The Newspaper of Imperial College Union CCUs NET CASH After Gross Tactics By Council Members

The Union Finance Committee's mental Representatives and decision to cut Constituent Col- delegates, the Major Sub- lege Union grants next year was committee officers estimated reversed at Monday's Council that they would be defeated and meeting after several Union therefore attempted to close the officials attempted to block the meeting before the vote. In order reversal by making the meeting to do so, Jonathan Miller, Ian inquorate. Bull, Mike Prosser and Matthew The original motion, pre- Tonks, the SCC, ACC, Publica- sented to UFC last Friday, was tions Board and SCAB Chair- proposed by the Recreational men respectively, walked out of Clubs Committee and seconded the meeting leaving John Mc- by Atheletics Clubs, Social Callion, ICU DP, to call quo- rum. However, the challenge Clubs, Publications Board and was unsuccessful and an attempt SCAB. It suggested that CCU by a non-voting person to call estimates for 1983/4 were quorum after John McCallion exaggerated and represented an and Hugh Southey had left was unrealistic position and thus defeated by Jon Barnett's could justifiably be cut. Items to oratory ability. The motion was undergo cuts included entertain- then passed by an overwhelming ments and exec honoraria. majority in the absence of the A new lion on Queen's Lawn heralds the year of the pig. Details inside. According to the motion, the opposing officials. ICU President was to ensure that Major Sub-committee's de- mands are met more readily thus channelling money into IC Union clubs rather than CCU IC STUDENTS ON FIREARMS CHARGE clubs. This motion was passed by 'shot' it through the back released on bail, although they UFC, where Major Subcom- Four students were arrested for possession of a toy pistol in window. The police car followed claim that they were never mittee representatives out- Cumbria last Saturday. Carl them for some twenty miles, and formally charged—in fact, this number CCU representatives. Fairhurst, Tony Collier and Julian when they turned off the motor- was the first indication that they But at the Union Council Barber, all undergraduates at way they were intercepted by had been arrested. They were meeting on Monday night, Imperial, and Martin White from more cars. In all, ten policemen told that the lorry driver had President Stephen Goulder Cambridge have been released on —two of them armed—and five reported a shooting incident, included an item on CCU bail. police cars were used. and that because the students expenditure in his report, which The four were on their way to The four students were had been stopped by Lancashire concluded that the CCUs' cash the Lake District for a weekend searched, the gun was confis- Police they could not be charged limits would have to depend on a of climbing. They had with them cated and they were driven, at Kendal, which is in Cumbria. priority determined by UFC. a cap-pistol which one of the handcuffed, to Kendal Police They are expected to attend At this point the meeting, four had been given for Christ- Station, about five miles distant. Lancaster Police Station on chaired by John Passmore, mas, and when a lorry pulled out There they had their shoes and March 12, where formal charges became heated as the CCU in front of them on the M6, Mr belts removed and were kept for may be made—probably for presidents presented an emer- Collier wound down the car one and a half hours in a cell Breach of the Peace, according gency motion which would window and 'shot' the driver while individual statements to a police spokesman. He said reverse the UFC decision which on the way past. Some time were taken from all four. Their that th" charges would not be they described as "unrepresen- afterwards, they noticed a Police fingerprints and photographs seriou„, out that it was 'a stupid tative and undemocratic". Due Range Rover behind them, and were taken before they were thing to do in this day and age'. to the strong presence of Depart- No. 637HHHHH Friday, February 18, 1983 HHHNMMHMHI Free Did you know that: Since 1978/9 average earnings form. Theoretically, you can have risen by 57%; the Retail claim for daily travel into Price index has risen by 50%; THE GRANT GAME College plus three return student grants have risen by only —and how to play it journeys to your parental home 39%. per year by the cheapest means Most people who have been of travel. This usually means Minimum Grant Vacation Element buying a student railcard in 'ordinarily resident' in the UK The minimum grant for 1982/3 The student grant includes ;in for three years prior to the which case you can claim the remains at £410. This is the element to cover eight weeks cost of that back too. However, commencement of their course amount you will receive if: vacation at Christmas and are entitled to a mandatory in practice, authorities only have a) your parents' combined Easter. For 1982/3 this amounts award for a first degree course. to pay what they consider to bke income exceeds £21,000 (approx). to £23.62 a week which is slightly This means the relevant Local 'reasonable' and many authori- b) your parents refuse to sign more than the single person's Education Authority will pay ties do set conditions such as the grant forms. rate of supplementary benefit. the student's tuition fees and reimbursement ceilings. The c) your parents' income for This is why students arc not make a contribution towards Student Services Office may be the relevant year cannot at eligible to claim supplementary their maintenance. How much able to give you some guidelines present be confirmed, eg if benefit during the short vaca- they pay depends on a number to the particular conditions set they're abroad or self-employed. of factors, the most important tions. However, because there is by your authority but it is no element for rent included in being: Basic Rates of Grants essential that you check with the grant for the vacations, Most of you probably realise your authority before running up students can claim their rent Parental Contribution that the basic full grant for a huge trave bill. back from the DHSS but only if Unless you are over 25 or have undergraduates studying in In addition to the above there they're living at the address for worked for at least three years, London for 1982/3 is £1,900 but are a number of extra allowances which they're claiming. For your grant will be assessed on do you know what that figure is which the authority may award DHSS purposes your income in your parents' income. For supposed to cover? eg extra money for dependents, the short vacations, will be 1982/3 the starting point for mature students, or vacations. calculated as £23.62 irrespective parental contributions remains The Student Services Office has of whether your parents pay at £6,600 leaving the vast details of these and a list of their contribution. majority of students reliant on Vacation 8wks at £23.62 189 addresses and telephone num- Board and lodgings 1249 their parents to make up their Travel bers of education authorities. If grants. Although it is virtually Books, equipment etc 165 Clothing, laundry & misc The grant includes £50 for your you have any queries or diffi- impossible to avoid having your 105 Travel 50 'travel costs. Any travelling costs culties with your grant then call grant assessed on your parents' Pocket Money 146 necessarily incurred above that into the Student Services Office income, there is no way that you £1904 amount should be claimed back and we should be able to help. can force them to pay their from your Local Education Karen Stott contribution if they refuse. Authority on an excess travel Welfare Adviser The Horns of guilds Uncertainty present's

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BEGINS FRIDRV IBu miDNIGHT*1™ ™m 6: Hexasperation GUILDS OFFICE Page 21 February 18, 19831 I FELIX No Report for Weeks

The College's long awaited residence report will come too late to have any influence on this year's accommodation policy, according to Union President Stephen Goulder. It cannot, he said, be seen by both Residence and House Committees in time for its recommendations to be carefully considered. The seventy-five page report was commissioned by College Secretary John Smith last year, and was to have been ready for the beginning of this term. But John Lauwerys was unable to produce the report in time, and although the first draft has been seen it is not yet ready for printing. This means that important decisions based on the report's recommendations may The traditional British Lion looks on with interest as IC Chinese Society perform a lion dance on the not be made until the summer Queens Lawn. Last Friday was the eve of the year of the pig, and despite the inclement weather and a vacation, and so if, as expected late start, the dancers were well pleased with the result. Weeks Hall is to become purely for the use of postgraduates, it may have to wait until next year. Mr Smith explained to FELIX Dancing that he had commissioned the Mascots: 'Mines is Ours' report because decisions over the past year have been made with Success no firm policy in mind, leading Two teams from Imperial to anomalies in the system. But College Ballroom Dancing Club he did not feel that the timing of came third after University the report was critical, as in his College London and Oxford opinion House Committee University in the St Ives compe- would not be considering it—it tition last Saturday. This should was just the concern of Resi- stand them in good stead for the dence Committee. national inter-varsity compe- The report is expected to tition on March 4. suggest changes in the head The entire first team, well tenancy system—when property supported by a good turnout of prices rise, landlords may sell spectators, reached the finals, their properties. As the College with the quickstep and chacha is committing itself to housing couples coming second, the all first year students, a more waltz third and jive fifth. On permanent agreement with the their way the team defeated owners of the Fiemantle and teams from Cambridge, Bristol, Sovereign Hotels may be neces- Birmingham and Southampton. sary.

