A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS an RD ORIGINAL

JUNE 2014

DAVE BARRY ON TODAY’S MAN From YOU CAN DATE BOYS WHEN YOU’RE FORTY ... 15 WHAT DRIVES SUCCESS IN AMERICA From THE NEW YORK TIMES ... 110 A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS An RD ORIGINAL ... 64

THE LITTLE BOAT THAT SAILED THROUGH TIME An RD CLASSIC ... 44 CONFESSIONS OF A CHEESY TOURIST From THE HUFFINGTON POST ... 48 THE FIFTY CHILDREN THEY SAVED An RD ADAPTATION ... 92

YOU BE THE JUDGE ...... 25 LAUGHTER, THE BEST MEDICINE ...... 76 PHOTO OF LASTING INTEREST ...... 120 WORD POWER ...... 145 QUOTABLE QUOTES ...... 152

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Cover Story 64 A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS Imagine surgeons running out of anesthesia, cancer patients searching for drugs, and doctors scrambling for antibiotics. We’re already there. KATHERINE EBAN

Strangers Who Changed My Life 78 THE FOLKS AT MOE’S DINER A roomful of people I didn’t know taught me about patriotism, gratitude, and love. RU FREEMAN

Drama in Real Life 82 MAN OVERBOARD! A fisherman vanishes one night with little more than his rubber boots and a will to live. P. PAUL TOUGH FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES | 82 Human Interest 92 THE ONES THEY SAVED Two wealthy Americans risked everything to rescue dozens of youngsters from the Nazis. STEVEN PRESSMAN ADAPTED FROM 50 CHILDREN

Pastime 100 ALL I NEED FOR A WALK IS A GOOD BOOK When you read while you wander, your destination may be a surprise. MICHAEL P. BRANCH FROM HIGH COUNTRY NEWS

Medical Drama 104 “I GAVE TWO KIDNEYS” Both her husband and father needed a kidney transplant. Julie Stitt had only one to give. Or MICHELE WOJCIECHOWSKI did she? PHOTOGRAPH BY DAN WINTERS FOR READER’S National Interest DIGEST 110 WHY SOME GROUPS SUCCEED Surprising traits that drive certain people to the top.

DANIEL SHEA DANIEL AMY CHUA & JED RUBENFELD FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

rd.com | 06•2014 | 1 Vol. 183 | No. 1100 JUNE 2014

5 Editor’s Note 6 Letters Everyday Heroes 8 “I Carried Him Down the Mountain” P. | 25 MELODY WARNICK 12 A Lens on Giving ALYSSA JUNG

VOICES & VIEWS

Department of Wit 15 I Am Man: Hear Me Snore Dave Barry’s guide to manliness. FROM YOU CAN DATE BOYS WHEN YOU’RE FORTY

Words of Lasting Interest 20 Looking Out for the Lonely One teacher’s strategy to stop violence at its root. GLENNON DOYLE MELTON READER FAVORITES FROM MOMASTERY.COM

You Be the Judge 18 Life in These United States 25 33 Faces of America The Case of the Prohibited Pooch 34 Points to Ponder Should a tenant with a disability 62 All in a Day’s Work be allowed to break a ban on 76 Laughter, the Best Medicine animals? VICKI GLEMBOCKI 91 That’s Outrageous! 119 Laugh Lines Finish This Sentence 120 Photo of Lasting Interest 28 Maybe I Should … 134 See the World … Differently The RD Interview 145 Word Power 30 Gangsta Gardener 148 RD.com Ron Finley’s garden is not 150 Humor in Uniform extraordinary. What he’s done

152 Quotable Quotes with it is. ANDY SIMMONS NOMA BAR BY ILLUSTRATION

2 | 06•2014 | rd.com ADDITIONAL MEDIA IN OUR TABLET VERSIONS ART OF LIVING WHO KNEW?

37 You’re Doing It Wrong 127 13 Things Home SUNNY SEA GOLD Inspectors Won’t Tell You MICHELLE CROUCH Food 42 Extraordinary Uses for 130 Ingenious Solutions to Ordinary Things: Kitchen Persnickety Problems Gadgets PERRI O. BLUMBERG BETH DREHER Family 138 Just Another Name Fad 44 The Little Boat That TIM URBAN FROM WAITBUTWHY.COM Sailed Through Time ARNOLD BERWICK 140 The Pen Made for the White House Travel DAN LEWIS FROM NOW I KNOW 48 Confession: I Love Being a Cheesy Tourist 142 How to Cast an Ape MATTHEW KEPNES DAMON BERES FROM THE HUFFINGTON POST 50 What’s Your Suitcase Personality? MELISSE HINKLE FROM CHEAPFLIGHTS.COM 52 Addictive Vacation Reads P. | 138 Health 54 How to Bounce Back from a Fatty Meal JOEL K. KAHN, MD 56 The Medication Most Men Don’t Need JOHN LA PUMA, MD FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

58 Your Health Is Written All Over Your Face THE PHYSICIANS OF THE DOCTORS

Contest 122 100-Word True Stories Ten winning tales of love, family, and inspiration—written by RD readers. PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES ADAM BY PHOTOGRAPH

rd.com | 06•2014 | 3

PHOTOGRAPH BY STEVE VACCARIELLO; WARDROBE STYLIST: ELYSHA LENKIN My Most Unforgettable Read Most My than 7,000entries. Theywere ajoy tojudge. 100-word onpage 122.You stories submittedmore like thisone. Andbe sure toread ourwinning owns the season. When you’re 11,anythingthat grown-ups, itforchildren.” thenyouwrite her website. “And betoodifficultfor ifthebookwill the bookthat wants tobewritten,” L’Engle isquoted on was that Icouldunderstandthething:“You have towrite Hey, nothinglessthan thefate oftheuniversewasat stake!Part ofmy joy andthepersonification themesofsocialconformity ofgoodandevil.with minds, amissingfather, a“happy medium,” evenaschoolgirlcrush. It dealt I couldfind.That’s how L’Engle’s sciencefictionfantasy found itsway tome. I haven’t Medalist Newbery acluenow) tofillmy every bikebasketwith work—would takeitsplaceforyears. studyand serious andmusic,pastime. sports—then andboys, Friends TV light andgotosleep!”)By middleschool,reading wouldbelosttomeasa time whenI’ve read abandon.(“Elizabeth, such feverish turnoffthat with days at thepool,my nights inabook.Sadly, there’s neveragain beena A Wrinkle inTime, Go tord.com/juneGo forotherstaffrecollections Maybe that’s why I devoured it. It had afifth-dimensiontesseract, abrother whocouldread But that summer, onTuesdays Ipedaledtothelibrary (why Tuesday I was11,onthecuspofsixthgrade. in theocean.My magical summerwasin1978.That wastheyearIread camp, underaboardwalk, ateenage crush orevenmy girls’ firststeps THE SUMMERIREMEMB Editor’s Note and facebook.com/lizvaccariello [email protected] I invite you to e-mailme at @LizVacc by Madeleine L’Engle. A Wrinkle inTime andfollow meat onTwitter. explosivelyimaginative ER ASMAGICAL stuck with me. stuckwith MTV

didn’t exist yet, soIspent didn’texist my

wasn’t definedby sleepaway 6 inEngland:“Imaginationmissionary asaMormon 1966 whileserving Reader’s Digest I discovered my all-timefavorite to giveus. He hero. isanAmerican David Milarch has givenandcontinues to learnaboutthelastinggiftsthat Giants.” It wassoexcitingandinspiring moved asIwasby “A Man Among and Idon’tremember everbeingas I have read STILL PONDERING SAVIOR OFTREES

06 • 2014 SHARON MITCHELL,

Reader’s Digest | rd.com Point toPonder in COMMENTS ONTHEAPRILISSUE Lubbock, TexasLubbock, for50years, Letters away in state state in away Montgomery would belanguishing lawyer’s dedication,LaDondrell God for smallmiracles: Butfor the Bosses &Politicians”). during therobbery (“Dumb Criminals, conviction, thathisclientwas injail his lawyer discovered, following the was spared alife sentence onlyafter a manconvicted ofarmedrobbery You obviously found itamusingthat NOT SO DUMB NOT SO and cherish thatand cherish scrap ofpaper. to thisday, 30yearslater. Istillhave RD parchment.corrugated Thanks to lighting piecesusingsingle-faced created ofcontemporary aseries home, designand Istudiedindustrial let, andthere itstayed. Afterreturning a scrap ofpaperandputitinmy wal- Bernard Shaw). Iwrote thisdown on create what youwill” (George what youimagine, andat lastyou imagine what youdesire, youwill is thebeginningofcreation. You CRAIG M.MILLER, and Shaw, theseproducts are sold ROLAND SIMMONS, prison. Funny, indeed. Leland, North Carolina Leland, I say thank Cowley, Wyoming Cowley,

PHOTOGRAPH BY DAN ROBERTS SAFETY FIRST nana with two grandsons who suffer I am so thankful that Michelle from this, I find it heartrending to Grainger; her husband, Steve; and watch the ones we love lose mobility. their neighbors were able to survive Thanks to the engineering students the mudslide (“Buried in Mud”). My who helped Nick Torrance open his only concern is that they refused to locker and keep his independence. evacuate when officials asked them CAROL SKONDIN, Eugene, Oregon to and then expected first responders to risk their lives to save them. ARE YOU SITTING DOWN? DARLA SEATON, Omaha, Nebraska The article “Can You Pass the Lon- gevity Test?” cites a study declaring IS FOOD FUNNY? that people unable to perform the Lucky for me, I didn’t read Kelly sitting-rising test are more likely MacLean’s article, “Surviving Whole to die within six years. I’m in my Foods,” in a crowd of strangers—they 50s and decided to try it—the results would have thought I was a lunatic were not impressive. Then I asked for laughing every ten seconds. Her my slender, athletic 13-year-old humor is a burst of sunshine! daughter to attempt the exercise. The KAY HOUGHTON, Payson, Arizona hardest thing I’ve ever done is tell her she probably won’t make it to 20. Shame on Kelly MacLean for making LINDA FLYNN, Overland Park, Kansas light of food restrictions. They are not a laughing matter. My son is EDITOR’S NOTE: Your result on the allergic to wheat and eggs. Yes, it sitting-rising test (“Can You Pass the is expensive, but he has to eat, and Longevity Test?”) is not your health we have our priorities where they destiny. Increasing your risk of death need to be. by more than fivefold sounds enor- BRENDA SMITH, Ethridge, Tennessee mous, but the absolute risk is far from it. For example, people in the study PATH TO INDEPENDENCE who scored between eight and ten had I appreciated your recent article just a 3.6 percent chance of dying in on muscular dystrophy (Everyday the follow-up period. Those scoring Heroes, “A Class in Kindness”). As a three or lower had a 19 percent risk.

Send letters to [email protected] or Letters, Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6100, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1600. Include your full name, address, e-mail, and daytime phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media. Contribute Send us your funny jokes, true stories, and quotes, and if we publish one in a print edition of Reader’s Digest, we’ll pay you $100. To submit, visit readersdigest.com/submit, or write to us at Jokes, Box 6226, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1726. Please include your full name and address in your entry. Do Business Subscriptions, renewals, gifts, address changes, payments, account information, and inquiries: readersdigest.com/help, 877-732-4438, or write to us at Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 7 “I thought he was going to die in front of me,” says Andi Davis. EVERYDAY HEROES

Hiker Andi Davis saves the life of a 50-pound pit bull “I Carried Him Down the Mountain”

BY MELODY WARNICK

THE TRAIL THROUGH the she noticed a dark shape inches Phoenix Mountains Preserve wasn’t from her left foot. She startled, then usually so deserted. Even on her stared. It’s a dog, she said to herself, regular predawn trek, Andi Davis, and it’s dead. She took a moment 49, regularly crossed paths with to realize that the dog’s eyes were a handful of other hikers. On this open. A thin, dirt-caked pit bull was morning, however, she heard only looking at her. coyotes howling among the cacti Instantly, Andi was afraid. She and spiky ocotillos. was a sucker for strays; she, her A half mile in, where the trail husband, Jason, and their ten-year- sloped steeply, Andi used her hands old daughter, Jessica, had three at to clamber up to the highest peak. home. But ever since a pit bull had When she finally reached the summit, attacked her German shepherd ➸

PHOTOGRAPH BY SPENCER HEYFRON rd.com | 06•2014 | 9 EVERYDAY HEROES when she was out walking him one Then the pit bull lifted his head day, she’d been wary of pit bulls. She and tenderly licked Jessica’s cheek. murmured a greeting to show she Once in the backseat, he laid his was friendly. At the sound of her head on Jessica’s lap, and she pulled voice, the pit bull trembled violently. the thorns from his matted coat Andi inched closer and dripped on the way to the Arizona Humane some water into the dog’s mouth. Society. He tried to stand up but then col- Later that morning, an X-ray lapsed. Something was wrong with revealed that a bullet had landed in his left front leg. Andi pulled out her the dog’s shoulder and shattered the phone to contact her husband, but bone, but it was too close to sur- he didn’t respond. Pity overwhelmed rounding blood vessels to be safely her, and she knew that if she didn’t removed. There was a chance, too, carry the dog down the mountain, that the dog would lose his damaged he would die. leg, though the vet thought it might She carefully put her arms under heal on its own. (It did.) the injured dog’s body. He was so A few days later, the Davises weak, “he literally fell into my chest,” returned. Andi reports that “the she says. first thing he did was give me a kiss, Staggering down the steep, rocky then go right to my daughter.” Any mountainside with the 50-pound reservations Andi might have had animal in her arms, Andi repeated, evaporated right there. They named “It’s OK. It’s OK,” more to soothe the dog Elijah and brought him herself than the dog. Would she fall? home that day. Would he bite her? When her arms Since then, “he’s been perfect,” and back started aching, she refused says Andi. He plays happily with to give in to the pain. The trip up had the family’s Boston terrier and taken 30 minutes; going back down jumps into Jessica’s bed to snuggle took twice that. every morning. Elijah’s calm, At home, Andi’s husband finally affectionate nature makes the READER’S DIGEST received her messages. He and Jessica wounding and abandonment on jumped into the car and drove to the mountain inexplicable. “He’s the parking lot. Just as Jason was so sweet. Why would someone pulling up, Andi stumbled into the shoot him?” Andi asks. lot with the dog cradled in her arms. The Davises realize they’ll never “He’s hurt!” Andi warned as her know. They’re just relieved the daughter leaped from the car. “Stay story has had a happy ending. back, and be careful.” Jessica began to Says Jessica, “He was meant to

cry when she saw the dog’s injuries. be ours.” FOR PREVIOUS SPREAD: REDUX

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Friends film good deeds to inspire other kind acts A Lens on Giving

BY ALYSSA JUNG

A $200 TIP for a hotel maid. Free car repairs for the adoptive parents of two special-needs daughters. A $2,000 engagement ring for a cash-strapped college couple. These are just a few of Kyle Orrefice and Josh Gibson’s good deeds that they documented for their video channel, GiveBackFilms, on YouTube. “We can personally help Kyle Orrefice, left, and Josh Gibson only a certain number of people,” started GiveBackFilms in 2013. says Kyle, 18, a high school senior in Atlanta. “But we’re hoping the videos both simple—tipping a hairstylist will start a movement of good deeds.” $100, paying for someone’s gas—and The first video, in which Josh, 25, more involved—buying new clothes films Kyle giving $100 bills to eight and groceries for a homeless couple, homeless people in Salt Lake City, has paying for job-interview training and been viewed more than three million a two-week hotel stay. times. “Instead of giving money, I In January, Kyle brought on bought [the homeless] food,” one Udi’s Gluten-Free Foods to sponsor viewer wrote on the GiveBackFilms three recent actions. The guys online comment thread about his own are now looking for more partners gesture inspired by the guys. “This to help build the buzz about has been one of my dreams,” wrote GiveBackFilms. another. “I want to make enough Kyle says, “We hope people realize money so that I can give back.” [by watching the videos] that the Kyle and Josh post a new video feeling of giving back is better than

each week, showing acts of kindness the feeling of receiving.” GIVEBACKFILMS COURTESY

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Department of Wit I Am Man: Hear Me Snore

BY DAVE BARRY FROM THE BOOK YOU CAN DATE BOYS WHEN YOU’RE FORTY

LIKE MANY MODERN American men, I don’t know how to do anything manly anymore. And by “manly,” I do not mean “physical.” A lot of us do physical things, but these are yuppie fitness things like “spinning” and “crunches” and “working on our core.” These aren’t manly. I’ll tell you who was manly: the early DAVE BARRY American pioneers. Those guys didn’t even know they had is a humorist cores. They set out into the wilderness with nothing but a whose latest musket and a sack of hardtack and hominy, and they had to book, You survive out there for months, even years, completely on their Can Date Boys When own, sleeping on the ground in bear-infested forests. That’s You’re Forty, why they brought hardtack: to throw at the bears. They had is available no idea why they brought hominy. Like you, they had no idea

ILLUSTRATION BY JOE MCKENDRY (BARRY) JOE MCKENDRY BY ILLUSTRATION now. what “hominy” meant. It sounds like some kind of disease. ➸

ILLUSTRATION BY STEVE WACKSMAN rd.com | 06•2014 | 15 DEPARTMENT OF WIT

But the point is, these pioneering be a black box partly covered with men did not do “crunches.” These whitish-greenish fuzz. This is car men crunched the damn continent— leprosy. Do not touch it. blazing trails, fording rivers, building 7. Obtain some jumper cables. log cabins, forging things with forges, 8. Call 911 and let them know there etc. We modern men can’t do any of might be an emergency soon. that. We don’t have the vaguest idea 9. Do this next part very, very care- how to ford a river. We’d check our fully, or you will die. phones to see if we had a fording 10. Connect one end of the red app, and if not, we’d give up, go back jumper cable to the positive terminal home, and work on our cores. (also called the ignition or carburetor) We American men have lost our on your car’s battery. Then connect manhood, and I say it’s time we the other end of the red cable to an got it back. To get us started, I’ve electronic part of the opposing car, created a guide to some basic skills such as the radio. Repeat this process that every man should have. You in the opposite order with the black may rest assured that these instruc- jumper cable. tions are correct. I got them from 11. Try to start your car. If the engine the Internet. explodes into a giant fireball, something is wrong. How to Jump-Start 12. Maybe you should have some- Your Car When body else try to start your car while The Battery Is Dead you go get coffee a minimum of 1. Obtain a working car from some- 150 yards away. where and park it next to your car. 13. If by some miracle your car 2. Or, if the owner isn’t around, you actually starts, do not turn it off ever could just take off in the working car. again. 3. No, that would be wrong. 14. When you drive, be alert for further 4. On both cars, locate the hood, signs of trouble such as flickering which is the big flat piece of metal in headlights, which is an indication of the front with bird poop on it. a problem in your electrical system, 5. Open both hoods. There will be a or a collision with a building, which button or lever inside the car on the is an indication that you forgot to put driver’s side that you need to push the hood back down. or pull, and then a latch somewhere under the front of the hood that you How to Order a Bottle of need to squeeze and release. So your Wine in a Restaurant best bet is to use a crowbar. 1. Look at the wine list and tell the 6. Locate your car’s battery. It will waiter which wine you want.

16 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

2. When the waiter brings it to you, cigarettes, because you are a modern, take a sip. crunch-doing, health-conscious, 3. If it’s OK, say it’s OK. risk-averse individual. 4. Then shut up about the wine. 9. A fat lot of good that’s doing you 5. Don’t talk about the wine now with the wolverines closing in. anymore. 10. Fortunately, there are other ways 6. Nobody gives a damn how much to start a fire. An old Native American you know about wine, OK? trick is to rub two sticks together 7. And above all, don’t keep sloshing rapidly to create friction. the wine around and looking at it as 11. This method has never once, in if it’s magical unicorn blood. human history, resulted in fire. 8. It’s wine, for God’s sake. 12. It’s just one of those things that 9. In an hour it will be urine, same Native Americans enjoy tricking as Bud Light. white people into doing. Like canoe- ing, face painting, and “hominy.” How to Survive if You 13. Since there will be no fire, your Are Lost in a Forest and only hope is to stay up all night Night Is Falling making noises that will keep animals 1. Always remember that the most away. Many wilderness survival ex- important rule of wilderness survival perts advise that you sing “Macarena.” is: Do not panic. 14. If you are still alive in the morn- 2. Granted, there are probably ing, carefully scan the horizon, dangerous wild carnivorous animals noting landmarks—a river, a hill, lurking nearby. a Motel 6 sign, etc. Use these 3. Wolverines, for example. to create a “mental map” of your 4. And venomous snakes. current position. 5. But you must not panic. 15. Keeping all this information in 6. For the love of God, get a grip on mind, calmly, and without panicking, yourself. run in a random direction, throwing 7. Gather flammable wood to make your hands into the air and shout- fire. The best kind of wood in this ing, “I don’t want to die!” situation is the “fire log,” which is 16. If you are anywhere in North easy to identify by its box of six. America, within 20 minutes you 8. Check your pockets to see if will come to a Starbucks. you have matches or a cigarette 17. There you can purchase emer- lighter, which of course you will not. gency scones while the staff calls You would not dream of smoking for help.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 17 Life IN THESE UNITED STATES

“New system: Guess how many jelly beans.”

I WAS ALONE in an elevator when a to see that I weighed 144 pounds. girl stepped in with a phone pressed “Why don’t you just take off to her ear. “I have to go,” she told the that last four?” I joked to the nurse’s person on the other end. “There’s aide as she made a notation on a cute guy standing here.” Before my chart. I could react, she turned to me and A few moments later, my doctor said, “Sorry for lying. I just wanted to came in and flipped through the end that conversation.” Source: fmylife.com chart. “I see you’ve lost weight,” he said. WHEN I STEPPED on the scale at “You’re down to 14 pounds.” my doctor’s office, I was surprised RACHEL WAGNER, Bixby, Oklahoma

18 | 06•2014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY MARY NADLER A HEADLINE in my local newspaper: GRADUATE SCHOOL students “Appleton Airport May Soon Be spend a lot of effort writing their Known as Appleton Airport.” thesis papers, often in arcane, ALLISON NASTOFF, Brookfield, Wisconsin smarty-pants-speak. However, a few deigned to simplify their findings: I THINK I’VE finally decoded the ■ “Some mice lick one foot more, language of sale-a-day websites: and some mice lick the other foot ■ Statement jewelry = large and ugly more; it depends on the mouse.” ■ Lots of personality = odd and ugly (Psychology, McGill University) ■ Cutting-edge = disturbing and ugly ■ “People don’t care what their sub- DEBBIE SKOLNIK, Scarsdale, New York way stop is called, so it’s a good thing I stood outside in the rain and asked MY MOTHER WAS standing on them.” (Urban Studies, University of the bus when she noticed that a Pennsylvania) man holding on to the same pole ■ “A kind of string theory nobody was staring at her. Finally, he said, thought was true is probably not “Excuse me. This is my stop.” true.” (Physics, Brown University) “Well,” she said, “go ahead.” Source: lolmythesis.com “This is my pole,” he said. My mother was confused until he Want to pay off your college loan? You added, “I just bought it at a store to might get $100 by sending us a funny hold up my shower curtain.” From gcfl.net anecdote. Go to page 7 or rd.com/submit.

