isexual youth face a unique set of challenges that affect their ability to flourish in their families, schools and communities. Produced in Bpartnership with BiNet USA, Bisexual Organizing Project and the , this new report Supporting and Caring for our Bisexual Youth helps paint a clearer picture of the lived experiences of bisexual youth. Learning more about these youth will allow parents, caregivers, social workers, teachers and other youth-serving professionals to more effectively nurture and WHO ARE guide them toward successful and happy futures.

YOUTH 1 SUPPORTING AND CARING FOR OUR This report draws on results from the Human Rights Campaign Foundation’s BISEXUAL BISEXUAL 2012 groundbreaking survey of more than 10,000 LGBT youth, ages 13 – 17, ThisFINDINGS report is available electronically at: in the United States. This report focuses on the nearly 40 percent of survey AFTER SCHOOL ACTIVITIES 7% YOUTH?HRC.ORG/BI-YOUTHHOME & FAMILY participantsPERSONAL“I who WISH identifiedTHAT MORE PEOPLE as bisexual. INSIDE “WHEN I TELL MALES ABOUT PHYSICAL THE GAY COMMUNITY ITSELF WOULD MY SEXUALITY, I GET MANY FINDINGSSUPPORT MY DECISION TO CALL MYSELF BISEXUAL.A I much AM NOT smaller BEING percent SELFISH. of I REMARKS LIKE ‘THAT’S SO HOT’, ACCEPTANCE AM NOT A LIAR.bisexual I AM youth NOT reported GAY. I AM being NOT WHICHPERSONAL I FEEL FETISHIZES MY physicalySTRAIGHT. assaulted I AM BISEXUAL frequently .” .” “I’m afraid they Youth were asked to rate their WELL-BEINGor often at school (7 percent) Who Are Bisexuals? Findings“I CAME OUT TO MY FAMILY5 percent AND will no longer love level of acceptance within The activities with the highest and outside of school ( ). “I’M TIRED OF BEING participation rates for all surveyTHEY DIDN’T BELIEVE ME.” me the minute I their community, family, peer TOLD IT’S A PHASE.” group and schools. In several respondents were the after- While the rates of harassment WELL-BEING tell them.” areas, bisexual youth reported school“I WOULD activities such LIKE as drama, THE PRESSUREthat bisexual youth TO reported slightly less acceptance than debate, band or academic clubs. both in school and outside of “I’VE HAD PEOPLE Many bisexual adults have embraced the definition TELL ME THAT MY In simplest terms, a bisexual person is someonetheir who can be and attracted gay peers. The same is true for bisexual, school were comparable to FAMILY ACCEPTANCE OF LIFE IS WORTHLESS to moreproposed than one gender;by longtime but adults bisexual and youth leader, Thewho most identify national pronounced as bisex differ- - pansexual, queer and the “other” those reported by lesbian and BECAUSE I’M ual sometimesBISEXUAL describe themselvesYOUTH differently. Many bisexual adults BISEXUAL, AND THAT speaker and award-winning activistence Robyn was in Ochs:the level of accep- bisexual-identified youth. More gay youth, the open-ended I’M NOTHING.” have embraced the definition proposed by longtimetance amongbisexual their leader, families. than one third of these youth responses revealed that bisex- The surveyNOT findings demonstrate that This‘PICK lack of support is reflected A SIDE’ national speaker and award-winning activist Robyn Ochs: reported participating in these ual teen girls reported TO STOP. IT’S VERY FRUSTRATING.” APPLICABLE in the ways that bisexual youth “BEING GAY IS bisexualNOT youth struggle withSlightly manymore than of a quarter the activities“THE “very ONE often.” TIME I BROUGHTbeing subjected to sexual AT ALL VERY ACCEPTING UNDERSTOOD rated theirTHE happiness ISSUE and UPtheir WITHharassment MY related to their “I TRIED COMING OUT TO “AS A BISEXUAL, I “I callsameACCEPTING myself issues facedbisexual by their(27 percent lesbian) of bisexual and IN MY FAMILY, MY MOTHER, BUT SHE optimism aboutMOM, the SHEfuture. SAID bisexual THAT identities. I BUT BEING 7% youth reported that their ThisEXCLUSION lack of support is reflected ADAMANTLY CLAIMED FEEL SHUNNED ThegayI acknowledge surveypeers around findings coming that demonstrate out,I have bullying that and BISEXUAL IS THAT YOU COULD ONLY 27% families were “very accepting” AND HARASSMENTWOULD GROW OUT OFSTRAIGHT IT, 21%NOT.” BISEXUAL 5% BY THE GAY 17% in the ways that bisexual youth VERY HAPPY VERY HAPPY BE GAY OR STRAIGHT AND bisexualinharassment, myself youth the struggle and potential family with comparedand many to community tobe 33 of percent the of AND THENHAPPINESS IGNORED“I have IT.” guys ask me THAT CARINGTHERE WAS NO