See Page 17 See Page 6

Serving Nassau County, Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Bronx, and Staten Island JULY 26, 2013 פרשת עקב See Pages 3-5 $1.00 WWW.5TJT.COM VOL. 13 NO. 43 19 AV 5773 Elects New Chief Rabbis FROM THE EDITOR

BY LARRY GORDON Big Decisions, See Page 8 Little Info The U.S. Congress is a very busy place. In fact, it is diz- zyingly busy. There are long lines of people each morning marching through the metal detectors and past the security personnel at the front door See Page 15 screening those who want to Rabbi (above), son of Rabbi , was elected Ashkenazi , and Rabbi Yitzchak Yosef, son of Rabbi , was chosen the new Rishon Letziyon. See Page 20 Continued on Page 8 In The HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE With Dov Lipman BY LARRY GORDON See Page 16 Mishandling The News Editor’s Note: This week, YH: We have watched your Rabbi Yair Hoffman is on speeches to the new olim yes- Despite the criticism, I can- There is great talent and assignment in the Knesset, terday at the Nefesh B’Nefesh not bring myself to jump on journalistic acumen at both where he met and spoke ceremony, and there is no ques- the bandwagon or pile on newspapers, but their dispo- with a number of the Knes- tion that you have the ability while adding nothing con- sition to run odd or aberrant set members and their staffs. to infuse an appreciation for structive to stories like those stories about frum Jews, and In the weeks ahead, the Five and Yiddishkeit in the in The Jewish Week, the For- less frequently about Jews in Towns Jewish Times will be audiences that you address. ward, and numerous blogs general, is repugnant. So why See Pages 35 & 41 featuring several of these Where else do you see that this that serve one objective, and do they indulge in that type interviews. We begin with agenda will be pursued? that is to vilify and denigrate of journalism? And why do MK Dov Lipman. Orthodox Jews and our way of Continued on Page 18 life. Continued on Page 14 PASSING THE TORCH OPINIONS VS. DEBUNKING THE FACTS AGE-GAP THEORY BY SAM SOKOL BY CHANANYA MIDEAST CORRESPONDENT WEISSMAN

Facts don’t have a political, I have written extensively in religious, or social orientation. years past about the absurd yet They just are. They exist, and popular notion that the prob- by existing they do not have lem in the shidduch world is any innate moral status. Facts demographic in nature. Many can support or demolish ideol- people have been brought to ogies, faiths, and weltanschau- believe that there is simply a of South Shore hosted a “Burn the Mortgage” event, simultaneously celebrating the 90th birthday of Rabbi Binyamin Kamenetzky, Tuesday night ungs, yes, but they do not pos- shortage of eligible men and in Manhattan. Above, Yaakov Lewis, Meir Krengel, and Rabbis Binyamin and Mordechai Kamenetzky. Continued on Page 13 Continued on Page 11

July 26 – 7:57 PM August 2 – 7:50 PM See Luach, Page 10

Features Index, See Page 9 2 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 3 4 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 5 6 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 7 FROM THE EDITOR in the Rayburn House Offi ce Building Continued from Front Cover in the shadow of the Capitol. The mem- bers of the delegation, which included meet or speak to the representatives or Gershon Mesika, the governor of the senators about one matter or another. Shomron; Yossi Dagan, his deputy gov- P.O. BOX 690 • LAWRENCE, NY 11559 I chose to spend a few days this week ernor; and David Ha’ivri, an aide and [email protected] ads@5T JT.com in DC to lobby Congress, along with a spokesman, brought some new issues 516-569-0502 half dozen men who reside in the hills to light for me. LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON of the Shomron in Israel and who work The fi rst meeting was with Congress- Publisher/Editor Managing Editor with the Shomron Regional Council. man Pete Sessions, Republican of Texas, YOSSY GORDON • YOCHANAN GORDON • DOVI GORDON And the timing of this event was aus- and following that encounter we met Sales Managers picious, as Secretary of State Kerry was with Congresswoman Michele Bach- once again trying to piece together the mann, a former candidate for president CHANA ROCHEL ROSS Assistant Editor details of an agreement to Israelis and a Republican representative from and Arabs to sit at a table and negotiate, Minnesota. SIDI BARON • DAVID FOX • YAAKOV SERLE after a three-year hiatus. And here’s the news that was brought Sales Representatives Why this is so important to Mr. Kerry home to me as I sat in on these meet- SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC and President Obama is not really a ings. Big decisions are made routinely Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor great mystery. It is essentially about a in Washington on very skimpy amounts CONTRIBUTING EDITORS miserably failed and failing presidency of information. And guess what—it is L–R: Gershon Mesika, Congressman Hannah Reich Berman • Anessa V. Cohen that is tapping around to fi nd a positive not the fault of the decision-makers, Pete Sessions, and Yossi Dagan studying Rabbi Yitzchok D. Frankel • Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg a map of the Shomron Yoni Glatt • Rabbi Yossy Goldman • Toby Klein Greenwald achievement somewhere, anywhere in because they are overwhelmed with Rabbi Yair Hoff man • Ron Jager • Doni Joszef the world, and Israel is a traditional and issues that need to be decided upon, big news either, but the president does Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky • Dr. Bernie Kastner comfortable target. sometimes under the most trying of cir- not have a great grasp of many of the Shmuel Katz • Rabbi Mordechai Kruger • Phyllis J. Lubin In two and a half days, we met a lot cumstances. Mr. Sessions and Ms. Bach- important issue of the day either. Esther Mann •Rochelle M. Miller • Rabbi Meir Orlian of people and attended some extraor- man are smart and accomplished indi- As you recall, a few years ago when it Elke Probkevitz • Dr. Rachael Schindler dinarily fascinating meetings. The two viduals, but we cannot expect them to came to the content of the 2,400-page Mordechai Schmutter • Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow Baila Sebrow • David J. Seidemann • Rabbi Avi Shafran sessions that I want to shed some light grasp every aspect of every issue in its Samuel Sokol • Rabbi Gershon Tannenbaum • Chanita Teitz on here took place on Tuesday morning entirety. Perhaps this is not a surprise or Continued on Page 9 ELISHEVA ELEFANT IVAN NORMAN Graphic Artist IRA THOMAS Photographers Design by DESIGN2PRO.COM Design & Production MICHAEL KUROV – Art Director 5TJT.com site by DAVID HAIRONSON of NDH Web Design © 2013 by the Five Towns Jewish Times The Five T owns Jewish Times is an independen t weekly newspaper. Opinions expressed by other writers in these pages are not necessarily those of the publisher. The 5TJT is not r esponsible for the kashrus of an y advertised or featured product or establishment. All submissions bec ome the pr operty of the 5TJT and may be edit ed for publica tion. Pictures may be modifi ed (such as by cropping or fi lling) at our discretion to conform to standards of modesty in dress. READ THIS WEEK’S ISSUE ONLINE AT 5TJT.COM!

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8 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES FROM THE EDITOR resents over 80 Jewish communities in Pete Sessions listens and is genuinely FEATURES Continued from Page 8 Judea and Samaria as well as in east- interested and fascinated by these men Chronicle ern , in which over 700,000 from Shomron, who they are, their cour- Shmuel Katz 49 Obamacare bill presented to Congress, people reside, that the Arab world and age, and what they have accomplished. the U.S. State Department, along with He listens as they explain that the Euro- All in the Angle then Democratic Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi, of California, said, “We have to the and the European pean Union has announced that it will R’ Avi Shafran 48 pass the bill so that you can fi nd out Union (and along with the recently be the offi cial policy of the 28-country Anxiety Buster what is in it.” Today that seems to be deceased journalist Helen Thomas) all union to no longer fund, invest in, or Dr. David H. Rosmarin 64 the clarion call in Washington, and that say that the Jews have to vacate. do any business with those in Judea and Book Review is true even about the life-and-death So what do they want from Con- Samaria or eastern Jerusalem. Rochelle Miller 55 and war-and-peace matters that so inti- gressman Sessions and from Ms. Bach- Representative Sessions looks lost as Business Halacha mately affect Israel and all Jews residing mann and the two dozen legislators he interjects that he knows what they R’ Meir Orlian 44 in the Jewish State. they would meet with through their want and need but that he needs infor- Classified Ads 72 So, Pete Sessions is a smooth and week here in the halls of power? They mation and details because he is just glib man who obviously enjoys being want these leaders, these molders and not well versed on these matters. “You A Clever Title Goes Here engaged in meeting with a cross section shapers of opinion for millions back have to send me information so I know Mordechai Schmutter 34 of people. He is a Republican leader and home in their districts in Middle Amer- what I’m talking about,” he says. He Community News an important friend of Israel in Con- ica, to know that they are normal, every- explains that he does not operate inde- Around The Five Towns 59 gress. The delegation from the Shomron day people with wives and children, pendently; he is a representative of a Around The World 62 was trying to make the following point: they are farmers and businessmen who district back in Texas—including the Daf Yomi Insights we are the people whose land the U.S. want to live on the land of the Jew- vibrant Jewish community in Dallas— R’ Avrohom Sebrow 32 and the Europeans are calling “occupied ish people, the biblical land of Israel, with a population of about 800,000. “I Dating Forum territory” that should be given to the in peace. They don’t want to be toyed would need to consult with my peo- Baila Sebrow 46 Palestinians as part of their new coun- with like a yo-yo or be treated as a sta- ple in Dallas and I would like to make Deficit of Attention try if the two-state madness ever comes tistic that can be played with as plans a conference call with them and you Doni Joszef, LMSW 25 to reality. are made to extricate them from their on the phone this week if possible,” Mr. The gentlemen from the Shomron homes and land in the interest of a for- Sessions said. The Dish eloquently explain to Congressman eign-policy feather in the cap of an aim- Elke Probkevitz 41 Sessions that they are a group that rep- lessly wandering secretary of state. Continued on Page 10 Halachic Musings R’ Yair Hoffman 50, 80 Insights on the Torah Five Towns Marriage Initiative 47 R’ Yossy Goldman 33 The Job Hunter R’ Mordechai Kruger 28 Letters to the Editor 70 Luach/Calendar 10 Machberes R’ Gershon Tannenbaum 54 Middle East News JNS.org 78 MindBiz Esther Mann, LCSW 30 News from the Hills Chanita Teitz 52 Photo Prose Gary Rabenko 27 Puzzle Yoni Glatt 36 Real Estate Anessa V. Cohen 38 That’s The Way It Is! Hannah Reich Berman 29 Tidbits from Israel Ron Jager 26 Travel Section 62

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 9 FROM THE EDITOR unlikely to ever happen. However, some of the representatives dumb- Continued from Page 9 maintaining those plans on the politi- struck, and they ask for more informa- CALENDAR cal drawing board allows the residents tion like a thirsty man asking for a bot- So what do these men from the Shom- of those areas to be vilifi ed regularly by tle of water. ron want? They want to introduce to the international community. And the “I’ve been to Israel at least fi ve times,” LUACH those in power the idea that Judea and aim of this group is to stop that and, if says Congresswoman Bachmann, a Samaria are not some fl imsy little out- possible, to turn that negative momen- great friend of Israel. “But,” she adds, posts high on a mountain or obscured tum into something positive. “AIPAC does not want me to or allow JulyJuly 26–August 1–July 39 deep in the woods somewhere. They The delegation invited Representa- me to visit areas in Judea and Samaria.” ZIP Code: 11516 want acceptance and legitimacy, and as tives Sessions and Bachmann to visit In fact, she adds, AIPAC insists that of today the powers that be here in the the Shomron on their next trip to when she is in Israel, she visit Pales- 19 Av – Erev Shabbos U.S. as well as, to an extent, in Israel are Israel. They both agreed to do so and tinian leaders in Ramallah rather than Friday, July 26 denying them that right. were very surprised to hear that life in Jews building lives and communities Daf yomi: Pesachim 36 Congressman Sessions then stated the Shomron for both Jews and Arabs is in the Shomron. She said that the last Z’manim*: straight away, “I’ve decided a long time exactly what any kind of peace in the time she was in a meeting in Ramal- Earliest tallis/tefillin: 4:43 am ago that I take my direction on Israel area should look like at the conclusion lah staring at a large framed portrait of Sunrise: 5:47 am policy from the Israeli government.” of the negotiation process (that is, of Yasser Arafat, she promised herself that Latest Shema: And that makes sense, because how or course, if it ever gets started). she was not going to subject herself to M. Av. 8:47 am Gr’a 9:23 am why should a congressman from Texas Today there is an industrial zone in that again. P’lag ha’minchah: 6:45 pm disagree with a policy of the duly and the Shomron with over 80 factories that She promised Gershon Mesika that Candle Lighting 7:57 pm democratically elected government of employ over 6,500 men and women. on her next visit to Israel she would 20 Av – Shabbos the State of Israel? The only issue is that Half are Arabs and half are Jews. They come to the Shomron. She said that she Saturday, July 27 for their own politically expedient pur- have worked together side by side suc- was very much looking forward to it. Parashas Eikev poses today, the position of the Israeli cessfully and without incident for many The Shomron folks made great Avos: Ch. 5 government calls for a two-state solu- years already. They are all paid on an inroads and friends in DC, but there is Shabbos ends**: tion, with the new Arab state plopped Israeli standard, which means that the a lot more to do.  9:07 pm down in the Shomron. Arab workers are earning 300% more 72 min. 9:32 pm Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at At this stage of the game all involved than they would be if they had jobs in 26 Av – Erev Shabbos [email protected]. quietly understand that this is extremely their own towns. This message leaves Friday, August 2 Daf yomi: Pesachim 43 Earliest tallis/tefillin: 4:52 am Sunrise: 5:53 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:50 am Gr’a 9:26 am P’lag ha’minchah: 6:39 pm Candle Lighting 7:50 pm 27 Av – Shabbos Saturday, August 3 Parashas Re’eih Blessing of Chodesh Elul Avos: Ch. 6 Shabbos ends**: 8:59 pm 72 min. 9:25 pm Look for the next issue of the 5TJT on newsstands Thursday, August 1

10 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES AGE GAP as I will once again demonstrate. This 2.1 years, in comparison to fi ve years in is always someone else. The age-gap the- Continued from Front Cover is something our eyes and ears tell us— other religions.” ory draws attention away from the real contrary to the wild claims of age-gap In other words, not only is there no problems (the community itself and its that this problem can somehow be theorists, we simply do not see many widespread phenomenon of men mar- corrupt ways), and therefore it is read- resolved by conniving to marry these married couples with a huge difference rying women signifi cantly younger, in ily accepted. men off to the oldest eligible women. in age between them, nor do we see the Jewish world there is a far lesser EndTheMadness pulls no punches. How this would cause men to mul- seminary girls going out with 40-year- incidence of this than elsewhere. We give the straight truth about what tiply has never been explained. If you old men. It’s just not reality. To summarize: is wrong and real solutions for how to have an island with 50 women and 40 Thankfully, we don’t need to rely on 1. The age-gap theory is based on fi x it. There is no gentle way to tell peo- men, and the men marry the 40 oldest anecdotal evidence, powerful though premises that are proven false by actual ple their values and behaviors are way women, there will still be 10 women it is. Every year, in honor of Tu B’Av, marriage statistics. off. But until more people accept that without a male counterpart. Even if the Jerusalem Institute for Israel Stud- 2. The age-gap theorists insist there is we have no one to blame for our prob- every so often 10 more men and 10 ies (www.jiis.org) puts out hard statis- a problem that does not exist. lems but ourselves, things will only con- more women join the island, you will tics on marriage in Israel. These statis- 3. The age-gap theorists insist on a tinue to get worse. never catch up. Proponents of this idea The age-gap theory is garbage. Throw are simply “borrowing” from the pool it in the trash where it belongs, stop giv- of available men with plans to “pay This is a Ponzi scheme. ing it credibility, and get to work on the back” with a hoped-for future supply real issues. It won’t be easy or fun like of men. In other words, this is a Ponzi playing with demographics, but it is the scheme. How have those been working How have those been working out? only way. Let’s not waste another day.  out? How manipulating shadchanim and Rabbi Chananya Weissman is the founder of even offering fi nancial “incentives” to tics demonstrate in no uncertain terms solution to the problem that is merely a EndTheMadness (www.endthemadness.org). marry men off to older women is eth- that every premise of the age-gap theory Ponzi scheme, which is foolish and can- ically sound or halachically permissi- is false, and that proponents of this the- not succeed. ble has also yet to be explained. A shad- ory are disconnected from reality. 4. The age-gap theorists promote chan’s responsibility is to suggest the As reported in , immoral and halachically indefensi- WHAT’S most suitable match to her clients, irre- the percentage of single men age 20+ ble behavior from shadchanim to push spective of presumed demographic in Jerusalem for the year 2010 was 27%, matches based on trivial consider- issues in the community. That is not versus 20% for women. For the age ations, which will only perpetuate and and should not be her concern. If two range of 30–34, 24% of men were single, exacerbate existing problems. YOUR people are best suited for one another versus 20% for women. In other words, So why in the world do so many peo- but are more than a few years apart, it is if there is any crisis at all in terms of ple gobble up this theory like some the shadchan’s moral responsibility to demographics, people should be wring- G-d-given truth? I believe it is because introduce them over other candidates ing their hands over the plight of single the fabrication of a demographic prob- OPINION? who are closer in age. To intentionally men. Based on the numbers, women are lem is far more comfortable for people deny clients the most suitable available having an easier time. than the call to look in the mirror and match is morally corrupt. Furthermore, and this is a direct change one’s values. Our community is E-MAIL US AT But the best part is that the very prem- quote from the Jerusalem Post article always looking for a scapegoat: televi- ises of this age-gap theory have been on July 19: “The average age difference sion, the Internet, secular values, those [email protected] proven over and over again to be false, between a Jewish bride and groom was “other” Jews. The problem is never us, it

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 11 12 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES OPINIONS It’s ironic; speaking to different Continued from Front Cover people, I have been told that I am too left-wing, too right-wing, too secular, sess independent ideological affi liation and too pro-religion. And in each case, in and of themselves. I have been told to be more objective. Obvious . . . no? If this is the feedback I am getting, Not really. Whenever I report on a I can proudly say that I have been story, I seek, to the best of my abil- objective. ity, to impart facts. There is an event I am going to write a terrible segue going on, people have differing takes . . . watch for it . . . Here it comes: on it, and I report what happened Sometimes I envy humor writers like and how people reacted. Sometimes Dave Barry. He’s one of my heroes—a I investigate. People hide facts and I Pulitzer Prize winner whose entire try to ferret them out. However, very oeuvre is built upon being as subjec- often when I do this people complain tive as possible. I would like to write that I have taken sides. subjectively sometimes. Not in my serious news articles, but maybe the occasional humor piece. Maybe I could write something about Bet Shemesh. I live in a weird community. Out- side my house are stickers on every fl agpole calling on chareidi soldiers to leave town. The other day I walked down the street to the bus stop only to see a chassid and his burka-clad wife waiting for the bus. I took a pic- ture of her. She turned away. I won- dered why. If you wear something as attention-grabbing as a full-on burka in Bet Shemesh, people will look at you. You aren’t being modest. The other day I was on the bus (so-called mehadrin). I was in the front. A woman came up to me and said she wanted to sit. I told her to A chassidic man and his burka-clad wife in Ramat Bet Shemesh. While not typical feel free. She said I didn’t understand. by any means, such dress is no longer as It is not modest for her to sit next to shocking and novel as it once was. me. I would have to move. “Ma’am,” I replied, “if you want to In the course of my work, I have sit next to me feel free. If you believe been threatened with lawsuits and in separate seating, then I believe that with worse. I have upset multi- the local extremists have decreed that ple sides on issues on which I have the back of the bus is the place for reported and learned one valuable women.” lesson: the more people you upset, She didn’t get the joke. the closer you may be to the truth. A few weeks later, a chassid pushed People frequently like the facts that a friend of mine out of his seat next fi t their agenda, and when you throw to me as he was sitting down. Asked a monkey wrench into their beliefs why, he replied that the only other by reporting facts that disagree with seat was behind a woman and that their way of looking at the world or halachically it would be forbidden for quote people with whom they dis- him to sit there. He didn’t see a prob- agree, they complain that you have lem with my friend sitting behind her. lost your objectivity. There are a lot of normal, hard- That simply isn’t true. There seems working Modern Orthodox and cha- to be, in some circles, a misconcep- reidi people in my town. But they are tion about what a journalist is. We always drowned out in the public’s report facts. We report what is hap- perceptions of Bet Shemesh by the pening. We do not, if we are profes- extremists. sional in our conduct, promote view- I’m sure that there is humor in points. there somewhere, but it’s hard to fi nd. I have personally reported stories Maybe I will write a Dave Bar- where I disagreed fundamentally ry-style column. But fi rst I have to with what was being done but have fi nd a burka and go undercover . . .  not inserted my views. I like to think that from my newswriting you cannot tell my ideology. My favorite stories are the ones Remember where those on both sides of the issue complain about my objectivity. It means that I reported facts that nei- that article? ther side liked, and I can look back at the article in question and reminisce fondly about my objectivity. “See,” I Visit our archive section tell myself, “each side thought I was for the other and in reality I was for and find any issue of the neither.” My objectivity was recently called 5 Towns Jewish Times into question in a letter to one of the papers for which I write. I laughed it online @ off but subsequently realized that it points to the aforementioned miscon- www.5TJT.com ceptions about what I do. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 13 BAGEL STORE sumers are not aware of or comfortable clear—no one can condone that type of ter last week in a sensitive manner that Continued from Front Cover with, and in this case the press takes lib- behavior or be tolerant of those actions, portrays his disturbance at having his erties and exploits those facts. even if they occurred almost a half cen- alma mater connected to such scurri- people read that stuff? They do so for An additional obscured fact is that the tury ago. But there are two matters at lous charges. He rightfully calls for the the worst reason—essentially because plant’s last issue with bugs took place play here. One is the actual harm done school to settle the claims with former they’ve always read them and for some more than two years ago, and since to people who were unfortunately vic- students who have commenced legal reason are drawn to stories like that. then the plant has passed every inspec- timized by a few; then there is the mat- action against it. This would of course To be more specifi c, the latest edition tion. This is not highlighted because it ter of the sensationalism associated be the quickest way to put these mat- of The Jewish Week has as its lead arti- does not assist the otherwise craven with the accusations. ters behind us. The entire discussion cle a story that surfaced last week about tabloid objective of the paper. Some of the Jewish media mentioned does persistent harm to the overall a New York bakery with national dis- So The Jewish Week’s objective here above have focused more on the sen- community, and the quicker it is dealt tribution that has had Health Depart- is not about healthy eating but rather sationalism than any other aspect. with, the faster we can acknowledge ment problems with signs of mice and about toying with the good reputation Granted, from a 2013 perspective the that we have learned important lessons roaches and so on. Certainly not very of well-meaning and successful peo- entire episode was terribly mishan- and then move on. tantalizing or appetite-inducing news, ple in the community and deconstruct- dled. The unfortunate reality is that One of the additional issues here is but The Jewish Week seems to want the the press’s insistence on keeping the reader to think that the bakery produc- story buoyant, as it plays effectively to tion plant has been taken over by the the prurient interests of readers. The vermin to the point where they are Just as in one’s personal life, problem here as it particularly affects about to declare a coup d’état. Orthodox institutions is that the objec- And this is the problem with the cov- tive is to demonstrate a pattern of erage. The objective is to create the it is not always necessary hypocrisy that teaches one standard impression that the tiny proportion of while practicing at a much lower level. Health Department infractions is in fact to articulate every thought that That is the impression some of the a pervasive problem and that the bak- press tries to create—that all, or at ery owners, who are chassidic Orthodox crosses your mind. least most, Orthodox Jews are some- Jews, don’t give a darn as long as they what hypocritical, and that the general are making signifi cant sums of money. claim of adhering to a higher authority This is patently false. I know people in on numerous lifestyle choices is bogus. the baking business and have spoken ing that reputation to scandalous pro- you could not have the benefi t of that These are both unbalanced and unfair with several this week. Baking on a large portions if at all possible. Conventional 2013 perspective in 1975. Those of us assertions. The facts bear out that these scale with large supplies of fl our and wisdom here says that these types of who were of age back then will have episodes of aberrant and even illegal other ingredients in a warehouse set- man-bites-dog stories sell newspapers. to refl ect upon what it was like and behavior are extremely uncommon. It ting presents management with a con- Well, it certainly does pique the interest how strange and unusual it was to even misleads readers—Jews and non-Jews— stant battle to fend off the infi ltration of people who possess a proclivity for think about the possibility of any type into forming impressions about Ortho- of bugs that are naturally drawn to that gossip, but more than anything else it of abusive behavior being directed at dox Jews that are not accurate or any- type of environment. The best illustra- distorts reality and just as quickly turns students by staff, especially staff who thing resembling reality. tion of this fact is that despite the strug- people off. were respected rabbinical fi gures in the One thing is certain, and that is that gle, the Health Department in New York Then there is the matter of the prob- school. people are human and subject to cra- never saw fi t to close down the plant at lems plaguing Yeshiva University from To his credit, Jewish Week editor any point. It is a reality that we as con- as much as four decades ago. Let’s be Gary Rosenblatt wrote about the mat- Continued on Page 17

14 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 15 16 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES BAGEL STORE the readers. In New York, the Post and Continued from Page 14 the Daily News consistently work in a similar fashion. ven and even damaging weaknesses. A quick glance at last week’s Forward The intent here is to focus on press cov- front page yields stories, along with the erage within our community on these one about the sexual-abuse lawsuit, matters, but some comment needs to be about the inroads of transgender rab- added about the conduct of attorneys bis in the U.S.; how a Jewish woman here as well. Somewhere down the line in Philadelphia is leading the struggle there just may be a multimillion-dol- against recognizing same-sex marriage lar payday that in some cases attorneys in her state; about the continued inter- have been looking for or waiting for nal matter of the theft of $57 million throughout their entire careers. over a decade at the Claims Conference; Once again it becomes a matter of and so on. personal interest taking precedence I am not suggesting hiding or cover- over communal good. There is little ing up stories, but rather that within question that these are often diffi cult the domain of a free press is the right choices to make. Yes, the people have a as well as a need to govern oneself so right to know, and those who have been as not to infl ame needlessly and cause harmed have a right to seek justice. But more problems than get solved. The like so many other things in life, there general press can learn some important is a thin, even microscopic, line that lessons from this approach as well. Just distinguishes between the two. Often as in one’s personal life, it is not always there are other ways one can pursue necessary to articulate every thought when dealing with a matter. that crosses your mind. Those who Particularly in the case of The Forward, don’t engage in such self-control very which offers some very thought-provok- often fi nd themselves trying to undo ing reading along with a frequently far- greater damage than they started with left editorial position, it seems that the before their words fl ew out of them.  goal of the stories that are selected— especially for the front page—is to titil- Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at late, shock, and where possible disturb [email protected]. Remember that article? Visit our archive section and find any issue of the 5 Towns Jewish Times online @ www.5TJT.com

