The Drink Tank

Issue 143 The Drink Tank isn’t always expressed without any sort of digitalrobotics: cowardly roadside boobs, wrestling and stories of regret or self-editing. bombs... iraqi insurgents are drinking. Once in a while, someone If this lies beneath, will it burst to the cowards will send me something that both surface in uncontrolled violence tuttle63: cowards?..i think the Iraqi excites and worries me. Typically, and ? resistance is quite brave and that someone is Frank Wu, and this heroic when you consider what is another one. they are up against JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE handy0070: End violence, end by suffering: end Islam Frank Wu elementsb4eva: God bless our godlike troops, let the unfortunate ones Despite “Avenue Q” telling me that rest in peace in heaven. As for “everyone’s a little bit racist,” I bush, let him rot in hell. don’t encounter a lot of racism discobiscuits0: Fuck IEDs. Fuck Iraq. in my day-to-day life. I know We need to get the fuck out of it exists - at least intellectually there. - but I like to think that RGaunt88: so the iraque’s just planted humanity’s becoming more a bomb and it is pretty much like civilized. I’d like to think that a mine if u run over it it blows racism is disappearing. up????? u guys r luck USMC YouTube tells me I am wrong, very stevenhelton: No it’s not a mine, they very wrong. Not necessarily usually attach a cell phone and the videos, but the Comments all they need to do is to call it Section. Racist videos can be and it explodes. flagged as “Inappropriate,” but topslop1: Thats gay as hell.. IEDS take not so racist comments. lives and its a pussy war, not And we see on YouTube the racism even a shooting war anymore. running like a deep torrent OMGITSANOREO: How the Fuck does of raw sewage under our city IRAQIS AND AMERICANS that Third world country have streets. Not mild racism, but These are direct quotations from the fucking cell phones?? dialog that quickly degenerates comments section of a video in macpeace: they (animal troop) deserve into name-calling and war- which a U.S. Humvee is hit by to death...why they attack that cries to “Kill Them All.” I don’t an IED (roadside bomb). The country? all citizen over there know if I’m more shocked by IED isn’t very effective, though, just defend their country, home, the thoughts expressed, or the and the soldiers laugh when they family,.. not like bush.. suck fact that they’re expressed all realize they are ok. their oil, create story september around the world, or that they’re 11, to attack middle east,.1st..we just want sell our bullets, gun, inflicted by a white police officer. work feeds 21 million mouths. weapon, make war like game. let Even after the case went to How many boomerangs and they dieeeee.!!!!! burn in hell with court, the cop was not punished. woomeras would you need to bush and the gang...die you all do the same ‘the sustainable fuckerrrrr.. hahhahahahah. god AndersLive: *** Yawn *** aboriginal way?’ It’s people bles u freedom fighter..defend makwaa1: This is such a useless video. like you, throwing up scrappy your country, home, family..we What exactly do you hope to arguments and fueling hatred are no 1 terorist achieve by running us through that need to educate yourselves 0331: macpeace is retarded!!! the ‘destruction’ of Aboriginal further. Do you have a solution stevenhelton: He is a insurgent people? They had 40,000 years for the problem? If so, please let ahhahahah die pig!! to civilise a whole continent. us know. Don’t be so fashionably wkh88: could you marines go kill some The new wave of migrants from green and argue for the sake of sand niggers? nearly all of them Europe did it in just over 200. it. are insurgents or sympathizers, We have enough problems ray25620: It’s pathetic the way you just kill some randomly. dealing with Aboriginal issues. fawn over Aborigines. White Lachausis: shut up, you racist! You Why can’t we look forward as one people invented anaesthetics, can’t speak like that about the country and one people, instead medicines, vaccinations, and whole nation. of lamenting the past injustices? discovered the germ theory avenger007007: yes he can katedorrough: Please educate yourself of disease, apart from all the furthur on this subject. The other accomplishments unique Aboriginal people DID civilise the to the white man (note MAN). continent - ON THIER TERMS, Yet you fawn over people who in THEIR way- not in WESTERN made nothing more than the TERMS- ALL THINGS THAT boomerang and the didgeridoo. WESTERNERS DO IS RIGHT, gateway1178: Actually your