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T~E ETRIE R WEEKLY "The story of news is the story of our need to know and our need to tell, of many voices struggling to be heard." -- Eric Newton

Volume XXXIII, Number 3 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 September 15, 1998 Telescope Research Park Soon to Be Infrastructure Set Available Despite Pending Appeals, BRAD BENNETT Construction Continues Retriever Weekly Staff Writer PAT FURGURSON Organization Vice-President and The new Physics building, sched­ Retriever Weekly Staff Writer former Baltimore County council­ uled to open next fall, will provide woman Berchie Manley said the students with access to one of the Although still facing a legal chal­ group is appealing for several rea­ most technologically advanced tele­ lenge from local opponents, the sons, but mostly because the project scopes in the area as well as offer UMBC Research Park's infrastruc­ did not follow county and state other new and improved resources ture construction is nearly complete regulations. Cutting corners on never before available in the Chem­ and park officials are in negotia­ regulations "is typical of Baltimore istry/Physics building, according to tions with a private development County issues with political clout, Dr. Geoffrey P. Summers, chair of company to build a multi-tenant which UMBC certainly has," the Physics Department. facility on the property just off Manley said of the appeal's conten­ Summers believes the telescope, UMBC Boulevard. tion. in addition to the building's other More than 10 years since its ini­ Manley stated that she is not op­ resources, will enhance the quality tial inception, the Research Park posed to the research park itself, but ofUMBC's new minor program in currently faces an appeal filed with to the location and the ecological astronomy which is scheduled to be the Court of Special Appeals in sensitivity of the area where it will offered to students next fall. Annapolis by the Coalition for the be built. "They could put it over "The whole telescope can be con­ Preservation of Southwest Balti­ near BWI or Route 1," she added. trolled by computer," explained more County. Last December Bal­ Even with the numerous appeals Summers. "The software that timore County Circuit Court Judge the park has faced, Ellen Wiggins, comes with it is such that we can Jason Putsche I Retriever Weekly Staff Robert Cahill, Sr. found in favor of the executive director of the UMBC essentially dial in the astronomical Crowded Campus: Students lined up outside the UC last week the Research Park in an appeal filed Research Park Corporation, is not coordinates of what you want to to show interest in the numerous student groups that were by the activists after the County worried. · represented at the Organization Fair. Board of Appeals ruled against see TELESCOPE, page 3 them. see RESEARCH PARK, page 2 Campus Police Change Location Resident Students Concerned about Accessibility

ANNA KAPLAN along with the construction of a new tion will be easier for campus visi­ Retriever Weekly Staff Writer physics building, is part of a cam­ tors to find, explaining that cur­ pus "clean-up" program. The build-· rently it is confusing for those un­ Campus police, currently housed ing now occupied by the police will familiar with the campus to find the in a building located off Walker be destroyed and the area will be a small building relatively distant Avenue between the library and used in part for a new intramural from the main campus and aca- · Susquehanna Hall, are preparing to athletic field and in part as a "green demic buildings. change their location, according to area" of open space. The new Central Plant location Leland Beitel, assistant vice presi­ David Yohman, chief of campus will provide visitors with easy-ac­ dent for Administrative Affairs. police, believes the move will help cess information due to its proxim­ The department will be moving the area around the library appear ity to the Walker Avenue and Hill­ to the Central Plant building, lo­ cleaner and less cluttered. top Circle intersection, Beitel said. cated behind Fine Arts, as early as The current police building was From this point, officers can direct November, said Beitel. However, originally a temporary facility that visitors towards their destination he explained "there may be some no one ever replaced, but the Cen­ with greater ease and provide traf­ delays," as plans have not yet been tral Plant building has permanency fic control. In addition, visitors will · Brian Mackey I Retriever Weekly Staff finalized. that the old one does not, said Signs of Change: Ten years after its initial inception, the Research According to Beitel, the move, Beitel. He noted that the new loca- see POLICE, page 4 Park infrastructure construction is nearly complete. " PAGE2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS September 15, 1998

I.-. ~:ri_e:C

Research Associateship Program must be paid by October 7, 1998. women are particularly encouraged to use the The National Research Council announces Research and teaching assistants have the space when on campus. The Women's Cen­ the· 1999 Postdoctoral and Senior Research option of enrolling in other university insur­ ter, located on the second floor of Gym I, has Associateship Programs to be conducted on ance plans for employees. a room for discussions, organization meet­ behalf of over 120 research laboratories For more information about the health in­ ings and small classes. Rivkin and throughout the Unites States representing surance plan for international students, please Rowe welcome inquiries about use of the nearly all U.S. Government agencies with contact or stop by Student Health Services at space for programs relevant to women's lives. Parents Praised by Teachers research facilities. x2542 or Internation3.1. Education Services at Please call them at x2714. Many teachers say parents are making· The Women's Center, the Women's Stud­ the grade when it comes to·getting involved The programs provide opportunities for x2624. in their children's education, according to Ph.D., Sc.D. orM.D. scientists .andengineers ies. Program (WMST) and the Center for ~ recent study. of unusual promise and ability to perform New Shuttle Times Women and Information Technology (CWIT) The newest Metropolitan Life Survey of · research on problems· largely of_ their. own The UMBC Green Line shuttle bus has are three separate entities at UMBC, although the American Teacher reported that com­ choosing yet compatible with the research added 2 route times to its schedule: 7:20 p.m. their staffs collaborate. pared with a decade, teachers today have interests of the sponsoring laboratory. · and 9:20 p.m. The later time will not operate higher expectations of parents and encour­ · Approximately 350 new · full-time on Friday evenings. Search for EHSA age more involvement in education, both A.ssociateships will be awarded on a com­ ·Beginning Monday, September 14, the Director·of Special Projects . at school and at home. The findings of the . petitive basis in 1999 for research in a vari-­ Green Line will also add two evening routes, The Emergency Health Services Associa­ study, "Building Family-School Partner­ ety of scientific fields. Most of the laborato­ Monday through Friday. tion is looking for someone to take the posi­ ships: Views of Teachers and Students,_" validate recent U.S. Department of Educa­ ries are open to both U.S. and nan-U.S. na­ For additional information, contact the tion Director of Special Projects. This posi­ tion initiatives to form stronger connections tionals ~ and both receJ}.~ qoctoral recipients UMBC Shuttle at x2454. tion currently is responsible for such tasks as between teachers and parents. and senior investigators. · organizing EHSA stand-bys and ordering all Most teachers from the survey would Applications, submitted diiectly to the Positions Filled at Women's Center EHSA apparel. Nominations will be accepted like to see parental involvement increase. National Research Council .. are accepted on Mary Riv~n. :Associate Professor of Edu­ throughout all of this week. An election will The vast majority of teachers believe that a continuous basis throughout the year. For cation, and Doniia Rowe; Lecturer in Ameri- be held following the next general meeting involving parents on management teams_to information on specific research opportuni- . can Studies/Women's Studies, have accepted on Monday, September 28. determine school policies would be valu.­ - ties and participating federal laboratories, as. positions as interim and associate directors, EHSA general meetings will be held ap­ able. However, most educators still be­ wel! as application materials, contact the respectively, of the UMBC Women's Center proximately every other week, same time, lieved that parents should be informed, but National Research Council Associateship (WC). place and weekday. This year, a key focus of not actively consulted, about changes in class curriculum and homework policies.· Program TJ 2114/D 1 at 2101 Constitution Ri".kin ·and Rowe expect to maintain pro­ the EHSA will be maintaining lines of com­ "~etLife's study will help to accomplish Avenue, NW in Washington, DC 20418 grams from previous· years such as "Take munication with its members. In an effort tp one. of the most important goals in Your Child to Work Day," Women's History reach as many students as possible, the EHSA education - to strengthen the connection Mandatory Health ,Insurance Month and support of various student activi- will be using a variety of methods to dissemi­ between teachers and families," said.U.S. Adequate health insurance is·now. required ties .. Rivkin plans to extend the popular fo­ nate information. Secretary of Education Richard W. Riley. .for all international students (excluding re- .· cus on women's health issues·by adding pro­ Some students may already be receiving "When parents are involved in their search and teaching assistants). International . gramming on environmental health, espe­ direct e-mail. A web page is being created as children's education and wor~ closely with students holding a F-1 or J-1 visa must pur- · cially for young children. well as a newsletter. Messages will continue teachers, students learn more, are better chase and maintain the university's heal~ With her extensive academic and practical to be posted to the EHS newsgroup and the behaved in class and are more likely to go insurance plan while enrolled at UMBC. Stu- expertise ~ound the problem of domestic bulletin boards in the EHS lobby area. on to college." dents will be automatically enrolled in this violence, Rowe plans to further develop the The association welcomes suggestions and University Named a health insurance plan each semester. A charge cwrent.offerings of the WC. . comments. For additional information con­ Famed U.S. Heritage Site of $297 .50 for the fall semester will appear The WC will continue its referral service tact Jeff Robinson or one of the other EHSA Hampton University in Hampton, Vir­ after September 22, 1998 on your UMBC as well as provide a safe, comfortable place board members. ginia has received recent notice for having invoice. This charge for all women. Commuting and "returning" the oldest African American museum in the nation. The Hampton University Museum, re­ ·Park S~ill Seeking Develop-er, Tenants cently moved to the newly renovated Hun­ tington Building on c~pus, features over' From RESEARCH, Page I · . · · I facility. ing of the playfields built to replace the soc­ 9,000 objects, including traditional art from "We are getting calls on a regular. basis cer field on park grounds, should be com:.. Africa, Asia, Oceania ~d Native America, · "Each time {that] we prevail the percep­ from companies and economic development pleted within the month according to a African American fine arts and objects re-- tion [oCthe park] becomes more and more organizations,'" she said. "We even have fac­ UMBC news release and Wiggins. Wiggins lating to the university's history. positive," Wiggins said in a telephone inter­ ulty suggest companies which might be good said the power and telecommunications in­ The universitY was the first institution view. "[The Coalition] has contended a num­ candidates. There are many active discus- frastructure will be added after the ~evelop­ to begin collecting African American art, ber of things, but there is no substance in their sions." ment begins, and she remains optimistic acquiring noted painter Henry -0~Tanner's ''The Banjo Lesson" in· 1894. The camptis arguments." A number of companies have told Wiggins about the project ahead. is also home to the "Emancipation Oak," Wiggins said the project is a development : that once a developer has committed, they "The timing is good. The Baltimore region where the Emancipation Proc1amation was plan responsible to the community and is in would be interested in leasing space. The in­ is growing in technology companies,'' she first read to Hampton residCnts; fact meeting-environmental regulations.- frastructure work, including grading, paving, said. "Especially the BWI corridor of which ·"It is not in violation of any state or county installing sewer and water lines and the seed- we are a part." Science Center ·regulations," she said. Named for Alumnus Wiggins' negotiations with a developer to •···~········································· • Inventor and pion¢r, Robert Noyce, will ·. build the·multi-purpose building is progress­ • • be honored by his alma mater duri~g Sep­ ing and she hopes that an agreement will be • We are Looking For Talented • tember with the dedication of the $15.3 • .reached this fall which would allow construc­ • million Robert N. Noyce Science Center • on the grounds of Grinnell ·College in tion of the park to begin next spring and end Musicians • Grinnell. Iowa. · ~ ~e spring of 2000. The Research Park Cor­ • Noyce, who died in 1990, improved poration would enter into aground lease ar• • upon the device known as a transistor, help­ rangement with the developer, she explained. • ing to develop the microtechnology that Initial development is being funded with To Play For The • gave rise to personal computers, digital an $1.8 million grant from Baltimore County · ,, • video and the World Wide Web. Noyce and some $800,000 in loans which will be • made the basic discoveries leading to the . p&d with tenants' rent, according to Wiggins.­ • inventi9n of the integrilted circuit, the com- · ·• As of yet, no tenants have signed on to oc­ Retriever Pep Band • ponent which made the computer revolu­ cupy the building. • tion possible. • Science faculty members of Grinnell There has also been no firm commitment • College unanimously recommended nam­ from any companies who are willing to com­ Pep Band Sign UP • ing the center for Noyce. The college's mit t.P the "build-your-own-building" option • • Board of Trustees approved the faculty rec­ also available at the site. Wiggins did note, • Wednesday, Sept 16 at 9pm • ommendation. however, that some of the companies which • • Founded in 1846, Grinnell College is occupy space at the nearby UMBC Techn~l­ • • consistently ranked among the top nation­ ogy Center could grow large enough to oc­ • FA 118 • ally selective liberal arts colleges in the cupy space at the park, making them excel­ • • United States. • • lent candidates to move into a multi-tenant ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Sep~ember 15, 1998 PAGE3

