Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 1-9-2009

Volume 44 - Issue 12 - Friday, January 9, 2009

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 44 - Issue 12 - Friday, January 9, 2009" (2009). The Rose Thorn Archive. 141. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/141

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. T HE R OSE T HORN R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2008 ROSE-HULMAN.EDU/THORN/ VOLUME 44, ISSUE 12 Rose retirees reminisce News Briefs Lindsay Saxton in the same sentence be- including the impressive posed and construction took By Andrew Klusman G u e s t W r i t e r fore moving on to describ- statistics of the graduating place where the SRC is today. ing items that would later seniors and a recap of recent Sophomores would stand n Thursday, Decem- be sold in a silent auction. community service projects on the roofs of the buildings Lindh parents asks ber 11, the Kahn These artifacts were said to (i.e.: Bikes for Tykes, the an- where the triplets now are and ORoom was abuzz with be taken from the library nual Fiji Christmas dinner, launch water balloons at the for pardon activity. Retired faculty and archives and included such and ACSE’s collection bas- freshmen. Apparently, previ- staff from the last 30 years novelties as a chewed, never ket). ous yearly traditions were the John Walker Lindh’s parents are asking gathered to learn about cur- smoked, cigar from the Bob During the meal, former Rose Riots, satirical sketches President Bush to pardon their son, who rent campus events, remi- Steinheiser collection and an Vice President Ron Reeves put on by the students poking became famous as the American-born Tal- nisce about the past, and old spray starch can of Brian described Rose as a family at- fun at the faculty. As story af- iban fighter. Lindh was captured in 2001 by have a good time celebrating Piker used, not on his razor mosphere with close relation- ter story was told, all empha- Northern Alliance forces in Afghanistan, was their retirement. As custom- sharp slacks, but on his hair. ships and said that “so many sized the familial tendencies wounded in a prison uprising, and turned ary of formal Rose-Hulman Dr. Jakubowski said a quick people just want to stay.” Dr. of Rose. Betty Dyer laughed over to United States authorities. Lindh was lunches, a three course meal prayer before introducing Peter Priest echoed the sen- when she said that she had born and raised in California, converted to prepared by the premiere his wife, Lynn, and welcom- timents, adding, “Usually many memorable memories, Islam when he was 16, and traveled to Ye- ARA staff was served as Exec- ing the retirees back to Rose humanities people are iso- but “nothing that you could men, Pakistan, and Afghanistan for religious utive Director of Communi- before moving on to a more lated from the real people, the write down.” Pat Krupa told studies. After he pled guilty in 2002 to serv- cations and Marketing Bryan serious topic, the economic engineers, but not at Rose.” how Bryan Taylor and Brian ing in the Taliban army, he was sentenced to Taylor took the podium, state of affairs. “These are Barbara Mullen agreed, talk- Dyer used to brush the snow 20 years in prison for violating United States welcoming everyone back very tough economic times,” ing about the egalitarian ori- off cars parked behind Mo- economic sanctions against Afghanistan. to Rose for the yearly retired he began before talking entation of the student body ench after snow storms, add- Lindh initially asked for a commutation of faculty and staff “Family about the budget cutbacks and the lasting friendships ing, “This has just got to be his sentence in 2004, and his lawyers have Time.” He started off with a and his plan to try to avoid formed. Reeves, a ‘58 elec- the most wonderful place petitioned for a commutation every year few jokes about retirees pres- any firings. “Here at Rose- trical engineering graduate, in the world to work.” Basi- since. The US Department of Justice has ent at the luncheon, such as Hulman, we are a family, we talked about the homecom- cally, according to Mary Anne not acted on his previous petitions. He is how the words “work” and are a community.” Praise of ing bonfire back before the Pierce, here at Rose, “Every- currently serving out his sentence in a mini- “Betty Dyer” can’t be said the student body followed, height restrictions were im- body counts.” mum-security prison in Terre Haute, Ind. GM stops construc- Campus rolls in to build bikes Noel Spurgeon ual families and charities alike Such a large charitable un- nations), the Indiana Air Na- tion of new plant Staff Writer came to pick up the bicycles. dertaking required a consid- tional Guard (tools), and the In an effort to conserve cash to continue Charities participating in Bikes erable amount of assistance. Office of Facilities Operations operations, General Motors Corporation has aturday, December 13, for Tykes included the Salva- “There are two groups that are (making the operations center announced it is halting the construction of a the Facilities Operations tion Army, Covenant Coopera- vital to the local Bikes for Tykes available). new engine plant. The plant, which is to be SCenter nearly overflowed tive Ministries, West Vigo High project: Our faithful financial Besides the obvious chari- built in Flint, Mich., will make the 1.4-liter with activity as scores of volun- School’s d o n o r s table contribution, there engines for the Chevrolet Cruze and Chev- teers assembled 450 bicycles A m b a s - ( c o n - were other, not so tangible rolet Volt. The engines extend the range of for the ninth annual “Bikes for s a d o r ’s t r i b u t - fruits of the volunteers’ hard the Volt, which is GM’s next-generation ve- Tykes” project, organized by the s t u d e n t ing more work. Despite the cold and hicle that can travel 40 miles on electricity Exchange Club of Terre Haute. g r o u p , I am Santa Claus t h a n early hour of the morning, alone. Even with the halt in construction of Students, faculty, and staff do- Seelyville, $20,000) the joy of giving back to the the plant, GM plans to release the Volt and nated their Saturday mornings U n i t e d right now. It’s Awe- and the community was evident in Cruze in 2010, its planned release year. The and put their engineering skills M e t h - R o s e - students and faculty alike. engines are already made at a plant in Aus- to the test to help hundreds of o d i s t some! Hulman Some were new to the op- tria, but this plant would double production local children have a happier C h u rc h , S t u - eration, and others had been capacity. GM is seeking government loans holiday season. “I like to Franklin “ d e n t s ,” participating in the program of up to $18 billion to continue operations, imagine their faces when they Elemen- said Dale throughout their college ca- and survive the worst US auto sales in 26 see the new bike,” said Matt tary School and other groups. Long, Director of News Ser- reers, but all were united in years. Volmerding, one of the student About 300 of the bicycles as- vices at Rose-Hulman and the the common goal of giving volunteers, “It’s a pretty cool sembled will remain in Vigo project co-chair for the Ex- back to the community. The Chrysler shuts down feeling.” county, while the remainder change Club. “It’s great to see atmosphere would be best From 8:00-11:30 a.m., volun- will be distributed to Spen- our students” giving back to the described by Doug Mann, a production teers assembled, inspected and cer, Ind., and Cloverdale, Ind. community during the holiday freshman volunteer, “I am sorted the bicycle kits. Then, by various other community season.” Other contributors Santa Claus right now. It’s Chrysler LLC will stop all vehicle produc- from noon until three, individ- groups. included ARAMARK (food do- awesome.” tion in the United States after the last shift on Friday, and employees are asked not to return to work before January 19. Chrysler typically shuts plants down from Decem- ber 24 to January 5, making this closure two weeks longer than normal. They point to the lack of credit for consumers for the slow- down in sales that they have experienced. Chrysler would not say how many fewer ve- hicles would be produced, and stated that the 46,000 employees affected will be paid by state unemployment benefits and Chrys- ler contributions. Chrysler’s auto sales Andrew Carlson/ Rose Thorn dropped 47% from November 2007. Saturday, December 13, 2008, marked the annual Bikes for Tykes philanthropy in which students build bikes to help local children. In this issue of the Rose Thorn... The twelve lists Music o’ 2008 OPINIONS Athlete of the Week of Flipside

