4 Eating Together: Planning for Meals, Kiddush and Holidays

4 Eating together: planning for meals, kiddush and holidays When we eat together, we can connect on many different levels. We connect to the food, and if you have the chance to serve food from a local farm or a producer you know, then the stories of the people and the land that grew the food can be just as nourishing as the food itself. We connect to each other around a table, too; food gives us the chance to have longer conversations with folks we may regularly just see in passing. And we have the chance to learn and celebrate together, in a long chain of Jewish tradition. Planning communal meals can be complicated by people’s busy schedules, institutional kashrut polices, space and time challenges, and so on. The tips in this section will help you navigate some of these challenges and help you create a memorable feast—whether the occasion is simply bringing your community together, giving your weekly kiddush table a sustainable-upgrade, or planning for big holidays like Rosh Hashana and Passover. 26 Advance Planning Sourcing your food There are a number of different questions Use the tips in Chapter 1 to help you decide you want to ask when you’re contemplating a what food to serve. Remember, you may not be communal meal: able to serve a 100% kosher sustainable meal. Rather, aim for choosing elements that really • How many people am I expecting? What stand out, and making sure that people notice is the ideal number for achieving my goals them. Signs on tables or an announcement (intimate conversation, bringing the whole to point out the local flower centerpieces, the community together, etc.). Will this be donated chocolate from a sustainable chocolate kid-friendly or geared more towards adults company, or the seasonal fruits on the fruit (hint: a 40-min speech by a guest speaker, platter will start to educate your community not so kid-friendly). Be clear about your about the available options. expectations to your guests. • Should we use the institution kitchen/social Planning moments for connection hall? (You may wish to explore this option if kashrut is an issue, if you’re expecting a lot of guests, or if you don’t wish to A good meal has a good start and a good open up your home. Other advantages ending. People should feel welcomed and include guests feeling comfortable in a included. They should understand that there is familiar space, access to large-scale kitchen a focus to your meal, and know what that focus equipment, janitorial staff (though you is. Here are some suggestions for bringing should confirm that they will be available to help you) • Or maybe a picnic in a park? The obvious So we can all eat together challenge to this option is weather; a park Communal meals pose some challenge for with a covered picnic location is a great folks with strict dietary concerns, whether this way to ensure success regardless of the is kashrut, allergies or other food choices. Here elements. If you do plan an outdoor event, are some suggestions to help guests navigate consider: can everyone find the location? the options with grace: do you need a permit for a large gathering? • Have labels and pens available, and Will other activities in the park contribute to encourage guests to write out ingredient or hinder the atmosphere you’re trying to lists to label their dishes. You may wish create? to have them indicate the kind of kitchen where the food was prepared (kosher, • Hosting at home? Great for smaller vegetarian, prepared on Shabat, etc.) gatherings and building community. • Set aside one table for kosher food, one Navigating kashrut concerns can be a table for vegetarian food, one table for challenge. See the note below with some everything else. suggestions for helping to make all your • Have a conversation with your guests guests feel comfortable. ahead of time to find out about special dietary needs. Let them know what you expect to be able to accomodate, and where they may wish to simply bring their own food. 27 mindfulness to your meal: • Opening Circle: An opening circle lets people get a sense of who they are going • Food Blessings - Jews have been saying to be eating with. It lets them share a blessings over food for over 2000 years. piece of themselves that may not come The very fact of pausing before a meal to up in ordinary dinner chit-chat, which offer thanks can be a profound moment helps deepen relationships. It helps to of connection--with the people that grew focus the group on a particular question and produced and cooked the food, with that will be discussed during the evening the people around your table, with God learning. And it lets everyone be heard. and with creation. Jewish food blessings People might already be chatting in small offer an accessible entry point into Jewish groups, so gently ask for everyone to