Honor Your Parents: The Fulcrum of the Ten Commandments

here is little doubt thatkibbud av va-eim is a central mitzvah; it is not merely “another Rabbi Michael Rosensweig Tcommandment,” but an imperative Rosh Yeshiva and Rosh Kollel, RIETS vital to the enterprise of Torah and mitzvot. The Rambam Mamrim( Compiled by Rabbi Itamar Rosensweig 6:1) characterizes it as a “mitzvat Bella and Harry Wexner Fellow, RIETS, and Resident aseh gedolah” — a great positive Scholar, Cong. Ahavath Torah, Englewood, NJ commandment; the Yerusalmi (Pe’ah 1:1) declares it “chamurah shebichamuros;” — of the most serious belongs to a select class of mitzvot doubt of its axiological import. mitzvos, and the Tur (Yoreh Deah 240) 2 issued as a prequel to matan Torah. Yet when we assess kibbud av va-eim prefaces his discussion noting that At Marah, Bnei Yisrael were charged in the sugya (Talmudic discussion) of kibbud av va-eim demands a unique with a few essential commandments aseh docheh lo ta’aseh (the ability of a “punctilious observance.” that would both prepare them for and positive commandment to override What is the evidence for this afford them a glimpse of the Torah a negative commandment) — the evaluation? First, kibbud av va-eim they would later receive--sham sam lo sugya prima facie most informative appears in the most critical contexts of chok u-mishpat ve-sham ni’sahu —there of halakhic hierarchies — it emerges the Torah. It is delineated in the Aseret He established law and statute and as decidedly inferior to other Hadibrot (Shemot 20:12) — kabed there He tested it (Shemot 15:25). mitzvot, less capable of prevailing et avikha ve-et imekha, honor your Along with Shabbat, monetary laws over a competing lav (negative father and your mother — and not and parah adumah, kibbud av va-eim commandment). At one stage of just as any dibrah (commandment), preceded matan Torah. the discussion in Yevamot (6a), the but the pivotal one that transitions Third,kibbud av va-eim is one of the Gemara maintains that any aseh the dibrot from bein adam la-Makom rare instances where the imperative (positive commandment) would (between man and God) to bein adam to perform a mitzvah is buttressed prevail over a lo ta’aseh she-yeish bo la-chaveiro (between man and man).1 by the explication of its own reward: kareit (negative commandment Kibbud av va-eim later resurfaces lema’an ya’arikhun yamekha, in order with a penalty of Heavenly in Kedoshim (Vayikra 19:3) “ish that your days be lengthened. The excommunication), except for the imo ve-aviv ti’rau,” one shall fear his Gemara accordingly (Chullin 110b) aseh of kibbud av va-eim. This, the mother and father — the parshah that rules that such mitzvot lie beyond the Gemara explains, is due to an imposed Ramban (Vayikra 19:2) characterizes jurisdiction of Bet Din: kol mitzvat constraint: איש אמו ואביו תיראו ]אני ה’[ כולכם חייבים as gufei Torah (foundations of the aseh shematan secharan betzeidah, ein בכבודי. — Torah). In both of these contexts, beit din shel matah muzharin alehah kibbud av va-eim is significantly any mitzvah whose reward is written “You shall fear your mother and your conjoined with the mitzvah of in the Torah, Bet Din cannot enforce. father [I am God]” All of you are Shabbat. Given the prominence accorded obligated to honor Me. Second, according to Rashi (Devarim to kibbud av va-eim in the Torah’s 5:16 s.v. Ka-asher), kibbud av va-eim presentation, there seems to be little