OLICE WO RLD Safety Ttp of the Week: A Safe Cam~ · person(s) responsible for the theft. The in­ ported that damage occurred to a door pus is Everyone's Respon·sibility! vestigation will continue. ; · · to a conference· room containing files N E w s and office·equipment. Minor damage Do your part to P,r.qfect yourself and The'ft' from Building occurred and crime prevention:infor- . others by being: ' ·· - , · September 3, 1:46'p ."m. _;_A UMBC student niation was provided to the victim. D Alert for ~aie_ty liazards and campus reported leaving her wallet ·unattended for . crime. approximately one hour in a computer lab · Act of Intolerance . : D Safety-conscfous where you live and open to the public. The wallet was carried 4September 4;-10:23' -ai.m. -A faculty Maple Syrup Medicine , ev~rywhere on camplis. · away and could not oe loc ~t~d after a search member reported that unknown per­ Sap from certain trees in. India may D Knowledgeable about alcohol, drugs, by police and the victim. sons placed offensive markings on his offer relief to millions.of Aniericans suf­ safety precautions and emergency pro­ office door ip the Fine Arts building. fering from arthritis. cedures . . Sick Person Many Americans have recently turned :~ ,: ~~· ·,. ;.. September 3, 4:36 p.m. -A teaching assis­ Unregistered MC to these ·trees arid ·other plants ftorn India The'ft from Building· tant is reported to have fainted while instruct­ September 6, 4:05 p.m. - An officer which-have natural -anti-inflammatories September i,c2:10 p.m. - A student ing a course. She stated to an officer that she observed two juveniles' operating dirt · known as curcuminio.~s and boswellic reported tha:t ·person(s) unknown en­ had fainted from mild heat eXhaustion. Para­ bikt'._s on Shelbourne Road without reg­ acids. Respectively, they are found iri the tered her bookbag on the 7th floor of the medics responded and met with her. She re­ istration pla,tes. The operators flea upon comnion spice turmeric and the sap of library and removed prqperty having a fused treatment or transport to a medical fa­ . passing the- officer-' snear. One motor- · the Boswellia serrata tr,ee. value of$120. According to'the student, cility. cycle was abandoned nearby. A pos- . Studies suggest these can be effective she was in the suidy area' of the library - sible suspect was identified. The mo­ alternatives-to the anti-inflammatory when the theft occurred. The prelimi- · Attempted·Burglary . torcycle was impounded and stored at drugs usually.use to treat arthritis symp., nary investig~tion failed to identify the September 4, 9: 14 a.m. ~An employee re- . Varsity Towing. toms, which -often carry many side-ef- .,.,. j . fects . "Many prescription and over..'. the coup.ter arth.tjtis drugs can causl or ex;. ' acerbate c.~~aiIJ, ~ong_tti~ri ' s.ucl! as u.~cers . More , Cl~ssrooms . in. Physics Building , and kidney.problems,': _said Dr. Vladimir . Badmaey; yic~-presicien~ . of medicai. af- From PHYSICS, fage _J_ .· . . - . One of the cl~~srooms • ~ill be a seminar other dep~ents ~1ll -be ~si~g . the building fairs .at the nutraceuticaJ firm Sabinsa room that will seat approximately 150 Stu- as well. But, he added that classes will be ...... - ... Corporation. !'The excitement over these look at and .... the telescope ti_lts to give you dents, while the other two ciassrooms will seat sched~led i_n the,n Jw building ~~ rieeded . two natural extracts is that they work as that P':lli of tb.e sky,.;'. : _-- . . approximately ~o and 30 stud,ents respectively. ,;obviously w.e' d like to schedule o'ur well as many drugs·but without the dan- Summers said ~e building ~ s $410,000 state­ The remaining space in the building will be classes over there, 'but [the physics depart­ gerous side-effects.'' . of-the-art telescopy _.will be, _available to stu­ used for graduate and undergraduate research ment] couldn't po~ sibly use 3 classrooms the • The two extracts·ar~ now available in dents for use, but c;>nly if its use is pertinent to labs and computer labs. Contrary _to rumors. whole week," he sfild. "The chemistry depart­ a 4ietary· supplellient' called Boswellia a research project. . . that only the physics department will be au-. ment already has _more space than is going to and can be obtained for free from Vaden "Clearly that would have to be done with thorized to use the buiiding, Summers said be available in that building." Research, Inc. the supervision of a faculty member," he said. According to Summers,.tbe telescope's spe·­ Calming <;ravings . : cially designed mounts will enable it to point Many doctors in.Switzerland now pre­ horizontally, something very unusual for as­ scribe heroin to addicts. According to a tronomical telescopes. This added capability study by Switzedand's·Health Ministry, will enable students to conduct astronomical when doctor~ prescri~d the drug to more as well as atmosplrerit · ~tudy. .: : . than 800 addids in 15 cities, there was a "We're thinking we may want·: · to look for dramatic'dfop in crinnnal activity as well infra-red absorption with - ~daser: maybe on as decreas~a use·of ill~yit ~gs , inciud­ the Key Bridge [<'.!f the Baltimore BeltWay], ing cocaj.ne .. · . > , _ (lrid look at absorpti'Ons in the atmosphere/' · :.'The b;> i_ncreased he. noted. .· b r'ec~nt a ~tention heroin use _makes it ,critical . that policy One possible problem·studerits ·may encoun- . makers >in.the U.S. consider all options," ter whe~ using the telescope:, however, will said Dr: Ethan Nadelmann, director of the be the interferenct( o_f -noncstellar light "from Linae-smith Center; ·a: dhig policy--think Baltimore City, commonly: referred to as a tank with' dffices in New 'York ·and-San halo. But, Summers · s ~d, '-'thete-'s nothing you Franciscb". -<- ·· '.. : · -''. -' can do about it, so you'rejust goin·g·to have , An Engli~h su"miri~ of the Swiss go~­ to work on nights wherl you c"an see what.you ' emment report can be found ·at ' the can see." Lindesmith Center:s·. w.eb site at . . . . . ,,;:. . . '\ , ~ 0 • •• Summer believes UMBC to be the best www.lindtwtnith,:or.g .. . : ,. .._._., ..• ,, ....j ~ place to do astronomy, pointing out the fact - that Johns Hopkins University is tfie only other - , Modern World Wonders -· ' college in the. area with comparable tele-' - a The Ainerican Society· of Civil Engi­ .- scope. However, he added that even ~hough . neers ·has de'signated ~even ·examples· of ' ··· Hopkins' telescope is slightly larger th a ~ ·. MY_·. .· ·oEGREE GOT ME "'BE'JNT. £R'IRl.'tl7 human creatiYity as the Seven Wonders ; - UMBC's new telescope - 1 meter compared . ·. · :. & ~- : . · . · · ;W ·&Iii·ft• · of the :rytodei;q,')'orld. T,hey'are: ·clia9nel j · ·· ·'1>11 - •,i 1 · f~ \ rt·• ·, · ": . p...... ~- . t to .8 meters" -- its location inside Baltimore .. ·_ - .. RM.-.- . y .r .e· E'.·. J' .o·1. ·.'·. ii.!./: -.-~-.·'.i Tun~er~el9w the . E.~glish Qianri~l, ~N ~ . .:· City makes conducting_~~"cl) con~i ger.~~lj' ~ .- 1-. _ .. ROT"" GOT... ·M' E . J:dw.ei;j~ jorq~to l . ~mpire· State)liii,d- ! : m:c~=~~t~u;:;:!~~al!~ lack ~; space V ~g~ g;;/ pl.,tty competitive for ";'ROTC taught me ~O,;;,iP~ty. self,- i ~g .. in ~' ~e ~ ~Yor~ ~.9~~ , .d qlden ·G.ate : . availabilit_ for.th - h si~ de artment mt be . this jo?. 1~ rt; , ~W:e ~y.:o~~g7 ., ?_egre~ :-. di~cipli;n_e ,ai~.dleadez:s_lµp.'l'hos~~e Bridge in ,San. , Fr~-Qc ~sco , I~ipu Qam ~ , 1 Y . ~ !11 ~"" .. ;; f~ ; :" ,:: ,, , . -~!"d . :goo,d~_ ~~:des ~eP-. t}n~ ·jlD th~ . tNngs you Just c~n·~ learn fro.m a spanning the Paran~ River at the Brazil- i . ~hemfP.py s i~s bui_gt}ng ~ade ~~t n~wbml~- runrung: Rat m the,;end if was the textbook. I don't knew where'l'd be' · PaFaguay ;border,. Nqrth. Sea ,Protection ~ m ~ a necessity. . . , .' . . . leadership and management ·. right now if I ruiifu't ·E!nrolled ill - Work protecting the Netherlands from the .. Because of the umvers1ty s ITilSSlOn lil SCI- expe. ne. nee ·. I got through Army la,, Army ROTC, but ..I -do know one-- sea and Panama Canal in Panama City. ·' ence and technology ... w~ . n~e?e~ to have_ RO~C that won them over. Army ·· ·· thing for sum ... IWC>ulc.ln'tbe ~here. ~ ·1 .... i : ;J ~ ... :. more space for science," he said. · , ._. - -. · . . ' · '. -: _ ~LL~ .:: · , · · ,- ·· ~ . .'.·· · "Sugar-Less'"''Stfopping . In to build- · Nf111 : : · ; ' · ~ddition t ~~ ~~l e sG?pe , ~he n~w ARMY R: · U . S .~ . sh~ppers 'pay 28 percent less on ing will also·h ave a I arg~tutonal -eenter for -; · U & " average for sugar at the supermarket.than students, something that the current Chem/ THE SMARTEST COLl.£GE COURSE YOU CAN TAKE ' do spoppers in otQ.er d~veloped countries, Physics building never had. However, despite according to research by Landell Mills . ~ the enormous size of the building, which '.cost For details, call Johns Hopkins Army ROTC at 516-4683· - · Commodities Studies.of Oxford. $21 million, it will only have 3 classrooms. t. PAGE4 THE RETRIEVER _,WEEKLY · NEWS 'Septeniber-15, ·1998 New.Police SCORE! Location Admissions Prep

Provides SAT TUTORS NEEDED -Conveyance MATH .ORVERBAL National . . Graduate & ·for Visitors Great Pay, Flexible Hours Professional From POLICE, Page 1 Excellent Scores, own School Fair now have more parking space in case they transportation, and· Friday, September 25, 199.8 need to pull up to the police station. reliability a m·ust! 12 noon to 4:00 PM Although the new location has greater ac­ cessibility to visitors, some students believe Towson University their accessibility to the police may decrease. Towson Center "The old location was more of a central Call (703) 821-3334. point between the campus, the apartments and Thinking about Graaduate School? . I . the dorms. Now it's going to be harder to Over 100 admissions representatives nfttionwide reach for [resident] students," said Patapsco available to discuss you education. · Hall resident Alaina Brenick. COPPIN Brenick also believes that not many people Check with your Career Center for lists of Gradu­ ate/professional Schools and trasportation infor­ on campus know where the Central Plant COUCH ER mation. building is located. However, ChiefYohman JHU disagreed that the police office will be less LOYOLA Visit the Web site at: accessible to resident students. www.jhu.edu/-careers/GPShome. html "We're not [any] less strategically located," MORGAN he said. "If anything, we're even closer to NOTRE DAME Free workshop by Kaplan on Graduate School the students, espeCially .[those living] in the Admissions and Financial Aid. TOWSON apartments." UB Students requiring special accommodations For those still concerned about the avail­ should contact,Towson University'.s Career Center ability of the police, Yohman added that there UMAB at (410) 830-2233 or (TDD) (410)830-2(J38 at are police cars on patrol throughout the cam­ UMBC least 48 hours prior to the event. pus 24 hours a day, and police will always r espond to x3 l33 calls. However he do~bts VILLA JULIE

that most of the resident students really mind GREATER BALTIMORE CONSORTIUM GRAOUATE/PROFESSIONAL SCHOOL F.4. lR the police being "further away." SPONSORED BY THE GREATER BALTIMORE CONSORTIUM

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Editor-in-Chief Opinion Editor General Manag~r John Mischke Emily Bernstein Raymond Dubicki

Go Out and Get Involved

Activism and UMBC have long been dissimilar. Most of our students are en­ rolled in UMBC because it is an accredited, relatively inexpensive university within driving distance. Unfortunately, the bulk of our student population' is primarily concerned with getting a degree and punching out. This tendency. coupled with an . administratixe inclination toward theirigh-tech, corporate marketplace equals an environment which is fundamentally not conducive to campus activism. The nec­ essary precursors for activism, a sense for social responsibility and an analytic perception of currents greater than the individual, are nullified by an obsessive preoccupation with marketability. This week's Fo_cus on Activism has explored several promising movements at (or around) UMBC. The-Critical Mass phenomena, which involved three UMBC students, exemplifies a peaceful protest effectively applied to bring attention to pressing issues. The Arts & Humanities Student Alliance is a concerted, cross­ discipline effort to reverse the sanctioned neglect of several majors while expos­ illg the discrepancy between glossy appearances and a grim reality. We here at The ,Retriever Weekly do not seek to incite a campus riot, nor do we advocate students to bum their UMBC identification cards in protest. Built in the 1960s, the academic campus is virtually riot-proof. There's no place to hide from the snipers anyway. Walk into the Spnver Center or the SGA office, or go to local hospitals and soup kitchens. Work with a local political campaign that promotes your ideals. Stop sitting there and complaining about the apathy. You're a part of the problem.

UMBC: Not J~st Cla~s ,es Anymore

Congratulations to all the UMBC students w.ho competed in this weekend's 1998 UMBC Chess Championship, especially 1998 Champion Erez Klein, under- 1800 Round Champion Bennie Shell, and Beginner Round Ch~pion Yasser Konber. Our chess players are a source of pride and distinction for our school, and we at The Retriever Weekly are glad to see the enthusiasm shown by those who attended the tournament this weekend. As we honor our very own chess team, recognized nationally for its players' abilities, it also seems appropriate to recognize the other teams on campus thaf are not involved in athletics and also consistently bring awards and honors home to UMBC, but all too often are not as abundantly celebrated as the Chess Club. Among these organizations are the UMBC Parliamentary Debate Society and the Model Jen Siciliano ...... Managing Editor The Retriever Weekly's staff editorials re­ United Nations Team. · Tracy Soltesz ...... News Editor flect the views of the editorial board; signed The UMBC Parliamentary Debate Society has been a source of pride for the Jessica Rothfus ...... Asst. Opinion Editor columns represent the opinions of the indi­ university for well over a decade. In spite of being the first public school to join Christina Sabato ...... Features Editor vidual writers and do not necessarily reflect the American Parliamentary Debate Association - the United States debate cir­ Chris Taylor ...... Asst. Features Editor those of The Retriever Weekly or the Univer­ cuit with the most disting~ished membership, including the entire Ivy League, Elaine Elgamil ...... Focus Editor sity of Maryland Baltimore County. Amherst, Williams, UVA, Johns Hopkins and others - UMBC has proven itself Vergil Bushnell ...... Asst. Focus Editor Letters to the editors are printed verbatim, to be a university with exceptionally talented ·and driven students. Our debate Chris Kerner ...... Sports Editor although the editors reserve the right to edit team attends tournaments every weekend and-consistently wins individual and Jason Putsche ...... Photography Editor any letter deemed lengthy, repetitive, libel­ team awards. Amy Banowetz .... Asst. Photography Editor ous or otherwise in need of revision. The Our Model United Nations Team is also nationally recognized as among the Nicole Butter ...... Advertising Manager editors further reserve, the right not to print Deb VanDereedt ...... Business Manager best. At conferences in the United States and Canada, the team h~ brought home any letter for any reason. Letters to the Edi­ numerous individual and delegation awards, regardless of the country they repre­ Kim Brossard ...... ~ .: ...... Production Manager tor must be typed or written legibly and in­ sent. Be they China, Israel or Mongolia, the UMBCMUN always made us proud. Jamie Peck ...... Production Assistant clude the author's name and telephone num­ It is these sorts of intellectually-based teams that make up a good portion of the Carl Gehrman ...... Production Assistant ber. The author's name may be withheld upon extracurricular life on the UMBC campus. Even as UMBC's sports teams con­ Matt Stevenson ...... Production Assistant request. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. tinue to improve, marking season after season with triumphs, our chess players Autumn Patterson ...... Production Assistant on Thursday and may not exceed 400 words. and our debaters and our delegates continue to bring honor and p~estige to this Cameron Slayden ...... Cartoonist The Retriever Weekly subscribes to the Col­ often under-rated institution. Tony Fitzwater ...... Operations Manager lege Press Service and publishes weekly on As a student body, we must continue to support these teams by attending their Karan Lee ...... ;... Copy Assistant Tuesdays during the regular school year. Edi­ exhibitions and events, such as the UMBC Chess Championship, and by joining Christopher Corbett ...... Faculty Adviser tors can be reached at 455-1260 during nor­ their ranks and improving ourselves and at the same time even further enhancing mal business hours or at University Center the quality of these already superior teams. 214, 1000 Hilltop Circle, UMBC, Baltimore, MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is an equal opportunity employer. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY- OPINION,· _,.September.,15, 1998 PAGE7,

. . : ' . .. : ....:·. .~-; i . . You Need TrepanatiQq ~ike Voy Netd A:Hole In Your Head· . - ;, . -!'~, Autumn Patterson name of Hugo Bart Hughes took a few too piec: of shill fro~;,his bleeding head, a mil­ likely have performed the operation them­ many drugs and de-: cided that lion tihy·little spiritS dressed in medieval garb selves, perhaps with an electric hand drill like maybe this evil flew from his skull, screaming and laughing. Amanda Fielding. Drilling a hole in your head Back in the middle ages, medical science business Only this man did not regain his sanity like is worse than suicide, in that afterwards you was not particularly advanced. If you were could have his medieval brothers and sisters, and he be­ still have to 1ive with what you. have· done. ill, the doctor would chop off a body part, let evolved to gan to tell others about his discovery. unless of course a small slip of the hand drill you drain for a while and hope that the evil I will leave you to decide which is crazier, causes direct penetration of the brain. spirits in your blood tp'at were making you s o m e this scientist belie·v~g he had found a cure There aren't many individuals wh_o have ill had fallen out in the''bucket on the floor. larger for being an adult or the people that followed attempted to achieve this ultimate high Doctors were even more clueless about men­ truth. He him. Two of Hughes' more infamous follow­ through trepanation. But apparently there are tal illnesses. If the evil spirits got into your thought ers are Joey Mellen and Amanda Fielding, enough to form the International Trepanation brain, you went crazy. "Crazy" could mean about it 1on g • once a happy couple, now ea~h remarried. Advocacy Group, a.k.a. ITAG. If you believe anything from mild depression to paranoid and hard, took a The gruesome details of the trepanation of in slowing down to look at the accident, you schizophrenia. Evil spirits in the head could few more these two individuals in 1965 are chronicled can visit their web site (http.:// not be drained by normal bloodletting meth­ decided in both book and film. Mellen has written a www.trepan.com) and even try to get them to ods, so i~ was necessary to drill a hole in the son adult humans were so book entitled "Bore Hole" which tells the lecture in a town near you, in hopes that they skull in order to let the·rn out. The practice of stressed out was due to a story of how, after many tries and some help · will show Fielding's film. drilling a hole in the skull is called trepana­ lower state of c o n s c i o u s n e s s from Amanda, his trepanation was finally If you choose to find out more about trepa­ tion or trephination. caused by the sealing of the skull. Adults' successful. nation, I ask you to please .remember that For obvious reasons, modem science oblit- lack of higher consciousness was caused by . Fielding took a more graphic approach to "Friends don't let friends drill holes in their erated this practice as time progressed and what Hughes termed "brainbloodvolume" - her own t!.9lanation, by creatillg a film called heads." doctors became more knowledgeable about the amount of blood flow around the brain's "Heartbeat ill the Brain." Fielding continues the workings of gray matter. to show the film of her own trepanation at Autumn Patterson is a junior majoring in the human If a sealed skull · informative lectures, during which the ma­ American Sti.idies. brain. It wasn't "He thought about it' long and hard, means a lower, jority of the audience evil spirits that took a few more hits, and decided that · more boring state has been known to were causing of consciousness, faint or leave the crazies, it was the reason adult humans were so then it seems that room feeling ex­ more likely the stressed out was due to a lower state the entire adult tremely nauseous. handiwork of of consciousness caused by the world is destined to Most modem doc­ chemical im­ be unfulfilled for tors regard trepana­ balances. Be­ sealing of the skull." life. Dr. Hughes tion as an abomina­ sides, drilling a found several ways tion and no respect­ hole in your head could be potentially more around this destiny, including standing on able doctor would damaging to yout sanity than evil spirits. your head for extended periods of time and perform this opera­ Trepanation was mostly forgotten except taking lots of drugs. A more permanent solu­ tion. Because the by museums that house some of the ancient tion to this dilemma was trepanation. medical community trepans, and by people that study more primi­ . And so the story goes that Hughes drilled · refuses to cooperate, tive, tribal cultures where trepanation is still a hole in his own head and ... il worked! I recently trepanned practiced. Then, in 1962, a scientist by the imagine that after he removed the little round individuals most Free Will to Do Whatever We Are Destined to Do

