Mercy and Forgiveness Grades Catechist Reflection Page Vol

Healthy and Holy Relationship Concept: Mercy and Forgiveness Grades Catechist Reflection Page Vol. 3, Issue 1 9—12

When one is looking at the topic of safe environment, we need to consider how we keep our children, youth and teens safe in various settings and situations. While it is the adults that need to protect all our young people, young people can be empowered and encouraged to learn ways to avoid unfavorable situations, to stop when feeling unsafe, and tell a parent or trusted adult so they can help. This applies especially in our relationships. To build positive, healthy relationships, one needs to develop the virtue of forgiveness and mercy throughout our daily life. This lesson cannot cover all on the topic of mercy and forgiveness. It is a start, hoping it encourages more learning and practice to nurture this virtue in all our relationships – with God, with others, and with ourselves. Reflection for Catechist ~~ Mercy and Forgiveness 101— Before teaching this lesson, the first step in Review this information to familiarize yourself with topic preparing the lesson is to take some time to concepts as you prepare to teach this lesson. reflect on the relationships in our own life. This is These points were taken from Pope Francis’ Bull of the foundation for the lesson. Indiction of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy. Searching  Consider your relationships – the internet with the titleMisericordiae Vultus will allow you to read the entire document, if you desire.

 Jesus Christ is the face of the Father’s mercy.  Do they help you be a better person or hold  We need constantly to contemplate the mystery of you down? mercy. It is a wellspring of joy, serenity, and peace Our salvation depends on it.  Mercy: the bridge that connects God and man, opening  How have you handled hurts in these our hearts to the hope of being loved forever despite relationships? our sinfulness.  At times we are called to gaze even more attentively on mercy so that we may become a more effective sign of  How does your faith help you deal with these the Father’s action in our lives. hurts?  Mercy will always be greater than any sin, and no one can place limits on the love of God who is ever ready to forgive.  May the balm of mercy reach everyone, both believers  Remember a time — and those far away, as a sign that the Kingdom of God is -you asked for forgiveness already present in our midst!  “Patient and merciful.” These words often go together -you forgave another in the Old Testament to describe God’s nature.  In a special way the Psalms bring to the fore the gran- -How did you feel? deur of his merciful action (Psalms 103 146, 147, 136).

 The mercy of God is not an abstract idea, but a concrete reality with which he reveals his love as of that of a Thoughts to Consider: father or a mother, moved to the very depths out of Healthy relationships are holy relationships. love for their child. Our relationship with God is reflected in our  In the parables devoted to mercy, we find the core of relationship with others. Our relationship with the Gospel and of our faith, because mercy is presented others is reflected in our relationship with God. as a force that overcomes everything, filling the heart This is reflected in the “Great Commandment:” with love and bringing consolation through pardon. Jesus replied, “The first is this: ‘Hear, O Israel!  Jesus affirms that mercy is not only an action of the The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love Father, it becomes a criterion for ascertaining who his the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your true children are. In short, we are called to show mercy soul, with all your mind, and with all your because mercy has first been shown to us. strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your “Love is what brings us closest to God. Forgiveness makes neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other us resemble Him by virtue of being an act of love.” commandment greater than these.” (Mk. 12: 29-31) - Pope Francis, His Life in His Own Words Page 1 Healthy and Holy Relationship Concept: Mercy and Forgiveness Grades Overview Vol. 3, Issue 1 9—12 This lesson is designed for use during a class session in January/February. It presents information on some ways that our faith life can help us build qualities of right relationships. This lesson stresses that God loves each one of us always as we are special to him. When we do something unloving, he is always ready with his unlimited mercy and forgiveness. We can receive his mercy and forgiveness in our relationship with him, especially through the sacrament of Reconciliation. We can also pray to him and tell him we are truly sorry for what we have done, that we will try not to do it again, and try to do something to make it right with the person we hurt. As children grow, learn and mature in building healthy relationships with others, they will continue to learn, practice, and exhibit the importance of

mercy and forgiveness with their relationships with God and others. Forgiving others does not mean that we let others hurt us. An environment of open communication encourages children to communicate their thoughts and feelings appropriately and seek help from parents and other trusted adults when feeling others are hurting them or pressuring them to break the rules.

Goal: “Be merciful, just as your Explore forgiveness and mercy in our relationships to Father is merciful.” discern how well we are living in healthy, right, and holy - Luke 6:36 relationships with others.

Session Outline I. Opening Prayer  Opening Prayer (2 min)  Share: Jesus taught us to ask for mercy and  “Forgiveness and Mercy in Our Relationships” lesson forgiveness and to forgive others in the Lord’s Prayer. focus (30 min)  When we love and forgive others, we are followers of  Activity worksheets (15 min) Jesus.  Summarize Session (10 min)  Closing Prayer (3 min) Our Father Our Father, who art in heaven, Session Objectives: hallowed be thy name.

