Outdoors JA08.Qxd:TOTI 4P Dept Temp 1206 5/22/08 11:24 PM Page 38

Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4p Dept Temp 1206 5/22/08 11:24 PM Page 38

) OUTDOORS(

Florida’s Roadside Attractions

A little kitsch for the kid in all of us

by Chelle Koster Walton top, daddy, stop!” the four of dering on hokey. The “Glades” us would plead whenever we brand of roadside attractions saw signs alongside the road fall in line, but they boast Sadvertising two-headed calves their own twist and bite: or water that runs uphill. (specifically) alligators. Many of Roadside attractions: They have them started up in the 1950s and always fascinated me, mostly because ’60s to grab dollars from fami- my parents flatly denied our curiosity lies with the sticky paper of natural Every form of natural oddity from gators to pythons, can be found with categorically dismissive words wonderment—no hoax required. They along Florida's Tamiami Trail that such as “ripoff” and “hoax.” still appeal strongly to families, while mows through Everglades country. Now it’s my job to investigate these adults, and particularly environmental- vestiges of early tourism, and my favorite ly conscious ones, might find them a nearly every stop). Buses bringing in occupy the stretch of Tamiami Trail that bit...less in the wonderment depart- cruise ship passengers are another mows through Everglades country. ment than the kids. signpost. By definition, a classic roadside As a part of Old Florida, nonetheless, attraction should be kitsch at best, bor- I’m happy to see them survive. Beside Roadside attraction: Wooten’s gators, the attractions thrive now as Airboat Tours, since 1953 they did back then on the exotica of the Where the heck? In Ochopee, Native Americans who share the land One and one-half mile east of Route 29. and the thrill of noisy airboat rides into What the heck? Snakes! Panthers! the River of Grass, impenetrable by any Turtles! Crocodiles! Swamp Buggy other means because of the threat its Rides! (See an old fish camp complete sawgrass poses. Many throw in a funky with moonshine still!) Airboat Tours! museum; some others, live animals in How about them ‘gators! Dozens of pens, a gift shop, a restaurant serving ‘em in captivity, from babies to monster- frog legs and gator tail, animal shows, a sized. They’re laid up on the bank of the campground, a nature trail, or any park’s central pond like beady-eyed logs. combination thereof. Look for these See them in the wild on the tours. roadside stops along the Trail (an Phone: 239-695-2781 or 800-282-2781

American flag atop a tall pole marks Web site: www.wootensairboats.com WALTON BY CHELLE KOSTER PHOTO BOTTOM