wrong right? NOT!!!! They shaped about white people inventing and nurtured this continent medicines, the real father of in a SUSTAINABLE way, medicine was an Afrikan multi- through FIRE and their form of genius known as Imhotep,(a agriculture was to re-plant the black man). He is also known as roots of the plants they pulled the god of medicine. The greeks out, so that next year, the same got this knowledge from the plant would be there, in exactly kamites and that is how whites BLACK and WHITE in AUSTRALIA the same place, again. All you come to know of medicine and These comments follow a video of a proved was your ignorance. Herbs. news report: an aboriginal man makwaa1: don’t white farmers do the Machetazo1: Haha yeah it’s like died in prison from wounds same? Farm and replant? Their italians who think tomatoes originated in italy, when in evolved people” What a joke unforgiveness, so healing can REALITY never has a single you are. Why don’t you go and happen, even in this small “roman” even SEEN a tomato. live amongst them then? White measure....let forgiveness begin They originated in Mexico,and people from Europe are the most to flow throughout this land. Not therefore should be called spiritually evolved. The greatest Terra Nullius, but Terra Spiritus; Cuauhtepec and Atlapa philosophers, Kant, Kiekegaard, the Great South Land of the Holy tomatoes,not “roma” and “san Locke, Descartes. The greatest Spirit;so we can be the Great marzano”tomatoes,but you writers and poets, Woolf, Eliot, South Land of love, acceptance know europeans,always naming Keats, Shakespeare, Chaucer. and forgiveness, where the things after themselves.Just The list of great Europeans is peoples are one in Spirit and in like the “pizza” which is from endless. Aborigines just want to Truth. PERSIA,and noodles form get drunk. PorkyHonky: evil white people CHINA,the “tortellini” copied off chezza1967: ... I still say before the bozes: fuck all the aboriginals off the won ton. White people need whiteman came to Australia, just shoot them all they are all to get over themselves. we were so healthy and happy fucking useless i think we should ray25620: Electric power: Michael that the bush medicines we kill them all and feed them to the Faraday. Radio: Marconi. Germ used were enough. Our biggest poor kids overseas thats all their theory of disease: Louis Pasteur. problem before white man, was good for the fucking black cunts Powered flight: the Wright snake bites, burns and the brothers. Gramaphone record: infection here and there. Our Edison. Computer, Viagra, bush medicines which included Internet, Anaesthetic, Internal herbal painkillers where combustion engine, etc etc etc enough to treat these. We lived all invented by WHITE MEN of happily without all the modern European ancestry. No wonder technology etc. non-whites hate and envy us, korninator: im white and i feel bad as we are so obviously superior about what my ancestors did when it comes to making the to the aboriginal population... i world a more comfortable, wish i could go back and change intersting, and safer place. it... they did a very bad deed... doggoleslurry: ray25620 = moron they left survivors. stupid abos aboriginals are spiritually they should have wiped em out evolved people that lived off the while they had the chance. land and were quite content firesonglady: Indigenous peoples of living without all the technology Australia, please forgive me the whites had... and my ancestors and release ray25620: “aboriginals are spiritually me/us from your anger and and make em h8 japs dicked, rice-eyed, powerless Intranetusa: Chinese, Japanese, and migits who eat sticky-rice. you Koreans hate each other thanks gooks and japs can’t open your to WW2. oh well... eyes to see that fact. open your yoNY1yo: actually, they hate each eyes u gookityjappitychinkity other even before WW2. subhumans. itgeek8888: I’ve known many Japanese seanki11: IAMTHEBEST-uneducated people in the United States. piece of ignorant trash. What I’ve noticed with them is, Intranetusa: koreans/chinese eat they are very bitter people. One dogs japanese eat whales and of the reasons is because their dolphins fuk that shit country is the only country that kiyohama: American can eat my ass. CHINESE, KOREANS and JAPANESE was bombed with A-bomb. They Juanserz: racists is very GOOD!! I LIKE Again, these are direct quotations from were also capture and hauled IT. AND IT WOULD NEVER END the comments section. to internment camps. One of kjo616: As you can see from the them used to work as my yard comments below, Japs are the ShowJumper1334: We need to stop maintenace guy. I fired him worst human kind there is. No racism...it’s terrible!!! because he was very sneaky and wonder so many people hate jhsakana: We need to stop Koreans cheated on the bills. He pretty Japs. Disgusting. from hating Japan. Vice versa. much smiled in front of me and myASIMO: kjo616: If you don’t think koreanpunk92: y? japanese fucks stabbed me in the back. there is no solution to the treated us like shit...they’ll never itgeek8888: Koreans, on the other rascism in Japan and what are learn hand, were very honest and hard you doing in Japan? Why are Intranetusa: Japan, Korea, and China worker. He did not say much, you in Japan? Instead of making got screwed over thanks to like that Japanese guy, but did the blanket statements why don’t European imperialism... exactly what he promised. And, you put your comment to that elsalfo: the racisim will pry neva end he billed me exactly what I was one person. One by one that is (least not for anuter cpl hundred told. I have many friends that what you should do. Don’t you yrs)..only takes 1 guy to piss off tell me the same story: Japanese think so? This non-sense got to 100ppl who then go and become people are often deceptive stop. We have a bigger fish to fry racist, btw i dont agree with u about their services. Since this you know. sayin most is japanese on korean incident, I try not to trust any of kjo616: Japs, All they did in WWII- its actually korean on japanese, the US Japanese slaves. steal, rape and kill. All they do the jap vids r norm jus defendin lAMTHEBEST: in non gook/jap view, on YouTube- lie, hate and blame themselves. Their are alot of you gooks and japs are all others. korean makin fake accs and same shit. you gooks and japs EvilJapan: OK, calm down and pretend to b jap to piss ppl off are all pancake-faced, small- let’s all get to the point... It’s already been proven that Japan BLACK and WHITE in AMERICA certainly not restricted to any is the most evil, suspicious, In another news video: a white school specific creed or culture; it is NO and notorious country in the teacher was repeatedly taunted way for any student to act in an world even if the Nanking with racial epithets by her black educational enivronment, period. Incident wasn’t true. Japan is students. The black prinicipal Guru7776: bull shit, so calling a black too shameful for admitting its refused to intervene, claiming person nigger isn’t racial hate, past countless amount of great that profanity was part of their its just how us whites act. atrocities. Japanese culture, culture. The abuse continued, bostonburn: Right on. Good for her. tradition, and suspicious so the teacher sued the school blood18age: ahhhh, i have been called behavior also proves that fact. board and won $300,000. “white trash” and i call them DOWN WITH JAPAN! “shitty nigger” if they think ProudofPRC: haha koreans are soo sirgwaine0001: teens curse yes! but they’re going to take over us then racist. its in their culture. they if a white kid were to use the we have to hit them back even discriminate against 1/ word nigger as these black siszam: I am white and grew up in a 8 Korean people in their own kids use the word cracker and black neighborhood and couldn’t race. Koreans are treated well in honkey the white kids would play outside because I would be China, USA, Japan. Americans, automatically be suspended if attacked. At school I was picked Chinese and Japanese are not expelled from school,the on constantly and the teachers treated like criminals in Korea. teachers are being told NOT TO did nothing. It’s a shame that In other words... we should act DISCIPLINE BLACK KIDS FOR the only people it’s acceptable racist against gooks USING RACIAL SLURS AGAINST to abuse in America are white FuckKoreans731: fuck koreans WHITES!!!this is discrimination people and Christians. Tereteremunnsitt: racism is ok and needs to have full immediate kokema82: I’m sorry maybe I’m attention,the black kids have to understanding your statment be disciplined for this racial hate! wrong, but I’m Christian. and rOaCh2000: racial hate? lmao.that’s if it is only acceptable to abuse just how we act. Whites and Christians are you johnc1280: you’re justifying those implying that the only Christians students’ behavior toward their are white? Read what you write teacher? Calling here a white before posting it. c*nt and other disparaging, Fusiondoom: THANKYOU! degrading and deragatory sporksandknives44: I think he meant remarks. You’re saying it’s a that out of all the religions it’s product of their culture. Well only “acceptable” to