THAT REMINDS ME OF A JOKE!

FROM THE NEWS: THE LAUGH: A correction in the New York Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a Times: “A column earlier this month French café, revising his draft of about introverts and extroverts Being and Nothingness. He says misquoted the French philosopher to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of Jean-Paul Sartre. The correct quote coffee, please, with no cream.” is ‘Hell is other people,’ not ‘Hell is The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, other people at breakfast.’” monsieur, but we’re out of cream.

Source: poynter.org How about with no milk?”

rd.com | 06•2014 | 19 WORDS OF LASTING INTEREST

One teacher’s strategy to stop violence at its root Looking Out for The Lonely

BY GLENNON DOYLE MELTON FROM MOMASTERY.COM

A FEW WEEKS AGO, I went into my son Chase’s class for tutoring. I’d e-mailed Chase’s teacher one evening and said, “Chase keeps telling me that this stuff you’re sending home is math—but I’m not sure I believe him. Help, please.” She e-mailed right back and said, “No problem! I can tutor Chase after school anytime.” And I said, “No, not him. Me. He gets it. Help me.” GLENNON And that’s how I ended up standing at a chalkboard in an DOYLE empty fifth-grade classroom while Chase’s teacher sat behind MELTON writes the me, using a soothing voice to try to help me understand the popular blog “new way we teach long division.” Luckily for me, I didn’t momastery have to unlearn much because I’d never really understood .com and is the “old way we taught long division.” It took me a solid hour the author to complete one problem, but I could tell that Chase’s teacher of Carry On, Warrior: liked me anyway. She used to work with NASA, so obviously The Power we have a whole lot in common. of Embracing Afterward, we sat for a few minutes and talked about Your Messy, teaching children and what a sacred trust and responsibility Beautiful Life. it is. We agreed that subjects like math and reading are not the most important things that are learned in a classroom. We talked about shaping little hearts to become contributors to a larger community—and we discussed our mutual dream

that those communities might be made up of individuals JOE MCKENDRY BY ILLUSTRATION

20 | 06•2014 | rd.com who are kind and brave above all. in front of her, and studies them. And then she told me this. She looks for patterns. Every Friday afternoon, she asks Who is not getting requested by her students to take out a piece of anyone else? paper and write down the names of Who can’t think of anyone to four children with whom they’d like request? to sit the following week. The children Who never gets noticed enough know that these requests may or may to be nominated? not be honored. She also asks the Who had a million friends last students to nominate one student week and none this week? who they believe has been an You see, Chase’s teacher is not exceptional classroom citizen that looking for a new seating chart or week. All ballots are privately sub- “exceptional citizens.” Chase’s teacher mitted to her. is looking for lonely children. She’s And every single Friday afternoon, looking for children who are strug- after the students go home, she takes gling to connect with other children. out those slips of paper, places them She’s identifying the little ones who

PHOTOGRAPH BY DAN WINTERS rd.com | 06•2014 | 21 WORDS OF LASTING INTEREST are falling through the cracks of the Every single Friday afternoon since class’s social life. She is discovering Columbine. Good Lord. whose gifts are going unnoticed This brilliant woman watched by their peers. And she’s pinning Columbine knowing that all violence down—right away—who’s being bul- begins with disconnection. All outward lied and who is doing the bullying. violence begins as inner loneliness. As a teacher, parent, and lover of She watched that tragedy knowing all children, I think this is the most that children who aren’t being noticed brilliant Love Ninja may eventually resort to strategy I have ever being noticed by any encountered. It’s like means necessary. taking an X-ray of a It’s like taking And so she decided classroom to see an X-ray of a to start fighting violence beneath the surface early and often in the of things and into the classroom to see world within her reach. hearts of students. deep into the What Chase’s teacher It is like mining for is doing when she sits gold—the gold being hearts of in her empty classroom those children who students. studying those lists need a little help, who written with shaky need adults to step in 11-year-old hands is and teach them how to make friends, saving lives. I am convinced of it. how to ask others to play, how to And what this mathematician join a group, or how to share their has learned while using this system gifts. And it’s a bully deterrent is something she really already knew: because every teacher knows that that everything—even love, even bullying usually happens outside her belonging—has a pattern to it. She eyeshot and that often kids being finds the patterns, and through those bullied are too intimidated to share. lists she breaks the codes of discon- But, as she said, the truth comes out nection. Then she gets lonely kids on those safe, private, little sheets the help they need. It’s math to her. of paper. It’s math. As Chase’s teacher explained All is love—even math. Amazing. this simple, ingenious idea, I stared Chase’s teacher retires this year. at her with my mouth hanging open. What a way to spend a life: looking “How long have you been using this for patterns of love and loneliness. system?” I said. Stepping in, every single day, and Ever since Columbine, she said. altering the trajectory of our world.

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Should a tenant with a disability be allowed to break a ban on animals? The Case Of the Prohibited Pooch

BY VICKI GLEMBOCKI

BY NOVEMBER 2000, six months reasoned, If I had a dog, I would after Joyce Grad had moved into have to go outside for walks. But the Royalwood Cooperative Apartments co-op board had a no-pet policy. in Royal Oak, Michigan, she was Grad wrote to the board, asking getting anxious about her seasonal it to waive the policy and allow her descent into depression. “It always to have a small dog. Grad stated that gets worse in winter,” says the now-64- according to the Fair Housing Act, year-old, who describes her feelings “it is unlawful discrimination to deny at that time as “suicidal.” She adds, “I a person with a disability ‘a reason- was watching the leaves fall and think- able accommodation of an existing ing, I don’t think I can do this.” building rule or policy if such accom- Grad had been living alone on modation may be necessary to afford Social Security disability for years such person full enjoyment of the due to bipolar disorder, causing premises.’” severe depression that prevented her She included letters from her from working. Sometimes it was so psychiatrist and psychologist stating bad, she could barely get out of bed. that a dog would help with her Worried about her inactivity, she “debilitating depressive disorder.” ➸

ILLUSTRATION BY NOMA BAR rd.com | 06•2014 | 25 YOU BE THE JUDGE

But the board rejected Grad’s investigated and, in August 2003, request. filed a civil complaint against Two months later, Grad moved Royalwood, claiming that it had, to an apartment in a building a few in fact, discriminated against Grad miles from Royalwood that allowed and violated the Fair Housing Act. pets, and she acquired a ten-pound “The legal question was whether gray poodle from a family in the the requested accommodation neighborhood. Grad named the dog would have lessened the effect Lady and trained the poodle to coax of the disability,” explains Grad’s her out of bed in the morning and attorney, Gabrielle Frampton. to take her home if she was out and “Would the dog have helped? experienced a panic attack. Or would it have just been a pet?” About ten months after leaving Royalwood, Grad filed a complaint Did Royalwood Cooperative against the apartment complex with Apartments discriminate against the U.S. Department of Housing and Joyce Grad by not waiving its no-pet Urban Development (HUD). HUD policy? You be the judge.

THE VERDICT

Instead of having HUD settle the matter, Royalwood opted to let a federal jury decide. In February 2005, in the U.S. District Court in Detroit, Royalwood’s attorney, Patrick Rode, argued that the defendants didn’t “believe” Grad was disabled. One co-op board member testified, “We all observed her walking around the property happy as a lark, very friendly, very gregarious. What disability?” The defendants also claimed there wasn’t enough evidence to prove that a service animal would lessen the impact of Grad’s alleged disability, as it would for, say, a blind person. “The dog is nothing more than a pet that need not be accommodated,” explained Rode. “They were so completely rigid,” says Frampton, Grad’s attorney. “It was mind-boggling.” In the end, the jury ruled for Grad—the first federal verdict that recognized mental illness as a disability under the Fair Housing Act. Grad was awarded $14,209 in actual damages and settled with the defendants for additional punitive damages.

Agree? Disagree? Sound off at rd.com/judge.

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a UnitedHealth Group company 1-888-547-1506 FINISH THIS SENTENCE Maybe I should…

Christmas …praise Valley, OR more people Boise, ID for what they did right rather than point out what they did wrong. ANNETTE KRAUSE

…have built the outhouse first. …take my MARK JOSEPH RUSSELL parents out to dinner in gratitude for all the dinners they provided for me and Las Vegas, NV my seven siblings. REBECCA BODMAN

San Diego, CA …pray …get a more. massage LUPITA ESPINOSA …do less Facebook instead of just giving them. and do more MARIA JAMES “face in a book.” CESAR DINGLE

Laredo, TX

28 | 06•2014 | rd.com …dance in the moonlight more than once a year. …see a BOBBI FEINAUER psychiatrist. COMBS SHANNON LEE

…ignore the insults and remember the …marry compliments. my best friend. RITA TRULINOS JON WILCOXSON

York, PA Mason City, IL Goshen, IN Cincinnati, OH

St. Elmo, IL Dublin, VA Taylorsville, …stop KY trying to sing. …accept MARY WARD that I will recover from my car accident in God’s …write a letter asking time, not my time. Oklahoma City, OK Billy Joel AUTUMN DUNCAN if he would like to compose songs with me. What’s the worst that can happen? And he might say yes. KRISTINE B. MCANELLY

Jacksonville, FL

Go to facebook …keep my .com/readersdigest mouth shut for the chance to finish the next sentence. more often. SUMMER HUGHES

rd.com | 06•2014 | 29 THE RD INTERVIEW

Ron Finley’s garden is not extraordinary. What he’s done with it is. Gangsta Gardener

BY ANDY SIMMONS

A FASHION DESIGNER by profession, Ron Finley found his true calling when he tried to buy fresh fruit and vegetables in his South Central Los Angeles neighborhood— and walked away empty-handed. He had his pick of unhealthy fast-food outlets, but a store where he could buy a decent apple? No luck. So in 2010, on a 150-by- 10-foot curbside median outside his home, Finley planted mustard greens, carrots, banana and tangerine trees, and more. Friends and strangers came by to gawk, and Finley told them to help themselves. For many, it was the first fresh produce they’d eaten in years. Fin- ley taught

30 | 06•2014 | rd.com neighbors how to grow their own How does it work? You and a team gardens. Then he gave a speech that go to people’s homes, to church- was posted online and went viral, yards, to schools, and start digging? reaching an audience outside Los What I do is show people how to be Angeles. Now he’s traveling the world self-sufficient. But am I gonna do it to spread the gospel and is planning for you? No! I’m a gangsta gardener, a string of health food restaurants in not a guerrilla gardener. I don’t come underserved areas. “I put a seed in at midnight, plant, and leave. To the ground in South Central,” he tells me, there has to be ownership. If Reader’s Digest, “and next thing you I’m planting something, I want it know, I’m in Qatar.” maintained.

Tell me why you call yourself the Why are you doing all of this? gangsta gardener. I’m trying to repair a dysfunctional If you’re gardening, you’re a gangsta. system of food “prisons” around the I don’t care if you’re a 70-year-old United States. I call them food pris- mom in Maine or a four-year-old ons, not food deserts, because to find in South Central. Gardening is healthy food in poor areas, you’ve gangsta. Drugs, robbing—that’s got to escape them. We’re impris- not gangsta. Building community— oned by bad choices, which result in that’s gangsta. I’m changing the real harm. Here in Los Angeles, I’ve vernacular. If we have to have gang heard of grade school kids having wars, I want them over who has heart attacks. I’ll repeat that: Kids the biggest zucchini. are having heart attacks! And it’s not for lack of food; it’s just the opposite. Were you always a gardener? We’re all gardeners. Think about it: So it’s the quality of the food? The first job ever on this planet was I call it unfood food. A lot of what gardening. God said to Adam, “Hey, is available for poor kids to eat is dude, take care of my garden.” Eve, made in a lab. Have you seen the she had the fig leaf and the snake, Hot Cheetos and Taquitos videos? and then God told Adam, “OK, don’t Kids are watching a video about a mess with that.” But the guy didn’t snack food. It’s got a fast beat and listen, so now we have plastic. You high production values. That’s what don’t remember that story? [Laughs] we’re up against. That’s not food! But there are few alternatives. Gardens I think we have different Bibles. are a way for people to get back to That’s Genesis. We all came from the earth and design their life and gardens. their realities. It all starts with food.

ILLUSTRATION BY AGATA MARSZALEK rd.com | 06•2014 | 31 THE RD INTERVIEW

Why do you call gardening a defiant act? We’re taking our health into our own hands. We’re refusing to rely on big agriculture and fast food. That’s defiance.

Share a moment when you thought, This is why my work matters. A kid sent me pictures of his “front-yard gro- All you need is seeds, soil, sun, and a dream: cery store.” He plants Ron Finley at work in his curbside vegetable garden. vegetables on his lawn and median and gives What if their reality is that they them to neighbors. I got a letter from really love McDonald’s? a guy who passed by an empty lot So be it. But for many people, if they and thought, When will somebody haven’t seen it, they can’t dream it. fix this eyesore? Then he watched me I want to show them healthy choices. in a garden and realized he was that somebody. That’s why I want my How will you convince them to gardens to face the street—to show eat their vegetables? people they can do this. It’s not magic. If kids grow kale, kids eat kale. If they It should be like air. Who thinks about grow tomatoes, they eat tomatoes. air? Nobody. I want growing our food Because now they’ve physically to get the disrespect that air gets. engaged in the creation of life, of something that will sustain their At Reader’s Digest, we often finish health. When you grow a plant, you interviews by asking people about realize, Wow, a seed gave me this. their favorite word. What’s yours? Ecolutionary. When you plant a What’s your least favorite vegetable? garden, you’re not just feeding It used to be Brussels sprouts, until people. You’re healing the planet, I knew how to cook them. Now I the soil, and yourself, all at the same admire them. When I talk to people time. Right now I think we need about their gardens, I say, “Plant what more ecolutionaries. We need more you like, plant what you eat, and then gangsta gardeners. We need more

add to your palate.” people feeding Mother Earth. BERL/REDUX EMILY

32 | 06•2014 | rd.com FACES OF AMERICA Kevin Deiter & Family LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA BY GLENN GLASSER “If we can get all 13 of them to adulthood without any major issues, it would probably be beating the odds, but I think we’re on the right track. Plus, it’s pretty hard to get away with anything; there are too many people around to catch you!”

rd.com | 06•2014 | 33 extraordinary—that isinspiring. at hisdisposaltodosomething resourcewho has usedevery But agreat human being—ahuman is more than youcouldeverbe. A godisanenviable creature who in life. is oneofthegreat experiences a sibling.Beingread toasachild read toasachildby aparent or tore-createtrying thejoy ofbeing who are addictedtoreading are I HAVE ATHEORY THAT ISINSPIRED NOBODY Points to to Ponder Points magician, by agod. poet, people people BILLY COLLINS, don’t laugh. thing—people laugh orthey comedy. Comedy issuchaclear academics getaholdof I’m al

in Paris Review Daily Beast TELLER, ways v ways

culture’s versionoffoot-binding. health, notlooks, butbraces are our sayPeople will that braces are for suchasbraces,dentistry, isroutine. lend ahelpinghand: Cosmetic to avoid ugliness, andmany [will] on usfor selfishness. behard will History chronic andendemic leaders: be thethingweacceptedinour our era, andthebiggestscandalwill SOMEDAY HISTORY WILLWRITE PARENTS STILLWANT

ery fearful when ery fearful when

philosophy andhumanities lecturer, Sign up for adaily Points upfor toPonderSign that. Saturday Night Live columnist, e-mail at rd.com/ptp.

in the theirchildren JONNY THAKKAR, in LORNE MICHAELS, PEGGY NOONAN, New York Wall StreetJournal cocreator, magazine in of Aeon

SCOTT MCDERMOTT/CORBIS FROM TOP: ALESSANDRA BENEDETTI/CORBIS. BRYAN BEDDER/GETTY IMAGES and tellourstories. a soul.It’s away toexpress ourselves to stop being your true lazyself.to stopbeingyourtrue who are You themostdriven. work I actuallybelieveit’s thelazypeople happy.day But long,Iwouldbevery person. IfIdidn’tdoanythingall FASHION, INTHERIGHTHANDS, I AMINTRINSICALLY The “digital highway” for salvation orhope. with peoplewhoare and women looking position. We’ve actually had often hurting,men is astreet teeming “female secretary ofstate.” The day hasto come when chef, three women secretaries of state, andpeople still it’s notasurprisethat woman hasapowerful

POPE FRANCIS, in the [feel the needto] say Mail onSunday Event Magazine GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN, former secretary ofstate, secretary former a terribly lazy aterribly NIGELLA LAWSON, in aspeech writer, CONDOLEEZZA RICE, has has

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These seven mind tricks tend to backfire You’re Doing It Wrong BY SUNNY SEA GOLD

ILLUSTRATION BY HELEN FRIEL rd.com | 06•2014 | 37 YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG

Making Direct Eye Contact had less detailed memories of the We’ve been told that looking some- works. “It’s as if when we click the one in the eye conveys honesty, but button to take the photo, we think, if you’re trying to persuade a friend Done, next thing …, and don’t to try, say, skydiving, avert your gaze. engage in the kind of processing In a recent study, researchers used that would enhance memory,” says eye-tracking technology to discover lead author Linda Henkel, Fairfield that subjects were less influenced by University professor of psychology. speakers who maintained the most eye contact, which seemed to work Saying “I” a Lot only when the audience already You might assume that people who agreed with the speaker. “Eye contact say I have healthy self-esteem. But can signal very different kinds of researchers at the University of Texas messages, ranging from attraction at Austin recently did five separate and interest to aggression and a conversation and e-mail studies and desire to intimidate someone,” says found that frequent I users are less lead study author Frances Chen, sure of themselves than those who assistant professor of psychology at use the word infrequently. The the University of British Columbia. explanation: “Pronouns [I, you, we …] To predict the reaction, consider reflect where we are really paying your audience and the tenor of the attention,” says study author and conversation: In friendly situations, University of Texas professor of eye contact can connect people. In psychology James Pennebaker. adversarial moments, it could be I users may be looking inward associated with dominance. because they are self-conscious, insecure, or worried about pleasing Instagramming Your Life people. Instead, more secure folks, Snapping photos to preserve who say you more often, direct most memories can actually get in the of their attention to the outside way of experiencing those moments world and look for positive feedback. fully and reduce your recall, new research from Fairfield University Planning a Healthy Diet in Connecticut found. In the study, A recent analysis of 50 studies found people in a museum were asked to that thinking too hard about what to take note of certain objects, either eat can undermine your goals. The by photographing them or just more we consider our choices, the observing. The next day, the photo easier it gets to come up with rea- takers were less able to recognize the sons why we “deserve” to stray from art pieces they’d been assigned and our plan, says study author Jessie

38 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST de Witt Huberts, a doctoral student heightened optimism.” In other and psychology researcher at Utrecht words, when you remember holding University in the Netherlands. hands with the cool kid at that “Regarding food and fitness, people’s middle school roller rink party, you good intentions for the future seem feel good about the past, better to have a detrimental effect on their about yourself in the present, and eating behavior in the present,” she then hopeful about the future. says. “People are more likely to eat unhealthy snacks now Creating Mood if they intend to go to Lighting the gym later that day.” If you dim the lights to What works best? Seemingly heighten romance—or Commit to a routine logical boost your attractive- that easily suits your life ness—you could be (like eating the same behaviors can in for a bland evening. healthy breakfast every sometimes Cranking up the lights day or walking home work against increases the intensity from work) and stick of any situation and to it, with as little you. all kinds of emotions— thought or variation both positive and as possible. negative—scientists at the University of Living in the Present Toronto Scarborough and North- Conventional wisdom says that western University recently found. you shouldn’t dwell in the past. People participated in a series of But a study from the University different experiments, which in- of Southampton in the United cluded tasting chicken-wing sauces Kingdom recently found that feeling ranked from mild to hot, reacting to nostalgic and reminiscing about negative and positive words, and long-ago events can increase opti- judging women’s attractiveness, mism about the future. How are while in either a brightly or a dimly the past and future related in our lit room. Subjects in the brighter minds? Nostalgic memories make us room chose spicier sauce, reacted feel more connected to other people, more negatively or positively to the explains lead study author Wing-Yee loaded words, and found the women Cheung: “In our studies, we found considerably more attractive than that nostalgia first fostered social did those in the dimmer rooms. connectedness, which subsequently Although the precise mechanism lifted self-esteem, which then isn’t known, Alison Jing Xu, assistant

rd.com | 06•2014 | 39 YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG professor of management at the study found that when it’s applied University of Toronto Scarborough, to situations that can be changed, says bright light may affect our emo- you can end up feeling more stress tional system because we naturally and depression. Why? Because it perceive it as heat, which is known could prevent people from taking to heighten our emotions. action to fix a problem, says Allison Troy, assistant professor of Making Lemonade out psychology at Franklin & Marshall Of Lemons College in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. One skill that many happy Imagine your relationship is on people have honed is “cognitive the rocks in part because of your reappraisal”—the ability to reframe irresponsible spending. If using our thoughts about a situation cognitive reappraisal makes you feel to help ourselves feel better. This like what you’re doing isn’t wrong, tends to work great in certain you may be less likely to learn to scenarios where you have little live within your budget. Take self- control over the outcome of the soothing too far and it could events at hand. However, a recent become destructive.

THERE ARE TWO …

… things you can count on in life: your ﬁngers and an abacus.

SAM GRITTNER

… types of trains: the one you just missed and the one that never comes.

ABBI CRUTCHFIELD

… reasons for doing anything: a good reason and a real reason.

J. P. MORGAN

… types of public speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

MARK TWAIN

… phases in life: the one where racecar is your favorite palindrome and the one where Xanax is.