NEWS

F 6 LIPSIDE SE, the other 8 3 real engineer

Bring on the montage E4NTERTAINMENT 7SPORTS 8 PAGE -

NEWS - PAGE 3 ENTERTAINMENT - PAGE 4 LIVING - PAGE 5 OPINIONS - PAGE 6 SPORTS - PAGE 7 FLIPSIDE 2 PUZZLES & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn By Melissa Brumbaugh Holiday WordFind

Crossword families! your and you to Holidays Happy By Melissa Brumbaugh Instructions: Find the words listed below in the puzzle above! Reindeer Christmas Advent Santa Shamash Nativity Snowman Imani Epiphany Menorah Karenga Wenceslas Hanukkah Pirates

Across Down 1. Father Christmas in France 1 New Zealand Christmas tree 4. Hebrew word for “dedication” or 2 A sprite-like child who may or “consecration” may not represent baby Jesus 5. Georgian Equivalent of Santa Claus 3 December 6th 7 Four-sided spinning top 6 Santa’s ninth reindeer 8 Potato pancakes 7 Grandfather Frost 9 Traditional Christmas shopping 10 I hear the _____ of bells day in Ireland 11 The seven principles of Kwanzaa 12 December 26th

Find the answers to all Rose Thorn puzzles at: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn CLASSIFIEDS

Sharp Flats, LLC Comfortable house for rent to Rose students

Want your own place and still be able to walk to Rose in a few minutes? Check out Sharp Short drive 10-15 minutes from campus in Riley, past the new Wal-Mart on 46. Two bed- Flats East. We have one-bedrooms, $460 (with electric), furnished studios starting at rooms plus a full bath downstairs. Two bedrooms and an alcove plus a full bath upstairs. $395 (with utilities), and efficiencies starting at $360 (with utilities). Living room with fireplace, dining room, We have wireless Internet, furnished units, lots of parking, and laundry facilities. Don’t large kitchen with dishwasher and garbage disposal, large rec room, attached oversize forget to check out the Trails End Cafe too! We are located at the first stoplight east of 2 car garage. Rose-Hulman at 40 (Wabash Ave.) and Hunt Road. Check us out at sharpflats.com, or All appliances provided including washer and dryer. Central A/C. call us at (812) 877-1146. You’ll love the convenient location, having your own bathroom, Mostly furnished. $250 per month per student plus share of utilities. space and our great prices! Pet friendly! Landlord pays water and sewer. Space available for 2 students starting this Winter Quarter. Campus ext-8317 or 240-4774. The Rose Thorn Editorial Staff Thorn Staff CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Eli Baca Co-Editor-in-Chief Andrew Klusman Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Staff Writers Co-Editor-in-Chief Jim Sedoff Matthew Bryant Phone:(812)877-8255 Annie Bullock News Editor Scott Gallmeier Fax: (812)877-8166 Entertainment Editor Ben Collins Andrew Ernster Living Editor Melissa Brumbaugh E-mail: [email protected] Noel Spurgeon Opinions Editor Christine Price http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Hobey Tam Sports Editor Mike Ferguson Clint Thompson Humor Editor Matt Melton “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed J.P. Verkamp Co-Copy Editor Tim Boyer by providing an accurate and James Zhou Co-Copy Editor Carly Baehr dependable source for news and information.” Photo Editor Andrew Carlson Cartoonist Nick Easter Layout Manager Cari Harper The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays first through ninth week each quarter. Administrative Staff Photographers Advertising Manager OPEN Albert Mui Administrative Assistant Erin Parker Matt Vargo Business Manager Andrew Carlson Tim Ekl Webmaster Tom W. Most Advisor Richard House

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. THREE DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Office (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Thursday, December 18, 2008 2008 IN PHOTOS 3 A Time of Visitors A Time of Tragedy