make fun of even if this were a cultural Christians. thing which it’s not, anyone is sheepmeat: Fair is fair, it is time to capable if those words, they’re begin to enforce all the laws evenly. Respect is self respect to learn spanish any more than This was an article that re- as well as respecting others. the stupid mexicans will learn ally got to me. I’m bothered by the A culture of violence needs english way we think about racism. Not just to change, regardless of race, thatphillipthing: More white people Americans, but everybody. There are religion or nationality. need to take a stand before we millions of examples and counter- airjordanthenexttobe: you know more become the minority. Martin examples of racism in every country hate crimes happen to white Luther King Jr wanted equality in the world against many differ- christian males than anyone right? Yeah right. BlacK people ent groups. Sometimes it’s insti- else is the U.S.A. when the hate are the most racists people on tutionalized, Apartheid, Jim Crow should be pointed to terriost. this planet,they just get away Laws, many of the Anti-Korean laws rjksoccer06: Black people are more with it cause they’re black and in Japan, and we cry out against racist than white people. My nobody has enough balls to say those. There are subtle notes, like mother grew up in queens and anything about it. the interview process for many was spit in her eye by a black kid housing communities that aim to as she walked out of a grocery exclude minorities (or in the case store bc she was white of many NorCal communities that MykeTyson: I know what you mean. I are being sued, exclude anyone but have seen Black guys blocking Asians) and there’s the entire Credit the back door on busses and Check process that is a way of keep- calling people “Chinaman and ing low-income families out of many Chink” when they try to get off. neighborhoods (particularly those THey hide behind their history areas with good schools). These are of slavery to get away with their subtle, but they exist. own racism. One of my heroes is a fellow rOaCh2000: they only do it because named Nicky Winmar. He was an they know they won’t do nothin. Aussie Rules player in the 1980s MactownGeorgiaBoi: yes black people and 90s and happened to be Black. are more racists. Thats why we In a game at Collingwood, a bunch had white people in slavery for of fans were yelling racial epith- 400 years. WDF no 1 race is ets at the guy. So what’s he do af- more racist than another ter the game (which St. Kilda won)? misterbriggs894: don’t worry,when He lifted his jumper and pointed to no white people “want” to teach his stomach, pointing to his skin. anymore the mexicans will do This riled the crowd and got the it[they do all the jobs americans AFL to take a serious look at racial don’t want to do] unfortunately problems. It was as powerful a state the lazy niggers won’t be willing as the power salute on the podium. And Now...Boobs, Wrestling and Stories about Drinking! That man right over there --> is Richard Morgan Fliehr. You’ve never heard of him? Maybe you’ve heard of . If you’re a wrestling fan from any point over the last 30 years, you know the name, that’s for sure. A 13-time World Champion, though you could even make a case for it be- ing more than that since he dropped the belt for a day in the Caribbean a couple of times. He’s one of the all-time greats, a legend who followed in legen- dary footsteps and probably outshone them all. And now it looks like he’s retir- ing. In wrestling, there’s no real retirement. As long as you can get a job, you keep wrestling. Flair has been doin’ good stuff in the WWE for a few years now and has had some brilliant matches with guys like , Shawn Michaels and Edge. He can take a helluva beating and come back and do his trademarks. He’s 58 or so and still goes better than a lot of the young- used much better and they just blew. Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin and his hot er guys, even if his physique isn’t what The other reason: He’s 58 freakin’ wife/valet Precious. He feuded with it used to be. years old! True, he might be the best Flair and they had a July 4th Cage And now he’s retiring. 