PATRICK RYAN

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Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things Kitchen Gadgets BY PERRI O. BLUMBERG

■ JUICE A LEMON WITH A ■ TENDERIZE MEAT WITH A MICROWAVE Zap a lemon for ten SKILLET Wrap meat in plastic wrap seconds to break down cells and and pound it with a skillet. (Goodbye, make the juice flow faster. This is stress!) KENAN HILL, chef with peachdish.com good to remember when trying to squeeze out as much juice as possi- ■ EMPLOY A BOX GRATER TO ble for a vinaigrette. PUREE TOMATOES Place a plate LAURENT TOURONDEL, chef and partner under a box grater. With the stem end at Arlington Club in New York City of a tomato in your palm, grate against the widest holes, rotating the fruit in a ■ ROLL DOUGH WITH A WINE circular motion. The puree falls on the BOTTLE If you don’t have a rolling plate, while the skin and tomato belly pin, remove the label from an button stay in your hand. empty, clean wine or liquor bottle ANDREW ZIMMERN, chef and host of and fill the bottle with cold water. Travel Channel’s Bizarre Foods America Try this with dough for biscuits, piecrusts, and tarts. ■ MAKE FLUFFY COUSCOUS IN DAMIAN SANSONETTI, A BAKING DISH Add a thin layer chef and owner of Piccolo in Portland, Maine of couscous to the bottom of a large baking dish, pour in boiling ■ GREASE PANS WITH A SAND- water, and leave the dish on the WICH BAG Keep your hand clean by countertop, covered, for five min- putting it inside a plastic sandwich utes. The pasta won’t get weighed bag and then scooping up butter. After down like it does in a pot, so it will greasing a pan, just invert the plastic come out perfectly soft. bag and toss. PAMELA GIUSTO-SORRELLS, NADIA GIOSIA, host of Cooking Channel’s founder and CEO of Pamela’s Products Nadia G’s Bitchin’ Kitchen

42 | 06•2014 | rd.com ■ BEFRIEND KITCHEN TONGS ■ PIT CHERRIES WITH A BENT AS BOTTLE OPENERS Quickly FORK Use pliers to bend forward twist open a bottle of beer the two outer prongs of a four-prong by clamping tongs around fork and to slightly bend forward the a stubborn cap. center prongs. Pierce the cherry MATT LAMBERT, executive chef with the center prongs and press and owner of the Musket Room in down to extract the pit. New York City DOMINIQUE ANSEL, chef at Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York City ■ MINCE GARLIC WITH A CAN If you ■ SHRED BUTTER FOR BETTER don’t have a garlic BAKING A cheese grater makes press, wrap peeled garlic quick work of piecrusts and cloves (and other spices, if biscuits. Instead of cutting desired) in tinfoil, and smash the butter into the flour, simply them with a can from the pantry. grate a stick of frozen butter, CALVIN HARRIS, and then toss the shreds with chef and curator of Self Healthy Kitchen flour until a crumbly mixture forms. BETH MONCEL, ■ BAKE OMELETS IN A creator of budgetbytes.com MUFFIN TIN Coat the tin with cooking spray. Fill ■ USE FREEZER BAGS each cup with one beaten FOR MESS-FREE egg, top with desired ingre- BREADING Put flour dients, and bake at 350°F in one bag, beaten eggs for about 20 minutes. This is in a second, and bread a great way to make personal- crumbs in a third. Dip ized omelets for big groups or foods like shrimp and a batch of reheatable to-go chicken into each bag—then breakfasts. ADRIANE AND CLAUDIA KISS toss into a fourth bag, close, (aka the Kissters), contributors to celebrations.com and shake. CHEF JOHNNY PREP, creator of johnnyprep.net ■ DRAIN WITH A BAKING RACK No strainer? Use a wire rack with a ■ GRILL WITH A PIE TIN grid-like pattern. Empty pots and To create a makeshift smoker, pans through the rack for perfectly place damp wood chips in a pie strained veggies, potatoes, and pastas. tin, and set it over hot coals.

TOM COSTELLO, executive chef at ELLIOT LOPEZ, executive chef of NYY Steak’s stadium and New York City locations PROP STYLIST: JANINE IVERSEN JANINE PROP STYLIST: Thyme Restaurant in Yorktown Heights, New York

PHOTOGRAPH BY CLAIRE BENOIST rd.com | 06•2014 | 43 FAMILY

The Little Boat That Sailed Through Time

BY ARNOLD BERWICK

I SPENT THE tenth summer and grew and stored potatoes. of my childhood, the most memora- He had to produce enough in the ble months of my life, in western short summer to carry the family Norway at the mountain farm where and the animals through the long, my mother was born. What remains snowbound winter. He stopped only most vivid in my mind are the times long enough to eat and to sleep a I shared with my grandfather Jørgen. few winks. The first thing I noticed about And yet he found time for just Grandfather was his thick, bushy the two of us. One day after a trip mustache and broad shoulders. to a faraway town, he handed me a The second thing was how he could knife and sheath, saying, “These are work. All summer I watched him. for you. Now watch.” He mowed grass with wide sweeps He slipped his own knife from its of the scythe, raked it up, and hung sheath, cut a thin, succulent branch it on racks to dry. Later he gathered from a tree, and sat down beside the hay in bundles tied with a rope me. With callused hands, he showed and carried them on his back, one me how to make a flute. Even today, after another, to the barn. 63 years later, whenever I hear the He sharpened the scythes on pure notes of a flute, I think of how a grindstone, slaughtered a pig, he made music from nothing but a caught and salted fish, ground thin branch of a tree. Living on an barley in a water-driven gristmill, isolated mountain farm, far from

44 | 06•2014 | rd.com neighbors and stores, he had to Grandfather picked up a block make do with what he had. of wood, about 18 inches long. “The As an American, I always thought boat is in there,” he said. “You can people simply bought whatever they bring it out.” Then he handed me needed. Whether Grandfather knew a razor-sharp ax. this, I don’t know. But it seems he I wasn’t sure what to do, so Grand- wanted to teach me something father showed me how to handle because one day, he said, “Come. the tool. I started to chop away to I have something for you.” shape the bow. Later, after he taught I followed him into the basement, me the proper use of the hammer and where he led me to a workbench by chisel, I began to hollow out the hull. a window. “You should have a toy Often Grandfather joined me boat. You can sail it at Storvassdal,” in the basement, repairing wooden he said, referring to a small lake rakes or sharpening tools. He a few miles from the house. answered my questions and made Swell, I thought, looking around suggestions, but he saw to it that

PROP STYLIST: ROBIN FINLAY PROP STYLIST: for the boat. But there was none. I did all the work myself.

PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES rd.com | 06•2014 | 45 FAMILY

“It’ll be a fine boat, and you’ll be my little boat pushing its way over making it all with your own hands,” the ripples. I imagined a ship bravely he said. “No one can give you what fighting a turbulent sea. Then the you do for yourself.” The words rang sun came out, and all was well again. in my head as I worked. A crisis developed when we were Finally, I finished the hull and ready to return to America. “You made a mast and sail. The boat cannot bring that boat home with wasn’t much to look at, but I was you,” my mother said. We already proud of what I had built. had too much baggage. Then, with my creation, I headed I pleaded, but to no avail. for Storvassdal. Climbing the moun- With a saddened heart, I went to tain slope, I entered the Storvassdal for the last woods and followed a time, found that large steep path. I crossed “No one can give boulder, placed my boat tiny streams, trod on in a hollow space under spongy moss, and as- you what you do its base, piled stones to cended slippery stone for yourself.” hide it, and resolved steps—higher, higher, to return one day to until I was above the The words rang recover my treasure. timberline. After four or in my head as I said goodbye to my five miles, I came at last grandfather, not know- to a small lake that had I worked. ing I would never see been carved out by a him again. “Farewell,” glacier. Its sloping sides were covered he said as he clasped my hand tightly. with stones of all shapes and sizes. In the summer of 1964, I went to I launched my boat and day- Norway with my parents and my wife dreamed while a slight breeze and children. One day, I left the carried the little craft to an opposite family farmhouse and hiked up to shore. The air was crisp and clean. Storvassdal, looking for the large There was no sound but the warble boulder. There were plenty around. of a bird. My search seemed hopeless. I would return to the lake many I was about to give up when I saw times to sail my boat. One day, a pile of small stones jammed under dark clouds came in, burst open, a boulder. I slowly removed them and poured sheets of rain. I pressed and reached into the hollow space myself against a large boulder and beneath the boulder. My hand felt its captured warmth. I thought of touched something that moved. I “Rock of Ages” (“ ... let me hide my- pulled the boat out and held it in self in thee”). Through the rain, I saw my hands. For 34 years, it had been

46 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST resting there, waiting for my return. so little to work with, while my The rough, bare-wood hull and mast granddaughters have so much. were hardly touched by age; only the Usually the things we dream of, cloth sail had disintegrated. then work and struggle for, are what I shall never forget that moment. As we value most. Have my grand- I cradled the boat, I felt my grandfa- daughters, blessed with abundance, ther’s presence. He had died 22 years been denied life’s real pleasures? before, and yet he was there. We three Working tirelessly on that isolated were together again—Grandfather farm, my grandfather taught me that and I and the little boat, the tangible we should accept and be grateful for link that bound us together. what we have—whether it be much I brought the boat back to the farm or little. We must bear the burdens for the others to see and carved 1930 and relish the joys. There is so much and 1964 on its side. Someone sug- we cannot control, but we must try to gested I take it home to America. make things better when we are able. “No,” I said. “Its home is under that We must depend on ourselves to boulder at Storvassdal.” I took it back make our own way as best we can. to its resting place. Growing up in a comfortable I returned to the lake in 1968, 1971, suburban home, my granddaughters 1977, and 1988. Each time as I held have been presented with a different the little boat and carved the year on situation. But I hope—I believe—they its side, my grandfather seemed near. will in their own way be able to cope My last trip to Storvassdal as well as my grandfather was in 1991. This time, I AN RD CLASSIC coped and learn the lesson brought two of my grand- my grand father taught me all daughters from America: those years ago. On the day Catherine, 13, and Claire, 12. I took them to Storvassdal, I As we climbed the mountain, hoped they would somehow I thought of my grandfather understand the importance and compared his life with of the little boat and its sim- that of my granddaughters. ple message of self-reliance. Catherine and Claire are High in the mountain, I made of the same stuff as Reader’s Digest hesitated to speak lest I dis- first published their ancestors. this article turb our tranquillity. Then They are determined and in May 1993. Claire broke my reverie as independent—I see it in the Arnold Berwick she said softly, “Grandpa, way they carry themselves at passed away someday I’ll come back.” in December work and play. And yet my 2013, at She paused. “And I’ll bring grandfather seemed to have the age of 93. my children.”

rd.com | 06•2014 | 47 TRAVEL

Confession: I Love Being A Cheesy Tourist

BY MATTHEW KEPNES FROM THE HUFFINGTON POST

HERE’S A SECRET: As much while you listen to the band cover as I love getting off the beaten path Bob Marley for the umpteenth time. and learning about local cultures, sometimes I adore the artificial Walt Disney World world that the mainstream travel I love the rides, drinking my way industry has created. Many people around the world in Epcot Center, think every moment on the road has the haunted house, Space Mountain, to have profound impact and meaning. But sometimes you just need to take attractions and experiences for what they are: crowded, overrated, commercialized, mind-numbing, and enjoyable escapes. Cruises Last year, I went on a cruise simply to relax and decompress. There was nothing authentic about Royal Carib- bean’s “private beach” in Haiti or the dance parties on the boat, but gosh, was it fun. Be- cause sometimes life is about just sitting by the pool with a piña colada

48 | 06•2014 | rd.com and just feeling like a kid again— The Great Barrier Reef which I guess is the whole point at Yes, I’m daring to call this overrated. Disney. There’s nothing wrong with The snorkeling or diving you’ll do on simply enjoying yourself in a make- day trips suffers from large crowds believe fantasyland for a bit. and tons of overfishing. There are far better dive spots in Australia. Regard- The Louvre less, get ready to grab your goggles. This is one of the most famous, You may be sharing your view of crowded, and popular museums in Nemo with 50 other people, but who the entire world. Sure, walking cares? It’s the Great Barrier Reef! You through it is like walking through a can see this thing from space! packed subway station during rush hour, but heck, it’s the Louvre. Why Times Square miss out? Even if the Mona Lisa is I live in New York City, and yet the most overrated painting on the it’s not often that I visit this iconic entire planet, you have to see it. tourist spot. Times Square is jammed with visitors and completely com- Venice, Italy mercialized. However, it’s home to This beautiful city feels like a carica- Broadway, you can watch all kinds ture of itself. That said, getting lost in of interesting street performers, the that endless maze of tiny streets is massive M&M’s store is seriously a fun, the city provides a beautiful piece of heaven on earth, and sitting backdrop for romance, and even on top of the red stairs in Father though a gondola ride is 100 euros, Duffy Square is the perfect way you only live once, right? to watch it all happen.

REAL HEAD-SCRATCHING HEADLINES

Q When British politician Michael Foot was put in charge of a nuclear-disarmament committee, the Times wrote: “Foot Heads Arms Body”

Q When tightrope walkers in Seoul traversed the river Han, the Washington Post wrote: “Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo”

Q When former astronauts voiced support for interplanetary

PROP STYLIST: JANINE IVERSEN JANINE PROP STYLIST: treks, NBC News wrote: “Boosters Flare in Space Debate”

PHOTOGRAPH BY CLAIRE BENOIST rd.com | 06•2014 | 49 TRAVEL

What’s Your Suitcase Personality?

BY MELISSE HINKLE FROM CHEAPFLIGHTS.COM

■ THE HOLY ROLLER practical, and very minimalist, they Backed by the rolling method’s super- make the most of a small amount of serious following and tried-and-true mix-and-match, versatile clothing. reputation, practitioners religiously roll until all those clothing coils are ■ THE HACKER PACKER tucked in tight. Proponents might not This savvy traveler seeks out and be trendsetters, but they keep rolling, employs every trick in the book: because if it ain’t broke, why fix it? plastic wrap over bottles so they won’t leak, socks and underwear ■ THE OVER-PACKER stuffed inside shoes, necklaces This packer’s mind is full of what-ifs: strung through straws to avoid What if I go horseback riding? What tangles. They love being in the if we go out to fancy dinners eight know, and packing hacks are their nights in a row? Over-packers want specialty. options. Even when they think they’ve weeded out every last unnecessary ■ THE 11TH-HOUR PACKER item, they still have to sit on their No organized piles or itemized lists bag to zip it up. here. This packer is a whirlwind, running around at, well, the 11th ■ THE CARRY-ON CONNOISSEUR hour, throwing almost anything and Checked bags (and their fees) are for everything into a suitcase. The end the birds—that’s the connoisseur’s result could be wonderful or utterly mantra. For this breed, it’s all about disastrous, but this power packer is

planning ahead. Organized, always just daring enough to find out. IVERSEN JANINE PROP STYLIST:

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We love Reader’s Digest readers! Place your deposit on any Perillo Tour by July 31, 2014 and get $100 off per person if you mention Promo Code: RD14. (only valid for new bookings) Addictive Vacation Reads Vacation Addictive TRAVEL 52 survive during World during survive War II. to in occupiedFrance as bothtry boy. Theirpaths a German collide a blindFrench girl,andWerner, Marie-Laure,two youngcharacters: weaves anemotional talearound authorfrom Prize–winning theStory by SuMeck eccentric sonof an outlandish, Clark Rockefeller, with friendship chronicles his15-year The famedwriter y for getaway Is losingyourself inagood booktheultimate Will Out reclaim alostidentity. love andtoattempt to relearn how toliveand reveals what it’s liketo Thistale her memory. thatbrain injury erased mother oftwo, suffered atraumatic See TRUE CRIME MEMOIR NOVEL

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PHOTOGRAPH BY DAN ROBERTS “Each of us has the power to add years to our lives – it’s never too late.”

-Joel K. Kahn, MD Preventive Cardiologist Clinical Professor of Medicine, Wayne State University Medical School

Treat and help prevent the eff ects of heart disease with the expertise of Dr. Kahn, America’s Holistic Heart Doc and Reader’s Digest columnist.

His 78 simple lifestyle prescriptions blend traditional and natural therapies to strengthen your heart and enhance your doctor’s treatment plan.

PREVIEW IT FREE AT HolisticHeart.com HEALTH From aFatty Meal Back Bounce to How BY JOELK.KAHN, MD 54 Holistic HeartDoc Professionals. Healthcare Michigan wellness at of cardiac and thedirector University Wayne State medicine at professor of MD, KAHN,JOEL K.

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06 • 2014

splurge meal less toxic toyourarteries.splurge meallesstoxic time.folks won’tgiveupgrill Theadvicebelow canmake a better iftheyate more vegetablesandlessmeat, Iknow most wouldfarereducing bloodflow. WhileIbelieveeveryone High-fat forhours,little nervous. arteries mealscanconstrict or wheat cereal with a high-fat meal, their arteries didn’t or wheat cereal didn’t ahigh-fat meal,theirarteries with In aYale Universitystudy,whenpeople ate bowls ofoats benefits from grape juice. effects onparticipants’ arteries. Anotherstudyshowed similar red aday wine toahigh-fat dietreduced themeals’ negative Chilean researchers foundthat addingabouteight ouncesof called advancedglycation endproducts ( Cooking meat at high temperatures creates compounds ■ ■ ■ moist at lower temperatures, andpickoffcharred corners. increase inflammation ofdiabetes. andtherisk To minimize AGE rd.com PAD PATTIES WITHHEALTHY GRAINS SIP REDWINE MARINATE YOUR MEAT exposure, marinate meat inlemonjuice orvinegar, it grill SUMMER BARBECUE SEASON SUMMER BARBECUE makes uscardiologists a AGE s), which s), which

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FILE UNDER “MAKE YOUR OWN”

I’m a great believer in luck, and I ﬁnd the harder I work, the more I have of it.

PROP STYLIST: ROBIN FINLAY PROP STYLIST: THOMAS JEFFERSON

PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES rd.com | 06•2014 | 55 HEALTH

The Medication Most Men Don’t Need

BY JOHN LA PUMA, MD FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

A FUNNY THING has happened declines, and they may feel tired and in the United States over the past few have difficulty concentrating. decades. Men’s average testosterone But “low T,” as the condition has levels have been dropping by at been labeled, is not nearly as accepted least 1 percent a year, according to a an illness as ads for prescription 2006 study in the Journal of Clinical testosterone would have you believe. Endocrinology and Metabolism. Low T is most often a symptom of an- Testosterone appears to decline other condition—be it aging, obesity, naturally with aging, but internal or drug interactions, for example— belly fat depresses the hormone not the problem itself. Pharmaceuti- further. Drugs like cortisone and opi- cal companies, however, have seized ates also lower it, and chemicals like on the decline in testosterone levels bisphenol A (BPA, found in plastic as pathological, convincing men that containers) and common effects of aging, diseases like type 2 like slowing down a bit diabetes may play and feeling less sexual, a role too. actually constitute a Many men feel new disease—and that the loss. Clinical they need a prescription testosterone deficiency, to cure it. This is a seductive which is variously defined message to men who just want as lower than 220 to 300 to feel better than they do and nanograms of testosterone want to give it a shot, literally. per deciliter of blood serum, can cause men to Rx for Concern lose sex drive and fertility. Prescription testosterone

Their bone density often doesn’t merely give your T level HALLEY RESOURCES GUIDO FOR SARAH PROP STYLIST:

56 | 06•2014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY YASU+JUNKO a boost: It may also increase your prescription. Up to a quarter of these risk of heart attack, add too many prescriptions are dispensed without red blood cells to your bloodstream, a blood test. From a psychological and shrink your testes. A recent large perspective, this isn’t helping men. study published in the journal PLoS From a medical perspective, it must ONE found that within three months, be addressed. In addition to cardiac taking the hormone doubled rates risks, prescription T can shut off of heart attacks in men 65 and older, men’s own natural, albeit dimin- as well as in younger men who had ished, testosterone production. heart disease. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has begun an Natural Ways to Boost T investigation. Instead of heading to the pharmacy The issue bears a stark resemblance to get their fix, men should address to the hormone trial in the 1990s and the leading cause of the problem. early 2000s in which middle-age Losing weight is a tried-and-true way women took synthetic prescription to naturally boost testosterone levels. estrogen and progesterone to treat According to findings presented at menopause, among other reasons. the annual meeting of the Endocrine But by 2002, we knew that those Society in 2012, obese men who hormones raised the risk of stroke, lost an average of 17 pounds saw heart disease, and invasive breast their testosterone levels increase by cancer in healthy women. 15 percent. In general, a man’s waist The number of testosterone should be half his height. prescriptions given to American Some diet changes may be useful men has tripled since 2001. Used for reasons other than just weight clinically since 1937 and approved loss. Cut back on booze—alcohol by the FDA since 1953, testosterone lowers testosterone levels. Eating is now administered in at least five more whole foods and fewer junk forms, including patches, gels, and foods improves mood and energy, injections. Three million prescrip- which may be the only fix many tions were written in 2012 for market men need. What they don’t need: leader AndroGel alone. Sales of all a prescription for a risky drug to testosterone-boosting drugs are esti- treat a questionable disease. mated to have been $2 billion in 2012. Too many doctors are writing prescriptions without even measuring John La Puma, MD, is an internist and the author of Refuel: A 24-Day Eating Plan to patients’ hormone levels, much less Shed Fat, Boost Testosterone, and Pump retesting and adjusting the dose after Up Strength and Stamina.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 57 HEALTH

Your Health Is Written All Over Your Face

BY THE PHYSICIANS OF THE DOCTORS

WHEN WE CHAT with patients assistant professor of medicine at the eye to eye, it’s not just about creating NYU School of Medicine and author rapport. Certain facial traits may of What the Yuck?! Other signs of reveal vital clues to underlying health hypothyroidism include feeling cold, conditions. We asked doctors around weight gain, and fatigue. Diabetes the country to share what they look symptoms include extreme thirst, for while examining patients. The frequent urination, and blurry vision. most important tip we took away: You should worry most about a change Excess Facial Hair in appearance. If symptoms are new, Unwanted hair, particularly along the tell your physician. jawline, chin, and upper lip, could be a symptom of polycystic ovary Dry, Flaky Skin or Lips syndrome, a hormone imbalance This is a common warning in which male hormone levels sign of dehydration. It are elevated. (The condition may may also indicate a more affect five million U.S. women of serious problem that childbearing age.) affects sweat gland function, such as Soft, Yellow hypothyroidism Spots on Eyelids (marked by Patients with these insufficient levels cholesterol-filled lesions, of thyroid hormone) called xanthelasmata, or diabetes, says may have a higher Roshini Raj, MD, risk of heart disease. A 2011 Cohost Rachel Ross, MD Danish study of nearly

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13,000 patients found that about Discolored Complexion 4 percent had the spots and that Even slight changes may indicate those patients were nearly 70 percent that something may be wrong. Pale- more likely to develop hardening of ness could be a sign of anemia. A the arteries and almost 50 percent yellow tone could indicate liver dis- more likely to have a heart attack ease. A bluish tint in lips or nail beds over the next few decades than could indicate heart or lung disease, patients without them. says Mallika Marshall, MD, an internist and pediatrician at Massachusetts Eye Bags and Puffiness General Hospital. Tired-looking eyes could be a red flag for chronic allergies, which Rashes and Blotches dilate blood vessels and cause Certain digestive problems may them to leak. In the sensitive skin show up on skin, says Dr. Raj. Itchy under your eyes, this creates puffi- clusters of red bumps could indicate ness and a dark purple-blue hue, celiac disease, an autoimmune says Dr. Raj. disorder in which the body reacts to gluten. A butterfly-shaped rash across Facial Asymmetry the cheekbones and over the bridge This can be one of the first signs of the nose can be a sign of lupus, an of stroke, says Leana Wen, MD, autoimmune disease. Allergies, an emergency physician at George eczema and rosacea, and certain in- Washington University and coauthor fections can also trigger facial rashes. of When Doctors Don’t Listen: How to Avoid Misdiagnoses and Unnecessary Receding Chin Tests. “Patients will often describe Along with traits like a thick neck it like this: ‘I looked in the mirror, and a small jaw, this could be a sign and my face looked different.’” You of sleep apnea, a disorder in which might also notice that one side of your breathing repeatedly stops for your face is numb or feel as if you ten seconds or more while you sleep, can’t fully smile. Or you might have says Dr. Raj. If you snore loudly, get trouble speaking. If you suspect that headaches first thing in the morning, you or a relative may have had a or feel excessive fatigue during the stroke, call 911 right away. day, ask about getting tested.