A Time of Fun

A Time of Change

...And Years to Come!!! 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn 2008: The year of the comebacks! Ben Collins releases were attention grabbers Voices,” which, on the day after and, in fact, I have not listened nineties, mainly Queens of the Entertainment if not plagues on the radio and “Love Song” reached a radio play to either release since then. Stone Age and Soundgarden. Es- E d i t o r YouTube, with less known bands frequency of five-hundred thou- However, they set the mood for sentially, life in music was dull like Paramore, Arcade Fire, and sand a day, still had substance. the rest of 2008. Simply put, and barren until after summer. This year in music had initially Modest Mouse releasing to their Her appearance and the year in this was the year of the return- Then the magic truly happened. been one of great promise, even diehard fan bases. This year also general showed that there was ing giants of music, specifically The sign of return to form came considering last year’s rather had very few major releases still promise in music, especially of rock. It was not an exciting in the form of Al Green releas- stellar releases. In fact, 2007 was from the established bands of for the mainstream genres. time from Lenny on after, as re- ing what must have been con- what I’d consider a year of dis- yester-year, the major players At the end of 2007, I was high leases seemed to fly by without sidered his greatest work in over covery in music. I consistently in my eye being The Smashing off my promise for a better fu- any real substance for months. twenty years. The hits kept com- found new music from less rep- Pumpkins, Radiohead, and the ture when I was struck down Sure, Weezer released their “Red ing and with Metallica, Guns N’ utable or mainstream sources unstoppable Foo Fighters. The by a passing assailant, Lenny Album” but by then, I was so Roses, and AC/DC releasing af- and became enthralled. big success story of 2007, how- Kravitz. Yes, he and Willie Nel- jaded I went back to listening ter what seemed like an eternity, Souljaboy and Chris Brown’s ever, was Sara Bareilles’s “Little son released early in the year to music I had missed from the the world was right again. Most Over Hyped Album of 2008 With this being a year of come- AC/DC and Guns N’ Roses and bauchery was Guns N’ Roses. Yes, backs, there was also a ridiculous their respective releases late this they released only to Best Buy, an- amount of advertising and hype year. As many already know, AC/ other of the soul-sucking giants, associated with several of these DC released exclusively with Wal- but that’s forgiveable; that’s not albums. If it isn’t press releases, Mart and the corporation made where they beat AC/DC. This is it is the blogs of the fans and hat- sure to advertise “Oh yeah, we got an album that has been promised ers, it is the stores sponsoring the AC/DC comin’,” for the span of two for more than a decade, with con- albums, and hell, it is the bands months. Even in the local chain stant setbacks and general grow- coming back on tour to sponsor in Terre Haute, we could see AC/ ing pains associated with losing the album. If it was anybody new DC clothing, AC/DC previous re- most of the band. In Axl’s defense, to the music scene, they would be leases, everything AC/DC, and my he tried to get it done in a timely ridiculed as either fascist or egotis- only thoughts were of how low the manner, but there’s only so much tical. However, if you’ve gone plati- mighty have fallen. Even the Eagles that can go wrong before you quit. num, go right ahead and sell your tried to break their contract with He didn’t, though, and now we’ve CD’s at only one store. Wal-Mart after their release and, received his vision and the Guns The specific cases of this cor- my god, AC/DC is more badass N’ Roses fan boys can be happy, dial, “Hey, I’m better than any- than the Eagles. if there are any true fans left after body else,” over-hyping came with The real winner in this de- Slash ditched. Most Addicting Singles of 2008 In the case of most addictive will be playing well into next radio airtime along with Beyon- songs this year, all but a few year. Rihanna was also set this cé’s singles. came from well established art- year with her single “Disturbia” The defining single of this ists, just outside the rock genre. followed later by her collabora- year, however, comes from new- Within the last few months, tion with T.I. in “Live Your Life” comer Katy Perry. There most Beyoncé had several singles re- showing her off as a force to be likely hasn’t been a day gone by leased with the currently most reckoned with this coming year. since her single, “I Kissed a Girl,” played songs being “If I Were a Superstar bad girl Pink’s latest came out that it hasn’t seen air- Boy” and “Single Ladies.” Even album single, “So What,” and time. It’s annoying, catchy, and so late in the year, Beyoncé re- Kevin Rudolf’s collaboration will most likely haunt radio lis- leased genuinely catchy, if not with Lil’ Wayne, “Let It Rock,” teners for at least the next two horribly addictive songs that have also seen a great deal of years. Entertainment’s Album Picks of 2008 #5 The Killers # 2 Coldplay Day and Age Viva La Vida A late entry but still an impor- ing around the album can be a One of the more iconic al- tant one, as it is almost another trip though, especially from the bums of the year came from redefining album for The Kill- techno-themed “Human,” to one of the most loved bands of ers. There is little connection to the more laid back “Joy Ride.” the decade; “Viva La Vida” gave the first work, “Hot Fuss,” and it As a whole, the Killers show off a new direction to all of Coldplay’s develops on their previous ef- skewed perspective of past and musical and general artistic di- fort in “Sam’s Town.” The entire modern music in its entirety, rection. The album in its entirety album is very experimental and and at times do rip off various is a journey with subtle nuances doesn’t hold a consistent style artists, but it is done tastefully seldom found in their previous but it is still enjoyable. Jump- and flagrantly. work “X&Y.” There are few true stand alone singles, but there is a flow to this album that paints an overall picture of medieval # 4 Death Cab for Cutie imagery. Aesthetics aside, it is a well paced album with little lin- posed easy to pick up for fan and Narrow Stairs gering and the music is well com- even newcomer to the group alike. There was little bad to say about Heart” was a pleasant surprise. this release, as it was the stan- The even bigger surprise was #1 Metallica dard Death Cab fare, but they this driving bass was a general definitely showed off a new at- theme throughout the album. Death Magnetic tention to some of their ses- Aside from the heightened at- The return of the origi- sions’ audio. The driving bass tention to the audio, this was nal kings of metal. Simply line and mainly instrumental simply another solid release put, this was the perfect repetition of “I Will Posses Your from this seasoned indie group. follow-up to any of their past albums since “Me- tallica.” This truly trumps all other albums on this # 3 B.B. King list in that there were no bad songs, no filler One Kind Favor songs, just rocking mu- B.B. King’s latest this year ent even to this day. He takes sic that shows Metallica took a step to put people back his own hand to each track is still on top. Godspeed in the heyday of the blues with and they sound as they should Lars, Mike, Kirk and Rob- his covers of some of the great- from the King. It’s not per say ert. You have given me est tracks ever laid down. That the music of our generation, reason to believe that said, it’s easy music to listen but this is truly something purely awesome music is to and it shows the man’s tal- timeless. still possible. All photos courtesy amazon.com Thursday, December 18, 2008 LIVING 5 How to: Plan your own perfect New Year’s party Melissa Schwenk Here are a few simple steps to ther. To help keep your party a variety and plenty of it. Decide Year’s playlist. This will keep all Guest Writer follow for planning the Perfect drama free, avoid inviting cou- whether you want to have a meal the songs you have on your iPod New Year’s Party, or any party ples who fight a lot or who are or just snacks and make sure “as a joke” from being played. Now that the year is winding for that matter. taking a break. Your New Year’s you tell your guests beforehand. Also, make sure you have a func- down, it’s time for parties and The most important part is party is not the place to try to Many a party has been ruined by tioning TV so people can watch get-togethers for the friends inviting people. What is a party get them back together, nor is guests who didn’t know the only the ball drop in Times Square. you haven’t seen since every- with only a host except a lonely it the place to encourage one dinner they would be getting Right before your party there one went off to college. And alcoholic sitting alone on their of them to date your coworker would be cocktail wieners. are a few last minute things to now that everyone is getting couch? or sister. You should also avoid One of the best things you can take care of. First, put away any- older, it’s also time for you to Creating your guest list can inviting friends who are no lon- do before buying the refreshments thing you don’t want played with, start taking charge of your New be daunting but a few guide- ger on speaking terms or people is to consult with your mom. She including your mother’s fi ne Year’s entertainment. While it lines help simplify the process. with a Montague-Capulet re- has probably thrown some par- China, your father’s golf clubs, or may seem easier for everyone First, decide whether you want lationship. Lastly, try to avoid ties and has some idea about how your sister’s diary. Put these in to just go to the same bar and a large party or an intimate get- inviting “That Guy,” the one no much food will feed how many a room that can be locked or in get tanked, it might be more fun together. Both have their pros one likes and who can’t hold his people. This will keep you from your car if you have no other op- (and cheaper) for you to throw and cons and you know best liquor. over buying or, conversly, running tion. Something that is especially a New Year’s party of your own. what you would prefer. Next, Since this is a casual party, it is out of food. Additionally, while it important at parties is to lock the pick an age not necessary to send out formal is great to try new things and have doors of rooms you don’t want group and invitations. However, there are exotic food, have a few party sta- people visiting. Lastly, make stick to it. a few things that you need to re- ples for those people whose pal- sure your house is clean. Don’t Don’t in- member when you invite people. ettes aren’t so adventurous. leave dirty dishes and laundry vite your Make sure you specify a dress Now that your guests are in- lying about and try to vacuum twelve year code. You don’t want to embar- vited and the food prepared, the fl oors. No one wants to party old niece rass someone when they show up you need to think about enter- when they think a cockroach to a party in black tie attire when you want- tainment. Games can be a fun might crawl over their toes. with your ed everyone to wear jeans and way to pass the time waiting for By following these easy steps twenty year sweaters. Also, ask them if they midnight. Avoid long, drawn out anyone can throw a good party. old friends. plan to bring a date. You don’t board games that have no end, And for you single guys out there, Reversely, want to run out of food because opting instead for games like you never know, a good party just your grand- you only planned for one half of “Scattergories” or “Apples to Ap- might be the way to that special ma prob- the couples. ples,” where everyone is involved girl’s heart. ably doesn’t One of the most important for every round but can leave at want to things about a party and what any time. Have some decks of If you have something you want spend New people really remember about it cards to go along with the adult explained, send your questions Year’s with (if they remember anything at all beverages as well. to the Rose Thorn at thorn@rose- Nick Easter / Cartoonist your college from New Year’s night) is the food. Help create a fun ambiance hulman.edu! You just might see a The Farmer and the Rabbit wish you Happy Holidays! friends ei- The key to food success is to have for the party by creating a New How To article about it. Pizza review: Sweet Lou’s Things to do over break Andrew Klusman is a good chance they’ve paid your for water, you can build awesome Pizzeria Express C o-Editor in Chief way through life, with food and snowmen out of it, and you can shelter, since you were a child, and make snow-angels out of it, which Clint Thompson the time over which I paid the bill. As you read this, a few thoughts are now footing Rose’s tuition, so is pretty cool. Not many other S t a f f W r i t e r Interestingly enough, I found out may be leisurely walking through you can spend a week or two with substances can do that. And, you a little about the history of Terre your head. One is probably re- them.) can combine any of the activities In this pre-break Thursday edi- Haute, Sweet Lou’s, and the roads lated to, “Friday cannot come fast Get in touch with old friends. If mentioned with the family! Bam, tion of the Rose Thorn, the quest and the ways they have changed. enough!” or the classic, “Why is you are anything like me, you may two things done. You can make a for Terre Haute’s best pizza has led We even discussed some of the odd the classroom clock stuck on the have lost some contact with some less-than-ideal situation great with us in a new direction. At the advice wintertime accidents that were oc- fi rst minute of the period?” Well, I good friends (or maybe just friends) some snow. If you’re not blessed of one of our readers, we sought curring around the freezing rain on have a better thought to consider. from high school after attending with snow during the holiday sea- out a little place on S. 25th Street, a the roads, and a little about some “What are