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Tech Students to Sit on Football Field at Home Games

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Tech Students to Sit on Football Field at Home Games NEWS Technique • Friday, March 29, 2002 • 3 By Daniel Uhlig / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS “The opponents will be mesmerized by the intimidating Tech students. ACC football powers beware!” said a shaking Georgia Tech president Wayne Clough. The new student seating area, which is actually on the Bobby Dodd sidelines, will put students right on top of the ACC football action. An on-site medical facility will be created to help students who are injured. Tech students to sit on football field at home games By Jason Burt but is the world ready for students the other teams’ faces,” said basket- tackles little [Kelley] Rhino,” said seat Florida State as the preemptive Contributing Writer to be right on top of the football ball forward Clarence Moore. Kindler. “I’ll be taking home more football power in the ACC? Maybe action?” Plans presented at an athletic as- than memories. I’ll be taking home next year will tell,” boomed Jack- Georgia Tech Athletic Director Braine thought up the idea after sociation meeting show students a boney body covered in a conglom- son. David Braine the success standing just inches from the out of erate of The announced the court- bounds area on all sides of the foot- bruises.” on-field yesterday side stu- ball field. Aging seats will re- plans to put “I’m ready, and I think Tech dent seats “The opponents will be mesmer- football an- “I can’t think of anything main free for students on is ready, but is the world have had ized by the intimidating Tech stu- nouncer better than having a 275 students and the field at the at basket- dents. ACC football powers beware!” Keith Jack- will also renovated ready for students to be ball games yelled a sweating and panting Wayne son fears pound Florida State open up Bobby Dodd right on top of the football in Alex- Clough after seeing the quicktime this could lineman run into me as he room for Stadium. ander Me- video presentation. change the paying fans “I think action?” morial Junior computer science major game. tackles little [Kelley] Rhino” in the old we have David Braine Coliseum. Mark Kindler knows he will arrive “Nes- Mark Kindler student something on students sitting on the field Both fans hours before the game to get the tled be- on students sitting on the field seats. Braine that will rip and play- chance to stand a few inches away tween also said on- through the ers have from his gridiron heroes. Atlanta’s site medical very fabric of the college football been big supports of the plan at the “I can’t think of anything better towering skyscrapers sits Bobby facilities for fans will be available world,” said an enthusiastic Braine. Coliseum. than having a 275 pound Florida Dodd Stadium at historic Grant for the frequent and massive inju- “I’m ready, and I think Tech is ready, “I love having the students in State lineman run into me as he Field. Will the upstart Jackets un- ries expected. 4 • Friday, March 29, 2002 • Technique NEWS Paul Hewitt proclaims self basketball dictator for life By Rob Hoffman a game below .500, but the squad McDonald’s All-American. Contributing Writer was the youngest in the ACC and “I care about this team’s future, played extremely well in the last its past, and the present,” said Hewitt. After two surprising seasons at “I am calling for this nation to stand Tech, including the Associated Press’ behind me. Those who don’t will award for Coach of the Year for the face the iron fist of Tech’s basket- 2000-01 ACC season, head men’s “I care about this ball program.” basketball coach Paul Hewitt de- team’s future, its past, Hewitt has commissioned his clared himself Georgia Tech Men’s and the present. I am warlords, headed by power forward Basketball dictator-for-life. Ed Nelson, to begin enforcement “I look down upon thee today a calling for this nation of the “Iron Fist Directive”. Ac- new man, a greater man,” proclaimed to stand behind me. cording to War lord Nelson, Hewitt Hewitt while standing on the mid- also plans on creating a shrine to dle of the basketball court with the Those who don’t will himself. Alexander Memorial lights dimmed. face the iron fist of “Dictator Hewitt would like to, “The time of vengeance is upon us. at this moment, announce to the We will prevail.” Tech’s basketball architecture department his inten- Fans and critics alike have been program. ” tions of fashioning a shrine that will very supportive of the second-year last longer than all of us will be on coach at Georgia Tech. After secur- Paul Hewitt this earth,” proclaimed Nelson. ing a birth to the NCAA tourna- on his new status “Also, it’s a great