58 year old to ever play the game, but match where Flair took advantage of The reason is three-fold. First, he’s still old enough to be a Grandfa- an injured Garvin with the Figure Four he’s starting an investment company ther (and I believe he is one!) to win. A fan jumped on the cage and with his new wife that’s supposed to be The loss of Ric Flair hurts me got beat down for it! It was an amazing a big deal He’s got the know-how and to a degree because he was one of the match and I kept going back and forth good backing. He’s also been booked guys I always loved. Even when I was between the two as to who I was root- poorly the last few months and they supposed to hate him, he was always ing for. That’s the power the man had. moved him to another show (Smack- one of my favourites. In the 1980s, I He feuded with Dusty Rhode, Down!) and that was supposed to be loved the Garvin Brothers, especially with Nikita Koloff, with my man Ron the WWF after a contract dispute. He derstand wrestling (according to Dave feuded with Hogan, naturally, and Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Randy Savage, and Roddy Newsletter). They were gonna have him Piper as well as Mr. Perfect. When it go on a losing streak. This wouldn’t was time for Flair to leave, he lost a be too different from how he had been great match to Mr. Perfect on one of booked, but they would have had him the earliest episodes of RAW and that snap and do an interview swearing to is one of my favourite Flair memories. retire if he lost another match. Then He went back to WCW and was back he’d go on a long win streak and then, on top. He had a feud with Vader in at WrestleMania, he’d come to the end 1993 that was brutal and gave us of the road. one of the best matches of the year at It’s a great story, one that Steve . When WCW changed and Austin supposedly came up with, and brought in old WWF guys and started it would let a legend go out like a leg- the NwO, he was still there and still end. Sadly, it looks like it’s not gonna haveing great matches. After about happen. 1995 though, he never looked like the So, goodbye, Ric Flair. En- same Ric Flair. He was still having joy your years off. I’m sure you’ll be good matches, but he was no longer around a good long time and be able the Golden God he’d been before. to berate the youngsters for having no There is so much of what I say idea what wrestling really means. in everyday use that I stole from Ric I’ll miss ya. Flair. ‘To be the man, you’ve Garvin, Terry Funk and with so many got to beat the man!’ is one. others, it’d be too hard to list them. He ‘I’m Space Mountain! I may launched several careers. was an be the oldest ride in the park, up-and-comer and after he went to a but I’ve still got the longest 45-minute draw with Flair, he was mae line!’. ‘I’m the dirtiest player forever. There was , a in the game’ and of course, guy who went an hour with Flair and it WHOOOOOO!!!” made him into a star. Kerry Von Erich, THey had a great and beat him for the idea for how he would end title in the moments that both are best his career, but it never got remembered for. The 1980s were his launched because one of decade, without question. the writers, a dude named The 1990s were pretty good to Brian Gerwitz, doesn’t like him too. He left the NWA and entered Flair and really doesn’t un- Letter-Graded Mail sent to [email protected] by my Gentle Readers

Let’s Begin with John ‘for DUFF’ Purcell! I’m gonna pass on making comments on your Cocktail Issue mainly because I have way too many innuendo-filled puns running through my head. Loccing your 140th issue is much safer, I believe. Okay. I lied. I guess I really do have a couple comments to make about cocktails in general - the drinking kind, that is - since this ish starts off with more alcoholic-related nattering. This topic is kind of like an over-flowing cup: it just never seems to want to end. Well, for that matter, that’s what your fanzine is like anyway, so what exactly is the difference? At any rate, I am not one for mixed drinks or hard alcohol. My dad used to mix up a small pitcher of either martinis or Manhattans when he got home from work. I tried one once in the hotel bar at MidAmeriCon - a vodka martini, that for that. usually happens after three or four is - and didn’t care for it at all. Other Liar! I knew you couldn’t resist SotBs. kinds of mixed drinks never really commenting on booze. My Dad I say, old chap, that James appealed to me that much, although if drank beer, whcih I never acquired Bacon has his name cropping up I do try a cocktail of any kind, it would a taste for (other than Guinness and in fanzines all over the place. His be something like a Margarita. To be Boddington’s, neither of which I recounting of Comic Con in San perfectly frank, I would much prefer drink that often) Sex on the beach Diego was really enjoyable. He has having sex on the beach to drinking a the activity is far less interesting written elsewhere about his