ADULTS AND LESBIAN lesbian and gay youth. Queer rated their happiness and their IN-BETWEEN.” HAVE AN sameacceptance, issues as faced well byas theiradditional lesbian challenges and ifThey they“MY reported PARENTScan watchmuch AREN’T lower levels COMMUNITY.”ADULT TO attracted – romantically optimism about the future. TALK TO youth, however, had the high- “I FEEL LIKE IF I WERE HOMOPHOBIC, BUT, WHEN unique20% to their bisexual identities. TO COME OUT AS ofme happiness, with a girl.and were I less "MY MOTHER SAID: gayand/or peers aroundsexually coming – to out,peopleest rates bullying of family of acceptance and STRAIGHTIT COMES 21% TO ME,BISEXUAL THEY 5% HAPPINESS CARING ADULTS 29% BISEXUAL, PEOPLE AREN’Toptimistic ACCEPTING about their AT ALL. potential ‘YOU’RE SAYING YOU’RE44% HAVE AN harassment,Throughout and this family section and withwe community36 compare percent saying the that WOULD JUST THINK getVERY inappropriately HAPPY VERY HAPPY BISEXUAL ADULT TO more than one sex THEY SAY I CAN’T BE BI. TALK TO NOT VERY SOMEWHAT their families were “very for achieving their ambitions BISEXUAL, WHAT IS THAT?! experiences of bisexual youth with their Nearly 1 in 4 bisexualI’M youth A SLUT.” touched.” acceptance,and/orACCEPTING gender, as well asnotACCEPTING additional necessarilyaccepting.” challenges Bisexual youth were much Theyincluding reportedI HAVE establishing much TO lower life-long levels * (24 percent) reported5% fre - 5% 4% 8% 21% ISN’T REAL.’” 54% 44% uniquestraight to theirand lesbianbisexual and identities. gay peers. less likely to be outBISEXUAL to their PANSEXUALofromantic happiness, QUEER relationships, andLESBIAN were attendlessSTRAIGHT - LESBIAN/GAY BISEXUAL at the same time, not quently or often being excluded & OTHER“People BE GAY call me &OR GAY “THEY JUST THINK I’M families, friends, peers, and BISEXUALoptimisticing college about and having their successpotential- Throughoutnecessarily this in section the same we compare way, the by their peers because they a whoreSTRAIGHT because .” CONFUSED.” “Though my parents are accepting communities. forful achievingcareers. their ambitions 5% 5% 4% 8% 21% 54% are12 different. Thirty-twoAcross the board, LGBT youth report troublingly low 13 LESBIAN/GAY experiences of bisexual youth with their I’m bi.” BISEXUAL PANSEXUAL QUEER LESBIAN STRAIGHT and nottowards necessarily gays andNOT AWARE , to OF the my mom Bisexualpercent youth of the were pansexuallevels much of happinessincluding. Only 5 percent establishing of bisexual life-long youth Only 44 percent& OTHERof bisexual youth responded& GAY that there was an * PEOPLE AND BISEXUAL NO straightsame and lesbian degree.”INSTITUTIONS and gay THAT peers. youth reported thereported same – beingin “very happy.” Five percent of the pansexual adult in their family they could turn to if they were sad compared toldNOT me AWARE she thought bisexualSUPPORTIVE people lessWhile likely all youthto be whoout toidentify their as LGBTromantic have distinct relationships, issues and attend - COULD HELP THEM fact, pansexual youthand reportedthe “other” bisexual youth also said they were “very happy” Acrossto slightly the more board, than halfLGBT (54 youth percent report) of lesbian troublingly and gay low youth. shouldOF SAFE–Robyn just make Ochs up their minds.ADULT That families, friends, peers, and ing college and having success- SPACES concerns,slightly higher it is levelsclearand ofthat only exclu bisexual4 percent- youth of queer-identified have needs youth that said are the unique, same. This levelsOnly 56 of percent happiness of bisexual. Only 5 youth percent knew of such bisexual a trusted youth adult Only 44 percent of bisexual youth responded that there was an communities. 8 percentful careers. made me unsure of whether or not I duesion to and myths, harassment stereotypes,is compared in several and to stigma surrounding of lesbian and bisexuality.gay youth surveyed reportedoutside of being their “very families, happy.” much Five less percent than the of 65 the percent pansexual of les- adult in their family they could turn to if they were sad compared 2 FAMILY NOT AWARE OF who characterized themselves as “very happy.” More than four bian and gay youth who reported knowing a caring adult outside could tell them.” NO ONE TO Interestingly,areas including many exclusion of these by findings mirror the challenges facing and the “other” bisexual youth also said they were “very happy” to slightly more than half (54 percent) of lesbian and gay youth. ACCEPTANCE PEOPLE ANDNOT AWARE 76% NO times as many straight youth than bisexual youth (21 percent) andtheir only families. 