Inside This Issue News 3 Opinion 8 Student Life 10 Feature 12 Sports 14 Entertainment 18 Brain Candy 22 Classifieds 23 "The tie that binds since 1926" VOLUME XXXVII • ISSUE FOURTEEN • WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 13,1996 theWEEKLY Cord WLU Student Publications WLUSU named in OUSA lawsuit
MELANIE SEAL the appropriate channels," said that OUSA laid a frivolous, vexatious
Cord News Lynn , explaining that a liability suit lawsuit against me," is the focus "The Students' Union has been falls under Laurier s insurance cov- Lehrer's suit. named in a general liability suit as erage. "I will act based on what the WLUSU is named in the suit the result of an affiliation with insurance company solicitor asks of because of its association with OUSA," Joel Lynn, president of me." OUSA. "Laurier is involved because Wilfrid Laurier University Students' When asked if he was concerned they are on the steering committee Union, said at a Students' Union about the lawsuit, Burns replied, for OUSA," Lehrer said. Board meeting on November 7. "No, not at all. Not only is it improp- In the Statement of Claim, Andy Bratu Lehrer is suing for erly done, we know we're in the Laurier's role in the lawsuit is $500,000 and his legal costs. Ofthat, right, and he's in the wrong... The explained. "The plaintiff claims that $40,000 is listed as general dam- accusations he made were so outra- the student associations, alliances, ages, another $40,000 is classified geous. Obviously, we're going about unions, and federations which make
as special damages, and $60,000 is this in a methodical way - we take up OUSA, namely the Association of claimed as punitive, aggravated, this matter seriously. At the end of Part-time Undergraduate Students and exemplary damages. Half the the day, I think we'll be on top." at the University of Toronto, the amount of the General Damages is WLUSU is one of eight student Federation of Students at the to be paid to the members of the government organizations named University of Waterloo, the Wilfrid Queen's Alma Mater Society. as defendants by the plaintiff, Andy Laurier University Students' Union, Michael Burns, President of the Bratu Lehrer. "It's a response suit... the Brock University Students' Ontario Undergraduate Student I'm not sure it's technically a coun- Union, the University of Western Alliance, said the claim is a result of tersuit, but it is in response to the Ontario Students' Council, and the an OUSA lawsuit against Lehrer a suit that was laid against me," University of Windsor Students' year and a half ago. Burns feels the Lehrer said. Alliance, as well as Michael Burns, decision to leave was affected by Lehrer originally claimed that are jointly and severally responsible Lehrer's actions throughout the OUSA had issued a fraudulent bud- for the actions of OUSA." Queen's University referendum, get to the Queen's Alma Mater In the Statement, Lehrer claimed which asked students whether or Society during the previously men- that after legal action was threat- not they would like to remain mem- tioned referendum. In his Statement ened by OUSA, he offered to issue bers of OUSA. "Certainly, the actions of Claim served to WLUSU, Lehrer an "unequivocal retraction" of his [Lehrer] took are contributors to stated: "The purpose of issuing a earlier comments providing that Queen's puUing out. Absolutely... fraudulent budget was to hide the OUSA present evidence with respect Financially, it has affected us. It's fact that OUSA occupied it's then to their landlord. "The Plaintiff also a shot at our credibility. His tac- offices at 481 University Avenue claims that this offer was ignored by tics were sleazy," Burns said. without paying rent." the Defendants, proving their bad Lehrer was head of the "No" "The President (of OUSA) wasn't in matter." faith this WLUSU President Joel Lynn tells the Board of Directors about campaign that ran during able to come up with Lehrer claims Queen's a finalized that OUSA threat- the lawsuit against OUSA and the Students' Union. 1994-1995 academic year referen- budget. There were two or three ened him with a lawsuit during the dum. "He was critical of OUSA's drafts written... OUSA wasn't run as spring of 1995, while he was trying ments to the media about the prised if some people from OUSA leanings... he didn't agree with them tightly as it could have been. I think to conclude his studies. This caused Plaintiff and the campaign he led." had said some nasty things about politically. He believed that OUSA it was general sloppiness," Kemp him "undue stress" while his father Still a member of the Alma him," Kemp said. was being shady," said Scott Kemp, said. was dying of cancer. Lehrer also Mater Society legislature at Queen's In the fall of 1993, WLUSU ran a News Editor for the Queen's Lehrer said who was paying claims that Michael Burns, University and a student, Scott referendum question to ask if stu- Journal. OUSA's rent wasn't the underlying President of OUSA, has "made scur- Kemp said that Lehrer's actions are dents wanted to join OUSA The ref- "We have forwarded it through issue of the suit. Rather, "the fact rilous, false, and damaging com- not supported. "I wouldn't be sur- erendum passed. PHOTO FILE
Women's Soccer wenteast and came back bronzed
Chi k h th t"
: : £S®igB»sS«!Bg& -1' ; AV>./afiH I • • [SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR! "■ : : ( : \ THE LAB ASSISTANT IGOR'S SYSTEM THE MAD PROFESSOR THE MONSTER \ ! BONE trendmfcsizo trend mpc 5133 trend mpc 51 so trendmpc5j! CHILLING /J?\ x special! (JUtf*) mmmmm Biiimi mwi-'vim'-i-'-u j
" * •- + / *\tel-PehlhjfT>-Processor We) flerifrjrrj }>ooessor 33MHz Pentium fr.fei iWi'/r: Pk>:«kq ! I >0* k 120MH2 infef Processor 150MHz F66MH* ■ ! ;; • : ;: •: :: ' 5 0 " * f * * . P©ntlUfTI Mew Intel 430VX Chipsel ■ : WB *N«*ir#el43C*/>( Chipset M® New Intel 430VX Chtpsef iWB New Intel 43QVX Ch(p6€» Mfe .
* * > M&q RAM * * Pipeline Rpellne ■ I6 72 Pin 256Kb Pipeline Coche 256Kb Cache 256Kb Cache ■
I • 3.5' Floppy * 16 Mog RAM 7? Pn * 1 6 N/leg EDO RAM '16 Meg EDO RAM J
* \ • 06 Gb Hard Drr\/e • 3 5* floppy * 3.5" Floppy *3 5*Floppy
; Ultra casf 8X CD SOM • l.C8GbHadl>ve * 70 Gb Hara Drve 2.1 GbHadDrrve <'** 4 '■
■ * * * :: £lHi '.6 Bit Stereo Sound Cord • Ufra Fcb* 8XCDROM Ultra F ast 8X CD ROM Ultra Fest 8X CD ROM A/ w A> : m * * * * Stereo Speaker 16 &i Stereo Sound Cad 16 &t Stereo Sound Cad 16B:t Stereo Sound Cad j * 14*SVGA KM- 28dp Monitor * Stereo Specked 5" * Stereo Speckers 0" * Stereo Speakers 17"
• :. * • " \j* j; MTEO Sttndaia VSJffiO IMC : S- SV'W Vr J8:*:Wa-C» iV J-VW \ 20»- \fc.T*lyr ?■ SVGA 1280 *1024 Merita
i * & » 4 t(W (Ames '. (tevboooB aop.lo2M •S3WC-441 !Meg«f>to2M J |: 'wKf S3 J!3iO «4 V • • ■ ■ Tt% Sr / s Widows '5 • ;G4KeytxiJd«iWoijse * 1 :>s%. li&iisb x # : : > • * ONLY * -.w • v ■ Vr Cf**rO ••• :.: >;•» •)?• -.:-'::::: :--:'.:-' &:,?••:>.: eprtiDtort W ;.;.-:^.Wffic«*3l"».W§-:::: -.:;;:; : • • • • ..v:: -:5:^' ,j:: :'; V WJirCKWS'li®': ■ . : : : | J :::: "V ■ PJRCHASC 3 Wfh THf """W;.,.. 01 OO <0***** ' 1 ' * O^OQ 1 ; : : T :: I : : . ■ & :' ' PRINTERS FAXMODEM HARD DRIVE PROCESSOR MB ■ Anflvo a Meg RAM 7? Pin " ■ . & ; 3,5"fiodpv HP Canon Authorized Intel Pentium Processor / ... S -$ USR 288 FM int ext ...$199/219 Fujitsu 1.08 Gb IDE 225 870 ■ *72? wdHardDnve oen 200MHz ...$ $ ...$ HP Deskjet 600 269 ySR int / ... 210/259 Fujitsu 269 ...$ : -cdromd„9 288 FM Voice ext 1.28 Gb IDE 166MHz 599 -$419 -$ ! HP Deskjet 680C USR 288 DSVD int -$ 239 Fujitsu 1.70 Gb IDE 309 15QMHz ...$ 449 ■ $ - -$ $ - * HP Deskjet 820CXI 509 / ...$ ! svga mi coict Monitor Zoltrix 288 FM int ext 139/169 Fujitsu 2.11 Gb IDE 399 133MHz 359 \ 15' ...$ -$149 -$ ...$ a * HP Laserjet 5L 659 Zoltrix 288 FM Voice int Fujitsu 2.57 Gb 489 259 : Wmm vkleo 1^^^^ IDE 120MHz 5 HP Laserjet 5P -$1189 -$ 259 IDE-$ 225 oSjiiCr Zoltrix 288 PCMCIA FM Seagate 1.08 Gb ,ntel 430VX Ch.pset M/B... $ 199 I M ■■•$139 • Lexmark 1020 Zoltrix 336 FM Voice int -$159 Seagate 1.20 Gb IDE-$ 269 ForP75 -200 CPU ■ " v * : Lexmark WinwrightSF-$ 328 int -$149 IDE-$ 379 Built-in 256Kb Pipeline Cache j _ AQQ GVC 288 FM Seagate 2.10 Gb O * * ' * ' • ■ Support 168pin DIMM Flash BIOS I ■ ! t'XjQtJBit^fl-31 Daily 10 to 7 PM Sat 10 to 5 PM Build The Best, Fix The Rest! : I * The Intel Inside Logo and Pentium are trademarks of Intel Corporation. All Listed Prices are cash discounted ! " ■ i 0Ur 9enerat ' on ' s lowing more responsibility than any generation that's gone before you and that's a fact. So now it's time for you to stand up and play an active role in our efforts to get the message across about responsible use of alcohol. . -jVv-Vjj£" Because some people Still don't "get it". ''-• What would you say to them L | LJJL .I, i,:,'.-7 i Hi AMI 'IIIIM^IIfiH ' '*'"' *-. ■ I * !?!*■.£. Submit your message to us and it could be part of a national campaign ' ■- Ikh| . HI If U jjlj H to get the word out on responsible use of alcohol. j§! ., §f . | • Hp . X• y"./' ■ And you could be part of that campaign, too. Because if our panel selects your message, ; * v ,...... jgM you'll be heard. And you'll be participating in the production of the campaign. ' J * r " I You'll also find it very rewarding because there is a total of $100,000 ' 1 i~1 W'si IPfcy ■ ■■'/ H in cash rewards for chosen submissions. And the top submission ' ' earn to $15,000. a JIjBp|St; . W'V $ could up And every submission will receive free 1 ' 'fl -v/ I Polygram "Sound Out" CD, featuring a compilation of Canada's hottest bands. ~ yfi?9fil It's time for you to stand up, speak out and be heard. But you need to hurry. IPfear " * " ' •• *f* |jjp lljjfe. * The deadline for entries is December 31, 1996. V\" v J Submission information and brochures can be picked up ! - . . I at any Sam the Record Man, Music World or Cineplex Odeon Theatres 111 11 or at - www.brewers.ca cineplex Odcon you wont to hear PLEASE >1'WB ■■■!■■ NEWS Let the end begin Culture and the millennium ennium psychics and hand- these extremes allow people to responded that, in fact, no decade Mark Kingwell is a Toronto polit- books that offer advice on how avoid responsibility by behaving as had its own identity while running ical theorist, author, and critic. After vo profit from the millennium. though the future were preor- its course, but an identity was completing his Ph.D. at Yale "People are using the idea of dained. Instead, Kingwell argues the assigned upon its completion. University in 1991, he taught at Yale expectations to sell product." most rational way of looking at the However, he does admit there is and York University before moving To communicate his per- new millennium is "modest skepti- "cultural confusion" among the to the University of Toronto at ceptions of our culture, he cism," a view that accepts the possi- youth, which has resulted in a, Scarborough, where he has been drew on such popular bility of both extremes, without "sucking out [of] imagination... Assistant Professor of Philosophy entertainment phenomena being constrained by them. intensified by the end of [the] millen- since 1993. Kingwell speaks fre- as Stanley Kubrick's Much of the question and nium." quently on both radio and television 2001: A Space Odyssey, answer period was dedicated to the Kingwell gave his views on what programs about cultural and politi- The Forbidden Planet, idea of fatalism, which Kingwell we will experience once the millen- cal issues. alien abductions and even recent explained: "We are drawn to our nium passes without incident. "We STEPHEN WILLIAMS Cord News "The dreams of millennium I describe in this book are, in their 'Hie weight ofthe culture isn't subjective way, monstersfrom the id. They are the dark things we wish did not to refusal... Make the turn ofthe millenni- belong to us. They are the real world expressions of anxiety, of the com- mingled hopes and dreads that um an opportunityfor insight, rather than mark our dreaming hours. They are also, paradoxically, what we must insanity or ignorance." - Mark Kingwell confront in order to be at home in the world. We can do nothing else than begin here, with the dreams television programs such as The fears, that's why people watch hor- will experience a cultural hang- that hold us in their grip." Simpsons. ror films." Kingwell used this thread over," Kingwell noted. "Psychiatrists -Excerpt from "Dreams of "We're being reassured that it's of discussion to explain the populari- worry about a possible jump in sui- Millennium" by Mark Kingwell okay not to find meaning. I think ty of biological scare films such as cides... When there is a strong sense there's been a reaction against what Outbreak. "Kids cope with internal of expectation, it may build past the A cold, snowy night conjured up critics call 'bleak sheek'... Pulp fears by generating a monster breaking point. Depression will be PICTURE: the perfect atmosphere for a discus- Fiction had this surface coolness, under the bed... We externalize severe for those who are expecting sion of the possible implications of and beneath it, nothing." Kingwell fears [and create] an adult boogey transformative events..." He also the end of the millennium. Mark labeled this phenomenon the man... We solve the internal through added a warning for those attempt- STEPHEN Kingwell, author of Dreams of "Tarantino 'Fuck You' culture." the external projection of fears." ing to ignore the event:"The weight Millennium, visited the Laurier He ridicules the extreme views The idea was raised that the of the culture isn't subjective to WILLIAMS Teachers' Lounge to give a crash held by some; the new millennium 90s are a decade without its own refusal... Make the turn of the mil- course on this impending cultural either has no bearing on society or identity; they have been fashioned lennium an opportunity for insight... Kingwell shared his insight on event. Kingwell scoffed at new mil- signals the end of the world. He feels around a "retro" culture. Kingwell rather than insanity or ignorance." our millennial angst. Culture Shock ERIC HENRY not as young as I used to be." "How about Daisy and Dori, I suddenly became disgusted people know you are unique." Cord News Commentary I put my arm around the little those two dental hygienists... I with the injustices of the world. If we He choked back a final tear and During essay season, many arts stu- guy in an effort to comfort him. thought they meant a lot to you." can send a man to the moon, if we looked up at me. "You really mean dents begin to neglect their personal "You're only two, Clark. You still can design wallet-sized computers, that?" hygiene. It's not our fault. There is have a long life ahead. Think of if we can put brighter marshmal- "You bet I do. If you feel like too much work to be done to worry everything that is to come." lows in Lucky Charms cereal, why you're shedding, then damn it, man, about little things like brushing your Clark turned around and sat can't we give a tiny rabbit some shed." teeth or shaving. However, this year down on the counter. "Lately," he happiness? Clark hopped down from the I was determined not to become a murmured, "I've been thinking that I looked down at my little buddy counter and opened a drawer. "Will slob. So one morning, disposable I've seen and done everything the and saw a rodent who had survived you do it for me?" he asked, holding razor in hand, I went into the bath- world has to offer. The liquor store it all. And isn't that all we can ask of up the pet shears I bought him for room to shave. Standing in front of confirms that I have tasted every anyone? To stand firm before the Christmas last year. "Make me look the mirror was my pet rabbit, dark. product they carry. My memoirs are great onslaught of life. To weather like Captain Picard. I want to be He was doing a comb-over. under contract to be printed in six the storm of our tumultuous social proud of my male pattern bald- "Clark! No." languages in over twenty countries. existence. ness." He looked up at me with sad, I'm proficient in twelve different "Be strong, dark. Don't worry if I plugged in the shears and a frightened eyes. I could see the pain forms of martial arts. I even saw the you don't conform to the standards vibrant hum filled the bathroom. this was causing him. "Yes master, Hindenberg go down. What else is of beauty set by our culture. You Despite the watershed of emotions it's true. I'm shedding." The comb there in life?" By this time, small "Oh, that's the tragedy of it all," should be proud of who you are. Let that had just flooded through me, fell from his small paw into the great tears were streaking the fur of his he cried. "They ditched me for an your differences be a source of there was only one thought on my well of the sink. "Perhaps I'm just cheeks. oral surgeon." esteem for you. Don't be afraid to let mind: this was going to be fun. — i~""""*~" i . Another reward *75o —* «*• of higher Mj~i * education... Get 5^ $750 towards the purchase or lease of any GM mv new vehicle. [LJJ theCord November 13,1996 3 (Newsy Lynn concerned about renaming SUB MELANIE SEAL on the naming of the Student Union the building," Lynn said "I argue Students. "The ownership issue is a building can be renamed. Melissa Cord News Building, and insisted that students that this is the million dollars." separate one... it was dealt with in Moore, at the WLUSU Board of "The price tag on this building is in have already paid the one million "If students wish to have the SUB 1985. We must keep it separate Directors meeting said, "What if we my view negligible and somewhat dollars through their contributions renamed, a proposal must come for- from honouring Fred Nichols," Lynn had the ceremony, but didn't put the confusing," Joel Lynn, President of to the Student Life Fund in their ward to the Board of Governors said. Lynn did admit at the BOD sign up." Lynn said, "We have to WilfridLaurier University said at the tuition. He explained that students Committee at the appropriate time. meeting that "although the entity of respect the, rules of Administration, November 7 Board of Directors that question is in the hands of the meeting. BOG and not the Students' Union." When told that many students "_the University has had a naming policy Lynn told the Cord that he plans share the opinion ofbuildings carry- to bring it before the BOG. "We are ing price tags for their names, working on my proposal right now... University President Dr. Lorna with suggested donations linked to naming I think if we work together on this Marsden said, "Since 1992, the project... we have to be careful how University has had a naming policy opportunities.. ."