Emily Bernstein every single human he would ever cre­ People like free will, and people like ate. If he knows the future right now, believing that God is all knowing, and and it has always been that way, because therefore knows what's going on ev­ Last week, I started a three part se­ he has always known it was to be that ery second of their lives. Both are com-. ries on religion, sparked by a conver­ way, then all the decisions have already forting. If we don't have free will, we sation with a guy who seems to believe been made. The map is there. One can can just go about our lives doing what­ he is on a mission rrom God to save not believe in an all-knpwing. god and ever we damn well please and assume my soul. The first t rt of the conversa­ still believe in free will. The two are god planned it that way. That's why the tion dealt with the argument of creation­ incompatible. people who came up with all these vari­ ism vs. evolution, and how even the BibleBoy attempted to use reason to ous religions built both ideas into the most staunch creationist would have to explain his again egocentric reasoning religion. Unfortunately, it's a paradox. give credence to the idea that the two that we have an all-knowing god who By definition, free will can not co­ are not mutually exclusive, as I dis­ watches over us, yet we still make our exist with an omniscient god. I'm per­ cussed last week. own choices. Not to believe in free will, fectly willing to accept one or the other, In the next three and a half hours of he explained, is to believe that people with proof of course. our little chat, BibleBoy and I moved can't change. But again, why would an omni-be­ on to my favorite part of any discus­ Granted. If God already knows ev­ nevolent god create me this way, know­ sion on the merits of the predominant erything that will ever happen to me, ing what I would be like and knowing image of god in the world today: Is it any change I make will have already from the start what I would do in my logically possible to have free will un­ been planned for me. Ages and ages life, and then damn me to hell for it? I der an omniscient gnd? No. ago, god already knew each little move certainly have no control over it. Far too many pe 'e believe that god I would make, so by that logic, anything Or else, I do have control over it, is all-knowing, ) 'mt humans also I do now has nothing to do with my own meaning he does not know for certain have free will. U 11 unately, this is a free will, but rather what was destined what I will do, and therefore he is not logical irnpossibil; at the beginning. So pick one: free will omniscient. My darling, though per­ Assume the exist<...... e of an all-know­ or omniscience. You can't have it both haps a bit self-righteous friend sug­ ing god. That means he knows every­ ways. If god is omniscient, we are all gested, "maybe that's why I'm here [on thing that has happened, everything that like a puppets with a script, and god knows He knows everything about me. He knows the computer] telling you all of this, so is happening, and everything that will the whole thing by heart, and he's just watch­ whether or not I'm ever going to believe in that I can change you and therefore happen, because if he doesn't know all ing us act it out, to the letter. him. He knows everything. So why would un-damn-you-to-hell." these things, he can riot be omniscient. To continue this line of logic, God created he create me the way he did knowing that it So now I have God's Little Helper He can't be guessing the future or as­ me, and my brain, and my opinions, and my means I don't believe in him, especially if on a mission to save my soul. Great. suming it either, he must have known experiences that have shaped those opinions. it's so incredibly important to him that I be-: for certain from the beginning of his So sure, he knows how I'll react to things. lieve? Emily Bernstein is the omniscience edi­ existence - whenever that may have tor of The Retriever Weekly. been - every little detail of the life of Next Week: Omni-Benevolence and Damnation. Go Fig. PAGE8 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION September 15, 1998 . ' ',:.., ~ -~ Current Marketing T3ctic;_s~ Do Not Explain Why.to Buy in a waiting room. Folks - from exhaustion ceived "aura". RTFM crudely expresses the frustration of Vergil Bushnell or boredom - in these situations tend to have Visceral stimuli, not information, im­ system administrators everywhere over inane their critical faculties suspended. Hence, presses masses, which explains the preva­ and needless questions, perhaps coming from they' re not going to pick apart the idiosyn- lence and success ofimage over content. Each former Windows devotees who are not ac- On the underside of a well-circulated Time crasies of Microsoft's chairman and laugh up- - incarnation of Windows customed to reading manuals. magazine I encountered the latest installment roariously at his blatant, groping attempts at exhibits an increas­ Microsoft makes a lot of simolians of Microsoft's marketing campaign. Natu­ camouflaging an insatiable megalomania. ing reliance on by selling to multi-workstation rally, it was garbed with liberal splashes of Nor would these individuals be aware of the " b e 1 1 s - a n d - ·• companies, so that every cubicle requisite "retro" colors needed to cement im­ latest corporate memo subpoenaed by the Jus- whistles" - blink­ occupant has their own Window. mediate, pre-conscious associations of tice Department - and it ain't pretty. People ing, animated cur­ I have a little quest for you. Go hipness. The message was "See something with half-shut eyes and idling brains are eas- sors and.cute chirps to the nearest conglomerate of cu­ shiny & wander off for awhile." I searched ily influenced by bright colors and emotional defme the software. bicles. A state office hive of mid­ the ad for the missing punch line. It couldn't jingoism. And these poor, impressionable Even the very title level administrators will be adequate. possibly end with the above statement. Here, saps are bombarded by a perpetual barrage "Win98" smacks of a video Wear a shirt, tie, and blank expression to in the garb of clever marketing, was the na­ of similar media manipulations. They are the game. dissimulate your revelatory mission. Peer in ked kernel of MS's popularity, a de-coded consumers, the unbreakable and inflexible The popularity of Windows is inextricably each little cell and see what's on each little mission statement. backbone of our society. They are the patri- linked to its vulgarization of computing. monitor. If the occupants heard you coming, - - I suppose the primary thrust ots, the ones who are Microsoft essentially removes autonomy you'll probably see a Word document being of the ad was an invocation aroused by military re- from the user by emphasizing an infantile in­ appended by furious typing. of the much-cherished cruitment commer- __ terface. No one needs to learn anything in If you were slick and unseen, chances are American myth of indi­ cials. this "user friendly" environment. (The ex­ you'll discover a bile green screen with little viduality. This "off-the­ - The simplicity of tremely successful "Windows for Dummies illustrations of playing cards. It's called Soli­ beaten-path" appeal his particular I Idiots" - which read like Archie Comics taire, and is magnanimously iricluded in each been a catch-phrase em­ advertisement -are a sad testament to this tendency.) This box of Windows. The ·state of Virginia re­ ployed to redundancy - boggled me. I "Plug-and-play" pabularization of the PCrep­ cently removed Solitaire from its Windows think of sport-utility couldn' t see any resents a movement away from unlimited po­ because of the inclinations of low-level ad­ sloganeering, The Gap's reason why I would tential towards instant gratification. ministrators. Much about Windows and the employment of dead subcul­ be compelled to snatch A more actualized operating system, such typical Windows user is revealed by this fa­ ture figures a la "Kerouac wore up Wmdows 98 - unless as Linux (a derivative of Unix), can bedown­ vored application. Shuffling sheaves of pa­ chinos" and so on. So Madison Avenue Bill Gates shelled out extra to have his pitches loaded free of charge. Of course, there's no per, or cards, is emblematic of bureaucratic twangs the revered chord over and over. sprinkled with pheromones. Sure, it had eye-candy. And you have to type your com­ monotony. Thumb through enough folders, There's nothing .incisive about this particu­ flashy colors and depicted a "happening" vir- mands instead of pressing a 3-D button. No make a couple drawn-out expeditions to the lar observation, as it can be made of any given tual landscape. But what the hell did it actu- one's going to hold your hand and do every­ water cooler (or fmger the rosary if that's your ad in any given decade of Americana. ally say about Wmdows 98? Where were the thing for you like Windows. On the other kick) and eight hours have passed. In order to analyze properly this ad, its in­ statistics? Noticeably lacking was the dearth This is the new American Work Ethic: a tended audience must be discerned. Microsoft of information related to the inherent object flurry of meaningless, repetitive gestures isn't aiming at teenagers. It has different ads being touted. If I wanted to purchase an coupled with the inevitable passage of for them (slumber party motifs with match­ expensive piece of software, I would __ time, which guarantees success in the ing washed out techno ). This one is seem­ first like to know what services it per­ <. form of a paycheck. Not too differ­ ingly targeted at readers of Time magazine. - formed, how it would interact with ·•· ... ent from Windows Solitaire where Although that category might be too specific, specific pieces of hardware and other -cards are flicked across a screen for a cover-to-cover puruser wo"Qld inevita­ programs, and precisely the amount _­ and eventually fall in a designated bly encounter at least one article detailing of memory it would occupy. Yet Wm­ pattern, which signifies an auto- the progress of several heated antitrust suits dows 98 isn't merely some expensive . matic win. It's virtually impossible against the big MS. So -a reader of Time program - it's an operating system to lose. Blind persistence, not tal­ wouldn't be in the most receptive frame of that controls every vital process of a ent nor prudence, is the precursor mind for contributing to the massive coffers computer. How could someone possibly to victory. of a monopoly. Which is why I am admit­ buy Wm98 based on this ad? Honestly, I'm not faniiliar with the tedly predisposed to reject such an ad. Then again, many people make large in­ ins and outs of Computer Science. Which But what about that large pool of our popu­ vestments based upon irrational criteria. Au­ is why I'm refraining from the technical. lation that doesn't actually read Time? They tomobiles get sold because they are depicted hand, systems like Linux, once mastered, of­ What fascinates me is that the politics and might leaf through it quickly, focusing more with a sunset in the background and a wink­ fer precise management of detailed tasks. products of Microsoft can be read as a star­ on the celebrity shots than op/ed pieces. They ing vixen reclining on the hood. The distinc­ Many online FAQ's for Linux users have tling allegory revealing some unsettling ten­ may simply encounter the b~ckside of a Time tion between designer perfumes, as well as the intriguing little acronym "RTFM," usu­ dencies of American consumerism. adhering to the top of a toilet b0wl. We find their appeal, comes from ad campaigns for­ ally preceded by the phrase "When all else these people slumped in break rooms staring mulated before the very concoction is decided fails." "R" stands for read, "T" for the, and Vergil.BushneJl is the assistant Focus editor at the coffee machine. Or twiddling thumbs upon. The liquid itself is secondacy_ !o its per- "M" for manual. The "F" portion of the ofThe Retriever Weekly.

Reality Is Just A Figment of Our Imaginations ~ Or Is It? imagination. If this theory has any truth to it, women should be submissive to men, since appropriate. ~- Laura Lanasa I say, "Imagine me thinner, as a graduate stu- men have more muscles (n.ot to be confused So I'd like to say that I've created a much dent with a better paying job, or better yet with muscle mass). better reality for myself, but I haven't. There's During a short Ssciology class discussion imagine me as a world renowned clinical To get back to the point of this article, we no point in giving anyone else hope that she on the nature of reality, I noted that there are psychologist." , all do have our individual versions of reality. can change her whole life by reading this three primary views ofreality. My interpreta- Unfortunately, this version of the •We have hopes and dfeams, which help us pathetic attempt to earn $10. But hey, it won't tion of these views are as follows: premodem postmodern view doesn't work for all of us. get through the more pathetic portions of our be a total loss. You can now be proud that states that things are what they seem, and no I guess the people who have grandiose imagi- lives. Maybe we are a part of someone else's you are better adjusted than people who are one should ever question anything; modem, nation would· be considered to have some imagination. Maybe we' re just here, or confused because tjiey believe everything states that most things are subject to interpre- form of schizophrenia, like that guy at the maybe we're nothing at all they read. · · tation, but some things are really real and Crownsville mental hospital who thinks he's But if you think about it, our interactions And you can also be proud that you are inescapeable; and postmodern suggests that Jesus Christ. But enough about religion, that's with others make us a part of their conscious­ not classified with delusional individuals - everything is subjective, and that everyone has another. article. ness, and them a part of ours. So what are we at least not yet, anyway. Or you could do his or her own reality, no matter how delu- Well, just a bit more about religion. To fur- worried about anyway? If reality is all ours, something civic minded, like vote, petition sional. ther reflect on the subject of reality, those why can't we do more with it? And if reality to have that guy who thinks he's Jesus re­ I'd like to say that most of us find some among us who follow the premodem view remains unaffected by our hopes and desires, leased from Crownsville or recycle this pa­ middle ground in these perceptions of reality, · of reality usually have a lack of imagination. what good is it? per when you've finished reading it. But you but few of us follow the modem view all the These are the people who think that evolu- True, some things about reality suck, but probably won't do any of that, because apa­ time. In fact, I know several people who fol- tion is total crap. These people either think it it's kind of cool to think that you have input thy is part of your reality. At least that's what low the postmodern theory to a fault. For doesn't matter how we got here, or they ' r~ - not- to mention the fact that none of us my reality tells me. them, nothing is real: This school, this article, willing to take someone else's point of view could live without the creativity that comes their lives, their families - are all a dream. so as not to strain their brains. Of course, with making up wonderful excuses for be­ Laura Lanasa is a senior majoring in sociol­ We 're all just a figment of someone else's some of them are the ones who believe havior that would otherwise be deemed in- ogy and psychology.

i L------·--- - ··------·------··--·------THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION September 15, 1998 PAGE9 Christmas in July? A Holiday for All.Seasons Is Overdone Jessica Rothfus dise cuts down oil the amount of space avail­ your baby like a pack of McDonald's french Plus, there are those among us who may able for Halloween merchandise. No matter fries. Believe me, your baby will never look be technically Christian, but not really be­ what way you look at-it, Halloween is infi­ cuter than the day big yellow fries erupt from lieve - quite a predicament. And in that case The snow fell softly- last night as all the nitely cool. Every year there are her little bald head. we merely .celebrate Christmas in all the typi­ neighborhood Christmas trees twinkled_ new and different costumes. So, it's clear that cal ways - such as leaving out cookies for brightly in suburban windows on quiet Yeah, there's always the Christmas isn't the only some fat guy who could really stand to lose streets. At least that's what the department boring pirate and silly holiday retailers use to 30 pounds - simply because our culture tells stores would like you to think. The major on­ fairy princesses, but their advantage, but us we should. True, we are all a product of slaught of Christmas merchandise begins in movies and television it's certainly the most our culture, but during the holiday season, September, but I've notked holiday products always spawn new annoying. And more - and months before, the connection between as early as late June. masks. than annoying, it's us and them (retailers who want to sell us the It seems that every year stores set up Christ­ Just like every ethnocentric. Not Christmas spirit) becomes even more pain­ mas displays even earlier than the last. Just other holiday, everyone in this fully clear. last month, the opinion editor reports she Halloween - is country is People spend an inordinant amount of time encountered an entire specialty store devoted used to lure con­ Christian in stores searching for the perfect gift, orthe to Christmas items of all sorts in a major mall sumers into a (surprise!), perfect ornaments to decorate their trees or in St. Louis. In the not very distant future, money-spend­ and those house. Basically, they decorate their lives be­ retailers will become lik~ the neighbor down ing web, but at -w h 0 cause they can't stand to think that there's the street who never takes the Christmas least the prod­ aren't just more to holidays than the sugary sweet ver­ lights off his house. We'll never be granted a ucts are typi­ might be ex­ sion that retailers present them with. reprieve from singing Santa Claus figurines cally fun and asperated with Free your minds from the bonds of con­ or gaudy ornaments. Scary, huh? We live in unique. Of all of the Christ­ sumer culture and refuse to be_ a pawn in the a consumer cultur~ where time has become course, you can mas products holiday game. A Tickle Me Elmo (or the new­ irrelevent in the pursuit of the ill-mighty dol­ go the commercial dominating store est toy fad) isn't worth $200, and creating lar. route. If you want to fronts. Retailers are the perfect hQ.liday season with the help of Christmas merchandise generally puts spend $20 or more for a cos- like the Pied Piper. They your friendly neighborhood retailer isn't people in a happy mood, so perhaps the needs tume, and do free adverti_sing for a company, entrance us, they make us follow, and sooner worth your soul, assuming you have one. of consumers and merchandisers can be rec­ McDonalds and M&Ms are top choices. You or later their reality becomes ours. In the pro­ o~ciled. But I am seriously sick of Santa in can choose to dress like a big M&M (yoµ'.U cess, we end up excluding others. We.may Jessica Rothfus is the assistant opinion edi­ the summertime. Plus, Christmas merchan- be the candy of a new millenium! ), or dress not do it intentionally, but it happens. tor of The Retriever Weekly. "QUOTES ~R~~ QUAD" hat do you think is in the new physics bu.ilding? - , .

photos byAmy Banowe.tz

Jessie O'Kane, 1 8 BioChem "Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein are chillin' up there having coffee, wondering why it's taking them so long to finish the building." I

Chelsea Lane, 20 Carl Cabradilla, 18 BioChem Undecided "I don't know, but I'll find out "Chemicals to make the food next semester." taste better."

Sam Cho, 21 BioChem "Nothing! Absolutely nothing!!!"

Krista Brooks, 2 2 English "More labs that we don't need." PAGElO · Sept. 15, 1998 FEATURES [insert name here]* *not an advertisement

s I feel the need to bitch about something, I must say to my contestant, "Contestant, you were two days late." · However, he did enter. So the contest I had originally A penned doesn't really apply anymore. It was a scath­ ing reprimand for everyone who didn't enter. So maybe I'll just fix · that, a11d by the time it reaches you, you' 11 be none the wiser (like that'll be anything different). Last week I asked you to get the heck outta UMBC in one fell swoop - to write a course description that would fulfill every scholastic need that remains for your particular major situation. Only one of you was brave and true enough to meet the challenge.

