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202 - 5th Street South ( III < l< OUI Olllt IM1 W I'M '. BBiH (Downtown 111 lll<* U't hhl'iflcjC Hotel) RESERVATIONS 328-6099 www.54.ca Careers and OpPortUn The Meliorist \ Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 02 ities careers and opportunities

Worker. Fostercare/ Adoptions Worker. Case Work RE YOU GOING TO NEED A SUMMER JOB FOR 2003? ments who are recruiting December and April grads, as well Supervisor, Work Site Manager (Oct. 31). Many companies Mart their recruitment now. See as summer students right now for positions in 2003! Vou J% Western IIR Consulting - Management Develoi llu- OCR section as well as the Summer Jobs list could have a job contracl signed before Christmas. Come in 'ment posi­ tions (ASAP). below, to B610 tor more information. See below for lists ol new- graduate and summer OCR positions. international Accommodation Guide, independent Sale contractors/Salespeople (ASAP). Career & Employment Services is a studenl service office Communications Security Establishment - Careers in dedicated to assist you in your job search and career plan­ Summer OCR dor summer 2003) Languages (Dec. 15). ning. We're within the Career Resources Centre along with * Bayer Crop Science - Sales. Research & Development, 1 the two Cooperative Education and Applied studies pro­ Product Placement. Customer Service Operator, and Breeding Vector Marketing Canada - Customer Service/Sales Representative (Oct. 31). grams. We relocated this summer to new premises in Room Operations (Nov. t directly to employer). B610 - across from C.J.'s Cafe in the Atrium. CRC office hours " Syngenta Crop Protection Inc. - Technical field Manager Summer (check the Job Board or Binder in CES) are o-Noon and 1-4 pm. Intern. Territory manager Interns. Customer Resource Centre Intern (Nov. 14 directly to employer). * AB Sustainable Resource Development, Forest Protection Some of our services include: * Dow AgroSciences Canada Inc. - Ranger & Pasture Summer Division - Wildland Eirefighing Crew - Rapattack and Sales Assistant. Research & Product Development Assistant. llelitack Programs (Nov. 30). Helitack Support Crew (Nov. • Career Resources Library contains University and Summer Sales Assistant (Nov. 120 at noon sharp in CES). 30), Sustained Action Crew (ASAP), Emergency Firefighter College calendars across Canada, employer information, Program (apply between Jan. 31 and March 15), Lookout handouts on standardized testing such as LSAT, MCAT, an Permanent Full-time OCR (Positions beginning Observer (ASAP), Provincial Forest Fire Centre Wildfire and array of Career Planning information and job hinders. We between .January and Sept. 2003). Air Operations Support Staff (Jan. 15), Wildfire Dispatcher maintain a job hoard, conduct workshops in resume writing To participate in OCR. you must sign up in our office for a (ASAP). and interviewing, and organize the annual Career Fair. Stop session (B610). In the session, you will register and receive Bayshore Inn. Waterton lakes National Park - Various by and talk to Pat, Diane or Cheryl ahout our services. We're detailed information about how to apply, copies of postings, ( \SAP). here to help you! You can also check out our website for more and made aware of upcoming opportunities. * FSWEP, the Federal Student Work Experience Program was detailed information: www.uleth.ca/reg-ces/ ' Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Lethbridge, Calgary and Edmonton launched Oct. 21st! Go online to check out the opportunities Entry-Level Management Trainee (ASAP directly to employ­ for summer work next year. Some departmental positions • Job Board is in front of our offices at B610 - directly er). have deadlines. Or you can also simply apply to the invento­ across from C.J.'s Cafe where we post all part-time, full-time, * TD Canada Trust, placement ultimately in rural Albeita - ry, which has no deadline, and your skills and other criteria volunteer, summer and international positions. The positions Account Manager. Agriculture (Oct. 31 at noon sharp in CES). are accessed by appropriate government departments. Check ma) start right away, or they may not start until next summer. Dow AgroSciences Canada Inc. - Technical Sales the website at: jobs.gc.ca to find out more. These are summer Now is the time to be watching. The Current .lobs binder in Representatives (Nov. 20 at noon sharp in CES). This is ideal and temporary jobs to start next year! the Resource Library enables you to photocopy any of the for a December grad! Library of Parliament - Parliamentary Guides (Nov. 18). positions (at your own expense!) you see on the Job Board. So ifyou want to make copies of any positions, come in. And now for those positions that arc1 not part of On-Campus Information Sessions (to date). Please sign up so thai On-Campus Recruiting (OCR) is in full swing! CES organiz­ Recruiting: reps know how much material to bring and to ensure llu es recruiting for employers year-round. In most cases we col­ rooms are big enough. lect youi- resumes, forward them to the employer, set up inter­ Part-time view schedules and host employers on campus when they Rogers AT&T Wireless - Retail Specialists (Nov. 14). Want to be a Parliamentary Guide this summer? Wednesday, come to interview you. * UolL Faculty of Management - Student Desktop Support October 30th. 1-2 pm, Room B640. A former Guide will pro­ We have a numher of companies and government depart- (Oct. 24). vide information about the program and answer questions. ' Environics West - Interviewers to conduct public opinion polls and market research (ASAP). Thinking ol pursuing a Chartered Accountant designation? Eeole Plamondon School - 11,ill-time Family Outreach Monday, November \. 12:if, - 1:30, Room C756 Worker (Oct. 31). * Institute of Chartered Accountants. A representative of thc ' Scandinavian Building Services - Light cleaning at major Institute will explain the articling process and the CASB mod department store (()ct. 2.",). ules. Lethbridge IIIV Connection - Community Development Student Newspaper of the university of Lethbridge Officer. Thi> is 14 hours a week (Oct. 25). • Lethbridgt Lodg< - Banquet Porters Servers, Bus People. •tnbndge, AB T1K3M4 Line Cool, (ASAP), Dairy Milker - 3:30 - 6 p.m. starting Dec. 1 (Nov 15). International Accommodation Guide, Independent Sales tnel*io*rism (rm doctrine contractors/Salespeople (ASAIM. §§mm(^S thai the world tends to beconn better or ma) i\ better by human effort Southern Alberta Community Living Association - Part-time contractors to provide caring home environment to children c.w.s. with developmental disabilities (ASAP). ! most Thursdays througho I I here w .1^ .1 man v* ho grew Shoot linn up 1 In i( e daily "ubfchiny 5o 'ixxated body. Responsible. Trustworthy and tun person needed to accom­ 1 idress al correspondence to Ttie Meiorist. 440: insane Just before meals pany male quadriple he Halloween Cab 01 Ocl •• I rom inject ing whiskey I L'il smile ver) gayly Deadlne for submissions is Sunday at noon. The phone number is (ASAP). (403) 329-2334 or fax us at 329 Straight 10 the brain ' Tutors lor grades 2-12 (ASAP). With a poke I It'll love how il teels Lethbridge family Senices. DaCapo Program Community 1 And a s(|uish • dilation, Workers Relief workers for weekdays. \nd ,1 flop III.i .1 fish If you happen to miss a sin gle dost • pubica- evenings and weekends and some scheduled shifts (AS VP). I le tilled Lis bead with Lai tion). Letters may be edited fa I Meiorist ley piss I k'll surel) fa< e comatose reserves 1 Full-Time (check the Job Board or Hinder in CES). You should really considei Don't forget to check the OCR full-time positions (above) I 1 gaggle Iurn up! 1 Ie taking it ion How else tan you possibl) which don't start until between May and September 2003. screamed Editor-in-Chief j Chris Brown see this through'' Alberta Agriculture, Pood & Rural Development - Loud as hell Business Manager I Joe Fink And with a frothy mouth he Ihe woman's tears began 10 Beef/Forage and Crops smiled. stream Copy Editor I Robbie Chernish Interns - two 4 to 6 month term positions, one in the disci­ Wobbled, and fell She thought it surely must News Editor | Alicia McKenzie pline area of beef and forages, the other in crops (ASAP). be a dream Sports Editor I Craig Hamilton * RBC Financial Croup - Personal Financial Services (ASAP Ihey looked into his insane She couldn't handle this hoi online). Photo Editor I Lance Semak eyes rihle mess * UofL International Centre for Students - Student Services As his childish brain let out So she implanted her brain Entertainment Editor | Danielle Crossland Assistant. Temporary until January 31 (Oct. 31). loud cries with C.W.S. Production Manager | Jeff Stauffer * AB Agriculture, Economies Unit - Production Economist, "Help me please" was in his head Office Assistant | Tamara liischke Livestock (Oct. 25). * Health Canada, Ottawa - Chemists, Biologists, Evaluators But the whiskey fried his Distribution Manager | Curtis Home (Nov. 1 to the PSR campaign). brain stone dead This is the debut of a new feature in The Meliorist. We Creative Designer | Abi Iluynh * Natural Resources Canada - Science and Technology I lis wiring's fried are calling out to any Advertising Manager | Scott Zagorsky Internship Program. Potential employers can apply to this Ihe doctor cried interested poets, authors or program and receive funding to hire recent graduates for 6 - WebMaster | Roopi Dhaliwal I know this disease creative writers to submit Come in to CES for more info or check out the website at And I'll he your guide their work for publication. Printing | Southern Alberta Newspaper Group www.nrcan.gc.ca/css/hrsh/st/intern-e.htm Please email your pieces to * Tm Biosdence - Development Associates (Oct. 31). It's C.W.S. - a horrible [email protected] (untiibutun: Ryan Aikkrum, MuLUtw SatMrvi/lt, Kyun KttJ, TkuBrtlU BnWH, * Axcan Pharma Inc. - Coordinator, Documentation and affliction Kyle Mai dull./«./«/ count \mmr\ tix Stun-a Pnm$Mnx Compliance (ASAP). Cranial Whisky Syndrome ATTN: Robbie Chernish or drop something by the On trie Cover: * Amersham Biosciences - Scientific Support Technical Caused hy instant alcohol Mark Roberts visits the UofL Specialist (ASAP). addiction office at SU 166. Thanks in ' Ocean Nutrition Canada Ltd. - Research Scientist (ASAP). advance for any and all Don't let him snooze submissions. KJ you have an invigorating mi/0.. * Dow AgroSciences - Technical Sales Representatives to start Ihe Doc said to his wife in January (See OCR info above). Just inject more booze * Kainaiwa Children's Services Corporation - Foster Care And you'll save his life Letters to the Editor The Meliorist Thursday, 24 October 2002 I Page 03

for medical sav­ that the system is not sustainable in Canadians feel i.s the cornerstone of ings accounts - the long run, and so a loss of com­ our health care system. an economist at prehensiveness and accessibility is And so the commodification of the University of inevitable. And the answer, health care as suggested by your Manitoba ha.s inevitably, i.s to shift the focus away piece, however modestly, is danger­ shown that they from pooling financial risk toward ous. Your argument i.s founded on are not at all individual responsibility. Here I inaccuracies, even a.s it suggests cost-effective. defer to Arthur Schafer, the that we erode the important princi­ Dr. Evevlyn Director of the Centre for ple of access based on medical need Forget's report, Professional and Applied Ethics at rather than on our ability to pay. which modeled the University of Manitoba, to Is it any wonder you don't get health care costs explain how pro-Medicare forces many writers willing to debate you? in Manitoba and respond: "...[Empirical data shows You consistently trot out trite neo- was recently con­ that] none of the three sectors liberal, market-based cliches and sidered in a which together make up our public choose not to back them up with editor Reuters news Medicare system - government solid evidence. You riccochet in 'M PLEASED TO SEE YOU'VE nations when it comes to total article, reveals that "most MSA for­ funding of hospitals, physicians' your opinion pieces from subject to opted for voluntary clear taxes paid versus GDP. 14 coun­ mulations would lead to greater fees, and administrative costs - has subject in vain histrionics. You I labeling in moving your mar­ tries collected more taxes than government spending on the popu­ increased its share of our entire polarize the citizenry into carica­ ket demagoguery to a "Thoughts Canada, and 14 countries collected lation's healthiest members. The economy over the past quarter-cen­ tures of left and right, and then From the Right" section; would that less, in the 1998 OECD report. MSA model used by the researchers tury or so." proceed to pass judgment on most your high priests in corporate life Consider the disposable income showed a 54% increase in public What has increased the cost of of them as apathetic because they sciences opt for the same as they after taxes for a family with two spending on hospital and physician health care substantially is drugs. aren't engaged with how you insis­ continue to alter our groceries. children: the average disposable costs, according to the report in the And yet we exclude drug costs from tently frame the debate. I'm writing to address a few prob­ income in Canada is 81.8% of total Canadian Medical Association national health insurance, so that lems with your opinion piece. First, income, just slightly below the Journal." Forget goes on to explain the people who can't afford the Neal Thomas let's correct the frequently repeated OECD average of 85.1%, and we get that, "No matter how you set up drugs will relapse back into the sys­ and outright false claim that we are far more in government services MSAs, it always costs more, unless tem for expensive surgery, costing Do you have an perspective you one of the most heavily taxed coun­ than many of these countries. This you set the entitlement so low and us even more money! If cost-con­ would like to share? The Meliorist appreciates your views and looks tries among industrialized nations. information is from a taxation the catastrophic threshold so high tainment were the real issue, per­ forward to publishing your letters. Canada consistently falls square in report by the Canadian Centre for as to eliminate universal coverage." haps we should in fact expand Please send your opinions to the middle of the pack among Policy Alternatives, http://www. Third, your opinion piece (and Medicare to include drugs. This [email protected] OECD (Organization for Economic policyalternatives.ca/. much of the literature written by would be more in keeping with the ATTN: Letters to the Editor opponents of Medicare) suggests Cooperation and Development) Second, let's curb our enthusiasm idea of equal access that so many The problem with everything in general or the problem with you specifically