UCCA list. As arrangements Alte have already made to have the AP printed in London, it Mailing seems that the Union will have The cost of mailing copies of the to pay this year's postage from Imperial College Union Alterna- its own pocket, as well as tive Prospectus will not be met employing collators to put the by College this year. Instead, the books in envelopes and address Union will have to find about them. Hugh Southey, this year's £1,500 to send copies to 9,000 Alternative Prospectus Editor, is schools in Britain and abroad. looking into several schemes to Last year, the AP was sent out save money by sending the APs with the College's Official out w publk -tions from other Prospectus at the College's colleges. He stressed the impor- The Royal College of Science Union has re-captured Davey, the expense, but this year the official tance of the AP in presenting a RSMU's violate mascot. On Tuesday several members of the RCSU publication will be printed in a critical students' eye view of found Davey in a pink bin liner behind the Messenger's desk in the less extravagant form in Bristol, Imperial and pointing out faults Royal School of Mines. It is two years since the RCSU last captured and from there it will be sent which official prospectuses tend Davey, and RCSU officials have refused to name their members direct to the schools on the to gloss over. involved in the abduction for fear of reprisals from the Miners. FELIX mmmmmmmmm February 18, 1983 BPage3 Insulting and the College should fulfil its phenomena are common, but responsibility to the whole have in the past been wrongly Correspondence student body by financing an explained away as due to Dear Sir essential service. alcoholic overindulgence'. In your last week's editorial Philip Nathan To sum up our concern is you accused me of sending you a Club Coordinator IC Libs heightened by today's prolonged 'rather insulting letter'. Having Dave Trevor-Jones 'gravity surge' which has ex- since consulted various members Treasurer IC Libs tended well into the post- of your staff, the general meridean period. If this state of consensus seems to be that you Publicity affairs remains unchanged we will be forced to complete our were talking through your Dear Martin backside. university courses from our I find in your letters column beds. Yours in anger yet another letter concerning the Yours prostrately Nick Pyne Islamic Society poster crisis. C Boyd This crisis is so major that I Health Insurance A Hurford suspect that few of your readers P Donnelly have ever heard of it. Dear Martin G Elliott I have yet to see any reason in In response to the Forward S Pilgrim the constitution why the Execu- which IC Liberals distributed S Davis tive action relating to the around College last week, we Copies sent to: Minister of the Human Rights Fair display was have received a number of Environment; Ecology Party; Passing the Buck wrong. In this case, and in the queries about the £12 levy which Gravitational Weekly; Dr I case of Mines Review, a petition the College is imposing on Grist, Robert Kelsey; Mary ' Dear Martin of twenty signatures was received residents of College admini- Whitehouse. In reply to Olivo Miotto's stered property; nominally a by the Union. Both cases were letter (FELIX 636), I will now payment for the services of the investigated and the appropriate Pornography give a short lesson in 'passing the action taken. Health Centre. We have in- or Art? buck'. He, and others, may or vestigated the ramifications/ Mindless fanaticism will not may not be aware that both the legality of this scheme and have prevail at Imperial College. Sir faulty films he mentions (Psycho discovered that those in head Yours sincerely Life is curious—isn't it? For and The Tin Drum) are distri- tenancies had no mention of the Stephen Goulder instance last weekend I was buted by the same company: discussing with another student payment in their agreements Anti-Gravity R*nk Audio Visual Ltd. Need- and, it appears, are entitled to a a play written by a lesbian less to say, both faults were refund. The scheme is supposed Dear Sir academic with a cast composed present 'at source'. The first was to be compulsory for all those We. the residents of 37 entirely of women. Mention was due to incorrect splicing leading students in halls of residence but Hamlet Gardens, feel we can no made of a love scene in which to the film being out of sync with even this is doubtful in law. How longer remain silent concerning the heroine is seduced by a man the shutter, and the second can students be forced to make a the abnormal terrestrial condi- and the opinion was passed that having incorrect labelling on the compulsory payment for a tions in. and around, our flat. instead of merely hugging one leader tapes. private health scheme? We refer specifically to the another the women involved should have given a rather more Any other mistakes in the This new payment of £12 has ludicrous gravitational fluctu- convincing performance—even showing of films will be due to been introduced because College ations that occur here. The most to the point of nudity and the projectors, which are the has withdrawn its financial disturbing aspect of this pheno- beyond. concern of Film Soc. Therefore backing. We believe that regard- menon is the ridiculously high Strong stuff, eh? And yet the by simple argument if anything less of any other argument it force of gravity that exists in the person with whom I was having goes wrong, it is not my fault, I should be (a) the choice of the ante-meridian period. It is our the conversation was none other only book the films and collect individual student whether s/he personal experience that on than a member of the faculty of the money. opts into what amounts to a some occasions the gravitational politics at Sussex University— Why not come to an Ents film private health scheme, and (b) forces have been so intense that and yes she was true to form, ie (ME220, 6:30pm, Thursdays) the responsibility of all students, the victim had been rendered she made WIST and the late- and see how it should be done. and certainly not the sole helpless, pinned to his bed and ICWA look mild. Yours sincerely responsibility of those occupying unable to rise. Only yesterday, Strong, eh? When the Royal Gerard Livett the few halls of residence rooms having crawled from his own School of Mines watches women IC Ents available, to finance a common resting place, Mr P Donnelly cavorting naked on stage, it's service. These however are found another resident, Mr C pornography, and yet when the Proletarian minor points compared with the Boyd, flattened against his trendy intellectuals of Sussex principle that College seems to mattress, his face contorted in President watch it then it's art have adopted; that health his struggle to overcome the Yours sincerely Dear Martin provision should be paid for by earths attraction. Simon Curling Stephen Goulder has told the student body, especially in a As conscientious students who FELIX that he would be in city in which NHS facilities are strive to make the most of our Phone Home favour of a system of student so inadequate. university years, we find it Sir loans en lieu of grants 'if one Yet again it seems that our particularly distressing that this I must protest in the strongest could be devised that would Union has let students down; it problem is beginning to have an possible manner at your ridi- increase the number of working has failed to explain what is adverse effect on our attendance culous ET lookalike competition class students at university'. Was going on; it has allowed College records. We acknowledge that in last week's FELIX, in which I thfs just an attempt to be non- to save money at our expense Michael Arthur and his student feel that I have been particularly cornmital, or does our Prole- and colluded in a scheme which services are powerless in com- shabbily insulted. You have, tarian President really believe could be illegal. We feel that all batting this quirk of nature. while thoughtlessly looking for a that an education mortgage of those students who have been However, we feel that the lack little harmless fun, caused three thousand pounds will obliged to pay the levy, espe- of research into this subject is irreparable damage to one encourage low-income families cially those in hall who at puzzling, especially since IC whose reputation stretches far to send their offspring to present have no option but to has amongst its ranks a leading beyond the boundaries of IC. University? pay, should get an immediate world authority on localised I demand an apology. Yours refund: this compulsory scheme heavy gravity anomalies, Dr I Yours Adrian James should be withdrawn right away Grist. Dr Grist informs us 'these ET Page 4 HMBHHHM HrMMNMBMI February 18, 1983 FELIX diseases he described are, to put restrict it to ingredients which They will be limited to three EDITORIAL it mildly, unpleasant. won't do any permanent damage. hundred words and may be For starters there's tubercu- FELIX Staff accompanied by a black and losis and hepatitis, particularly if Exec Torture The position on the staff which white photograph or drawing. the victim has any sort of cut, One of the least savoury aspects is currently vacant is that of They must be presented to me by scratch or spot on their skin. The of Rag Week is Exec Torture. book reviewer; I've received all 1:00pm on Monday February tapeworm Taenia sagginata is For those of you new to this kinds of different books to 28. often found in cow offal, and quaint ritual, on the Tuesday of review, ranging from romantic Anyone wishing to prepare would have no hesitation in Rag Week the Union Exec novels to thrillers to travel artwork may use FELIX facili- embedding itself into a human (technically Messrs Goulder, guides; anyone interested in ties from Friday to Monday (of intestine. But the most specta- McCallion, Grimshaw, Schmidt, reading any or all of these and any week) but must get my cular by far is Echinococcus. Walls and Bishop, but others writing about them afterwards, permission first. Artwork ready granulosus, found in sheep and generally get coopted) gather in please see me in the FELIX for printing by Tuesday morning horse offal. The larva of this bug Beit Quad and passers-by are Office. You get to keep the book will be done by the following enters the human body via the invited to contribute to Rag afterwards! Friday. eyelid. It then travels round to funds for the privilege of Next week is Rag Week with a Publicity for other elections the back of the eye where it watching the Exec get covered in thousand and one different can be printed in the FELIX encysts, forming a fluid filled 'the mix' which is a mixture events in and around IC—far Office (subject to the same bag which has the potential of whose main constituents are too many for our regular deadlines) but there is no room growing as big as a football. This fresh blood and contaminated photographers to cover. So if to allow preparation of artwork cyst contains thousands of other offal. you've ever had an inclination except dot-screening photo- larvae each capable of producing As entertainment it rivals pig- towards photo-journalism, turn graphs. sticking and bear-baiting, being another cyst. There is no chemical up at the FELIX Office at Bits and Pieces little more than delight in therapy for this parasite-it can 12:45pm today, or see me any Hay Fever sufferers can earn £5 deliberate cruelty. As a means of only be removed by surgery. time. for half an hour's form filling in ra^!..g money it is ineffective: Normally there is no possibi- Finally, I have been feeling the Health Centre: turn up there John McCallion, formerly Rag lity of parasites, since offal (and, lately that FELIX is a bit thin on at 1:15pm on Tuesday. Treasurer, has said that the indeed, all meat) has to meet a humour; I don't want to decry Sketchley's, the cleaners, have money raised barely covers the strict standard before it is passed the regular humour features we asked me to tell you they are cost of the entrails. As a means for human consumption. But the do publish, but if there are any testing a student discount of becoming infected it is second offal used in Exec Torture is aspiring Alan Corens out there scheme; present your Unioncard to none. available cheaply because it has who can write a regular satirical when making your order (not This last point is often not passed the test. column, I'd be only too happy to when collecting it) before the (deliberately) ignored. It was not Does the message need to be hear from you. Sales Assistant has rung the widely reported, for instance, spelt out further? If this ritual of Elections order into the till and you will be when last year's RCS President raising money by deliberately Herewith the FELIX Editor's allowed a 15% discbunt. The was very ill as a direct result of humiliating members of the Exec arbitrary and dictatorial rules offer is open until March 31 at Exec Torture. I sent a reporter through mob rule and mass for printing of sabbatical their branches at 28/30 Glouces- along to chat with Dr McManus hysteria is to continue (and election publicity. ter Road and at 99 Gloucester of Life Sciences, an authority on knowing the mentality of most Manifestos will appear in Road. parasitology, and some of the IC students, it will) at least FELIX on Friday March 4. Martin S Taylor

