Torture at Home: Borrowing from the Torture Convention to Define Domestic Violence, 24 Hastings Women's L.J
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Hastings Women’s Law Journal Volume 24 Article 2 Number 2 Summer 2013 7-1-2013 Torture at Home: Borrowing from the Torture Convention to Define omesD tic Violence Claire Wright Follow this and additional works at: https://repository.uchastings.edu/hwlj Recommended Citation Claire Wright, Torture at Home: Borrowing from the Torture Convention to Define Domestic Violence, 24 Hastings Women's L.J. 457 (2013). Available at: https://repository.uchastings.edu/hwlj/vol24/iss2/2 This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Law Journals at UC Hastings Scholarship Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Hastings Women’s Law Journal by an authorized editor of UC Hastings Scholarship Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. WRIGHT MACRO 4.10 430 (DO NOT DELETE) 4/10/2013 6:05 PM Torture at Home: Borrowing from the Torture Convention to Define Domestic Violence Claire Wright* I. INTRODUCTION The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.1 Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses. Women for their strengths.2 Fourteen-year-old Josh stared mindlessly at his computer screen, unsure of how to respond to his father’s latest angry rant. He had sent his father an email the night before, asking if they could postpone their weekend camping trip. Josh wanted to attend his friend’s birthday party and get a good night’s sleep in a proper bed before his upcoming final exams. To put it mildly, his father had not responded well to Josh’s * Claire Wright is an associate professor at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, in San Diego, California, where she teaches property law and a variety of international law courses. On February 27, 2009, she coordinated the Ninth Annual Women in the Law Conference entitled Confronting Domestic Violence Head On: The Role of Power in Domestic Relationships and 2009 Ruth Bader Ginsburg Lecture at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. At this conference, she first presented the concept for this article. 1. Alistair Boddy-Evans, Quotes: Stephen (Steve) Bantu Biko, ABOUT.COM, http://africanhistory.about.com/od/bikosteve/p/qts_biko.htm (last visited Aug. 30, 2012); see also STEVE BIKO & AELRED STUBBS, I WRITE WHAT I LIKE, 68, 92, 103–04 (Aelred Stubbs ed., 1978). Biko was an anti-apartheid activist in South Africa in the 1960s and 1970s. Background Steve Biko: Martyr of the Anti-Apartheid Movement, BBC NEWS (Dec. 8, 1997, 10:19 GMT), http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/37448.stm. In 1978, he was severely beaten and died while in police custody. Id. He was thirty years old. Id. 2. This quotation has often been attributed to Lois Wyse (see e.g., VALERIE YOUNG, THE SECRET THOUGHTS OF SUCCESSFUL WOMEN: WHY CAPABLE PEOPLE SUFFER FROM THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND HOW TO THRIVE IN SPITE OF IT 63 (Crown Business 2011); CONNER BROWN GLASER & BARBARA STEINBERG SMALLEY, MORE POWER TO YOU: HOW WOMEN CAN COMMUNICATE 7 (Warner Books 1995); KAREN WEEKS, WOMEN KNOW EVERYTHING! 181 (Quirk Books 2011); ALICE D. LAVIOLETTE & OLA W. BARNETT, IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE: WHY BATTERED WOMEN STAY 15 (Sage Publications, Inc. 2d ed. 2000). Wyse was the president of one of the largest advertising companies in the world, and she was the author of more than sixty-five books. Claudia H. Deutsch, Lois Wyse, Ad Wordsmith and Prolific Author, Dies at 80, N.Y. TIMES, July 7, 2007, available at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/07/business/07wyse.html. For thirteen years, she also wrote a column about her life and family for the magazine Good Housekeeping entitled The Way We Are. Id. She died in 2007 at the age of eighty. Id. HASTINGS WOMEN’S LAW JOURNAL 461 WRIGHT MACRO 4.10 430 (DO NOT DELETE) 4/10/2013 6:05 PM 462 HASTINGS WOMEN’S LAW JOURNAL [Vol. 24:2 request. He had demanded that Josh keep their “camping date” and called Josh “selfish,” “lazy,” (presumably, he thought Josh did not like to hike or “rough it” in the wild), “a mama’s boy,” and a number of other demeaning names and put-downs. The truth was that Josh liked camping and hiking and desperately wanted to have a good relationship with his father. At the same time, he knew from his fourteen years of experience with his father that the only way to get along with him was to agree with him 100 percent of the time. Ironically, though his father had called