Women in the Mirror
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WOMEN IN THE MIRROR: SEEING OURSELVES ANEW A NARRATIVE INQUIRY AND AUTOETHNOGRAPHIC EXPLORATION OF THE HBCU RELATIONAL AND INSTITUTIONAL IMPACT ON THE SOCIAL JUSTICE DISPOSITIONS OF WHITE FEMALE EDUCATION GRADUATES A Dissertation by FRAN BATES OATES Submitted to the Graduate School Appalachian State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF EDUCATION August 2015 Doctoral Program in Educational Leadership WOMEN IN THE MIRROR: SEEING OURSELVES ANEW A NARRATIVE INQUIRY AND AUTOETHNOGRAPHIC EXPLORATION OF THE HBCU RELATIONAL AND INSTITUTIONAL IMPACT ON THE SOCIAL JUSTICE DISPOSITION OF WHITE FEMALE EDUCATION GRADUATES A Dissertation By FRAN BATES OATES August 2015 APPROVED BY: _________________________________________ Vachel Miller, Ed.D. Chairperson, Dissertation Committee _________________________________________ Christopher Osmond, Ph.D. Member, Dissertation Committee ________________________________________ Brandy Wilson, Ph.D. Member, Dissertation Committee ________________________________________ Vachel Miller, Ed.D. Interim Director, Educational Leadership Doctoral Program ________________________________________ Max C. Poole, Ph.D. Dean, Cratis D. Williams Graduate School Copyright by Fran Bates Oates 2015 All Rights Reserved Abstract WOMEN IN THE MIRROR: SEEING OURSELVES ANEW A NARRATIVE INQUIRY AND AUTOETHNOGRAPHIC EXPLORATION OF THE HBCU RELATIONAL AND INSTITUTIONAL IMPACT ON THE SOCIAL JUSTICE DISPOSITION OF WHITE FEMALE EDUCATION GRADUATES Fran Bates Oates B.S., Winston-Salem State University M.A., Appalachian State University Ed.S., Appalachian State University Ed.D., Appalachian State University Chairperson: Vachel Miller, Ed.D. Historically Black colleges and universities have long been recognized for their mission and rich legacy of providing education for African American students. Traditionally known as HBCUs, these Black colleges and universities have been the heart of Black racial identity development with their distinctiveness and unique ability to raise cultural awareness of Black students. The literature indicates that HBCUs have traditionally provided positive and stimulating environments for both Black and White students. Accordingly, HBCUs may serve as institutions that can help White students develop positive social justice dispositions for an inclusive society. The purpose of this research was to learn how matriculation at one HBCU impacted White female education graduates as they developed their social justice dispositions to teach all students. I argue that much can be learned from exploring the experiences of White females and their perceptions of race and racism when they become temporary minorities at iv HBCUs. Research confirms that we know little about the stories of White female education graduates and how the HBCU impacted their beliefs and values about teaching African American students and other students of color. This study is a narrative inquiry and autoethnographic examination of the historical racial identity impact one Southeastern HBCU had on its White female education graduates’ social justice disposition for teaching. To ascertain the impact, White female education graduates tell their stories about their racial development before, during and after attending the HBCU. As a participant and the researcher, I parallel my story of racial identity development and write my autoethnography about the impact of attending the same HBCU as an African American female education graduate. I examine how I raised my level of consciousness and cultural awareness of my Blackness to prepare to teach White students. Coupled with that is an examination of White female education graduates’ level of consciousness of their Whiteness and their preparation to teach African American students and other students of color. I conclude that the stories contain valuable insights for HBCU teacher education preparation programs regarding their impact on White female education graduates’ social justice dispositions. In particular, the research examines how White female education graduates learned to see themselves as White, and see their Whiteness from perspectives of people of color; how they look into the mirror, see themselves, and through the image they see, reframe their lens to see and understand others. v Dedication And what is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth. It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house. It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit. It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit, And to know that all the blessed dead who have gone on are standing about you and watching. Excerpt from “On Work” Kahlil Gibran, 2014 The Prophet, p. 38 For my Father, Fermon Alexander Bates (1927-1968) My God Father, Wyatt U. Collins (1927-1997) My Brother, Edgar L. Murchison, Jr. (1949-1992) My Friend, Larry D. Fields (1947-2002) Thank you for showing me how to work with love! vi Acknowledgements I begin with acknowledging God’s presences in this work. He has given me an incredible mind for which I am grateful. Two pieces of literature have been my guide as I made this journey. The first is Jeremiah 29:11“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (New International Version). The second one describes me as I am becoming the woman I long to be with beautiful gray hair expressing the depths of my wisdom and my heart and soul with which I have plenty, plenty to share. I find myself being more and more comfortable with my life and my soft curves. I am more patient in the waiting and more knowing and stronger in my faith that God has the perfect plan for me and this work. My experiences are making me full and expectant of life and love. Finding Her Here by Jayne Relaford Brown I am becoming the woman I've wanted, grey at the temples, soft body, delighted, cracked up by life with a laugh that's known bitter but, past it, got better, knows she's a survivor-that whatever comes, she can outlast it. I am becoming a deep weathered basket. I am becoming the woman I've longed for, the motherly lover with arms strong and tender, the growing daughter who blushes surprises. I am becoming full moons and sunrises. I find her becoming, this woman I've wanted, who knows she'll encompass, who knows she's sufficient, knows where she's going and travels with passion. Who remembers she's precious, but knows she's not scarce- who knows she is plenty, plenty to share. vii Love, support, encouragement and prayers have come from many people who traveled with me along this journey. I am grateful for my committee, Dr. Vachel Miller and Dr. Chris Osmond, two brilliant men who understood my vision and believed in my passion from the very first day I spoke it. I am grateful to Dr. Brandy Wilson, the brilliant woman on my committee with whom I share a kindred spirit of social justice advocacy; who listened, mentored me through this project, asked the hard questions and kept me detailed and ready to defend my stance; who knew I was a survivor and knew whatever came I would out last it. Thanks to Dr. Kelly Clark/Keefe who introduced me to autoethnography, shared my passion for writing, and understood my advocacy. She knew words were my wings to fly. Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings. I am grateful for my pastor, Bishop Sir Walter L. Mack, Jr. and my Associate Pastor, Dr. McCullough for the stream of prayers. Thank you to my HBCU faculty colleagues who knew what I was going through and encouraged me anyway. To my brilliant, beautiful Black DIVAS Sisters who are Distinguished Intellectual Virtuous Academic Sisters for their continuous support. Thank you to my One to One Women Coaching Women sisters and my life coaches and friends, Penny Hazen and Tammy Stark who reminded me to celebrate every small step. Thank you to The Forsyth Cohort, especially my writing partners Joe Rick, Brooksie Broome, and Nakeisha Dawson. It was worth the trips up the mountain for peace and quiet to write. Our friendship is a bond in this work for ever. Special thanks to all of my girlfriends, The Roundtable, who have been with me through everything I have experienced in my adult life. Thank you to Patsy Adams for my every day, anytime call and Burnadette Pegeuese for helping me dominate this challenge through your prayers and friendship. Thank you, Rick Clark, for calling me and telling me to go to the table and write every day. I stayed at that table until I finished. Now I do have plenty, plenty to share. To my prayer partner, Brenda Murphy, who called and prayed with me every night at 8:30 pm, the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. viii To my students at the HBCU who sent their energy to me and asked me how I was progressing to remind me to persevere. I am in this work for you. To all of my family, my Uncle Brother, James Chandler, who is like a father to me. Thank you for traveling to my defense and believing in me, but most of all for being proud of my accomplishments. Thank you to all of my cousins who invested in me and showered me with their love in celebration. To my sister, Montez Bates, thank you for understanding the sacrifices and for calling me every morning to wish me a great day even after I had been up all night for nights. To my Mommy, Ermine Barnes, you always encouraged me to be the best that I could be and to reach the highest goals I wanted to achieve.