4 percent of queer-identified youth said the same. This Only 56 percent of bisexual youth knew such a trusted adult INSTITUTIONS OFTHAT STATE TURN TO transgenderpeers and being and called other names gender-expansive A Williams youth,Institute which study are explored NOT AWARE SUPPORTIVEFOR HELP While all youth whoreported identify they as were LGBT “very have happy.” distinct issues and ACCESS COULD HELPGOVERNMENT, THEM is compared to 8 percent of lesbian and gay youth surveyed outside of their families, much less than the 65 percent of les- OF SAFE ADULT involving anti-gay slurs. shows that most people who TO SOCIAL DOCTORS, concerns,in an earlier it is report clear thaton the bisexual almost youth 1000 transgenderhave needs thatand otherare unique, who characterized themselves as “very happy.” More than four bian and gay youth who reported knowing a caring adult outside SPACESSUPPORT 7 OR LOCAL gender-expansive youth in the surveyidentify ( as bisexual are women; ). 21 percent SYSTEMS due to myths, stereotypes, and stigma surroundingwww.hrc.org/youth-gender bisexuality. times as many straight youth than bisexual youth ( ) their families. BUSINESSES similarly, 76 percent of the A LookSCHOOL at the BisexualACCEPTANCE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL reportedSENSE they were OF “very BELONGING happy.” FAMILY NO ONE TO Interestingly, many of these findings mirror the challenges facing ACCEPTANCE NOT AWARE bisexual youth in this survey are OF STATE TURN TO transgender and other gender-expansivefemale, and youth, many whichof them are are explored ACCESS FOR HELP DOMESTIC VIOLENCEFifty-six percent of SurveyAND Participants PEERSGOVERNMENT, being sexually harassed. A LOOK AT THE BISEXUALTO SOCIAL in an earlier report bisexualon the youthalmost ANXIETY“strongly” 1000 transgender and other DRUGS AND ALCOHOL SENSE OF BELONGING DOCTORS, 29% Broadly speaking, bisexual youth reported lower levels than their SUPPORT OR LOCAL VERBALor “somewhat” agreed SYSTEMS ACCEPTANCE gender-expansive youth in the survey (www.hrc.org/youth-gender). gay and lesbian peers of family acceptanceBUSINESSES and knowledge of that they have experi- SUICIDE “When I make ACCEPTANCE Twenty-ninePOVERTY percent of “I’ve been pushed Fifty-six percent of SURVEY PARTICIPANTSand access to social support systems. Another noteworthy way bisexual youth reportedmented being with alcohol and bisexual youth “strongly” drugs, a rate slightly Only 1 in 10 bisexual youth (10 percent) reported feeling like in which bisexualnew friends, youth participants I let differ from their lesbian frequently or oftenBISEXUAL verbally in ADULTS the hall, called or “somewhat” agreed DOMESTIC VIOLENCEhigher than lesbian and thatthey they“definitely have experi fit in” -in their community. For the pansexual youth The charts on the next page show gender, race, school level FEMALEand gay peersthem is in theirknow awareness thatMALE of people and institutions harassedPOOR and calledGENERAL names HEALTH ANXIETY‘dirty homo’ and Broadly speaking, bisexual youth reported lower levels than their gay youth (50 percentSEXUAL) ASSAULT mentedthis figure with was alcohol just 4 percentand . Queer youth reported the highest and living area breakdowns for each of the four groups of youth that could helpI’m them bisexual. through theirIf journey to self-acceptance. at school. and more than twice‘dyke,’ been told percentage who believed that their community is getting “much” or 1 in 10 10 percent gay and lesbian peers of family acceptance and knowledge of SUICIDE drugs, a rate slightly Only bisexual youth ( ) reported feeling like discussed in this report. When reviewing the demographics of the Bisexual youththey were accept much less me, likely to be aware of safe spaces POVERTYas high as straightthat I’m going to higher“somewhat” than lesbianbetter (61 and percent ), while only 44 percent of bisex- they “definitely fit in” in their community. For the pansexual youth and access to social support systems. Another1 in 5 bisexualnoteworthy youth way (22% ) Twenty-eight percentyouthDEPRESSION (22 percent). ual youth and 53 percent of lesbian/gay youth reported the same. youth included in this report, it is important to remember that the for LGBT youththen in good. their community, If