Different Doorway Adventures of a Cesarean Born
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Different Doorway Adventures of a Cesarean Born by Jane Butterfield English - 1 - Earth Heart P. 0. Box 1027 Point Reyes Station, CA 94956 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. Copyright © 1985 by Jane Butterfield English Printed in the United States of America Editing: Jo Imlay & Cynthia Frank Typesetting: Cynthia Frank & John Fremont - Comp -Type, Fort Bragg, CA. Design: Chuck Hathaway, Mendocino Graphics, Fort Bragg, CA. Printing: Skillful Means Press- Oakland, CA. Acknowledgments to the following for generously granting permission for quotes and reproductions: To Maxwell-Aley Associates for the quote from The Brain Revolution quoted in the February 13, 1972 journal entry. To Parents Place, of Jewish Family and Children’s Services, San Francisco for material from the May/Jun e 1979 issue of their newsletter, “Offspring,” quoted in the June 2, 1979 journal entry. To The Mansell Collection, London, England for the Hieronymus Bosch paint- ing To Rosemary Hayes for her paintings To Nancy Rosser-Hutchins for her drawing To John Henze for the photograph of the author. (All other paintings, drawings, and photographs are by the author.) Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data English, Jane Butterfield Different Doorway Adventures of a Cesarean Born Bibliography: p. 140 1. English, Jane. 2. Cesarean birth- Psychological aspects. 3. Cesarean birth-Social aspects. 4. Cesarean birth-Spiritual aspects 5. Consciousness. 6. Mind and body. I. Title. RG761.E541985 362.1’ 9886 85- 80840 ISBN 0-934747-38-5 ISBN 0-934747-39-3 (pbk.) - 2 - DEDICATION to my mother On childhood walks in the woods she led me off the beaten path in search of small adventures. She also insisted I learn to climb mountains. Much of what I learned then I now see as basic training for the inner adventuring that has led to my writing this book - 3 - List of Illustrations Pink Teddy 30 Keystone Park (dream) 31 The Well 38 The Ether Demon 39 The Castle Opening 41 Baseball Field (dream) 42 Female Demon (dream) 46 Crone with Lantern 52 Boston (dream) 61 Shining New Person 66 Bottle (dream) 67 Lighted Shadows (dream) 68 “This is Caesarean Birth” (dream) 71 Birth Poem Photograph 78 Joint Jane (dream) 81 Initiation (dream) 82 Falling into Physical Form (“The Well” by Jane English) 83 Floating out of Physical Form (“Ascent to the Empyrean” by Hieronymus Bosch) 83 Squash Plant (dream) 91 The Wound (by Rosemary Hayes) 130 The Firebird (by Rosemary Hayes) 133 Butterfly (by Rosemary Hayes)· 134 Fire Tree (by Rosemary Hayes) 135 Buddha (by Rosemary Hayes) 136 Umbilical (by rosemary Hayes) 137 Lifted Out With Love (by Nancy Rosser-Hutchins) 124 Apples 166 Apples and Banana 166 - 4 - Table of Contents Foreword—Stanislav Grof, M.D., Ph.D. 7 Prologue—Being at a Cesarean Delivery 9 Part I—The Territory 13 “Caesarean Born” as a Conceptual Tool 13 Inner Exploration 14 Reality 15 The Story 17 Part II—The Journey 21 Chapter 1—Fire: Initiation 23 Chapter 2—Water: Inner Depths 27 Chapter 3—Air: Ideas and More Adventures 49 Chapter 4—Seeds of Transformation 65 Chapter 5—Earth: Transformation and Healing 89 Part III—Fellow Travelers 111 Marilee James King-caesarean born therapist 112 Natalie Ednie-mother of seven vaginally born children 119 Thomas Ednie, M.D.-psychiatrist 124 Rosemary (Hayes) Jellison-caesarean born artist 129 Bruce King & Marilee James King-vaginally born/ caesarean born couple 138 Dennis McCracken-caesarean born social worker 144 Jody Longnecker-caesarean born 146 Sandy Hastings-potential caesarean mother 147 Gayle Carlton-caesarean born rebirther 154 Anne Stine-caesarean born therapist 160 Part IV—The Journey in Perspective and the Path Ahead 165 Annotated Bibliography 170 - 5 - The author of the following Foreword, Stanislav Grof, M.D., Ph.D., is a psychiatrist who for thirty years has re- searched non-ordinary states of consciousness. He was born in Czechoslovakia where he received his scientific training. One of the founders of transpersonal psychology, he is founder of Holotropic Breathwork, and is author of numerous books and articles in professional journals. - 6 - Foreword by Stanislav Grof, M.D., Ph.D. How one is born seems to be closely related to one’s general attitude toward life, the ratio of optimism to pessimism, how one relates to other people, and one’s ability to confront challenges and conduct projects. It is astounding that the nature and duration of birth has been ignored almost entirely by Western psychologists and psychiatrists. When birth was studied at all, the studies were more concerned about possible perinatal brain damage than the emotional significance of birth. Until quite recently, only a few studies explored the psychological significance of birth and of cesarean section, in particular. This is especially alarming in view of the fact that since the