YOUR DAILY DOSE The health teams at The Doctors and Reader’s Digest partner monthly to prescribe feel-great advice. Check local listings to watch the hit show every day.

60 | 06•2014 | rd.com Great Books for Every Reader

Never Quote the Weather to a Sea Lion And Other Uncommon Tales from the Founder of the Big Apple Circus Paul Binder www.authorhouse.com 978-1-4817-3190-4 | Paperback | $19.95 For Paul Binder the circus wasn’t merely a weekend escape – it was a lifestyle. Discover the origins of New York’s beloved Big Apple Circus in Binder’s new memoir, which chronicles his journey from humble beginnings to circus founder. Never Quote the Weather to a Sea Lion will help readers understand the inner-workings of the circus and fi nd the magic in everyday life.

She Flies Through The Air The Logic of the Circus Life Apocalypse

Lee Stath (Marilees) Stephen Beebe www.xlibris.com www.xlibris.com 978-1-4931-2018-5 | Hardback | $29.99 978-1-4931-2119-9 | Hardback | $29.99 978-1-4931-2017-8 | Paperback | $19.99 978-1-4931-2118-2 | Paperback | $19.99 978-1-4931-2019-2 | E-book | $3.99 978-1-4931-2120-5 | E-book | $3.99 Acrophobia is defi nitely not an asset to fl ying over circus rings or swinging from one trapeze to the other. Rather constant practice The Apocalypse is perhaps the most controversial book and determination led trapeze performer now author Lee Stath, of the entire Bible, and its meaning is debated by clerics also known in the circus world as part of The Flying Marilees, to and academics. In his incisive and groundbreaking share how his mentor made one of the best catchers in the circus work, Stephen Beebe lets us look at the Apocalypse with world out of a reluctant school teacher. Through She Flies Through fresh, new eyes. The Air, Stath divulges the gritty inside and the lusty life on a circus train or Inside a sweaty tin truck and the sawdust strewn life of a “First Of May”. I Chose To Be A A Century on New U.S. Marine Brunswick’s N.W. Miramichi George W. Carrington

George S. Mumford www.authorhouse.com 978-1-4918-3177-9 | Hardback | $23.99 www.xlibris.com 978-1-4918-3178-6 | Paperback | $14.95 978-1-4931-2021-5 | Hardback | $29.99 978-1-4918-3176-2 | E-book | $3.99 978-1-4931-2020-8 | Paperback | $19.99 978-1-4931-2022-2 | E-book | $3.99 I CHOSE TO BE A U.S. MARINE is author George W. Carrington’s military memoirs during his many years as Experience the grandeur of nature and the majesty of a U.S marine. This highly interesting and informative life… In A Century on New Brunswick’s N.W. Miramichi, book is fi lled with stories of bravery and heroism George S. Mumford shares his father’s journal, one that lightened by amusing stories of levity, tells of the chronicled an unforgettable fi rst trip to a breathtaking author’s life in the marines. region of Canada.

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“What’s the problem? We told you when you started you’d have to make some sacrifices.”

MY CLIENT BUYS many rental “Oh, thank God,” she said. “I properties, not always with the thought she was selling you another enthusiastic support of his wife. house.” PATTI SIMKINS, Columbus, Georgia Recently, I was showing him a home when his wife called. I could hear A MOTHER complained to my wife, her ask what he was doing. a schoolteacher, that other students “The real estate agent and I are were stealing her daughter’s pencils. having an affair,” he answered. “It’s not the money—it’s the

62 | 06•2014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY NAF principle,” she insisted. “My husband TIRED OF REFERRING to your took those pencils from work.” bosses with the same old, sorry ROGER PRENGEL, Lacey, Washington expletives? Try some from abroad: Chinese: “Your mother is a big turtle.” THERE IS NO such thing as a dumb Yiddish: “May you lie in the ground question, except for these: and bake bagels.” ■ I work in IT. A customer asked Bulgarian: “You are as ugly as salad.” me if a string of numbers I’d read off Finnish: “Your mother married a was upper- or lowercase. reindeer!” Source: globalpost.com ■ Someone once asked, “Is this the museum?” I work at a pool. HELP WANTED ■ A few of the things customers have asked for at our art-supply Looking for a job? You can’t pass up these real listings: store include disco balls, trees, and crucifixion wood. ■ I’m a butcher. A woman asked if she could sleep in our freezer to test out a heavy-duty sleeping bag WAITRESS WANTED. Must be 18 years old before a trip to the Himalayas. with 20 years’ experi- Source: reddit.com ence.

TESTIMONY TAKEN down by me, PIANO PLAYER WANTED. a court reporter: Must have Question: Now, to the best of knowledge of opening clams. your knowledge, did your internal bleeding stop? NOW HIRING CASHIER. Answer: I hope so. Cannot look like “Skele- DIANE MCELWEE, Norfolk, Massachusetts tor” from “He-Man.” CAB DRIVERS BUSINESS SIGNS OF THE TIMES: WANTED. Must have ■ Spotted on a restaurant’s website: good driving & criminal “Glutton-free menu available.” record. EMILY PAYNE, Greenville, South Carolina ■ Seen on a New York City subway poster: “Se habla Español/Russian.” Sources: top5.com, kulfoto.com, uselesshumor.com AARON FERNANDO, Richmond Hill, New York ■ Read off a pharmacy marquee: “We Wanted: Funny work-related stories. sell beer & wine! We can flavor your You could make big bucks. Go to page 7

PHOTOGRAPH BY KANG KIM BY PHOTOGRAPH child’s liquid Rx!” Source: Consumer Reports or rd.com/submit for details.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 63

COVER STORY

Imagine surgeons running out of anesthetic drugs, cancer patients who can’t get lifesaving chemotherapy, and doctors scrambling for the most basic antibiotics. We’re already there. A World Without Meds BY KATHERINE EBAN

JENNIFER LACOGNATA, 40, A BOOKING AGENT for United Airlines from Safety Harbor, Florida, first suffered an attack of night blindness in early 2011. It took months to properly diagnose her. She was vitamin A deficient, due to a shortened bowel that made her body unable to absorb fat. The good news: The problem was totally fixable with injections of a basic medicine called Aquasol A,

PHOTOGRAPHS BY DAN WINTERS rd.com | 06•2014 | 65 A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS made by Hospira, an American It is listed on Hospira’s website as generic drug company. “out of stock.” But bad news quickly followed. “I can’t believe this could happen in LaCognata learned that manufactur- America,” LaCognata says. ing challenges had forced Hospira to stop selling the drug, effectively A SHOCKING EPIDEMIC plunging the entire world into a It seems unfathomable in our high- shortage. Without Aquasol A, LaCog- tech medical system, but in 2007, nata is going blind. United Airlines 154 drugs were in shortage, a num- placed her on unpaid medical leave ber that almost tripled to 456 in 2012, because she could no longer look at according to the U.S. Government a computer screen. She is forced to Accountability Office. wear an eye patch and can see only Threatening medical-care options kaleidoscopic fragments out of one and patients’ lives, drug shortages eye. “My kids call me Pirate now,” she have occurred in almost every phar- says, “instead of Mom.” maceutical category. Antibiotics, LaCognata and her husband can- cancer drugs, anesthesia, pain con- vassed the world for Aquasol A. They trol, reproductive and gynecological contacted the Food and Drug Admin- drugs, cardiac medicine, psychiatric istration (FDA), the State Department, drugs, and intravenous-feeding solu- and every major eye hospital in Amer- tions have all been in varying degrees ica. (They found two vials, but they of short supply or not available at all. were expired, so hospitals wouldn’t Recently, nitroglycerin, an emergency release them.) The couple wrote and room staple used to treat heart attack called hospitals and organizations patients, has been in such severe scar- in Israel, China, Canada, and Brazil. city that its sole U.S. manufacturer LaCognata contacted charities, in- has restricted hospitals to 40 percent cluding the Red Cross and the Helen of their usual orders. A study pub- Keller Foundation, that serve foreign lished this March in the Mayo Clinic populations prone to vitamin A defi- Proceedings attributed more than ciency, without luck. 15 documented deaths since 2010 to A Hospira spokesperson said that either lack of treatment or the switch the company recognized the “criti- to an inferior drug as a result of medical need” for Aquasol A and had cation shortages. contracted with a separate manu- Though the FDA has scrambled to facturing company to “accelerate the alleviate the crisis and physicians product’s return to market.” But years have become deft at juggling or later, the company has yet to resume substituting treatments, there is no its production. comprehensive solution to this drug-

66 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST supply breakdown, which has per- Limited manufacturing capacity sisted for a complex array of reasons. is an important factor too. Over half The first is all about money. As the drugs on the FDA shortage list generic drug prices have dropped, had only one or two manufactur- so have manufacturers’ profits. As a ers, according to a report by the IMS result, some manufacturers have Institute for Healthcare Informatics. failed to invest in infrastructure and Some blame hospital buying groups, quality control. To ensure safety, the middlemen that purchase drugs and FDA has taken regulatory supplies for many of actions that have halted the nation’s hospitals, supplies, with sterile which have awarded injectable drugs, such as “I work in contracts to some man- pain meds and chemo- the most ufacturers and not oth- therapy, dominating the expensive ers, thereby suppressing shortage list. (These are competition and inno- the most complex and health-care vation. The result is that costly generics to make.) system in the for any given drug, there The business model of world, and may be only one or two just-in-time manufac- I am being generic manufacturers turing—in which com- asked to do it left to produce it, which panies make drugs as can lead to shortages. patients need them but in third world Predatory middle- do not stockpile extra— conditions.” men are making the leaves no margin for MICHELE CURTIS, MD, situation even worse. A unexpected events. an ob-gyn in Houston congressional investiga- Noting that there tion led by Rep. Elijah are no shortages of big Cummings, a Baltimore profit-generators, like Viagra, many Democrat, has found that shady sec- practitioners and patients suspect ondary wholesalers buy up drugs in less-than-honorable motives by drug- shortage and resell them, often at exor- makers. Some experts suggest that bitant prices. This explains, in part, the manufacturers may have financial haphazard ebb and flow of the short- incentive to temporarily stop pro- ages that makes them particularly hard duction of a drug. Medicare reform to handle: One day the medicine is just imposed certain price controls on gone, but there’s plenty the next. generic drugs, but, due to a loophole, But as experts debate the cause of these controls are lifted if a manufac- the shortages, there is no disagree- turer stops making the drug for six ment over their devastating impact. months. They’ve turned pharmacists into

rd.com | 06•2014 | 67 A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS

professional beggars and have forced compounding pharmacies, which are doctors to change treatment proto- not subject to regulation as stringent cols on the fly—in some cases, turn- as that for drug manufacturers, have ing routine care into a roll of the dice. taken advantage of this and started They’ve stopped clinical trials and churning out large volumes of drugs. have led to the suspension of the But this can lead to safety issues. Such death penalty in some states that use dangers became vividly clear in 2012, lethal injection. after contaminated steroids from the Shortages are leading hospitals New England Compounding Center and patients to get drugs from less led to an outbreak of meningitis that regulated and potentially less safe killed 64 patients. A 2013 report by the sources, such as drug compounders, Health and Human Services inspec- specialty pharmacies that mix medi- tor general found that drug shortages cations for individual patients. Some have led 68 percent of U.S. hospitals

68 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST to turn to compounders to make ver- Zirbes was justified in her concern. sions of medicine in short supply. According to a 2012 study in the New Patients today have to cope not only England Journal of Medicine, drug with being sick or choosing between substitutions due to shortages led to treatment options but also with the higher relapse rates among children possibility that the drug they need with an otherwise curable form of may be available solely from a risky lymphoma. source—or not at all. Like Jennifer LaCognata, Zirbes embarked on a quest to find the right A SCARY REALITY FOR medicine. She contacted her sena- CANCER PATIENTS tor Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), who took Those with life-threatening diseases up the cause with proposed legis- have been hit hardest by shortages, lation. Zirbes produced two news in part because many of their medi- segments on children affected by drug cations have no substitute and their shortages. She worked every connec- exacting treatment regimens cannot tion she had and looked as far away be delayed. as Europe to find her son’s drug. Justine Zirbes, 33, a TV producer Ultimately, the day before Axel was in Minneapolis, was seven months due for treatment, the hospital got pregnant with twins in October 2010 enough cytarabine to treat him and when she learned that her three-year- another child. old, Axel, had leukemia. The distress- Axel was reasonably lucky. Other ing news sent her into early labor, and patients, like Carey Fitzmaurice of she was confined to bed. Bethesda, Maryland, almost certainly As her son embarked on gruel- suffered recurrence of their cancer ing chemotherapy for a disease that because of drug shortages. can often be cured if treated—but is In 2006, Fitzmaurice, 37, was happily almost certainly fatal if not—Zirbes married with two young children and learned that a national shortage of a job she loved as a policy analyst at the chemotherapy drug cytarabine the Environmental Protection Agency, would affect his regimen. Doctors when she learned that she had ovarian offered a drug called clofarabine, cancer and a BRCA1 genetic mutation which was not standard treatment. that had likely caused it. Though still pregnant and on bed rest, Over five years, she bravely Zirbes flatly refused. “How is this pos- underwent debilitating treatment, a sible, in this country in 2011, that these recurrence of her ovarian cancer, an lifesaving drugs are not widely avail- additional diagnosis of breast cancer, able?” Zirbes recalls. “I was beside and a radical mastectomy. In the mid- myself with disbelief.” dle of 2011, things finally seemed to

rd.com | 06•2014 | 69 A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS be breaking her way. Her breast can- services, says that in 2012, of the 60,000 cer was in remission, and a chemo- doses of chemotherapy administered therapy drug called Doxil, made by a intravenously at his facility, almost contractor for the Johnson & Johnson 35 percent were affected by shortages. subsidiary Janssen, Inc., appeared to Treatment was interrupted or canceled, be vanquishing a recurrence of the patients were switched to alternative ovarian cancer. But in August 2011, drugs, or an alternative supply for she learned there was not enough the needed drug had to be found. His Doxil to complete her overwhelmed staff “was treatment. forced to beg, borrow, Fitzmaurice assumed plead to get drugs for that she would be able to “The patients,” he says. find some on her own. “I shortages Now, whenever a work for the federal gov- patient begins che- ernment,” she says. “A will surely motherapy, Forrey’s lot of what I do is help cause her hospital sequesters people cut through red death.” the entire treatment tape and find solutions. SUSAN AGRAWAL, regimen, which can be That’s how I tackled can- a mom in Chicago, months of medication, cer to begin with: find about her daughter to ensure that it is avail- out who the right doctor able. But Forrey is not is, where to get surgery.” optimistic that the drug But the shortage of Doxil thwarted shortages will ease. her every effort. After four months “Every time I think it can’t get without the medication, her ovarian worse, it does get worse,” he says. cancer returned. In a recent study from the Univer- ARE DRUG SHORTAGES sity of Pennsylvania presented at the A NEW NORMAL? 2013 annual meeting of the American Shortages are not limited to drugs Society of Clinical Oncology, 83 per- for cancer or uncommon diseases. cent of oncologists and hematologists Experts fear that scarcity of the heart said they’ve faced cancer drug short- attack drug nitroglycerin is endan- ages, and of those, nearly all said their gering patients’ lives. Last spring, patients’ treatment had been affected the most basic of antibiotics, doxycy- by drug shortages. cline, used for everything from acne At the Ohio State University Com- to Lyme disease, disappeared from prehensive Cancer Center in Colum- pharmacies. Even intravenous saline bus, Ohio, Ryan Forrey, associate solution, a hospital staple, has been director for pharmacy and infusion in short supply, leading some hospi-

70 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST tals to ration their use. In fact, almost thetics used in gynecologic surgery every U.S. hospital has faced a lack of to antinausea drugs for pregnancy to basic medicine, found an American antibiotics for sexually transmitted Hospital Association survey. Many diseases, says Michele Curtis, MD, have even hired a full-time staff per- an ob-gyn in Houston. “I work in the son specifically to navigate shortages. most expensive health-care system in Hospitals have developed complex the world, and I am being asked to do formulas to help ration existing drug it in third world conditions,” she says. supplies—essentially, to determine Thirty-seven of the 38 different which patients get medication and components used in intravenous which don’t. nutrition bags have been in fluctuat- “No doctor wants to prioritize,” says ing shortage since spring 2009, which Richard Schilsky, MD, chief medi- is a serious threat to our country’s cal officer of the American Society of youngest and most fragile children. Clinical Oncology. “But if you have Insufficient zinc, for example, has five patients and only three vials, led to raw blistering sores on the tiny that’s a very real problem.” hands of premature infants. A significant shortage creep is af- “We have been compromising what fecting mainstays of reproductive and we feel is optimal care for close to three sexual-health medicine, from anes- years now, and we don’t really see any

NUMBER OF ACTIVE DRUG SHORTAGES BY YEAR

500 450 400 350 195 73 through 300 255 June 30 250 200 201 150 157 288 100 137 261 through 114 184 June 30 50 127 74 0 40 56 NUMBER OF ACTIVE DRUG SHORTAGES NUMBER OF ACTIVE YEAR 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013

NEW SHORTAGES ONGOING SHORTAGES Source: GAO analysis of University of Utah Drug Information Service data

rd.com | 06•2014 | 71 A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS end in sight,” says Jay M. Mirtallo, fact that her IV nutrition—which immediate past president of the shouldn’t be this complicated—is so American Society for Parenteral and fraught may be compromising the Enteral Nutrition. quality of life she has left. Agrawal fears that given her daughter’s fragile ROLLING THE DICE health and immune system, the short- Doctors, patients, and regulators have ages “will surely cause her death.” jury-rigged fixes with their own haz- In a survey of 1,800 health-care ards, using drugs that may have worse practitioners, about 25 percent side effects or less favorable outcomes reported errors due to shortages. or come from unsavory wholesalers or Among the 1,000 incidents: a patient less regulated drugmakers. who died from an infection that could The shortages have forced Susan have been treated had the antibiotic Agrawal, in Chicago, to make difficult amikacin been available, accidental decisions as she struggles to keep her overdoses of alternative drugs, and nine-year-old daughter, Karuna, alive. prolonged hospitalizations due to side Karuna was born with cerebral palsy effects from alternative drugs. due to a ruptured umbilical cord. She A medicine substitution sickened has since developed an autoimmune Sharon Brown, who was being treated disease that causes her organs to fail. for stage 2 breast cancer at Ohio State She survives by getting her nutri- University. She was suffering relatively ents intravenously and needs bags of few side effects from her chemother- liquid nutrition with 14 components, apy drug, Taxol, but then in June 2011, which Agrawal gets from a specialized her doctors were unable to procure sterile infusion facility. her next dose and switched her to a Agrawal has had to canvass local similar drug, Taxotere. pharmacies and drug compounders Two days after her first dose, she to find the ingredients that the facility suffered a devastating reaction, an can’t get. In fact, she’s even purchased uncommon but known side effect: She drug components from a compounding grew dizzy, broke into a cold sweat, pharmacy that has had repeated run- and could not lift her arms over her ins with state regulators for unsanitary head. She was so dehydrated that hos- conditions. Then she must reconsti- pital staff could not even draw blood tute the components, from powder to from her veins. For the next two weeks, liquid, at her dining room table, with she needed IV fluids every other day no guarantee of sterility, and add them just to treat her dehydration. She was to her daughter’s IV bags. “It’s like, too sick to resume chemotherapy for ‘Cross your fingers,’ ” she says. another month. Although Karuna is very sick, the Even the FDA has been boxed into a

72 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST corner. After the cancer drug Doxil be- Genzyme says the company imposed came unavailable in late 2011, the FDA this condition after it consulted with made an emergency provision to allow a working group that included doc- an Indian generic-drug company, Sun tors and patient advocates. However, Pharma Global, to temporarily export patients say that the FDA did not study a similar generic drug, Lipodox, which the impact of the diminished dose, is not approved in the United States. and—more shocking—the European Although patients and doctors ap- Medicines Agency, Europe’s main plauded the move, Sun Pharma has drug regulator, found that a reduced faced repeated past FDA sanctions for dose accelerated disease in some poor quality. (In 2009, patients. (Genzyme U.S. marshals raided spokeswoman Lori its U.S. manufacturing Gorski says that during plant and shut down The FDA, the shortage, the FDA production.) with all its did permit patients to Patients say that drug- leverage, take an alternative drug, makers have forced “could Replagal, made by Shire.) them into unacceptable In February 2012, a treatment. Sufferers of probably Pittsburgh patent law- Fabry disease, a rare solve yer, Allen Black, PhD, life-threatening enzyme 90 percent who had worked as a disorder that dangerously of the drug developer, filed slows blood supply, have a lawsuit against the only the drug Fabrazyme, problem.” FDA on behalf of patients made by the company affected by drug short- Genzyme, to treat their ages. Those included disease. But in 2009, Genzyme was patients with Fabry disease as well forced to shut down its manufacturing as Jennifer LaCognata, who needs plant in Allston, Massachusetts, after a Aquasol A. The lawsuit alleged that by viral contamination was discovered. allowing drug companies to stop mak- As Genzyme entered into a consent ing a drug, the FDA effectively allows decree with the FDA and struggled them to make life-or-death decisions to open a new plant, it established a for patients. As Black says, “There’s rationing program. Patients would no appeals process. You get denied be required to take a reduced dose a drug? Tough.” The FDA’s response instead of their whole dose. If they offered little comfort to patients ex- refused, they would be given no pecting help. In a motion to dismiss medicine and placed at the bottom the lawsuit, the FDA stated that while of the waiting list. A spokesperson for it “works with manufacturers to help

rd.com | 06•2014 | 73 A WORLD WITHOUT MEDS prevent and mitigate these short- There is some evidence that the FDA ages, the FDA’s authority to address has been successful in holding back potential and actual drug shortages the tide. In 2013, the number of new is limited.” Last November, the court drugs added to the shortage list was far dismissed the case. less than the number added in 2012. But in the first quarter of 2014, active FOR REAL SOLUTIONS, shortages remained close to the high- WE NEED BIG REFORM est level ever. The situation, which was In July 2012, Congress passed the the subject of a congressional hearing Food and Drug Administration Safety in February, remains “very critical,” and Innovation Act, which included says Erin Fox, director of the Univer- provisions originally spearheaded by sity of Utah’s drug information service. Justine Zirbes’s senator Amy Klobu- Critics say the FDA’s response is char. The law requires that drugmak- mere window dressing that has done ers give the FDA early notification of little to change underlying problems. any manufacturing issues or business “It’s fine to say that the FDA should decisions that may lead to shortages. have six months’ advance notice,” says It requires the FDA to expedite inspec- Dr. Schilsky. But he views the new leg- tions and reviews of manufacturing islation as “doing nothing to address sites that could help resolve shortages. the root causes” of the problem.