-Dr. Marsden we conduct ourselves, we have to be with suggested donations linked to sensitive to the University communi- naming opportunities so that we ty - this is why we're proceeding have some consistency and a clear voted in favour of a gift of $3.1 mil- This is entirely separate from the WLUSU is property of the students, through the appropriate channels." message to donors. Sometimes lion dollars over a nine year period. gift," Marsden said when asked if the building sits on public property." When asked if she felt that donors want recognition and some- In referendum vote on October 5, students have the right to have their The University's Development University Administration and times they do not... All naming 1993, students voted to give this donation to the Capital Campaign and Community Relations commit- WLUSU could reach some sort of opportunities are prepared and money to the Capital Campaign, 30 recognized by choosing the name tee is responsible for hearing pro- agreement over renaming the build- approved by the Board of Governors per cent of which is designated to for the Student Union Building. posals for buildings, rooms, endow- ing, Marsden said, "This is entirely a and only the Board can approve a the mortgage and expansion/reno- Ownership is not the issue that ment funds, and other projects and matter for the Board of Governors final naming." vation project of the Student Union Lynn feels will allow the students to programs. The committee then goes and all the administration can do is Lynn reported that the University Building. "A million dollars of the rename the building in honour of before the University Board of advise your President, which we has put a one million dollar price tag gift is already designated towards Fred Nichols, Laurier's Dean of Governors to vote on whether a have done." Newsbites dents' needs," Lynn said. "I'd be notes as they moved. Let me assure Analysis of the surveys has already to promote awareness of personal Laurier seriously disheartened if it (the posi- you there was no cause for alarm. begun, and a report of the major safety issues students may International tion) went to a senior These people were, in fact, doing safety concerns and recommenda- encounter both on and off campus, Administrator." Dr. Roland Smith, you" a favour. They were partici- tions of the Analysis participants will as well as the services available to Vice President: Academic, proposed pants in the 1996-97 WLU Campus be submitted to the University by them should they feel their safety focus group at the November 12 Senate meeting Safety and Security Analysis. The February of 1997. has been violated. KAREN STRANG that the new AVP: Student notes they were making were sug- This year, the Analysis was orga- Forty people completed this Laurier International Services/Dean of Students have an gestions regarding ways in which nized and implemented by the year's Safety and Security Analysis. Over the past year, the Cord has ex officio position on the University the safety of our campus could be S.E.L.F. Safety (Students Educating The members of S.E.L.F. Safety published many articles written by Senate. improved. Laurier for Safety) committee, which would like to take this opportunity to and about international students The analysis is an opportunity is in its first year of operation thank those who participated in studying at Wilfrid Laurier for those who spend most of their through the WLUSU Department of completing the surveys, as well as University. Many of these pieces Blood Donor time on this campus to stop and University Affairs. those who aided in the organization expressed concern about the ser- take a careful look at their sur- The purpose of S.E.L.F. Safety is of this year's analysis. vices offered by the University in roundings. meeting the needs of international Clinic Each group of students was sent students. TOM HRUBES to a different area of the campus Columbia In order to provide a venue to Cord Newsbite with a safety checklist (which con- share these and other international The Red Cross will be holding a tained items targeting such informa- student experiences, Laurier blood donor clinic on November 20 tion as lighting, possible assault International is co-ordinating a between 1:30 and 8:00 pm. It will sites, and vision obscuring obstacles) mSSc Medicine Centre focus group session on Wednesday, take place at Rink-in-the-Park, and a map of their area. The December 4th from 1:00 to 3:00 pm. which is located at 99 Seagram groups were responsible for filling 145 Columbia St., W., Unit 9 725-2640 The person facilitating this session is Drive. Organizers are hoping for out the survey forms, marking their for (Opposite Good Life Club) external to the university. If are approximately 250 people to recommendations improvement, * you * therapv covered by OHIP insurance interested in participating, please e- donate. Those interested are and highlighting their areas of con- mail Karin Adlhoch at reminded that they must bring ID, cern on the maps provided. PHYSICIANS / PHYSIO / ATHLETIC THERAPISTS / KINESIOLOGISTS [email protected] or voice as you must be at least 17 years old. mail at 884-0710 ext. 6029. For further information, please con- tact the Red Cross at 744-6110. REPLACEMENT NATIONAL BRAND New Dean of Safety and CONTACT Students security position wSF LENSES announced analysis a MELANIE SEAL smashing •DAILY WEAR FROM $19/* EACH SAVE UPTO 50% Cord Newsbite WITI I CONFIDENCE. WE At the WLUSU Board of Directors success 1 O 25 ORDER meeting on November 7, WLUSU •FLEX WEAR from $»1". EACH GUARANTEE YOU'LL GET THE President, Joel Lynn, announced the KERRY BREZINA EXACT LENSES YOUR DOCTOR new University position of Assisstant Cord Newsbite ELIMINATE LENS INSURANCE SUPPLIES AND THAT THEY ARE Vice President: Student If you were wandering the Laurier WARRANTY FACTORY FRESH TO YOU. Services/Dean of Students. Lynn campus on Wednesday, November 6 AND FEES D 1 RECTI' said that WLUSU would have a between the hours of 10 and 11:30 hand in the hiring process. "We p.m„ you might have noticed suspi- have created for the University a cious-looking groups of people drift- through the shadows, making 1-800-778-7718 very warm understanding of stu- ing CALL FOR FREE INFORMATION PACKAGE 4 November 13,1996 theCord -(News) Laurier students protest TONY WEIS rial, and insisting that a boycott of Cord News its products would inevitably hurt the Nigerians. "We will either win this war to save To mark the anniversary of our land, or we will be exterminat- Saro-Wiwa's death, and keep people ed because we have nowhere to run from forgetting Shell's complicity in to." - Ken Saro-Wiwa the tragedy, protests against Shell were coordinated worldwide for this This past Sunday marked the one- past Sunday, November 10. Three year anniversary of the murders of pickets have already occurred in Ken Saro-Wiwa, a Nobel-Prize nom- Waterloo, including one on Sunday inee, and eight other activists in the which involved a coalition of over 30 Ogoni struggle against Nigeria's mil- people from the Laurier itary dictatorship and its collusive Environmental Club, the Ogoni corporate partner, Shell Oil as docu- Support Institute and other con- mented in Stephen Mills' article PICTURE: cerned citizens. "Club Keeps Pressure on Shell, RAY Although Shell Canada does not Nigeria". The Ogoni are a long directly import from Nigeria, 78% of oppressed indigenous group within its shares are held by its British and Nigeria, and their meagre existence SCHMIDT Dutch parent firms, the Royal/Dutch Shell Group. Sunday's protest was bears little evidence of the wealth in Members of Laurier's Environmental Club protested in front of a Shell station last Thursday to that their produced. aimed at corporately-owned, rather oil land denounce the oil company's complicity in the Nigerian Government's human rights abuses. Environmental damage from than franchised, stations as the goal inadequate infrastructure and oper- land. Despite preaching non-violent which witnesses admitted to having against international trade sanc- of the picket was to generate public ational neglect has poisoned protest and peaceful resistance, been bribed and which, according tions with Nigeria and the United awareness and pressure on Shell to Ogoniland. Open gas flares that Saro-Wiwa and MOSOP began to be to Moffat, Amnesty International States continues to import 44% of divest in Nigeria without hurting burn continuously, high-pressure seen as a grave threat to the mili- and PEN International describe as Nigerian oil. local business. Sunday's picket may pipes that pass above ground and tary dictatorship of General Sani being complete fabrication. In defi- In an attempt to diffuse the neg- have been a small step, but as part across agricultural land, open and Abacha as MOSOP compromised ance of the resulting international ative publicity and the boycott of a much larger movement, hope- unlined pits for storing and drilling Shell's involvement in the region outcry from the verdict, Nigeria's against its products, launched by fully human rights and environmen- waste, and frequent oil spills from through massive demonstrations military rulers went through with numerous human rights and envi- tal justice will someday triumph in faulty pipelines have left the land and by increasing the international the hanging of Saro-Wiwa and eight ronmental organizations, Shell ran Nigeria. and water base of the Ogoni so pol- awareness of the plunder of other MOSOP activists. a segment entitled "dear Thinking Protests are going to continue at luted that their ability to farm and Ogoniland. Shell temporarily pulled The global community has been For Troubled Times," which selected sites, and if you are inter- fish has been severely marginalized. out of Nigeria in 1993 in the face of passive in the face of Nigerian atroc- appeared in newspapers across the ested in participating please contact Having received no compensation mass unrest in Ogoniland, only to be ities. Although its Commonwealth globe. In this advertisement Shell the Laurier Environmental Club. for the oil that has been taken and lured back in by the brutal hand of membership has been suspended, tried to distance itself from the polit- Further information is available on the environmental damage that has the military. A military memo in today nations such as Britain and ical regime, claiming that its involve- the internet, at http:zAvatservl.uwa- resulted, the Ogoni have been left in May 1994 described in Wayde the Netherlands are lobbying ment in Nigeria is purely commer- terloo.ca/~wpirg/ogoni.html. increasing poverty and despair, Compton's article "Blood for Oil. . without clean water, electricity, .Shell: The Corporate Lynch Mob", medical care and education. This published in the Simon Fraser tragedy has been documented in Public Interest Research Group Legal Resources Jeanne Moffat's article "The Oil Publication, states "Shell operations Noose", published in Greenpeace still impossible unless ruthless mili- Greenlink: Canadian Environmental tary operations are undertaken for KELLIE SIEGNER and Legal Aid. While the focus of ant relations. On occasion, we also Newsletter. smooth economic activities to com- Legal Resources Counsellor these discussions dealt primarily deal with disputes between room- Meanwhile, a documentary titled mence." The military subsequently This year's Legal Resources staff with the Landlord Tenant Act, some mates and can advise you with "Delta Force", shown on the CBC brought "peace and stability" to consists of 26 students, ranging of the counsellors are versed in respect to your rights under the program Witness notes that Shell Ogoniland by attacking 10 villages, fromfirst to fourth year, and cover- other areas ofthe law as well. LTA. In addition, we can also has exported over 30 billion dollars killing 750, and leaving 30 000 ing a wide variety of majors, from It is not our intention for stu- answer questions about applying to (US) worth of oil from Ogoniland homeless - bringing Shell back into Englishto Business to Political dents to use our service in lieu of Law School and in registering to since 1958, where it is the primary the process. Science. So what qualifies us to give obtaining professional legal advice. write the LSAT. (Incidentally, this producer. Its presence in Nigeria By this point, having established legal advice?? In fact, we exist to give advice and past Saturday was the first opportu- has provided the lifeblood for the significant international recognition, First of all, we are not lawyers, guidance as to the proper steps to nity of the current school year to ruthless military dictatorship that Saro-Wiwa had increasingly nor do we pretend to be. We are follow in each situation presented to write a mock Li>AT. Watch for the controls Nigeria. Moffat points out in become a target of the military volunteers with an interest in law us. I don't mean to discourage you next session in January.) her article that oil provides 90% of rulers, and, as shown in the Witness and helping other students. Each from approaching any of our coun- Legal Resources is open Monday Nigeria's exports, of which Shell documentary, increasingly worri- volunteer (or counsellor) works one sellors with your legal situation or to Thursday from 10 until 5:30 and drills for nearly 50%. some to Shell. Compton notes in his and a half hours per week in the problem. Rather, this "caution" is Friday from 10 until 2:30. We can Against the backdrop of environ- book that twelve days after the office. At the beginning of the term, intended to put your expectations of bereached at 884-0170 x3440.The mental degradation and oppression, memo calling for the military mas- the counsellors underwent two long our service in the proper perspec- office is located on the third floor of Saro-Wiwa began the Movement for sacres, Saro-Wiwa was arrested on training sessions with personnel tive. the Student Union Building. Please Survival of the Ogoni People trumped up charges. After being from the Police and Fire Legal Resources typically deals drop in with your questions, or just (MOSOP) to bring justice and com- imprisoned for a year, Saro-Wiwa Departments, Property Standards, with lease signing and landlord-ten- to say hi. pensation to his devastated home- was sentenced to death in a trial in I / STAMPEDE CORRAL / Kitchener Inc. 248 Stirling Ave. S. * 0— i Kitchener, Ontario *2G 4u Designed with pufpose. (519)576-5660 Driven by passion. /swwyfijmmw/ *•*'* Best Live ftOCK Your can's home away from home. lountry SERVICE by Factory Trained Technicians _ /\ /\ *Ask about our customer appreciation card / /\ a Genuine ACURA PARTS /A A# I-4 K"| |J| FAIRVIEW ACURA 2685 Drive, l\C*'' J\SSM a s\ s\ Kingsway Kitchener Av W■f 1 112 I 519-893-9000 Vy fj&SOrt&cf lf> ride to UofW/Laurier available Crofours w J Flduft QIZS — J theCord November 13,1996 5 (News)— USA votes in favour of status quo CRAIG GATES call into question the platforms of First Century". Two key components clearly supported by American vot- because they are so easy to cam- Cord News Commentary the Reform party, plus the Federal of this vision were an emphasis on ers. paign against." The first Tuesday of every fourth and Provincial Conservatives. education and health care, which English sympathizes with IfTuesday night was any indica- year is an important day, not only For Dr. David Docherty, a profes- are important issues for the middle American voters who fear that tion for politicians, the pending for Americans, but all the citizens of sor of political science at Wilfrid class. Dole's 15% across the board tax cut Federal election campaign will be a the world. American voters march Laurier University, the key to Bill English insists that the Liberal would blow a hole in the deficit dur- battle over maintaining the status to the polls to elect who will be their Clinton's election victory was his Party will place health care as a pri- ing the next four years. The Liberal quo versus those who wish to reign President and in the process decide ability to move to (he 'centre' and mary element in their campaign by Party is aware that any tax cut must in the role of government. English for all others who will hold the most even a little 'centre-right' on the continuing to defend national stan- not be financed by cuts to social pro- believes the Federal Government powerful office in the world. political spectrum. Docherty believes dards and promising to increase grams. still has "an important role in soci- The significance of Presidential that Bob Dole was pushed too far health funding to the provinces Citing a recent Angus Reid poll, ety" especially in a diverse country elections for Canadian voters in par- 'right' by colleagues and special beginning in 1998. English said that "only eight percent like Canada. ticular has long been important in interest groups, especially with his Clinton's victory should serve as of Canadians want a tax cut if it Certainly Chretien and his advi- shaping this country's political envi- policies on tax cuts and immigra- a lesson to Ontario Premier Mike means a reduction in services." The sors were smiling as the final results ronment. The issues covered by the tion. "[Newt] Gingrich blew most of Harris according to Docherty. It is election results confirmed his belief rolled in on Tuesday night. Canadian American media inevitably spill into it" according to Docherty, "Clinton easier to cut welfare and propose that the Reform Party and the PCs voters appear happy with the status the majority of Canadian households has Gingrich to thank as much as workfare than to make cuts to will "think twice about tax cuts quo much like American voters. through print and television. Greater anyone for his re-election." healthcare and education because emphasis on pomp and glamour in Kitchener Member of Parliament the latter affect the largest group of the American process often serves Dr. John English believes that voters, the middle class. "You can to attract the attention of the Manning has fallen into the same get rid of the fat but once the fat is Canadian public. While other trap as Dole by promising large tax gone cutting gets harder... you start Canadians who understand the sig- cuts and through the Reform Party's cutting flesh." Flesh that the middle Bag nificance of the American economy position on social programs. A class is very protective of. Docherty to our own have justification to Liberal member, English expressed also points out that although jobs closely scrutinize the opposing cam- the necessity in Canadian politics for rank consistently as the number one paigns. the governing party to campaign issue. For Canadian voters protect- Ultimately it is essential for and govern from the middle. ing health care and education are Canadian politicians to study the Through poll results and his first second and third respectively, and O'Crime American process and its outcome hand perception, English believes when combined have higher sup- to determine the campaign's effects that much of the Chretien govern- port than the issue ofjobs. on Canada. Following Tuesday's ment's success can be attributed to Fiscal and economic policy was election results Prime Minister Jean their ability to maintain the 'centre'. also an important division between Chretien and the Liberal Party can Prospects for a Chretien re-elec- Clinton and Dole. The Republican Theft Under $5,000.00 False Fire Alarm be confident of re-election since tion victory are also bolstered by the platform of across the board tax 03 Nov 96 - 04 Nov 96 0154 hrs FH 08 Nov 96 Americans have clearly endorsed a common issues his government has cuts and the promise to still elimi- Person(s) unknown removed the An unknown person activated the continuation of the status quo. While shared with the Clinton administra- nate the budget was met with skep- entrykeypad at the rear entrance of alarm pull station in tho Science the failure of the Republican party to tion. During the past year Clinton ticism by voters. Conversely Clinton's Bricker Residence. Building. No fire was detected. create enthusiasm over its platform hammered home his theme of strategy of targeted tax cuts and a of less government and tax cuts will "Building a Bridge to the Twenty- sustained attack on the deficit was Unauthorized Soliciting Mischief 1715 hrs Mon 04 Nov 96 2355 hrs Thu 07 Nov 96 Residence stair reported that some- .An unidentified male person dam- one' was attempting to sell hair care aged the glass door leading from the products in Bricker Residence. 'Hie Concourse to the Student Union individual was not located. Building. A description was The Big Book obtained. Trespass 1135 hrs Tue 05 Nov 96 Theft Under 55,000.00 A number of Waterloo Collegiate 0310 hrs Fri 08 Nov 96 LORI DYSIEIVICK students were warned to stay out of Two YVLU students were, appre- Cord News the Science Building after a com- hended after stealing letters from a You may have noticed a huge vol- plaint was received that they were mobile sign near Stanley burgers. ume covering a table in the running around inside the building The matter has teen forwarded to Concourse this week with lots of find throwing things lrom one of the the DAC and the letters were people standing around it. stairwells. returned. No, this is not an English stu- dents' worst nightmare - you don't Theft Under 55,000.00 Medical Assistance have to read this book. WLUSU 05 Nov 96 1255 hrs Fri 08 Nov 96 wants you to sign it. A YVLU student reported the theft of A YVLU officer assisted Waterloo The book is actually a petition his wallet from his locker in the Regional Police in locating some stu- that is going to be sent to Ernie Eves, mens' change room at the Athletic dents they believed to be. responsi- the Minister of Finance for Ontario, Complex. ble for placing inappropriate "911" when it has completed its journey. WILLIAMS calls. During the last provincial election, Unauthorized Soliciting the Harris government made three 1415 hrs Wed 06 Nov 96 Stolen Property Recovered promises concerning post-secondary STEPHEN A local pizza establishment employ- 1915 hrs Sun 10 Nov 96 students. ee was evicted from Bricker A stop sign which had been These promises were to cut gov- PICTURE: Residence when he was found dis- removed from an off-campus loca- ernment spending on post-sec- tributing promotional material. tion was recovered on Bricker Ave. ondary education, to increase tuition Students line up to sign the big book in the Science Building. by no more than 25%, and to reform Theft - Bicycle student financial aid. 06 Nov 96 During this time period, one warn- So far, the government has fol- large book. The book is part of them]. We are looking for approxi- A WLU student reported that her ing was Issued for a Liquor licence lowed up on two of these three OUSA's promotional campaign. The mately 9,000 signatures." said bike was stolen while chained to a Act violation. promises. Funding has been cut by members of OUSA include Brock, Raptis. "We are trying to say, 'Okay, bike rack near the Peters Building. $400 million, but their has been no Waterloo, Western, Laurier, we took the cuts. Now keep the The Security Department would like reform to student aid. Vice Windsor, and Toronto. The book is promise for reform.'" Theft Under 55,000.00 to remind everyone not to leave President: University Affairs, George being shared between Laurier and Raptis seemed optimistic, "I 0135 hrs Thu 07 Nov 96 valuables in vehicles. There have RaptLs, said that student aid reforms Waterloo before being shipped off to think that the book will send a clear A WLU student reported that her been a number of incidents at other will make the load easier to carry for Western on Thursday. message to the government that coat had been stolen from WilTs. institutions where thieves have bro- students. "There are actually two peti- WLU students simply cannot handle ken into parked cars and stolen To get the message across, tions," Raptis said. "Because any more cuts to post secondary Suspicious Person valuables in the middle ofthe after- OUSA (the Ontario Undergraduate Queen's Park recognizes a petition education, and WLU students are 1515 hrs Thu 07 Nov 96 noon. Student Alliance) devised the idea of as being on 8 x 11 sheets of paper, [it standing up for their rights by sign- AWLI) student reported that a male the petition in the form of a very was necessary to make a version for ing this book." was staring at her. The individual was located and warned. 