opportunity for ment in his first season as coach in a architecture students to gain real year that many analysts thought world experience.” would land Tech near the bottom Warlord Ed Nelson is believed Photo by Daniel Uhlig, Photo Illustration by Ian Clark / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS of the ACC, Hewitt signed a long- half of the season. Next year Hewitt to be Dictator Hewitt’s second in Paul Hewitt, shown in a file photo, has assumed a new and loftier status term deal to coach at Tech. This brings in a highly-praised recruit- command after garnering the ACC in the Georgia Tech athletic program. Hewitt is now dictator for life. past season Hewitt’s squad finished ing class that features Chris Bosh, a Rookie of the Year award. Remember, the ads are real. The content is not. It’s the April Fool’s issue. NEWS Technique • Friday, March 29, 2002 • 5 wouldn’t want this guy on their Alums from page 34 Buzz from page 34 squad?” said Cooper in a telephone interview. level.” quality cog,” said Gailey. Tech AD David Braine didn’t Its been rumored that the team When asked what team he would elaborate on possible replacements, will be a unanimous No. 1 pick by like to play for, Buzz didn’t give any but there is some feeling that the all three collegiate baseball rank- clues. The Charlotte Hornets, who Jackets should contact the Georgia ings. Last time they were honored are rumored to be looking for young Bulldog mascot. so, which was last season, they blood to enter “There are cer- choked. “It will be interesting to see their struggling tain times where how the our chemistry will come franchise, would “What we are we have to drop together. I for one have never like seem to be the personal feel- the Red Sox. I’m full-fledged New perfect fit for looking at here is the ings,” said York Yankee” declared a current Buzz. perfect product to Braine. “I want Tech team member that wished to “I want to be to pursue all remain anonymous. a professional. market. Who wouldn’t leads.” Texiera will replace current third That’s it. Plain want this guy on their Clough and base starter Matthew Boggs, who at and simple. I Braine have es- times has had fielding problems, don’t care where squad?” tablished a na- and Nomar will take over for Victor I land,” said Lonnie Cooper tion-wide search Menocal at shortstop who will most Buzz. Athlete Agent committee re- likely move to second base. The Buzz’s agent, sponsible for the three players first games back will Atlanta-based placement of a be for next weekend’s home series. Lonnie Cooper, new Tech mas- is very confident Buzz can be a long- Returning Players cot. Braine also plans to consult term component of a team’s master with other long-standing mascots, Player Position ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ plan. including the Stanford Tree, the Kevin Brown P COURTESY GT SPORTS INFORMATION ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ “What we are looking at here is Fighting Irishman of Notre Dame, Nomar Garciaparra SS Nomar Garciaparra, shown here during his career as a Yellow Jacket, ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ the perfect product to market. Cool. Sparty the Michigan State Spartan, Mark Texiera 3B is expected to help boast the offensive lineup of head coach Danny Hall. ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Athletic. Fun. A real winner. Who and the Syracuse Orangeman. 6 • Friday, March 29, 2002 • Technique NEWS page 34 Students swarm field Clough on Broadway Students will now be on the sidelines of all Multi-talented Tech President Wayne ‘ORTS home Tech football games after the success Clough will leave his post at GT to perform of the new basketball seating. Page 30 as the “Phantom of the Opera”. Page 21 Technica • Monday, April 1, 2002 Buzz leaves: A campus in shock Football ticket prices skyrocket Student ticket prices for home Buzz to forego final year, go pro games next fall will raise over 300 percent. The increase in ticket cost will be used to help fund the renovations of Bobby Dodd Sta- dium. Athletic Director David Braine said, “I hope the increased price will not affect student at- tendance, but it is necessary in order to complete the construc- tion on the stadium.” The tickets will increase an additional 150 percent for the 2003 season. Away game prices will remain the same. O’Keefe damaged by Bush-led party Wednesday’s ‘speech’ by Bush escalated into a fullout kegger in the O’Keefe Gymnasium. The invitation-only event destroyed the ground level floor and left the gym in shambles. Beer and alcohol were found covering the floor along with immense amounts of trash. All practices of the volleyball team and meet- ings of the bar bell club have been cancelled until everything can be fixed.
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