#The Observer an independent student newspaper serving notre dame and st. mary's Vol. XI, No. 106 Friday, April 1, 1977 Gryp appointment leads to controversy by Pat Hanifin Aside from being a Bender cam­ Editor Emeritus paign manager, Gryp has served on the Keenan Hall council and judi­ Charges and counter-charges cial board and is an alternate on the about the qualifications of newly- University Appeals Board (a group elected Student Union Director which has not met this year). Tom Gryp are being tossed around “ How can a man go from running a Student Government and Student $50 campaign to running a busi­ Union. Participants dispute most ness with a $350,000 cash flow?” of the facts of the situation and one Student Union worker asked. Gryp’s selection may be challenged However, Bender argued that before the Student Government “no one on the board questioned Board of Commissioners. his ability, just his experience.” Opponents of Gryp’s selection Bender and other Gryp supporters claim that it resulted from “ politi­ claimed that Gryp is qualified and cal maneuvering” on the part of that his ideas and attitudes out­ ...... « * + Dave Bender, the new student weighed his limited experience. - • » » Y body president and outgoing SBP The runner-up in the election, Mike Gassman. Bender and Gass- John Rooney, S.U. administrative Katherine de Jersey, below, spoke at the Jung conference at the CCE yesterday evening. Other man flatly denied the charge. “We assistant, has drawn criticism from participants ilater - 4 „ „ -discussed I : . - . - ...... A her I_____ applications______l : ______of : clinical - I ! - ! ____■ procedures■______combining I ■ • astrology. I and , each made our own decisions and Gryp supporters who claim he has psychology. (photo by Leo Hansen) voted for the man we thought was an abrasive personality. Rooney’s best,” Gassman said. “There was supporters, mostly Student Union no political bloc voting.” people, reply that any such flaw is Jung Conference Gryp was Bender’s North Quad outweighed by three-years of ex­ campaign manager. This has perience, a “task-oriented ap­ caused some people in Student proach,” and a lack of ties to the features De Jersey Union to fear that the Union would new SBP. be subordinated to Student Gov­ Appointment Board decided by Ed Marshall ernment and politicized next year. Gryp was selected by an “Ap­ pointment Board” consisting of Gryp denied that his link with A lecture and discussion conducted last night by outgoing Student Body President Bender was the cause of his Katherine de Jersey, noted astrologer and author Mike Gassman, incoming Student appointment and stated that “ Stu­ from Chicago, concluded the first day of the C.G. Body President Dave Bender, in­ dent Union should not be working Jung Conference being conducted at the Center of coming Vice-President Tom Soma, hand-in-hand with Student Govern­ Continuing Education (CCE) this week. The event Student Union Director Ken Ricci, ment, but neither should they have concluded tomorrow. a role that is totally independent.” Student Body Treasurer Eric Ryan, The second major charge against SU Comptroller Marianne Morgan; De Jersey was introduced by Alice Howie, a noted Gryp is that he lacks experience. [continued on page 12] teacher of history and a poet, as well as an occasional lecturer at Penn State University, Syracuse University, and the Carl Jung Foundation Duggan, other officials in New York City. Howie gave the large audience a brief speech on the relevance of astrology to Jungian psychology in her introduction to de Jersey.' attend Regina discussion “ Astrology is the study of processes,” she said; it Carter she had mapped. “Astrology,” she said, has the innate ability to look both outward and “ should be used to help us understand why we react week as well, he continued, then inward of a person’s psyche in all facets of the SMC cannot truly be considered a as we do, and what can we do about it.” This, she John M. Duggan, president of individual’s life. To it, Howie said, Jung added the added, was Jung’s vision of astrology. women’s college where women concept of synchronicity. Howie concluded the Saint Mary’s College, William unfettered by male presence can De Jersey stated that the astrologer’s biggest role Hickey, vice-president and dean of introduction by describing de Jersey as a person of is the evaluation of a person’s individual horoscope grow in maturity, poise, confi­ “great insight, warmth, and experience.” . Academic Affairs, and Kathleen dence, and decision-making in the for there lies possible danger as well as possible M. Rice, dean of Student Affairs, supportive climate of other women. De Jersey first stated that she considered it “a good in what information the astrologer reveals to attended an informal discussion Without that, SMC might as well great honor and privilege” to have been invited to the individual. and dinner with the residents of be a co-ed college, he concluded. the conference, and then began her presentation by De Jersey concluded the evening with a discus­ Regina Hall last night. Rice opened by stating that most quizzing the audience on its familiarization with sion with members of the audience, followed by a The discussion was centered students think of her only as the astrological tools. She continued her speech, citing small social gathering. around student affairs, with part­ dean of discipline, while Student cases she had handled and dotting the lecture with Conference Chairman Thomas Kapacinskas, as­ icular attention given to the pa- Affiars actually ranges into many interesting facts, for example, that in the interpreta­ sistant professor of theology at the University of rietals issue, and academic affairs, other areas that deal with student tion of a single individual horoscope over 1700 Notre Dame, reminded the audience at the dealing specifically with the mo­ development: career development, variables are involved. conclusion of the evening’s affairs the experimental dern language requirement. personal development, health, fi- She also employed extensive use of audio-visual workshops will also be held at the CCE through the Duggan reiterated his enthu­ [continued on page 2] aids, which included a horoscopic chart of President conference’s conclusion tomorrow. siasm for the future of SMC throughout the evening. He ad­ dressed several questions about his stance on the parietals issue, stating that students must put McKenna, Herring forward a convincing case if they want present policies changed. by Tim Lew treasurer, and Kathie Fitzpatrick ^s the new ballot boxes. In congruence with this, Duggan secretary. The ticket received 538 votes, good Rob Tully, the senior president, compli­ pointed out that SMC is committed Andy McKenna became the next junior for 53 percent of the total vote. Pat Donley of mented the workers on their conscientious to being a women’s college, and class president, and Andy Herring the next Dillon Hall ran second with 467 votes, or 46 effort all week. He also wished the new class said that he is pleased with the sophomore class president, as a result of percent of the total. officers the best of luck in all their future present co-education program. But yesterday’s elections. In the sophomore race, the Herring ticket happy hours. Tully stated that there were few if there are men in the classroom Winners with McKenna were Sue Flanigan drew 636 votes for 61 percent of the ballots. complaints during the election arid that the and men in the dorms seven days a as junior vice president, Terrv Frick as They defeated the Casey Hammond ticket, electoral process on this campus is remarkably who received 396 votes, or 38 percent. smooth. Serving the sophomores with Herring will be Ellen Dorney as vice president, Susie Meyers as secretary, and Chris Ritchie as treasurer. O’Connell submits Today is April Fool's Day!! Andy McKenna expressed his gratitude to all those who helped during the campaign. “ 1 In honor of the occasion, want to compliment Pat Donley and his ticket Daneny petition UK? for the fine job they did,” he said. “We hope by Joan Frem eau to have a happy hour some weekend after we Senior Staff Reporter the Observer get back from Easter, and right now our efforts will be directed towards setting up our In a six-page letter submitted Wednesday, Junior Advisory Council.” X) Fr. Theodore Hesburgh, University Presi- proudly presents Herring wished to thank everyone who ent, along with a petition to retain James P. helped his ticket throughout the entire Danehy as professor of Chemistry, petition: campaign, especially those who aided them in drive organizer Keith O’Connell called fo% (inj the 3rd annual Absurder. each of the halls. "I would still like to get a explanation of the situation. He also outlined questionnaire out to all the class members the reasons for the petition. before the summer break. We want to start “I believe the situation deserves an off the next year with a lot of activities right explanation in light of the man in qu^tion;” See pages 7-10. away,” he saidT O’Connell stated. “We gathered 1,859 The election was monitored by the outgoing signatures in four days, and could have gotten senior class officers in conjunction with the many more. That we acquired •itr-wi Senior Advisory Council, who guarded the Icw ttm d at page 2] the observer Friday, April 1, 1977) News Too many bullet fragments International Kennedy investigation WASHINGTON AP - House assas- March 17 briefing was accidentally Warren Commission’s conclusion Army commander fired i sinations committee investigators I released by the committee yester­ that one bullet had to go through say they are pursuing a lead that day after the House (voted to give Kennedy’s body and then travel on there may be too many bullet the panel two years to pursue its to wound Connally may no longer KINSHASA* Zaire - President Mobutu Sese Seko has fired his fragments for Lee Harvey Oswald investigations of the killings of be valid. army commander in rebel-invaded Shaba Province and for the first to have assassinated President Kennedy and civil rights leader Robert Tennenbaum, the com­ time in more than 15 years imposed censorship of news dispatches John F. Kennedy by himself. Martin Luther King, Jr. mittee’s chief investigator of the on the growing conflict in the province. The investigators also told the The investigators said the pos- kennedy assassination, told the The developments came as the government admitted the fall of a committee in a secret briefing this ibility of there being too many committee: “If the four or five key town and the rebels pressed closer to another important center month that a woman who worked in bullet fragments for Oswald alone fragments in fact were taken out in the copper belt. , a Dallas night club at the time is to have killed Kennedy is based on and if we can show - if we can willing to testify that Jack Ruby the story of a nurse. locate them - that they weigh more — National introduced Oswald to her and They identified her as the head than that portion that is missing others before the assassination as nurse at Parkland hospital in Dallas from that bullet, then the very “Lee Harvey Oswald of the CIA.” and quoted her as saying four or cornerstone and basis of the entire Ali may fight “ Rocky99 star Ruby, a Dallas night club owner, five bullet fragments - not one Warren Commission report is no killed Oswald after the Kennedy clean bullet were removed from longer valid.” CHICAGO - Heavy-weight champ Muhammad Ali says he may assassination. The Warren Com­ former Texas Gov. John Connally The Warren Commission conclu­ fight an exhibition match June 17 in Chicago with actor-writer mission concluded that Ruby had who was wounded when Kennedy ded that Oswald killed Kennedy Sylvester Stallone, whose boxing movie “ Rocky” won the Oscar for not known Oswald before the was killed. acting alone and not as part of a best picture. assassination, and until his death If that is true, they said, the conspriacy. “There’s a possibility I might get him here for a round or two,” Ruby maintained he had not pre­ Ali said Wednesday at a fund-raising cocktail party for the League viously known Oswald. to Improve the Community. Ali said he proposed the match to A 20-page section of the secret Stallone on Monday at the Academy Awards presentation. TIMM PARTY STORE OPEN: MON - SAT 9 am - 11 pm! — On Campus Today O’Connell seeks SUNDAY 12 noon - 11 pm COLD BEER, PACKAGE LIQUOR, friday, april 1. full explanation WINE, GOURMET FOODS 12:15p.m. mass, celebrated by fr. griffin, lafortune ballroom. [continued from page 1] one-third of the undergraduates’ 3114 S. 11 ST. NILES, MICHIGAN signatures in such a short time 12:15 pm travelogue, "fiji in the south pacific" by john proves their support for Danehy. 1 Block North of state line on U.S. 31 ackerman, sponsored by bio. dept, biology aud., Such support can’t be ignored,” he galvin. said. The letter, which appears in part 3:30 pm I lecture, "anachronism and authority" by richard in today’s Observer, explains that degeorge, u. of kansas, sponsored by philo. dept., attitudes are changing toward older library lounge. people and that demographic trends show the older generation to 5:15 pm mass and dinner, bulla shed. be increasing in numbers. O’Connell also points out in the PRODUCT 7 pm bible study, campus crusade for Christ, "how can we letter that the action of retiring know the ressurrection is a fact," library lounge. Danehy is contrary to “what Notre Dame stands for and what Fr. 7 & 9 pm film, "sherlock holmes smarter brother," sponsored Hesburgh has said himself.” by student union, eng. aud. $1. ENGINEER He said that he hopes the letter will command some response. 8 pm ' workshop, "dido and aeneas" by henry purcell. Copies were sent to The South o'laughlin aud. Bend Tribune, Notre Dame Maga­ zine and the Board of Trustees. CHALLENGE 8 pm theater, reader's theater presentation "what's to be “ Fr. Hesburgh could take this done after the sexual revolution?" Washington hall, case out of court tomorrow if he free ad. wanted to,” O’Connell said. “ We hope the petition will have some RESPONSIBILITY sat. april 2. kind of effect in (Hesburgh’s) making this decision.” 10 am simulation, international relations gaming, sponsor­ Danehy will turn 65 years of age ed by gov. dept. eng. aud. this month. O’Connell reported OPPORTUNITY! that although Danehy was asked to 10 am beginning sailing class, boathouse. teach his popular summer course As a national manufacturer of fabricated metal again this year, he has since been 12 pm bike club ride, meet at fountain south of lafortune. notified that he cannot teach this products, a vital supplier to the power and util­ summer. ity industries, we have the environment and 12:30 pm - collegiate jazz festival, stepan center. ‘‘That’s harrassm ent, ’ ’ corporate stability that translate into challenge, 7:30 pm O’Connell commented, and then responsibility and opportunity for the ambi­ expressed his hope that the case 7, 9, 11 pm film, "sherlock holmes smarter brother," eng. aud. would be settled by the end of tious Product Engineer. Complete follow- $1. April. through responsibility for product design/ 8 pm workshop, "dido and aeneas" by henry purcell, development will be yours, involving engineer­ o'laughlin aud. %The Observer ing expertise in both wide-ranging and highly 8 pm theater, "w hat's to be done after the sexual specialized areas. Analyzing failures and revolution," wash. hall. THEME: PORKER CITY supervising testing to improve existing and Night Editor: John Coldcuts Sunday, april 3. Asst. Night Editors: Rose­ develop new products, you’ll coordinate all mary Meatloaf, Debbie Donut necessary input from various sources such as 4, 7, film, sponsored by collegiate seminar, eng. aud. Layout Staff: Eileen Lynch- manufacturing, sales and customers. Some 10 pm Honorary Heifer, Tracy Mc- travel is required for product demonstra­ 8 pm film, "breathless" by jean-lue godard, foreign film 1 Auliffe-Honorary Heifer series, carroll hall. Editorial Layout: Filet-o-F.ish tions and presentations. Features Layout: Leo Ham 8 pm theater, "camille and perdican," directed by bridget salad A BSME is needed as are strong technical regan, wash. hall. Sports Layout: Tony Pastromi capabilities and communication/interper­ Typists: Stephanie Brillo pad recital, grad, student recital by denise taliaferro, (clean up squad), Gwen Cole­ sonal skills. In return, we offer an excellent 8:15 pm sponsored by music dept., library aud. slaw, Sue Burger Chef salary, liberal fringe benefits and support E .M .T .'s: Leigh Tuna Fish, for your career objectives. To arrange a con­ Karen Chives Day Editor: Jack Salami fidential interview, send your resume to: St. Mary’s students; Copy Reader: Ann Grapefruit, Bob Beefaroni Ad Layout: Tom Waldorf Victor Lising participate in discussion salad Division Manager Photographer: Leo Ham salad [continued from page 1] | language requirements was a pop­ of Industrial Relations t lid and spiritual develop­ ular concern among members of (Leftover) ment. She explained that next year the audience. Hickey also discuss-, there will be two new posts under ed the liberal arts education in The Observer is published Monday her: Director of Activities and relation to the Professional Pro­ through Friday and weekly during Director of Recreation/ Athletics, gram. During the dinner he the summer session, except during who will work with students to | discussed the Humanistics pro­ the exam and vacation periods The A develop a creative approach to gram with attending seniors. Observer is published by students of MFG. and SUPPLY CO. student social life and activities. I Leslie Wilson, who co-ordinated the University of Notre Dame and Two of the projects that her St Mary's College Subscriptions HARDWARE DIVISION the evening, commented, “For an| may be purchased for $20 per year department is working on for next innovative event in residence hall ($10 per semester) from The Obser­ semester are a SMC Senior Bar and programming, I feel that it was ver, Box Q, Notre Dame, Indiana 3700 S. Morgan St./Chicago, Illinois 60609 a Yellow Pages booklet listing the most successful. The turnout was 46556 Second class postage paid, a’ ailable services at SMC. very good, and I hope that it is an Notre Dame, Indiana 46556 Hickey fielded questions on a indication of the interest and The Observer is a member of the An Equal Opportunity Employer m/f Associated Press All reproduction variety of academic related sub-1 enthusiasm of students in Regina rights are reserved jerts. The question of the modern Hall and at SMC in general.” Friday, April 1, 1977 the observer A and L plight Waiting for an Interview by Kathy Mills of trying to get a job. day, students can sign up for as Executive Editor “It all depends on the arrange­ many additional interviews as they ment the employer makes,” ex wish. The alarm goes off, jarring me plained Richard D. Willemin, dir­ The assistant explained that out of my peaceful sleep, the bunk ector of the Placement Bureau. when a list fills up, a waiting list is bed shakes a bit as my roommate “For example, all the public ac­ put up. Sometimes, companies will gets up to turn off the rude noise. I counting firms have promised to put in an extra recruiter if this hear her groan as I open my eyes. send as many recruiters as the happens. The Bureau will give the The only source of light in the room number of students warrants.” interviewer a copy of a student’s is the flourescent bulb in our Pepsi Smaller firms send only a couple of profile filed with the Bureau even if wall clock. Squinting at it, I recruiters, he continued. As a the student is unable to get an discover it is only 4:30 - I presume result, the students who want interview with the company. it’s 4:30 a.m. My roommate is interviews with these companies Most of the sign-ups are with getting dressed and the person who and with the more popular compa­ companies seeking students with lives next door to us knocks on our nies must wait in line. degrees in business administra­ door to see if she is ready. They tion. For this semester, through leave a few minutes later and I Observer the week of March 11, 116 compa­ settle deeper into the warmth of my nies interviewed business stu­ bed to go back to sleep. Insight % dents while 29 interviewed for No, they’re not going to stand in science students, 47 for students in line for concert tickets at the ACC. One assistant in the office noted that some students “get up at the arts and letters, and 83 for engi­ It’s Monday and they’re going to neering students. stand in line under the Dome so crack of dawn” and bring pillows they can get interviews with Hall­ and blankets so they can sleep on “ Arts and letters people have a mark Cards for the following week the floor of the Administration difficult time and will always have of the Placement Bureau. Building. When the Placement one because not many companies Bureau opens at 8 a.m., these look for arts and letters students,” “ Did you get it?” I ask her later students may sign up for interviews Willemin stated. He added that on in the day. Yes, she informs with two companies, after Mon- [continued on page 13] me, but Bridget (our next-door neighbor) didn’t. “She gave up her place to me because she knew r SMC Coffeehouse presents: FRIDAY how much I wanted it,” she explains. 9:00-11:00 The story may sound sad, but it is true. Seniors who want a chance to get a personal interview with Steve Bewers Mike lewis companies which send a limited number of interviewers to the & Balky Cerrelly Buds appeared on many of the trees on Campus this past Placement Bureau are involved in week. Hopefully more warm weather will bring a warm spring. rigorous competition. And this contempoRaRy Rock...... fphoto by Leo Hansen)______competition is all part of the game In Farley Hall 11:00-12:30 Marian Hoke and Pam Butterworth