6 November 13,1996 theCord The Corel's wacky readership survey r 1 \ This is The CordReadership Survey. Section: Part 2'. special events, etc) 13. Name three things you like j ! It's here for you; to tell us what you Representation of views most about the Cord. 1 want in your student newspaper. What should be done: j ! The end result ofthis survey process j | should be a more readable, more 6. In general, do you feel the Cord J ! enjoyable Cord. Just rip this page accurately represents your views j ! out and return it to the CentreSpot. and interests? | : i Yes No 10. What would you like to see in i ! Part 1: Section: future issues that you haven't ! Section improvement seen before? (e.g. a distinct 14. General open area for any! What should be done: 7. Do you feel it accurately repre- Laurier/Kitchener-Waterloo comments which didn't fit into the i ! 1. The following is a listing of the sents the student body's views? events listing, television listing, or above questions: ! current Cord sections. Please cir- anything else you can dream of.) i ! de the three you feel could use Yes No j 'the most improvement, with j i respect to quality, variety, rele- J ! vance, quantity of articles, or 8. If you responded 'No' to ques- j ! whatever else you feel is impor- tion 6 or 7, how do you think this j ! tant 3. Do you read the Classifieds? can change? What steps toward j better communication and repre- ■ ! News Opinion Student Yes No sentation can the Cord take to i represent both your views and 11. How do you think the layout i ! Life Feature Sports those of the student body in gen- and design of the Cord could i 4. What do you think of Brain eral. (e.g. place easily accessible improve? ! Entertainment Brain Candy Candy? letter boxes around the campus) 15. Do you see this survey process i as beneficial to you and the stu-1 ! 2. For each section you circled, dent body? i please provide at least one specif- ! ic action the Cord should take Yes No i toward improvement: What ' should be included, taken away or 12. What do like least about the Thank you for taking the time to fill i ! changed. 5. What do you think of the new Cord? this survey out. \ International Page? Part 3: ! section: General feedback (Please drop off the completed i i What should be done: 9. What kind of advertising would forms at either the Centre Spot or i i you like to see in future issues? the Cord Office) i (e.g., music stores, clothing, clubs, TEAR YOUPm MATTRESSES 1 A fI custom mattresses I m 1 II If11 MM QA DT^RESPA * MBMM I All Standard Sizes Available I JBrh Im M ' * * Jf&BM Sf Antique Beds Water Bed Inserts I Hi M■ ■ M * Foam Or Inner-Spring "Since 1 932" ; Attention To Allergies .,, RMPH FACTORY DIRECT I ______mm m I I THIIM10mi || aaa iif |A SUNDAYHI III* 111 teSiPleasing Students is Our Pleasure I Specializing in Fine Hair Care J 7 I Modern Styling and Ear Piercing I Hy Affordable Prices I DHII'Ci) I THE no cash value ■ M MMMMMmr S = WITH THIS COUPON ! ENDOR MOVIE . . RENT ANY i m A A I ° i NO COVER BEFORE 9s 00 i (519) 746-2578 EXPIRES NOV. 30/96 I $4.00 ON SUNDAY 220 KING N. L -I theCord November 13,1996 7 OPINION Editorial "What, me worry?" Do you know what really worries me, what makes me mad? What really burns me up? What really grinds my gears? What keeps me up nights and gives me ulcers and nightmares and cold sweats? Nothing, actually. Yes, you heard me right; nothing. Not Bill Clinton getting re-elected; not my God-forsaken walk to school along University Wind Tunnel; not the fact that I didn't do so well on my last exam; no, not even the Toronto Maple Leafs' theCord defense. With apologies to some, I'm a devout subscriber to the "don't worry too much about anything because life is tie too "The that binds since 1926" short" philosophy. Admittedly, it's not an extremely popular theory on life, especially at a school dominated by busi- ness-type attitudes. Indeed, a good many people have genuine trouble even comprehending it. That, however, is a small price to pay. It truly amuses me to listen to some people, milling around, worried and upset about everything. Worried about the environment, worried about their marks, worried about getting a job, worried about this, worried about that. It almost seems to me that they worry about what they're going to be stressing about in the future. The unavoidable question that keeps popping into my head is, "Why?" They, if They had a chance to answer in this one-sided debate, would probably say that the payoff of all their and to play golf A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication anxiety is to eventually get a high-paying job with two cars in the garage time on weekends. However, once their objectives are met, will They really be happy? It's possible, but not likely. How can anyone that 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 constantly stresses about the future possibly be happy in it? (519) 884-1970 ext. 3564 Don't get me wrong, however; certainly there is a difference between being a non-stressed-out-worrier and Fax: (519) 884-7723 being blatantly irresponsible. Sure, I work hard (most of die time) to do well in life, but if I fail to accomplish some- Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3566 thing I don't dwell on it; after all, every situation, be it failure or success, creates new opportunities and choices that wouldn't otherwise have presented themselves. Failure in one aspect oflife may lead to success in another. "Oh, the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. Maybe I'm the one missing the point. It could be that eventually I'm going to be left out in the cold, while most of the high-strung go-getters will ultimately move on to fame, fortune, and happiness in life. Maybe the only way to We haven't heard that much today." get anything worthwhile out of this life is to get caught up in society's mad rush. -Tom Hrubes Maybe, but I don't think so. The old adage of stopping and smelling the roses isn't just a cute little saying. To Editorial Board me, no man or woman who is happy can ever be considered a failure, no matter what strata of society they reach. Editor-in-Chief Melanie Seal A lifetime ofstress in exchange for a few moments in the sun just doesn't make sense to me. bank account News Editor Tom Hrubes So now, as countless essays pile up on my desk assigned by ruthless professors and my continues Associate News Editor Lori Dysievick it's slow but inevitable progress towards zero, I sit and wonder how many people will think this editorial is a load of Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter crap. I wonder whether people will simply dismiss it, or actually take it to heart; unfortunately for me, the former Assistant Entertainment Editor Robin Whittaker seems far more likely. Sports Editor Greg Chownyk That's okay, though. I'm not going to worry about it. Assistant Sports Editor Jim Donnelly Features Editor Ann-Marie Smith Jim Life Editor Ann Huskinson Editorial by Donnelly, Assistant Sports Editor The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of the CordStaff, the edito- Production Manager Mike Vencel rial board or WilfridLaurier University Student Publications. Cord Staff Production Assistants Sarah Hollands Colleen Nicholson Mike Caesar Tina Tarn Classified Coordinator Patricia Lancia Copy Editors Christina Mogk LETTERS Editor theto Megan Atkinson International Coordinator Katherine Harding following day for a total of about 400 Student Publications Staff Lest We Forget dead. True Colours shine Photo Manager Marion Plensel Dear Editor From 1975, Canada first Dear Editor, Photo Technicans Steve Williams WW2 claimed the lives of some forty abstained on, then opposed, ten UN So much for becoming a social Joanne Spadafora thousand Canadians 'who had the resolutions calling on Indonesia to worker. My dreams were crushed Art Director Jeremy Kerr courage and will to uphold freedom withdraw from East Timor, steadily on the evening ofSunday November Systems Administrator John Maljkovich and fight evil' (Rev. Peter Mikelic, increased its trade with Indonesia so 10 when I, along with my residence On - Line Editor Andrew White The Record, Nov 11, A9). In keeping Macdonald House, attended a TRUE Advertising Manager Robert Norris with the theme of Remembrance COLOURS seminar. Green personali- Ad Sales Representives Nolin LeChasseur Day (the Cord, Nov 6) may we not "...may we ty types are not advised to become Rebecca Shropshire forget the sixty thousand Timorese social workers because we can not Ad Production Manager Dannielle Chartrand (of a population ofperhaps 500,000) not forget handle having to listen to emotional Ad Production Assistant Megan Barnard killed by Japanese soldiers in the situations day after day after day. Sandra Cunha same war. They were slaughtered the sixty We think with our heads not our Gregory English by the Japanese invaders partly out hearts, so rather than become the Andrew Warrack ofrevenge for having defended sev- social worker that I always dreamed Atheletic Advertising Manager Pete Robinson eral hundred Australian comman- thousand of being, I have been advised to Administration dos who had first invaded Timor. strive to become an attorney, a The Australians were able to get Timorese.." chemist, or an editor. Above all of President Laurie Legault out. these, however, my favourite sug- of VP Finance Kevin MacDonald In 1975 Indonesia invaded the gestion for a green personality occu- of VP Operations David Janzen decolonizing Portuguese territory of that it is now Canada's largest pation is to become an embalmer. Public Relation Michelle Manager Love East Timor, then annexed and occu- export market in Southeast Asia, Where do I sign up? Board of Directors Shayne Lidkea pied it, causing the death of some sold Indonesia arms through the It is unfortunate that only Beth Costelec Jen Clarke 200,000 Timorese, almost a third of eighties, and maintains an 'aid' pro- Macdonald House was able to Christine Gergich Ryan Lock the 1975 population. Australia gram of about $30-40 million annu- attend this event as it was both Domenico Magisano rewarded Timor, then annexed and ally mostly funnelled through devel- informative and amusing. TRUE occupied it, causing the death of opment projects established at COLOURS is an interactive seminar some 200,000 Timorese, almost a Canadian universities. that helps people recognize their The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as deemed by the staff as a voting body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code ofEthics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cord third of the 1975 population. In 1994, on a Team Canada personality traits, leadership styles, subscription rates are $20.00 per term for addresses within Canada. The Cord is printed by CanWeb Printing. All they with friends commentary isstrictly the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect that of the Cord staff, the editorial Australia rewarded Timor for its trade mission, the Prime Minister and how interact board, or WLU Publications. wartime help by being the only co-signed $1 billion in investment and family. It helps you recognize country in the world to officially rec- deals with the mass-murdering and understand your faults and Paul Me Llonella Gilbert, Contributors: "Production" McLean, green men, annexation, strengths. The colours that describe Eric Henry, Karen Strang, Kerry Brezina, Rebecca Waite, Tony Weis, Craig ognize the Indonesian General Suharto in Jakarta. Gates, Orbital CD, D, Arthur Thieman, one posessed plastic surgeon, William by signing a treaty with Indonesia to Later this month twenty acade- the various personalities are orange, Chung 111, Melissa Rust, Lynn Pauli, David Duchovny, Canadian Living, rob the Timorese of their offshore mics from rural Indonesian univer- blue, gold, and green. One colour is Roxanne Coppens, Ron Powlus, Thorn Ryan, large quantities of Advil, oil, and by selling Indonesia sities will be visiting WLU (and U of dominant in each person's personal- Waechter, O'Hara, Tbllet, Sterling Lynch, Randy Scott Craig Becky Mees, Tom advanced assault rifles to maintain Guelph and U ofWaterloo). ity. Orange represents people who Fuke, Mike McKenna, Conor McCreery, Caesar Martini, Romeo and Juliet and competi- soundtrack (over and over and over!), Mark Tantakis, a few cusswords, Dan the military oppression in East The question Remembrance Day are active, impulsive, Kerr, Erin Keating, Dale Cheong, Ryan Bibson, Paul Winkles, Kathy Cawsey, Timor. poses for me is how best to honour tive. Blue people tend to be compas- IVevor Taylor, Hm Kingston and seven vertically challenged men who were Today (Nov 12) marks the fifth the memory of the 40,000 sionate, devoted, and poetic. Those named after the peculiar characteristics they had. The Cord is a great read anniversary of the Dili Massacre Canadians and 60,000 Timorese who are dominant gold are practi- with bedtime snack. Nothing with cheese in it of - that late at night a course when Indonesian soldiers shot dead who died to 'uphold freedom and cal, loyal, and co-operative. Finally, would give you bad dreams. 273 Timorese, mostly students, in a fight evil.' those who are green are curious, awMWeH s&twm 1ft funeral procession-cum-demonstra- Peter Eglin determined, and philosophical. tion at the Santa Cruz cemetery in Department of Sociology and By attending the seminar I dis- Ttie Cord the capital city of East Timor. They Anthropology covered much more about myself. If yO«{' S WWSi SBS-2*' C. SS? murdered surviving witnesses the you are honest when performing the 8 November 13,1996 theCord -(Opinion) more letters... more letters... more letters... exercise, the seminar can be benefi- think I can handle it! by all the Ontario Boards of rent provincial government is to fos- Harris the authority to sell the cial. If, however, when executing the Sincerely, Education, there could be a signifi- ter entrepreneurship in the public provincial television network. The activities you twist things in order to Angela Orticello cant savings in the cost of elemen- sector. TVO has responded by down- governments' mandate is to econo- convince yourself, and others, that tary and secondary education. sizing their permanent workforce, mize and maximize efficiencies, not you are a specific colour that you •One of the stated objectives of the contracting our more activities, sell off valuable assets for short terra think is cool, or that you think your Don't sell TVO! Harris government is to create more increasing earned revenues by 15% fiscal gain. friends are, then TRUE COLOURS is Dear Editor, jobs in Ontario. TVO is a significant per year for the past three years, I am not suggesting that the a complete waste of your time. I was somewhat shocked and dis- player in the employment of our tal- and most importantly decreasing Harris government ignore Honesty is the key to discovering mayed to hear that the provincial ented and creative video production dependency on government fund- TVOntario, but rather that they who you are. Conservative government's privati- workforce. ing. acknowledge the significant strides I would like to thank Mac House zation committee has in essence •Along the same lines, the upgrad- •I note that according to the Globe TVO's management has already Council for organizing the event, offered TV Ontario up for sale. ing and retraining of Ontario's work- and Mail, a "survey conducted in taken towards cost reduction, rev- and I encourage other residences Could it be, perhaps, that the Harris ers are critical if our province's early June by the research firm enue generation and reduced and Laurier clubs to attend a TRUE government has misconstrued employers and manufacturers are Campas Inc., found that 66 per cent reliance on government grants. COLOURS seminar before the school TVOntario as part of the problem, to maintain a dominant position in of Ontario residents polled are with- I would hate to see this govern- year is over. It is certainly an experi- and not part of the solution? the world marketplace. TVO is er strongly opposed or somewhat ment make the mistake of throwing ence. Despite the seminar and its 1 ask that question for several already fulfilling a role in this field opposed to Queen's Park selling out the baby with the bath water. advice for my future occupation, reasons: through its extensive Distance TVOntario." Sincerely, however, I am going to stick with •If the award-winning educational Education Programs. •I don't recall any of the 10 million Bob McFariand striving to become a social worker. I products of TVO were fully utilized •Another stated objective of the cur- owners of TVOntario giving Mr. r6SUltS in • Dec. 4th Cord 1:fe f W Find than in the ? You say it. You even think it. You can have it. You know you want it.You say it. You even think it. You can have it. You know you want •• ; it. You say it you even think it. You can have it. You know you from the Archives... WUC Campus: Conservative or Liberal? EVELYN HOIST gaining prestige as a first rate school here to take what we want. There Students are too conservative for ordinary run-of-the-mill student CORD ARCHIVES is to get rid of the religious mysti- has to be rules, they're necessary. two reasons. There aren't enough of doesn't do anything." November 5, 1965 cism. The school also should allow ANONYMOUS us, and the administration is any- GARY LAMBERT A survey has been taken on this women into men'sresidence. The student body is liberal. The way. Why are there no fraternity 3rd YEAR campus asking whether or not stu- DAVID GORDON WINTRE administration is conservative. houses? Call ours "Sigma Fie HONOURS BUSINESS dents think WUC is too conservative. 3rd YEAR GENERALARTS Result: a clash! Nothing". No opinion "I'm too conserva- Here are some of the answers Yes. "It's complacent." "They MOLLY HARRIS ANONYMOUS tive!" received. equate a BA. with security." "The 2nd YEAR "If it's conservative I like it". Need GEORGE EMRICH curriculum reinforces this idea by GENERAL ARTS some conservatism to keep the 3rd YEAR ANONYMOUS under-presenting unique ideas so Not too conservative, yet borders place running smoothly. But there's GENERAL SCIENCE The Administration is conserva- that students might more easily on conservatism in some respects, nothing conservative really here - "It's perfect the way it is. I like it. tive; the paper is conservative; the assimilate this information without (policies, self-discipline) Girls in resi- we're given a pretty free hand, We have the religious influence students are liberal in dress, in fact regard either to its content or the dence. Here they are too conserva- except in big matters. which really helps." "most dress like bums". The admin- challenges which it presents." tive. Students aren't young men and ANONYMOUS JOHN JUSINA istration makes laws - ifyou want to ANONYMOUS FRESHMAN women yet, and they aren't going to "Big C or small C?" "Forget the 2nd YEAR go to here to school, put up with it!! Not too conservative. Fair be well regulated. Too much "c", I think it's too small!" We should GENERAL COURSE- BILLMANSELL amount of free participation - eg. emphasis on the bad. 5% ruins it for have a few protest marches and big- HISTORY MAJOR 2nd YEAR football games. Students can have 95%. gerrooms. Yes. People have the mistaken BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION opinions. Nothing is forced. There JOHN EVANS ANONYMOUS impression that because the admin- Yes it is too conservative, but not are extra-curricular activities. 