love for Sex on the Beach. Unless the latter led than the drink. Sand does bad comics, and that he got into sf fandom to the former, in which case I could go things...far worse than what thanks to comics (I think one of these articles was in John Coxon’s debut without me, guys…take me with you! issue of Procrastination). I must say, I am afraid that the Denver Worldcon he certainly has a knack for getting will have to do without me, but I photoed with cute girls. Not only that, do have some news…after much he got some sketches from Howard deliberation and soul-searching, Chaykin! That’s a pretty good deal. Yvonne and I decided that we will not Comics really aren’t my cup of tea - only attend the Montréal Worldcon, never really have been, even though I but we will also work it. We have do have a small batch of them in my volunteered to the committee what lock box at home, including a couple we would like to do, and we may get Dr. Strange issues from the late 1960s some confirmation soon…we will - but I do appreciate their influence also be going to Con*cept, Montréal’s on fans and writers, plus their huge annual SF convention, and there will impact on the mega-budget action be a big meeting to launch this newest flicks that the public gobbles up. Yeah, Worldcon. We eventually realized that this was a long and very enjoyable if we didn’t go, and didn’t help out, report, and that photo on page 16 we’d probably regret it later. So, no reveals that we are a bit behind on our regrets, and I hope we can do the kind reading. Funny thing: a small section of job we wanted to do for Torcon 3. of his report sounded vaguely like Of the Worldcons written about here, “Club Egg,” the article he wrote for the the only one I was able to attend was third issue of Askance. It really made the 1990 Worldcon, ConFiction, in the me stop for a moment and shake my Hague, the only non-North American head. A bit of deja vu there. Worldcon I’ve been to. Great time, The latest Procrastinations is great enjoyed the Haagsemarkt downtown, stuff too. I love Chaykin and have And Now...Lloyd Penney! and a quick trip to one of the pottery been trying to get him as a GoH for shops in Delft. I told my ex-girlfriend some con for years! I gotta learn Dear Chris: about the Dutch Worldcon, Joanne that photoed with babes trick. Two issues have I now, loc them being Dutch, and I had the dubious But a wonderful zine, Chris, as I shall! 141 and 142 issues they are! honour of introducing her to Yvonne is PrintZine 2 in its second incarnation. Type like Yoda talks I do! Why, I know in the middle of the Congresgebouw. What can I say? You’re a spitfire, not… We had a few perqs to enjoy with the young ‘un! Strong the Fannish Force is with convention because we had acted as All the best, this one... Canadian agents for them, and Holland John Purcell 141…Great art, especially the does have a soft spot for Canadians Thanks much, John! I’ll keep going astronaut and his cat. He’s thumbing after all. as long as I’m concious! a ride to Earth, and we’d all want to That’s super-duper! I should offer thumb a ride spaceward. Don’t leave my services to the folks. Not a when there are rules in the time of The drought is over. I shall keep my particularly enviable position of apparent anarchy is an important evening job at the Globe and Mail until introducing an ex to the current. I’ll one. There are a lot of strange the three-month mark, which happens have to do that at some point in the stories about Burning Man and to be Christmas Eve, December near... people who take their ‘art’ too 24. What a great present to get for Yeah, you could have won one far. There’s even a documentary Christmas, a firm job. I’ll probably of those Ultraman Hugos, but seeing about it that’s never been released have to train someone to take over how much Arnie Katz hates that Hugo because Burning Man won’t approve the G&M job, so as of 2008, a 9-to-5 design (see VFW 100, section D, I of it. workin’ guy I’ll be, and halleluiah for think), you might not have heard the Togas parties are great fun, but that. end of it. That Langford guy’s invasion we really shouldn’t have them at cons. Congrats, old boy! There’s nothing fleet of silvery rockets just got one ship The hotel linen department gets real like becoming a part of the class of bigger. nervous, and then the atmosphere Full-Time Schlubs! How could anyone not love sours a little…at least they’re better Off it goes, and away I go…zzzzz. Ultraman? I mean that’s just weird! than skinny-dippin’ parties in the See you next time. I thought it was the best Hugo hotel