you doing over break?” Rose, what with the 36 hours of sons (I’m talking you, Southern shop known as Sweet Lou’s Pizze- of the business they did with Rose What, you say? You don’t know? homework assigned for a 24 hour areas of the USA), I have no idea ria Express. It’s a streetside shop in faculty and students. After around Well, let me help you out here period, the free T-shirt giveaways what you should be doing, but you the 2700 block, if you want to drive twenty minutes, the pie arrived hot in determining what to do over you need to attend (because you know your climate better than I out and see it yourself. from the oven, but it seemed a very break (when you’re need to get them do. Just get outdoors and enjoy the Because the weather was bad short wait. blowing off your all!), and the late- weather! It beats being indoors for when I snuck in for a bite to eat, I Honestly, Jeshua’s pizza was a mounds of home- night partying your whole academic career. decided to eat in rather than eat tough act to follow. Nonetheless, work until the Sun- IfIf youyou everever (and/or gaming). Relax. Take a break! You deserve refrigerated pizza by the time I got Sweet Lou’s did not disappoint— day evening before So, the holidays it. Sleep in the entire fi rst weekend back to my quarters. The interior of one of my fellow eaters remarked class resumes). needneed a ann o organ,rgan, are the best the to catch up, but don’t sleep away the shop is small but very clean, set that while Jeshua’s was a restau- Spend time with to get back in your entire break. In addition to with two small tables seating four rant for pizza, Sweet Lou’s was a the family. That’s [family] are very touch with peo- the previous ideas, just do what each and a bar-style counter. It pizzeria. In fact, if I had a way to in- right, the family, ple! Something you loved to do before you entered might be a little small for a dinner dex “pizza” and have some kind of the dreaded killers likelylikely aatt tthehe ttopop about two-week Rose-Hulman as a student. Read soiree, but it serves a small group example, I would probably select of any good mood breaks and no a good book, play video games, or well. Further seating is available Sweet Lou’s based on my experi- you may have had, “ofof tthehe llist.ist. obligations really catch up on this season’s “House,” outside, but I think the subzero ence so far. The crust was not very the people pester- frees up that time “How I Met Your Mother,” or “The chill would have dimmed my spir- thick, but it was crisp on the out- ing you for a bit to do things you Big Bang Theory.” Or, even bet- its more than a little. Keep that op- side and sweet and chewy on the more time spent always wanted to ter, watch the fi rst four seasons of tion in mind in mid-spring as the inside; the sauce was sweet and with them. While your fi rst reac- do. If you’re the classical type, sit “LOST” in anticipation of the new weather gets warmer, though; it’d garlicky, but not overpowering; tion may be to take your laptop down, grab a nice pen and some season. Watching them all should be great to eat their pizza outside the cheese was considerably better and lock yourself in the bedroom, paper (or go buy some, that kind of dominate your break, so be care- on a warm evening. than your standard cheese (though or maybe to leave and go hang out ”stuff is always useful), and write up ful. The menu offers a fair selection not quite up to Jeshua’s mixture); with old friends, stop and think a nice letter to an old friend, giving Whatever you do during this of toppings. Standard fare applies, and the meats were quality (the about this. These people lived them a brief recap of how your life break, be sure to take full advan- with a few surprises like jalapeño bacon, I’m quite sure, had a capi- with you for a good chunk of time is going, how Rose is (maybe leave tage of it. Make it your break, and peppers, pepperoncinis, banana tal B and a bunch of exclamation and they are your fl esh and blood. out the worst parts, it’s not a letter do what you want to do. Because peppers, and garlic. They also of- points after it). The subtle touch If you ever need an organ, they are to get sympathy), and how you’d even after break, you need to come fer a Hawaiian that I’ll probably try that really won me over was the very likely at the top of the list. Do like to get back in touch. Then sign back to seven straight weeks of next time. The pizzas come in 7, fact that they garlic buttered the you want to get them angry at you? it, and leave your e-mail address Rose, and then you have fi nals. 12, 14, and 16-inch sizes (the 25th bottom of the crust. It makes more Or less-than-loving? Maybe now (for convenience, they’ll have your That won’t be fun for anyone (well, St. location also serves 18-inch of a difference than you might re- you do, but once you need that address from the return address) aside from the professors who love pizzas, but their location in Seely- alize! The pizza was pretty fi lling, organ you won’t! Well, as much below your signature. If you’re to torture students), so get all your ville does not). For a two-topping but I can’t comment on how well it as your little brother may love to thinking “lame,” well then, life is fun in now! 14-inch pizza, expect to pay about keeps and reheats simply because see how fast he can get his older a tad bit easier. All you need to $14.50. The menu includes a num- there was none left by the time the brother angry, it’s probably out of do is send an e-mail to the afore- ber of sandwiches and appetizers, pizza was fi nished. love. So, over this holiday break, mentioned friend with roughly the Are you having prob- and it offers three different kinds If you’re looking for what may be be sure to spend a decent amount same content as the written letter. of salads. the quintessential pizza or want to of time with your family. They If you want to add a bit more to the lems in your relation- I chose a pizza with bacon, sau- enjoy a good pie at home, I strong- probably miss you throughout e-mail, send a funny e-card. Either ship? sage, onion, and green olive just to ly recommend Sweet Lou’s deliv- the school year, and would really way, the point is to get in touch try a variety of the toppings. After ery. When you’re in the mood to try appreciate seeing their grown-up with these old friends. ordering, I shot the breeze with the something new (yet so traditional), college student! Besides, then you Enjoy the weather. I don’t know Ask Ladies Man: woman at the counter for a few give them a call at 812-234-1800 or get home-cooked meals, or you where you’re going, but regard- thorn@ minutes while the cook went back 812-877-6776 for the Seelyville lo- get restaurants paid for you (de- less of the destination, enjoy the rose-hulman.edu and prepared the pie, and I can’t re- cation. I certainly don’t think you’ll pending on your parents) which weather. Snow is cool. You can call another time I actually enjoyed regret it. is pretty nice of them. (Plus, there throw it at people, you can melt it 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn The Price is right seriously. Mark Minster