him a “wimp” in his reply message, Josh felt like a wimp only when he gave in to his father’s demands. He knew that his resistance was futile. As he felt a nauseating combination of frustration, depression, and fear of failure, Josh typed “ok” and hit the send button. On Friday afternoon, Josh’s father surprised him by picking him up directly at school. Josh pleaded with his father to drive by his mother’s house so he could pick up some study materials that he had planned to review that weekend, but his father glared at him and asked, “You’re not going to start that up again, are you?” Josh did not even know what “that” was, but he knew better than to ask for clarification. When they arrived at their campsite, Josh’s father instructed Josh to set up the tent, and then set off to find a “nice, long hike” for them to take the next day. Josh tried to set up the tent but could not find any directions, and various pieces of equipment appeared to be missing. He sat down at a picnic table next to his father’s van and waited for him to return to their campsite. When Josh’s father returned, he started shouting at Josh at the top of his lungs, accusing him of being lazy and disrespectful. Josh was terribly embarrassed as a number of neighboring campers heard the commotion and looked over at them. Josh’s father then said that Josh must be “brain-dead” because he had not realized that the broom they had brought with them in the back of the van actually served as the tent’s center pole. He then handed Josh the broom and instructed him to hold it over his head in a horizontal position and take ten laps around the long circular driveway of the campground, saying this run would help Josh remember how to assemble the tent in the future. As Josh was a member of the junior varsity football team at his school, the run did not take a big toll on him physically. The shame he felt as he passed other campers on his run, however, was excruciating. After two long, mostly silent days of hiking, Josh and his father sat down to have their last meal before they drove back home. While eating, they noticed that the family at the campsite next door was packing up to return home as well. The father said he was going to fill their van with gas and would return in half an hour to an hour, and then the mother and two girls left the campsite for several minutes. After ensuring there were no witnesses, Josh’s father instructed Josh to grab the family’s big cooler and radio that were sitting on the nearby picnic table. Without thinking, Josh WRIGHT MACRO 4.10 430 (DO NOT DELETE) 4/10/2013 6:05 PM Summer 2013] TORTURE AT HOME 463 said, “Dad, that’s really crazy.” His dad towered over him and, in a low, threatening voice, said that if Josh knew what was good for him, he would do exactly as he was told or he would find himself walking all the way back home. With great trepidation, Josh went over to their neighbor’s campsite, placed the radio on top of the cooler, and carried both back to his and his father’s campsite. Just as he was heading back, the father of the family next door pulled up in their van and asked Josh what he was doing. Josh looked over to his father for guidance as to what to say, and his father then apologized profusely to this man and explained that he had been having a lot of trouble with Josh lately. He said Josh had probably intended to steal the items, if only for a prank. In fact, Josh’s father remarked to the neighbor, “You probably even heard me discipline him on Friday night.” The man nodded sympathetically, looked Josh straight in the eye, and said, “Now you listen to me, son—I’m going to do your dad a big favor and not call the cops. But you’d better start respecting other people, including your father. Your life is just going to keep going straight downhill until you can be honest and admit that you’re the real problem.” As unpleasant as Josh’s life is, he nonetheless possesses a number of advantages over most abused children and adolescents in this country.3 To begin with, on some level, he understands that his father is abusing him. In addition, he is old enough to testify in his parents’ child custody dispute.4 Perhaps he even lives in one of the approximately twenty-five states that recognizes a rebuttable presumption against granting sole or joint custody to a parent who has perpetrated domestic violence in the recent past.5 It is possible that his father’s email communications can be admitted as evidence of his father’s mental abuse in his parents’ custody proceeding.6 As indicated, most minors who are being abused by a parent or other 3.