pool… Honestly, if some of the Yours, Lloyd Penney. statue ever! fans I know ever jumped naked in a And we thank you! 142…That is a heckuva Communist swimming pool, tsunami warnings Party! I wonder what year they’re would go up everywhere, and thinking bidding for… of some people I know naked is I think they’re bidding for Moscow bringing nightmares and the promise (spelt Mockba) in 2017. Sadly, it of years of therapy… also looks like Trotsky wasn’t I love Toga Parties. I’ve only been to invited. Maybe he had a bit of a a couple (they seem to have fallen headache. out of fashion) but they’re always Art is in the eye and mind of fun. It was a blast shopping with the beholder, but yet, one man’s art is the Lovely and Talented Linda too! another man’s offence. It is getting to And now, to go from the the point where the line is blurred, the ridiculous to the good news, and then only difference may be whether there I fire this off to you at blazing speed. are police nearby to act or not act. All As of September 24, I have a full-time is anarchy, and who knows what the job! The position is Editor, Electronic reaction will be to anything you might Publications with the Canadian do. There are rules to follow, even at National Institute for the Blind. The something as anarchical as Burning job looks like it is something I can do, Man… the CNIB is a great place to work, says Rules are the key. Understanding so many people, and the pay is great. Today is a proud day, as I am now Wolfson staff couldn’t be bothered to announcing a regular columnist! complete for a mere weekend convention That’s right, Steve Green has agreed with a two-figure turn-out – led to last to bring back a column he used to do summer’s shindig relocating to the for Apparatchik and we’re gettin’ to somewhat less salubrious East Oxford run it in The Drink Tank! You can Community Centre. find his old articles at The event has also shed its traditional http://efanzines.com/Apparatchik/ line-up of guests, although Al Davison index.html (up through issue 71) – author of the groundbreaking graphic memoir The Spiral Cage – is making Fannish Memory Syndrome one of his regular appearances to run a couple of creativity workshops based by Steve Green around the “Dreams & Nightmares” Artwork by Rob Leifeld theme. During the even-more-sparcely- programmed-than-usual Sunday To Oxford, where the city of dreaming lunchtime, we chat about the multifold spires is playing host to Caption, the crimes against anatomy and perspective UK’s annual gathering of small-press perpetrated by the likes of Rob Liefeld, comic writers and artists. Ann acts as a hack so dramatically untalented I’m navigator, then heads off by taxi into the astounded he’s allowed to draw breath, city centre to check out the Pitt Rivers let alone such icons as Captain America. Museum and reacquaint herself with a Al confesses to hunting down Leifeld’s few Tolkien-related landmarks (not least more blatant artistic atrocities, not for the Eagle and Child, former watering any intrinsic value but as examples for hole of the Inklings and popularly this state of affairs would be unlikely to his students of what not to do. known as “the Bird and Baby”). last any longer than the recent demise It’s the kind of exchange which would As is often the case, the first Caption of a certain Kryptonian superhero. once have been paralled between the – back in 1992 - was thrown together Whilst never inclined towards heavy pages of British comics fanzines, a sub- on a whim by a bunch of friends, who programming, 2007’s “Caption: Dreams culture I first encounted in the mid- never anticipated the monster they had & Nightmares” seems even more laid- 1970s but which had already begun created: each year since, Caption has back than usual, a vibe underlined by to stumble towards relative extinction teetered on the brink of oblivion, only the choice of venue: after spending most long before the emergence of the e-zine. to be dragged back by the cummulative of its life at the stately Oxford Students’ It’s great to see so many creators taking mass of goodwill generated over the Union bar and grounds before a brief control of the medium – the tables in past decade-and-a-half. The 1998 spell at the sprawling Wolfson College, Caption’s bookroom positively heave committee even wryly acknowledged the introduction of idiotic levels of with new material – but damn it, I miss this by dubbing its instalment “Death bureaucracy for any site needing a those conversations in print. of Caption”, in the full knowledge that temporary bar licence – paperwork the