Christine Price Really? Is that it? I mean, of all the done penis line drawing. And it’s It’s about a week before Christ- age. (If you pedal a stationary bike Opinions Editor things that could have been writ- got an apostrophe. But it’s still mas, and I’m feeling charitable. hard for an hour, you could prob- ten, they chose “Can’t stop yeah”? quite terrible. My wallet’s thin and mice have ably generate about 100 watts. So, you might not have noticed, They could have made it dirty, with I’m quite against graffiti. I like chewed through my bank account, Why don’t we have bike-pedal but I tend to write fairly regularly the integral of e to the x. Or dirty how Rose looks; it doesn’t need but it’s the season for giving, and generators in our classrooms? No for this page. And there is always and complicated, with the integral your pathetic attempts at “art.” If my gift is that I’ve decided NOT to one would fall asleep, and fewer of a different headline. But starting of 2xdx from ten to thirteen. True, you go to Rose, you are no Bansky. use this column today to excori- us would be driving to the SRC to now, I’m going to probably call it’s better than the classic yet over (Don’t know who he is? Google ate those who are opposed to en- exercise. About that … seriously. If it “The Price is right” every him. It’s totally worth it.) ergy-saving projects that go by the you’re driving to the SRC for exer- week. Because my last name At some schools, they name “sustainability.” Instead, I’m cise, what are you thinking?) is Price. And I am right. have designated areas for letting them off the hook. So: pax 5. In tens of thousands, the About everything. spray paint. Students or vobiscum, suckers. Go in peace. number of pounds of recyclables Let’s take graffiti, as an ex- clubs sign up, and use the Instead, I’ll throw out some Rose recycled in just six months ample. For months there has space for advertisements or numbers, a la “The Twelve Days of last year. Also, in thousands of been a spray paint bottle in stress relief. Painting a giant Christmas.” pounds, the amount of electronic the stairwell of Apartments portrait of a calculus home- 12. The percentage by which waste we recycled in one week- West. And just this weekend, work assignment going up Rose-Hulman lowered its energy end in December 2007. (Cheers, someone decided that they in flames certainly sounds usage in 2008. (Cheers!) again!) couldn’t wait for Chalk on the more therapeutic than the 11. The number of money-sav- 4. The number of sustainability Walk. No, instead they want- stress busters the Learning ing, energy-saving tips provided “principles,” according to The ed non-school-sanctioned Center hands out. Perhaps by the Northeast Sustainable Edu- Natural Step, the world’s leading vandalism. So someone, in Rose should start this. Or cation Association. One of these is sustainability non-profit organi- what I can only imagine was perhaps the sound-proof-ish TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER AT zation. These principles are based an altered state of conscious- music rooms could be rented NIGHT. They didn’t shout it, I did. on four properties of the earth’s ness, took the can of spray out for yelling. Or maybe the And if you’re worried about what own inherently sustainable sys- paint and wrote, “Can’t stop Courtesy of Allie Terrell SRC could get some punch- turning it off every night will do tem. On its own, “nature is not yeah.” And this leaves me Rose-Hulman: Where your grafitti hasn’t ing bags. Maybe then the to your poor machine, consider subject to systematically increas- with a couple of questions. been good enough since 1874 vandalism can stop. Yeah. that computers nowadays can be ing concentrations of substances switched on approximately 40,000 extracted from the earth, concen- times before showing adverse ef- trations of substances produced fects. 365 by society, SE: the other real engineer days a year d e g r a d a - x 10 years tion by Chis “Bearded Chris” Riley homework), this sort of argument took the place of (like you’ll p h y s i c a l Guest Writer doing real work. Back then, the typical justification keep it that Isn’t it high time means, and, for saying that we aren’t engineers is that we don’t take long) x 10 in that soci- So, I was extrapolating chainsaws of bloody dis- “ConApps” or “Meatballs.” Of course, now that CPE’s o n - a n d - we start celebrat- ety, people memberment in Bangkok, when someone told me and EE’s don’t have to take ConApps, this has been offs a day are not sub- that I’m not an engineer. generalized to “Well, SE’s don’t take systems classes.” (like you do ing condom usage ject to con- This isn’t new to me. Most of us students in the Considering the course name of CSSE 332 (Operating that), and ditions that Software Engineering Department deal with this sort Systems), I think that that argument refutes itself. you’ve still “and stop claiming systemati- of dismissal on a regular basis, along with accusa- The follow-up complaint is that unlike other engi- got a few cally under- tions that we smell bad and eat meat on Fridays. As neering disciplines, we don’t interact with the physi- h u n d r e d that, ‘be fruitful mine their someone who eats meat every day, I figured that I’d cal world, and don’t have to conserve resources. This left. capacity to put the matter to rest once and for all. is like saying that penguins aren’t birds because they 10. The and multiply’ is di- meet their I decided to prove that software engineers are, in don’t have wings. In other words, it isn’t true (we have percentage needs.” As fact, real engineers. Fortunately, that task turned out to conserve CPU cycles, and strive for efficient algo- of energy vine advice for all Mike Myers to be simple. Dictionary.com defines “engineer” as rithms), and isn’t relevant (penguins are birds; they consump- used to say “a person who operates or is in charge of an engine.” can’t fly). tion of the time? on SNL’s Most of us operate engines by means of driving cars, The next common complaint is “Well, SE’s don’t most ener- Coffee Talk so I was done. have to be certified.” Besides the fact that there are gy-efficient with Linda Unfortunately, most people didn’t find that very many certified SE’s (such as our recently certified buildings Richman, convincing. Moreover, despite the soundness of the professor, Don Bagert), there’s the fact that software compared with the average Amer- “Discuss.” typical argument we provide (we use the same pro- development organizations as a whole typically need ican building. (Q: What is 10% of 3.” The traditional num- cesses of requirements gathering, design, implemen- to be certified to get contracts (ISO 9000 certification $1 million a year? A: 90% less than ber of overlapping spheres of tation, and testing as other engineers), it doesn’t con- comes to mind). Besides, certifications are just mean- we’re paying now!) sustainability: economy, environ- vince most people either. This shouldn’t be surprising, ingless pieces of paper (kind of like diplomas). 9. In tens of thousands of dol- ment, and society. Do good, in as “Logic” is a course taught in the CSSE department The fact of the matter is, SE’s are real engineers, in lars, about the amount Rose-Hul- other words, conserve/preserve (CSSE 490. taught by Dr. Wollowski). much the same way that comic books are real books man spends on electricity every resources, and save money. When I was a freshman (and thus didn’t have and that hot dogs are real dogs. month. 2. The number of eyes you have, 8. The kind of fluorescent lights unless you’re a geek like me. The we’re shifting to, T8, which use number of hands you have. Do about a third of the watts and last good, in other words. Letter to the editor up to 25% longer than T12 lights. 1. The number of people, I was Who knew? going to say, it takes to get things Dear Editor, person in politics who is against alienates the fiscal conservatives 7. In billions, the projected size started. But that’s not quite true. It these ideas. However, when “fam- who aren’t the stereotypical god- of the world’s population by 2012. takes all of us. All of us switching I feel that two of the past opin- ily values” are used for gay-bash- fearing, bible-thumping group It was about half that when I was off lights, turning off computers ions, one by Sid Ullrich and the ing reasoning, I find it to be as that tend to populate the edges of born. And although it’s not like at night, printing double-sided, other by the team of Rachael sickening as using “family values” the Republican Party. Americans are primarily respon- printing less, turning down ther- Nestor and Ric Halvorson, have for the racist anti-miscegenation The most inflammatory sible for this exponential growth, mostats—all of us. So let’s just say shown the two wings of our politi- laws of the past. thing in these articles had to be isn’t it high time we start celebrat- “1” is the number of partridges in cal spectrum to be so overblown In Ullrich’s article, he puts forth Halvorson’s casual dismissal of ing condom usage and stop claim- pear trees, or the number of days that they have become a new lev- the idea that the Republican Party free speech when he claimed it ing that “be fruitful and multiply” the eternal flame was supposed el of humor in themselves. was used as a tool by some is divine advice for all time? to burn in the Temple, though it Sid Ullrich’s article is so unknown group to take 6. The approximate number of burned for eight days, at the Mac- melodramatic, so confron- Throwing direct in- down Christmas decora- cents Rose pays per kilowatt-hour. cabean rededication of the Tem- tational, that it can only tions. How could anyone, Expect that number to go up, as it’s ple, or the number of planets on be a source of humor and sults at each other any person who actually already below the national aver- which humans can live. Nestor’s and Halvorson’s knows what is going on in letters are as cookie-cutter isn’t helping the issue the world, dismiss the core Have opinions? Send them to Republican as one could belief of free speech? [email protected] possibly achieve. I see both sides of this is- To start, I am a centrist. “ I be- is on a doomed spiral to oblivion sue. I lean right in fiscal situations lieve that small government is if they don’t get their act together. because I think the government son have a good point in that is too big for any one person to good, but I think that personal This is a laughable idea. The Re- handles money like a 6-year-old dismissing an entire section of tackle. But throwing direct insults freedoms should not be limited publicans won’t disappear. They’ll in a toy store, and I lean left on so- the populus as somehow stupid at each other isn’t helping the sit- by the meaningless phrases “fam- reform like the Democrats in 2006 cial issues because I think people or naïve for voting for someone uation. If we want to mend some ily values” or “common decency.” and be strong once more,” but don’t need a government dictating else is arrogant and mean-spir- of these gaps, there needs to be These phrases have now become there is one roadblock that some what is or isn’t proper. I think that ited. I disagree with Nestor and a mutual respect and an under- buzzword to mean xenophobic, Republicans don’t seem to under- Ullrich has a good point in that Halvorson’s extreme position of standing that conservatives and homophobic, reactionary ideas stand: people hate Sarah Palin. people won’t unite around a per- assuming that conservatives are liberals love America and want to that have since lost their mean- It’s the truth. You love her or hate son who stands for only one side the ones who care about America make it strong. This country sur- ings in the political world. What her. People who loved her voted of a party, but I find his points are while the rest would rather see it vives on debate and arguments, are “family values?” Caring for for her, and she lost. Any idea of buried under his disparagement break apart. but please, keep the insults and your family? Working well with founding a revitalized Republican of his opponent’s ideals. I also These issues won’t be decided platitudes to yourself. others? I can’t think of a single Party around her (or Huckabee) think that Nestor and Halvor- here, or anywhere, because it Joel Beally Thursday, December 18, 2008 SPORTS 7 Engineer Scoreboard Men’s Basketball Women’s Basketball Michael 4-5 (1-3) 3-4 (2-2)

