Family Acceptance & Youth Transgender & Acceptance Family TALKING ABOUT TALKING ABOUT EMPHASIZE SHARED SHARED EMPHASIZE ACKNOWLEDGE AND AND ACKNOWLEDGE or try the them to reject to force it their child themselves knows to be, suicidal can contribute to depression, health behavior and other negative outcomes. Research shows that when transgender that when transgender shows Research and supported their loved are by youth But able to thrive. they are families, a transgender child reject when parents Our son is transgender. When he was born, we thought we we thought born, we When he was Our son is transgender. it became up, but as he grew a daughter, welcoming were a boy. that he was clear that he knew level at the most basic territory of we had lots difficult, unfamiliar at first, and It was But the most important questions. that he knew we thing was him as the son he knows he is. and embraced loved It can be hard to understand what it means to be transgender, be transgender, what it means to understand to be hard It can person. transgender a met never especiallyyou’ve if that their deep down up knowing grow youth Transgender the With inside. they are who they know match at birth doesn’t living as to transition they can and supportlove of their family, to them which allows be, to the gender they know themselves and thrive. grow • • • • APPROACH #2: #2: APPROACH DREAMS & HOPES VALUES, APPROACH #1: #1: APPROACH UNFAMILIARITY OF FEELINGS ADDRESS Parents of transgender children want what any parent wants wants parent any what want children of transgender Parents members and family their kids. Helping other parents for the unfamiliarity can reduce ground this common recognize and values sense of shared a strong and create they feel example: For their children. for aspirations Building familiarity people—in with transgender the this case, the foundation youth—is of transgender aspirations needs and few people relatively Because conversations. effective for acknowledging personally know someone who is transgender, unfamiliarity initial it is a key first step that and addressing comfortable participating become helping them toward questions or are have who Parents in these conversations. understood up if they feel open able to struggling will be better with someone an honest conversation can have they and that lack of or their questions or judge them for attack who won’t example: For familiarity. , from the Family the Family from become supportive. become Discuss why it’s important protect and supportto it’s Discuss why youth. transgender to took we of the journeys personal stories Share Emphasize the shared values, hopes and dreams we we hopes and dreams values, the shared Emphasize child in our lives. the transgender for have Acknowledge and address the feelings of unfamiliarity the feelings and address Acknowledge when first discussing people feel many that people and youth. transgender 3. 4. 2. 1. INTRODUCTION that family and friends can use to better understand the understand the better family and friendsthat can use to they can support Links day-to-day ways youth. transgender the end of this guide. at located are resources these to In addition, there are importantIn are addition, there resources Gender National Spectrum Project, and PFLAG Acceptance There are four key approaches for conversations that can can that conversations for key approaches four are There youth: transgender build support for and acceptance conversation approaches that can help families and friends families and friends can help that approaches conversation in their build and extend support youth the transgender for lives. own Talking About Family Acceptance & Transgender Youth & Transgender Acceptance About Family Talking family parents, use by primarily is designed for however, an overviewIt of youth. and friends of transgender provides comes in. These messaging guides typically focus on how a a how on guides typically messaging focus These in. comes effective of supportivewide range can have individuals audiences. with conflicted (or moveable) conversations Parents, family and friends of transgender youth can play a a can play youth family and friends of transgender Parents, others who know to or believe guidance in providing vital role this guide where that’s be transgender—and their child might can contribute to depression, suicidal behavior and other and other suicidal behavior depression, to can contribute health outcomes. negative and supported by their families, they are able to thrive. But But thrive. able to they are and supported their families, by them child or try reject a transgender when parents force to it be, to reject the gender their child knowsto themselves and raised as a boy—and often transitions to live as the gender live to often transitions as a boy—and and raised known be. herself to always she’s loved are youth when transgender that shows Research people decide they must live their lives as the gender they as the gender lives their must live people decide they woman transgender a example, For be. know to themselves born though she was even a girl, up knowing she’s that grows (the sense of gender that every that (the sense of gender person knows inside) or gender at birth. sex their At some point from is different expression in their youth—transgender increasingly in their lives—and understand what it means to be transgender, so some parents so some parents be transgender, to it means what understand to support best questions about how first and have struggle at their a person is transgender, When their child. TALKING the health to when it comes is essential acceptance Family transgender, are who people young of well-being and don’t people many Yet non-binarygender diverse. gender or ABOUT they can be supportive. Forthey canbesupportive. example: provide apathway for understandingconcrete ways inwhich who are stillstrugglingwiththeirown fears—and itcan openly aboutthoseconcerns, to those itcanprovide support rejection. When parents andfamilyoftransgender youth talk of harassment, , discriminationandeven family Unfortunately, transgender youth stillexperience highlevels IT’S SO IMPORTANT TRANSGENDER YOUTH — AND WHY FAMILY CAN SUPPORT AND PROTECT APPROACH #3: • • • • • • • • • • • • equally. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.often Nobody treatedable to be grow fairly and upknowingthatthey’ll youngEvery including transgender person, youth, should be andlovingrespecting whotheyare. that we are allonthesamepage whenitcomes to knowing, all, we’re dayto make working every sure ourchildknows themselves theirgender. withfriendswhorespect Above sure theycouldmess upsometimes),andmaking surround using thecorrect nameandpronouns (even though we ahaircutthat after theyliked how inthemirror, theylook wearing,clothes theyfeelmostcomfortable ensuring transgender from buyingthem childmeanseverything ajourney, hassometimesbeen It our butsupporting daythatwe loveevery andembrace themforwhotheyare. is to ensure thatourtransgenderour firstpriority knows child we never want to seeinourchild. but We perfect, maynotbe depression, andotherharmfuloutcomes suicidalbehavior healthy, oneatgreatly elevated thrivingchild—or riskof our childcan make thedifference havingahappy,between parents,As we’ve come to understandthathow we treat howAnd could we, ourchild? andaffirm asparents, support ofbarriersandchallengescould kinds theyface?us? What wouldchild might mean. What like life be for them, and for We were worried whathavingatransgender atfirstabout to ableto be make adifference inthe world. able to contribute andtalentswhere theycan, theirgifts and themselves and their families, to successful, be and to be transgender, to happy, be to ableto be take care of Parents want theirchildren, includingthosewhoare life.building agood a fair chance at getting an education, earning a living, and hard and meettheirresponsibilities, andtheyshouldhave else. aseveryone They stillhave to worksame opportunities up andheadsoutinto theworld, we want themto have the the parents As of a transgender child, grows when our kid TALK ABOUT HOW their future. transgender—have achance to thrive learn, andprepare for environments where all students—including those who are together to helpensure that schoolsare safe, affirming and more parents educators andsupportive are working encounter discrimination and mistreatment. But more for transgender youth. Many transgender students still challenging environments canbeparticularly Schools give situated similarly to familiespermission embrace their Stories ofthosewhohave over takenthisjourney timecan institutions to dothesame? other important and how didtheywork withinfamily, schools, churches, and affirming environment for a young transgender person— educate themselves? How didtheycreate asafe, supportive, them? andhowWhat didthey questionsdidtheyask, as a result—andconcerns how did surfaced they navigate or familymemberwas transgender? What or innerconflicts their own stories. How did they become aware that a friend key role inhelpingothersnavigate thatby journey sharing Parents, of transgender familyandfriends youth canplay a holds for achildwhoistransgender. out. And many wrestle withanxietiesaboutwhat thefuture or genderdiverse youth beforenon-binary they have come environmentto create for anurturing atransgender, gender child’s abouthow andare genderidentity uncertain often and inner conflict. They don’t alwaysknow how to affirm a They discussfeelings often ofgenuineconfusion, concern what itmeant to betransgender orhow to besupportive. of transgender youth didn’t outknowing necessarily start even whoare somefamilyandfriends strong supporters transgender youth. Butunderstanding andsupporting toward journey areAmericans onavitallyimportant JOURNEY TOSUPPORT APPROACH #4: • • • • from bullying, discrimination and mistreatment, including environment. shouldstrive schools toOur protect all students abletoStudents shouldbe learnandthrive school inasafe inschool. fully participate astheirclassmates to that theyhave thesameopportunity equally, andprotecting transgender studentshelpsensure transgender. treated studentshouldbe Every fairly and and prepare studentswhoare fortheirfuture—including afair chance studentdeserves Every to succeed inschool harassment simplybecause ofwhotheyare. should have to live infearofdiscrimination,bullyingor those whoare transgender. SHARE STORIES OF THE

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: We all want our kids to be treated fairly and equally. fairly and equally. our kids all want be treated to We : www.lgbtmap.org Resources, Support Reading & Further Resources, Project: Acceptance Family Children” Healthy “Supportive Families, https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/sites/default/files/FAP_Eng lish%20Booklet_pst.pdf Gender Spectrum Topic: https://www.genderspectrum.org/explore-topics/parent ing-and-family/ National PFLAG Ones” Loved Trans “Our https://pflag.org/sites/default/files/Our%20Trans%20 Loved%20Ones.pdf Margaret it navigate would we about how worried I was transgender. with him. Mike asking some questions. Margaret was the same person I met back when he son. He’s my friend to years old. five Hilary and pursue their dreams. hard, Xander Lucas do. we Just do what know. I don’t video games. play school, John less than feel not made to Not bullied, who they are. visit see the full video, To or . © 2019 Movement Advancement Project (MAP). Project Advancement . © 2019 Movement www.lgbtmap.org/messaging-guides : We’ve been friends for 10 years in in years 10 friendsbeen for We’ve : : Last year, Hillary us John told and : Last year, : When Xander was born, we thought we we thought born, we was Xander When : : Which is good, because I never felt like : I try to teach both of our children to be be try: I to our children both of teach to TALKING ABOUT FAMILY ACCEPTANCE & TRANSGENDER YOUTH TRANSGENDER & ACCEPTANCE ABOUT FAMILY TALKING (LGBT) and transgender bisexual people and the issues lesbian, gay, about conversations building effective for resources messaging this and other MAP download To visit affect their lives, that (Lucas’ mom) (Lucas’

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