Gender and Church Planting
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Winter 2018 Men and women serving and leading as equals GENDER AND CHURCH PLANTING DEPARTMENTS CONTENTS 3 From the Editor Feminized or Just Faithful? How Women Church Planters Point God Calls in Black Sharpie: How Planting a Us toward Jesus Church Made Me Reconsider My Beliefs about 23 Reflect with Us 4 Gender Roles The Girl Nextdoor Women lead in churches, most of them just do it without a title or pay. Kay Bonikowsky 24 Ministry News We’re Better Together: 7 Words of Wisdom for 25 Giving Opportunities Women Church Planters 26 President’s Message 6 A reflection on being a young, female co-pastor of a church plant. Women Church Planters: Sarah Swartzendruber A Proud Tradition Obstacles and Opportunities for Women 27 Praise and Prayer Planting Churches 12 Women leaders overcoming barriers and doing church in new ways. EDITORIAL STAFF Taeler Morgan Editor: Tim Krueger The Egalitarian Church Hiding in Plain Sight: Associate Editor: Rachel Asproth What Church Planters Can Learn from the Graphic Designer: Mary Quint 16 Salvation Army Publisher/President: Mimi Haddad The 150-year-old egalitarian denomination behind the bell ringers. Kristi McKenney Being Egalitarian Isn’t Enough: 3 Strategies to Cultivate an Egalitarian Church 20 Creating a counter-culture of equality takes a lot of intentional effort. Jonathan Schut Mutuality is published quarterly by CBE Advertising in Mutuality does not imply International, 122 W Franklin Ave, Suite organizational endorsement. Please note 218; Minneapolis, MN 55404-2451. that neither CBE International, nor the editor, nor the editorial team is responsible We welcome your comments, article or legally liable for any content or any submissions, and advertisements. Visit statements made by any author, but the cbe.today/mutuality. legal responsibility is solely that author’s once an article appears in Mutuality. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the 2011 CBE grants permission for any original revision of the Holy Bible, New International article (not a reprint) to be photocopied Mutuality vol. 25, no. 4, Winter 2018 Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, for local use provided no more than 1,000 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by copies are made, they are distributed free, Cover design by Mary Quint permission. All rights reserved worldwide. the author is acknowledged, and CBE is recognized as the source. Mutuality (ISSN: 1533-2470) exists to make egalitarian theology accessible to the non-scholar and to explore its intersection with everyday life. 2 MUTUALITY | Winter 2018 WEBSITE: cbeinternational.org From the Editor by Tim Krueger Feminized or Just Faithful? How Women Church Planters Point Us toward Jesus If you’ve been around the evangelical world for long, you’ve to the established order and executed him. But he defeated probably heard people theorize about why more women than their power in resurrection and called us to carry on his work. men go to church. One popular suggestion (and complaint) Is it any surprise that the early church attracted the same kinds is that the church is too feminized, so men aren’t interested. of people Jesus did—women, the poor, the sick, the outcast? Too much talk about intimacy and community and lovey- dovey Jesus. Not enough talk about sports and trucks and As the body of Christ and the earthly manifestation of God’s strong, powerful Jesus. kingdom, the church should be allied with the vulnerable and powerless. The very premise of the church is a community Given the seemingly endless sports metaphors that rain down that values all people fully and invites them to experience full from American pulpits, one wonders what exactly is too humanity in vulnerable relationship with God and each other. feminine about church. The touchy-feely songs? Turns out a We are to be the antidote to sexism, racism, classism, and any lot of them were actually written by men.1 I believe the real other forces that elevate one group of people over another. issue is this: the very essence of Christianity is incompatible with our current culture of masculinity. This isn’t easy for those of us with power and privilege to accept. That’s why Jesus said it was easier for a camel to pass American masculinity, and its Christian form, “biblical through the eye of a needle than to enter the kingdom of manhood,” are defined by power and entitlement. We are told God. The same might be said for a man whose identity is that men have the final say, and women are to submit. Any built around power and entitlement. Jesus didn’t revise