O THE TITLE IS MISLEADING. Toffler!... Who's Alvin Toffler? A similar story can be told with else like it. For me and for most of whether to buy Calvin Klein or Gap, I'm more concerned with Bloody hell. Toffler is a futurist, jeans, coats, televisions, cars, and you, I'd imagine, the idea to search there's people all over the world, Sbitching out society a bit, and a fairly well recognized one. basically all of the luxuries of con­ for 'the best" of something is gone, even in our own homeland, the really. The Western World, a bas­ He coined the term "future shock" temporary society. And ultimately replaced with the desire to try it all. True North Strong and Free tion of powerful economics and and wrote about overabundance of we're left with the same question: Do you want to know what's (shameless nationalist moment), powerful people, where - at least on choice. How am I supposed to when did we forsake quality for worse? Nobody seems to care. who can't even meet those basic the surface - the only color that name-drop if you people don't quantity? At which point did hav­ We're more than willing to lounge needs, and may never even get to matters is the color of money. We know whose name I'm dropping?) ing a huge variety of something pre­ in this mediocrity, because nobody taste chocolate. are a proud and decadent lot. But How do people respond to this clude having any one good kind of seems to have noticed that all of our really, what's wrong with that? overabundance of choice? Well, that thing? When was the last time needs — and I mean basic needs of Adam L. Drew We've got the capability for luxury, now we get back to our shopping you saw a movie, drove a car, drank life, you know the ones — have been why not revel in it? question. Obviously, you go for the a bottle of pop and said "this is it. taken care of. As hard as we work Questions or comments? Well, really, I can't argue with product that provides the highest This is the best kind of 'x.' I'll never now, most of us work for luxury, for Contact the author at [email protected] that. There's no reason not to enjoy quality, or the most enjoyment for need another 'x' again"? fluff, rather than survival. We've or have your views published by what we have. But we're enjoying it your needs. But let's not stop there. I obviously can't answer for you, lost the drive to create the perfect [email protected]. Maybe you can't afford the best anything, because we've lived so the wrong way. but I'll tell you when my last time We hope to hear from you. When was the last time you were quality, or maybe (gasp!) the most was: never. I've never had some­ long with good enough everything. in the store? Buying snacks or expensive item is not the best. So thing so good that it removed all And then, of course, the really bad slacks, it doesn't matter; what's the there comes into being a staggering desire from me to have anything news comes. While we fret over first thing you ask yourself, assum­ variety of quality levels, each mar­ ing a normal level of thought going keted to a specific demographic in into your purchase? Think about such staggeringly complex ways this, we'll get back to it. that only a management student or Any culture in a "primitive" state that chimp that Japanese needs one thing: survival. This is researchers have trained to the driving goal and everybody exchange coins for berries would must strive to ensure the continu­ understand them. And then, more ance of the culture. Whether food time passes. In 1847, when the is in short supply, or the climate is first chocolate bar was mass-mar­ too harsh to comfortably support keted (bow before my mighty triv­ humans — the weak, pathetic flesh- ia!), there wasn't a whole lot of bags that we are — some smaller variety involved. There was one societies band together to fulfill kind. It had no nuts, no caramel, communal needs and develop spe­ no nougat, no nothing. You paid cialized labor. Of course, you can what was charged and you liked it. contrast wealthy states like our I'll give you the short version of own, and especially the Yoo Ess of history from there: others start Ay, with these little developing producing simple chocolate bars, nations. some of better quality than others, and at a comparably lower price. Wealthy cultures don't have to Milk chocolate is invented, so you worry about survival any more, so actually have a choice of different they can focus on the so-called types of chocolate. "higher" pursuits: art, science, music, more effective forms of Someone gets the brilliant idea of killing (OK, most of these fall under putting nuts it. Then we see the "science," excuse me), and they lose evolution of "gooey stuff" until in sight of what it means to not have the early 19008, the Mars company enough food to survive through a adds caramel and nougat AT THL winter. Cannibalism becomes a SAME TIME. Meanwhile, shocking thought, rather than Hershey's starts mass-producing something one is forced to consid­ cheap chocolate and before you er. But wait, it gets better. Oh yes, know it, I can't decide what to buy after enough time with people pur­ since there are approximately ten suing societal developments rather billion different kinds of chocolate than letting them happen sponta­ bars available in 7-Eleven (the ILUM8IA BLVD, W neously, life reaches the point topic of comparing American ver­ where certain people, in our case, sus Canadian snack food pops into TMBID

by Alicia McKenzie as a beacon," as they move forward Sews Editor in their lives. The convocation ceremony pre­ sented accolades, both graduate RIDE AND RESPECT WERE and undergraduate, from a variety the order of the day as of disciplines. Two new designa­ P 300 graduates were hon­ tions were on the program this ored during the UofL's Fall year, as the Master of Science Convocation ceremony on (Management) degree was given to Saturday. September 19th. a group of four students, and Diane The 150 degree, diploma and cer­ Nummi became the first candidate tificatnewe recipients in attendance for the Certificatse in Health

were accompanied by a number of Sciences. UofL dignitaries and honored Lethbridge Mayor Bob Tarleck guests as they made their way up brought greetings on behalf of the the hill from University Hall to the city, expressing the pride the city main gymnasium. The procession has in their post-secondary institu­ tions. "[There's often said to be] was simulcast in the gymnasium for i>NO£ SEM4K the benefit of family and friends conflict between town and gown," who had assembled. he said. "I'm pleased to say that were a part of a once in a lifetime "Today, let's enjoy the euphoria of 1988. a Master's of Education This convocation marked the last hasn't happened here." opportunity. the day," he said after receiving his degree from Texas A&M University appearance of Jim Horsman, who is UofL President Dr. Bill Cade con­ Dr. Orville Kope and Dr. Robert degree. in 1990, and a Ph.D. in Geography nearing the end of a nearly four- gratulated the graduates on their Hironaka were both acknowledged Kope, who was described as "a from Greenwich University, year term as UofL Chancellor. achievements, and highlighted as they received honorary Doctor of generous man with a keen sense of Australia in 2000. Horsman, who has an extensive some of the University's major Laws, honoris causa degrees. humour" has had a 55-year career Dr. Mardon was diagnosed with background in Canadian politics, accomplishments. "We're all very Hironaka, who was given a stand­ in the Canadian broadcasting schizophrenia in 1992 at the age of will miss greeting graduates after proud of you at the UofL," he stat­ ing ovation by the assembled industry. A native of Medicine Hat. 30. Since his diagnosis, he has they receive their diplomas, he said. ed. Cade also applauded the crowd, was born and raised on a he has severed as an ambassador of worked to help other Albertans "Although ceremony is an impor­ University's emergence as an insti­ farm in Raymond, Alberta. He his city, province and country. In with schizophrenia and mental ill­ tant part of society and a university, tution that provides people across received his Ph.D. in Animal 1989, Kope was awarded the Citizen ness. it's also important not to be too Canada and around the world Nutrition from the University of of the Year award, which was fol­ According to a University news stuffy and rigid," he said. "That's access to quality education. "We Illinois in 1959, and has remained lowed up by a Governor General's release, John Gill. Vice-President of why I shake hands and talk to each truly are campus Alberta," he con­ an active member of the UofL and Medal for Community Service four the UofL's Alumni Association, said graduate. I had a long career in cluded. Lethbridge communities. He years later. Mardon's diverse range of excel­ politics, where not everybody that Several mentions were made of served as UofL Chancellor from The Fall 2002 Distinguished lence made him an obvious choice came to shake my hand was happy. convocational attendance, with 1995 to 1999, as well as being a Alumnus of the Year Award was for this award. Now. they are." both Cade and MLA Clint Dunford member of the Senate from 1983 to given to Dr. Austin Mardon. He "A review of his accomplishments Bachelor of Science degree recipi­ expressing regret at not having 1987. One of his numerous graduated from the UofL with a makes it clear that he is a scholar, ent Reginald Sawilla gave the invo­ attended their own graduation cer­ achievements includes being an Bachelor of Arts degree in 1985. and explorer, and inspiration and a cation early in the ceremony, urg­ emonies. instrumental part in bringing the and went on to receive a Master's of role model." he said. "The ing his fellow graduates to "keep Both acknowledged the graduates Nikka Yuko Japanese Gardens to Science degree in Geography from University can take great pride in [the University's] motto, Fiat Lux, who were present, stating that they the Citv. South Dakota State University in Austin and his achievements." News The Meliorist Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 05 Fall 2002 Convocation Graduate List