11 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775 By fiat,kibbud av va-eim is rendered consequently, what appeared to against an aseh derabanan; why is impotent in a clash against another be a clash between a de’oraita and kibbud av va-eim the only mitzvah mitzvah. Kibbud av va-eim can never derabanan is in fact a clash between hyper-sensitive to kavod Shamayim? compete against kavod Shamayim, the two mitzvot de’oraita: Moreover, for the Beit Yosef, the impotence of kibbud av va-eim is נראה שהטעם משום דכיון דקי”ל דכל מילי .honor of Heaven stipulated by a gezeirat ha-katuv דרבנן אסמכינהו אלאו דלא תסור הרי הוא The inferiority ofkibbud av va-eim, in (textual decree) — ”Ani Hashem” — ככל דברי תורה. fact, runs deeper. The same Gemara counterintuitive as it may be. Tosafot in Yevamot rules that kibbud av va- It seems that the reason is that it is (Yevamot 5b s.v. Kulkhem), however, eim is an exception to the otherwise established that all rabbinic laws are suggest that this fiat is superfluous, universal principle of aseh docheh lo based on the prohibition of “do not stray” for the impotence of kibbud av va-eim ta’aseh, incapable of displacing even an [from their words], it is treated as a could be derived even in its absence. ordinary lav. The Gemara cryptically biblical commandment. After all, the Gemara Kiddushin( cites kibbud av va-eim’s rank as a But this proposed solution of the Kesef 31a) rules that honoring one’s mere hekhsher mitzvah, a preparatory, Mishnah does not sufficiently account father prevails when it conflicts with instrumental mitzvah, to explain its for the Rambam’s position. It may honoring one’s mother because “ conspicuous impotence.3 But this atah explain the derabanan dimension, but ” — explanation requires clarification: In ve-imkha chayavin bikhvod avikha it begs the question as to why the aseh you and your mother are obligated what sense is kibbud av va-eim only a de’oraita of kibbud av va-eim should to honor your father. So too, argue hekhsher mitzvah; in what sense is it cede to a fellow aseh. Second, it is Tosafot, since child and parent alike only a vehicle to achieve something not at all apparent that the Rambam are charged with — else? kavod Shamayim ascribes to the view that lo tasur “hu ve-aviv muzharin” — it intuitively Further still, the Rambam in Hilkhot transfiguresmitzvot derabanan into follows that kibbud av va-eim cannot Mamrim (6:12) remarkably rules that mitzvot de’oraita.5 To be sure, the Kesef override another mitzvah. On the mitzvat aseh of kibbud av va-eim Mishnah had his own reservations, Tosafot’s view, then, the impotence of is incapable of overriding a fellow and in his Beit Yosef, he puts forth an kibbud av va-eim is not only a fact, it is mitzvat aseh and, more strikingly, alternative solution: an intuitive fact. even a mitzvat aseh mi-derabanan ?Have we arrived at a contradiction דכיון דמאני ה’ כולכם חייבים בכבודי ילפינן (rabbinic mitzvah). This despite the We opened our analysis with a survey לה, ומילי דרבנן ודאי הם כבודו של מקום אין Rambam’s ruling elsewhere (Yibum of mekorot that speak to kibbud av לו לעבור עליהם בשביל כבוד אביו. 6: 10) that one aseh may displace axiological import, “ another.4 The Rambam’s ruling is va-eim’s chamurah Since we derive it from “I am God, all ” in the language of the particularly perplexing because the shebichamurot of you are obligated to honor Me,” and Yerushalmi. Yet in the of Gemara’s ruling deals specifically with sugya aseh observing rabbinic decrees are certainly docheh lo ta’aseh, kibbud av va-eim the case of kibbud av va-eim against a part of honoring God, one may not seems conspicuously subordinate to lo ta’aseh. On what grounds does the violate them to honor a parent. other mitzvot. How does Rambam extend the Gemara’s ruling kibbud av va- eim’s subordinate status cohere with to a mitzvat aseh — and especially to A special fiat Ani“ Hashem” declares its axiological prominence? an aseh mi-derabanan? kibbud av va-eim powerless against kavod Shamayim, regardless of Further, this is not just an What underlies the Rambam’s ruling? how trivially the latter manifests. inconsistency between the rules How can the aseh de’oraita of kibbud Accordingly, kibbud av va-eim cannot of aseh docheh lo ta’aseh of kibbud av va-eim be powerless against an displace even an aseh derbanan, for it av va-eim and its other associated aseh derabanan? TheKesef Mishneh too instantiates kavod ha-Makom. halakhot, for the contradiction (Mamrim 6:12, s.v. Afilu), vexed penetrates internally, within the laws by this very difficulty, suggests that TheBeit Yosef’s solution to the of aseh docheh lo ta’aseh. The hitherto this ruling is grounded in lo tasur. Rambam’s ruling only deepens the discussed sugya in Yevamot (6a) points Every mitzvah derabanan is thereby conceptual difficulty: Why iskibbud to kibbud av va-eim’s exceptional elevated to de’oraita standing, and av va-eim the only mitzvah enervated