And this week_s winner is ... Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff "The ideal class would get all my GFR's out of the way, or Last weekend's open chess tournament was held in the UC Ballroom. at least some of them. I am thinking a paintball class. Along with getting you physical education requirement out of the Open Chess Tournament Decides way, you can work on those math skills. Use calculus and physics to figure out the behavior of the ball as it whizzes by (or in most cases, hits you smack d,ab in the eye). It would U~BC's Intercollegiate Team also be a great way to work on computer skills as you search the nation under age 18) and drew Epshteyn will choose four teams, the internet for the next new gun/marker. The person I would JOSH BARTLETI Retriever Weekly Staff Writer defending champion Morrison to basing his decisions partially on the get to instruct the class would be an ex-Navy Seal named become the 1998-99 UMBC Chess rankings derived from the results of Bruno. He would teach self-defense for those in close situa­ Okay, so UMBC has no football Champion with 4.5 points out of 5. the competition and partially on tions where hand to hand combat is needed. Lastly~ in the team. But we still have cool nick­ Bennie Shell captured first place in other factors, such as previous per..: training sessions, each person has to submit an attack pro­ names like "The Exterminator." the round for those rated under 1800 formance on the team, style, and posal, for those who need help in Technical writing (or some­ That's right ~ Walking around cam­ by the United States Chess Federa­ performance in other tournaments. thing along those lines)." (Submitted by John Heaton.) pus right now as you read this ar­ tion (USCF) with a score of 5, and World Junior Champion lnterna-. · ticle is a man nicknamed "The Ex­ Yasser Konber won the Beginner's tional Grandmaster Tal Shaked did John, please come to the offices of The Retriever Weekly (UC214) terminator." Contrary to what you tournament, also with a score of 5. not play in the event; he will qualify to claim your R. might think, however, he is not Held every year, the UMBC for _the Team by simultaneously Obviously, the snide tone of this week's contest does not apply available to rid the campus of any Chess Championship serves two playing the top six UMBC finish­ to John, insomuch as he had the gumption and/or moxie to enter. unwelcome pests or evil. He is, in­ purposes. First of all, as most cham­ ers from the championship in a The other 9,999 of you have some explaining to do. This week's stead, William "The Exterminator" pionship events do, it crowns a win-. timed simultaneous exhibition contest is short and sweet. You write me a haiku,-telling me one of Morrison, Senior Master, the 1997- ner - in this case, the 1998-1999 match in October. several things: - 1998 UMBC Chess Champion, and UMBC Chess Champion. The win­ Admittedly, the most prestigious one of the cornerstones of the pres­ ner receives a trophy, a cash prize and recognized part of the UMBC D How badly you suet( for not entering tigious UMBC Chess team. · This and an invitation to the UMBC Ac­ Chess Club is the travelling inter­ D How guilty you feel thatyQu 've hurt my feelings weekend, he, along with the rest of tion Chess Playoffs, an·invitation ­ collegiate squad. Over the past few D What you were·doing in place of entering my contest (an ex­ -the UMBC Chess.club, kicked off only exhibition to be _held on Sep­ ye~n. our chess team members· cuse) the--stµt of the 1998-1999 season tember 26. Secondly, and more im­ have captured some of the highest D How much you really look forward to reading the fine print__ with the 1998 UMBC Chess Cham­ portantly to the Chess Club, it is the achievements in the chess world, every week pionship, held Saturday, September main factor in the selection process both as_ a team and individually. D Anything else sufficiently kissing-ass 12 glild Sunday, September 13 in the for the intercollegiate competition Slowly, the Chess Club has built an University Center Ballroom. team. In order to be eligible for in­ impressive roster, including such A haiku, for the haiku-impaired, is a poem with five syllables in Senior Master Erez Klein_de­ tercollegiate competition, one must chess sl,i perstars as Eugene the first line, seven in the second and then five again in the third~ feated International Master Eugene participate in the Open section of Perelshteyn, International Master For example: Perelshteyn (ranked number one in the tournament. Coach Igor see CHESS, page 20 You blew off my game. You should feel like donkey ~ung . Yo u will enter now. ' "All Kinds of Wacky Fun" Got the picture? Good. The winner of this contest will get a sign stolen from a popular children's pizza restaurant (utilizing a giant Dogapalooza Revives Memories of Childhoo~ Merriment rat as the mascot). The sign has a frog upon it, begging you to "hit my mouth to make me hop, hit my tongue and I'll go faster." Well, RYAN SURBER . dential Life-sponsored affair gave great three-legged race. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer of course, then. on-campus students the opportunity Dogapalooza kicked off on Fri­ to form teams among their living day night in the University Center Entries must be received by Thursday in UC 214, or by email [email protected]. I The days of kickball, dress-up communities and compete in an ar­ Ballroom where make-up, glitter, know of someone who would rather build his house on the San Andreas Fault than have and freeze tag are over. It seems that ray of ridiculously amusing events . afro-wigs, and hairy-legged men in to drive on the beltway every day. I also know that I went into the theater on Thursday writing college entrance essays Teams with names like the drag were all the · rage for the lip­ morning for a class, and when I came outside, there was - poof- instant landscape. I think that's pretty cool, because now campus doesn't look so much like a war zone about how mature and qualified we SusPuppies, Potomac Rocks and sync contest. Freshman John Gesco anymore. Also, we know that the sign being given this week was already won last se­ are might actually convince us that the Ill-tempered Sheep (who de­ said, "The best part of the competi­ mester, but the prize was never claimed, so we feel it's stiU ours to give. And we'd wager it's true.On Saturday, however, clined the chance to clarify the ori- - tion was dressing up like Sporty that the mascot rat, and the hoppin' frog, too, for that matter, would agree with us. Fur­ them1ore. some asshole is beating on the wall outside my office and I have a migraine. UMBC stude ts celehrated the gin of their team's name) battled it Spice," although one non-gender­ Don't define your generation as "those kids who were so apathetic that they wouldn't yearly Renaissance of good, hon­ out on the Library Field in truly in­ bender t,eam wowed the judges and even enter the contest in their university newspaper." lnstead, be Generation [Insert]_ est, and wholesome childish fun tense heats of tug-of-war, water See how much better that is than "X'? Fight tha t label, man. known us Dogapalooza. This Resi- ba!Joon toss, musical chairs and the see DOGAPALOOZA page 12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 15, 1998 PAGE 11

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• ••••• • · 4 .A. · Are you a new student? • 4 B. Do you feel that you have what it takes to make a . . · di~~rence in the UMBC community? · . 4 C. Are you interested·in developing your leadership, communicatio·n, and organizationa_l skill~? - . --..._,.. ~ ...._ 4 D. Do you work and play hard? ·

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• : =:~;.;; ·· . " Applications Wr . ·.· .. "fiable at the Student Activities Office, University .·. ·· Center 206, on Tuesday~ September 15, · 1998. Applications·must be re- ..· turned no later than Monday, Septembef-28, 1998 at 4:30 pm·in the Stu;;: ... _:. ·. denfActivities .()ffice; There wiltbe a.mandatory Candidate meeting at 5:30 pm on Monday;·September 28, locationTBA. All Candidates must -attend in order to be-included on the Ballot..·· -

If you have any questions . please call Student Activities at X3462. S: :=::-~ - A. G Qf'i()l (} --~ -\ ~~· ~~~~ - ~ ... PAGE12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 15, 1998 Games Abound at Dogapalooza From RESEARCH, Page 10 manship points were awarded to teams who displayed exceptional Dogapalooza spirit. screaming crowd with an incredibly well­ This manifested itself in various ways, from choreographed medley of En Vogue. The lively chants to the occasional flashing in scene was a total freak show that left many front of the judges. passer~-by slightly perplexed. One of the eighty participants, junior Alex Perhaps the scariest moment of the night Ferguson, described the weekend's events as was when the all-male version of the Spice "all kinds of wacky fun." There could be no Girls performed a skit ripped from the stage better description than this. Before.the win- - · of Jerry Springer. A skirmish began and the ning teams were annQunced, the judges added "girls" ended up "pummeling" the stage an impromptu funky-freak dance competi­ bodyguards, finishing them off with the battle tion. cry "Girl Power!" As Beck's "Odelay" played, one person The event organizers wanted to design a donned a large orange cone on his head and competition that would help bring people to­ gyrated like a Soul Train accident. There, in gether and create a "strong sense of commu­ the splendid afternoon sun in front of the A · nity and, of course, have some fun." Events 0. Kuhn Library, we were. all reminded that like Musical Chairs were chosen to avoid a despite our eighteen-plus years, our sixteen­ Brian Mackey I Retriever Weekly Staff competition that only rewarded athleticism. plus credits, and our long h.ours of studying, Fetch the Ball: Excited students line up on the AOK Library field on Saturday for . In addition, participation and good sports- the days of stupid childish fun are not dead. Dogapalooza fun and games. THE RETRlf;.VER WEEKLY . FOCUS ~eptember 8, . 1998 PAGE 13 0

"fy!J;3C students are forever complaining that the general mbod op. campu.s is <;me of apathy. Ironically, there is a strong view by "outsiders" that college campuses are the h

.. ._ .. \ . :' ~ ... . PAGE14 l ; •• - . - .. - ~ THERETRIEVER WEEKLY . •' FOCUS ·september 15, 1998 Baltimore Joining Cyclists Ride Campus En Mass from CRITICAL MASS, page 13 Politics Unfortunately, after World War,..II, with sig­ TOKUNBO SAVAGE nificant pressure from the automobile, tire Retriever Weekly Staff Writer and oil industries, the government decided to concentrate on highway rather than public The political groups, on the UMBC cam­ transportation system development. pus range from the earth-shaking radical to Yet, many ·Critical Massers feel that the value-gripping conservative. There has al­ "Age of the Automobile" should come to a ways been a conscious stirring in young close as a national icon. The U.S. has the people to bring forth change in our environ­ - highest density of ~utomobiles to people in ment - wherever there is justice unheard, the world - one for every two people. And, there is always a voice to declare this is photo courtesy Matthew Paul D'Agostino on average, each auto is driven 10,000 miles wrong. Biking for the E1_1virmonment: A group of socially conscious bikers clot the streets annually. Furthermore, America's driving The Student Socialist Forum was formed of Baltimore on two wheelers to promote environmentally responsible transportation. obsession accounts for 63 .percent of the in 1989, by a group of progressive students nation's petroleum consumption and 21 per­ most ideal way to connect rural Nebraskan near other students that is not served by the who wanted a forum for radical ideas, cent of energy-related carbon emissions (and towns, both population dense coastlines. are shuttle system, try appealing to the adminis­ thoughts and issues. unless stricter standards are imposed, these ideally suited for mass transport systems and tration to expand the routes. UMBC's admin­ Vice president Brian Dunnigan describes emissions are expected to double by 2020). every city in the country is its own dense istration could help by enc'ouraging alterna­ the group as "basically, a free forum where Worldwide car ownership has increased microcosm in need of comprehensive inter­ tive transportation use by instituting ride­ students come together to discuss issues and from 50 million to 500 million since 1950 nal public transportation. share programs (i.e., car-poolers receive park­ ideas that aren't necessarily in the mainstream and is prnjected to double over the next quar­ Ranting about subway lines and bike trails ing fee reduction etc.), working with neigh­ [media]. We thought, maybe there was some­ ter-century. This pattern of automobile and is great, you may think, but can any of these boring communities to improve the sidewalk thing better than capitalism, things on bill­ petroleum use ·cannot continue - the world goals ever be actualized? They can and they and shoulder quality of roads near campus, boards, images and messages in the media." lacks sufficient natural resources to sustain have in numerous cities - much of Europe increase number of shuttle buses and routes. Women's rights, informing people of the such increases indefinitely. has extensive rail systems, Washington D.C. Perhaps, they could follow the stunning horrors of Nike sweatshops, and letting th~ Critical Mass represents a demand by or­ built a subway system long after the city was example of Cornell University which, since public know of political prisoners, such as dinary citizens that the government end their · well established, Ithaca recently installed bike initiating an extensive alternative transpor­ Mumia-Abdul Jamal, are some of the prac­ subservience to corporate America. They racks on all its buses. tation program in 1991, has saved the uni­ tices of the Student Socialist Forum. demand that the government stop spending Changes occur when the citizens collec­ versity over $13 million by vastly reducing Says Dunnigan on whether or not one must billions of dollar~ every year to subsidize tively demand them. If more people started parking lot and garage expansion and other be socialist, "There is no initiation ... noth­ environmentally destructive activities as well using the pre-existing transport systems and related costs. ing that states you have to believe in social­ as providing massive tax breaks to the auto­ advocating their·expansiOn and improvement, Numbers aside, a terrific way to lend your ism. For the most part, we are very open­ mobile and petroleum industries and that it politicians would eventually be forced to re­ support to alternative and public transporta­ minded; the discussion ends with anything start meeting the needs of its people. Far more spond - don't forget,' we pay their salary. tion, cleaner air, safer streets and simply to that is connected with hate and violence." attention needs to be paid to promoting the It would be foolish to expect all car com­ have just a great time with an enthusiastic This month, the Student Socialist Forum use of alternative modes of transportation - muters to convert to bus riders overnight. But, bunch of people is to come out for the next ~ill once again bring a pow-wow to the comprehensive public transportation systems if all drivers could incorporate one no car day Critical Mass ride. Baltimore, like most par­ UMBC campus, in acknowledgement of should be established and space for bike lanes a month or even a week into their schedules, ticipating cities worldwide, ride on the last Native-American Awareness month. Native­ should allocated on every city street. Change that one day could have a significant impact Friday of every month at 5:30 p.m. Just meet Americans from the BaltimoreAmerican-In­ can occur - in Copenhagen, Denmark, over of bus and light-rail ridership numbers. This at the 36 South Charles (the comer of S. dian center will perform traditional dances 30 percent of the populous commutes to work may convince city planners of the need to Charles and Lombard). The Mass is hard to and speak of things related to their commu­ via bicycle, and many .others use public trans­ address these issues more aggressively. miss. nity. Folf'6wing the group's performance, a portation systems. Many UMBC students live within an easy lecture will be held in the UC Ballroom: The Some people might argue that public trans­ five-mile bike ride or walk to campus. Oth­ All statistical references are from the World Watch In­ SSF also has a book drive in the works, which portation cannot work in American simply ers would benefit by taking advantage of the stitute publication State of the World 1998. E-mail will profit the Baltimore Leaming Center for [email protected] for more information on Criti­ because the country is too vast. While it is shuttle system (it eliminates the morning cal Mass rides and on biking downtown together to the true that a subway system may not be the parking space hunt!). If you live in an area next one held on September 25.' . see CAMPUS POLITICS, page 17 Local Civil Disobedience: -Mobtown and the Catonsville Nine

