter Subscription Payments

1. Direct transfer to Harriets Bank Account using Internet Banking. If you do this, please email [email protected] when you have paid. • Account: Singapore Hash House Harriets • Bank: DBS • Account Type: Current • Account Number: 008-007442-9 2. Pay Assistant Hash Cash by Cash or Check at a run. Subs are $100 per quarter for Ladies and $130 for Men.

Harriet’s Web Site

Reminder that Harriet’s members (including Associates) are entitled to a log- on to the web site. With a log-on, you are able to:

 View and update personal details, such as address, phone numbers, shirt size, and preferred email address.  View your run count, run transcript, and runs hared transcript.  “Claim” a run from the Hareline – that is, for runs that do not yet have hares, agree to set the run.  For runs you have claimed: o Update your co-hares from the members list or add guest hares. o Edit the run and on-on location, special occasion and other notes. o Update the map with the run and on-on location so it automatically shows up on the web site. All you need to do is ask Sneaky Comer by email or at a run.

More details are available at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Un_uWxWjjxg

5 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

Singapore Hash House Harriets News Letter National Parks

 Hares must give at least 4 weeks’ notice to the GM’s if intending to set a run in a Nature Reserve.  The GM will advise the procedure to get permission from National Parks. (To be revised once procedure is complete).  Only toilet paper is allowed at the Nature Reserves. Flour and chalk are not to be used under any circumstances.  Paper should be laid conservatively and inconspicuously to the general public.  Hares are responsible to clear up the paper by the next day or the sweeper is to clear up the trail. (This is to be done irrespective of where the run is laid).  Stick to the existing tracks (i.e. those clearly marked by the Npark) if you are laying runs in the Nature Reserves.  Strictly NO CHOPPING of plants in the Nature Reserves.  No Creating or cutting a new path in the Nature Reserves.  No arrows to be drawn on the roads or anywhere else in the nature Reserves.  Hares are accountable for their runs and if in the event a fine is imposed the hares will have to bear the cost. These fines are significant. (Up to $500). Repeat offences will lead to even heavier fines and result in that Hash Chapter being banned from running in Nature Reserves for 6 months.  Outside the Nature Reserves, use flour only on the ground and not on tree trunks.  Labrador park, Sungei Buloh, and are also managed by the Nparks, so be mindful when setting runs there.  Maps of the Central Catchment area are appended below.

Nparks now have a contact for each Hash Chapter in Singapore (in most cases the GM) and will call up any chapter that breaches any of these rules and will ban the Chapter till the matter is resolved. A warning will also be issued to the chapter. A fine will be imposed if a second breach is committed. The hares will have to bear the cost of the fine.

Hares will need to think even more carefully about their run sites and trails. Hares will need to plan their run well in advance. Sweepers will become increasingly important – for making sure all runners return safely and for picking up the paper. Late comers to a run may find that there is no trail left to follow as the sweeper will have picked it up. These guidelines have been agreed on by all Hash Chapters in Singapore

6 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

Singapore Hash House Harriets News Letter

7 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com

Singapore Hash House Harriets News Letter

8 Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: 24 Cactus Drive, #08-04, Singapore 809694 Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com