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i_i_0~i~rrrrrri"i 1 1- - - 1 | , , | | R , -'-'-'-'^'-'-OICCC'I'-CC "" ' ' '" r r OICCCOI ~ ~ ~ ~ * » »~ " j _I_I_I_CI_i i i i ~I~I""I~I I , | I I I , , BELOW - - -CCOICCCCOI'J~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "I~I~ »_*~l t*~l I I I I I I I I fl I I l" TO THE CASUAL OBSERVER IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE it resulting confusion at the bar the political wranglings within was re-formed by a former afterwards was most gratifying. STOIC may seem intense but FELIX Editor, but the H G according to next year's secre- Wells Society has always tary Dunal Quigley all the attracted more than its share of committee p-osto '.vcre settled ac: cances of vaiious references in Union hacks. Witness last A NUMBER OF YOU felt (see long ago as last Christmas some the Small Ads and elsewhere to Wednesday's formal dinner Letters, page 4) that we had not two months before papers even the STOIC toad. attended by Messrs Goulder, done ET justice in printing a went-up. Back in the dark days of 1970 McCallion, Grimwash, Schmidt, picture of such a-youthful Henry If true, these allegations may SiwIC was formed by Sinclair Rodan...Not content with over- Sawistowski. So to make amends explain certain discrepancies in Goodlad who has since fallen whelming the occasion by sheer here is a more recent picture the electoral procedure as out of favour. However moves force of numbers, they insisted which, we feel, portrays the interpreted by returning officer have been made recently to ask on monopolising the conversa- similarity more vividly. Lawrence Windley. The consti- Dr Goodlad to be STOIC tion topics all evening, which tution clearly states that only President. resulted in dreadful tedium to two seconders are needed for Now STOIC have just had a those uninterested in who will each candidate whereas Mr drastic reduction in studio time stand for which election next Windley has stipulated three, in making it difficult to complete week. an effort, it is said, to discourage their usual programmes. Do Eventually it became too opposition to his chosen candi- STOIC want to get their hands much for the Chairman Mike dates. on Dr Goodlad's Elec Eng MacClancy, who had hecome One of the most interesting Studio? Or is it a plot in increasingly irritated by Stephen things is that the constitution collusion with the Studio Mana- Goulder (who was only one of was written in March 1982 under ger Colin Grimshaw to incor- the guests) trying to organise the the chairmanship of Mr Windley porate the Elec Eng Studio into function, and by assorted himself. What is his modve for the IC TV Studio empire? politicos each trying to outguess ignoring his own rules? College has recently refused to the others' prediction for next give the Elec Eng Studio to Mr year's sabbaticals. So during his Grimshaw as they say he doesn't speech, Mike mentioned that he While on the subject of need it. was going to stand for a sabba- STOIC, I can reveal the signifi- It makes Dallas look realistic. tical post. Apparently the FELIXI February 18, 1983 iPageS OPINION When you leave (his College the through legislation, rather than More interested in booze, porn and chances are yon will work lor through violence. The only way academic work than South Africa? military defence (directly or this can be achieved is by indirectly) or for a company showing we do not support them You could be neglecting your involved in South Africa (again whether that be financially or it may he directly or indirectly). whatever. responsibilities to mankind. Socialist As scientists we show few So far we have looked at the Society Chairperson Mike Mallick emotions; we are cold, insensi- matter from a self-interest point tive and ruthless. of view but what about other people. Imagine you are a black warns of the dangers of political Changes are Needed in South Africa. You are re- South Africa may be a country a ignorance. quired to have a pass which you long way away, but what hap- must carry around with you at pens there does affect us a lot in all times; you may be expected to this country. Our continued produce it at any time whether support for the apartheid regime you are in the street or asleep at reflects the racial tensions here, home one night; you can be our attitude towards life and searched for no reason; you do South Africa: not have the right to marry anyone you wish; if you wish to work in a white town you must be male and often be preapred to Who Cares? separated from your family for years, and then you must find work within 72 hours; even if a white man is subordinate to you in qualifications at work Dangers of Work? have a unique opportunity to you will earn between six to Some of us have had just about broaden your minds in other twelve times less than him. enough of this College. Most of areas. Many of you come here Would you like to lead this sort the students here seem more and spend three years working of life under a racist regime? interested in porn, drink and for solidly with the expectation of many exclusively their academic going into a highly paid job Mike Mallick Protest course than what their responsi- without considering the implica- For once do something for bility to this World is. Surely tions to society. Someone at the other people, and our own self- someone else and join the you realise you have a duty to last UGM said that it should not interest at this present time. It demonstration on March 2 care for the present and future of be for the College to meddle can only be for the present time which will be attended by all the mankind—to make the world a with politics—the answer I have as the political climate in South London colleges to protest better place to live in. come to expect to hear at this Africa is hardly stable with against University of London's The dangers of porn and drink College. Unfortunately, the lives threats of terrorist action which involvements with South Africa. have all too clearly been pointed of people have all too often been will not ruin just their own The demonstration will be out in previous issues of FELIX. put in jeopardy by the apathy economy but ours and any other outside IC from 10:00am till But work, especially scientific, of scientists to politics, and country with interests there. It is 1:00pm. can fall into this category if no politicians to science. What is far better that we convince the Meet at Beit Arch at 9:20am on other interests are involved. The more it seems as though you South African Government their Wednesday, March 2. main reason you come to wish to remain naive so that you system is wrong: that it is Mike Mallick university is to study your will have no qualms about your undemocratic and unrepre- Chairperson Socialist Society courses, granted, but you also conscience dictating your life. sentative, and make the changes

ACCOMMODATION Anybody who is any good at break- Still for sale) Few left! Oldham heavy Single room in flat of eight in Hamlet ing legs, playing with sticks, or even duty 12v batteries (65AH) suit land- Gardens, yours for £21.50pw by hockey, and is interested in playing rover, truck, van, etc £30. A Layton, ringing 748 7503. the odd game for IC 3rds, just add Physics UG. Small Ads Single room in Tooting, 5m ins from their name (with department) to the Zenith TTL camera, unwanted gift. Tooting Bee tube and buses, own team list to be found on the hockey Boxed, new, unused, 58mm lens and cooking facilities and fridge, share noticeboard j.ist outside the Union case, £30ono. Please contact Steve bathroom and toilet, £69 per month. Bar (from Tuesdays) and turn up on Methley PG, int 3013. Saturday. FOR SALE Photographic equipment, Olympus Angling Club meeting today 12:30 One pair of crotchless red panties, ANNOUNCEMENTS OMIO SLR, manual adaptor, 50mm, Texas, MP, Motorola addicts plus JCR near Alan's Bar. hardly used, £1.00ono, J Adamson, f 1.8. case Vivitar series 1 70-210 mm Chem Eng 1. others: There may be a small expo Would any overseas students like zoom lens, tripod, skylight filters for 26/2/83 Sherfield, IC Micro Club, help free English language tuition in return ZX-81 16k RAMpack, £20. Phone both lenses cable release, large needed. for helping to carry shopping once a Steve Logan, int 3725 or through Aero carrying case, £225ono. Would prefer Linstead party tonite! Not to missed. week. Further details from Student PG pigeonhole. Failing that try 387- not to split. Contact Andy Wood, Bring a friend. Bar. Surprises. Services. 4120 after 7:00pm. Mech Eng 3. Graffitti prints posters, T-shirts, Seder at Pesach—nowhere to go? Mission 700 loudspeakers plus badges, membership cards, etc. Contact J Soc via Union letter-racks unused QED 79 strand cable. Demon- WANTED for company, food and service. stration available on top quality hi-fi, Graffitti needs members to print them! Wanted B&W television. Contact J Graffitti welcomes commissions, £80ono. Contact Alex on int 4052 or Ranger, Aero 2. PERSONAL 373-8456 eves. enquiries, etc, any Wednesday afternoon. Who is the Chem Eng 2 lobber king? Sharp PC-1211 'Basic' pocket LOST AND FOUND Find out next week. computer, boxed, 3 manuals, vgc, £25, Graffitti needs new treasurer—any Lost: Brown folder containing Owing to the great success of the M S Dillamore, EE2 letter-racks. offters? Also next year's lot needed 'Structural Geology' lecture notes. A soon. afternoon of Fri Feb 4. Knobby Page Ski boots, size 13, dynafit strato, reward will be paid to the finder. M G invites all female members of IC to a used for only 1wk, only £35. Who Feel at a loose end on Tuesday or Jones, Geology Dept, phone 731 6301. grand champagne and bubble bath needs crap bikes anyway? Phone 731- Friday nights? Come along to the Lost around Kensington during Field party at the Sports Centre swimming 2487—A Harding. Soup Run at 10:30 in Falmouth Cup: 1 pair of striped trousers; 1 pair Kitchens. pool next Friday between 1:00 and Squash rackets: 'Classic 003', £12ea. of cami-knickers; 1 pair of long Johns; 4:00pm. Bring a bottle of Moet and a Also selection of American-made and, 1 teddy bear. If anybody knows Any free Saturday afternoons? If so we need you to help at the Youth Club smile. RSVP 78 PGM. Manta rackets. See Sports Centre of their whereabouts, contact M at Acton which caters for mentally Pav Kumar—Chatterjee; I really love Squash Club noticeboard for details Hudson via ME letter-racks. handicapped and normal children. All you. or ring Dave 731 6301 late eve. Reward to finder of dark green scarf, you need do is play with them. You've seen Karl in the bar, now see L reg Viva 1200, low mileage £450; K maroon, white and black stripes. Lost Interested? Come to the Community God in an afghari! reg Mini Clubman Estate £400; ring Southside Bar, Wed Feb 9. Contact Action Group meeting, 12:30 every 3,000 miles of almost blemish-free Clare Reader on 0622 29011 (eve) or Dave Trevor-Jones, Mining PG, int Monday in the Rag Office or contact 297 9300 e.xt 498 (day). 2299. motoring—at least I didn't blow up the Alan Cooke, Min 3. engine—disgruntled of Acton. Page 61 February 18, 19831 HHHHHBHHHHM FELIX y ® ® Q,