2nd YEAR "We're romanticists" "We just istration is supposedly religious, it's socialistic. Students are not academ- Activities are not restricted. GENERAL ARTS have to sit around and brown - nose conservative. The students are con- ically responsible. They are more ANONYMOUS Not really liberal or conservative. to profs!" servative. The students make the interested in the non-finer things of "Students are the most egotisti- Any kind of club and activity in good PETE MANSELL school. Since students are conserva- life. cal group in society." We live in an taste is allowed. There is little or no Ist YEAR tive, then the school is conservative. ANONYMOUS ivory tower. The student is generally opposition. HONOURS ENGLISH This is a simple mathematical Yes, in regard to student atti- liberal. The administration has to be JIM RUDDY Nobody wants to do anything deduction. tudes. The school doesn't allow conservative to run an efficient insti- 2nd YEAR here; the school's too sophisticated. ANONYMOUS them to exercise opinions gained in tution. eg. A strong believer in faith HONOURS HISTORY "We're small enough to make it a "It depends on the way a person the 20 years of life. eg. housing. and religion comes to University. At Not too conservative for our size. swinging little group." We're all lib- thinks or what he does. It's only Some people have not been respon- University the fad is Atheism. You can't compare it to Western eral here. We just need a group to restricted as far as you want to be sible in conduct. Their irresponsibili- During those university years that University for example. They should get things going - there is potential. restricted. It's not conservative at all: ty has caused others to suffer undu- student does not go to church. After save Willison Hall. It's the only build- We haven't a "school of sheep", but eg. drinking at games: the stupid ly. This is the main factor in univer- his graduation, he gets married and ing that has any tradition. Every there's no spirit. There needs to be asses who want to get caught by sity thinking here. In making rules goes back to church again. school should have tradition. Make time for getting a group together to opening beer bottles in front of the to stop them, the rest suffer. The ANONYMOUS room somewhere else for your spearhead this spirit. If the school cops, deserve to be caught. They same applies in the way they treat Yes, in lots of ways. They seem buildings! wants "wild things" we can do it if can go to the hotel before the game, girls in the women's residence. They stuck to old ways. Everyone wants ANONYMOUS we have the leaders. and then there is no need to drink should be given more freedom. to skip classes because not much is Definitely too conservative! It's PAUL PERRY out in public. Students shouldn't be ANONYMOUS going on. Other universities don't not a really lively place. We go along 3rd YEAR treated any differently than anyone "It's not only conservative, it's have such strict rules e.g. dorm. with everyone else. "Apathy". Why HONOURS BUSINESS else as far as getting caught. reactionary!" The executive is very DAWN CRANE are dances such a drag? The good The majority seems to be too pious, or religious; thus, the student Ist YEAR ideas are there but nothing hap- conservative in relation to campus ED. NOTE (23 out of 41 answers are body is suffering. In the Liberal Arts HONOURS ENGLISH pens. We have our own parties then, activities. Everything is done by only anonymous) course it's mandatory to take R.K. No. It's just great. There's noth- and "They're not conservative!" a small minority. I'm not blaming The only hope this school has in ing too conservative about it. We're ANONYMOUS them - someone has to do it."The theCord November 13,1996 9 STUDENTLIFE Long distance relationships: A user's guide dating their guys." here's how: cation are more important than the four, or even five years to complete, "Nine and a halftimes out of ten, 1. Discuss your thoughts togeth- material cost. each of you must be in it for the long long distance relationships don't er about how you feel your relation- 4. It's also important for your sig- haul. The only true love that lasts is work." ship has been aifected, and discuss nificant other to be able to get in based on a deep understanding of Our fellow frosh will likely your concerns on an ongoing basis. touch with you which can be diffi- one another, which includes more remember these quotes from the 2. Be sensitive to the needs of cult if you're in residence, since Call than physical attraction. frosh issue of the Cord. your significant other. Just because Me cards are unavailable. We've For those ofyou who have perse- Undoubtedly, this has been the sad they're far away doesn't mean you come up with an effective solution. vered until now, for anyone else who D. ARTHUR TRUEMAN AND result of many high school relation- can't show them that you care. Try Having a toll-free number set up is is looking toward a long-distance WILLIAM CHUNG III ships after "dumpsgiving" (that's sending a dozen long stem roses to worth the trouble if it means that relationship, or for those who are Cord Student life Thanksgiving for those who are them on a whim and get the deliv- your significant other can get in reminiscing over a loss, we leave "The reality is that on my floor dur- unaware). However, this doesn't ery person to crash in on their class touch with you anytime, worry-free. you with a final quote: ing September of my first year have to be the case, and for a lucky at school to deliver them; it works. 5. Make sure your relationship is "My life used to be full of every- (many, many moons ago), twenty- few, it isn't. So how does one keep 3. Talk to them often - get a long based on inner beauty and deeper thing, now ifyou aren't with me I four out of twenty-eight girls were the relationship going? These two distance telephone package. The love. Although this sounds cliche, it haven't a thing in the world." dating guys back home... at the Cord columnists have been able to relationship and the emotional satis- couldn't be more true. Because a -Ernest Hemmingway, A beginning of October, six were still keep each of theirs happy, and faction one derives from communi- university degree can take three, Farewell to Arms Welcome to third Student Budget menu year business Hell Cheesecake careers), Cherry MELISSA RUST months, ancl possibly life Cord Student Life during this time period (Oct. 15-23), LYNN PAULI This is my theory, although it requiring that students miss classes Cord Student Life may be flawed and a bit biased to go to interviews." The Profs all The professors get together and cheer with glee, and the Dean of think of ways that they can make Business proclaims "This is the Graham Crust: LIVING the students' lives miserable. They most brilliant plan yet!" 11/2 cups graham wafer crumbs come up with this plan: The only one who wont buy into Lets make 20, 5, and 25 hour this devious plan is the Human 1/4cup white sugar CANADIAN assignments all due the week of Resources professor. He says, "No, Oct. 15-18, and an operations exam I don't want to put my exam during 1/3 cup melted butter on the Saturday of Oktoberfest. this week, we still have some games PICTURE: The students wouldn't want to go to to play in class. IH put my exam on that anyway. Hmm... that's not Friday Nov. Ist, from 7-10 p.m." Mix crumbs, sugar and butter thor- enough to make them crazy, so we That was fine with the other Profs. shall have to add some more stuff The Human Resources Prof was oughly. Press into a8" x 10" pan. in the next week. How about a 5 already a bit of an odd-ball; his sub- hour accounting assignment, a 20 ject was not a 'real business hour finance assignment, a finance course', it was too touchy feely, with Cheese exam on the Friday night at 7p.m. too many psychological theories. Filling: and then an accounting exam The other professors who had edu- 1 envelope Dream Whip, prepared according to directions Saturday at Ip.m. "This should cation based on more traditional make them sweat," says a profes- maths and sciences didn't really 1 tsp. vanilla sor, thinking aloud. "Just think, appreciate it. they pay for this abuse!" adds Standard Disclaimer: 1 8 oz. package cream cheese another professor, smiling devilishly As I said, this theory may be a with clasped hands. bit biased and flawed. This of 1 cup icing sugar But then the co-operative edu- course is meant to be a students cation office comes along and says, perspective on the last few weeks, "Hey wait a minute, we are not fair- and Profs, don't get your hackles up Beat cream cheese, vanilla and icing sugar until smooth. Fold ly represented in this little plan of - just sit back and chuckle. cream cheese mixture and dream whip together and spread over yours. We request the right to hold interviews (that may determine the Signed, a very stressed crumb mixture. Refrigerate for 15 minutes. Top with one can cher- students' futures for the next 4-8 third-year student. ry pie filling. Refrigerate and cut into squares when chilled. The University student checklist MELISSA RUST work than you." 8. Grocery shopping is the last "When are you coming home?" You reserve desk staff gossip, you find Cord Student Life 4. When you sit down to watch TV among many more important prior- look at your wall calendar, flip a someone in your regular spot. You If you can't quite remember ifyou're on Thursday night at 8 p.m., you ities. Variety in your diet is the dif- month, then change the venue: "You find yourself feeling angry that in university or just on some alter- don't have to flip any channels; it's ferent shaped pastas: shells, elbows, can come up here for lunch in 4 172 someone had the nerve to take your nate planet, here is a little test to still tuned to channel 3 from last spirals and don't forget tri-colour weeks between 11:30 and 1:00 carrel next to the window. You con- find out. If you find yourself in any week when you turned on the TV to pasta - the orange, yellow and green p.m„ that's my only opening." sole yourself, thinking that they of these situations, chances are that watch "Friends." represent vegetables, right? 12. Your brother calls and asks you should be leaving soon anyway, that you are knee deep in it (university). 5. You see your group members 9. Your social time is when you go to when you are coming home... your seat is molded to fit your butt and more than your roommates. work. answer is the same as above. your butt only. 1. Sleep is a reward to yourself for 6. You are counting down the weeks 10. Your friends and/or significant 13. Getting out is when you and the 15. When your roommate asks you finished readings. until you can go out drinking, only 6 other go to the same school, yet the group member with the car go to if you want to write a short article 2. You know your roommates' more to go! Yahoo! only time you see them is when they the KPL or Waterloo Town Square for the Cord, you respond, "You group members life stories. 7. When asked what your plans for are coming and going from your to do market research. know I don't have time for that!" 3. You have become competitive the weekend are, your response is parking lot or driveway. 14. When you go to the sixth floor in with your roommates: "I have more "sleep." 11. Your parents call you and ask, the library, after catching up on the 10 November 13,1996 theCord -(Student life) Career Corner OutSpoken THOM RYAN earth is a closed ecological system ROXANNE COPPENS Peter has found he has demonstrat- like crazy." Cord Student Life which actively regulates its carrying Cord Student Life ed that creativity is a greatasset for Peter admits that at first his capacity, and that the Earth is increasingly overpopulated, per- Who grows up wanting to a career in sales. In addition to parents were shocked to hear he Mother Nature is a Drag haps gayness is Mother Nature's become an insurance agent? sales, Peter's job focuses a great was going to be selling insurance. Queen According to Peter Izzio, this week's deal on marketing products. They thought an insurance sales- most ingenious method of popula- tion is a reason why subject for Career Corner, probably One major advantage of this job man was a short, bald man who A liberal friond, being a biology control. There posed some of us call heterosexuals not most people. However, Peter is that Peter usually organizes his knocked on doors. Many university and ecology buff, a startling (as Gay couples do not usu- added that if you are highly moti- own work schedule. For example, students face a similar misconcep- question while inebriated star- 'breeders.' birthed), children, so gay peo- vated and willing to work hard you he works fewer hours in the sum- tion. Some people think the only tling questions are often ally have and not actively contribute to the could easily come to realize that, "If mer when people are not as inter- professions available to university late one night Is the population of ple do Does this you like money it's a great career." ested in visiting with their insur- students are the old staples: doc- gay people in the world increasing overpopulation crisis. being is intrinsically Peter graduated from Laurier in ance agent. When first hired, how- tors, lawyers and teachers. as a reaction to global overpopula- mean that gay environmentally sound? It seems 1990 with a BSc in Biology and a ever, the work schedule is more The beauty of university educa- tion? Wishing not to liken being Death, - we're at least as useful minor in Phys-Ed which led him to demanding. Yet Peter claims that, tion is the diversity of skills that can gay to the Black 1 said that I that way Blue Box. That's gotta make find a rewarding career at the "In the first five years you feel be gained from studying any disci- didn't think so. As the world popu- as a Mutual Group in Waterloo. Peter underpaid, and the rest of your life pline and having the freedom to lation increases, the probability that you feel all warm inside... of GLOBAL (Gay, Lesbian, or sells life insurance and also does you are overpaid." The first year choose a career you enjoy. Today an equally increasing percentage financial planning for his clients. salary in this field is approximately may have been the first time you've gay persons rises as well is a safe Bisexual at Laurier) meetings information, e-mail Like many in his field, he only $35,000 and goes up to an unlimit- ever considered a career in insur- bet, but no one can know for cer- Thursdays. For be [email protected] or see became interested in this type of ed amount depending on the num- ance. Be happy to know that you tain. For all we know there may site at career once he graduated and was ber of clientele one accumulates. can suddenly decide to become a basis for the claim that the gay over web wlu.caV-wwwclubs\ww looking for a job. For Peter, finding this job was whatever you want, maybe even a population is increasing dispropor- http:\\www. Ifyou don't think you could be a easy. Insurance companies like the successful insurance agent like tionately. If you believe that the vv*global.html salesperson, consider that Peter Mutual Group are always looking Peter Izzio. believes he was never suited to be for people, since having numerous in sales. Instead, he used his cre- agents is the key to the company's Career tip of the week: Find a CORD. ativity to help him build a clientele. success. Peter suggests that insur- company that has a Laurier gradu- THE He chose a target group and found ance will thrive in the next 30 to 40 ate in upper management. As BY the best ways to contact them with- years. He claims most people are Peter Izzio said, "Laurier alumni YOU out attacking them on the phone or saving their money now, and "a love hiring Laurier alumni." TO at their door. With the success need for our products will increase BROUGHT BONDING MALE OF EXAMPLE AN I ••>>::>::^iaaM^^i^8Bw8MHH^^^^^^^^^^^^//::lY^::. iiilli lH^^B^^^^BWBBi^BBBBBBC!^_-???Sr^""""v'"""""""ZZr211- gHHPRIMROSE HOTEL In the heart of Downtown Toronto - 111 Carlton St. ATTN: CO-OP STUDENTS Looking for housing in Toronto? Want a little luxury in your life? From Jan. '97 - April '97 $525.00 per person MRvlg^ (based on a double occupancy) complete $2 Call now for details. This great offer will end soon Ask for Scott Yellen 1-800-565-8865 e-mail: [email protected] www.travelweb.com/thisco/bw/66052/66052_b.html Saturday All Night U'9eSt PHOTOGRAPHERS Show Wedding * Portrait * Industrial <§> Commercial for Graduates who appreciate the finest in portraits NO SITTING FEE To schedule your sitting call on graduation portraits 745-8637 Today No Cover With Student IP for October and November 78 Francis St. H. (at Weber & Water) Kitchener ladies Free All Night minimum purchase required -- not in conjunction with other offers www.icdirect.com/ads/Forde theCord November 13,1996 11 FEATURE The Bar Scene Is it really that great? Sarcasm and intoxication A view ofa student weekend STERLING LYNCH Championship to whose faux brass for their alternative night. The only So the meaning of life and the Cord Features trophy your name is inscribed to). There is real difference is that I have to actu- truth of all reality is what bar-life Oh my god, do I ever love bars. I By eleven-thirty I have waited in line ally buy real drinks because the reveals. Well, ifwe use an argument love them so much, I'd just like to for at least an hour and a half, nothing chicks are older and have graduat- by antilogy (learned this in that phi- spend the next few hundred words because: it ain't worth it unless you ed to intravenous shooters. Let me losophy course, you know about and the next few minutes of your wait for it (if only I could apply this tell you, there is nothing that makes that guy ) we can see that all our life, which, incidentally, you will technique to those rare times when that you feel more like a man than hav- time should be spent deadening our never be able to reclaim, and could a girl comes home with me and ing a six dollar drink, that would senses in an attempt to achieve the very well have been spent working manages not to pass out. And I makes you have cost you thirty cents at home, cool mellow feel of a frontal loboto- on something more important, like quote, "Thirty seconds isn't exactly thrown into your face. Don't forget my; we should inhabit environments the cure for cancer or masturbation anticipation, baby."). By midnight, I feel more the warm community feel of those that ensure meaningless conversa- techniques for arm-less midgets, have duped some bracelet bearing, clubs, where there is always some- tion; and, most importantly, we describing just how much I love the black X'd frosh into a conversation like a man one more than willing to hold your must, under no circumstances, bar scene. The bar scene is where by buying her what she thinks is an glasses or mind your drink as you think. the meaning and truth of life is alcoholic beverage, but is really just have your faced mulched into a I hope you have enjoyed this found. Amen. Kill a goat... a flat pop which I have spiked with than hav- nutrient rich top soil paste. informed dissertation on why I think As far as I am concerned, the Listerine mouthwash. I spend the Saturday, I generally spend at a bars are "cool". Try not to think week doesn't begin until Thursday. rest of the evening spitting into her ing a six Keg party. This has to be the best about what you could have been That's the night that 1 hit the Turret ear over the ultra cool beats of some value of the drinking circuit. What a doing instead ofreading this article. and try to pick up underage Frosh Dance Music King who probably is dollar deal! You spend the entire evening I mean time isn't really that pre- with witty conversation about the the same computer weenie that I drinking beer that you would nor- cious. I mean, after all, if you really true nature of Spam. Usually, I beat up in high school forcing him drink. mally serve to the business end of a care about life and really put some begin the evening at about nine into the seclusion of his suburban donkey Then you drink more of it effort into it, you can always find o'clock. By a quarter past nine, I bedroom and a million dollar record sounds of Boyz 2 Men while being than you could ever possibly desire time to drink and go to bars. Forget have consumed a forty ofrye and at deal. Then it is time spent on the pressed to a sweaty alcohol saturat- simply because you can, arid should, church, forget God, even forget The least a twelve of, you knew it, Blue: dance floor trying to cop a feel, ed body. to get the most value. Value is Simpsons, but don't ever forget the beer of champions (never mind because there is nothing more inti- Friday, I start all over. This time important - I had an economics or bars, baby. if it is the Hanover Grand Prix mate than a dance floor. Chicks it's back to the Turret for alternative marketing professor who men- Gopher Jamboree and Hog Call really dig being pawed to the cool night. Or, how about the Revolution tioned that once. Testing the appeal of bars minute. There are only so many Which brings me to the third different). For all those who just things one can do at the bar, these reason for going to the bar; chattin' can't resist the bar, here are a few include: it up with all those people you things to keep in mind: 1. Dancing haven't seen since that day in class. 