Explore forgiveness and mercy. Thy kingdom come; Explore the use of forgiveness and mercy in various right, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. healthy, holy relationships

We are called to forgive others as God forgives us. Give us this day our daily bread,

Forgiveness does not mean giving up your values, allowing AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES, yourself to be hurt, or accepting blame that does not belong to AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US. you. And lead us not into temptation, II. What Are God’s Rules? but deliver us from evil. Amen.

A Reference for the Lesson, as needed.

Share with the class: “ God gave Moses the 10 Commandments to help guide our lives and how to show Supplies our love to God and others. (Give an example of one or  Pens or pencils for each

two commandments.) Activities / Hand Outs One of the scribes asked Jesus, “Which is the first of all Activity Sheet “Reflection Page” the commandments?” If possible, quiet, calm background music (CD, MP3, etc.) Jesus replied, “The first is this: ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God May make copies for each of the two sections “Act of Sor- with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, row” and “How to Celebrate Reconciliation” (pg. 5). and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other Some materials created by Diocese of Grand Island. Used with commandment greater than these.” (Mk. 12: 29-31) permission. Additional materials developed by Diocese of These are what are known as the Greatest Rapid City. Credit is also given to Loyola Press for “How to Commandments. Make a Good Confession” and parts of pg. 7. Page 2 Page 3 III. LESSON: Forgiveness and Mercy in Our Relationships

Introduction Ask: How would you define “forgiveness?” As individuals work at sharing definitions, bring in the concept that forgiveness is a conscious decision to release feelings of hurt, resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Discuss: When you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it does not require you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability. In abusive relationships, you need to get away and ask your parents or a trusted adult for help. Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from bitter anger by letting go of deeply held negative feelings. It empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you; this enables you to heal and move on with your life.

Lesson Development

Share: Although some of us may have asked for God’s mercy because we are afraid of incurring his wrath as punishment for our sins, this is not our Church’s understanding of God’s mercy. Rather, when we call on God to have mercy, we call on God in the only way we know him—as one who lovingly responds with compassion to those in need. From this we learn that mercy involves being compassionate and forgiving. This is the experience we have in celebrating the sacrament of Reconciliation. When we show mercy to others, we are responding as God responds, with compassionate forgiveness.

As Catholic Christians we are called to forgive others as God forgives us. This means when someone makes a mistake, we don’t hold a grudge and we don’t let it define our relationship with them. Think about what our lives would be like if God held grudges. What hope would we have if God decided that because we are not perfect we cannot be trusted to ever do the right thing. Sometimes we can feel hopeless in our human relationships—when one person or the other just cannot forgive. This is not a true, loving relationship. The perfect example of a loving relationship can be found in Jesus Christ. Jesus loves as His Father desires Him to love and this relationship involves both receiving and giving love. If we are open to receive God's love, then we can enter relationships of giving and receiving love with others. If this is the type of relationship we have, then forgiveness should naturally be a part of that relationship. To truly love another person is to desire what is best for that person, regardless of what you may want. Holding a grudge is never loving or in another's best interest, but forgiving is.

Forgiveness does not mean giving up your values, allowing yourself to be hurt, or accepting blame that does not belong to you. If you are being hurt in a relationship—physically, emotionally, or sexually, seek help. It’s not uncommon for an abuser to act remorseful – to promise to change — to beg for forgiveness after they have been abusive. If fact, it is so common that the “cycle of violence” includes a “honeymoon phase” after abusive incidents in which the abuser often does seem to change and things seem o.k. for a while. Unfortunately, the cycle is hard to break without help and abuse is likely to occur again. Confide in a friend, talk to your parent(s) or tell a trusted adult if someone (even someone you care about) is hurting you, repeatedly asks you to give up your values, accuses you of things you did not do, or blames you for everything that goes wrong in your relationship. Because we are all created in God's image and likeness, each of us has a dignity that no one can take from us. How do you wish to be loved? We are all called to love one another - not to dominate or oppress or use others, but to respect them. If we love as we want to be loved, then we will recognize when others love us in this same way, and when they

do not.

IV. Activity Sheet

This activity is done individually. You each will be given a sheet of paper to reflect on your own relationships. You can write in sentences or phrases with bullets—as you are the only one who will see this. We have been talking about relationships and how forgiveness and mercy are used in right, healthy, holy relationships. continued on pg. 4 & 5... Page 4 Reflection Page

Reflect on your current relationships (family, friends, boy/girl friend, others). Consider one or two that you value the most in your responses.