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PETSAC drools OK Civ Eng 2 6; Selkirk 5: We are back Desired—French inspector to pro- I, eye, aye and igh would like it to be Come and say hellow—the Hand- I Richard Barron promise to dress tect white rabbit and pink pussy cat. 7 scout and 7 guide simultane- known that, although I wouldn't say I some Fellow. 2 2 IC Lust Line: This unique new ously from 21/2/83 — 23/2/83 or pay wouldn't touch Jon Barnett witn a Announcement: The Below the Belt bargepole I certainly wouldn't touch contact service is being operated by £1.00 to Rag. logo is in no way connected with the the Welfare Officer between the hours him without one! Nearl: Had a lovely weekend. FELIX Editor's string vest, which is of 9pm and 7am. For more details, visit Free spandy, for personal use largely above the belt and hemp. 388 Keogh or phone int 2292. All Orlando sends his love and so do I. only—Contact Huw Jones. Chem Eng This week's pop extract... "And then Dear Mr Sheene-Magor, all high applications will be treated confi- 1. the (pussy) cat crept in"—and stayed performance machines have been dentailly. all bloody night! Melanie—Arctic birthday wishes— recalled due to recent improvements the Polar Bear. Happy Birthday Rob: Everyone in grass box technology, yours needs someone to cuddle. Reds out of Inam muppets out of IC Darling rascal (" """1) Have a good qualcast. PS Can we sharpen your Radio? (Or we'll bring in the 'Palm w^efcenH Mr P Swan Sorry you didn't make boys). baldes? it—lo«e Glynis. Caught short? So is the Welfare Will Jon Barnett please contact House Committees my preciousses.s Tim—Revenge will be mine sayeth we know who the wetsss are and Officer, who can be woken by dark- IBDBS Soc as he is not yet a member the Green Hippo. haired beauties on int 2292 or apply Who is the fifth horseman of the we're going to eat them up, gollum Christopher R Does auntie know you gollum...Animal Resident of Bernard Keogh 388 anytime (please?). apocalypse? This and other terminal rape little bears? Piglet. Sunley. Jon Barnett, John Barnett, Jon questions remain to be answered! Barnet and John Barnet would like it Vic and Kiki do not invite you to a IBDBS Soc regrets membership Jane, I love the way you breathe fire, known that they are in no way closed for short while due to staff you're so masterful—Saul Wimpleton. house warming for reasons of modes- being overworked. severally connected, combined or ty. Forget threesomes, try two and a permuted with Diane Love, Dian Love, Cuddles of Birmingham wishes it to aphone, Caroline. Elwyn the awful. The fifth horseman of the apoca- Diane Luv or Dian Luv. be known that he is in no way Christopher Robin will have to start lypse is a FAKE, unless he can ride a Shakespeare reading sessions are connected to Jon Barnet, Jon Barnett. saying his prayers. horse in the clouds! John Barnett or Jon Barnet. conducted nightly by Mistress Quickly Pussycat would like it to be known Mike (Maths 1) best wishes for a Do the four horseman of the apoca- in Selkirk 661; or apply Master Nym in that twelve 2-yr olds are not the sort of happy 19th birthday next Tuesday. lypse require Wagner as well as the FELIX Office. team she had in mind. (PS Hers is a cider, mine's a vodka helicopters? 'How!' to fail Sioux Maiden. Little and lemonade). chief apache. Debbie and Katie wish to be known Renetly Desired—Rust Eater, Chrome Polish as 'footloose and fancy free' (Watney!) Ladies & Gentlemen's Hairdressers FELIX victorious: Catch JCB with cat and Turtle Wax to refurbish unwanted every Friday. PKR beware Dracula will bite back. Discount for students and staff! suit of armour Cut: first visit £3, second visit and after Batman to catwoman: Batstove fully Lots of sloppy kisses. Dracula. The Big Red Beast (not TUJ) rules Pussycat says screw the media. £2.50; shampoo, cut and blow dry: first operational. Try lighting the hatch- the Greenplastic Fiat. visit £4.20, second visit and after £3.85. its flame reaches high. Some are born to Martin S Taylor, 'LWT is worse than Channel 4'. Mon to Fri 9am to 5pm My reply to 'an ill wind blows nobody some achieve Martin S Taylor... Wanted: Boa to constrict Python. Sat 9am to 12noon any good' in your personal column is and some are just told he's too tired! Miss Bunnell, BBC Symphony Club Renetly, 154a Cromwell Rd, SW7 'try washing under your arms'. Bulk distributor of Sellotape re- says standby for £2 in RFH. (Next to British Airways Building) quired. Apply Roger Taylor, Chem 1. Appointments not always necessary. FELIXI I February 18, 19831 I Page7 f J 1CLUBS & SOCfcYIES! and all tied together by one massive climbing rope. Why not give it a go? Also during the week thtuv an' many iiHWt' events, a lot of them being organised by tlx* Bookshop Consoc other CCUs or IC Ents. Keep an eve entl tot these. They include the 'Beer Festival'. 'Smoking Concert' and 'Rag Cluneal'. All well Our next speaker will be ex-Prime Minister known events. News Ted Heath who will be speaking on the Brandt Happy collecting everybody. ; 2 report otherwise known as the East West Rolf (the man with ; ie (vus'i) 1 would like your comments on the new 200- North South Report which deals with the sheets pads, I have tried a different supplier distribution of the world's welath—look out for who seems quicker on deliveries. The only the posters for more details. Chris Patton MP will also be speaking difference from the old style is that they open soon—March 17. Again watch the notice- RSM up and over, so whether you like or dislike boards for details. them, I would like to know. After the excellent response to our recent The bottle match is tomorrow so we need as New Titles display in the Bookshop window, we still have much support as possible to help us win it Engineers Notebook 11 - Forrest M Mims III, available some free copies of Free Nation and back. Camborne actually arrive tonite with the Tandy Corporation £2.70 several posters. Anyone interested should table tennis, badminton and squash being Stalking Point - Duncan Kyle, Fontana £1.75 contact: Nigel Fisher, DoCl. played this evening and I'm sure the players Women's Room - Marilyn French, Sphere Finally, the London Conservative Students would appreciate as much support as possible. £2.50 AGM is to be held at 7:30pm on February 23 (a This really is a very important weekend; as Letters from Afrika - Isak Dineson, Picador Wednesday!) at Conservative Central Office. anyone who has been here for more than a £3.95 Could any members interested in attending year will tell you. Coaches will be leaving from Milestones - Peter Stott, Pan £1.75 please contact the Consoc Chairman John Prince Consort Road at times that will be The Tropical Traveller - John Hatt, Pan £2.50 Patterson, Maths 3 letter-racks. advertised. Strathgaliant - Laura Black, Pan £1.75 On Sunday (day after Camborne—help!) 1 Dictionarv of Famous Quotations - Robin think we've got the inter-CCU raft race. Come Hyman, Pan £2.95 and cheer your exec dropping their brass balls Victoria Rl - Elizabeth Longford, Pan £4.95 in the Serpentine. The Dream Traders - E V Thompson, Pan Tuesday at 8:30 is the IF/Mines Dirty Disco. £1.95 RCS It's always a great event and is in aid of Rag. Heat - Ed McBain, Pan £1.75 You've got to be dressed very dirtilly (?) (that's Master of the Moor - Ruth Rendell, Arrow Rag Week starts at 6:00pm this evening with what Mark told me) or the good looking (Nige) £1.50 the 106 & 1 down darts—if you haven't yet or the fat little (Mark) one on the Exec have Every Secret Thing - Patricia Hearst, Arrow sponsored a player money will be collected in threatened to do something about it. £2.50 the Southside Lower Lounge over the The 50 man/woman boat race is also next The Slst - Michael Stewart, Arrow, £1.60 weekend. Volunteers are also needed to play week in Beit Quad (they haven't told us The Marriage Machine - Gillian Freeman, so if you have a spare hour exactly when) and as we always win it we need Pavanne £1.75 I'm sure you'll need no reminding to attend 9 some thirsty people out to help. Tanamera - Novel Barber, Coronet £2.50 the Beer Festival on Wednesday afternoon Hope to see you all out at Harlington Snooker Champion - Steve Davis, Pan £1.75 during this mega event a record breaking tea tomorrow. Oranges for the Son of Alexander - Levy stirring event will finish and again sponsors are Cheers Nella Bielski - Writers & Readers £5.95 needed. Nige Common Crisis - The Brandt Commission Sketches a:e still needed for the Smoking 1983, Pan £1.95 Concert on Thursday evening—all budding Three years ago, the first report of the satire writers see Eric, the Ents Chairman. MountaineeringCommissio n was published 'North South', a Have a great week after all the money is programme for survival , worsening economic going to the deaf children! conditions have impelled the commission to Fiona In print at last maybe. Well let's hit you with prepare a new memorandum on the 'common the forthcoming events. The meet to the Park is on this weekend, Feb 18-20, meeting as usual at 6:00pm outside the Union Arch on Friday. Well worth going— just to see J perform his now once meetly C & G tricks. The Event of the Year, the Dinner Meet is IC Liberals Well then, what have we got lined up for you being held in North Wales on the weekend of for the week ahead? March 11-13. The cost of the meal is £6.50 Our recent trip to Bermondsey certainly gave Tonight sees the start of the 1983 Rag your money to Andy Mac as soon as possible. room for optimism and the few intrepid liberals Week. If you think that things have not been However if required bring your own GREENY. who fought through wind and rain for a better lively enough yet this term then this is the That's about it. world were indeed rewarded, by the homely week for you. Alternatively if you have been Nei/ H welcome at Liberal HQ, by the odd pint of working like a Trojan all term then this is the bitter, by the hopeful canvas returns; but not week to let your hair down a bit—go on, by the barman who tried to change 24p for a convince yourself that you need a break for at packet of crisps, or the numerous households least one week in the year! with dogs. Tomorrow morning at 11:00am we are To horse! On Feb 20 (a Saturday) IC meeting outside Southside for a 'bed race'. TO Soc Liberals will be joining with the massed ranks This is a Rag collection and was tried a few of London Union of Liberal students to go to There is growing evidence for the creationist's years ago with great success. If you have a Bermondsey again! Hoorah! We met at 9:30am own brand of religion. We all know (don't we) sturdy bed or you know where to get one then in the lounge above Harry's Bar or at 10:15am that God created the Universe in all its glory. bring it along. We also need people to collect, at London Bridge tube station. But the Universe is infinitely complex and its obviously, so why not turn up and help the Rag Tuesday February 20 sees a joint meeting course governed by chance. Thus God decides appeal for this year. between City of London and Westminster our fate with dice. As the whole of creation Tomorrow evening we have a 'Moun- South Liberal Association and IC Libs on the contains so many random variables the dice taineering Pub Crawl' around Hammersmith. subject of higher education. This will start at would have to be of an infinite number of sides Meet either in the Union Bar at 6:30pm or at 7:30pm and takes place in the Brown — but with an infinite number of sides all of the 'Oxford and Cambridge' Pub near Committee Room. finite area the dice must be of infinite volume. Hammersmith River Bridge at 7:00pm. This is If you haven't yet joined Liberal Club or So large that it could contain the Universe, also a Rag collection, the general idea being aren't yet on the mailing list, contact us via the perhaps. Thus it is with a feeling of horror that I that people will donate for the sight of seeing a Union Office or at our book/pamphlet stall on report that six stars, in two rows of three, have lot of students dressed in mountaineering gear Friday lunchtimes in the JCR. been observed at the edge of visibilty in Aries. Page 81 February 18,198Nature3, Vol 302 IFELIX REVIEWSLH legislature has left that ultimate solution to dismissed his lawyer and hired one more Song of Death prison overcrowding on its statute books. compliant to his wishes. In a life when he had There is no doubt, Gilmore was a danger to been herded from one institution to another, The Executioner's Song, Cert 15, directed society; his murders were purposeless. told what to do and where to do it, it is a by Lawrence Schiller, now playing at the Neither victim resisted or threatened Gilmore; decision he can make for himself, the ultimate Warner West End and Gate, Notting Hill. he was a psychopath in the grand tradition. expression of the freedom of the individual. Onto rather heavier fare for the other film But just because a man deserves to die, can we Tommy Lee Jones plays Gimore brilliantly this week. This film focusses on the notorious, kill' him in the name of protecting the rest of in one of the best performances I've seen on but short, career of Gary Gilmore. society? the screen for some time, in a scene during Gilmore is a traqic, pathetic figure. In and Normally this argument is not taken to the parole he walks along with a shuffling, skipping out of prison since his juvenile delinquent days, ultimate conclusion. There are hundreds of walk. Later you see his feet manacled and he has never been able to settle into society. men in the States today awaiting the outcome you realise that his odd gait is a result of years Released on parole once more, we see his brief of interminable appeals in solitary confinement of conditioning. Everything about him, from his downward spiral. He is unable to hold down a on 'death row'. But Gilmore Stopped his wounded mental outlook, his inadequacy with job, he has a tempestuous but fraught appeals. The sentence of his peers was death women to the way he eats is a product of the relationship with a young divorcee mother who and he was prepared to accept it. He institution. It is an immensely strong and is almost as mentally unstable as he is, but who brooding performance. Without doubt has managed to work within society, and Gilmore is a frightening, almost diabolic figure. (ventuaily he is on the slippery slope once The film was originally made for television pgain of petty crime. He steals some guns to and shown over five episodes. This has two try to get money. Being unable to sell them, he results; despite editing it is still long, at 135 decides to vent his rage at his impotence by minutes and the pace seems to undulate as we 1 tiling a garage attendant; it is a brutal, callous, reach a dramatic climax at the end of each senseless murder. Next night he kills again, episode. The film is unafraid to raise questions but this time the game is up; his cousin decides about its own morality. Schiller is shown (as a she must run him in before he kills again. somewhat leaner, younger man) hustling with Mr Schiller must be admired for making a Gilmore's father over the film rights as his son flm which does not seek to glorify or justify the sits on death row, and waiting, vulture like, as man, a sin so often committed by film makers Gilmour faces the firing squad. A powerful and when they open this particular can of worms. I thoughtful work which will leave a lot of think you feel pity for the man, but then you questions in your mind. leel more pity for the corpses he leaves behind. I shall refrain from mentioning how much I'm The camera refuses to dwell on the violence of looking forward to the Thursday film from Ents the shooting, not allowing the audience to History of the World Part 1 as apparently revel in the power of taking another man's life. praise goes to their heads. The last time I Gilmore appears barely sane; he talks mystic mentioned an Ents film a fortnight ago The Tin inumbo jumbo about 'karma', past lives, and Drum, Ents responded by showing it in an devil worshop, but instead of an in-depth study unusual sequence. It was a shade discon of motivation and mentality, this film is much certing. We saw reel 3 which shows Ja>n more. It is a study of attitudes to homicide, Bronski getting blown away in the Polish Post personal and judicial. It leaves a statement with Office, and it is made clear that Mrs Mazerath a lot of unanswered questions in your mind. has suddenly died for no readily apparent Jtah is a bad choice of state to go around reason, and then back to reel 2 and they ate Mowing people away; contrary to the national back in the picture of health. :aw which is anti-capital punishment, the state and barren after the world's three suns were in endure for ever, and the task must be conjunction, and cracked the crystal, the performed by the diminutive Gelfling race broken shard being lost. At that time two races Tricky that, since, mindful of the prophecy artd arose (look I know about genetics, you know with an obvious taste for power the Skeksis about genetics but...) the Skeksis and the have systematically slaughtered any Gelflings Mystics. The Skeksis got on with the messy they came across. However, the Mystics, business of politics and tyranny while the obviously none too enamoured with the Mystics preserved knowledge, wisdom, beauty present government's record of unrestrained and singing out of tune. The mystics are death and destruction, not to mention the guardians of the prophecy that one day the unemployment figures, protect a Gelfling so crystal will be made whole when the shard (or that the prophecy may be fulfilled. 'sherd' as Jim Henson would say) is reunited The story, apparently, was invented by with the crystal at the next conjunction. The Henson's daughter, with, I would, surmise, a The Dark Crystal, Cert PG, directed by prophecy states that it must be done at the little help from J R R Tolkein. next conjunction or the rule of the Skeksis will Jim Henson and Frank Oz, now playing at continued on page 10 the Plaza, Lower Regent Street. From the team that brought you the Muppets with the enormously successful TV series and movie, $30m and five years in the making, The Dark Crystal has been a long "^waited event among fantasy devotees. The prerelease publicity tried to point out that ET had not stolen the show's thunder, despite the use of similar animation technique, by pointing out the fact that this film has no human actors at all, and it was started long before ET was even thought of. There is a hint of remorse that Lew Grade wanted Oz and Henson to get on with the Muppet films and put this in cold storage. So can the team that produced the most unlikely,screen love affair in cinema history, between a frog and a prima donna pig, show Spielberg how it ought to be done? Will we see that our infatuation with ET was merely the twinges of first love, and in The Dark Crystal we will find the true satisfaction of a mature relationship? The land of the The Dark Crystal is dark