ACTIVE SHORTAGES OF TOP FIVE DRUG CLASSES

50 45 40 35 30 25 20 43 15 36 33 33

AS OF FEBRUARY 2014 OF FEBRUARY AS 10 24 5 0 NUMBER OF ACTIVE DRUG SHORTAGES DRUG SHORTAGES NUMBER OF ACTIVE ANTIBIOTICS CHEMOTHERAPY CARDIO- CENTRAL ELECTROLYTES/ (e.g., tetracycline) (e.g., Doxil) VASCULAR NERVOUS NUTRITION (e.g., nitroglycerin) SYSTEM (e.g., IV saline) Source: University of Utah Drug Information Service (e.g., morphine)

74 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

Meanwhile, doctors and patients lease at least one fifth of produc- have little information about when tion to backup companies to avoid they can expect shortages to be re- supply-chain disruptions in the solved. Despite planning and promises event of natural or other disasters. from drugmakers, “many resolution Justine Zirbes, who faced the prospect dates are unknown or unmet,” says that her son Axel could have died from Ryan Roux, chief pharmacy officer at leukemia without cytarabine, says that the Harris County Hospital District in manufacturers who “stop making a Texas. lifesaving drug” should be subject to Companies aren’t penalized for criminal prosecution. drug shortages or incentivized to In a separate proceeding, Jenni- avoid them, experts say. The only real fer LaCognata sued Hospira on the solution, say a number of health-care grounds that the company failed to professionals, is to require drug man- plan for contingencies in its shortage ufacturers to stockpile medicine and of Aquasol A. Last June, Florida’s 11th to ensure that more than one drug- Circuit Court of Appeals dismissed maker produces it. “There needs to be the suit. Her lawyer, Allen Black, then a way to obligate multiple manufac- petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court, turers to make these lifesaving medi- which declined to take the case. cations,” says Ohio State’s Forrey. LaCognata, whose vision continues The FDA would have to require that to deteriorate and who lost her house manufacturers change their just-in- in a foreclosure proceeding, says time manufacturing model and set she has to remain strong for her aside reserves of lifesaving drugs, kids. “I have to have a very upbeat which the FDA has claimed is impos- attitude,” she says, “or it would just sible. But one executive at a phar- consume [me].” macy benefit-management company, Just recently, her lawyer was stag- who asked to remain anonymous, gered to learn from a friend who works says the FDA could easily mandate for Doctors Without Borders that a this: “Don’t give me this stuff: ‘We version of the vitamin A drug that can’t tell the drug companies what LaCognata needs is being manufac- to do,’” he says. “Yes, you can; you tured in France, sold under the name do it all the time.” The FDA, with all Nepalm Vitamin A. But with her its leverage, “could probably solve financial resources depleted, her doctor 90 percent of the problem.” reluctant to prescribe it, and her need Some vital industries, such as to get a compassionate-use exemp- technology and defense, encour- tion from the FDA (so the drug can get age what is called second sourcing, through customs), LaCognata just has in which manufacturers may sub- to figure out how to obtain it.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 75 Laughter THE BEST MEDICINE

FAKE GIFTS FOR GRADS

From collegehumor.com

I NEVER FEEL more alone than asked why they had revolted. when I’m trying to put sunscreen on “Warden,” said one of the men, my back. @JIMMYKIMMEL “we rebelled because the food is awful.” THREE PRISONERS broke out “I see,” said the warden. “But what of their cells and incited a riot. did you use to break the bars?”

After they were caught, the warden “The French toast.” (3) COLLEGEHUMOR COURTESY

76 | 06•2014 | rd.com HEAR ABOUT the statistician who drowned crossing a river? It LESS MASCARA, MAYBE? was three feet deep on average.

A JUDGE TELLS the defendant, “You’re charged with attacking your boss with a hammer.” “You jerk!” yells a voice from the back of the courtroom. “You’re also charged with attacking a bartender with a hammer,” says the judge. “Jerrrrkkkk!” bellows the same man. “Sir,” says the judge, “one more outburst, and I’ll charge you with contempt.” “I’m sorry, Your Honor,” says the OUR FAVORITE HASHTAGS man. “But I’ve been this jerk’s neigh- (AND TWEETS) ON DATING: bor for ten years, and every time I #GeekPickupLines: My name’s asked to borrow a hammer, he said Microsoft … can I crash at your place he didn’t have one.” tonight? @TILLINGHAST (Mark Dryzcimski) #RobotPickupLines: “You had me WHERE DO GEEKS go for a good at 10010001000010110011001001100 time? A wonky-tonk. 1001111.” @POUND_HASHTAG JACK EASTHAM, Cypress, Texas #ThatAwkwardMoment: When someone says “Hello!” and you say PROFESSORS DEFINE A KISS: “Good, thanks!” @MENSHUMOR I In math: Two divided by nothing. #MySexLifeinMovieTitles: Home I In physics: The contraction of Alone @IOWAHAWKBLOG (David Burge) the mouth due to the expansion of the heart. IF YOU’RE THE sole survivor of the I In accounting: It’s a credit, because Apocalypse, go to your gym. There’ll it is profitable when returned. be somebody at the locker right next I In economics: A thing for which to yours. @BAZECRAZE (Alex Baze) the demand is higher than the supply. Did you hear about the guy who got I In dentistry: It’s infectious and $100 for sending us a funny gag? Go to

JESSICA HAGY JESSICA antiseptic. From gcfl.net page 7 or rd.com/submit for details.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 77 STRANGERS WHO CHANGED MY LIFE MY CHANGED WHO STRANGERS The Folks at Moe’s Diner 78 about patriotism,gratitude, andlove A roomful ofpeopleIdidn’tknow taughtme States home. and theUnited Sri Lanka She callsboth paperback. in released has justbeen Sal Mal Lane novel, recent most RU FREEMAN

On 06 • 2014 , ’s ’s

| rd.com BY RUFREEMAN lege for an early start onsummer.lege foranearly start thecourseofclass’s Over to takejust onemore intensive classinsteadofleaving col- whata month during wascalledshort-term, a time forstudents thing that hedidn’tknow about. Ihad beenteachingdancefor s’mores. life. LikeIsaid,American pickup andItastedmy truck firstvaguely smoky hotdogsand the state parks ofMaine, where wesleptintheback ofhisFord Street. He tookmeforwalksaround to thecampusanddrives eggs over sausage onthesideat easywith Denny’s onMain HeLiberty. gotmehookedonmovies and at thecollegelibrary the collegefootballbleachersandtocrown oftheStatue of Heall thingsAmerican. tookmetothetopofpress box in boyfriend.American nearly 10,000milesaway from home, handsome andmy very Lanka,Sri washighontwothings buthard-dancinga nondrinking international student from IN THELATE SPRING It stoodtoreason, then,that Iwouldwant toshare some- Mark, ConnecticutYankee, atrue-blue introduced meto ofmy freshman yearincollege, I, : enjoying thefreedom ofbeing ILLUSTRATION BY YVETTA FEDOROVA

ILLUSTRATION BY JOE MCKENDRY (FREEMAN)

STRANGERS WHO CHANGED MY LIFE travels to public elementary and for help in the first place, all night middle schools, I had taken in the long as he had lain in his bed areas surrounding our campus, the wondering about the engine revving land rolling away into farms and across the street. “There’s an aban- mill towns. So one night when Mark doned railway line at the far end of suggested that we drive to an open my farm,” he said, pointing as we said area where we could see the stars, I our goodbyes, after he had invited us announced that I knew just the place. in to wash up. “You can come and I did know. Sort of. park there anytime.” He I had seen a path lead- smiled as he said this, ing to a clearing off the and Mark had the good main road earlier that I have never sense to blush. afternoon from the bus. sung any song It was in that mood Where, exactly, that that we set off for home, clearing was I didn’t with more heart which was back to our know. I have always just than when dorms, a little contrite felt places. I travel by on his part, a little jazzed intuition and implicit I finished that up on mine, never mind trust that “something in anthem. that it was I who had my bones” will help me gotten us into the mess navigate roads, people, in the first place. places, and life itself. By the time we stopped at Uncle Late at night, though, in semi- Moe’s Diner, a place we now visit rural Maine, with no streetlights and whenever we are back in Lewiston, but few houses, we were easily lost. Not which we had never heard of until that simply lost, we were stuck in a mud morning, Mark was a little tired of my bog. There I sat, ladylike in my very crowing, and I was just getting started. light cream sweater, while Mark at- The diner was crowded that Sun- tempted to get the front wheels of the day morning, old-timers filling up the pickup out of the swamp. I helped, tables, the waitresses busy. We got a eventually, but only when repeated table off to the side of the main room. suggestions that we “just ask the nice For no good reason that I can recall, I people who probably live in the house started humming a song my mother up the hill to help us” fell on deaf, had taught me when I was about obdurate ears. The farmer did help seven years old: “The Star-Spangled us in the end, when he strolled out in Banner.” the first pink-gray light of the morn- “Why don’t you just sing the ing. It was a small but sweet victory to words?” Mark taunted. hear him inquire why we hadn’t asked I did.

80 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

“Why don’t you sing it even louder?” eyes moved away from Mark and re- he challenged me. turned to the people in front of me, I I did. saw that several of them had stood up “I dare you to stand up by this table and had their palms over their hearts. and sing it,” he said. I would earn my American citizen- “I will,” I said, and made to stand. ship more than a decade later, but I He said, “I bet you wouldn’t go to the believe that I learned my love for this front of this diner and sing it there.” country in that moment. I could see The waitress came by to take our so clearly what this anthem meant to order. When she left, I followed her to each person there, the stooped veter- the counter, which sat just to the left of ans, the women and men on their way the front door, open to the room and to church, the ones for whom the stop its diners. I spoke to the older woman at this diner was a Sunday ritual. I saw standing there, told her I’d like to sing people for whom the words meant the national anthem. You’ve got to just as much as the words of my home love Mainers, unfazed by just about country’s anthem meant to me. I don’t anything. She asked me to wait a min- believe I have ever sung any song with ute; she’d need to ask Moe. more heart than when I finished that “You want to sing the national “Star-Spangled Banner.” anthem?” Uncle Moe asked me, a little It isn’t the applause that has stayed furrow in his brow. “Why?” with me or the “thank you for singing I don’t know how this fragment of the anthem” that I heard from a few information came to me, but it sprang people or the fact that Uncle Moe and to my lips with ease: “Because the his wife remembered me—when Mark troops are coming home.” and I, now married, went back years Uncle Moe walked around that later—and said, “Aren’t you the young counter and stood beside me. “Excuse woman who sang the anthem here?” me, everybody,” he said to his cus- What has stayed with me is the grace I tomers. “This young lady would like learned in understanding that my song to sing the national anthem in honor was a much smaller gift to those peo- of the troops coming home today.” He ple than their gratitude was to me. For turned to me and said, “Go ahead.” in that gratitude I saw a bridge, the one I began, glancing over with triumph I walk on toward people I don’t know, at Mark, who sat with his fingers in- the one I lay down for them to walk terlaced, utterly shocked. It was not toward me. It has no political stripe, the triumphant song my mother had no class, no gender, no agendas. It is taught me that rose to my lips but itself: a bridge built of that grace and a song-on-a-dare, the kind of song recognition of each other’s essential, that could be any song. But when my deep, vulnerable humanity.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 81 DRAMA IN REAL LIFE OverMan

Lobster boat Anna Mary, docked in Montauk, New York A fisherman mysteriously vanishes in the middle of the night. No one can figure out when or where he dropped into the ocean. All he has is his rubber board!boots and a will to live.

BY PAUL TOUGH FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

rd.com | 06•2014 | 83 MAN OVERBOARD!

OOKING BACK, John Aldridge knew it was a stupid move. When you’re alone on the deck of a lobster boat in the middle L of the night, miles off the tip of Long Island, you don’t take chances. But he had work to do: He needed to start pumping water into the Anna Mary’s holding tanks to chill so that when he and his fishing partner and best friend, Anthony Sosinski, reached their first string of traps a few miles farther south, the water would be cold enough to keep the lobsters alive for the return trip.

John Aldridge on deck ALL PHOTOGRAPHS: DANIEL SHEA DANIEL ALL PHOTOGRAPHS:

84 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

In order to get to the tanks, he had Aldridge reached down and pulled to open a metal hatch on the deck. off his left boot. Straining, he turned And the hatch was covered by two 35- it upside down, raised it up until it gallon Coleman coolers—giant plastic cleared the waves, and then plunged insulated ice chests that he and Sosin- it back into the water, trapping a boot- ski had filled before leaving the dock size bubble of air inside. He tucked in Montauk harbor seven hours earlier. the inverted boot under his left arm- The coolers, full, weighed about 200 pit. Then he did the same thing with pounds, and the only way for Aldridge the right boot. It worked; they were to move them alone was to snag a box like twin pontoons, and treading hook onto the plastic handle of the water with his feet alone was now bottom one, brace his enough to keep him legs, lean back, and pull stable and afloat. with all his might. The boots gave And then the handle The water hit Aldridge a chance to snapped. him like a slap. think. He tried to take Suddenly Aldridge He took in a stock: It was about 3:30 was flying backward, mouthful of a.m. on July 24, 2013. tumbling across the deck The North Atlantic water toward the back of the Atlantic Ocean was a chilly 72 degrees. boat, which was wide then surfaced, Dawn was two hours open, just a flat, slick sputtering. away. Aldridge set a ramp leading straight goal: Stay afloat till sun- into the black ocean. rise. Once the sun came The water hit him like a slap. He went up, he knew, someone was bound to under, took in a mouthful of Atlantic start searching for him. Ocean, and then surfaced, sputtering. He yelled as loud as he could, hoping t was a little after 6 a.m. when to wake Sosinski. But the diesel engine Anthony Sosinski awoke. Ship- was too loud, and the Anna Mary, on I mate Mike Migliaccio first saw that autopilot, was already out of reach. Aldridge was missing and yelled for Aldridge, 45, had been a fisherman Sosinski. Sosinski tried to puzzle it out: for almost two decades, and he knew Before he went to sleep at 9 p.m., he that the first thing you do if you fall told Aldridge to wake him at 11:30 p.m. into the ocean is kick off your boots— Now it was past dawn, and they were they’re dead weight. But as he treaded more than 15 miles past their traps. water, Aldridge realized that his boots What could have happened? were lifting him up, weirdly elevating The men looked everywhere on the his feet and tipping him backward. 45-foot-long boat before Sosinski ran

rd.com | 06•2014 | 85 MAN OVERBOARD! to the VHF radio. He switched to chan- direction a “search object” might nel 16, the distress channel, and at have drifted. 6:22 a.m., he called for help, his voice The challenge in Aldridge’s case shaking: “Coast Guard, this is the Anna was that the search team had no clear Mary. We’ve got a man overboard.” idea of when or where he’d fallen over- The Coast Guard’s headquarters board. That created a potential search for Long Island and coastal Connecti- area larger than Rhode Island, an cut is in New Haven. That morning, 1,800-square-mile sweep of ocean that Petty Officer Sean Davis stood watch would be almost impossible to cover. at the station’s communications unit. The team in New Haven based its Davis radioed back, asking Sosinski initial calculations on Sosinski’s report for details. He then turned to Pete that Aldridge was supposed to wake Winters, the operations him up at 11:30 p.m. unit watch stander, who That suggested to them was working the Coast that Aldridge had fallen Guard’s search-and- The potential overboard between 9:30 rescue computer pro- search area p.m. and 11:30 p.m., gram, known as Sarops. was larger than which would put him By 6:28, the command Rhode Island, somewhere between center had notified five and 20 miles south search mission com- a sweep of ocean of the Long Island coast. mander Jonathan Theel nearly impossible Winters input those as- in New Haven and the to cover. sumptions, and Sarops search coordinator at came back with an the district headquarters “Alpha Drift” model in Boston, who would have to approve showing the highest-probability loca- the use of any aircraft in the search. At tions, clustered about 15 miles offshore. 6:30, Davis issued a universal distress The next step for Sarops was to de- call on channel 16, asking mariners to velop search patterns for each boat keep a sharp lookout. and aircraft. A little before 8 a.m., Davis contacted the Montauk Coast New Haven started issuing patterns Guard station with instructions to to a plane, a Jayhawk helicopter, and launch all available boats and radioed a 47-foot-long patrol boat from Mon- Air Station Cape Cod to tell them to get tauk. The helicopter was piloted by airborne as soon as possible. Air Station Cape Cod lieutenants Winters, meanwhile, was manning Mike Deal and Ray Jamros. They were the computer. Sarops can generate, joined by two crew members: a res- in minutes, as many as 10,000 points cue swimmer named Bob Hovey and to represent how far and in what a flight mechanic named Ethan Hill.

86 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

John Aldridge and Anthony Sosinski, near right, were boyhood friends. Far right, the boots that kept Aldridge afloat for 12 hours.

The Coast Guard search was off to Sosinski found the broken handle on an excellent start. The only problem, the ice chest, and he realized exactly of course, was that everyone involved how Aldridge had fallen overboard. was searching in entirely the wrong Together Sosinski and Winters place: Aldridge did not fall into the came up with a new theory: Aldridge water at 10:30 p.m.; he fell at 3:30 a.m. had gone overboard somewhere be- Almost 30 miles south of where the tween the 40-fathom curve, about 25 Jayhawk crew was carefully searching miles offshore, and the location of for him, Aldridge was clinging to his the Anna Mary’s first trawl, about 40 boots in the cold water. miles offshore. At 8:30 a.m., Winters passed this new information to Jason ack on the Anna Mary, Sosin- Rodocker, a petty officer and an expert ski had been having second in Sarops. Rodocker punched in the B thoughts about the search area. new variables, and the program spit After his initial conversation with out a second set of search patterns. Davis, he inspected the boat more The news about Aldridge was also carefully. One of the hatches was open, spreading through Montauk’s fishing and the pumps were on, sluicing cool community, and 21 commercial boats ocean water through the lobster tanks. volunteered to help. Davis couldn’t In the summer months, Aldridge communicate with all 21 at once on and Sosinski would start filling the top of the Coast Guard craft he was tanks when their boat reached the directing, so Winters hit on an idea: 40-fathom curve, the line on maritime They would put Sosinski in charge of charts that marks where the ocean’s sending out the search patterns for depth hits 40 fathoms, or 240 feet, the volunteer fishing fleet. which is the point at which the wa- Sosinski focused his energy on the ter temperature tends to drop. Then commercial boats, but none of it felt

rd.com | 06•2014 | 87 MAN OVERBOARD! like enough. Aldridge had left his driv- their strings. Lobster traps are always er’s license on the Anna Mary, and laid out along an east-west line, so every once in a while, Sosinski would Aldridge figured that a mile or so east, pick it up. He’d stare at it and say out he would find the other end of that loud, “Where are you, John?” string of traps, and with it, another Aldridge and Sosinski first fished buoy. He started swimming east. together as boys, riding their bikes Even with the current, swimming to a spot they’d found under Sunrise was painful work. His legs were Highway in Oakdale, New York. Once cramping. He couldn’t feel his fin- Aldridge joined Sosinski in Montauk, gers. The sun, rising higher in front of they fished for years on separate boats. him, was blinding. After more than an When a beat-up lobster boat called the hour, he spotted a buoy, and using the Anna Mary came up for current, he was able to sale, they decided to pool angle himself directly their money and buy it into it. He grabbed the together. By noon, rope and held on. Aldridge had By noon, Aldridge hen the sun been in the water had been in the water rose on July for almost nine for almost nine hours. W 24, Aldridge He was starting to gave himself a new as- hours. He was shiver uncontrollably. signment: Find a buoy. starting to shiver Sea shrimp were fasten- That way he would uncontrollably. ing themselves to his be more visible to the T-shirt and shorts. Storm searchers, and it would petrels swarmed around be easier to stay afloat. occasionally, squawking and diving. For a couple of hours, he drifted Aldridge could see the rescue air- and looked. Finally, Aldridge spotted craft overhead. Even if they’d figured a buoy about 200 feet away and began out more or less where he fell in, they swimming. His strokes were short and hadn’t taken into account the possi- slow with the boots under his arms and bility that he’d stopped drifting and the current against him. Each time he snagged a buoy. He had to get himself looked up, the buoy was farther away. farther east. He pulled his knife out of Aldridge stopped swimming, realiz- his pocket and cut the rope that held ing that he was becoming dangerously the buoy in place. He tied it around exhausted. He was able to see that the his wrist and began swimming. buoy he had been swimming toward He willed himself to keep kicking had a flag on top of it, which lobster until he reached another buoy. He fishermen attach to the west end of untied the rope from his wrist and

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Or call: 800-431-1515 MAN OVERBOARD! tied it to the anchor rope underneath the helicopter, huddled under blan- the new buoy. Now he had two buoys kets, Lieutenant Deal flipped the radio connected by a few feet of rope. He to channel 21 and called Sosinski, who straddled the rope, repositioned the was staring out at the water, still look- boots under his arms, and waited. ing for Aldridge. “Anna Mary,” Deal He knew he couldn’t survive another said, “we have your man. He’s alive.” swim. If he was still in the water at sundown, he decided, he would tie n the weeks after Aldridge’s rescue, himself to the buoy. That way, his par- I talked to several local fisher- ents would have something to bury. Imen about the search, and most of them teared up as they recounted he crew in the Jayhawk heli- the story. The inescapable risk of their copter had been staring at the jobs goes mostly unspoken in their T water since about 7 a.m., and lives, and the improbable fact that by early afternoon, they were grow- Aldridge hadn’t drowned somehow ing discouraged. The crew finished underscored that risk even more. another search pattern—their third The person who seems least shaken of the day—and requested a new one. by the experience is John Aldridge. He From the command center, Davis has no nightmares, no flashbacks, no radioed coordinates, and at 2:46 p.m., fear when he goes out on the water the helicopter started moving again. to work. The Coast Guard pilots and Twelve minutes later, Lieuten- the men in New Haven express pride ant Jamros called out, “Mark! Mark! when they talk about their work that Mark!”—protocol when an object has day, and when Aldridge talks about it, been spotted. There was John Aldridge, he sounds the same way: “I always felt sitting on the rope between his two like I was conditioning myself for that buoys, clutching his boots and waving situation. Thank God they saved me. frantically. After Aldridge was safely in But I felt I did my part.”