quiet tradition, but if the traditional wordings down, introduce yourself and explain what are a challenge, consider inviting people is going to happen first, then pose the to articulate their own blessings, or offer question, then indicate a person to start. a kavanah (intention) before the meal in • Learn some texts together: On the next addition to saying traditional blessings. page, we’ve included some of the texts from Food For Thought: Hazon’s Sourcebook on Jews, Food and Contemporary Life to help you think about your relationship to food Setting a Kavanah and Jewish tradition. You may want to use these texts as a conversation starter at a In the Jewish tradition, intention or communal meal. kavanah is an essential part of meaningful action. The term kavanah comes from the TIPS FOR HOSTING A SUSTAINABLE MEAL Hebrew root meaning to direct, intend, AT YOUR INSTITUTION: focus. The Rabbis were very clear that living a meaningful Jewish life involves • Pick one part of your meal to source from combining both the actions we do and the local food producers, and tell your guests intention we bring to those actions. about it (ie, your desert course could be all local berries or fruit, or Fair Trade chocolate). For example, the Rabbis stressed that prayer was not just about the act of reading • Buy from companies listed in the Producers or saying the words of a prayer. If you do Guide, and highlight their company values not pray with kavanah, actively thinking on menu cards or in a program. about the words you were saying, you have not fulfilled your obligation to pray. • Serve grass-fed meat. If sustainably- produced meat isn’t available, make your Applying this idea to eating will allow us meal vegetarian, and tell your guests why. to be much more aware of what we are putting in our mouths. It is important that • Plan for thoughtfulness: hold an opening we eat with intention and appreciate all the circle, set a kavanah, have discussion work that went into the meal–from nature, questions prepared for every table, hold a farmers, the farm workers, and whoever guided food meditation and/or say a grace was responsible for cooking the meal. after meals together. Adapted from “Intention (Kavanah) and • Use reusable, recycled or compostable Time” by Rabbi Jeffery Summit, Tufts Hillel plates and silverware. 28 Texts on Food and Mindfulness to eat the tangerine section you’ve already taken.” Jim was startled into realizing what he was doing. Seeing again, for the first time It was as if he hadn’t been eating the tangerine at Because we eat two, three or four times every day, all. If he had been eating anything, he was “eating” it’s easy to forget how wondrous that is. It’s like his future plans. the sunrise or the sunset. The sun rises and sets every day. If it’s an especially beautiful sunrise, we A tangerine has sections. If you can eat just one may notice it. But if it’s not “special” we may not section, you can probably eat the entire tangerine. even see it. But if you can’t eat a single section, you cannot eat the tangerine. Jim understood. He slowly But if we can see it as if for the first time, each put his hand down and focused on the presence sunrise becomes very special and very beautiful. of the slice already in his mouth. He chewed it And so with each meal we create. thoughtfully before reaching down and taking another section. – Bernard Glassman, Instructions to the Cook – Thich Nhat Hanh, Miracle of Mindfulness Radical Amazement As civilization advances, the sense of wonder Gratitude means noticing declines. Such decline is an alarming symptom of Why is eating a vegetable one of the steps to our state of mind. Mankind will not perish for want freedom? Because gratitude is liberating. And of information; but only for want of appreciation. how do we get there? We focus on the details. The beginning of our happiness lies in the understanding that life without wonder is not Close your eyes: You are holding a piece of parsley, worth living. What we lack is not a will to believe which you are about to dip into salt water. But but a will to wonder. before that – what things needed to happen to get this parsley into our hands? Who placed Radical amazement has a wider scope than any the parsley seeds into the ground? What sort of other act of man. While any act of perception or conditions did it grow in? Was it a hot summer? cognition has as its object a selected segment of What did the soil feel like? How was the parsley reality, radical amazement refers to all of reality; harvested? What did it look like at that perfect not only to what we see, but also to the very act of moment when it was mature and ready to be seeing as well as to our own selves, to the selves picked? Who picked it? Where did the parsley that see and are amazed at their ability to see.

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