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 17 DOV LIPMAN YH: What might have looked to make sure that this is all legitimate. Continued from Front Cover like without Dov Lipman? These are companies that will specifi - DL: I think that there might be two dif- cally be looking for chareidim to hire. DL: First of all, I don’t want to under- ferences. The fi rst is that it would have Now I am not saying that the vision that emphasize the point you made. I wake been more diffi cult for the MKs to com- we have for things will be resolved over- up every day asking how I can be pletely understand the chareidi side. The night. But we are trying to address the mekadesh shem Shamayim. That is a second is the response that they would major hurdles of poverty in the chareidi big part of what I do. I think that as a have had to some of the chareidi MK’s community. government we should be doing this as responses. When they see some of the YH: What guides you in regard to mak- well, as an entity to be mekadesh shem antics of the chareidi MKs, such as hand- ing your decision when you look at an Shamayim. That is an ultimate goal of cuffi ng themselves to the podium and issue? mine, to introduce to the nations the other outbursts, which constitute, in DL: I have all my life tried to follow core Jewish values. There are certainly, my opinion, an absolute chillul Hashem, the core values of Torah. In regard to of course, bumps along the way. But their reaction if we weren’t involved halachic issues, I do speak to a posek. that is the general goal. with them might have been animos- I am not at liberty to discuss who it is, YH: Do you feel that your presence in ity. On a daily basis I remind them that because I know that what happened to Yesh Atid has at all tempered their stance these are just politicians and that the me is what will happen to him. regarding chareidim? overwhelming majority of the chareidi YH: You say “halachic issues,” but you DL: Absolutely, and on a daily basis. community are wonderful, nice people have left out the political issues. But let me begin that there is no one with derech eretz for others. DL: I speak to him and to others in Yesh Atid that has hatred for charei- YH: The chareidi draft—when will it about the political issues too, but like dim. And no one in Yesh Atid who has kick in, and is it possible that it will be I said, anyone that comes out will just an agenda to have chareidim be any less overturned in some future government be destroyed by things. I mentioned chareidi or are anti-chareidi. Anyone that deal? Are there circumstances where you halachah, true, but the fact is true for would spend ten minutes with see that some other deal can be made? Rabbi Dov Lipman political issues as well. would realize very clearly that that is not DL: I think that, number one, this is the YH: Is there any matter in which you the case. How have we tempered them? best deal on the table that the chareidi Also, after talking to many chareidim would seek guidance from a Rav Shtein- We’ve certainly been able to share the community will ever see. It is a tragic right here in this offi ce, we have found man, a Rav Shmuel Auerbach, a Rav Torah perspective. That there will be mistake that they compare what is being that there is also a huge problem from Chaim Kanievsky? 1,800 yeshiva students who will be able done to what the Romans and the Greeks the chiloni end of things. The chareidim, DL: I would like to think that I would to learn full time is something that we did to the Jews. The vision that we have even when qualifi ed, are just not being follow their view in pretty much every- have an impact on. We have set forth the will take time. But with the plan, the pov- hired for the jobs. To address this, we thing, but once again there are oth- case that the can establish who erty that exists in the chareidi commu- have just met with and took on board ers that set the agendas and dictate to are the iluyim, who could learn full time. nity will be eliminated, as they will have an organization named Alljobs—which them. Unfortunately, they are not as And everyone will be able to learn until the opportunity to go to work legally. is the number-one employment fi rm in free to say things and they too have 20. Now also, it could be that someone This plan will allow every chareidi to be Israel—they are opening a division for been victimized in a sense by people at 16 is not so into the learning but at 19 free to go to work afterward. And 1,800 chareidim. There will be an option of around them. he’ll be ignited. The legislation that we yeshiva boys, iluyim, will be allowed to mehadrin, where special kitchens will be YH: Theoretically, if Rav Chaim are introducing is allowing for that. And study full time. Everyone can learn for a available for chareidim to work in indus- Kanievsky were together alone with you right after Elul, the fi rst chareidi type of few years and for just two years they will try and the corporate world. The kitch- in a place far away from everyone else hesder yeshiva will be launched. have to do national service. ens will even have a rav ha’machshir and said to you in complete privacy, “Reb

18 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Dov, I am not being victimized and these are my true and com- pletely legitimate beliefs. Abso- lutely no one is pressuring me.” Would you be willing to change course? DL: This is a completely hypothetical case and I don’t think that it could happen, so it is relatively fruitless to pur- sue this. YH: You seem to character- ize Yair Lapid as not against the chareidim, but let’s go back to that sarcastic little tirade he had a few months ago where he said, “We are sick of listening to you. I feel so bad for you that you are no longer in power.” Does this not strike you as a tinge of anti-chareidi-ism?” DL: I do not believe that Yair Lapid has any anti-chareidi agenda. This tirade was said spontaneously in response to the fact that the chareidi MKs would not let Yair Lapid get in one word edgewise. It was completely inappropriate. He had the fl oor and they refused to allow him the basic courtesy of fi nishing his sentence or thought without taunting and interrupting. He did not plan to say that, but he felt forced to. YH: That is a diffi cult conclu- sion to make for two reasons. First, it was very polished and looked well-rehearsed. DL: It wasn’t; it was sponta- neous. YH: Secondly, I recall seeing a video of it. I believe, if I am not mistaken, that he was reading it from a prepared text. DL: I don’t think so, but we can check. It doesn’t matter, however. Yair Lapid is merely trying to achieve a measure of fair share and he has no agenda of making chareidim any less chareidi. YH: Is it at all possible that Dov Lipman has made an error in sizing up Yair Lapid? DL: Yes, it is possible. I don’t think so, but I constantly ques- tion myself, as everyone should do. We should never assume that we are always right and that we have all the answers to questions. That being said, I think that when Yair Lapid makes these statements he is responding to the most out- landish broadsides. YH: I’d like to switch tracks a bit on the next question. As you know, approximately ten years ago, the Knesset forbade domes- tic foie gras production on the grounds of cruelty to animals. Last week you introduced leg- islation to forbid importing it as well. A month ago or so you claimed that you were victim- ized unfairly by people attack- ing you without having exam- ined the issue. I personally have visited a foie gras production plant in the United States. Now, I am not addressing the possible

Continued on Page 20 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 19 DOV LIPMAN Rabbis , David Lau Continued from Page 19 treifus issue. I am simply exploring your Elected As Chief Rabbis statement that it was tzaar baalei chaim. I personally believe that there is no tzaar Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef has been elected riage ceremony, and the rabbi replied Eliyahu: 49; Rabbi Tzion Boaron: 28; baalei chaim issue here at all, as seen Israel’s Chief Sephardic Rabbi, and that he hopes that his son will get to and two empty envelopes. In the race from the conditions that I observed, and Rabbi David Lau has been elected conduct the marriage ceremonies of for the Sephardic rabbi, the votes were as testifi ed by numerous people who have Chief Ashkenazi Rabbi. The rabbis are Netanyahu’s sons, once they fi nd fi t- divided as follows: Rabbi David Lau: been in these plants, and by the numer- to serve 10-year terms. ting wives. 68; Rabbi David Stav: 54; and Rabbi Yaa- ous teshuvos in the Acharonim and ear- Rabbi Lau, born in 1966, studied at A body of 150 rabbis and public fi g- kov Shapira: 25. lier, including the Rema. So I would like Yeshivat Hayishuv Hehadash and Yeshi- ures voted Wednesday to elect the two Two other candidates had with- to ask you: Were you ever at a goose-rais- vat Bet Matityahu. He was the fi rst new Chief Rabbis of Israel: one Chief drawn from the race. Rabbi Eliyahu ing plant to see the alleged tzaar baalei rabbi of the community of Shoham. Sephardic Rabbi and one Chief Ashke- Aberjil submitted his decision to with- chaim yourself? When the city of Modiin was estab- DL: No, I was not. lished, he became its chief Ashkenazi YH: Are you willing to revisit the issue rabbi. He is a major in the Intelligence by paying a visit to such a plant so that Corps reserves. Netanyahu mentioned you can see for yourself? I mentioned it to Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef, born in 1952, the gentile manager of the foie gras plant heads the Hazon Ovadia yeshiva and that the elder Rabbi Lau conducted in upstate New York and he was more wrote a series of books on halacha, the than willing to speak to you about it. Yalkut Yosef. his marriage ceremony. DL: I am always willing to revisit any The results are a victory for the cha- issue. And I would welcome the oppor- reidi-religious stream. The two victo- tunity to go with you to the plant. rious candidates had reached a deal, YH: You have expressed reservations according to which the supporters of nazi Rabbi. Voice of Israel public radio draw from the race earlier this week, concerning some of the tactics of Shas each would vote for the other. Candi- said Wednesday evening that 147 of the and Rabbi Ratzon Arusi announced he in terms of promising voters Olam HaBa dates from the religious Zionist stream 150 members had voted. was dropping out Tuesday. Both were if they vote for Shas, but have they not failed in both the Ashkenazi and Sep- Six candidates were in the race for candidates for the Sephardic post. caused a resurgence in Sephardic reli- hardic races. the two positions. Rabbi Yaakov Sha- Rabbis Shapira, Stav, and Eliyahu are gious observance? Is this not a very good Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef is the son of pira, Rabbi David Stav, and Rabbi David identifi ed with the religious-Zionist thing? Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, former Chief Lau were contending for the position stream of Jewish thought, while Rab- DL: I have never questioned the accom- Rabbi. Rabbi David Lau is the son of of Chief Ashkenazi Rabbi, while Rabbi bis Lau, Yosef, and Boaron are affi liated plishments of Shas, and in the Knesset I Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau, also formerly , Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef, with the chareidi-religious approach. enjoy working with them. They are my Chief Rabbi. and Rabbi Tzion Boaron were com- There have been numerous calls in friends, and all of Shas MKs themselves Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu peting for the post of Chief Sephar- recent months to unite the two posi- have served in the army. The resurgence, called Rabbi David Lau after the vic- dic Rabbi, also known as the Rishon tions and elect just one Chief Rabbi. of course, is an excellent thing.  tory. “In the spirit of the unity of Letzion (literally: The fi rst for Zion). The idea was fi rst fl oated by MK Moshe Israel,” Netanyahu said, “I congratu- In the race for the Ashkenazi rabbi, Feiglin and then adopted by Ministers Rabbi Hoffman can be reached at late you.” Netanyahu mentioned that the votes were divided as follows: and Tzipi Livni. (Arutz [email protected]. the elder Rabbi Lau conducted his mar- Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef: 68; Rabbi Shmuel Sheva) 

20 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES NBN Celebrates 35,000 Olim, ‘Children’s Flight’

BY RABBI YAIR HOFFMAN This summer alone Nefesh B’Nefesh assisted in the aliyah of over 3,000 It is bound to happen; the ques- Jews. In the past ten years NBN has tion is when. Rabbi Yehoshua Fass, been responsible for assisting over co-founder of Nefesh B’Nefesh, will 35,000 people in making aliyah. win the much-coveted Israel Prize. At the arrival ceremony, thou- And no one has any doubt as to why sands of people were present, Knes- he will win it. set Members, business leaders, and Rabbi Fass and co-founder Tony family members. Both founders were Gelbart have found innovative ways on the flight. Rabbi Fass could eas- to increase aliyah. They have made ily have been confused with one of it easier, smoother, and significantly the new olim, as he was schlepping a more popular. And, of late, they have baby down the aisle of the airplane. attracted families with young chil- He appeared as the consummate new dren. oleh, with bags, baby, and car seat in As the latest Nefesh B’Nefesh flight tow. of new olim will attest, this organi- In anticipation of the flight’s zation creates facts on the ground in arrival, Nefesh B’Nefesh prepared Israel. reinforcements to help the parents On the July 22 flight, dubbed the watch over their children and keep “Children’s Flight,” more than 220 them occupied during the long flight olim were on board, 106 of them and at the arrival ceremony. Amongst under the age of 17. the activities that awaited the chil- Rabbi Fass and Nefesh B’Nefesh dren were aliyah coloring books, have succeeded in removing the games, and custom-made T-shirts. impediments, easing any “pain in the NBN is innovative. Not a week or neck” associated with aliyah to Israel. month goes by where some improve- From processing all the paperwork in ment isn’t thought of, discussed, or revolutionary new ways, to providing implemented. There are webinars, and certain types of grants, airplane fare, new programs to populate the Galil, Peter Halmagyi Peter

Gilad Schalit accompanied the more than 200 North American olim aboard this summer’s fi rst Nefesh B’Nefesh charter aliyah fl ight, which included the organization’s 35,000th oleh. transportation and housing and job the North, or even the Negev are con- assistance—Nefesh B’Nefesh (www. stantly being developed. This fl ight had nbn.org.il) does it all to make aliyah former POW Gilad Schalit accompany an easier decision. the new olim, and all of them were The upshot? It works. touched and inspired. Nefesh B’Nefesh Sharon Millendorf, an employee is a team player that works with the of Nefesh B’Nefesh for six years and Jewish Agency, Keren Kayemet, El Al, originally from Riverdale, New York, and the Knesset. Together, they make says that there are two reasons why a well-oiled machine. he should win the prize. “The first is New olim came from across the the obvious reason. He has affected spectrum and from many of our local the lives of Jews around the world. schools too. There were former stu- He has changed the way the world dents of HALB, TAG, Sh’or Yoshuv, and views aliyah. In the past if you were Bruria too. interested in aliyah, you kind of had Upon arrival, the new olim were to talk about it quietly. Now that’s greeted by soldiers, fellow citizens, no longer the case. That’s the obvi- CNN television crews, and a remark- ous reason.” She continues, “The able reception including inspiring less obvious reason is the things he words from former oleh and current does on a quiet level. The amount of MK Dov Lipman and Natan Sharansky people who connect with him, who as well. The new olim were treated to e-mail him, his humility. The respect watching a marriage proposal from that they all have for him is incredi- an oleh who just arrived last year and ble. He is a true ben adam.” became a soldier.  5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 21 Chelek Vav Of Dirshu Mishnah Berurah Released

BY CHAIM GOLD Contemporary Questions, Age-Old Rulings “It is the best yom tov gift that I Talmidei chachamim have come to see could have gotten!” That is the way the Dirshu Mishnah Berurah as an indis- one prominent talmid chacham pensible sefer for modern-day halachic expressed his joy at the release of observance. In the Dirshu Mishnah Ber- Chelek Vav of the Dirshu Mishnah urah one can learn the hallowed words Berurah. The release of the new vol- of the Mishnah Berurah, absorb the ume of the Dirshu Mishnah Berurah foundations of halachah, and simulta- this summer, before the onset of the neously reference all of the myriad con- Yomim Noraim and the Sukkos sea- temporary sh’eilos that have cropped son, has been joyously greeted by the up since the Chofetz Chaim wrote the Torah community worldwide. Chelek Mishnah Berurah more than 100 years Vav covers all of the yomim tovim ago. The Dirshu Biurim U’Musafi m including chol ha’moed, in addition to published opposite the Mishnah Ber- Tishah B’Av and Chanukah and Purim urah enables the learner to learn the as well. The completion of this sixth halachah and look at the opposite page chelek is a true milestone affording to see all of the relevant halachic rulings lomdei Torah access to the special from the great poskim that came after qualities of the Dirshu Mishnah Ber- the Mishnah Berurah, right through the urah in all six volumes. poskim of our time. Another extremely important, Especially when it comes to the groundbreaking addition to the Dir- yomim tovim, there are so many new shu Mishnah Berurah is the copious realities that have not specifi cally been diagrams throughout hilchos lulav. discussed in the Mishnah Berurah. In • Are the gedolim pictures that people Why did the previous Sanz-Klausen- One of the most diffi cult aspects of the more than 700 pages packed with hang up in the sukkah muktzah? berger Rebbe close his eyes from the learning the sixth chelek has always fascinating sh’eilos and cross-references, • Can one use Krazy Glue to glue together time he came to the Old City until he been the laws of the four species. It one can fi nd questions, such as: a lulav whose middle leaf has split? arrived at the Kotel? was often diffi cult for even an accom- • Can one wear Crocs on Yom Kippur? In addition, the new Dirshu Mishnah plished learner to comprehend the On the one hand, they are more com- Berurah has nuggets that can shed light Completing The Picture varied scenarios regarding the kashrus fortable than most shoes; on the other on practical halachah in Eretz Yisrael in The Biurim U’Musafi m have become of a lulav, esrog, haddasim or aravos. hand they are not made of leather. our time. When the Chazon Ish and the an indispensible tool in limud halachah The Dirshu Mishnah Berurah’s pre- What about fake leather shoes? Must Steipler Gaon came to Yerushalayim, for good reason. Every effort has been cise diagrams bring an entirely new one worry about the fact that people at what point did they tear their cloth- expended to maximize its benefi t. dimension to learning these import- might mistakenly think you are wear- ing in mourning over the Churban Beis ant halachos. ing leather shoes? HaMikdash? Continued on Page 24

22 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 23 Dirshu Mishnah Berurah These commentaries also present hala- poskim as Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky, Berurah are brought in the Dirshu Mish- Continued from Page 22 chic rulings not contained in the Mish- the Tchebiner Rav, Rav Moshe Feinstein, nah Berurah. nah Berurah which shed insight on the Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky, the Steipler It is thus no wonder that in the few Two entire kollelim were established topic at hand. In a wonderfully cogent, Gaon, Rav , years since the Dirshu edition of the for the express purpose of compiling concise manner, the Biurim part of the Rav Yosef Sholom Elyashiv, zt’l, and Mishnah Berurah burst onto the Torah the Biurim U’Musafi m section accom- Dirshu Mishnah Berurah cites these even our current poskim, ybl”ch, Rav scene it has won the hearts of lomdei panying every page of the Mishnah Ber- rulings, thereby offering the learner a Shmuel Wosner, Rav Chaim Kanievsky, Torah throughout the world. With the urah. One of the kollelim is headed by quick, comprehensive listing of related and Rav Nissim Karelitz, shlita. In addi- completion of Chelek Vav, Dirshu has one of the gedolei horaah in Eretz Yis- halachic rulings and explanations from tion, all of the Chazon Ish’s rulings that brought yom tov to Klal Yisrael early rael, HaGaon HaRav Nosson Kopschitz, the Chofetz Chaim in his other sefarim. pertain to the words of the Mishnah this year!  shlita, Rav of the Kehillas Hacharedim of Bet Shemesh. The purpose of the copi- Current Rulings Who led you through that great and terrible desert . . . ous research was to give those learning Perhaps the most exciting compo- [a place of] thirst where there is no water Mishnah Berurah the most comprehen- nent of the new Dirshu Mishnah Ber- sive picture possible of all the material urah is the “Lekutei Teshuvos” section (Devarim 8:15) pertaining to the applicable halachos. of the Biurim U’Musafi m. The Chofetz The “Holy Ari” (master Kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak Luria, 1534–1572) writes that the The “Musafi m” component adds the Chaim completed the Mishnah Berurah last generation of the Galus (Exile) is the reincarnation of Moshe’s generation—the Mishnah Berurah’s own additional in 1907. Over the past century, umpteen “generation of the Desert.” words and rulings culled from other technological advances and countless Indeed, ours is a generation of “thirst without water.” It is a generation that thirsts areas on the subject at hand. For exam- questions relevant to today’s lifestyle for the truth, thirsts for meaning and purpose in life. But the water to quench this ple, if the Mishnah Berurah, when have arisen. All of these rulings are of thirst, the knowledge to address the why and how of existence, is elusive to them, expounding on the laws of Yom Kippur, course rooted in the original words of sealed behind barriers of ignorance and alienation. discusses one topic at length, and in the the Shulchan Aruch and poskim. The But the thirst is there, awaiting satisfaction. Ours is a generation prepared to drink, if laws of Tishah B’Av discusses the same Dirshu edition of the Mishnah Berurah only they would be provided with the water they know not where to seek. topic in a shorter, less elaborate way, brings literally thousands of rulings (from an address by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, summer of 1957) the Dirshu edition will bring the Mish- from the gedolei ha’poskim of the previ- nah Berurah’s words from the other ous generation as well as from contem- location. This frequently sheds light porary poskim, each in its proper place For G-d your G-d . . . is a consuming fire on the halachic ruling and enables the in the Mishnah Berurah. Therefore, (Devarim 9:3) learner to see how the Chofetz Chaim while learning the words of the Mish- himself ruled on a similar matter in a nah Berurah, the learner is empowered G-dliness is a blazing flame; Torah study and prayer require a flaming heart. Between different place. with the ability to know and under- coldness and heresy stands an extremely thin wall. Another component is that of the stand the rulings of the great poskim (Rabbi Shalom DovBer of Lubavitch) Biurim. Often, in the main body of the on thousands of modern practical ques- The chassid Rabbi Nechemia of Dubrovna told: Mishnah Berurah the Chofetz Chaim tions. Even more important, he can I once saw a Russian soldier being whipped. His crime? While standing watch on a only writes the actual p’sak halachah learn and understand how these mod- winter night, his feet had frozen in their boots. “Had you remembered the oath you without giving the reasons behind ern-day rulings have their source in the took to serve the Czar,” his commander berated him, “the memory would have kept that ruling. It is not uncommon how- original words of the Shulchan Aruch you warm.” ever, for the Chofetz Chaim to elabo- and Mishnah Berurah. rate on the reasoning in his commentar- The rulings included in the Dirshu “For 25 years,” concluded Rabbi Nechemia, “this incident inspired my service of the Al-mighty.” ies, Shaar HaTziyun and Biur Halachah. Mishnah Berurah are from such revered

24 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES ority, instilled and impressed into our cord erupt, serving to distract us (or, The Jewish Puzzle collective psyches over centuries of perhaps, defend us) from facing this rather rough-around-the-edges recep- existential examination. We remain BY DONI JOSZEF deeper feelings of Jewish shame. tion. And, like the bully victim, we per- geographically, politically, and ideo- Media efforts have exacerbated this petuate this self-perception beyond its logically scattered, and so our identity A puzzle looks very different in its ailment, propagating the sense that appropriate atmosphere. remains shattered. fi nal form than it does in the box. religion, in general, and Orthodox Juda- Inferiority is a complex complex, Indeed, it’s hard to see the puzzle The fi nished product portrays a uni- ism, in particular, is a comical attach- indeed. when its pieces seem so distant and fi ed, holistic, cohesive design. The ment to archaic times, at best, or a cor- “Get over it,” you say? If only it were detached from one another. Perhaps fragmented pieces, on the other hand, rupt force of hypocrisy, at worst. The so simple. the time has come to look at the box, appear confusing, confl icting, and headlines usually thrive on exposing To do so, we may start by asking: to recall the bigger picture, to regain helplessly unrelated to one another. such shadows for the delight of pub- Who are we when we’re not being per- perspective of our greater whole rather • • • lic consumption, coining clever plays secuted or victimized? Do we have an than fi nger-pointing and segregating Much has been said in recent years on titles to add humor to humiliation. identity beyond the societal scapegoat into isolated parts.  about the growing phenomenon of bullying. But the trend is hardly lim- Doni Joszef, LMSW, is in private practice ited to the social sphere; it exists on a working with individuals, families, and groups We see our national narrative in Lawrence. Available by appointment. Call societal level, as well. 516-316-2247 or e-mail [email protected] to Jews have been proverbial bully vic- schedule a consultation. tims of practically every place we’ve as a sort of ‘Fiddler on the Roof 3.0.’ touched. Historically, we tend to invoke a sense of envy and/or disgust in our surroundings. The tragic and misguided result is or bully victim? What is our mission, Why? that we begin to question our own what are we trying to achieve on a col- Is it because we call ourselves “cho- values, rather than the soundness of lective level, and what’s stopping us sen”? Is it because we’re not the those who misrepresent them. We from getting there? most stylish tribe on the planet? Is become apologetic Jews rather than The problem right now is that we it because we make (and sometimes example-setting Jews. We see our resemble a classroom in chaos, each take) money? Is it some pathological national narrative as a sort of expired member yelling and shouting to shut case of national narcissism which per- anachronism; Fiddler on the Roof 3.0, the others up. The yelling is great for petuates its own self-fulfi lling proph- as it were. releasing steam and wasting class time, ecy from generation to generation? Whether we know it or not, we but it does nothing to answer the ques- Unclear. subconsciously (and often con- tion being posed on the blackboard. But what is clear is that—like the sciously) blindly buy what we see on The Jewish question—the puz- bully victim—we begin to internalize our screens, on front-page news arti- zle we’re trying to piece together— the role, as chronic feelings of inferior- cles, and on the projections we sub- has surfaced and resurfaced in recent ity and victimization are pretty much consciously transfer to the eyes of decades, with a range of attempts all we’ve been conditioned for. March- our beholders as we walk through air- at providing some semblance of an ing and campaigning for so-called Jew- ports, shopping malls, and subway sta- answer. But a comprehensive, cohe- ish pride is, more often than not, a tions. We assume people dislike us sive, holistic response seems far from weak attempt at compensating for because we carry a complex of inferi- sight. Fragmentation and internal dis-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 25 NY Federation Boycotts only according to Israeli law but cotted by the Israel Trauma Coa- and music and art therapy for also in accordance with Ameri- lition (ITC), an organization that these children who have expe- Judea And Samaria can tax law. Any American dol- was wholly established by the rienced and in many cases have lar donated is fully tax-deduct- New York Federation, funded witnessed the deaths of their Tidbits From Israel Union member nations to label ible to the extent provided by entirely by Federation dona- parents and siblings. If New Jewish goods and services, and law. This has not stopped the tions, and operated according to York Federation-funded agen- BY RON JAGER even academic research propos- New York Federation from vol- Federation guidelines. The local cies can so blatantly boycott als from institutions and fac- untarily boycotting 700,000 Regional Council has helped children who have lost their par- Much has been said about tories that have their offi ces Jews, joining the Europeans and with their limited resources, the ents and siblings to terror, why the Europeans’ latest decision or manufacturing facilities in the many enemies of Israel who very opposite of all other com- should we be so surprised when to boycott Jews. What most of Judea and Samaria, is relatively have been behind the boycott munities within the Green Line the Europeans adopt a similar us don’t know is that the deci- recent yet no different than the movements throughout the that have received generous policy of boycotting Jews? sion to boycott affects much “gentleman’s agreement” that world. trauma assistance from the New Israel should and must larger regions beyond just Judea has been voluntarily adopted The most blatant example of York Federation. respond to those that boy- and Samaria and includes, in and implemented by the New this voluntary boycott by the Judea and Samaria as a whole cott Jews, and expel the EU addition, the following areas: York Federation for many New York Federation has to do is the home of over 100 terror from the so-called peace pro- the eastern, western, northern, years. The New York Federation with the victims of terror. The orphans. The New York Feder- cess. Israel should declare that and southern neighborhoods does not cross the Green Line community of Itamar, located ation has invested tens of mil- the European Union and all its of Jerusalem; the whole Ramat (known by many as the 1967 adjacent to the city of Shechem lions of dollars in trauma resil- member states will no longer HaGolan; the whole Jordan Val- borders) unless of course it’s to in Judea and Samaria, has had iency programs and trauma be considered honest brokers, ley; and parts of the Dead Sea. assist Palestinian Arabs, mean- no fewer than 22 of its residents treatment programs in Israel, and no Israeli offi cial will meet The fact that all of these areas ing that Jews who can benefi t murdered by Palestinian Arab and not one cent of direct fund- with them on any issue related have been awarded Israeli sov- from the many programs that terrorists. They have the highest ing has crossed the Green Line to the peace process. Further- ereignty and are considered an are funded and provided by the terror murder rate of any com- to assist these very special chil- more, any European state wish- integral part of Israel means New York Federation for the cit- munity in Judea and Samaria, dren. Despite the Jewish res- ing to be included in the peace nothing to the Europeans. It’s izens of Israel are effectively in Israel, and probably in the idents of Judea and Samaria process must sign a statement been less than 70 years since the barred if they reside in Judea world—the Fogel family massa- being on the front lines on that the territories of eastern last time the Europeans forced and Samaria. cre being the latest tragedy that the “War on Terror,” the New Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria, Jews to be publicly labeled so Jews living beyond the Green this community has endured. York Federation would prefer and the Golan Heights are in that they could be differenti- Line have been voluntarily boy- They would be the ideal com- to use funding to give expo- dispute and their fate will be ated from the rest of humanity, cotted by the New York Federa- munity to benefi t from trauma sure to those that support boy- determined through direct and it seems as if they have no tion despite the fact that there interventions at all levels—com- cott movements and the dis- negotiations. It must also com- qualms or regrets doing it again. is no legal prohibition to sup- munity, family, individual, and mantling of the State of Israel mit to disregarding the EU The European Union’s deci- port organizations or commu- children—but essentially they rather than fund programs such directive regarding those same sion to bind the 28 European nities located in these areas not have been untouched and boy- as therapeutic horseback riding territories. The Europeans should also be reminded that Israel is an important trade partner with Europe, and is its third largest trade partner in the region, and that a retal- iatory trade war and boycott would hurt the already failing European economy. As for the New York Federa- tion, their hypocrisy and mis- guided budgetary priorities must be exposed for what they are, and they must be held pub- licly accountable to those that support and donate to the Fed- eration system. Implementing guidelines that are racist and discriminatory in nature are in violation of the law in Amer- ica as well as in Israel. Israel must make it clear that as long as NGOs such as the New York Federation continue their vol- untary policy of boycotting Jew- ish communities and organiza- tions in Judea and Samaria, they risk legal action that could cul- minate in curtailment of their activities in Israel, restrict their access to Israeli government offi cials, and have their entry into the Knesset forbidden. All it takes is a fi rm convic- tion on our part. 