12 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775 impotence; but there are other sugyot that suggest that, to the contrary, kibbud av va-eim is exceptionally potent, more capable of prevailing in conflict than any other mitzvah. Typically, halakhah maintains that an aseh cannot displace a lav that is conjoined with an aseh, ein aseh docheh lo ta’aseh va-aseh. The Gemara inBava Metzia (32a), however, suggests the possibility of kibbud av va-eim constituting an exception to this rule; only kibbud av va-eim would be sufficiently potent to displace loa ta’aseh va-aseh. The rationale adduced is particularly striking: הואיל והוקש כיבוד אב ואם לכבודו של מקום שנאמר כאן כבד את אביך ואת אמך ונאמר להלן כבד את ה’ מהנך. Since honoring one’s father and mother is connected to honoring God as it states here “honor your father and your mother,” and it states later “Honor God with your possessions.” The suggested potency ofkibbud av va-eim, within the laws of aseh docheh lo ta’aseh, is underwritten6 precisely by its axiological moment, for kibbud av va-eim is matched with kavod Shamayim. Kibbud av va-eim, then, is governed by a fundamental tension. On the one hand, the Gemara in Yevamot (6a) maintains that it is manifestly subordinate to other mitzvot because it cannot compete against kavod Shamayim — kulkhem chayavim bikhvodi. But, on the other hand, the Gemara in Bava Metzia (32a) suggests that kibbud av va-eim is superior to other mitzvot because it emulates kavod Hamakom — hukash kevodam le-kavod ha-makom. The future is Perturbed by this tension, Tosafot (Yevamot 6a, s.v. Ta’ama) ask how the Gemara could oscillate between in your hands. such contradictory extremes. How could the sugya in Yevamot hold that kibbud av va-eim is incapable of displacing even a regular lav, while the sugya in Bava Metzia had no qualms suggesting that kibbud av va-eim Meet Zvi Goldstein, a current MTA High School senior would displace even a lo ta’aseh va’aseh? Curiously, the enrolling in Yeshiva University. Zvi is coming to Gemara never entertained the possibility of kibbud av va- Yeshiva University for the countless opportunities to eim being just like other mitzvot. engage with top Roshei Yeshiva and world-renowned Tosafot suggest that kibbud av va-eim is by its fundamental faculty. With 150 student clubs, 16 NCAA sports teams and character an extreme mitzvah, either subordinate or hundreds of activities, lectures and events throughout superior to other mitzvot, but never typical or equal. It is campus, YU has something for everyone. either “hukash le-kavod ha-makom” and superior or “Ani Hashem, kulkhem chayavim bikhvodi” and subordinate, Picture yourself at YU. #NowhereButHere but never in between. True, the sugya entertained the hava amina (initial thought), based on hukash kevodam

13 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775 www.yu.edu | 212.960.5277 | [email protected]