1. Drink before you go. You will save 2. Playing billiards and video games Most students would site this as the a lot of cash by drinking your own 3. Talking to friends and acquain- main reason for going to a bar for alcohol, you can have all your tances the evening, and 1 am no exception. friends over to talk in relative peace 4. Drinking However, I have bad hearing. It's and quiet and since the bars are The first alternative is appealing, hereditary. So, when I am at the open until 2:00 AM nobody goes if you like to dance. However, many Turret with the music blaring, I before 10:30 anyway of us don't like to dance, especially can't hear a damn thing! You can 2. Make sure you drink enough so when we are anything but slobber- try carrying on a conversation but that you don't care what you look ing drunk. If you don't believe me, it's only a matter of time before your like up on the dance floor. This is then the next time you are at the voice rebels against you and begins partially solved by following #1 Turret, take notice of how many to fade. For this reason, I suggest above. people are on the dance floor at the that the bar is not the place to go if 3. Don't expect to catch up on life beginning of the night and compare you are hoping to carry on some events with those you see at the bar. that with how many are up dancing half decent conversations. Screaming over the music is futile, at 1:00 AM after a baker's dozen of The last, but certainly not least, so don't even bother. Budweiser. You understand. reason for going to the bar is to 4. Take a limited amount of money Therefore, one could argue that drink. Fine I can handle it. But ifyou with you when you go, I suggest many of us do not go to the bar just want to drink, the bar is one of $20. This prevents you from spend- because we want to dance. the worst places to go! I have a close ing a fortune - not having your ATM Once again, the second alterna- friend, who every time he goes out card with you is crucial to make this tive is tempting. After all, who spends $70 on alcohol - which inci- work! doesn't enjoy a skillful game of pool dentally doesn't take long when So, if you decide that you are with some buddies? However, you're buying two rye and cokes at going to continue to visit bars unless I am sadly mistaken, there a time. Then when I ask him to despite all the negative aspects 1 Relaxing in our very own Hawk's Nest while making money for are no more than eight or nine pool come down south for reading week have outlined, make sure you follow our corporation. tables at the Turret as well as a he tells me that he can't afford it! the above guidelines and your expe- small assortment of video games. The point being, if you want to just rience will be so much more enjoy- RANDY WAECHTER aren't struggling with the concept of Quite simply, there aren't enough to drink, buy alcohol from the liquor or able and affordable. Those more Cord Features higher education. However, before go around. I have found myself at beer store and you'll save a lot of perceptive individuals may have What do the Turret, Loose you prepare for that evening of the Turret, or at other bars, on a cash. noticed that I didn't cover the topic Change Louie's, Wilfs and Phil's mass alcohol consumption, I particular evening just waiting to We must then ask ourselves, of "picking up" at the bar. This is a have in common? They are all encourage you to consider - what is partake in a relaxing game of pool what is the point of going to a bar whole other issue in itself to be places where Laurier students love the point of going to bars? only to find that all the tables were every weekend? I suppose it's a reserved for another Features sec- to party and hang out when we Let's think about it logically for a busy. matter of opinion (i.e. everybody's tion. 12 November 13, 1996 theCord —(Feature) vocalCord Seeking the STERLING LYNCH AND RANDY WAECHTER Cord Features Question: Ifyou were a bar, what type endless party ofbar wouldyou be and why?" "A bar on the beach because the beach is my favourite place." LORI DYSIEVICK are boundless. There is always sex appeal sells. Bars are the Cord Features more room in a bar, (how many proverbial pick-up place to meet Heather Warren "You should have seen the way this people do you know with a dance members of the opposite sex. In 3rd year History girl was dancing, she was acting floor and six pool tables in their what other public establishments like a... well, a... " This older house?). At a bar, no one has to can you find condom and per- woman whom I worked with in an worry about crashing the party fume/cologne dispensers in all of office over this past summer strug- because there is no host/hostess the bathrooms? Whether you are gled with the noun she wanted to single or spoken for, most people say but offended her proper like to look their best at the bar - upbringing. Oh lady, you justin case someone is looking. "A what?" I said smiling over my Bars are where we display "The only thing that comes to mind is a par- coffee cup. some of our most primitive mating allel bar, though a reason for this does not "Well, a s-l-u-t." she almost whis- thought the behavior. Women dress and dance manifest I'm not certain this is my choice, pered. "Do all the young girls in provocatively as if on display while this is a major decision." the bars dance like that nowa- macarena dancing. Men go through ancient days?" her eyes widened in inno- rituals of territorial threats - they Brenda Beal cent disbelief. was bad? bump each other's shoulders just a Bookstore Employee "Actually," I said, trying not to little too hard and stare each other laugh, "The macarena is very pop- and there is always music, lights down when caught interested in ular and lots of people dance to it in and an endless supply and wide the same woman. Bars have the bars." selection of alcoholic beverages. become the meeting place of mat- v "Why do you go to places where #2 The Norm' Factor - Whether it's ing partners (next time you hear "I don'tknow, whatkind of question is that? they dance like that?" she pressed. because of the music, the crowd or Nine Inch Nails' 'Closer to God' just I'm not good at this stuff. The best bar is a 1 know she wanted to ask me if I the cheap drinks, everyone finds think of how our grandparents met sit-down pub - nice and relaxed." danced like that but she didn't, their own bars that they frequent at church picnics!). thank god. on a permanent basis. Just as In fact, it is strange to think that Matt Everitt People go to bars to have fun, Sammy, Carla and Woody all made we say bars are the place to "meet" 2nd year Hons. Business obviously. This is true, but there their customers feel welcome, people when in reality, a bar is real- are many factors making up why a everyone likes to go where at least ly the hardest place to really meet bar is a good place to look for a some people know their name. someone. Everyone simply good time. I came up with three #3 The Opposite Sex - Despite it's assumes that everyone else is there universal factors. appearance as third on the list, I to pick someone up. Not the most #1 Bars are an Instant Party - The argue that this is in fact the number constructive place to begin a rela- "I'd be a nudie bar, I don't know why... just benefits of going to a bar with some one reason why people go to bars. tionship. In all honesty, bars are a because." friends as opposed to a house party Say it like it is, good old fashioned market which use little else besides sex appeal. The lights are low, the Jason Kane drinks are plenty and the music is 3rd year Economics pulsating. Oh lady, you thoughtthe macarena was bad? If you only knew WfPnm Visit our Web site at v ww.isic-canada.com I S |?OMiS!^^ltUluts Up to $15 4^7Tn ISSmIMMI JCj fulxu-elmvel* ®-A- The ISIC. the One and <>II,V ' " The Real Alternative Night Club .from VIA Rail C ard ■VO neGCL Edition to 409f off any na |Ttj VIA Rail economy seat, your A | $1.75 cover charge ■ | I ' ISIC can save yon liiiimli'imls save 40% on any of dollars on accommodation. admissions to »nisenms ami economy anywhere, . * seat, _ . . cultural attractions, international any time. It's easier airfare an.l a whole host of oilier than ever* valuable products and services across Canada N 1 ] 1 purchase re({uirements, J Drop by the ISIC Alternative no blackout periods. J isssuing agent I Fridays Lots of condort, Now Hiring Promoters And All Staff Student Identity M TRAVEL CUTS "XZt Apply Daily From 12 Noon Card (ISIC) voages campus 11. r tfle itudent travel experti Snuleni... can take advantage ot -~555l stu.i. „t u...... Bt.u.ii..^ VlA's student discount. Av """" s' Out. Rro #04412:542 Take a look at the train today! Wmmmm%MWK i-H(i()-.i6i-i2:i.» *Purchase your ISK. and theCord November 13,1996 13 SPORTS Hawks bring home the bronze GREG CHOWNYK a successful season for the team. score. keeper, Rachel Zuidervliet, kept most of the players returning next Cord Sports "It was good. We are definitely "The score did not indicate what them of the score board. year, Stoumbos and the rest of the Making their second straight happy with [the result]," said third was a very fairly matched game," "Rachel played a great game as Hawks may get their second crack appearance in the National champi- year player, Karen Conboy. commented Kraus. she was called on to make a few at the title a year from now. onships, the Laurier women's soccer The Hawks opened the tourna- Alberta got on the scoreboard good saves," said Kraus. NOTES: Also at the tournament, team had only one thing in mind: to ment against the AUAA champion first with a free kick from about 20 The Hawks came out flying in midfielder Lorraine Hodds was defend the title they won a year ago. team from Acadia, whom they man- yards out, about halfway through the second half, but had to wait for named to the All-Canadian first Unfortunately, the trip to Halifax aged to defeat 1-0. the first half. Five minutes later, the injury time to put the game away. team. In her second year, Hodds has was not as rewarding as was last Laurier came out flying early Pandas went up by two as a scram- The victory caps off another suc- now recognized twice been nation- year's venture to Ottawa. on, but were unable to capitalize on ble in front of the Laurier net result- cessful year. The bronze medal goes ally; she was part of the All- When it was all said and done, any chances. The game remained ed in the game's second goal. along with the one the team won in Canadian second team. Conboy the Hawks' season ended a little scoreless at the half. The Hawks did not close the 1994, and with the two golds won in was also recognized as she was short of their ultimate goal as they "We definitely came out strong in book on this one at the half; they 1992 and 1995, making the Laurier selected to this year's second team. brought home the bronze medal. the first fifteen minutes," said came out flying to start the second. program one of the most successful Last season, both players were also Nevertheless, it did cap offwhat was Laurier assistant coach, Melinda Hull used her tremendous speed to in recent years. OWIAA All-Stars. Recognition was Kraus. gain a breakaway, but was unable The Hawks managed to lose only also given to Celeste Burkitt, who The injury bug continued to take to put it by the Alberta keeper. three games all season including the was part of the tournament All-Star its toll on the squad, as both Helen Laurier continued to apply the playoffs. Unfortunately, each loss team in Halifax. Mclnerney and Emmie Hull left the pressure which resulted in many brought with it negative conse- game at one point. Mclnerny had a scoring chances. However, the quences. facial injury, while Hull suffered Alberta keeper stood on her head as Their first loss came late in the bruised ribs and a head injury. The she quieted the Hawk attack. regular season to the Waterloo injury to Hull's head eventually A late goal by Alberta put the Athenas. The 2-0 defeat cost the forced her to leave the game. game away and sent the Hawks into Hawks first place in the OWIAA Laurier dominated the second the bronze medal game against West division. half when the Acadia squad Dalhousie, a rematch of last year's Loss number two came in the appeared a little frazzled. Late in final. OWIAA final to the eventual the half Angela Ingratta set up "I think Alberta was the National champions. The Ottawa Mclnerny with a beautiful cross that strongest team there," noted Gee-Gees. A victory here would she headed in for the winner. Conboy. have put Laurier in the other pool in Mclnerny s marker not only moved The game started out slow, but Halifax so they would have avoided the Hawks into the next round, but some late game heroics by Kiley playing Alberta until the fined. also earned her Player of the Game Torti sealed up the bronze the The third loss (against Alberta) honours. Hawks. Torti scored her first goal of was the one that cost the team the A strong Alberta team was next the season in injury time from about shot to repeat as National champs. RLE up for the Hawks as the pressure 25 yards out, surprising the However, head coach, Helen mounted. A victory was a necessity Dalhousie keeper. Stoumbos, has to be happy with her PICTURE ifLaurier wanted to play the follow- Dalhousie played a strong defen- team's performance. Although they PICTURE FILE ing day in the gold medal game. All sive game, especially in the first half. were unable to defend their title Conboy: Selected to All- Hodds: First team All- Canadian was not meant to be as the Hawks The Tigers were also able to mount successfully, their accomplishment is Canadian second team. came out on the short end of a 3-0 some offense, although Laurier something to be proud of. With Men's volleyball undefeated SCOTT O'HARA late in the match when the Badger would likely regroup after a week- Cord Sports coach offered one Laurier fan a ges- end ofrest. No one ever said it had to be pretty ture with his finger that's meaning Unfortunately, the squad will not and for the men's volleyball team was loud and clear. have much time to regroup as on Friday night it sure wasn't. Their Even with the evident defensive Windsor visits Laurier tonight. The efforts were however good enough problems, the Hawks won the next Lancers, who are currently sitting for the team to capture their third two games by scores of 15-10 and one game back of Laurier, have a straight victory, leaving the team 15-11, to lock up the victory. strong veteran squad. Ifthe Hawks undefeated for the season. The win might not have come manage to get their passing game Although the Hawks managed to along if it weren't for an outstand- in order, they'll be able to play beat the visiting Brock Badgers in ing performance by Laurier's Ryan strong, side-out volleyball which three straight games, they often Brown. Offensively, Brown was will keep the Hawks competitive. looked frazzled. Brock's worst nightmare. If the passing game is off In the opening game, the Whenever Laurier was in a jam, against Windsor, look for Laurier to Badgers, who are by no means a setter Todd Dougherty seemed to be handed there first loss of the volleyball powerhouse, jumped to a know where to go and would set season. It's not the time of the year 13-9 lead over the Hawks. After a the middle, where Brown would where Laurier wants to get sluggish well needed time out, Laurier simply crush the ball over the because things don't get any easier regrouped and came back with blockers from Brock. as the team heads to Hamilton to some strong hitting from Ryan "I hit the ball pretty well tonight. mix it up with a very big McMaster Brown and Kevin Shonk and pulled Todd did a good job of getting me squad on Friday. out the victory with six unanswered the ball. As a team we need to step Even with the disappointing points. Shonk finished the night it up though," noted Brown of his effort on Friday, combined with a with 19 kills to go along with the own and the team's performance. win in Guelph earlier last week, the amazing 36 he put down against Head coach Brett Thomas was a Hawks sit undefeated on the year Guelph earlier in the week. little more eager to comment on his with a 3-0 record, and for the first The rest of the evening was team's play, "As a team we've time in school history, are in sole played out in much the same. The decided to put that game behind us possession offirst place. Badgers anemic offense combined and move on. It was an unaccept- It is evident that the men's vol- WATSON with the Hawks having an off night, able performance for us, and we leyball program has come a long KEU made for a long, sloppy evening of hope not to repeat it. We simply way in the last year. With Thomas' volleyball. didn't play at the level we know strict discipline, the future does look Both teams passed the ball with we're capable of playing." bright for this squad. Bright enough PICTURE: difficulty and as a result, the offens- Thomas speculated that he that for the first time in several es had trouble getting started up. believed the boys were simply tired seasons, the Hawks may find them- Dennis Hoffman looks to put on awayagainst Brock last LaurieKs Brock's frustration was shown from a tough week of practice, and selves alive come playofftime. Friday. With the victory, the Hawks now stand at 3-0. 