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Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4p Dept Temp 1206 5/22/08 11:24 PM Page 38 ) OUTDOORS( Florida’s Roadside Attractions A little kitsch for the kid in all of us by Chelle Koster Walton top, daddy, stop!” the four of dering on hokey. The “Glades” us would plead whenever we brand of roadside attractions saw signs alongside the road fall in line, but they boast Sadvertising two-headed calves their own twist and bite: or water that runs uphill. (specifically) alligators. Many of Roadside attractions: They have them started up in the 1950s and always fascinated me, mostly because ’60s to grab dollars from fami- my parents flatly denied our curiosity lies with the sticky paper of natural Every form of natural oddity from gators to pythons, can be found with categorically dismissive words wonderment—no hoax required. They along Florida's Tamiami Trail that such as “ripoff” and “hoax.” still appeal strongly to families, while mows through Everglades country. Now it’s my job to investigate these adults, and particularly environmental- vestiges of early tourism, and my favorite ly conscious ones, might find them a nearly every stop). Buses bringing in occupy the stretch of Tamiami Trail that bit...less in the wonderment depart- cruise ship passengers are another mows through Everglades country. ment than the kids. signpost. By definition, a classic roadside As a part of Old Florida, nonetheless, attraction should be kitsch at best, bor- I’m happy to see them survive. Beside Roadside attraction: Wooten’s gators, the attractions thrive now as Airboat Tours, since 1953 they did back then on the exotica of the Where the heck? In Ochopee, Native Americans who share the land One and one-half mile east of Route 29. and the thrill of noisy airboat rides into What the heck? Snakes! Panthers! the River of Grass, impenetrable by any Turtles! Crocodiles! Swamp Buggy other means because of the threat its Rides! (See an old fish camp complete sawgrass poses. Many throw in a funky with moonshine still!) Airboat Tours! museum; some others, live animals in How about them ‘gators! Dozens of pens, a gift shop, a restaurant serving ‘em in captivity, from babies to monster- frog legs and gator tail, animal shows, a sized. They’re laid up on the bank of the campground, a nature trail, or any park’s central pond like beady-eyed logs. combination thereof. Look for these See them in the wild on the tours. roadside stops along the Trail (an Phone: 239-695-2781 or 800-282-2781 American flag atop a tall pole marks Web site: www.wootensairboats.com WALTON BY CHELLE KOSTER PHOTO BOTTOM 38 JULY/AUGUST 2008 Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4p Dept Temp 1206 5/22/08 11:24 PM Page 39 YYOU’LL RARELY SEE PARTS AS PRIVATE AS Roadside attraction: Skunk Ape Research Headquarters THESE. Where the heck? At Trail Lakes Campground (look for the super-sized statue of a Florida panther), a few miles east of Wooten’s. Nestled charmingly out of the What the heck? Don’t let the name way, Blind Pass Condominium fool you—this is as hokey as it gets. gives Sanibel visitors a rare David Shealy, the second-generation measure of privacy and seclusion. owner, shows a video and sells souvenirs On the shore but off the beaten and a field guide to the Everglades’ ver- path, you share a huge pool, sion of Big Foot in his “museum.” The How about them ‘gators! Not the clubhouse and tennis courts with a animal park includes a petting zoo, main focus here, but you’ll see a few, limited number of other spacious emus, and pythons that have been and more are reportedly on their way. two- and three-bedroom rental released into the environment and res- Phone: 305-695-2275 units. That way, you can get away cued by his staff. Web site: www.skunkape.info from everything and, virtually, everyone. For reservations, call 800-852-2038 www.Blind-Pass.com or, e-mail: [email protected] 5117 Sea Bell Road Sanibel, Florida 33957 | You’ll see more gators in Florida than you ever thought possible, 239-472-6981 Fax 239-472-1489 PHOTOS BY CHELLE KOSTER WALTON BY CHELLE KOSTER PHOTOS especially at the natural wonder roadside attractions along the Trail. WWW.TOTI.COM 39 Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4p Dept Temp 1206 5/22/08 11:24 PM Page 40 ) OUTDOORS( Roadside attraction: Miccosukee Indian Village Where the heck? Thirty-five miles east of Route 29, twenty-five miles west of the Florida Turnpike. What the heck? The most authentic exhibit of native life, it includes a cul- ture museum, outdoor chickee displays and native craftspeople, a gift