Ron Jager is a 25-year veteran of the Israel Defense Forces, where he served as a fi eld mental-health offi cer and as commander of the central psychiatric military clinic for reserve soldiers at Tel- Hashomer. Since retiring from active duty in 2005, he has been providing consultancy services to NGOs, implementing psychological trauma treatment programs in Israel. Ron currently serves as a strategic advisor at the Offi ce of the Chief Foreign Envoy of Judea and Samaria. To contact him, e-mail [email protected] or visit www.ronjager.com. 26 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The High Price Of Cheap Photography to keep busy. Nor do they enjoy work- ing for studios that are not able to appre- Photo Prose the camera settings being applied in a views, but may show photos they them- ciate their talents. Good studios know shot. selves were not totally responsible for, they do what most cannot. They know BY GARY RABENKO Other photographers need Seeing Eye as when they were a second or third pho- the arduous steps they go through from dogs! I fi nd that most photographers tographer on a shoot and the lead pho- the start of a project to its completion. Good photographers have a big prob- shooting for budget-based studios really tographer was directing the subjects and The personal involvement and attention lem. The sheer ease of being able to do not have any understanding of the lighting. Some photographers talk won- to detail that they spend every step of do any photography, coupled with the theory of light. The same light will be derful technojabber, but ask them spe- the way is what makes the end product economy and job market, has created a used with any image-capture machine, cifi c questions and they are speechless. special and valuable. Quality control and glut of “photographers.” fi lm or digital. They really do not feel In my studio, I have repeatedly shown self-criticism are responsible for making Photography prices today are wild the light. Automation reduces cost. We a set of hidden photos specifi cally made the photographer’s raw visions into a and extreme. Misleading advertising understand that. But what is being auto- without any lighting technique to pho- gorgeous, glamorous, magnifi cently fi n- that mentions price sets a bar that fails mated is not only all the technical set- tographers who boast of their lighting ished album. While most cheap studios to account for clients’ needs and expec- tings that otherwise would be needed. skills, only to have them rave about my use cheap photographers whose vision tations. Automation has crept into how photog- rejected photos, referring to the tech- is off-point and uninspired, some low- Anyone can take photos. There has raphers actually think! There is more nique displayed in the shot, when it was end companies are lucky to have one always been a huge difference between than a four-to-one range in what the in fact devoid of any technique! or two good photographers. Those can skilled photographers and picture-tak- freelance photographers might be get- It is such a pleasure to speak to the show a much better sample album. And ers. But technology makes recognition ting paid at various studios. There can be rare photographer who really knows the proofs will have some magic. But of the less important so easy, that the a fi ve-to-one difference in studio retail light and can see it. Most only think they trust me, it does not take long for a bet- vital is often missed. pricing between the better and lesser can, and are dumbfounded in any real ter photographer to lower his standards With fi lm, amateurs could fear their quality outfi ts. You are not paying for critique. The biggest difference between when the studio owner really only is shutter was not opening, or their set- the same 8” × 10” print or album, though photographers at varying prices is under- watching the bottom line. Nor can they tings so malapropos as to get unusable the physical measurement of the paper standing. It is all about how they think do much creative work that relies on exposures. Maybe composition was in the end product no doubt is the same. and how they see. You are hiring some- costly postproduction to look good. chopping heads off. Digital has embold- You are paying for all the thought, con- one to interpret the event with their The price of cheap photography is very ened confi dence. Oh, image too dark? sideration, awareness, and concern on heart, mind, and eyes and to create a dear. It leads to such an abundance of Take another, lighter. Head chopped off? many levels that is being applied to each body of images that tell the story of weak imagery that has us expecting lit- No, you can see it. But the fact is that the shot. your day, as you will want to see it. You tle more. Ironically, in an age when tech- feeling and true meaning in a photo is Or you are paying less, often much should not be hiring someone merely nology has never been better, the imag- mostly due to subtleties not at all eas- less, for the lack of thought and mind- to move around with a camera and take ery we buy for our home may never have ily grasped from the camera viewfi nder less shooting that occurs automatically pictures. been weaker. Great imagery inspires. or ground glass. Today, good photogra- by persons just “doing a job” for outfi ts When a person has mastered the Bad imagery is a reminder of the high phers still pre-visualize what they expect that only look at it as a job. many techniques and can do what most cost paid for cheap photography. See, to get and they have eagle eyes for what Occasionally I have hired an extra pho- cannot, and has been recognized by oth- it is not only good photographers that is right. Pre-visualization is an advanced tographer, giving that person a chance to ers with skill as being skilled, there is a have a problem. You could too.  practice that can only be done once the show me what he can do, and to prove tendency to have standards, and reasons photographer has mastered a technical to me why he is ready to move up from for what they do. Yes, they may lower Gary Rabenko may be reached at [email protected]. Rabenko Photography & understanding of light and optics and the level he is at somewhere else. Some their price a bit. But they will not charge Video Artists is located at 1001 Broadway in thoroughly and deeply understands all photographers can give good job inter- a fraction of what they are worth just Woodmere.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 27 and creating value for the employer. Remember Avraham, Definitely Not Oz And the only person who can do that Yitzchak, and Yisrael convincing is you. The Job Hunter When a job hunter comes to me at (Devarim 9:27) Pathways, the first thing I tell him BY RABBI MORDECHAI KRUGER is that there is no magical path to a Moshe pleaded: “Master of the job. There is work that can be done, Universe! Why are You angry with Feeling lost? A lot of job hunters Like many job hunters, Dorothy work that requires focus and matu- Israel?” “Because they have broken the do. One moment ago they were liv- got lots of advice from well-meaning rity. Work that isn’t obvious to most Ten Commandments,” said G-d. “Well,” ing a cozy, predictable life. Whether people. Just follow that Yellow Brick job hunters. And although I can teach said Moshe, “they possess a source they were in yeshiva or in school, Road, talk to the wizard, and all will you the steps you should be taking, from which they can make repayment working at home or at a job, some- be well. And with amazing stick-to- I definitely won’t tell where those thing changed. Student, home- itiveness, she made it to Oz, where steps will lead you. Because there are . . . Remember that You tested Avraham maker, or employee, suddenly they she found that the wizard . . . was a many Yellow Brick Roads, all leading with ten trials? Let those ten serve were propelled into a strange place fake. No magic at all. to Success in different ways. And your as compensation for these ten.” road? Sometimes you will find it eas- This is why Moshe said, “Remember ily, sometimes it’s hard, and some- Avraham . . .” times you have to build your own. Like many job hunters, I’d love to be a wizard. I’ve had cli- Another interpretation: ents tell me, “I don’t have time (or Dorothy got lots of advice from patience, or interest) to do your kind Moshe spoke thus: “Master of the of job search. I just want a job!” If Universe! Do the dead live [in the only I could just whisk them right to World to Come]?” well-meaning people. their new employer’s door! Said G-d: “Moshe, have you become a But that would actually be about the worst thing I could do. A job heretic?” where they have to find something At least today’s job hunters don’t hunter builds a connection to an But Moshe answered: “If the dead new. Problem is, they don’t know have to face wicked witches. But a lot employer by focusing on the value are not brought to life in the World exactly what it is they are looking of job hunters are looking for a wiz- he can produce and the problems he for, they don’t know where it is, they ard. That business owner who dav- can solve. He needs to do that to get a to Come, then You are free to do all don’t even know which road leads in ens in your shul. That friend of your job, and keep doing it every day after- that You intend. But if they be alive, the right direction. Might be worth uncle’s who is surely willing to give wards. what will You say to the Patriarchs learning from a slightly different you a chance. That job counselor who So if you are looking for help in when they will arise and seek from gets jobs for lots (thousands!) of peo- finding a job, don’t look for a wizard. “hunter” who was in a similar predic- You fulfillment of the promise which ament a few years back. I’m thinking, ple. Sorry to tell y’all . . . there’s not a Learn how to bring out the magic that You have made them? What answer of course, of Dorothy, that displaced drop of magic in any of them. No one, is inside of you.  worker, who was looking for the wiz- but no one, can “get” you a job. And will You give them? For did You not ard whose magic would whisk her no one will “give” you one, either. But Rabbi Mordechai Kruger is the founder promise them that You would increase right back to the job she wanted you can get hired when you convince and director of Pathways to Parnassa, an organization providing job-search and career their children as the stars of heaven?” most, back on the farm in Kansas, someone that you can do the job that coaching to our community. He can be reached (Midrash Rabbah) working with Aunt Em. needs to be done by solving problems at [email protected].

28 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES that’s the WAY IT IS By Hannah Reich Berman Don’t Take It Literally

As I see it, nobody offers to thing phone. If that name do I need a smart phone when protect anyone these days. I (“everything”) is good enough everyone else in the world has can’t remember the last time I for a bagel, it should be good one? All I have to do is ask the heard anyone say, “I will pro- enough for a phone. The fact person standing next to me. I tect you.” But I have heard alter- is that it does do everything. don’t even have to know that native phrases that are offers of So few people use it strictly for person, and he or she doesn’t the same thing—protection. calls these days that there’s no have to know me. Owners of But now, people say it differ- reason to call it a phone. The smart phones are overjoyed ently. They say, “Don’t worry, I little instrument has so many when they get the chance to have your back!” This expres- uses that it’s hard to know provide information to anyone sion has been on the scene for which one is primary. Some who wants it. This seems to be a while now. If anybody ever people (dinosaurs like me) still the thrill of a lifetime for them. says that to me, however, my use it for calls. But we are few. It leads me to conclude that the fi rst reaction is likely to be, “Are Most people use it to send text smart phone is a toy. It’s the you sure you want it?” My back messages or e-mails. most popular new toy since is nothing to write home about. This is totally understand- the hula-hoop, and it fi ts in a It aches most of the time, and able, because after all, G-d-for- pocket! What could be better? some days it’s only with a major bid an hour should pass with- As I intend to remain without effort that I am able to stand out e-mail! Additionally, just a smart phone, I will remain straight. Anyone who wants my about everyone uses it as a cam- unable to provide anyone back is welcome to it! era so they can take a picture with such vital information as Upon further refl ection, that they can then immediately was itemized above. But there however, I simply hope I will show to someone and then, are some things I can do. I am remember that this is only a just as quickly, delete it so the proud to say that, in addition to fi gure of speech and not to be image is never to be seen again. making calls, I have fi nally mas- taken literally. Nobody who Still, others have a far more tered the art of sending text knows me wants my back, but I important use for these smart messages. I mastered it—but I know that my friends will offer phones. These are the peo- still don’t like it. It takes me too protection should they feel ple who spend every wak- long to do it. My thumbs are that I need it. It took some get- ing hour playing games with the problem. They don’t move ting used to, but I confess that I total strangers. Will some- fast. Then again, no part of me like the new expression. one please explain to me what moves fast, so why should my There’s another new phrase, that is about? Don’t these peo- thumbs be any different? one that replaces familiar old ple have enough family and Unfortunately, speedy tex- complaints such as “He rat- friends? Why play games with ting can be important. I learned ted on me,” “He squealed,” or people they never knew before this the hard way. I was in the “He gave me away.” People and will, in all likelihood, never middle of typing out a text don’t talk like that anymore. meet? Of course some games message, when suddenly I was It takes me time to catch on to have nothing to do with a sec- receiving an incoming call. new things, but even I would ond party. People also play My screen went blank and it no longer use words such as games by themselves. I think of appeared that everything I had squealed or ratted. If I ever feel it as electronic solitaire. so painstakingly written was that someone has betrayed me, Leaving all of the above lost. So, when I was fi nished I plan to say what everyone uses behind, what I think of as with the call, I had to begin my else says: “You threw me under the main function of a smart text all over again. Chances are the bus.” Betrayal is nasty, but phone is that its owner can use that the text was not lost. If I it doesn’t compare to throwing it to look up some vital piece of had more know-how, I prob- someone under a bus. Still, I information that he simply can- ably could have retrieved it like this expression as well. not live another minute with- and continued where I had Once upon a time we would out knowing. And the informa- left off. But, as I didn’t know refer to a person who showed tion is always something that how to do that, I started from little or no emotion as being has to be forthcoming immedi- scratch. The pressure was on! devoid of expression or as hav- ately. Things such as What time And I worked at it as fast as my ing no personality. We don’t say does this movie start on Sun- stubby thumbs would allow things like that anymore. Now day? Who won the U.S. Open in and hoped to fi nish and send it we say that such a person has 2007? What was the name of before I was interrupted again. a fl at affect. That’s my all-time the actress who portrayed the The bottom line is that some favorite! I love that expression, maid in “Gone with the Wind”? changes appeal to me and oth- possibly because the words What is the cost of gasoline in ers do not. But life doesn’t indicate that the speaker has a New Jersey? Who can deny that always offer options. If I want degree of knowledge in the fi eld these are important questions my grandchildren to think I’m of psychology. Of course I have that need immediate answers? cool, I need to speak the new no such knowledge, but why There is no smart phone in language and to communicate should I let that hold me back? my future. Still, one may reach via text. In short, I have to get While changes in speech are me by calling or texting, and with the program—at least interesting, what is really inter- that should be good enough. some of the programs. That’s esting are the names used for Anybody who wants to send an the way it is.  new technological equipment. e-mail to me should be advised The one that I most disagree that I won’t be seeing it until I Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker with is referring to a cell phone get home in the evening. Nev- associated with Marjorie Hausman as a smart phone. Smart doesn’t ertheless, I am not totally with- Realty. She can be reached at do it justice. It would more be out resources. As regards those [email protected] or appropriate to call it an every- vital pieces of information, why 516-902-3733. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 29 oldest one needs to get serious regard- of being without help, and on the other ing school and homework. hand, I feel like she has taken over and MINDBIZ I’ve tried a few times to speak to my is running the show. By Esther Mann, LCSW mother about my different approach to What’s a mother to do? so many important things and tried ask- Powerless ing her to do things a little differently. She gets extremely defensive and even Dear Powerless, will say stuff like, “Well, if you don’t It sounds like you are feeling enor- think I’m a good enough grandmother mously frustrated over the situation at I used to be able to work part time one walks around in just socks, without to your children, maybe I should stop hand, namely your inability to call the and be home much of the time with shoes. There’s a long list of these types coming.” I go into a panic, because I shots while your mother is babysitting my children. This arrangement suited of beliefs that my husband and I don’t can’t afford to be without her. My moth- for your three children. And rightfully me very well. But as our family grew, believe in and now our children go er-in-law lives out of town, and if my so. Every mother wants to feel that they our needs grew and so did our yeshiva crazy if, for example, they see me or my mother decided to no longer babysit are the ones to set the tone for their tuition. It became clear to my husband husband walking around in only socks. for me, I’d be fi nished. So I’m basically children, determine what’s right and and me that I had no choice but to start When it comes to food, we think very working full-time. Though this was not differently. We don’t believe in forcing what I wanted by any means, there was our children to eat if they aren’t hun- “If you don’t think I’m a good no other way to stay afl oat. gry or not in the mood. We believe that Since we couldn’t afford to give any when they’re hungry, they’ll eat. True, of our hard-earned money to hired they are not the best of eaters, but they enough grandmother to your help, my mother generously offered to don’t look malnourished, either. My pitch in and watch our children until mother drives them crazy with food. children, maybe I should I get home from work. She is depend- Always pushing food on them, making able and, in her early sixties, still full of it a big deal, to the point where they get energy. I am very grateful for her help. nervous around food time. (I get home stop coming.” Besides the money issue, I’m happy that after dinner, so it’s a constant problem my children, ages 3, 5, and 7, can be with for them.) Though my children are thin, family rather than a stranger. I don’t like giving them empty calories. caught between a rock and a hard place. what’s wrong for them, and create rules But here is the problem. We have dif- Very often my mother shows up with I desperately need her, yet am uncom- and boundaries. In a sense, your rights ferent belief systems, and she shares bags of cookies and junk food, even fortable with her style and point of have been taken away from you. hers with our children, even though though I’ve asked her not to. view on so many things. I would suggest that you are probably they are in direct contradiction of ours. As strict as my mother is with food, I’m feeling angry, because she has the also feeling quite frustrated over the fact For one thing, she has held on to her she takes homework lightly. My seven- power to control me and get her way. that you don’t have a choice right now parents’ superstitions from way back year-old just completed 2nd grade. She She’s knows I’m desperate and have when it comes to working. You seem to when and is constantly trying to ram didn’t have a great year, and I believe no other choice but to keep her in my have been quite content when you were them into my children’s heads. Old it’s because my mother isn’t spending home for so many hours every week, able to be home with your children European ideas from back in the shte- enough time with her on homework. ruling the place however she sees fi t, without money issues coming into play. tel. For instance, she’ll go mad if one of My mother would rather sit around and my hands are tied. It’s not easy to feel forced into the labor my children is lying on the fl oor and with the children and play with them. As you can see, I walk a fi ne line here. market in order to pay the bills. Though another one walks over him. Or if any- That’s fi ne for the younger ones, but the I can’t risk upsetting my mother for fear many women do it, some women always

30 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES believed they would remain is that there are many areas children’s safety. Things could rather than later, you may be like. If your daughter needs stay-at-home moms. Dreams in which your mother is add- be a lot worse. able to stay home with your help with her studying skills, are hard to part with. ing to your children’s well-be- I’m taking the “acceptance children and run the show use part of your Sundays for For these reasons, you no ing and therefore to your life approach,” because it seems as to your liking. For now, you that. You are still home enough longer feel as though you are as well. For instance, you can though you’ve tried talking to don’t have that option. It may to keep your attachments to the master of your universe. rest assured that there is some- your mother, to no avail. There- be helpful to consider the fact your children intact, so ulti- You’ve been forced to relin- one responsible in your home, fore, rather than continue to that your mother obviously mately your insights and input quish control on several fronts, who no doubt cares about the fi ght her, join her. Compliment didn’t do such a bad job raising are what your children will and that’s hard to do. No won- children above all else. Though her on the things she’s doing you and therefore you can rest hold on to. der you are upset. you may not like what she is right and the fact that your assured that your children will Stay positive, stay grateful, I won’t get into the economic serving for dinner, you know fi nancial solvency is due to her turn out no worse for the wear. stay calm, and you’ll see that it piece of your life now, since that your children are being help. This approach may even And during the time you will all be OK. that is not why you wrote in. given dinner, a dinner served soften her up a bit and create see your children in the eve- I will attempt to address your up with lots of love. You may less defensiveness on her part, nings and on weekends, you Esther Mann, LCSW, is a struggles with your mother. not agree with all of her ideas, which may ultimately lead to and your husband have every psychotherapist in Lawrence. Esther works with individuals and But before I go there, let me but at the end of the day, you some compliance. opportunity to infl uence your couples. She can be reached at just say that life is often full of don’t have to worry about your Someday, hopefully sooner children in any way that you [email protected] or 516-314-2295. sacrifi ces. Most of us, for var- ious reasons, are summoned to choose between the lesser of two evils. Or, putting it less dramatically, to make choices that are not quite as bad as the alternatives. When that hap- pens, it’s easy to look at what we are giving up and feel anger and resentment as a result. That’s probably most people’s knee-jerk reaction to sacrifi c- ing something they want. But there is always the option of reminding ourselves that we have the ability to steer our thoughts toward what we are gaining. By controlling our thoughts in that way, we can create something positive from a negative situation. Though your mother has decided she doesn’t have to play by your rules, my guess

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 31 DAF YOMI INSIGHTS By Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow A Bran Plan For Matzah

Every year around Pesach time, it refi ned white matzah may be used for is obligatory for someone to mention the Seder. the oft-repeated joke, “Why is matzah The notion of eating white bread is called lechem oni? Because it makes not a recent phenomenon. Numerous the purchaser poor.” With hand matzos times, the Gemara states that white selling for as much as $26 a pound, it bread was considered more respect- can certainly break the bank. The Abar- able than whole-wheat. Poor people banel says that when the Jewish nation and slaves, who had to consume infe- was subjugated in Egypt, their captors rior bread, were forced to eat whole- fed them matzah. Obviously, back then wheat bread. It was cheaper to make matzah was cheap food fed to prison- because more of the grain was used ers and laborers. The expensive matzah and there was less processing involved. we eat on Pesach is meant to recall the However, the wealthy shunned whole- inferior food that was fed to us when wheat and consumed white bread. We we were prisoners. would have assumed that since our The Gemara in Pesachim (36b) states, intention of eating matzah on Pesach “One would have assumed that one is to recall the matzah that we ate as only fulfi lls the mitzvah of matzah prisoners in Mitzrayim, we should spe- with pas hidra’ah; therefore the Torah cifi cally eat whole-wheat matzah. The states the word ‘matzos’ numerous Torah needed to inform us that refi ned times to teach us that even matzah fi t white matzah is valid as well. for Shlomo HaMelech is valid for the This leads to the following dilemma: mitzvah.” Now that either whole-wheat matzah What is pas hidra’ah? The Rif or white matzah made with refi ned explains it is matzah or bread made fl our is acceptable, which one is pref- solely of bran. The Ran is perplexed at erable? Whole-wheat may be healthier, this explanation. One only fulfi lls the but this question revolves just around mitzvah with dough that is subject to matzah used at the Seder. Whole-wheat hafrashas challah, and matzah made matzah would be a greater reminder of solely of bran is not subject to chal- the matzah we ate as prisoners. On the lah! Moreover, the correct berachah other hand, the matzah is also meant on such bread would be Shehakol! On to recall the bread that was not given products containing only bran, such as time to rise when we left Mitzrayim. All-Bran, the correct berachah is She- The Nechamas Yosef reasons that the hakol. (Please note that Fiber One has Jews that left Egypt had enough time been reformulated. Older versions of to prepare the dough and to sift it ArtScroll’s The Laws of B’rachos list properly to eliminate the bran. They the berachah as Shehakol. The primary just didn’t have enough time to let it ingredient used to be corn bran. With rise, because they left in great haste. the reformulation, the correct bera- Perhaps, then, refi ned white matzah chah is mezonos.) is preferable to more accurately refl ect Rabbi Binyamin Forst, shlita, wrote the matzah consumed by the Jews who that on oat-bran cookies, one recites a were gaining their freedom. Shehakol (Pischei Halachah 8:53). How- A matzah baker once told me that no ever, Rabbi Forst says that the con- one makes shemurah matzah with 100% sumer should make sure there is no refi ned white fl our. It just doesn’t taste regular whole-wheat or -oat fl our in good. He said that they have a secret the product. If there is, then the bera- proprietary ratio of whole-wheat fl our chah would be Mezonos. Rabbi Vozner to refi ned fl our to achieve optimum noted that most commonly sold bran- taste. In recent years, though, 100% bread is not 100% bran but contains whole-wheat shemurah matzah has the other parts of the grain as well. On become an option. (I have yet to hear such bread, one recites HaMotzi. On an explanation for why some matzah 100% bran bread, one would recite She- bakeries charge more for whole-wheat hakol and would not need to wash or matzos than regular. Shouldn’t whole- bentch (Borei nefashos would suffi ce). wheat be cheaper?) The Gemara concludes that any It is interesting to note that the matzah is fi ne, but nevertheless one Mishnah Berurah says that the shiur may use pas hidra’ah. Would it be per- for eating whole-wheat to fulfi ll the mitted to use all-bran matzah accord- mitzvah of matzah on the night of ing to the Rif? The Rosh explains that the Seder is the same as the shiur for the Rif wasn’t referring to all-bran refi ned matzah. One does not have matzah, just to whole-wheat matzah. to deduct for the bran. The halachah The halachah is codifi ed in Shul- would be different if one added bran chan Aruch that one does not fulfi ll to already-refi ned wheat fl our. In the mitzvah of matzah if it is made that case, the bran would not count with 100% bran (454:1). In light of the towards the minimum shiur and one Rosh’s explanation, the Gemara there- would have to consume extra matzah fore should be understood as follows: to compensate.  One might have assumed that one Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow leads a daf yomi must use whole-wheat matzah for the chaburah at Eitz Chayim of Dogwood Park Seder; therefore the Torah wrote mat- in West Hempstead. He can be contacted at zos extra times to teach us that even [email protected]. 32 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES insights on THE TORAH

Eikev: Bread, Bucks, And Making A Living

From Where I Stand but there was no emotional reward. I also know people who have it all fi nan- BY RABBI YOSSY cially but who are nonetheless unhappy GOLDMAN people. They are highly successful . . . and equally miserable. The successes we “Man does not live by bread alone” achieve do not guarantee our happiness. (Devarim 8:3). A famous line, but what After we’ve bought the house of our does it mean? The verse comes from dreams and our fantasy sports car and this week’s Torah reading and is a refer- the latest mechanical toys, we tire of ence to the miraculous mon, which fell them all. For satisfaction to be lasting it from heaven daily during the Jewish Peo- must be more than material; it must be ple’s sojourn in the Wilderness. The con- spiritual. We need more than bread and clusion of the verse is that man lives by money; we need stimulation and a sense the word of G-d. Thus, it is reminding us of meaningful achievement. To know about the true source of human suste- that our lives have purpose and that nance. somehow we have made a difference. Contrary to popular belief, it is nei- We want to be assured that our work is ther our earthly toil nor the sweat of our productive and will have lasting value. brow nor all those conferences, meet- They tell the story of an old Rus- ings, and sales seminars that ensure our sian labor camp and a long-term pris- success. The reality is that G-d sustains us oner whose job it was to turn a heavy and looks after us. In the very same way wheel attached to a wall on the prison as our ancestors trekking through the boundary. For no less than 25 years this desert were totally dependent on Him poor prisoner worked at his backbreak- for their daily bread, believe it or not, ing manual labor. What kept him going so are we. Wealth is a G-dly gift. At the mentally was the conviction that this end of the day, it is not our hard work or wheel must be attached to a mill on the business acumen alone that provide our other side of the wall. He assumed that prosperity but the blessings from Above his revolving wheel turned the mill and that endow our efforts with success. a watering pipe must have been irrigat- Ask anyone in sales. How often have ing many fi elds. His work was thus help- their best-laid plans and pitches come to ing yield plentiful crops of grain to feed naught and then, out of the blue, a big and nurture thousands of people. After order comes in with little or no effort? 25 years of hard labor, when he was Of course, it’s not the rule, and we must about to be released to freedom, the pris- be prepared to put in effort if we are to oner asked to be shown the mill and the succeed. But when it does happen, it apparatus behind the prison wall. Trag- reminds us that there are higher forces ically, he discovered to his shock that beyond our control at work. there was nothing! The wheel was just I confess. I like a good ad. Some years a wheel—the crass authorities’ instru- ago, McDonald’s was running a cam- ment of manipulation and torture for paign, and in the center of the full mag- no useful purpose. The man collapsed in azine page was a big, fat, juicy double a dead faint, absolutely devastated. His burger. It was bursting from the roll on life’s work had been in vain. either side. The bread was dwarfed by Men and women need to know that the beef, and the caption read, “Man their lives are purposeful, physically and does not live by bread alone.” spiritually. When we understand that A good ad indeed. But no ad agency every good deed is attached to a com- will convince me that Scripture meant plex spiritual apparatus, that our every to teach us that bread is inadequate and action meshes with a systematic struc- what man really needs in life is a burger! ture of cosmic signifi cance, then our The Torah is teaching us something lives become endowed with a deeper about the nature of men and women sense of meaning and purpose. We des- and the spirit of humanity. The human perately need to know that, in some way, spirit is such that we crave more than our work is helping others—that we are bread. making a contribution to society beyond Now “bread” colloquially means our own immediate and often selfi sh money and symbolically refers to all needs. Then we are living. Then we are things material. So “man does not live happy. by bread alone” means that man simply Man does not live by bread alone. We cannot live by bread alone, that human cannot. We dare not. There’s got to be beings cannot possibly be satisfi ed with more to life than bread and money.  bread or money or materialism alone. Rabbi Yossy Goldman was born in Brooklyn and Money is important, but we cannot live was sent in 1976 by the Lubavitcher Rebbe as by money exclusively. an emissary to serve the Jewish community of What about job satisfaction? I know Johannesburg, South Africa. He is Senior Rabbi a number of individuals in our com- of the Sydenham Shul and president of the South African Rabbinical Association. His sefer munity who willingly gave up lucra- “From Where I Stand: Life Messages from the tive positions for less-rewarding ones Weekly Torah Reading” was published by Ktav because they found their work unstim- and is available at Jewish book shops or online ulating. They were making lots of cash, at www.ktav.com. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 33 Glasses Half Broken bent. It turns out that my son needs they give you to break at the chuppah . . . . glasses that can survive getting hit in the So I don’t even know why we call them BY MORDECHAI SCHMUTTER face with a basketball. Apparently, the “glasses.” We should call them “polycar- way you play basketball is that you lob bonates.” I think someone should try to come “Where are your glasses?” the ball toward the person’s face. It’s not “What happened to your polycarbon- up with a better alternative than letting “I don’t know.” your fault, of course. The person is yelling ates?” kids wear glasses. They’re delicate, they’re “Well, look for them.” expensive, and they’re made out of glass “I can’t. I’m not wearing glasses.” (or at least they used to be). What part of “I don’t buy that. You didn’t even notice this says, “Give it to your kids”? If your they were missing.” Why are people with glasses kids say, “I love these goblets that we My second-oldest, Heshy, doesn’t wear drink from on Shabbos! Can I put one glasses, and is young enough to be incred- smarter? Maybe because in my knapsack and bring it to school?” ibly jealous, but he makes up for it by Would you say, “Sure! And here’s a little never having the faintest idea where his cloth to clean it with, if it gets dirty! Make shoes are. they can see the board. sure to lose the cloth on the fi rst day”? You know how sometimes you get Right now, my two older kids have used to someone in glasses, and when glasses. (“Older” is a relative term. They’re he takes off his glasses, something seems “Here! Pass it here!” And has one hand on “I don’t know.” not older than me.) This isn’t anything off? Like his nose seems a little too long? either side of his face. And you can barely “Where did you see them last?” new. My wife and I both have glasses, The issue here is that I’m so used to see- see him because there’s someone “tak- “On my face! Oh, here they are. They’re and we come from a long line of people ing my kids without glasses, that when ing” you and trying to block your line of bent.” wearing glasses. Our grandparents have they’re not wearing them, I don’t immedi- vision. So you blindly lob it at the source The nice thing about wire frames is glasses, as did their grandparents before ately notice, until we’re getting out of the of the yelling, which, as it turns out, is that you can bend them back into shape, them. car in front of their school. your teammate’s face. but unfortunately, not always the right My kids aren’t grandparents yet, but we “Alright, everyone back in the car. We Luckily, the lenses themselves haven’t shape. There’s always something off got them glasses anyway, because appar- have to go home and get Daniel’s glasses. broken so far, because they’re not actu- about it. You put it on a table, and you ently I enjoy spending 70% of my waking And Heshy’s shoes.” ally made of glass anymore. Everything notice how it rocks back and forth, and hours asking them where their glasses It doesn’t help that half the time the is made out of polycarbonate now— you can’t quite put your fi nger on why, are. kids take their glasses off because they’re kids’ glasses, adults’ glasses, those glasses like those chairs that you get in school that you rock back and forth on diago- nally all year. Or you put the glasses on NO ONE PLANS TO HAVE AN and you feel like one eye is looking out Be over the glasses, and the other eye is look- ACCIDENT, BUT YOU MUST BE ing under them. So baruch Hashem, our . . . optician? PREPARED IF THE UNEXPECTED optometrist? ophthalmologist? (I was Prepared never sure which is which.) Anyway, our HAPPENS... optimist is really nice and bends them back into shape, free of charge. So my The 10 Things You Should Do And The 10 Things You Should Not Do If You’re Involved In An Accident kids keep going back there, every other day. He knows them by name. But for 1. Do not pull over and stop if you are bumped from behind and are in his sake, timewise, I hope that bending a deserted area. Call 911 immediately and proceed to a busy area and wait. kids’ glasses back into shape for free is his 2. main source of income. Do not stay in vehicle if you are in a dangerous location. I think part of the issue here is that 3. Do not leave your vehicle in the way of traffic. the perception is that people who wear do 4. Do not let the other party persuade you with promises of reimburse- glasses are smart. I’m not sure why that 1. ment of your damages and to please trust them.. Wait for the police! is. Why are people with glasses smarter? Stop immediately and pull over to a safe location. Do not drive Get a police report to protect yourself. Maybe because they can see the board. away! You can be charged with a hit and run even if the accident 5. But my point is that kids in glasses look was not your fault. Do not volunteer unnecessary information like what you were 2. planning to do after the light changed. Just say, “I stopped at the older and more mature, and you take one If someone is hurt, call for medical assistance. light and was hit from behind.” look at them and think, “Yeah, they’re old 3. Call the police. Make sure to obtain the name and badge number 6. Do not discuss, argue or admit who is at fault. enough to take care of glasses.” But when of the responding officer. 7. their glasses are off, they’re younger and 4. Do not let your car be towed without obtaining information from Cooperate with the police. In New York, you are required to give towing company as to rates and how to get your car released. Make less responsible, and that’s usually when your name and address. Show your driver's license and it clear that they have no authority to dismantle your car or contact they get lost. They never get lost on the insurance card to the other party. Obtain the same from them for your insurance company. Ideally you should have your vehicle person’s face. you will need this information to make any future claims. towed directly to your repair shop or to your driveway. And I would know. I had glasses for 5. “Stick to the facts.” If you were driving at a speed of 40 mph, do 8. Do not leave your car at the towing company's yard for an extended about fi ve minutes when I was a kid. I not say you were flowing with the traffic under the speed limit. period of time. They will assess excessive charges which your got them because my parents thought 6. Obtain names and addresses of vehicle's other occupants. insurance company may not reimburse in full. I was blinking too much. I don’t know 7. Use your camera phone to photograph the damages to the other 9. Do not leave anything of value in your car. how much is too much. But they had me vehicle and of the accident scene or write it down.. 10. checked out, and the doctor suggested Do not choose a repair facility or sign any papers allowing someone glasses. I don’t remember actually hav- 8. Obtain contact information from any witnesses. to negotiate with your insurance company until you are satisfied by recommendations that your vehicle will be repaired properly. ing vision problems—if you’d asked me, 9. Determine the value of your vehicle and the estimated cost of the I would have said that I was blinking repair in order to make an intelligent decision on whether or not to because too much air was getting into proceed with the repair. my eyes. I don’t remember if the glasses 10. Choose your repair facility wisely. The promise of the driver of the first shiny tow truck who says “trust me, we will make your car look like new”, will not help you when you pick up your car with substandard repairs or when you find out that certain parts were not actually replaced. don’t ʺʡʹʸʮʥʹ Yussie Seif | Yoel Schmell ɿ