Ft uxmummmgmammmmm ^REVIEWS! continued from page 9 Unfortunately, while Tolkein's work was one ET into the proverbial cocked hat It seems of unparalleled imagination which will probably strange that a man as shrewd as 1 cw (."nade endure for ever, this story lacks the utterly should allow a film ot such unrealised potential convincing depth of the other. Obviously to be released. Perhaps he was content to let Sexy Secrets aimed at children, would even they feel Henson have his head as reward tot the cheated by the paucity of the script? There's Muppet movies. Secret Gardens, directed and designed by / cc Paddon no real challenge for Jen, the Gelfling charged Tim Albery, Antony McDonald, Geraldine with reuniting the crystal and shard. A few Pilgrim and Ian Spink, ICA Theatre, The blundering attempts by the Garthim and a Mall. rather unlikely ally in one of the Skeksis who The ICA's Secret Gardens is being plays a Gollum type role, but for no apparent presented in cooperation with the Mickery reason, don't seem to have their heart in theatre, Amsterdam. It was shown in it at all. Amsterdam before coming here as represen- tative of new tendencies in the British Theatre. That apart, it is a visually sumptuous film, It is a very bizarre thing indeed and bears as the Skeksis and Mystics are very well done, much resemblance to 'orthodox' contempor- apparently by a combination of man-in-asuit, ary drama (such as that by Pinter, Schaffer, radio control and control lines. This is a Bond etc) as chalk to cheese or Shostakovich mystical bewitched land; the undergrowth is to Mo/art. literally alive, and strange creatures lurk Secret Gardens is a multi-media piece, everywhere. Fortunately, before anything drawing upon the four elements of theatre, really nasty befalls our hero, he bumps into the design, dance and music. It is primarily visual only other surviving Gelflin who has learnt the (as are most of ICA's productions) with bodily ways of the creatures and plants. Thus we can expression and movement largely taking the relax and enjoy the splendid special effects. place of dialogue. There are seven performers You can see where all that time and money (a mixutre of professional dancers and actors) went to; the undergrowth scenes are and the resulting mixture of dance and gratuitously full of animated goodies. movement with the odd bit of poetry, is stylish, One is left with the feeling that Henson and sleek and sexy. Losf Jockey players and Oz are masters of their craft. All they need is a composers Andrew Poppy and Orlando good scriptwriter to harness their undoubted Aughra -another lookalike contest? Gough. provide good modern music. talents and they'd have a blockbuster to knock The production draws its inspiration from Frances Hodgson Burnett's Edwardian children's classic. The Secret Garden. successful run at the Bloomsbury Theatre Away from the paradise of the secret garden, over Christmas it has now transferred to the along the gloomy corridors of the house on the Theatre Whitehall Theatre. moors echo darker secrets, cries of despair, Le Cirque Imaginaire is indeed an 'imaginary rage and loneliness. And it is in the darkest Le Cirque Imaginaire created and circus' or a circus of the imagination. It is room at the end of the largest corridor that a performed by Victoria Chaplin and Jean- imaginative rather than clever and the evening forlorn, unwanted, disagreeable woman finds a Baptiste Thierree, Whitehall Theatre. witnesses a kaleidoscopic array of quick tricks, crippled, seifish and tyrannical man. There Near the outset of Le Cirque Imaginaire, magical illusions and physical feats. The begins a tale of what women and men do to Jean-Baptiste Thierree blows bubbles and with Avignon show originally had no less than thirty each other in the name of love and in pursuit of a hammer proceeds to burst each one. A performers, but since then the act has their own secret gardens..." Burnett's novel is sonorous 'ping' of a bell accompanies the burst undergone quite a process of slimming, the an Edwardian children's story but with of each bubble. The effect appears magical show now consists of four, the Thierees and 'dangerously adult overtones'. The ICA until M. Thierree gradually reveals a small bell their two children, but with an enormous production moves beyond the childhood of the attached to his belt. These bubbles of illusion number of props, chiefly suitcases and novel and explores fantasy and obsession in humourously burst by a gentle tap of reality umbrellas, the number of which one has never the adult world and what people do to each are typical of the style of M Thierree's seen. The suitcases, worn but brightly other when in pursuit of their own 'secret delightful and charming entertainment. coloured, contain M Thierree tricks, some of gardens'. them familiar and some not: vanishing- Originally designed for the Avignon Festival The adults in the production are chic and handkerchiefs, disappearing drinks in glasses in 1971 by M Thierree and his wife Victoria sophisticated artistic types after money, sex and telephones. His wife is 'cut in two', doves c Chaplin (one of Charlie Chaplin's daughters), and drugs hut unhs one is versant with the and rabbits appear from nowhere. Most of his Le Cirque Imaginaire has gone from strength book, this piece of "isnal theatre is rather secrets are humourously given away. The to strength. The show's triumph in Paris in baffling. It is certainly never boring or dull to umbrellas, and the costumes attached to 1978 led to its first appearnce in London at the look at but it doesn't exactly accost one's them, form a strange people and exotic Riverside Studios in 1979, and after a very heart and mind. It ends up looking like a animals: clowns, magicians, dancers, Chinese bizarre work by London Contemporary Dance devils, courtesans, crabs, giraffes, eagles and or even Pina Bausch, but with little of their spiders. Most of these are assumed very emotional or intellectual panache. cleverly by Victoria Chaplin who dances and moves with the grace of a ballerina. Ms Nick Bedding Chaplin also provides a grave and graceful contrast with a series of breathtaking acrobatic tricks. She walks on a high wire and does pretty impressive feats with a rope swing. Le Cirque Imaginaire is reminiscent of the Records old travelling players (the Thierrees still travel around in caravans) and the Whitehall Back in the heady days of punk, Howard [ " JF proudction is full of spirit. But some of the acts Devoto and Pete Shelley scampered back to are also surprisingly impressive: Ms Chaplin Manchester, having just seen the Sex Pistols in accompanies a piece of sacred choral music London, to form the Buzzcocks. They with an ordinary carpenter's saw (it's so good released the Spiral Scratch EP on their own that one wonders towards the end if this is an New Hormones label in 1977, the first of the illusion) and with the aid of stilts an extremely so called 'independents'that were to be born long and slender legged animal strides across in the front rooms up and down the country the stage like something out of Salvador Dali. during the following yea. . The dual catalysts Some of the animals the Thierrees create are of Anarchy in the UK and SpiralScratch would in the realm of science fiction. The production soon result in Manchester turning out the Fall, also features a singing duck and a toucan, all the Passage, A Certain Ratio and Joy Division. Victoria Chaplin flying high in Le Cirque very good and very original. Devoto split, to form the excellent Magazine. Imaginaire Nick Bedding continued on page 11 Page 101 February 18,1983 mmmmmmm^mmmmmm FELIX IREVIEWSI The 1983 model is a lot more confident, with a at seventeen and live in their native lour coming up and a new album on RCA Birmingham. Terry works in a car factory and called Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This). As Loving Care Cheryl in a shoe shop. They have a council with most duos at the moment, it's basically house, car, colour TV, three piece suite, a cat eleclropop, but with an above-average mix of and...a problem that won't go away. ideas and contrasts, from the down-beat Care by Roy Mitchell, directed by Antonia That is really all I want to say about the Jennifer through the new single Love Is A Bird, Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, content of the play. However, the synopsis | Stranger to the excellent Wrap It up, an Sloane Square. does little to tempt you to venture down to the abrasive funk-up that lyrically explores the This is the author's first full-length stage play Royal Court Theatre. In fact you probably same avenue of sexual innuendo that Grace and is concerned with parental responsibility, think as I did, that the play sounds as if it has Jones cruised along when she invited marrying young and so on. The main all the characteristics of a trendy (but boring) lister to "pull up to the bumper". characters Terry and Cheryl (Peter Hugo-Daly TV play in which very little happens. In this and Gwyneth Strong) met at school, married His new band never achieved the hits they continued on page 12 deserved; a pity, as they were always leagues ahead of woodentops like Ultravox. Shelley fronted the Buzzcocks until he quit in 1981, swopping his starway guitar for a synth, and working with Human League producer Martin Rushent. The new single Telephone Operator (Genetic) is a cracker, a typically androgynous love song, this time along the lines of "telephonor, why can't I see you later?" How do you follow an energetic hit like Living on the Ceiling? If you're Blancmange, you re-record one of the weakest tracks on an otherwise fine album, tarting it up with a gospel-ish chorus and cloying string arrange- ments, like so much rococo icing on a wedding cake. Consequently Waves (London) is a beached whale, bloated and smelling rotten. Back at sea, Pigbag urge us to Hit the O Deck (Y Records). Even the addition of a girl vocalist can't pep up this decidedly flat cocktail of the usual rattling percussion and wailing horns. Making babies? Peter Hugo-Daly and Gwyneth Strong. And on to albums. Who admits to remembering the Tourists? Famous for a reasonable cover of Dusty Springfield's / Only Want To Be With You, their awful albums are WALKA80UT- Beans Means Heinz? currently celebrating two or three years in the It's not necessary to trek off to Kingston to find bargain bins of Boots or Woolies record LOOKSEE delicious alternatives to the humble haricot departments around the country. When they I bean. Branches of Holland Barrett have popped split up, the creative core of Annie Lennox and by Mobile Optics t»e. up like mushrooms, in Gloucester Road Dave Stewart retired to the studio with (on the same side as the tube station but Kraftwerk, Ultravox and Eno & Cluster nearer to Kensington Gardens), at the producer Conny Plank, producing In The Those of you who read this column last week Shepherd's Bush Centre, in Kensington Garden LP and calling themselves Eurythmics. may remember me describing a world with Church Street, Putney High Street, etc. Music for films: Ralph Dorper re-releases fuzzy edges. Since breaking my spectacles, I The shops' main aim appears to be Eraserhead (Operation Twilight) on a four- have tripped my way downstairs, most rudely spreading the word about herbal medicine and track 12"—a curious mix of noises, electronics ignored the, to me invisible, smiles of friends stoneground wholemeal flour. But in-between and music hall. For fans of films only, the most and acquaintances and discovered that life the boxes of Ginseng capsules and the bags of disturbing horror film of the last few years; a beyond the top of my desk is not designed for millet flakes, neatly labelled cellophane regular nightmare. Diva was a snappy voyage the conveience of myopic citizens! (biodegradable) packets of brightly-coloured around Parisian twilight zones, a rich pot- Hunting the Peppercorn beans, peas and lentils can be found. They're pourri of opera, sex, razor-toting punks, and But I can see small things clearly, so went not as quick as the tinned sort to prepare, but style in excess. The music was an added Walkabout in search of peppercorns! can taste infinitely more exciting—cover them bonus; the soundtrack is on Palace. Waitrose, and like-minded supermarkets, in warm water (loz dried beans makes about On a different note, two events in town that attempt to fob off the shopper with small 2oz cooked) and leave to soak during lectures; couldn't contrast more. On Sunday, Laurie packages of ground pepper. These are sold at six or more hours later, bring them to the boil Anderson plays an extra show at the high prices: the pale grey substance they and bubble for ten minutes, then turn the heat Dominion, Tottenham Court Road, so if contain produces a sensation of prickly dust down and simmer till the beans are tender, you've got the money and the stamina, her on the tongue which has little to do with the which will take thirty minutes to one hour eight hour show could be right up your clean, spicy heat obtained by biting an intact depending on their size. The little brown lentils street. And on Monday, the Southern Death peppercorn. I did not find peppercorns at and green mung beans are quick; red kidney Cult play Heaven (Under the Arches, Villiers Waitrose, so went hunting further afield. The beans and chickpeas take longer; split peas St, near Charing Cross station), supported by brief? To find black peppercorns at a take less than half an hour, but as their skins Brilliant, a noisy dub-and-thunder outfit reasonable price and in sufficient quantity, ie were removed when they were split they don't fronted by ex-killing Joker Youth. Heaven is more than 2oz, and not camouflaged in an keep their shape and cook to a 'mushy peas' possibly the best disco in town, exclusively gay elaborate glass bottle whose price suggests consistency. from Wednesday to Saturday, but open to that the cost of the packaging is at least equal You can also improve on the Heinz sauce: straight audiences on Tuesday nights. to that of the contents. I eventually ran a ketchup for traditionalists; butter and then Admission is £3, and for that you get three supply to earth at 'Food for Thought', an spiced with vinegar, mustard, soft brown bars, videos, pool tables, and superb music, attractive health food shop with one branch in sugar (just a little)—Western style; smoky the bastard offspring of Mighty Real and 7 Feel the Apple Market in Kingston, and another on bacon, Worcestershire sauce and tomato Love blasting out of the speakers whilst banks North Street in Guildford. They sell black puree—Barbecued beans. of lights spin and gyrate just above your heads peppercorns in 250g packets (76p), which The most flavoursome pulses are delicious like something out of Close Encounters. The should keep me going for a couple of years. served simply. Chick peas (or 'garbanzos') DJing is fluid, effortless mixing and stretching look like small golden hazelnuts and are used the music, the accompanying laser displays On the way home I meditated upon the availability, or rather non-availability of high to make hummus throughout the Middle East. stunning. Current floor fillers are In Deep's They are also excellent on their own with a Last Night A DJ Saved My Life, Prince's 1999, quality interesting foodstuffs at affordably interesting prices. Baked beans are a universal dressing of olive oil, lemon juice, a pinch each and Forest's reworking of the old Limmie & of salt and paprika and a generous sprinkling Family Cooking hit Rock The Boat. All in all, a constant and, piled on toast, with a sprinkling of salt and pepper, are equally delicious for of freshly ground pepper ..didn't I say pretty fine way to spend a Tuesday evening; something about pepper a few paragraphs it's open from 10:00pm until 3:00am. breakfast, lunch, tea or supper. But every now and then the Heinz variety palls—what to do? ago.'' Nigel Brand I February 18, 19831 I Page II KlII^IIEVVSi continued from page 11 although it is clean and the service is case you would be very wrong. The problem reasonable the atmosphere is purely which Terry and Cheryl have is that of bringing functional. up a family. Despite Cheryl's wish to have a Most of the menu is not expensive but then baby the couple lack the level of responsibility neither is it good value for money. For necessary for parenthood. Still I am revealing example, the starters vary from 30p to £1.35 little about the play. The important points are 3 but although Prawn Cocktail at £1.10 was that I consider this work to be excellent and adjudged good with lots of prawns, the yet it is horrific. I strongly recommend the play Avocado with Prawns was remarkably free of but don't think you'll enjoy it. These are not flavour. contradictions. Care is not comfortable Of the pastas, Spaghetti alia Carbonara theatre. DINOS (£1.70) which purported to be spaghetti with a Peter Hugo-Daly and Gwyneth Strong 1 Pelham Street, SW7 sauce of bacon, cream and eggs, looked the performed brilliantly. As Roy Mitchell's first 589 3511 most appetising. It turned out to be greasy full-length stage play this is piece worthy of a Open 9am every day. Last orders 11:45pm spaghetti with bacon scraps. Now it may well theatre award. Don't take my word for it. Go (Mon to Sat) and 11:30pm (Sun). be that Spaghetti alia Carbonara is meant to down to Sloane Square for this world premiere Apart from its proximity to College (just round turn out as greasy spaghetti with bacon scraps and judge for yourself. Tickets are cheaper on the corner from the entrance to South but this observation is no consolation Kensington tube), this place does not have Monday (£2) than weekdays (£3) or weekend whatsoever to the hapless diner who may feel much to recommend it. (£3.50). that grease and bacon scraps is a far cry from Nick Hill The decor is as tasteless as the food and a sauce of bacon, cream and eggs. Cordon Bleugh must have had a hand in this the chips. Scatter a few caraway seeds on top menu. Curried scampi with rice (£3.95) for of the cheese. Chill in fridge overnight. example seems to cry out for a large dollop ot The next morning, make sausage eclairs. raspberry and guava marmalade. You will need long frankfurther rolls, a gill of Main courses range from £1.70 to £4.70. Cordon Bleugh sour cream, a tin of anchovies and the Maybe the more expensive dishes represent sausages of your choice. While the sausages the epitome of culinary excellence, but I doubt are frying, mash the anchovies thoroughly and it and who wants to spend £4 70 in a dump like by Galloping Gourmand stir into the sour cream. Slit open the rolls, this anyway. drop a sausage into each and then pipe the The Fegato alia Veneziana (£2.40) was cream over the sausages in a zigzag. described as lambs liver fried in butter with The follow-up to last week's romantic evening Serve these two delicacies with Buck's Fizz onions and parsley, which may well have been meal 'is a romantic champagne breakfast for Egg-nog. Put four raw eggs, measure of what it was—I was far too overwhelmed by the two". The night before this meal is to take brandy, half a pint of fresh orange juice and a awfulness of the accompanying anaemic peas place, make chip salad as follows. Fry enough half a pint of champagne (or equivalent) into to notice. chips sor two. Drain and divide between two a blender and blend thoroughly. Serve in long The puddings were better. A good sized bit plates. Pour a generous helping of mint sauce glasses, garnished with black olives. of gateau for 75p was best buy. over each helping. Cover thickly with grated To finish off, serve black coffee with slices of The bill for two with half a litre of wine came cheese and grill until it melts down between toast and marmalade fried in batter. to £10.25 plus tip, but it was hardly money well spent.