www.yu.edu/enroll le-kavod ha-makom, that kibbud av Kibbud av va-eim is itself a mitzvah, fortified by a concomitant imperative va-eim should displace even a lav va- and it is not at all apparent that it of reverence and honor. Kibbud av aseh, but once the Gemara concluded stands in greater conflict withkavod va-eim is, in this sense, the most that it cannot, kibbud av va-eim must Shamayim than, say, any conflict elementary sine qua non for a religious be demoted to a rank below other between two mitzvot. Tosafot tersely community: “כבד את אביך ואת אמך, להזהיר על הקבלה mitzvot, incapable of displacing even suggest that the gezeirat hakatuv “Ani רוצה לומר שימשך האדם לקבלת האבות שזה ”an ordinary lav. But this solution of Hashem, kulkhem chayavim bikhvodi עיקר כולל לכל הדתות שלא יצוייר מציאותם Tosafot only deflects the difficulty, indicates a special relationship אם לא יהיה האדם נשמע לקבלת האבות since the fundamental problem between kibbud av va-eim and kavod וחכמי הדת...אם מן האבות ‘כבד את אביך remains: What is the character of Shamayim, but they don’t elaborate ואת אמך’, ואם מן החכמים ‘לא תסור מן .kibbud av va-eim such that it tends further only to the extremes? הדבר אשר יגידו לך ימין ושמאל’.” ,To expound on Tosafot’s suggestion Let us pose one further question. let us probe the character of kibbud Honor your father and your mother The Gemara invoked Ani“ Hashem, av va-eim and extract its central, commands the concept of tradition, that kulkhem chayavim bikhvodi” as underlying principles. On one plane, one should continue the tradition of one’s the source for kibbud av va-eim’s there is undoubtedly a dimension parents because this is a foundation that ineffectiveness against clashing of hakarat hatov, gratitude, as the relates to our belief system, for it cannot mitzvot, implying that when kibbud av Sefer ha-Chinukh articulates in his exists without listening to the tradition of va-eim conflicts with some mitzvah, it treatment of the mitzvah (mitzvah no. one’s forefathers and the scholars of the eo ipso conflicts withkavod Shamayim. 33): religion … From our forefathers, “Honor your father and your mother,” and from משרשי מצוה זו, שראוי לו לאדם שיכיר (Tosafot (Yevamot 5b, s.v. Kulkhem the Torah scholars “Do not stray from ויגמול חסד למי שעשה עמו טובה ... ושיתן .note that this is hardly obvious ”.the words that they tell you, right or left אל לבו כי האב והאם הם סיבת היותו בעולם, It is most revealing that R. Yosef Albo ועל כן באמת ראוי לו לעשות להם כל כבוד Bet Din ha-Gadol classifieskibbud av va-eim alongside וכל תועלת שיוכל, כי הם הביאוהו לעולם, גם lo tasur, the imperative to obey the יגעו בו כמה יגיעות בקטנותו. governs the entirety The root of this commandment [to honor rulings of Bet Din ha-Gadol, since both of Klal Yisrael, one’s parents is] that it is proper for a mitzvot are rooted deep in the soil of person to recognize and provide kindness religious authority. Bet Din’s authority local batei din for someone who has provided good to over and attendant responsibility you ... One should internalize the fact towards the community is mirrored preside over each that a father and mother are the basis by kibbud av va-eim, on the scale of the community, and of a person’s existence in this world. For individual family.7 this reason, it is proper to give them all Indeed, R. Yosef Albo’s interpretation parents preside over of the honor and service possible because was most likely inspired by the they brought their child into this world Rambam’s codification. Rather than their atomic mini- and they toiled for him many times while filing the laws ofkibbud av va-eim in growing up. Sefer Mada, where we might have communities—the But there appears to be an additional anticipated,8 the Rambam codifies family; kibbud av dimension to the mitzvah, as well. them in Hilkhot Mamrim, alongside R. Yosef Albo (Sefer ha-Ikarim the laws of Bet Din ha-Gadol. The va-eim is the bedrock 3:26) argues that kibbud av va-eim first four chapters ofHilkhot Mamrim is underwritten by the concept of pertain to the laws of compliance in which the system religious authority, the parents’ role and obedience to Bet Din ha-Gadol; in bequeathing their mesorah to their lo tasur; bal tosif (don’t add to the of Torah sheba’al peh children; if this religious authority is commandments); bal tigra (don’t is anchored. to be more than a chimera, it must be subtract from the commandments);