“Women’s Night” held folk QUItAR.... by Jake Morrissey said. “Who says ypu have to have a Staff Reporter Moira Geoffrion, assistant pro­ life of your own, to be happy?” she Also coroplimentARy potAtoe chips & dip. fessor of art, said that doing what asked. “Who says you have to do Women in marriage, in careers, pleases yourself is vital to a happy something intellectual just because Special: Hoagie bar-make your own!!!! and at Notre Dame were some of life. “ It is important to do what you you can? There are people living the topics discussed at “ Women’s like to do,” Geoffrion said. “ Being happy lives in ways you’d never Night,” held last night in Farley a teacher is extremely exciting; it’s dream of envying.” basement. working out so far very well.” Assistant professor Carole The evening, according to Mel­ Geoffrion was also quick to em­ Moore of the History department anie Jorgenson, Farley speakers phasize that flexibility and a sense emphasized the fact that women commissioner, is the response to of humor were very important to those female students who have women whowant both a career and come to Jorgenson expressing con­ a family. cern over future plans. Elizabeth Christman of the Am­ AN TOSTAL IRISH WAKE COMMITTEE presents: The meeting, attended by ap­ erican Studies department, declar­ proximately 50 professors and stu­ ed that she was a “happy woman.” dents, brought many interesting She commented that she felt that points out into the open, Jorgensen stereotypes should be cast aside. WICKED WEDNESDAY Happy hour opening of A HAPPY HOUR by Judy Meehan A free Irish Wake dance ticket A coupon good for all the beer APRIL 20 In an attempt to “do something you can drink and half price mixed different” and “add some flavor­ drinks at Fat Wally’s on Wicked $3.00 Ticket & coupon book ($9.00 value) includes: ing” to the traditional An Tostal W ednesday form 2-5 pm weekend activities. Bob Smith and A 2 for 1 mixed drink coupon Mick Mancuso, chairman and co- good twice during An Tostal week­ chairman of the Irish Wake com­ end at Fat Wally’s 2-5pm - FAT WALLY’S a il the Free Beer mittee, have planned a "Wicked A coupon good for one dollar off Wednesday ” Happy Hour to be a pitcher of beer, also good twice at you can drink & 1 2 price mixed drinks, held at Fat Wally’s and Bridget Fat Wally’s McGuire’s on Wednesday, April A coupon good for 2 for 1 beer PLUS COUPONS GOOD 2 for 1 mixed drinks 20. and drinks at Bridget McGuire’s on TWICE April 20-23 $1 off pitcher of Beer In conjunction with the Happy Wednesday from 6-9 pm Hour will be the Irish Wake Dance A first free beer coupon good at to be held that Saturday in Stepan Bridget’s on Wednesday coupons Center. The committee’s new in­ for discounts on food at Barnaby's 6-9pm - BRIDGET McGUIRES novation this year is the sale of a also. coupon booklet good during An These coupon booklets will be on and mixed drinks Tostal weekend (April 20-23) and sale only Monday, April 11 through free helicopter rides to every Friday April 15. They may be PLUS COUPON GOOD one free beer twentieth coupon holder. purchased in the North and South April 20 6-9 p.m . Smith said the interesting fea­ dining halls at dinner, LeMans ture of the Irish Wake committee’s Lobby from 12-4 pm, SMC dining plans will be the “Campus Tour hall from 4:30 to 6 pm and the from the Air. ” With a take-off from Student Union ticket office from Plus BARNABY’S pizza discount coupons the fiejd next to Stepan Center and 12-4 pm. Tickets for the Irish Wake a landing in the field near the dance only will be sold at the door Faculty Club, a student who owns a for $2. Plus FREE IRISH WAKE TICKET twentieth booklet will be given a The Irish Wake Dance, which view of the campus from a helicop­ will be held Saturday evening in ter. The tentative date for this the Stepan Center, is featuring a Plus Free Campus Tour ( by helicopter ) event is Wicked Wednesday. group called “ Choice” from Chica­ Enthusiasm towards the sale of go who have performed at recent for every 20th ticket the coupon booklet, Smith encour­ formals. Smith said a “classy” atmo­ ages students to “buy booklets DINING HALLS - Student Union Ticket Office early because there is a limited sphere for the dance will be provide ON SALE NOW!!! amount to be sold.” The coupon through greenery and mirror-like booklets will be sold for $3 and decor. Both couples and singles SMC Cafeteria - LeMans Lobby include the following: are encouraged to come. f WThe Observer open letter (extracts) =*-*---- an independent student newspaper EDITORIAL BOARD serving noire dame and si. mary's Marti Hogan Editor-in-Chief 'Father, why...?' Martha Panning Managing Editor The O bserver is published by students of the University t Hob Brink Asst Managing Ed of Notre Dame and St Mary's College It does not Kathy Mills Executive Editor necessarily reflect the policies of either institution The Maureen F lynn Editorial Editor := ^ = keith o'connell news is re|x>rled as accurately and as objectively as Barb Breitenstein Exec News Editor |M)ssible I dilorials represent the opinion of a majority of T om Byrne Campus Editor the I ditorial Hoard. Commentaries, opinions and letters lean F’bwley St. Mary's Editor Dear Father Hesburgh: people?... are the views of their authors Column space is available Katie Kerwin News Editor Newsweek offers two alterna­ to all members of the community, and letters are Haul Stevenson Sports Editor Frankly, Father, we are a bit tives. One alternative is to have encouraged to promote the free expression of varying Pat Cole Special Projects Ed. confused; and possibly, disillusion­ young working Americans give up opinions on < ampus David O'Keefe Features Editor ed. “an even higher percentage of We are confused about the their paycheck” to the system... Box Q Business Manager Sue Quigley forced retirement of one whom we “Perhaps more likely, the sys­ Advertising Manager Steve Bonomo Notre Dame Copy Editor Barb Langhenry consider to be a great man, Dr. tem itself could be changed to allow the elderly to prolong their working Production Manager Karen Chiames In d .46556 Photo Editor Paul Clevenge James P. Danehy. And we are - I disillusioned, possibly, about what lives and thus share the pension Notre Dame, and we as students of cost.” This is the second alterna­ Friday, April 1, 1977 this University, represent. tive, by far the most practical... V ______At best, Father, the situation is “Already a number of major firms vague, and at worst it can only be have modified their retirement commentary described as highly discriminatory policies to allow workers to stay on or arbitrary. the job past their 65th birthdays if This situation deserves an ex­ they wish... And Florida Repre­ planation. Why is Dr. Danehy sentative Claude Pepper, Chair­ Take Another Look being asked to leave? man of a house Subcommittee on Accompanying this letter are Aging, has introduced legislation petitions which were circulated that would overturn the govern­ around campus for a four-day ment’s policy of forcing Federal maureen flynn, marti hoganperiod. The petition, signed by workers to retire at 70. ... The current controversy sur­ votes) to win, Student Government Keenan Hall judicial board. His almost a third of the undergraduate Right now Congress is debating rounding the appointment of Tom still scents to hold the better hand. credentials may be impessive when population, states in effect that we Bill H R. 65 (presented by Findley, Gryp as Student Union director Although the present system fully revealed, but at this point they believe Dr. Jam es P. Danehy "is Rep.-Illinois) barring any age limit raises a number of questions about allows for a greater Student Union are still obscured. more than qualified to continue his totally. the selection process and. ulti­ voice in the choice of director, it Of all the people who are puzzled duties as a professor at this Most important, Father Hes­ mately. about the relationship be­ has the disadvantage of allowing or upset by Gryp’s appointment, University,” and that his loss burgh, Dr. Danehy is a human tween Student Government and the election of someone who cannot the most important are the Student "would be a great loss to the being, with an inherent human Student Union. work well with the SBP. This past Union staff members with whom he academic community.” ... dignity to be respected by others; The past few years have witness­ year, the effectiveness of both will have to work. They don’t trust Father, Dr. Danehy is a compe­ as a human being, he wants to do ed a constant power struggle Student Union and Student Gov­ the selection process. There have tent man, very respected for his something meaningful. between the student body presi­ ernment was hampered by the been charges of politicking and academic credentials and his con­ Father, it is you who have helped dent on the one hand and the antipathy between SBP Mike Gass­ maneuvering that would be deplor­ cern for Notre Dame. Students to show us that all men and women Student Union director on the man and SU director Ken Ricci. able in the selection of a person to consider Dr. Danehy to be a great are children of God, and should be equal and should have equal access other. According to du Lac. In the present case, newly-elect­ fill a basically non-political posi­ asset. We ask that he be treated Student Union is “ an independent, ed president Dave Bender and tion. What is to be done? fairly, and that his situation be to those basic human and spiritual non-profit branch of Student Go­ Gryp have already worked closely individually evaluated... endeavors by which we can seek to vernm ent..." But no matter How together on Bender's election cam­ The time has come for a more First of all, suppressing the be happy; the right...to have our big and extensive the branch, it has paign. (This has resulted in autonomous Student Union. The rights of the old in defense of the inherent dignity respected by ot­ to join up with the main trunk at charges of patronage that are director should be chosen by a rights of the young is simply asking hers; the right to equal treat­ some point. Is this really indepen­ almost impossible to substantiate predominantly Student Union that one sector should be given ment under the administration of dence? Let's look at this more and that we will not go into here.) board and approved by the Stu­ some advantage at the expense of justice, to peace and security, and closely. A cooperative relationship between dent Body President or by a board another sector. This is clearly the realization of our full potential. Up until last year, the director of the two student leaders is to the of which he is a member. The discriminatory. Is this how we solve It is you, Father, who have Student Union was appointed by advantage of the entire student model for this system has already the problem?...In reality, this is helped to teach us that “when one the SBP and approved by the organization, but each has a separ­ been working for several years: the only recreating the very same dis­ American suffer injustice, each of Student Government Board of ate responsibility to his own Ombudsman Service. The Director abilities under which various other us and our great nation are Commissioners. The advantage to branch. of the Ombudsman is chosen each minority groups have suffered un­ diminished and wasted, yes, even this system was that it generally The Student Union director is year by the Ombudsman Steering justly. Blacks and other ethnic threatened...that freedom and jus­ insured a good working relation­ responsible for four different com­ Committee. Candidates from both groups’ rights have suppressed so tice are not dead ashes to be ship between the two student missions and over $330,000. He has outside and inside the organization that they would not be able to reviewed, but a living flame to be leaders. But the appointment well over one hundred people are considered. The Steering compete with white for jobs. Most fed by our continual dedication and process clearly indicated that the within his own organization with Committee's choice requires the recently, women's rights have been effort...that freedom and justice Student Union director, and there­ whom he must work. Many of these, approval of the SBP. suppressed similarly, so that they must be regained, reestablished, fore the Student Union, was subor­ people - those who have no say in This system vastly improves the could not take jobs away from men and rewon each day. We are a dinate to the SBP and Student the selection process - are asking. chance of someone being chosen who had to support families. Now, people who have already done what Government. “ Who is Tom Gryp?" who can command respect and the the aging are the sector being was never done before: to declare Last year the system was chang­ Who is Tom Gryp, indeed? No allegiance of the Student Union discriminated against unjustly. equality of opportunity and to make ed so that the SU director was one outside of the Student Union staff and still be able to work Secondly, Father, people who it work for everyone.” elected by an Appointment Board Appointment Board can say what together with Student Government contend that if older people are Such things as these we stand for comprised of four Student Govern­ Gryp has to offer Student Union for the mutual benefit of both allowed to work past retirement Father. ment officials, three Student Union that the other candidates lacked. organizations. age then there will be no jobs for The Christian officials, and two "swing" votes: Let us hope that it is better ideas, For now, the decision rests with the young overlook two things: university in America should be the the Hall Presidents Council Chair­ more enthusiasm, superior organi-" the Board of Commissioners. It is first, they overlook the fact that place where enlightened con­ man and the Vice-President of rational abilities. We don't know obvious that the Appointment many older people retire before the science fearlessly confronts all the Student Activities. The appoint­ and the Board itself was badly split Board's choice has been an unpop­ age of 65; that many more would be frightening manifestations of raw ment must be approved by a Board over Gryp's qualifications. ular, or at least a questionnable one retiring soon after; and that people I power of all kinds in our -times.” of Commissioners comprised of the What we do know is that Gryp for many inside and outside of the die. All of these cailse places in the (Rev. Theodore Hesburgh, Intro. SBP. SBVP. Student Government has no previous experience in Student Union and Student Gov­ job market to be vacated, which 76-77 Fac. Man.) treasurer. HPC chairman and three Student Union. The only proofs we ernment organizations. Approval must be filled. Secondly, those Such things as these we believe student SLC reps. Since any have of his other abilities are a of that decision should not be people overlook the demographic in, Father. candidate for the position must Keenan Hall bus trip to Bendix granted without a great deal of changes our country is undergoing “The world may or may not have a two-thirds majority (six Woods and two years on the thought and investigation. right now. This country of the 1 follow, but we must lead because young is getting older, as reported our tradition says we must; liberty opmiom in a special Newsweek magazine is worth the effort, and the creation cover story February 28, 1977... of justice and peace abroad will in Gripe Against Gryp Newsweek reports, “the median large masure depend on the mea­ age is moving up; eventually, the sure of justice and peace that we number over 65 will double. ”... create here at home.” ===——= charles moron "By the turn of the century, nearly Then let us lead. let the record show that oil financially, due to a lack of fore- i about. He doesn't know or under­ 31 million people will be 65 or Keith B. O’Connell, on behalf of March 30. P1™- the Student Union sight on the part of the present stand the people he must w ork w ith older."... How will the nation bear Students Concerned for Danehy Board of Directors appointed Tom administration of Student Union. or the problems which they en­ the cost of supporting so many old and Notre Dame Gryp to become the new Student Due to excessive spending during counter. A knowledge of the people Union Director. Thereis. however, the first semester by several and their problems can only be more qualified people, who were eminent constitution which, reads one catch to the simplicity of the groups in Union, many valuable learned through the experience of also candidates. Their only mistake that the new director must be above statement font Cryp has campus activities, such as the having worked in Student Union or was in not-campaigning for the approved by the Board of Commis­ absolutely no background in any­ Na/z. Darby's Place and the Quick­ Student Government for a vear. Bender-Soma ticket in the last sioners. 1 propose that the Board of election. Commissioners reject the appoint- thing having to do with Student ie are in danger of extinction due to font Gryp has so far made The list of other candidates is J ment of Tom Gryp.. He is not Union. He has no experience what­ , insufficient funds. This is just one virtually no attempt to learn what is quite impressive. There was J. P. qualified to hold the job. Should a soever « it It running anything on of the monumental problems that going on in Student Union. Of all the Notre Dame Campus. Oh. let will face the incoming director. 1 he Russell, the HPC chairman and ’ person who has never run anything the candidates for the office of head of the Student Union Book I other than a S50 campaign, be put me amend that statement. He did comptroller's office, which was set Director he is the only one w ho did Exchange. There was John Roon­ in charge of an organization whose help organize one thing in his up two years ago to serve as a not approach any commissioner in career at Du I ac. He was the North check on the spending of all ey. Student Union Administrative cash flow is more than $300,000? Union for information about his Assistant and former Assistant The Board of Commissioners Quad campaign manager for the student union monies, has been commission and the problems newly elected ticket of Bender- turned into a system of mere book Social Commissioner. There was should then look over the other which exist. His only contact has Rick Dulanty, Assistant Social candidates and pick someone who Sonu. In reward for this valuable i keepers and not watchdogs. The been with one member of the work, he has been given one of the forthcoming audit will highlight Commissioner and head of the can step into the job and begin present SU administration that has Quickie. solving the problems immediately. most powerful jobs in all of Student many of the problems within the allowed all of the problems to exist The credentials of the above people Not someone who must waste the Government. Mayor Daley would 1 comptroller's office. in the first place. have been proud of this effective There is no way that Tom Gryp are extremely impressive to say the first few weeks just finding the use of the political patronage will be able to do any thing about Bender and Soma have flexed least. Tom Gryp's credentials are men's room. system. these problems before valuable their political muscle (a muscle on abysmal to say the most. Student Union is in trouble. All months are lost. He will have to loan from the Gassman collection) What do 1 propose would [Charlie Moran is in charge of of the commissions are just barely spend his first few months in office and railroaded Gryp into the job. happen? Well, there is a little Special Projects for Student going to squeak through this year just learning what Student Union is while passing up several infinitely known clause in the Student Gov- Union, j ,f'BbhS OC A ,s tuqtnro un oivr.V .'vi .w u y i bee fyq-rtmlv* v.'iV oiwvH ■ v-.rcsvi nod; Hit v .lams ctti Bo icvilvB ext,’ t.m ’i.w v e s W .x v At.- n«n* ' Friday, April 1, 1977 the observer 5 The Long Silence Featur Letters to a Lonely God Reverend Robert Griffin

I remember when I was a child, Sunny carry me away to the unfamiliar place watching the funeral cars move through settled my night nerves by reciting the Lydon’s Uncle Danny died, and all of us called a cemetery. But I did not yeat dread the rain, vowing that I would give up Twenty-third Psalm. I knew that Easter neighborhood kids were taken into the death from the mourner’s point of view, as sweets, candy, and sticky things with sugar was the reason things would turn out well Lydon house, where the wake was held, •die long silence that empties life of the in them, so I wouldn't die as a piggy kid for Uncle Danny and Betty Lee: Sunny and allowed to see the body. On the day of laughter of a friend as suddenly as a suffering fromfatty deposits around the Lydon’s mother told me so in an opinion I burial, 1 remember watching the gleaming noonday darkness empties a room of heart. I never mourned for Betty Lee, considered narrowly Roman Catholic. hearse and the funeral limousines leaving sunlight. “O Grave, where is the victory? because I considered her to be too spoiled Betty Lee’s mother said she preferred the house on the way to the church, and O Death, where is thy sting?” If I had to be likeable; but I was heart-broken for Easter to Christmas, in an opinion 1 afterwards to the cemetery. The Lydons heard the words, I would have understood her mother, who always cried when she considered close to madness. The comfort were Catholic, and Uncle Danny, a them to mean Sunny Lydon’s uncle was not saw me out of grief for her lost girl. So I 1 found myself that kept me from becoming bachelor, was Mrs. Lydon’s brother. He gone forever; and that some Saturday, he grew up listening to my heartbeat, worried a morbid child-the comfort that kept me lived with Sunny’s family; and I knew him would be back for the matinee comedy it would stop on a whim; fretting for the from frightening myself to death-was the mostly from the Saturday afternoons when flicks at the Cameo Theatre, thanks to the sorrow of my family who would have to Twenty-third Psalm: “ Yea though I walk he used to drive us to the movies. His help of the Easter Jesus. send potted lilies to the church at Easter, if through the valley of the shadow of death, wake was my first remembered experience Even more fearful for me than the I died young. But I couldn’t tell my parents I will fear no evil, for thou art with me..." of death. It was strange because of my Catholic carelessness in losing uncles was that because Betty Lee was mortal, I knew I Adults need Easter as the earth needs sense of a friend gone away, and it was the death of a neighborhood child named was mortal and might soon need a hearse. April when birds and flowers and the green strange because it was Catholic. Betty Lee, when I was in the third grade. I figured that they knew I was of meadows are given back again. As a When I was a child saying goodbye to Betty, you see, was a chubby child; and I mortal, and delicate in the heart, and child, i wanted to survive forever. As an Uncle Danny, I think I thought that death was a chubby child. Betty was also born might go anytime, but they were keeping it adult, I still am in no hurry to move down the avenue in the gleaming hearse; but in meant he was going away only for a little with a congenital heart ailment; heart- secret. I remember once, when I was sick my seasoned years, I also understand the while. I knew he wouldn’t be driving us to wise, I was healthy as a horse, though the with tonsillitis, and the doctor came, I lay in bed listening to their voices in another sweetness of April. Easter is the April of movies anymore; but I wasn’t prepared for health of my tonsils wasn’t much go brag about. Stupid adults, as an encouragement room, thinking they were planning my our hearts, coming after a long, hard the long, uninterrupted silence from his funeral. winter. We cannot guess at the beauty that side of the grave. Danny was a quiet man; to me to conquer chubbiness, would say: Years afterwards, my mother told me awaits us, or the ways the silences are but it has been over forty years now since “ Remember what happened to Betty Lee.” that as a child, I was considered to have broken, in the eternal April of God’s year. he was last heard from;as a child,hearing Other kids had nightmares about King had a remarkably strong heart (1 still do, I It is not just my immortality that is talk of resurrection, 1 thought Jesus had Kong and the caprices of the Tooth Fairy think.) But when you are seven, and stupid celebrated; but every man’s immortality, made earlier arrangements for his return turned vicious. My nights were terrorized by the thoughless example of Betty Lee. adults are saying: “Hey there, fat little and God immortal with us. than that. I didn’t know 1 would never kid, remember what happened to Betty Of all mortality made immortal, spring­ catch up with Danny again until after I had hustling precociously off ot God, heavier Lee,” you get nervous. 1 would like to say time is the promise that nothing is ever lived all the rest of my life. I feared the and more obese than any child has a right that Easter was the feast day when I made lost-nothing at all, including uncles; gleaming hearse and the funeral lim­ to be. I remember, on the day of her burial pressing my face against the window glass, my peace with death; but to tell the truth, I especially uncles—and the heartbeat of a ousines; I was afraid they might come to child.