j against Woodside. Consequently the bloke. members may only play other we thrashed them by an un- Just to rub in our crushing members during club court time. PORT rememberable amount, with victory, Dave Morris (defender) Germany: Dates (April 6-13 everyone getting lots of goals smuggled the ball past seven BA incl) and barracks accommoda- except Paul and Martin who personnel but he got caught in tion are both confirmed. Max no weren't there. a net. What twit left that there? is 12 and I stress again that We've got another dozen or so Which all goes to prove that members of any playing stan- matches between now and the BA really lived up t» their nan:.. dard are invited. end of term, so if Richard T',,o otl.er dates: March 17 (Rogers) and Stuart's girlfriends 2:4" i AGM ard March 22 can do without them for an hour Annual Dinner! or two, it would be nice to see On Monday February 7, IC beat them at training again sometime. London Hospital 4-1. The score should have been about 10-0, but Python, Richard and Jim were'still recovering from ULU's polo tour to Paris that weekend, ockey and from the traumas of spend- ing the nights in various com- binations with Mary and Fran (tic Lay). Apologies to Thirds re non- The sailing team trave1' d down Tuesday night saw us getting Thirds appearance of UCH Seconds. to the Hamble River to take on things together a bit better when IC vs BA Tonight is the Camborne squash Southampton University last we beat St Thomas' Hospital 6-2 match for which a capacity Saturday. In the first race although John didn't help much IC Thirds took off in great style crowd is anticipated. Next Graham and Graham got off to by trying to bounce the ball off with four quick goals in the first Sunday RSM go to Nottingham a good start but were quickly the ceiling on his first shot. Paul half. Three of them came from for a sporting tournament and overtaken by two Southampton got two brilliant goals. Charles Eldridge who spent five squash players are included. boats; the rest of the team were On Thursday morning, Martin most of the match trying to Then on March 5 and 6 IC 1/2 sailing even slower. Dave and remembered that his passes at \ rearrange the features on the go to Oxford to take on Oxford Kate were occasionally seen to ULU's bisexual lingratory had opposition's faces. After several University Seconds ('Squirrels') be going sideways faster than come to no avail (Fran didn't near misses Paul Dubemski plus Oriel College, St John's and they were going forwards. In the like snakes) on Saturday night, scored (a goal). We were brought St Edmunds. This in fact will be second race Phil and Richard and promptly got a severe dose down to earth again in the the club's first venture outside capsized to leave Southampton of thfe shits which meant that we second half as the ref reckoned London for several years. with an easy win. Thanks must were without our reptilian the ball went past Tim Stocking Important Sports Centre go to Jack for his much appre- goalkeeper for Friday's friendly (goalie) twice...the audacity of news: owing to heavy demand ciated body heat. Page 121 IFebruaryl8, 1983) HHHHHHHHHI FELIX 1830h Music Rm, 53 Princes Gate 1100h Southside Christian Union meeting All Bed Race & Rag Collection welcome; coffee at 1800h. organised by Guilds. Bring a bed. -An event organised especially 2030h Institution for those who have nothing to do in bed at 11 o'clock on a Lecture and Tea Charles Taylor Saturday morning! presents 'Images' a demon- JttL stration lecture. Tickets are free to MOPSOC members from Jon Frost, Physics 3. The Royal Institution is at 21 Albemarle Stree, off Piccadilly. IPERIAI/ 2230ft Falmouth Kitchens Soup Run COLLEGE Beit RADIO Today 1800h Arch IC Jewish Society, Friday Night 1230h JCR Meal. Bring about £1 worth of Saturday 301m Angling Club meeting kosher, dairy or vegetarian 1800h MW food. IC Radio Chart Show presented 1230h jcr by Ajay. Music Room Liberal Club Bookstall. Mem- 1800h Princes Gate bership of Union of Liberal Lounge above Students, Young Liberals and Christian Union Meeting This 0930h Southside Bar Liberal Party available. week's meeting promises to be Hammersmith IC Liberal Club and Union of 1830h Lunch JCR very interesting for Christians and non-Christians alike. They Liberal Students canvassing Mountaineering Pub Crawl ICNAC (BUNAC) weekly meet- will be attempting to find out and leaflet delivery in and Collection organised ing. Look for the stars and how it feels to be part of the Bermondsey for by-election. by Guilds. Meet in the Union stripes. Third World, and what better Also beer, lunch, happiness Bar at 6:30pm or the 'Oxford way than to play a game!— and beware of a Tory called and Cambridge'. Pub near 1255h Union Concert Hall Intrigued? Then go along and Hughes playing 'Land of Hope Hammersmith Bridge at 7pm. Islamic Society Friday Prayers. find out! and Glory'. Wear climbing gear.

