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R ADMAP TO SELF-

Self-love is something we don’t talk much about, but it’s a major part of mental health. Consider this your guide to the fundamentals of building a loving relationship with yourself. You might just learn how to fall head over heels in self-love. What is self-love? Self-love is the practice of caring for your own wellbeing WHAT SELF-LOVE IS WHAT SELF-LOVE IS NOT and . There are many ways to foster self-love, and doing so is important for everyone at every stage of a lifelong process a destination . Self-love has nothing to do with self- or arrogance – instead, it is appreciation and of important for everyone self-confidence yourself. To get a sense of what self-love feels like, close your eyes and picture someone you care for very much. part of mental wellness arrogance Notice how you feel. Now, direct those toward yourself – that’s what self-love feels like! maintained with action and effort dependent on what others think of you

How do I know that my self-love needs some ? SELF-LOVE SCALE Some telltale signs that your self-love could use a boost are: depleted, experiencing mental or physical tension, overall decline in mental health, frequent self- critical thoughts, and a tendency to make self-defeating statements. This scale can help you gauge where you are I can’t seem to stop I’ve been mostly I have strong love I fully accept and today so that you can then decide how to strengthen your beating myself up. neglecting for myself, but appreciate who I self-love. Which most applies to you? I struggle to myself, but I have I don’t always am. I make daily feel love towards moments when I do practice self-love efforts to care for myself. appreciate myself. on a daily basis. myself.

R ADMAP TO SELF LOVE Below are some common roadblocks to Why is self-love How to identify and remove developing stronger self-love and ideas for how to sidestep them. Take a moment to reflect on difficult to foster? roadblocks to self-love which most apply to you.

There are many reasons why you might feel it’s difficult to practice self-love. One common reason is ROADBLOCK HOW TO SIDESTEP IT socialization – self-love isn’t often something we’re taught to practice, : Challenge yourself to release this guilt. Everyone deserves and in fact, many learn to Believing that you don’t deserve self-love self-love, and that certainly includes you. Practicing self-love themselves instead. This means doesn’t make you selfish – it only makes you caring. that we have little practice building the habit of self-love. Another is : Remember there’s no “right” way to practice self-love, the psychological tendency to put that you don’t know how to practice self-love or that and it’s difficult for everyone, even if others make it seem easy. you’ll be bad at it Take it one step at a time. ourselves down before others can, in order to preempt potential criticism. Old Habits: Remind yourself that it’s never too late to build new habits. While that might allow us to feel Being so used to neglecting yourself or thinking critically Be patient with yourself and know that self-love can be tricky protected from others’ opinions, it about yourself that it feels like second nature to foster. Have in yourself – you’ve done hard things often leaves us criticizing ourselves before, and this is no different. far more than we deserve. : Tell yourself that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you! Feeling like there must be something wrong with you for Practicing self-love doesn’t come naturally to most people. needing to put effort into this practice You are not alone.

Time and Money: Keep in mind that while time and money can prevent certain Recognizing that resources can get in the way of developing types of self-love activities, some of the most effective ones self-love are free and take very little time. In fact, you can do some of them while you work, eat, or drift off to sleep.

R ADMAP TO SELF LOVE Self-love takes Key ways to foster self-love commitment– Practicing self-love means cultivating THOUGHTS BEHAVIORS a loving relationship with yourself. A first step is to write down how you define a loving relationship, Savor positive feelings towards yourself. Practice compassionate self-talk. Use Practice self-care. Do what brings you When you feel any bit of self-love, savor your inner monologue to say caring, , and do it often. which will point you in the right it so that it grows. compassionate statements to yourself. direction to what you need for your Let the overly critical ones go. Put yourself first. Tune in to your own own self-love. If you could use some Build self-. Find aspects of needs and wants, and seek them out. concrete ideas, here are some tips yourself that you appreciate and allow Don’t believe everything you think. Care for others only when you feel for building self-love: yourself to be grateful for them. Listen to the negative messages you cared for yourself. tell yourself. Then remind yourself Practice self-. Let go of that you don’t need to believe those Treat your whole self. Engage in hard feelings toward yourself for past thoughts. activities that include care for your mistakes or perceived shortcomings. mental, physical, spiritual, and We all have them. Push pause on comparisons to others. intellectual selves. This rabbit hole will only leave you More from the Jed Foundation and Mental Health America. feeling worse. It’s also not fair Ask for help. Self-love doesn’t need to to yourself. be developed alone. Maybe you want someone to take something off your More information from ADAA, Mind Institute, plate, or maybe you need a reminder Crisis Text Line, and Mental Health America. to practice compassionate self-talk – whatever would be helpful, ask for it.

More information from Active Minds, the Jed Foundation, NAMI, and Mental Health America.

R ADMAP TO SELF LOVE YOU’VE

Self-love takes time, care, and continual practice. Don’t if it feels like there’s a lot of work to do. G T THIS. Take this as a journey that requires one small step at a time.

Check out The Mental Health Coalition’s Resource Library for additional information related to cultivating mental wellness. And remember, self-love conquers self-hate.