they or to know a supportive adult hell, that I should gay youth (50 percent) this figure was just 4 percent. Queer youth reported the highest reported that their school was reported frequentBISEXUAL verbal ADULTS and more than twice percentage who believed that their community is getting “much” or in whichin their bisexual family, youth school, participants or community differ whom from they their could lesbian turn to for These findings represent risk factors that put bisexual youth on a findings do not represent LGBT youth nationally since the survey don’t, there’s “very accepting” and 29% said harassment involving anti-gay be ashamed of as high as straight “somewhat” better (61 percent), while only 44 percent of bisex- and gay peers is in their awareness of people and institutions POOR GENERAL HEALTH sample was not random. Nonetheless, here are a few highlights: support. Bisexual youth were also slightly less likely than gay and trajectoryslurs such astoward “fag.” the issues thatSEXUAL have been2X ASSAULTfound to dispropor- youth (22 percent). ual youth and 53 percent of lesbian/gay youth reported the same. 1 in 2 females in thethe sample door.” 1 in 5 malesthe same in the about sample their peers. 8 who I am.” that lesbiancould help youth them to know through whether their theirjourney state to government,self-acceptance. doctors, or tionately affect bisexual adults.6 identify as bisexual identify as bisexual Bisexuallocal youth businesses were much were acceptingless likely of to LGBT be aware people. of Insafe short, spaces bisexual Half of the LGBT youth in middle DEPRESSION 2X for LGBTyouth youth often in struggle their community, with their sexual or to know orientation a supportive and frequently adult 8 TRANSGENDER14 OTHER GENDER-EXPANSIVE This report, then, is a call to action for us MIDDLE HIGH school in this sample identify in theirfeel family, like they school, have noor communityone to turn towhom for help. they could turn to for These findings represent risk factors that put bisexual youth“I onWISH a THAT MORE PEOPLE INSIDE SCHOOL SCHOOL as bisexual compared to 36 support. Bisexual youth were also slightly less likely than gay and trajectoryall to towardgain thea better issues that understanding have been found to of dispropor how to- * A note on the “straight” peers: This group consists of 472 youth who did not identify THE GAY COMMUNITY ITSELF WOULD percent of high school youth 6 lesbianas lesbian, youth gay, to bisexualknow whetheror transgender. their However, state it government, is important not to doctors, conflate genderor tionatelysupport affect and bisexual care adults. for our bisexual SUPPORTyouth and MY DECISION TO CALL MYSELF localidentity businesses and sexual were orientation. accepting There may of beLGBT youth people. in this group In short,who have bisexual transgender help them become happier, healthierBISEXUAL. and I AM NOT BEING SELFISH. I youthexperiences often struggle but are no with longer their identifying sexual as transgender. orientation And andyouth frequentlywho identified as Overall, higher percentages of younger youth identify as bisexual transgender and straight were not included in this straight group. This report,more then, successful is a call toadults. actionAM for NOT us A LIAR. I AM NOT GAY. I AM NOT 1feel in 4like transgender they have youthno one in to the turn to1 infor 5 help. other gender-expansive in this sample while the percent of youth who identify as lesbian/ STRAIGHT. I AM BISEXUAL.” sample identify as bisexual youth identify as bisexual all to gain a better understanding of how to gay is greater with older youth. The percentage of youth who iden- * A note on the “straight” peers: This group consists of 472 youth who did not identify tify as pansexual (between 6 and 8 percent) or queer (between 2 as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. However, it is important not to conflate gender support and care for our bisexual youth and 7 identity and sexual orientation. There may be youth in this group who have transgender and 5 percent) are more similar across all age groups. See the appendix for more detailed breakdown of demographics. help them become happier, healthier“I CAME and OUT TO MY FAMILY AND experiences but are no longer identifying as transgender. And youth who identified as transgender and straight were not included in this straight group. more successful adults. THEY DIDN’T BELIEVE ME.”