Mordechai Schmutter is a weekly humor columnist for Hamodia and is the author of four books, published by Israel Book Shop. He also does freelance writing for hire. You can send any questions, comments, or ideas to [email protected]. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 35 1234 5678 9 10 11 12 13

5TJT Puzzle: 14 15 16 Video Games 17 18 19 20 21 22 BY YONI GLATT 63. Bar mitzvah, e.g. 64. Handle 23 24 Across 65. Party handout 1. Mission 66. A long way off 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 5. Abbr. at end of a list 67. Shrek, for one 9. Deep sleeps 68. Went slowly 33 34 35 36 37 14. Penultimate fairy tale word 69. Smooch 15. Discovery grp. 70. Broadway brightener 38 39 40 41 42 16. Raise 17. Kind of pad Down 43 44 45 46 47 18. Fall preceder 1. Offi ce fi ll-in 19. Sleep disorder 2. Allege as fact 48 49 50 51 20. Video game for Esther’s son? 3. Big rig 23. Eye 4. Swedish dough 52 53 24. “Mangia!” 5. Netanyahu’s last fi ght locale 25. Video game for some involved in shi- 6. Tropical root 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 luach ha’kan? 7. “In your dreams!” 30. Local HS 8. Passed in NASCAR, maybe 62 63 64 33. Caviar 9. Navigational aid 34. Red Rose, once 10. “My bad” 65 66 67 35. Chieftains (var.) 11. Series opener? 38. Young’s partner in accounting 12. On a deck, perhaps 68 69 70 40. Masseur’s workplace, maybe 13. ___ missile 42. Insect stage 21. Spooky places 43. Pressure 22. Comfort 36. Diffi cult kid 54. Clothing, etc. 45. Extensions 25. Mars, to the Greeks 37. Camcorder maker 55. **** review 47. Alternative to smoking 26. Civil War side 39. Stitch up 56. Crowning 48. Fell 27. Category 41. “That’s ___!” 57. LP player 49. Video game for most Israelis? 28. “___ alive!” 44. Gulf War missile 58. Fraternity letters 52. Bottom line 29. Fend off 46. Some shoes 59. Egg on 53. It’s mostly nitrogen 30. Religious sch. 50. Kind of station 60. Novice (var.) 54. Ganuv’s video game? 31. The Matrix star’s fi rst name 51. “Double ____” (old video game) 61. Big tournament 62. “Keen!” 32. Lingo 52. Haughty response 62. NFL div.

36 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Solution To Previous 5TJT Puzzle: It’s Always Time For Torah At YFR After Tishah B’Av 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 N A R C S P A R E G G E D 14 15 16 O SEH H ONE D ELTA 17 18 19 P I SA I RIS I RONY 20 21 22 23 E ATSOMEMEAT W AS 24 25 26 T VS A WA I T 27 28 29 30 31 32 T A K EAHOT S H OWE R 33 34 35 36 R UN O NE N OLAN 37 38 39 40 41 I TI D NA G A S E YE 42 43 44 45 M OSHE A IL N IB 46 47 48 49 50 S HABBA TNACH AMU 51 52 P ULSE C HA 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 D A N G ETAHA I RCU T 61 62 63 64 U SING E WER D OSE 65 66 67 C ANOE R ANT E LSE 68 69 70 T REND N YSE N ERD The beis midrash of Yeshiva of Far Rockaway was full during the summer z’man Puzzle appeared on Page 46 of the July 19 issue. with baalei batim and talmidim learning together.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 37 in the groove again after the Octo- construction crews; going in bare feet real estate & ber storm, and their sandy beaches are when you please instead of walking all being combed and dressed up even bet- the time in shoes so you don’t get your mortgage financing ter than they were before. feet dirty; and fi nally having your house Here in the Five Towns, where the back to normal and not having to think By Anessa V. Cohen wrecks from Sandy once stood, many about any more paperwork, adjusters have rebounded, their homes more from the insurance companies, FEMA, beautiful and updated than pre-Sandy. or the SBA—I wish you the joy of the Even streets on which the homes had rest of the summer, just lazing around Summertime looked a little tired and stressed before and enjoying the “good times.”  Sandy have had makeovers and now I know, I know, it is the old cliché, an eye, and come September we will all compete with some of the more favor- Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a “Summertime and the living is easy,” be asking each other, “Where did it go?” ite streets in town with their updated licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. mortgage broker with over 20 years of but the truth is that with this heat wave There have been and are lots of homes and landscaped gardens. experience, offering full-service residential and we’ve been having the last few weeks, it good values to be found in the real-es- Everyone is nearly back! There are commercial real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen is hard to remember that we were cry- tate market this year. Whether it is a still a few more homeowners that need Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian ing only a month ago that there was so new construction in a style you always to catch up, and we hope to see them Mortgage) in the Five Towns and throughout much rain it seemed as if we were going the tri-state area. She can be reached at 516-569- 5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. to have no summer. Readers are encouraged to send questions or Don’t get me wrong! There is nothing comments to [email protected]. I like better than to relax in the pool— Their sandy beaches are being in my pool chair, with a book in my hand and a cold drink by my side in the combed and dressed up even better built-in coasters of my pool chairs, just fl oating along as the hot day goes by. Sound good? than they were before. It sounds good to me too, but I am still dreaming of experiencing that day this summer as I wend my way around wanted, a knockdown (which you will join real soon in celebrating the rebirth the Five Towns, showing and preparing fi gure what to do with once what was of all the “hit” homes and streets in houses for sale. The buying and selling there is no more), or some of the beau- town that have made a comeback. And season of the summer waits for no man, tifully maintained fi xed-up houses that for those of you who are fi nally fi n- and so, unfortunately, work comes fi rst. were and are on display during this past ished and can now enjoy having your For those of you able to live my spring and summer, there is something home back—laundry machines fi nally dream of fl oating in that chair, I say, out there for every taste and pocket- hooked up in-house instead of the laun- please have me in your thoughts. book. dry being sent out on a regular basis; Another week will fi nd us already If you read some of the real-estate sleeping late once in a while instead of in the month of August, with only a periodicals fl oating around, you will getting up and out early every day to let month to go before we once again get see that all of the beach communities the work crews in to start the day; lis- ready for yom tov and school openings. nearby—whether Long Beach, Atlan- tening to the sounds of quiet instead The summer is fl ying by in the blink of tic Beach, or Belle Harbor—are back of the morning-to-night banging of the

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38 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 39 40 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Ingredients: dough in half. Roll out dough on parch- 1 package active dry yeast (0.25 oz) ment paper to very thin. Spread with THE DISH ¾ cup warm water chocolate-hazelnut spread and top with 1 tsp. honey berries and chopped white chocolate. By Elke Probkevitz 1 Tbsp. olive oil Place pizza with parchment either on 2 cups all-purpose fl our a pizza stone or pizza pan directly on ½ tsp. salt the grill. (Pizza stone can be placed on 6 Tbsp. chocolate-hazelnut spread grill 20 minutes before to heat up for a ½ cup white chocolate chips, chopped crisper crust.) Cover grill and bake pizza Grilled Desserts in food processor or blender (optional) for 8–10 minutes until crust is crisp. mixed berries of your choice Repeat with second pizza. When you think of the grill, you might Directions: not necessarily think of desserts. Burg- In a medium bowl, whisk yeast, water, Want to learn how to cook delicious gourmet ers, steaks, chicken, and other savory and honey together. Allow yeast to fer- meals right in your own kitchen? Take one-on-one cooking lessons or give a gift to foods come to mind. But dessert? Not ment and become frothy a few min- an aspiring cook that you know. For more so much. Recently I joined a dinner club utes. Add olive oil and stir to combine. information, contact Take Home Chef personal where fi ve couples get together to cre- In a separate large bowl, whisk together chef services by calling 516-508-3663, writing ate a gourmet meal. Once a month we fl our and salt. Pour wet mixture into to [email protected], or visiting meet at rotating homes with a different fl our and gently mix with fi ngers until www.TakeHomeChef.net. theme, and each couple is in charge of dough forms. Turn dough onto lightly one course. I was faced with the task of ries or skewers with cubed cake and fl oured surface and knead for 5 min- Remember thinking up a grilled dessert to comply strawberries or pineapple. Dip after utes. Form into a ball and place in bowl that article? with the theme. The thought of grilling grilled into whipped cream or choco- greased with oil. Cover with damp Visit our archive section desserts inspired me to come up with late fondue.  towel and set aside in a warm spot for and find any issue of the these ideas: about 45 minutes until doubled in size. 5 Towns Jewish Times Grilled fruit. Grilled fruit might be the Grilled Berry Pizza After it rises, punch dough down online @ only grilled dessert you have heard of. You can use a store-bought pizza dough and knead again for 1 minute. Let rise www.5TJT.com Stone fruits such as peaches and nectar- for a really great shortcut! in bowl another 10 minutes. Divide the ines are commonly used, but fruits such as pineapple, strawberries, or bananas are also delicious on the grill. The nat- ural sugars are drawn out and become caramelized and even sweeter. Serve with ice cream or whipped cream. The warm cake with the cold ice-cream fi lling will be a perfectly balanced summer dessert.

Pizza. Pizza is made on the grill all the time. Topping your pizza dough with sweet ingredients like marshmallows and chocolate or chocolate spread, fresh berries, and confectioners’ sugar makes a delicious dessert pizza on the grill! Grilled sandwich. Instead of a grilled cheese, substitute pound cake for bread and fi ll with marshmallows and choc- olate for a s’mores sandwich or choc- olate-hazelnut spread and bananas or strawberries. Ice-cream sandwich. Choose your favorite cake: banana bread, pound cake, chocolate. Fill with ice-cream fl a- vor of your choice. The warm cake with the cold ice-cream fi lling will be a per- fectly balanced summer dessert. Stuffed bananas. Slice open a banana and stuff it with marshmallows and chocolate chips. Wrap in foil and grill until everything inside is ooey-gooey and melted. It’s a fast, no-mess grilled treat. Top with ice cream for a twist on a banana split. Kabobs or skewers. Make dessert kabobs using marshmallows and ber- 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 41 42 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 43 marked is illegal and even punishable aveidah (returning lost items),” con- with a prison term,” said Rabbi Dayan. tinued Rabbi Dayan. “The unmarked BUSINESS “It is also problematic halachically for stamp is like a lost item of the postal one of three reasons, which may dif- service which should be ‘returned’ by WEEKLY fer between the U.S. and Israel. not using it. “Since reusing the stamp is ille- “Some consider the lost stamp By Rabbi Meir Orlian gal, many authorities consider this abandoned property (yei’ush), though, Restoring the Primacy of Choshen Mishpat issue one of dina d’malchusa, the law which you are not required to return.” of the land,” explained Rabbi Dayan. (See also Shevet Halevi 5:173.) Unmarked “The government is entitled to pass “What is the third issue?” asked Mr. laws relating to taxes and the fi nan- Spitz. Mr. Spitz was going through the ing. What if the post offi ce had lost cial functioning of the government. “Beyond the issues of dina d’mal- mail. He picked up a large envelope, a money and you found it and bought a These laws achieve halachic authority chusa and hashavas aveidah, some wedding invitation. stamp? Would that be considered not as well and are binding on the Jewish authorities suggest that there may “Can I soak the stamps off that paying?” citizens of the country” (see Mishneh be an element of theft here,” replied envelope for my stamp collection?” “I don’t know if that’s the same,” Halachos 6:288). Rabbi Dayan. “The stamp is not a gov- asked his son, Pinchas. responded Mr. Spitz. “Money that was “How might the U.S. and Israel be ernment tax or a lost item of inherent “Of course,” said Mr. Spitz. found has inherent value; the stamp different?” asked Mr. Spitz. value, but rather an indication that The invitation was heavy and you paid for the service of delivering had required three stamps. Pinchas the letter. By reusing an unmarked noticed that only two stamps were Transgression is not healthy stamp you are deceiving the postal postmarked; the third was not marked service into delivering the letter and at all. performing a service without your “Look at this,” Pinchas said to his for the soul. paying them. This may be a form of father. “This stamp is still good; you theft, which is prohibited whether can reuse it.” from a Jew or gentile, private delivery “I don’t think the post offi ce allows is simply an indication that you paid “There is a major dispute between service or governmental.” (See C.M. you to reuse the stamp,” replied Mr. the postal service for delivering the contemporary authorities whether 348:3; Shach 348:3; P.C., Geneivah 1:[1]; Spitz. “Using it would be considered letter.” dina d’malchusa applies in Israel,” Oz Nidberu 6:74.) cheating the government.” “Rabbi Dayan once gave a shiur in answered Rabbi Dayan. “Some say it “How is it cheating them?” argued our yeshiva,” said Pinchas. “He invited applies. Others disagree, because they From The BHI Hotline: Pinchas. “If they didn’t bother cancel- us to discuss business halacha issues base dina d’malchusa on the govern- Paying For The Past ing the stamp, that’s their problem! with him. Would you mind if we ment’s consent for you to live in the Q. When I was an 11-year-old in Anyway, the post offi ce has no way of asked him?” land, whereas all Jews are rightful part- camp, I broke an air-conditioning knowing whether it was already used “I’d love to,” replied Mr. Spitz. “I ners in Eretz Yisrael and are entitled to unit. No one knew that I was the one or not.” enjoy reading his Business Weekly!” live there with or without the govern- who’d broken it. I am now past bar “Reusing the stamp means that Mr. Spitz and Pinchas met with ment’s consent (see Pischei Choshen, mitzvah. Am I obligated to repay the you’re not paying for the letter that Rabbi Dayan. “If a stamp was not post- Geneivah 1:[4]; Yechaveh Da’as 5:63). camp? you will send,” explained Mr. Spitz. marked,” asked Pinchas, “is it permit- “On the other hand, when dealing A. The Gemara (Bava Kama 98b) “Why not?” asked Pinchas. “As long ted to reuse it?” with a Jewish postal service, there may relates that Rav Ashi burned some- as you put on a stamp, it’s like pay- “Reusing a stamp that was not post- be an additional element of hashavas one’s loan document, and Rafram

44 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES instructed him to repay the lender once he becomes an adult. (However, item only if eight conditions are met. G-d hearkened to me at the amount the document authorized Maharam Shick, Y.D. 375, and Erech If any one condition is lacking, you that time also, and G-d him to collect. Even though destroy- Shai disagree with this distinction.) are not obligated to return the item, would not destroy you ing a loan document is not consid- Additionally, even when he did although in many situations it is still (Devarim 10:10) ered direct damage, nevertheless, not derive personal benefi t from the meritorious to do so (C.M. 259:2). The since it immediately prevents the property that was damaged and there item has to be found: Moshe absolved his Creator of His lender from being able to collect his is only a moral obligation to pay the 1. in a place where there is an obli- vow. When Israel made the calf, debt, there is an obligation to reim- owner, one is not obligated to pay the gation to return it (where the major- Moshe began to persuade G-d to forgive them, but G-d said: “Moshe, I burse him (garmi). full value of the damaged item. His ity of people are Jewish); have already taken an oath that ‘He Rashi explains that the incident moral responsibility is to appease the 2. in a place where it seems lost (in that sacrifices unto the gods . . . shall took place when Rav Ashi was a child, owner. He must pay the owner some- an insecure place); be destroyed’ (Sh’mos 22:19), and since it is absurd to consider that as thing to secure forgiveness from the 3. in a manner that indicates it is I cannot retract an oath which has an adult he would have destroyed owner, and only as an expression of lost (it does not seem placed there proceeded from My mouth.” someone’s document. Some author- piety (middas chassidus) would he intentionally); Said Moshe: “Master of the Universe! ities (Hagahos Ashri, B.K. 8:9) derive repay the owner the full value of the 4. when the item was not willfully Did You not grant me the power of from here that one is obligated to pay damaged item. abandoned; annulment of oaths? (See Bamidbar for damages he caused as a minor. Thus, you are exempt from pay- 5. when it is worth the minimal 30:3.) If a jurist desires that others Others contend that technically Rav ing. Still, there is a moral obligation amount of a prutah; should respect his laws, he must be Ashi was exempt from paying for the to approach the director of the camp 6. when there is some siman, iden- the first to observe them. Since You damages he caused as a minor, since and ask for forgiveness. Even though tifying feature, in the item or place have commanded me concerning the the Mishnah clearly indicates that one is not responsible for transgres- where it was found; annulment of vows, it is only right and one cannot collect damages from a sions committed as a child, neverthe- 7. when the person who found the proper that You should follow this child. When Rafram instructed Rav less, transgression is not healthy for item would bother tending to it had it procedure Yourself.” Ashi to pay, he was telling him to the soul and it is appropriate for one been his own; Whereupon Moshe wrapped himself go beyond the letter of the law—lif- to repent upon becoming an adult 8. when it belongs to a Jewish per- in his tallis and seated himself in the nim meshuras ha’din (Taz, O.C. 343:2; (Bach, O.C. 343). son to whom we are required to posture of a rabbinical judge, and C.M. 349:3; Mishnah Berurah ibid. 9; It is also important to note that par- return it.  G-d stood before him as one asking cf. Igros Moshe, C.M. 88:9). Shulchan ents are not obligated to pay for dam- for the annulment of his vow; for Aruch (C.M. 424:8) subscribes to this ages infl icted by their children unless, This article is intended for learning purposes so it says, “Then I sat in the mount” (Devarim 9:9) . . . position and rules that a child does for example, the camp stipulates to and not to be relied upon halacha l’maaseh. There are also issues of dina d’malchusa to What did Moshe say to Him? A most not have to pay for damages even the parents that they will be responsi- consider in actual cases. after he is an adult (see Gra 424:15). ble for damage infl icted by their chil- difficult thing. Rabbi Yochanan said: The Shevus Yaakov (1:177, cited in Pischei dren. Rabbi Meir Orlian is a faculty member of difficult thing he said was: “Do You Teshuvah 349:2) suggests that the the Business Halacha Institute, which is now regret Your vow?” G-d replied: “I regret now the evil which I said I exemption is limited to where the Money Matters: headed by HaRav Chaim Kohn, shlita, a noted dayan. For questions regarding business would do unto My people.” When child did not receive personal bene- Lost And Found #2 halacha issues, or to bring a BHI lecturer Moshe heard this, he proclaimed: “Be fi t from the object that was damaged. Q. When am I required to return a to your business or shul, please call the it absolved for You, be it absolved for However, in the event that the child lost item, and when am I not required confi dential hotline at 877-845-8455 or e-mail You. There is neither vow nor oath any derived personal benefi t, e.g., he ate to do so? [email protected]. To receive BHI’s free longer . . .” food that belonged to someone else, A. The Shulchan Aruch writes that newsletter, Business Weekly, send an e-mail to [email protected]. (Midrash Rabbah) he is obligated to pay for that benefi t a person is obligated to return a lost

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 45 whelmed with e-mails. This type the doors of girls offering them lists of shadchan deserves the credit for of boys’ names to choose from. thinking of you and selfl essly giving You are right that girls are constantly of her personal time in assisting with advised to do their hishtadlus in pur- your quest to fi nding a shidduch. suing shadchanim, to join dating sites Are boys picky? Yes, some are. But and attend singles events. I under- so are some girls. As a shadchan I have stand how that does not seem fair to heard of all sorts of reasons as to why you. By the same token, it is also not a girl would say “no” to a boy who fair to state, as the author of the article Question age, it is most certainly not easy being possesses the same fi ne qualities as does, that at least “90 percent” of men In last week’s issue, a young lady single, especially a frum single girl. his female counterparts—with regard who currently attend singles events wrote of her frustration and her opin- Please understand that all systems to family, education, and physical are those who are “socially awkward,” ions as to why “The Shidduch System” is have their fl aws, and so too does the appearance. Yet the girl feels quite “don’t have any women on their lists,” ruining shidduchim. She feels that today, shidduch system. Although I agree confi dent in rejecting that boy, even and are divorced or in their forties. just about anyone who has the urge to that changes have to be made, I can- though she doesn’t have that long list There are many young, personable, do so can be a shadchan, and although not agree with analogizing the shid- of names as some boys do. handsome, and educated guys who in theory it might be great, as she states, duch system to Communism. “so was Communism.” Singles events do There are shadchanim who have not seem to work in her favor and she vast experience in their fi eld and who cites a number of reasons for that. possess a robust database. On the Sadly, there are no shadchanim Her frustrations are further increased other hand, a shadchan can be, as the as a result of the method involving the article states, “anyone with the urge knocking on the doors of girls girl’s information being presented to the to be a matchmaker.” I sense that you guy fi rst. She also feels that shadchanim feel the latter is a negative aspect, but are encouraging guys to become picky as it does not have to be. offering them lists of boys’ names a result of bombarding them with long The mature shadchan with a long lists of names. In addition, she claims client list and years of experience to choose from. that shadchanim expect every girl to say under his or her belt is usually a per- “yes” to any guy who agrees to date her. son with a strong track record in mak- To solve the problem, this young lady ing shidduchim. As great as their repu- feels that shadchanim should give the tations are, the reality is that this type A shidduch is a personal decision attend singles events. Some have been information to both parties at the same of shadchan is usually very busy and that comes packaged with lifelong previously married and some not. The time. physically does not have the energy consequences that will affect future same holds true for the females who As someone who is in the same situ- to give a single boy or girl their undi- generations. Each person has the attend events. Many fi ne eligible boys ation and agrees with her perspective, I vided attention—if that is what one right to reject a shidduch that does have attended my events and other would like to know your opinion about craves. not feel right to him or her, no mat- people’s events even though they do this. The aspiring shadchan or one who ter how ridiculous it might seem to not fall into any of the categories does the work as a result of an inner an outsider. described in the article. Response calling tends to be very dedicated to Boys are approached with names, You agree that the solution for the By Baila Sebrow the cause. Her phone is not yet ring- more so than girls. And yes, sadly, current faulty shidduch system would I feel your pain. In today’s day and ing off the hook and she is not over- there are no shadchanim knocking on be for shadchanim to stop giving