Dreaded Sundown, a dreadful waste ot our at 4, 7 and 10 p.m. Sunday in the time and no one’s talent that views a mass Engineering Auditorium. Free. Q o n the Screen ~ j m urder in Texarkana in 1946 as nothing Theater: ‘“Camille and Perdican,” direct­ but a curious artifact. (*) ed by Bridget Regan of the ND/SMC Scottsdale: Airport 77, a tribute to Theater, will be presented at Boiler —' Sunday night whoever in Hollywood feels a compulsion 8:00 in Washington Hall. House 1: Silver Streak, railborne adven- to release the annual Airport film. FUm: Jean Luc-Godard’s Breathless, at ture-comedy with Gene Wilder, Jill Clay- State: The Domino Principle, another 8:00 p.m. Sunday in Carroll Hall at SMC. burgh, and Richard Pryor, who saves the paranoid intelligence-community-machina- $ 1. thing regrettably Lte. (**1/2) tions‘•v u o entryVUVA j •starring n u l l i n g VGene J V U V Hackman.* iu v.i\uiuil. Boiler House 2: Freaky Friday,an off-beat Disney comedy in which mother (Barbara Harris) and daughter (Jodie Foster) ex­ change bodies for a day. Q On Campus ~ j (_ the Tube J Forum 1: Wizards, a well-intentioned distraction in animation from Ralph Bakshi Movie: Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Bro­Rm. The American Short Sterv:Story: PBS is (Fritz the Cat], it is a film that subverts the ther, a somewhat uneven effort by Mel bringing several classics to television, impact of a thoughtful story and some Brooks’ graduates (Gene Wilder, Madeline beginning with tonight’s twin debut of .. strong images with rapid comic conven­ Kahn, Marty Feldman, and Dom Deluise) F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “ Bernice Bobs Her tions. (**1/2) about the adventures of the famed sleuth’s Hair starring Shelly Duvall and Sherwood Forum 2: Raggedy Ann and Andy, an relatively unknown sibling. (Friday and Anderson’s “I’m a Fool” featuring Ron “Venus with a mirror", demon­ animated rendering of the dolls from Saturday, 7, 9 and 11 pm, Engineering Howard and Amy Irving. (Tuesday strates the use of a classical Director Richard Williams. Also stars the Auditorium, $1) 8:00PM, 34) theme by a medieval artist to Camel with the Wrinkled Knees, Babette Something for Joey: The storyof recent Theater: ND/SMC Theater Second Scene portray a lesson in figure draw­ and the Gazooks, and King Koo Koo and Heisman Trophy winner John Cappeletti presents “What’s to be done after the ing. This photographic repro­ the Loonie Knight. and his fattaily ill brother could easily secual revolution?” Friday and Saturday duction of an original piece in the Town & Country 1: Black Sunday, a become a melodramatic bore, but big- at 8:00 p.m. in Washington Hall. Ambrosiana library in Milan, is modern terrorist yarn that begins the week business sponsors (IBM in this case) have a part of an exhibit at the Art in Beirut and ends on Super Bowl Sunday. Film: The Collegiate Seminar Program will tendancy to class things up.(Wednesday, Gallery on display until the end of Town & Country 2: The Town that sponsor Ingmar Bergman’s Winter Light 9:00 PM , 22) May. Jazz Festival : Wild Weekend At Stepan Center Jjm Smalley

A wild weekend of music begins Friday in their styles. Citizen’s Band, which hails musicianship and enthusiasm. Expect the John Alfieri are prize winning artists from night with Notre Dame’s own Big Band, from the University of Iowa, is apparently same performance from this bunch again the awesome Fredonia bands of 1975 and led by Father George Wiskirchen, who has on the leading edge of the avante garde in this year. 1976. Bill Kennedy on tenor sax, Bob been with the Festival longer than anyone jazz. Following their motto of “usually When the charge from MIT begins to Sheppard on alto sax, and John Oddo, can remember. Some of us weren’t born expect the unusual from U. of I.” , C.B. wear down, Bill Boris of the ND combo will pianist, are fine musicians in the graduate yet when Father George first brought his describes itself as a “ collective of individ­ clamber back on the stage, this time with program at Eastman. If allowed to Melodons to N.D. One of the finest jazz ual musicians in a free, self-limiting big Greg Shearer. Their Guitar Duet is a compete with the other bands, Eastman educators in the nation, he has prepared band, without limits on enrollment, an precise, complicated and fascinating thing would collect most of the prizes. Having another talented band'for CJF, featuring with an emphasis on experimentation” . to hear. At last year’s Festival, Boris, them here at the Festival will be a great Neil Gillespie on piano, Steve Calonje on They will perform their “Symphony for playing with Kevin Chandler, won an experience for, the Stepan audience. drums, and Nick Tallerico compositions. Clean Air” at the afternoon session. award for outstanding guitarist, and un­ Offering something for those who like The Jeff Pellaton Combo also appears at doubtedly the new Duet will be as The Award Winner’s Jam ends the the unusual, Texas Southern Jazz Ensem­ this session, bringing back a few memories impressive. evening; another highlight in an outstand­ ble shortly follows Notre Dame. TSU will with their emphasis on old Be Bop tunes. The Medium Rare Big Band finishes the ing evening of jazz. Besides the bands feature a very big band with ten(!) This is the combo’fs first appearance at Saturday night set, coming from the New mentioned, others from Ohio State, North­ saxophones, which should provide a pow­ CJF. Memphis State University brings England Conservatory of Music, one of the western, NOrthern Iowa, Wisconsin Con­ erful yet polished sound. fine Southern Jazz to CJF Sat. Afternoon, most prestigeous music schools in the servatory, Eastern Illinois and more, who Fredonia University returns to CJF with led by their accomplished director, Thomas country. In their audition, Medium Rare were selected from a great many applicants two bands. Friday night the Jazz Combo, Ferguson. showed the greatest depth in musical for their superior talent, will perform. In led by Emil Palame, a former award winner Saturday night the Notre dame Combo styles of any band at the Festival, they all, there will be at least ten solid hours of I at CJF for his compositions, and Gary with Neil Gillespie, Bill Boris, Cedric presented four tunes in four different music, enough to fill anyone’s appetite for Keller on sax, will present more of their Williams, and Steve Calonje makes an styles, Be-Bop,Latin Jazz, Jazz Rock, and a excellent jazz. It has been said that if CJF own works as well as classic modern jazz appearance. The combo has played at the Duke Ellington style piece, and performed were help at another university, there tunes. The Big Band, which appears on Nazz and Vegetable Buddies several times them all with amazing skill. Medium Rare would be wars fought over the tickets. It is Saturday night, is also a former award this year, and have built up a large Notre is led by Pat Hollenbaeck and features undoubtly a superior festival with a strong winner. The band has done extensive Dame following. Following ND will be the Akira Tana on drums. national reputation. Come to the Festival recording, and has recently released an MIT Festival Big Band, which will disprove While the judges wrangle over the and try the sound if you are new to jazz# album entitled Thursday Night at the again for the Stepan Center audience the distribution of awards, the CJF guest band and have a good time in a relaxed, hip, Fountain Grill, which features all student notion held by some that scientists and from Eastman School of Music, “ Gazelle” atmosphere. There is a whole world qf jazz compositions. engineers have computers for brains. will perform. “Gazelle” stands out from open to you this weekend. Saturday afternoon CJF pulls out the Working on their own, without the backing the rest of the bands at the Festival All events will be held at Stepan Center stops and presents bands which in addition of a music department these “gear heads” because they consist of six musicians who except the Jazz Symposium which is held to being musically excellent, are refresh­ always manage to blow half the bands at will all be among the finest to appear. at the main lecture room of Crowly Hall of 1 ingly from the mainstream of modern jazz the festival off the stage with their precise Howie Shear on trumpet and drummer Music on campus at 2:30 Friday). 6 the observer ______Friday, April 1, 1977 Judge orders jailed for dea WASHINGTON,[AP] - Hamaas money bond that was revoked on Abdul Khaalis, leader of the Hanafi grounds he had violated conditions Moslem band that held 134 people of his release. hostage, was ordered jailed on Nine of the men who participated Thursday after a judge was told in the hostage incident three weeks Khaalis had been overheard mak­ ago are in jail in lieu of $50,000 ing “blood-curdling threats” in a bond each. The other two are wire-tapped telephone conversa­ being held in lieu of $75,000. tion. The judge said he does not The same judge who agreed to regard the threats “as idle words” let Khaalis remain free on personal i I and agreed with prosecutors that recognizance, ordered him jailed Khaalis posed a danger to the on Thursday. community. Shortly after the three hour court Immediately, U. S. marshals hearing, treasury agents arrested surrounded Khaalis, who had walk­ Khaalis’ son-in-law, Abdul Aziz, on ed into the courtroom a free man. charges that he had violated gun He was taken to jail under heavy laws. Warren McConnell, spokes­ guard. man for the treasury’s Bureau of Prosecutors said police wire-taps Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, An exhibition of large-scale photographs, taken of medieval manuscripts and drawings, is on had recorded Khaalis’ conversa­ said he did not know what prompt­ display at the Notre Dame Art Gallery. The exhibition, from the Ambrosiana Collection in Milan, is tions. ed the arrest. Aziz had sat in the dedicated in memorium to Fred Geissel, prepator for 13 years at the Gallery, who died Wednesday. Khaalis had been out on personal courtroom during the hearing, Official opening will be on Sunday, April 17. (photo by Leo Hansen) recognizance and it was that no­ beside Khaalis’ veiled wife. Gene Madeline Marty Wilder Kahn Feldman Laetrile bill survives attack

INDIANAPOLIS, [AP] - A House- movement to kill the bill. against because they were a wo­ approved bill to legalize the use of Mrs. Carson, who made an man or black.” laetrile in the treatment of cancer emergency flight back to Indiana­ Addressing Mrs. Carson, he survived a near-fatal procedural polis, returned to the Senate Thurs­ said, “ It was quite obvious the bill Friday & attack Thursday and moved to day evening and said she had was going to die despite your good 1&2 passage stage in the Indiana Sen­ planned all along to be back in time intentions. There was more than ate amid a barrage of personal to call the bill. one individual who intended that Saturday accusations. 7,9&11 Shaking and occasionally break­ laetrile would not be called on The attacks left sponsor Julia M. ing into sobs, Mrs. Carson said she second reading. I thought if you Carson, D-Indianapolis, a cancer had asked for sole control of the bill truly wanted this thing you would victim herself, in tears and inflam­ because “ cancer has no friends.. .1 appreciate me calling the bill.” ed the tempers of two of laetrile’s did not want it to be a political staunchest supporters. issue.” Earlier, when Tipton called the The battle began before noon Earlier this week, Mrs. Carson bill, he was challenged by Senate when a co-sponsor, Elden C. told The Associated Press she was President Pro Tern Robert Fair. Engineering Aud. $1. Tipton, D-Jasonville, called the bill having second thoughts about lae- for second-reading amendments l trile and was no longer certain the despite a Senate rule which gave bill would clear the Senate as had Mrs. Carson sole control of the bill. been expected. PALM SUNDAY Tipton said he called the bill “I still am not convinced that because Mrs. Carson, who was laetrile is a cure for cancer,” she attending a Democratic National said Thursday evening. “But I was The Beginning o Committee meeting in Washing­ not going to kill the bill.” ton, D. C., was absent and Thurs­ I “ I do not believe that those kinds day was the last day for the Senate of innuendoes would be placed on 5:15pm Saturday Rev. Robert Griffin, C.S C* to move House bills through the anybody else in this General As­ amendment stage. sembly today,” she said. Tipton said Mrs. Carson had not Tipton, his voice booming, fol­ told him she would be out of town lowed Mrs. Carson to the micro­ 9:15 am Sunday Rev. Edward O’Connor, CSC- and assured him the bill would be phone and said, “It is one of the called on schedule. most unfair things that has ever Although he did not mention her been said to me, that I picked 10:15 am Sunday Rev. Theodore Hesburgh, C S C- by name, Tipton said there was a someone out to discriminate (this liturgy will begin with a Egyptian exhibit to open Palm Sunday Procession at the grotto.) in Chicago on April 15 12:15 pm Sunday Rev. William Toohey, CSC CHICAGO, [AP] - If King the imagination since they were Tutankhamun were alive today, freed from the sands of the desert. Vespers and Choral Passion will be at 7:15pm in the Lady Chapel. he’d expect us to make a fuss over The tomb was discovered in 1922 him. And we are. by the archaeologist Howard Carter The celebrant will be Rev. Eugene Gorski, C S C’ Egyptian fever will probably and his sponsor Lord Carnarvon. It break out throughout the Midwest took 10 years to carefully describe, as 55 of the best preserved artifacts record and remove the exquisite discovered in the Pharaoh’s tomb treasures buried with the young in 1922 go on exhibit at the Field king. Museum of Natural History for four Most of the treasures remain in months beginning April 15. the Cairo Museum, but the Egyp­ Egyptians believed in a life after tian government, in cooperation death and they would not have with the National Endowment for found it strange or amusing that a the Humanities and the Metropoli­ wealthy Texas woman recently tan Museum of art in New York asked to be buried in her favorite City, has sent 55 of the best lace negligee seated in her $40,000 artifacts, including Tutankha- sports car, with the seat comfort­ mum’s famous, gold funeral mask, ably leaning back. Why get a on tour of six American cities backache. It’s a long trip. through April, 1979. King Tut would have approved. King Tut’s extremely life-like He didn’t want a backache either mask is inlaid with carnelian lapis and his officials put everything into lazuli, colored glass and quartz and his grave that he might need in the was placed directly over the King’s Land of the Dead - clothes, food, mummified body,which was then furniture, chariot, weapons, effi­ placed in three gold coffins and a gies of gods, rings and necklaces, sarcophagus. and even games to play. Other spectacular items in the The Texas widow was an ama­ 1 exhibit are a wooden gilt-statuette teur when compared to King of the goddess Selket overlaid in Tutankhamun, 1334-1325 B.C., the gold, a gilded figure of Tutankha­ boy-king who ruled over Egypt mun harpooning and a small, gold ND/SMC Senior Class Formal briefly 3,300 years ago and died as shrine of marvelous craftsmanship. a teenager of unknown causes. The Field Museum staff has KingTut, like other Pharaohs, created a special exhibit area, with was accustomed to being treated lighting and wall graphics, to give Bids on sale in LaFortune Ballroom like a god. But Tut’s tomb and the ; the impression that one is actually tombs of other Pharaohs were not descending into the four-room fu­ sacred to grave robbers who plun neral chambers, & LeMans Lobby dered most of them. Only one has The 55 objects will be presented been found intact in the Valley of in approximately the same order as the Kings and that is the tomb of they were found in the rooms - the | 2-4pm Tutankhamun, whose treasures antechamber, the burial chamber, have dazzled the eyes and sparked the 'treasury arid the annex. Vol. Ill, No. 1 a dependent student newspaper serving noire dame and st. mary s The AbsurderFriday, April 1, 1977 Hesburgher denies mismanagement Sign petition to double tuition by Quincy Purebred If the University does not get its 1 figure even Grinchaell can’t scrape $15 million loan to the University jects. “We could engrave Fr. Libel Editor 100% tuition increase it will have to up five who will agree to an from the Morrissey Loan Fund. The Hesburhger’s face on the Dome close down or hold classes only increase.” Fund’s manager, Mickey “ Shark” and set up some Golden Arches to Charges that the University three days a week Hesburgher As part of the agreem ent the SLC Morrissey, said that interest on the go beside,” Juice said. “We plan needs a tuition increase only be­ said. To encourage students to is insisting that Student Body loan would not run over 5% to buy a book for the library. We cause of extravagance and mis­ sign, Hesburgher threatened to Treasurer Mack “the knife” Heath monthly. The University will have could complete the renovation of management were branded hold classes on a different three be appointed to oversee the U- to put up the football team as LaFortune by installing a third lake “ naughty, naughty” and “ all a big days every week without telling niversity business office. Heath collateral. in place of the useless ballroom.” fib” by Fr. Teddy Hesburgher, students which they would be. will not have authority over educa­ Fr. Eddie Juice, executive vice- Finally Juice noted that there University president. He called on Attendence would be mandatory. tional policy but it is rumored that president, explained where the would be enough money left over to all undergraduates to sign the Contingency plans call for strip­ he believes much money could be extra tuition money would go. After send Hesburgher to Timbuktoo and tuition petition now being circulat­ ping the gold off the Dome and saved by abolishing the provost’s paying off the loan and paying Grinchaell to Hanoi for a year of ed. selling it. “We'd replace it with office and replacing it with an regular academic expenses the studies. “When the students hear At a press conference yesterday silver,” Hesburgher said, “but on-campus strip joint. University would still have enough about this, those signatures should Hesburgher tried to refute charges who wants ot admit they come from The SLC has agreed to co-sign a cash for several long-delayed pro­ really come rolling in.” which have recently appeared on a school with a silver dome?” unsigned wall posters. There is no Contrary to charges of extrava­ truth to the claim that University gance, Hesburgher claimed the University was cutting costs. “We Grits and Fritz deposed; officers are using extravagant transportation for personal purpos­ will save $5 million in salaries by es at University expense. Fr. axing all profs over 65 and all those Grinchael has not traded in his giving us trouble in the Faculty Grinchaell named president Mercedes for a new Jaguar. He still Senate,” he said. has the Mercedes. Consistent with The decision to require a petition Bulletin his vow of poverty he will not get a to raise tuition was made after by Drew J. Tongue new one until next year. negotiations between the Admin­ AP Non-Reporter Hesburgher also denied that his istration and the Student Life personal Lear jet is put to private Council. Eddie VanHassle, Grand WASHINGTON, D C. [AP] In a use. “ I need it for my job. How can High Poobah of the SLC said, bizarre series of events, leaders of I be a world savior if I can’t see the “When I heard about the Univer­ the government here have resigned world I’m supposed to save?” sity’s terribly financial shape I was to become innate objects and the shocked. I think that the University Charges that the University provost of an unknown midwest is a valuable addition to campus college has become president, with hosts numerous wild parties and life.” V that “ the food and drink flow freely no ope really knowing what in the The SLC moved to help the hell is going on. under the Dome” are also false, University out. It set up a commit­ Hesburgher said. “We only have James Grinchaell, A.S.P., took tee to appoint a commission to control of the government last i one party a semester for staff and decide on a method of deciding friends. True, last time we invited night when the Chairman of the about how to go about deciding Joint Chief of Staff, General Brow- Bangladesh, but we wanted to do whether there was a problem or not something to fight world hunger. inie, threw his, and a third grade and if so what kind of committee class in Utah’s support behind The posters say that our watercool­ should be appointed to deal with ers are filled with beer but they fail Grinchaell, instead of the other the crisis. After nine weeks of person seeking the office, ex- to note that this is an Irish school around-the-clock negotiations at and that we have a reputation to Playboy bunnie Holly Oh-My. Nickie’s, the SLC and the Admin­ The sequence of events started uphold. Besides, if you had to deal istration agreed on a 17-point plan with Grinchaell every day you’d when a Canadian scientist who had to deal with the situation. nothing to do after he discovered need a little liquid refreshment “Originally, Hesburgher wanted too.” that all his rats had died of cancer o just run a poll of student when he exposed them to 1,000,000 Hesburgher urged students not attitudes,” VanHassle said. “The degree heat, invented a machine Former ND Provost James T. Grinchall has become the Presinut oi to sign the anti -tuition-petition idea was to ask five students that could transfer brain waves into the United States. He beat out the former playboy bunnie, Holly petition which is now being circu­ whether they would agree to the any innate object. Oh-M y. (photo by that short guy) lated by an anonymous Anti-Tui- 100% increase. That seemed fair tion-Petition-Petition Commission. but we got a little suspicious when As soon as he heard of the After Kotter’s end, the rest of outside and played football for five invention, former President Jimmy The leaders of the Commission are we heard that all five students were the Cabinet also used the machine days until all the reporters died of unknown but suspicion has fallen named Rockefeller.” Kotter (no relation to the TV show to become such objects ranging heart attacks. star) immediately had the govern.