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90 | 06•2014 | rd.com That’s Outrageous! QUIZ: GUESS WHOM THEY SUED

A ROMANIAN MAN was one of pornography, six thieves arrested for stealing which appealed $24 million worth of to the lawyer’s artwork from a Dutch “biological sensi- museum. But he bilities.” Since the insisted that another snafu resulted in his party was even becoming addicted more guilty. Whom to erotica, he’s siccing do you think he’s a lawyer on A) Apple, considering suing? for not warning com- A) His incompetent puter users against the partners; B) the museum, for evils of smut; B) f***book, making it too easy to pilfer the art; for having a name similar to or C) Picasso, Monet, and Gauguin Facebook; C) Facebook, for having for being so enticing. a name too similar to f***book. ANSWER: B. Last we heard, he was ANSWER: A. A lawsuit is pending. mulling it over. Source: theatlanticwire.com Source: pcmag.com

AFTER HER DIVORCE was final, a TWO MEN PULLED GUNS in a British woman filed a claim against Pittsburgh-area bar and went all A) her husband, for driving her to Wild West–y. When the smoke divorce; B) the judge, for gaveling cleared, both gunslingers were in too loudly; C) her lawyers, who the hospital, and one had a $20,000 neglected to tell her that divorce lawsuit in his sights against A) the would result in her marriage ending. other guy, for laughing at his Shirley ANSWER: C. The case was dismissed. Temple order; B) the gun manufac- Source: independent.co.uk turer, for enabling each man to shoot the other; C) the booze makers, for RATHER THAN TYPING facebook making the men stupid drunk. into his Apple computer’s browser, ANSWER: Actually, D. The bar, a Tennessee lawyer inadvertently for neglecting to check that they typed f***book. Shockingly, it weren’t armed. The charges were turned out that the site contained shot down. Source: pittsburghlive.com

ILLUSTRATION BY NISHANT CHOKSI rd.com | 06•2014 | 91 HUMAN INTEREST

Gil and Eleanor Kraus were a well-to-do American couple who risked everything to rescue 50 children from the Nazis

BY STEVEN PRESSMAN ADAPTED FROM 50 CHILDRENS A safety drill aboard the SS President Harding, with Gil and Eleanor in the middle

SavedThe Ones They

rd.com | 06•2014 | 93 THE ONES THEY SAVED

N A CHILLY EVENING in early January 1939, Eleanor Kraus looked around her dining room O and carefully inspected the gleaming china dishes, polished silverware, and sparkling crystal wineglasses that had been neatly laid out on the table. Her husband, Gil, had not yet come home from his law office in downtown Philadelphia, but Eleanor was already dressed for the evening. Their niece was bringing her fiancé to dinner, and Eleanor, as always, wanted everything to shine.

A few minutes later, Gil walked comfortable life and putting himself through the front door of the couple’s in danger. spacious home, removing his overcoat Earlier that afternoon, he and his and setting down his worn leather friend Louis Levine had begun hatch- briefcase. “There is something I need ing a plan: to rescue Jewish children to discuss with you,” he said. Eleanor trapped inside Nazi Germany. Both followed him upstairs and sat down men were leaders of Brith Sholom, beside him as he shaved and dressed a national Jewish fraternal orga- for dinner. nization that had recently built a She listened quietly as Gil began summer camp outside Philadelphia, describing what sounded like a far- including a large stone house with fetched idea. The newspapers had 25 bedrooms. Wouldn’t it be wonder- been filled with articles about the ful, Gil said, if they could fill it with increasingly brutal conditions for Jews children—two to a room—who would living under Adolf Hitler’s regime. Less otherwise face a terrifying future in than two months earlier, in the horrific Hitler’s Germany. rampage known as Kristallnacht—the As he finished dressing, Gil turned Night of Broken Glass—hundreds of to his wife and told her he intended synagogues in Germany and Austria to go to Germany to carry out the had been desecrated and burned mission. He asked her if she would to the ground. Jewish-owned busi- accompany him. “No one in his right nesses had been looted and destroyed. mind would go into Nazi Germany,” Thousands of Jewish men had been Eleanor protested. “I’d be too scared to summarily arrested and sent off to set foot in that country, assuming the concentration camps. storm troopers would even let us in.” Gil was determined to do something Her thoughts turned to her children,

to help, even if it meant disrupting his 13-year-old Steven and nine-year-old PRODUCTIONS PERLEPRESS PREVIOUS SPREAD: COURTESY

94 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

During WWII, Gil Kraus closed his law practice and worked at the Philadelphia Record. Eleanor volunteered with the U.S. Army, helping to monitor for enemy air raids.

Ellen. She and Gil had never been rigid immigration policy. Despite the away from them at the same time. desperate situation facing Jews in But Eleanor knew how stubborn her Europe—and the fact that, at that husband could be, so she was not sur- point, Hitler was allowing them to prised when Gil told her he had already leave—the United States imposed strict made plans to go to Washington, DC, quotas on refugees. To make matters to propose the rescue to U.S. govern- worse, throughout the 1930s, a num- ment officials, in particular George ber of State Department officials had Messersmith, a former U.S. minister done little to conceal their anti-Jewish to Austria who was now serving as attitudes. For instance, James Wilkin- assistant secretary of state. Messersmith son, who worked in the visa division, had worked at the American embassy once warned that easing the nation’s in Berlin and was acutely aware of the immigration laws would create “a mounting Nazi threat. grave risk that Jews would flood the In the following days, Gil im- United States.”

COURTESY THE KRAUS FAMILY (2) FAMILY THE KRAUS COURTESY mersed himself in the United States’ But Gil remained fixed on the plan

rd.com | 06•2014 | 95 THE ONES THEY SAVED to rescue children. While reviewing Several days after arriving in Europe, immigration records, he discovered the men made their way to Vienna. A that approved visas sometimes went year earlier, in March 1938, Hitler had unclaimed. Would it be possible, he swallowed Austria into the Third Reich wondered, to set aside unused visas and immediately began a campaign to for Jewish children whose parents were rid the country of its roughly 200,000 already on waiting lists to come here? Jews. Jewish leaders in Vienna had Messersmith, always the diplomat, been working feverishly to help fami- said it was an “intriguing” idea. Within lies leave, and Gil had been advised by days, Gil sent a letter to Messersmith, American embassy officials to select detailing his proposed mission and children for the rescue mission from stating that there were “ample private that city, where conditions were dete- funds to provide transportation of the riorating at an alarming pace. children from Germany to Philadel- Once he got to Vienna, Gil placed phia and for their support, mainte- an urgent telephone call to Eleanor. nance, and education.” Finally, Gil said In spite of the State Department warn- that he and Eleanor were prepared to ings, he asked her to join him as soon go to Germany themselves to select as she could. “There is so much work the children and escort them back to to do here and very little time,” he told the United States. her. “I need you to come.” By now, Eleanor shared her hus- Eleanor booked passage on the next band’s commitment. She threw ship to Europe. herself into the job of obtaining affi- When she arrived, Gil warned her davits from friends and others willing that the secret police would monitor to guarantee support of the children, their every move. Their rooms would despite the awkwardness of asking be searched daily. Signs proclaiming them to reveal their bank balances. Juden verboten—“Jews forbidden”— By early spring, she had completed greeted them wherever they went. 54 documents—four extra, just in case. Buildings were covered with swasti- Right before the couple were to sail, kas, and images of Hitler hung in every however, a State Department aide shop window. warned Eleanor not to accompany Hundreds of Austrian Jews were des- her husband: War was imminent in perate enough to want to send their Europe. Despondent over going on his children away—without knowing if own, Gil persuaded Dr. Robert Schless, they would ever see them again. As a family friend who was their children’s word spread about the transport mis- pediatrician, to join him. “I shed a few sion, families lined up outside a Jewish tears very quietly,” Eleanor said later. community center for a chance to meet “I prayed for their safe return.” with the Krauses. One child recalled

96 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

The children play at Brith Sholom’s camp in the summer of ’39. Hopes of bringing another 50 were dashed when war broke out that September.

years later, “I’ll never forget stand- as if we had drawn up in a lifeboat ing there in that line with my mother. in a most turbulent sea. Each parent There were all these other people there seemed to say, ‘Here, yes, freely, gladly, who threw stones and tomatoes at us take my child to a safer shore.’” and called us all kinds of names.” The With each passing day, Eleanor’s children’s parents had already applied heart grew heavier as she realized for visas to America, but the waiting list that most of the children would be was daunting. More than 25,000 Jews left behind. She and Gil knew that from Vienna had applied in the last ten any who were sick would likely be days of March alone. turned away by immigration officials. Gil, who spoke a little German, inter- The children also had to be able to viewed parents who pleaded with him withstand the separation from their to take their children. Eleanor found parents, so Dr. Schless, who was help- it almost unbearable to imagine what ing with screenings, advised against was going through their minds. “To taking anyone under age five. Ulti- take a child from his mother seemed mately, the 50 painstakingly chosen to be the lowest thing a human being children—the oldest of whom was

COURTESY ROBERT BRAUN ROBERT COURTESY could do,” she wrote later. “Yet it was 14—included seven sets of siblings.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 97 THE ONES THEY SAVED

One girl pleaded unsuccessfully for her baby sister, who was too young. As Gil and Eleanor finalized their list, terrifying new problems arose. An officer at the American consulate in Vienna challenged Eleanor’s affidavits; another told Gil that the visas might not come through for months. With the fate of their mission hanging in the balance, Gil and Eleanor rushed to Berlin to speak with Ray- mond Geist, the senior American official at the embassy. He assured Eleanor that her affidavits were in perfect shape, but he couldn’t guarantee any visas. That decision would have to wait until the children showed up at the embassy. The couple returned to Vienna to gather the children, each of whom was allowed just one small suitcase. Be- Heinrich Steinberger was taken off the list fore they could take their chances at of 50 children when he became ill before the embassy, each child would need the group left Vienna. He died three years a passport from the Nazis. This led later at the Sobibor death camp. to a tense meeting with a Gestapo officer, who demanded to know why the Krauses had come to Vienna in the any parents who so much as raised first place. “We have come to take 50 an arm could be arrested. “Their Jewish children to America,” Gil replied eyes were fixed on the faces of their forthrightly. Finally, after more intense children,” Eleanor remembered later. questioning, the officer relented. “Their mouths were smiling. But their On the evening of May 21, 1939, eyes were red and strained. No one the children and their parents waited waved. It was the most heartbreak- quietly for hours on a dark platform at ing show of dignity and bravery I had the Vienna train station. Storm troop- ever witnessed.” ers and attack dogs were everywhere. The group arrived in Berlin the next Eleanor was shocked to learn that the morning, still without any assurance parents could not even wave goodbye of visas. Eleanor could not imagine to their children. Jews were not per- having to return any of the children

mitted to give the Nazi salute, and to Vienna. Exhausted and homesick, OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE/JERUSALEM THE HISTORY CENTRAL ARCHIVES FOR COURTESY

98 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST they entered the American embassy with help from Brith Sholom, almost a and waited to be interviewed. Finally, third of the Austrian parents got visas Gil sat down next to Eleanor with a and were reunited with their children. look of immense relief. “There are 50 Several more succeeded in coming to visas waiting for us,” he whispered. America during and after the war, but “Our worries are over.” others perished in the Holocaust. A day later, the Krauses, Dr. Schless, Gil Kraus died in 1975, and Eleanor and all 50 children boarded the in 1989. Roughly half of the children SS President Harding in Hamburg and they rescued are still alive. Now in their sailed beyond Hitler’s grasp. During 80s, most have lived full and productive the ten-day voyage, Gil and Dr. Schless lives as doctors, lawyers, writers, teach- gave daily English lessons. ers, and business executives. Along the After the ship arrived in New York way, they also became husbands and City on June 3, the children spent the wives, parents and grandparents—and, summer at the Brith Sholom camp. in some cases, great-grandparents. There they continued to learn English, In Europe, the Holocaust claimed wrote letters home, and concentrated the lives of 1.5 million children. on their new lives in America. Extra Only about 1,000 “unaccompanied” counselors, nurses, and staff took care children—those traveling without their of them. Gil spent countless hours parents—were allowed into the United writing to the families in Vienna and States. The 50 saved by Gil and Eleanor working on the children’s future living comprised the largest single group. arrangements. By Labor Day, all 50 had been sent to live with relatives or foster Steven Pressman’s book 50 Children: One families, including two—Robert and Ordinary American Couple’s Extraordinary Johanna Braun—who lived with the Rescue Mission into the Heart of Nazi Germany (HarperCollins, 2014) is based Krauses for two years. on an HBO documentary that Pressman Within a year of the rescue mission, wrote, produced, and directed.

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Punch Line Pioneers “Get Me Out of Here!” You won’t believe who really Real-life stories of people trapped in invented cat memes, emoticons, ice caves and under the sea and stand-up comedy—or when they did it PLUS: A Day in the Life of Your Skin

rd.com | 06•2014 | 99

PASTIME

When you read while you wander, your destination All I mayNeed be a surprise for a Walk Is a Good Book

BY MICHAEL P. BRANCH FROM HIGH COUNTRY NEWS

ILLUSTRATION BY CATHIE BLECK ALL I NEED FOR A WALK IS A GOOD BOOK

IN THE DESERT WEST, behavior that might elsewhere be considered inexplicable, idiosyncratic, and even indefensible is tolerated— sometimes even encouraged. But as my ten-year-old daughter, Hannah, becomes more concerned about what is normal and more worried about whether our family qualifies for that distinction, she barrages me with unanswerable questions.

Why do I correct baseball radio helping us to place ourselves within it. announcers who can’t hear me and A good book, like a good hike, takes tell chicken-crossing-the-road jokes us away from home and into a series to our hens? Why do I use fishing of surprises that ultimately gives the poles to fly kites? Why have I nick- concept of home its meaning. named my chain saw (Landshark) and Reading and walking have another my Weedwacker (Cujo)? And why, of thing in common: Although most of course, do I so often wear no pants? us know how to do both of them, we Sometimes I wish my kid would ask seldom seem to do either. As Mark about something simple, like mortal- Twain put it, “The man who does not ity, God, or where babies come from. read has no advantage over the man Recently, Hannah asked, “Dad, why who cannot read.” Might we say the do you read while you walk?” same about a person who has healthy Every year, I hike about 1,300 miles legs but refuses to walk? around these desert wilds outside While Karl Marx made some per- Reno, and I probably read my way ceptive pronouncements about the through 800 of them. I became a bib- value of books, it was the wiser Marx, liopedestrian so long ago that I’ve Groucho, who observed that “outside forgotten why I do it. But in search of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. of an honest answer for Hannah, I’ve Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” been excavating those reasons. A book, like a dog, is good company, For starters, walking and reading and I just don’t cotton to heading out are similar in many ways. Both are on a hike without taking both along forms of exercise, one working out with me. I also like the contrasts a the body; the other, the mind. Both carefully chosen book can create with are excellent when pursued in soli- the landscape through which I move. tude. Each gets us from one place to There’s nothing like being on the river another, and yet the main purpose with Twain or at sea with Melville or is always the journey rather than the by the pond with Thoreau while I’m destination. They enlarge our sense of shuffling through the sagebrush and the world, expanding the territory and alkali dust. When it gets hot, I love

102 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

Barry Lopez’s Arctic Dreams or Rick becomes a game of peekaboo: Now Bass’s Winter. When it gets cold and you don’t see it, now you do. One windy, I go to the Hawaiian Islands in afternoon, I looked up from a book to the poetry of W. S. Merwin. see a pronghorn buck chiseled against Even John Muir, who is surely among a rocky ridgeline above me. That eve- the most celebrated of walkers, packed ning, as it became too dark to see books on the trail. Muir was also famil- the page, I lifted my head to witness iar with the “book of nature,” a trope the thinnest possible crescent moon, known to many cultures, both ancient in close conjunction with Venus, float- and modern. Liber naturae, the book ing above the summit ridge of my of nature, is the idea that the natural home mountain. world is a form of sacred text and that When we read a travel guidebook the revelation of its meaning depends while walking in a city, or a natural upon our willingness to read it care- history field guide in a forest, we are fully. Seen in this light, the world of considered normal. It is understood the book and the book of the world are that we need the book to recognize intimately related. and name the things of this world Of course, I’m no Muir, and I’m and to prevent ourselves from be- more Groucho than Karl. And this is coming lost within it. As I explained a wide-open desert with a thousand to Hannah, good writing plays the hazards. It is true that I have on a same orienting role: It can help us number of occasions read myself into discover where we are and reveal why trouble while on the hoof—stepping our connections to each other and to onto harvester ant mounds or into the world we walk through every day ground squirrel tunnels or invading are so precious in the first place. the space of Great Basin rattlers. But Though Hannah insists that I’m most of the surprises that come from “totally not like other dads,” she seemed simultaneous reading and hiking are convinced by my reasoning. “Yeah, good ones because looking from the Dad, I can see that,” she said. “Now, world to the page and back again what about that no-pants thing?”

THE OTHER PIGSKIN

Once you put bacon in a salad, it’s no longer a salad. It just becomes a game of Find the Bacon in the Lettuce.

JIM GAFFIGAN

rd.com | 06•2014 | 103 Julie got a call at work from her husband: “I’m dying,” he said. MEDICAL DRAMA

Both her husband and father needed a kidney transplant. Julie Stitt had only one to give. Or did she?

“I Gave Kidneys”

BY MICHELE WOJCIECHOWSKI

ON A BEAUTIFUL MARCH DAY IN 2004, Chuck Stitt stood in the middle2 of the Little Patuxent River in Columbia, Maryland, a fishing rod in his hand and the cool water flowing around his boots. He cast his line, then waited for a trout to bite. Instead, and without warning, Chuck’s world went black—he was completely blind.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY ROBYN TWOMEY rd.com | 06•2014 | 105 “I GAVE TWO KIDNEYS”

HUCK WAS ALONE in a “When I heard that, I thought it was secluded area, plunged a death sentence,” says Chuck. into darkness and strug- He drove himself to the ER at How- gling to keep his balance ard County General Hospital. After in the middle of a river. admitting Chuck to the intensive care CHe couldn’t even call someone for unit, doctors inserted a catheter into help—he’d left his cell phone at home. his neck so he could receive dialysis Chuck dropped his rod and moved treatment. Typically, dialysis lasts slowly through the water, stepping about four hours. But Chuck’s con- carefully until he felt the riverbank dition was so severe, his treatment under his feet. spanned a day and a half. Now a rocky, 100-foot-high hill and When the hospital told Chuck and a half mile of blacktop lay between his wife, Julie, that Chuck could qual- him and his pickup truck. “I knew I ify for a kidney transplant, Julie asked had to make it back up that hill and to be tested as a potential match. But to the trail, where there was a chance Chuck wouldn’t allow it. The youngest that joggers might find me,” recalls of their three children was in middle Chuck, now 52. “Luckily, I was famil- school, and he wanted Julie to focus iar with the place.” on caring for them instead. He proceeded slowly, with his arms Without a new kidney immediately extended to avoid walking into trees. available, Chuck was put on a trans- Eventually reaching his truck, he plant list at the University of Maryland climbed inside and sat in the driver’s Medical Center (UMMC). He contin- seat, unable to drive or contact any- ued dialysis treatments three times a E ARTIST AGENCY E ARTIST one. After a few hours, the darkness week while waiting for a donor. • H turned to light as his sight gradually • returned. When he could see well New Kidney, New enough to drive, he made a beeline to Problems his doctor’s office. Three and a half years later, Chuck finally received a kidney transplant. (It It Gets Worse can take up to seven years to receive Chuck’s doctor ran blood work. Two a kidney.) While the surgery was suc- days later, the stunned physician cessful, the aftermath was not—the called Chuck and ordered him to go to transplanted kidney never performed the ER immediately. The tests showed beyond 50 percent capacity. It began that his level of creatinine, a natural to fail a year later, and Chuck landed waste by-product produced by muscle in the hospital when the antirejec- activity, was sky-high—an indication tion drugs he was given built up in his

that he was in full kidney failure. system until they reached dangerous T FOR HEYDT SUSAN HAIR AND MAKEUP STYLIST:

106 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST levels. He was placed recipients. If a live donor on dialysis again. Once When the second wants to give a kidney to more, Julie offered to a friend or relative but is undergo testing to deter- transplant failed, incompatible with the mine whether she was a Chuck turned recipient, the program possible donor. Again, ensures that the donor Chuck rejected the idea. to Julie and gets listed as a poten- In 2011, a deceased- finally asked, tial donor to another donor kidney was deter- recipient. In exchange, mined to be a match for “Could you the donor’s friend or Chuck. Deceased-donor please help me?” relative is guaranteed a kidneys come from a kidney from a matching donor who very recently donor on the list. died. A live-donor kidney—one from Julie registered with the program a living, healthy person—is preferable to donate one kidney to an anony- because it poses less of a risk of rejec- mous person in need, thus securing tion, and it normally lasts longer. But a compatible kidney for Chuck. But Chuck was in no position to wait for because she was starting a new job as one. The transplant surgery at UMMC a second-grade teacher in the fall, she was successful, but Chuck’s body was requested that her surgery take place soon riddled with infections. Other the following summer, in 2013, so that complications followed, including a it wouldn’t interfere with her first year hernia: One morning, he woke up to at school. find his internal organs protruding In December 2012, just before through his surgical scar. Chuck was scheduled to begin dialy- As time passed, the second trans- sis again, he received a phone call. plant began to fail, forcing Chuck PKE had found a match. to reverse himself and ask his wife, This time, Chuck received a new “Could you please help me?” live-donor kidney, and there were no infections or rejections following Julie Registers the surgery, just a kidney functioning Julie was tested and learned her blood the way it was supposed to. type was not a match. But another option soon presented itself. In April Another Heartbreak 2012, she discovered UMMC’s Paired While Chuck was undergoing the Kidney Exchange (PKE) program tortuous process leading up to his and signed up. The PKE works with successful transplant, his father-in- organizations such as the National law was having health problems of Kidney Registry to match donors with his own.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 107 “I GAVE TWO KIDNEYS”

Julie’s father, Richard Kern, had Richard (left) and Chuck were lucky. been diagnosed with diabetes al- Last year, 99,000 people needed a most 50 years earlier, at the age of kidney—only 14,000 got one. 25. During a nearly fatal heart bypass surgery in 2010, Richard’s kidneys mainly because it’s not fair to jump had failed. He began dialysis, and the system,” explains David Leeser, his kidneys rebounded. But in June MD, who runs the PKE program. “Mrs. 2012, his kidneys failed again. Due to Stitt’s kidney was donated on behalf of an acute shortage of live donors, he her husband, and it needed to go to was placed on the transplant list to whoever was the next recipient on the wait for a deceased donor. In August, list in the exchange program.” he again began dialysis treatments. In June 2013, Richard received word “I had my suspicions that eventually from Laurie Thompson, coordinator Dad would need a kidney transplant,” of PKE, that a kidney was available, but says Julie. But by committing to do- it proved not viable after all. nating a kidney to the PKE program A month later, Richard got another to help her husband receive a kidney, call from Thompson: A live, match- she couldn’t help her father. She and ing donor was available with a viable Richard pleaded with PKE to allow her kidney. Richard was scheduled for donated kidney to be given to Rich- surgery on July 16, 2013. The donor, ard. Her request was denied. of course, would remain anonymous. “I was really emphatic about that, “Recipients and donors must remain

108 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST anonymous throughout the surgery,” room. He then gave the room number. says Thompson. “If, after the surgery, It was Julie’s. they choose to contact one another, that’s done through the coordina- What Were the Odds? tors. They give us notes, and we pass Richard’s surgery was a success, and them on.” his new kidney is working well. No Julie had also received a call to one is happier about that than Julie. schedule her surgery on the very same How often is it that a daughter can day—at a different time and on a dif- give life to her father? ferent floor, however, from her dad’s. “I didn’t want to say anything,” she On the morning of the surgery, says, admitting that she had a gut Richard, surrounded by his wife, feeling her father would receive her Donna, and Chuck, underwent a pre- kidney. “I didn’t want to jinx it. It was surgical checkup. Considering the miraculous that I was able to help severity of any operation, not to men- both my husband and my father. It tion the family’s track record when it was a blessing.” came to successful kidney transplants, What are the odds of one donor sav- it was understandable that the trio ing two lives? Says PKE’s Thompson, were anxious. But then they got news they must be phenomenal: “We all that brought a smile to their faces. said this family had a guardian angel They overheard a hospital worker sitting on their shoulders directing say that he was going to the donor’s this whole affair.”

I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY ALMOST NAMED IT THAT …

FAMOUS BOOK WORKING TITLE Gone with the Wind Pansy MARGARET MITCHELL The Red Badge of Courage Private Fleming; His Various Battles STEPHEN CRANE Farewell, My Lovely Zounds, He Dies RAYMOND CHANDLER Bleak House Tom-All-Alone’s Factory That Got CHARLES DICKENS into Chancery and Never Got Out Jaws What’s That Noshin’ on My Laig? PETER BENCHLEY (SUGGESTED BY THE AUTHOR’S FATHER)

FROM NOW ALL WE NEED IS A TITLE, BY ANDRE BERNARD

rd.com | 06•2014 | 109 NATIONAL INTEREST

What do Chinese Americans, Nigerian Americans, and Cuban Americans have in common? Three surprising traits that have driven them to the top. WHY SOME GROUPS SUCCEED BY AMY CHUA AND JED RUBENFELD FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

A SEEMINGLY UN-AMERICAN fact about America today is that for some groups, much more than others, upward mobility and the American dream are alive and well. It may be taboo to say it, but certain ethnic, religious, and national-origin groups are doing strikingly better than Americans overall.

110 | 06•2014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY CHRISSIE ABBOTT

WHY SOME GROUPS SUCCEED

Indian Americans earn almost States through employment-based double the national figure (roughly channels, almost half of all Indian $90,000 per year in median house- immigrants and over half of Chinese hold income versus $50,000). Iranian, immigrants do not enter the country Lebanese, and Chinese Americans under those criteria. Many are poor are also high earners. In the past 30 and poorly educated. Comprehen- years, Mormons have become lead- sive data published by the Russell ers of corporate America, holding top Sage Foundation in 2013 showed that positions in many of America’s most the children of Chinese, Korean, and recognizable companies. These facts Vietnamese immigrants experienced don’t make some groups “better” than exceptional upward mobility regard- others, and material success cannot less of their parents’ socioeconomic be equated with a well-lived life —but or educational backgrounds. willful blindness to facts is never a Merely stating the fact that certain good policy. groups do better than others—as mea- Jewish success is the most his- sured by income, test scores, and so torically fraught and the most broad on—is enough to provoke a firestorm based. Although Jews make up only in America today and even charges about 2 percent of the United States’ of racism. The irony is that the facts adult population, they account for a actually debunk racial stereotypes. third of the current Supreme Court, There are some black and Hispanic over two thirds of Tony Award–winning groups in America who far outper- lyricists and composers, and about a form some white and Asian groups. third of American Nobel laureates. Immigrants from many West Indian and African countries, such as Groups Don’t Stay at the Jamaica, Ghana, and Haiti, are climb- Top for Long ing America’s higher-education ladder, The most comforting explanation of but perhaps the most prominent are these facts is that they are mere arti- Nigerians. Nigerians make up less than facts of class—rich parents passing on 1 percent of the black population in advantages to their children—or of the United States, yet in 2013 nearly immigrants arriving in this country one quarter of the black students with high skill and education levels. at Harvard Business School were of Important as these factors are, they Nigerian ancestry; over a fourth explain only a small part of the picture. of Nigerian Americans have a gradu- Today’s wealthy Mormon business- ate or professional degree, compared people often started from humble ori- with only about 11 percent of whites. gins. Although India and China send Cuban Americans in Miami rose

the most immigrants to the United in one generation from widespread (MAN IN WHITE HAT) TIM GRAHAM/CORBIS PREVIOUS PAGE:

112 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

penury to relative affluence. By 1990, communities in central Appalachia. U.S.–born Cuban children—whose Most fundamentally, groups rise parents had arrived as exiles, many and fall over time. The fortunes of with practically nothing—were twice WASP elites have been declining for as likely as non-Hispanic whites to decades. In 1960, second-generation earn more than $50,000 a year. All Greek Americans reportedly had three Hispanic U.S. senators are the second-highest income of any Cuban Americans. census-tracked group; by 2010, they Meanwhile, some Asian American had dropped to number 29. Group groups—Cambodian and Hmong success in America often tends to dis- Americans, for example—are among sipate after two generations. Thus, the poorest in the country, as while Asian American kids overall had are some predominantly white SAT scores 143 points above average

EXAMPLES OF EXCELLENCE

(Clockwise from top left) Author Amy Tan was born in Oakland, California, to Chinese immigrants. Her debut novel, The Joy Luck Club, was translated into 25 languages and became a 1993 film. Emmy Award–winning Dr. Sanjay Gupta, an Indian American, is a practicing neurosurgeon as well as CNN’s chief medical correspondent. DJ Casey Kasem, born in Michigan to a Lebanese father and Lebanese American mother, pioneered the American Top 40 radio countdown. Gloria Estefan, whose family emigrated from Cuba in 1959, was the first pop star to perform for a pope. She’s the winner of seven Grammy Awards. Elie Tahari grew up in an Israeli orphanage and in 1971 moved to New York City, where he transitioned from electrician to world-renowned fashion designer. Three years later, he was one of the first designers to open a Madison Avenue boutique. Retired basketball player Hakeem Olajuwon, a 12-time NBA All-Star and one of the league’s all-time greats, was born in Nigeria. He moved to the United States to play basketball at the University of Houston. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: AMY SUSSMAN/GETTY IMAGES. FREDERICK M. BROWN/GETTY IMAGES. IMAGES. FREDERICK M. BROWN/GETTY IMAGES. AMY SUSSMAN/GETTY LEFT: FROM TOP CLOCKWISE IMAGES BOB LEVEY/GETTY IMAGES. LOVEKIN/GETTY STEPHEN IMAGES. MANNY HERNANDEZ/GETTY IMAGES. MICHAEL TULLBERG/GETTY

rd.com | 06•2014 | 113 WHY SOME GROUPS SUCCEED in 2012—including a 63-point edge sacrifice present gratification in pur- over whites—an earlier study of over suit of future attainment. 20,000 adolescents found that third- Ironically, each element of the generation Asian American students Triple Package violates a core tenet of performed no better academically contemporary American thinking. We than white students. know that group superiority claims are specious and dangerous, yet A Belief That They’re the every one of America’s most successful Best and the Worst groups tells itself that it’s exceptional The fact that groups rise and fall in a deep sense. Mormons believe this way punctures the whole idea they are “gods in embryo” placed on of “model minorities” or that groups earth to lead the world to salvation. succeed because of innate, biological differences. Rather, there are cultural forces at work. It turns out that for all their diversity, the strikingly A CHIP ON THE successful groups in America today SHOULDER, A NEED share three traits that, together, pro- TO PROVE ONESELF, pel success. The first is a superiority IMPULSE CONTROL: complex—a deep-seated belief in your THIS UNSTABLE MIX exceptionality. The second appears to GENERATES DRIVE. be the opposite—insecurity, a feeling that you or what you’ve done is not good enough. The third is impulse Middle East experts and many Iranians control. explicitly refer to a Persian “superior- Any individual, from any back- ity complex.” At their first Passover ground, can have what we call this Seders, most Jewish children hear Triple Package of traits. But research that Jews are the “chosen” people; shows that some groups are instilling later they may be taught that Jews are it more frequently than others and a moral people, a people of law and that they are enjoying greater success. intellect, a people of survivors. It’s odd to think of people feeling Feelings of inadequacy are cause simultaneously superior and insecure. for concern or even therapy; parents Yet it’s precisely this unstable combi- deliberately instilling insecurity in nation that generates drive: a chip on their children is almost unthinkable. the shoulder, a goading need to prove Yet insecurity runs deep in every one oneself. Add impulse control—the of America’s rising groups; and con- ability to resist temptation—and the sciously or unconsciously, they tend result is people who systematically to pass it on to their children.

114 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

A central finding in a study of more never your education, so study harder. than 5,000 immigrants’ children led by Newcomers and religious minori- the sociologist Rubén G. Rumbaut was ties may face derision or hostility. how frequently the kids felt “motivated Cubans fleeing to Miami after Fidel to achieve” because of an acute sense Castro’s takeover reported seeing of obligation to redeem their parents’ signs reading “No dogs, no Cubans” sacrifices. Numerous studies, includ- on apartment buildings. During the ing in-depth fieldwork conducted 2012 election cycle, Mormons heard by the Harvard sociologist Vivian Mitt Romney’s clean-cut sons de- S. Louie, reveal Chinese immigrant scribed as “creepy” in the media. In parents frequently impose exorbitant combination with a superiority com- academic expectations on their chil- plex, the feeling of being scorned can dren (“Why only a 99 on your test?”), be a powerful motivator. making them feel that “family honor” Finally, impulse control runs depends on their success. against the grain of contemporary By contrast, white American parents culture as well. Countless books and have been found to be more focused feel-good movies extol the virtue of on building children’s social skills living in the here and now, and people and self-esteem. There’s an ocean of who control their impulses don’t live difference between “You’re amaz- in the moment. By contrast, every one ing. Mommy and Daddy never want of America’s most successful groups you to worry about a thing” and “If takes a very different view of child- you don’t do well at school, you’ll let hood, inculcating habits of discipline down the family and end up a bum on from a very early age—or at least they the streets.” In a study of thousands of did so when they were on the rise. high school students, Asian American Needless to say, high-achieving students reported the lowest self- groups don’t instill these qualities in esteem of any racial group, even as all their members. They don’t have they racked up the highest grades. to. A culture producing, say, four high Moreover, being an outsider in a achievers out of ten would attain wildly society—and America’s most suc- disproportionate success if the sur- cessful groups are all outsiders in one rounding average was one out of 20. way or another—is a source of insecurity in itself. Immigrants worry about A Dark Side to the whether they can survive in a strange Triple Package land, often communicating a sense of But this success comes at a price. life’s precariousness to their children. Each of the three traits has its own Hence the common credo: They can pathologies. Impulse control can take away your home or business but undercut the ability to experience

rd.com | 06•2014 | 115 WHY SOME GROUPS SUCCEED beauty, tranquillity, and spontaneous focused on prestige and money, too joy. Insecure people feel like they’re concerned with external measures of never good enough. “I grew up think- their own worth. ing that I would never, ever please It’s not easy for minority groups my parents,” recalls the novelist Amy in America to maintain a superior- Tan. “It’s a horrible feeling.” Recent ity complex. For most of its history, studies suggest that Asian American America did pretty much everything youths have greater rates of stress a country could do to impose a nar- (but, despite media reports to the rative of inferiority on its nonwhite contrary, lower rates of suicide). minorities and especially its black A superiority complex can be even population. Over and over, African more invidious. Group supremacy Americans have fought back against this narrative, but its legacy persists. The same factors that cause poverty— discrimination, prejudice, shrinking AMERICA HAS BEEN opportunity—can sap from a group AT ITS BEST WHEN the cultural forces that propel success. IT’S HAD TO OVERCOME Once that happens, poverty becomes ADVERSITY. more entrenched. In these circum- IT HAS THAT CHANCE stances, it takes much more grit, more AGAIN TODAY. drive, and perhaps a more exceptional individual to break out. One reason groups with the cultural claims have been a source of oppres- package we’ve described have such an sion, war, and genocide throughout advantage in America today lies in the history. To be sure, a group superior- very same factors that are shrinking ity complex somehow feels less ugly opportunity for so many of the coun- when it’s used by an outsider minor- try’s poor. Disappearing blue-collar ity as an army against majority preju- jobs and greater returns to increas- dices and hostility, but ethnic pride ingly competitive higher education or religious zeal can turn all too easily give a tremendous edge to groups who into intolerance of its own. disproportionately produce individu- Even when it functions relatively als driven, especially at a young age, benignly as an engine of success, the to excel and to sacrifice present satis- combination of these three traits can factions for long-term gains. still be imprisoning—precisely be- The good news is that it’s not a cause of the kind of success it tends magic gene generating these groups’ to promote. Individuals striving for success. Nor is it some 5,000-year-old material success can easily become too “education culture” that only they

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© 2014 Consumer Cellullar, Inc. New service activation on approved credit. Cellular service is not available in all areas and is subject to system limitations. Terms and Conditions subject to change. *If you’re not satisfi ed within the fi rst 30 days, 30 minutes, 30 text messages or 30MB of data use, whichever comes fi rst, cancel and pay nothing, no questions asked. AARP member benefi ts are provided by third parties, not by AARP or its affi liates. Providers pay a royalty fee to AARP for the use of its intellectual property. These fees are used for the general purposes of AARP. Some provider off ers are subject to change and may have restrictions. Please contact the provider directly for details. WHY SOME GROUPS SUCCEED have access to. Instead their success is were bigger than Europe’s), and a significantly propelled by three simple Puritan inheritance of impulse control. qualities open to anyone. But prosperity and power had their Developing this package of quali- predictable effect, turning insecu- ties—not that it’s easy or that everyone rity inside out and eroding the self- would want to—requires turning the restraint that led to these gains. By ability to work hard, to persevere, and 2000, all that remained was our su- to overcome adversity into a source of periority complex, which by itself personal superiority. This superiority is mere swagger, fueling a culture complex isn’t ethnically or religiously of entitlement and instant gratifica- exclusive. It’s the pride a person takes tion. So the trials of recent years—the in his or her own strength of will. wars, the financial collapse, the rise of Research shows that perseverance China—have, perversely, had a ben- and motivation can be taught, espe- eficial effect: the return of insecurity. cially to children. This supports those Those who talk of America’s who, like Nobel Prize–winning econ- “decline” miss this crucial point. omist James J. Heckman, argue that America has always been at its best education dollars for the underprivi- when it has had to overcome adver- leged are best spent on early interven- sity and prove its mettle on the world tion, beginning at preschool age. stage. For better and worse, it has that The United States itself was born a opportunity again today. Triple Package nation, with an out- size belief in its own exceptionality, Wife and husband Amy Chua and Jed Ru- a fierce desire to prove itself to aris- benfeld are professors at Yale Law School tocratic Europe (President Thomas and the parents of two daughters. They are the authors of the book The Triple Package: Jefferson sent a giant moose carcass to How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise Paris to prove that America’s animals and Fall of Cultural Groups in America.

HANDS-OFF PARENTING

Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary: The baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I’d have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.

RITA RUDNER

118 | 06•2014 | rd.com Laugh Lines FROM HERE TO PATERNITY

I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy I got all my looks yourself something that will make from my father. your life easier.” So he went out and Mostly just the look bought a present for my mother. of disappointment. RITA RUDNER @MRBIGFISTS

Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business. JIMMY FALLON

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. MARK TWAIN

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. JON STEWART

“Dad?” —Zebra looking at a piano SAM GRITTNER PROP STYLIST: ROBIN FINLAY PROP STYLIST:

PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES rd.com | 06•2014 | 119 PHOTO OF LASTING INTEREST

Photograph by Daniel Bryant Chosen by Joel N. Myers, founder and president of AccuWeather A mile-high dust storm made history on July 5, 2011, as it swept GETTY IMAGES through Phoenix, bringing with it near-zero visibility, a trail of debris, and power outages for 10,000 customers. “This dramatic picture shows the awesome power of nature,” says Myers. “Flashier events such as tornadoes, hurricanes, and hail get more notoriety, but episodes like this can have a significant impact on people. High winds on very dry soil will whip up these kinds of storms. There’s nothing in nature that humans can control—we only have the ability to prepare people, to warn them so it’s not a surprise.” rd.com | 06•2014 | 121 CONTEST

More than 7,000 people entered our contest and gave us the Reader’s Digest version of their lives. We chose the top ten tales of love, family, insight, and inspiration. 100-Word True Stories

122 | 06•2014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATIONS BY KAGAN MCLEOD Grand-Prize Winner TIMELESS BY MICHELLE BRUEGER BENNETTSVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA ’ve always been a daddy’s girl. On road trips, we I competed over who spotted the most hawks first. Our favorite competition was, upon seeing each other, who could say the words “I love you best” first. If I got him first, Dad would reply, “I’ll get you—just wait.” My dad died the night before my 50th birthday. The next day, Mom brought me a gift, saying, “This is from your dad. He bought it for you five years ago.” Inside was a beautiful gold pocket watch. Engraved on the inside were the words I love you best—Gotcha.