46 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES names to the boys fi rst. You believe ter. Results were usually positive. In that would eliminate any infl ated today’s world, boys and girls alike sense of self and that no one would examine the résumé sent to them as insights on feel desperate again. a doctor microscopically examines In theory it might make sense. But body tissue. Each word on the résumé THE TORAH the end result will still be the same. is further psychoanalyzed, and the A rejection is still a rejection, and it single boy or girl potentially comes hurts—no matter who does the reject- up with various commentaries as to ing fi rst. what it might mean, when in actual- There are dating sites that offer ity it may be nothing of the sort. An Attitude Of Gratitude females the option of being suggested Sure, the old method was harder. with male names fi rst. And yet these But that will eliminate the wrong BY FIVE TOWNS MARRIAGE INITIATIVE females who opt to date in this man- shadchan for the job. Step one will ner are still single in the same way as therefore be accomplished. Sincerely The following pasuk in this week’s say thank-you at the time of need— those who are fi rst suggested to the dedicated shadchanim will be the parashah is the source of the halachah of such as while the man from Chaverim is males. If this theory would be taken only ones working on behalf of sin- saying Birkas HaMazon, the grace after changing your tire, or when your neigh- one step further, by bringing such a gles, as in previous years. Step two meals: “V’achalta v’savata u’berachta es bor lends you $20 to pay the babysitter, method to private shadchanim, I do will be that more singles will ulti- Hashem Elokecha”—“You will eat, and or when the secretary squeezes you in not believe that it will transport cou- mately date. That fi rst foot in the you will be satisfi ed, and you will bless between two appointments to see the ples to the chuppah sooner. Maybe it door is most crucial. Singles cannot Hashem, Your G-d” (Devarim 8:10). As is doctor. But how many people go back would defl ate the egos of boys, I will get married if they do not have that obvious from the pasuk, the biblical obli- and say thank-you again a few days give you that. But that is not the way to opportunity to date. gation to say Birkas HaMazon applies later, when they don’t have the fl at tire, solve the crisis. Shadchanim should not It’s a long road ahead in getting only when one has eaten one’s fi ll. the waiting babysitter, or the screaming have to be placed in a position to bring the shidduch résumés abolished. But The wording of the commandment to feverish baby? anyone’s ego down in order to get them if most shadchanim would be in uni- say Birkas HaMazon can seem puzzling. Let us try to work on showing our married off. The point is to help singles son and re-create the old method, I While in general we bless Hashem spouse sincere appreciation by express- get married, not to bring anyone down. believe the faulty shidduch system before we eat food, here we are com- ing our appreciation after the fact for I agree with you that more boys would ultimately become obsolete. manded to bless Hashem after we have what he or she does. May we merit expe- should attend singles events, as should Please don’t lose hope, as your eaten and are satisfi ed. The Torah is riencing the rich positive feelings in our more girls who don’t now attend. zivug longs to unite with you, and teaching us a powerful lesson. While marriage that come when each person The solution to the current sys- with Hashem’s help this will occur it is important to express our grati- both appreciates and feels appreciated tem is for people to go back to the very soon. tude while we are “in the need,” there by his or her spouse.  old method in dating. Let’s abolish Baila Sebrow is president of Neshoma is a higher level in gratitude, and that the résumé. Résumés are the num- Advocates, communications and recruit- is expressing gratitude after the need Five Towns Marriage Initiative provides ber-one killers of shidduchim. Back ment liaison for Sovri-Beth Israel, exec- has already been met. When our stom- educational programs, workshops, and referrals to top marriage therapists. FTMI will help in the good old days when the term utive director of Teach Our Children, achs are full and we are no longer hun- offset counseling costs when necessary and also “shidduch crisis” did not exist, most and a shadchanis. She can be reached at gry, then we again thank Hashem, and runs an anonymous shalom bayis hotline for people who wanted to get married, [email protected].  this time at much greater length, for the the entire community Sunday, Tuesday, and did so. The shadchan would make the food He provided us. Thursday evenings, 10:00–11:00 p.m. For the appropriate phone call; whether it Questions and comments can be submitted to This lesson is tremendously import- hotline or for more information, call 516-430- 5280 or e-mail [email protected]. was to the boy fi rst really didn’t mat- [email protected]. ant in life. Most people remember to

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 47 The Truth About Trayvon BY RABBI AVI SHAFRAN ing, holding up the verdict (a reasonable one, considering the dearth of evidence) Could there possibly be anything as evidence itself, somehow, that Mr. else to say about the George Zimmer- Zimmerman’s account must be true. man trial that hasn’t already been All the surety-silliness leads, or said? should lead, to some serious thinking After all, the supporters of Mr. Zim- on the part of people given to such merman have made clear all along endeavors—especially Jews, who their belief that Mr. Martin assaulted pride themselves on being thought- Mr. Zimmerman, a neighborhood ful people. watch volunteer in Sanford, Florida, There are certainly certainties in and that the latter shot his alleged most people’s lives, convictions that assailant in self-defense. Of course, as are rightly embraced for any of a num- everyone knows now, the jury found ber of valid reasons. They include fun- no reason to endorse a different sce- damental things, like belief in a Cre- nario. ator, and that the world has a purpose, And defenders of Mr. Martin have, and that human beings are privileged both before and after the verdict, to fi nd their roles in that purpose. And made their own, different, version of derivative truths, like the rightness of the happening known—that the teen- treating others kindly, and the wrong- ager was an innocent victim of a trig- ness of things like murder or theft. ger-happy, racist cop-wannabe who And then there are things we know targeted Mr. Martin because of the to be true because we experienced color of his skin. or witnessed them. But to proclaim Pundits have since tirelessly trum- our certitude about an occurrence The usual talk-radio pontifi cators did their usual pontifi cating.

peted their convictions, either that removed from our personal experi- the verdict was a triumph of justice ence, and about which we have been or a travesty thereof. served confl icting claims, is senseless. But there is indeed something else We’re entitled (at least sometimes) to to say about the case, and it may well our suspicions, but suspicion is not be the most important thing to say. knowledge. The truth about Trayvon? And that is: No one alive but George That we don’t know what transpired. Zimmerman actually knows what hap- And even in cases where we can pened that night. And so “taking sides” make “educated guesses”—where we on the subject is the height of ridicu- possess some, but incomplete, knowl- lousness. edge—it is always benefi cial to keep Somehow, that self-evident fact in the backs of our minds (or, even seems to have become overwhelmed better, their fronts) acceptance of the by all the reaction to the verdict. Pres- fact that, for all our intelligence and ident Obama came closest to reacting gut feelings, we still might be wrong. reasonably, stating that Mr. Martin’s That’s true not only regarding death was a tragedy but that “we are things like Trayvon Martin’s killing a nation of laws, and a jury has spo- but in myriad realms, like politics and ken” and asking that “every American public policy, where all too many of . . . respect the call for calm refl ection us all too often feel compelled to take from two parents who lost their young unyielding positions based on incom- son.” More recently, he added “con- plete knowledge, and see any other text” to his reaction, saying that the position as obviously misguided. dead teen “could have been me 35 years Doing so, though, telegraphs a spe- ago,” and that even though “somebody cial sort of ignorance—ignorance of like Trayvon Martin was statistically our own ignorance.  more likely to be shot by a peer than he was by somebody else,” the rallies © 2013 Rabbi Avi Shafran and protests that have followed the “It’s All in the Angle” (Torah Temimah verdict were “understandable.” Publications), a collection of selected essays by Those rallies and protests, thank- Rabbi Shafran, is available from Judaica Press. fully, didn’t degenerate into riots, as some had feared. There were, how- ever, gatherings of outraged citizens chanting slogans about justice; and, Remember in some cities, vandalism of cars and bottle-throwing at cops (nice jus- tice there). Al Sharpton, never one to that article? squander an opportunity to capital- ize on tragedies in the black commu- Visit our archive section nity, announced that he would lead a national “Justice for Trayvon” day and find any issue of the in 100 cities to press for federal civ- il-rights charges against Mr. Zimmer- 5 Towns Jewish Times man (which, unless new evidence somehow emerges, seems like a futile online @ effort). And for their part, the usual talk-radio www.5TJT.com pontifi cators did their usual pontifi cat- 48 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES paper towels and toilet paper (the paper OUR ALIYAH towels are a good value because Israeli brands are simply either fl imsy or way CHRONICLE too expensive; the toilet paper at the cur- rent price is not a good value). As I bought By Shmuel Katz the paper towels, the cashiers and all the Israelis expressed surprise that I would buy such a product and in bulk—it is extremely contrary to their customary One Less Import buying habits. Then came the big bags of Splenda Among the things we have missed over frozen meat or American cheese. along with both the Splenda brand and the years is the convenience of bulk shop- A few weeks ago, one local supermar- Kirkland brand boxes of sucralose indi- ping as well as the availability of inexpen- ket totally changed the dynamic of our vidual packets. The Splenda items are sive, quality everyday items. Napkins are “imports,” as it were, with the introduc- extremely expensive. But the Kirkland expensive and abrasive. Soap, shampoo, tion of a new line of products on their one is the best value (per packet) in Israel. even deodorants seem to be much more shelves. It seems like a little thing, but as An article then appeared in the Globes expensive and not as good as what we they introduce more products, we hope business newspaper specifi cally about were used to in the past. that our reliance on schlepping stuff from these products. The chain is apparently Some of these things we have adapted the U.S. lowers. The fi rst product hit the shelves about starting with fi ve items from Kirkland and to over the years. Others still vex us. Then This supermarket opened in Bet three weeks ago. I walked into the super- will roll out additional products over time there are those products that we simply Shemesh only a year ago. But the chain market, and at the front of the store was as the Israeli consumer discovers the bet- feel as if we cannot do without and con- has made aggressive moves to court value a huge display of Kirkland-brand garbage ter quality of the product and the value of tinue to bring them in from the U.S. every buyers and specifi cally the chareidi mar- bags (both kitchen-sized and the large buying in bulk. This is terrifi c for us; with chance we get. ket, the only demographic (other than bags). These are the exact same bags you less room taken up by garbage bags and have been buying at Costco for the last 15 the like, we now have more room in my years and the exact same bags that I have suitcase for important stuff (like American We have never bought an Israeli been stuffi ng into suitcases for the last 7 cheese and all-beef hot dogs). years, as we have never bought an Israeli And the most benefi cial thing of all? garbage bag to use in the house. With the variety of American products garbage bag to use in the house. I was stunned to see Kirkland prod- now being sold to the public here, there ucts on sale in Israel. I immediately called is now one less excuse for why you won’t Goldie and we calculated that the price of make aliyah!  We have become semi-pro at fi nding Americans) who really get the value of the bags is between $4 and $5 more than couriers willing to bring anything from a bulk buying. They even have a shul in the in Costco, which is defi nitely a good value Shmuel Katz is the executive director of small package (usually packets of Crystal store for minyanim—fully stocked with (for Israel). I bought a couple of boxes Yeshivat Migdal HaTorah (www.migdalhatorah. org), a gap-year yeshiva opening this year. Light powder or maybe some clothing) to sefarim (including a full Shas) for those and posted pictures of them online to my Shmuel, his wife Goldie, and their six children a complete suitcase full of various good- who want to take a learning break! So it various groups—all of whom expressed made aliyah in July of 2006. Before making ies. I have traveled with coat pockets full is no surprise that they are now trying to excitement at the prospect of getting aliyah, he was the executive director of the of batteries, a carry-on bag of textbooks bring new products in and attract new them locally. Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can for the school, and bags full of things like customers. The next week, I bought heavy-duty contact him at [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 49 Additional Rulings Of Rav Moshe danger, he must ask his parents’ per- an obvious error here. mission to study there. Someone in Rabbi Felder clarified the typo and BY RABBI YAIR HOFFMAN sumed under the prohibition of kollel must also ask his in-laws, for stated that Rav Moshe was ruling on a bishul akum (ibid). even though there is no full obliga- case where both parents were Jewish, A Review of Reshumei Aharon, Part There is no bittul b’shishim (nega- tion to accord them honor like par- but the mother had become disquali- 3. In the July 5 and July 19 issues, we tion of 1 part in 60) regarding that ents, it is forbidden to cause them fied from marrying a kohein prior to began to review Reshumei Aharon (Vol. which is forbidden to eat because of anguish (p. 61). the birth of the child, but after the I, 92 pages and Vol. II, 45 pages, type- danger, such as a combination fish When there is a hachnasas sefer child was conceived. In that case, set by Machon Daas Z’keinim in Lake- and meat (ibid). [This is actually a dis- Torah, and the sofer really finishes the Rav Feinstein had ruled that child is wood), written by Rav Aharon Felder, pute between the Shach and TaZ in sefer Torah, but the wealthy donors still exempt from requiring a pidyon a talmid muvhak of Rav Moshe Fein- Y.D. 95:3. Most poskim (see Chasam think that they are writing the letters, ha’ben. stein, zt’l. In addition to the remark- Sofer Y.D. 101, Yam shel Shlomo Chulin there is no deception involved here. Back in the laws of family purity, able vignettes and halachos from #15, are lenient like the Shach.] The money they have donated is con- Rav Felder quotes Rav Moshe as for- Orach Chaim, as were detailed in the If someone had adopted a strin- sidered to be full tzedakah. bidding a kesem that was found on previous articles, halachos from the gency because he believed that this Insurance money paid for a sefer colored garments if it was the yom other parts of the Shulchan Aruch are was the opinion of his rabbi, and sub- Torah that was destroyed does not havest (p. 48). [This author (RYH) noteworthy as well. believes that this is an extremely con- troversial ruling, as the Shiuri Sheivet Yoreh Deah It is forbidden to buy and sell HaLevi 190:10:3 “HaYom” writes that In regard to the laws of bishul only ba’alei nefesh are stringent in akum, a gentile is not believed to for- this regard, and Rav Elyashiv permits bid the food by saying that the pilot unkosher commodities. it altogether.] light was extinguished and he relit it. The food remains kosher and we Even HaEzer assume that the fire kept burning sequently was informed that this was have kedushah to it, and may be used In a kesubah (marriage document), unless it is known some other way to not his opinion, there is no need for for other purposes (p. 65). if the word “v’kanina” was left out be true (p. 34). a hataras nedarim, undoing the oath It is denigrating to a sefer Torah to entirely, one may write the word in, Rav Feinstein further ruled that ide- (p. 60). At a separate time, Rav Fein- take a photograph of it unless there is but the witnesses must sign the kesu- ally one should not rely upon a Jew stein explained that a handshake is a good reason to do so (p. 67). bah again. If, however, the line of the having previously lit the pilot light. like a neder, an oath (ibid). In regard to hilchos pidyon ha’ben kuf in the word v’kanina was left out, This should only be relied upon for A person should never take his (the laws of redeeming a firstborn it may be filled in, with no need for a short period of time (p. 35). [Rav father or mother to a din Torah (p. 61). son), it seems that a typographical the witnesses to sign again (p. 77). Felder explained to this author that [This is also in Sefer Chassidim #584. error has entered into Rabbi Felder’s There is no need to separately Rav Feinstein’s concern was that peo- It would also seem that the same rul- text. On page 69, it states that the rent the yichud room, because this ple might forget about bishul akum.] ing would apply to taking one’s rebbe child of a bas kohein or bas Levi with is already included in the hall rental. Potatoes have the status in mod- to a beis din—RYH]. a gentile does not require a pidyon [The husband must take his wife into ern times of an important food and It is forbidden to buy and sell unko- ha’ben. However, in Shulchan Aruch his own residence owned or rented by are subject to the strictures of bishul sher commodities (p. 36). [Thus pork- it states that the child of a bas Levi him in order to fulfill yichud required akum (ibid). belly trading is a no-no.] does not require a pidyon, but the for marriage.] Soybeans are not considered an If someone wishes to study in child of a bas kohein with a gentile When there is a great need, it is per- important enough food to be sub- Israel and it is a time of perceived does require a pidyon ha’ben. There is missible to arrange a get by means of

50 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES a video—this is preferable to a tele- phone. This is only on condition, of course, that they are 100 percent cer- tain that it is indeed the husband. [Although Rav Moshe, zt’l, passed away long before Skype, it would seem to this author (RYH) that this leniency would apply to Skype too.] When there is a great need, one may give a get up until 50 minutes after shekiyah (presumably with the date on the previous day). [In the view of this author (RYH), this ruling seems to be extremely controversial.] Choshen Mishpat If someone printed a book with- out the permission of the owners, it is permitted to purchase it from the publisher while an injunction has not been issued. The reason is that there is an assumption that the owner is not adamant (p. 91). If a car was sold with the specific mileage on it stated, and the odom- eter had been tampered with, even if the seller was unaware of it, the sale of the car is invalid. If the seller made no mention of the mileage and the seller was unaware that the odometer was tampered with, the sale is valid (p. 86). When a charitable institution con- ducts a raffle and they forgot to place one person’s ticket in it, they are not obligated to refund the money, since his main intent is for charity (p. 86). [It would be a good question as to whether this applies to Chinese auc- tions as well. In this author’s experi- ence, people’s main intent is the pos- sibility of winning and at the very least it would seem likely that one should ask the person. By the same token, if it is a high-stakes raffle, such as a limited-sales one, and each ticket is $50 or $100, it would seem likely that keeping the money may consti- tute theft—RYH.] When parents purchase a car for their child, they still have the right to place restrictions and conditions on its use after they give it to him. The rationale is that it is not a matanah gemurah, a complete gift (p. 87). [Author’s note: One has to wonder how the child could have asked such a question. Were there so many “tak- ers” back in the ’70s when this was asked? Hopefully, it was the parents who posed it as a theoretical ques- tion.] Regarding the laws of mekach ta’us (erroneous sale), if someone sold a house with a faulty boiler and the purchaser was unaware of it, the sale is still valid. The reason is that there is no ona’ah in regard to landed prop- erties. It is, however, forbidden to knowingly mislead a buyer in such a situation (p. 86). It is permitted to call the police to report a thief who is Jewish, and there is no halachic issue of mesirah. For it is impossible to allow the state to become completely lawless (p. 91). • • • All in all, both volumes are extremely fascinating works. The reader will not regret purchasing them. 

The author can be reached at [email protected]. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 51 News From The Hills BY CHANITA TEITZ

A new prince is born. The press has been staking out the hospital in Lon- don for days and the British are very excited. A new heir to the throne, but I wonder how old he will be before he sits on it as king. I remember as a little girl I was enchanted with princes and prin- cesses. Especially since I grew up along with Prince Charles and Prin- cess Anne. And I remember asking my mother why we, the Jews, don’t have princesses. (I didn’t know what a JAP was then.) My mother, though, explained to me not only that we are all children of the King but that once, long ago, the Jewish nation had real princes and princesses, kings and queens. And we had a beautiful palace for the main King, Hashem, called the Beis HaMikdash. So I had nothing to envy. We were Jewish royalty. Jewish royalty, though, is not judged by riches or power. We do not have fi gureheads. Our royalty is judged by our devotion to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and the Torah. The cream of the crop among us are our scholars and lead- ers. And unlike Henry VIII, our Kings of old were not above G-d. They, like their subjects, kept the same Torah and mitzvos.

Long ago, the Jewish nation had real princes and princesses, kings and queens.

This baby will grow up in a tech- nological world, but will it also be a nuclear one? Will he be raised with tolerance for all without deferring to racists, terrorists, or dictators? I wish the little guy well and hope that long before he grows up to be king, the world will recognize the real King, Hashem Echad U’Shmo Echad! Past Events The Annual Chazaq Tishah B’Av Torah Marathon. This past Tishah B’Av (July 15–16), over a thousand peo- ple attended the one-of-a-kind inspi- rational Tishah B’Av Torah Marathon that took place at the Beth Gavriel Center in Queens. The event was pre- sented by the Chazaq organization in conjunction with Emet College Out- reach and TorahAnytime.com, which also streamed the entire event live. The program included a video pre- sentation of R’ Zecharia Wallerstein (founder of Ohr Naava) along with live lectures by R’ Yossi Mizrachi (director of Divine Information), R’ Benzion 52 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES ture in its annual summer Shabbos Mazal Tov . . . afternoon lecture series. Rabbi Daniel To Gitle Bekelnitzky on the mar- Rapp, Associate Dean, Irving I. Stone riage of her granddaughter. Beit Midrash Program at Yeshiva Uni- To Moishe and Shiffy Goldberger versity, will speak on the topic “An on the birth of a son. Mazal tov to Explanation of the Jewish Calendar.” grandparents David and Aurora Gold- All men and women are invited. The berger and Rabbi and Mrs. Yisroel lecture will take place in the Bais Yitzchak Niman of Miami. Mazal tov Medrash of the Youth Building, 150-05 to great-grandparents Rabbi and Mrs. 70th Road, Kew Gardens Hills. Niman of KGH and Rabbi and Mrs. On July 29, at 6:00 p.m., the Queens Zabari of Eretz Yisrael.  Jewish Community Council and the New York City Food Bank will hold Chanita Teitz is a real-estate broker at Astor a Queens Borough President Candi- Brokerage, with offi ces in Kew Gardens Hills and Fresh Meadows. For all your real-estate dates Forum at the Young Israel of needs in Queens, call her at 718-263-4500 or Kew Gardens Hills. This extraordi- e-mail [email protected]. nary event, engineered by the QJCC, is of enormous signifi cance to us. The successful candidate will replace our current borough president, Helen Marshall, who has been an outstand- Catch up ing supporter of our community and At the Chazaq Tishah B’Av program neighborhood. It is, therefore, imper- ative that we establish our political Klatzko (founder of Shabbat.com), Maryland), and R’ Igal Haimoff (rosh clout by attending this event. Please on the R’ Israel Itshakov (rabbi of the Beth yeshiva of Yeshiva Ohel Simcha). make every effort to do so with your Gavriel Youth Minyan), R’ Ben Tzion Aside from the impressive sched- family and friends. We must demon- Shafi er (director of the Shmuz), R’ Ilan ule of renowned rabbis and speakers, strate to them that they should be Meirov (founder of Chazaq), R’ Yitz- the world-famous Kaliver Rebbe was culling favorites with us. To RSVP, latest chok Oelbaum (son of the renowned available throughout the day, giving or for more information, visit www. Rav Noach Isaac Oelbaum), R’ Akiva out blessings and advice to all attend- foodbanknyc.org/forum or call 212-566- Rutenberg (director of Emet College ees. The program also offered a free 7855, ext. 8364. Outreach), R’ Label Lam (menahel of sha’atnez checking. The entire event Free weekly summer shiur for breaking Yeshiva Sharei Zion), R’ Avraham Nis- was dedicated by the Nazaroff family women. On Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m., sianian (rabbi of Congregation Shaare in memory of their mother, Esther bat Rabbi Zvi Lew, a very popular teacher Tova), R’ Mordechai Kraft (co-direc- Sara. from YUHS for Girls (Central), delivers tor of Emet College Outreach), R’ a weekly shiur for women in hilchot news at Daniel Gladstein (rabbi of Congre- Upcoming Events berachot. This lecture series is free gation Toras Emes), R’ Moshe Bam- On Shabbos afternoon July 27, at and open to all women and is held at berger (mashgiach of Landers Col- 5:30 p.m., the Young Israel of Kew Gar- Congregation Etz Chaim of Kew Gar- www.5TJT.com lege), R’ Dovid Lefkowitz (rabbi from dens Hills will present the sixth lec- dens Hills, 147-19 73rd Avenue.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 53 Satmar Yahrzeit Gathering Machberes: Inside The Chassidish And Yeshivish World

BY RABBI GERSHON TANNENBAUM

The city of Satmar is in northeast Romania, eight miles east of the Hungar- ian border. The fi rst recorded Jewish pres- ence there is in 1623. Jews were expelled from the Satmar region in 1715 and returned in the 1820s. The fi rst kehilla was established in 1849 and the fi rst shul was built in 1857. After the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Empire in 1918, Satmar was annexed by Romania. In 1940, Satmar reverted to Hungary. After World War II, Satmar was under Communist rule until the 1989 Romanian revolution. In 2011, Satmar’s population was The two Satmar Rebbes 102,400, with only 34 Jews. In 1941, the Jew- ish population was 12,960, representing 25 of the Divrei Yoel. On Friday, August 2, the be dressed appropriately, with proper percent. In May of 1944, 18,863 Jews were 26th of Av, Satmar chassidim will mark head coverings. deported from the Satmar area to Aus- The Divrei Yoel, zt’l the 34th yahrzeit of the Divrei Yoel. On Visitors are requested to not block the chwitz by the Nazis, of whom 14,440 were that Friday, and on the preceding eve- thoroughfare by stopping to recite Tehil- murdered. After World War II, some sur- in 1905. In 1911, he was appointed as Rav ning after 7:00 p.m., only men will be per- lim or any other lengthy prayers. No vivors returned to Satmar, but they were of Orshava in , and in 1925, he mitted into the Kiryas Yoel cemetery. On tables for solicitation, sales of seforim, not welcomed and their stay was brief. assumed the rabbinate of Krula, on the Thursday, August 1, the cemetery will be or collections of charity are permitted Rabbi Yoel Teitelbaum, zt’l (1886–1979), Romanian-Hungarian border. open exclusively for ladies from 5:00 a.m. within the ohel or anywhere inside the author of Divrei Yoel, was elected Rav of During , the Divrei Yoel to 7:00 p.m. cemetery gates. Permission from the Satmar in 1934. In his earlier years, his was in Bergen-Belsen. Miraculously, he Kohanim are warned that entry to is needed for position- mother foresaw that his strong person- was included on the Kastner train that the ohel for them is possible only ing any table or station outside the gates. ality would generate a following and released 1,684 Jews from the bloody fangs through the upper gate, near the The use of any loudspeaker system is pro- eclipse his older brother, Rabbi Chaim of the Nazis to Switzerland in 1944. From yeshiva. The lower gate pathway is too hibited. Zvi Teitelbaum, zt’l (1880–1925), Sigeter there, he went to Jerusalem. Arriving narrow for kohanim to use, thus pre- Rav and author of Atzei Chaim, who had in the United States 1947, he rebuilt his cluding their entry through the cem- Two Halves Of Satmar succeeded their father, Rabbi Chanania chassidic following. etery itself. In order to prevent mix- After the passing of Rabbi Moshe Yom Tov Lipa Teitelbaum, zt’l (1836–1904), ing, the upper gate is restricted to men Teitelbaum, zt’l (1914–2006), who suc- Sigeter Rav and author of Kedushas Yom Yahrzeit Gathering only all year long. Ladies are permit- ceeded the Divrei Yoel, the previously Tov. She sent him to Satmar, where he One of the most visited Jewish holy ted entry into the cemetery through established a beis medrash and yeshiva places in the United States is the gravesite the lower gate. Ladies are requested to Continued on Page 58

54 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Up Close With Jenny Milchman, got a book, I got a latte. (Sometimes I got a book, too, but as a mom of two Author Of “Cover Of Snow” little ones, my reading couldn’t keep pace!) BY ROCHELLE MARUCH MILLER ple and trying to help them. Some- I began seeing for the fi rst time what times the form that help took was a resource bookstores are for kids. It’s Waking up one wintry morning “just” connecting on a human level— not only about the reading—it’s about in her old farmhouse nestled in the which might be the greatest thing all the investment that comes when you Adirondack Mountains of New York, of us need. select a book and it becomes yours for- Nora Hamilton is instantly aware that But the siren’s call of writing never ever. Some of the books I got at book- something is terribly wrong. Her fog of entirely ceased, and one day, when a stores as a child are still favorites of sleep clears and she fi nds her world is particularly intense case was keeping mine today. And I saw my kids doing suddenly, irretrievably shattered. me up at night, I sat down and began the same thing, reading books they Cover of Snow is a darkly atmo- to write what would turn out to be my were lucky enough to get to take home spheric fi rst novel that challenges all fi rst novel. And I realized that although over and over again, until the stories sorts of romantic notions we might I’d dabbled in poetry and Victorian-es- began to mean something different harbor about small towns and the peo- que prose when I was in school, what to them as they entered new stages of ple we think we know. Absorbing from I really loved to read was suspense. life. start to fi nish, Jenny Milchman’s work And that’s what my fi rst novel was, and There’s also something about an is a deeply felt and suspenseful story what I’ve been writing ever since. I miss interaction with booksellers—people of a woman whose life is suspended psychology sometimes, and I hope that whose life and passion is books, folks by a death and a dark secret. Reading my stories might serve the same func- who are willing to zig while others Cover of Snow is heart-pounding, exhil- tion—a human connection between that tumultuous time. And the books are zagging, so important is the work arating, and exciting. writer and reader, a way to leave behind that concern me now have children in that they do. Bookstores are a cultural In this candid interview, author the problems that fi ll everyday life, them, children at risk, parents in need. resource in which we have to invest. Jenny Milchman tells all. even just for the span of the book. Becoming a mother has opened up a Take Your Child to a Bookstore Day RMM: How does your professional RMM: Anyone who has read your whole other world of fear and con- is a celebration of a return to Main background as a psychotherapist infl u- short stories knows you write a lot about cern, and ultimately, I think I write Street, and entails giving a child the ence your writing? families. Has your writing changed about what could go wrong if the uni- tactile, interpersonal, and physical JM: In some ways, it started me writ- since starting your own family? verse were shifted just a bit, if the axis experience of being in a bookstore. My ing. I always wanted to be a writer, JM: Yes. The idea for Cover of Snow dipped down between the line here goal as an author is to both strengthen but writing isn’t a path that has a clear came to me when I was going through and there. the connections I have built from afar career focus or known way to follow it. the fi rst rough patch my marriage had RMM: Your passion for books goes far and to put into practice a return to When I was a sophomore in college, my ever hit—not rough like what Nora beyond your own writing and reading. face-to-face real-time interactions, get- parents pointed out that my “plan” of goes through, but enough to get me Tell us about “Take Your Child to a Book- ting out there and meeting readers, living in a log cabin in the woods pen- thinking about how we need to be store Day” and why you started the hol- and the booksellers who keep us all ning poetry might leave me a little . . . there for each other even when things iday. engaged in a lifelong conversation. cold and hungry. So I decided to pursue aren’t perfect. That’s a lesson I think JM: Take Your Kids to a Bookstore RMM: What do you predict for the graduate work in psychology, which every marriage has to teach. It took me Day began when my own kids were future of bookstores? had always been an interest of mine. years after that to be able to write this small and we were going to story hour I loved psych—getting to know peo- book properly, but it was born out of at the bookstore every week. The kids Continued on Page 57

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 55 56 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Milchman Continued from Page 55

JM: My fi rst answer is that people who predict the future usually end up being wrong. (Although I did predict that cupcakes were going to become a trend. I was all over that one!) I can say that the bookstores we’ve seen, in small towns, on dusty street corners, and in bustling cities alike, are thriv- ing, counter to the armchair reports I often hear. Just last night I went to a panel and the author said, “Paper is dying,” and I thought, “Well, don’t tell that to the lines of customers we’re seeing in bookstores.” Any prediction I make is as sub- jective and vulnerable to bias as any other, but I think that bookstores fi ll a unique role. They can be both a com- munity gathering place and a source of entertainment. It’s as cheap to go to an author signing as to a movie—and a whole lot more lasting. You can start a collection of signed books that might be worth money some day. And have fun while you’re doing it.