Master of Science Jennifer Scarlett (>lson Brenda Lee Brautigam, BA I.an,i Justm,) Armitage Florence Ibidunnl Owokalu With Distinction With (ireat Distinction With Distinction Mei Wa Pang Thomas Dickinson Charge, BSc Brett Douglas Parker Julie Christina Poole Bradley Justin Atkinson With Distinction Taunia Lydia Lynn Closson, BSc Abbey Elissa Pinder, BA With Distinction Cynthia Lynn Audley Co operative liducation Diedre Paige Davidson, BSc Julie Christina Poole With Distinction Thanh Ngoc I'ham Kenneth Troy Darker, BSc With Distinction Bachelor of Arts and Steven Soon Khong Aw Michelle Lynn Phillips Jason Douglas Masuda, BSc Richard Barlow Robb Bachelor of Education Dean Jeremy Bala With Distinction Nicole Catherine McKenzie, BSc, BEd Douglas Michael Romanchuk Joanne Lee Ballancc Sean W Polec Traccy I.ynne Roemmele, BSc Michelle Catherine Roycroft Burrus Tanya Caoili Ahmed Denis John Bekkering Faizel Aziz Poonja Jason Leonard Schleppe, B.Sc Keiichi Sagawa Darren Thomas Bartram Ramandeep Kaur Bhandal Si mt (ieorge Price Claudia Natalia Samayoa Mary J. Chief Calf Alif Bharmal Jacqueline Marie Rainville Master of Education Cheris Bree Samuels Kimberly Rose Collis Salim Sadrudin Bharwani With Great Distinction Deanna Lynn Saunders BEd-With Distinction Co-operative liducation Raymondc Michelle Ramm Jolene Rae Christiansen, BEd Jaclyn Brie Saunderson William Godfried de Klcine Kristy Lynn Bishop With Distinction Chantel Nicole Torslund, BKd (iregory John Schipper HA-With Great Distinction Danielle Tavia Tve Blackwell Christopher Michael Kawles Karen Lynn Gatzky, BN Kerry Merle Scott Mid With Great Distinction (iregory Ronald Cordon boles Kyle Jordan Reding Donald James Georgeson, BComm, BEd 'Tiffany Leona Smith Jody Anne Gordon Bradley Telford Bourhis Robyn Nicole Samuels Judith Anne Masinoff, BA Tyler James Speelman BEd-With Distinction Ravinder Singh Brar With Distinction Glen Allen Hutton, BSc, BEd Christopher Lee Stone Tyler Jay Leavitt Kimberly Denise Budd, I5A Ashley O'Dcan Siewert Pamela Dawn Burnside Janice Hlaine Ottewell, BEd Anne-Marie Elizabeth Summers Cheryl Jennette Nisbet Leanne Michele Simpson Jamie Teresa Callahan Amanda Dale Smith Emily Ann Walker, BA, BEd Matthew Ryan Todd Blid With Great Distinction Nicolette Marie Van Nistelrooy Courtney Danielle Ropchan Katherine Ann Captain Christina Marie Solano Master of Science Caroline Suzanne Williams Blid-With Distinction Paul Blair C.ashato Christopher (iraham Spaetgens (Management) Graeme Stephen Woods Rodney James Scott See Man Chan Amy Lynn Spies Blid With Distinction Sue Wing Shu (.bin John Malcolm Stewart Sheila Kathleen Cowan Jill Fern Elizabeth Finley, BComm Bachelor of Science Alison (rillian Smith With Distinction Alnoor I )amji Lynn Marie Strocen Carol Olivia I Ierhert Pembcrton, BA Ian Dennis Stang Krisztina Kinga I )ecsey Jennifer Ashley Tamhlyn Neil Anton Mardian, BMgt Allan Brett Alexander li. I With Distinction Mario Ernesto Delgado Gudifto I )avid Philip Tanguay Karan Deepak Sonpar. BA, MBA Jennifer Marie Alford li lid With Great Distinction Candice Erica Anderson Ronald Fredrick Strate Sukhpal Singh I >hanoa Co-operative Education Michael I )ino I )i Maio Bachelor of Arts Co operative Education Stephanie Irene Weenk Amie Lynn Thompson (icrrit John Jacob Arnoldussen BA With Great Distinction Michael Ryan I )obay Co operative Education Daniel Richard Keil Dobson Natasha < )livia Thompson ( l.iyton Jay Anderson Corey Steven Asbreuk Blid-With Great Distinction Iannis Marie I )ukart Stanlev Bruce Thomson < Iraig Joseph Anderson Kent Robert Beningfield I.nn (Catherine Ehrman With Great Distinction Keith (iordon Anderson Shauna Lee Blackwell Bachelor of Science and Amber Dawn Turnbull Trevor Kent Ashman, BA Kimberly Dawn Bodnar Bachelor of Education David .Allen Tines Nil ban Eldon Turner Susie Michelle Atwood Mcru Brunn Sharlene Sylvia Enstrom (ireg Mark 1 rbanc/vk Christine Rae Bakke Valerie Gayle Budd Crystal Kathleen Carver Brandy Lynn Fagnan Timothy Bernard Van Wiercn Justin Ryan Bolin With Great Distinction BSc With Great Distinction Neal (Christopher Fahselt Kristopher Ryan Walton Gloria June Bremer Jimmy Chow BEd-With Great Distinction Scott David Fengstad Brent Nolan Torsyth Bjorn ()le Wigen With Distinction Dinah Lea Marie De Porto Cheryl Marie Fraser Erin Michelle Butters With (Ireat Distinction Bachelor of Science and With Distinction Neil Joseph (iabourie Jessica Marie Williamson With Great Distinction Cooperative liducation Bachelor of Management Sarah have (iarstad With Great Distinction Honours Thesis Darren John Kvcleigh Dean Walker Caskarth I >aisj Mei c rung Wong Sheri-I.ee Byce (io-operative liducation Carma Jean 1 larding Darren Stephen Gibbons Jn\ \ IK- \i Simon Martin Cashmorc Nicole Jane Farley BSc With Great Distinction Vanessa Marie I lamilton < io operative liducation Eoin Stewart Colquhoun Co operative liducation Co-operative liducation Denise Joyce 1 larty Amy I lui Min Xie Mar!; Thomas I )eans Rita Lee Finlay BMgt-Witb Distinction Jamie Troy 1 Ilewka James Ibshio Yanagibashi John Jake Arthur Derksen Stephanie Elaine Fischer Jonathan Kinwah Yip Trisha Tea I Inatiuk Davina Carmen Dorling (lo operative liducation BSc With Great Distinction Kian Yuk I ling Yu John Patrick Ilockenhull Patrick Gerald Duffy, I.1..B Dale Christopher James Hart Co-operative Education K mi Mane /.iragoza Jason Emil Alexander Heller BMgt-Witb Great Distinction Khu I luynh With Great Distinction Zoe Claire Johnson (iregory Wayne Jackson Certificate in Management David John Earland Lisa Michelle Kennedy Adrian Peter Janssens I )avid John Ellen Bachelor of Fine Arts (Art) Mark Andrew Jenkins Barbara Ellen Theresa Gabrielle Erasmus With Distinction Nnole Anne Jeffrey Barbara Majalurcic Human Resource Management Dana Lee Lvanyshyn Co operative liducation Susi Kathy Rose Kalke and Industrial Relations Jennifer Lea Franks Cage Owen Klein It "ith Distinction Darcy James Logan Jennifer Yvonne Kelly Jennifer Louise Lee ll "ith Distinction With Great Distinction Melissa Janine Robertson ('<; operative Education Human Resource Management Sonya Marion Friesen Natalie Ann Kromrey With Distinction Carrie Anne Kitchen and Organization Studies Murray Wade (iartly Craig James Lampard Amanda Jean Knapik I ).ivid James (iraham With (ireat Distinction Robby Shaun I.odermcier Bachelor of Fine Arts Andreas John Koller Bachelor of Health Sciences With Distinction Kristen Nicole Lorenz (Dramatic Arts) Co operative Education Nancy Alison (irimm Co-operative liducation Travis Karl Korella Lyndse) Ann I )angerfield Shannon Denise (i rover Jeffrey Dean McCormick Michel Phillip Pariseau Kyle Richard Lambert Phoenix I Herhawkc Donald Mark I lamilton Teruhisa Osawa Co operative liducation Rawad Samih Najjar Angela Dawn I lapke Mamlv Lynn Panchyshyn Peter Jakob I.audenklos Tina Thukral, BSc Kevin Cordon Haughton Bachelor of Fine Arts (io operative liducation (Multidisciplinary) Lisa Therese Mane Legault Amber Paige Herriman Daniel Richard Joseph Poirier Co-operative liducation Bachelor of Nursing Kelsy Janine Jobson Denon Theodore Pus/kar Carla Christine Oberg Dallas Troy l.enius Ye Kan Leila Nadine Regier With Distinction Yvette Louise I.ewchyshyn Reiko 1 loriuchi, BSc 1 liromi Kawamoto Catherine Elizabeth Roscoe Christie Alexandra Page Wing Sze Cathy Li Marilyn Lorraine Kettles Colin Kevin Kelly Co-operative liducation Dylan (ilyn Liley Karen Leskosek Christina Kesslar Heather Michelle Sauerwein Bachelor of Fine Arts Kevin Leigh l.owrey Linda Joan Martin Christopher Maurice Jan Kosut Witk Gr*ttt Distinction (Multimedia) Sharon Lee Maclsaac With Great Distinction Susan (Jail Lalnihn (io-operative liducation Christina Ruby MacMillan ( iladyS Manna Olsen Margaret LaMouche Reginald Llias Sawilla Aaron James Barr Jeannette Leanne Mandrusiak Devin Roderick Sheridan Aaron Jacob Langstraat With (ireat Distinction Nathan Barrett Smith Laura Kim Ronalda Mandrusiak Darrvl Dennis Wishnowski Jennifer Louise Laycock Brenton Kirk wood Merlin Schulz With Great Distinction With Great Distinction Eric Wayne Lee Reka Silasi Co-operative liducation Certificate in Health Jason Kent Lisowicz Co operative liducation Bachelor of Music Jatiniler Kaur Manku Sciences Jacob Barkley Loose Fraser Todd Sparks Daniel Richard Martin Angela Ann Lundy Dana Lee Stevenson Bradley Janus Baker Ebrahim Mattar Diane Marion Nummi, BN Charmaine Louise Mattinson Ming-pang Wei With Great Distinction (io-operative Education Palliative Care Samuel Donald McLennan Co-operative liducation Alicia Louise Guilder Christine Alicia Matwek Darah Moranne Milner lan Brian Wormsbcckcr Kaly Ruth Koltun l.ilburn Jeffrey Michael McCann rOri Co operative Education Co-operative liducation Crystal En Yen Liu laraJaneine McCarthy ^nmmMi Daja Leigh Mitchell Brenden Elliott M,i|erei b Lisa Marie McCulloch Sik Yin Mo The Meliorist extends Professional Diploma in Co-operative Education Aria Brea My ram Education Bachelor of Management Sonia Jeanne Meyer their congratulations to all With Distinction Tannics lee Mofford Fall 2 002 graduates on Cooperative Education Richard John Smith, BEd Majed Al-Atar Derek Dennis Moodie Chi Leung Ngan their academic achieve­ Bryce Wayne Almond Robert David Nelson Kirstine (irate Nicol Bachelor of Education Marlis May Anderson With Distinction ments and hard work well Christopher Neil Northcott Samuel 1 Lug.in Andras Betty Lai Man Ng done. We wish you tbe very Honours Thesis |ody Lee Joyce Blackmore, BA Lmmannuelle Claire Archambault, BSc Tricia Michelle Norberg Cooperative Education best ofluckfbr thefUture. Marianne Blythe, BA Tanis Lynn Arcuri Co operative Education Tatiana Werner Olingcr The Meliorist Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 06 News Spirits of Lethbridge Teachers told to avoid students' personal lives unearthed with According to Capstick. ihe employers to prevent teachers by Chris Wilson-Smith advisory was issued as a who have been convicted of Ontario Bureau a response to feedback from sexual offence involving annual tours teachers who were seeking minors from moving from Toronto (CUP) by Alicia McKenzie and ends at the Gait Museum, will take guidance for avoiding sexual school to school. News Editor its guests to various locations around misconduct in the classroom. "This is something all teach­ the city where grizzly activity occurred. NTARIO TEACHERS In July, Barrie teacher Laura ers in the province are in sup­ Wvrostok previewed that the site where should avoid heing Sclater was acquitted of all port of." says Ontario Teachers' HOSTS FROM THE ClTY OF the first train accident occurred will be a O alone with stu­ criminal charges after she was Federation President Phyllis Lethbridge's past will be main area of focus. dcnls' say new guidelines suspended for sending a 13- Benedict. "Sexual misconduct G awakened in the following 15 volunteers will be helping with the released In the Ontario College year-old student notes calling hasn't been a major problem in week, as the sir Alexander (ialt Museum event, which includes working on set of Teachers. him "stud" and "hottie." our classrooms, hut even one and Archives makes their contribution designs, costumes, and a myriad of last- Meeting behind closed doors, The guidelines list examples case is one case too many." to Halloween festivities hy staging the minute behind the scenes details. sending erotic e-mails, and of what may be considered sex­ One teacher, who wanted her annual Halloween Ghost Tours. University of Lethbridge drama student getting involved in the stu­ ual harassment of students, name withheld to ensure no This year's theme, Lethbridge's Duane Petluk will also lend his support dents' personal lives are also including "engaging in sexual- repercussions from her union, Gruesome Firsts, will explore many of to the event, serving as a tour guide for scenarios teachers should stay izetl dialogue through the spoke of the problems the the city's hidden secrets. Pounded as a all of the bus excursions. away from. Internet with students," "mak­ guidelines may present for mining town over a century ago, many Research for the tours has been com­ The guidelines stem from a ing telephone calls ofa person­ teachers who are involved in would be surprised to know what really pleted with the help of Greg Ellis, who three-year-old report by for­ al nature to students" and co-curricular activities that happened in Lethbridge during its early has aided the museum in their search for mer justice Sydney Robins, "sending intimate letters to involve meeting frequently days, according to Amber Wvrostok, ghosts in the city archives. which outlined the problems of students." with students behind closed Special Events Coordinator for the Gait This will be the fourth year that the sexual misconduct in the Teachers who have any sort of doors, like the yearbook com­ Museum. Gait will be holding these seasonal bus Ontario public schooling sys­ sexual relationship with a stu­ mittee or the student newspa­ "There were three men for each tours, while thc museum itself has held tem. dent, regardless of any appar­ per. woman," she said. "A lot of murders Halloween tours for the last nine years. "The teaching profession itself ent consent, are also guilty of "If teachers are discouraged [occurred]. Lethbridge has quite an Tickets for the bus tour are $5.00 each, is the driving force behind this sexual misconduct, according from doing such things, in the unsavory little past." and touring the museum will cost $3.00 effort to ensure that students to the advisory. long run, perhaps students will Bus tours will run every evening from per person. Both prices are the same for are safe in the care of Ontario The guidelines are a reflection suffer, as teachers will be less October 27th to 31st, while tours of the seniors, adults and children. Over the teachers," said College chair of the Student Protection Act, [willing] to assume the respon­ Gait Museum and Archives will take phone ticket reservations are not accept­ Larry Capstick. which was passed by the sibility [of supervising certain place on Halloween night. The Museum, ed. Tickets can be purchased at the Gait "The profession, through the Ontario government in .June, activities] if it basically comes which has been dubbed "one of southern Museum, located on the west end of 5th College, wants to deal with according to Capstick. with a gigantic warning label." Alberta's most haunted places", will Avenue South. For more information, inappropriate conduct ofa sex­ The act was created to address She adds that teachers may hold tours at 7, 8 and 9:00pm. contact the Museum at 329-4247 or ual nature in a decisive and reporting requirements prefer to "steer clear of any The hour-long bus tour, which begins Amber Wvrostok at 320-4219. open manner." between the College and potential allegations." Travel CUTS advises CWC volunteer training session Campus Women's Centre volunteered their time to facilitate 6pm on Grief and Loss. News Release our training sessions. There will Thursday November 28th, 5pm- students to avoid the he four one-hour training sessions 6pm on Response to Stress and once a week for the month of Self Care. HE CAMPUS WOMEN'S November. It i.s very important Christmas crunch Centre will finally be that all those interested in volun­ The location will be decided as T having its volunteer teering attend all of them. soon as there is a rough estimate of training. We are not opening our how many will be attending. Travel CUTS many Canadian cities. As well, doors for regular hours this semes­ The sessions will be: Press Release many airlines have pricing struc­ If interested you can email the tures with fares increasing as tbe ter, as we want to be as organized CWC at [email protected], tlight fills up. A great deal today as possible before we open. Thursday November 7th, 5pm- email Lindsay Scott at However, we are going to have vol­ LTHOUGH CHRISTMAS IS may be more expensive or even 6pm on Harassment. [email protected] or come still months away, sold out tomorrow. Travel CUTS unteer training this semester, so Thursday November 14th, 5pm- down to the Centre Thursday affordable flights for consultants are experienced at we can open right away in January. 6pm on Communication. afternoons between i-3:oop.m., A Lethbridge Family Services has the holidays are already limited. searching through all the possibil­ Thursday November 21th, 5pm- when the Centre will be open. To convey this important message ities, including web-based flights, to students. Travel CUTS has to find students the lowest fares launched the "Avoid the possible. Christmas Crunch" campaign to To make it easier for students. ensure students traveling this Travel CUTS has also launched Christmas are aware that they the Christmas Clipboard initia­ should book their travel now to tive, with their reps available on avoid disappointment. campuses to talk to students, Last year, Travel CUTS hooked gather their travel requirements, over 50,000 university and col­ and provide the details to Travel lege students for Christmas travel CUTS agents who will then on Travel CUTS Student Class research the available options. Airfares and other discounted air­ Travel CUTS has also expanded fares. "Unfortunately," says Rod the eligibility requirements for its Hurd, President of Travel CUTS, Student Class Airfares. In the "many thousands more had to fly past, these tickets for (lights to on higher-priced fares because virtually every Canadian city were they didn't make their reserva­ restricted to full-time students (of tions early enough." any age), hut now they can also be University and college exams are hooked by anyone under the age generally scheduled within the of -2(> (regardless of student sta­ same period in December, so tus). Student Class Airfares offer there is an influx of students great value, plus extra flexibility wanting to travel in what is for travelers with low-cost tlate already a high-traffic season. changes. If changes to exam Additionally, the vast majority of schedules or holiday plans come Students want to return lo school up, hassle-free changes can be within the period immediately made, based on availability. before or after New Year's live. Travel CUTS is the campus trav­ Every year, many students are el agency owned by the Canadian unable to secure the dates of their Federation of students (CFS), choice at an affordable price. "In with over So offices in Canada, the past," says Hurd, "we've had the us, and England. Students students forced to choose between can visit www.travelcuts.com or >**£•? Oct a full-fare ticket or missing call 1-800-954-2666 to find their Christmas at home altogether." nearest Travel CUTS office. This year, it is even more critical Reservations can also he made to plan early. There are fewer through Travel CUTS' Flightline at 1-800-667-2887. Ce seats out there and space is already difficult to find between mm * M1B0 News The Meliorist | Thursday, 24 October 2002 | Page 07 Government urged to grant refugees loans: Advocate says policy means local refugees unable to afford education

by Lindsay Harding says her organization is one of lengthy to change and it certainly loans program. crimination that impact refugees The Muse many groups now petitioning gov­ will take time," she said. "I really The provinces contribute 40 per locally. She says Newfoundland ernment to bring forth legislation can't comment because this is cent of the loan a student receives, sees a number of refugees heing ST. John's, NJld. (CUP) similar to the defeated bill. decided by parliamentarians, not while Ottawa provides the remain­ denied access to student loans. "We are urging . . . the federal gov­ by bureaucrats." der. For this reason, provincial "Taking a certain year, you could ernment and the provincial govern­ Bench, however, says the issue has authorities say it would be ineffec­ say there were 15, or 20, or maybe LTHOUGH GOVERNMENT ments and the territorial govern­ been talked about for long enough tive to pursue changes without fed­ 25 [refugees] that were ready for ments ... to change their criteria and the federal government's lack eral support. university education, or to continue A for access to the loans Sandra Kelly, or to go back into, and they could­ officials are considering and bursaries so that it's Newfoundland's minis­ n't," she said. changes to the legisla­ not only citizens and "Any extension outside of (citi­ ter responsible for post- "So it depends on what you call tion outlining access to Canada permanent residents secondary education, large. These are people that would Student Loans for refugees, advo­ that are eligible but also zens and permanent residents) says changes made only benefit if they could get into the cates say the process has already refugees," she said. in the province would university - they'd obviously have gone on too long. would need changes in the act Katalin Deczky, a poli­ not have an impact and to get a loan, there's no way they Human Resources Development cy director for the the issue needs to be could go through." Canada (HRDC) administers the and, therefore, parliament Canada Student Loans examined nationally. Ally Ayoob, president of Memorial federal student loan program under program, says HRDC is "I would like to ask that University's International Student the Student Financial Assistance approval," she said. "It's cer­ considering such a it be put on the agenda Centre, says he knows of cases Act. According to the act, refugees move. [of the Canadian Council where refugees attending Memorial cannot obtain Canada Student tainly under consideration." "Any extension outside of Ministers of have had to delay their education Loans because only landed immi­ of [citizens and perma­ Education] because I due to lack of funding. He says the grants and Canadian citizens are nent residents] would need changes of action is delaying the process know that there are other changes struggle to finance post-secondary eligible. in the act and, therefore, parlia­ provincially. that are needed to the Canada education is a problem for everyone Two years ago, a private member's ment approval," she said. "It's cer­ in society. bill proposed the words "protected "It's been discussed for years and Student Loan program," she said. tainly under consideration." person" be added to the Act's defi­ it seems to take forever to actually "We have so few people who "Financially, [refugees are] not nition of a qualifying student, thus According to Deczky, granting get to happen," she said. become refugees in Newfoundland . safe. So that means they have to allowing refugees in Canada to refugees access to student loans has "Some of [the provincial govern­ . . it would be very uncommon here resort to any small job and that apply for financial assistance. already been brought up at meet­ ments] were willing to indicate to in our province to have refugees [causes] lack of education - they The bill, presented by Toronto MP ings of the National Advisory Group the federal government that they who were looking at attending uni­ can't go to school," he said. Bill Graham on behalf of human on Student Financial Assistance, would be willing to make the versity." He says the government is "not rights lobbyists, was defeated when which makes recommendations to change if the federal government However, Donna Geoffreys, direc­ improving the underclass people, it it failed to attract all parties' sup­ Stewart about changes to the loans made the first move." tor of the Refugee and Immigrant won't be improving the economy if port in the House of Commons. program. Both federal and provincial gov­ Advisory Council in St. John's, says you don't give [refugees] the chance Janet Bench, executive director of "Acts of parliament are quite ernments contribute to the student the regulations are a form of dis­ and financial support." the Canadian Council for Refugees,