December 13 December 13 Gerdov Rose-Hulman 78 Rose-Hulman 52 at Mt. St. Joseph 71 at Mt. St. Joseph 51

December 16 December 16 Robert-Morris Springfi eld Rose-Hulman 76 OT at Earlham College 72 at Rose-Hulman PPD Tim Boyer nior year of high school and was RT: Many times participants that Copy Editor part of the RHIT dive team last are selected to participate in year. This is currently my third the national tournament earn Wrestling For the fi rst time in Fightin’ year diving, second year for Rose. a provisonal score twice in the Engineer sports history, sopho- diving season. Do you think December 13 more electrical engineering ma- RT: Last weekend, you provi- you can accomplish this feat jor Michael Gerdov provisionally sionally qualifi ed for the NCAA again? Ohio Northern Invitational qualifi ed for the 2008 NCAA Divi- Division III National Diving Tour- MG: The idea behind diving is Ada, OH Goble 3rd sion III National Diving Compe- nament. How does it feel to be consistency. I would love to con- tition. On Saturday, December 6, the fi rst Rose student to accom- tinue the progress and maintain Gerdov posted a score of 432.95 plish this? the scores for the rest of the sea- from 11 dives on the one meter MG: It was my fi rst opportunity son. board. His score lifted him to fi rst in the season to try and break the Post-game rundown place in the one meter diving at qualifying score and my diving RT: What’s the most meaning- the Rose-Hulman Diving Invita- that day was stronger than usual. ful award or recognition that James Shaw We arrived, got dressed and tional. I ended up completing the goal you’ve received? Head Men’s went through our pre-game Because there is subjectivity my coach had set much earlier MG: This would actually be the Basketball Coach talk very quickly and took an to the scoring of diving, Gerdov’s than he had planned for. I per- fi rst time I have received recog- abbreviated warm-up. Maybe dive will be reviewed by a com- sonally never imagined reach- nition for diving. Last year, Matt [Editor’s note: On Tuesday because of that we were a step mittee before the fi eld of contes- ing this point in my diving and Melton and I both placed top night, the men’s basketball team slow and a little lethargic. We tants is chosen. His chances are it means so much more because three at conference but that was braved the poor weather condi- got a little life in the second improved if he can break the pro- of the support of Coach Carey only discussed amongst us. Win- tions for their game against half and played much better, visional score mark again (275 Stapleton and teammates Matt ning at the Engineer’s Invite was Earlham College in Richmond, before stumbling a little at the for six dives, 425 for 11 dives), Melton, Mark Parzych, and Sam defi nitely the most meaningful Indiana. The men won their end to enable Earlham to force especially if he does at the Col- Danesis. moment in my diving career when previous away game last Satur- overtime. They scored the fi rst lege Conference of Illinois and I saw how happy I had made my day at the College of Mount St. fi ve points of overtime, but in- Wisconsin (CCIW) meet. (The RT: Per NCAA rules, your quali- coach. Joseph and were poised to take stead of panicking or hanging swimming and diving squads fying dive is subject to video re- this one from the Quakers.] our heads, we methodically are members of the CCIW since view by the selection commmit- RT: How has participating in a eliminated the lead and even- the Heartland Collegiate Ath- tee. Do you think the committee varsity sport had an effect on Contrary to what people tually took over the game and letic Conference (HCAC) doesn’t will agree with the score? your experience at Rose? may say, all wins are a good won. Those fi ve points were sponsor those sports.) MG: All I can do is dive to the best MG: It has allowed me to be a thing. If the team plays poorly the only ones they scored in Recently, Michael Gerdov took of my abilities and compete. I’ll part of a team that includes many and it wins, it can hopefully the overtime period. I was the time to answer some ques- edit a video to send to the com- great members. Coach Crawford learn some things while not very pleased with our poise tions for The Rose Thorn. mittee and see what they say. Hav- and the swimmers are an amazing paying the cost of a loss on and toughness in overtime. ing hope or not, it comes down to collection of hardworking people. its overall record. As a result Although we are very young Rose Thorn: How long have you them narrowing it to the top 22 It’s a positive environment to be we have to be happy with our with four freshman seeing sig- been diving? divers in Division III, and where I around and I look forward to ev- road win at Earlham this week. nifi cant playing time (Blake Michael Gerdov: I started my se- stand against that list. ery practice. We have really been improving Knotts, Jason Haslag, Spencer the last few weeks with a very Harlan and Tre’ Hall), it was young team. I felt we back slid our not so grizzled veterans a little last night but were still who have led us lately (senior Women’s basketball im- able to post a road win. Lorenzo Rice, junior Jeff Mc- We faced some diffi cult Cartney, and sophomore Dan circumstances due to the Lowers). We need to get the proves to 2-2 in HCAC with weather. To avoid missing any same production out of those classes we left immediately af- experienced players while our ter ninth period, which should youngsters learn how to be have gotten us to the game in consistent. When those two road win at MSJ plenty of time. Instead, due groups both play well at the to icy roads, it took us three same time we could be a very Rose-Hulman News bounds and sophomore Donna ference play, while Mount St. hours and 40 minutes to make dangerous team for our oppo- Marsh pitched in with six points Joseph dropped to 2-5 overall a two-and-a-half hour drive. nents to handle. The women’s basketball team for Rose-Hulman. Sophomore and 0-2 in league games. The improved to 2-2 in Heartland Col- Eli Baca and freshman Alisa Engineers host Marian College legiate Athletic Conference play Dickerson each had seven re- (Ind.) in non-conference action with a 52-51 victory at Mount St. bounds for the Engineers. tomorrow evening at 6 p.m. Goble places strong third at Joseph on Saturday afternoon. Lauren Schaller led the Rose-Hulman led by as many Mount St. Joseph offense Ohio Northern Invitational as 12 points in the second half with 15 points and six re- before Mount St. Joseph rallied bounds, as the Lions scored Rose-Hulman News of Campbellsville, Goble com- to tie the score at 48-48 with 1:50 33 points in the second half. pleted his third place effort with left in the contest. Senior Liz Mount St. Joseph led 11- Senior Tyler Goble fi nished 4-1 a pin over Jarrod Shaw of NCAA Ridgway answered with a basket 9 early in the game, before and earned a third place fi nish at Division II nationally ranked West to make the score 50-48 with 1:15 eight straight points by Rose- one of the nation’s most challeng- Liberty State. left. Hulman made the score 17- ing small college For his efforts, After a Mount St. Joseph turn- 11. Henke capped the rally wrestling tourna- Goble also cap- over, junior Shayna Banet buried with a layup. ments on Satur- tured his sec- two free throws with 24 seconds The lead reached 20-13 day. ond Heartland left to make the score 52-48. Brit- on a three-pointer by soph- Goble recorded Collegiate Ath- tany Sparks answered with a omore Nicole Klass at the two pins among letic Conference three-pointer with 6.5 seconds 9:10 mark of the opening his four wins at Wrestler of the left to make the score 52-51. half. Sophomore Donna the Ohio North- Week award on Following a missed throw by Marsh added the fi nal score ern Invitational. the 2008-09 sea- the Engineers with 5.7 seconds of the fi rst half as Rose-Hul- His victories in- son. left, an outlet pass to midcourt man held a 28-18 lead at the cluded decisions Freshman Jer- was defl ected out of bounds with break. over Division III emiah Edwards 1.8 seconds left. Rose-Hulman’s After Mount St. Joseph foes Devin Henry and senior Ryan defense held the Lions without a closed to within 30-26, two of Heidelberg and Schalk added shot in its fi nal effort. straight baskets by Ridg- A.J. Mascaro of two wins each Ridgway led the Engineer ef- way and three points from Wilmington, be- Rose-Hulman News as part of Rose- fort with her sixth career dou- Henke helped the Engineers fore Goble pinned Tyler Goble placed a strong third Hulman’s team ble-double. Ridgway scored 13 regained a 12-fi gure lead at Rose-Hulman News fourth seeded at Ohio Northern. effort. points and 11 rebounds on the 41-29 midway through the Jake Blackwell of Rose-Hulman day. second half. Liz Ridgway recorded a double- Division II Indianapolis. goes on holiday break before re- Sophomore Theresa Henke Rose improved to 3-4 on double to help the Engineers top After a second period loss to turning to action on Jan. 10 at added eight points and two re- the season and 2-2 in con- the Lions. eventual champion James Linker Knox College. IIX FLIPSIDE The Rose Thorn Oh yeah, that’s right, we did it. We’re awesome. We know. T Y Top Twelve ways to Top Eleven signs Top Ten engineer- James Zhoulake someone He’s Being Laked for This Right...Now of the season ing bands Noel Spurgeon 12. Announce to a large audience that it’s their birthday. (Easy, lazy) She’s Reading All the Signs...All of Them James Zhou On Random Repeat 11. Outside the bathroom door ambush. Can’t fight back while hold- 11. Suddenly, there’s more foliage than you’ve seen for months … and ing a towel on (Easy and dastardly) it’s inside. 10. ABBE 10. The normal configuration of your furniture has been replaced 10. Convince them to lake themselves with words and alcohol (Very 9. Rolling Mills Difficult, except during tenth week) with a blanket igloo. 9. You’re considering investing in a dogsled. Or a snowmobile. 8. Nevermadesense 9. Set up a series of trampolines, and then push them out of a win- dow (Difficult, but hilarious) 8. It takes you a half hour to put on all your cold-weather gear in the morning 7. 100000 Scoville Chili Peppers 8. Shoot them from a cannon, powered by compressed air (Difficult, 7. The trays at the ARA are beginning to look very, very useful… yet impressive) 6. Coldweld 6.There is a chart on your wall with the amount of time until break in 7. Shoot them from a cannon, powered by explosions (Difficult, but days, hours, seconds, milliseconds… 5. Metallic messy) 5. You’ve rewritten all the holiday songs you know with science 4. My C8H10N4O2 Romance 6. Construct a slip and slide, by oiling the sidewalks near speed lake themes (Oh Calculus, Oh Calculus…). (Medium. Who did it with ice earlier this week?) 4. You’ve mapped out the locations of all buildings on campus to 3. Nonstandard Length Nails minimize time spent outside. 5. Gather a mob (Medium, I’m in) 2. AC/DC Transformer 3. You’ve calculated exactly how much Christmas your electrical outlet can handle. 4. Gather a drunken mob (Easy, I’ll watch) 1. 50 PerCent 2. Even the Civils are having class inside. 3. Hire a cute lifeguard to watch over Speed Lake (Easy, but expen- sive) 1. “Laking” becomes synonymous with “blunt force trauma.” Top Eight 2. Publish a dare on the Flipside ($10 per person, 100% success rate) Top Seven Rose reasons the 1. Suddenly! (Look behind you...) weighted Top Nine signs you know fallback jobs compan- your child was born for Rose Matt Melton

