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IF a FRIEND SUFFERS TRAUMA 'As a Child I Thought It Was My Fault. No One Corrected

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IF a FRIEND SUFFERS TRAUMA 'As a Child I Thought It Was My Fault. No One Corrected 4501-LI BI DO-You. pdf Page 1 8/ 28/ 08, 12:16 PM (From page 157) known if I hadn’t spoken up. Don’t keep it to yourself or ‘As a child I thought it was my you’ll be a victim.” Lizelle has become more fault. No one corrected me’ involved in her church and teaches at Sunday school. “Believing gives meaning my fault. No one corrected Every small victory paved to my life.” me. Before the incident I’d the way for greater ones. Nine-year-old Thalyta was done well at school but Thalyta obtained a protection looking for her brothers when afterwards I began to do order against her ex-husband she was attacked by a man poorly. How could my parents but decided not to speak armed with a knife and raped and teachers not have realised badly of him in their child’s in the bush at Olifantsfontein something was drastically presence. in Gauteng. wrong?” She has since married a “I’m only nine; please don’t If traumatised youngsters man who treats her well and kill me,” she begged. When don’t receive counselling they has given her the chance to he finally let her go she ran will make wrong choices in recover. home, took her clothes off, life, says Thalyta, who at 22 Thalyta tells children in hid them and showered. Her married a man who later need, “Don’t wait as long as I parents didn’t ask her what assaulted her. She and her did to stand up for yourself. had happened to her or lay three-year-old son eventually You’ll save a lot of people a charge. ran away. much pain.” Now, nearly 30 years later, “I believed I didn’t deserve S Pseudonyms have she’s beginning to heal thanks anything better. It took a lot been used and personal to her involvement as a of hard work and guidance details changed to protect volunteer at Tygerbear. to realise if I didn’t set limits the identities of the young “As a child I thought it was no one else would.” people. IF A FRIEND SUFFERS TRAUMA S Read up on trauma. Google “trauma” on the internet so you know what to expect if any of your friends land in such a situation, says Janine Shamos of the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadrag). S Invite traumatised friends to accompany you on out- ings but choose activities carefully. For example if they were in a store when a robbery took place they’ll likely to find it frightening to go shopping. S If you’re concerned a pupil at your school might be trau- matised ask your parents to speak to the child’s teacher. “Gaining access to a child in need is easier if you work through the school,” says Anneke Putter of the TygerBear unit. For more information and advice call Sadrag on 0800-12-13-14, SMS 32312 or call the Tyger- Bear 24-hour helpline on 082-994-4301..
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