CAROLYN DANCKAERT cent increase in dividends. As public protests Catonsville, Maryland, seized the office's priate, as Daniel Berrigan explained, "be­ ELAINE R. ELGAMIL spread from Martinsburg, West Virginia to Selective Services records, and burned them cause the burning of children is inhuman and Retriever Weekly Staff Cumberland, Maryland, the president of in the parking lot with homemade napalm. unbearable ... antl [such burnings were] be­ B&O met with Maryland Governor John This controversial act of civil disobedience, ing multiplied a thousandfold in the Land of Baltimore appears as a sleepy town, quiet Carroll. Both public and private institutions occurring at the height of the· Vietnam War, Burning Children." and non-descript, far from the noise in other had a vested interest in the railroad. thrust Catonsville into the national spotlight The children Berrigan referred to included, American cities. The riots uf Los Angelos, Local citizens in Baltimore had joined the during the ensuing much publicized in his mind, not only the countless numbers the activists of San Fransisco, the political plight of the railroad workers. Cases of vitlt­ "Catonsville Nine" trial held in Baltimore of Vietnamese children killed during Ameri­ protests of Washington D.C., has taken the lence and arson broke out as hundreds took later that "year from October 5 to 9. On the can air strikes and ground fighting, but also national eye out of Baltimore for the past to the streets to protest. By July 21, Presi­ first day of the trial, a crowd of over 2,000 to the multitude of young American m·en thirty years. There is a history behind this dent Hayes declared Maryland under martial people protested, marching down Howard drafted to serve as. cannon fodder for the po­ area, also known as "Mobtown." law. As federal troops regained control of Street. litical posturing of American bureaucrats. The During the late nineteenth centtiry, Balti­ order, the workers had gained the ears of the The group's motivation in burning the draft group's lawyer explained this intent by stat­ more was a canning town and a railroad town B&O company. A relief program for work­ files was clear. They felt morally obligated ing, "[The Catonsville Nine] wanted, in some - the "B" in the B&O Railroad. As eco­ ers was established and the nation's first pen­ to express their abhorrence of the war through small way, to throw a roadblock into a sys­ nomic conditions worsened for many Ameri­ sion plan was treated. The riots ~ere able to some tangible and effecting expression. Af­ tem which they considered murderous, which cans after the 1873 stock marl<:et crash, un­ grab a hold of the political arena. As laborers ter ;ill, espoused their trial .defense lawyer, was grinding young men, many thousands of derpaid and overworked railroad workers throughout the nation·fought corporations for their peaceable acts and "Oprotests had failed them, to death in Vietnam." took to the streets of Baltimore. This was their rights, Baltimore had made an inspir­ to prevent a single innocent death, failed to Since draft offices, at the time, did not nothing new to local citizens who had ob­ ing, tangible progress. end the anguish of napalm on human flesh, maintain duplicate copies of all records, the served local uprisings throughout the century failed even momentarily to slow the unnatu­ group's destruction of 378 files was an at­ in response to local as well as national poli­ Fighting the Draft: ral, -senseless destruction of men, women, and tempt to prevent 378 men, at least temporally, tics. The Catonsville Nine children, including the destruction of our own from being forced into a system in which they By July of 1877, the already disgruntled On May 17, 1968, nine men and women, sons." would be compelled to perpetuate, in the railroad workers received a 10 percent pay led by priests Philip and Daniel Berrigan, en­ The group decided that burning draft cut while stockholders were given a 10 per- tered Local Board Draft Office number 33 in records with napalm was particularly appro- see CATONSVILLE NINE, page 15 · ·THE RETRIEVER WEE/.(L¥ FOCUS · September-15, 1998 PAGE 15 Creating AHSA: A Response to the Downtrodden 4 from AHSA, page 13 phy lab (which really doesn't cost too much I don't suppose the author of this-statement students won't get shafted for their money compared to Bio labs) are expressly charged is aware of the-current situation of the Fine anymore and UMBC can assume the glori­ sistency which would bewilder a pollster, fees, while a student in the sciences pays no Arts building, where many, many majors ous mantle .of Maryland Technical Trade remarkably similar - and negative. Many, additional surcharge for any multitude oflabs. have their own obscure comers which can School. Sure, Newsweek might accuse especially visual arts and music majors, used Even the so-called Artist Scholars are sub- only b~ reached via the most tortuous routes. Hrabowski of making study sexy. But lets not the word "betrayed" to reflect their relation­ ject to this photo tax. Not exactly a user friendly environment, that get hung up on glittering appearances and ship with circumlocuting administration yes­ And three, our glossy recruitment mags FA building. relegate the very soul of higher education to men. must have some mention, however scant, of The AHSA members have identified these the role of a complementary second-fiddle. Several Artist Scholars were recruited and the existence of A&H programs. So the Pub- noises·as symptomatic of an all-too-present, given scholarships for 'programs which ex­ lie Honors College (an admirable PR illusion) officially institutionalized plan. None of this 1. Aka, blue light central isted only in token f~rm, or were soon dis­ isn't exposed for the trade school it really is elegant enougl) to qualify as conspiracy 2. Last semester I used to study in the CompSci carded. Vibrant and successful programs such wants to be. Instead. of sheltering UMBC's theory material, mainly because any efforts lounge. It was devoid of literature, with the notable exception: two defense contractor's brochures adver­ as Shakespeare on Wheels were bled dry de­ A&H~s. these three checks-and-balances at deception end in superficially rosy cha­ tising a groundbreaking (pun not intended) innova­ spite critical acclaim and a state-wide follow­ achieve an insidious result. • rades. If you will permit me the indulgence tion in missile technology which were casually strewn ing. Here's an eerily equivalenthistorical hint_: of metaphor, passing off a limp corpse as a about the room for perusal. On the marker board w:;i.s Though these illustrations indicate an ir­ Remember when Catherine the Great wanted thriving entity cannot work forever, no mater a prominent warning: "Anyone who is not a CompSci refutable direction of deliberate neglect for to tour her sprawling serfdom? Did her advi- how much rouge is applied· to its waxy or Engineering Major- GET OUT!" the Arts & Humanities, the administration's sors say: "Okay, Cathy. Go ahead and dig cheeks. Sooner or later the stench becomes 3. America was one of the only nations who refused position must be expl3.µied. It would only be those groveling, grubby little peons and as- undeniably palpable. When cornered on these to .ratify an international initiative to ban land illine fair. Keep firmly in mind that university · sess the misery of their situation. We'll keep issues, UMBC administrators abruptly switch use. Some land mine manufacturers make a best-sell­ policy makers are unabashedly obsessed with the light on for you"? their arguments and adopt the gruff "Look ing model which is painted bright yellow, shaped like a toy, and mass airdropped near villages. Anyone with two objectives: money and image. The ~u­ No image-conscious spin:-master could 'tl- kid, show us the money. This no arts and an ounce of oatmeal in their noggin can see that these reaucratic visionaries reckon the narrow pas­ low such a bleak reality to scar the felicity of crafts silliness ain't payin' no freight." weapons are not targeted at soldiers. You can find sage of higher education be~ween these un­ his ruler. So a short carriage _route was If this is-the case, and UMBC honestly ha·s this info in a recent Scientific American. wavering coordinates. Like unaware jour­ planned, whitewashed facades ofprosperous no intention (excepting pretense) of foster­ 4. Masterplan homepage: http://research.umbc.edu/ neymen threading the famed, wreck-strewn _ho~sing on were erected on either side of the ing a hospitable climate f6r the A&H's, -quantock/masterplan.html route between Scylla and Charbydis, road, and hundreds of plump, waving actors AHSA intends to terminate this hocus-pocus. 5. Captal projects homepage: _http:// UMBC's Great Helmsman and crew are tilt­ lined the spaces in between. UMBC's plans At the very least wide-eyed incoming A&H research. umbc. edu/-quantock/chem-phy. html · ing the tiller towards disaster. Determining are equally insidious. The hollow husks of institutional success on financial inflow is A&H departments are presented as evidence Next Installment ... AHSA's Upcoming Projects great for a business, especially if the com­ of a well-rounded, and to use a favorite cam­ pany goal is wanton aggrandizement. pus catchphrase, diverse curriculum.· If you Running a university in this fashion is ir- find this eyidence anecdotal, let me embel­ Nine Protest Recalls Activism . responsible and heedless of what should be lish the doomsaying with a few choice the· goal of a university - learning. But a brushstrokes unearthed. by AHSA research- from CATONSVILLE NINE, page 14 healthy music department and troupes of ac­ ers. tors, however talented, do not glean corpo­ The UMBC Facilities Master Plan Update words_of Daniel Berrigan, "a massive rate dollars. Corporations dole out mad 1997-2007 Summary from the Office of crime against man .. . the deliberate money to UMBC because it is a "feeder Capital Projects, 2/6/ 98?4 provides for the systematic destruction of a poor and school," a meat market for budding high-tech, construction of a 41-acre, 5-building Re­ developing people." peanut-paid drones whose cultivation can be search Park, a new Physics.. Building, a As Berrigan asserted during the directly translated into profit. Any defense Fieldhouse addition, a new UC, rtew resi­ trial, these men and women recog­ contractor who has a few hundred K to sink dence halls, a parking garage, a new Engi­ nized that "the time [was] past when into UMBC rapidly reaps the rewards of its neering Sciences facility, C\ new Public Policy good men may be silent- when obe­ investment. Institute, and one more additional, spariking dience can segregate men from pub­ The unsettling part of this ubiquitous sce­ new parking garage. No improvements or lic risk." nario is a commodification of students who progress having any remote relation with t~e So they acted - they burned the are valued be~ause of .routinized skills, not A&H disciplines is mentioned. records and stood in the parking lot self:actualization or traditional learning. Af­ "UMBC's Mission" is stated as "Science, awaiting the police for 15 minutes. ter all, why would Lockheed/Martin or Engineering, and Public Policy at the gradu­ They felt that the willingness to bear McDonald-Douglas, or any prudent military­ ate level, complemented by strong under­ witness to one's actions was a neces­ . industrial hydra2 fund a "Surrealism in Lit­ graduate Liberal Arts Core." sary component of civil protest. The erature and the Arts Park?" The usage of the word "complement" is group chose, Berrigan explained, "To Establishing a "Pauly Shore Scientific In­ suspicious. If you walk into Burger King, you say with the gift of our liberty if nee: - - stitute" would be more profitable. For what can purchase a meal, and right above the essary our lives: The violence stops these employers desire least are graduates waste receptacle is a bin full of cheap here, the death stops here, the suppres­ with the capabilities to say "Gee boss, I just "complements," i.e., ketchup and salt. The sion of the truth stops here, this war don't know about our new Kluster Bombs secondary relationship of the main meal to stops here!" for Kids Campaign.3 It don't jive with my its less important complements seems to echo And, liberty' is what they sacrificed Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff sense of ethics." the administration's view of the A&H's - to express their moral condemnation Sign of the Nines: This historic sign in To the perspective of UMBC's corporate peripheral, but ultimately unimportant, spice of the w_ar - three years for Daniel Catonsville marks the area's political past. masters, Arts & Humanities kids are a whiny, to accent the main staple of Science. Perhaps Berrigan and various sentences of inquisitive lot lacking the necessary "can-do" the administration has a sub-office occupy­ shorter periods for the others. It is unusual to meet any one under the a_ge- attitude. ing a dingy cubicle in the Capital Projects Today, criticism of the Vietnam War has . of 35 who has heard of the Catonsville Nine Simultaneously, as much as our adminis­ office, which would be appropriately termed become so popularized that it is now an ac­ - it's not the sort of subject we are gener­ trators would love to napalm the Fine Arts the lower-~ase projects office and deal ex­ ceptable topic for television mini-series and · ally taught about in secondary school's his­ Building and its uncouth residents, they can't. clusively with A&H. other mainstream entertainment venues. tory classes. And Catonsville does not appear 5 S.everal unfortunate mechanisms prevent The Capital Projects homepage , a direct Thus, to truly appreciate the revolutionary to reminisce much about this event in local such heroics. Number one, Phi Beta Kappa, detour off of Admin's web representation nature of the Catonsville Nine, it is neces­ history - but, then, Catonsville has always the much coveted honors society mandates gives further financial details. A Chemistry sary to recognize that the napalm burning of been seen: as a fairly conservative tOWQ.. The the existence of standing humanities pro­ building renovation has $16,284,000 slated. draft records in Catonsville was among one infamous draft office was located in what is grams. Number two, UMBC needs the tuition The new Physics building has $22 million of the first nationally recognized anti-war now the Knights of Columbus Hall, right siphoned from unwitting Arts & Humanitie.s earmarked for its construction. A Biology protests. This event set off a string of at least across from the post office. (It's ab~ut a mile majors to fund sever_al cash-intensive, scien­ building renovation will cost about a dozen copy-cat draft file burnings arou~d and half from the UMBC campus.) tific projects. Break this down: A&H students $6,300,000. the country and the Berrigan brothers were Perhaps, on this upcoming 30th anniver­ pay the same tuition for an education which Oh, I forgot the theatre renovation weigh­ household names. The Berrigan brothers are sary of the trial, students and local residents costs far less than their techie counterparts, ing in at a paltry $500,000. Silly me. still stirring up trouble today - Daniel was will drift by the former Local Board Number representing a bargain for UMBC's tech pro­ The massive amounts allocated for the arrested in 1996 for demonstrating and Philip 33 on Frederick Road, and recollect the grams, as expressed recently by a high-level Chemistry expansion were explained with was recently sentenced to two years in prison events that transpired there to rivet the trustee. The chiseled tuition can be diverted. this mystifying, well-meaning statement: "A for vandalizing _a Navy destroyer - they are nation's attention on little Catonsville, Mary­ to fund science labs. The more A&H projects student trying to find a faculty member may both in their 70s. land for a long moment. are slashed, the more money goes.to the sci­ have to traverse several floors a,nd/or to two Writers ante · ences. separate wings to find their professors, not call (· 1 OJ 455-1 260 Ironically, stu-dents enrolled in photogra- exactly a user friendly environinent." anaearn cash .-. P:AG:E'16 ~ ~ ~ THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY - FOCUS S~ptember 15, 1998 I • • ,.. •

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THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 15, 1998 PAOE17

CAROLYN DANCKAERT individually wrapped or have to use single­ Retriever Weekly Staff Writer use disposable razors? How many people buy coffee every day at our own UMBC While walking onto campus on the first Pub in Styrofoam cups when they could day of classes, I was rather struck by the purchase a reusable mug for a mere $1.50? vast numbers of solicitors swarming - Loss of Arts & Humanities at UMBC"). Earth's·natural capacities, although our share (As an added bonus: If you use a Pub mug, around the UC plaza. Around table after So, again, what's wrong with promoting in this deterioration process in not equitable you receive a quarter off every coffee pur­ endless table, the credit card, cellular unchecked consumerism? Open the New amongst societies. For instance, the 20% of chase - a savings of over 60 dollars a phone, and long distant service dealers York Times any day and you'll find adver­ the world living in North America, Western year for daily coffee drinkers). hovered, trying to 1ri'duce me to sign away tisements for two thousand dollar suits and -Europe and Japan consume 7 0% of the While individuals must act more respon- my credit history for a corporate logo-em­ eighty thousand dollar diamond pendants world's paper. That same 20% also use over sibly towards their own waste production blazoned T-shirt. gracing every page - right next to articles half of the world's timber harvested for in- and consumption habits, institutions After years of attending UMBC, I should describing the food crisis stalking Russia anf dustrial use. should also carry their own wasteful have expected no less a display of com­ the famine conditions in North Korea. Isn't America, specifically, has the auspicious weight. mercial excess. I'm sure that all the money our country built upon that grand ethic of honor of being the most wasteful society on -Universities, for instance, have often the campus receives·for permitting these Capitalism that inspired the transformation the planet - on average, Americans toss out stood as the torchbearers of progressive pesky purveyors to prey upon its hapless of shopping from a natural necessity into a - more than twice as much consumer waste as social change - from civil rights to envi­ students goes towa'r~s some admirable end. national pastime? other industrialized countries. The 1,300 ronmentalism, universities have served as They've got to pay for all those demoli­ Just recently, American Demogtaphics pounds of waste each American produces models for the larger society. With rela­ tion ... er ... construction projects some- magazine ran an article detailing how mar­ annually includes 136 pounds of corrugated tive ease, UMBC could make the transi­ how. - ket strategists are now trying to devise ad­ cardboard, 61.7 pounds of beverage bottles, tion from being a cultivator of consumer­ Yet, regardless of how much the univer­ vertisement tactics to target the one- to three­ ·and 66 pounds of books and magazines. It's ism to being a first-rate environmental sity is pulling in from these slick squat­ year-old consumer s~ctor. been estimated that the food Americans waste mecca. ters, it still bothered me that "Consumer­ Besides the basic obscenity of a system in a single day could feed over 240 thousand UMBC could expand its currently dinky ism 101" has to be the first college experi­ which strives to inculcate virtual infants with people for an entire year. recycling program, which allows for only ence for many freshmen. And, given the "brand loyalty," the U-Be-Consumer mantra Communities in Great Britain actually had aluminumcan and limited paper recycling. festivities of last week, it appears that has another major problem - it's a non-sus­ to organize a group called SNAG - Stop If you consider that most people gener­ UMBC is intent on ingraining this lesson tainable ideology. North American Garbage - in order to stop ; ally drink beverages from plastic or glass in its impressionable students. And this charge of non-sustainability does the flow of millions of tons of Americ_an trash bottles, the inadequacy of the university's Fall Frenzy was suc~essfully trans­ not derive from any moralistic qualms I may to British landfills. Yet, now more than ever effort is quite apparent. formed into a frenzy of consumption, com­ personally harbor against a system encour­ before, America continues to dump on the Additionally, the university could make plete with hawkers of cosmetics, lingerie, aging cra~s ma!erial consumption; it's really rest of the world as its waste disposal firms a substantial impact on waste reduction by and assorted Glamour products, all com­ an issue of pure physical limitations on un­ _comb distant sh?res for new potential Fresh purchasing recycled-content paper rather pliments of the Ultimate College Tour. I limited production. Let's consider that the Kills (the world's largest landfill - 3,000 than the virgin - straight from the tree suppose now that Freeman (our local pa­ world population is increasing at a· rate of_ acres on Staten Island). - variety. Buying recycled products not triarch) has been nationally recognized as eighty million new people pe~ year and that A great deal of this consumer trash is gen- only prevents all those trees from going making studying sexy, all students·will be the world economy has expanded sixfold erated because of simple consumer laziness. to the slaughter, but it also "closes the re­ expected to adhere to an archetypal sexy since 1950. Many people still fail to put forth the mini- cycling loop" - if people don't use re­ standard which will necessitate our Now, if the world's economy continued to mal effort required to recycle their household cycled products, what's the use in recy­ university's familial association with the · grow at three percent a year ~it hit four per­ garage - an easy task, particularly in met- cling materials in the first place? likes Of Bebe, Wonderbra, and Cutex. -cent a year in 1997), it will expand from an rnpolitan areas like Baltimore and D.C. with So, why not drop our affable president Hey, but what's the problem, you might output of 29 trillion dollars to 57 trillion dol­ numerous recycling facilities available (the a cyber-note at [email protected] and wonder. Since mass marketing and corpo­ lars in 2020 and then double again by 2050 telep~one book lists local centers). · urge him to implement more effective rate culture has infiltrated every aspect of to reach 138 trillion dollars. While these es­ Additional waste could also be prevented waste reduction and resource conservation American life, why not just sign over the timates may thrill many economists and · if more people critically examined their con- policies? And, before you make another rights of the university now? We could just stock-holders, they fail to provide a complete sumer behavior. Just imagine how many unnecessary purchase, take a moment to rename UMBC "U Must Be Consumers!" picture of the factors involved in maintain­ times a day this scenario takes place: upstand- reflect on our society's massive waste We already have the UMBC "Board of ing such production output. Rising levels of ing citizen goes to the store to make purchase stream and consider actions you can take Visitor$" - a corporate conglomeration resource consumption have led directly to, of one or two items, clerk places items into to clean up your individual tributary's con­ including, among others, the likes of among other problems, increased air pollu­ plastic bag for citizen's carrying convenience, tribution. BG&E, Texaco, Allied Signal, and Rite tion, soil erosion, aquifer depletion and range­ -citizen throws out bag upon returning home. If you would like to become more in- Aid Corp. (Check out http:// land deterioration. Plastic is produced (a very toxic process) and volved in campus environmentalism, Stu­ www.umbc.edu/Business/board.html to As Edward Abbey, ·the eminent environ­ waste is generated needlessly. dents for __Environmental Awareness has view the complete list and to read more mentalist, once said, "Unlimited growth is the How difficult is it for people to say, "No . -numerous activities planned for this aca­ about the possible dubious ends of such ideology of the cancer cell." And, essentially, thanks, I don't need a bag" or even to carry a demic year. Contact Carolyn at corporate/academia alliances, refer to the our economy has become that cancer cell. small bag with them for such purposes? Why [email protected] for more informa­ Focus article, "Opiate for the Masses: The Humans have already surpassed many of the does any one need their cheese slices: to be ti on. Joining Campus 'Politics, from CAMPUS POLITICS, page 14 Young Democrats are focusing on close elec­ tions in the state and ~so in the government Adult Education. The SSF meets every Fri­ level." day at 1 p.m. in Social Sciences 114. There are also Students for ·Environmen­ Other political-related groups on campus tal Awareness and Habitat for Humanity, range from the Freedom Alliance, a group which both seek to create sustainable devel­ that is open to all gay/lesbian students. The opment. Amnesty International, a human Republican Students group, which focuses its rights movement, works to free all prisoners attention and actions on Republican thought of conscience detained anywhere for their and policy. There are also the Young Demo­ beliefs or because of their ethnic origin, sex, crats. Last Saturday, UMBC hosted a: meet­ color or language - who have not used or ing for Young Democrats throughout the state advocated violence. of Maryland. These various political groups at UMBC "College Democrats do the same as Demo­ serve a diverse and changing society, as are Buy recycled. It w6uld -:thean.!h!e \vorld"to them. . crats everywhere, which is try to get all or the students on the campus. To get involved Recycling keeps working k~-~prote~t ~theitfut~re wl{en yoti -bt.iy products certain Democrats elected into office," says with a group, look for events and meetings, made from recyded materials. ·so - ce1e1rat~~ America Recycles Day on. faculty advisor Professor Steve Boyan. "The or contact the SGA office for officer contacts. November 15th. 1;,.-,r a free hrochu,re, call 1-800-CALL-EDF -or visit our web site at www.eJf.org u L~Lli G- LLJ L=LG- LL=Ll =l - L=LLL~\l_ L=L=L \cur din2ct line tc The t::i.2ui12-\ 2r \ i\ ce-1-../\. .&EPA F'-..,st [nquil ies L"'l c01nt1H:::-11is ~=!J:_10Ul U1e p~:q.}~! . -· PAGE 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 15,. 1998 ~/ •.:. ~ <' ~- ···~ . _ .. ,, .. Simple Simon Falls ·short