14 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775 and zakein mamrei (rebellious scholar). Chapters five and six tackle kibbud av va-eim. The final chapter covers ben soreir u-moreh (rebellious child). The unifying theme of Hilkhot Mamrim is the authority of Torah sheba’al peh (the Oral tradition) and the hierarchy of institutions that preside over it. Bet Din ha-Gadol governs the entirety of Klal Yisrael, local batei din preside over each community, and parents preside over their atomic mini-communities — the family; kibbud av va-eim is the bedrock in which the system of Torah sheba’al peh is anchored. A child’s first interaction with the Ribono Shel Olam is through his parents, through the values and beliefs and through the traditions they bequeath to him. It is perhaps with this in view that our above Tosafot saw kibbud av va-eim and kavod Shamayim as uniquely related, for it is in the furthering of kavod Shamayim that the authority of a parent — and thereby the imperative of kibbud — is firmly rooted. Several further indications bolster this interpretation that kavod Shamayim underpins kibbud av va-eim. First, the Gemara draws several salient analogies between the two. In Kiddushin (30b) the Gemara equates kibbud av va-eim with kavod ha-Makom: ת”ר נאמר: כבד את אביך ואת אמך, ונאמר: כבד את ה’ מהונך, השוה הכתוב כבוד אב ואם לכבוד המקום; נאמר: איש אמו ואביו תיראו, ונאמר: את ה’ אלהיך תירא ואותו תעבוד, השוה הכתוב מוראת אב ואם למוראת המקום; נאמר: מקלל אביו ואמו מות יומת, ונאמר: איש איש כי יקלל אלהיו ונשא חטאו, השוה הכתוב ברכת אב ואם לברכת המקום…וכן בדין, ששלשתן שותפין בו. Our rabbis taught: It says “Honor your father and your mother,” and it says “Honor God with your possessions,” the The future is verse equates honoring one’s parents to honoring God. It states “One shall fear his mother and father,” and it states “One shall in your hands. fear God, the Lord and worship Him,” The verse equates fear of one’s parents to fear of God. It states “One who curses one’s father or mother shall be killed,” and it states “A person who Meet Miriam Libman, a current Yeshiva University senior. curses God shall bear iniquity,” the verse equates cursing a Miriam will be graduating with a degree in accounting parent to cursing God ... The equations are logical because the and will begin her career at Ernst & Young in the fall. three (God, father and mother) are partners in his being. She is among the 90% of YU students employed, in In particular, the Gemara suggests that kibbud av va-eim is graduate school or both—within six months of graduation.* actually a form of kavod Shamayim: With nearly double the national average acceptance rates to medical school and 97% acceptance to law school and בזמן שאדם מכבד את אביו ואת אמו, אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא: מעלה placements at Big Four accounting firms, banks and אני עליהם כאילו דרתי ביניהם וכבדוני. When a person honors his parents, God says: I consider it as if consulting firms, our numbers speak for themselves. I live among you and you honored Me. Picture yourself at YU. #NowhereButHere And conversely for a child who distresses his parents:

15 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775 www.yu.edu | 212.960.5277 | [email protected]

*Career Center Survey, 2013/2014 www.yu.edu/enroll was such that the first five were written fellow mitzvot. What accounts for this תני תנא קמיה דרב נחמן: בזמן שאדם מצער ?on one tablet because they relate to the dialectic את אביו ואת אמו, אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא: יפה עשיתי שלא דרתי ביניהם, שאלמלי דרתי honor of the Creator. Perhaps the answer lies in the ביניהם ציערוני. A similar point is made by Chizkuni character of kibbud av va-eim as A beraita was taught before Rav (Shemot 20:12) a dimension of kavod Shamayim, Nachman: When a person causes anchored in the federation of religious חמש דברות הראשונות העובר עליהם אינו רע distress to a parent, God says: It is a authority. If parents embrace their אלא לשמים לפיכך