Sacred Speech — Sacred Communities
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Sacred Speech — Sacred Communities BY MARGARET MOERS WENIG1 o the rabbis, gossip was a seri- argue with them, revise them or adapt ous crime: “One who speaks them. This process of study can help T lashon hara2 [gossip] . de- us use the power of speech for good and nies the fundamental principal of the not for evil, for the creation of sacred existence and authority of God” (B.T. communities rather than for their de- Arachin 15b). “God does not accept the struction. prayers of one who speaks lashon hara” (Zohar, M’tzora). “Lashon hara is the Lashon Hara Overheard cause of our exile” (B.T. Yoma 9b, Gittin 57b). • In her sermon, the rabbi is compar- In contrast, anthropologists, philoso- ing and contrasting the religious tra- phers and feminists enumerate the cru- ditions of Judaism and Islam. A cial roles that gossip plays, “conveying member of the congregation hap- information without which,” as Sisela pens to be a scholar of Islam. In his Bok has put it, “neither groups nor so- view, the rabbi’s portrait of Islam is cieties could function.”3 Who among simplistic at best, a dangerous dis- us could function without gossip? Who tortion at worst. He finds it diffi- among us would want to? And yet, cult to sit through the rest of the ser- most of us also know from experience vice, difficult to concentrate on the the serious damage gossip can cause. remaining prayers. For him, the ser- The friction between these conflict- mon has undermined the rabbi’s ing attitudes sparks a debate that sheds credibility. When, at the kiddush, an- new light upon a complicated issue and other member says, “Wasn’t that an challenges us to reconsider our ideas interesting sermon?” the scholar of and alter our behavior. It is impossible Islam blurts out exactly what he to study the laws of lashon hara with- thought. out reaching a new level of conscious- • A synagogue nominating commit- ness about our use of words. At the tee is meeting to choose a slate. When same time, it is also impossible to study one potential nominee is mentioned, the traditional prohibitions against someone says, “I’ve worked with him. lashon hara without feeling the need to He makes many promises and ful- Rabbi Margaret Moers Wenig is Instructor of Liturgy and Homiletics at He- brew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion. The Reconstructionist Fall 2002 • 41 fills few. He’s disorganized and for- pipes up, “Jewish leaders are so gets deadlines. When he loses his hypocritical. That’s why I’d never temper, watch out!” The committee join a synagogue.” passes over that proposed nominee. When the slate is made public, the Laws of Lashon Hara member who was overlooked is dis- appointed. He is a longtime mem- “Who is the person who desires life ber and wanted to serve the congre- (hafetz hayim) . ? Guard your tongue gation as a trustee. He mentions to from.. evil and your lips from speaking a friend, “I don’t understand what guile” (Ps. 34:13-14). The rabbis’ pro- happened. I would have made a hibitions against lashon hara were col- great trustee.” The friend, who hap- lected and expanded by Rabbi Israel pened to be on the nominating Meir Kagan, who in 1873 published committee, tells him why his can- anonymously the Sefer Chofetz Chayim. didacy was rejected. This teacher of musar (ethics) came to • A student’s paper is severely criti- be known by the title of his book. Zelig cized by a professor. “Look at this,” Pliskin, in Guard Your Tongue: A Prac- the student says to friends, show- tical Guide to the Laws of Lashon Hara ing them the professor’s comments. Based on Chofetz Chayim,4 makes the As a result, none of the friends reg- Chofetz Chayim eminently accessible isters for a course taught by that to the English reader. According to the professor. Chofetz Chayim: We are “forbidden to • Teenage girls at a sleepover get to relate anything derogatory about oth- talking about their classmates. ers. If a derogatory statement is true, it When one mentions Max, Sarah is termed lashon hara. If it is false, even and Jessica roll their eyes. Allison, partially so, it is termed motzi shem ra who is also at the sleepover, hap- (defamation of character) and the of- pens to be one of Max’s good friends. fense is more severe. .”5 Reporting to On Monday morning, Max says someone that another has acted or spo- something nice to Allison about Sa- ken against him, called rechilut (tale- rah and Jessica, who stopped to talk bearing), is also prohibited. When with him in the hallway. “You lashon hara (including motzi shem ra know, Max, they don’t really like and rechilut) is spoken, no fewer than you,” Allison