the challenge to a man’s power is branded “disrespect” and justifies Sermon on the Mount to appeal to the powerful. He told almost any response, even if violent. Men are entitled to sex. them to lay down their power and follow him. Likewise, we When they violate women and the law to get it, we excuse don’t need more men in pulpits saying and singing manlier them, saying the woman is at least partly to blame, and it’d be things. We need communities where men have to lay down a shame for one mistake to alter the man’s bright future. their privilege and follow Jesus. Men learn that manhood depends on avoiding “feminine” We need churches planted and led by women and men things. This is who are devoted to rooting out patriarchy and all forms of the reason why men won’t drink ‘diet’ soda and have had to have oppression. Then we will see the church become more like differently-named low-calorie versions marketed specially to them. Jesus. Women in church leadership are not in the business of It’s the reason why men resist using lotions and moisturizers even feminizing the church, but being Christ in the world. if they have neutral, non-flowery scents, and why some companies advertise their products by denigrating competitors with such In this issue, we look at gender and church planting. As I words as “precious” and “princess.”2 read the submissions for this issue, I saw a vision of church No wonder so many men are so concerned about a feminized as a radical alternative to the norm. Where the church is church. less about serving up theological formulations and more about serving people tangibly. Where men and women lead Contrast this with what Jesus taught on a hill in Galilee together, and where men lay down their power for the good (Matt. 5–7). He spoke of a new kingdom that belonged to the of everyone. It’s about winning people to Christ by being poor, the meek, the outsider, the peacemaker, the merciful— Christ to them. opposite of those who hold power in the world. Jewish and Roman power-brokers recognized Jesus’ teachings as a threat If that’s “feminized church,” then so be it. 1. Jeffrey Miller, “Common Sense on ‘The Feminization of The Church’”Christian Standard, Nov. 14, 2011, http://christianstandard.com/2011/11/common- sense-on-%E2%80%98the-feminization-of-the-church%E2%80%99/. 2. Kristen Rosser, “The ‘Feminization’ of the Church,”Wordgazers Words (blog), March 1, 2014, http://krwordgazer.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-feminization- of-church.html. BOOKSTORE: cbebookstore.org MUTUALITY | ”Gender and Church Planting” 3 God Calls in Black Sharpie: How Planting a Church Made Me Reconsider My Beliefs about Gender Roles Kay Bonikowsky made my stomach turn inside out. Someone in our church had said it, and the strategy group thought it important enough to write “Kay should be down for us to consider. an elder.” “Kay should be an elder.” It was handwritten in black sharpie on a big My friends and co-workers chuckled good- white page—just one quote among many others naturedly at the sentiment, but the idea was on one of those big flip chart tripods. Some life disregarded without much thought. Of course moments sparkle with meaning and clarity, and Kay can’t be an elder. Kay is a woman. And this was one of those moments for me. I felt although Kay spends thirty plus hours a my face get hot and my insides went queasy. I week ministering to our body of believers hoped no one would notice that sentence, yet and studying the binding off of her Bible,of I also wanted everyone to see—and affirm—it. course she can’t be an elder. Women can plant churches, but they can’t have authority over Let me back up. men when those churches take off.Of course. Seven years after we’d planted a church, our I was an unpaid pastor and untitled deacon for team was in crisis mode. The church needed seven years as we planted and grew a church out something, but none of us could agree on of nothing. I counseled. I taught. I encouraged. what exactly that “something” was. We were I fed. I made decisions. I organized. I designed. a core team of eight, four married couples I led. A title would have been nice, sure. But I who lived and breathed church ministry. was doing all of the things those with official But now that we were settling in for the long titles did, and it was fulfilling at the time. haul, we found that the gifts and talents that Since no one was sure what to call me, “elder’s made us a compatible and effective planting wife” stuck. But I was always one step removed team were not the same gifts and talents from a position of visible authority, or even the we’d need to manage that church.