- on a coalition of publications of When asked why the SLC agreed from an ice-cream cone to a The emergence of Grinchaell ment seize control of the machine people from WIND, the Absurder to let the decision about raising wastecan. When Vice-President came as a surprise to many political so that he could become a peanut. and the Spastic who are allegedly graduate student tuition be made Walter F. Woundale tried to use experts here as they thought that in opposition because they were not by a poll, VanHassle explained, “I’m tired of this job and my the machine to become a Minne­ Hesburger, the president of the invited to any of the wild parties. “Grad students are so cheap we mom always thought I had a brain sota lake, the machine found that midwestern college would get the of a peanut, so what the hell, I can’t he had no brain waves and instead nod over Grinchaell . However, really lose anything,” he said made him into a newspaper editor. Hesburger mystically disappeared SMC gym funds run out; before he was hooked to the Ex-president Richard M. Nizon last night, and rumor has it that he machine. His last words were, “I also used the machine to become a was forcably turned into a letter hope Billy doesn’t eat me in the football. He explained to reporters asking alumni for more money. clubhouse given to sports back of his service station and that they would have him to kick Grinchaell's press secretary, drench me down with a cheap around as long as they kept him full Brother Justice, A.S.P.1. said that by Morine Cybel Rainbow explained the fund six-pack.” f of airj The reporters then went Grinchaell did not have anything to raising procedures for the center do with Hesburger’s disappear­ The funds ran out today for the and said that the drive was “going ance. When a reporter asked him St. Mary’s Athletic Center and the pretty well.” how he knew that, he declared, “ I structure will remain incomplete “We’ve already got three know everything. I am everything. until 1982. Director of Housing, M&M’s drives in full swing and I am GOD.” He was carried away Clod Rainbow, announced that haveplansfor bake sales all through an hour later in a straight-jacket. plans have been altered and the the month of April. Also, we’ve In his first speech to the Ameri­ clubhouse will now bq remodeled to scheduled a pay-to-meet-your-ma- can people, Grinchaell said, “gob­ be the new athletic center. jor night and have installed pay ble, gobble.” Although it was a “1 guess the athletic center we toilets in all dorms. These projects very short speech, it went over very were building was just too big of a should bring in a lot.” well with the country. A Dim House project for us. We’re going to have Rainbow expects the clubhouse spokesman said that what Grinch­ to scale down our goals a bit,” facility to be completed by the end aell really meant was to say, Rainbow explained. of 1978. Problems arose in receiv­ “ Although we of course recognize Costs of the proposed renovation ing materials during the factory m Americans as adults, that doesn't of the clubhouse to house the shut downs in the March heat spell. mean that we must make them face athletic facilities are to be $89. Materials are being sent by cara­ the harsh real world out there. So “We can’t put in a pool, track, van and are expected in about three we must control these people for tennis courts, volleyball nets or months. their own good. Of course, we will racketball courts because of The incomplete structure of the mike mistakes, but our excusei^rill funds,” College President John athletic center by McCandless Hall be that we just love these people Dugout said, “but we will have two will be used for emergency fresh­ and we really are only amateurs. lovely ping-pong tables and a man housing next fall. Army cots, Even if the budget is now $900 basketball hoop on the porch.” coat racks and emergency army billion." The center will have an indoor rations are presently being stored The local press did not really bleacher capacity of 22 and a for the expected overflow. undc-; ,:and what Grin-, iiaell meant lockerroom complete with a show­ “The center is perfect for temp- by ‘4n Loco Parakeet,” but they er. proary housing.” said Minnie promised that they would find out “We’re building with the idea Mouse, director of housing. “It’s tomorrow. They apologized that that we can add on in a few years,” big and we can put at least 200 they couldn’t find out about it now, Dugout explained, “ Maybe after a freshmen there until we can get but Father Grinchaell is makipg while we can add outdoor badmin­ them permanent housing by forc- Ex-Presinut Nizon gives a final stare before his brain waves are everyone go to bed before 9 pm fro ton nets and several basketballs.” in^senioreof^amgus. ’ ’ ansplanted into football. (photo from archives) that he can tuck us all iq, V /‘.V ■ - - ns . 11 c i t - . . . - i 'J J V S i f . b u t , - •••.* f c f A V ib 3 V 1 . 8 the absurder Friday, April 1, 1977 The World in Shorts -International Pepper talks reopen

MOSCOW [AA]--Soviet leader Lionel “I.M.” Baloney said yesterday he would participate in the PEPPER talks with the Americans in an effort to reach a new treaty on the ingredients used in Pepsi Cola. President Timmy Cottopn said he was “ real pleased” with Baloney's decision. KLUTZ pilot denies blame

SANTA CRUZ DE NOWHERE* PARAKEET ISLANDS |AA]-The p ' K ol the KLU IZ jet that crashed with the Pan-Arm jet earlier this week stated yesterday, “ It wasn’t my fault. The other guys did it. I want my mommy.” Aeroport officials c< uld not be reached for comment. Pill poppers: don't breathe

NEW YORK |AA|-A recent report written bv a very special commission to study the effects of breathing on the American New faculty members [from left to right] Fonzie Failing, spock, High, Wison and William people said men over 175 who take aspirin should not breathe when Friendly. Missing is the Grinch who stole Christmas. they swallow the tablets. The report said this practice could result in the pill laker choking. On Campus Today ‘iRelevant9 profess

The University has responded to Hells Angels Honorary Fellowship. soliu or agricultural drugs for their the Campus Ministry’s plea for 1 -Limn lecture, "how to succeed in football without really Joining the theology department personal sickness or for their own relevancy in the curriculum, and trying” by dan devine, acc pit. will be Sister Mary Ellen Spock, personal happiness. five new members have been F.A.G. This makes her (or him) the A $200,000 laboratory fee will be added to the faculty as full profes­ first in the history of the University charged for drug materials which (WOO hours meet V°ur major, major nuke o'reiley, w ar room, sors. rote building. to be invited to the campus from after experiments, will be permitt­ Now teaching in the departm ent her order. She will be teaching ed to be sold to other students. The of history is Professor Marcus “The Theology of Interplanetary only restriction will be on the profit today cadaver exhibit, "stiffs” isis art gallery “ Fonzie” Failing. Failing will Travel,” which is limited to mem­ limit which now stands at $700,000. teach a course entitled, “The 8am 5pm tryouts, male models needed for library penthouse bers of the Notre Dame football History of the 50’s: The Great Era High, the founder of the Bong magazine, 14th floor, memorial library. team. Any other students wishing of the Motorcycle Kings.” The to enroll must have the instructor’s Center for Advanced Gaseous In­ course will be offered to all halation Studies, did graduate 3-bprn happy hour, $1 beers, free water, fat wally's, consent. undergraduate and graduate stu­ work at the San Francisco State library, nickies, and south bend jail. Spock received her bachelor’s (or dents as well for five credits. bachelorette’s) degree from the University School of Pharmacy in Failing who obtained his Ph.D. Haight-Ashbury, California. 8:30, 8:45, movie, disney double feature, son of flubber, and AC/DC Seminary of the Woods in from Uniondale High School, in Team teaching the new course in 3:51pm the devil in miss flubber, freezer, south dining hall Greencastle, Ind. Uniondale, N.Y. pursued advanced Offering a course to all under­ the sociology department two bro­ studies in his field on interstate graduates will be Dr. Stephen thers, Dr. Wilson and William 12 midnight album hour, wet willie and the society for creative Highway 101, stretching through Friendly. The course, “Interper­ anachronism: their greatest hits wsnd 640am. High, the new addition to the Oregaon and California. Failing chemistry department. He will sonal Interaction,” will be restrict­ will also be offering a seminar teach a course on personal pharma­ ed to male undergraduates. Both no-time candidate forum, candidates discuss their platforms entitled, “ Ayyy, An Introduction to teachers will serve as faculty for the office of sbp yesman, sand trap, 9th green, cology, explaining to students the Beinu Cool.” He also received the advisors for GSND. burke memorial golf course. various uses of liquid, gas, and ND garbage blamed $ Sick People Editor: Pat Cole Farmer Brown ’s Layout: Bob Brink, Joe Bauer, by Kinki Kooks have never been any complaints cans have a life expectancy of only Drew Bauer and Paul Schap- Senior Stiff Reporter about cancer,” he declared. one week due to the corrosive pler “ These FDA reports are all a nature of the contents. W riters: Gregg Bangs, Drew ’ bunch of hogwash anyway. It’s Sominex and his colleague Mind Bauer, Joe Bauer, Barbara never been proved that a single pig Bender are considering possible Breitenstein, Bob Brink, Deb­ The Food and Drug Administra­ tion may soon be banning another ever died from eating our gar­ action should the FDA decide to bie Dahrling, Chris Datzman, bage.” Priceless declined to com­ ban the garbage. “We have to keep Maureen Flynn, Pat Hanifin, Notice: All articles in the dangerous substance from the market. ment on the student mortality rate. a sense of our priorities around Katie Kerwin, Cathy Nolan, ABSURDER are fictitious and here,” Sominex cautioned. He has are intended to poke fun at Farm researchers have announc­ He also vehemently denied rumors Tony Pace, Jack Pizzolato, that dining hall walls have been said that the laundromat could be Maureen Sajbel and Marian various pooh-bahs and the ed that nine out of every ten of Farmer George Brown’s pigs have treated for corrosion after food used to wash all the cancer-causing Ulicny OBSERVER staff itself. The ingredients out of the garbage. staff hopes the readers don’t developed cancerous tumors when fights or that dining hall garbage I he Absurder was founded by take offense and can laugh fed a \steady diet of Notre Dame Tom O'Neil, an ex-drunk and along with the rest of us. garbage. Church Council chooses former editor. An FDA spodesman said that decision concerning a ban on the Yesterday in The Absurder’s story on “ Sex on Campus” , we made an product would be withheld until ND fight song as theme error. We actually had all quotes “conclusive evidence” is produced by Jennifer Rara will pre-empt his suggestion to attributed to the right people, to indicate a direct link between President Jimmy Carter to consider ERRATUM spelled all names right and didn’t cancer and ingestion of the gar­ Notre Dame’s “Fight Song” has its adoption as the United States make a single mistake. We bage. been chosen as the theme of the national anthem. apologize, for this error, but we Director of Notre Dame Food National Council of Churches, ac­ The “Notre Dame Fight Song” Services Edmund Priceless de­ were stoned last night. We promise cording to Dr. Claire Randall, was composed in 1928 by Michael that we will make a mistake in our fended his garbage, saying, “ Sure executive director. and John Shea, two Notre Dame next issue. it may be fatal to pigs, but it has A motion to adopt the fight song students. ______;______never been proven dangerous to was passed unanimously at an rats. Besides, the study presumes executive board meeting last night. We ran out of things that this stuff is eaten daily over a “We are proud to incorporate Rumor tells squirrels period of three of four years.” this theme of a traditional Ameri­ to run in this space Tommy Sominex, student can institution into the framework spokesman for Farmer ^Brown’s of our organization,” Randall stat­ so we decided to to quit throwing nutspigs in past controversies,, indica­ ed. ted that he was “enraged” that American clergy representing run some creative by Jake Pizzahacold “ Luckily she wasn’t hurt,” Ru­ once again officials were trying to mor commented, “but it’s scary to numerous demoninations have Absurd Person deprive the pigs of their susten­ been invited to the April 29th white space. think that someone could just be ance. walking along and get hit in the ceremony to commemorate the He charged that the whole thing fight song’s adoption. Fr. Theodore Dean of Students James J. back of the head with a twig.” was part of a plot to increase big Rumor stressed that he is only Hesburgh, University president, Rumor, urged Notre Dame squir­ government involvement and hint­ and Fr. James Burtchaell, provost, rels refrain from throwing acorns giving squirrels “a courteous and ed that it may indicate discrimina­ polite reminder. will represent Notre Dame at the and sticks at students because of tion against Catholic garbage as celebration which will be held in St. the possibility of inflicting, what he “ I’m not going to grab the first) well. squirrel I see with a handful of John the Divine Cathedral in termed, “serious lumps and Stated Sominex, “Cigarettes and Brooklyn, New York. Hesburgh will bum ps.” nuts. My concern,” he continued, saccharin aren’t banned for pigs, “is that squirrels remember that deliver the main address on the Rumor cited an incident that so why should we take away their topic, “ Football’s Potential for the occurred on March 30 near the it’s one thing to throw an acorn at a basic source of nourishment? They tree and another thing to hif. a Advancement of Ecumenism.” grotto in which a group of ten male are the only ones who actually student.” The Notre Dame Glee Club, squirrels “pelted” a St. Mary’s enjoy eating the stuff and they’re under the direction of Dr. David shuttle bus with acorns. One of the “If squirrels just accept their the only ones who can’t.” Isele, has been invited to sing the acorns, he said, broke a back social position and the responsibil­ Priceless, not known as a friend official version of the fight song. window in the bus, and a St. ity that goes with it,’d’ Rumor to pigs, maintains that the garbage According to Hesburgh, the hon­ Mary’s student had her conversa­ concluded, “then maybe we all must be safe. “ We’ve been feeding or of the fight song’s selection by There were no elephants on tion interrupted. can enjoy spring.” it to students for vears and there the National Council of Churches campus today. Friday, April 1 , 1977 the absurder Amin elected Senior Fellow by Jimmy Olsen ihis or her field and (2) have Cub Reporter (lifestyles and accomplishments that embody the “Notre Dame” spirit. Personality, interest, enthu­ Senior Class President Bob Bully siasm and personableness are all announced yesterday, the selection i a part of the award. of President Idi Amin as Senior When questioned about Amin’s Class Fellow 1977. qualifications. Bully responded, Amin, President-Dictator of U- "They speak for themselves." ganda, self-proclaimed ruler of Amin responded to the same Scotland and all-around nice guy, question saying, “I have been on will appear at Notre Dame on April the cover of both Time and News­ 31. He will address this year’s week. And Hollywood has made graduates on “ How to Win Friends three movies about me. And I can and Influence People” , as well as drink more beer than anyone else conduct several Assertiveness- alive.” Training Workshops. To win the senior award Amin Amin, known to his friends as had to beat out such other notables “ Idi VeeDee” , accepted the honor as Gov. George Wallace, Farah from his throne in Uganda declar­ Fawcett-Majors and husband. Cap­ ing “I accept.” Amin continued tain Kangaroo and Sr. Therese of saying that he was delighted to Calcutta. hear that Jimmy Carter would also Amin will arive at Notre Dame in Noise is not the only problem in the library. (photo by that other short guy) be on campus. his personal Lear jet, piloted by “I love Jimmy Carter,” Amin several Israeli commandos. After commented. “ I want Jimmy Carter landing on the South Quad. Amin Demand high grades to come visit me in Uganda. He will will exchange welcoming gifts with be very warmly received.” Amin Fr. Theodoar Hesburgher, Univer­ Pre-medders hijackthen ordered his servants to bring a sity president. It is rumored that large black kettle down from the Amin will give Notre Dame a life by Holde M. Up my demands.” didn’t want to hurt anybody.” palace attic. size gold-leafed statue of himself, He told the driver to head south Huffpuff instructed the driver to The selection of “Big Daddy” while Hisburgher will present A until he changed his instructions, head the bus back to Notre Dame followed recently proposed guide­ min with Bishop William McFan- Four student hijackers detoured Huffpuff stated. “ He continued to where he turned the four students lines requiring nominees to (1) nue. Bishop of the Ft. WayneSouth a bus enroute to Chicago on a argue with me about signing his over to the custody of their rectors. have done something significant in Bend diocese. Freshman Year field trip yester­ paper, and I could see I was getting They are expected to receive day. nowhere in convincing him to hearings with their respective hall According to Emil T. Huffpuff, change his mind,” he continued. judicial boards later in the week. Six students dead, dean of Freshman Year Studies, a According to Huffpuff, the bus “I only did it for my GPA,” one student approached him approx­ then rounded a sharp turn, and one of the students commented. “I’ll more missing from cold imately 45 minutes after leaving of the hijackers lost his balance and never get into medical school with up our philodendron and a jade the University and warned him that dropped his gas bulb on the floor. the grades I have now.” by I.M . Frosin plant. Add a little salt and pepper several students in the rear of the When the glass shattered, students The mother of the hijackers’ and it’s really quite good.” bus had taken a number of labor­ panicked and pushed toward the spokesman telephoned Huffpuff to A cold spell that paralyzed Notre “We ate really well the whole atory gas bulbs from their lunch windows. apologize for her son’s behavior. “ I Dame for two weeks lifted yester­ two weeks," one fat and happy bags. Huffpuff rose to investigate The hijackers’ spokesman shout­ didn’t think we had exerted that day, leaving six ND students dead student said. “ I shouldn’t tell you but was stopped in the aisle by one ed that there was no danger. “ It's much pressure on him to improve and a number of persons missing. what we had — but you may notice of the students who waved a gas not poisonous,” he admitted. “We his grades. We really just want him Sub-zero temperatures, violent there aren’t many ducks around bulb in each hand. sneaked empty bulbs out of