הזכיר שמו בכולם שהרי good thing that I didn’t live among them role as torchbearers of mesorah, לשמו הם קבועים אבל חמש האחרונות אינם because if I did, they would cause Me their authority issues forth from the אלא לבריות לפיכך לא חש להזכיר שמו בהם. distress. hallowed recesses of . If one violates the first five kavod Shamayim In consonance with it, Similarly, Rav Yosef would compare commandments, he is only immoral kibbud av va- is vital, axiologically central, and kibbud av va-eim with kavod ha- towards God. Therefore, His name is eim exceedingly potent: Shekhinah: mentioned in all of them, because they hushvu kevodam . are there to serve Him. The last five are le-kavod ha-Makom רב יוסף כי הוה שמע קל כרעא דאמיה, אמר: towards other people and therefore, God But on these same grounds, if a parent איקום מקמי שכינה דאתיא. When Rav Yosef would hear the footsteps did not include His name.11 competes against kavod Shamayim, of his mother, he would say: I should rise when he tests his authority against 9 This classification would be virtually for the Shekhinah is coming. incomprehensible on the view that His Authority, he severs his own authority from its life source and is Second, the Tur (Yoreh Deah kibbud av va-eim is grounded in left pathetically paralyzed and pitiably 240:19) rules that kibbud av va-eim hakarat hatov. Additionally, in light feeble: Ani Hashem, kulkhem chayavim presupposes virtuous, upstanding of R. Yosef Albo’s interpretation, we bikhvodi. Thus, a parent’s demand parents. Parents who fail to uphold might further appreciate just how that his child violate a lav or even an the values of the Torah forfeit their felicitously kibbud av va-eim — as a aseh or even an aseh mi-derabanan is right to kibbud. If kibbud av va-eim manifestation of kavod Shamayim — halakhically meaningless. was grounded solely in hakarat hatov transitions the dibrot from bein adam — a natural debt of gratitude — it is la-Makom to bein adam la-chaveiro, the It is precisely this character of difficult to see how the rectitude of the fulcrum on which they turn. kibbud av va-eim, as rooted in kavod parent becomes a necessary condition Let us now return to our initial query. Shamayim, that explains the dialectic for kibbud. If, however, kibbud av va- We observed that a fundamental embedded at its core. When kibbud av coheres with , eim is grounded in a parent’s charge tension runs throughout kibbud av va-eim kavod Shamayim then to further kavod Shamayim, then it va-eim — a tension which speaks to hushvu kevodam le-kavod ha- ; but when follows that a parent who rebuts the its dialectical nature. Kibbud av va- Makom kibbud av va-eim stands in contradiction with it, very basis of his authority ipso facto eim is indisputably a linchpin of the renounces his claim to kibbud; such a Torah’s axiology and possibly, in the then Ani Hashem, kulchem chayavim . by parent has uprooted the very ground hava amina, more potent than other bikhvodi Kibbud av va-eim 10 necessity, then, is a mitzvah of either on which he stands. mitzvot in displacing a lav va’aseh, extreme, never coequal with other Third, some Rishonim classifykibbud matched with kavod ha-Makom. At the mitzvot — exactly as Tosafot noted. av va-eim as a mitzvah bein adam same time, it is pitiably powerless to la-Makom. The Ramban (Shemot displace an ordinary lav, an exception It will be recalled that the Gemara, 20:13), for instance, explicitly to the principle of aseh docheh lo in justifying kibbud av va-eim’s identifies the first fivedibrot — kibbud ta’aseh, and according to the Rambam, impotence, why it stands as an av va-eim among them — as mitzvot incapable of prevailing over even exception to aseh docheh lo ta’aseh, bein adam la-Makom: an aseh derabanan, incapacitated by characterized kibbud av va-eim as a kulkhem chayavim bikhvodi. Tosafot, “hekhsher mitzvah,” a mitzvah whose והנראה במכתב הלוחות שהיו החמש we saw, maintains that kibbud av import is essentially instrumental or ראשונות בלוח אחד שהם כבוד הבורא. va-eim is necessarily a mitzvah of preparatory, whose significance rests It seems that the writing of the tablets extremes, never coequal with its in its capacity to facilitate something