Nick Donatucci With the Help of Molly G on the Piano... ion cube is D i s p l a y e d “The Knack” at the Age of Two 7. Computer Science—Prostitution. They’re already used to selling themselves by the hour...(Send all hate mail to Christine Price...) 9. They are the five-time first place winner of their elementary better than school’s Nerd Run event duing field day. 6. ChemE—Laundromat Attendant. I honestly don’t remember why, your com- 8. They escaped from their crib at a young age—by disassembling it. but someday at 2 a.m., there was a really good explanation for this.

7. You always find them outside carrying mysteriously large candy 5. Biomedical Engineer—Marine Biologist. Less engineering, more panion canes... women. Plus, marine is French for “easy.” What more could you want? Allie Terrell The Social CS Guest 6.They’ve been injured using a cafeteria tray as a sled. 4. Physics—Philosopher. Same crazy stuff no one but you can ex- plain, but without all that complicated math getting in the way. W r i t e r ... If That’s Pos - 5. Your daughter has always wanted attention like a princess. s i b l e 3. Mechanical Engineer—Civil Engineer. Everything gets easier when 8. Most guys on campus have a 4. Your child pauses to calculate air density and wind speed before it quits moving. throwing a frisbee. companion cube (or a chance in hell of getting one). 2. Economics—Financial Advisor. Economists are wrong, the econ- 3. They used chalk to convert the brick of a building into a complete omy goes bad. Financial advisors are wrong, my college fund goes 7. It helps you reach new heights. 8-bit rendering of a Super Mario Brothers level. bad. A perfect relationship. 6. It never cheats. 2. Their first words were something along the lines of “ohms,” “math,” 1. Mathematics—Weatherman. Now it’s okay to be close to right every or “electrophoresis.” single day. 5. Always good for a pick-me-up. 1. You find out they’re using the term “big-bang” in their pick-up lines. Top Six Rose unit 4. It’s edgier. Top Five Wacky Prof 3. It knows how to push all the conversions right buttons. Matt Melton 2. It never has a problem with its Quotes of this week weight. Matt Melton But What Does One Flipside Equal??? Y o u Knew I’d Sneak This in Somehow... 6. 1 Mechanical pencil = 100 Not-mechanical pencils. 1. It never says no. “I don’t like torture that much.” — Dr. McClellan. What’s the unit 5. 5. 1 Metric (you know)Ton = The time taken to finish one Meatballs conversion for “that” right there? assignment. Top Two bi- 4. “I like to use drugs rather than test them.” — Dr. Inlow. Ironically, 4. 12 Pabst Blue Ribbon = 8 Natty Ice = 1 Unscheduled Sleep-in = 1 nary symbols in a related method, I like to fail tests rather than take them. failed test. Matt Melton 3. 10 Men trying to gather freshmen guys = 1 girl not trying to gather 3. “Hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass. English units are not.” — Dr. No Numbers 3 freshmen guys. Sanders. Um...I’m just going to say “touche” to that one... T h r o u g h 9 W e r e 2. 1 TI-83 = 1/2 TI-84 = MAPLE ^ 2. H armed in the Making 2. “People will think you’re the best thing since pockets on a shirt.” of This Top T w o — Dr. Morris, whom apparently has never heard of sliced bread. 1. 1 All-Nighter = 1 more day of regular Rose life. 2. 1 1. “Then she would catch a child and it would be a feast day for her, Top Three “Would you om nom nom yum.”— Dr. Heeter. Thank you, and good night! 1. 0 Top Four misguided Rather’s” of this week The Men of Scharp 4 Top One alcoholism quotes And Ladies, They’re Single... Well, Mostly ways I pro- 3. Would you rather keep all your Christmas presents OR trade the Matt Melton best gifts you get for automatic A’s on this week’s exams? F l i p s i d e ’ s Going Educational ..Kind of... crastinate 2. Would you rather spend the first three days of your vacation in the 4. Denial is like perserverance, and perserverance is a virtue! Matt Melton Bahamas OR sleeping in on your own bed/couch/floor at home? 3. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings. Dr. Melton, Profes - 1. Would you rather have an X-mas gift from Rose in the form of a sor of Procrastinat i o n 2. Rehab is for quitters! Taco Bell on campus OR the addition of enough girls to make the girl 1. It’s not alcoholism if I’m in college. to guy ration 50/50? (60/40 perhaps?) 1. The obligatories: Pirates, and I wrote this bottom line while high on Mountain Dew. Next, a shout-out to my homies that helped me write this awesome page...Free ice cream in my room for you five anytime. Now then, the song: On the twelfth day this quarter, my teacher gave to me: Twelve nights of study, eleven packs for review, ten sheets of homework, nine lab instructions, eight-page long essay, seven dropbox deadlines, six times I’ll ditch work, FIVEEEE REASONS TO CRYYYY!!! Four foreign movies, Three pre-labs, two tests I’ll fail, and an all-nighter til this quarter ends.