LSE, clearly demonstrating our PS: There will be no badmin- great strength in depth. The ton tonight due to RSM using Thirds Thirds are now unbeaten since the Volleyball Court. Apologies October 1981. Who can stop us?! to all concerned. Same as usual vs 9-0 IC LSE Thanks to Jane for dancing on next week. the table in the Cromwellian the other week. Now, what the club As we had already won our needs is a full-scale, drink to the Firsts league by a mile, we decided to death, pub-crawl. This shall play them at chess instead: IC vs Kings 9-0 come to pass on Friday March W B 4 in the Royal Borough of P-K4 P-K3 Kensington. Meet Southside. Here's another extremely lengthy Q-KN5 P-KN3 The rabble will leave at 7:30pm report to exclude Chess Club. QxPch Ardent readers of this column precisely. Guaranteed Watneys- (This report does constitute a We then read 'War and Peace' are no doubt on the verge of free pub crawl!!! challenge to Chess Club at any three times whilst LSE thought. suicidal depression, after reading of defeat after defeat. Well neutral 'sport' they care to B-K2 there's no need to leave the mention.) QxR Resigns, gets Queen's Tower the quick w: y, D Demento and the Motor- Ladies pissed you can use the stairs, because bike Kid spilt the first blood The 'Scott Ooening' combined IC vs QEC 4-0 we actually won a match. Yes!! although Dominic was inspired with ine 'swahili bulldozer Southampton 2, Imperial 8. by a certain Miss E. Zombie defence' never fails! After our Although we were playing in a Don't cheer too loud, you'll Steve and Huf Chrisslet made a hard physical exertions we all covered walkway come dining wake the lecturer. This victory sparkling return. retired for a steaming hot cup of room, we managed to ignore the was achieved without the great Anyway, Honest John and Horlicks and mummy let us all thundering masses and nauseous Dave Gee. Dave had cut his Steve Ching rubbed in IC's stay up especially late to watch aroma of lunch and win in our finger-nails the night before and superiority whilst at the back of 'Magic Roundabout'. usual splendiforous style! The so didn't feel up to the rigours of their minds they could not No, I was only kidding. (Had opposing team took desperate bowling. Superb performances believe 'Scotty's' account of the you all fooled, didn't I?) We did measures in the final game to by Kevin Short, Helen Bonker pub crawl. play them at badminton. Several steal a win over Andree and (sorry, Bowker) and Sarah Best As usual Tony dropped team members were AWOL and Janet by trying to 'lose' all the compensated for the loss of Mr himself to help things along— some AWL, so we tried out shuttlecocks by means of hitting Gee and inspired the geriatrics he did get some nice biscuits some prospective team members them onto the balcony over- section (of Chris Wells, Ray though! for next year. The team missed hang. But our two heroines Cook and Brian MacGowan— Well that just about sums it my creative genius (joke!), persevered and won the game contact via Chem Eng letter- up. See you at the Reading Jaffa Martin's ebullience, and Nick's even though there was a distinct racks) to get out of their Cake Festival and bring your tactical ability. The team, lack of feathers on the last own blow up Llama. wheelchairs and turn in match however, still trampled all over shuttlecock. winning performances. FELIXI I February 18, 1983HHHHHI 13

0915 Sherfield Building. Look 1230h Southside Upper Lounge for sign on Consort Gallery Boardsaillng Club meeting ?door. WLC Prayer Meeting 1230h Elec Eng 606 Pimlico Connection Soc 0930h Beit Arch weekly lunch Cycle Ride THIS WEEK lOOOh Consort Gallery, Tonight 1800h RCS one million and one down Darts. Starts at Union 1800h in Southside Lower Lounge—carries on until Sunday night/ WLC Communion Service 1230h Concert Hall Monday morning. A sponsored competition: Maths & Physics vs Coffee afterwards. Chemistry & Life Sci. WIST speaker from Virago Press talking about women in 1100h More House Midnight Guilds 24hr collection starts. literature and publishing. Catholic Mass Saturday 24 hour collection and darts continue. -WILP? 1300h Union SCR 2000h Rag and Drag Disco in JCR. Come in drag and enter the Wargames Club meeting beauty (?) competitions. Mystery compere. Bot/Zoo 1230h Common Room Sunday 1100h I nter CCU Raft Race. Teams start from Prince's Gdns. Natural History Society trip 301m carry the rafts to the Serpentine, paddle across and then run back again. meeting. 1900h MW IC Radio The Cut Easy Listen- 1930h IC Barnight, IC Exec lead the merriment in the Union Bar. tO/tCk Southside ing Show hosted by Chris l^4«)n Upper Lounge Martin. 2230h Idiosyncratic event organised by IC Exec to keep the drunkards happy! IC Surf Club meeting for Monday Evening Ragarama. Silly games, drinking and lots of fun in anyone interested in future the Real Ale Bar. trips and for all those who have attended past trips. Monday Tuesday 1300h Exec Torture. Come and see the suffering of those you love to hate, Beit Quad. Evening Mines Dirty Disco in the JCR. All good foul fun. 1245h Aero 452 i Catholic Mass 301m Wednesday 1200h Beer Festival in the JCR. Goes on all day with a 2300h MW short break at tea-time. A score of beers and sponsored tea- 1300h TV Lounges The Fifth Horseman of the stirring at the same time. STOIC Apocalypse returns! Thursday 1300h Aerosoc paper darts competition in Beit Quad. I" Find out whose flies best. 1230h Rag Committee Office 1930h RCS Smoking Concert in the Concert Hall. Amateur and Health Community Action Group professional turns of the highest quality. 1315h Centre meeting NEXT WEEK Hay Fever Sufferers Earn your- self £5, plus £5 for the Health Friday 1245h Inter CCU monster boat race in Beit Quad, 150 pints in Centre by filling in a simple Physics one. questionnaire.'There will be a 1230h LT1 2000h Rag Carnival. Three rock bands—the Cocteau Twins, meeting for those interested at Zerra—1 and It's Immaterial. One steel band, the Volcanoes. Four 1:15pm on Tuesday Feburary Amnesty International Life 22 in the Ijalt'.. Centre. Come Binder a Military Junta in South hours of alternative entertainments in the Lower Lounge: Captain J J Waller, Escapologist and Strong Man Extraordinaire, Seething and earn your £5 for less thar,. America', a talk by ex-prisoner half hour's form filling. of conscience, Mrs M Lucero. Wells, contemporary poet, Roy Hutchins, comedian and others to be announced. Three films: Death Race 2000, Divine Madness and Doppelganer. Food, late bar till 2am and video disco. All for Union only £2.50 in advance or £3.00 on the door. Union 1315h SCR 1245h Upper Lounge Saturday Scabnight; a night of slightly more intellectual stimulation IC Jewish Society present Debating Society will debate on with plays, films, etc. Victor Hochhauser. the man 'This House would not fight for responsible for introducing to Queen and Country'. All the West many great perform- welcome. ing artists from Eastern Block countries, eg Nureyev, Makarova and the Bolshoi Great Ballet, who will be speaking I Hall SCAB NIGHT on 'Impressarios and the Arts'. Wind Band Rehearsal Second rtehearsal involving a new pro- SATURDAY 26 FEBRUARY Read Theatre gramme—come along if you 1330h Sherfield >ant to play. at 7:30pm 1 World War II: The experience of \, in the Union Concert Hall German occupation, Part 1 Collaboration' by Prof M R D Featuring: Foot. 1930h JCR The Complete Shakespeare Advanced Dancing class (Freely Abridged!)