advent of fetal monitoring which detects the slightest signs of fetal distress and be- cause of increasing fear of malpractice suits, the rate of cesarean birth in some hospitals has skyrocketed to 40 percent. It is imperative that we learn about the psychological and social implications of such a drastic change in childbirth patterns. Particularly relevant are the differences among individuals born by non-labor cesarean section, uncomplicated vaginal delivery, difficult vag- inal birth, and emergency cesarean section. How do they differ in their basic personality, incidence of various emotional and psychosomatic disor- ders, life attitudes and strategies, interpersonal relationships, and political, philosophical and religious beliefs? Jane English’s research on being born non-labor cesarean represents a tru- ly pioneering venture; she has sketched a much-needed first map of previ- ously uncharted territories. She is particularly well-equipped to accomplish this difficult task. Being cesarean born, she has the necessary sensitivity, deep personal interest and motivations. Having had rigorous training in physics, she is well acquainted with the principles of scientific investigation and thinking. On the other hand, her personal experiences and interest in the new paradigms in science give her the freedom to explore new ar- eas without the strait-jacket of traditional concepts of mechanistic science. Many of her conclusions based on experiential impression can provide in- spiration for future controlled studies. This book may provide an incentive - 7 - for future explorers and researchers to map systematically this important territory of the psyche. One’s overall life strategy can be deeply influenced by psychological work that includes the perinatal level of the unconscious. Under proper circum- stances, reliving biological birth and integrating the experience into one’s way of being seems to offer possibilities of psychosomatic healing, person- ality transformation and consciousness evolution that by far exceed therapy limited to work with biographical material from childhood and later life. Since I was a facilitator in an important stage of Jane’s personal quest, I particularly appreciate the value of her book for therapists. I learned im- portant lessons from our often frustrating efforts to apply to her process the experiences and principles derived from work with vaginally born peo- ple. It is a tribute to her introspective ability and intelligence that she was able to identify the specifics of the cesarean personality in her own process, validate them by independent observations and formulate them in a way that will help others to avoid the pitfalls with which we struggled. In a process that is by its nature preverbal and reveals itself through experi- ences which are hard to describe in words, any alternative mode of commu- nication is of great value. The author’s ability to express her personal journey through pictorial art adds an important dimension to her work. Although Different Doorway will be of primary interest to cesareans, its significance is much more basic. Exploring the profound programming imposed on us by our early history is of great interest to all those interested in serious self-exploration, therapy, and philosophical and spiritual quests. Experiential confrontation with birth and death function as a gateway to a vast domain of the human psyche that can be best described as tran- spersonal. It includes ancestral, collective and past incarnation memories; archetypal visions and entire mythological sequences; authentic identifi- cation with animals and plants; and extrasensory perception. We can no longer ignore the fact that the spiritual or transpersonal dimension is an inherent property of the human psyche. Experiential work on prenatal and perinatal issues seems to lead to a new type of human being. Such a person has the capacity to appreciate and enjoy existence and shows deep spiritual feelings about the world. He or she has reverence for life, tolerance toward others, and understanding of interdependence in nature and society. This has far-reaching implications for the current global crisis and suggests alternatives to current strategies. - 8 - Prologue At a cesarean delivery - Summer 1983 My interest in cesarean birth began in 1973. Ten years later in 1983, I finally had the opportunity to see a cesarean delivery. My own birth was non-labor cesarean, and pictures and images of cesare- an births had evoked strong reactions in me. I wondered what it was going to be like to actually see a cesarean birth. An obstetrician friend of mine who is herself cesarean-born invited me to watch her doing a cesarean. I had never seen surgery, but having been present at two home births, I had some experience of what it feels like to witness a child being born. The incredible opening to the infinite. The sense of something extraordinary happening.