lab last to be happy,” she stated. winds and over 75 inches of snow these days.” “He shouted at the driver to week. We wanted to scare every­ Huffpuff tentatively rescheduled closed the school for fourteen days A nose count in each of the halls detour the bus to a suburb of Gary one into listening to us, but we the Chicago trip for next Saturday. and prevented outside aid from revealed a number of rectors or else he would turn the stopper reaching the campus. | unaccounted for. on the bulb and fill the bus with Director of ND Food Services One Holy Cross student died on hydrogen cyanide,” Huffpuff stat­ Edmund Pretzel said today that the ed. WIND radio seized; major difficulty was providing food the tenth day, apparently from food poisoning. The student’s room­ “I advised the bus driver to for 6,000 people, since no supply mates claim he was able to catch a comply with the request because I trucks were able to get through. small fish in St. Mary’s Lake and had no idea if the students were “We started rationing immedi­ director assassinated had it for dinner the night before. playing a poor practical joke or if ately,” Pretzel said, “We had lots they actually had something po­ by Baba Wawa his ideas would be used anyway. of tortillas left over from Mexican Three Cavanaugh residents and two Lewis residents were found tentially lethal in the gas bulbs,” Associated Services Writer There has been some indication night, plus a year’s supply of frozen on the main quad today. The he added. and Absurd Person that Parcheesi actually did not chicken burgers and meat loaf. We students apparently succumbed to According to Huffpuff, three subdue the station single-handed­ hoped we would make it,” he the cold on their way to the South other students held gas bulbs but NOTRE DAME, Ind. [ASj - In an ly, but that reserves were backing continued, “but by the third day it Dining Hall. remained in their seats. He cau­ unprecedented movement, Only him up. This person or persons was obvious that we were running Six other students suffering from tioned the freshmen to remain Parcheesi, vice president of vice, remain obscure and Parcheesi out and would have to resort to malnutrition and delirium tremens calm and to open their windows admittedly assassinated the direct­ would not acknowledge their part manager’s choice.” were reported in fair condition “just as a precautionary measure.” or of the student radio station, in the plot. However, a dark-color­ During the hungry days that today at Memorial Hospital. The The spokesman for the group WIND, during his nightly news ed Mercedes was observed leaving followed, many students became six took refuge in Senior Bar the assured the passengers they would broadcast. Parcheesi immediately the scene. adept at locating and hoarding first day of the cold spell and were not be hurt unless someone at­ took control of the station and When asked if he will extend his precious food supplies. Director of finally rescued yesterday. Senior tempted to take away the gas banned all broadcasts excepting assassinations to other student Security Arthur Peerless said that Bar managers said insurance would containers by force. “All we want himself, wrestling matches and media, Parcheesi said much moves food machines in all campus build­ cover the club’s losses. is immunity from academic proba­ classical music. have been planned, but their ings had been broken into and implementation will depend on the University President Fr. Ted tion and guaranteed seven’s on the Parcheesi reportedly single- cleared out, and that many hall Hesburgher told The Absurder rest of the ‘Emils’ including the handedly stormed the WIND stu­ conduct of the media. food sales operations had either “ If the media decide to become today that steps have been taken to double one,” he stated. dios just at the opening of the given away food or been raided. insure ND’s self-sufficiency should The student handed a typed list evening newscast and shot station permanent, frequent features here, “ On the sixth day of the ordeal, such a crisis arise again. of the hijackers’ demands and director I.C. Nothing. Nothing died that is, if they begin, for example, we had a mass student raid on the “ We're going to raise our own requested that he sign it. Huffpuff shortly thereafter. publishing too often, such as once a Huddle,” Peerless said. “Our sec­ year, some action may be taken,” livestock,” Hesburgher explained. asked the student to reconsider the One of Parcheesi’s first move­ urity force was outnumbered, so we he said. “We’ll have sheep grazing be­ consequences of his actions, but he ments after taking over the station dynamited the roof of LaFortune Student media leaders had little tween the Memorial Library and refused to listen to Huffpuff s was to broadcast what he said and bombarded the raiders with comment on the WIND takeover, the towers and we’re converting advice. would be the first of many pro­ hunks of snow and icicles. Quite a except to note that Parcheesi the fieldhouse into a barn and When the bus reached Gary, the clamations. Speaking from atop the few still managed to get in,” he probably would do the same to henhouse. The land around Holy student directed the driver to a WIND tower, Parcheesi explained, added, “but all they got was a their publications if he wants to. Cross Hall can be used for hog- service station where he telephon­ “I control broadcasting here be­ couple cases of yogurt and some This policy, Parcheesi explained, raising,” he said. ed his home in a pay booth. During cause now I not only control the peach thrill ice cream.” will not affect the Absurder, the “ And if negotiations work out,” this time, his three companions money, but I control the building, Many students said they began AS , or himself, WIND. Hesburgher beamed, “we’ll be the positioned themselves in the bus too! I am WIND!” to make salads from their house- inly University in the U.S. with its aisle to prevent anyone from gett­ plants on the seventh and eighth Parcheesi then explained his own herd of buffalo. We re fortu­ ing off, Huffpuff stated. days of isolation. “ We’d finished attack on the studio. “ I don’t want nate enough to have a natural After placing the call, the stu­ off the popcorn and crackers,” one to see the student media get out of wallow outside of O’Shaughnes- dent reboarded the bus and direct­ SMC room "5- student reported, “so we chopped hand,” he said. “This attack has sy.” ed the driver to his home on the been planned for quite a while; it The University is also consider­ western outskirts of the city. The This weeks room picks at St. was just activated now because of ing a proposal for growing crops in student’s parents were waiting Mary’s have been invalidated be­ ks cancelled Nothing’s recent decision to begin the stadium, h% said. outside when the bus arrived. cause of a clerical error. Lottery Sunday will be given living space in broadcasting news and public af­ Hesburgher added that the U* “ I asked the student’s parents to fairs programs.” numbers will be reassigned at an the food sales areas of Pangborn, niversity is prepared td deal wi%* persuade him to give up this foolish Easter Sunday sunrise service on a Breen-Phillips, and Alumni Halls “ I feel this type of programming future energy shortage. “All build­ idea,” Huffpuff noted, adding, first come, first served basis. at Notre Dame. is totally unnecessary,” Parcheesi ings except the dining halls will be “His father assured me he had Those not choosing a room by This week’s room, picks at St. continued. “We should stick to closed. Students will eat and sleep tried to do so while ofi the noon Sunday will be given living Mary’s have been invalidated be­ such exciting radio events as in the same building,” he explain­ telephone, but his son had refus­ space in the food sales areas of cause of a clerical error. Lottery wrestling and Brahms. This will be ed. “We will issue blankets and ed to consider any alternatives to Pangborn, Breen-Phillips, and numbers will be reassigned at an the content of all our programming pillows to everyone, and, to cut his plan.” now.” Alumni Halls at Notre Dame. Easter Sunday sunrise service on a down on heating energy, we will The student spoke to his parents Parcheesi went on to explain that This week’s room picks at St. first come, first served basis. Those not choosing a room by noon autho^ze bundliq" ” while leaning out a bus window. “ I WIND’s format will consist of Mary’s have been invalidated be­ hesburgher said he regsattad his just wanted .you to see that I’ll keep continuous proclamations by the cause of a clerical error. Lottery iunday will be given living space in forced absence from campus dur­ .he food sales areas of Pangborn, my promise to bring up the grades vice president, occasionally inter­ numbers will be reassigned at an ing the two-week trial. His retuza Breen-Phillips, and Alumni Halls on my mid-semester report,” he rupted by wrestling and Brahms Easter Sunday sunrise service on a flight from Washington, D C. p # stated. “ I won’t let the bus go back lullabies. He stressed that he was first come, first served basis. at Notre Dame. re-routed to Ft. Lauderdale, Ms to school until Dean Huffpuff signs planning meetings but hinted that Those not choosing a room by noon This week’s room picks at St. until conditions cleared. 10 the absurder Friday, April 1, 1977 miserable meals in michiana

tasty terry Wide Wanda's As the kegs run dry, the jukebox turns two. It is rumored that one man tried to The meal got progressively worse. We colleague and cohort in cuisine opted for off and the pool games grind to a halt, the skip out without paying his bill, until moved on to our appetizer, a lumpy, cold the latter ($1.25). The trucker’s special lone survivors of the evening’s festivities Wanda and her daughter stopped him. He bowl of oatmeal, spiced with the distinct includes two pieces dehydrated, stone-cold call it a night. Picking themselves up off now resembles a flattened pancake. flavor of coakroach legs ($.63). My guest, toast, charcoal black for color (rotten jelly the floor, stool, table or wherever they may One glance at the menu, though limited Arnold, having a stronger stomach than I, given free of charge), runny scrambled have dozed off, they begin their long in selection, and catering to an elite group managed to swallow the dish with relative eggs and grease burnt potatoes. While journey home to campus. For those people of drunks, illiterate truck drivers and ease. One spoonful of the mess sent me I tried to quell overwhelming waves of who are unable to find the door, the off-duty cops, will reconfirm all suspicions running for the bathroom, only to discover nausea brought on by the obnoxious odors amiable but burly bouncers will bodily of the truly gross nature of the diner. With it is nothing more than a clump of bushes of the food, or perhaps Wanda, Arnold escort them out. Staggering uncertainly few exceptions, all categories are examples behind the kitchen. Faced with such rustic happily snarfed down his burger plate, back home from those exciting local of cooking with grease, ranging in price accommodations, I took a deep breath and complete with chili and horseradish sauce, nightclubs (i.e., the South Bend bars), from $.65 to $3.01. reentered, ready to struggle through the compressed between two moldy slices of many a soused student has come across a To begin the meal, my special guest main course. I did not see how it could onion-garlic roll. quaint, off the beat and track all-nite diner, gourmet, Arnold, Farmer Brown’s number possibly get any worse. How wrong I was! “Truly a delectable delight to satisfy the "The Black House Cafe,” commonly one pig, and I gulped down a glass of Confronted with the painstaking, mon­ pallate of any self-respecting sow,” grunt­ known as “Wide Wanda’s,” overlooking freshly-squeezed rust water, or better umental task of choosing between the ed Arnold. “ Especially appealing are the the lovely landscape of the South Bend known as Wanda’s homemade version of trucker’s special and the burger plate, I unique blend of sauces and spices, which Sewage Plant. orange juice. warily selected the former while my can only be appreciated by someone with my extensive knowledge of finer foods,” At first glance, this restaurant may Arnold extolled. I must admit 1 am appear somewhat dilapidated and disap­ seriously in doubt of my companion’s pointing. One step inside the door will mental state, as well as his taste buds. indubitably confirm this opinion. Wide For anyone who has managed to survive Wanda’s is revoltingly decorated in early the main course, Wide Wanda’s offers American gas station restroom fashion. absolutely no choice for dessert. My friend For those couples interested in enjoying a Arnold, desiring a sweet treat" to round off late night tete-a-tete over a hot cup of his meal, chomped on a stale chocolate coffee and a bite to eat to satisfy those ant-covered donut ($.20) whose imitation- midnight munchies, forget it - you are style ants greatly resembled in taste &nd definitely at the wrong place. For anyone appearance, real live ones. 1 decided to interested in finding a fairly warm place to bypass this dessert, choosing instead to crash before heading home. Wide Wanda’s chew upon to tablets of Pepto-Bisrr ol. \ offers several cramped booths with unique Arnold, as I suspected, was oblivious h> three-legged chairs, situated along one this fact and snorted his approval of the wall. If you can balance the chairs, avoid donut. “It’s almost as good as the donuts the falling plaster from the ceilings and Farmer Brown gets from the North Dining still eat all at once, have a seat. Hall. ” Arnold remarked. I have always believed that one should To capture the real essence of the diner, experience everything at least once in life. l recommend you ask to be seated at the Anyone who has experienced and survived counter. From this vantage point, you can a meal at Wide Wanda’s can survive any observe the master chefs at work, creating major disaster. For anyone who is the culinary delights which have made intrigued enough to venture into this Wanda’s a truly unforgettable and definite veritable jungle of nausea, I highly ly regrettable experience. More interest­ recommend you bring along a first-aid kit ing tr observe than the preparation of the of Pepto-Bismol, Alka-Seltzer, Di-Gel and food are the chefs themselves. To say that Kaopectate. Better yet, enter only after Wanda and her daughter stand out is an consuming a lethal amount of alcohol. understatement of obese proportions. If Perhaps you will pass out before the meal you like women with the physique of a arrives at your table. bloated balloon, you’ll certainlv like these i W w r fHappy Features ‘Holidays T 'Holidays 5 B-Ball tickets raised to $99, Odds ah 30-game home season in‘80-81 by Joe Sniff ACC Ticket Manager Mike Mus­ come through,” he hummed. In “ You never Know wnai s going Not a heck of a lot has been happening on the ND sports scene ic announced that tickets for the fact. 3,000 hollering Notre Dame to happen,” he said. “Branning recently and what has isn’t interesting enough to devote an entire 1980-81 Notre Dame basketball students were at NCAA Headquar­ might decide to go pro early and slanted, praiseworthy type of article. Therefore, we’ll take a look at the season will go on sale next week. ters when the decision was made to maybe even Hanzlik. Or the ACC whole ND sports scene. Music stated that the price of the allow Notre Dame to play all its might cave in, or even Digger will Goose Smith, noted ND gunner, is known for his rather flat tickets will be $99 for the 30-game games at home. get assassinated for arguing with trafectory shot. Goose claims he’s too lazy to add an arch and is looking 1 schedule. “We decided to play Music defended the early sell­ the refs too much. If we sell the for a way to get credit for shooting the ball up through the hoop. Must all games at home starting in 1980 ing, though, saying that they want tickets now, we’ll get the money we be a phsics major. — Toby Pope, the team’s leading dieter, claims he since we can depend on the crowd to make the tickets “ available to all want, and at Notre Dame that’s the used to weigh 270 pounds, but lost it all because it would be more of a to help out when the team can’t students.” real name of the game.” challenge to play skinny. Pope also said the skinny frame allows him to Some students have expressed get through more openings in the lane. jacques low*— ^ dissatisfaction over the 200 percent Bill “The Cherry” Taperno has signed a multi-year contract with increase of ticket prices. But Music Vitalis Hairdressers on the merit of his nippy hair staying perfectly in said, "Look at it like this. A lot of place through four seasons of varsity ball. “ My hair has the ability to students get scalped trying to get fake left, deke right and stay right in the middle, whether it’s in the Non-Happenings tickets to games like UCLA. Mary­ bars or even on the court,” Taperno commented. land, USF, and Indiana. So aL, Speaking of logic, Richard “Excavator” Philps revealed his low blows though the price is high, we are at recruiting strategy. “ We’ve got to find players to counterbalance other least ensuring that the student can teams’ strategies. I’ve got a 9.1 sprinter to go against Las Vegas, a There ain't been much happening on the ND sports scene get a ticket, so we’re just charging judge to indict the refs who worked the North Carolina game and god to recently but I figure it's possible to BS my way through another accordingly for this service.” play against UCLA,” he revealed. Philps is rumored to have been column in which I can insult at least a few members of the ND-SMC "Also,” Music continued, ’’the trying to get A1 McGuire to take over coaching in the playoffs. community. students should support the pro­ Coach Dean Damned announced he had signed the as-of-yet-notborn Head football coach Hank Heavenly recently announced the gram more financially.” sons of the three Greyer brothers. “ We feel it is a sound investment,” successful recruitment of several top prospects. The best of them is Most team members responded remarked Damned. Defensive back Martin Bradalee claims he is not quarterback Myron Bagle. Bagle is a 7 foot, 137 pound pure passer favorably to the price increase of that mean. “If wide receivers didn’t try to grab my hand before the who played high school ball at Cincinnati’s Molar High. Yes, that’s tickets. Said Dave Kooz-cuz, game and mumble something about luck, I wouldn’t bite or maul the high school that sent Steve Fathouse, Hairy Webkongburger “Digger hardly ever lets me get them,” he said. In order to relieve the quarterback situation, Damned and Brief Case to ND Bagle is the first slim player to come out of into the game. So by scalping other announced he would enter a bidding war with the Los Angeles Rams that school. Asked it he thought Bagle could start as a freshman, students and people for tickets, it’s for the services of Joe Namath. Thfe offensive and defensive lines coach Heavenly said, “Right now all of our plays are for short just like starting your own business announced they would the littering problem around the bars by setting quarterbacks, since Dick Slayer was our quarterback last fall. If now that the value of tickets have up training table in Nickies. “There would be one less bar to go to,” we're able to change our plays to suit a tall quarterback, he could gone up. I'll make a fortune. And remarked one. So much for pretzel logic. play some. But the fact that he’ll actually be able to see over the most importantly, it will give men center’s butt on the snap could prove to be a problem. something to do for a change.” The entire schedule of the Irish baseball, track, golf and tennis teams When asked why someone of semetic origin would come to ND, Jiff Hammerhead expressed sim­ was cancelled because a late snow storm dumped 52 inches of snow on Bagle said, “ Everyone knows that only the image of this place is ilar feelings about the price in­ sunny South Bend. Athletic mis-Director Deer Crouse regretted the Catholic. With the penny-pinching, cheapskate mentality of the crease, and added, “ Now with the snow but said the saved money could to into constructive things like administration. I'm sure I’ll feel right at home.” money I’ll be making selling tic­ football and basketball. Fencing coach Michaelangelo Dekekkio Other top recruits were Terry Seamore and Nick Conjure, both kets, I can afford to go to the Dr. J. stabbed himself accidently in a fit of anger when his daughter hybrids of former ND players, Bruno Dorko, an eight-foot Sumo Basketball Camp this summer.” congratulated him for winning the fence-hopping national champion­ wrestler whom Heavenly wants at DT’s, and Billy “Hurricane” Tickets will go on sale Tuesday, ship. Hickey Coach Righty Williams has enrolled the entire team in Carter, a running back from Georgia. Heavenly called him “ a real April 15 at 12 midnight. No lines Math 101 following their play-off against Minnesota. Lacrosse players fighter.” will be permitted, according to are perlexed about why no one goes to the games. Says one, “ God, it’s North American, fast, exciting, and most of all, violent. Any domer can When asked why he took so long to announce the signing of these Music. And only one ticket can be relate to the last reason.” In the same vein, the women’s tennis team players, Heavenly stated, “ We had to teach them to spell their given to each student. Checks for announced it will pay people to watch their upcoming match against names, so they would get at least a combined score of 200 on the tickets can be made payable to your Indian Subdivision College of Technical Science at Wabash. Couldn’t SAT's. That way we’ll have no trouble being accepted here. favorite Notre Dame basketball figure why. In the last news of the day, Frs. Teddy Hes rhger, Jimmy Besides, we don’t want to accept just any jock to play here, team member.