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miss this argument. city-wide referendum on the upgrade ofthe Sea-to-Sky Highway, Translink initiative. If anything. by Duncan M. McHugh "That's an absolutely ridiculous Olympic bid. a somewhat treacherous two-lane Corca sees thc Olympics benefiting Eeatures Bureau remark," says Johal. "That's exactly "If we're elected from COPE," savs road that links Vancouver to a rail link proposal. what they said during Expo 86, and Green, "we will hold a referendum Vancouver (CUP) Whistler, two hours away. While "All the Olympic bid serves to do that's exactly what they said during in this city. The reason for that is- critics see it as an unnecessary to, with any initiative [like the air­ Salt Lake City...The idea that we it's not even that we're against tbe Olympic expense, the bid corpora­ port rail link], would be to maybe have enough hotel rooms doesn't Olympics—we know that if there's a OR MANY VANCOUVERITES, tion and the province disagree. put something on the agenda a bit take into account the lower end of referendum, the Olympic bid com­ 1986 WAS A watershed "What the bid corporation sup­ sooner, rather than later." he says. the market, which is-essentially- mittee will have to get out and give year. It was the year that ports is an expansion ofthe road for "But, this is not an Olympic proj­ F where the evictions will happen." all the information thev refuse to the city hosted Fxpo 86, a World capacity and safety issues, not for a ect." Johal cites figures like the 8000 give to us, so we can have an open Exposition that garnered the city super-highway, as some people Public transportation within people that were displaced by the and conscious debate on whether unprecedented worldwide attention 1996 Summer Games in Atlanta and it's good or bad." and respect. It was a shining the example of the United Slates' "And that's totally missing at the moment in the city's history, which Central Intelligence Agency and moment," he adds. "You have $35 coincided with the city's centenary. other groups evicting whole apart­ million in propaganda for the But as with most major events, ment buildings in Salt Lake City, as Olympic bid; they're pumping it out there was a dark underbelly to Expo features situations that must be avoided. every day...with our money and a 86. group like ours, the IOCC, doesn't The planning committee for the The IOCC's solution to this: an have a nickel, no staffer anything.' six-month long fair was criticized anti-conversion and demolition by­ Johal agrees with this. for its lack of consultation with law, which would protect the community groups. Expo 86 had a DTES's low-income housing. "Trying to get information out to dramatic effect on the city's impov­ "That wouldn't cost the city a nick­ the public in an objective way is really difficult when the Pacific erished neighborhoods, particularly have talked about," says Sam Corea, Vancouver is something the bid el," says Johal. "All it would do is to Press Group—which owns The in the Downtown Eastside (DTES), director of Media Relations for the corporation has big hopes for. set the terms by which a low rent a neighborhood notorious for drug bid corporation. He says that a Similar to strategics at this year's hotel would be able to change [Vancouver] Sun and The use and homelessness. It was in the modest three-lane road would be Winter Games in Salt Lake City and over...[it protects] against people Province—is donating a million dol­ DTES that mass evictions took sufficient for the International last year's Track and Field World being evicted in a very immediate lars in free advertising. The B.C. place, with the loss of more than Olympic Committee (IOC), the Championships in Edmonton, way, which is where the worst Association of Broadcasters is IOOO housing units and eviction- body that will choose the 2010 host Vancouver organizers hope to health implications happen." These donating three million and Jimmy related deaths. city next July. (Currently, include transportation with tickets health concerns stem from deaths Pattison Billboards is donating free For many in the DTES. the memo­ Vancouver-Whistler is in competi­ to Olympic events. that happened when people were billboards," he says. ry of what happened with Expo is tion with Salzburg, Austria and "This encourages public transit at forced onto the street during Expo. For the record, NPA mayoral can­ still fresh in their minds, and it's Pyeongchang, South Korea to host all venues," says Corea. "We're The only hitch: Vancouver City didate Jennifer Clarke says she this lingering frustration that's the Games. Bern, Switzerland, the hoping that, as an off-shoot of that, Council just defeated the motion opposes a referendum, saying that pushing their opposition to the fourth short-listed candidate city when people get used to taking that would have put the anti-con­ the Olympics are "going to go ahead Vancouver-Whistler bid to host the recently dropped out of competi­ transit for a couple of weeks, that- version and demolition by-law in anyways." B.C. Premier Gordon 2010 Winter Olympics. tion after voters there turned down down the road—they would include place. And this is where the future Campbell has also firmly rejected "It's so similar it's frightening," a request for money by their bid public transit in their regular trans­ of the bid becomes unclear. In less the possibility of a referendum for says Jim Green, University of corporation.) portation plans." than a month, Vancouver will hold the province. British Columbia (UBC) professor, "The bid has always said, right It's this kind of socially responsi­ it's civic election. Depending on For more information on the longtime DTES activist and mem­ from the start, that anything that ble thinking that the IOCC argues is the results of that election, the bid Vancouver-Whistler 2010 Olympic ber of the Impact of the Olympics needs to be renovated or changed sorely missing from most aspects of could go two different ways. A win bid, visit the bid corporation's web­ on the Community Committee on the Sea-to-Sky Highway has to the planning process for the bid. by the party that has dominated the site at www.winter2010.com, or the (IOCC). a group that is calling on meet the long term needs of the Nowhere is this more apparent than last several elections, the Non­ IOCC's website, www.olympics- those organizing Vancouver's bid to community," says Corea. "The with the question of housing. partisan Association (NPA), would forall.ca —with files from Lisa be more accountable and socially- Premier...says that there will be an Preliminary discussions about the mean the maintenance ofthe status Johnson responsible. improvement to the Sea-to-Sky Games' Athletes' Village had the quo; a COPE victory would mean a "You've got the same players Highway because of safety and facility being built at UBC and there," says Green, who is running capacity issues for the people of the turned into residences after the for Vancouver City Council on corridor. It's not going to be a six- Olympics, or nearer downtown and November 16 as a member of the lane freeway; it's not going to be a used for social housing. The plan Coalition of Progressive Electors freeway through the watershed — now is for the Athletes' Village to be (COPE). "They've got the same type that is not on the table. He says the built on the South East side of False of attitude, and the attitude with improvements will be no more than Creek, next to the Cambie Street these hallmark events is virtually S670 million, as part of the overall Bridge, across the water from the the same always, which is: 'We're provincial transportation initia­ old Expo site. The area, which is not responsible for anything that is tive." already slated for development by not directly related to what we are Johal, however, wonders what cost the City of Vancouver, would house doing. So if hotel owners are kick­ a renovated, but expensive 2500 athletes and would be handed ing people out—it's not our fault, Vancouver-Whistler corridor will over to the city after the Games. we have nothing to do with that.'" have on the rest of the province. "Working with the Olympic bid While concern about low-income "I'm up in Williams Lake right corporation," says Corea, "[the city] housing is a primary one, it is but now, and the passenger rail service could use the facilities —post- one of a number of worries that into Williams Lake and Prince Games—for a variety of uses, some critics have of the games. Most George [in North Central B.C.] is of which has been identified as criticism of the bid lies in the going to be cut, as of the end of this affordable housing. So that is very tremendous cost of hosting the month. So if, on the one hand, important to the City of Vancouver, Games. An estimated $6 billion we're looking at creating some kind and they're working to ensure that will be needed to finance the 17-day of great transportation system the contribution that we make long event, money that—given BC's along the Sea-to-Sky Highway by towards the venue has a legacy- current state of near-universal gov­ 2010, but—in the meantime—we're benefit, after the fact." ernmental cutbacks—some say may cutting transportation routes like In terms of evictions of those liv­ be misdirected. rail transportation into the interi­ ing in the DTES, Corea doesn't see "We're very concerned about the or...it's going to be a questionable this as much of an issue. cost of the bid, how it's being investment." "We're not really looking at the financed," says Green. "It's very Another potential high cost project single-room occupancy [hotels], hard not to believe that the cuts is a SkyTrain link from downtown because that really isn't a factor for that we see to welfare, the disabled, to the Vancouver International the Olympic period in 2010," he to education, all the things that are Airport in Richmond. SkyTrain, says. "We hear...[that the [OCC's] being torn up—the human rights Vancouver's rapid transit system, main concern is...that some greedy commissions—all of those arc being was originally built for Expo 86 landlord would want to convert for done, in part, to finance the and, while popular, has been criti­ the long term to cash in. But really, Olympic bid." cized for its high infrastructure lo convert one room for a 17 day "The Olympics aren't just about cost. period, you would never recoup sports," says Am Johal, a former "The so-called 'subway to the air­ your investment." UBC student union executive and port' is not required by the Olympic Corea cites Expo 86's six-month spokesperson for the IOCC. "In bid committee," says Green. "So length as a contributing factor to fact, they're about public spending these things are all being done I lor the evictions that took place. priorities, because we have to the Olympics] —it's not really Furthermore, he feels that —with decide how to invest our required—so, we wonder why it's 23,000 hotel rooms in the greater dollars...The Gaines don't pay for heing done." Vancouver area and an additional themselves." Corea agrees that the bid corpora­ 5000 in whistler Vancouver will A major target for criticism of tion is not asking for a rail link to have enough accommodations Olympic spending is the proposed the airport, which he considers a come 2010. Johal is quick to dis­ Entertainment The Meliorist | Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 09 You Cam Take it With You - Idealistically odd and eccentrically moral

by Danielle Crossland dancing all the time, unfortunately, Kolenkhov started wrestling with rassment and yet intense love that play, although quite humourous, Entertainment Editor in her years of lessons, she did not Mr. Kirby, Anthony's father. Alice had for her family and the appears to seriously address tin- improve. According to her dance Anthony's parents had come over desire that they could have been need for people to relax, and not teacher, Mr. Kolenkhov who I'll for a meet-the-family meal, and normal instead of who they were. take themselves or life too serious­ HE UNIVERSITY DRAMA introduce more later, Essie is "ter­ were literally thrown into the expe­ Most people have wished at one ly. The need to learn to have fun. to department kicked off rible." Essie's husband is Ed rience unprepared. It was an event­ time or another to have had a dif­ enjoy life, even if it means being a T this year with one fantas­ Carmichael, who is almost exactly ful dinner, with wrestling, the J- ferent family because they were little eccentric. tic play! It was both entertaining like Harry Solomon from the TV men (.justice department) arresting embarrassing or something. This and didactic with a very unconven­ show Third Rock From the Sun, everyone and the basement blowing tional approach. In attempting to except he did not scpiint like him. up because of all the fireworks. reveal the importance of heing able His mannerisms are very distinct, Anthony's parents refused to sup­ to relax in life, many odd or per­ small and quirky. He plays the port the engagement because they haps crazy, things are done by the xylophone, prints stuff (stuff he has thought that the family was too Why Bother? characters. The basic storyline is heard) on his printing press and odd. Alice also realized that the aboul a girl. Alice Sycamore (played delivers Essie's candy to neigh­ families would never work well by Madeleine Somerville excitement and commitment to by Jessie van Rijn), from a middle bours. One of the best examples to together, so she broke off the Entertainment Writer my first year studies, (okay, class family getting married to a demonstrate how naive and simple engagement and almost moved pretty much only the first guy, Anthony Kirby (Chris Stafford- both Essie and Ed are, is when they away, except that good old Grandpa semester of first year...) has Mayer), from an upper class, are told by Penny to have a baby interfered. ITH MORE THAN HALF quickly been degraded into wealthy family. The main issue at and they say "okay, but we'll have to 1 have not mentioned Grandpa yet of my multitudi­ boredom, discontent and com­ hand though, is not their class dif­ ask Grandpa first." What does because he deserves special atten­ W nous midterms mitment to something else. I'm ferences, but rather, the eccentrici­ Grandpa have to do with them hav­ tion. I could not help but feel that and papers behind me, I'm just not sure what. ty of Alice's family and household. ing a baby? And, they do not even the play centred around Grandpa, starting to relax and take it a bit Not having any definite plans Each family member (or non-mem­ think twice about it, they just say, otherwise know as Martin slower, come down from all as to what I'd replace the five ber who just happens to be present) "it'll be fun." Vanderhof (Chip Barr). The fact those necessity induced cram hours I spend at the U every day sessions and caffeine binges. with, I am hesitant to 'drop out' And the question occupying my or even take a semester or a year mind lately has nothing to do off. with how I'm going to get it all Ideally I'd like to write a novel, done, but why I'm doing it at all. but somehow the idea seems entertainment Of course I'm here to better unrealistic. Believing however, myself, enrich my mind and that my habits are suddenly- broaden my perspectives, but I going to change is perhaps even find myself constantly wonder­ less plausible. How can one ing, am I really doing it? Do I choose a textbook over a night treat my classes as valuable out with friends? Or sit in the deserves to be described, as they Mr. Kolenkhov is Essie's Russian that Essie and Ed had to ask him if learning sessions or some sort library and attempt to study are each equally veiy odd. Alice's dance teacher who talks more about they could have a baby, or that din­ of uncalled for punishment to mere steps away from the puls­ mother, Penny Sycamore (Anna- Russia than teach dance. He is ner did not start until he was home. simply endure after a long night ing beat and debauchery of the Maria LeMaistre), has a few hob­ quite stoic which strongly differen­ He is the first one who quit his "day out? Too often I find myself Zoo? Even lazier pursuits such bies such as painting portraits and tiates him from the other household job" so he could start to have fun in simply suffering through what as sitting on a couch watching writing plays, that she takes very members. He seems to be one of life. In the end, he is the one that are often genuinely interesting re-runs of your favorite TV show- seriously. She started writing plays the permanent parts of the house­ fixes everything up. He gets the classes, waiting for the minute triumph over studying. I when a typewriter was accidentally hold. Donald and Rheba are the couple back together and even con­ hand to make its rounds and haven't yet found a solution to sent to their house. Most people house servants, and although not as vinces Anthony's father to relax a release me. I postpone readings this problem and I fear I'm sim­ would send it back, but she kept it quirky as the rest of the family and bit, and not take life too seriously. in classes I got up at five a.m. to ply too social, too willing to dis­ and started writing plays that were associates, they too are easily excit­ That is the fun part of this whole enlist in and when I encounter miss school and procrastinate often of a sensual nature. I'm ed and just as involved with the play; although it is idealistically problems I simply gloss them until I'm left frantic, rushing unsure of how many times Penny family as the rest. odd, it is also eccentrically moral. over instead of taking advantage and scribbling my way to a said the word "sex" throughout the The last one I will describe is In the humour there appears to be a of most professors' open-door lower grade. Which begs the play, but she certainly had a preoc­ Anthony Kirby. He is from a non- little message intended. Most of us policies and generous allot­ question, if it's not what I truly cupation with it and her attitude eccentric family, who considered could probably relate to the embar- ments of office hours. My want to do. why bother? towards the men in the play was themselves "normal." Anthony at quite flirty. The two perfect words I first appears very naive, but as the choose to describe Penny: flirty and play progresses he comes across as flighty. strong and secure in knowing who Alice's father, Paul Sycamore he is. JL HE JL OP IJLAT (Thomas Demkey), appears to be a Now, 1 could go on describing the very absent minded and yet child­ rest in detail, but it is time to get like man who's keen interest is in into the review aspect. The 1940's GENTLEMENS CLUB making fireworks. Mr. DePinna style of music was not only great in (Gavin Williams), Paul's friend as preparing the setting, it was also well as a permanent part of the fun to listen to before the show Now S~hx>M)Lvu^ household, is also part of the fire­ started and during intermission. work manufacturing in the base­ Oh, except when the people ment ofthe house. Although we are around you are being extremely Ivanna Seymour not told much about Mr. DePinna, noisy! (Just as a side note, when we do discover that he just came to the lights go down and the curtain Holly Brooks the house one day - years ago - and goi-s up, it is a sign to be quiet. never left. Since then he ha.s been Okay, back to the show). Honey extremely busy modelling for The backdrop was one of the best Penny's paintings and making fire­ I have seen of the university plays. Araya Sunshine works. He is a dramatic, yet shy, It was cozy and warm with the red, bachelor type. Oh, and the fire­ orange and yellow colours. It was works in the basement, well they also very unique with a xylophone, got busted and blown up by private typewriter, printer, dinner table investigators, even though neither and snakes all in the same room. men realized what they were doing One of the first things that every­ was illegal. one noticed and began to "ooh" and "aww" at was the live kitten Ladle Essie Carmichael (Jordana drinking milk on the desk. The kit­ Hawkins), is Alice's sister. She 1 ten was a terrific idea, very appears to spend all day at home, Night * authentic. The play itself was making candy and dancing. riotously funny! Essie was always Character-wise, she is very sweet dancing, Penny was always talking and simple, hut considering that about some new sex plot in her lat­ she Is an adult, she did not appear est "play" and the two firework to act like one or share the respon­ manufacturers were always run­ sibilities of one; although, to be ning up with some new firework to fair, no one in the family really^ show off. I think the funniest part, does, Essie seems to he stuck in or at least the part in which I childhood and, like a little girl who laughed the hardest was when Mr. longs to be a dancer, Essie practices "Some things should not be left to the imagination" You are the leaders of tomorrow.