16 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775 external to itself. Perplexed by this characterization, Tosafot (Yevamot 6a, s.v. Shekein) argue that the Gemara did not intend to demote kibbud av va-eim to a mere hekhsher mitzvah but to describe the typical scenario in which kibbud av va-eim conflicts with alav . Strictly speaking, it is the preparation for kibbud av va-eim that conflicts with thelav , not the mitzvah itself. Suppose a father demands that his son cook for him on Shabbos. The cooking — the action that conflicts with Shabbos — is merely the preparation for kibbud, for kibbud inheres only in the act of serving (ma’akhilo), which occurs later. Hekhsher mitzvah then does not characterize kibbud av va-eim but the preparatory stages that lead up to it, and it is these stages that are powerless against a lav. This interpretation of Tosafot, however, is highly problematic. For as Tosafot themselves observe, kibbud av va-eim is debilitated even when the act of kibbud proper clashes against a lav, not just its preparatory stages. Ultimately, Tosafot appeal to an inelegant lo plug: Since hekhsherim are inadequate to displace a lav, and since most clashes of kibbud av va-eim involve only its hekhsherim, we simply generalize to all cases of kibbud — acts of kibbud av va-eim proper included — and declare them likewise powerless: ואר”י דכיבוד אב אפי’ עוסק בגוף מצוה לא דחי דבכל ענין קא פסיק שלא ישמע לו והיינו משום דברוב ענייני כיבוד רגילים להיות על ידי הכשר מצוה קאמר רחמנא דלא דחי בכל ענין. Rabbeinu Yitzchak asserts that even if one is involved in the actual mitzvah of honoring a parent, it does not override a negative commandment because the Talmud states that one should not listen to the parent under any circumstances. The future is now. This is because most situations of honoring are preparatory in nature and therefore, the Torah states that it can never Enroll today. override.

But perhaps the Gemara has something else in mind. For YU enables you to grow and deepen your understanding in light of our analysis, hekhsher mitzvah encapsulates the of, and commitment to, Jewish life at a top tier college fundamental character of kibbud av va-eim as a parent’s while discovering your passions and beliefs and forming partnership with the Ribono Shel Olam, as a delegate lasting friendships. With student programs across our of kavod Shamayim. It is parents who bring the world of campuses and worldwide, YU takes a global approach Torah and mitzvot to life for a child; and it is through to learning, education and values, creating a full college his parents that a child first embraceskavod Shamayim. Kibbud av va-eim is, in this sense, an instrument, a experience. hekhsher mitzvah for kavod Shamayim. A YU education is not out of reach. Over 80% of students The dynamics that governaseh docheh lo ta’aseh are received help with tuition last year, with over $45 million therefore inapplicable to kibbud av va-eim. For an in scholarship and financial aid awarded. ordinary conflict between alav and an aseh is adjudicated Picture yourself at YU. #NowhereButHere as an external clash between two competing principles,

17 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775 www.yu.edu | 212.960.5277 | [email protected]