S.imon Birch :(**), the new film from They travel everywhere t.oge~her , Grumpy Old Men director Mark 'Steven Simon rfding side_car while Joe~ pedais·, · Johnson, makes its mood_clear from the open­ In spite of his three-yeai~ old , size,' Simon · ing framing sequence. Joe Wenteworth (nar- is a typical pre-teen, raging ho~oii~s and· Movie Review rator Jim Carrey, in a all. Both boys have a strong need for af­ token appearance) firmation ·- Joe wants to find his bio­ by Victory. Marasigan s t an d s b e f ore t h e logical father; Simon wants to be a di­ gravestone of childhood friend Simon Birch, vine hero. These quests make up the bulk whom he says had a profound influence on of the film, and surprisingly, neither is his life arid also killed his mother. Um? did I presented or resolved satisfactorily. hear that righ~? I though~ this was a comedy! . Despite glaring flaws in plot mechan­ Well, yes, for the first half hour or so, ics, some goofy slice-of-life vignettes Simon.Birch is a heart-wamring comedy. But (courtesy of John Irving, who adapted his what begins as a humorous look at the boys' book A Prayer For Owen Meany) and ,friendship devolves into a rather muddy dis­ good direction are almost enough to pull course on faith and identity. Simon Bi·rc·h out of C-grade territory. Simon himself, played by Ian Michael Johnson knows a good sight when he sees / Smith, is a scene-stealer. Less than half the it, and he makes the maximum use of the ---... -r size of a normal 12-year-old, Simon ignores scenery: Every shot is composed so that his handicap and manages to rise above the we may enjoy Gravestown in all its splen­ heads .of his peers with his acerbic wit' and dor. But nice images alone do not a movie uncompromisingly positive outlook. He plays make. ball with the big boys and is a hit with the .Helping the film along are some ster­ cheek-p'inching ladies. Of course, he has ling performances. Newcomer Smith is deeper convictions to deal with, and his place able to carry off both Simon's pixie-ish in God's plan is what drives him. _ _playfulness and heart-wrenching grief be­ The final months of Joe's friendship with lievably. It is unfortunate that his char­ Simon unravel in the quaint berg of acter becomes more enigmatic and less Gravestown, circa 1964. The film's initial expressive as the film progresses. Hollywood Pictures setup is wonderful, with its visions of Sun­ As the doomed Mrs. Wenteworth, Small Soldiers: Newcomer Ian Michael Smith and Joseph MazeHo play unlikely friends day school shenanigans and fresh-as-lemon- Ashley Judd.brings instant likability to in Simon Birch, a slice-of-life comedy/drama based on A Prayer tor Owen Meany. . ade portraits of small town life. Joseph her brief but memorable role. And Oliver Mazello plays the young Joe Wenteworth, Platt has a small but pivotal role as Mrs. mileage out of her role as Joe's grandmother, On a purely technical level, Simon Birch who is bound to Simon like a sibling, but re­ Wenteworth's boyfriend Ben, who is left with had she been allowed to show more than the has all the makings of a good movie. If the ality-checks his diminutive friend's dreams an awkward burden after a freak accident. glimmers of wisdo.m and sympathy the story itself had found a confident focus, an of grandeur like a father. Dana Ivey could have eked more dramatic screenplay gives her. instapt classic might have emerged. Third·' Round ·Knock "Out

Canibus' Feature Length Debut Hits The Str~et

other female rapper, aside from the super tal­ CHRIS TAYLOR Retriever Weekly ~f}.itorial Staff ented Lauryn Hill,·.niakes a solid debut on this track, and Canibus -shows off his skills ·With his.freshman effort, the full length CD very nicely. " Patriots" · is the album's only entitied "Can-I-Bus", the young rapper who · song which features guest rappers:-Affer Big first made waves ,on LL Cool J's "4,3,2,1," Pun's "Capjtal Punishment"-and Fat Joe's proves that he is for real. In one of the year's "Don Cartegena," which .contained only . most anticpated debuts, Canibus drop~ lyri- TWO songs without guests, it's ruce to know cal wisdom on track after track, leaving doubt- · that an emcee can still hold his own without ers and player haters with the kno wleoge that help. The only weak point of" Can-I-Bus" is yes, he cari bust. On the album's intro, ·the the production. The beats on this album leave CD's lone skit -- sorp.ething very refreshing much to be desired. Everything-~eems to in this industry -- Canibus is heard hacking come togethen)n "Second Round K.O." and into government files via the internet. He "Let's Ride," but aside from that, there are 'mutters something about being the "world's no production high points. The lyrics more. greatest rapper turned computer hacker." This than make lip for this, though. Canibus ad­ immediately clues in the listener that "Can-I- dresses t1Verything from the politics of the Bus;' will be more of an intellectual pursuit rap· industry to the government's plotto con­ than .say, the latest offering from No Limit. ceal the existence of aliens. This-is a CD · The intro leads immediately into "Patriots" which makes you think, not just·bob your which features Pras and Free.from the Refu- head. If Canibus is the future of hip hop, it is · gee Camp Navy Seals. Free, the Camp"s only · in very capable hands.

·Get 'your groove back. Write for The Retriever Weekly. Call x1260 im-mediately. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 15, 1998 PAGE19

• • • a • a now in theatres ... Capsule reviews by Ja°mie Peck unless otherwise -denoted.-, Armageddon (*1/z out of four) It makes Deep Impact look like Citizen Kane. Bruce Willis leads a team of drillers into space to destroy a king-sized comet before it smacks into Earth. Caffeinated director Michael Bay keeps his ed­ its quick, his cameras moving and his shots un­ der five seconds each, resulting in a confusing, migraine-inducing non-event movie. Brainless • and overstuffed, but not in a good way at all. Blade <**1/z) Wesley Snipes, looking cool in black leather and Terminator shades, has fun playing the Marvel Comics superhero, a vam­ pire slayer who's half-vampire himself Blade is needlessly overlong by about a half-hour and loaded with confusing backstory (what's this I hear about the Blood God?), but still manages · to score an indirect hit by giving audiences some 20th Century Fox

TriStar Pictures pure, enthralling viscera to sink their teeth into. Happy Couple? There's Something In Knock Off, Jean-Claude Van Damme looks for a way out of De~d Man on Campus<***) Tom Everett Scott About Mary's Cameron Diaz and Green Insane in the Chain: and Mar.1\-Paul Gosselaar play college freshmen a plot involving a counterfeit ring, the Russian mafia and the CIA. who try topush a suicidal roommate over the Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre. edge so they can get straight A's fa this MTV- thriller has visual fl air to spare, and .said glitz produced take on the popular urban legend. elevates an-!!!!riguing (if a little standard) gov- Knock Off: Van.Damme Bad Their scheme, needless to say, goes more than a ernment-conspiracy plot to a solid level of en- little wrong, resulting in some hilarious mo- . teitainment. .Leave, oh, 20 minutes early and There are bad movies. There are bad mov­ Director Tsui Hark, who previously worked ments of both black and lowbrow comedy. Sol- you'll miss the stupid ending (and the weird ies. And then there's Knock Off (no stars), with Van ·Damme on Double Team, fills idly performed, especially by energized scene- closing credits). Nicolas C_age, as manic as ever, an appropriately-titled vehicle for Jean-: Knock Off with visual gimmicks that serve stealer Lochlyn Munro. Surprising summer fun. ' plays a corrupt cop who becomes embroiled in Claude Van Damme that just transcends bad­ only as empty distractions. Like a watered­ Ever After (***1/z) This revisionist twist on the a rather fishy assassination plot at an Atlantic ness altogether. Granted, Van Darrime's films down version of this summer's Snake Eyes, · classic Cinderella story soars, largely due to an - City boxing.match. Fine use of setting. are fairly easy targets the camera' knows no_boundaries, traveling electric lead performance from Drew Barrymore There's Something About Mary (***1h) All Movie Review when it comes time through newspapers, telephone lines, com­ and a supporting cast that never hits a lone false sorts of envelope-pushing risque business from by Jamie Peck for a critical analysis, puters and rifle scopes as if they weren't solid note. (Even Dou gray Scott's Prince Charming the creators of Dumb and Dumber a.iiil Kingpin, ~ but this stinker sinks the buff Belgian objects; one weird sliot appears to wander isn't bland!) Ever After ditches the faiiy god- · only this time strung together as a sweetroman- mother angle in favor of a more realistic ap- :tic comedy. Cameron Diaz is the S.Ought-after kickboxer to a deadly new low. At least some inside a shoe and emerge from a pool table proach, and therein lies its chann - you fall into Mary of the title, coveted by a whole slew of of his most recent work boasted scattershot pocket. Completely unacceptable action se­ this revamped tale's.lively spell and almost for- weirdos and one high school flame (Ben Stiller) positive attributes-1994's TimeCop (argu­ quences only ·add to the maddening confu­ get you already know how it's going to tum out. w~ose tuxedo zipper got in the way of what ably his best) had an interesting story, 1996' s sion, especially a horrible boat chase that _ 54 (***)Mark Christopher's portrait of the in- could have been a great prom date. Wait'll you Maximum Risk looked fantastic and last opens the film on two left feet. · Knock Off famous '70s and '80s dance club paints a vivid see the hair gel gag. year's Double Team was an unintentional employs slow-motion, · fast-forW'ards and portrait of disco-era excess without portraying Why Do Fools .Fall in Love C***)Doo-wop gutbuste~. Knock Off, on the other hand, freeze-frames to give its various battles and muchoftheexcess. Themoviehasaprettyshal- singer Frankie Lyman's short life 'and many claims none of these "qualities," not even the fight scenes an outlandish energy, but all of low story and the supporting performers aren't loves are chronicled in this music-filled biopic, inadvertent laugh track. You could strain this flashy excess is completely unsynchro- satisfyingly fleshed-out, but an extremely lively which tells his story in CQurtroom flashbacks by yourself into a hernia looking for a sole good nized. - (not to mention good-looking) cast and the snap- · three women (Vivica A. Fox, Halle Berry and shots of the Studio 54 hustle and bustle keep Lela Rochon) who claim to be his wife. In the thing here. Knock Off wouldn't have been so painful things fas.t and interesting. Mike Myers and the end, the movie manages to bring some philo- The backdrop is 1997 ·Hong Kong, right to sit through had it at least been diverting in pumping soundtrack are worth the price of ad- sophical weight to its concept, and the classic around the time the country's British rule was the way that only terrible movies can be, but mission alone. '(See the September-I, 1998 is- rock-and-roll is worth hearing in a theatre with handed over to China. Van Damme plays no such luck. It's a straight-faced disaster, un­ sue of The Retriever Weekly for a full review.) a great sound system. (See the September 1, 1998 Marcus Ray, a swarthy designer jeans rep bearably squandering a potentially juicy film­ Saving Private Ryan (****)In Steven issueofTheRetrieverWeeklyforafullreview.) (aren't you just loving this already?) with making style and wasting a fine supporting Spielberg's completely intense WWII epic, Tom Your Friends & Neighbors(**) Neil LaBute's connections to the counterfeit underground, cast (Rob Schneider, Lela 1lochon and Paul Hanks leads a squad of men deep into enemy follow-up to his enormously controversial In the a market that's being retooled by an interna­ Sorvino ), generally making its 90-minute territory to rescue a soldier who's lost tfuee Company ofMen follows the social and sexual brothers in combat. The amazing, jarring ol>en- mteraction of a group of six very different people tional smuggling ring - they're installing running time feel like an eternity. Perhaps ~ · ing depicts the Omaha Beach invasion, and cer- . (Jason Patric, Ben Stiller, Catherine Keener, tiny "nanobombs" in the front waist buttons! Knock Off reaches its intolerably absurdist tainly ·does not skimp on the sickening reality Aaron Eckhart, Amy Brenneman and Nastassja (Please hold all jokes about exploding zenith not long after it starts, when, for no of war. Ryan's important story, shattering emo- Kinski). The acting by this ensemble is first-rate, crotches). Covert CIA agents, turncoat sales discernable reason, Van Damme carts side­ tion and graphic: violence make it the IJ?.OSt particularly Patric's cold, chauvinist egomaniac, executives, former KGB thugs and the Rus­ kick Schneider around the crowded streets deeply affecting film since Schindler'i'Li.st. (See but the movie is like listening to people you're sian mafia all somehow figure into Knock Off of Hong Kong in a rickshaw race. The latter the September I, I 998 issue of The Retriever not fond of whine, whine, whine. (See the Sep- as.well; but the plot is best described as in­ grabs an eel from a nearby food, stand and Weekly for a full review.) tember 1, 1998 issue of The Retriever Weekly comprehensible, annoying sound and fury. In begins pelting the former with it; screaming, Snake Eyes C***) .8rian De Palma's new for a full review.) fact, if not for the generously wordy produc­ "Move that big, beautiful ass of yours!" If · tion notes, a summary of the film's set-up you know what's good for you, you'll do the would be downright impossible. same.

Gramercy Pictures Boys Will Be Pigs: Aaron Eckhart, Jason Patric and Ben Stiller engage in locker room chatter in Neil LaBute's Your Friends & Neighbors. PAGE20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES . September 15; 1998 Chess Team to Meet Stanford from CHESS, page 10 - ments. It's about getting everyone·ifivolved, including novices. We want to send the mes­ and the· number one player in the United sage that anyone is welcome, and encouraged States under the age of 18; Oksana "Mongo­ to join." lian Terror" Tarassova, ranked 14th in the In order to accomplish this, the tournament country; and World Junior Champion Tal featured riot only the Open category, but also Shaked. In the past two ye_ars, the team has categories for those individuals rated under earned a third-place and a first-place finish 1800 by the USCF, as well as for non-rated . at the Pan-American Intercollegiate Team beginners. This is the first year in which the Chess Championship, widely regarded as the beginner category has existed, and Sherman "World Series" of chess. This year, a return noted an excellent increase in the numbers trip to this championship tournament, heid of UMBC students 'interested in the game of this year in Dallas, is planned, as well as many chess. Overall, he estimated that about 50 other events, such as an October 10 six-board people participated this year. match with· Stanford University's Cardinal While most students might not think about Chess Club on the seventh floor of the AOK it or realize it, our school is respected OPEN TO THE J.ibrary. Faculty advisor Dr. Alan T. Sherman throughout the country as having one of the PUBUC predicts a UMBC victory: "The outcome will finest chess programs around. The club has ·· US'''· GREAT SEATS AVAILABLE · ~ : m · not be close." established a high standard of play, and has MONDAY:. . . The Chess Club makes a concentrated ef­ all intentions of maintaining it, all the way CALL 1 ·800-US4-NAVY fort to keep this tournament from becoming from the novice level to the international I an elite event open only to those at the peak level. This year's tournament gave all indi­ of the chess world. As Sherman said, "The cations that this task, wltjle difficult, is likely Chess Club is ,not just about national tourna- for these Retrievers. Help us help you. \IVrite for us and earn cash. Call x1260 for further information.