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www.dumaurierartscouncil.ca The Meliorist | Thursday, 24 October 2002 | Page 12 Entertainment

I •

*«, fentertainment - Hear and Now The Meliorist Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 13 Hot Water Music - Beck - Sea Change

by Ryan Anderson his. The first is the twang ol defective / Like a paper tiger in Entertainment Writer "Guess I'm Doing Fine." the sun." Camion This song elaborates on the He also attempts to provide pains of losing a loved one to a such reasoning in "Lost Cause" ITH THE RELEASE breakup. Even though the as in "Paper Tiger" through a by Abi Huynh another great hardcore band. With flying of his eighth lyrics suggest that breakups connection of the chorus to the Creative Designer chords and great bass lines this band has album, I think allow freedom with "I can do last lines of the song. "Baby its intensity cranked high and never even w that Beck has finally found what ever pleases me," the cho­ you're lost / Baby you're lost / gives the impression of easing up. The what he's been looking for as a rus refutes freedom as being a Baby you're a lost cause / I'm ANKED HIGH AMONGST THE BEST unique timbre of Ragan's vocals is very musician. Unfortunately, it benefit and displays that it tired of fighting / I'm tired of melodic neo-hardcore bands easily identified over the clamorous .today is without a second splendor of their music. With contempo­ thought Hot Water Music. With a rary punk rock rising in popularity every­ tremendous following already trailing in day it is popularly agreed upon that their wake, these four are setting fires in HWM is one of the bands on the cutting the hearts of punkers with blazing guitars edge. Their razor sharp song writing and hear and now and potent vocal styiings. Fine, I haven't lyrics give them a depth that many of the been a fan from the beginning (way back pop-punk artists right now pale in com­ to Finding the Rhythms in 1995). and the parison to. With lines filled with pain first time I heard these guys was actually like "You were tenderly afflicted / and usually takes a life fighting / Fighting for a lamenting experience lost cause." Beck is r to bring out the best in very direct here in an artist's work. Sea manifesting his person­ uot|JE££i Change, his latest al feelings and giving release, was conceived listeners something to after Beck ended a long relate to in our own time relationship with lives. And the thing his girlfriend. that impresses me According to the lyrics about the album is that of the songs on the it isn't just in the few- album, Beck appears to songs shown here, but music evident in all his works have really suffered )n Punk-O-Rama 6 with "Jack of All frozen in your place / with your wonder­ from the apparently on Sea Change. Trades." Proof yet again that such sam­ ful tears / and the tortures you faced / traumatic episode. In a CD review. plers do work, I sought out more music but you wouldn't move anyway / not for Every song on Sea Rolling Stone Magazine from this inspiring quartet and I haven't anyone". As well as expressions of wide Change seems to allude gave background on the felt a hint of discontent. generalized views like "One step started to this harsh breakup album and some other Their newest release entitled Caution is every single evolution / then sent them in a poetic fashion that emu­ doesn't balance the pain of influences behind the record. in stores now, only about a year since the away spinning / off in constant revolu­ lates Beck's discomforting loss. "It's only lies that I'm liv­ "Just as Mutations was Beck's utterly amazing release A Flight and A tions / it's one step to slip / off the edge anguish. From the first track ing / It's only tears that I'm homage to Tropicalia Brazil's Crash. Hot Water Music features Chuck to go fumbling / and I'm all for the fall." to the twelfth, the record pro­ crying / It's only you that I'm late 1960s revolution in art, Ragan (Vocals, Guitar), Chris Wollard It isn't hard to enjoy the music these guys vides almost an hour of his losing / Guess I'm doing fine." sound and romanticism, Sea (Vocals, Guitar), Jason Black (Bass), and produce, with their varied song struc­ lament over something that The last line of the chorus also Change suggests that Beck has George Robelo on the drums. HWM is tures with little repetition in some and has painfully strummed his expresses Beck's misconcep­ been studying the British early further evidence that being on Epitaph inherently catchy choruses in others. broken heartstrings. But at the tion that he's "doing fine" in 1970s school of psychedelic- doesn't mean you suck, as some punk The tracks that stick out the most from same time, each masterpiece of despite his efforts to cope with come-down melancholy." The fans always attest. Caution is already this album are undeniably "Remedy", "I a song provides something that the grievance in his heart. most widely recognized music causing quite a stir on the online punk Was on a Mountain", "Not for Anyone", people can relate to. The other two songs that rag around, which also has one rock community, with hardcore fans "Trusty Chords" and "Wayfarer" (most Without having to reveal a stood out to me gave further of the most extensive music comparing this to the riveting No likely familiar to owners of Epitaph's lat­ series of past transgressions, insight on Beck. In "Guess I'm review sections available in Division Full Length from 1999 and some est comp). The artwork that goes into or expound upon my own past Doing Fine" Beck paints a pic­ print, also gave Sea Change a express the belief that this is their Caution is very reminiscent of almost all love since lost, I feel safe in ture of pain through his lyrics, perfect five siar "Classic" rat­ strongest album yet. Behind this album of HWM's past releases using a very cool saying that even I am able to but "Paper Tiger" and "Lost ing. So whether it comes from is the famed Brian McTernan who has abstract art style (courtesy of SINC the relate to Beck through his Cause" indicate reasoning me or David Fricke of Rolling produced many major acts including The ones behind the cover art for A Flight and lyrics. They not only portray behind the album promoting Stone, Sea Change has some Promise Ring, Six Going On Seven, A Crash). This album's infectious his feelings, but also provide breakup. In "Paper Tiger" he merit in expounding on the •lesuseater, Strike Anywhere, Thrice, melodies will capture your attention and new insight on the aftermath of does this through a progres­ pains of love comparable to Milemarker, and Trial By Fire. will definitely become an underground love. sion of lyrics chaining the last that which all of us feel from McTernan continues to help pump out epidemic. If the hardcore and even emo I felt that there were a few verse to a final repetition of the time to time. I recommend the new injections of hardcore into a once styling of punk rock interests you then I songs in particular that not chorus. "We're just holding on record as a worthy purchase considered stagnate scene. highly suggest you pick this gem up and only demonstrated the com­ to nothing / To see how long that would prove beneficial if you're one seeking consolation. Hot Water Music is no doubt one of the to misquote Epitaph, go and buy it before mon post-relationship atti­ nothing lasts / Oh deserts down below us / And storms up hardest working bands in the industry, the world ends. tude, but that also gave notions above / Like a stray dog gone currently they are touring with Thrice, of what Beck actually felt in Jurassic 5 - Power in Numbers est feats in my opinion is always from the basic one apparent beat of Jurassic 5 as well as live perform­ by Abi Huynh behind these are the D,Js Cut coming up with new sounds, Cut many rappers and gives J5 musical ance footage from various shows. Creative Designer Chemist (also of Ozomatli) and Nu- mark. Fronting the band with lyri­ Chemist and Nu-mark are almost depth to back to lines. The J5 Yet more proof of the wide appeal cal ambition and quality are MCs instinctive in their ability to mix sound is always changing with of J5 is that thev are welcomed on new sounds from older records and some songs featuring fast almost many tours even in the past, the URASSIC 5 HAS BEEN AROUND Chali 2na, Akil, Zaakir (Soup), and unconscious rap and other punk rock filled Warped tours. If the musical block and Marc 7, household names for tracks slowing down in the you were lucky you would have J their masses of fans know every fan of this type of hip- variable Jurassic fashion. The caught Jurassic 5 on Warped a cou­ they are one ofthe most progressive hop. If you're a fan of such vocal aspect of J5 is consis­ ple years back when they swung by elements in hip-hop music today. groups as Blackalicious, Del La Soul, Mos Def, Ugly tently golden and with lines the Calgary date. It's suffice to say this album Duckling and Swollen like "What means the world to Songs which really make this reminds me of a Cooter song, Members you'll find strange me is being free / Live and let album shine are 'If You Only Knew', 'Something for Everyone' in that refuge in the fun and powerful live and just let it be / Love, 'Break', 'What's Golden', 'Thin almost anyone can find a song on underground harmony this peace and harmony one uni­ Line', and 'Sum of Us'. 'Thin Line' this disc that seizes their interest. group displays. Some of their versal family," their lyrics featuring Nelly Furtado is a great Prom the classic J5 with nod-induc­ songs remind me of older ing heats and trademark lyrical actually require thought, track which combines classic groups like Souls of Mischief liveliness to almost pop-like genre unlike a excess of groups on Jurassic 5 with pop sensibilities, or even Delinquent Habits, defining songs. Jurassic 5 is taking the generic slab of rap and and 'Sum of Us' is a commanding with influential cultural refer­ it back to the concrete streets with hip-hop. social commentary. On the other ences and thought provoking original beats and real live MCs. Ifyou are thinking about get­ hand 'What's Golden' is destined to concepts this album is again a Power in Numbers' follows their ting this album go and get it be a party anthem lor hip-hop fol­ sure winner. while the limited edition ver­ lowers with a brain. Jurassic 5 is ground-breaking album 'Quality sion (blue cover) is in store pushing hip-hop to new levels with Control' which sparked numerous There are some guest to make new sounds with bizarre because it is a two disc release with every album as exemplified with the evolutions and revolutions in hip- appearances on this album from big instruments (courtesy of Nu-mark). the second disc being a very cool resoundingly truthful words of bop. Behind the winning formula names like Big Daddy Kane, Percee These new and oft times amazing DVD. The DVD features a glimpse lor every song from .Jurassic 5 >s P, as well as pop sensation Nelly Marc 7, "Every time out, .If) won't sounds helps set Jurassic 5 apart at tbe life of all the members in great beats anil the masterminds Purtado. One of Jurassic 5's great­ disappoint." The Meliorist | Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 14 Entertainment - The Aisle Seat Meanwhile at Moon My Big Fat Palace... Greek Wedding by Madeleine Somerville unappreciated! All the films tune accordingly. It was a perfection. The movie her initial sighting of Ihe Entertainment Writer were remarkable in their vari­ wildly creative Story that by Tessa Bruce-Brown ety and scope, and out of the makes you think twice about Entertainment Writer starts out with a shot of a male lead (which definitely seven there was only one that discarding those tiny slips of ear moving through snowy induced a "Yowza" response streets, and then cuts to a in her, and a little in me. N OCTOBER 16TH, I looked forward to the end of. paper. shot ofa woman looking (to too), there aren't any devel­ 2002 the JV«i7s a documentary directed The other film that stood out HIS SATURDAY I by Phillip Borsos following was Meanwhile. Genie-nomi­ went to see A/.iy put it mildly) like hell. opments in the love-interest O She's got circles under her arena until she's already Southern Alberta the many. many, steps it takes nated for Best Live Action T Big Fat Greek Art Gallerj held its Short Film to manufacture nails, was as Short Film. Focusing on a Wedding, fully intending to eyes, she's wearing what has improved her education. showcase at the Cineplex dull and monotonous as it popular cafe and the slice of review it the instant I got to be about five sweaters, gotten her dream job, and Odeon. I love short films but home - the only problem? I and her hair is even worse gained a heck ofa lot of con­ got so engrossed in the film than mine usually is. She fidence in the process. that I forgot to even consid­ and the man driving the car I would love to tell you er my review while I (her father, it turns out), go more about the plot (I really watched it. I had to go see it again this Tuesday to get a MY hold on it! This weekend it passed The Blair Witch BICiHArrCiRZXK Project as the most success­ WEDDING can definitely understand sounds. The film lacked any life contained within, the ful indie film ever, and with EtflW how some might not share narration or even a musical audience watches as every­ good reason. The first time i,ths«P this passion and duly felt score to clear the grating thing is threatened by a bomb I went in expecting your tvo*rh« more than a little guilty drag­ sounds of machinery from placed surreptitiously under average chick-flick (I'm ging along my unsuspecting one's skull. The camera fol­ the table. A lover's quarrel, a usually right, which some­ times leaves me wondering boyfriend for company. lowed the metal as it was flirtatious old man, a dieter 0+** However, I was surprised to transported from one trying to resist bacon and why I bother), but this time discover, when the lights went machine to another, for what eggs, and all the interaction I got far more than I hoped on at the end of the showcase seemed like hours. I might within the cafe is continually for. that instead of a sullen bitter have missed a very valuable contrasted with screen shots Written by and starring into a Greek restaurant can't stop rambling about man vowing to make me sit social commentary buried of the ticking bomb. I was on Winnipeg-born actress Nia named Dancing Zorba's, this movie!), but I don't through every awful shoot 'em deep within the machinery the edge of my seat waiting to Vardalos, this comes as a which they own. want to spoil it for you. up action movie he could find and its almost sexual see the outcome, which, welcome relief from the Immediately, cynic that I Suffice it to say that they as revenge, my boyfriend was rhythms, but to me it just although very creative, will recent spat of crap romantic am, I rolled my eyes, assum­ manage to develop a very possibly more appreciative of seemed awfully boring com­ remain undisclosed... comedies on the scene. For ing that this would be one of nice relationship without the films than I was. pared with the other pieces The festival was an incredi­ one thing, it's bloody nice to those "slightly chubby any of the soap opera mis­ And what's not to appreci­ showcased during this event. bly stimulating way to spice see an actress who isn't your actress loses weight to the understandings you get in ate? The evening began with One such piece was Moon up the week and a great way average skinny blonde point of starvation, puts on so many romantic "come­ the short film Hockey Stories Palace a fabulously imagina­ to showcase some of Canada's California girl actually play­ a ton of make-up, and wins dies." I was very impressed directed by Kim Thompson, a tive story about a young man best short films, given a two- ing a part other than the the man of her dreams" to say the least - this one sort of animated storybook recruited to fabricate the thumbs up by not only an art "wacky" best friend. Not type-flicks. I was quickly definitely comes with a chronology of three great famous predictions found enthusiast, but a regular guy. being one of that endlessly disabused of this notion, glowing recommendation hockey legends, narrated by within fortune cookies, with Now all I have to do is suffer popular set myself; it's though, as she proceeded to from yours truly. Go see it! Gordon Pinsent. It was a fun information gleaned by eaves­ through two hours of careful­ always a relief to see a change her life without the Now! I don't care if you're dropping on patron's conver­ look at Canada's national pas­ ly choreographed fight scenes movie in which the actress­ slightest prompting from studying - you'll have more sations and writing the for- time, one that did not go as payback. es are less than airbrushed desire for a hubby. Beyond fun at this flick! Knockaround Guys is a knock-off