Bookstores TALKINE with are a cultural TCN ZEV BRENNER resource in America’s leading Jewish radio & TV program for over 3 decades which we have to invest. More informative than

We have at our fi ngertips now an unprecedented wealth of resources. The whole world lives on one machine, a trip to the mikva and I hope we never lose these riches. Social media has enabled me as an author to meet readers and writers all over the world. At the same time, there is a great “Intelligent deal of collected wisdom in our his- talk radio” tory, and I believe that we turn away Alan Dershowitz from it at our own peril. We need to “A heckck of a nurture in kids a deep engagement good show” Ed Koch with text, minus any distractions, and we need to show them a world where every store has its own unique iden- “I’m watching the tity. Research is now showing that read- Zev Brenner show”ow” ing on screen limits retention and cog- Jackie Mason nition in both children and adults. Focused engagement with text pro- duces a type of thought that doesn’t come with devices. While technolog- ical profi ciency is important, I think Saturday Night 12 Midnight-2 AM WMCA 570 AM we do away with traditional methods Radio Mon-Thurs 9-10 PM WSNR 620 AM of learning and reading at our own Sunday 11 PM-Midnight WRNN Ch. 48 Metro NY (Cablevision Ch. 19 (LI Ch. 48), Time Warner Ch. 91, peril—we simply don’t know enough RCN Ch. 16, Direct TV Ch. 62, Dish TV Ch. 8116) about the long-term effects of using Sunday 9-10 PM, 11 PM-Midnight, 1-2 AM JLTV Nationwide (Time Warner NY Ch. 120, Time Warner S. CA (incl. LA) Ch. 177, Direct TV Ch. 36, newer methods. Comcast Cable of S. Florida Ch. 239 So I think the jury is out, but as a TV Sunday 9-10 AM & 3-4 PM Time Warner Manhattan Ch. 35 parent, I am fi guring that it will always Friday 11AM-12 Noon Time Warner Manhattan Catch more be possible for kids to pick up the lat- TCN Ch. 35 est app—they’re called user-friendly programming for a reason. But layering in the deep conversations that allow for inner Weeknights...... 7 PM - 1 AM Friday ...... 8 AM-12 noon Listen online anytime: www.talklinecommunications.com resources and intensity of focus are on Time Warner Man. harder to build. I want to give my kids Saturday ...... 10 PM -3 AM www.Facebook.com/pages/Talkline-with-Zev-Brenner www.Twitter.com/TalkLineNetwork time for that.  Sunday: ...... 2-5 PM

Cover of Snow is published by Ballentine/ To advertise on Talkline with Zev Brenner, contact us at 212-769-1925, 866-JEWISH RADIO Random House; June 2012 or e-mail [email protected] 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 57 Machberes Boro Park, Monsey, Kiryas Yoel, ohel there remains the nucleus the 21st of Kislev, Satmar cele- of the Divrei Yoel’s widow, Reb- Continued from Page 54 Lakewood, and elsewhere. of the cemetery. Rabbi Zalman brated the escape of the Divrei betzin Alta Feiga Teitelbaum, a’h Rabbi Zalman Leib occupies Leib’s followers have estab- Yoel from the Nazis in 1944. The (1912–2001), the burial chamber monolithic Satmar community the pulpit originally established lished an adjoining cemetery seudos mitzvah, commemorat- also contains the Beirach Moshe, effectively was broken in two. in Williamsburg by the Divrei in Kiryas Yoel. A recent decision ing the event with as many as whose yahrzeit is on the 26th of Rabbi Aaron Teitelbaum and Yoel upon his arrival in Amer- in the ongoing battles in secu- 30,000 participants, were held Nissan. Rebbetzin Alta Feiga’s Rabbi Zalman Leib Teitelbaum ica in 1947. The successor to lar courts directed the parties to in gigantic facilities such as the yahrzeit is on the 11th of Sivan. lead the two halves of Sat- that pulpit upon the passing of resolve their differences in beis Jacob J. Javits Center and the Rebbetzin Pessel Leah Teitel- mar, each half being indepen- the Divrei Yoel was his nephew, din. In the last few weeks, a per- Williamsburg Armory. When baum, a’h (1922–2010), Satmar dent and immense on its own. Rabbi Moshe Teitelbaum, zt’l mit was granted to the followers the 21 Kislev event was held at Rebbetzin of the Beirach Moshe, Rabbi Aaron occupies the pul- (1914–2006), author of Beirach of Rabbi Zalman Leib to proceed the Javits Center, chassidim were who passed away on 23 Tam- pit in Kiryas Yoel that his ven- Moshe. Rabbi Zalman Leib’s fol- with construction on the frame- ferried by boat from Williams- muz, July 5, 2010, is buried along- erated great-uncle, the Divrei lowing in Kiryas Yoel, too, is con- work structure of the disputed burg up the Hudson River to the side her husband. Yoel, founding Satmar Rebbe, siderable, and they, too, have new shul at 540 Bedford Avenue. steps of the enormous conven- During the course of the day, proudly established in the established their own grow- The permit was contested and tion facility. thousands of people will pass 1970s. In addition to Kiryas Yoel, ing school system and string of canceled, conforming to previ- Another important day on the through the ohel. Many shed followers of Rabbi Aaron main- shuls there. ous court rulings directing reso- Satmar calendar is the yahrzeit tears in earnest prayer, beseech- tain an expanding and entirely With the 2009 clarifi cation in lution through a beis din. of the Divrei Yoel. Considerably ing the Rebbe to intercede on separate school system and a New York State Court of the con- In the years when the entire more than 100,000 Jews con- their behalf for good health, string of shuls in Williamsburg trol of the cemetery in Kiryas Satmar community was united verge during the summer yahr- good shidduchim, or good live- that function magnifi cently Yoel being vested with Rabbi under one leadership, two cal- zeit and pray in the ohel where lihood, for themselves and their under his leadership. Both Reb- Aaron, the original cemetery has endar dates demonstrated the the Divrei Yoel is buried. In addi- loved ones. Many deposit care- bes have large followings in more than doubled in size. The size and the glory of Satmar. On tion to containing the gravesite fully written kvitlech (petition requests). In the good old days of Sat- mar’s unity, the Beirach Moshe held the yahrzeit tisch in the huge main shul of Kiryas Yoel. When the schism between the brothers began to develop in 1999, while the father was still alive, the Beirach Moshe con- ducted the yahrzeit tisch late afternoon near his summer res- idence in Swan Lake, after vis- iting the ohel during the day. Rabbi Aaron, the older son and then Kiryas Yoel Rav, con- ducted his yahrzeit tisch in the main shul of Kiryas Yoel. After the Beirach Moshe passed away, the yahrzeit tisch continued to be conducted separately by the two sons in the two separate locations. This year’s schedule will con- form to that of 2010, when the yahrzeit was also on a Friday. On Friday morning, the day of the yahrzeit, Rabbi Aaron will daven Shacharis in the yeshiva adja- cent to the cemetery. He will conduct a l’chayim tisch immedi- ately after Shacharis for the stu- dents of the yeshiva as well as for the huge crowd that will join on the special day. Rabbi Aaron will deliver divrei Torah and then, together with the entire assem- bly, visit the gravesite. The seu- das yahrzeit will be conducted in the main shul in Kiryas Yoel on the preceding Thursday eve- ning, beginning at 7:00 p.m. Rabbi Zalman Leib will con- duct the seudas yahrzeit in the Vayoel Moshe Hall on Lar- kin Drive in Kiryas Yoel. At the very end of the meal, Rabbi Zal- man Leib will, together with the entire assembly, visit the gravesite at approximately 1:00 a.m. Rabbi Zalman Leib will remain in Kiryas Yoel to conduct tefi llos and tisch for Shabbos Parashas Re’eh, August 2–3, at the Vayoel Moshe shul and remain until Wednesday, August 7. 

Rabbi Gershon Tannenbaum is the Rav of B’nai Israel of Linden Heights in Boro Park and Director of the Rabbinical Alliance of America. Rabbi Tannenbaum can be contacted at [email protected]. 58 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES diffi culty in school. One-to-one or in to profi ciency in a subject, thus, from AROUND THE small groups, preferably with parents the basics of reading, writing, and arith- present, the child learns that he or she metic to the complexities of Hebrew, has defi ned problems that are not his history, and the sciences, P’TACH offers FIVE TOWNS or her fault, and that these problems personalized expertise and commit- have names and solutions. It is empow- ment in the academic arena. ering for children to know the exact Equally important, P’TACH is dedi- terms that describe their strengths and cated to success in the personal and weaknesses. Demystifi cation provides social realms. We build self-confi dence High Art Comes Upstate, What is all this communication sup- guidelines for parents and educators to through information, caring, and rein- August 1-4 posed to accomplish? become effective communicators with forcing the positive. Teachers become Never in our people’s history have First, the feeling—and the reality— their children and students. partners with children and parents in there been so many exciting oppor- of working as a team. When purpose One of the key things that distin- the growth process. At the root of this tunities to collect Jewish art as there and responsibility are shared, hope and guishes P’TACH from other programs is alliance is the free fl ow of communica- are now. Thanks to Iconic Auction and expectations are high and more likely its structure. P’TACH is a center-based tion between them. other companies, collectors have gained to be met. program that provides a comprehen- We welcome your participation. access to a rich treasury of paintings and Second, greater understanding of the sive team of education professionals, Whether you are a parent or you are images that bring joy and weave his- children and the challenges they face including a program coordinator, read- considering a donation, our doors are torical narrative into our visual world. help all those who have an interest in ing specialist, and psychologist, at each always open and we are just a phone This summer, Iconic is pleased to pres- their successful education. A key part of its locations. call away. ent a spectacular collection of works by of that understanding is “demystifi ca- Working together, the staff provides To fi nd out if P’TACH can help your Israeli and Jewish artists both classic tion”—taking learning differences out a full array of services for children son or daughter succeed in school, con- and contemporary. The subject matter of the realm of misinformation and with learning differences. The team tact Dr. Weller, educational director of ranges from portraits of important rab- fear and bringing them into the light is uniquely positioned to know each P’TACH and a recognized expert on spe- bis and scenes of talmidim learning por- of day. child and to provide a foundation for cial education issues, at 718-854- 8600 or trayed by Eastern European artists to Demystifi cation is a process whereby a successful Jewish and secular educa- [email protected].  modern scenes of Jewish life by Israeli an educator or clinician explains to the tion. For example, students in different painters such as Shmuel Charuvi, Zvi child the reasons he or she is having grades are effectively grouped according Continued on Page 60 Malnovitzer, Zvi Raphaeli, and Huvy. Additionally, Iconic Auction is honored to include in its sale works from several important international Jewish artists such as Marc Chagall, Emmanuel Mané Katz, and Issachar Ber Ryback. Several avant garde modern works are also represented in the sale, refl ecting the innovative Jewish spirit. Iconic Auc- tion is most excited to feature a group of works by the noted artist Ben Zion (Weinman), a member of “The Group of Ten” which included other important artists such as Mark Rothko and Adolph Gottlieb. Ben Zion’s work can be found in the Museum of Modern Art and has been featured at the Jewish Museum in New York. A live auction will be held at noon on Sunday, August 4 at the Sullivan Hotel, 283 Rock Hill Drive, Rock Hill, NY, Exit 109 on Route 17. The auction preview dates are Thurs- day, August 1, 5:00–9:00 p.m., Friday August 2, 1:00–4:00 p.m. with the gala reception taking place on August 3 after havdalah until 2:00 a.m. The gala reception is sure to be the event of the summer. Come meet the auctioneers while indulging in a delec- table wine and cheese spread accompa- nied by discussions and introductions.  The Key To Helping Our Children Is Communication By Dr. Judah Weller, Educational Director of P’TACH Educators, parents, specialists, and administrators can help children rise above their learning challenges by com- municating honestly and construc- tively. Being honest means not to deny or minimize a problem, but to view it realistically as part of a larger picture. Being constructive means becoming educated and using the proper tools to deal with a problem. Sharing ideas and knowledge, we meet, talk by phone and e-mail, keeping the lines of communication open. Com- munication with mainstream teach- ers and support of mainstream classes is built in to the program as well. Most important, we build resilient children through open and honest communica- tion with the children themselves. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 59 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS ter real estate lawyers in the region. Continued from Page 59 In recognition of his knowledge and contributions to the real estate indus- Congratulations try, Governor Pataki named Mr. Wein- To Cedarhurst Deputy stock to the prestigious New York Mayor Benjamin Weinstock State Real Estate Board, where he was Mayor Andrew J. Parise and the elected secretary, serving for seven board of trustees—Ronald Lanzi- terms. lotta, Ari Brown, and Myrna Zis- man—are proud to announce Deputy Halfway Through Concert Mayor Benjamin Weinstock has been Schedule At Andrew J. elected chair of the real property sec- Parise Park tion of the New York State Bar Associ- Award-winning DiDi Maxx put on ation. Weinstock, a highly accredited an outstanding preshow for the audi- real estate attorney, is the fi rst Long ence at the annual Tuesday night con- Island practitioner to hold this state- cert at Andrew J. Parise Park in Cedar- wide post. The 4,263-member section hurst. Children of all ages surrounded is among the largest and most active DiDi Maxx while she entertained sections in the New York State Bar with her exciting fusion of illusion Association. and comedy. This outstanding per- Benjamin Weinstock is also a part- formance was a great opening for the ner at Ruskin Moscou Faltischek, one and only JC Revue. where he is co-chair of the fi rm’s real JC Revue is a vocalist, songwriter, estate department. In a career span- and producer from Long Island, Jay- ning three decades, Mr. Weinstock has Cee Driesen—known amongst fol- handled real estate transactions from lowers simply as “JayCee”—has enter- the basic to the highly complex. His tained audiences nationally. Her bold knowledge and skill place him among L–R: Trustee Ari Brown, Trustee Ronald Lanzilotta, Mayor Andrew J. Parise, Deputy Mayor signature voice embraces the true the most respected and sought-af- Benjamin Weinstock, and Trustee Myrna Zisman effervescence of America’s rich musi- cal past, with the youthful freshness of the present as she captivates an audience whether she is performing classic standards, hit Broadway show tunes, mid and up tempos, contempo- rary favorites, or her own originals. Mayor Andrew J. Parise and the board of trustees personally want to thank the sponsors for making this concert something to remember. TD Bank, Ritetime Grocery, Maria’s Yummy Ice Cream & Family, Bagelry, Bobby’s Blue Ribbon, Cardiacare Exercise Institute & Rehab, Spitz & Peck Florists, and Minuteman Press of Hewlett. On July 30, Vegas will be arriving in Cedar- hurst with the incredible duo “Sis- ter Act” with a preshow by The Magic of Amore. Everyone is also invited to come and enjoy the playground and water park. For more information, please call 516-295-5770, or visit cedar- hurst.gov. Also follow on twitter twit- ter.com/ourcedarhurst and on Face- book facebook.com/ourcedarhurst. 

Thus I fell down before G-d forty days and forty nights . . . because G-d had said He would destroy you (Devarim 9:25) There was not a corner of the heavens with which Moshe did not grapple to attain G-d’s forgiveness of Israel . . . When Israel committed that act, Moshe arose to appease G-d and said: “Master of the Universe! They have given You an assistant, and You are annoyed with them? Why, this calf which they have made will be Your assistant: You will cause the sun to rise while it will cause the moon to rise; You will look after the stars and it will see to the constellations; You will cause the dew to descend and it will cause the winds to blow; You will make the rains come down, while it will be responsible for the growth of plants.” Said G-d to him: “Moshe! You err as they do! For there is nothing real in it.” Said Moshe: “If this be the case, why should Your wrath burn against Your people?” (Midrash Rabbah)

60 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 61 Teaneck, Bergenfi eld, Englewood, Fair Once all the buses arrived at Bear Community News Lawn, Paramus, Tenafl y, New Milford, Mountain, the residents all enjoyed and Fort Lee. He will seek to introduce a fun and relaxing day in the sun and From Around The World Ohel’s services to the community and fresh air. A delicious picnic lunch was will identify needs that the community served and participants played sports Ohel News housing opportunities for people with may have that Ohel can address. In addi- including games of basketball and soft- Successful Opening of New Supported mental illness. tion, Rabbi Donath is an accomplished ball. Ohel’s Yitz Elman commented that Living Apartments. To accommodate The men and women who made the speaker and teacher and has drawn rave “the day provides a unique and infor- the growing needs of the community, move to these beautiful new apart- reviews in the short 18 months he has mal atmosphere where individuals both Ohel recently opened new apartments ments were very pleased with the tran- been living in Bergen County. socialize with one another and with in Brooklyn for individuals with a men- sition, and after just a few weeks, they Simcha Feuerman, Ohel’s Lifetime the staff.” In addition to the sports and tal illness. All of these residents came already love their new neighborhood Care Foundation Director, said, “Rabbi activities, there was also hiking in the from more supervised government and lifestyle. Donath has a keen interest and insight beautiful, scenic trails of Bear Moun- housing programs, which were based Marc Katz, the director of Ohel Access, into the social concerns that affect tain. on a transitional housing model. The said, “Overall, these moments motivate the families and children in this com- It was a fun and exciting day and expected stay in these programs is 18–24 us to further enhance and expedite the munity, and he is a superb partner in rejuvenating to be in the fresh coun- months, after which they graduate to everyday growth of our new housing expanding on Ohel’s important work.” try air. permanent housing, which is what program.” Ohel provides, along with comprehen- Rabbi Jeremy Donath Joins Bergen sive therapeutic services as part of the County Team. Ohel Children’s Home personal recovery process. and Family Services is proud to wel-

Barbecue at Bear Mountain Individuals Managing Mental Illness Rabbi Soloveitchik Brightens Up Rabbi Donath in Bergen County Enjoy Retreat to Bear Mountain State OHEL. This past rosh chodesh, as on Supported housing is a type of perma- come Rabbi Jeremy Donath to their fam- Park. On June 12, a large group of adult every rosh chodesh, Ohel Bais Ezra’s East nent housing model, which helps resi- ily, as Ohel’s fi rst Bergen County Com- men and women from Ohel’s residen- 26th St. residence was fi lled with pride dents further integrate into the com- munity Coordinator. Rabbi Donath lives tial and psychiatric programs traveled and joy as they opened their doors to munity and engage in both wellness in Fair Lawn with his wife, Shira, and is to Bear Mountain State Park for what Rabbi Simcha Soloveitchik, who came and recovery. This process all starts the rav of Congregation Darchei Noam. has become an annual picnic and barbe- for his monthly visit. with Ohel’s stable and affordable hous- He is a member of the RCBC and he is a cue. Three coach buses full of over 150 ing program, as people do not want to teacher and rabbi at TABC in Teaneck. residents and staff went up to the park, move each time they make progress A native of Minneapolis and a grad- including residents and participants of in their rehabilitation. In recognition uate of YU, he will connect Ohel with Ohel’s Kadimah Clubhouse, Fort Ham- of these needs, Ohel’s new supported all the local schools and shuls of the ilton residence, 41st St. residence, and housing program increased permanent “Eight Towns” of Bergen County— Ohel’s supported housing programs.

Rabbi Soloveitchik at Bais Ezra

Ohel Bais Ezra’s East 26th Street resi- dence was opened on March 31, 1996. It is home to 11 men, and there is 24-hour supervision. Each of the men is diag- nosed with various developmental dis- abilities, as well as other medical and psychiatric disabilities. Four years ago, Rabbi Soloveitchik came to the residence to visit a fam- ily friend, however all the individuals deeply enjoyed his discussions on the parashah and the singing of zemiros. His visits turned into regular, monthly events, which are set up and coordi- nated with the staff of the residence. These visits are timed to occur on rosh chodesh as a truly special treat for the men and staff who reside at the home. Moshe Gaffney, who lives at the resi- dence, said of the monthly visits, “One thing we know about Rabbi Soloveit- 62 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES TRAVEL SECTION chik is when he comes and discusses of us was created by Hashem with L.A. and has already fi nished the fi rst ries of inspiration with regard to using Jewish ideas, and his discussions of the power to create—to change some- three masechtas of Shas! their power of words. In addition to reg- Torah go around our residence, how one’s life—and we don’t do it because The second story was about Jack Sam- ular callers, the show also included calls deeply we enjoy from the bottom of our we don’t know we can.” The ability to uel, a real estate agent in Toronto, who from Rabbi Menachem Zupnick of Pas- hearts when he comes and enhances change lives, he explained, was with the was introduced to Yiddishkeit by a frum saic, as well as Rabbi Yerachmiel Mil- our Yiddishkeit.” power of speech. client of his many years back. After stein and Rabbi Chaim Sampson of Proj- For more information about Ohel and He continued to share two inspi- Rabbi Shlomo Cheyn agreed to sign on ect Inspire. One caller had attended the their many services from which you can rational stories showing how some- the property that Jack had shown him, fi lming of one segment of the movie benefi t, please contact 800-603-OHEL, one’s life was indelibly changed from he produced a contract of his own. The and reported that after hearing Mr. [email protected], or visit www. just a few short words. The fi rst story contract stated that in return for pur- Harary’s words he was inspired to invite ohelfamily.org.  was about Danny Dangoor—a kosher chasing the property, Jack had to agree a non-frum family over for Shabbos. “I chef from Los Angeles, whose life was to come to the Cheyn’s new home for realized that you really don’t have to Rebuilding The changed when he remembered that Shabbos and attend two kiruv classes. be a gadol to use your words to impact Beis HaMikdash, someone once told him that “Hashem “I’m willing to sign your contract if you someone’s life,” he said. One Word At A Time has his back.” sign mine,” he said to Jack. Jack agreed At the end of the fi lm, Mr. Harary By Gavriel Horan When a job interview in New Jersey and within no time he took off to attend challenged the viewers to take one Tishah B’Av is a time to mourn the took a turn for the worse last summer, yeshiva and was on the road to building minute to build one relationship with destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, but he remembered the phrase and began to his own Torah-observant family. Rabbi another Jew who is estranged from Yid- it is also a time to focus on rebuilding it. think about what good could possibly Cheyn eventually taught two of his chil- dishkeit. We could change the world! In For the fi fth year in a row, tens of thou- come out of having traveled all the way dren in yeshiva! response, hundreds of people registered sands of people in over 100 frum com- to New Jersey from L.A. for nothing. Just “These stories show how easy it is to to be paired up with one-on-one learn- munities across North America and the then he recalled that someone had men- change someone’s life forever,” Project ing partners. By next Tishah B’Av there world left Tishah B’Av with a message tioned that there was a big Jewish event Inspire’s managing director and the fi lm may be countless Jews who are closer to they will never forget. Project Inspire’s going on that day in New Jersey. He was producer, Yossie Friedman, said. “That’s Hashem because of their efforts. They fi fth annual Tishah B’Av fi lm, “Just a slowly getting more involved with Juda- the message of Project Inspire: reach- are helping to rebuild the Beis HaMik- Word” offered a powerful solution to ism and decided to fi nd out where it ing out is simple—you just have to care dash—one word at a time. May we all speed up the geulah—one word at a was. A quick phone call revealed that it enough to do it. It just takes going a lit- merit to see it completed, speedily and time. was just a short train ride away. Soon tle out of our comfort zones and realiz- in our days. The fi lm began with inspirational he found himself at the siyum haShas in ing that what we say can change peo- To view “Just a Word,” visit www. words from Rav Dovid Weinberger of Met Life Stadium. Although he felt out ple’s lives.” kiruv.com. To learn more about how you Shaaray Tefi la in Lawrence and was of place with his long hair in the sea As Tishah B’Av came to an end, Proj- can get involved in Project Inspire con- hosted by the renowned speaker Char- of black and white, his neshamah was ect Inspire broadcast a live program on tact 646-291-6191 or info@projectinspire. lie Harary. inspired to begin learning Gemara for Nachum Siegel’s radio show hosted by com.  “Each and every one of us is sitting on the fi rst time in his life. Today he learns Mr. Harary. People who watched the fi lm a power plant,” Mr. Harary said. “Each the daf every day with a ba’al habos in were asked to call in and tell their sto- Continued on Page 67

TRAVEL SECTION 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 63 Conquering Acrophobia No-Pills Anxiety Buster BY DR. DAVID H. ROSMARIN

All phobias involve marked and phobias is called “exposure therapy.” persistent fear or avoidance of spe- In a nutshell, the patient builds a cific objects or situations. Common rank-ordered list of situations in focal points include spiders, dogs, which he or she will experience anx- enclosed spaces, darkness, thunder- iety and fear, and then “exposes” storms, flying, spiders, snakes, injec- himself or herself to each of them tions, dentists, and—you guessed one-by-one until the anxiety sub- it—heights. sides. No truly dangerous situations Like other phobias, acrophobia are ever faced—we don’t dangle peo- often causes limited impairment. ple outside a high-floor window by a Phobic individuals generally func- rope! We might challenge a patient tion very well day-to-day and are to press their face up against the highly accomplished. What’s their glass of a skyscraper window. Expo- trick? They find ways to avoid facing sure therapy teaches the patient their fears—for example, they might that their fears are not grounded in always ask for a room on a low floor reality and there is truly nothing to in a hotel, follow detours around be scared of. Heights don’t kill peo- bridges, not look out windows, avoid ple as long as you follow certain balconies, or opt for stairs instead basic rules. As Mary Baker Eddie is of elevators. However, phobias can reputed to have said, “FEAR is an limit a person’s choices in life such acronym for False Evidence Appear- as where to live or take a job, and ing Real.” they can also interfere in subtle ways Recent research has established in relationships. Occasionally, it is the efficacy of intensive exposure not possible to avoid one’s fears (e.g., programs in which specific phobias all the low-floor hotel rooms may be are treated in as little as three hours. booked) and the phobic individual is Imagine that just half of one day “stuck.” Plus, in some cases, function- could make the difference!  ing can be severely impaired. One recent patient had such severe acro- David H. Rosmarin, Ph.D., is an instructor phobia that he would drive two to in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and Director of three hours out of his way to avoid the Center for Anxiety in Manhattan, a traversing any overpasses! clinical-research facility with a focus on the The first-line treatment for acro- Jewish community. He can be reached at phobia as well as all other specific [email protected].