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When something is too ex1reme for words, it's to the Nth degree. And that's the level of technology-you'll experience at Raytheon. Raytheon has formed a new technological superpower-Raytheon Systems Company, composed of four major technological giants: Raytheon Electronic Systems, Raytheon E-Systems, Raytheon n Systems and Hughes Aircraft. The new Raytheon Systems.Company is driving technology to the limit. And we're looking for engineers who want to push the envelope. Break new ground. Make their mark. · At Raytheon, you'll take technology-and your career-to the highest possible level. You'll take it to the Nth. We have a lot to tell you about the new Raytheon Systems Company and the exciting opportunities we have available. Plan on visiting our booth at your college career fair, If you are unable to attend the fair then check out our website at www.rayjobs.com and please send your resume to: Raytheon Resume Processing Center, P.O. Box 660246, MS-201, Dallas, TX 75266. ------~ -..------.... -----.

THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 15, 1998

Thanks to you, all sorts of everyday Events Happening Around the 1 p~oducts are being made from the I paper. plastic. metal and glass that Greater 6a lttmore-Waehington Area you've been recycling. But to keep recycling working to Tuesday 9/15 The Havre De Grace Decoy Museuni is help protect the environment. you Slabs 0' Meat R' Us open from 10-4 on Saturdays. Go see fake Getting tired of Pub food yet? Go to a real ducks. This attraction if free. Please note need to buy those prod49ts. pub. Kisling's Tavern in Canton offers that this is the Havre De Grace Decoy Mu­ Tuesday Prime Rib Night for only $9.95. seum, not the Havre De Grace Decay Mu­ Price includes veggies and salad They?re seum, for which there is admission, in ad­ BUY RICYCLEDl. located at 2100 Fleet Street. For more info, dition to -some waivers you must sign, I call 410-327-KISS . . would imagine. For more in for regarding the Decoy Museum, call 410-939-3739. Wednesday 9/16 I Yes, Yes, They Did Kill Kenny! Sunday 9/20 I Join Mums for their South Park Party ev­ Axis' Bold Angels ery Wednesday night. Free pool, free Dead Baltimore's own Axis Theatre presents Kenny Shooters; what more could you Angels in America, Tony Kushner's pow­ want? Furthermore, Mums' motto: "Drink erful play about love, lust, morality, homo­ Like A Fish." Mums is located at 1132 South sexuality, Monilons, communism, AIDS, _Hanover Street; call.'em at410-547-7415. drag queens, you-name-it. Definitely not lite fare ? you may be forced to think. The first Thursday 9/17 part, Millennium Approaches, runs through ., Support Local Music! Nov. 1, and Perestroika (the second part) Velvet Moon and Soma Holiday take to the begins on the '.M~ of September, running stage at the Br~ Monkey in Fells Point. throughNov. gm, They alternate weekends, Get out of the house, I?m sure Friends is a so for complete details (and clarification) AND SAVE: . I rerun. It's 21 +, so don't embarrass yourself call Ax-is at 410-243-5237. by getting gown there without an ID. Call So look for and buy products n:iade 410-522-6784 for the details. - Monday9/21 I i Nothing Happens on Monday Nights. from recycled materials. And don'.t for- I I Friday 9/18 The Eldorado Lounge offers "Adult Enter­ qet to celebrate America Recycles Day That's Mr. Belvedere, to You tainment" - they don't even call it.fine . I Happy Hour at the 13 111 Floor of the Belved­ adult entertainment. C'mon, have a little on November lSth. ere is from 6-9. Eat, drink. meet someone pride in your work! The ad touts "domestic It would mean the world to us. For a I named Mary. The Belvedere is at 1 East beers $4," which may be a bit pricey. for Chase Street, at the comer of Chase and me. You'll just have to give my regards. free brochure. call l-800-CALL-EDFor Charles. Call 410-783-1332 for more infor­ While you're at it, wish them a happy _Z5m mation. anniversary. The Eldorado Lounge is lo­ vi.Sit our web site at www.edf.org I cated at 323 West Baltimore Street {aka Saturday 9/19 - "The Block"). For more info, or if you want Quack, Quack With Your Bad Self. to become a dancer, call 410-727-5798.

- .,-

-ANJ> YES, l l<.NOIJ "OIM N«~ · ""°'11..D -Go Uf$bQl IF "'fMCrY ~ "Tktt; S'NFF ~~ PEA~ MWftS • 9tlt'" YoV cNIT AMI> AN"ITHIHCr ON ..,2.0 .. "'llWr lSN"T ~ MUCH • fu\.'fE1> AU..°'~ lt1'1~°" • PAGE22 =-- THE RETRJEVEK WEEKLY FEATURES-~" September 15~ 1998--

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Sept. 15, 1998 PAGE23

Volleyball Beats West Virginia Hangs Tough against College Park BY CHRIS IERB

CHRIS KERNER Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Baseball's Postseason

As the baseball season is near­ The UMBC women's. Wells get a lot more consistent ing its end it is about that time for volleyball team ended offensive support than do Clemens the discussions about who should their second week of play and Martinez so it isn't fair to ptit win the individual awards to be­ with a come-from-behind';'.; them in the same category. win over West Vrrginia, re- ;­ gin. First, however, I'd like to The NL Cy Young award is a bounding from a heart-­ hand out a few awards for futility very tough one to call. There is breaking loss to the Terps this major league season. The fir8t Maddux and Kevin Brown of the earlier in the week. Their category: Biggest Dumbass Ever Padres. Maddux has been strug­ to Walk the Face of the Earth and overa11 record now stands gling lately while Brown contin­ at 4-3. this awatd goes to that Cardinals ues to pitch at the top of his game. On Tuesday, the Re­ groundskeeper who gave back They are ranked first and second trievers traveled to Col­ McGwire's homerun ball for noth­ in th~National League in ERA; lege Park to take on a ing in return. Are you kidding Maddux at 2.20, Brown at 2.36. tough Terps squad. The me!?! It's understandable that you My choice is &rown because the match lasted over two wouldn't demand any money for Padres would be much worse off the ball, but nothing at all! Forget · hours as each team scored if he wasn't there than ~>e Braves at least I 0 points in every about it! I'd be asking for season would be if Maddux wasn't there. tickets, autographed balls, photo game. Unfortunately for American League MVP goes to ops, jerseys, baseball cards, bat: UMBC, they only scored Bernie Williams. Of all the play­ ting gloves, bats, and my own 15 in one of the four ers the Yankees can afford to lose, piece of the Cardinals organiza­ Williams is the one they can't. games as they fell, 10-15, Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff tion before I gave that ball up. In­ 16-14, 13-15, and 12-15. Sophomore Joanne Marshall makes diving save against West Virginia They proved that earlier this sea­ stead, this guy gets to go to Disney Senior outside hitter as teammate Lisa Cline looks on. son when they had to deal with ' Megan McNamara led the Retriev- Saturday night's gamy was a. fourth game as well when they led World and be on David Letterman. several injuries. Derek Jeter got ers with 25 kills and senioroutside much different story a·s UMBC 13-11 and held serve. UMBC head He didn't even get a thank you injuried and the team was still suc­ hitter Lisa Cline, who was named came out ready to play, destroying coach Catherine Lavery called a from McGwire when he handed cessful and the same happened Northeast Conference Player of the West Virginia in the frrst game, 15: timeo~t and tried to settle her play­ him the ball on the field. when Tino Martinez went down Best Pitch of the Year goes to Week, added 21. Senior setter 7. The Mountaineers would come ers down. Whatever she said for a few games. But when Will­ LaNae Baker chipped in with 52 back in the second and third games, worked because UMBC responded Orioles reliever Armando Benitez, iams was injured, the Yankees had assists. The loss was the third for however, by capitalizing on numer­ by winning the next four points and who, directly after giving up a some problems. He is the key for the Retrievers on the season, all of ous Retriever mistakes. It appeared homerun, beaned Tino Martinez in this team. He leads the AL in bat­ which have been close. that West Vrrginia would :win the see VOLLEYBALL, page26 the back on the next pitch. This ting average at .341 and he has hit • leads me to my next award which 24 homeruns while driving in 91 goes to Best Fight This award runs in only 113 games. There is Men's Soccer Beats LaSalle, goes to the Orioles and Yankess no one else that could be consid­ for the brawl that ensued after ered for MVP. Benitez plunked Martinez. One .· In the National League, every­ But Loses to College Park sidenote in that fight was the one has already given the MVP to [ haymaker that Alan_Mills landed . S~y So~a. Aft~r all, that is the (: CHRIS KERNER on Darryl Strawberry.-Mills gotJ! · logical chmce, seemg as how Sosa ! : Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff running start from the bullpen and has 62 home runs and 145 RBI's !' just laid out Strawberry in the dug­ while batting .313. However, what r The UMBC men's soccer team out. That was exciting to watch. happens if the Cubs don't make ;; endured both highs and lows this Worst Pitcher of the Year goes the playoffs, is Sosa still the ; : I week with a 3-2 win over LaSalle to the Pirates Todd Van Poppel, hands-down choice? The answer : and a 6-1 loss to Maryland-Col­ who has been given so many is no. Moises Aiou deserves a real '. lege Park. chances to be good and still isn't. hard ·look for MVP because of i In the win over the Explorers, He was the number one pick in the whit he has added to the Astros. ' UMBC trailed after the first half draft by Oakland a few years back He is batting .314 with 38 homers · .. · · .­ 1-0 when LaSalle_scored 36 min­ and he has yet to amount to any­ and 122 RBI's. Sure those num- utes into the game. The Retriev­ thing d~cent. People still aren't . bers pale in comparison to Sosa's, · ers came out ready to play ih the willing to give up on him yet, but but he has more walks than second half, however, as they they will soon learn. Sammy as well as 67 less . notched two tallies in a span of · Now on to the ~eal _ awards. Cy strikeouts. Not to mention what he three minutes. The first goal came Young in the American League has added to the Astros besides his at 57:56 when freshman goes to Clemens, hands down. hitting. He has the experience of midfielder James Hamilton People want to talk about David willning the World Series last year scored. At the 60: 17 mark, the Re­ Cone and David Wells, but there and he is a veteran leader. If the trievers were at it again as senior is no comparison. Clemens has an Cubs make the postseason, Sosa midfielder Ted Lawler set up ERA of2.69, a record of 18-6, and wins MVP; if not, Sosa still wins, freshman midfielder Matt Joseph Dave Chen Retriever Weeekly Staff 234 strikeouts in only 211 innings but it should be a really close vote. in front of the net for the score. Sophomore Matt Gormley heads the ball in Retrievers win over of work. The only pitcher close to Lastly, I would like to congratu­ With UMBC now leading 2-1 the LaSalle on Saturday. any of those numbers is Boston's late the Baltimore Orioles for win­ Explorers responded at 65:58 Pedro Martinez, who has been lost ning the Biggest Disappointment with a goal of their own to tie the goal was his 60th career point, mak­ keeper Mike Griffith recorded three in the Yankees success and of the Year Award. This team has game at 2-2. The game remained ing him only the eighth player in saves in gaining the victory. Clemens resurgence. Martinez a lot of work to do in the offseason tied until Lawler launched a shot UMBC history to record that many Earlier in the week, UMBC trav­ boasts an ERA of 2.74, a record to get back to the top next year. 15 yards from the goal with only points in a career. The Retrievers eled to College Park to take on the of 18-5 and 227 strikeouts. He Losing Alomar and Palmeiro eight minutes left that escaped the would go on to' win the·game, eras­ powerful Terps. The Retrievers did should be the runner-up to won't really help them improve opposing goaltender's reach, giv­ ing the_memory of their brief two Clemens in this race. Cone and much either. We shall see. ing UMBC a 3-2 lead. Lawler's game losing streak. Junior goal- See SOCCER, page 27 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS September 15, 1998 Women's Soccer Falls to Hokies

JOHN MICHAEL MCCRORY The second half began much like the . Retriever Weekly Staff Writer first with the Hokies scoring two more goals in the first thirteen minutes and vaulting to a In their third game Qf~dle season on Friday 4-1 lead. UMBC attempted a rally at the the UMBC women's ~soccer team fell two 73:59 mark with a goal by freshman Jennifer goals short in Blacksiftrg, Virginia against Wtlhelm assisted by junior Theresa Rosbert. Virginia Tech, 4-2. TOO loss moved the Re­ This score brought the Retrievers within 4- trievers record to 1-2 - ~e year. · 2, but they would get no closer. Junior goal­ The Hokies jumpe ~-i'lut in front just seven keeper Mandy Robins notched eight saves in minutes into the gam "'·with a goal. VITginia the loss. Tech woJild not let uptj's they notched their The Retrievers home opehe}:" is Saturday, s-econd goal of the fast~ just minutes later. September 19, at 4 p.m. against Robert Mor­ UMBC :would get ori3the. board before the ris. The game will be played at UMBC Sta­ half ende,~ _on an un~ted goal by sopho­ dium on the artificial surface. Robert Morris more Erin Lesh. The fiii half ended with the is the team's first Northeast Conference op­ ·,' ''1·· . . Hoakies leading 2-1. -:. ~: · ponent of the season. - . ··~ .¥

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. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY -· :.SPORTS · Septe.tnberl5, 1998 PAGE'25 rsophomore Prangley HO:iJes to Have Another 'Impact Season ~~~~~~~~~~. ~~~~~- . ' PRATISH KUMAR more than tennis. Puryear since she earned Rookie-of-Year honors for the Retriever Weekly Staff Writer expected the players to do · Big South Conference and was voted to the first their best and instilled in team all-conference 'squad. In addition, she was As a returning sophomore on the women's them the notion that hard voted as 'the team's MVP. tennis team, Karen Prangley is expected to com­ work pays off. In addition, Her plans for the future are not c:pmpletely pete for a top spot in the rotation. She will com­ Puryear·treated tennis as a decided, but Prangley ·has narrowed her choice pete in both singles and doubles competition means to develop and of a major to either.business or economics. Pos­ and hopes to maintain her qumber one seeding build character and self-re­ sible considerations include becoming certified in the singles category. Last season, she played liance. These values and in finance, a stockholder, a certified public ac­ at the number two position in doubles. traits had ·no boundaries countan~ or earning a Masters in business ad­ During her first year on the squad as a fresh­ because he expected his ministration. man, Prangley competed as the top seed on the players to use them into Prangley looks to improving last year's team and earned an impressive record of 14-8. their adult lives. record as her personal goal. She believes that a The team participated in its final year in the After winning the Big few ingredients are necessary for the team to Big South Conference .and will take part in South championship in its achieve solid success. ''The team will definitely Northeast Conference competition starting in last year of competition, need hard work," explained Prangley, · "The the fall of 1998. Prangley firmly feels that the Prangley expects the teani team came togeth.er well and we need to fight team is ready for the chail¢nge. to raise its level of perfor­ for each other to the very end." "I think our team will have an unbelievable mance. "Despite winning Prangley believes that the first yeai of com­ year and do really well," predicted Prangley. the Big South, we were petition in the Northeast Conference will.be for­ "If we can achieve great success this year, then very young," explained midable since they have never played any of we have a good chance of getting to the Prangley. "Now, we are the schools in the past. She feels that certain NCAA's." more confident and not as matches against Central Connecticut and Prangley encountered a tough time this sum­ timid as last year." Towson State will be more challenging than the mer since she was involved in a car accident. Prangley has been play­ rest. In addition, the Mount Saint Mary's Invi­ She underwent lots of physical therapy and ing tennis for a long time. tational will feature tough teams. seems to have recovered completely. Her per­ She started to play at the Prangley feels that UMBC's tennis program sonal goals include playing her hardest after her age of nine and began is definitely on the rise and.that last year's per­ accident and putting forth her ultijnate effort to ·competitive matches at 10. Jason Putsche I Retriever Weekly_ Staff formance proved it. Currently, UMBC has a help the team. Her desire to play was a Karen Prangley hopes to avoid. sophomore slump after national Division 1 tanking of 133. Her reasons for choosing UMBC were pri­ direct result of her parents stellar freshman season in which she won Big South Prangley's overall impression of UMBC is marily two-fold: the proximity to home and the building a tennis court in Rookie-of-the-Year honors. positive and uplifting in terms of balancing aca­ coaching philosophy taught by Keith Puryear, their backyard. She played demics, athletics, and a social life. "The bal­ the men's and women's head tennis coach. She tennis initially and found that she picked it up Award during_ her high school career and even ance oJ all three items can be hard, but is not as is a native of Hyland, MD and graduated from fast. received a Zonal Sportsmanship Award, a na­ bad as it appears," stated Prangley. "I h

Circulate'. yo~r iOl, resume to Mon, Sept. 21, J?.A_PE 1-2 PM, U<; 310 Think you know all about rap.e? Are:you sure? What you don't know hundred~;ol - can hurt you. Come find out the ~asi~s-from Marie Yek .of Student corporate"' ~n~ ,. federaJ- · ., Launch.Your -Health and Tim BLAHBLAH from .the State Police. recruiters; - Next Car~er . .. '"." - ~ :~~· ,.-_ ,.? ~ ";. ~ .: ·Wed, Sept)3, SAf~Tf-F,AjR~ "J.l-2/ UC Plaza ~ .... ~ . - ,; . M ' I · _)r-~ ';:~:.\_ ~~: ~-;~·~· • ... • . ove.: .·. Br~ng your valuable~: for eng~~vin'i '~-~igp . rip fgt ;Rip_self-defense ExhibitQls-:. ,...... ~. ~- · . - ~lasses, get infonn~tion: · oif-~r'»tdrt~gj~ciurseif'r-:r·' .. ·~, ·. IBM:'/~'l. -~ ·: ~- -~'. ~_ ·. :,_,, :satu.rd.ay, ·· .. ' ·,... • ~ :- • -~ ~ ..... ~-- . it-._ -~. ~---tt'l"!t~~ .-.. -::;;:~... - ' . ~~ .. ~ ~'... '" ~ --~ ('>··.... ,,: ~ ,, ~: ..; ! MerriU Ly:Q~h Pfizer, Inc:· · Mon., Sept28, PiZZA with.the POLICE, 1-2 PM Xerox 1 :Uc;, ;Ballr9011-1 LotJi:iS:e Le~ abou~ ~h~-. R~P s_elf-defens~ class and September 19 h . . ; .. - - ~· :.; ...... • ·.. :. . . ~. . . Avis Arbitron Federal· Express Hours: Sears .Seminars: 9:00. AM - 10:15 A~ Expo: 10:30 AM - 5:30 PM , ·}\ Ii of and tebhniques. The Procter & h~u~ pr.~gra~ · I~~l;ti~ : ·_self-de(~n~~ ·i~~~ics . :· .... wHEN: : EyeryTuesday . (ln~ Thursd~~ fro~ 6-7 PM·beginning Gamble·Co. . OCT. 6 and·endirigNb0 -i2. Locatidn'to~ be determined. Class · And many more... Washington Marriott size is limited. COST: $12.00 for workbook. Wardman Park Hotel 2660 Woodley Rd. at Connecticut NW Washington, D.C. WIN A FREE SPACE by entering a qrawing at the WOMEN'S Woodley Park Metro Stop CENTER! Sign up at any of the SAFETY for Success Workshops •·• • ·• • • • • • • • • • • . • · ••~•• .• . II!•• . • · ~.. .,••."·• :•c•.: •:• ·•,•:•,• ·•·• •:••·• •:,•:•:•·•:•· ·: · ;For,moreiriformation on ; atteh~i~g,, pl~~~gnta~ i ~$ ii.:i~ Admission to the · . at (805)682·5843 ext 810 or Visitour web site t0, : tegi~tetq~t!1 Expo Hall and · HispanDafa~ 360 S:Hope Ave:; Ste; ~OOC .., Seintil .' B~~ara~ CA'9 Start Out SAFE at UMBC this semester!! All Career · · FAX (805) 687-0442 E-mail: hdata@hbhlc~corn > Development Be smart and protect yourself! Seminars~ ..nw!HisnanData:com :, ·· PAGE.26. THE RETRIEVER. WEEKLY SPORTS. .Septem.ber 15, 1998 - • • - . 'l ~ ~ - ' .