5 “I WOULD LIKE THE PRESSURE7 TO

‘PICK A SIDE’ “THE ONE TIME I BROUGHT “BEING GAY IS UNDERSTOOD THE ISSUE UP WITH MY IN MY FAMILY, MOM, SHE SAID THAT I BUT BEING BISEXUAL IS WOULD GROW OUT OF IT, NOT.” AND THEN IGNORED IT.” “MY PARENTS AREN’T “I FEEL LIKE IF I WERE HOMOPHOBIC, BUT, WHEN TO COME OUT AS IT COMES TO ME, THEY BISEXUAL, PEOPLE AREN’T ACCEPTING AT ALL. WOULD JUST THINK THEY SAY I CAN’T BE BI. I’M A SLUT.” I HAVE TO BE GAY OR STRAIGHT.”

12 BECOMING AN ALLY

peers or extended families. ers and administrators talk So how can we do a Talk to your children to students about bullying about their sexual orienta- and harassment, they should better job of reaching tion and let them know be sure to be as inclusive of that not only will you bisexual youth as possible by these youth, support- support them if they are modeling inclusive language. gay or lesbian, but also if ing their identities, they are bisexual, queer, FOR LGBT pansexual or questioning. and meeting their Insist that the people surround- ADVOCATES ing your child are respectful. Those who already work or unique needs? Don’t allow others who are volunteer in capacities that uncomfortable with your child’s support LGBT youth or adults For anyone who interacts EDUCATE sexual orientation to put them must strive to be as inclusive with youth, the first step is to down. Set clear expectations as possible by using terms acknowledge and talk about YOURSELF with others about how you like “LGBT” when refer- bisexuality, particularly when The first step for anyone want your child to be treated ring to the community, you’re talking about topics like wanting to be a better ally for and referred to. rather than talking about dating, relationships or sex. It’s bisexual youth is to educate “gay” rights. also important to use the lan- yourself about bisexuality and If your child comes out to you guage used by youth. Go beyond the . Learn as bisexual, read all that you When organizing events, be talking about gay and lesbian about the kinds of issues can about bisexuality, and talk intentional about including relationships and use terms like listed in this report, and seek to other parents of bisexual and identifying openly bisexual bisexual, queer, questioning, out the additional resources children. If needed, you can participants and leaders, and and pansexual. Let youth talk to listed in this guide. Be aware seek advice from support include content specifically you and tell you the terms they of the prejudices that you groups, advocacy orga- related to bisexuality to give use. Also be inclusive of terms might hold about bisexuality, nizations, conferences, the bisexual community a related to gender identity, such and work toward changing or online forums where you voice. It is especially impor- as transgender, genderfluid and your assumptions. can talk to people who might tant to show bisexual youth genderqueer. By hearing this have had similar questions and examples of successful people language used, bisexual and FOR PARENTS experiences with their own who identify like they do. other youth can hear that their children. identities are legitimate and AND CAREGIVERS Most importantly, we can respected. As your child comes to under- FOR EDUCATORS hold ourselves and other stand their sexual orientation, members of the com- Another way that everyone can you may develop concerns Since bisexual youth were munity accountable for be an ally to bisexual youth is about their safety, or whether much less likely than lesbian biphobia, for addressing by calling attention to myths they will be accepted by their and gay youth to be out in the disparate needs of and stereotypes about bisexual school, and to their class- the bisexual community youth and adults. Be mindful of mates and teachers, educators and for making sure that the many pervasive myths and “My family is very can play an important role in bisexual youth and adults stereotypes addressed in this accepting. They improving the well-being of never feel marginalized, report and dispel them when- love me for who I bisexual youth. When teach- dismissed or stereotyped. ever you hear them. Correct your am and for what I friends, family and coworkers when they perpetuate those am. They told me it “I feel I am treated differently in my stereotypes in conversation. Let didn’t matter who school because I’m female and bisexual… people know that it is not okay I loved as long as The teachers sometimes even preach to make generalizations about I’m happy.” hate against those that are not straight.” anyone’s sexual orientation.

17