1. What makes those relationships valuable to you?

2. What are the challenges and obstacles of this/these relationships you would like to see improved?

3. How has forgiveness nurtured a part in this/these relationships?

4. Is this/these relationships right, healthy and holy relationships?

Conclusions: Page 5 V. Summarize lesson’s key points:

 Explore forgiveness and mercy.  Explore the use of forgiveness and mercy in various right, healthy, holy relationships  We are called to forgive others as God forgives us.  Forgiveness does not mean giving up your values, allowing yourself to be hurt, or accepting blame that does not belong to you. After students write, if time allows, gather the class to do this as first part of VI. Closing Prayer; then end with the Act of Sorrow below. Share: In Misericordiae Vultus, Pope Francis asks that we strive for our lives to be rooted in the mercy of God. One way we can grow in this mercy is by being receptive to the message of mercy and love that is proclaimed in the Scriptures and in the Christian witness to faith in Jesus (MV, no. 13). Say: As we go through these steps, keep in mind the reflection work you have just completed in today’s prayers. 1. Open yourself to listen to and hear the Word of God. Prepare your mind and your heart by entering into a quiet space and giving yourself time for reflection. This can be done individually or with others. 2. Ask God to open your heart to receive His words of love into your life. 3. Read or listen to the Word of God. (a Bible passage, lectio divina, or the readings at Mass). Bible Verse: Colossians 3:12-14. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. 4. Reflect on/discuss what this passage reveals to you about God's mercy and love. 5. Come up with one concrete way to incorporate this revelation of mercy into your daily actions or prayer life.

NOTE: (Optional) We did not visit about the celebration of the sacrament of Reconciliation in this Safe Environment lesson. However, you may use the two sections below to copy and then make up and run copies for students that may want them. It will help to give them the steps on one side, and the Act of Sorrow on the other as a quarter-page card.

How to Celebrate Reconciliation VI. Closing Prayer Before celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation, be sure to

prepare with an examination of conscience. We learn this prayer in preparation of our First Reconciliation, yet it is a prayer that we should The Sacrament of Reconciliation includes the following learn and pray daily, asking for God’s forgiveness. steps:

If students do not know the prayer, do it as an “echo” 1. The priest greets you, and you pray the Sign of the Cross. He prayer, saying each phrase or line, and then having invites you to trust in God. He may read God's Word. them repeat it. 2. Tell how long since your last confession. You confess your sins. The priest may help and counsel you. Act of Sorrow 3. The priest gives you a penance to perform. Penance is an act My God, of kindness or prayers to pray, or both. I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong 4. The priest asks you to express your sorrow, usually by and failing to do good, reciting the Act of Contrition. I have sinned against you 5. You receive absolution (forgiveness). The priest says, “I ab- whom I should love above all things. solve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the I firmly intend, with your help, Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” You respond, “Amen.” to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. 6. The priest dismisses us by saying, “Go in peace.” You reply, Our Savior Jesus Christ “Thanks be to God.” You go forth to perform the penance you suffered and died for us. received. In His name, my God, have mercy. http://www.loyolapress.com/steps-of-the-sacrament-of-penance-and- reconciliation.htm Amen. Page 6 A Note to Parents

This week we discussed the Right Relationship concept of mercy and forgiveness in the context of our religious education lesson. We discussed how God forgives our sins and calls us to forgive one another.

In younger grades (PreSchool-2) we discussed ways to show we are sorry, including apologizing, trying not to sin again and doing something to make things right. They were reminded that God wants them to be safe, and it was stressed that forgiving others does not mean letting others hurt us. Children were encouraged to tell their parents or another trusted adult  If they are being hurt  If someone “keeps doing something” after being asked to stop—or after they say they are sorry.  If someone won’t forgive them.

Intermediate students (grades 3-5) were encouraged to think of sin as something that damages a relationship  with God  with others  within ourselves They were encouraged to communicate feelings of remorse and do something to fix the relationship. “I-feel” statements were practiced as a good way to communicate feelings and ask for help in reconciling relationships. They also were encouraged to let their parents or another trusted adult know if they are being hurt in a relationship.

Older students (grades 6-8) were encouraged to explore and learn more about the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy (Matthew 25:31-46) as:  A measure of our authenticity as disciples of Jesus  A way to develop our living as Christians in the world today  A set of “tools” to develop ways one can complete these works as a middle school youth. They inspected the terms “forgive” and “mercy” from a greater view as God asks us to forgive others as he has forgiven us. Forgiving others does not mean we let others hurt us. They were encouraged to ask their parent or a trusted adult for help if they are being hurt in a relationship.

At the high school level (9-12) we discussed how forgiving others means not holding a grudge and not letting the mistakes of others define our relationship with them. If we are open to receive God's love, then we can enter relationships of giving and receiving love with others. If this is the type of relationship we have, then forgiveness should naturally be a part of that relationship. High school students were reminded that forgiving others does not mean giving up our values, allowing ourselves to be hurt, or accepting blame that does not belong to us. Youth were encouraged to seek help if they are being hurt physically, emotionally, or sexually in a relationship. They were encouraged to confide in a friend, talk to their parents, or tell another trusted adult if they have been hurt — even if the other person acts remorseful — as the cycle of abuse and control is difficult to break without help.

“It is in the home that we learn to receive, to appreciate life as a blessing and to realize that we need one another to move forward. It is in the home that we experience forgiveness, that we are continually asked to forgive and to grow. In the home there is no room for ‘putting on masks’: We are who we are, and in one way or another we are called to do our best for others.” —Pope Francis, speaking at a Meeting with Families during his visit to Cuba