by Kyle Marshall perception has still not changed. was twelve-years-old. This has Entertainment Writer Besides which. Vin Diesel is in the haunted him ever since. Now that movie and he continues to be my he has grown up. and his father is arch-nemesis. This guy simply out of jail, Matty wants to join his SAW THE NEW MOVIE plays the same character over and pop (Dennis Hopper) in his organ­ over again but with a different ized crime business after he cannot I name. I was tired of him from the find employment anywhere else Knockaround Guys under a first time 1 saw him. (Perhaps I'm (because of his father's name). His certain amount of duress, it being overly harsh, I like Harrison dad is skeptical and he apparently wasn't as if I was completely set Ford and he falls in pretty much the can't get past Matty's failings as a against it, in fact I really had no same category). son either. Eventually the second choice in the matter. I was being Barry Pepper (you may remember in command (played by John driven home from the Thanksgiving him as the cross-toting soldier in Malkovich) convinces him that weekend and the ear decided to Saving Private Ryan) plays Matty, Matty can take the job. catch a movie in Calgary. How who was unable to kill the man who Matty enlists the help of his friend could a lover of movies say no? put his father in jail (supposedly) played by Seth Green who happens However, to me the movie looked when he had the chance when he to be a pilot (and a crack addict) more like the kind you can wait who i.s to pick up a bag of money until it comes out on video. My and bring it back to New York. However, when at a small airport in a small town to fuel up the plane, thev lose the bag and Matty and his other two friends played by Andrew Davoli and Vin Diesel have to try anil get the money back from a town more corrupted than the mob. There is actually some pretty decent acting in the movie besides Vin Diesel's. The major criticism I have is that I just don'l care about tbe characters. 1 could not have cared less if Matty achieves his goals or noi. Hollywood is just not giving enough time for us to get to know the characters. Slow­ down and devote twenty minutes so al least I know something about them. In the end, this movie is an alright popcorn flick. However wail until it comes out on DVD and rent il to save your­ Mon-Wed, 9:30am - 7:00pm / Thurs - Fri 9:30am - 9:00pm self five bucks. Sat 9:00am - 5:30 / Sun 12pm - 5pm Located in the Park Place mall > 320 -1117 > 320 -1140 Hm mi Mats m p trust iflt/itf mi sports The Meliorist Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 15 Pronghorns1 Women',. , s rug kes undefeated in silve^r

by Chris Brown at the conclusion of the season, only Editor-in-Chief missing out on the Outstanding eight games Player award. Amy Whitmore was named the Rookie of the Year in HE UNIVERSITY OF LETHB- Canada West play, and Neil Canada West Hockey October 19th. tive goals, including two on the ridge Women's Rugby Langevin took home the Coach of Press Release Three first period goals gave the powerplay, in a span of 3:06 to T team proved that last the Year honour. Pronghorns a 3-0 lead and they take a 4-1 lead and added two year's Bronze Medal was no fluke Along with these two great hon­ stood up as Lethbridge earned a more markers before the and did the University proud this ours, three members of the team FTER BEING ON THE SIDE- 3-1 win in tbe series opener. Thunderbirds could score their past weekend in Edmonton, coming were named to the All-Star team. lines for the past two Kelly Lang, Ryan Epp and Chad second goal. Thirteen of the home with a Silver Medal in the Charlotte Riley was named at tight A weekends as the other Kletzel scored single goals for Pronghorns' 17 skaters dressed Canada West Championships. head prop, Evelyn McGunigal as six Canada West Hockey teams Lethbridge and Epp, who netted for the game registered at least a Though the team fell 36-0 to the open side flanker and Ursulas began conference play, the the game-winner with a PPG at point in the victory, while eight defending national champion Patterson, last week's Pronghorn Lethbridge Pronghorns began 11:07, added an assist for a two- had multiple-point games. Jeff Alberta Pandas, they fought hard all Female Athlete of the Week, was their conference season with a point game to lead the Neufeld, who returned to the weekend and fully deserve to be con­ selected at fly half. sweep of UBC, defeating the visit­ Pronghorns offence. Corey lineup for the first time since gratulated for their outstanding Congratulations go out to all mem­ ing Thunderbirds 3-1 and 8-2 at Lafreniere scored a shorthanded September 22nd, and Mike efforts throughout the entire season. bers of the team, and with their last Nicholas Sheran Arena. goal for UBC's only goal of the Collens led the way with a goal The team's performance evidently two successful seasons there is no Lethbridge, which hasn't lost a night. Cam Dodd, a transfer stu­ and two assists each. Kelly Lang, impressed many people as the place to go but to the Gold Medal game in a month since dropping a dent from the Southern Alberta Charlie Mattersdorfer, Chad Pronghorns were awarded two ofthe next vear. three individual honours given out

DDD

Top 10 new things in the NHL this year

1. The protective nets are actually made ol licorice. It is just a cruel joke played by the owners.

2. Canadian teams' goals will count at the current currency excahge rate to assist leveling out the playing field. II.. 1 CDN 7-1 road decision versus Institute of Technology (SAIT) Kletzel and Tylor Keller all had a goal is equal to 1.62 Saskatchewan at the Huskie Trojans, made 27 saves in record­ goal and an assist. Dodd earned Hockey Classic on September ing his first win in conference his second win of the weekend 3. The citizens of the winning city ot any Battle of Alberta match will be permit­ play as Lethbridge outshot the with 33 saves as Lethbridge once 20th, extended its undefeated ted to raze, loot and pillage Red Deer tor streak to eight games with the Thunderbirds 33-28. again outshot UBC by a margin of a period of 24 hours. two wins over UBC and in the Saturday saw the Pronghorns 45-35- Tim McEachen scored process gave first-year head break open a 1-1 first period tie once and added an assist for UBC 4. Players who get concussions will no and defenceman Ryan Thrussell longer suffer from "post-concussion syn­ coach Bill Peters his first two with five second period goals to 1 scored once. Both UBC goals drome. ' This is because anyone getting a concussion will he wins in Canada West Hockey take a 6-2 lead on their way to the thrown on the newly introduced bon fire at the Zamboni gate. conference play. The series sweep of the Thunderbirds were scored on the powerplay as Pronghorns, who are 8-1-1 over­ with an 8-2 victory. After the the two teams combined to score 5. Anytime a game is tied with under two minutes left, the home five of the game's 10 goals with team is allowed to summon Paul Henderson. all, have compiled a record of 7- teams traded first period goals, the man advantage. 0-1 from September 21st to Lethbridge scored three consecu- 6. Cross-cheeking an opponent will be acceptable only it that player is suspected ot al-Queda involvement.

7. Referees whistles will be replaced with wild turkey callers.

S. Draught beer will he replaced in all arenas with cocaine-laced milk. In addition, more Beethoven will he played during play.

9, Ron McLean will wear big gold chains and have an entourage while hosting I INK".. Similar to the flamboyance ot Kent Brockman from The Simpsons.

10.Intermissions will consist ot more nudity and midgets, not necessarily together.

allow these rookies to get off to good starts in their by send Anderson some money! careers by playing like they belong in a beer league. What still made this game almost unstomachable was •Need to Check Your Email? the fact that Calgary got a 5-2 win the same night. Type an Assignment? ELL MY FEARLESS PREDICTIONS WERE A LIT- In the coming weeks the Oilers will travel to Denver tle bit off last week. I had thought that •Surf the web? to battle the Avalanche before coming home to wow wi- would have an undefeated Oilers •Burn a CD? W the Edmonton faithful during a four game stay on team at this point, with wins over Dallas, San Jose home ice. Thev will first host the Blues, then and Boston. Unfortunately just the opposite WE CAN Anaheim will bring the Mickey Mouse show to town, occurred. A 3-0 loss to Dallas started this recent slide followed by another game with the Stars and finally HELP!! into what I like to call 'Flamedom.' After that game, the lowly Buffalo Sabres. It would be a hard stretch to •OPEN tbe Oilers traveled to San Jose and fell behind early, believe that they will do much in Colorado, so proba­ LATE allowing a goal just over one minute into the game. bly only a 4-1 win is in order. The Blues and Ducks •GREAT They kept themselves within one goal for most ofthe will be mere tune-up beatings before they get some PRICES game but the Sharks went up by two midway through revenge on the Stars, so look for double-digit totals in the third. Mike Connie got one back for the Oilers, this one and probably against the Sabres as well. but it wasn't enough and the Oilers suffered their sec- Their generosity against the Sharks and Bruins has ond straight loss. left tbe Oil with a 1-3-1 record, behind even the The Oilers then came back home to Skyreach Center Flames who have already managed an astounding two and proceeded to once again give-up the first goal. victories. Tin not sure how many they got all of last Boston scored a shorthanded goal early in the second year, but I'm sure it was pretty close to that. and then added another before Edmonton finally got Edmonton can't let the Flames get to far ahead of on the board in the last minute of the second period them or the plans for a parade next summer will get courtesy of Anson Carter. The teams traded goals in under way quickly. They have nothing else to look the third and the Oilers and their fans left dejected. forward to, especially since the Stamps aren't going In the last two games the once proud Oilers lost 4-3 anywhere this season. decisions to teams playing rookie goaltenders. It's so nice of a team destined to win the Cup in June to The Meliorist | Thursday, 24 October 2002 | Page 16 Sports 2002/2003 NBA preview