______DeCheeko would go nuts trying to keep them in.” Burtchaellis, Eddie Joyce, Jimmy Wisosnis, and Elk iulcahee said In an unrelated story I. “Dugher’ Phillips announced that Pill The End- they would enter a team in An Tostal Basketball named he Holy Lamedeer would be returning to ND to play for the hoops team next The Absurder ends here, Rollers. Hesburgher said he would enter the Dr. J conies,. I’m not year. Lamedeer had a 3.9 GPA at Anchorage Tech this year. His quite sure what a slam dunk is, but I’m sure I can meet the challenge ; father is the owner of the two room school. -we think! and perform admirably,” he said. ______‘ '• ^’*• * * ■' • . » y* j f ,* Friday, April 1, 1977 the observer In SALT talks Gromyko sites US inconsistency, unfairness MOSCOW [AP] - Soviet Foreign said about rights by the United conference, missile was a departure from what consider their most powerful. Minister Andrei A. Gromyko said States., worsens the atmosphere Vance left Moscow on Thursday President Gerald R. Ford had in “They just didn’t like them and yesterday that the Kremlin had for discussion of other issues morning after announcing the Sov­ mind when he made the Vladivos­ that was all,” Gromyko said. i turned down American nuclear including arms limitations.” iet Union had rejected both a tok agreements. “Sometimes they said they were weapons limits because they were Vance, making European stops limited American proposal and a “ One cannot talk about stability ‘too heavy.’ Sometimes they said unfair and inconsistent. on the way home from his fruitless “comprehensive” plan for deep when a new leadership arrives and they were ‘too efficient” - if a Gromyko, in a televised news efforts to get an arms control cuts in both countries’ nuclear crosses out all that has been weapon can be spoken of in that conference watched by millions of agreement in Moscow, said in arsenals. achieved before,” Gromyko said. w ay.” Soviets, said Secretary of State Bonn that his proposals had been a Vance’s limited proposal was “ We would like to see our relations Gromyko complained the Amer­ Cyrus R. Vance’s contention that “very fair package.” Vance went essentially a call to ratify a 1974 more stable and we would like icans had not backed a previous the Russians had rejected a broad on to London and was to brief Vladivostok pact which called for them to be founded on the prin­ Russian proposal for a ban on arms control proposal was “basic­ British and French leaders in Paris both sides to keep to 2,400 nuclear ciples of peaceful coexistence, and developing new weapons of mass ally false’’ and he mentioned on Saturday. land-based missiles, strategic even better - that they should be destruction, but had then included numbers and details which Vance bombers and missiles on submar­ friendly.” the same proposal in the U.S. plan. Gromyko countered that “the had not publicly discussed. ines. but if left out the potent new The news conference at a luxur­ This, he said, had made a “very version widely circulated in the American cruise missile, which was ious government guest house was doubtful impression” on the Sov­ Carter Administration criticism West these days, alleging that the developed after Vladivostok, and believed to be the first time that iets. of human rights issues in the Soviet U.S. representative proposed a the new Soviet Backfire bomber. Gromyko had addressed foreign Thumping a table Gromyko said, Union had no direct effect on the broad disarmament progaram Gromyko insisted that the cruise reporters here. “Let’s discuss the subject honest­ rejection of the proposals made by while the Soviet leadership failed to missile be counted as a strategic Gromyko, who is to meet with ly. Is the U.S.A. ready to sign a Secretary of State Cyrus R. Vance accept this program, is basically weapon while the Backfire be Vance again in May, said the treaty or not? in Moscow this week, Gromyko false.” considered “not strategic.” Americans had called for a max­ “ Don’t believe that some critical said. “Nobody proposed such a pro­ American defense experts differ imum of 1,800 to 2,000 nuclear comments directed at the United But rising to his feet for em­ gram to us,” the 67-year-old on the Backfire’s strategic poten­ delivery vehicles on each side. States reduce our desire to any phasis, the veteran Soviet minister Gromyko told foreign correspond­ tial, but Gromyko said the Amer­ Some 1,100 to 1,200 of these could extent to make agreements be­ said “the fact is that everything ents he had summoned to the news ican refusal to include the cruise be equipped with multiple war­ tween the U.S.A. and the Soviet heads. Union. He said the Americans wanted “We are ready to discuss these the Soviets to “liquidate” certain questions,” Gromyko said. “We Carter may lose rockets that the Soviets apparently have patience.” WASHINGTON [AP] - Sen. one Republican voted for it. who supported the rebate in com­ “quick as a dodo” Russell B. Long, who will lead the When the tax bill was debated in mittee, Sens. Floyd Haskell of floor fight for Senate passage of the Senate Finance Committee, Colorado and Lloyd Bensten of happy hour 3-6 today President Carter’s tax rebate plan, which Long chairs, the vote for the Texas, said they might vote against said yesterday that the rebate will rebate followed party lines with all it on the Senate floor. dodo cocktail - $.50^ 2 be defeated unless Carter dumps the Democrats voting for it and the Long conceded he is not enthusi­ additional support for it. Republican minority solidly against astic about the rebate. The senator it. The one independent, Sen. once likened the proposed tax beers - $.30 “If the vote were taken today, Harry F. Byrd of Virginia, opposed the rebate would lose,” Long, a refund to “ throwing$50 bills off the horseshoes it. Louisiana Democrat said in an top of the Washington Monument However, two of the Democrats interview. and hoping it does some good.” volleyball1 and music In addition, Long predicted that t april fools party Carter would veto any economic ] Economist predicts stimulus bill that substituted a permanent tax cut for the $50 Friday nite rebate he proposed as a means of increase in housing costs giving a quick boost to the econo­ WASHINGTON, [AP] - It will gin & tonics seven & sevens $.40 my. Carter’s proposals already call by Sen. Edward Brooks, R.-Mass., cost you about $90,000 to buy a for a tax cut in addition to the designed to make the purchase of SATURDAY NIGHT 9-1 medium-priced new home by 1986, rebate. an initial home easier for young twice as much as present prices, an families. REJECTION NIGHT SPECIAL DIME BEER The 38 Republicans are united in economist told Congress yesterday. Brook’s bill would provide for opposition to the rebate and there Economist Kenneth Rosen of comparatively low payments in the WITH EVERY REJECTION LETTER (limit 10 is little enthusiasm among the Princeton University made the early years of a mortgage. The bill show us a CJF ticket, get a $.25 drink Democratic majority for the plan. prediction, saying the country is in assumes that family income will Long and other senators have said “a housing crisis of unprecedented rise, making possible higher pay­ where? Oh, we forgot to say. they think Carter also hurt his proportions” that will get worse ments in the later years of a senior bar, silly. cause by initiating a review of during the next decade. mortgage. federally funded water projects, a Because of high monthly pay­ The Brooks bill also would allow move that drew angry protests ments on mortgages and increasing tax-exempt savings accumlate up from many members of the Con­ down payment requirements, to $10,000 for down payments. gress. “ nearly two-thirds of all American Rosen said the present system of families could not afford to pur­ level payments throughout the life However, most Democrats plan chase the home where they now of a mortgage “is not well adapted to support the rebate cut out of live,” he said. to an inflationary environment.” reluctance to embarrass Carter so “Most new entrants to the Without change in mortgage early in his term. housing market young families and requirements, “the American other first-time home-buyers can­ dream of universal home owner­ The Senate is scheduled to begin ##* not afford to purchase any home at ship is virtually dead, ” he said. consideration of the tax bill on all,” Rosen said. Brooke’s bill also was endorsed April 18, the day it returns from a “ By 1986 the median-priced new by industry groups representing ten day Easter recess. Originally, home will sell for close to $90,000 banks, savings and loan associa­ the Senate Democratic leadership LIBRARY with the average down payment tions and real estate dealers. had hoped to complete action on required averaging close to the measure before the recess. CARRY-OUT SPECIALS $23,000,” Rosen told the Senate The House has already passed Banking Committee. SHAKESPEARE'S our choice of Rum, the bill. An attempt to strip the He said the current medium ALIVE & WELL & rebate from trhe measure was price is around $45,000 per year LIVING IN defeated 219 to 194, But 54 and increasing by more than 10 [vodka, Gin, Whiskey $3.89/fifth| Democrats joined 140 Republicans percent annually. AMERICA in opposition to the rebate. Only Rosen testified in favor of a bill Cold 12pk Drummond Bros. BEER Break out of your shell Reg. $3.89 and get a haircut Now $2.69 for Easter! Remember $1.00 Pitchers 0 every Mon. & Tues. Get your hair done eggzactiy the This past Wednesday we had a comic strip in way you like it at the Windjammer. the paper. The way we do a strip is that we write the copy and then give it to a cartoonist. The cartoonist of that strip, who has been fired, If not, the yolk is on you. decided to change most of the copy. We apologize to the girls of Regina Hall, what we had as a funny line in the copy, was changed to a crude joke at “Z Z T d h e W indjam m er best. Once again we are sorry. 1 2 t h e observe r Friday, April 1,1977 Student protest, fire close college HOLLY SPRINGS, Miss. [AP] - black college throughout the day, a lack of communication with discuss problems which led to the story building. in a throwback to the turbulence of as students complied with the order administrators - particularly Presi­ unrest. He said of the fire and Mayor Sam Coopwood of Holly the 1960's. a fire during a student for what officials said would be a dent W.A. McMillan. school closing, “ I’m sorry this had Springs said fireman found five protest caused a shutdown of a “ cooling-off period" of at least two Student spokesmen said the to happen.” cans of gasoline and a plastic bag small liberal arts college here weeks. disagreement with McMillan had The protest turned violent when containing gasoline soaked rags in yesterday. About 50 Mississippi Highway been building for several months some of the demonstrators set fires the building. patrol officers were called in to and prompted a three day boycott in trash cans around the adminis­ “There is no doubt that it was Rust College officials ordered all assist city police in keeping the of classes in December. They said tration building and burned two arson,” he said. 842 students to leave the campus peace. many students were especially mattresses outside the library. Student body vice president by nightfall, following the fire About 200 students had gathered upset because trustees had voted The students then marched to Charles Dawkins was arrested for which caused $500,000 damage to shortly after midnight to air grie­ Wednesday to renew McMillan’s McMillan’s home chanting “ Fire it investigation of disorderly conduct the administration building. vances over the handling of student contract. up.” Told he was not home, the and attempting to incite a riot, but A steady stream of cars left the aid programs, conditions in the McMillan, 57, who has held the marchers gathered on the ground administrators later dropped rural campus of thepredominantly dormitories and what they felt was post for 10 years, declined to floor of the 110 year old brick charges on condition he return to administration building. his home in Chicago. Officials said One of the protestors, Wayne no more arrests were planned. Robinson, president of the junior Unlike many of the nation’s class, said most students first knew campuses, Rust College, supported about the fire when observers by the United Methodist Church, SU appointment draws fire outside saw dark smoke and flames did not see any violent antiwar coming from the top of the three- protests during the late 1960’s. icontinued from page 1] the Student Government Commis­ playing politics with the supposed­ SU Associate Director Walt Ling; sioners. ly non-political directorship. Mont­ Director of Student Activities Bro. gomery, criticizing Bender and John Benesh and HPC Executive The present dispute over Gryp occurs in the context of a year long Gassman’s group, said, “ I realize Co-ordinator Keefe Montgomery. everyone was sincere but I’m Montgomery was sitting in for HPC series of disagreements between SBP Mike Gassman and SU Direc­ appalled at seeing this bloc voting Chairman J.P. Russell who, until and very upset at the way politics' this friday and every Wednesday evening, was running tor Ken Ricci over how .indepen­ friday 5:15 mass & dent the Union should be. Sources are conducted on this campus.” for SU Director himself. supper The Board met Sun., Mar 27 and in both organizations have said Gassman and Ricci feuded for Ling, who supported Gryp com­ decided unanimously that six votes mented, “ Some people are saying would be needed to choose a much of the year and see the argument over the SU directorship that Ricci voted against Gryp for director. It narrowed the field of political reasons; because he was candidates to Gryp, Rooney and as a continuation of that fight. □n Gassman and Bender’s choice.” m i n i s t r y Russell but was unable to break a Representatives of each side Ricci now says he will cooperate deadlock between these three. The claimed that the other side was with Gryp, the Board’s choice. Board met again Wednesday night and learned of Russell's withdraw­ al. After lengthy discussions and several secret ballots which split ■5-4, Gryp was elected on a 6-3 vote. Russell stated in a letter to the Board that he did not think he could give the directorship a “ 100 pecent effort." He said yesterday that he may run for reelection as HPC NOTREDAME chairman. The student body consititution requires that the Appointment Board’s decision be approved by the incoming Student Government Board of Commissioners. That body is composed of the SBP, JAZZ FESTIVAL SBVP, the Student Body Treasurer, the HPC chairman and the three April 1st and 2nd SLC representatives. Several dissatisfied SU workers ALL EVENTS HELD AT STEPAN CENTER, arc considering asking the Com­ missioners to reject the decision. There is some question as to when UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME the "incoming" commissioners could meet to review the decision since the new HPC chairman will Apmll, Friday Night 7:30 Admission $5.50 not be chosen until April 12 and since the current SLC apparently 7:30 Notre Dame Big Band decides when new members take 8:00 Ohio State Combo office. (The change-over has sometimes been delayed until 8:30 Texas Southern Jazz Ensemble May). There are no constitutional 9:00 Fredonia Combo limits on the reasons why the 9:30 Northwestern Big Band Commissioners may reject a direc­ tor- Despite arguments about this April2, Saturday Afternoon 12:30 Admission $2.50 year's SU director selection, most participants in the dispute agreed that the selection process should 12:30 Northern Iowa Jazz Ensemble probably be changed. Bender 1:00 Jeff Fellaton Combo- Eastern Illinois suggested that, “in the future the 1:30 Memphis State Jazz Ensemble selection should be made either 2:00 Citizen's Band-University of Iowa completely by Student Union people or completely by some 2:30 East. Illinois Big Band outsider." Ricci suggested that the outgo­ ing SU Commissioners might April2, Saturday Night 7:00 Admission $4.00 choose the new director. The present appointments board is only 7:00 Two High School Festival Winners one year old. Before it was 8:00 Fredonia Big Band created, the new SBP selected the 8:30 Notre Dame Combo director subject to the approval of 9:00 MIT Festival Big Band SMC open house 9:30 Shearer-Boris Guitar Duet 10:00 Wisconsin Conservatory Jazz Combo set for May 1 10:30 M edium Rare Big Band New England Conservatory The public is invited to an open house at St. Mary's on May 1 11:00 Guest Performance: Eastman During the day all facilities will be School of Music Jazz Combo open for public viewing. In the afternoon the Senior class w;i] present to Dr. Duggan a " that will be placed in the ALL SESSION PASS: Followed by Award Ceremony and Award new athletic facility upon its dedi- Winner's Jam *xt September. The pre­ sentation will be in Stapleton JUDGES: Lounge, but Vbe time will be announced at a later date. $ 8.00 General Public BOB JAMES . Ending the May l! open house RANDY BRECKER will be an all campus picnic at MIKE BRECKER dinner hours on the grounds out­ BOB MOSES side of the SMC cafeteria. Co- .00 ND/SMC Community ev.-hnnge tickets for tb mcnic will DAVE SANBORN ail.-ble at Notre Ja n ie ■ WILL LEE ceeding the picnic. Friday, April 1, 1977 the observer 13 A & L job placement slim [continued from page 31 One senior in arts and letters are for arts and letters." she noted. some companies such as insurance who has interviewed through the One senior, a science major, said companies, retailing firms, some Bureau this year said competition she has had experiences with banks, and one or two of the larger was great in just getting an interviews at the Placement Bureau companies such as Proctor and interview. “ Sometimes I think, ‘Is where the firms had no intention of Gamble will interview arts and it worth the rat-race?’ There's hiring “normal college people.” letters students, “but not very competition just to get the first many of them ” will. interview." They would only hire someone if a “The bulk of the arts and letters “really exceptional" person came She added that she thought the along, she said. people suffer immediately after early-morning lines for sign-ups The Placement Bureau docs not graduation,” he continued. Wil­ was a disadvantage to the employ­ “recruit" companies to interview lemin said more students in arts er. "They’re not really getting the through the office. Rather, the and letters should go to graduate quality people; they’re getting the companies that wish to interview school or “they may be faced with early-birds," she said. But she through the Bureau make arangc- taking a job that will be lower than added that interviews are "the best thejme^he^eMheh^sight^m^ ments with Willemin. Willemin way to get further." noted the Bureau is still adding Observer However, a senior engineering companies for the rest of this student said she has never been semester, and that this semester is. closed out of an interview that she at present, 18 to 20 percent better d wanted on Monday morning. than this time last year in the According to figures compiled by “There are more interviewers for number of companies interviewing the Placement Bureau, only 38 arts science and engineering than there at the Placement Bureau. and letters students who interview­ ed through the Bureau last year m s received offers through these inter­ views. Sixty-two engineering stu­ dents received job offers, 14 science students, and 158 business administfatien-students. Willemin noted that business administration students do not have much difficulty getting jobs, and there are only “a few” engineering students who are not successful in securing employ­ ment.