Runners-Up (TIED) A BEAUTIFUL WHAT A MISTAKE GREAT RIDE BY JEFF HAMILTON BY BARBARA LAKE HAVASU CITY, ROCCHI ARIZONA NEPTUNE BEACH, FLORIDA y son was M in Kuwait t was an archaeo- in 1991, fiercely battling I logical dig. In cleaning out our the Gulf War. One awful day that family’s 12-year-old minivan to year, a Navy car pulled slowly into sell, I found LEGOs, ticket stubs, sports the parking lot of my record shop. balls of every kind, church bulletins, I froze behind the counter, unable a prom corsage, a lone shin guard … to breathe. Two uniformed sail- The heart of our married life, from the ors quietly entered my store and kids in their car seats to each kid in the began flipping through albums. driver’s seat flashing a learner’s permit. Suddenly, one of them asked, “Do Our toddler’s protests as his milkshake, you have any Elton John records?” too cold for little hands, flew forward— With a quiet sigh and a slight tear in whoosh—and hit the windshield— my eye, I told them why I thought splat! Vacations in the mountains and they were there. Both men apolo- at the beach. Doctor appointments for gized. It’s not every day you think my sweet, aging parents. My mom- you lost your son and get him back. years leave with you, old van.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 123 100-WORD TRUE STORIES The Rest of the Best

GIVING KIDS WINGS him go. Then he walked away, very BY SUSAN KELLER determined and proud in his camou- LARGO, FLORIDA flage. Once again, I tried to stop the t’s hatching!” The stage whisper tears streaming down my face. “I floated across the classroom I raised an American soldier. like a spring breeze. Noiselessly, the class of fifth graders was magneti- cally attracted to the screen-enclosed WHY I WEAR monarch chrysalis in the corner of BLACK PEARLS the classroom. The whisperer stood BY T’MARA GOODSELL silently, slack-jawed with wonder, as ST. CHARLES, MISSOURI her classmates crowded around her. hen I married, I wore white All eyes focused on the transparent W pearls. And when I divorced, I chrysalis vibrating from the roof of purchased a strand of black ones. the enclosure. The film cracked open, They don’t stand at picket fence hair-fine legs unfolded, wet wings perfect attention or march virtuously unfurled, a fat body stretched itself. across my skin. No pearls of inno- As if on cue, 26 a cappella voices be- cence, these. They are smoky, exotic. gan softly singing “Happy Birthday.” I They are sultry, sunset-lustered and stood awestruck at my students’ won- night-nacred. They are city lights in der. This is why I teach. the rain. They are oil slicks after a race. They are the anti–June Cleavers. They represent my vow that I will THE LEAVE-TAKING take me for better or for worse and BY PAULA BUCHANAN honor me all the days of my life. That WINDHAM, NEW HAMPSHIRE I will stay true to myself, always. e heard it before we saw it, W coming closer with the squeaky brakes. My son was excited and happy SING TO ME with his new backpack, sneakers, and BY ALFRED GEESON camouflage sweatshirt. As he headed MILLEDGEVILLE, GEORGIA off for his first day of school, I waved y grandfather had just been goodbye and tried to control my tears. M buried, and the grave was being Standing in the terminal, I remem- filled in when, surprisingly, my dad bered that day so vividly. I hugged began to sing “Danny Boy.” Later, he him tightly, not wanting to ever let explained that it was family tradition

124 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST to sing this song at our deceased par- center and learning that all its vehicles ents’ gravesides to sing them to sleep, were out on other business, I carefully and that when he and Mother passed, swaddled the wild bird in a towel and I would be expected to do the same. carried him to my friend’s car. The Circumstances prevented my sing- only way to keep him calm was by ing at Mother’s grave, but I did sing at singing. For 30 minutes, I sang softly my dad’s. I now live in America and to the small creature until finally have no living children; I often won- delivering him to those who could der who will sing “Danny Boy” at my help. I’m not certain what happened funeral. Who will sing me to sleep? afterward, but for that brief period, we connected—two vastly different species bridging the gap through THE GIFT song. BY MARY ELIZABETH PASCHALL AURORA, COLORADO n the late ’50s, I rode the bus ten MEANT TO BE I miles to work. I carried very little FAMILY cash and only enough bus tokens to BY MARY PRAY last each week. One night as I walked WISCASSET, MAINE to the bus stop, I met a beggar who “I am smart. I can draw and sing. had no legs. I stopped, opened my I would be so kind to a mama and billfold, and discovered that I had no baba … Why does no one want me?” money and no bus tokens. I apolo- asked 12-year-old Levi in China. Levi gized profusely but, frankly, was has cerebral palsy. shaken because I had no way to get y daughter saw that post. She home. The beggar reached into his M and her husband were adopt- pouch and pulled out a handful of ing four-year-old Jacob. Adopting two coins. Embarrassed, I took enough for seemed crazy, but her heart felt Levi’s the bus, and he said, “God bless you.” pain. They listed pros and cons. The pros won! Was this emotion or divine inter- THE LANGUAGE vention? Two days later, a new photo OF LOVE was posted showing Levi with his BY REBEKAH AMAN foster brother. It was Jacob! We knew TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA then both boys were meant to be part usic is universal. I learned of our family. M this while cradling a seagull unfortunate enough to swallow a Go to rd.com/june to read more hook. After calling the wildlife rescue of our favorite entries.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 125 Attention Men Being Treated for Low Testosterone

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BY MICHELLE CROUCH

Don’t find a home 1inspector through your real estate agent. It’s in the agent’s best interest to have the deal go through quickly, so some pitch inspectors 13 Things who find few problems. If I don’t spend at least 2 two hours at the house, Home I’m what we call a drive-by inspector, and you’re not Inspectors getting your money’s worth. A thorough inspector checks the crawl space, opens the Won’t Tel l breaker box, and walks the roof. Most houses take me You every bit of three hours. I won’t tell you not to 3 buy a house, because I’m not supposed to give real estate advice. But if I keep telling you that the house has “a lot of issues” or has “a major issue,” read between the lines—or at least be prepared to spend big money to fix some problems. ➸

PHOTOGRAPH BY JOSHUA SCOTT rd.com | 06•2014 | 127 13 THINGS HOME INSPECTORS WON’T TELL YOU

If you’re a seller, you should If you want the sale of your home 4 clean and prepare your house 9 to go smoothly, have the house the same way you would for a show- inspected before you put it on the ing. Most people leave a mess, and market. Working with me can give you when the buyers arrive with me, time to find a reasonably priced con- their jaws hit the floor. tractor or to make the repairs yourself.

Ask to see a sample report before If you have a lot of questions, 5 you hire me—it will give you a 10 don’t ask them as I’m walking good idea of what kind of inspector through the house—it will distract I am. Do I include digital pictures me, and I might miss something. and estimate repair costs or not? It’s a Let’s go through them at the end. great way to compare two inspectors. I can’t see under the cement Even brand-new homes should 11 slab or inside the walls, so if 6 be inspected. We find a ridicu- a dishonest seller wants to go out of lous amount of stuff wrong in new his way to hide defects, I might not construction: leaks, electrical issues, be able to find them. improperly installed washing ma- chines, clogged pipes because the Some of the worst homes tile guy cleaned his tools in the sink. 12 are those owned by do-it- yourselfers. I’ve seen toilets flushing Please, if you’re going to pay for with hot water, weird appliance 7 my services, read my full report— hookups, and indoor electrical not just the summary. Many people panels dangerously mounted outside don’t. In one report, I specifically in the elements. Hire a professional noted that the fireplace damper if you don’t know what you’re doing. didn’t work. The homeowner called me a few weeks later to complain Roof and foundation issues about all the smoke in the house. 13 can stop a sale fast. If you’re selling and are not sure of their con- I’ve encountered every kind ditions, get a professional to evaluate 8 of hazard. Once, I was crawling them ahead of time—and make sure underneath a bathroom, and I felt tree limbs are trimmed far away from something strange beneath me. I the roof to prevent damage. looked down and discovered I was Sources: Reuben Saltzman, owner of Structure Tech Home on a huge pile of double-edged razor Inspections in Minneapolis; Kent Keith, owner of Green Tag Inspection Services in Fort Worth, Texas; Tom Walsh, owner blades. I took a picture of it because of All Aspects Home Inspections, Inc., in Long Island, New York; and Ed Blazek, president of Blazek Building Inspection

I thought no one would believe me. Services in Spotsylvania, Virginia. MARTEL STOCKLAND ANGELA CAMPOS FOR PROP STYLIST:

128 | 06•2014 | rd.com

WHO KNEW?

Ingenious Solutions To Persnickety

Problems BY BETH DREHER

A Parrot That Keeps such as hello and good girl. One The Peace day, Eggers came home angry. When Jim Eggers gets angry, his Trying to convince himself to relax, body shakes. His vision blurs. His “I started saying to myself, ‘Calm hearing becomes muffled. “It’s like down, Jim. You’ll be OK,’ ” he I’m the Incredible Hulk,” says Eggers, says. Sadie repeated the phrases. “turning from a man into a beast.” After a few months, the bird began Eggers, 47, suffers from bipolar disorder. In fits of rage, he has punched a dent in a car’s hood, poured hot coffee on a neighbor, and yelled at strangers. In 2005, he served a year of probation for threatening to kill the archbishop of St. Louis. Several weeks later, Eggers, an animal lover, bought an African gray parrot he named Sadie. Not surprisingly, the bird soon began imitating words

she heard Eggers say, (EGGERS) IMAGES DILIP VISHWANAT/GETTY

130 | 06•2014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATIONS BY DANIEL HERTZBERG anticipating when Eggers needed Senior Center in Düsseldorf, Germany, reassurance, saying the phrases the Alzheimer’s patients wandered when she sensed he was angry. Now away from the facility so often that Eggers carries Sadie with him wher- manager Richard Neureither turned ever he goes—to church, to the gym, to the local police to retrieve the resi- on the city bus—in a bright purple dents. One day in 2008, Franz-Josef backpack with a built-in cage. Says Goebel, chairman of a local seniors’ Eggers, “I still go off on people some- association, approached Neureither times, but she makes sure it never with an unusual idea to keep the escalates into a big problem.” seniors safe. “He suggested we build a fake bus stop outside the center to A Bus Stop to Nowhere ‘catch’ people who’d snuck out,” says People with Alzheimer’s disease have Neureither. “At first, I thought it was a dangerous tendency to wander— ridiculous.” But it worked. Not long often, they’re looking for something after Neureither had the bench and or someone familiar, or they’re reliv- bus stop sign installed, an Alzheim- ing an old routine. At the Benrath er’s resident believed she needed to

rd.com | 06•2014 | 131 INGENIOUS SOLUTIONS TO PERSNICKETY PROBLEMS get home to her parents. Instead of arguing with her, the Benrath staff suggested the woman sit at the bus stop. After a few minutes, a nurse went out to wait with her. Eventu- ally, the woman forgot why she was there, and the nurse took her back into the center for a cup of tea. “After a while, their urgency disappears,” Neureither says. “Another thought comes along, and they forget where they wanted to go.” The Photo Trick That Sells a Home Who needs to pay a real estate agent when you own a photogenic 90-pound shelter “Then I got the idea to put him in dog? When John and Sara Kanive all the pictures.” The trick worked: decided in March 2013 to rent out The Kanives rented their place in less their two-bedroom Chicago apart- than 24 hours. “Everybody who re- ment, the photos of their pad showed plied to the ad had something to say off more than its wood-burning fire- about Otis,” John told abcnews.com. place and modern kitchen. In each “Mostly ‘P.S., I love your dog.’ ” image, their Great Dane–German shepherd mix, Otis, “photobombed” Cardboard Cops to Reduce the room—peaking out from behind Real Crime the kitchen counter or from around Thanks to a creative approach to a corner in the living room, barely crime deterrence, rates of theft, speed- visible behind a bed or peering from ing, and other traffic violations have behind the slats of a dining room fallen in cities from Boston to Prague. chair. “For the first picture, of the Short on funds for full-time officers, living room, he was just lying on the police departments in those cities and floor,” John told abcnews.com. others strategically placed cardboard

132 | 06•2014 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST cutouts of cops in high-crime an option for residents of this areas. Bicycle theft at a Cambridge, poverty-stricken region. Surprisingly, Massachusetts, subway station fell a piece of mesh hung vertically 67 percent in the months after police between two poles is an idea that attached a cutout to a fence near the holds water, literally. Invented by bike rack. And cardboard cops have the Meteorological Service of reduced speeding in Sibiu, Romania, Canada, the so-called fog fences so successfully that the police depart- capture water droplets in fog, and ment added cardboard police cars they trickle into a collection trough in other high-traffic areas. “Drivers and drain into buckets or tanks. immediately slow down when they see During the nine foggiest months of the cutouts,” says police spokesman the year, the community of Bellavista Radu Ionsecu. Cardboard cutouts (pop. 200) can harvest 75 gallons have helped calm traffic in Bangalore, of water every night using five large India, too. Says police commissioner fog fences. “These fog nets have M. A. Saleem, “Cutout cops can be improved our quality of life,” says on the job seven days a week.” resident Noe Neira Tocto. “We can grow vegetables for our families.” A Safety Net for the Fog fences are also helping irrigate Drought-Stricken arid regions in other parts of South In the foggy, desolate hillsides out- America and in Africa. Recently, side Lima, Peru, water for drinking researchers from the Netherlands and irrigation is a luxury. The area’s and China developed an absorbent 1.5 centimeters of annual rainfall fabric that may help fog fences barely helps, and buying water isn’t collect even more water.

PILLOW TALK

The amount of sleep required by the average person is ﬁve minutes more.

ANONYMOUS

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

FRANK SINATRA

Laugh, and the world laughs with you; snore, and you sleep alone.

ANTHONY BURGESS

rd.com | 06•2014 | 133

SEE THE WORLD ...

Turn the page

rd.com | 06•2014 | 135

... DIFFERENTLY Got soy sauce? On January 9, a Hong Kong restaurant chain created the world’s largest sushi mosaic, breaking the Guinness world record. The edible artwork, built on top of ice, measured about 404 square feet. It included 20,647 tasty pieces, which were quickly packed up that day and distributed free to spectators and the homeless. PREVIOUS SPREAD AND THIS SPREAD: BOBBY YIP/REUTERS PREVIOUS SPREAD AND THIS SPREAD: BOBBY

rd.com | 06•2014 | 137 WHO KNEW?

Just Another Name Fad

BY TIM URBAN FROM WAITBUTWHY.COM

BETWEEN 1968 AND 1988, a lot of moms and dads named their daughter Jennifer, and now almost no one does. Jennifer was officially a Name Fad. Which means that while Jennifers have enjoyed spending most of their lives with a cute, hip, young-girl name, they are on their way to having Your Mom’s Friend’s Name (one that many thirty- and fortysomethings have). A few decades after WHAT THIS TREND JENNIFER middle age, Jennifers LOOKS LIKE 16,000 can look forward to hav- Some spike only to ing an Old Lady Name— fall off the map 15,000 a name that belongs to Scale: per million babies 14,000 Source: babynamewizard.com lots of women over 75. 13,000

This means that 12,000 Jennifer is irreparably 11,000 branded with her genera- SHIRLEY tion forever. Luckily, she 10,000 has company: 9,000 In 30 years, the 8,000

names Natalie, Isabella, 7,000 Samantha, and Ashley 6,000 will sound how Nancy, Cheryl, Shirley, and Linda 5,000 do today. And in 60 years, 4,000 the names Ethan, Jayden, 3,000

and Brandon will be Earl, 2,000 Bernard, and Melvin. 1,000 Why? Because no one is

safe from Name Fad. 1880s 1900s 1920s 1940s 1960s 1980s 2000s JONES HEATHER BY CHART ROBIN FINLAY. PROP STYLIST:

138 | 06•2014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES Get Your FREE Self-Publishing Guide Tough Mental Training for an Aspiring and established authors alike use Unbeatable Mind LifeRich Publishing to get their books Learn to lead and succeed like a Navy published. Beneﬁt from editorial, design and SEAL with 8 powerful successful principles marketing experience, plus an abundant revealed by retired SEAL Commander Mark library of resources assembled by the Divine. Visit: WayoftheSEAL.com for more editors of Reader’s Digest. Get your FREE information. Available now wherever books publishing guide: LifeRichPublishing.com are sold.

LifeRich is an imprint of The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc. WHO KNEW?

Presidents come and go, but one thing remains constant in the West Wing The Pen Made for the White House BY DAN LEWIS FROM NOW I KNOW

THE PENS READ “Skilcraft U.S. Government.” And if you have worked for an American government institution, chances are you’ve used one. About $5 million worth of these pens are sold every year (with 60 percent going to the military), and they have quite the story behind them. To start, they’re assembled by the blind. In 1938, in the midst of the Great Depression, the government stepped in to help blind workers, who were already at a competitive disadvantage. Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed into law the Wagner-O’Day Act, which required that the federal government purchase specific goods manufactured by blind Americans. The law soon included pens. The Skilcraft brand came to be a decade or so later, in 1952. Today, the company employs over 5,500 blind workers in 37 states, producing an arsenal of office supplies, with the pens made in factories in Wisconsin and North Carolina. The pens must be built to the specifications outlined in a 16-page document that was first promulgated more than 50 years ago. Among the requirements? The pens must be able to write continuously for no less than 5,000 feet and in temperatures up to 160 degrees and down to

40 degrees below zero. You know, just in case. ROBIN FINLAY PROP STYLIST:

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CGI effects have humanized Hollywood’s epic blockbusters. Here is … How to Cast an Ape

BY DAMON BERES

KARIN KONOVAL is a 52-year-old actress, a former dancer, and a 260-pound orangutan (but only in the movies). Playing the role of Mau- rice, a tough lieutenant in this summer’s Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Konoval brings her ape Konoval (top) before advanced special effects alter ego to life when she transform her into Maurice (bottom) dons a bodysuit dotted with 40 small “markers” to track around the set on special hand stilts her movements, which are picked that, thanks to over 450 special up by dozens of cameras. A series of effects technicians, will later trans- up to 50 tracers on her face map out form into fur-covered arms. Why all

every smile and grimace. She moves the effort? Because in an attempt to WETA COURTESY FOX. TWENTIETH CENTURY COURTESY FROM TOP:

142 | 06•2014 | rd.com feature animals on-screen, we risk an actor’s performance is just as good hurting them in the process. as an animal’s. Why? Because actors For example: The 1978 film Every like Konoval do their research. Before Which Way but Loose starred Clint diving into her role in Dawn of the Eastwood and an orangutan named Planet of the Apes, Konoval spent Clyde, who was trained to stand weeks observing an orangutan named upright and walk—unnaturally—on Towan at the Woodland Park Zoo in his legs. If he didn’t behave properly, Seattle. She developed a strong the orangutan was purportedly relationship with him; the two would beaten. even paint side by side for hours While conditions have improved in at a time. “One day, he came up to today’s productions, many animals the glass and pressed his face to still die from the abuse and neglect mine—we stayed like that for about that occurs off camera. Director 20 minutes. I was breathless as his Rupert Wyatt—who won a PETA award eyes traced up and down my face,” for his CGI innovations in Rise of the Konoval says. “It was that 20 minutes Planet of the Apes—would argue that that gave me Maurice.”

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Before you start cramming your suitcase for that dream getaway, make sure you’ve got the travel lingo down. Take a tour of these terms, then jet to the next page for answers.

BY EMILY COX & HENRY RATHVON

1. docent ('doh-sent) n.—A: tour 10. ramada (ruh-'mah-duh) n.— guide. B: side trip. C: frequent flier. A: shelter with open sides. B: dude ranch. C: in-house 2. sojourn ('soh-jern) v.—A: travel maid service. nonstop. B: take a guided tour. C: stay temporarily. 11. incidental (in-seh-'den-tul) adj.—A: waiting in a long line. 3. cosmopolitan (kahz-meh-'pah- B: minor. C: causing a scandal. leh-tin) adj.—A: between stops. B: worldly-wise. C: of space travel. 12. transient ('tran-shee- or zee-ent) adj.—A: going by rail. B: passing 4. prix fixe ('pree feeks or fiks) n.— through. C: on foot. A: confirmed reservation. B: meal with a set price. C: race car. 13. manifest ('ma-neh-fest) n.— A: red-eye flight. B: reservation. 5. couchette (koo-'shet) n.— C: passenger list. A: round-trip ticket. B: French pastry. C: train’s sleeping compartment. 14. rack rate ('rak rayt) n.— A: overhead-luggage charge. 6. funicular (fyu-'nih-kye-ler) n.— B: takeoff speed. C: full price A: pleasure cruise. B: cable railway. for lodging. C: stretch limousine. 15. peripatetic (per-uh-puh- 7. jitney ('jit-nee) n.—A: day trip. 'teh-tik) adj.—A: speaking many B: duty-free shop. C: small bus. languages. B: traveling from place 8. valise (vuh-'lees) n.—A: car parker. to place. C: crossing a border B: small suitcase. C: country cottage. illegally. 9. sabbatical (seh-'ba-ti-kul) n.— To play an interactive version of A: break from work. B: lodging Word Power on your iPad or Kindle Fire, overseas. C: seating upgrade. download the Reader’s Digest app.

rd.com | 06•2014 | 145 WORD POWER Answers

1. docent—[A] tour guide. I followed 9. sabbatical—[A] break from work. a docent through the museum, pre- “I’m here on a six-month sabbatical,” tending to be with a school group. I tried to explain to the customs agent. 2. sojourn—[C] stay temporarily. 10. ramada—[A] shelter with open “Will you sojourn with us long?” sides. My ideal vacation: sipping asked the receptionist as I reclined some colorful cocktail seaside under on a bench. a ramada. 3. cosmopolitan—[B] worldly-wise. 11. incidental—[B] minor. Apparently, Sara wasn’t cosmopolitan “Incidental items can add weight enough for the maître d’ to seat her quickly, so pack wisely,” my wife at any of the best tables. advised. 4. prix fixe—[B] meal with a set 12. transient—[B] passing through. price. Alison knew it was a prix fixe, Thankfully, the brute was a transient but naturally she tried to haggle with customer, not a permanent guest. the waiter anyway. 13. manifest—[C] passenger list. 5. couchette—[C] train’s sleeping I came from such a big family, we compartment. My couchette mates had to keep an official manifest for snored peacefully in their bunks. every trip. 6. funicular—[B] cable railway. 14. rack rate—[C] full price for lodg- The funicular dis- ing. Savvy travelers appeared into the never settle for a mist halfway up DOWNTIME, REDEFINED hotel’s rack rate. the mountain. These days, vacations 15. peripatetic come in myriad forms. — 7. jitney—[C] small A staycation is when you [B] traveling bus. We chartered don’t go anywhere and just from place to a jitney for our trip enjoy free time at or near place. After two to the cape. home. A paycation is when peripatetic years you moonlight as you travel. in Asia, Jason 8. valise—[B] A daycation is a 24-hour settled down. small suitcase. getaway. We’ve also heard Eric grew suspi- of a praycation (a religious cious after finding trip) and even a bakeation VOCABULARY someone else’s (a foodie’s holiday dedicated RATINGS to sampling pastries). 9 & below: Economy credentials in his 10–12: Business class valise. 13–15: First class

146 | 06•2014 | rd.com Still experiencing heartburn?

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your homewith Cute Crafts Salzberg in Afternoon ten adorable Add color to |

DECORATING 06 • 2014 READ UPAT RD.COM/JUNE be more opento opportunity. Want Happier? toBe

Real Happiness at Work EVERYDAY WELLNESS rd.com IN CASE YOU MISSED ITON YOU MISSED CASE IN Rd.com the most healthbene- no ECGC, thepotent antioxidant linked to and weight loss. For fits, make your own. cancer prevention found thatcertain consumerlab.com contained almost HEALTHY EATING A report from Drink the Right Tea bottled teas . Focus no blood.Just leaves no body, aheartbut grow withoutwood. “Nomatter where and nobranches, I “I have aheadbut dreams are valid.” Brainteasers Brainteasers you’re from, your Wise Words Wise from Life’s LUPITA NYONG’O, Oscar-winning actress What amI?” Winners ON FACEBOOK MOST POPULAR ON TWITTER MOST RETWEETS Riddles WHO KNEW? QUOTES and (Answer: Lettuce.) (Answer:

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Humor in Uniform

WE WERE MARCHING to the chow schemes have worked as well. In hall when we spotted a pathetic- the ’60s, the CIA hatched a plan to looking recruit standing at attention implant a battery and a microphone by a mailbox, a whole book of stamps in a cat so the furry feline could plastered to his forehead. When our spy on unsuspecting targets. The drill instructor demanded an explana- program was halted when, after tion, the man bellowed, “This recruit years of research and millions of has proved himself worthless and dollars spent, the spy cat was run weak and is being mailed home to his over by a cab. Source: cracked.com mother!” MARK JONES, Glendale, Arizona

Atten-hut! Send us your funniest military THE MILITARY MAY HAVE invented anecdote—it might be worth $$$! Details the Internet, but not all government on page 7 and rd.com/submit.

AIR FARCE

Air Force pilots have a reputation within other branches of the military of leading a rather soft life. According to realpolice.net, their slang might sound like this:

Navy/ Head Thrown in Mud SEAL Rack Marines the brig

Army Latrine Put in Cup of Special Bunk confinement joe Forces

Air Powder Grounded Vanilla Librarian Single Force room latte with ruffle and duvet

(Don’t worry, Air Force, we’ll make sure the other branches get theirs!)

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