1930h Union Lower Refectory Plus: FILMS! 1730h Brown Committee Room PDT Medal Dancing class "The Life of Brian" and Amnesty International meet "Son of Frankenstein" 1930h Elec Eng 408 Wellsoc free to members 1800h TV Lounges Tickets: £1 From: IC Union Office and on the door STOIC

Page-141 IFebruary 18, 19831 I FELIX

f Union 1800h SCR Wednesday Thursday Wine Tasting society meeting This week, Italian wine. £1 to members, others £2. Union Lower Beit 1230h Refectory 1800h Southside Upper Lounge 1200h Arch Labour Club Frances Morrell Boardsailing Club meeting Industrial Society visit to (Deputy Leader of ILEA) on Vickers KTM at Brighton—pre- 'The Future of Education in 1830h JCR cision toolmakers. Travel costs London'. Silver Medal dancing class will be heavily subsidised. See Brian Roberts, ME2 for a place. Huxley 1245h 140 Union 1830h Gym Union IC Third World First film show 1230h Upper Lounge 'Controlling Interests' An IC Judo Club practice, 25p American documentary pre- admission. Third World First Anti-Poverty sents a powerful indictment Action Campaigners meeting. on the role of US multina- tional corporations and their See ex-PM Ted Heath on 1830h Upper Lounge Mech Eng attack on workers of the US Wednesday. Audio Soc Demonstration 1300h 220 and the Third World. Includes DNM are manufacturers of one Conservative Society Ted sections on multinationals in 341 of the world's best and most Heath, ex-Prime Minister, Brazil and Chile. Huxley expensive (a cool £800) pre- speaking on the Brandt Report. 1300h amps. With this and their new 1300h Green Commitee Room Senior Christian Fellowship cheaper version on demonstra- SF Soc Library & Committee 'The Challenge of Marxism' by tion, this promises to be the meeting Rev Andrew Kirk of the London best sounding demonstration 1300h Union SCR Institute for Contemporary this year. Wargames Club meeting Christianity. W1315 1300h TV Lounges 1315h 9 Princes Gdns STOIC Islamic Society Quran Circle Music Room 53 Princes Gate Chem Eng lOOUn 1300h LT1 Lunch-hour Concert Takashi Shimizu (violin) and Gordon Beit Industrial Society The first Back (piano). 1345h Arch talk to be held by Ind Soc on IC Cycling Club training ride Robotics and Automation, entitled 'Automation in British Biochem Tough but fun! Especially when 1700h 702 we overtake the pedal car club. Industry' by Tom Brock, Exec- utive Secretary of the British Biochemical Society 'Dis- Robot Association. Free, all secting the Vertebrate Nervous welcome. system with Monoclonal Anti- bodies' by Prof Martin Raff of 1400h Dramsoc Storeroom UC Zoology Dept. Workshop

1730h Aero 254 Gliding Club meeting Beit 1400h Arch 1800h TV Lounges 1 They may led - '!!- a SC -f STOIC power supplies for a model Cross Country Club Last railway, but the dull exterior League race—many teams are hides state-of-the-art superfi required to ensure winning in Mech Eng technology. Don't come to see, the first division and a res- 1830h 220 pectable position in the second come to listen! division on our home course Midnight Express This week's (Richmond Park). Coach leaves Ents film is the true story of an Beit Arch at 2:00pm. American jailed for life in Turkey for drug smuggling anc his subsequent attempts to 1930h JCR escape to Greece. Intermediate dancing class AFTERNOON IMPERIAL COLLEGE OVERSEAS STUDENTS PRESENT 401 AN EVENING OF ASIAN MUSIC WITH RSM 1930h Committe Room Microcomputer Club meeting IC Liberal Club joint meeting between IC Liberals and West- minster Association on the subject of Higher Education. 1830h JCR CHIRAG*P£CHr1W Bronze Medal dancing class 301m IN CONCERT 2100h MW 1930h JCR SAT 26 FEBRUARY 1983 IC Radio presents Pete Beginners' Dancing Class Trie Great Hall, Imperial College, Prince Consort Road, SW7 Coleman's Show including the New Chart. 3 LIGHT REFRESHMENTS TICKETS £3.00 2300h mw AVAILABLE START 7:30pm 2230h Falmouth Kitchens IC Radio presents the Shinee, Soup Run Shirle or Shiree show. NEAREST TUBE SOUTH KENSINGTi

FELIX February 18, 1983 Pagel5 Batstove is more expensive than Cuddles Barnett" countered Mandy. while Midge made PINCCCMIC the last statement of the evening "Chairman's Decision is more expensive than Rehearsal Requirement." Cocktails for Six "I can see it coming." Tim whispered to me, The Undergraduate and the Porters I bet you all thought I'd forgotten about Mary, "One of them is going to get drunk." "One of This puzzle was told to me by Martin S Taylor, Mandy, Mungo and Midge. Well, it was them already is." I replied. "The eight and is remarkable not so much for the problem Mandy's birthday last week, and we all went to statements that they made are not eonsistent; itself as for its answer. the 'Cavalier' cocktail bar. Tim went with us, one of them made one lie. I'm quite sure she's An undergraduate has climbed out of a tree and we remember the list of cocktails well: the one we'll be carrying home tonight." As it in the middle of a large round lawn. He spies a Batman's Batstoue-keeps your fire turned out, I was, as I usually am in pu.vles. number of porters around the edge of the extinguishers ready—this one's hot. right. Who told a lie. and what was the lawn, all of whom wish to catch him. He is Chairman's Decision-otherwise known as fallacious statement? prepared to run around on the grass, but none 6-Up—the difference is clear. of the porters will; everyone can run at the Solutions, comments, criticisms to me ut r/if Rehearsal Requirement-an unknown same speed. What is the minimum number of FELIX Office by Wednesday. 1:00pm. t'5 irom quantity this—anything could happen. porters required to stop him escaping? Procedural Motion-i don't understand the Mend-a-Bike for a randomly selected entry. effect this has, either. Even if you cannot do this puzzle, please Cuddles Barnett-W doesn't take much of Last Week's Solution write in and tell me if you are interested in this to send you to sleep, but it could be Sex, Scandal, Intrigue seeing more of this type. If I get no reaction, then I shall terminate this series henceforth. dangerous. Ho ho! Fooled you! There is no solution to The four girls were discussing the price of last week's puzzle. This is fairly easy to shdw: Last week's puzzle was an interesting bit of the cocktails. Consider the first set of statements made, and logic: several logicians do not allow such 1 Mary spoke up first: "I do like the drink in particular the first two: "'"he next statement statements as "This statement is false," on the which costs an amount in between the cost of is false. The last statemer t was true." grounds that it is self-referential. However, in Batman's Batstove and Procedural Motion." Suppose "The next statement is false" is "What Is The Name Of This Book" by Having worked this out, Mungo said true. This implies that "the last statement was Raymond Smullyan, which I hope to review in "Procedural Motion is more expensive than true" is false, which is a contradiction. the next couple of weeks, he points out that a Cuddles Barnett." Mandy replied "Cuddles Suppose, then, that it is false. This implies that better reason for disallowing statements is this: Barnett is more .expensive than Chairman's it is true, from the next statement, again a "Our guiding principle is that to understand Decision." "Rehearsal Requirement is cheaper what it means for a sentence to be true, we than Cuddles Barnett," said Midge. "There's contradiction. Even Stephen Goldameir making this set of statements does not help! must first understand the meaning of the a drink whose price is midway between the sentence itself." Thus, 'two plus two equals prices of Rehearsal Requirement and Batman's Sorry to have disappointed you! Nobody realised this, and I'm not running four' is not allowed because we must know Batstove" said Mary enigmatically as usual. whether it is true before we can ascertain its the puzzle again. Try this week's, folks—I "Chairman's Decision is more expensive than veracity. Batman's Batstove," said Mungo. "Batman's promise there's a solution to this one!

Radio 4 presents SIT

A CUE Willy Rushton Barry Cryer OYou don't need usN to anythin g Igo wrongT, repair it Graeme Garden Tim Brooke-Taylor [tell you how much beautifully. And we a cycle makes. also offer a 10% But you do need discount. us to help So even though choose your you'll be A double recording of this show wil next bike getting around) We'll service town faster, take place in it, guarantee our grant and will go should slower. The Concert Hall 13-15 Park Walk, Union Building London SW10, 01-352 3999 FULHAM CYCLE STORE on 917-921 Fulham Road, Monday February 28 London SW6,01-736 8655 WL STUDENT DISCOUNT

Doors open 6:15pm recording starts 6:30pm Free tickets aavailablei from Union Office.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit. Prince Consort Road. London SWJ 2BB Tel. 0I-S89 5III Ext 1048 or Internal 2881 Editor: Martin S Taylor: Business Manager: Peter A Rodgers: Advertising Manager: Nick Thexton Copyright FELIX 1983