www.yu.edu/enroll Grounded in a partnership with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, kibbud av va-eim is vital, axiologically central, and exceedingly potent. It is with this partnership that kibbud av va-eim integrates the worlds of bein adam la-makom and bein adam la-chaveiro, infusing the world of the former into the latter, and it is in this sense that kibbud av va-eim serves as the critical transition between the first and last fivedibrot . and fully determined by the laws An isolated Anokhi, abstract, perception of unlimited power, and intuitive of aseh docheh lo ta’aseh. A conflict removed and unapproachable, was impact that an infant and young child hardly intelligible. But partnered experience in a parental relationship establish with kibbud av va-eim, however, is a formative model for the Divine relationship construed as an internal conflict with kibbud av va-eim — an Anokhi of trust, reliance, and infinite appreciation. within kavod Shamayim and its reified in the love of a parent, an It is surely no coincidence that we relate to distribution, governed not by the Anokhi immanent in the foundation the omnipotent and omniscient Hashem laws of aseh docheh lo ta’aseh but by an of family life, an Anokhi that radiates also as Avinu shebashamayim, drawing on throughout a Jewish home — is that paradigm. Absent the parental bond, internal calculus of its own. it would be considerably more difficult, something else entirely. In harmony Grounded in a partnership with possibly impossible, to cultivate more than with kavod Hamakom, how truly, truly Hakadosh Baruch Hu, kibbud av an abstract link between limited man and resplendent this mitzvah is: hukash the transcendent Creator. This, too, is an va-eim is vital, axiologically central, kevodam le-kavod hamakom. important facet of the kavod Shamayim motif and exceedingly potent. It is with of kibbud av va-eim. The pivotal role parents this partnership that kibbud av va-eim Notes play in paving the way for a transference of these feelings and perceptions to Avinu integrates the worlds of bein adam 1. See the discussion below on whether shebashamayim is yet a further aspect of this la-makom and bein adam la-chaveiro, kibbud av va-eim itself is a mitzvah bein adam singular kavod Shamayim theme. I hope to la-chaveiro or bein adam la-makom. infusing the world of the former into elaborate these and additional components of the latter, and it is in this sense that 2. See the discussion in Sanhedrin 56b. kibbud av va-eim elsewhere. serves as the critical kibbud av va-eim 3. See Tosafot 6a s.v. Shekain. 8. Compare with the Tur and Shulkhan transition between the first and last Aruch’s codification ofHilkhot Kibbud Av 4. See Noda Beyehudah Kamah, Choshen fivedibrot . The Gemara inKiddushin va-Eim in Yoreh Deah 240, between Hilkhot Mishpat 40. (31a) beautifully captures this Sh’vuot, on the one hand, and Hilkhot Kavod partnership: 5. See Rambam, Sefer Hamitzvot, Shoresh Rabo ve-Talmid Chakham, on the other. Note 1 and Ramban’s comments there. See how the Rambam opens the sixth chapter of also Rambam, Hilkhot Mamrim 1:2. I’ve Hilkhot Talmud Torah, despite not having yet בשעה שאמר הקב”ה )שמות כ( אנכי ולא .elaborated more fully on this issue elsewhere. discussed kibbud av va-eim יהיה לך, אמרו אומות העולם: לכבוד עצמו For lack of a more suitable term, I 9. See also the position of the Yerushalmi .6 הוא דורש, כיון שאמר )שמות כ( כבד use “underwritten” free of its financial that kibbud av va-eim is greater than kavod את אביך ואת אמך, חזרו והודו למאמרות .connotations of “accepting liability” or Shamayim הראשונות. “guaranteeing,” but in its more archaic 10. See however the position of the Rambam When God commanded the first two meaning. The relevant metaphor is that of a (Mamrim 6:11). commandments, the nations of the surface text underwritten by an interpretive world said that He did so for His own conceptual text. 11. See also the discussion of the Minchat Chinuch no. 34. honor. Once He said “Honor your father 7. Furthermore, kibbud av va-eim constitutes and your mother,” they retracted and a vital foundation that facilitates the most accepted the first two. critical relationship with Hashem. The absolute trust and faith, unlimited reliance,

18 Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary • The Benjamin and Rose Berger CJF Torah To-Go Series • Shavuot 5775