Mike Connolly, Head Coach, Men's by Ryan Reed Georgia) and Nene Hilario win MVP and Richard Jefferson is Lakers are not as far ahead of the Sports Writer (Nuggets/Brazil) - These two nine­ going to have a breakout year and rest of the pack as they used to be. Basketball, UofL teen year olds are the centerpiece in take home the Most Improved In the end, I believe that the Kings Title: Lakers over Celtics Denver's rebuilding project. Nik is Player award. will knock off the Lakers in the MVP: Shaquille O'Neal CTOBER 29TH SIGNALS THE a seven footer who fits the Dirk Western Conference final and that beginning of the Nowtizki mould. Hilario is an ath­ 4. Are the Wizards for real? the New Orleans Hornets will Travis Grindle, Athletics O 2002/03 NBA regular letic 6'io" forward who has tons of Is there a better hackcourt on defeat the Nets in the junior NBA Coordinator, UofL season. With a new start, there are upside. Both should get a chance to paper than the Washington title out East. The Kings will then Title: Kings over Celtics many interesting stories to follow- prove themselves this year, as the Wizards? Put them in the Eastern beat the Hornets to exorcise their MVP: Tim Duncan in the NBA. Compiled below is a Nuggets will struggle. conference, and they should be playoff demons. list of ten stories fans should keep hosting a playoff series right? Not Dave Crook, Head Coach, Men's an eye on. 7. Will Andre Miller help propel the so quick. Well Micheal Jordan has If you don't believe me, here are the Basketball, University of Winnipeg Los Angeles Clippers into the top half assembled a nice cast of players in local expert's predictions: Title: Lakers over Sixers 10. Will the New York Knicks win ten of the Western Conference? DC, the Wizards are still very thin MVP: Kobe Bryant games? Historically cheap Los Angeles and inexperienced inside. The Is there anything funnier than Clippers owner Donald Sterling will Wizards will also find that there is watching the demise of the New- have to be wowed this year. Andre not enough balls to go around York Knicks. By refusing to Miller. Elton Brand, and Micheal between M.I, Stackhouse, Larry rebuild, the Knicks are putting Olowakandi are all in the last year Huges and Bryon Russell. themselves in salary cap jeopardy of their contracts. Early indications Stackhouse is in the final year of his all just to avoid rebuilding. This are that Sterling will not resign all contract (this is why Detroit traded lasl ditch effort to stave off the of them. The 2001/02 Clippers him), so he will want to put up big Pro Profile numbers (remember two years ago in Detroit? That's the Jerry I expect). Hughes and Russell both feel that they have something to prove, and M.I might just be the most competitive person on the planet. Combine these factors, and frustration will be the theme in DC this year. inevitable has come crashing down made great strides, improving their with the season ending injury to win total by nine. With one of the 3. Can Grant Hill regain his pre- Antonio McDyess. Add to that the top five point guards in the league Orlando Magic glory? injury to Latrell Sprewell's hand guiding their ship, the Clippers Everything in the Eastern confer­ (out for two months) and it looks to should improve. Helping Miller ence is riding on Grant Hill's left be a long year in the Big Apple. will be Lamar "Where's my bong?" ankle. Hill has played a total of 18 Odom, Elton Brand, Micheal games since signing a 93 million 9. Which future hall of famers have Olowokandi, and explosive guard dollar deal in Orlando two years gone through their final training Quentin Richardson. Hopefully ago. Still, Magic fans are optimistic camp? this group will put individual stats that the combination of Hill and I cannot remember a year where aside and be good enough to con­ McGrady could easily take the weak more superstars have either called vince Sterling to keep them togeth­ Eastern Conference. Hill has not it quits or are planning to retire. er. proven that his ankle is up to the Hakeem Olajuwon and Patrick test, despite optimism last fall. If Ewing have already hung up their 6. Can Kevin Garnett carry the Hill is healthy expect the Magic to sneakers. Micheal Jordan and Wolves past the first round? host in the first round. If not, David Robinson have said that this For the first time in his career, McGrady's back will once again is their last year. Stockton and Kevin Garnett has taken criticism wear out as he carries the Magic for Malone have both hinted at retiring for his play. The Big Ticket has 82 games. Oh, and the load got a at the conclusion of the season. been doing everything for the T- little larger now with the addition One has to wonder whether Scottie Wolves over the last six years. That of Shawn Kemp. At least atten­ Pippen will enjoy being relegated. is, everything except win a playoff dance at Disney World will go up the 2002/03 season should repre­ series. The future is now for the when Shawn invites his family to sent a changing of the guard in the Wolves, and they have not acquired town! share, he got a little upset. I'll NBA. anybody to help Garnett take this by Craig Hamilton Sports Editor save you the sordid details, but team over the hump. Terrell 2. '.WW Vince Carter regain his spot as suffice it to say, she left the room 8. Which international players should Brandon is in street clothes more "Heir Apparent" to the NBAs throne? with a bite mark on her back that we watch for this year? often than not and Wally Don't you remember when Half VER THE PAST FEW has a one in 2.6 billion chance of The international invasion of the Szczerbiak is their only other Man/Half Amazing was doing 360 WEEKS I've covered not being from Marv. Of course, NBA is in full swing. Names like option. In order for the Wolves to windmills and hitting game win­ athletes from every his attorneys claim that every­ Nash, Nowitzki, Stojakovic, and be competitive, Garnett needs help. ning shots for the up-coming o major professional sport in this thing was consensual and that Gasol are common in NBA fans Since he did not get it this summer, Raptors. That was only a year and a space, and now I'd like to pay this kind of thing was "normal" vocabulary. Who should we look he must take the Wolves on his half ago. The only person who had homage to a broadcaster. Marv for their relationship. The prose­ for this year? baek and step up his game. a worse year than Vince in 2001/02 Albert is one of the most recog­ cution brought up Albert's sexual 2002/03 season is definitely the was Martha Stewart. Carter went nizable voices in professional past, involving an episode with /. Emanuel Ginobili (Spurs/ defining season in Kevin Garnett's from the NBA's newest superstar to sports, serving as the radioman him "wearing panties and a Argentina) - This 6'6" shooting young career. a jump shooting/ no dunking for the NBA's New York Knicks, garter belt" and prior biting inci­ guard has dominated the Euro /always hurt/non-leader... and the the NHL's Rangers, and NFL's dents, but to no avail. league for the last two years. 5. Can the Nets duplicate their 50- list goes on. Report out of Raptors Giants. Identifiable for his NBC Marv eventually pleaded guilty Ginobili made his entrance onto the win season? If so, is it enough for camp is that Vince is healthy and play-by-play work over the past to misdemeanor assault and bat­ world scene by arguably being the Jason Kidd to stick around? looking to reassert himself in few decades, Marv has worked tery while the more serious best player at the World It is no secret that Jason Kidd is a 2002/03. Not only do I need him five NBA Finals, one NBA All- charge of forcible sodomy, a Championships this summer. west coast guy. Many think that his too (huge fan!) but the Raptors Star Game, the 1992 Summer felony under Virginia law, was Ginobili has the ability to take it to stint in New Jersey is merely an could challenge and possibly come Olympics in Barcelona and the dropped. He was given a 12 the hole and is a great finisher. audition for a big contract back out of the diluted Eastern 1994 Basketball World month suspended sentence and Look for him to play the role that west. Kidd quieted those critics Conference. If Carter continues Championships. He is one of the was ordered to undergo coun­ Derek Anderson did two years ago when he announced this summer down the same path he headed last most respected and revered selling. Had he been convicted of for the Spurs. that he is now an "east coast guy." year, the Raptors will continue to broadcasters in sports. the initial charges, Albert could Kidd may be dreaming of California wallow in mediocrity. Apparently Marv also likes to have faced life in prison, eventu­ 2. Yao Ming (Rockets I China} - Yao is if his honeymoon with the Nets bite women on the ass, have ally doing play-by-play for the more of a project, but the Rockets goes sour this year. Thankfully for L How is Shaq's Big Toe? threesomes with other men, and Cell Block B "Don't Drop the the Nets, this shouldn't happen. At the end of the season, this is the will give him a chance to show him­ wear ladies underwear. Arrested Soap" Shower Wrestling Finals. self this year. Upper body strength The audition of Dikembe Mutumbo only question that really matters. If in May of 1997 Albert was The really interesting thing should shore up their interior Shaq is healthy, the Lakers win. is a concern for this 7's" giant. charged with "forcible sodomy" about this is that Marv had a defence. Some worry about his The other part to that question is Ming's greatest strength is his abil­ and "assault and battery" after a fiancee all the while, so next time offence, but he won't be able to when Shaq gets healthy. The Big ity to step away from the basket. sexual episode involving a long­ you get busted cheating on your catch Kidd and co. so that is better Man was injured to begin last sea­ Overall good showing this summer time sexual acquaintance went significant other after one too for everyone. Look for Kenyon son, but he came back soon enough OU the Chinese's national team bol­ sour. You see, Marv likes the many wobbly-pops, use Marv to Martin to continue to improve and to get into shape. If O'Neal's injury stered the Rockets confidence in rough stuff when he's getting it bring things into perspective. make the All-Star team. Although keeps him out for too long, he will him. on, and when his girl didn't show "Well, at least I didn't get arrest­ the Nets won't be winning the NBA be out of shape for the playoffs. As up with another gny for them to ed for biting her ass..." 3. Nikolaz Tskitishvili (Nuggets/ championship, Jason Kidd should the Kings showed last year, the sports The Meliorist i Thursday, 24 October 2002 | Page 17 The Last Best Day or why I hate Mother Nature

by Craig Hamilton game anymore. I have talked to too perhaps. It's not a hobby anymore, these moments in my game are few to the course time after time. Sports Editor many people who, for one reason of not something to do to kill time, but and far between, but they have another, hate it. This usually stems rather an obsession. A constant cri­ occurred. You pull your club, take "The friend you make on the golf from a single experience in which tique of myself. No matter how well your stance and eye up the hole. course are the friends you make for OR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAD they went to the course, didn't hit a I do at something, or how conceited Everything comes together, your life." -Jessica Anderson Valentine the good fortune to stay 65, and came home depressed, vow­ I get for a trivial task, a round of body overcomes itself, your head is F here in town over ing to never pick up a club again. golf will cure me quickly. clear, and you strike a ball perfect­ October is drawing to a close, so Thanksgiving, you may remember But I'm always a proponent of the ly. Your swing does what you want for those of you who love the game, what the weather was like the few game, encouraging anyone who "A golfer must love the process of it to, but without a feeling of being or for those of you who are interest­ days before that long weekend. hasn't tried it, to do so, and for striving to improve." - Robert Cullen forced. You make a perfect shot. A ed in playing for the first time, do Snow. Thick wet snow. Then, won­ those who have tried it, to give it 250-yard drive with a smooth fade so now. Don't play to be like Tiger der of wonders, the weather broke another chance. Now, I'll be the One of the reasons I love it, I sup­ to the middle of the fairway, a Woods. You aren't him. At all. and Monday was beautiful. I had first to admit that I am far from pose, is the fact that every so often bump and run within two feet of the Play to have fun. Play for the chal­ an afternoon dinner to attend, but being a scratch player, and that my something happens when I grab a cup, a 15 foot putt playing each lenge. Just play to play. threw my clubs in the back of the handicap could use a little work. club that cannot be explained, at break along the way. This hope of car, just in case I could make it out But that doesn't mean that I don't least not by me. Now, I realize that perfection is what brings me back for a quick round. I called a buddy of mine (who should remain name­ less...Mike, you little prick) to see if he'd like to get out and hit some balls, but due to his late night the "Damn, I should have evening before he felt the need to sleep outweighed the need to golf. That kind of rationale and he wasn't grabbed ihe ladies'orange even drinking! That was one of the last best days, and there are going hah. I can't findmine In all to be very few left of that caliber, so for those of you who feel that pull, go every time you can. Winter this white stuff..." approaches fast.

"The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight" - Ben Hogan

Living in this area can be a beast of burden, as cold weather does strange things to people. Jack Nicholson went crazy in The Shining because ofthe weather, and just look at my Tampa Bay Bucs and their inability to win in the cold. It's frightening. Being snowed in for the better part of the year does­ n't really foster a great drive to get outside for a few hours and walk around chasing a little ball, espe­ cially when you shoot like me. Oh, how I have longed to live in a cli­ mate more appreciative of my pas­ times. Even at the peak beauty of *&t summer, the lack of water can dry '^MOW** out the grass on a fairway and hard­ en greens to cement. There is no >*m pleasing Mother Nature. enjoy the game. It hasn't con­ quered me, I'm still planning my "// took me seventeen years to get attack. three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf "Golf is a Good Walk Spoiled" - course." - Hank Aaron Mark Twain

There are few things I would To be honest, I'm not even sure rather do than golf. End of story. what it is about golf that thrills me. I'm a fan of all sports, even the ones It's not really the fastest game that aren't really sports like lumber around, or the cheapest, but I've jacking and cheerleader competi­ never been deterred. The creativity tions, but golf stands in a class all and possibility that a game affords of its own. It is the only sport I is a sure draw for me. The competi­ have encountered where you are tion against myself: to see if I can truly your own hest enemy. do exactly what I want to do with BOWLING & BILLIARDS Cfeofo Efesltozc© EfeOO Nothing stands between you and each stroke appeals to me. Add a the pin but your own ability and few good pals, and a friendly wager skill. My thinking about golf has here and there and you can come altered over the last season. The away with a nice afternoon on the guys I hit with are sick of hearing course. Or maybe I'm just a glutton about the books I've read, and the for punishment. I picked up a club honest change that they have lor the first time years ago...l was brought to my game. They don't maybe 12 when 1 played my first I 2 for 1 Tuesdays (after 9pm) want to hear my borrowed psychol­ round at a tiny par-3, and even then ogy, no matter what it has done for I didn't get into the game seriously me and lor my game. It's amazing until high school. You see, back tbat a sale at Chapters ean result in then, my sleepy golf buddy wasn't I Happy Hour Bowling Wednesdays altered consciousness. The head such a jerk, and fewer things were game involved with golf cannot be more fun than throw ing the clubs in underestimated. How you the back of his convertible after approach a round, a hole, and even school, and tearing down to the i Cosmic Bowling Thursday, Friday, each stroke dictates how well you course. 1 will let yourself play. "Tbe phantom of perfect success flits Saturday Nights! "A golfer has to learn to enjoy the ever before the anient golfer" Pi^a 41 ut process of striving to improve " I laid tain ' Hob Rotella I play on a different level now than § Sunday is Student Night l rarely try to sell anyone on the 1 did back then, a different mindset, Three Lines Free The Meliorist Thursday, 24 October 2002 Page 18

Congratulations to Nathan, VP Bryce, and Chernobyl Blake on Di, the first three members ofthe sink yakking club. Titwillow, pull your head out and quit let- ling your big bro mutter on and on homo Smoke 'em ifyou got 'em. erorically about Peter Gabriel.

