Scene One - The Coffee Shop

Wednesday. Lunch hour.

SHELLY sits at one table, reading a print newspaper and drinking an iced coffee. She wears an orthopedic brace for her wrist and thumb on her right hand.

She faces HENRY, who is at the other table, struggling with his cell phone. He faces away from her.

HENRY Damn it.

Clearly frustrated, he puts down his phone and takes a sip of his hot coffee. He burns his mouth.

Shit.

SHELLY looks up at him. HENRY picks up his phone and begins to look around for someone to help him. She notices him squirming, then returns to her paper.

HENRY turns in h^seat, sees her there, and addresses her.

Excuse me? Miss? Hello? Miss?

She slowly raises the newspaper to hide her face.

Undeterred, he walks over to her table with his phone.

Hello? Sorry to bother you.

Giving up, she puts down her paper and gives him a fake smile.

•SHELLY Yes?

HENRY I wonder if you could help me figure out how to use this thing. SHELLY New phone?

HENRY I've had it for three years.

SHELLY Oh.

HENRY And yes, I really am that old and pathetic.

SHELLY You don't seem pathetic.

HENRY But no argument with old.

SHELLY I didn't mean -

HENRY I know you didn't. I'm just giving you ...

SHELLY Shit.

HENRY I would never say that.

SHELLY You just did.

HENRY When?

SHELLY When you thought no one was listening.

HENRY Oh shit. I'm sorry.

SHELLY It's fine. What's wrong with your phone?

HENRY I'm trying to figure out how to forward a text.

SHELLY Really. After three years. HENRY I just forgot how. I've done it before, I'm sure.

SHELLY You have?

HENRY At least once.

SHELLY Hand it here. Have a seat.

HENRY You sure?

SHELLY I'm just waiting for my boyfriend.

HENRY You don't have to make something up.

SHELLY You don't believe I could have a boyfriend?

HENRY Of course not! I think you could have dozens of them.

SHELLY That doesn't sound much better.

HENRY I just mean... I'm not here to pester you. In that way.

SHELLY I know that - what's your name?

HENRY Henry.

SHELLY I'm Shelly.

HENRY I really appreciate the help.

SHELLY So ... let's take a look. With your permission.

HENRY Feel free. 6

Pause.

HENRY (cont.) We both have cat names.

She looks up.

SHELLY Pardon?

HENRY Names that end in "ee" sounds. That's attractive to cats. The way the inflection goes up at the end? With a high-pitched ending. That's how cats prefer to be addressed. So names like Henry and Shelly are ideal. Whereas a name like - Roger - will be ignored. They don't realize you're talking to them. That's the main reason people think cats are aloof. They've been given the wrong names.

SHELLY I see. Do you have a cat?

HENRY No. I did. But he ran away.

SHELLY What was his name?

HENRY Roger.

Pause.

That was my mistake.

She returns to the phone.

SHELLY Okay. Watch what I do.

She demonstrates.

So. You tap on the message and hold it. Then this thing pops up. You want to copy it before you send it?

HENRY I don't think so.

SHELLY Then just hit "more." Now tap that little arrow at the bottom to share it, and there it is. Now just type in the person you're sending it to. 7

HENRY Which is who?

SHELLY I think you'll have to figure that out yourself.

HENRY I mean, what do I type?

SHELLY Their name.

HENRY I don't know their names. Not all of them.

SHELLY Well, then I guess you should probably start with one you know.

HENRY Thanks very much, Shelly.

SHELLY Don't mention it. Good luck.

HENRY You helped a lot.

SHELLY Bye.

HENRY returns to his table, and struggles to type in the name. He hits a button and waits.

HENRY Nothing.

He turns around again.

Nothing happens.

SHELLY Let me see.

He brings it back to her. She looks at it.

Pause. She looks back at him.

SHELLY This is the person to whom you're forwarding a text? HENRY Yes. One of nine.

SHELLY I'm aware of that. He's the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

HENRY Did I spell his name wrong or something?

SHELLY No, the name is correct. But I suspect he's not in your contact list.

HENRY I can't imagine why he would be.

SHELLY Then you have a problem.

HENRY Why? This message isn't disrespectful.

SHELLY Not the issue, Henry.

HENRY I always show respect. Well, a modicum. Unlike most other people.

SHELLY It's not about content. It's about access.

HENRY Meaning?

SHELLY Meaning the Justices on the Supreme Court of the United States probably aren't set up to receive text forwarding from private citizens.

HENRY That doesn't seem fair.

SHELLY I agree. Maybe you could try Twitter?

HENRY I've heard of that.

SHELLY Good.