shop, and, down the road, Miccosukee Restaurant, featuring gator tail, frog legs, and Indian fry bread. It offers air- boat tours to a Miccosukee Indian hammock camp. Down the road, an elder and former chairman of the tribe, Buffalo Tiger, runs another airboat tour operation. At ninety-something, he still personally greets customers when his health allows. How about them ‘gators!The Native American alligator-wrestling show is one highlight of a visit to the Village. Phone: 305-223-8380 Web site: www.miccosukeetribe.com Roadside attraction: Everglades Everglades Safari Park Gator Park, since the 1950s tour boat (above). Tribal Where the heck? Forty-eight miles designs herald your arrival to Miccosukee Village (left). east of Route 29, twelve miles west of the Florida Turnpike. What the heck?What’s an Everglades FOR THE ENVIRONPHILE roadside attraction without snakes and a recreated Miccosukee village? The wildlife shows here are well- done, and the forty-five-minute air- boat tour more is entertaining than If you’re screaming “get me outta here” educational. (My guide was fond of after your first stop and alligator- wrestling show, don’t despair. Here’s naming the animals he recognized, the route for those looking for a more such as the two turtles he calls Soup genuine nature experience—hold the Roadside attraction: Everglades and Stew.) Other facilities: restaurant, kitsch and goofy humor. Safari Park gift shop, RV park. Collier-Seminole State Park: an easy Where the heck? Forty-five miles east How about them ‘gators! We saw a introduction to the Everglades environ- of Route 29, fifteen miles west of the couple of gators in the canal on our air- ment and a nice campground. Florida Turnpike. Look up in the air for boat tour. An alligator show includes Fakahatchee Strand Preserve State the black bear and deer riding an airboat. the typical daring stunts peppered with Park: take a leisurely boardwalk stroll What the heck? Jungle Trail takes you some education. or get serious on the trails off W.J. Janes Memorial Scenic Drive. via boardwalk through wetlands where Phone: 305-559-2255 or 800-559-2205 it feels like wilderness, except for the Web site: www.gatorpark.com Big Cypress National Preserve H.P. Williams Roadside Park: look for sounds of Trail traffic and the bullhorn gators from the boardwalk. announcing airboat departures. There’s Roadside attraction: Big Cypress National Preserve Oasis a small natural history museum, Coopertown, since 1945 Visitor Center: gators guaranteed along wildlife shows, a restaurant, and an Where the heck? A mile down the the boardwalk out front. (Take Loop appropriately tacky gift shop. road from Gator Park, it is its own Road for more wildlife.) How about them ‘gators! The Jungle town, population—eight. Everglades National Park’s Shark Trail leads to Gator Island, filled with What the heck? The restaurant here, Valley: ride a tram tour or rent a bike crocs as well as gators. straight out of a movie (fact is, you’ve to see gators galore, river otters, and Phone: 305-226-6923 probably seen it in a number of movies, lots of bird on the fifteen-mile loop. Web site: www.evsafaripark.com TV shows, and commercials), special- WALTON BY CHELLE KOSTER PHOTOS 40 JULY/AUGUST 2008 Outdoors_JA08.qxd:TOTI 4p Dept Temp 1206 5/22/08 11:24 PM Page 41 izes in frog legs and swamp café ambi- ence (is that an oxymoron?). It touts its rides as “the original airboat tour” and rated best by the Miami Herald. How about them ‘gators! Cooper- town’s alligator exhibit has ‘em in all sizes, up to fourteen feet long. Chances are you’ll see more on the airboat tour. Phone: 305-226-6048 Web site: www.coopertownairboats.com n Chelle Koster Walton annually updates the Everglades chapter for Fodor’s Florida A little swamp humor in the form of a sign over the restaurant that reads and, despite her eco-conscience, hasn’t met “Illegally Parked Frogs Will Get Toad Away” (left). Egrets, herons, ospreys, and LEFT PHOTO BY CHELLE KOSTER WALTON BY CHELLE KOSTER LEFT PHOTO a roadside attraction she hasn’t loved. gators are among the natural sights on an Everglades airboat tour (above). With your Old Captiva House Rewards card in hand, you’ll enjoy a 10% discount every time you deliciously dine. You’ll accumulate points with every purchase that you can redeem toward lodging, meals, gifts and more. Plus your Rewards membership entitles you to exclusive dining parties, wine tastings and other goodies. It’s just our way of saying thanks for a job well done. Eating. IMAGINE A RESTAURANT THAT TIPS ITS CUSTOMERS 10% WITH EVERY MEAL. 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