14 November 13,1996 theCord -(Sports) Women's hockey on top noted Katori. "We were moving tions this past summer that threat- from me." faster than on previous games. ened to keep her out of the lineup. Despite an impressive showing, They were pretty chippy and once She finished the two game set with the Hawks were plagued by penal- we started doing what we were three goals and four assists and is ties. With four women in the box to taught, we took over." looking once again to be a league start the third, Queens pulled to The first period saw an emotion- leader in scoring. within a goal. However this 2 goal ally charged Laurier squad record Less than a minute later, Jen outing for the Gaels wasn't enough more penalty minutes than shots, Krog potted what proved to be the as the Hawks put the clincher away including a five minute charging winner as the Hawks took a com- moments later to secure the victory. major and a double minor for com- manding 3-1 lead into the dressing The Hawks expanded their plaining back at the referee. room. unbeaten streak to three games and WILLIAMS Queens opened the scoring on a Laurier had somewhat of a scare sit alone in first place. After beating powerplay goal early in the second late in the second period as their Guelph in the season opener, the to jump ahead 1-0. Assistant cap- one and only goaltender Charmaine prognosis is good for Laurier. STEPHEN tain Cheryl Pounder evened things Boteju was roughed up by Shelly Guelph and Toronto are the up thirty seconds later on a lighten- Brown of the Golden Gaels. Boteju teams to beat this season. Toronto PICTURE: ing quick slap shot through traffic. was down for several minutes but has excellent depth and most of Pounder, who returned home was not seriously injured. Brown their players also play elite club Laurier goaltender Charmaine Boteju sprawls to make a stop from the Three Nations Cup in early was subsequently ejected from the hockey. "They're beatable," added against Queen's in action Saturday. The Hawks won the game 4-2. November, is expected to be a force game for hitting from behind. Katori. "I would say right now all season for the Hawks as she fin- Katori was not pleased with the they're the team to beat. Them and CRAIG TULLET Saturday's match up was hockey ished the night with three points. Gaels style of play. "It was blatantly Guelph are both pretty strong." Cord Sports action at its finest as the Hawks took The Hawks punched out to a 2-1 obvious what they were trying to do The Hawks do battle with the The women's hockey team got the it to the Gaels both physically and on lead midway through the second in both games," commented Katori. Gryphons next week in Guelph. better of a two game stint versus the the scoreboard. when captain Amy Turek one timed "They were concentrating on our That is the first of a four game road visiting Queen's Golden Gaels this Head coach Kelly Katori was a pass from assistant captain Steph goaltender. I was not impressed trip with the Hawks next home past weekend recording a 3-3 tie very pleased with his teams play. Kay. Turek appears to have recov- with that and made sure their game not until after Christmas on and a 4-2 win. "We had outstanding forechecking," ered nicely from two knee opera- coaches heard a few comments January 12th. Same ol' story for Hawkey JIM DONNELLY draw. game at two with a less-than-spec- Cord Sports The deadlock was finally broken tacular goal after yet another Different team, similar results; even five minutes into the second period scramble in front of the Laurier net. though the Laurier men's hockey when Laurier's Lance Woods tipped The WLU defense did a terrible job squad is easily 100% better than a James Hoey point shot past the of clearing the net, and after repeat- they were last season, the team's Waterloo goaltender for a rare ed close shots on Schnare, Waterloo fortunes thus far this year have sus- power-play goal. finally scored. piciously mirrored their previous Then, just a few minutes later, Although Laurier fans fervently efforts in 1995/96. the Hawks' Jeff Squires fired a long hoped for a comeback goal after the Despite a number of games that shot from the neutral zone right on Warriors' two unanswered tallies in could have gone either way, the the Waterloo net, forcing a huge the second, the final period only r Hawks' record as it stands right rebound. An alert Steve Hand brought more heartache to the now is an unenviable 1-4-2. Not bad pounced on the puck and buried it, modest crowd at the Rec Centre. in terms of last year's record, but putting WLU up 2-0 at the midpoint After a terrible giveaway in the IV.IOIU-. still nothing to write home about. of the game. defensive end that would have This past week featured more of the However, as coach Wayne made Larry Murphy proud, UL.V.IM same disappointment for the team. Gowing put it, "You can't expect to Waterloo sniper Peter Brearley was Laurier played host to the men- keep Waterloo off the board forev- allowed to walk right in on Schnare acing Waterloo Warriors on er." Defying the momentum of the and serve up the winning goal at Thursday, a team that the Hawks, contest which was clearly swinging 13:56. Golden Hawk captain Martin Kearns looks to work some magic and certainly most of the league, in Laurier's favour, the Warriors' Coach Gowing, always the opti- against Waterloo last Thursday. have had definite trouble with in the Mark Cardiff managed to slide one mist, had mixed feelings about the past year. past Laurier goalie Geoff Schnare loss. "We're going to have to learn the division title this year. Despite Friday and RMC on Saturday. A Even with departed forward after an intense scramble in front of as a team that when we get a scor- being outshot a pathetic 10-0 in the confident Gowing is positive that the Ryan Cater, the Hawks started out the net. ing chance we have to bury it,"he first period, the Hawks got their acts team will perform well. well, keeping the Warriors off the Laurier recovered well after the said. "We really have to bear down together enough in the second and "I'm quite happy with the way scoreboard in the initial stanza. goal that halved the score to 2-1, but around the net" third to earn them a 1-1 draw. the year has unfolded so far," he Laurier, however, was also kept at the pesky Warriors relentlessly kept Laurier's next game was on Bryce Kipfer scored the lone Laurier says. "However, our division is going bay by the tight Waterloo defense coming at the Hawks. With only 32 Sunday against the veteran-laden goal. to be tight this year and our inexpe- despite a number of scoring chances seconds left in the middle period, U Windsor Lancers, a team with Laurier plays their next two rience may let us down in some situ- and the period ended in a scoreless of Ws Mike Chambers knotted the enough talent to possibly land them games on the road, at Queen's on ations." 'sjsiv All Day. Everyday. BKSg tm. of/m.c.de burger king corporation ©1996 theCord November 13,1996 15 (Sports)- Around the OUAA GREG CHOWNYK mance on offense as he caught two football program. Current head last year and the Hawks currently unrecognized. The men had a great Cord Sports passes, one for a TD. However it coach Dave "TufTy" Knight's con- sit undefeated at 3-0. Leading the season both as a team and individu- Here are a few facts and opinions of was the Gryphon defense that came tract runs out this year and there is way for the Hawks are all-star ally. The climax came at the OUAA the recent happenings in the OUAA. up big. They held league MVP some speculation that the OAUs all Kevin Shonk, Ryan Brown and set- Championships last month when Enjoy. Jarrett Smith to a measly 26 yards time leader in victories will not ter Todd Doughtery. Doughteryhas the team finished second in a tie CINDERELLA GRYPHONS: The rushing on 11 carries and allowed return to lead the Warriors next returned after taking a year offfrom breaker and Jeremy Ford won the Guelph Gryphon football team con- the Warriors only 195 yards in total season. There have been hints that the team and his presence and lead- individual competition in a playoff tinued their fairy tale run this past offense. The victory was the he may retire. ership has been a big factor. over fellow Hawk Drew Symons and Saturday as they defeated the Gryphons seventh in a row and Knight will be inducted into the Thomas has his team playing disci- Ottawa's Luke Saunders. The team favoured Waterloo Warriors 23-13 earns them a birth in this week's OUAA Hall of Fame this Friday for plined volleyball and should they also won the Gryphon Invitational in the Yates Cup. The Gryphons Churchill Bowl against the #1 his contribution to OUAA footbaJl as continue their great play, they with and the Warrior Invitational both by were led by RB Gerrit Stam who fin- ranked Saskatchewan (Huskies. both the head coach of Waterloo without a doubt be a force come substantial amounts. Symons and ished the day with 130 yards on 29 Gryphon field boss Dan NlcNally has and laurier. playoff time. Also in the Hawks Ford were named as first team all- carries and 2 TD's. That perfor- turned his team around from a 1-7 MEN'S VOLLEYBALL SURPRISING favour is the fact that they are a stars and both Chris Martin and mance was good enough for game record last season and now the So far this year the surprise team young squad and if Thomas gets his Brandon Dixon were named to the MVP honours. Nathan Body came OUAA Coach of the Year is one win here at Laurier has to be the men's way, they won't be just a flash in the second team. Coaches Mike in at QB to replace Wally Gabler away from playing for the National volleyball squad. The season open- pan, but instead a force to be reck- Belanger and Chima McLean early in the first quarter to guide the tide. ing upset over the #6 ranked oned with for years to come. received the Coach of the Year Gryphon offense and finished the WILL TUFFY BE BACK? It will be Western Mustangs was definitely OVERDUE CONGRATS: A forget- award. Bob Patterson and Brad day with 112 yards passing. Kyle interesting to see what develops in the first indication. Head coach ful Sports Editor realized that the Russell round out the squad who Walters, a DB turned WR also the off season down the street at Brett Thomas has turned the pro- men's varsity golf team's accom- were forced to obtain much of their turned in an impressive perfor- Waterloo regarding the Warrior gram around from a 0-12 season plishments this season have gone funding on their own.Well done! Swim Hawks lose big up north TOM FUKE sweep of the distance freestyle Championships. "We have a relay Other superb finishes were put Cord Sports events. Men's co-captain Tom Fuke (made up of Rob Guthrie, Fuke, forth by Pelleck who swam to five The Laurier swim team traveled was named Male swimmer of the Darren Nikolaus, and John Pelleck) second place finishes, Nikolaus who north for the weekend to face the Meet with his sweep of the three which is in contention for an OUAA had four seconds and Jenny Laurentian Voyageurs in a two day backstroke events. medal, and a team in the hunt for Parwicki who had two. Tom competition. The Hawks ran into Laurentian clinched the victories the top five. We will have a big say Stelmach, Sarah Weind, Jacqui strong men's and women's teams as with their strongrelay swims, which in determining which teams place in Kersey, Amy Middleton, lan Dawson they lost 199-130 on the men's side included a new Laurentian team the top three in the standings." and Mike Dineson also had impres- and the women bowed out 243-82. record in the 200 metre freestyle Boles was not concerned about sive showings for the Hawks. The scores however do not indi- relay. the women's score as not all the The team travels to Guelph this cate the promise which was shown Coach Boles, though is not intim- Hawk swimmers were able to Friday to take on both the Gryphons by all Laurier swimmers. Rookie idated. "This is a team we're fully attend the meet. He is hoping the and the Warriors. Dayna Patterson was named capable of beating in February," loss to Waterloo by only 12 points is Female Swimmer of the Meet with Boles said referring to the men's more indicative of what they are four first place finishes, including a team expectations at the OUAA capable of. —————— ■ — Churchill Bowl LIVE ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY AV. match-up set we support athletics, and if we fill and staff. It will be an excellent MIKE MCKENNA the stadium hopefully our goal of game so hopefully our students will Cord Sports becoming host of the game will be come out and get involved in order After months of planning by the made a reality." said Newbrough- to promote our school on the organizing committee at Laurier, Laurier Dean of Students Fred national sports scene" the Churchill Bowl will finally Nichols added "This Is our chance Festivities begin Friday night become a reality on Saturday when to gain national recognition, but it is with the OUAA Legends dinner the Cinderella Guelph Gryphons not only important but a necessity which will include a tribute to the take on the #1 ranked that the laurier community support 1972-73 Golden Hawk football club, Saskatchewan Huskies at University along with the induction of former Stadium, with the winner advanc- bench boss Dave "Tufly" Knight into ing to the Vanier Cup at Skydome the Hall of Fame. The game itself in two weeks time. will be played on Saturday with THIS WEEK: After a stunning upset of the kickoffat 3 p.m. Waterloo Warriors on Saturday in There are many ways for the PUB" the Yates Cup, the Gryphons earned students to support the game "LIVE the right to be part of the game (hat. Including purchasing raffle tickets THURSDAYS Rl VER WORKS has produced the last six Vanier from the laurier Lettermens Club. Cup winners. Saskatchewan Prizes include a colour t.v. as well as (NOV.M) defeated ÜBC by a score of 37-16 of Vanier Cup, Raptor and Blue Jay to earn them the berth as the tickets; tickets for the game can be CWUAA champion, purchased in advance from either "This is like our own Vanier the Laurier Athletic Department or "FIRE IT UP EARLY" § Cup," stated Laurier Athletic University Stadium. Ticket prices Director Rich Newbrough In refer- arc $5 for students and $7 for FRIDAYS PI6SKI|||SPLUGGED ence to the match-up "it will be an adults if purchased in advance, (NOV.fS) v excellent game and hopefully will which is a small price to pay in l drawa sell out crowd." order to see a first class football From the outset, the goal ofthe game. Laurier organising committee was U is important that Laurier stu- to show die CIAU that because of dents support this game because "CABARET' the facilities, support and aWlity to the chance to do so may never be Jtf'i'Phk host such a fii>l class event. Laurier the game." here again. It is a chance not only SATURDAYS CO/ttEDY CABARET and University Stadium should be "We are on target in terms of to see the number one team in the (NOV.J6) ® BEITB||PITB«- tour the permanent home of the promotion of the game, and finan- OAU but also an opportunity to be we Churchill Bowl. cially as hosts will most likely part of what will hopefully be the Brougkt to you by: *■:*•>>;*• "This is ;ui excellent opportunity show a profit but we need support beginning of a tradition of Laurier for laurier to show the country Uiat Irom the I aurior students, faculty hosting the Churcliill Bowl. 16 November 13, 1996theCord -(Sports) NBA: Western conference CONOR MCCREARY become. Problems? The Spurs are talented Bryant Stith, as well as the best five man unit in the league. huge trouble. Cord Sports softer than marshmallows left out in offensive dynamo Sarunas The bench is sort of thin, although if a Texas heat wave. Outside of Mr. Marciulionus. And rookie sensation high school phenomenon Kobe GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS Last week it was the Eastern Robinson, the Spurs are actually Antonio McDyess will continue to Bryant confirms that the hype about Is there a team that more consis- Conference and now we take a look kind of average. They have far supe- justify his number three status. After him is all true, this problem could be tently disappoints then the at the other side of the league. rior teams to compete with which that the Nuggets rely on older vets drastically reduced. The Lakers Warriors? At least this year with the could result in a short season. like newly acquired Mark Jackson, have brought Showtime back to life average talent that Golden State midwest division and Ricky Pierce. The Nuggets just and with one or two surprises from possesses, it will be hard to under- MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES aren't that deep. Problems? Depth, the bench, the Lakers may bring achieve. Latrell Sprewell and Joe HOUSTON ROCKETS What the T-Wolves are not occupy- age, and a lack of a real go-to-guy. another banner to Inglewood. Smith are a great one two combo. Hakeem "the Dream", Clyde "the ing last place? Well, the time has They will miss Mutombo in the mid- Problems? An incredible lack of Chris Mullin when healthy is still one Glide", and"The Round Mound of come. The T-Wolves have finally dle. depth beyond the starting five, of the best pure shooters in the Rebound" together on one team? made a commitment to removing Shaq's free throw shooting, chem- game - too bad he's never healthy. Move over Mike, the best three play- the bad apples that were rotting in VANCOUVER GRIZZUES istry (can the Lakers forgive Bimbo Coles and BJ Armstrong give er combo may be in Texas. Toss in their locker room. The new club The Grizzlies had a great off-season. Ceballos, will Van Exel shut up and the Warriors nice depth in the back- dependable Kevin Willis and the lead by Kevin Garnett and Tom They added Pete Chilcutt, Tim play ball?), Magic Johnson threaten- court. The Warriors can outrun Rockets look ready to return to the Gugliotta is ready to take the first Breaux, George Lynch (and the real ing another comeback. Bryant's bro- most teams with ease. Problems? NBA Finals, maybe. The point posi- teetering steps towards respectabili- gem) Anthony Peeler for essentially ken wrist (Out until the new year). Rony Seikly has given up, the power tion (especially after Brent Price ty. The addition of Stephon Marbury nothing. And with their pick, the forward spot is horrid, the Warriors broke his arm just last week), and a was a brilliant move - Marbury Grizzlies were able to land the huge- PHOENIX SUNS can only go so long without making thin bench are a cause for concern. should become the best pure point ly talented Shareef-Abdur-Rahim - Yeah yeah, I know the Suns have no a stupid trade so wait for it. Last year the Rockets were competi- guard in the league in a year or two. Shareef will create more room for Barkley, they have no big stars, their tive with Olajuwon and four What is really going to hurt Bryant Reeves, and this will create days are numbered, they're door SACRAMENTO KINGS CBA'ers, so the Rockets are proba- Minnesota is having to deal away some semblance of a half court mats... Well the Suns are going to Poor Mitch Richmond deserves bly ready to take off yet again. centre Andrew Lang to get Marbury. offense. The Grizzlies have a nice surprise. In adding Sam Cassell, much better than spending his Problems? Age of the big guns, Unfortunately, Cherokee Parks and one two punch at die point position Robert Horry, Chucky Brown and career in the Golden State and who's on point? A brittle history plus Eric Riley aren't ready to step in yet with Greg Anthony and Lee Mark Bryant, the Suns gave them- Sacramento. At least he has an a thin bench could see the revenge (if ever). Tom Gugliotta should get a Mayberry. Problems 9 There's a rea- selves some toughness that had excellent backcourt partner in Tyus ofthe CBA playing in Houston. chance to show that he's worth son that Chilcutt and Breaux et al been previously lacking. Michael Edney. Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf every penny that the T-Wolves are were picked up so cheap; they are Finley is ready to become a front should enjoy the new scenery and UTAH JAZZ paying him. Look for Doug West to all average players or underachiev- line NBA player, and the Suns have Sacremento has great comfy locker Utah must have a large store of bounce back from a poor season. es. Also, Abdur-Rahim is a turnstile some nice depth in the backcourt rooms for him to sit in during the energizer batteries - this team just Problems? A big whole in die mid- on defense, depth, depth, depth. with Steve Nash Wesley Person, and national anthems. The Kings have keeps going and going and going. As dle. Lack of overall talent. Outside of course Kevin Johnson. The real some veteran leadership up front always, "The Mailman" Karl Malone scoring. PACIFIC DIVISION key here is the health of Danny and a tireless worker in Olden will team up with John Stockton to Manning. If he can play 60+ games Polynice. Billy Owens and Brian lead the Jazz. However, the Jazz are DALLAS MAVERICKS SEATTLE SUPER-SONICS the Suns should shock people and Gant are both just a step or two finally seeing some youngsters like There's no reason the talented Mavs Well Shawn Kemp has arrived. Any finish number three. However, if away from stardom. Problems? Greg Ostertag, Howard Eisley and should finish behind Minnesota (and doubts over this point were erased Manning is hurt again, look for the Owens probably will never take that Byron Russell contribute. Also, Chits likely out of the playoffs) except for when he put on a MVP performance Suns to slide a couple of spots. step. The Kings have very average Morris gives the Jazz a useful small the fact t hat if the team was a chem in die Finals last year. With excellent Problems? Key players arc injury talent and arc small to boot. If forward, if he keeps his newly found lab it would have exploded a long point guard Gary Payton to feed prone, Joe Kleine is the starting cen- Richmond is shut down, the offense boy scout attitude. Oh yeah, that Jeff time ago. Dallas has a lot of talent - him, the Sonics again look like tre, old forward legs may have trou- is in for a long night. Hornacek guy is kind of useful too. of that there's no doubt Jason Kidd, championship contenders. Detlef ble running with the guards. Problems? Still a lot of dependency Chris Jackson, and JamaJ Mashburn Schrempf while slow of foot has a LOS ANGELES CUPPERS on a couple of big names. Sooner or are all brilliant players - too bad beautiful game that will help the PORTLAND TRAIL-BLAZERS The Clippers are getting better. It's later father time will show up. they can't eat lunch together let team greatly. The Sonics also The Trailßlazers went out and just too bad that they were so bad to Stockton and Malone have yet to alone play basketball. (So to acquired a defensive presence in the moved problem child Rod Strickland begin with. They are without a real win the big game. improve team chemistry Dallas post by signing Jim Mcllvane. Add and then acquired problem children star player and this hurts them. If went out and got Oliver Miller?!?!) the best bench in basketball (Nate Isiah Rider and Kenny Anderson. they could ever pick one up in the SAN ANTONIO SPURS The Mavs have the potential to be a McMillan take a bow) and you can Bad attitudes aside, these two guys draft then they may finally go some- Mr. Robinson's neighbourhood is good rebounding team, especially if see why the Sonics will hold off the can play some serious ball. The where because they have some nice becoming a decidedly less fun place draft pick Samaki Walker can come Lakers for the division title. Blazers also have a nice frontcourt role players in guys like Brent Barry to play. After making moves that to play. Problems? Not much, just Problems? Age of some key players, with Arvydas Sabonis and Cliff and Rodney Rogers. Power forward were supposed to push the Spurs that there is no frontcourt depth, lack of depth at the centre and Robinson as well as young gun Gary Loy Vaught is one of the most under over the top, they were unable to Eric Montross is penciled in at cen- power forward positions. Trent. Youth is also seen in the rated players in the game, and if the win in the playoffs and the admiral tre, and the star players hate each backups as Randolph Childress and Clips can manage to sign Brian has come under fire. They do have others guts, you know little stuff like LOS ANGELES LAKERS the impressive Aaron McKie will get Williams, they will have a passable an impressive point guard in Avery that. Well Shaquille has arrived in the some playing time. Portland is des- front court. Terry Dehere and Pooh Johnson but Vinny Del Negro may media centre of the universe, now perately trying to build a playoff Richardson are serviceable. be better off as a backup shooting DENVER NUGGETS all he has to do is lead the Lakers to winner before Sabonis becomes a Problems? Lack of star power and guard. Sean Elliot is a good small Not a good off-season for a team a championship. L.A. has the retiree. Problems? A lot of potential too many close games that get away. forward but his knees may keep that two years ago looked ready to starters to do it with Nick Van Exel, head cases, no backcourt defense While most of the team is solid, him from ever being the superstar move into the upper echelon of the Eddie Jones, Eldon Campbell, and from the starters, and if Sabonis some of the bench is pure CBA. that people thought he would NBA. The Nuggets do have multi- Cedric CebaUos. Together they form goes down, Portland could be in BJ^BB|WjHHp[^H|^p^W^BHjBH^H^BHHHHBBHB^HpHB White Week inLaurier Sports Wednesday Nov. 13 Men's and •Friday Nov. 15Varsity Swimming Women's Varsity Volleyball Laurier & Waterloo @ Guelph Windsor @ Laurier 6:oopm & 8:00pni A.C. •Saturday Nov. 16 Women's Varsity Hockey Laurier (§> Guelph • Friday Nov, 15 Men's and I:4spm Women's Varsity Volleyball Laurier @McMaster 6;oopm & 8:00pm •Saturday Nov. 16 Men's Varsity LOCAL CAII Hockey Laurier «s> KMC 7:oopm •Friday Nov. 15 Men's Varsity Hockey Laurier @ Queen's 7:3opm *' / liability this 18+ ' '('. 