The volleyba.11 team's most fanatical.supsiorters had a lot to cheer abotifon Saturday at the UMBC Fieldhouse, where · the Retrievers: defeated Big East power West Virginia in , · five thrilling games. The team's 75-24 record over the · tast three:.years, in,cluding three straighhrips to· the Big· South Championship match, · ·· has attracted some of the strongest support any UMBC team has ever had ~ "'

. · D.av<~ · cheri J. Retiever Weekly St~ff '

Dave Chen I Retriever W~ekly Staff Sophomore.,Joanne M•rshall attempts : kill in win ;over: ·!t~st~vi~ginia .. ... : ...... • .. ~.. ~ ~-~ ... ~ ~·· · > ... • ~ ......

--..: .. ,,,. ~.~ ... ~~· . . · .. ··;.. . . ;· ,_.· " . .: -., . ·._. . , •. -.. -· ...- .• !--- Retfie-Vers RanY::i~~st Mountaineers: .,.. ...,, : . ' . ' ~ ·) from VOLLEYBALL, page-23

tiei~g the,,matcg - ~ttwb g ~~~ apiece . . -- . ".•. ,t: t.>{; -· "I just"gav€ them ifi.structions on how i o; •' "- :7 '),~r"...-. .- . . ~ . J~e Pal_m Ill"' connect~d organizer keeps attack their [We~~ Virginia's] style of play. ·~ _,. . ..,J ! ; "'' .. We neededto st~ : focU15ing:on what we wer¢_ .~ < -.·· ~~c ~f Y.Jhat's_due / · doing wrong ariil · start ~fdcusing ·6n what we' ·- · ·- ,·l ·, ~: .. . - - and other important needed to do to beat them,~' _commented the - ~f-~. •. .' . ' .. coach on her timeout at thls;critical moment' .- , stuff. l_ike your cute . of the match. .: ~ ' : ··..,_ .. lab partner's phone number and.Saturday'.s parties-~ The next game wasjust as close as the pre­ ,; ,, . -. ~ . -r i ~ { vious one with the Retrievers winning the last , Teiu ~h the HotSync® button to exchange and back up point on a punishillg kill by McNamara, 16- ~: ' ... ' info·with your PC leven ~ownload e-mailt you haven't 14. The match WaS jhst inother close one in _ . a season' of cfose o nes for UMBC. The final . read yet). About the 'only thing it can't do to make score read 15-7:· 6.:15; 9-'15,15-13, 16-14. your life easier is write that paper. Organizers Cline led the ·R.etriev'e'rs' attack with 25 kills, followed closdy:befiind by-McNamara with from Palm Computing start a·s low as $299*. 24. Balcer· adde'd ;62 asSists ·to 'the assault. For an authorized Palm Ill retailer or campus Asked if she '\vasmdre relieved or excited after the match;· coa~rr Lavery responded, ·"f· compute r'~ tcfr~ ; ca111 ..· a_oo ~242 ~ 9d05 ~ or . - was 'mad. Hai.ow We;·arecapable ~ Of playing visit www.palmcampus.com. the way we did inihe flrst'game all of the -' ;~;- JI ....>:.' . - : :i .. ~. :->. . time. But we · sho~2d· a frtle champion's heart in the way we fought back and won even· 1 though we '\~erirftf bn;fop bf our game.' . • . UMBCs next n1iitch1 is a( home Ori Tues·­ day against Tow~ori : .r " .- THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS .September 15, 1998 PAGE ~27

RETRIEVERS WIN SEASON-OPENING times of27:15, 27:18 and27:19. James Daly ished in the top 30. . • . BALTIMORE METRO was the other Retriever scorer, finishing ninth with a time of 27:46. GOLFERSOPENSEAsfN

Last week, the UMBC men's cross-coun- The other two Retriever competitors, Mark . ·t:~ try team easily won the Baltimore Metro McLarnon (12th, 27:59) and Conrad Haber Over the weekend, thl~UMBC men's Championship to open their season, and the (25th, 29:38). Towson's John Supsi'c took the golf team opened their s : on by finish­ women finished in a tie for first place. individual title with a time of 26:50 on the ing sixth in a 26-team fief_ at the Cornell/ The men placed four runners among the 6.2 mile course. Colgate Invitational, whi ~ : was an event top six finishers and beat second-place • .On the women's side, Rollins.led the Re­ with one day of play at dPrnell and one Towson, 26 points to 51, while the women trievers with her winning time of 18:57 on day at Colgate-' s Seven ois Golf Course. were led by Mary Beth Rollins' winning ef- the 3.1 mile course, and Doris Vargas (20:26) Led by Tim Walko, wJ. finished tied fort and tied Towson with 49 points. · and Rebecca Sauder (20:33) finished fourth for fourth with a 150 to[al (76.:.74), the Ryan Stevens finished second overall with and fifth for UMBC.· C;mie Cimino (14th, Retrievers had a total sc~ of 622 (310- a time of 27:04 to lead UMBC, and James 21:14) and Sarah Smigel(25th, 22:02) were 312). Tom Lynch, who ti~ for 13th with Osborne, Eric Benjamin and Jake Klim fin-:- the other Retriever . s~orers. a 154 (76-78), was the other top UMBC ished fourth, fifth and sixth, respectively, with Caitlin Lly~ .and .'Sarah Bowling also fin- finisher. · -.

Retriever Weekly File Photo I' R I '\ (. I I' I I '.. · , "- < > l '\ I > R I I I I< I \ \ I '\ I I '\ \ I "- I I '\ <, . Mary Beth . Rollins . won the individual title ·at' 'the Baltimore Metro Championship. . . ·. · RECENTLY, _ ... . Soccer Comes .MORNINGSTAR CALLED. · Back.to .Beat USCHEAP• . LaSalle ·· IT'S NOT EVERY DAY from SOCCER, page 23 ~ ·

not fair as well as they did _against LaSalle, YOU GET A COMPUMENT . losing 6-1. After Maryland opened with a goal at 3:41, UMBC tied the score on a beautiful goal by sophomore midfielder Ryan Cuomo, LIKE THAT. who headed the ball in the net off of the cross­ J\ ll financial companies charge operating fees [ vp.riable ann~ity1 policy,.and is c:;ven co.mpet­ ~_ai." Jinfortunately for the Retrievers, being 0 and expenses-some more than others. Of :iitive ~ith the e,heapest mut~al fu~d complexes, tied 1-1 was the closest they would get as . .fi. course, the lower the expenses you pay, the better. though it offers far more benefits."~ - College Park reeled off five straight goals in That way, more of your money goes where it · a dominating victory. Griffith stopped eight · "TIAA-CllEF sets the standard in the should -towards building a comfortable shots in net for UMBC while the Retriever futu~. financial semces-industry." offense could only muster five shots against We make low expen8es a top priority. Of course, expenses are only one factor.to the Terps goalkeeper. As the largest retirement system in the consider when you make an investme~t decision. UMBC's record now stands at 3-2 as they · world1 -a nonprofit company focused exclu­ Morningstar also noted our commitment to head into their next match at home against sively on the financial needs of the educational "consumer education, service" -and "solid George Washington on Wednesday. and research communities - our expenses are investment performance." Because that can among the lowest in the insurance and ·;nutual . make a difference in the long ri.tri, too'.· _ fund ·industries.2 At TIAA-CREF, we believe pe0ple would In fact, TIAA-CREF's 0.31% average fund like to spend more in retirement, not on their expenses are less than half of the expense charges retirement company. Today, over two million of comparable funds.3 It's why Momingstar­ people count on that approach to help them one of the nation's leading sources of annuity ~d build a comfortable and secure future. So mutual fund information - says, '~t that level · can you. To find out more, call us at [TIAA-CREF] is cheaper than any .other l 800 842-2776. We'd consider it a compliment.

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Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff Junior Kurt Meyers and.the Retrievers rallied from' a· 1-0 halftime deficit to beat LaSalle, 3-2. . ... ~- -• . -· ...... _ ••• ., - ...... _._.___ ...... ,. ~~ ... . . -. .. . __ ·~ .. .r .. ~ ...... ,. ... ~~-··~· ·· ··: ...... , ...... +

' . PAGE28 Sept.15,1998 CLASSIFIEDS

Classified Advertising I I I I Club Notices Lost & Found Office Hours I : -1-1~ I I : V I : I~ -~- --~ -~----- is a section for UMBC is a free community service Rates per 30 WORDS Monday through Friday R\'\' E E KL Y student clubs to make offered to UMBC students, $6.00 9:00 a.m. - p.m. 5:oo announcements only. faculty, and staff. (Limit 5 lines) 50¢ EACH BOLDED WORD UniHT-,ity Center 21-t Student clubs may have Does not include PERSONALS, I ()()()Hilltop Circle five lines free. Each additional line costs $1.50 LOST & FOUND, . Classified Display Baltimore. MD 21250 Personals CLUB NOTICE~, Ads may he placed in may be placed at our offices OR THRIFf SHOP sections. Advertising during regular hours. The cost is person at the above See separate rate schedules Rates Per Column Inch: Thrift Shop $1.00 for a four-line ad; for more information. address. mailed in. or additional lines are 25¢ each . .is a Retriever Weekly student Under 10 Column Inches There is a 50¢ charge raxcd in. community service which provides $10.30 for personals which are in all Deadline UMBC snidents 3 free lines . 410-455-1260 capitals or include bolded lines. All advertisments under of advertising for any textbook or Each personal must be pre-paid Classified ads are.due 5:00 p.m. $30 must be prepaid item FOR SALE under $50. and filled out Fax: 410-455-1265 Available to students currently on the Friday preceding the issue. before insertion .. enrolled at UMBC only . on a separate form.

HELP WANTED ATTN: Student Groups! Now is the t_ime . Call for information today. 1-800-932- Victorian House for Rent in Historic Union to get involved in the Ultimate Fundraiser. 0528 x65.www.ocmconcepts.com Square. *Four Bedrooms, *Wa.her and WANTED-· Earn $50 per week - we're It's Fun, Flexible, & one that offem(REAL Dryer, *Oil Heat, *Security System, looking for a female college student to RESUME EXPERIENCE. Don't miss o~t INTERNET SALES INTERNSHIPS - *$650/mo for 3 - $700/mo for 4 persons, babysit three kids from 5 to 7 pm week­ on this Opportunity. Call (800) .592- EARN $$$ $ GAIN VALUABLE BUS.1- *First Month and Security, *Close to days at our home 1O minutes drive from 2121 x725. NESS EXPERIENCE selling internet and UMBC, *Close to Bus lines. If interested campus. Must like kids,. be reliable and yellow page advertising in your please call Marilynn or Mark.@410-526- have-a car. It's a fun and easy job! Please HOME IMPROVEMENT: GIVIVNG YQ!) _ University's Campus Telephone Direc­ 5106, please leave message. call Kathleen at (202) 305-1403 during THE LEADS AND SHOWING YOlJ JHE.'. tory. Flexible Hours! . GREAT RESUME the day or (410) 566-1850 after 7pm. MONEY. Hiring sales reps., highesfpay~-- ·BOOSTER. Call College Directory Pub­ FOR SALE available,.NO EXP. N_EC. Paid training:, ~ . fishing: 800-466-2221 x288. . Work with 2-year-old autistic boy. Part for ioterview-:_Call Sam at'410-342:.4520. ]Excellent· condition: dishes, flatware, time. Ellicott City~ Psychology or ~duca­ MISCELLANEOUS crackpot, steamer, barrel chair with otto- tion Major helpful. Training Provided. Spring Break '99-Sell Trips, Earn Cash . man, lamps, single bed, walnut rocker, (410) 788-7723. & Go Free!!!· Student Travel Services is PREGNANT? Free confidential pregancy ANTIQUE upright piano; better artwork: now hiring campus reps/group organiz­ testing &caring counseling help. 1-800- framed posters, sketches, oils, acrylics. Member service for busy fitness center. ers. Lowest rates to Jamica, Mexico & 521-55,30 or 1-800-866-4666 . Call Susan 4~ 0-997.-9233. . ' Must be highly responsible, professional, Florida. Call 1:-800-648-4849 & a great communicator. Some computer WOMEN-EARN $2,300 AS AN EGG CLUB NOTICES experience helpful. Weekdays/ 3-1 O pm, MAKE EASY MONEY! GO ON SPRING DONOR-Healthy, mature, non-smoker, 6-1 O pm, + 3-6 pm. Hourly rate plus mem­ BREAK FOR FREE! USA Spring Break drug and alcohol free, age 20-29, to do­ Attention all gay, lesbian and question­ bership. Close to campus. Call Merlo at offers Cancun, Bahamas, Jamaica and nate eggs for infertility treatment. Simple·, ing students and their allies: The Free­ Western YMCA: 410-7 4 7-9622. Florida packages and is currently accept­ low risk, medical procedure for ~gg re­ dom Alliance is here. for you. Meetings ing aplications for campus sales repre­ trieval. All medical and legal expenses are Thursdays, 7-9 pm, in SS 002. Or PARENT HELPER WANTED. One mile sentatives. Call 1-888.. SPRING-BREAK. paid plus $2,300 compensation for a 2-3 call x6370. from campus; flexible hours. Live out or week, part-time, commitment. Confiden­ may exchange for room and board. Com­ · $1250 FUNDRAISER - Credit Card ·tiality at all times. Call Family "Building Chess Club meets every Friday 4-6 pm puter experience is a plus. Call 410-262- fundraiser for student organizations. Center, Inc., (410) 494-8113, ·Towson, un UC 314 for informal games, instruc­ 2201. You've seen other groups doing it, now ·Maryland. tion, and conversation. Everyone is wel­ it's your tum. One week is all it takes. come, ·from beginner to grandmaster. . JOB OPPO.RTUNITIES NO gimmicks, NO tricks, NO-obligation. FOR RENT [email protected], x8499, http:// www.umbc.edu/chess [email protected] AFTEll--SCHOOl NANNIES .IO•S IOW FOR COllEGE STUDENTS •WORK AFTER SCHOOL FROM 3~00·6:00 - '":PM •HAVE YOUR. WEEKENDS FREE - •MUST BE AT-LE.AST -· 18 YRS OLD WITH CAR

EARii $7-$8/HR. ·13-.3Y :recycled• .I.·t ·-vvc:n .:alcl :mea.:.11-. -t::l1e _,.<>~i'cl_ t::oo U-:a.e:un.· Recycling keeps_""'c:.>rl;;oing t:o pr<.>t:ect t:heir future ...,...l.en. you huy proch.u:::ts. ~'l.~acle:~ f:r .rat· -t:.~ A .2"T ....er.i..c .. a R.:..~<.-:-y..:.~J.es J::>·ay c.:..,.·•1: Novc-xn.bcr 15th . .I-;-;.r a .h·ee brochu .~·e, call 1'°8()0-<...'""::l\..l~l--Er:> .F or visit: CALL <: ... u ·r. Wt:.'"!l> i1t .1 t:<::? i:\.: t · '""vw.eJ.f.c.. .:>rg ' -410-730-2229