64 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES TRAVEL SECTION TRAVEL SECTION 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 65 66 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES TRAVEL SECTION Community News ber of his family to achieve such a dis- Continued from Page 63 tinction; his brother Yitzchak was the 2005 valedictorian of LAS and went on Joseph Reich Named to earn his M.D. degree at SUNY Down- LAS Valedictorian state Medical Center. During his speech, Joseph Reich of Brooklyn was named Joseph joked that his standing in the the 2013 valedictorian of the men’s divi- same spot as Yitzchak stood eight years sion of the Lander College of Arts & Sci- earlier was an example of “just how far ences in Flatbush (LAS) and was the I would go to upstage my dear brother.” student speaker at the Lander College Reich lives in Manhattan Beach with commencement at Avery Fisher Hall. his wife, Elisheva, and two children.  “All of us are extremely proud of Joseph Reich’s achievements and are confi dent Tri-State Awnings that he will become a respected practi- Has You Covered tioner in the fi eld of psychology,” said By Rochelle Maruch Miller Dr. Robert Goldschmidt, dean of LAS That Tri-State Awnings has built a and the vice president for planning and solid customer base spanning the fi ve assessment of Touro College. “Through boroughs, Long Island, Lakewood, his pursuit of excellence, Joseph, a true and beyond is not surprising. Since its ben Torah, is a role model for other stu- inception 13 years ago, the company has dents at our college.” Joseph Reich (right) with Dr. Alan Kadish, president and CEO of Touro earned a sterling reputation for rais- Before coming to LAS, Reich spent ing the bar in customer service, quality, several years learning in prestigious Behavioral Research in 2011, Reich was the quandary from the perspective of and integrity. “We answer to a Higher yeshivas in Queens, Jerusalem, and awarded with the Tony Guzewicz Award Orthodox in contrast to other Authority,” Mr. Lichtman, the company’s Lakewood, NJ. Based on his superb for Outstanding Cross Cultural Research cultures. president declares, a fact that is attested SAT scores he received a full academic for presenting a paper entitled “Halachic Reich is a member of Psi Chi-The to by Tri-State’s dealings on a daily basis. scholarship to attend Touro and matric- Thinking and the Trolley Dilemma.” International Honor Society in Psychol- It all began one Sukkos when Mr. ulated in 2010, majoring in psychology The Trolley Dilemma is a hypotheti- ogy. In the fall he will enroll in Pace Lichtman overheard a young man as a member of the honors program. He cal scenario commonly used by psychol- University in a psychology doctoral pro- lamenting the fact that he had pur- made dean’s list every semester on his ogists and neuroscientists to explore gram. In his address, Reich said that chased an awning for his sukkah at an way to a 4.0 grade point average and aspects of moral reasoning, in which a he is choosing a career in psychology exorbitant amount, but when service also served as the general editor and speeding train is about to run over fi ve because of his belief in the “majestic was required, there was no one to turn technology columnist of Round Table, people lying on the track. The conduc- potential of the human being.” to. The man bemoaned the lack of any the LAS student newspaper. tor has the option to switch tracks and “Too often there are people whose reputable awning company within the Under the tutelage of Prof. Leib Lit- run over just one person; participants strengths are locked up inside of them,” community. Rising to the challenge, Mr. man, Ph.D.—whom Reich thanked pro- are asked to decide if he or she would said Reich. “I can think of no higher Lichtman founded Tri-State Awnings, fusely in his valedictory address—he change tracks. Thus the participants calling than helping such individuals and therein lies the story. presented several papers and posters at can choose whether to let fi ve people unleash the awesome power that lies Among the unique aspects of the professional conferences as part of his die because of circumstances beyond within them.” business are its signature service and research in the fi eld of psychology. At the their control or be directly responsi- Though Reich graduated at the top 23rd Greater New York Conference on ble for killing another. Reich examined of his class, he was not the fi rst mem- Continued on Page 68

TRAVEL SECTION 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 67 Community News ric and awning style you choose, be winds and heavy downpours! 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish men and Continued from Page 67 assured that Tri-State stands proudly When you purchase your awning women, regardless of cancer history. In behind every product they sell. Indeed, from Tri-State Awnings, you are buying addition to the inaugural lesson, Gen- standards of excellence. “We import our they are frequently called to fi x other a high-quality product that will afford eSights also is pre-loaded with a two- fabrics from Italy and we make all of company’s mistakes! you many years of satisfaction. We, part “Genetics 101” webinar to serve as a our own designs to fi t the needs of the Mr. Lichtman is a veritable expert at together with our families, put a great genetics overview for the typical viewer heimishe community,” Mr. Lichtman fi nding solutions to problems, even to deal of love, effort, and time into pre- who may desire a baseline lesson. explains. “We double-coat both the top situations that others have described paring for Sukkos and in building and Most GeneSights lessons begin with and bottom parts of our vinyl awnings as being impossible. He and his staff decorating our sukkahs, as we do in a short public service announcement to afford maximum protection. Because will meet any challenge, orchestrating performing every mitzvah. A sukkah video of the topic, available to the gen- of the quality components we use, our the solution to perfection. From odd- awning from Tri-State will protect your eral public and featuring real people awnings roll up more easily than other shaped decks to other seemingly insur- sukkah from inclement weather.  disclosing their personal health sto- roll-up awnings on the market.” mountable obstacles, Tri-State Awnings ries. Viewers interested in learning Key to what sets Tri-State Awnings has the perfect solution. You’ll fi nd The Launch Of GeneSights more about the featured topic are then apart from the rest is the fact that they retractable awnings that will have you Jewish individuals seeking to learn directed to register on the site, for free, use their sukkah awnings and other laugh at the rain as well as expert advice about the many genetic health condi- for access to a full-length webinar pre- products. Mr. Lichtman is the defi nitive on how to maintain your awning. tions they may be at risk for can self-ed- sented by an expert in the fi eld, sup- source of all things awning-related. In Several years ago, a major hotel con- ucate at GeneSights (www.GeneSights. plemental written materials to serve as his dual capacities of both president of tacted Tri-State Awnings after Sukkos. com), a new online education resource practical next steps, and links to other Tri-State Awnings as well as a consumer The weather had been highly unsettled conceived by the Program for Jewish resources and organizations dedicated who uses his own products, he is keenly that year with a constant threat of rain. Genetic Health of Yeshiva University to the specifi c subject. Once registered, attuned to all of our needs and shares On the fi rst night of Sukkos, the table and the Albert Einstein College of Med- viewers are able to access all other Gen- our high standards for a strong, durable, had been set for all the guests in the suk- icine. GeneSights is designed to provide eSights lessons. and attractive sukkah awnings. Which kah and at the beginning of the meal, effective and accessible learning at the New lessons will appear on Gene- is precisely why their sukkah awnings it began pouring! The existing awning viewers’ convenience and to encour- Sights approximately every two months. are designed to withstand high winds, had not been purchased at Tri-State age these viewers to become active in Upcoming topics include Crohn’s dis- an important feature, considering the Awnings, and could not withstand the ensuring their own health and well-be- ease and ulcerative colitis, two condi- fact that Sukkos coincides with the hur- heavy rain and gusty winds. The meal ing. tions more prevalent in the Ashkenazi ricane season. was quickly set up in the dining room— GeneSights consists of individual Jewish population. On the technology Clearly the awnings source of choice and then the rain ceased, albeit tempo- “lessons” with topics selected based front, GeneSights will explore pre-im- of savvy shoppers, Tri-State Awnings rarily. By evening’s end, the settings and on their current relevance to the Jew- plantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), a has the perfect awning to suit your meal had been relocated several times, ish community, including specifi c dis- reproductive option for couples who lifestyle. Summertime and the living much to the chagrin of guests and staff. eases and medical conditions, genetic are identifi ed to be at increased risk for is easy—if you’d like to take refuge in The guests were drenched and the food technologies, and bioethical issues. passing a genetic condition on to their the shade and avoid harmful UV, per- ruined at a major fi nancial loss to the The site’s inaugural lesson focuses on offspring. haps an acrylic fabric might be a good hotel’s owners. The huge awning had hereditary breast and ovarian cancer “Advances in scientifi c research option for you, installed in a retractable failed and was not functional. Imme- and, more specifi cally, the BRCA1 and have identifi ed many genetic diseases awning, made for sun shade only. If you diately after yom tov, the hotel’s owner BRCA2 genes. Mutations in these genes and conditions that are commonly are looking for durability in a fabric called Mr. Lichtman and ordered a new are responsible for the vast majority of found amongst Jews,” said Nicole Sch- that will stand up to extreme weather, sukkah awning. Needless to say, he was hereditary forms of breast and ovarian reiber-Agus, Ph.D., scientifi c and pro- you could select vinyl. Whatever fab- delighted with the results, through high cancer and are found in approximately gramming director for the Program for

68 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES TRAVEL SECTION Jewish Genetic Health. “In addition, Remembering Reb Shimon Laufer, education could have taught me what I advances in technology, and in genetic learned from him. When he reached for testing in general, continue to impact z’l, On His Fifteenth Yahrzeit the red phone on his desk, you immedi- routine healthcare. GeneSights is ately knew a deal was being done. Some- designed to provide the Jewish commu- BY SHIMSHI GOLDSTEIN close throughout this time and through- times the best deal and price was of the nity with easy access to user-friendly, out the rest of their lives. utmost importance, but, on some occa- actionable information, as well as a bet- Shimon Zelig Laufer was born in Pod- After the war, Shimon met his wife, sions, there were other more important ter general grasp of the fi eld of genet- guz, Krakow, on March 21, 1923 to Shu- Fran (Frimet) Fuchsbrumer, in Ber- factors that swayed his judgment. Once ics and its associated opportunities and lim and Mindel. Shimon attended the gen-Belsen. He fell in love with her I was in his offi ce when Fran wanted limitations.” Bobover cheder in Pudguz. immediately, but she was a little hesi- to rent a showroom in the “Designers Seed funding for the GeneSights At a young age, Shimon went to work tant. He promised her that if she mar- Building.” Shimon was negotiating with series was provided in part by UJA-Fed- to support his family buying and sell- ried him, then one day there would be the landlord—then Fran called Shimon eration of New York and by a gener- ing used canvas bags. I often asked my a butler and a doorman at her beck and on his hotline and said that she wanted ous grant in honor of Beatrice Mil- father, Moshe Goldstein, z’l, Shimon’s call. Baruch Hashem, all of that came to it now. Shimon put down the phone berg. For more information, visit www. cousin, what the reason was for his fruition. After arriving in America, Shi- and immediately called the landlord GeneSights.com. great success. He related to me that Shi- mon went into business. He always and said, “I’ll take it as is, no more hon- The Program for Jewish Genetic mon fulfi lled kibud av v’eim to the high- helped others in developing their dling (bargaining).” This taught me an Health, a joint initiative between Yeshiva est degree. Whatever he earned, every own businesses as well. Whatever he important lesson in shalom bayis, how University and the Albert Einstein Col- grosh, he gave to his father, not expect- touched turned to gold. I, too, was in to treat a wife, because he would give lege of Medicine, was established with ing anything in return. Who in today’s the garment business like Reb Shimon her whatever she wanted, even if it was the goal that nobody in the Jewish com- era does something like this? There are and would often buy merchandise from against his style. munity facing a genetic health issue those that support their parents, but him. He always gave items to me at a I once brought a problem to Shimon should be deprived of proper care due to give everything? Fittingly, the Torah good price, so that I could make a nice that I was having with a close friend to lack of awareness, fi nancial barriers, rewarded him with its blessing, “V’tov profi t. He was loyal and would refer and business associate in a business or diffi culty in navigating the health- lach kol hayamim”—that blessing fol- small customers to me. deal. Shimon called me and told me not care system. For more information, visit lowed him throughout his life. He was a master negotiator and arbi- to ever close an open door in business www.yu.edu/genetichealth.  During the war, in the ghetto, he trator. The late Bobover Rebbe once or otherwise—since once you close it, once got hold of grenades and dyna- called him for a big donation. He agreed it’s diffi cult to ever reopen. I was called mite. Together with two other friends, to give the money for the entrance to into his offi ce and that very business Remember with those grenades, they destroyed a the grand Beis Medrash on Fifteenth associate with whom I was having trou- bar where the Nazis drank. It resulted Avenue in Boro Park. When the chas- ble was there. He negotiated a settle- in heavy Nazi casualties. It was not long sidim asked the Rebbe what Shimon ment that gave me all the rights; yet my that article? before Shimon and his two friends were had agreed to give, they immediately associate was all smiles. In short, both Visit our archive section caught. The SS police incarcerated them told the Rebbe to call back and say it sides were happy at his settlement. This in the famous jail Montelope, a place was too little. The Rebbe called back is the kind of thing that Shimon was and find any issue of the which no one was ever released from. Shimon and at the end of the conver- able to for people all the time. 5 Towns Jewish Times A few days later, Shimon was released; sation, Shimon ended up with the two Reb Shimon was always happy to help however, tragically, his two friends were entrances—albeit for just a bit more and volunteer in any holy endeavor. In online @ killed. He lived in the ghetto together than the original amount! I had the addition to the Bobover Rebbe, zt’l, he www.5TJT.com with the previous Bobover Rebbe, Rav privilege to sit in his offi ce watching Shlomo Halberstam, zt’l, and they were him conduct his business. No college Continued on Page 70

TRAVEL SECTION 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 69 Shimon Laufer, z’l And now, Israel: What Continued from Page 69 does the L-rd your G-d letters to ask of you? Only to fear was highly regarded among many other rabbanim and Rebbes of all persuasions. G-d He was close to Rav Moshe Feinstein THE EDITOR (Devarim 10:12) and the Amshinover Rebbe. Likewise, he was a confi dante to Rabbi Sholem Is fear of G-d a minor thing? Yes, for Kowolsky and was instrumental in his Moshe it is a minor thing. shul’s success at the Young Israel of (Talmud, Berachos 33b) Hillcrest. He led davening in Hillcrest, Voice Of The Silent Unworthy Of Our Support? as well as the 5th Avenue Synagogue. Dear Editor, Dear Editor, At first glance, the [Talmud’s] answer He would lead the minyan with his Barry Jacobson, in his articles about I was extremely disappointed to see is incomprehensible, since the verse warm tefi llos and niggunim. I recall that Zionism, spoke for the “silent majority” a picture in a recent issue that featured says “What does G-d ask of you” [not in his last days, when he was in the hos- of shomrei Torah u’mitzvos; he spoke two well-known, respected members of of Moshe]! pital, he only wanted to hear the Bobo- up for many poshite Yidden. Thanks so the frum community posing with may- But the explanation is as follows: ver niggunim that he grew up with. The much for publishing Barry’s words and oral candidate and former congressman day he passed on into the Olam HaE- allowing him to continue replying to Anthony Weiner. Weiner not only acted Each and every soul of the house of mes, I had a dream that he called to me his detractors. immorally, arrogantly, and in a childish Israel contains within it something of to come to him for one last time. When He may have been silenced temporar- fashion, but then went on to lie about it the quality of our teacher Moshe, for I arrived at the hospital, he had just ily. The rest of us know what we know, for a week of press conferences. He looked he is one of the “seven shepherds” died. I had another dream after his peti- have seen, and believe, and no shout- right into the eyes of his interviewers, and who feed vitality and G-dliness to rah, where he asked that his children ing, intimidation, and half-arguments without even breaking a sweat, lied and the community of the souls of Israel should cut up and set aside a piece of will change that. tried to blame conservative outlets for . . . Moshe is the sum of them all, challah for him on every Shabbos and By a Sheva Berachos, we say Hashem his boorish behavior. I’m not usually sur- called the “shepherd of faith” (raaya yom tov—saying that if his children will eventually let those who have been prised by a politician who acts without remembered him, he will remember previously silenced to sing out. Thanks shame, but I was this time and remain meheimna) in the sense that he them. I, along with some of his grand- for bringing that moment a bit more extremely disappointed in the gentlemen nourishes the community of Israel children, observe this practice in Reb forward. who posed with him. Shame on them. with the knowledge and recognition of Shimon’s honor to this day. He passed Lev Bar Nattan Alan Skorski G-d . . . away on the fourth day of Chodesh Av— West Hempstead So although who is the man who dares the same day as the Kedushas Zion of presume in his heart to approach Bobov and just four days after the yahr- and attain even a thousandth part zeit of the previous Bobover Rebbe, R’ Shlomo Halberstam, zt’l. Remember that article? of the level of the faithful shepherd, He lived with Bobov in his heart and Visit our archive section and find any issue of the nevertheless, an infinitesimal fringe and died with Bobov in his heart. Tehei nish- minute particle of his great goodness maso tzrurah b’tzror hachayim. May his 5 Towns Jewish Times online @ and light illuminates every Jew in each life and his neshamah serve as an eter- www.5TJT.com and every generation. nal merit to his entire family and to all (Tanya) of Klal Yisrael. 

70 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES TRAVEL SECTION YOUR AD COULD BE HERE! 516-569-0502

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 71 SERVICES PROVIDED HELP WANTED

Chazan/ Baal Tefi llah with many years’ experience Bais Yaakov of Queens seeks full time secretary, 8:00 featured in Yaakov Klass The Top Chai Rising Stars a.m.-5:00 p.m. Mon.-Thurs., Fri. 8:00 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Necessary Column in the NY Jewish Press available for Yomim Noraim skills include knowledge of Hebrew and English, Davka, and/or year round for Modern Orthodox synagogue. Call Word and Excel. Warm, nurturing, personable and excellent 757-254-4076 communication skills along with fl exibility to multi task a must. Please contact [email protected] Five Towns Reading Clinic Mikvah couple for young Orthodox community on Reading Teacher - State Certifi ed South Shore of LI. Apartment and utilities incl. Fluent in research based reading programs that address both decoding and comprehension issues. 516-761-6455 or [email protected] Call Chaya Markovich for a free consultation 917-620-2312 Yeshiva Tifereth Moshe, Queens, NY is seeking the following General Studies Teachers beginning September Large Van for any delivery. Reasonable price. Call 2013: Yoram 917-696-0000 ASSISTANT TEACHERS - EARLY CHILDHOOD - FULL or HALF DAY Experienced Rebbe available to learn any limudei 5th Grade Elementary Teacher. Monday-Thursday 1-4 PM, kodesh subject with you or your son. References available. Friday 11AM- 1PM 917-842-2587, [email protected] 7th & 8th Grade Social Studies. Monday-Thursday 2:10-5:45 PM Gemach special for simcha. We provide for you Excellent opportunity for creative and dynamic educators excellent speaker plus MP3 full of Jewish music, plus excellent to work in a premier yeshiva setting. E-mail resumes to mike system. Call 718-600-4559 [email protected] or fax to principal Beautiful business-size cards with Kiruv 718-441-3962 websites, are available for free (to give to not-yet-Frum people). Shevach High School seeking qualifi edAP US History Please text or call 718-501-2110 and Math teachers for the coming school year. Master’s Degree is required. Fax resume to 718-263-3759 or email “Used or Abused” Before you buy a used car, come in to offi c [email protected]. for a free frame (structural) check. Precision Auto Body 691 Burnside Ave, Lawrence. 516-371-1137. Mikvah couple for young Orthodox community on Friends don’t let friends drive junk! South Shore of LI. Apartment and utilities incl. Boro Park Ladies & Children Coat Gemach accepting 516-761-6455 or [email protected] gently used coats in excellent condition. Woodmere drop-off . Assistant Teachers. P/T positions available, in Sp. Ed. 718-972-3699 classes, grades 1-12. Simchas Naava Share your simcha fl owers! 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For more information please call distribute. 718-686-3102 or email your resume to Please call Tashbar Publications [email protected] at 718-438-9025 (leave message with address, IY”H we will mail them to you for free.) Assistant Teachers. P/T positions available, in Sp. Ed. classes, grades 1-12. Help Kosiner Bikur Cholim maintain their apartments near Manhattan hospitals. Sponsor a Please call CAHAL at 516-295-3666 or fax resume to Shabbos as a z’chus. Donations accepted. Tax deductible. 516-295-2899, e-mail [email protected] 347-924-4205 Proofreader for Jewish publication wanted. Must be New Table and Chair Gemach for shortterm computer literate, detail-oriented, well-read, and have a fl air simchas. 740 Mador Ct., Far Rockaway. for language. Knowledge of Hebrew and Yiddish a big plus. 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(Payments are REAL ESTATE tax deductible.) FOR SALE Retired public school teacher available to tutor men and boys in Hebrew, English, and/or Yiddish in the 5 Towns. Recession buster. Call 718-552-5525 Hewlett—Hew/Wd border 5B, 3 bth, granite kitchen, large offi ce separate entrance. Large property. Quite block. Great Study with Steve. One-on-one tutoring. SAT Math location. Sandy dry ...... $799K. Non-neg. Owner prep, regents, high school and elementary math, high school 516-359-6470 physics. Call 516-371-5522 Woodmere—Co-op spacious 3BD (master suite), 3 bth, SBG Moving — Prompt, professional, and reliable EIK, w/d, A/c, LR with dining, hardwood fl oors, huge closets, moving service available for local & long distance terrace, walk to wall, shuls . . . . .$549K negotiable owner moves. Lowest rates between NY and Lakewood. Small jobs 516-455-6361 welcome! We are insured! 347-276-7422 Open house Lawrence/ Sutton Park—New To Menadvim — Furniture and Appliances. Like new to Market! Mint!150 Lakeside Drive South Wednesday 7/24, Donate and Receive. Call 718-MEN-ADVIm 6-8pm Sunday 7/28, 11am-1pm Center Hall Colonial 6 Large (718-636-2384) We deliver. Bds, 4 Bths, Brand New Wood Floors, Very Large Kosher EIK, Boro Park Ladies Hat Gemach accepting hats in excellent Quiet Cul-da-sac, 5200 sq. ft., Too Much to List! By Owner condition. Woodmere drop-off ...... $1.950M. 718-972-3699 Call for info 917-716-7674 72 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR SALE

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 73 CLASSIFIED ADS Continued from Page 73 REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR SALE

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Lamed Hey street (quite street of private homes). 7BR, Fully Back Lawrence—all brick 3 story Georgian col. on 2-car garage. Huge oversized property. Walk to Young Israel Hewlett/Woodmere — Open House By furnished offi ce/study, Utility room, Mamad (safety room), beautiful 1+ acre POR and Aish. Come view the plans and specifi cations. Appointment. Call Joan 516-319-4482. Totally renovated, spacious high ranch, new kosher granite Second entrance into mud room, 5Bths, large DR/LR, Open Far Rockaway—by appt. Woodmere —Walk To Irving Place Minyan EIK, FDR, 6+ BR, 2 dens, 3.5 new bths, central a/c, great space Den, large basement including additional bathroom, Legal 2 family 6/6, basement ...... $500 New Construction. Walk to all. Classic custom built CH col. Grand 3 story 7BR col. +4 rooms drs offi ce lg prop . .985K location, walk all, in SD#14, can be M/D w/ proper permits. Patio and garden, Vineyard and Fruit trees, Close to Grocery Grand two-story entry foyer. 5BR, 4.5Bths. 9’ ceilings. Huge Mint, townhouse, lg kosher EIK, 3BR + fi n attic, bonus rm, Price reduced! and Synagogue. Call 866-536-8789 (ask for Yukie) open fl CAC, private beach ...... $499K ow. Full Basement. Too much to mention. See ...... $629K the plans & specifi Legal 2 family 6/4 lg deck Location! cations. If you are dreaming of the perfect 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 Cedarhurst — Sandy-free, MIC, 4+BR, 2.5bths, home, call Susan for all the possibilities. oversized lot, kosher kitchen, new master bath, large den, Cedarhurst—353 West Broadway, brick multi level, can Old Woodmere — Open House by Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth Lr/Dr, Walk to All fi nished basement, c/ac, low taxes, walk to all. be mother/daughter 1:30-3 PM Woodmere/ Hewlett/ Woodsburgh Open House appointment Classic 3BR CH col. on huge country-like ...... $179K Owner ...... $799K 612 Arbuckle Rd. totally renovated 5BR col...... $699K property. Exquisite custom kitchen, oversized den. Great Call 516-322-3555 516-295-4411 611 Bridge St 5BR split, waterviews ...... $500’s open fl ow. Walk to all. Must see. present all off ers! No fl ood! Lawrence — Open House BA. Call Joan 516- Lawrence — Open House Sunday 1-3 & throughout the 110 Wood Lane Woodsburgh grand brick col 1/2 acre 12-1 Reduced to ...... $599K 410 Eastwood Rd Academy Area, 5 BR tudor...... $599K Woodmere — Open House by appointment 319-4482 Brick, C/H COL, Stately brick, w/old world charm, week by appointment. Key here. 92 Meadow Lane. Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 bths, Kosher EIK, Lg. FDR, Library, Fin. Bsmt., Hewlett— 1105 Williams St. Spacious col., new bths$439K Traditional all brick CH col. 4BR on 1 level. LR with Fpl.Formal One-of-a-kind C/H. Shy half acre, ballroom size LR with 4-5 Lg Prop., walk all...... $875K DR. Large EIK. Full fi nished basement. Across the street from fi replace, DR & den. Pillars, granite, skylight, French doors, Hewlett—newly renovated 3BR col. low taxes . . . .$429K 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 9BR, 4.5bths, guest house. Must see! . . .$1.37M Let’s talk! Spacious and immaculate 4BR col. main level den, lux MBR Aish. No fl ood! ...... $649K Woodmere — new rental, huge 2 B, 1 bth, new granite EIK, suite SD#15 ...... $715K Old Woodmere — Grand 5 bedroom expanded ranch Lawrence/Far Rockaway — Co-op Freshly painted large large foyer, wood fl oors. ASAP $2,150 Grand 3 story 7BR col. lg EIK, IGP, oversized property $800’s on cul-de-sac with huge basement. Oversized double lot, must 2BR, 2bth, kosher kitchen, LR, FDR, terrace, 24-hour doorman, Shabbos Esther Walfi sh, Jessica Silver Realty New to market mint 4BR bi-level, lg property SD#15 Location! see ...... $800’s elevator. Walk all...... $329K 516-476-7764, 516-295-0306 Milky Forst Properties 516-239-0306 South Shore Estates 516-569-4980 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710

74 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES REAL ESTATE FOR RENT COMMERCIAL REAL MISCELLANEOUS FOR SALE ESTATE FOR RENT o fi Lawrence/Far Rockaway — 833 Central Ave. Spacious 1 Far Rockaway — New to market. Renovated 3/4BR apt Offi ce for rent. Prime location on Central Ave. 4 rooms, Helping poor brides is a big z’chus t nd a shidduch! BR, light and bright, doorman/elevator building, walk all. Price reduced in private house. New kitchen, LR, DR, 1.5bths. Walk all. c/a & c/h, can be subdivided. Call 917-417-5725 Donate to Yad P’sucha Hachnasas Kallah. Call 718-972-3699 ...... $179K Call Joan 516-319-4482 Far Rockaway — Medical/ Retail space available on 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Beach 20th Street. Ready to be used for medical. Must see. Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! 12,000 sq. ft. approx. Hewlett — Beautiful 1BR, EIK, LR, new bth, fi rst fl oor, Approx. 5,000 Sq Ft. Can be divided into 3 store fronts if 90’x150’, Colonial, 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, clean 2 car garage w/d, parking and storage included. Prime location. needed. For all inquiries, call Abe 646-879-2885, e-mail MISCELLANEOUS plus storage, 6 space parking, 2 family, professional use, accountant, Walk all ...... $1500 [email protected] Esq., medical and/or educational and religious uses. Grand colonial with charm and great possibilities. Available at once . $875K Negotiable. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710, Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq. ft., fully wired for Web, Owner 516-322-3555 or call Joan 516-319-4482 partitioned, will divide. Call 516-322-3555 Yeshiva of South Shore has some membership openings in its burial society. By purchasing an Far Rockaway — 2 Family. All NU, 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, 2bth, bsmt., hi- individual, couple or family membership, you will be ensured Great Location ...... $599K Call 516-322-3555 ceilings, NU bths, W\D. Call 516-322-3555 of select plots in one of several New York area cemeteries COMMERCIAL REAL of your choosing. For more information on burial society Lawrence — Renovated 2BR for rent. Central Ave. membership, call the Yeshiva at 516-374-7363 x12 location. New kitchen, terrace. ESTATE FOR SALE or [email protected] FOR RENT Call Sherri @ Weissman Realty 516-297-7995 Rockaway Park, Queens — 2-story offi ce/retail Cedarhurst — House for rent. LR, FDR, kosher kitchen, building. 11,114 SF + 14,017 SF of air rights $2,900,000 Deadline for den, 4+BR, basement. On quiet street ...... $3,400 Contact Daisy Okas at Besen & Associates 646-424-5315 Midwood — 3 nice bd for rent. 2 bth. Around Kings 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Plaza in Midwood nice neighborhood. Also available studio apartment Call Yoram 917-696-0000 Belle Harbor — Beach 136th Street— 4BR, 2bth, Sept.- Classified Lawrence — Basement furnished apartment ideal for June. Unfurnished or furnished. Ideal for family that goes to VACATION REAL ESTATE students or young couple. One extra-large room with separate Mountains for summer. $2,000 plus utilities, negotiable. FOR SALE kitchen. Great Lawrence location. Avail. 8/15 Send 917-749-9060 Advertising particulars of yourself. [email protected] Lawrence/FR border — Large 3BR Apt available for Vacation Village—on the lake Must sell due to illness Lawrence — Newly-restored manor house. Cent’l rent, 1st FL Private entrance in 2Fam house, Separate large LR 2 BR Upstairs fully furnished 2 BR unfi rnished downstairs den in the next issue location. Hi Ceilings. Wd Floors. 4 large BR, Library, FDR, Den. and DR, Prime location, Excellent condition. could be converted to 2 BR ...... $175K New chef’s kitchen. Available Aug. 15 ...... $4,250 Please call 516-322-3555 call 917-885-6780 or 516-371-4442 917-455-7376 is Monday, Income Producing Shopping Center for Sale in Sullivan Far Rockaway— Prime location. 5BR, 2 en suite bths, County large yard, available mid-August-June. COMMERCIAL REAL 100% Leased with Long Term Leases In Place & Additional Air Please call 718-612-0628 or 718-316-2000 July 29, Rights Available Kew Gardens — Furnished apt. 2.5 rooms in private ESTATE FOR RENT $1,900,000- 9.7% CAP Contact Yosef Katz @ house, private entrance. E & F trains & LIRR, Suitable for single, 212-837-4629 or ykatz@gfi cap.com at 5:00 PM references required ...... $1100 w/utilities. 718-846-2957 Offi ce/Warehouse Space For Lease In Inwood Vacation Village 2 fl , 4 BR, LR, 3 new bth, playrm, WD, Approx. 1000-2500 Sq.Ft Bayview Ave. Clean/ Safe beautiful view. 516-967-8370 Call Far Rockaway — Newly renovated apts in 2-family Receptionist Avail. Private Bathroom/ Kitchen Alexander Hotel, Miami Beach — Redone 2BR apt. houses, 2BR & 3BR apts. Call for details. Immediately. Great for small business 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 or call Joan Breathtaking views, 2bths, southern exposure, 10th fl oor. Priced 516-319-4482 Call Steven (516)567-1626 right! 516-581-2058, 516-374-4001 516-569-0502