According ITT the same set of statistics from the Placement Final cuts in the cheerleading tryouts will be held tomorrow Bureau, the average salary offered morning from 10 to 2 in the ACC pit. All students are welcome to in these jobs for arts and letters attend. ______(photo by Leo Hansen) students was approximately $11,058, while that for business administration was approximately General Post to speaK $12,163. For engineering students, it was approximately $13,939 and at AFROTC b$11,591 for science students. Major General Gerald J. Post, of the Korean War and has served (Median figures were not available Chief of Staff for Air Force Logis­ in numerous operating commands, from the Bureau.) tics Command, will be the guest including a top management po­ This year, there are 154 arts and speaker at a University of Notre sition with the Office of the letters students rgistered at the Dame Air Force ROTC Dining-Out Comptroller, Headquarters United Placement Bureau, 371 business tonight. States Air Force. A Master administration students, 151 engi­ A formal dinner for military Navigator, his military decorations neering students, and 51 science members and their spouses, the and awards include the Legion of students. Willemin said he expects The Marines Dining-Out is sponsored by the Merit, Distinguished Flying Cross, this year to be better than last year, local AFROTC Detachm ent’s Ar­ Meritous Service Medal, and the at least in terms of the number of We’re looking for a few good men % nold Air Society. Air Medal with two oak leaf companies interviewing at the clusters. Bureau. General Post is a combat veteran for our team. If you can meet and master # | a challenge, you may have what it takes forg Sociology convention starts today Marine officer training. Find out. Topics such as premarital sexual which will consist of one session will be from 1 to 3 this afternoon in behavior and drinking patterns on this afternoon and sessions tomor­ the first floor foyer of LaForthun, No on-campus training or drills officer’s campus are among the papers that row morning and afternoon. Each the first session beginning at 3:30 will be presented at the second session will be divided into three p.m. Registration continues Satur­ comission upon graduation See the annual Notre Dame sociology con­ different topic sections, meeting in day morning at 8:30. The two vention to be held today and different rooms of LaFortune. Saturday sessions will begin at Saturday in the LaFortune student At a meeting in the ballroom 9 a.m. and 1:15 p.m. Officer Selection Team in LaFortune today, jg center. Saturday at 11 a.m., Dr. Hans This convention will hear 38 Mauksch, executive officer of the i 9am to 4pm. papers of a wide variety presented American Sociological Association, Freshman formal by graduates and undergraduates will speak on the topic “ Sociology: from 28 Midwestern colleges and 1 Discipline of Profession?” universities. It is sponsored by the Mauksch’s talk will be followed by set for Apr. 16 Notre Dame sociology club and a buffet luncheon in the ballroom The freshman formal will be held Alpha Kappa Delta, the sociology ; open to all participants. tomorrow in the ACC Concourse honor society. i Frieden added that there will be Room from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Mark Frieden, sociology club a cocktafl party for all faculty and Tickets are $6 per couple and can ba RNAB vs treasurer, stated that this is the students in theBlue Gold Room of be purchased from a Freshman only sociology convention of its the Morris Inn tonight from 7 to 9, Advisory Council hall representa­ the family inn kind in the Midwest, entirely run featuring a cash bar. Twenty-one tive. The music for the formal will OFFERING A by students. Students of all majors IDs will be required. be provided by “Masquerade.” are invited to attend the convention Registration for the convention Refreshments are included in the ticket cost. $100 For more information, contact a hall representative or call Barb Parking guidelines formed (7414), Julie (8130), Art (1791), Holly (4-5282), or Rose (4-4801). by SMC Security office The formal is sponsored by the DISCOUNT Notre Dame - St. Mary’s Freshman ON ANY 14 - INCH PIZZA byMari be th Moran sides a monetary fine, students will Student Government. be assessed a number of points In an effort to clear up parking equal to the fine. difficulties at SMC, St. Mary’s If a student accumulates more Billiards semis Security has drawn up a list of than 30 points or six tickets she will parking guidelines to be effective be placed on probation. After being for the remaining six weeks of the placed on probation, any other on Sunday school year. parking or traffic voilation will The semi-finals of the 1977 St. Mary’s students are allowed result in suspension of parking Billards Tournament will be played COUPON ——— COUPON ——— to parkin the LeMans lot any time privileges for the rest of the Sunday at 7 p.m. Mike Wetter- except Monday through Thursday, sem ester. mark, a senior from Mobile AL, $1.00 off $.50 off 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Friday, 7 a.m. to When a student wants to park will play Steve Heimkreiter, a 11 p.m.: Saturday, noon to mid­ outside a hall, she must stop at sophomore from Cincinnate Oh. any any night; and Sunday, noon to 6 p.m. Securtiy to obtain a 15 minute pass. The winner of the semi-finals will During these times students are Any parking time over this will play Tom VanEck, a junior busi­ 14 inch Pizza 10 inch Pizza asked to park their cars in the result in a $5 fine and a 5 point ness major. The finals will be held McCandless parking lot on the far penalty. on Wednesday, April 6, at 7:30 713 E. Jefferson 713 E, Jefferson side of the campus. The complete list of SMC’s p.m . A new system of penalties went traffic rules and regulations will be All matches, held in the pool­ into effect March 21 for violation of published in a revised traffic room below the Huddle, are open limit 1 coupon per pizza limit 1 coupon per pizza these and other traffic rules. Be­ manual. to the student body. «: »' « » X * * * • »v> VS.* _4_ the observer Friday, April 1, 1977 Criminal justice seminar slated for Apr. A five-session criminal justice concern to the victims of crime. ’ ’ sem inar will be held on W ed. Snvder, a coordinator of the evenings from April 13 to May 11. seminar, added. “ In recognition of The programs will take place in the such citiz'-n potential, the 1977 council chambers on the 4th floor of Criminal Justice Seminar will con­ the County-City Building, from centrate on citizen action through 7:30 to 10 pm. volunteer associations. It is hoped The St. Joseph County AFL-CIO that the knowledge of such groups Council, St. Joseph County UAW- and their work with victims, perpe­ CAP Council, Junior League of trators, and the legislative at­ South Bend, Inc., the Labor Partic­ tempts at the system’s reform and ipation Committee of United Way effectiveness will not only minimize of St. Joseph County and the the failures but also make justice, United Religious Community of St. a viable commodity. ’’ Joseph County will sponsor the Topics for the five seminar seminar. programs are as follows: April 13, “Juveniles”; April 20, “Vice”; Registration fee iS $15.00 per April 27, “ Victims” ; May 4, “ Cor­ person or $2.50 for students and rections”; and May 11 “Citizen Mike Gassman presented gifts to his staff today after he turned over the SBP reins to Dave senior citizens. The seminar will Action” . be open to the general public. en (photo by Leo Hansen) Interested persons should contact STARTS TONIGHT! Howard W. Snyder, labor associate 6 6 MALL th 'eat T e T K " of United Way of St. Joseph County Women’s Night” held Doors Open 6 :00 PM at 232-8201. DOUBLE FEATURE: $2.00 The seminar sponsors stated, [continued from page 3] beings. “Essential to the success of the are “ caught in transition. There is Calling the discussion a “suc­ THERE MUST t h e BAWDY criminal justice system are the a problem with the male ego,” cess,” Jorgensen concluded that FOREVER DE 1 h e_ i. ADVENTURES OF on-going education of the public in Moore commented. “The men she hoped the meeting had helped A GUARDIAN crime prevention, informed citizen can’t accept emotionally what they alleviate some of the problems AT THE input into the system itself and expect rationally.” Moore conclud­ experienced by women. “ We got a scnpi J lT iin GATE FROM volunteer activities that reach into ed that although men are able to great response from faculty mem­ A UNIVERSAL PICTURE p D l ^ areas the system can’t. Those cope with women in a professional bers,” Jorgensen said. “And the HELL... TECHNICOLOR®^®® A MICHAEL WINNER FILM • J o n e s areas are at all levels of the situation, they seem to have trou­ informality was great. I think we’ve "THE SENTINEL- (and all NEW) g ® criminal justice system: the police, ble handling the way a professional heard some interesting and helpful the courts, corrections, juvenile woman handles herself on an things here tonight. ’ ’ CHRIS SARANDON • CRISTINA RAINES A UNIVERSAL RELEASE delinquency, community-based re­ emotional level. habilitation programs and victim Modern language professor Nan­ assistance. Only an educated cy D’Antunono stated that men From Ralph Bakshi, public can prevent crime, rehabili­ “ have to free themselves,” before tate its criminals and give care and they can accept women as human master of animation, comes an American Host epic fantasy in wondrous color. A vision of the world, 10 million years announces Eu in the future, where Wizards rule the American Youth Hostels, Inc., a graduate student at the University non-profit, outdoor, recreational/ of Buffalo. Hayes, who is also a educational, travel organization, member of the National AYH earth. And the powers of magic prevail has planned a six-week French Board of Directors, may be reached language hosteling trip through at 171 Winslow Ave., Buffalo, NY, over the forces of technology in the France, Switzerland and Luxem­ 14208, or by calling AC (716) bourg. The price for the trip is 885-8716. final battle for world supremacy. $1240, which includes air fare, lodging, all food and a qulaified Mud volleyball trip leader. Participants will attend French registration set language instruction classes for two hours a day during the month Students interested in participa­ spent in Paris. The group will have ting in this year’s Mud Volleyball most of each day in Paris free to Classic for An Tolstal should examine the city, with weekend organize into teams of six to eight side-trips to the Loire Valley and players. Games will begin April 3 Mont St. Michel planned. to determine the four teams who will compete in the semi-finals in The special language trip will the mud. leave New York on June 27 and Team captains can register by return on Aug. 9. The tip leader is calling John (3167), Dan (3117 or Diana Hayes, an attorney and a Paula (1313) today. English Dept,outl ND annual writ The University, in conjunction best original play-one act or with the Department of English, longer-$50.00 will be awarded. has announced the annual writing The Richard T. Sullivan Award competition, with prizes being for Fiction Writing. A prize of awarded for the best writing done $50.00 will be given to the Notre by students in poetry, playwriting, Dame undergraduate who writes fiction and essay. the best short story or chapter from The rules of the competition a novel. Only one submission per specifies that no entry may be student is allowed. submittedfor more than one com­ The Academy of American Poets petition. All entries must be typed, Prize. This category, open to any identified only by an attached card Notre Dame undergraduate or with author’s name and address. graduate student, will award Three copies of the written entry $100.00 for the best group of must be submitted to room 309 in poems. No more than five poems O’Shaughnessy Hall by 4p.m. on should be submitted, and the total W ednesday, Apr. 13, 1977, number of lines should not exceed 20TH CENTURY-FOX PRESENTS Each entry will be judged a- 200. The judges for the Hazo nonymously by faculty and mem­ Award will not judge this com­ A RALPH BAKSHI FILM petition. bers of the University. Winners of The Meehan Medal for Literary the awards will be announced near M erit. A medal will be awarded to PG MltKTHL s a u n a s* e$ T B « n > May 1. In early May, there will be [ sew mmw mi not * wtuu rot m tiowm the Notre Dame senior who sub­ a public reading of material from mits the best original essay on a the winning entries. subject of his or her own choice. The awards for writing are: The John T. Frederick Prize. A WBTOS The Samuel Hazo Poetry Award. prize of $30.00 plus an inscribed Color by De Luxe® SH0 WJIMES Each poet is asked to limit his entry plaque is given for the best essay to a maximum of five poems, the in liteyary criticism by, a Notre FINAL WEEK total number of lines not to exceed Dame undergraduate. 1:45-3:20-5:00- 200. The Notre Dame undergrad­ For more information about the FORUM CINEMA I uate who submits the best poetry writing competition, contact Pro­ SEE IT NOW 6:45-8:30-10:10 1 Mile North of NOTRE DAME on U.S. 31 North I .. v will receive an award of $50.00. fessor Donald Sniegowski, director Just South of NORTH VILLAGE MALL • (219) 277-1522 MATINEES DAILY The William Mitchell Award for of undergraduate studies in Eng­ Playwriting. For the Notre Dame lish, at 309 O’Shaughnessy Hall or undergraduate . who submits the by phone at 6618 or 7150, 1 Friday, April 1,1977 the observer 15 National East Regular season awaits conf'd-i [continued from page 16] is also trying to bounce back from a dismal season, Notre Dame with Bob Apodaca and vet Ray Sadecki. The only I and having to carry the load can’t help. The Cards The Note Dame baseball team expected to be on the mound for loss was in the retirement of veteran Mickey Lolich, have a lot of talent, but not enough balance to will attempt to open its regular the Irish Saturday. Wolfe pitched season tomorrow with a double- who pitched much better than his 8-13 mark contend. very well on the spring trip as he header at Toledo. The Irish were allowed only four earned runs in 17 indicated. MONTREAL—The Expos strengthened themselves scheduled to meet St. Joseph The Met offense is Dave Kingman. Sky King was a by signing Dave Cash to play second base, and | innings. He defeated Christian sure bet for 50 homers and 125 RBI’s until a hand acquiring Tony Perez to play first base. With Larry College and Northern Illinois last Brothers College 5-2 in the first injury sidelined him for 6 weeks. If he clears up his Parrish at third and Tim Foli, coming off his best year week, but the four contests were game of the season. Sholl hurled a contract problems and learns how to catch a fly ball, in the majors, at short, the Expos are set in the cancelled. At this time it is not shutout against the same team in he could be an All-Star this year. infield. known whether or not these games | his first appearance of the season. The rest of the Met outfield will consist of rookie Del Unser will probably anchor the outfield, but will be made up. The senior righthander is coming Lee Mazzilli in center, and near-rookie Mike Vail in watch for two youngsters to make the headlines this Dr. Tom Kelly’s club is currently i off an excellent fall in which he right. If Vail can hit like he did at the end of the 1975 year. One is Ellis Valentine, who hit .279 with 14 4-8 on the season after its spring threw three shutouts in three season, the Mets will be in good shape. stolen bases the second half of last year. Valentine trip to the South. The Irish showed I apprearance. John Milner will be the first baseman, his natural can fly and has a rifle for an arm. The other is Andre the effects of lack of outdoor I The Irish will have to improve at position, and Roy Staiger, a sure glove, will be at Dawson, who hit .350 in triple-A ball last year, and is practice on the southern journey. the plate if they are to better their third. In the middle, the Mets are hurting. Bud ibeginnign only his third year of pro ball. Most of the teams they played were record. As a team they only hit Harrelson and Felix Millan have lost at least one step 1 Gary Carter will be back behind the plate, looking in their 15th or 20th games. .247 on the trip after connecting at in the field and can no longer turn over the double to regain his Rookie of the Year from 1975. His Jim Sholl and Don Wolfe are a .288 figure last season. Soph­ play. i pitchers will be shaky. Steve Rogers and Don omore shortstop Ricky Pullano was The Mets do have a potential superstar in catcher : Stanhouse are the only starters, and Will McEnaney, Golfers triumph one of the bright spots, hitting .343 JohA Stearns, who will platoon with Jerry Grote this [who came from the Reds with Perez, is the only in the 12 contests. His on-base year. reliever. average was a shade under .500. If the Mets get more hitting than they expect, they The Expos are terribly short on pitching, but can The Notre Dame golf team Freshman Dan Voellinger was a could be darkhorse contenders, but don’t bet on it. field and eight-man squad good enough to keep them defeated Bradley University 373-385 'pleasant surprise as he connected ST.LOUIS-On paper, the Cards always look good, out of the cellar. yesterday at Burke Memorial Golf I for seven extra base hits and a but then they take the field and it’s a different story. CHICAGO-At the end of the 1976 season, the Cubs Course. team high 22 total bases in the This year will be no different as the new manager had the second worst pitching staff in baseball, but The Irish golfers were paced by southern contests. Vern Rapp takes over the helm from Red Schoen- they did have a two-time NL batting champ in Bill John Lundgren. The freshman Notre Dame will start a veteran dienst. Madlock, and one of the league’s premier center- standout, who won the Notre Dame team Saturday at Toledo. Jim The Cardinal strength is in the outfield where Lou fielders in Rick Monday. At the beginning of the 1977 Invitational this past fall, finished Abbatiello, a senior from Long Brock, 37 going on 45, is still entrenched in left field, season, the Cubs could have the worst pitching staff the day with a two-over-par 73. Island, New York will start at first. Bake McBride can be one of the top centerfielders in in baseball, and they don’t have Madlock or Monday, Dave Knee followed Lundgren Frank Fiascki, last season’s leading baseballl if he can avoid injuries. Hector Cruz, a third You would think P.K. Wrigley would get smart and with a 74, while Tim Saurs and hitter, will join Abbatiello on the baseman last year, Mike Anderson or newly-acquired find some pitchers. Instead he goes out and gets two Bob Belmonte each added a 75. right side of the infield. Pullano Joel Youngblood will play right. Jerry Humphrey will outfield platoons. Junior Captain Rich Knee posted a will start at shortstop and either be the backup in left or center. In the long run, the While th# Cubs field a minor league pitching staff, 76, giving the Irish their 373 total. Bob Cleary or Rick Greenwell will lack of arms on Brock and McBride will hurt the they can go with the A outfield of Jose Cardenal, Jerry Bradley was led by Jerry Young, man third base. Cards. Morales and Bobby Murcer, or the B squad of Greg who captured medal honors with a Captain Stan Bobowski, senior Ted Simmons will be trying to bounce back from an Gross, Joe Wallis and Gene Clines. With this outfield 72. Mike Galloway and junior Dave De off-year behind the plate, and the Cards acquired surplus, one would think that the Cubs would trade After yesterday’s performance, Facci should start in the outfield, Dave Rader from the Giants as a sub. In the infield, for somebody to go with Ray Burris and Bruce Sutter coach Noel O’Sullivan is looking but Bill Starr, who hit .364 on the Keith Hernandez came around in the second half of and masquerade as major-leogue pitchers. No, not forward to this weekend’ sschedule. spring trip, will see much action the season to become the regular first baseman. Mike the Cubs. This Saturday, the Irish play host to throughout the season. Tyson will be at second, with speedster Garry Instead, they’ll play Steve Ontiveros at third, which Detroit College, and on Sunday, Voellinger and senior Tim Pol­ Templeton at short, and reacquired Ken Reitz at means Cardenal is going to get plenty of action. And the Notre Dame golfers face Oak­ lock, who hit over .500 last fall, will third. It’s a good infield, but nothing to win pennants either George Mitterwald or Steve Swisher will catch land College. Both duel meets will alternate the catching and desig­ with. which means that Manny Trillo better wear shin- start at 1:30 p.m. Then on Monday, nated hitter duties. On the mound, the Cards and in trouble. John guard's at second base. the Irish battle AquinasCollege at 2 The Irish will open their home Denny, last year’s ERA champ, heads the starting The Cubs have so many weaknesses that it isn’t p.m. at Burk^ Memorial. schedule Tuesday, April 5 with a rotation which includes Bob Forsch, Pete Falcone and even funny anymore. They don’t have much of a past, The Irish golfers have one goal in doubleheader against Bethel newcomer Larry Dierker. There’s potential in no present, and not much of a future. But, if you like mind as they enter into action this beginning at 1:00p.m. Valparaiso Falcone, but nothing has been proven yet. , 18-16 baseball games, Wrigley Field is the place to weekend, to break the dual meet will travel to Kline Field the The bullpen is A1 Hrabosky with no help. Hrabosky | be. record of 359 set by the 1974 Notre following afternoon for a single Dame varsity. game at 3:00p.m.