1996 PhoncTcch Corp not screcn callers and assumes no when meeting through service Adults Onl> I BBflfe-IT112 5?, docs thcCord November 13,1996 17 ENTERTAINMENT Winebible rocks Mrs. Robinson's ROBIN WHITTAKER "We go out of our way to market and gut-punching rhythms. Its lyrics Cord Entertainment to real people," says Hughes. "I will have you deeply captivated. Winebible have found the golden guess you'd call 'em blue collar... "Dad" starts as a solo-ballad that fleece of 90 s musicianship by suc- Not people who change their musi- rivals the pain and tone of some of cessfully melding heartfelt, infec- cal tastes daily." the greatest solo acoustic perform- tious lyrics with high-impact, ener- Despite their name, Winebible is ers around. When drummer Brian gy-wrought rhythms. Their attitude, by no stretch of the imagination a Tynan and the rest of the band kicks and consequently their music, religious band. Hughes stresses the in with the force of a pissing rain, it WHITTAKER seems to transcend class and age band doesn't "have influences in hits everyone in the bar. barriers in an honest way. [other] bands." Rather, "we listen to Their choice of cover songs is — ROBIN "Pound the shit outta the chords songs" by bands as diverse as well — peculiar; but entirely clever and you're gonna feel it... kick the Weezer, John Mellencamp, Tool, and entertaining: "Tiny Bubbles" shit outta acoustic guitars." and Frank Sinatra. Hughes's and had the place swaying and gyrating, PICTURE: The words of Winebible's Jodrey's interests lie in classic rock while "Seasons in the Sun" was the Brian Hughes and Jeff Jodrey strum hard at Mrs. Robinson singer/songwriter Brian Hughes from the 50's, 60's, and beyond. perfect cover song for Mrs. spoke volumes in more ways than I'm not sure that Winebible fits Robinson's primarily middle-aged the band because they survived one very vocal fan exclaim to his one, foreshadowing the heavy in with Bush X, Alice in Chains, crowd. breaking a bass string in the open- friends about the closing song, "One acoustic band's high-impact set last Salmonblaster, or The Killjoys, And Brian's vocals? ing song, and guitar strings within More Day" "That was a really good Friday. but they deserve just as much He looks a smidgen like Elvis the next four songs. tune. Really good." Winebible played at the bar that recognition. Presley — his confidence and swag- They were in a decidedly bad They were a tough act to follow. their bassist, Mike Baric, calls "the The songs Winebible chose for ger are damn close too — but you'll mood after the show because of Even for Carole Pope. Baskin & Robbins of beer:" Mrs. their set were the heaviest tracks like him because he's the ideal these unfortunate occurrences, but This was Winebible's first time Robinsons. from their sophomore, hard-hitting frontman: dangerous and unpre- they handled them as well as any playing in Kitchener-Waterloo. Centred around Hughes and fel- self-titled album. dictable on-stage; personable and professional Canadian band during Says Hughes of Kitchener: "It low Nova Scotian guitarist Jeff "Sweet Elizabeth" may be the accommodating off-stage, offering the performance. really is a great city." Jodrey, Winebible opened for rock band's most marketable song. Its no pretensions. Simply set for star- For the fans, the show was a tri- Winebible will be touring legend Carole Pope. They made rills and hooks are love at first lis- dom. umph because Winebible provided Northern Ontario, Montreal, and fans out of many in attendance. ten, with dark medieval undertones Friday's show was a triumph for exemplary entertainment. I heard Toronto in the next couple months. Mel's Ransom delivers CAESAR MARTINI Gibson comes to believe that he will man. He isn't a former navy seal, he Cord Entertainment never see his son alive again. In isn't a tough-as-nails cop, and he retaliation, he offers the 2 million doesn't know how to rip out a man's Movie: Ransom dollar ransom as bounty on the heart with his bare hands. He's just Starring: Mel Gibson, Rene heads of the kidnappers on national an ordinary (albeit wealthy) father Russo, Gary Sinise television. Dead or alive. This bold who's nearing an emotional collapse Directed by Ron Howard move causes a lot of marital tension as he attempts to get his son back between Tom and Kate, conflict alive. It is not all that often that a movie between Tom and the FBI agents If I had to find something bad comes out that I have to struggle to assigned to recover his son, and also about this movie, I suppose I could say bad things about... but Ransom puts a lot of pressure on the kidnap- mention that, at times, it moves is just such a movie. This wonderful pers. slowly and fails to deliver a great thriller is unpredictable, well-direct- This movie shows how mature PHOTO deal of tension where tension is ed, powerfully acted, and runs high director Ron Howard (Backdraft, RLE obviously intended. I could also criti- on tension. Apollo 13) has become. It is direct- cize the movie's ending as a trifle The movie is about wealthy air- ed extremely well, maximizing the Mel Gibson hurdles your heart in Ron Howard's Ransom, cliched. line tycoon Tom Mullen (Mel impact of many powerful, anxious However, these points are largely Gibson) and his wife, Kate (Rene scenes with dramatic shots and illustrates both Gibson sand Russo's an action movie; it's main purpose is overshadowed by the drama, real- Russo), who are forced to live out a well-placed camera cuts. One scene abilities for powerful and emotional emotion and tension. It has a defi- ism, and anxiety the movie gener- parent's worst nightmare when in particular, when Mullen is quar- acting. Gary Sinise also puts forth a nite weight and seriousness to it, ates. There are a number of inci- their son is kidnapped and held for reling loudly with one of the kidnap- very professional and believable and is characterized by an unpre- dents that make you truly afraid for ransom. Though he is initially will- pers over the phone, demonstrates performance. dictability that keeps you hanging the characters in the film, and there ing to pay the kidnappers, Mullen how experienced Howard is in This movie sounds like it could throughout the film. are more than enough surprises to calls in the FBI to help him get his directing high-tension situations. make a good action movie. Most importantly, the "hero" of keep you wondering what happens son back. After a while, however, This particular film moment also Thankfully, Ransom is nothing like the movie, Tom Mullen, is no super- next. • Thursday Nov. 14 group. '"Ilit; Torture King" freaks you out • Saturday Nov. 23 at the Bombshelter Glueleg and the Shannon Lyon Pop • Friday Nov. 15 Explosion play Federation Hall Where "Kaleidoscope" at • Monday Nov. 25 NUMUS presents St. Peter's Church in Kitchener, fea- Poet Rienzi Crusz gives a reading at turing mezzo soprano Anne Marie the Waterloo Community Arts Donovan and others. Centre. 25 Regina St. South at 7 pm. The K-W Little Theatre hosts an • Saturday Nov. 30 open house to kick off' its f'undrais- The Headstones play Federation to ing project, "Raise the Roof," 9 Hall Princess St. E. at 7 pm. • Saturday Dec 7 • Saturday Nov. 16 The K-W Community Orchestra 'Hie Moondance Cafe; presents Matt performs the music of Hdvard Grieg Osborne at 8 pm in the Maureen Forrester • Monday Nov. 18 Recital Hall, YVLU. Hang Author Veronica Ross talks about • Sunday Dec 8 her work at the Waterloo Elora Festival Singers present "A Community Arts Centre's monthly Dickens Christmas" at St. John s "Explorations in Writing" discussion Church, Flora. Bpm. admission $20. 18 November 13, 1996 theCord -(Entertairanent) Atmosphere, jazz on King Eatin' with Eaton and Martin JAMES EATON AND entered the restaurant and were roasted potatoes ($10.95); Jen JENNIFER MARTIN greeted by a friendly host. Along opted for the Grilled Chicken with Cord Entertainment with the dining area is also a bar Pepper served with Penne Pasta where you can sit and take in the ($11.95). Both meals were delicious On a suggestion from the Cord staff, live music (and some Beef-eater and represented terrific value for our weekly stop took us to King martinis). The restaurant gives off your dining dollar. Street Trio, located at 238 King an air of class without being stufly, The meal was capped with some Street West in Kitchener. and although we would suggest great live jazz (Fridays and Although situated right by City dressing up for the meal, jeans are Saturdays from 8 until 12). Other Hall and the movie theatres, some justfine. noteworthy items include halfpriced might fail to notice this new restau- James started off with the House appetizers at the bar from 5 until 11 rant; this is very unfortunate. With Salad ($3.45), while Jen partook of on Tuesdays, and Sunday brunch great service, food, atmosphere, and the French Onion soup ($3.75), both from 11 until 2 for $12.95. We HALTRECHT live jazz, King Street Trio definitely of which were excellent. For our whole-heartedly recommend King ranks as one of the best restaurants main course, chicken seemed to be Street Trio to anyone looking for great and great dining VANESSA we have visited. the meal of choice (especially after both a meal a The first tip we missed is that that heart scare at the other restau- experience. you can get your parking validated if rant), and neither of us were disap- Our meal for two, with tax and PICTURE: you park under City Hall, just off pointed. James had the lime Herb tip, was worth every cent of the $45 Yonge Street. That aside, we Chicken with fresh fruit and oven- bill. Spotlight on Killjoys blooming thespians termined as yet, but it may take the as audience members and partici- AARON HUNTER form of an improvisational blues ses- pants in production itself. "You see oyah! Cord Entertainment sion performed by Lynch and the fashion show selling fifteen hun- The Peters Building will play host to Varteniuk themselves. "I just sort of dred tickets," he pointed out. "I think drunk and screaming fans present two nights of amusement from the croon," added the theatre group that indicates an interest in perfor- MARK TANTAKIS at the August show. Laurier Theatre Collective next hegemon mysteriously. mance art at this school." It is the Cord Entertainment With the lack of audience, the week. Varteniuk described the ethic of Theatre Collective's challenge to This past Wednesday, the Killjoys usual distractions of mashing, over- Sam Varteniuk, leader and self- accessibility behind the Theatre capture and channel some of that took to the stage in front of a dis- heating, and fatigue were nonexis- styled "hegemon" of the university's Collective thusly: "We're not trying to interest and energy for its own stripe couraging crowd at the Turret. tent, enabling the listeners to take student theatre organization, spoke be any kind of art school... It's for of performance art. Fewer people showed up than in all the band had to offer. to the Cord about these upcoming students who have fun acting." He The Collective will be presenting expected, but the faithful fans in Those who did not attend events. presented the Collective as a group its two plays on Friday, November attendance received a classic per- missed a superb performance by a Both nights will feature two short devoid of hierarchy, where anyone 15th and Saturday, November 16th formance by the band. After open- great three-piece Canadian band. plays, broken up by a musical inter- with a project or script could come in PI 017 at 8 pm. Admission will be ing with "Brand New Neighbour," a Hopefully more people will come lude. out and start down the path towards four dollars. cut off of their "Gimme Five" out and support another great "It's two student-written produc- getting their ideas produced on Varteniuk extended a special release, the band played on, includ- Canadian band, the Tea Party, who tions," Varteniuk explained, adding stage. invitation to any students interested ing such favourites as "Have and perform at the TUrret on the 13th. that writers Sterling Lynch and "Theatre doesn't have to be in finding out about the Collective Drool," "Soaked," and "Today I Students need to support acts Adam Hossack are directing their intimidating," he stated, expressing and its spirit of artistic collaboration: Hate Everyone." like the Killjoys and the Tea Party own scripts. a desire that more Laurier students "If anyone's got a really big curtain For the rest of the set, the as these bands break the ice for The musical interlude? It's unde- would feel welcome in drama, both we could borrow..." Killjoys played a mix of material future bands wishing to play at from their two releases. Laurier. If we don't go out and sup- The TUrret, a venue not known port them, the Hirret will not be for hosting many concerts, provid- considered a worthwhile venue for Cord Entertainment and the ed better sound than the Volcano's other bands to perform. August presentation of the Killjoys. The Killjoys play Toronto's However, the Turret was missing Opera House on the 15th of spice of life. Write now! the shoulder to shoulder crowd of November with Better than Ezra. "What's in a name?" and, in most cases, artists do just from the dictionary, the UK distin- Cetinsky novel "House ofDolls," the er used to make. Her name is Pearl. this, make their name up. Thus, we guishes them from a 60's US band. Joy Division is the name of a group • Smashing Pumpkins: is a term have come to the point of this arti- • Husker Du: from Minnesota, a of prostitutes used by Nazi officers overheard by Billy Corgan in a cle: what's in a name? state with a large Scandinavian pop- on leave during WW2. friend's kitchen. Here are several examples of ulation, it is Swedish for, "Do you • Marilyn Manson: a blending of • Stone Temple Pilots: their first how certain bands came about remember?" It is also the name of a two famous people in American choice was already taken and they naming themselves: pop-culture: Marilyn Monroe and wanted to work with the STP oil DAN KERR Charles Manson. treatment logo. Cord Entertainment • Ned's Atomic Dustbin: the • Veruca Salt: chosen from the One of the more interesting facts Musically Speaking name of an episode of The Goon children's book "Charlie and the about bands is how they received Show, an old BBC radio series star- Chocolate Factory." Veruca Salt was their names. The stories surround- popular 70s board game. ring Peter Sellers and Spike the name ofthe spoiled brat girl. ing the naming of a band range • Bush (X): a name of triple signif- • JAMES: unknown for certain, Milligan. It beat out another I hope these examples have from the bizarre to the rather ordi- icance for frontman Gavin but probably because two band episode name as it was deemed silli- perked your interest in the trivial nary. Some bands choose a name Rossdale: 1) an area outside of members share that first name; er. realm of music. from a book, some make the name London where he once lived - majority wins. • Nine Inch Nails: Trent Reznor "Musically Speaking" is a week- up out of nothing, and some attach Shepherd's Bush; 2) slang for pot; 3) • Jesus Jones: this is simply the was trying out several possible ly column dedicated to covering the the - name in question in order to pay slang for the pubic region. The X is blending of a common Spanish first names NIN stuck because it fascinating world of music. If you homage to someone. I have even used in Canada, as a 70's band has name with a common English sur- looked good in print. have any comments, inquiries, found myself thinking through laid claim to the moniker. name. • Pearl Jam: named after the pre- insights, etc., address them to Dan names (a rather amusing pursuit), • Charlatans UK: simply taken • Joy Division: taken from the serves Eddie Vedder's grandmoth- at [email protected]. theCord November 13,1996 19 (Entertainments It's a bird, it's a plane, it's the Superfriendz! ERIN KEATING long to play, so they stayed on stage current release, "Mock up, Scale along with them and have a happy, material at a concert, but I want a Cord Entertainment for a lot longer than any opening act down." Judging by the many new good time. large part of the material to be Last Friday night, the two Canadian should, especially in front of an songs the crowd got to hear at the There were a number of prob- songs I'm familiar with from the coasts came together at the audience that is eagerly awaiting show, their new cd, due out in lems with the show that, as much as most current cd. It's not an exagger- Volcano in Kitchener. Vancouver's the Superfriendz. January, will be more ofthe same. I want to, I can't let pass. Firstly, the ation to say that over 50% of the Zumpano opened the show with Superfriendz are a band out of As soon as the band stepped on happy, just-having-fun atmosphere songs were new and unknown to their poppy, yet loud brand ofmusic. Halifax, Nova Scotia. Like the best of stage, it was obvious that they were was often at the expense of the the audience. These guys got things off on the our Nova Scotian bands, their music there to have a great time doing music. In conclusion, this show worked right foot as their performance was is a jumble of quirky lyrics (com- what they love to do. Their set had a In particular, the lyrics were much better as an introduction to infected with an energy which plete with some made-up words), very I'm-just-goofing-around-with- being jumbled constantly. This slop- the music of the Superfriendz than quickly spread to the audience (the lots of energy, and really catchy pop my-friends feel, complete with inane piness was unnecessary and really as a showcasing of established highlight was definitely the music which can only be captured comments to the audience and little detracted from my enjoyment of material. impromptu BeeGees cover that by the word "neat." The singles "10 chat sessions between the band some of my favourite songs. It was a disappointment for the was performed at the request of an Lbs." and "Karate Man" are perfect members themselves. The fact that Also, the ratio of new to old band's fans, who, despite loving the audience member). The only prob- examples of this musical style, they were so obviously having fun songs was way too heavy on the show's energy, couldn't get past the lem was that nobody told them how which is consistent throughout their made it truly enjoyable to bounce new side. I'm all for hearing new mistakes and lack of older tunes. "Vintage" orjustplain old? "recycled" and comfortably worn. CK all used them as inspiration for HE SAID SHE SAID (For those of you who are new to their current collections? Flares, DALE CHEONG this concept, not to worry: the hipsters, daring fabrics, and bold Cord Entertainment CHRISTINA MOGK clothes are all dry-cleaned before colours are not new - they all stem "Vintage" 70s clothing is, let's not Cord Entertainment they're resold.) from the brilliance of the past. mince words, unsightly and an Let's get something straight: vintage And while the designs are often The only difference between anachronism. It was not attractive clothing doesn't come from the retro and nostalgic, they're also then and now is the associated price Hard Cord in the 70s, nor is it attractive now. world's high-fashion runways, nor is timeless and lively. A closet full of of buying the clothes, and perhaps Granted, it may be a fad, but that it one-and-the-same with the 70s- "classics" becomes dull and boring, the quality of design. ROBIN WHITTAKER is all it is and ever was. The reason inspired clothes which are currently while even a touch of "vintage" adds The top designers may produce Cord Entertainment your father won't show you his old spilling offthe trendracks. instant colour and texture to the "classical" pieces on a regular basis, college photographs is that he Think about it: how can "vin- everyday. but ifvintage weren't classic, would 1. Extreme hunger pains. doesn't want you to see him in tage" be new? If vintage styles are really all that it still be kicking around in so many Actually your stomach digesting orange polyester bell bottoms and a Vintage clothing tends to be bad, why have Chanel, Armani, and closets? your pancreas — but just as an tie that looks like a paint factory appetizer. exploded on it while the Lear jet was cleared for landing on its mas- 2. Bucking the trend. sive width. 