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 75 Mourning Shani Feder, a’h Shani never lectured to our chil- zechus to watch you all soar. I just dren. We always felt the way to teach have a few words of motherly advice. BY RABBI MENDY FEDER tional. She often commented that peo- is by example. However, uncharacter- It’s not Torah miSinai—that, your ple think she has it rough. “However,” istically, she wrote a letter to our chil- father and rabbeim have taught you On Shivah Asar B’Tammuz, a time she said, “everybody has problems but dren two years ago before undergo- well and I in turn have learned much of tragedy for Klal Yisrael, our family I won the lottery. My sons are talmidei ing major surgery. I think the greatest from you—but just some thoughts on suffered an unexpected and grievous chachamim, I have a weekly chavrusa kavod acharon we can give this eishes happiness. tragedy. Our akeres ha’bayis left us. with my son, and I have the wonder- chayil and dedicated eim b’Yisrael is to “Enjoy and cherish every day. Don’t Shani was a unique and special per- ful nachas to live near all my children heed the advice that she gave her chil- worry so much about tomorrow—on son. She endured 12 surgeries in her and grandchildren and get to see them dren in the letter set out below. what might or might not happen. Do life, countless in-hospital procedures, grow b’derech haTorah. How fortu- “Just a happy Mother’s Day note the best you can. But if you focus your and suffered many different illnesses nate am I that I get to see my husband from dear old Mom (although I worry on tomorrow, it makes you lose over the last 30 years of her life. There learn with my sons and attend shiurim decided not to send on Mother’s Day). today and tomorrow. If something bad was hardly a day in the last 20 years together.” This attitude is remarkable I am awed by watching the miracu- is going to happen, it will happen and when she was not in pain. However, especially in light of all the suffer- lous order of G-d’s nature unfolding you won’t be able to deny it. At least she never showed it. She always had ing she had to endure. Our nephew, in my backyard. You can see through- you have today and so many wonder- a smile and said she was fi ne and Rav Aharon Marcus, rebbe at Yeshiva out nature, a mother’s job is to give ful things happen in today. quickly changed topics to ask how Reishit Yerushalayim, gave a hesped her child wings, teach them to fl y, and “If something bad or unexpected you were doing. Everybody was her for Shani at her burial in Bet Shemesh. watch them soar. Each year I watch happens, you will deal with it. You are best friend. Her chesed and gemilus He said that he had the good fortune the swans hatch ugly ducklings and stronger than you think, and maybe chasadim were legendary. Everybody to be a shamas to Rav Aharon Solove- teach them to hunt for food and when some good will even come from it. she met felt special. itchik, zt’l, after he had a stroke. He strong enough teach them to fl y. Then Only G-d knows what lies ahead, In Iyov, we learn that human beings observed how Rav Aharon conducted they turn into beautiful swans and what’s just around the corner. suffer many yissurin in their lifetimes, himself on a daily basis continuing his fl y off to start their own lives (so it “We cannot write the script. We but constant pain and suffering is a life’s work without ever complaining seems). don’t even always know what is good test that most people fail. Shani did or letting it slow him down. Rav Ari “Fortunately children may leave or bad. Sometimes it’s a matter of not fail, but the way she conducted said the only other person who had the nest—but don’t always leave the a person’s perspective on life—and her life was truly amazing and inspira- that same quality was his Aunt Shani. neighborhood. I have really had the what’s truly important to them. One can only strive for the best Torah life. “Always thank G-d for all the good that you have (and for the bad that you don’t have). Nothing is a given. Appreciate it all but try not to judge people who don’t seem to—you never really know what their true circum- stances are. Try to treat them as you would like them to treat you. G-d cre- ated all of us. “Try to do things with a smile. Nobody likes a grump. Your words of wisdom (and even help and criticism) are better accepted if given with a smile. “Okay, enough preaching . . . I could keep going but as you realize that’s not the point of this message. (I can take lessons from you all on these topics.) As I hope you realize, the point of this all is to simply say, I thank G-d every day that I am truly blessed with happi- ness (to be cliché, Yiddishe nachas)— Bumps in the road are just that and make me appreciate what I have more. I am sorry for how they affect you and your father. My wings may be clipped for a short time but G-d willing all will be well (even better—I hope and pray. No pain, no gain—as they say). “So shut off this computer and go teach my grandchildren to fl y . . . with G-d’s help I will be there very soon to help. “Love, The tough old bird” We will always remember our Shani and try to live our lives based upon her example.  WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? E-MAIL US AT [email protected] 76 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES A Memorial Square For The Kol Family: Eight Years And Nine Namesakes Later

BY TOBY KLEIN for them. We too have a granddaugh- evening concluded with a concert GREENWALD ter named Rachel Emuna (“faith”), a given by Hanan Yovel, a beloved grand-niece to Rachela and Dov. Israeli folk singer who told the story How meaningful to have begun Over the last two years the Ganei of how Hezi Cohen’s father was the writing this on the late afternoon of Tal homes have steadily been going Kohen who redeemed his own son at Tishah B’Av, a day commemorating up in their new location, and the his pidyon haben, 30 days after his destruction, and to have completed Cohens will also be moving into their birth. He sang a deeply moving song it on Tu B’Av, the holiday of love. new home soon. But just as mean- whose lyrics are from the 49th chap- Eight years ago, on the eve of the 17th of Tammuz, as Rachela and Dov Kol were leaving a Shabbat spent with their extended family at the home of “They were murdered Ruti and Hezi Cohen in Ganei Tal, in Gush Katif, three weeks before the on their way home from Ganei Tal expulsion, they were gunned down by terrorists on Kissufim Road. in Gush Katif.” Naomi Mizrachi at the memorial stone ing forward to all the smachot that will be here. And every time there is a ingful to them was the ceremony ter of Psalms: “Do not fear when one wedding held here, it will be written held the day before the 17th of Tam- is made rich, when the glory of his on the invitation, “The voice (kol in muz this year, dedicating an exqui- house is increased, for when he dies Hebrew) of joy and celebration will site, expansive plaza to the memory he shall carry nothing away…” Yovel be heard in the Kol Plaza.” of Rachela and Dov. The plaza is bor- said that the last time he had sung Echoing Ruti’s words are those dered by the new synagogue of the that song was at the azkarah (memo- engraved at the bottom of the plaza’s rebuilt Ganei Tal, a community cen- rial service) of Hezi’s cousin, who fell memorial stone: “For the Lord shall ter and a memorial room, dedicated in the Yom Kippur War. Years later, the comfort Zion, He will comfort all her to members of the community who son of that same cousin fell during ruins, and He will make her wilder- fell in wars or by terror. the war in Lebanon. Yovel said, “I felt ness like Eden and her desert like the We were privileged to be at the ded- that this song was the most appropri- garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness ication. And we were overwhelmed ate for Dov and Rachela.” shall be found in it, thanksgiving, to see how the extended Cohen-Miz- Ruti says, “I hope this plaza will be and the voice of song.”  rachi (Rachela’s maiden name) clan filled with many joyful occasions. I had grown in the last eight years. know that funerals will also leave The author is a contributing editor for The day before the dedication, on from here, and this week we held a the Five Towns Jewish Times, the award- winning director of the Raise Your Spirits Rachel Emuna Shabbat, Dov and Rachela’s youngest ceremony for the day of our expul- educational theater, and editor-in-chief of child, Yehonatan, and his wife Ayelet sion from Gush Katif, but I am look- WholeFamily.com. Their deaths by terror made news celebrated the brit milah of their not just because they left behind first child, whom they named Dov three children, but because they were Maayan (“fountain”). Ruti described a couple known to live in peace and love with their contradictions. Dov was a secular left wing Tel Avivian (though he had moved to Jerusalem) and Rachela, the beloved aunt of our son-in-law, was a religious woman with right wing politics. Of course, it’s never as simplistic as that, but it was close enough to put their deaths in the headlines more than usual. Dov’s first wife had died of cancer, and Rachela had been her close friend and a source of support to the fam- ily during her illness and in the after- math. She raised Dov’s first child like her own, and Dov and Rachela had two children together. At the time of their deaths, the oldest was married, and the two younger were teenagers. Many of the eulogies mentioned how The new shul of Ganei Tal ecstatic they were to become grand- parents, only six weeks before their how Yehonatan first said Kaddish for deaths. his parents and then recited “Shema Three weeks after their double Yisrael” for the brit. murder, the Cohens and other fami- The dedication opened with the lies of Ganei Tal were expelled from unveiling of a large stone set in a their homes and destined to spend new playground at the edge of the the coming years in what Ruti refers plaza, unveiled by Rachela’s mother, to as “cardboard” boxes in Yad Bin- Naomi Mizrachi. On it are the words: yamin, awaiting the building of their “Kol Plaza in Memory of Dov and new homes in an area near Kibbutz Rachel, may their blood be avenged. Chafetz Chaim, named “Ganei Tal” They were loving and pleasant, and for the original Gush Katif commu- were murdered by evil ones on Kis- nity. Meanwhile, Dov and Rache- sufim Road, on their way home from la’s teenagers, Tamar and Yehonatan, Ganei Tal in Gush Katif, on the eve grew up, married and had children of of 17th of Tammuz, 5765 (2005), may their own. their memory be blessed.” There are now nine grandchildren The men’s choir of Ganei Tal sang, and great-nieces and nephews named the rav of Ganei Tal spoke, and the 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 77 Woodcliff Lake, NJ, are planning to pilot ing that his students leave their tablets at Israel News Briefs the program in September. school overnight. “We believe that there Will Jewish Day Schools Go From Textbooks To Tablets? “What we would like to see is Jewish are very good things that they can use it schools using our platform,” says Goren- for, but they need to learn how to use it By Rachel Marder Meir Gefen, the company’s R&D man- Bar. “Our dream is basically to allow this and when to use it.” As American and Israeli schools shift ager, says the motivation behind AURA not just for Israel but also to allow Jewish In the yeshiva, wifi Internet access and from textbooks to tablets, entrepreneurs was to address the fear teachers have education to upgrade itself.” websites including YouTube and Face- from the “start-up nation” hope they can that greater technology in the classroom Goren-Bar says they have begun reach- book are also blocked. Teachers down- bank on the trend. means a loss of control. When a teacher ing out to synagogues of all stripes, day load material from home, and then In June, Israel’s Education Ministry looks out at her class and sees 30 stu- schools, home schools, and the Chabad- upload it as group discussion topics to announced an ambitious pilot program dents staring at their tablets, the teacher Lubavitch distance-learning program (for the tablets to share the material with stu- to distribute schoolbooks via e-reader has no idea what the students are really children who live in far fl ung parts of the dents. devices, including on tablets, to students doing, he says. world and take their classes via computer). Over the next couple of years, Rok- and teachers in 100 schools. The ministry, “Most likely they’re playing Angry “It can work for any Jewish environ- ach envisions each student bringing his which estimates that 25 percent of Israeli Birds,” says Gefen during an interview ment,” says Gefen. “It can be used with- own device to school, including tab- schools already use this more afford- from Contentnet’s offi ce, refer- out control or with maximum control. lets, iPads and laptops, holding all of his able and lightweight technology, aims to encing the popular video game. “In this It lends itself to whatever the school heavy schoolbooks digitally. This lends expand its usage to bridge technological case, with our system, the teacher is policy is.” itself well to yeshiva learning, he says, and academic gaps. assured they can only see and do what Browsing protection can even con- where students compare texts and exam- While different Israeli companies com- they allow them to do.” tinue after the school day is done, as it ine multiple sources. Within the same peted for the opportunity to prepare the Dr. Dina Goren-Bar, the company’s does for some AMIT students. The school class, groups can do separate learning. e-books, the ministry selected several director and technology adviser, empha- can decide that the tablets shut off auto- “One group can work on Moshe Rabeinu start-ups for the initiative, including Con- sizes that AURA allows teachers to assign matically at midnight to ensure students and another group can work on Pharaoh tentnet Education and Radix Technolo- different work to students who are at get a good night’s sleep, and on Shabbat when they learn Tanach,” says Rokach. gies, which presented on AURA, its inno- different academic levels in the same for religious observance. Still, in the case of an electrical power vative classroom management platform class, either in groups or individually. But Avi Rokach, the head of AMIT’s yeshiva outage, he says, the school will always for the Android tablet, at the Bett 2013 when the teacher pushes the “attention” in Rehovot, says that for their 85 eighth have the hard-copy sources, and some educational technology show in London key and students see a message fl ash graders who started using the tablet this teachers still prefer to use them along- in January and February. on their screens, they are forced to stop year—paid for by the school—it encour- side the technology. But the need for dig- AURA allows teachers to control what whatever they are doing and engage with ages independent learning and responsi- ital sources in the classroom is undeni- students are working on during class the teacher. bility. able, says Rokach, adding that the Israeli time, including which websites students AURA, launched in 2011, is already being “We want to give them the base to Education Ministry’s initiative rep- can visit and when, as well as posting les- used in three of Israel’s chain of religious learn alone,” he says, “not just when the resents important progress for Israel’s son plans for student review, classroom AMIT junior high and high schools, trans- teacher is in the class.” high school students who could one day games and activities, and homework lating to a couple hundred students. But But it’s also important, Rokach says, for work at Google. assignments for later. When students the company has its sights set outside students to have a safe environment in “The big problem I see in education enter different classes, the tablet adjusts of Israel on conquering Jewish educa- which to use technology. If left to their today is that we need to prepare [stu- automatically to that subject, while at tion in North America. Goren-Bar says a own devices, the freedom could be dam- dents] for the 21st century and we are recess the device unfreezes and becomes few yeshivot and congregations in the aging, he cautions. using devices that belong to the 17th cen- free and open, or remains controlled, U.S., including Temple Avodat Shalom of “It needs to happen in the yeshiva, not tury,” he says. “We want our students to depending on the school’s preference. River Edge, NJ, and Temple Emanuel of out of the yeshiva,” Rokach explains, add- be in the front of the most important

78 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES fi elds in Israel and the world, in Torah peace mean in each culture?’ before you Fatah Central Command member meant to replace Judaism and Christian- and science and the army.” (JNS.org)  can hope to reach it,” Kedar said. “While Abbas Zaki stated in Jordan’s Muslim ity, according to the Islamic approach,” in Western terms ‘peace’ means open Brotherhood newspaper As-Sabeel, “The Kedar said. “It is a challenge on the exis- Cultural Differences borders and multilevel cooperation, in visit [by Kerry to Jordan] is nothing more tence of Islam.” Loom Over Talks the Middle East ‘peace’ does not mean than consultations; it has nothing to do “Islam cannot exist side-by-side with By Alex Traiman much more than temporary non-belliger- with launching negotiations.” Judaism or Christianity. In Islam, Juda- U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry’s ence, but Israel has not yet adjusted its According to Kedar, Palestinian ism and Christianity are not valid reli- announcement of an Israeli-Palestin- expectations from its neighbors,” nor do demands may have less to do with spe- gions,” he added. ian agreement to resume peace negotia- Westerners understand the situation in cifi c outcomes of negotiations, and more According to Kedar, the basis for coex- tions, a process that has stood idle since which Israel has to survive in this region, to do with stalling them altogether. istence in the Middle East is when one negotiations last broke down in 2010, Kedar said. “They don’t accept us, and they don’t group understands that the other is invin- raises renewed questions as to whether Early responses from Israel and the Pal- want us living in the Middle East alto- cible. As long as one group feels the other it is possible for a peace agreement to be estinians on the prospects for renewal gether. Every Jew who comes here is a can defeated, there will be no peace. reached, particularly as sharp cultural dif- of negotiations touched on those differ- colonialist who doesn’t belong here. It’s In Kedar’s estimation, understanding ferences between Israelis and Palestin- ences. Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin a matter of existence and not a matter of and adapting to the local culture is crit- ians continue to play a signifi cant role in Netanyahu began crafting legislation settlements,” Kedar said. ical to survival in the region. Those who defi ning the parameters of peace. requiring any negotiated peace deal to be Kedar highlights Islamic theology and do not adapt to the cultures of the Mid- “Culture plays a role both in confl ict ratifi ed by a national referendum. local tribal codes in his assessments of dle East do not survive in the region. Yet, resolution and confl ict maintenance. In his weekly cabinet meeting Sunday, culture, noting that many Arabs presently understanding the Arabic culture, and Culture plays a role when questions Netanyahu stated, “I don’t think these deny the existence of a Jewish Temple in how it plays a role in peacemaking, has of acceptance are raised as a basis for decisions can be made, if there is a deal, Jerusalem, even though Muslim docu- been diffi cult for Jews who have taken peace,” Dr. Mordechai Kedar, director of by one government or another, but need ments from as late as 1925 assert that the little efforts to learn it, Kedar said. the Center for the Study of the Middle to be brought as a national decision.” “It Dome of the Rock was indeed the site of “We don’t speak Arabic, we don’t teach East and Islam at Israel’s Bar Ilan Univer- won’t be easy, but we’re going into the Solomon’s Temple. it enough in schools,” he said. “Our direc- sity, which is under formation, told JNS. negotiations with integrity and honesty,” Peace negotiations famously broke tion is the West. We feel that we are part org. Netanyahu added. down at the Camp David Summit in of the West. We don’t want to feel like Speaking in Jordan on Friday, Kerry Meanwhile, multiple Palestinian rep- 2000, when then Palestinian Chairman part of the Middle East, particularly when said that a preliminary agreement “estab- resentatives have been denying that Yasser Arafat denied that the Temple we witness the many atrocities that are lishes a basis for resuming direct fi nal the framework for fi nal-status negotia- existed, an affront both to Judaism and taking place daily across the region.” status negotiations between the Palestin- tions had been agreed upon. Palestinian Christianity. Arafat later rejected a peace “When you see the poverty, neglect, ians and the Israelis.” Authority offi cials have repeatedly accen- deal in which 95 percent of the West dictatorships, the worthlessness of “The representatives of two proud peo- tuated since Kerry’s announcement that Bank and all of Gaza would have been human life, who wants to be part of it?” ple today have decided that the diffi cult they are maintaining their demands in handed over to the Palestinian Author- he added. road ahead is worth traveling,” Kerry said. order for talks to resume—including a ity, raising serious doubts as to whether The proper course of action for Israel, A specifi c date for the fi rst meeting return to the pre-1967 lines (which were the leader ever intended to make peace according to Kedar, is to “start to deal between the Israelis and Palestinians in marked as armistice lines between Israel to begin with. with [the Palestinian side] by changing Washington, DC has not yet been set. and Jordan after Jordan occupied the “In 1967, Jews liberated Jerusalem from our mindset.” Before renewed negotiations start, Kedar West Bank in 1948) as the basis of negotia- the Jordanian illegal and illegitimate “They will get the message very quickly believes questions of culture loom over tions, and a complete freeze of construc- occupation, and this is bringing Judaism if we—Israelis—are consolidated and the process. tion beyond those lines—and that those back to life, which brings into question resolute. The Middle East is no place for “You have to ask yourself, ‘What does demands had not yet been accepted. the role of Islam which was ultimately weak people,” Kedar said. (JNS) 

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES July 26, 2013 79 Rulings From Rav Elyashiv in Yuma 39a). What if someone is eat- a paper to that effect. Since the wedding, ing these foods on account of a danger- however, the groom’s mother intervenes Halachic Musings Can a child with Down Syndrome ous illness (choleh sheyeish bo sakanah)? in numerous issues between the two of be included in a minyan of ten? Rav Does it still dull the mind? Rav Elyashiv them and the husband always sides with BY RABBI YAIR HOFFMAN Elyashiv answered that if the following responded that although the Maharal in his mother against the opinion of his two criteria are met, not only may he Tiferes Yisrael, (chapter 8) writes that it wife. Is the wife in violation of the ini- Rav Elyashiv, zt’l, may have passed on be counted but he may even be motzi does not, Rav Elyashiv has a proof from tial agreement if she states that she no to the Olam HaEmes, but his Torah lives the masses with krias haTorah: 1. If he the Rama YD 81:7 that it does (YD 253). longer wishes to live next to her moth- on. Indeed, thanks to the efforts of his can shop without losing money and If someone is marrying off a son and er-in-law? Rav Elyashiv responded that son-in-law, Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein, shl- can accept and hold on to change, or if his own father is a famous Torah scholar, the wife had never agreed to these terms ita, we are privy to new and remarkable he can travel alone on a bus and 2. if he yet he wants another famous Torah where the husband would be siding with rulings of Rav Elyashiv in a just-off-the- understands a little bit of what he stud- scholar to be honored with siddur kiddu- his mother against her at every turn. She press sefer entitled Kav V’Naki, Vol. II, by ies (OC 15). shin, and his own father may be insulted, is thus within her full rights to request Rav Zilberstein. Some of the rulings deal that they move, and the husband must with fundamental issues that all mem- do so. He brought a proof to this from bers of Klal Yisrael should be aware of. “If you both daven fervently and act with the words of the Pischei Teshuvah in EH Below are some of the questions, divided 75:3 (YD 276). into the categories of three of the four In Israel there exists something called sections of Shulchan Aruch. the middah of tzniyus, the merit of your evening kollels. The gedolei Yisrael have stated that kollel men should take one Orach Chaim combined families will keep you safer!” evening off each week to participate in Regarding the minhag of fasting for all outreach. What happens if the rosh kol- who witness a sefer Torah falling, may lel of the evening kollel wishes to reduce the Merciful One protect us, are women A ba’al teshuvah went back to his home what should be done? Rav Elyashiv the pay of the kollel person who is taking included in this custom? Rav Elyashiv community where the only minyan that answered that there is no question that off one evening a week to participate in responded that this is the custom now existed was made up of people that drive his own father should be engaged for the outreach? Rav Elyashiv responded that in Klal Yisroel that all men who observed back home on Shabbos. Is it preferable siddur kiddushin (YD 273). they are doing so incorrectly and are it fall do fast, but the absolute halachic to daven with them or to daven without At the Shabbos table, both his mother wrong! Are they doing it for themselves? requirement was only for the person a minyan? Rav Elyashiv responded that it is present and a Kohein is present. Who They are taking off that night for Klal Yis- who actually dropped it to fast. He also is preferable to daven alone, although he should get the fi rst piece of challah— rael! When asked if the rosh kollel does it ruled that only men are included in this noted that Rav Moshe Feinstein argued his mother or the Kohein? Rav Elyashiv anyway, may the kollel student take off custom and women who see a sefer Torah with that position. In Rav Elyashiv’s pub- answered that although technically we that amount from ma’aser? Rav Elyashiv fall do not fast. (OC 13) [Editor’s note: Per- lished shiurim on Berachos, however, he honor a Kohein fi rst (See Gittin 59b), since responded that if kollel students do not haps Rav Elyashiv is expressing a similar stated that under very very pressing cir- in our times we are not sure whether the have the funds, they are exempt from notion to that of the author of the Alei cumstances one may include such peo- Kohanim are real Kohanim, we give the giving ma’aser (YD 276). Shor that the custom of 100 blessings ple in a minyan (OC 16). mother fi rst, since we know with cer- a day was never instituted for women tainty that she is the mother (YD 274). Choshen Mishpat because they have more natural yiras Yoreh Deah A chassan and kallah got engaged, but Two brothers, both married, were shamayim than do men and were not in There is a principle that non-kosher on a condition that since the groom’s assigned to the same army tank. They need of the takanah of 100 blessings per food is metamteim—causes intellectual mother was a widow they would live were concerned that if the tank were day to increase their yiras shamayim]. dullness in Torah study (See Gemara near his mother. The bride even signed to be attacked neither one would be

80 July 26, 2013 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES left to support the children and spouse UN Turns To Israel For Inclusion Advice of the other. “Should we opt for sepa- rate tanks?” they asked Rav Elyashiv. He This week, the United Nations tus to the UN’s Economic and Social responded, “Au contraire! If you both turned to leading Israeli disabilities Council (ECOSOC) last July. daven fervently and act with the middah nonprofi t organization Beit Issie Shap- “At a time when boycotts of Israel of tzniyus, the merit of your combined iro for advice on the inclusion of peo- are on the rise, I am proud to repre- families will keep you safer! Stay in the ple with disabilities. sent the ‘Start-Up Nation,’” says Judes. same tank!” (CM 454) Giving Beit Issie Shapiro’s fi rst pre- “Beit Issie Shapiro develops innova- Rav Elyashiv held that streets are pub- sentation to the UN, executive direc- tions that impact positively on people lic property and it is absolutely forbid- tor Jean Judes spoke about commu- with disabilities and change attitudes den to drive on them without the per- nity-based rehabilitation and the in the community towards people mission of the public. This is particularly organization’s innovations to help with disabilities.” true since cars are inherently considered include children and adults with dis- Representatives from across the quite dangerous and there are issues of abilities in society. Amongst these world including Estonia, Colom- pikuach nefesh and murder involved in innovations is Park Chaverim, Isra- bia, New Zealand, the Vatican—and the illegal use of cars on the road. (CM el’s fi rst inclusive and accessible play- even from countries that don’t have 452). ground so that children with and with- diplomatic relations with Israel— He held that looking at someone else’s out disabilities can play together. Jean Judes at the United Nations approached Judes to learn more from mail by means of amirah l’akum is a vio- Judes announced the results of a Beit Issie Shapiro and for cooperation lation of the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom. study done at Beit Issie Shapiro look- ents, and partnered with Sesame in the fi eld of disabilities. (CM 451) One may not ask a gentile to ing at children’s perceptions of disabil- Workshop in Israel who created Sivan, “Israel is a country with a wealth look at the contents even if they are ities, which showed that while chil- the fi rst muppet in a wheelchair, for of talent and a big heart,” says Israeli potentially damaging. dren without disabilities hold negative Beit Issie Shapiro’s Park Chaverim. All Ambassador to the UN Ron Prosor. A single woman living in a bad neigh- perceptions of children with disabil- of Israel’s children have the oppor- “Beit Issie Shapiro shows all that can borhood is concerned for her life and ities, there is evidence that attitudes tunity to meet Sivan and learn criti- be accomplished with Israeli innova- wanted to know if she could electrify can be changed through education. cal lessons about inclusiveness and tion, professionalism, and leadership. the entrance to her home. Rav Elyashiv “We conducted research with chil- tolerance by watching Rechov Sum- We are very happy to have them as a answered not the outer entrance, but dren aged between four and six who sum (Sesame Street), which airs daily partner at the United Nations, sharing the inner one would be permissible (CM were very honest in their responses,” on Israel’s premier children’s channel, their expertise to improve life for the 249). explains Jean. “We discovered that HOP!” 780 million people who live with dis- May a woman whose husband is not children at a very early age think, feel, “Through education, the media, and abilities around the world.”  yet observant secretly pay for the cost and act differently towards children changing legislation so that all new of an outreach seminar even though her with disabilities and have negative parks in Israel must be accessible, husband does not wish to spend a penny perceptions towards them. In order parents with children with disabili- Remember on it? Rav Elyashiv answered that the to remove barriers and to make a real ties now report to us that they feel a that article? ends are good and proper, but the ends deep change in society, we have to change in the community.” Visit our archive section do not justify the means, and it is consid- change attitudes along the whole age Beit Issie Shapiro is known world- and find any issue of the ered absolute theft (CM 245).  spectrum starting with kindergarten wide for its therapy innovations to 5 Towns Jewish Times age, including youth, and up to adults.” make life easier and more inclusive online @ The author can be reached at “We designed workshops for chil- for people with disabilities, and was www.5TJT.com [email protected]. dren, kindergarten teachers, and par- awarded Special Consultative Sta-

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