38 JULY/AUGUST 2008 Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4pDeptTemp12065/22/0811:24PMPage39

PHOTOS BY CHELLE KOSTER WALTON cued by hisstaff. released intotheenvironment andres- emus, andpythons that have been animal parkincludesapettingzoo, sion ofBigFoot inhis “museum.” The and afieldguidetotheEverglades’ ver- owner, shows avideoandsellssouvenirs David Shealy, thesecond-generation fool you—this isashokeyitgets. What theheck? east of Wooten’s. panther),statue ofaFlorida afewmiles (lookforthesuper-sized Campground Where theheck? Research Headquarters Roadside attraction: Skunk Ape especially atthenatural wonder roadside attractions along theTrail. You’ll seemore gators inFlorida youever thoughtpossible, than Don’t letthe name At Trail Lakes At Trail e ie www.skunkape.info Web site: Phone: 305-695-2275 ontheirway.and morearereportedly main focushere, but you’ll seeafew, How aboutthem ‘gators! Not the 239-472-6981 everyone. from everythingand,virtually, units. Thatway, you cangetaway andthree-bedroomrental two- limited numberofotherspacious clubhouse andtenniscourtswitha path, youshareahugepool, On theshorebutoffbeaten measure ofprivacyandseclusion. gives Sanibelvisitorsarare way, BlindPass Condominium Nestled charminglyoutofthe or, e-mail:[email protected] www.Blind-Pass.com AEYSEE RARELY RVT AS PRIVATE AEYSEE RARELY RVT AS PRIVATE For reservations,call AT AS PARTS AT AS PARTS 800-852-2038 Sanibel, Florida33957 5117 SeaBellRoad THESE THESE Y Y OU OU | Fax 239-472-1489 WWW.TOTI.COM ’ ’ LL LL . . 39 Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4pDeptTemp12065/22/0811:24PMPage40 40 ) e ie www.miccosukeetribe.com Web site: Phone: 305-223-8380 one highlightofavisittothe Village. alligator-wrestling showAmerican is How aboutthem ‘gators! health allows. whenhis customers greets personally operation. At ninety-something, hestill Buffalo Tiger, anotherairboat tour runs ofthetribe, chairman elder andformer hammock camp. Down theroad, an toaMiccosukeeIndian boat tours bread.legs, air- Itoffers andIndianfry Restaurant, gator tail, featuring frog and, down theroad, Miccosukee and native craftspeople, shop, agift ture museum, outdoorchickeedisplays exhibit ofnative life, itincludesacul- What theheck? of theFlorida Turnpike. east ofRoute29, twenty-five mileswest Where theheck? Village Indian Roadside attraction: Miccosukee e ie www.evsafaripark.com Web site: Phone: 305-226-6923 crocs aswell asgators. Trail leadstoGator Island, filledwith How aboutthem ‘gators! shop. tackygift appropriately wildlife shows, arestaurant, andan museum, a smallnatural history announcing airboat departures. There’s sounds of Trail trafficandthebullhorn it feelslikewilderness, exceptforthe via boardwalk throughwetlands where What theheck? anairboat. the blackbearanddeerriding Florida Turnpike. Lookupintheairfor of Route29, fifteenmileswest ofthe Where theheck? ParkSafari Roadside attraction: Everglades O JULY/AUGUST 2008 UTDOORS Jungle Trail takesyou The mostauthentic Forty-five mileseast Thirty-five miles Thirty-five The Native The Jungle ( TV shows, andcommercials), special- probably seenitinanumber of movies, straight outofamovie (factis, you’ve What theheck? town, population—eight. road fromGator Park, itisitsown Where theheck? Coopertown, since 1945 Roadside attraction: www.gatorpark.comWeb site: Phone: 305-559-2255or800-559-2205 some education. stunts pepperedwith the typicaldaring boat tour. An alligator show includes inthecanalonourair- couple ofgators How aboutthem ‘gators! shop,gift RV park. and Stew.) Otherfacilities: restaurant, hecallsSoup such asthetwo turtles naming theanimalsherecognized, educational. (My guidewas fondof than boat tourmoreisentertaining done, air- andtheforty-five-minute The wildlifeshows herearewell- and arecreated Miccosukeevillage? roadside attraction withoutsnakes What theheck? the Florida Turnpike. east ofRoute29, twelve mileswest of Where theheck? Gator Park, sincethe1950s Roadside attraction: Everglades What’s anEverglades The restauranthere, A miledown the Forty-eight miles Forty-eight We saw a Miccosukee (left). Village designs herald yourarrival to Tribaltour boat(above). Everglades Park Safari lots ofbird onthefifteen-mileloop. to seegatorsgalore, river otters, and Valley Everglades National Park’s Shark Road for more wildlife.) the boardwalk out front. (Take Loop Visitor Center Big Cypress National Preserve Oasis gators from theboardwalk. Williams RoadsidePark Big Cypress National Preserve H.P. Memorial ScenicDrive. or getseriousonthetrailsoff W.J. Janes Park Fakahatchee StrandPreserve State ment andanicecampground. introduction totheEverglades environ- Collier-Seminole State Park kitsch andgoofy humor. genuine nature experience—holdthe the route for thoselookingfor amore wrestling show, don’t despair. Here’s after your firststopandalligator- If you’re screaming “get meouttahere” FOR THE ENVIRONPHILE FOR THE : take aleisurely boardwalk stroll : rideatram tour orrent abike : gatorsguaranteedalong : lookfor : aneasy

PHOTOS BY CHELLE KOSTER WALTON Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4p Dept Temp 1206 5/22/08 11:24 PM Page 41

izes in frog legs and swamp café ambi- ence (is that an oxymoron?). It touts its rides as “the original airboat tour” and rated best by the Miami Herald. How about them ‘gators! Cooper- town’s alligator exhibit has ‘em in all sizes, up to fourteen feet long. Chances are you’ll see more on the airboat tour. Phone: 305-226-6048 Web site: www.coopertownairboats.com n

Chelle Koster Walton annually updates the Everglades chapter for Fodor’s Florida A little swamp humor in the form of a sign over the restaurant that reads and, despite her eco-conscience, hasn’t met “Illegally Parked Frogs Will Get Toad Away” (left). Egrets, herons, ospreys, and

LEFT PHOTO BY CHELLE KOSTER WALTON BY CHELLE KOSTER LEFT PHOTO a roadside attraction she hasn’t loved. gators are among the natural sights on an Everglades airboat tour (above).

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