70s clothing is sloppy and, if a whole generation is embar- rassed they wore it, the current gen- 3. Return of the Killer Pedants. eration that is contemplating wear- Subsequently, we had best vamoose ing it, shouldn't. posthaste! Classic clothing, what some would call conservative, is justthat - 4. Squeegee. classic. In general, the labels which 'Illft name (its the object far too well. have withstood the test of time are those which maintain their integrity 5. Rhombus. of design. Chanel, Armani, Calvin - Better than no rhom on bus at all. Klein all have maintained the clas- - / ' ft ■ 1 T Ik ii T i V 1 ftJ t 1 I I I L S "I Hp sic, uncluttered looks which have k M 1 k I '1* 1 k *m 1 fll w■ 6. Sordid affair. successfully brought them into the I'm curious. But I hate it. 90s. Why waste funds on "vintage" clothing that will last only a few MHHifiI^BHHfIHMnHHBHHUHn^H^HI^HH., - 1■• 7. Top Shakespearean come-on. months in popularity before being iiM > , f* ~&~~'' >, Sextet a trois? relegated to storage? A closet full of ; : ■ !|||] MT #i'ji|| 11JrftJlj|T|BJ■rW» J|[[|W|iTl 9. Top cuddly insult Ragamuffin! 10. Lauder's Crystal Solarium. WRite far - Susan Walker, Toronto Star Really a big greenhouse for speci- mens who've been incubated under Entertainment VC - John Harkness, NOW Magazrie. the lights of the Paul Martin Centre. it's funky. |H| "Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun Times. r/LLy^ ffswow^joeM Fast Efhcient Service For Researching /|ro^^jQ_ p n and Draft Copy Work Costom Essay Service cilfff AilVCl November 15 to November 19 4 Collier Street, #201 2s| fIVt DAYS! 9:20 Each Night, except Monday at 7pm. $ Toronto, Ontario, M4W IL7 V > (416) 960-9042 g 20 November 13, 1996 theCord (Entertainment) ear candy abrasiveness. It is backed up by pled from Dr. Zhivago. ready to further their status as one powerful lyrics like: "O.K. I still get "Creature" has a more laid back of Canada's premiere hip-hop acts. stoned ... I'm not the kind of girl feeling to it, with many of the songs Stepping up to lend their support you'd take home." Still present Ls lacking the aggressive feel of are a variety of reggae artists, her characteristic raspiness and "Silver." In fact, the album highlight Beenie Man being among them, infamous style of singing out the is "disco days," a song which fea- who contribute as guests on roughly side of her mouth (which drives tures only piano and hushed vocals; half of the songs. most guys wild!) it would do Tori Amos proud. On Although consisting mostly of This album is not free of contro- the opposite end of the spectrum, West Indian artists, much of "The versy. Wal-Mart has refused to carry "resurrection" shows the band Master Plan" was recorded and the album because the song "Love is hasn't gone completely soft. Singer mixed in Jamaica. a Good Thing" contains the verse, Moist David Usher's lyrics are as oblique This fact becomes clear after first single, enti- Sheryl Crow "watch our children while they kill Creature as ever, with the usual subjects of hearing the album's Sheryl Crow each other with a gun they bought EMI death, drugs, and sex providing tled "Sound dash." The clash exists at Wal-Mart discount stores." inspiration. in the merging of reggae and hip- Ms. Crow is singing more After selling an incredible 400,000 Overall, if you liked "Silver" (and hop. Following the success of her 1993 assuredly and louder than on copies of their debut album, "Silver," a lot of you did), there is no reason The vibes they emit are heavy on and social statements, debut, "Tuesday Night Music Club" "TNMC," with songs such as Moist are back with their second why you shouldn't like this album. the bass but Silver, disappointingly light in terms of (7 million copies sold worldwide), "Everyday is a Winding Road," "Oh album, "Creature." There are two Of course, if you own you get which garnished her three Grammy Marie," and "Hard to Make a directions a band can take with pretty much already own this catchy grooves which in your all Awards, Sheryl Crow had a lot of Stand." their second album: they can veer album. head and stick there day. Only one exception exists - a hype to live up to with this, her sec- The harshness is matched with as far away from their original Tom Hrubes ond effort. Fortunately, she has intimate ballads. "Home" is a sweet sound as possible, or they can track buried midway through the more than met the challenge. Her melody representing two lovers attempt to recreate their debut CD entitled 'Test of Purity." follow-up release, simply titled talking on the phone, sung with the album. Moist has definitely chosen Opening with a bass line that "Sheryl Crow," is a wonderful utmost tenderness. "Redemption the later. Anyone who is familiar could only have been inspired by the film, the melange of great, self-produced Day" is treated with a fiery passion with Silver will recognize its influ- soundtrack to a 70's nudie music. and a hint of morality. Sheryl Crow's ence on this album. The most obvi- rhythms do wonders for defining Although the majority of the soul-driven influences are apparent ous example of this is "tangerine," your own sexual orientation and songs are essentially rock, Ms. Crow on songs such as "Maybe Angels" which sounds like a medley of Push pleasures. deviates from her traditional musi- and "A Change," which are power- and Silver with a cello. The remainder of the album's cal style at times and ventures into fully driven. This is definitely one of those lyrics poetically spew forth the other musical realms: funky-pop, This album definitely tugs at albums that grows on you. No songs band's opinions on everything from soul, and folk. your heart, feet, and mind. And Ms. really stood out for the first few lis- other MCs' hypocritical stances on Ms. Crow has ditched most of Crow is also clever enough to place tens. However, I soon began to "selling out", to women who don't her previous collaborators to do it the album's two poorest tracks at develop an appreciation for its Dream Warriors know what they really want in a her way. the very end. gloomy sound. Like many other The Master Plan man. Her party girl image has been Ryan Gibson bands, Moist has tried to experi- EMI The fifteen tracks included on replaced with a raunchy, bad girl ment by adding non-traditional the album reveal only a portion of image. This Isn't a space filler... instruments to the album. For the The third in a trilogy of releases, what is held on this multimedia disc. The first release, "If It Makes most part, the experiment fails. The Dream Warriors' "The Master With Windows (or a Mac), you can You Happy," is treated with utter honest, no..really. trumpet in "creature" sounds like Plan" is, as the title suggests, the point and click your way through a an afterthought, and much like a next step in their musical manifesto. fiinkadelic audio-visual experience. peanut butter and steak sandwich, After the Toronto-based band's first Nothing will come close to blowing it's a combination that just doesn't two albums, and a paperweight your mind, but it has its cute work. The previously noted cello in (better known as a Juno Award for moments. ■H Mh HfIHiHHHHB BBO* BY music by "tangerine" sounds like it was sam- "Best Rap Recording"), they appear Paul Winkels ■ fll ARTHUR LEONARD ■BM-flishi JM LAURENTS BERNSTEIN HI fei I EKTIRE ORHffIOU.PW)OUCTIW ■ H JBI BtRECTHJ & CHOREOGiWPHED BY ■VI ■ M 818 JEROME BOBBINS V ■ ISSH BASED ON A CONCEPTION OF ™ 1 ■ JEROME ROBBINS November 19th II R CHOREOGRAPHED BY i! I I ■ I TIMOTHY FRENCH 111 HJH ■_ MUSICAL mRECTION BY fl I B Celebrity Auction aflß ■ B flHj |^H| H ■ I H [JH JBBI mV B In Wilf's at Bpm Electrifying Seer*. ■ ■ J<*propeilU "^matuZZu — Sponsoredr by XI ip mv\ mm Ulll vtSA«mastercard«AMEßlCAN express Society CEN °|1P ISI Mon fri SOUARF INIHi I 111 l ml 10AM- 6PM 10AM- 4PM 112 i fpft ■WWJJlini" ,n, Contacl ihe Box Office for special hours UMUlJtllTm 101 QUEEN ST., N., KITCHENER related to performance days. wyt ** w theCord November 13,1996 21 brain candy the section that irks your head. How to curb your own desire • Kathy Cawsey She lived for the margins. Robin Whittaker like this for the eternity in which what matters when we meander — you've lived physically like every- down the road of strife — uh, life. Black and velvet and bleak was the one else, but mentally like yourself, Bitterness has no place HERE. Save result of something you had no con- themselves, myself, himself, herself, it for the ones who've given up. The random insight flashes trol over. selfless really. Hold your chin up and your head You're walking down this desert- Selfish always. will be pushed. Persuasion is sexy, scrawled in dull pencil then forgot- ed street: alone. There's a few cane- It's like when you find a restau- right? shaped poles hung with lights to rant promising a one-dollar deal on It su-u-u-u-u-u-u-re is. ten, moments captured liked a guide anyone's direction but yours; your favourite meal, and you find Selfabsorbed. and trees to line the guts of subur- out they're making a profit by serv- Now here's the rub. When I moonbeam on a mirror, wave- bia. It's a solitary trek indeed but ing you fifty cents worth of it. You've you've got too much thyme — —- - then... been had like the food you ate (mmmmm, no!) time on your hands - -U- scriptings on the sand. The slipping Jumping up from hidden quar- again. you start to ponder, wonder, by ters is what is more than a figment But do you do it to other people thunder that's it! For whom the bell — • thoughts gone forever unless, rarely, of your imagination — you know, too (have them that is)? To assume tolls is for you right? Wrong. It's for Scrooge's undigested morsel of so is to trip the light fandango on whomever you're talking to. Just ■ • T caught in a corner ofpaper. cheese — but a way of life — that is your feelings and come out the loser. say "the bell tolls for me!" if life sprang like May. To assume not is to be wrong more Then you're egocentric. It startles and makes you scream often than you think. Overboard and over-boring. from within, and never without, but Self-analysis. So then it's an oxymoron, so to She pestered him with questions. He always always. Yes, always and It never works. Who was it that speak. Who should you care about ceaselessly. "Perturbing" is the once told me "you can't know your- more (and equal distribution is not tolerated it, sometimes even enjoyed word your conscience argues in self as well as you know others?" I an option here)? Care for yourself, | your other ear. Maybe you're better never liked that person (maybe it you're self-absorbed, self-analytical it. But she was the one who started off otherwise in dispose. The people was me)... and self-ish. Care for others, you don't like you here, but they'll say I wonder if girls trust girls more lose the spice and the game of life. it, always devouring him with ques- they do, to suit their own fancies. than guys trust guys. And if guys Consider losing. You'll be unique. Nothing admitted. trust girls more than girls trust guys. And it's harder to do than win. j. tions. Unsatisfied with the mere At the end of the road Ls what And does the gender-role thing have Lose and be unique. My T-ball will make them admit it. What anything to do with it? The studies coach would never have agreed to 4 " words ofhis answers. springs up is what they'll use to would likely conclude a sixty-forty that. Forget it! make you forget it. What you think percentage one way or the other Believe it. And don't hit the pole is nothing new. No new effect could and no one would be happy. holding the lights. Someone may be impressed upon you — it's been But we think we are, and that's need it someday. She longed for his margins, his asides, his parentheses. Ached to Loneliness thumb through the notebook of his • trevor taylor mind - indilferent to the neat blue handwriting under precise dates, searching instead for wandering | doodles, idle mutterings. She want- ~— — —i— ed to catch his thoughts unawares, -'-r-- but never quite could. Like trying to | sneak up on one's own reflection in The lone wolf cries """"" isolated among the trees i the mirror. ofthe vast forest. —* * —■—I——^ Qirag [PteotragjCnoflFS SUBMISSIONS for brain candy will be accepted daily in the cord offices, or 24 hours a day at [email protected] * ) The above coupon entitles you to your own set ofInc Phinghurs! Justrub the coupon generously about your hands, and the complex transfer process will complete itselfin a matter of seconds, leaving you with a fine set of Inc Phinghurs. One coupon per person. Expires 1172096. DI22 November 13,1996 theCord BILL SER\flOES paper. Laser printing, dictaphone, resumes to the Ontarion, UC Room TRAVEL FOR FREE. For more info kitchen and bathroom. It is fur- <■ , v.: equation editing, graphs and charts 264, U. of Guelph, Guelph, NIG call 1-800-599-5808. nished with carpeting in each room. Support Croup available. Call Audrey @884-7123. 2W1. email ASCII resumes to Very clean with large deck, BBQ, Waterloo Wellington Myalgic [email protected]. Check out VOLUNTEERS NEEDED video library, cable and Encephalomyelitis Association Brockyard Recording Studio httpyAdg.uoguelph.ca/ontarion/hir- Make a new friend, learn about washer/dryer. It's home away from $325/month - utilities invites K-W area Chronic Fatigue 8 track digital, recording facility, inghtml. Deadline is November 14. another culture! Help a new home. includ- Syndrome sufferers, their family Great atmosphere. Excellent gear. The Ontarion is an equal opportuni- Canadian learn English. Two hours ed. Call Paul @ 747-2681 or Steve @886-0672. and friends to a support group All kinds of music. $2(Vhr. or $120 ty employer. weekly, four month commitment. meeting Tuesday November 26, at for 7 hours. Call 744-9907. Training provided. Kitchener- COCA COLA LAMPS!! you a pool table/games * Models, Actors Needed Waterloo Multicultural Centre, Have got The Adult Recreation Centre, 185 ,• n .,,,5,,. • King St. Please call our info line for EMPLOYMENT bY Kitchener agency for upcoming phone: 745-2531. , ~ V, the scheduled time: 623-3207. local and Toronto assignments rUnMLt , / -- - Business Manager (fashion shows, catalogues, advertis- Youth Exchange Program - 4 : : : Word Processing Service For student newspaper in Guelph. ing, promotions, TV commercials, Canada World Youth is now seeking room or just want a groovy light Old Coke lamps on Reports, resumes, letters, mailing Full time. Salary based on experi- etc.) Skills workshops, photo ses- applications from young Canadians comerpocket/Turret Rob lists, form letters, etc. on recycled ence. ACCPAC or equivalent. Send sions and immediate agency repre- and landed immigrants between 17 sale now. $75-$l50. Contact sentation available for beginners, and 20 for its 1997 Youth Exchange Cresswell @ ext. 3582. For appointment call 743-6550, 9 Programs with countries in Latin 11f 5 ■ al m. 1 1U J li Jim ■ am to 9 pm. America, Africa, the Carribean, Eastern Europe and Asia. _ ___ _ BMIiMSSUSUI Cash Paid Nightly More information at the Student CLASSIFIEDS RATES \ for experienced door to door sales Union or contact:: Canada World ~ x _ k- // reps/fund raisers. Six days a Youth, 386 Bloor St. W, 2nd floor, STUDENTS: A fl f X rz week U (/ mo - ON, 30 or $5 f/O (\ st V nvwaIif 5:30-8:30 p.m. $8/hour. Guaranteed. Toronto, M5S 1X4. Call words less j J - / — //- Call today start tomorrow Call Kent (416)922-0776 Fax 922-3721, email 31 60 words $8 l' 1 \f'V ■ M1//7 / H {\ * -i' ' at 1-800-447-1826. [email protected]. each word Over 60 .10 M 1° f/4 ll hf- 7 NON-STUDENTS: 30 words or less $7 n H y BUSINESS unuciur I 3 f ' HOUSINGp 31-60 words $10 O— nnnnDTiimitihc «fMf ' OPPORTUNITIES each word over 60 .10 Four or Eight Month Sub-Let SEMI-DISPLAY ADS: FREE TRIPS & MONEY Starts January 1997. Largest room add .50 v r Students to promote the GUARAN- of 4 in a house on Spruce Street. TV ______bath, large kitchen with 2 ( TEED lowest priced sun/ski vaca- room, foeD ' I'LL MEEv/FP I $26Mnonth, Placement forms are available V , 'k tions to ACAPULCO, MONTREAL, fridges. Semifiirnished. yoO/ /J // DAYTONA, CUBA. Tours are some utilities included. Call Sandra the in Cord office, Students' \ i // LICENSED & INSURED by the @885-5738. Union Building. Phone-in • >vj • Ontario Government. No risk. Call 1- orders can be placed by C3.ll- < /k j I 800-599-5808. Room for Rent ing 884-1970 (ext. 3564). -" 27 Pe ler St- Room for Ront - Jan Cash rec luired in advance for h / r%r%r%r%rm iktfrim PP -x OPPORTUNITIES Sept. $300/month inclusive, 8 month most Student classifieds. H lease, in a 4 room house. Parking Billing available for phone-in MONTREAL for NEW YEAR'S '97 avail., 12min. walk to WLU. Contact orders and classifieds running Two nights stay at 4 star downtown Scott@(416) 651-2166. for more than five issues. hotel & luxury bus transportation. Deadline for placements or From $129. Book 12 friends & 4 month lease-starts January 1997 cancellations is Tuesday at I ~ 3 rooms in a house just minutes 12:00 p.m. from WLU. House has separate L Bring In Your Thanksgiving Photos! Develop and print a 24 exposure 'Excludes Panoramic Prints Snf J-> • Not valid with any other offer )j i )J |5f| BFJfc5/ Uptown Waterloo I Mm (Across from Waterloo Town Square) !o,osourcew 96 King st. s. "Loome Night" 886-1320 i.i J . Wednesdays v*r:,£* 9 pm to ll pni ::|,T.SI' !-#- Students bowl for ii^ln>n||#■ « But ASsc* just a toonie „ Half-Price Lane& < "*»= TSpw „ . Zenlanrf No-Charge "■ % TOURS & rental shoes! ffr packages Rental Shoes *** with this ad! FIND OUT HOW TO GET THE MOST FOR YOUR DOLLAR IN AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND & THE SOUTH PACIFIC ISLANDS. Thursday, November 14 at 3:15 pm in the Library, Room L128 ;;iwAVELeuTS wlusu | WSffiB-lltilhliflliJII'l theCord November 6, 1996 23 : The fastest I wayoutof I university jlP m* ■ ■liMHHBiHHHHMMHHHBIM +.M 1997 Neon Coupe CHRYSLER'S $750 Graduaterebate: And our graduate rebate is the fastest way into any Chrysler vehicle* You've worked hard to get where you are, now you just want to get out there. make mark, So we've made it easier for youJ to go and your Dodge Vkfnoutfi Jeep. i Visit your local Chrysler or Jeep/Eagle Dealer today. ESm Pffllffll IfTlFI J CHRYSLER a Division of m 'i L___CHRYSLER L___ Chrysler Canada THIS OFFER CAN BE COMBINED WITH ANY OTHER * LIMITED TIME OFFER SOME RESTRICTIONS APPLY. OFFER APPLIES TO RETAIL PURCHASES FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY ON SELECT MODELS EXCLUDING DODGE VIPER. 1994 UNIVERSITY COLLEGE GRADUATES. SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS jj| PUBLICLY ADVERTISED OFFER CURRENTLY AVAILABLE FROM CHRYSLER CANADA LTD REBATE INCLUDES G.S.T. OFFER APPLIES TO 1996. 1995. AND OR