You still don't know the track of the week? Beefcake: HAAAATTT 77777!!! Want to three lines free go on a scavenger hunt? :) "Hi-Yeah" is my favorite drunken phrase. Is it a requirement that ifyou are male and 1 saw Hajjiyah over at the local IGA. stupid, you must use the word "FUSE­ LAGE"??? What's the inverse of a square matrix? I don't care. Wty Pedro Smith...is that a new name on the booty call list??-keep us guessing-team Send your TLFs at www.themeliorlst.com/tlfs.htm or Where's my damn Mc Maharajah with downstairs. Cheese, 1 ordered it last semester! E-Mail to [email protected] WB that FLUSH was fuckin insane. Too Chris A. is the Monopoly man, aka Uncle bad Jordo was suckin dick or we would've owned that shitino. To the stud in thc "JOLLY ACRL" you OTCI dents... Pennyhags. make mc wanna get Dirrty!!!!! Hey Oilerfan, Good luck in the Draft lot­ not enough vices to get me through uni, we Spot 12 is the spot! Sure beats 28, eh. I )rink up big O, you're goin' down!!! "Team Hey Jay 117, I heard your mom's in thc only tery. need more money..... downstairs" is gettin' HUNGRY!!! video on much music with a parental advi­ Carlos sleeps like a little rabbit on Tylenol sory. DIRRRRRRTY!!!' K BJ Fist time writer, long time reader...I got inflation, insurance, booze, smokes all arc- 3s. That's good for Jordo. -SP1TF1RE Am I failing yet? --Salami nothing else to say. up in price, oh yeah tuition too Am I thc only one that has noticed the Lets sacrifice the Sean off the nth floor. I spent over 6 grand at the duke in the last cement pad in front of LINC. has sunk Oilers hump Calgary fans in the ass and Kyoto Accord • cheap gas. If we find alter­ 3 years. about a foot? State of the art library, eh! make them bleed red flames. native fuels the economic laws will prevail I could sure go for a Mountain Crest beer and push down thc price of fossil fuels! right about now. Yo Yo Yo! 'Sup in da hood, peeps? I be People, please try to be slightly consider­ Regarding the article on pgi7 about the givin' props to my homies! A'ight? - salami. ate and leave the library group study Flames and Oilers. Oil SPILL & Flaming LINC: The S67 mill septic tank built on Iron lungs is a whipped mofo. rooms for groups, Thank you. C. make your own opinion on which team the back of broke gamble-a-holic families. Maybe there would be less complaining in is better. Congrats Matt fuck a ho for me in Europe this paper if we weren't all Canadian. — DO you know what I hate more than elec­ cunt, bearded clam, tuna taco, two lips, Ralph tric hand dryers in the washrooms? F#S*n Ifyou had sex with a Skitzofrenic would it grisle slit, snatch, twat, muff. Mormon dorman is a creeper! hand dryers that don't work!!! be considered an orgy? Is it just me, or do these get more asinine The meliorist rocks, but needs more Rim jobs rule. every year? Hey Oilerfan, Remembrance Day is com­ Hey Oilerfan. Oilers suck. fuckin profanity. I would like to see the ing soon, REMEMBER WHEN THE word cunt used more often! Fuck off that's my coat. 'The other day in Geography 1000 that OILERS WERE GOOD? Hey Oilerfan, look who is in last place in was the joke. the northwest. Speaking of deliverance walk with your ass Dubs is a flaming homo! Hey Oilerfan, thanksgiving has passed, too against the wall when going through the If you support The Meliorist, you support bad you have nothing to be thankful for. Hey Oilerfan, figure it out! Go Flames Go! arts section. Andy loves Donna. the Refoooooooooorrrm party --Preston Moanning. Hey Edmonton fan! Too bad the CFL Cheers to flames fans for finally finding a Last week's cover pages looks like the guys hey, band who played at the starlight doesn't go year round, so you can have little meaning to their otherwise useless from deliverance butt hackin the turkey! lounge on October 4th, you rock but get a Hey, girl who talks all the time; stop talk­ something to cheer about. lives. good drummer, that one looks like a real ing all the time! Ambition is just an excuse not to be lazy! bitch. Special Thanks to the Pronghorn Grill for L.F. + prescription + booze = "I'm a little We may not have a lot of points, but we selling me a chicken sandwich that was fire extinguisher, here's my hose", makes I think students should drink more (and Props out to the dude with the MULLET, are special just the same. Can anyone else completely raw in the middle. tor one funny video. pop pills) to relieve stress and anxiety. We Rock on! say that they are the RAMROD of ED? need more addicts! MNO can. About the books...394-o668(chris) Yaj-Three in one night? Man you were BABIES BABIES BABIES! let's make trippin' bad. The zoo screwed YOLT that cold weather = rock hard nipples, cmon BABIES! them standing waiting 10 mins so your I have bio^no, bio3620, psych2yoo....need night. Love Eibbor. ladies, don't be shy showing off your beau­ selfish ass can park itself.? It's common 15103300, geo22oo, bio342o ties. Take my advice, stop hanging around with etiquette, management fuckos. Too all the detox haters. Don't cry b/c we thc pussy, and go find some ...you can't really dust for vomit... can drink u to the floor. SO HONK ON Tiki & Kiki, sorry about the naked cowboy Losers, would you please let the people JUMANGI! in the window...no actually I'm not! Would the CHILDREN in D3 please shut who were in the class before you mill get So how was your stay at the Pointe Inn? the hell up, we can hear you from all over out ofa room before you bombard in leav­ Nice wine rack boys, I'll come have Tiki, so you didn't get ass this weekend, so the school!! Some people go to CLASS ing. Thank god they removed that depressing Chianti and Merlot on any day that ends in sorry but you forfeit for another 3 weeks. here.... face that I was forced to look into every­ Y. love SP1TF1RE. P 117 will be serving up piping hot bowls of day walking up the Line stairs! close your blinds next time! -Tiki and Kiki Kelly S. in education is so very, very HOT semen soup this month. Don't miss out. What the hell is a Saskatchemewan?? -Tc Ruprect...do you want the genital cuff?! trouble, good night 'Thursday? yeah that's to the in 1000, stop in 'To the cute redheaded boy. Do you know what we thought when we saw the naked I am so smart....SMRT class! you're in university for sake! Hey Kelowna- I heard what happened this how sexy and sweet you are? cowboy through the window! weekend- nice work. Wingnut. Lindsey and Tanya in mgt2ioo are two Hey Miss Foxy Roxy! 'Thanks for being my Chunky what has happened to you? Do hot painter boy., where have you gone? very smoking hot ladies - Chip and Justin rock babe! Cash. Spy vs. Spy won't last too long for all of you no longer fit in the doors & that is why you used to fill my afternoons with sun­ Credible. you in it 'cause you're all we never see you? shine. Now there's new letters and no you! To Joan :-) , Ashley, Karyn, Heather, going down. I know where you live! I'm sad. Sexy Man, you touch me just right. You Tamara, and Amanda: it is a blast hanging Commando Kiki do you think that we can start a new hit all the haaaaat spots! Love; Drunken out with you guys... LUV stuffed in Trunk. percentage with the band? I could try for If you're going to be "studying" like that Swan. Elyk, I asked you a question! 50% there too. please have the decency to close the door - Damn— the bouncers at the zoo should let all the way. Casanova - you represent your homies people in when they are not at capacity How about those cougars at Ezzies? It's Oh Tiki, you can have a dirty cowboy all of from the th dot straight up. you'll always instead of trying to be cool pretend they good to know that they're there just in your own in 2 more weeks. Or we can get Rally Monkey...you and me at the bike be my main thug, your kickin 'G' LZ have power over the lineup. case I get desperate. you one on Friday. racks after school. to all the detox girls, it is a ok to say no to Duke RULZ. Seven weeks until Fernie opens- start Some people say they can't believe, U-Hall Can someone raise the roof? I keep hit­ 'the fun.' wax'in that shit up! Has A Bobsled Team! ting my head on some of them. Jeff and Lance love cheddar techno! HA A public service announcement to all 1st HA HA - Spitifre. L Town Teamsters are the Ramrod!! Our If someone gives you a little trip as a joke To the 3yr. Art major I helped home from year girls from small towns: learn to trim fly ride is bumpin'! That's right eh' Wade? don't hold a grudge, ya thats you 325. the greyhound after thanksgiving. Meet your special place! -Sick of flossing. To the wanna be cowgirl... it takes a lot me at the Station some time at Noon. - more then a lesson on how to ride a horse- Atown kicks Ltown's ass! sucks that rez is infested with mice...sucks K.B. Mr. Yuko aka: Night Monkey I think your to be a cowgirl. even more that housing isn't doing any­ hot but whats going on with us ?? To the cute redheaded boy, you got some thing about it. Way to go UofL! To my THUG LZ, you amaze me with I smell creamers and salami and it fuckin' stiff competition and you will need all thc your smile, your laugh, and your mind, Melissa - You look like Chloe off of'Days' stinks. help you can get uglo! hey tiff, 15 days... better hurry! *S-007. thanks for being you. and i want to have babies with you! Love the Dave/Corb hybrid. GANGSTORE WHAT?! ps. quit hitting Management student cntrcprenuers mak­ what is it about this school that makes you SWM hates self, wants to die, seeks female on my obese girlfriend. ing exotic adult video. Actresses needed want to slam your head into a brick..let me companion who doesn't mind above. To the hottie who works Q> stubbs phar­ to fill roles Pay is based on performance. rephrase that..concrete wall? macy and drives the red jerta: hopefully i'll To the chautch fucker driving the red pre! Applicants must be sexy and willing to try I heard that when nicole gets hungry, she see you at roadhouse again, soon! ude wearing rhe doo-rag anil triple 5 hood 'new things.' Call Pablo at 331-4255, I dreamed of a noodle the size of a party munches on a snack... ie, your white... and you have ass eyes. sub last night and woke up with a hanlon. You know that guy with the big white Cocc nuts' 'Trevor* Made you look! Too DAMN that would rule. R Rumor has it Nicole B. likes snacks! beard? he makes me smile. Yea! For the paint crew and finally being bad ed. doesn't teach spelling lessons! finished! Love Ladder Girl Panderson, Simon Fraser Jr. High sucks What the fuck? MSS is charging S1700 to Jewels, please call me at PBI love CHAD Vernon, BC, how was that woman from Mexico? Travel Club is only $(150!!! MSS Hail to the Trolls Book of Mormon! Saturday.' She was cravin' your bone. - is a fucking RI POFF! to the girls in the suites on D3, thanks for (loose, Mav. NEW CLUB: Join the Cooking Club, the second home. Fall Cup was pretty cool, especially when looking tor members, call 317 0445, find Yo Dave: Cate to explain this white mark we had to wake up at 9, TUCK! Hey Spitfire...! borrowed some of your out what we put in our buns. on my windshield? Lows. Hey girls on 3rd floor, keep smiling, you butter to lube up Mav's mom...hope y.i guys are beautiful- bw I agree, I think that we should go just like don't mind! (ioosc. Study Jen, get your dancing shoes ready, Happy 21st Birthday Babe, it's been an the day we were born! and bum for pinches unforgettable 2 1/2 years. Love- To LZ, sorr\ about the burn marks on your There ire so many horny women in this Always Boo! neck. Halloween Bash on Thursday at the Zoo town; 1 love it! Assman. kyle, relax it is only intramurals not the this year! Let's see some good costumes! NBA, These are the words ofa loser, ifyou I sure hope some ofthe high ups read this, Bianca on I) tOJC, stop making R miss all Not like some of the l.muass ones last (ioosc, I never knew that your mom could can't play stay off the court. or I just wasteil a shitload ol t imc-. his classes. year.... put her ankles behind her head. You've gotta warn me about these things Study bunnies want study dumb dumb (aka Tor being such an intellectual place of hfgf Can I Iced on Bilal on halloween night.. Mav. jordy) to run for SI' pres. learning, the UofL sure doesn't have a Grrrrrrrrrrrr baby... Ihe Yummy vampire damn thing figured out. Johnny likes skinny chicks but couldn't girl. I'll- could be quite eventful this weekend! Halloween is around the corner,....party at turn on a phattie. (jive us a cull. broc h and lan h's house, or shall I say Ihe only good thing about this place is To the PROFORM hotties in Ya,. apartment VP ()ne Nut - when do i get to see the sun grammar...the IANBOYS are gonna get I oil.: Where you can write tests on coin rise again? ho I on you! llvy Trevor..round two? I here M.irk is The KILLER SHEEP are GONNA whoop puter, if thc proctor shows up .mil it's your white knight now. when Tin yo ass down. Where's our balls at?' available when they do show up. to whomever wrote of no butter last wick: Green case filled with »o punk CDs lost finished punishing him I'm gonna punish Don't you see? It changes color when it on the West Side over Thanksgiving fin k both youi moms! Daddy \\i() is thc greatest junior high in ihe Conic to the loll.. Here you get tickets dries' I HAVE TO KEEP HIT: WATT Sunday dub On) Do you have it? Call world. for trying to buy a parking pass that's sold WET!!! )I5 S5"5 Reward offered. Props to "the streaker"...pride ol Ml 11 IS. out. Bobby and Jimmy are the > utesi twin tow Hey you in the computer labs: SHUT UP! Where are the buffet spen.ils in irs in southern Allx it.i Sweetle.il has been giving sonic good sis. Learn t<> whisper bet ause I don't give .1 Lethbridge.' I lell yeah :) link about your computer class assign An Apology Rosie McPhat Till, l.i Mil CLUB WAS THE GREAT ment. EST HUM. TO HAPPEN TO HIT 1 To the proctor who never showed up on Hey RA Mark...l couldn't lit your 1110111 on OF L. Saturday, gei oft the beastiality porn web­ to the girl in in) mush IOO0 ( l.iss: do you //>. Miliaria would like to apr»|"gi/f foi last my bid cause your grandmother was sites .mil open the lucking lab. talk because you like sounding stupid?! week's 11.1 'regardingOci n 1 did noi bum already there so l just tin t her in • .1 useless degree* competition i<>< a shit wli.ll ( (ct 11 is .mil, Miipullv, did IKII set ilu yours...she came all over your pillow! degree even more depressed students. win is n that proctors tan figure out (ioosc man, next time you borrow tlit luu meaning to the 111 1 up Anxiety and depression are up in I ni? No html, but ihey 1.in'i figure oul how to open lei lor Mav's mom, lei me know. I had to 1 in-, uiii in.1 happen again. SplithiT noodles in the Ooj and T.kud was Shit! No money no Inn -unhappy stu thc webel labs on time. use liei v.i| juice I" flavor my toast. < ine, Brown, 1.1I1101 in 1 lnd Trina Johnson - Arts and Science Rep. I'm Trina Johnson, an Arts and Science Faculty Rep on the General Assembly ofthe Student's Union. Student government provides me with many opportunities to get involved in the 'behind the scenes' running ofthe institution. I encourage all students to consider volunteering on the various committees here at the university and participating in the various clubs on campus. Myself, I'm active in the Lethbridge Student's for Life Club, and I show up to Geography Club events when I can. I am from a cattle farm in the small, northern community of Fairveiw, Alberta, hence the choice of Ag Economics as my major. I enjoy outdoor activities like hiking, horseback riding, canoeing and camping although I feel like I never do enough of it. If I've ever been in one of your classes you'll know it. I have strong vocal tendencies that translate into my willingness to voice my opinion. Hopefully I can use this to the students' advantage. Ifyou ever have anyquestions, concerns, or comments, please feel free to bring them up with me or any of the other SU members. Let's make this year a great one. Kelli McAllister - Arts and Science Rep. Hello. So you've read all the way to the back ofthe Meliorist and you find me staring out at you. Well, snap out of your stupor because this isn't the TLFs. I was instructed to submit something to fill the space back here, and making my head that large wasn't an option. Yippee. Actually, I'm supposed to fill you in on who I am and what I'm doing on the Student's Union. Perhaps you find members ofthe executive too happy, too perky, too tall or just too blond (I'll leave it to you to figure out who is which); and you have a concern you would like to express. That is what I am here for. You find me and you can voice that concern, complaint or even compliment and I'll see what I can do. No worries, I am not overly blond or bubbly and I stand a whopping 163.5 centimeters. I've even managed to complete enough courses to be considered a third year student so I may have a reasonable answer for you. That's it that's all. You may now further consider the TLF's and find out who boffy's biffing this week. Cheers.

Book your graduation photos today! NOVEMBER 5-7 Dejourdan's Photographisc is coming on campus again! Anyone can book! Those of you who are graduating in December need to get your photos taken now in order to get onto the composition. Come to the Students' Union office (SU180) to pick up a brochure and make an appointment. There is also a sitting fee involved, $15.00 ( plus gst), so remember to bring payment at the time of your booking. Nashville Night at the Zoo rf li JAKE MATHEWS

Tickets sold at the Zoo and the Service Centre for $10 Thursday, October 31 A Contest will be held for the best costume The winner will receive the Silver Coors Light Recliner. Doors Open at 4:00 pm No Cover Charge Drink Specials D II TICKBlSoiu ii 1