t ■ NOTICES 4 bedrooms, furnished apartment within walking distance of campus. This is 'Be Nice to Mo Reynolds' By first Presidential Order, Walt Tickets for the Sunday, Spril 17 LED Call William Hill, 232-1724. week starting with this Personal. Ling is no longer welcome in Breen- ZEPPELIN concert at Market Classified That means you, too, Katie!!! Phillips Hall. Square Arena in Indianapolis and Summer apartment 2 bedroom, You're welcome, Mo. the Thursday April 14 RUSH and completely furnished including dish­ Lewis Hall presents Lewisio's to­ STARCASTLE concert at Ft. W ayne washer and air conditioning. Fully WANTED Goz Boz - Rem ember It's Friday! night. 7 :00 p.m. Come and enjoy it. I Coliseum are now on sale at JUST carpeted. In nice area within short So, don't eat eg g s!! Mobil FOR THE RECORD, 100 Center walk to ND. Contact Chris after 6:00 W anted: Ride to New Jersey on Dear Farrah, Are you really Mary Underground in Mishawaka. p.m .at 277-0953. Tuesday or W ednesday, April 5 or 6. Freshman Formal April 16th 9-1 Tobin? An April Fool Call Val 8125. a.m. ACC Concourse Room. For I Summ er Europe fare: from $287 to Rent my upstairs $40.00 per month. tickets and information, contact your Julia, let's talk about Maneria. The $379. Long and short suration flights Call 233-1329. Need ride to and from Miami for Freshman Hall Representative. Photo Man weekly departures available. Call Easter break. Can leave Wed. night. Henri, 287-1 198 anytime. Two bedroom house to rent. Sum­ I am desperate - call 1424 and ask Maureen, Mamie, and Mike, Jaybird, Spring has arrived, it's mer and or school year. 1012 Eddy for Bob. Thanks for everything. We put a lot time to fly north. Holy smoke me, MANAGEMENT WORK STUDY ' Street. $120 mo. plus utilities. Call of work into it. Pat w here have you been. Love, Muffs PROGRAM THIS SUMMER at Oddies Harris at 232-8563. Deseprately need ride to Wichita, Quanfico, Virginia, free transporta Kansas, for Easter. Diane 4-4348. UGLY MAN IS COMING. SAVE Hobbs, Happy Birthday, bearded tion, free room and board, free 5-bedroom house, real nice, large YOUR PENNIES! wonder. Go get blitzed and rape and books and uniforms, and $115.00 living room and kitchen, fully fur­ Need ride to and from Ft. Lauder­ plunder. Enjoy those whots you'll be per week. See the selection team in nished, close to campus, has burglar dale area for Easter break. Will help For Sale - '69 Buick Opel Kadett. takin', But you'll be sorry when you La Fortune Student Center, March alarm, call Charlie Moore 272-7180. with expenses. Please contact Cris Good condition. Dependable. Best awaken. NN 29 Spril 1, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. 4-4983 or Beth 4-4992. offer. 277-0352 after 5 p.m. Summer rental and or next aca­ To the four who topped our night I The annual $1.00 OFF AND FREE demic year. Great house. 8 rooms Wanted: Married student couple Feeling depressed? ND SMC Hot­ with wine, Hope your night is as PAPERS SALE in Tuesday April 5 at fully furnished. 4 bedrooms, 2 (one child okay) to live in, and be line 4-4311 open nights. great as was mine. THANKS xo I JUST FOR THE RECORD, 100 baths. Washer, dryer. Large lawn. companions to 3 teen-age boys. your future roomie Center Underground from 8:00 a.m. Near Jeff-Eddy. 234-1972. Room and board in exchange. My darling Schwantz - Oh, how I to midnight! No limit on albums plus Would be required to cook family miss you, Let me count the ways It's high time we got 324 cleaned! I free music and refreshments. Lost: Last week. Gold mechanical dinner, do light housework and do "All" ways, small ways, big ways, Thanks to all who helped blow away pencil. Probably on 2nd floor Library minor house repairs. Exchange re­ tall ways. Hurry up and tackle my the debris. D. Pits Sharon Maureen I Accurate, fast typing. Mrs. Donoho. or between there and Keenan. Call ferences. Call 288-141 1 or 291-1814. tickles before I atrophy. Love, Cleo 232-0746. Hours: 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. 3,408. Ask for Joan. TRIGS, I Letourns - Happy 22nd - Just think, Have a great time in Chicago, but EUROPE WORLDW IDE academic Available for fall semester: 2 ex­ W anted: Ride to Chicago this Satur­ 2 months from today you start school bring him back with you guaran- discounts year round S.A.T.A. 4228 cellent houses in fine neighbor day. Call Debbie 8125. again I Celebrate now or you're a ! teed no return. THE THREE LIT­ I First, Tucker, Ga. 30084 (800) hoods. Each ideal for 5-6 students. fool. S TLE CHUBS 241-9082 1021 DeMaude and 1016 Lincoln Riders needed. Girlfriend is driving I W ay W est. Call Mr. Gatto 234- from M J to ND on Mon,, April 11, KK, Have a good day & better nite. PH. ND Finance Club is bullish on 6688 . and returning to NJ Sun. April 17. W ash rag Who knows, maybe your number is America! Mock Stock Market 10-3 Call Dave 3408. up!!?? Old Bus. Bldg. Holmless - Congratulations! Now SS LOST 8, FOUND I ------——— ------Lewisio's tonight 7:00 p.m. Come FOR SALE that you have a position of re­ sponsibility will you maintain some? Oh, that's good!! for good food and good company. Found pair of glasses behind Eng­ (I think you know what I'm talking ineering Bldg. Call Mike at 8953. i '69 Camaro, rebuilt engine or '69 about!) Have a good time next year! Collier, MORRISSEY LOAN FUND Fiat Sport Spyder 288-2484. Just another campus resident I To the Bi-Afrian lame one. How's No more loans to May '77 grads. All Rewrad for 5 year old silver Seiko (Notra) the glue holding. others, last application date is April Watch lost in ACC before break. For sale: Vivitar 135 mm 1 :2.8 auto­ 6, last day to pick up loan is April 7. Much sentimental value. Larry 287- telephoto lens, with case. Seldom Agnes, Keep on " B " lining to ' line. 1 Chris Vaughan, Who's your ghost LaFrotune basement 11:15-12:15 8301 or return to Lost and Found. used. Call Chris 8208. All of the line enjoys your lines. I writer? We thought all amoebas M-F. $20 150, one day wait. One Desserts were functional illiterates. Water percent interest. Due in 30 days. Lost: Gold cross on a chain Thurs. | buffaloes have feelings, too. MAY'77 GRADS nite - probably in the bars. Reward. PERSONALS The Women in 142-May this week­ All Morrissey loans must be paid by Please call Tom - 1421. Attention girls: April 13. Marty, Rich, and Dillon's Finest end be as ecstatic as last yet less audible. Ears My formal calendar is filling up. Lost a silver m odem pen Friday Co., W hat we thought was a jam I This is your last chance to dang# Amtrak to St. Louis over Easter before break. Brand: "Aurora" If turned into a fracture. Payments are Murphy's Massage Parlor's Florida with Notre D ame's BEST D A N C E * break $33. Round trip. Forms in found please call Monica 7870. It's due the 1st of the month in care of Trip - Have 3rd anniversary. We Call Edward Justin Barry at 1 M Sfcjdent Activities, La Fortune. very import ante. Farrell Fawcett. love you all. The President and with name of formal, date, and s H Secretary 1 color you would like m e to wear. Act Use the random walk theory and Lost: Brown and white knitted cap Happy B day Decelia from rascal, 1 Now! invest. Anyone can win! Mock Stock which can be pulled down into a ski friar, & craig. Market. mask. Lost somewhere on the Hurry! Sale at Leather Banana ends ND SMC shuttle bus, Tuesday, Attention: NJ and NY residents - , Nanook of the North - 22 tomorrow - April 6. Call 259-1060 for info. Faculty or staff wanting to sublet March 22. This cap has great round trip bus available to NYC for what an old lady! Hope your day is home or apartment during extended sentimental value. If found, please Easter. Appx. $35. Info - call I happy, a former roommate M ary Beth, leave. Contact University Profes­ call 1398. 287-9453 ND Lacrosse Club. Congratulations!! Good luck Safur sional at 237-4421, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. I Kansas Kid, Happy 22nd! April •day. I'll want to see yoi*on TV next Lost: Leninger's Biochem book on Dear Munich, My room has a great Fool's Day is an appropriate oirth- year!! Boston 2nd floor Library. DESPERATELY view of the Dome. W hy don't you day. Be in a good mood! love 9 FOR RENT need it! Please call Diane 1329. come up and visit m e? MBA kisses, T, J, & L . Dear Kimberlie G., I have been preparing and I'm now Rooms for rent this summer. Very Texas Instruments SR 51-11 calcul­ To the Puzzling Personal Person, Be yourself for a change. Gay I fully organ ized for tonight's formal reasonable, and just a few blocks ator lost in Freshman Chem Lab. who are you?!? Don't you think this Community of Notre Dame. Phone festivities. With all heart and body 8870, Sat. 10-12. from Notre Dame. Phone 277-3604. Substantial reward for return. No secret has gone on long enough? I ’ Andy B. questions asked. Call Mike 8327. hope to hear from you soon. .CH

■»-T 16 the observer Friday, April 1, 1977 DeCicco - the extraordinary coach

by Bob Keen the creation of this position at a Sports Writer time when it had been discovered that many colleges and universities ■ were not providing their atheletes Professor, Advisor, Coach; in­ with adequate educations. “ It was dividually none of these terms can not so much that these same adequately describe Michael A. problems were prevelant at Notre DeCicco. Rather it is this unique Dame,” emphasized DeCicco, combination which rank him as one “but rather that Father Joyce has of the most versatile and influential always had a knack of anticipating members of the Notre Dame com­ problems before they develop.” munity. Although DeCicco’s success has Last weekend while all eyes been unparalelled in Notre Dame were focused on the NCAA Basket­ fencing history, next season his ball Tournament in Atlanta, the squad will face the additional Notre Dame fencing team, coached pressure which the title “defend­ by DeCicco, won its first NCAA ing champion” always brings. Championship. In addition to this Only senior epee specialist Tim feat Notre Dame completed its Glass will be lost from what second undefeated season and DeCicco states is “the best team extended their regular season un­ % I’ve ever coached.” “However, I beaten streak to 67 matches. In did not expect that we would win recognition of this outstanding the national championship this year achievement, Head Coach DeCicco because we lost it with comparable was named NCAA “Coach of the talent last year,” stated DeCicco. Year.” '“We’ve got to be rated as one of Although obviously pleased with the favorites, but no one backs into his team’s accomplishment, he was a championship.” quick to criticize the tournament’s Certainly, DeCicco will be hard format. “The present structure pressed to repeat this year’s per­ places a premium on individual Mike DeCicco plays an important role in the lives of many ND students as professor, advisor and formance. Yet while interviewing superstars detracting from the (photo by Mike Kron) coach. him one realizes that he can only be team concept which is promoted to be matched. One and Two for architecture eight years. Since that time he has satisfied with perfection, whether it throughout the regular season,” After recieving his Ph.D., De­ students in Mechanical Engin- compiled an incredible record of be in the gym, office or classroom. stated DeCicco. He plans to Cicco worked for the Kelmore sering. 291 wins while only suffering 32 Indeed, DeCicco more than ad­ propose a new revitalized format, Engineering Company in Newark, DeCicco’s present position is defeats. Maybe his most impres­ equately fills the roles which one similar to that of the NCAA New Jersey. During the summer of that of Assistant Professor of sive achievement pertains to the might normally assume would be basketball tournament, to the 1954, he visited Notre Dame for Aerospace and Mechanical Engin­ fact that during his fifteen year occuppied by three separate in­ NCAA Rules Committee within the nostalgia sake. eering. “My teaching is of the coaching career the fencing team dividuals, but then Mike DeCicco is near future. Carl Schoenherr, Dean of the most importance to me since my has never had a losing season. no ordinary inidividual. The Notre Dame fencing pro­ College of Engineering at the time, students have it within their power In 1963 DeCicco was chosen to gram has changed drastically since encouraged DeCicco to return to to greatly affect the world in which fill a newly created position, Registration set 1947 when DeCicco, then a soph­ the golden dome and teach. He we live,” DeCicco emphasized. Academic Advisor to Student Ath­ omore, participated in his first accepted the offer and returned to “After all fencing is still just a letes. “The athletic and academic college bout. During the next three teach courses dealing with his gam e.” burdens of a university such as for girls h-ball years DeCicco, as a foil fencer, specialty, heat transfer and engin­ DeCicco was appointed head Notre Dame often create problems compiled a 45-4 record and a .918 eering. Today, he teaches a course coach of the fencing team in 1962 for the student athlete,” DeCicco To register for the Jocks vs. Girls winning percentage which has yet entitled Environmental Synthesis after serving as assistant coach of stated. “ I work directly with the Tournament contact Patti Coogan Deans of all the colleges to prepare at 6883. Ten girls are allowed per Ted Robinson an academic program which will team, with a maximum of three allow the athlete to both earn a club or varsity players per team. degree and continue his athletic All St. M ary’s and Notre Dame participation.” girls are eligible for competition. National East Father Joyce was responsible for Deadline for registration is April 6. Pirates? Frank LaGrotta Five years ago, the National League East was the Jackson, who came from the Yankees by way of strongest division in baseball, but things have Seattle, was 6-0 with a 1.68 ERA for the Bronx changed quite a bit since then. Poor management in Bombers. In return for Zisk, the Buccos got Rich McGuire New York, Chicago and St. Louis has transformed Gossage, 1975’s best reliever, and Terry Forster, who contenders into examples of mediocrity. Age has had a promising career interrupted by arm problems. Last Hurrah slowly crept into the lunber machine employed by the The Pirates’lineup is so strong that Bill Robinson, a Last Monday evening at the Omni in Atlanta, the great god of the Pittsburgh Pirates, and transformed them into a .303 hitter with 21 homers, can’t get off the bench. hardwood floor showed himself to be somewhat of a sentimentalist as running team. So, the Philadelphia Phillies took Find him a catcher’s mitt. he sent the Marquette Warriors back to Milwaukee with a 67-59 victory advantage of some key interleague trading, and good PHILADELPHIA-The Phillies got a lot of mileage over the favored Tar Heels of North Carolina, along with the first years out of retreads to capture the division crown last out of some washed-up players last year, and it’s NCAA championship in their illustrious history. The game itself was by year. However, they have a long road to haul this highly doubtful they can repeat it. Their whole no means a good one, yet there was a sense of poetic justice to it for it year. In fact, this division could provide the closest pitching staff is a question mark, as is the right side of • was a fitting end to the career of college basketball’s most colorful race in the majors with as many as four teams battling their infield with the departure of Dave Cash and Dick coach, A1 McGuire. it out down the stretch. The eventual winner will be Allen. Throughout his long career, which spanned 26 seasons and included the team that gets the most mileage out of their Jim Kaat is now 38, Jim Lonborg is 34, Ron Reed is over 500 games, McGuire was dealt much criticism by both fans and question-mark players, and the Pirates seem to be the 34, Tug McGraw and Steve Carlton are 33. All except media for his exagerated floor behavior and sideline antics. The best bet for that. Carlton are past their prime, and Kaat and Lonborg Marquette coach himself admitted that his assistants handled the X’s PITTSBURGH-New manager Chuck Tanner has to have been particularly inconsistent in the past. The and O’s of the game and he was “ in charge of the entertainment.” For feel wanted. After all, how many teams would trade real youth on the staff is Larry Christensen, and this he was Iableed a “ sideshow” and, at times, a “crybaby,” by those an all-star catcher, Manny Sanguillen, for a manager inconsistency has also been his problem. who didn’t understand the intent of college basketball (or any other who has had winning teams in the majors only twice. Some relief to the problem could come in the form spectator sport for that matter). Yet, there’s little doubt that Tanner will have a winner if rookie Randy Lerch, 13-11 in Oklahoma City last Buried beneath all the talk about “building sportsmanship” and this year, and probably the division winner. year. If not, the pressure on the Phillie hitters will be “establishing a good reputation for the school” is one of the most A slow transformation began on the Pirates last greater than ever. important, yet least-admitted reasons that basketball games, football year, as age began to show its effects on the bats of This team will go as far as their solid hitting outfield games, tournaments and bowl games are played, to attract paying Willie Stargell and Sanguillen. Speedy shortstop of Greg Luzinski, Garry Maddox, and Jay Johnstone customers. Now that statement may invite criticism, but before yelling Frank Taveras introduced base-stealing to Three will take them. Maddox should get an award for “ skeptic,” look realistically at the situation. Rivers Stadium as he swiped 58 bases, including 27 in having the courage to play the outfield between the If people did not but tickets to athletic events of watch them on a row. other two. television, there simply wouldn’t be any games to buy tickets to or Indications are that the trend towards speed will Throw the league home-run king, Mike Schmidt watch on tlelvision because there wouldn’t be any money available for continue this year as the Pirates are counting heavily into the picture at third base, and the Phillies can hit things like uniforms, coaches’ salaries, travel expenses, etc. (Try to on a 24 year-old rookie outfielder named Omar with anybody. But free agent signee Richie Hebner have a football game if the visiting team can’t afford the visit.) Thus, Moreno to take over the centsrfield Spot. The Pirates will have to reincarnate his bat at first base, and the in an enterprise where the lifeblood of its’ existence is public support, think so highly of Moreno that they traded Richie Zisk Phils will pray to find a second baseman. Dave it is to the advantage of the participants to make sure that those people to the White Sox and moved A1 Oliver to left field. In Johnson, back from a two-year hiatus in Japan, and who buy tickets (and ultimately pay the bills) are entertained. A1 48 games last year, Moreno hit .270 and stole 15 Ted Sizemore will battle it out for the starting berth. McGuire was, by his own admission, an entertainer. bases. With Oliver (.323 last year) in left and Dave Johnson wtill holds the major league record for However, to satisfy the basketball purist it would be wise to mention Parker (.313) in right, the Pirates may have one of the homers in a season by a second baseman with 43, but that in spite of A1 McGuire’s obvious penchant for entertaining, he was best outfields in the NL. his best years are behind him. an extremely good basketball coach as well. His career record of 404 In the infield, the Bucs are set up the middle with Bob Boone will handle the catching ?nd Larry Bowa victories to only 144 defeats bespeaks the fact that McGuire could do Rennie Stennett at second and Taveras at short. The Jie shortstop chores, and the Phillies have a good the job he was paid to do, win basketball games. 36 year-old Stargell, rescued from Charlie Finley bench, but the Pirates have too many good arms. A.E. Housman’s poem, “To An Athlete Dying Young,” tells the player-development farm in Oakland. Garner has NEW YORK After all these years, you would think story of a young runner who dies at the height of his career. The fourth played second in his three major league seasons, but the Mets would find some bats. But then you read stanza reads: the Pirates are confident he can switch to third that GM Joe McDonald was arrested for drunk Now you will not swell the rout smoothly. A .261 bat with 74 RBI’s last year won’t driving, and you wonder L he was in that condition Of lads who wore their honors out, hurt. when he traded away Amos Otis, Rusty Staub, and Runners whom reknown outran The biggest weakness in the Pirate lineup will be Ken Singleton among others. And the.name died before the man. behind the plate where Duffy Dyer will get the job out The Mets have the best pitcher in baseball, Tom A1 McGuire did what everyone of us dreams of; he went out a of default. Dyer has never played 100 games in a Sfeaveri and the best staff in the majors (2.94 ERA Winner. Monday night’s game was a storybook ending to the career of season, and has a lifetime average of .220. Watch for last year), but can’t score enough runs to win. Jerry one of the truly “class” guys in the athletic world. After the game another trade. Koosman and Jon Matlack will be joined by Craig someone wrote that Marquette really couldn’t compete with North John Canderlaria, perhaps the best young pitcher Swan and rookie Jackson Todd for one of top starting Carolina as far as sheer talent goes and that is probably true. The in the game, Jerry Reuss, Bruce Kison, Jim Rooker rotations in baseball. Skip Lockwood, one of the most column went on to say that Marquette won that game because thay and Larry Demery provide a more-than-adequete underrated relievers in the league, heads the bullpen “wanted to give McGuire a going-away present.” That, to me, is the starting rotation. Meanwhile, the Pirates went to the greatest honor a coach could receive. | (continued on page 15] ALtofindbulipen^Jielg^o^Cent^ekulve^^ran^ A1 McGuire went out a winner. . .but, then agian, he always was. — " ■ " mi i