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Arylo Ch 03 Seal and Heal Love Cracks

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Arylo Ch 03 Seal and Heal Love Cracks We have come to this planet to love ourselves in spite of whatever obstacles others or we ourselves have put in our paths. – Louise L. Hay Adventure #3: Seal & Heal Your Love Cracks Take back your love power and never give away your power to feel loved again Did you know that you were born in love with yourself? Yep, born feeling loved, connected to love, and ready to give and receive love unconditionally. Upon arrival, your heart and soul were full of 100% pure love. Unfortunately the world you were born into, while advanced in many ways, didn’t and still doesn’t operate on the principles of love (at least not yet.) Fear is the name of the game, and fear is the #1 smasher and smusher of anything resembling love. When your pure beam of love dropped into your bouncing baby body, fear, in all its forms – hate, meanness, comparison, doubt, anxiety, judgment, worry, rejection, shame – wanted in as quickly as possible. If you were fortunate, you landed softly into a family who held a tight container of love, not so affected or blinded by their own fears that they projected and handed them down to you immediately. A tribe that did their best to create a place for you to feel safe, cared for, worthy, and special, at least for a time. But very few of us, no matter how great our parents, escaped adolescence without being affected by fear and its “love stealers.” At some point in your life, probably between the ages of 2 and 11, something happened to make you feel separated from the pure, unwavering and unconditional love to which you were born connected. As a result, you suffered your first “Love Crack.” This event might have been a specific moment, maybe one you can remember right now – likely painful, difficult and copyright 2012 Christine Arylo www.christinearylo.com 510.482.5858 1 internally jarring. Or your love crack might have resulted from a series of events, that when combined, poked and prodded at that pure love, until one day, you felt separated from love, and crack! This crack created a fissure inside your pure heart, opening up the way for the love stealers to move in and take up residence. Love stealers are fear’s messengers, like renegade roommates who come charging in, uninvited, to stomp on your free spirit and wreak havoc on your pure heart. Their job is to fill you up with feelings and beliefs that make you forget and doubt your connection to unconditional love. Truthfully, they are more like love kidnappers than love stealers. They lack the power to actually remove love or take it away, but wow are they masters at making you feel like love is gone. Their power comes from making you feel unloved, alone, unsafe or scared, as that’s when you are most vulnerable to a love crack. Since these love stealers don’t have bodies of their own, they mostly rely on the words and actions of adults and children whose hearts they’ve already infiltrated through the love cracks. Driven blindly by the pain and fear living inside of them, most people have no clue they’re delivering heart-polluting, spirit-smashing love cracks to others. Maybe for you, a bully cracked your innocent and pure heart. Perhaps a harsh, abusive, or neglectful adult or sibling delivered a love crack causing you to build walls of protection around your heart, or just the opposite, let go of your boundaries all together. Maybe you began noticing how society treats people differently, which twisted your mind to believe you needed to be someone other than who you were. Or maybe, your love crack resulted from a comment that came from a person you loved or trusted. Although they didn’t intend to hurt you, their words pierced your core, cracked your trust, and you began to believe being vulnerable or expressing yourself freely and fully was copyright 2012 Christine Arylo www.christinearylo.com 510.482.5858 2 unsafe. Or for you maybe a devastating life event shook you to your core, making you feel horribly unsafe. Regardless of the event, your first love crack – the Cardinal Crack – marks the moment you stopped trusting love, started feeling and having faith in fear, and began protecting your heart and dimming your spirit. Which made it all the more easier for more love cracks to appear as you grew older. With your heart now exposed to something other than pure love – fear – the love stealers just kept working on stealing your trust in love in all its forms – loving yourself, loving others, receiving love, believing the world can be a loving place, etc. And they keep stealing more and more until the day you decide to seal and heal your love cracks. Gone un-healed, your love cracks continue to get activated whenever you face situations that cause you to feel unloved, unsafe and insecure. Like a cavity that goes un-sealed, fear- creating love stealers are like germs that keep hitting the roots of your self-love tree, causing you pain and causing you to forget your inherent self-worth. Your job, and the adventure we will take in this chapter is to find your love cracks, and to seal the openings so that you can heal the roots. For many of us, our love cracks were so difficult and damaging that we hid them far, far away from sight. Instead, terrified to look at them, or admit they exist to anyone, we develop all kinds of self-destructive behaviors to keep them hidden, especially from ourselves. We stuff our gaping emotional and spiritual holes with addictions to other people, alcohol, food, sugar, clothing, shopping, etc. We anesthetize ourselves from the pain of the cracks with activities like overworking, being over-busy, over-focusing on other people’s lives, and over-watching bad tv. It’s like constant love-crack triage, we just have no idea our heart and soul is bleeding, craving love. copyright 2012 Christine Arylo www.christinearylo.com 510.482.5858 3 This suits the love stealers just fine. Unexposed, they remain in power. However, when you dare to expose the fear, stare it down, and activate the courage that lives in the part of your heart that remains untainted and pure, the love stealers lose their power, the love cracks begin to seal, and you start healing the love cracks for good. inherently possess to feel loved at any moment and to find you way back to love no matter what. When you reclaim this power, a great change occurs within you. When difficult moments arise in your life, when you feel afraid, alone or unloved, instead of choosing fear, creating or deepening a love crack, and causing yourself undue suffering, you begin to find your way through the difficulty and pain using the power of love. This choice, to trust love, leads you to outcomes that bring more love into your life, not less. And over time, as the love cracks heal, you return to your first nature, to make choices that are worthy of you being called your own best friend. Love Cracks Exposed! Let’s draw a line in the sand right here right now, take those love stealers on and reclaim your love power, shall we? I’m daring us all – me too – to take love cracks out for show and tell. Love cracks exposed! Oh yeah! I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours. Heck, I’ll tell you what, you don’t even have to show me your love cracks, just promise me that you will show yourself. Is it a deal? Great, let’s go! The love cracks I am about to share with you are true stories about my life that I’ve not shared publicly until now. I am sharing them with you because I know hearing someone else’s story has the power to open up long ago, locked up places inside of yourself. While the details may differ, the fears are the same. As you read about my love cracks and their impact on my life, copyright 2012 Christine Arylo www.christinearylo.com 510.482.5858 4 notice which ones resemble your love cracks. I’ll stop after each one so you can take a ME Moment, connect with yourself as your own B.F.F. and ask a few questions to find the wisdom and self-discovery wants to bubble up for you. Love Crack #1 – The Cardinal Crack My first love crack happened two weeks after my arrival on the planet (even back then I was over achieving!) I was born three weeks premature, 4lbs 6 oz, which in the 1970s meant I went immediately into the incubator. I spent two weeks in that capsule under a bright and warm light. It was nice. Then the day came for me to leave the womb of the warm bubble for the bosom of my mother, but it didn’t quite go the way I expected. When the nurses took me out of the incubator and handed this open bundle of pure love to my mother, instead of receiving a rush of love from her, I felt a closed-off heart. Ouch. Crack. You see, when I showed up on the scene, my mother was in deep grief, having lost her father nine months before my arrival. Do the math, and you’ll quickly figure out that she grieved the loss of her father with me in her uterus.
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