tells him. 31 biblical commandments are vio- • The local paper carries the story of lated.6 Among them: the resignation of a rabbi accused of having an affair before he and -aDo not utter (or accept) a false re- his wife had separated. At a party, port (Ex. 23:1). a few members of the congregation -aYou shall not go about as a talebearer are discussing their rabbi’s resigna- among your people (Lev. 19:16). tion. After all, it’s in the paper, it’s -aYou shall not take vengeance nor bear common knowledge. Another guest a grudge against the children of your 42 • Fall 2002 The Reconstructionist people (Lev. 19:18). about our spouse to our best friend; -aCursed be one who smites his neigh- -ato make any statement, even if not bor secretly (Deut. 27:24). explicitly derogatory, that might cause financial loss, physical pain, mental an- The greater the number of people guish or any damage to reputation; who hear one’s lashon hara, the -ato make any derogatory comment, greater the sin. Those who habitu- even if it causes no harm; ally gossip (baalei lashon hara) are -ato say something derogatory about a guilty of a much graver sin . One person in his presence or to his face if who constantly speaks lashon hara others may hear it; commits sins greater than idolatry, -ato disparage groups, a particular com- adultery, and murder...7 munity, groups of Jews or all Jews; -ato implicate another person in order Broad Understanding to exonerate ourselves; -ato reveal any personal or professional The Chofetz Chayim defines lashon information about people that they hara broadly: We are forbidden themselves admitted to us, even if they -ato show someone’s letter or other writ- did not request confidentiality; ing to others in order to belittle the -ato speak favorably about another per- writer, even if we make no comment; son lest the hearer take advantage of the -ato convey lashon hara through hints and information and with it harm the sub- signs, hand or finger motions, facial ex- ject; pressions, coughs, winks, tone of voice; -ato praise another person excessively -ato recount derogatory information lest a listener be provoked to disagree; that is already common knowledge; -ato make a seemingly neutral comment, -ato speak lashon hara in jest; such as “Have you seen Sam lately?” if it -ato take revenge on someone by tell- may provoke others to speak ill of him; ing others that she refused to or failed -anot only to speak lashon hara but also to help us; to listen to lashon hara; -ato make derogatory remarks about -ato sit in synagogue or in class next to another person even if we do not iden- someone who speaks lashon hara; tify the subject of the remarks; -ato speak ill of a talmid chacham (a -ato discuss someone’s misdeeds even scholar), in his presence or absence. We with a person who witnessed them are forbidden to ridicule the teaching along with us; of a talmid chacham. If a talmid hacham. -ato discuss a person’s negative charac- is the practicing rabbi of a community ter traits; or a rosh yeshiva, belittling him is an -ato ask for information about some- egregious sin.8 one from a enemy or competitor of The above list is daunting. Who that person; among us has not violated one or more -ato say negative things about our boss of those prohibitions? Is the list too to our spouse or to say negative things broad? Are some of the prohibitions im- The Reconstructionist Fall 2002 • 43 possible to observe? Do some of the “blackballing” that was characteristic of above forms of derogatory speech ac- the McCarthy era left many out of tually serve a positive social function? work. On a larger scale, lashon hara Even the Chofetz Chayim permits about an entire group of people, broad- speaking and listening to lashon hara cast from pulpits, over the radio or on under certain circumstances. Before we the Web can lead to racial/ethnic/reli- take exception to the wide-ranging pro- gious hatred and to violence. Jews have hibitions, however, we would do well often been the victims of such forms of to remember the damage lashon hara lashon hara. can cause and thus the reasons to take Even when it does not lead to dis- seriously prohibitions against it. crimination or violence against the subject of the gossip, lashon hara can Dangers of Lashon Hara do violence to values we hold dear, pri- vacy and truth among them. Rabbi Mar- At the very least, lashon hara can garet Holub writes, “When other people waste time. Teenagers may spend hours intervene by telling someone informa- each day gossiping with friends, in per- tion about us, they are violating our con- son, on the phone or by sending “in- trol of our personal information, and stant messages” on the Internet.