CHINA DAILY What Do Chinese Parents Tell Their Kids About Santa? HOT POT

20 THURSDAY DECEMBER 24, 2009 LIFEPULSE CHINA DAILY What do Chinese parents tell their kids about Santa? HOT POT DEBBIE MASON My house, and unwitting neigh- bors, recently hosted a children’s Christmas party to which Father Christmas (or Santa, in the United States) rode up on a tricycle. He sat on an artifi cial reindeer, complete with red nose, in the front basket. My son goes to a Chinese kin- dergarten so we invited two of his best Chinese friends, along with all the other Western and mixed-race children we’ve known for years. Everyone got excited when the cracked bells clanked and the old, fl at-tired tricycle squeaked into the public courtyard carrying a plump, wobbling, slightly slurring, white- bearded, red-clothed old man. “Santa’s here!” shrieked the Western kids. “Shengdan Laoren lai le!” Luo Jie screamed the Chinese, no less thrilled. Watching their excited little faces and their expectation when he handed out his goodie bag of gifts, I wondered about how this fat Western fi gure in red goes down in Chinese families. Our children are simply lied to. At home with ‘Mr Mom’ “He delivers presents to all the children in the world. On the same night. By himself.” Not every trailing “His reindeer can fl y.” “He comes down the chimney, spouse of an expat even though we haven’t got one.” They are also bribed and black- on the move is a mailed. “He only comes to children who woman. Qiu Yijiao are asleep.” profi les two high- “He only comes to good children.” fl ying executives whose husbands manage the home front t is often said, “behind every successful man lies a woman”. But as more women storm traditional male bastions and Janet Ang and Anthony Cheah with their daughters. Jill Lee and her husband Kelvin Leong with their son (center). scoop up top jobs, shattering Ithe proverbial glass ceiling, it seems diversity offi cer at Siemens’ head- tivities, a rarity for men in Japan. He the business world and, especially, service back in Singapore. She and “behind every successful woman is a quarters in Munich, and Leong, are remembers the shock on the faces of the real state sector. her husband make it a point to sort man” — taking a backseat and playing convinced the decision they took in Japanese mothers when he told them Almost 10 years after relocat- out their occasional differences before Pang Li a supportive role at home. 2004 was a good one. he was a househusband. ing to a different country, Cheah communicating with their son. The recent Global Relocation Janet Ang, vice-president of “Anthony changed their traditional feels life is much easier now. The “It is important for a couple to feel When my boy goes back to class Trends Survey shows that 20 per- IBM’s Global Technology Services, beliefs that men did not make good family can afford a domestic help comfortable playing their different after Christmas and asks what cent of expatriates the world over found herself in a similar situation homemakers. The school our girls in Beijing, leaving Cheah more roles and agreeing on what is impor- his classmates received, will he are women — an all-time high. when she was posted to Beijing four attended even renamed the Mothers’ time for himself. He works as a tant for the family,” Lee says. tell them they were too naughty Many of them hold key positions in years ago. Her husband Anthony Association to Parents’ Association,” training program coordinator in a “I think the combination of being to benefi t? What will the Chinese multinational companies while their Cheah readily backed the idea of Ang says proudly. local orphanage and an honorary a home-dad and living abroad has children feel when they hear about husbands stay at home and ensure moving to China. The Singaporean “Right from the beginning, I teacher helping kids to improve made our family bond even stronger. the sack of toys he woke up to on its smooth running. No longer is expatriates were living in Tokyo at was very open-minded about this reading skills and hangs out with I have become more open-minded, Friday morning? And why he had a man always the breadwinner and that time and Cheah had been play- (the different gender roles),” Leong other male trailing spouses. adaptable and have begun caring for week off school? woman, the homemaker. ing “Mr Mom” to their four daugh- says. “It is also great that both Jill “My skin is getting thicker now,” small but important family needs,” Chinese children can’t be oblivi- This shift in gender roles can, ters ever since they left their home and I share the idea that each of us Cheah jokes. “In a party, I am comfort- says Leong. ous to the tradition. sometimes, complicate the challenges city in 1998. plays an equally important role in able exchanging notes with mothers Yvonne McNulty, a researcher Pictures of Father Christmas are of living in a whole new environment. “It was unthinkable for a man the family. We are very comfortable about where to buy fresh food and from Monash University, Australia, all over Beijing, in the classrooms, The fi ndings of the survey suggest to be without a job. But Janet is with the different responsibilities how my children perform at school, who has been following 21 male in the shops. Not to mention the that working women faced with good doing well at work and enjoys it we manage.” while other men usually talk about trailing spouses for the past four number of Christmas trees and all career prospects abroad are often con- so much,” says Cheah, who turned Once one of Lee’s colleagues who business.” years says, “(the phenomenon) has the traditional music everywhere. strained in their decision to move by full-time homemaker from real es- had not met Leong before asked him For both Ang and Lee, family is a little to do with Eastern or Western China has embraced this tradition resistance from their spouse and the tate agent. “We could live off Janet’s which department he handled. “I told priority. Weekends are strictly for the culture. Each family decides who goes from overseas in a way we certainly family’s inability or reluctance to income in Tokyo while I helped the him I was responsible for Jill and we family, at home or outdoors. Ang, for out for work’’. haven’t Spring Festival, although adjust to a new set-up. whole family get used to the new both had a good laugh.” instance, makes it a point to attend “I think the whole power balance this has gained popularity in the But Singaporean Jill Lee faced no environment.” Lee has no qualms about telling all events in which her daughters in relationships is happening quicker West. such issues when asked to assume He admits that he learned on the people that at home Leong is her take part. She spends a lot of time these years, which means women “My daughter is 5, she knows all responsibility as the first Asian job. “Although it was messy and CEO. The fact that she can leave all with them on the phone when she assuming a breadwinner role in a about Santa Claus and Christmas,” CFO of Siemens in China, in 2004. noisy sometimes, no one complained decision-making to him once she re- is on a business trip, infl ated bills relationship is probably becoming says one Chinese father. “But when Her husband Kelvin Leong felt very because they knew it was diffi cult for turns home after work is extremely notwithstanding. a more acceptable, and less unique, it comes to getting presents and proud and encouraged her to accept me,” Cheah recalls. relaxing, she says. “I envy Anthony’s having a spe- phenomenon that it used to be,” says so on, they just think, ah well it’s the opportunity. Ang is thankful to her husband for Like any other homemaker, Leong cial bond with the girls.” The girls McNulty. a foreign tradition. Something the “Both of us felt that it was great to his efforts. “Anthony knows well that I makes sure the needs of the family surround their father like a fl ock of Her research has found that the foreign kids do. have this foreign exposure while we am better suited to outside work. Sur- are met. When friends and relatives birds every time the couple is back non-traditional spouse who agrees “They don’t feel hard done by. were young and my husband thought prisingly, he managed to handle all the from Singapore pay a visit here, he is home after an evening out, turning to the reversal of roles prior to the To tell the truth, I think it’s a bit the overseas schooling would help our nitty-gritty within the house,” says the the one taking them around Beijing. to hug her only later. “But they know relocation is likely to adjust better over the top now. I just prefer our son mature faster and adapt to new fast-talking businesswoman. Leong likes to keep himself well- they can approach each of us on dif- after the move. And the division Chinese Spring Festival. Christ- challenges,” says Lee. Later, Cheah got involved in informed of current news from the ferent issues.” of labor also helps build a strong mas doesn’t have any meaning Both Lee, who is currently chief community services and school ac- press and Internet, particularly of Lee’s son is now doing military family.

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